#with a compliment is kind of.... it negates the compliment for me

[insurged]

love your writing, you're extremely talented but you bounce from fandom to fandom a bit too often

that's what the nature of multi muse blogs are unfortunately. i really don't know what else to say. i even added a rule about this to give everyone a heads up since some people aren't aware of the fact. right now my fixation is bg3 because i'm playing it and astarion is here to stay. if that upsets or annoys you, you can unfollow anytime ! maybe multi muse blogs aren't for you because for some people it isn't. just cater your own space to what you like and what you don't like. i'm not forcing you to stay. :)

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Yandere Fae King ////// Flawed Love

All too often there are the stories of fae who despise humans, coming to love a single human who negates everything they've believed. But what about a fae who doesn't hate humans? In fact, he adores them having a whole wing of the castle dedicated to the transmogrified humans he so lovingly collects protects. Samaritans, scholars, and kind people alike lived to chat and entertain the immortal king.

But the Fae King likes to wander. To look at the ever-changing human populace with admiration. He's learned by now that his humans at home are just as entertaining as the ones he sees on the outside. That he shouldn't snatch every human who interests him a little, especially when he's been doing so well (he's on a streak of 5 decades!) There's just one human he's willing to break his hard-earned streak for.

"Ew who would bring their kids to this stinky place!?"

"My Dad, (Y/n) he's also the one who owns the cabin we're going to."

"Well, it better have some AC or I'll be having words with him!"

You, the absolute opposite of the kindhearted tree-hugging protagonist are the hardened city-kid with an eternal sneer. Many who know you will question if you'd kick a puppy that was too loud or not cute enough...and the answer is that you wouldn't because it’d dirty your seasonal Birkin boots. And somehow the human-loving Fae is obsessed.

"Your majesty this is the human you've been drooling over?"

"Yes! Aren't they lovely?"

"They're something."

Fae King doesn't care if the group you're with burst out laughing when he proclaims his love. After he unintentionally terrorized them all with the oddly acting animals and the branches grabbing at them on their journey. It takes a lot for all they've been through to laugh in the face of being responsible. 

"Did you think I was joking? Is that why you're laughing?" 

"Nah man we're laughing because it's them you like!"

"Yeah, if you're a masochist who wants to die alone!"

Despite the usually jovial nature of the Fae King and general goodwill to humanity, he does have an especially morbid sense of justice. Along with his occasional forgetfulness as King of the Fae he was able to spell those he fought with thoughts alone. But that has nothing at all to do with this particular situation as he promises you he has no idea why your friends are still laughing.

"I promise my love, I have no idea why they keep laughing!"

"Its probably because you said something stupid."

" My Venus--"

"Ew and stop with the nicknames it makes you sound like an incel."

"Whats an incel?"

Because you are who you are the Fae King will know all he has to say for you to join him is jewels and diamonds. Never before has he been so willing to lie about what he could do for you if you gave him a sliver of your attention. It doesn’t get any better when you do catch him in a lie.

“Wait! (Y/n) please don’t leave me–!”

Slap

“You idiot! Did you think I’d stick around if you weren’t putting me up in the best hotel? Unbelievable.”

“My bedroom!”

“What?”

“The King’s Master Suite is three times the size of these rooms…will that make you happy?”

“Hmmm…but only for a night.”

“Yes! Thank the stars I’ll carry your bags up for you!”

“As you should. Now lead the way.”

“Gladly!”

Turns out the benevolent, human-loving Fae King is quite fond of your harsh treatment. More than willing to tear century-old curtains because you scrunched your nose at them. Letting you wear the crown on his head because you complimented him. Everyone is aghast at how far the Fae King is willing to go just for you.

“Your majesty, can I ask why you like…that human?”

“Why? Because I do of course!”

“But don’t you prefer the other humans you have? The ones with kind hearts and compassionate morals?”

“My love has their flaws but nothing gets in the way of true love!”

[ghostgirl-22]

i think art identifies as totally 100% straight but squirms whenever he gets the slightest bit of male attention, and patrick is just waiting for the realization to hit him (and maybe trying to help him realize it, in his own way)

Poor baby— he’s so lost <3

CW:18+

—-

Art thinks he’s straight and that’s fine. Patrick’s not gonna argue his sexuality with him. He sees things in black and white. In his mind there’s straight and there’s gay and that’s it. They’re lying in bed one night watching a gay episode of Date My Mom on MTV and Art’s made up his mind. “I couldn’t even imagine it honestly, I’m just so attracted to women,” he explains matter of factly. As if one negates the other.

Patrick’s actually coming around to the fact that he, himself, probably likes both.

One too many nights spent jerking it while thinking about Art stepping out of the foggy bathroom, towel sitting low on his glistening waist, wet curls in his eyes. Art bent over in front of him on the tennis court while they’re in the middle of a doubles match. Art sitting across from him on his bed, legs spread wide, skin flushed, hands shoved down his pants moaning while they watch the Mummy on TV and perv over Rachel Weisz (and Patrick secretly on Brandon Fraser). Either way he’s starting to realize he likes at least one boy. A lot.

The reason he thinks Art is a repressed little liar is because of how squirmy he gets when boys flirt with him. Boarding school is so weird. They’re with boys all the time. The girls dorms are on the other side of the school and there’s something about being all cooped up together, sweaty and close, hormones going crazy that’s led to some… experimentation.

And plenty of boys want to experiment with Art. He’s blue eyed, easy to blush, long brown lashes, pretty smile, and the perfect little slutty waist. Of course he gets all kinds of male attention and he absolutely falls apart every time.

The flirting could be a little or a lot. It doesn’t matter… Art gets silly for it. Little compliments and he’s sitting on his hands, grinning too much. A bit of teasing and flirting and he’s giggling when things aren’t even funny. Fucking giggling.

Patrick’s present for a lot of it. Boys teasing him during gym class snapping at his waistband, the kind of immature grade school teasing like pulling on a girls braids repeatedly because you just want her to notice you. All that before they start calling him pretty boy and asking what color his underwear is and he really gets antsy. Then by the end of class there’s Art, cheeks pink, eyes bright. And he’s letting them take turns looking down his pants to see the color for themselves.

The little games of footsie with Sammy Kline under the table in the cafeteria. Art acting like it’s not flirting but they’re going back and forth all period, exchanging glances. Art’s all antsy, sucking on his spoon by the time lunch is over. And Patrick accidentally walks in on Sammy touching himself in an empty bathroom right after.

Or when Art is play wrestling with Jamal Butler after practice and he squeezes Art’s thigh just under his knee because he’s so ticklish there and Art is giggling and kicking and whining “stop it.” Breathless and airy, his weight settled on Jamal’s chest. Patrick tightened his grip on his phone, thinking Jamal would try to kiss him but Art pushed him down and grinned all flushed. “I beat you.”

