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What does Jazaiti social structure look like, irt mothers? Or like, what role do they play
Some things to be clear on beforehand:
Child: a young Jazait is considered functionally genderless and occupies this age-gender group until puberty. A child is classified as a man when testes descend (though occupies a secondary ‘young man’ space until full completion of puberty). A child becomes a woman at completion of baseline female puberty (having a fully developed mane and having undergone a growth spurt). Man: gender assignment for adult individuals with a penis and testes. They will be wed to mothers. Woman: gender assignment for adult individuals with vaginas who do NOT have active estrus cycles. Most will remain women throughout their lives and be unwed, some will become mothers. Mother: gender assignment for individuals with vaginas who DO have active estrus cycles (considered a mother regardless of if they have actually had children or not). A woman can become a mother and all mothers were once women, but these are distinct and separate gender roles. Elder mother: not a specific gender role- a post-fertile mother who no longer has an active estrus cycle. Clanmother: not a specific gender role- the current eldest mother in any given clan, who acts as its leader.
In typical elowey development, sexually mature males + nonreproductive females are minimally dimorphic, and sexual traits apart from genitalia are usually indistinct. Average size and build is approximately the same, females tend to have larger cuspids. The most strongly dimorphic feature is in scent, with most adult males and females having distinct smells.
Reproductive females on the other hand are more strongly dimorphic- there is typically an additional growth spurt and gain of body fat/muscle, voices deepen, manes grow longer and thicker, nipples grow longer and some breast tissue is accumulated (though not as much as humans, elowey only have fully developed breasts during lactation). Their scent is also distinct from males and nonreproductive females.
All elowey undergo puberty that results in an individual becoming sexually mature and physiologically capable of reproduction, but the estrus/ovulation cycles of females are hormonally suppressed by proximity of a reproductive female. A female’s estrus cycle will initiate on its own with time in the absence of a reproductive female, and will be directly initiated through sexual activity. Non-reproductive females will typically have a sex drive equivalent to a reproductive female when not in estrus- sex may be desirable in being physically pleasurable or as an act of affection, but baseline libido levels are low. Hormonal suppression cannot completely preclude the initiation of estrus (though will typically cause it to be irregular) and would be supplemented by behavioral suppression (the socially dominant reproductive female preventing others from mating) in pre-behaviorally modern ancestors. Instinct towards behavioral suppression often translates into social control of female sexual activity in elowey cultures, but this is not universal.
(^^The baseline physiology described here is universal to elowey, not just Jazait)
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Jazait culture is mother-matriarchal, in which mothers are socially and politically dominant to men and women. All women have the potential to become mothers, but most never will, and only inherit the dominant social status upon this occurring. Being a mother is reckoned as a blessed, elevated state and one that is purely natural to occupy positions of strength and leadership, with related men and women being better suited for supporting roles and exacting her will.
Mothers have greater religious status in society and are deemed to be beings made in the sun-mother's image, who is the creator god in Jazaiti religious belief (accompanied by one other (non-creator) god, the moon-father(s), understood as one and three beings and her husband(s)). Their fertility is reckoned as being a gift from the sun-mother. This blessing extends beyond procreation and allows for mothers to work through the sun-mother to encourage needed growth and new life (in fish stocks, livestock, agriculture and forage, singing down the rains, etc). Jazaiti religion (and culture itself) is heavily decentralized, and a clanmother will be the spiritual leader of any given family group and will impart accumulated religious knowledge of generations onto her descendants.
The use of scent glands has strong applications in Jazait culture, particularly in the case of a clanmother. A clanmother will undergo a yearly ceremony in which she journeys around the limits of her clan's land and applies wrist gland secretions along the way, enforcing a protective ring that dissuades the entrance of evil spirits and forms a metaphysical boundary, a sense of 'here' and 'there'. She will also mark the faces of newborn children as means of fully initiating and accepting them into the clan. In any case where a person, place, or thing needs spiritual enforcement as belonging to a clan, this task falls to the clanmother. Any mother's scent is regarded as having properties of blessing, particularly in association with fertility.
A mother's status will generally be passed onto her eldest daughter upon completing rites of initiation, who will be wed and move out of her mothers household (thus eliminating hormonal suppression and allowing for sexual contact to more rapidly initiate estrus). The clanmother has the ultimate say in whether other daughters can become mothers, and will make this decision on a variety of factors- reading the will of the sun-mother, their own opinion on the daughter's suitability for the role, political strategy and necessity (or lack thereof) for additional marriages with another clan, and material concerns of territory and sustenance (a clan can only sustain so many families, with only the wealthiest and most powerful clans having many mothers therein).
