#arnold rimmer headcanons

[castiels-slinky]

Rimmer HCs!

Rimmer actually is/was an amazing swimmer! However, he had lost one (1) competition, which caused him to quit as his parents were extremely disappointed in him. He then ended up subconsciously believing that he didn't know how to swim in the end.

He's rather intelligent, but suffers from SEVERE test anxiety; it's to the point where he physically got ill whenever he had to take an exam.

He loves being held, but he also loves to hold others.

Rimmer has everyone's birthdays memorized. He leaves them little gifts, pretending that he only made one because he "had to" or "Lister made me". Lister has never needed to force him.

Rimmer has trained himself to never cry in front of other people.

The others have been working to get him to let his emotions out in ways that aren't just anger, reminding him that he's allowed to cry.

Whenever he shows that he actually cares about his crewmates, Rimmer will just cover it up with an insult. It's not as effective as he thinks it is.

The first person he ever came out to was Lister, who told him that he loved him all the same; there was nothing wrong with him for being who he was.

He's claimed a room near his and Lister's bunk as his "studio". Here, he likes to paint, draw, and make collages.

He actually bought Rachel so he could have a friend.

[therealsullivan3000]

Red Dwarf Headcanons (w/ a copius amount of Rimster)

Rimmer once stole Lister's guitar, repaired the missing strings, and tuned it and when Lister found out, he was upset until he tried playing it and realized that it didn't actually sound bad

With the guitar tuned, Rimmer still doesn't want to hear Lister play anything, but then Lister agrees to learn Edelweiss from The Sound of Music and Rimmer decides that he's allowed to play that

Rimmer then forces Lister to play Edelweiss for him whenever he can't sleep and although Lister gets sick of the song, he does it anyway because he knows it makes Rimmer happy

The two eventually move out of their bunkroom and into the Captains Quarters on Lister's suggestion because it has a bigger bed; Rimmer agrees to it because he likes the idea of occupying the room of the highest ranking officer on the ship

Lister can actually cook if he tries hard enough and has a recipe, meanwhile Rimmer cannot cook whatsoever; he attempted once and was henceforth banned from the kitchen

Rimmer is actually very physically affectionate but hates having to initiate it and so Lister learns all of Rimmer's unspoken cues for when he wants a hug or a hand to hold

Lister uses all sorts of ridiculous pet names for Rimmer just to get him worked up

The Cat will sometimes just come into Rimmer and Lister's room, sleep on the foot of their bed, and then if they question it he'll just say that it was the most comfortable spot in the moment

When Lister and Rimmer eventually want to get married, Kryten ends up officiating the wedding after taking an online course to get a license but then ends up objecting during the objections because he's upset that now he'll have one less set of sheets to launder

Rimmer is asexual and didn't realize it until he tried to make moves on Lister and Lister confronted him, asking if he actually wanted sex or if he just thought it was just what people are supposed to do in relationships (Rimmer totally thought it was just relationship protocol)

Rimmer will occasionally take Lister's leather jacket and wear it around because it makes him feel safe and loved

[rdwarfiverse]

Rimmer and Cat are the gayest besties you ever seen. Its not even funny 😭

They been gossiping, talking shit, being slutty, and gay talk.

They literally scream to romantic drama together!!!

Of course this is a hidden friendship. They still had to hiss and fist at each other in "public".

But they're friends.

[strange-and-off-putting]

Because I waver even on my own perspective:

[raidermomma]

The problem with making the headcanon that Rimmer smells of sandalwood is that I can now no longer smell sandalwood without going feral.

I must now come with a warning that if you smell of sandalwood there is a high chance I will attempt to, at the very least, crawl into your lap.

[mxtheo3]

Happy Aro and Ace Awareness Days this pride with this Holly moment

"I didn't see anything. I don't think I've got any desire. Either that or my screen is foggy"

I normally read Holly to be in the AroAce spectrum anyway but as I rewatch Camile to celebrate Ace's pride for Kryten and Camile's relationship I just noticed this quote. Like omg Aro Holly's headcanon is just *chef kiss*

Red Dwarf is a give that keeps on giving

[greyangelpain]

Finding a band new closed off character to kin then finding out everyone in the fandom headcanons them as autistic and like.....

yeah... that tracks.

[mmufanatic]

If there is anyone out there who likes Murder Most Unladylike and Red Dwarf, then imagine Hazel as Kryten, Daisy as Rimmer, Alexander as Lister and George as Cat. There must be someone else out there who can imagine George removing the emergency parachute of a spacecraft to make a puffer jacket out of it.

[ploibottime]

Lister, incredibly hurt, almost lost a leg, massive wound hurt.

Rimmer; unable to grasp the concept of helping without feeling embarrassed because he feels he shouldn't be empathetic and emotional toward others because nobody has ever been to him; so he literally runs away

[bois-from-the-dwarf]

The fact that the Tumblr side of this fandom seems to unanimously agree that Rimmer is autistic and not straight pleases me greatly

[castiels-slinky]

RED DWARF HCS!!!!

Rimmer is biromantic asexual. (Internalized homophobia, though; he believes that he is broken and tries to act as if he isn't in order to "fix it".)