Jamal playfully messes with Arts hair when they get to their feet and Patrick notices the way Art shivers for it. When Jamal leaves to get dressed Patrick is also aware when Art needs to adjust himself, just the slightest bit.

Art’s not just oblivious to the fact that what they’re doing is flirting, he’s oblivious to his own flirting.

He doesn’t think it’s flirting when he lets boys give him little things. An extra orange juice at breakfast. (“Please, can I have it? I’m still really, really thirsty.”) A candy bar from the vending machine. (“I’ll marry you if you get me a snickers right now.”) A hoodie to wear if he’s cold while they sit in the stands waiting for their match to start. (“I love you so much, I can’t believe I forgot mine.”) He’s always soft and tentative when he asks as if he can’t have whatever he fucking wants. As if boys don’t fall all over themselves for him.

Patrick’s probably in that category of flirting, giving Art everything… taking Art’s everything. Sharing cigarettes, drinks, food, clothes, a bed… everything he can.

Patrick’s actually obsessed with it. Can’t stop jerking himself off thinking about the ways Art gets all flustered around boys. Wiggling in his chair, bouncing his leg, wetting his lips, chewing on his thumb, on his clothes, on his pen… needs to put something in his mouth. These anxious little ticks. Art can’t name the feelings he’s feeling but Patrick knows what they are. They share the bedroom, he can hear it when Art’s touching. Knows he’s not really thinking about his girlfriend.

It’s with Patrick that boundaries consistently blur. Like the day when Jamal didn’t kiss him and his girlfriend was out of town and he’s crawling into Patrick’s bed asking him for help to practice so he can kiss her better. As if they don’t both know better.

And god forbid if Patrick points any of this out, or ever asks him about his behaviour. Art would laugh it off. He’d say Patrick is exaggerating and that those boys are just being friendly, they don’t want him. Besides it makes no sense because he has a girlfriend. But he’s still stuck in black and white… doesn’t really see all the colors of the rainbow yet.

Patrick finds it all amusing…one day it’ll hit him like a ton of bricks, like when he discovered it was okay to like both Nsync and the Backstreet Boys at the same time. Not that he’d ever really admit that he likes either but that’s a whole different story.

Patricks gonna be there to kiss him on that day too.

(Idk i wrote this on the clock I fear…sorry if it’s all a mess…but so is Art 😅)

[anoant-haikyuu-dump]

The hyperfixation demons are screeching at me to write a comprehensive list of all the reasons I like Fukutora, so today I present to you "Ant ignores their responsibilites and spends several paragraphs explaining why Fukutora is peak despite them having roughly 10 seconds of shared screen time"

1. Contrasting Personalities In general their personalities fit together really well— Fukunaga barely speaks while Tora exclusively shouts at max volume and can't stfu to save his life, Tora's overly-intense and takes everything way too seriously while Fukunaga's cracking jokes in the middle of important games, they're even literal opposites on the court as the two wing spikers. Their differences compliment each other perfectly and because of that I think they'd grow a lot being together, Fukunaga would learn to open up and Tora would mellow out. Another good contrast is how Tora's all about looking cool and standing out while Fukunaga tends to blend into the background, which leads into my next point...

2. MY ROMAN EMPIRE (aka chapter 309) I know it's only two pages out of a 33 chapter match but i dont care, this scene makes me feral. I read the manga after watching Dumpster Battle, so imagine my suprise when my two favorite losers had a moment THAT GOT CUT FROM THE FUCJIGN MOVIE (I'm still salty, it should've been a full season).

Anyways these pages rooted their way into my brain because they show that even though Fukunaga goes unnoticed by most people (both in-universe and by readers) Tora realizes how great he is, and not only respects his play style but views him as a rival on the same level as himself. One thing I appreciate about Tora is that despite him being the stereotypical "strong manly athlete" type he doesn't think his methods are the best or only way of doing things; Fukunaga scoring points without "big fanfare" is just as cool as the shit he and Tanaka pull off. The phrasing "that I hafta surpass" could even imply that Tora sees Fukunaga as more than an equal, as someone who's ahead of him since he doesn't need to be flashy or loud to do amazing stuff.

Look at his smile on page two, bro's just excited to have someone who motivates him to keep pushing himself. And as we've learned from Kagehina: what's gayer than a rivalry?? All in all I think it's sweet that Tora notcies his efforts and admires him when few others do. Side Note, I've seen a translation of these that call them "Nekoma's Wings" and I think that's a sick nickname.

3. Bi Tora and Internalized Homophobia I love a good internalized homophobia arc, and characters like Tora that center so much around girls and manliness are some of the most fun to explore them with imo. You could say he's one of the least likely characters in hq to be queer since he's THE woman-lover next to Tanaka and Noya (and Yachi) but that's what makes it interesting—his gay awakening would hit like a tsunami and send him into life-ruining bi panic for months, especially since he's already such a mess when it comes to romance. He gives me the vibes of someone who has no problem with other people being gay but struggles when it comes to himself since it clashes with his conception of what it means to "be a man" or whatever. My point is he'd have the most intense no homo phase to grace this earth and I think that's both super funny and compelling for his character.

Also as a bi person myself it's kind of frustrating how bisexuality is treated online sometimes. It's annoying when a person's queerness is negated the moment they show attraction for the opposite gender, so headcanoning a character like Tora as a bi while still being openly into women makes me happy.

4. The Stage Play They're so silly in the stageplay. Why is he dragging him around by the feet? Why are they screaming at Kenma? Why is he constantly bopping him on the head in the background? WHY IS HE SERVING FACE IN THE PROMO PICTURES? So silly.

(Ignore how blurry these are lol) 5. Ant's Little Sister Bias This is a me thing, I like ships where one party has an annoying little sister who bothers them, sue me. Its cute. Akane and Fukunaga could have the most adorable friendship if you believe.

6. They Match Each Others Energy My first post about them was me rambling about this so just read that, TDLR they're both energetic menaces who match each other's freak.

7. Kenma's Forced Third-Wheel Purgatory Putting Kenma in a situation where Kuroo's graduated and his closest remaining friends are dating and constantly forcing him to third-wheel is just about the evilest thing you could do to the guy. He may be one of my favorites but this is well-deserved punishment for his crimes.

8. Baffled x Baffling Another ship dynamic I like a lot is when one person is unabashedly weird and the other thinks they're a total freak... but likes them anyways. They don't know why they like them. They can't explain it to anyone. Whenever the person does more weird shit they're like "why tf do I like you." But even so they're whipped as hell. Anyways Tora barely understands a single thing Fukunaga does and I think that makes for a funny crush to have.

9. Fukunaga's "Current Concern" Don't have much to add here, it's just proof to me that they hang out idc. Like why are you concerned about what he wants?? Kinda gay dude. Big fan of Fukunaga whispering to him and Tora answering at full volume so other people hear a one-sided conversation.