This society has a clan system wherein the eldest mother (usually past reproductive age) has the primary and final say in the affairs of her clan. Her husbands will be considered clanfathers and have an elevated rank among other men in the clan. Clans follow a rank hierarchy of clanmother > mothers > clanfathers > husbands > women and unwed men > children.
The number of men is highly disproportionate to the number of mothers, and as such most marriages are polyandrous. One’s number of husbands is usually directly proportionate to one’s wealth, both in indicating access to resources to sustain a large family, and in practical measure, as a dowry is paid to the mother of each male spouse. Husbands will be absorbed into their wife’s clan (though this establishes ties and responsibilities with his former clan), and kinship is matrilineal and makes no distinction between children of different husbands.
A child’s biological father will often be circumstantially known, but this direct relation is not of great importance as each husband is considered a father to all associated children. Due to potential ambiguity in fatherhood and purely matrilineal descent, extramaritial affairs are not of substantial consequence and resulting children will not be considered bastards, but this this is generally frowned upon as lowly and undignified behavior.
Clans are typically very large and spread widely with clan-affiliated families occupying vast territories. Different mothers in the same clan do not directly interact on a regular basis and typically only assemble for festivities and rites, or to discuss matters of utmost importance in person. They will instead use their husbands as messengers (often one husband ends up specifically designated as a messenger, which is a loosely esteemed status as this will often indicate the greatest trust and affection).
The Jazait have no specified warrior culture (this doesn’t mean conflict is nonexistant, just that there is no strongly developed traditions surrounding it). Most women and men will have learned basic self defense and will know how to handle a spear or knife, and will fill roles of warriors in times of conflict. Mothers tend to be protected from directly engaging in combat, and will act as commanders and mediators in all but the most dire of circumstances. Mothers entering combat is a common narrative motif in Jazait storytelling and folklore, used to demonstrate the profound gravity of a conflict.
All members of a family/clan participate in childcare, with married men and mothers being the primary childrearers and the most involved in the domestic sphere and near the home (producing textiles, cooking, farm labor, etc). Women perform the majority of non-domestic labor (in traditional subsistence, this will be fishing, leviathan hunting, foraging, and some herding). This is not itself a gendered role and is partially just pragmatism- most women will go their entire lives without becoming mothers (and will thus be unmarried), while most men will be married, so there’s a greater proportion of women available for tasks away from the home.
The sexual behavior of men and especially women is strongly controlled. Men are expected to solely engage in potentially reproductive behavior with mothers, and women are expected to engage in no sexual behavior with men whatsoever (unless in the context of becoming mothers, as dictated and approved by their own). A woman who becomes pregnant without her mother's consent will technically become a mother (as this act will have been in the context of the estrus cycle self-initiating via sexual contact, and the resulting physical changes will occur), but this is deeply shameful and the theft of a great gift, and will typically result in her exile from the clan, and she and her children being clanless (conceptually close to ‘bastard’ status). This status is effectively permanent and may be socially and materially devastating, depriving the mother and child from their support network and the core unit of Jazait society. The only potential salvation occurs if the father’s clanmother makes the decision to accept the clanless child (and sometimes mother) into her own clan.
Clanless Jazait often form their own communities as means for mutual support, or may be strongly driven to turn to finding work amid other peoples as means of supporting themselves and their children. A significant proportion of Jazait who participate in Imperial Wardi society are clanless, and most established Jazait diasporic communities are at least partly Wardinized- no communities at large are fully assimilated into Wardi culture, but most participate in Wardi-esque marriage patterns as a means of sustaining their communities in this different cultural/subsistence context, and many have adopted syncretic Jazaiti-Wardi faith systems.
There is no direct stigma towards homosexual behavior, though it will be seen as more natural between women (having no other sexual outlets) than between men. While homosexual behavior itself is unstigmatized, men and mothers are fully expected to play reproductive roles in a marriage, and women tasked with becoming mothers (which will involve sexual activity with a man via their first husband) have little say in the matter.
The conceptualization of gender is a strict trinary, with no specified roles that divergence from the man - woman - mother construction. The status of intersex people depends on their variation- many intersex traits will go unnoticed or interpreted as infertility (especially due to minimal sexual dimorphism between males and non-reproductive females), and others tend to be interpreted as negative physical abnormalities.