Kryten doesn't identify with any gender, but he does usually use he/him pronouns for simplicity.

The Cat does, in fact, have a tail! He just hides it so no one pulls on it.

Lister enjoys making pillow forts, especially when he wants to watch his favorite shows.

Lister's also intersex because I said so.

Rimmer secretly cares deeply for everyone aboard RD. Yes, even the skutters. He knows all of their names and pronouns and everything.

Lister was heavily influenced by David Bowie, KISS, and the Sex Pistols. They all made him want to learn to play guitar and perform.

Kryten is SUPER into reality TV.

He has gotten everyone else into it.

They watch Keeping Up With the Kardashians together.

KOCHANSKI??? TRANSFEM.

Lister wants to decorate jackets for the other Boys From The Dwarf (tm), complete with all sorts of patches and buttons that he feels like they would identify with.

Rimmer loves to paint. While soft-light, not being able to do that upsets him greatly.

He is also VERY tactile. Being hard-light has made him far happier than he would ever admit simply because he can touch.

The Cat has made it his mission to try to bedazzle Rimmer's 'H'.

Holly is genderfluid who doesn't give a damn.

She's like. "She/Her? Yep." And then randomly goes, "Actually, he/him. No wait-"

They have game nights and such! Movie nights, too. They once all made friendship bracelets for each other.

Friendly reminder that my ask box is ALWAYS open! Feel free to drop headcanon requests. It always makes me happy! :)

[red-dwarfer]

some headcanons cause why not 😎

[bisexualmultifandommess]

I said yesterday that I was going to make queer headcanon posts for my favourite characters almost every day for pride month so:

Today’s character is Dave Lister from Red Dwarf!

Lister:

Lister didn’t really label himself as anything when he was very young as he didn’t really know the terms as he was surrounded at first by a few people who weren’t very lgbt friendly until he got a bit older and started getting into music and meeting people who felt more like him. All he knew was that he really liked girls and as he got older he started realising his feelings for guys too.

Lister came out as bisexual at first to his gran who was accepting to him. She was known to be very protective of him if anyone said anything against him.

The first boy he had a crush on was a another guy who was in his school. He was quite tall but well built and was shown to sometimes be a little smug at times due to being quite attractive and intelligent. Lister mainly liked him due to his looks but also thought when he wasn’t acting like a dick he was almost nice to talk to.

Lister isn’t the type to bring up his sexuality to people and kind of just lets people find out. Whenever someone finds out he pretends to be confused and act like he told them.

His friend group on Red Dwarf were a little confused when they found out because he always talked about Kochanski. Peterson was the most confused so Lister had to explain what bisexuality meant. Since his friends weren’t the brightest they didn’t really understand at first and made a few jokes but due to ignorance rather than any malice but eventually stopped once Lister makes it clear that some jokes make him a little uncomfortable. Despite not being the most educated on it they are accepting of him which despite putting on a facade of not caring really relieved Lister.

Lister had a massive crush on Kochanski for ages but at the same time for the first week or so had a small crush on Frank. He thought Frank’s looks and confidence was really attractive but didn’t really act on anything because he was higher up than him and he liked Kochanski. He still sometimes flirted with Todhunter lightly which Frank even returned at times though it was just a little fun.

When he first met Rimmer and was assigned to bunk with him on Red Dwarf he thought he was attractive too. He had a similar look to Todhunter so Lister started assuming he had a type since the boy he liked during school was similar too. He liked his curly hair and liked his height since he kind of likes height differences in his relationships whether it’s him being the taller one or his partner. It was only when Rimmer actually started talking that Lister was a little put off and their animosity started.

Despite not really getting along Lister still found Rimmer attractive which annoyed him. Sometimes when Rimmer wasn’t being a complete smeg head and wasn’t bossing him around he was almost nice. Lister was quite surprised with himself when he found himself catching feelings for Rimmer because he was just the complete opposite of himself and even though he was kind of his type he didn’t have the usual confidence that his other crushes have had. He also knew that Rimmer didn’t seem to like him that much either (spoiler alert: he did he just didn’t realise).

[rdwarfiverse]

Michael suffers from his adopted siblings.

Raph, Jim, Bextley be like:

[celery505]

Series 4/5 was a weird time for Rimmer its like the writers suddenly decided he wasn’t traumatised enough and accidentally added too much.

[tongue---tied]

Angsty Rimmer HC: he didn’t understand what a shoulder to cry on actually meant (like… the people facing each other and hugging while one cries) until his mid 20’s… because he’d never experienced that

These lines from Wham!’s Last Christmas have me in a chokehold:

My God, I thought you were someone to rely on Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on

sorry this took me so long to answer anon 😭

this is a very angsty headcanon but you’ve just helped me realise that ‘huh, that’s what that means?’ I always thought you literally leaned your forehead on someone’s shoulder and cried 😭😭

wham’s last Christmas is giving me ideas for a first ever boyfriend (obviously hiding it from his family) essentially using him as a therapist and throwing him away when he starts needing more back, essentially stuck in an all take and no give relationship. And then this would give him an even worse experience of being queer? So he’d have more internalised homophobia?? Ughhhh this mannnnn

thank you for the ask!!