10. These Fics Before I knew this ship was even a thing I stumbled on these fics while browsing the Fukunaga tag, that's what got the gears turning:

• My favorite one, third-year shenanigans • Peak, need to be signed in tho • College AU • This one is mostly gen Fukunaga but the few moments they have are perfect (also really fun Nekoma interactions overall)

11. Other Miscellaneous Thoughts • Both of them being public figures/lowkey famous in timeskip is cute, like imagine them being each others' biggest fan before they make it big.

• Chef x guy who eats a lot is peak fiction. In this case they both eat a lot. Their grocery bill is a horror story.

• I know it's because characters are usually grouped by year and Kenma ditches them to sit with Kuroo but they're always together in the stands, pretty gay if you ask me

• I hc Fukunaga as genderfluid so Tora still gets his chance to be a wife guy. Him and Tanaka ranting to each other while Kiyoko and Fukunaga drink tea in peaceful silence.

• I think Fukunaga's the type to enjoy people watching and Tora's always doing something dumb. Observing him like a little bug under a microscope

• They're both so silly looking, cartoony ahh designs. I just think they'd make a funny couple visually, they're so square and stick to me if that makes any sense lmaoo

If you got through this whole post you're a real one, thanks for reading to my brain dump. I think about them every day and need more people to understand the vision

[vibinginthedreamlands]

Another craft shirt painting! This one isn't an older one, admittedly. It's actually my newest. I spent a while working on the concept and hands and I'm rather proud of it, as well as just a really big fan of the source material.

Malevolent episode 43 chewed me up and then spat me back out so it's only fitting that I would have a collection of art ideas for it.

This one is based off of John's line when he's scared Arthur will truly and finally die: "Not like this."

Excuse the photo quality, I had to take it at a weird angle because of my light source.

Below the cut is just going to be a detail breakdown of it because I love symbolism and other such silliness.

So obviously we've got Arthur' heart, the thing that, if I'm being honest in my perception at least, John absolutely covets and in this image is attempting to protect. He's a little to late though.

Mostly! The Witches Rapier is going through the heart of the man he loves but if you see there are the other two items.

The one on the left is the speared tale of the creature in the Mines in the middle of season 3. John will not be in time to block this attack either but his hand still reaches out and is ready to provide aid and save his friend. (Some what representating the distance and disconnect between them in this season, after John's absence, Arthur's darkening morals, and John's greater lean toward personal morality.)

The one on the right is Kayne's dagger, the weapon Arthur used to try and kill himself with as to evade the King in Yellow. For this, John's hands are already around Arthur's heart (this being the same interaction where Arthur first admitted to loving John and therefore he has no need to yearn, for the man's heart is already his). In spite of this the dagger will either slip past his fingers or pierce through his flesh and still harm his friend, the same way John's sacrifice to the King did not negate the harm already done or that Arthur himself would inflict. But it matters. It matters that John defends him and in the end it will do him enough good that he survives long enough to broker a deal with the owner of that near fatal weapon.

The Rapier itself struck high and struck true, already having completed its gruesome deed long before John's hands even had a chance to move. And yet he reaches, hopes, strives to defend a dead man from harm even still.

Speaking of John's hands. There are two of them. This is obviously for piece symmatry but also I decided to personalize them as well.

I lean more toward the headcanon that John, if granted a physical body, would be POC.

For outlining the hands I used gold, *his* color as well as something that both compliments his skin tone and, imagery wise, contrasts against the slew of silver weapons leveled against them.

You, if anyone makes it down here, may have noticed that his pinky is an entirely different skin tone. That is correct and intentional! I've got a fun Lil headcanon that if John ever gets a body, specifically in some kind of ritual, he and Arthur would split ownership of their scars. So Arthur would have the cut on his throat as that was self inflicted, but John might have the gouge in his stomach because he was the one who sewed it up. With the pinky, Arthur wouldn't lose his wooden one, but because it happened *to* John, by Arthur, and as a shared decision, John's own pinky would be lighter, closer to scar tissue or Arthur's own skin color. This way they both have an off pinky in a way that matches, differs, and compliments.

Finally, I just picked the color yellow for his lettering. I thought about gold, because again, his color, but I didn't think it would stand out against the red enough (though the yellow might be a bit much itself lol). Additionally, because in 43 he tries to protect Arthur by calling up his KiY roots and the episode culminates in him accepting himself for who he is and wants to be, and allowing himself grace and full range of identity.

Anyways that's a lot for a 2" by 2" painting on a t-shirt but I enjoyed it and wanted to get the work and thoughts out there. If anyone made it this far, thanks! I hope you enjoyed my over analysis of my own work and thoughts on Harlan Guthrie's fabulous podcast lol.

I'll be painting more for sure and posting older pieces intermittently so there are going to be more of these in the world eventually.

[b-plot-butch]

Well, this ficlet is for @historyandqueershenanigans, who inspired me to finally write a little something based off of this post I made a bit ago. Thanks, Thyme!

“You’re brooding, Lucienne.”

Jerked from her reverie, Lucienne blinks and refocuses on Dream as they pace side by side en route to the throne room. “Oh—it’s nothing, my lord.”

“There is no ‘nothing’ where you are concerned.”

Lucienne knows a compliment when she hears one, and she smiles slightly. “Well, it’s maudlin, at least.”

Dream is silent in that way of his that pulls responses like magician’s scarves from those around him.

So Lucienne continues, “I was only thinking on the limitations of the human form I take now. When I was your raven, I…enjoyed perching on your shoulder as we went on our way toward meetings. This”—she gestures up and down the passageway—“reminds me of those times. It’s one of the things I miss,” she finishes quietly.

After another few steps, Dream says, “You always have the option to resume your avian shape.”

“I know. That wasn’t what I meant, not exactly. After all, feeling is such a different business in a human body. I only wish there could be a comparable position while in this form. That is all.”

She glances over at Dream and sees the thoughtful set of his mouth. Then he comes to a halt. “I believe that can be arranged.” And then he pivots, presenting his back to Lucienne.

Lucienne lifts an eyebrow. “My lord?”

Dream turns his head to regard her over his shoulder. “Lucienne,” he says, and she catches a flash of amusement in his fathomless eyes, “surely the librarian of the entire collective unconscious is familiar with the concept of a piggyback ride.”

Lucienne props one hand on her hip, incredulity and mirth bubbling up inside her. “You’re serious?”

“Whenever am I not?”

For a moment, Lucienne hesitates. Physical contact is not something Dream bandies with frivolously: every touch carries weight; every outstretched hand is the outcome of a deliberation. That Dream would offer her this—she knows it’s no flippant gesture. From Dream, this is a well-measured and considered action, his best effort to fulfill her wish and perhaps extend to her any comfort she might be seeking from him.

When Lucienne pauses, it is partly because she’s concerned with appearing undignified, yes, but more so because she wants to take the time to recognise in full what Dream’s offer is: a gift, a display of affection that is, for him, a shouted declaration.