#Kind of just became a post about gender roles as a whole but if you're still following me at this point you're here for the Paragraphs#Also should note because like. Estrus in fantasy tends to be at least a LITTLE bit of a fetishy 'I HAVE TO FUCK NOW OR I WILL DIE' thing#so like. To be clear it is NOT that wild. If you ovulate/have average libido levels and notice a higher libido While ovulating that's prett#much what it's like. Being in estrus is like your highest average day to day horniness levels while being out of estrus is like your lowest#Also might be experienced a bit like menstruation in effects on moods- one might be more irritable and prone to mood swing while#in estrus#There are some additional dimensions to it particularly in that involves perceivable physical effects- bare skin is flushed and the#anogenital region swells (this is expected to be publicly concealed in Jazaiti culture). Also one's scent changes in a way that will be#recognized as indicating fertility. All of these things will be instinctually considered Hot and someone in estrus will generally#be considered elevated in physical attractiveness.#This won't drive people into mad unbridled lust but will make the person in estrus more sexually desirable to most sensibilities.#jazait
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Modern / College AU Labru Snippets:
- Laios and Kabru meet as classmates who get paired together for a project, and although they initially clash at first, through the assignment they find themselves clicking in the most unexpected ways.
- After the project is finished, they still keep texting each other. Laios sends Kabru a photo of an opossum that was lurking right outside his bedroom window late one night. Kabru later texts him a picture of a fluffy stray cat that won’t leave him alone every time he walks up his apartment. He initially acts as if he doesn’t like the cat and that it’s bothering him by always following him home, but Laios constantly enthuses over text about how he would love this meet this cat someday. Suddenly Kabru is sneaking this cat little pets and treats in hopes it’ll stick around for when Laios may eventually (hopefully) come over. Before he knows it, Kabru has formed a soft spot for the stray.
- Both of their friend groups mesh and the two find themselves wondering each day when they’ll get to see each other next. They instantly attach in group settings without a second thought, and everyone notices the spark they have going on but them. Laios is excited in a ‘wow this is the coolest, nicest, most interesting friend I’ve ever had!’ type of way, while Kabru recognizes & reconciles with the fact that he’s crushing pretty early on.
- Toward the end of the semester, Marcille hosts a house party, and there’s actually a moment where Kabru sits with Chilchuck on the rooftop ?? It’s an extremely rare occasion and odd for them to ever be alone together, but Kabru had wondered out onto the second floor balcony for some fresh air + a moment to think, and spotted Chilchuck smoking a joint by himself atop the roof shackles to the right of him, just beyond the balcony.
- They watch Laios and a few others down below do something stupid and party related, like chug a drink or eat something fast in one go. It’s mostly quiet between the two up top, save for the few awkward hellos in acknowledgment when Kabru first shows up. Until Chilchuck, of all people, decides to finally break the silence between them. 
“I’d just be straight up with him at this point, if I were you.”
Kabru jumps a little at the unexpected suggestion, glancing toward him with wary eyes. He does his absolute best in every interaction to present himself in a very particular way. Had he been that easy to read all this time?
“Straight with who?” Kabru questions as innocently as he could pretend with a smile, brushing a curl behind his ear.
Chilchuck takes a drag and blows smoke up toward the sky, slightly annoyed but not trying to bite this time around. “Laios. It looks like you want something so bad, but you’re holding back or something. He’s not going to pick up on anything unless you spell it out for him, y’know.”
Kabru covers one of his ears as he feels them burn, looking down into the plastic cup barely filled with beer in his hands. “It’s not— I don’t…” he starts, but feels dumb finishing any semblance of denial. Surprising himself, he caves in, swirling the drink. “It’s just… I don’t want to lose this. His friendship has become pretty important to me.”
“Does Laios come across as someone who would make things awkward?” Chilchuck asks, snuffing out the nub of his joint into the roof and turning to Kabru. Kabru furrows his brow at him.
“Not typically, but I somehow can never figure him out when it comes to things I’ve never tried with him before. Risks with him are truly unpredictable.”
He hums in disagreement, watching the last of the smoke escape the joint before it completely fizzles out. “Eh, I don’t know. Think about it like this. If he doesn’t reciprocate the feelings, do you think he’d have trouble still being friends with you? Laios, being the way that he is, I mean.”
Kabru thinks about it for a minute. Laios really was different from other friends he’d made throughout his life. He didn’t waste time putting up fronts just to save face, and he can’t really pick up on things being awkward for either party. If Kabru confessed and got denied, it would hurt himself mostly, but it wouldn’t rapidly change the air between them. Laios probably wouldn’t want to stop being friends or need time apart just out of awkwardness, which is what one would normally expect after rejection. “I think I get what you mean. I suppose not.”
Chilchuck put the burnt out nub into his pocket to save for a final short smoke later. “I don’t know exactly what all goes on in that guy’s head, but being an observer, I’d think you’d notice by now when he’s actually looking back. I guess it’s easier as a third party.”
Kabru takes a sip of his beer as he carefully considers Chilchuck’s words and watches Laios down below. In that moment, Laios happens to look up and catch Kabru’s gaze, immediately smiling and giving him a friendly wave. It feels like it’s just between them, save for the audience member right next to Kabru witnessing the whole thing. Chilchuck sighs and stands up, dusting his pants off.