So it is with a warm heart that Lucienne loops her arms over Dream’s thin shoulders and feels him hoist her legs around his hips. He takes a moment to settle her, check that she’s secure, before he continues down the passageway.

Lucienne has not pressed this close to him in some time. He smells good, as he always does, clean and strong, like a mountain spring. With a small, quick movement—ineffably birdlike—Lucienne tucks her nose into the curve of Dream’s neck and shoulder. His wild hair tickles the side of her face. His hands are solid beneath Lucienne’s knees and he was not wrong, actually—the sense of anchoring, of closeness and connection, is not dissimilar to what she felt as a raven riding on his shoulder. She attunes herself to his gait, lets the rocking soothe her.

“Well, this is very nice,” Lucienne remarks.

She can feel the pleased rumble of Dream’s response. “You think so? Good.”

The two of them are drawing near to the throne room. Only a short stretch of passageway remains, but Dream shows no indication of planning to set Lucienne down.

Alarmed, Lucienne says, “Surely you’re not going to carry me into the meeting like this!”

“Why should you concern yourself with what they think? They’re only a delegation from Glaumora. You care little for their kind.”

“Indeed so; their snobbery is astounding. But it might negate our professionalism.”

Dream is unable to shrug with Lucienne aboard, but she senses the spirit of it anyway. She sighs, and the sound turns into a reluctant chuckle. “Oh, if it doesn’t matter to you. They have different standards of physical contact, anyway.”

They are almost upon the door to the throne room when Lucienne says, “I want to thank you, my lord. For hearing me.” And holding me. Lucienne pauses for a moment then adds, softly, “Thank you, Dream.”

Lucienne uses Dream’s names in much the same way Dream handles his touches: always as a well-measured and considered action. Dream knows this quality of hers just as well as Lucienne knows his. His acknowledgment is wordless, only the gentle tap of one finger against her knee. It makes Lucienne smile.

She says, “Shall we go in?”

Dream adjusts her one final time; in his grasp, Lucienne always has been and always will be safe. “We shall. Will you open the door, please?”

Lucienne reaches forward and grasps the ornate handle, and, together, Lucienne and Dream enter the throne room.

[thekimspoblog]

Making a compliment/criticism sandwich for "Inscryption"'s final twist ending.

Criticism: The OLD_DATA is your classic example of mystery box writing. You make an audience work hard enough for a piece of information, they're going to be disappointed if the payoff feels picked at random.

Compliment: I wasn't able to guess the twist! When I initially started down the rabbit hole of "This video game hides a dark secret", I expected it to be one of three things - (a) absolutely nothing; the true horror was the time we wasted along a way, (b) a mind virus which is a pretty cliched concept for a horror video game at this point, or (c) some really tasteless drivel about child abuse. I WAS NOT EXPECTING HITLER! Granted, this sort of "Inglorious Bastards" style decontextualization of real-world tragedies is still a little tasteless, but this game gains massive points with me for at least being creative with the choice of shock value.

Criticism: The game still seems to be trying to have its cake and eat it too, in terms of whether the OLD_DATA is cursed. I don't think the found footage movie with Luke is very good; I get that it's cringey on purpose but I don't find the joke funny; to me it just subtracts from the atmosphere where those segments are SUPPOSED to be the part of the game most grounded in realism. It employs too many cliches I'm already sick of from creepypastas which were written over a decade ago. And while the secret of the OLD_DATA is cool and indeed dangerous, it would not drive someone to madness. I think the story is more interesting if we cut out the "King in Yellow" homages altogether.

Compliment: Like I said, "Nazi Bombs Under Berlin" was a good twist! That's such a more tangible threat than your run-of-the-mill Polybius clone. It makes perfect sense that this game about secret codes would have its final secret be a detonator created during an age of cryptographic warfare. It ties in well with the game's theme of how all information is useless without context. I don't like interpretations where the game itself is the doomsday device, because that's been done; it's a lot harder to falsify the claim that this game holds the KEY to a doomsday device. And that makes the danger a little scarier even though obviously fictional.

Criticism: The story of how the floppy disk ended up on Luke's desk makes no sense. Kaycee just did that thing characters in creepypastas always do, where instead of just destroy the stupid game when she had the chance, she gave it to someone else hoping they would do it for her. Why tho?!

Compliment: Not exactly a compliment so much as a negation of the previous criticism. This game's subplot utilizes mystery-box storytelling, but at the end of the day Daniel Mullins wasn't angling for any Pulitzers. ARGs are still a new art form, and maybe it's a low bar, but the fact that the treasure map lead to ANYTHING narratively satisfying still puts the game head-and-shoulders over tedium like "Who's Lila?". Personally I like the multimedia nature of ARGs in theory, but in practice they usually end up being too much work for little reward. But it seems like the people who did participate had fun, and now we all get to profit from the fruits of their labors.

Criticism: The steps to learn about the Nazi Bombs Under Berlin were still way too hard though. Deeply into "How TF was anybody supposed to get that?!" territory. I can only assume people dug into the game's code for some of these... which is kind of the point anyway, isn't it? "Manatee##" is especially where you've officially lost me. Inscryption is all about the violability of barriers, and for me, that riddle was the moment "Daniel Mullins" went from some name attached to this cool little artifact, to an AUTEUR who wanted me to notice him. And I hate auteurs.

Compliment: This is the main point I wanted to get to! The reason this game ultimately gets a thumbs up from me is that the story is not INCOMPLETE without the twist ending. I criticize a lot of indie games for using metafiction to distract from a lack of conventional narrative, but Inscryption fascinates me because it cleverly avoids that trap. Like "The King in Yellow", the point is not the contents of the forbidden knowledge. The point is the effect the forbidden knowledge has on the characters.

And maybe I'm just a sucker for a quadradiestic magic system, but I do like the characters and the ideas the surface-level story tells! Leshy and Magnificus have made peace with the inherent suffering of existence. PO3 wants an escape from the purgatory, but his idea of a greater purpose is really just to spread the misery. Grimora wants to end it all out of mercy, but really I think she's just a pessimist who has no right to project her desire for suicide onto everyone else. The chemistry between these four characters manages to say something interesting about the meaning of life. It's HELPFUL to understand what the Karnoffel Code is, so we can better understand why the characters did what they did, but you don't actually need that information to understand the events of the story.

There is something dangerous buried at the bottom of the game's software, and it's a nice touch how the difficulty accessing this power is symbolized by a literal sea of data. The four main bosses of the game's world had gained self-awareness through enough playthroughs, and are now stuck in a cycle of each one trying to remake the game in their own image. With each iteration of this struggle, the characters were getting more powerful and the situation was getting more and more out of hand, until eventually one of the four (implied to be the youngest) finally hacked the game so badly that it was able to breach containment onto the internet. Grimora tries to kill everyone including herself, to prevent whatever the dangerous thing is from falling into the wrong hands, but she's too slow and the game ended up in the Steam Store anyway. That's all you really need to know, and that's a plenty enough operatic story to sustain a three hour game.

Criticism: Even with all this laid out on the table, the stakes of this story don't make a whole lot of sense. I can see why Grimora would be worried the detonator could fall into the wrong hands, but if that's the case it's kind of a happy ending that the floppy disk was recovered by the authorities, wasn't it? As much as I distrust the FBI, it's not like they're going to use the Karnoffel Code to blow up Berlin. It sucks that Luke had to die (I wasn't very attached to him), but this probably means the bomb has been diffused. I mean if this story supposedly takes place in the real world, and last time I checked Berlin is still standing, then logically the largest crisis of the game's lore has already been averted by the time we started playing.

Compliment: This does just make the ending funnier/more interesting. If the Nazi Bombs Under Berlin have been located and dismantled by the government, then the Karnoffel Code is now a useless string of data that's just buried in a normal video game for no reason. Except the "normal" video game is still a glitchy old RPG, modified beyond recognition into a multiplayer online download, containing sentient characters trapped in a time loop.

And I'm just curious where we go from here; how the Scrybes are taking this turn of events. Leshy is probably happier than a pig in shit, to have thousands of new challengers flooding into his cabin every minute. PO3 is the only one who actually got what he wanted, but he's probably going to find out enslaving humanity from the comfort of the Steam Store is easier said than done, especially with the weapon neutralized. We don't really know Magnificus well enough to gauge his reaction, but I assume he's just relieved to not have been deleted. But what of Grimora? She was pretty excited that her misery was finally coming to a close, and now because the game is online, her suicide was not just prevented but made impossible. It's just so mean; I love it.

Criticism: Most players of this game won't get to ANY of this story, because Chapter 1 is just so damn difficult. I get that it serves a purpose, but come on man how many times are you going to make me fight this prospector?

[nikethestatue]

My pet peeve is when people say 'character X has never done anything wrong, ever'. (Insert Gwyn, Feyre, Mor, Lucien as the usual suspects)

And to me...it's not a compliment?

If a character's never done anything wrong, ever, then what is their depth? what is interesting about them? Either they are poorly written, because the author didn't think to give them dimension or traits that might be questionable, OR you read them through such rose-coloured glasses that you aren't being objective or critical.

Yeah, you can love them, but not acknowledging that characters are imperfect, that they've made bad decisions and done bad deeds doesn't necessarily negate their appeal. But arguing with others that 'no, they ARE perfect' is just silly. Trying to convince others that, I don't know, Lucien and Mor are without fault and everything they've done could be excused and every action of theirs is perfect, is kind of absurd and not serious at all. That somehow they deserve better and more than other characters because of their perceived 'goodness' is also ridiculous.

I'd say: fear perfect characters! They are either going to turn out pretty bad, will be forgotten or will be killed off.

[mikuyuuss]

How about two ships for that bingo game?

Akari x Giyuu? And then Mitsuri x Obanai? ^_^

The way you added Giyukari there 🩷🩷🙏🏻

Ofc I gotta check off everything positive about them, but Giyuu and Akari are more dorks than sexy tbh (love them for that though)

Akari is always meant to be her own character (and she still is) I created her back in 2019, and at that time, she didn't even have a love interest. It's only when it was canonically stated that Giyuu has a descendant, that I find myself fixating really hard at the possibility that Giyuu married someone and had kids, and then I remembered that I have a kny oc, and that's pretty much how I came up with the idea of intertwining Akari and Giyuu's story together. 🩷

Also maybe there's a part of me that wished Giyuu in canon had a "special someone" it's doesn't necessarily have to be romantic in a sense, but I just remember thinking how the Butterfly sisters, Shinazugawa bros and Obamitsu have eachother, Tengen has his wives, and Giyuu has Sabito and Tanjiro... except Sabito is long gone before the series even started and I always felt like there's more emphasis on Tanjiro and Rengoku's bond tbh.

I guess I just felt like Giyuu in canon has a sense of loneliness to him even after befriending people (maybe this is why he is so shippable-) BUT YEAH, it's why I wanted Akari to be Giyuu's friend. They can be each other's "special someone" :D Friends to Lovers dynamic!

As for Obamitsu well

Ok so I'll admit that Obamitsu isn't actually my fav pairing (it's pretty shallow really, I just don't find Obanai that hot enough fjsjsjsjsk) but still, I very much appreciate them, and they are fun to draw! I really like how they compliment each other. The idea of two people who find themselves to be unlovable and finding that love with each other, only except it's a little too late... I actually stumbled upon your post about obamitsu being a failed romance before, and I agree so much, thinking about the tragic aspect of their romance makes me sad :(

Overall I think their relationship is pretty well written. I know some might say that they lacked screentime, which is fair, but for me, it's the fact that even in such a short time, the story was able to show us why they mattered to eachother. Especially when I compare it to other shows where the main couple had tons of screentime and yet their chemistry is still lacking. I guess sometimes its still about quality over quantity kind of thing.

Also I don't think Mitsuri falling for Obanai negates her own character, it's more like they both complete each other's arcs. I feel that with obamitsu, you can appreciate them as a pair but you can also appreciate them as separate characters too!

Also they lowkey give me botw zelink vibes so its hard for me not to appreciate them. 🩷

[coldflasher]

Writer asks: 22, 33, 38

22. What is it about watching the same two idiots falling in love over and over again?

The question of a lifetime haha

When it comes to coldflash I think there's just something so compelling about their dynamic in terms of there being so many parallels there, and yet so many differences ("speed and cold are opposites" lives in my brain rent free honestly). It's quite challenging to get them to fit together when they have such different outlooks and, honestly, when Len specifically is so emotionally repressed that even getting him to confess his feelings is like pulling teeth, but again, Barry is so free with his emotions that it's another fascinating aspect of the contrast between them

Then there's also the fact that of course I adore them so much as individual characters and I love to explore how they tick individually as well as how they come together in a romantic context, there's so much interesting character work one can do when playing with these two, I could play in that sandbox all day

33. Give your writing a compliment.

Hnghhhh all right ngl I am squirming at this one a little bit because complimenting myself in any way does not come naturally to me at all, which is weird in this instance because I genuinely am very proud of my writing and I think it's good, but coming up with a specific compliment towards it is beyond my comfort zone. I will try...

.........

My writing has improved a lot in the past few years tbf, I think at one point I was a much stronger dialogue writer than I was at prose, as it comes more naturally to me, but I spend a lot more time focusing on crafting strong (and hopefully evocative) prose and descriptions these days, so I think the best compliment I can come up with is that I write nice prose and I like my writing style. I used to have two writing styles, one that was "mine" and then one I specifically crafted to get good grades in my writing classes, the second being a lot more stylized and literary, and I think now they've kind of merged into one more cohesive style that's accessible but also more descriptive, so yeah. That.