“You guys do you. I barely understand my own feelings and how to go about them these days, but if you already know yours so confidently, then there shouldn’t be much stopping you from sharing them. Bottling up seems a lot more painful. It’s hard to watch, anyway.” He stretches before crawling down from the roof shackles onto the balcony. He offers a small wave as he passes by to head inside. Kabru turns to watch him go, saying a soft “Thanks Chilchuck,” as he disappears into a hallway, presumably toward the stairs.
When Kabru turns back around and glances down, Laios is in fact still looking up at him. His face heats up a bit, unsure what to say or do in response, and then Laios is grinning brightly and motioning for him to come and join them. Kabru nods, downs the last of his drink, and then hurries inside, heart pounding in his chest.
#i don’t know if i’ll ever properly make this a fic but i have so many random lil scenes like this just written and sitting around…#felt the urge to share#i think this chilchuck is softer than what you’d expect but#i kind of like to imagine he’s going through his own lil romance moment at the time and so he’s has a tad bit of it already on his mind#can’t really figure out himself tho#he also would certainly find the whole dancing around whether they like each other irritating when the solution is so clear#chilchuck is like ‘just kiss already and be done with it watching you run in circles around the obvious is giving me a migraine#i don’t think kabru and chilchuck like each other v much but i also feel like there’s a tad bit of potential for them to have some sort of#or come to a sort of neutral standing and i wanted to write that#blegh#idk how to format these excerpts sorry if this post is awkward lmao#dungeon meshi#labru#delicious in dungeon#dunmeshi#laios touden#kabru of utaya#laios x kabru#chilchuck tims#marcille donato#fanfic#writing#cat rambles#modern au#college au
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the writing in csm is genuinely so genius but it’s also so . crude . and i think that’s the reason people misunderstand it so often. it makes you feel deeply uncomfortable and it Should but that doesn’t make it bad . you need to pay attention to the undertones and narrative and i genuinely don’t think a lot of shounen fans bother to 😭😭
#not to throw dirt on my own people but like#…… yknow .#there’s a big portion of shounen bros who aren’t interested in analysis at all#and i don’t think csm is the kind of manga you can appreciate properly without analysis#idk im just 🤨🤨 really… irritated by how upset some people are over the new chapter#it’s Supposed to make you feel uncomfortable. that doesn’t make it bad writing#and it also doesn’t mean that the narrative is trying to justify it#csm has always been written in a very crude way but it’s also telling a very grounded and impactful story#and i think that contrast in itself is super special..#anyway i just needed to ramble a bit 😭 stan tatsuki fujimoto my glorious king they will never make me hate you#ari noises ✩
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watching current ep moments and i wish i liked bells hells more 💔 (/lh its fine) but they are lacking something that makes me personally Connect with them. they kind of just slip off of my brain after i see a clip of them (part of why im 50something eps behind. but mostly also i was busy the past year)
#i dont rly love any of them a huge amount like i do with tmn#which i think all of them are awesome and i can think abt all of them and go omg yayyyyy :) tmn yay !#but bells hells range from pretty cool interesting character to like. theyre there. to me.. they just never stick#the delilah thing with laudnas kind of boring to me. bc its like a villain thats already been around . orym is a bit nothingy to me#(sorry lee) at least where i got to. fcg died and was cute sometimes#i did like fearne and imogen a lot . however i dont like the feywilds vibes and instead found it irritating#kiddo say
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OC Interview - Valerie Powell
I was tagged by @gloryride forever ago to interview my girl--Thank you, bb! I'm so late to doing this that I'm not gonna tag anyone else, but feel free to yoink it if you wanna do it!
[Answers are directly from Valerie's POV before the heist in 2077.]
.ೃ࿔*:・ NAME?
Valerie Irene Powell. [laughs] Yeah, my initials are VIP. My dad had a dorky sense of humor, and my mom let him get away with it. "Irene" is my great-grandmother's first name on her side of the family.
.ೃ࿔*:・ NICKNAME?
Pretty much just "V" these days, which was all Jackie's doing. A lot of the staff and some regulars at Nishimura's used to call me "Blue," but that was ages ago. Overly familiar acquaintances who don't know me well but think they do usually call me "Val."
.ೃ࿔*:・ GENDER?
Biologically female, no gender alterations or augmentations.
A/N - Valerie is a cis woman, but I don't see that specific language being in her vernacular.
.ೃ࿔*:・ STAR SIGN?
I was born in Night City on October 12 2041. Misty tells me that makes me a, uh--Hey, Misty, what am I again?
[Misty, calling from the other room: Libra Sun with a Taurus Moon and Scorpio Rising!]
Yeah, that. [laughs] Whatever the hell that even means.
.ೃ࿔*:・ HEIGHT?
Tall. 5'10" or 178 cm. And I admit I have a weakness for a sexy pair of heels, so I usually look a lot taller.
.ೃ࿔*:・ ORIENTATION?
People are out here fucking cyborgs with four eyes and chicks with gold dicks and electric nipples--What does this even mean? [laughs] I've never given it much thought. I like what I like, and I've liked a lot of different types of people with a lot of different things going on. [laughs again]
A/N: I say Valerie is bi, because that is the contemporary real-life word that best reflects her sexuality for me when I'm talking about her, but when I was really thinking about it from her POV and in the context of her world, I don't think she'd be too hung up on a label. She'd also probably see her wide spectrum of attraction as closer to the default, not the exception.
.ೃ࿔*:・ NATIONALITY/ETHNICITY?
I'm a typical American mutt. My dad's side of the family can mostly be traced back to Western Europe--my grandmother told me "Powell" is an Anglicized form of an old Welsh surname--and my mom's side is from the Eastern Mediterranean. Dad's side has been in NUSA for a long time (like two centuries before it was even called NUSA), but Mom's family has only been here for a few generations.
.ೃ࿔*:・ FAVE FRUIT?
I just love fresh fruit. It's such a rare treat in Night City--I'll take fresh strawberries or melons over any other kind of sweet treat.
.ೃ࿔*:・ FAVE SEASON?
Spring! When everything starts turning green and flowers are blooming. There aren't a ton of places in Night City where you can really experience that, but I know a few hidden gems.
.ೃ࿔*:・ FAVE FLOWER?
Hydrangeas, probably. Especially the blue and purple ones. Oh, and wisteria! A tree covered in blooming wisteria is one of the most beautiful sights I've ever seen.
.ೃ࿔*:・ FAVE SCENT?
Freshly brewed coffee; new car smell; woodsy, smokey colognes and perfumes; real leather; whatever incense Misty uses in her shop; clothes right out of the dryer; lavender; a ton more that I know I'm forgetting!
.ೃ࿔*:・ COFFEE, TEA, OR HOT CHOCOLATE?
Strong coffee, black, maybe a little sugar if I'm feeling indulgent. Tea is nice, but it's not my caffeine fix. I like a cup of lavender or chamomile tea at night. Hot chocolate is too heavy and rich for my taste. A sip is nice, but I could never finish a cup.
.ೃ࿔*:・ AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP?
I try not to get any fewer than 6 hours, but that's easier said than done some nights. Okay, most nights.
.ೃ࿔*:・ DOG OR CAT PERSON?
You know, I've only ever seen one dog in person. A childhood friend's family had one--I don't know the breed, but it was a yippy little shit and it bit me! Never really wanted to see another dog, if I'm honest.
I like cats, though. There's a stray that hangs by Misty's place--He's the sweetest little guy. I picked up a bag of kibble we keep there to feed him when he comes around.
.ೃ࿔*:・ DREAM TRIP?
I've actually traveled a lot--My parents had to go to Biotechnica's HQ in Rome a few times when I was a kid, and they usually turned those trips into an excuse to have an extended European vacation. And I went all over the globe working for Arasaka for 7 years. I'd love to go back to Japan for non-work reasons.
.ೃ࿔*:・ FAVORITE FICTIONAL CHARACTER?
You're gonna laugh, it's so predictable. In my defense, I can't remember the last time I watched or read anything new--Actually, that's not true. Jackie made me watch one of those Bushido movies last week, and I just don't get it. Anyway. It's Elizabeth Bennet. Don't look at me--What's the next question?
.ೃ࿔*:・ NUMBER OF BLANKETS YOU SLEEP WITH?
Just a sheet and comforter.
.ೃ࿔*:・ RANDOM FACT?
Oh, no, don't put me on the spot like this! [laughs] Um, okay, I shot my first firearm when I was about 7. Under intense adult supervision--My dad was really serious about self-defense and the right to bear arms, which always surprised people because he came across as such a meek science nerd. I didn't like it--It was so loud, even with earmuffs. Funny how things change.
Is that kind of a heavy note to leave on? [laughs again] Okay, how about this one: I can't roll my tongue.