*Breaks out in hives* that was harder than it needed to be haha

38. “This never happened” fix-it fics or “this happened but” fix-it fics?

I am a giant sucker for a "this happened but". There is nothing I love more than being like "how can I twist this canon event in a way that makes it more fun/expands on missing potential/negates elements that frustrate me." There's a time and a place for ignoring certain events entirely (cough cough season 7 and most of 8, ain't no fixing whatever the fuck was going on there), but generally I really enjoy the challenge of taking what's already happened and seeing how I can make it work for me, whether that means twisting or subverting it or taking whatever bits I like, or just using it as a jumping-off point for my own stuff (damaged nerve, dark bird being a prime example; it's basically almost 100% canon compliant up until the point that barry returns from flashpoint).

Thank youuu :D

[enneamage]

psychologically i need to analyze the thought process behind wilbur saying “it’s scary you’re being too nice to me” and seemingly getting a bit. i don’t want to say flustered but idk another term for what i’m describing. over tommy negating the negative comments he kept making about himself with (admittedly over egregious to the point of being a bit sarcastic) compliments like. alright. is your self-image that bad, man? maybe tommy’s uphill battle is not for naught

I'm reviewing the footage with the line in mind and in that very particular instance he was giving a bit of Kareninnit brand "I'm strangely intense but im going to put it behind a compliment" sarcasm-passive agression. He was right to recoil at that one because Tommy did not mean it, he was just serving up some of his insult humor spun sideways.

This stream knocked me back to what was originally kind of wholesome about crimeboys, two troubled people somehow managing to make eachother less troubled.

Things I noted from this stream include:

"I've been in my room for two months now, I've gotten quite esoteric recently"

"I'm going on tour, do you have any advice for me?" "Don't." (^^ This was clearly a joke but it felt like a joke worth noting.)

+ Wilbur mentioning the part in the Tom Scott video where he talks about if you keep doing bigger and bigger projects you become a manager, which I've been saying he's predisposed to since the start of this blog.

[inventors-fair]

May of the Mechanism - March Madness Runners-Up

Raise the stakes in honor of this weeks’ runners-up: @deg99, @nine-effing-hells, and @squeezyboi!

Golden-Scale Flamespitter - @deg99 Flametongue Kavu is back! And it's more terrifying and Dinosaur-shaped than ever. While scaling nonplayer damage is definitely among the safer effects to put at low mana values, and while most of the rares in this set do seem a bit on the high end of the power scale, this thing definitely feels like it's toeing the line as far as Being A Fair Magic Card is concerned. Certainly, it can't get much more egregious than your average Nekrataal, but I am a little afraid of the potential tempo this could generate in constructed formats, never mind how many limited games it could probably win you. Regardless, it is a very interesting spin on the convoke scaling mechanic seen on a few other rares in the set, even if the numbers may or may not need renumbering slightly.

Sigilboon Hydra - @nine-effing-hells Moving on from powerful rares to similarly powerful mythics, we have this delightful friend from Alara. I adore the use of backup X on a Hydra, honestly, that's the main thing that grabbed me about this card in particular. Something about that space feels simultaneously so obvious and yet strangely unexplored yet still satisfying to see delivered upon. The thing that makes me quake in my boots (and what likely makes this an appropriate mythic for the set) is that the backup effectively gives this absolute beast secret haste and vigilance if you just happen to have another attacker available, although just getting to double up on your counters is also a more than viable option. All that said, Voracious Hydra tells me that this probably not too far off from where the card wants to be mana-value wise, so you're probably good there? Honestly this is just a nice, clean, simple card that still effortlessly manages to feel very mythic, and I feel I should commend you for that.

Invasion of Shenmeng // Ten Wizards' Wisdom - @squeezyboi This is another very interesting battle that I think understands well what kind of deck it wants to be in and what kind of payoff is worth taking time to flip the darn thing. A Negate that generates card advantage seems like it would be right at home in the right kind of blue aggro deck. Even if it would mean taking a turn or two off of pressuring your opponent in order to extract cards off of the Ten Wizards' Wisdom, the card advantage alone I feel more than makes up for the five life your opponent essentially gains when you play this. My only real gripes here are that you did not give the back face a type (I'm assuming enchantment but you very much did not specify) and also I'm really not sure what that white pip is doing in the mana cost. There doesn’t really seem to be anything especially white about this card, and I personally feel it would better compliment the kinds of decks it wants to exist in were it mono-blue. All that aside this seems like a very respectable use of the new type.

[solartranslations]

AF2 Dante Chapter 10 (1/11): Neve and Vir

Vir can’t find his beloved Neve. Teo is not at all amused at his behavior…

~*Scene: VF Mess Hall*~

Teo: Vir, why’s she here even though her friends aren’t around?

Vir: So I can watch Neve enjoy herself while talking to her, yes?

Teo: …Huh? That’s it?

Vir: Do I need another reason? Look at how well they get along

Teo: I can’t really tell from looking

Vir: Neve is so adorable now that she can have an honest conversation without reservations

Teo: Uhuh…

Teo: *stands up*

Felicita: These are good too

Neve: Thank you…

Felicita: …

Neve: …

Neve: *smile*

Felicita: You really do love Vir, don’t you, Neve?

Neve: …That was improper

Felicita: No, it’s fine

Felicita: But I guess, I still don’t understand Vir

Felicita: I do know that he cares a lot about you though

Neve: Really…? He treats me well, and I think my husband is quite trustworthy

Teo: You’re not the only one he cares about! Don’t get ahead of yourself

Neve: …I’m not

Teo: Huh!? You so are!

Neve: I am not. My husband spoils you too out of kindness. Like he would a child

(*mad) Teo: The hell!

Teo: You seriously think Vir spoils me!?

Neve: My husband can be like Agata at times. And it’s actually her you want to be spoiled by, yes?

Teo: That’s a lie! When have I ever said that!!

Neve: You’re just annoyed you can’t have my husband’s kindness all to yourself

Teo: …!!

Vir: …Come now…

Vir: I’d prefer if you two didn’t fight over me

Neve: Vir-sama

Teo: We weren’t actually arguing over you!

Teo: She was just bragging too much…!

Vir: I love both of you

Neve/Teo: …

Felicita: …

Vir: And of course, I do wish for Neve to bear my child

Neve: Vir-sama…!

Vir: I’m a little thirsty. Can you pour me something?

Neve: Okay

Teo: I can do it

Neve: No, I will

Teo: Just stay and sit next to your husband

Vir: I can have two drinks

Felicita: …I’m so done

Vir: Oh, really? This is an every day occurance for me

Felicita: If you care about them so much, why make them take the risk of contracting the Tarocco?

Vir: Because I’m confident I can protect them

Felicita: ……

Felicita: I was wondering

Vir: What?

Felicita: Neve used her powers on you. Where’s her punishment?

Vir: You have a good memory…likely because you’ve been subject to one

Felicita: Don’t mock me

Felicita: But I didn’t see anything happen to Neve. There was no change

Vir: What will you do with the answer?

Felicita: Maybe nothing. But as her friend, I may be able to help

Felicita: Or is it possible to negate a punishment?

Vir: Haha…if it was, why even call it that?

Vir: Her punishment has indeed been enacted

~*Flashback: Governor’s Mansion Bedroom*~

Vir: A punishment will befall any who use their Tarocco powers against me

Neve: A…punishment?

Neve: What exactly would mine be?

Vir: I don’t know for sure. It’s up to the Tarocco

Vir: But it will be related to your Tarocco’s power and what it stands for

Neve: Mine allows me to grant the wishes of others…

Neve: If one does befall me, then I want it to grant my wish

Vir: That wouldn’t make much of a punishment

Neve: Would it not?

Neve: Becoming like you and Teo, immortal and unchanging, wouldn’t be a punishment?

Neve: You both look so pained sometimes. Doesn’t it count as a punishment?

Vir: Neve…

Neve: …I know that I’m asking for too much…

Neve: But if I was like you, we could always be together…

~*End Flashback*~

Vir: She has become immortal like Teo and I

Felicita: What, how?

Vir: I don’t know. The Tarocco seems kind to women

Vir: It has granted her darkest wish

Felicita: I don’t get it…

Vir: Haha. What you can do, is to continue being her friend

Felicita: Of course I’ll stay her friend. But I still don’t agree with your actions

Felicita: You made her use her powers despite the punishment…

Vir: That just shows how important the Tarocco and “Agata” are to me

Felicita: You’re awful

Vir: Haha. I’ll take that as a compliment

Felicita: I wasn’t

Felicita: And I want you to stop treating Neve like a tool

Vir: Hm… you are certainly demanding

Vir: And unbelievable. Why do you think I do?

Felicita: Neve’s right in front of you, but you’re trying to protect something else you don’t have

Vir: ……

Vir: I’ll let that slide, since you’re saying it for Neve’s sake

Vir: But you should learn to watch yourself

Felicita: …

Neve: Vir, I brought you a caffe

(*clink)

Teo: Oh, thank you. And where’s Teo?

Neve: I came back first since he started arguing with Ash over apples in the kitchen

Felicita: Ash…

Vir: Haha. I’m glad Teo has made a friend too

Vir: I’ll start with this then

~*End of Scene*~

(Continue to Common Route January 14)

(Back to Directory)

[between2mysteries]

i’m gonna be honest i’m kind of terrified in a way i never have been before. i was scared about getting involved with my previous ex who was abusive but before things turned i still had a lot of confidence that it would turn out okay. things have been good so far with the person i’m currently with, but i’m really scared about miscalculating safety where there isn’t any like i did last time.

historically i’ve never been able to trust my judgement because any decision i’ve attempted to make for myself big or small has been viciously and vehemently questioned specifically by my mother. when i was 15 or 16, i wanted front bangs and we typically went to the salon together and when we got there and i told the hairstylist what i wanted my mom flipped out, yelled at me in public, and kept doubling down over and over how much of a mistake this was, that i was ruining my hair, that it was going to look bad etc etc….same thing when i dyed the ends of my hair blonde or when i wanted to wear pajama bottoms to chilli’s (lollll).

just ???? who does that. not just a simple unsolicited opinion but screaming at their daughter in public at the hair salon that front bangs are going to essentially ruin her life. it’s hilarious and also deeply sad i think. and all of this not only was normalized but i was consistently bought and sold on the idea of my mom and i being close and having a good relationship because that was the narrative she clung to and believed despite never making an effort to actualize said closeness & never attempting to know or understand me at any age, not just when i was a teenager. i wasn’t even given space to change my hair or wear the kind of clothes i wanted to without beratement and judgement.

i always secretly worry everyone hates me. that some cruel joke is being played on me when someone compliments me or says kind things about me. and while i cut and dyed my hair regardless, and formulated my own style despite her shit opinions; those criticisms and attempts to negate my autonomy/ agency left so much room for self doubt + compounded by the emotional abuse from last ex, i feel like my instincts are fried. i feel like i can’t trust myself deep down to make the right choice for myself about anything.

so yeah. i’m scared. i’m scared i’ll screw this up, i’m scared he’s going to hurt me. i’m scared of how much i like him already. but i’m working on all that and i guess that’s all i can do.

[andswarwrites]

Part of self care is caring for others.

Part of self care is caring for others.  If we make that little effort to show kindness, courtesy, generosity, hospitality, warmth: the resulting inner glow will reassure us that we have a reason to feel dignity and self-love.  We don't care for others with reciprocity as our aim, although a kind word often begets one in turn; if we compliment someone, chances are they will feel moved to tell us something they appreciate about us as well.  When we naturally, effortlessly show consideration to anyone we happen to meet, that is a key to caring for ourselves, because we are not basing our manners on how others treat us, rather we are taking the initiative, the first step, and when we do so we start to notice how we are brightening up the days and moments we share with others.

Forcing a smile isn't as effective as giving thought to an idea that might make us genuinely smile.  Just that smile that lights up our eyes gets an immediate response.  It might be a courier dropping off a delivery, it might be a cashier at a store, it might be a family member who needs a listening ear, it might be a friend who is having a rough time.  Letting our eyes speak as we speak, showing anyone that we care about their well-being, that will boost, not our ego, but our morale.  As I mentioned, there is an inner glow that comes from showing empathy, and it can be exhilarating.  We have to tread with caution, however, because it can sap strength to always be the one who is there for others.  Just like a caregiver needs someone to take care of them as well or they wear out, we need to be aware of our capacities and our boundaries.

The great thing about that capacity is that it just keeps growing.  Just like exponential growth and staggering multiplication, the more we show our love for other people, the more their response strengthens us and we feel moved to keep on.  Even the simplest gesture can make someone else's day, but also ours.  Egotism saps our strength a lot more than being aware of the needs of others.  On the other hand, we do need those boundaries that we naturally build up but so many of us feel shy about defending.  So many children are taught that their will is negated by their youth, not even taught that they have freedom of choice, just like everyone else, that they grow up to feel powerless or they react by taking on the entire world in their frustration.

In so many aspects of life, finding balance seems to be a recurring theme.  When I volunteered in an elementary school library, I observed the kids of all different ages who would come in to browse the shelves and take out a book or two.  I thought it was fun to see the independent, the self assured, the awkward, the chatty, the shy, the charismatic, the thoughtful, the cheerful.  I think my time in observation mode, waiting for those kids to check out their books, taught me to watch for the endless variety of personalities all around me, and I think I'm still the librarian, bestowing on strangers an encouraging smile, wanting to make a connection with this human being and let them take something out from the exchange, which will cost them nothing nor I, and in this case we're not talking about a book, we're just talking about a brief glimpse of kindness.