#fem v#female v#fem v friday#oc: valerie v powell#g: cyberpunk 2077#long post#so the fave character one really confounded me bc who the fuck are fictional characters in this world lmao#and then i was like well we could go classic lit since that still exists#and valerie was a bit of a book nerd when she was younger#and i was like omg valerie is 100% a closet romantic we gotta go austen#and the gender and orientation ones stumped me a bit too bc i just really don't think these would be seen the same way as they are irl#i think valerie would find both questions kind of odd#this was a lot of fun to do though#and the nickname thing was a bit of fun projection from my own irritation at acquaintances calling me a shortened version of my name#that i dont like lmao
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ughhh thinking back on the original atla and lok by association reminds me of how much the writers of these shows just... cannot write a good romance.
#the romance is the worst part of both these shows tbh#embodies everything i cannot stand about romance stories - unequal dynamics/character flattening/no 'together' dynamic#/weird ooc things/the romantic partner being prioritized at detriment to the friends/direct conflict of story themes/etc#ugh.#it's just. not good. lok was a slog for me in certain parts because of the stupid love triangle/cheating thing#sure sure they're messy teenagers but. i felt no romantic tension. it was just irritating.#what was mako's purpose anyways???????#also i hate the ship war surrounding katara#what if katara just did cool stuff on her own for a bit. what if she didn't have to be romanced at the end.#what if we examined the bloodbending more closely. what about her kindness contrasted with her rage. what about what she wants.#can we focus on that. please.#storyrambles#sorry for negativity on main i just. ughhhhhhh
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I want to delete my account.... disappear for a bit........ but I WON'T I WON'T I WON'T I PROMISE
#💭 — ⌗nervo rambles . ★#I'm my worst enemy atp HAHA#Idk a fresh start does SOUND nice#but this user is like. mine#it's ME#my identity if you will#and I also have a lot of memories here and while it is a messy account (which bugs me..... I wanna clean it out so bad but it's HARD)#and I'm going to see family on Thursday and we're coming home Sunday I believe#which is rlly cool bc I don't see those family members a lot#but my mental exhaustion..... It's tiring to interact irl#and online interaction is a lot easier for me personally#aaaand ik I'll probably get irritated a lot get frustrated lock myself away bc of that all#you get the point#my thoughts also say that if I were to disappear here it'd take a bit for ppl to notice/they wouldn't care that I'm not on the platform any#BUT IK IT'S NOT TRUE#I seek validation too much I'm gonna be completely honest#I want to know ppl would miss me I want to know I make a difference here but yk#my account always dies for a bit when I'm on some kind of break 💔💔#I was abt to get wayyy too deep there HELP#yeah probably gonna delete this list in a few hrs I always cringe at them later on bc of the stuff I say in tags#I'm too much of a yapper and share too much online#but nobody sees anyways#and me saying that stuff makes me call myself an attention seeker istg 💀💀#sorry guys 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏#I'm trying to make this humorous and not too serious 😞😞
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one of the new girls at me job all she ever talks about is her boyfriend or losing weight... i do like her sometimes & regardless dont want to burn any bridges with someone i have to spend most days a week with but god does she make it difficult...
#shes already tiny & skinny & kind of does have the loser virgin vibes that people are always surprised to hear she has a boyfriend...#so it is more like shes trying to seem like something than this is genuinely her...#she also has been shifting her accent a bit lately... saying her rrrs which is odd because shes from cambridgeshire......#very tiktokified seeming too#she invited me to go out with her friends the other day i felt so bad that shed been irritating me all day...#actually wouldve gone but had 1% no charger & working the next day...
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love your writing, you're extremely talented but you bounce from fandom to fandom a bit too often
that's what the nature of multi muse blogs are unfortunately. i really don't know what else to say. i even added a rule about this to give everyone a heads up since some people aren't aware of the fact. right now my fixation is bg3 because i'm playing it and astarion is here to stay. if that upsets or annoys you, you can unfollow anytime ! maybe multi muse blogs aren't for you because for some people it isn't. just cater your own space to what you like and what you don't like. i'm not forcing you to stay. :)
#i'm sorry if i come off a bit irritated but it's#frustrating sometimes because in the end#this is my blog and i'm just doing what i want to do on it#i'm not going to cater to the likes and dislikes of others#if you don't like it unfollow or don't follow at all#simple and easy#also i find it kind of rude because following the complaint up#with a compliment is kind of.... it negates the compliment for me#i have a variety of interests so if you don't like it#the soft block or block button is right there ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#* ⟢ 𝐎𝐎𝐂 ━ ( clench your asshole super tight & scream it from your heart )
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it's me and all the women in literature described in despondent unhappiness in a marriage that they don't hate but don't enjoy as they should and who feel as if they're not the way a woman should be and who yearn to be free of their husband and children not because they despise them but because they're not for a husband and children and who can't say that they're miserable but who feel a numb kind of despair in all that disconnectedness and disconnectedness and disconnectedness. they are just like me for real
#we have the same kind of depression 👍 but also. i can see so clearly that that's the way i would be if i still thought i was a girl.#and i had grown up to get married to someone and tried to be a woman and a mother like that. god...#edna pontellier hold on. i'm going out into the sea with you. we'll drown together.#laura brown from the hours on my kin list 👍#need to reread the hours so bad. opened up my copy of it to check if laura had killed herself at the end or not for this post#and just skimming the last few chapters made me tear up. god. but there are still the hours aren't there? one and then another...#and then you get through that one and then my god there's another...#um. books that make you go 'okay so maybe i have wanted to kill myself a little bit all these years. but maybe i'm going to be okay'#the book ever honestly it is Everything to me#and kate chopin's the awakening is good as well. much to be said about the depiction of people of color in that novel#but the depiction of edna pontellier's mental state is so. ough.#glances at the ratings on goodreads nd stuff have made me so irritated.#god forbid a woman commit the ultimate selfish sin of leaving her children behind because she's so miserable by killing herself.#because far worse than the thought that she could be losing all her personhood moment by moment#and wasting her life away feeling like a shell of a person#pales. in comparison to the thought that she could POSSIBLY abandon the children she didn't really want to have.#of course it's a bad situation for the kids. sorry to raoul and etienne. but they will survive.#condemning the main character for having the audacity to go off and die... sickening. i hate people#valentine notes
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Just saw a Twitter thread where the right-wing/terfy population discuss how ugly and inherently unsexy DT is, in Rivals and in general. Several days ago saw a DW fan space thread where they discuss how ugly and inherently unsexy DT is, in Rivals and in general. Not the first time I see terfs and certain segments of Doctor Who fandom united in hating this one particular person... Just felt like sharing so I'm not the only one suffering from godless Twitter overdose.
don't worry even though i blocked/muted these people i still see screenshots of them being stupid. like iceberg floating by. so ik what youre talking about. the funniest thing abt this is that i also think tony baddhingham is unappealing and unsexy on purpose (especially if you compare him to the other two male leads) (he's all ugly sharp lines) (stellar character design!) and that's part of what makes him such a great character and what makes david's performance so amazing. but the stupidest people on doctor who twitter are like "he's so ugly and also he's playing a bad person which means he must be a bad person in real life". ?? deeply worrying that they hate dt enough that they'd align themselves with terfs over like. Having morals also
#the dt hate ive seen on dw twitter is so stupid bro it's so transparently obvious that they're#jealous that his era of the show is the most popular and taking it out on the guy himself#and like coming up with such nothing reasons to hate him#you will not catch me actively getting into the trenches to defend celebrities but i really don't think david has done anything to#deserve any of the vitriol that gets directed his way??? like????? hello????? What#i respect him for being a great actor but also (along w his wife) being politically active and using his platform#i have a few other fav actors but they're not nearly to the same level as he is in terms of using their voice/power/influence for good#and he is Several times less rich than them on top of that#also he would still be my favorite actor objectively if i didn't know abt him being a really nice person/#using his platform for good/etc but that's just kind of icing on the cake yk. and it irritates me to see him being dragged for no reason#like i do not get irritated at rdj slander for instance. i think he is a stellar actor but he is also a bit problematic in a few ways lol#not the case for david literally what the hell did he even do
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when i died god said you wont go to hell youll be a girl-adjacent Sex Alter in a transmasc system
#sys#system posting#plural#i love our transness. dont love peoples general discomfort and inability to incorporate he AND she into their vocabularies#i love our transness i love our collective bigenderism i wish people could be normal about it#i dont need them to see me i dont need them to respect me i dont need them to get it. but i DO get irritated when they dont#u kno????#like im trying so hard not to get upset abt it anymore but all i hear is he he he he sir sir sir sir boy boy boy boy when im out#when the masc fronters r out in the world tho its a lot of she she she she maam maam maam maam#wish we could swap places but i am not one to go in public and interact w ppl like the mascs in my system r 💀#its sick ans its twisted but at least we are a hot beautiful quilt of transgenderism#stazi speaks#i think im rocking w the demigirl label a little bit bc im definitely a girl of some kind but w a lil xtra smthing
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#sometimes I wish drawing wasn't such a lonely activity#am in a bit of a social mood but can't find anything to socialize about#i also wish I didn't need to spend ALL DAY trying to prep my brain to try to draw; despite it being something I wanna do and enjoy#why must i have executive dysfunction over my hobbies#this is why it takes me one million years to something I can actually get done in a few days at most#i'm so incredibly frustrated and it's super depressing and bumming me out#it's just so frustrating and i'm so irritated at myself#i know it's shark week so maybe it's why i'm a bit of a mess; but usually it doesn't affect me during the time so idk#also i love how every night I get to deal with the crippling dread and lowkey anxiety attacks bc everything i'm avoiding/afraid of and it-#- keeps festering in my mind and makes me avoid sleep for as long as possible and i'm stuck in an eternal negative feedback loop#i can't even do the thing i enjoy bc my brain is making it hard for me#not to mention that I constantly get those thoughts about how i'm never getting anywhere in life and i am in fact; ALONE#no irl friends or family and it still scares me to think about how worse things will get in the future for me.#not to mention not having a career or being capable of doing any kind of secondary schooling makes the dread even worse#but again frustrated and i can't even apply positive activities like how I'd usually do; not to mention i'm just always mad at myself about#-everything lmao#stupid brain just let me enjoy me hobby bc i wanna do it and you're not letting me and it's making me feel worse#delete later probably idk lmao
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got a new coworker recently and she’s clearly used to offices where people talk about life outside work, which is very much not the vibe here. she’s developed a habit of occasionally coming into my workspace, pulling up a chair, and saying stuff like ‘I feel like I haven’t asked you how you’re doing in forever!’ and generally trying to force small talk and personal conversation in a way I haven’t seen before and thus don’t know what to do with. I’m on the verge of being very pointedly rude to her to get her to stop because she is not getting the hint.
#like yeah social conventions are weird bullshit and I can hardly fault her for missing my attempts at signaling disinterest#but like girl. leave me the fuck alone. stop cornering me in my workspace. i am a coworker not a friend.#she’s also in her 40s and there’s an air of anxious condescension that irritates me a bit irrationally#the kind of person you have to be very gentle with or they get scared#which is just a personal quirk and entirely fine!#i am just not good at handling that bc i was raised to be polite but direct and efficient#so it goes against my instincts which is a me problem
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NEGATIVE TRAITS
bold for always, italics for often and/or depending on the situation, strikethrough for never.
aggressive | arrogant | authoritarian | bitter | brutal | callous | careless | cold/cold-hearted | compulsive | controlling | corrects others constantly | cowardly | critical | cruel | delusional | demanding | disillusioned | domineering | envious | emotionally stunted | greedy | grim | guarded | hard | harsh | hypocritical | impatient | impolite | intimidating | irritable | kidnapper | lazy | liar | lustful | manipulative | materialistic | mean | merciless | messianic | mistrusting | murderer | narrow-minded | obsessive | opinionated | over-bearing | over-critical | over-emotional | over-thinking | patronizing | proud | remote | repressed | rigid | rules with an iron fist | ruthless | sarcastic | self-righteous | self-indulgent | serial killer | taciturn | torturer | touchy | traitorous | unsympathetic | unpredictable | uptight | vain | vengeful
tagged by: @twcfaces (thank you, friend!!)
tagging: @hexsreality, @question-marked, @divingdownthehole, @sifonie, @smilingmxsk, and whoever else might want to take this quiz!
#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#YOUR NEED GREW TEETH: character study.#rp memes.#OOH... this rp meme really made me expose barton even more than i already do on a daily basis huh ☠️ JSJS LOL#man's is a a known hypocrite emotionally stunted aggressive irritable a SERIAL KILLER... and also delusional + more#which admittedly made me kind of scared that he was about to be the whole board BUT even he isn't completely evil jsjsj#he's got... a teensy eensy bit of humanity in there somewhere. deep DEEP down
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PinkBlueSpam anon I am still thinking of you *blows you a kiss 💕*
#I am also feeling a mite impulsive atm so here have a kind of cleaned art of they#WIP#Deltarune#Pink Addison#Spamton#Blue Addison#I have made two separate minis about this idea now and I don't know which one to go with lol#Ngl I am strongly considering a stream in the near-ish future maybe that will get me to sit down and focus and pick one lol#The paper version turned out way longer and therefore goes a little more in depth on the dynamics but hrmmnnn#I'm irritated with how long I spend on digital in general but also this one specifically only to end up scrapping it lol#I need more practice! Rather I need practice on the committing part#I'm a machine during Requestober but that's because there's a time limit :/ My own projects aren't so lucky#I have - so many scratch comics that have been wasting away in the backlog for literal months hhhhh#Drawing on paper is so much faster but then there's the Editing and just jfkdlsafdsfsd#Don't mind me lol I just want to make way faster than my skill allows - I want to be fast /and/ pretty but I gotta pick one >:0 Rude!#Doesn't stop me from thinking about it A Bunch lol#They've crossed my radar again and if it weren't for all the Editing in my backlog I'd be drawing them So Much#Hhhhhhhhhhh where are the corners I can cut what can I do to just Make a bit more and spend a little less time on the Prettifying#I just wanna make!!! Til it's all out of my head!!! All of it!!!
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