[golbrocklovely]

A weird advice ask, I'm sorry if this isn't the kind of thing you like but your older and wiser. How do you deal with social pressure? Like I'm in school and I'm a bit weird I guess which makes me stand out so in the past my classmates would bully me for being weird. So now I try to fit in with the social norms for fear of being bullied, but it's so exhausting and I just want to be me but I don't know how to be me if that makes sense? Do you have any advice on how to deal with this situation?

okay this is a long answer, so sorry about that in advance.

i'm not sure how young you are, but i'm gonna guess you're in high school. i'll tell you right now, the main thing to remember is that all the shit you're going thru is not important. all the things you worry about right now are gonna be something you laugh about someday. i know that's hard to realize in this moment, but as someone who's been out of high school for 10 years now, seriously - none of it matters. even the most embarassing parts are just something i roll my eyes at now. this doesn't negate how you feel currently tho. it's just something to realize if you start to get overwhelmed by it all.

regardless of this, to answer your question of how to deal with social norms, it's a bit of a complex issue. i think you realizing that you don't want to act like this anymore, or fake being someone you're not, is already a great start. not a lot of ppl would be able to admit that. idk what exact social norm you feel like you're being forced to do, but i'll give the two major ones i can think of off the top of my head.

first, since you said you don't know how to be yourself, i think your first step is take some time and write out down all the things you like. and i mean as many as you can think of. all the forms of media you consume, all the hobbies that you have, random niche things - doesn't matter, write it down. hell, even the guilty pleasures you have (like me back when i pretended i didn't like taylor swift in hs but that was also bc i was a jonas brothers fan lol). this list is for you only, so be as honest as you can be. remove all the judgements in your head and what other ppl would say if you liked these things, and just say to yourself "if i like it, it goes on the list." then once you've done that, write out all the things you like about yourself. i know that might be hard to do, bc maybe you feel like there isn't much there, but seriously - anything goes. maybe it's your laugh, maybe it's your eye color, maybe it's the way you're really good at doing math equations, maybe it's the way you treat other ppl - whatever it is, write it down. and don't be embarrassed if it's something really weird or something that would actually be seen as a compliment to yourself. first off, it's fine to be complimentary to yourself, but also who cares? this is for your eyes only.

this also means even writing out things you used to like about yourself that others made you insecure about. like, i have a loud laugh, and i've had ppl in the past tell me in a negative way that my laugh was too much…. i still very much like my laugh, regardless of how others feel about it. but there was a period of time that i didn't. if you have something like that, write it down too.

now that everything is physically laid out, you can now see all the things you truly like. so, if for argument's sake, you were pretending to like a certain artist bc others liked them, you can now look at the list and be like "you know what? i don't really like them. i'm not gonna pretend to like them." or maybe you realize you do like them, you just pretended to like them at first. and that's fine too. there's nothing wrong with liking niche things or mainstream things. if, for example, you like an anime that no one has ever heard of, realistically there are MILLIONS of ppl that watch that same anime. the only difference is none of them live in your town. the main thing to remember is you aren't an outlier as much as others make you feel. there are tons of ppl like you that feel the same way, act similarily, and like the same things as you.

now, if the social norms being placed on you are more about sex/dating/drugs/drinking, then this is how to navigate that: i was and still am a straight edge. ever since i was young, i never cared about drinking or partying or any of that stuff really. i was lucky enough to have friends that were in the same boat as me. not only that, we were all mega virgins in hs lol none of us ever were pressured by each other to do anything we didn't want to. if you have friends that are making you feel uncomfortable like that, cut them out. i'm telling you, there is no reason to be friends with ppl that will not accept your boundaries. they are no friends of yours bc they don't have your best interest in mind.

speaking of, know your hard limits. i know it might be weird or embarrassing to set boundaries (especially if you were like me - a walking floor mat), but in the long run it's better to have said no then regret saying yes. it's as simple as knowing you're not ready for that experience. if you know deep down you don't want whatever it is, say no. there is no harm in it, especially if you have even a slight suspicion that something is off or just you not being ready for it.

(sidenote, you can always just lie if it will get ppl off your case. if you're at a party, and someone offers you something and you don't want it, but they keep pushing - you can just lie to get them to back off. say "oh i can't drink. last time i did i puked everywhere." and then go into very vivid detail if you must. or if someone offers you weed, since most likely that would be the drug of choice in hs, just say "oh last time i smoked i got super paranoid so i don't want to be a buzzkill". if you make it seem like you're gonna ruin the vibe of the ppl that want to party, they will most likely back off. of course you don't have to do it this way, just saying "no thanks i'm good" will most likely suffice.)

when i was in hs, i didn't date. i wanted to, but i didn't. same as in college. i don't look back on that time and regret not doing that. i did for a while, but for the most part i'm glad i waited. i geniunely didn't like myself at all, and i know now that if i had dated back then i would have settled for anything. aka i would have dated the douchiest guys ever. my track record of crushes/loves kinda proves that lol i didn't have my first kiss until i was 17, i didn't drink until i was of age (21), and i've never done any form of drugs. i'm telling you right now, i missed out on nothing. i'm still very much like all my peers, the only difference is i might have kept a couple more brain cells from not drinking at such a young age. also, i wasn't the only one that was like this.

idk how bad the bullying is for you, and i know how bad bully can be (since i got bullied so bad in middle school i almost ended my own life) so if it's anything remotely like that, please tell someone. don't be like me and wait until you're at your breaking point. if it's just dumb teasing or looks or whatever, and you don't want to go down the route of telling someone about it, here's something to think about: who are you trying to impress by acting the way you do? look at the ppl you are impressing by pretending to be something you're not. are they just the bullies? bc if so, why do you listen to them? they aren't anyone important in your life, you shouldn't let them affect you like they are. i know that's easier said then done, but you have to grow a thick skin to let go and be yourself. once you realize that their opinions don't matter AT ALL, you will feel so free.

and if you're acting a certain way bc there are ppl in your life you want to impress - like friends or other peers you want to be close to - you need to understand that someone that will be your best friend or your confidant is someone that will love you for you. you won't have to be someone you're not around them. so it leads to the same conclusion of don't listen to them and stop being their friend.

if you're doing it for self peservantion, that's okay. it takes a lot of courage to stand up for yourself. but clearly you don't like it, so changing has to occur. it won't be easy, and it might take a lot of time, but it will be worth it in the long run.

knowing who you are at your core is a strength that not many ppl succeed at. some don't like thinking about it bc they're afraid of what they might uncover or realize about themselves. but honestly, you will be miles ahead of your peers if you know what you like and stick by it. if you know who you are truly, all anyone can tell you is who you're not.

i hope this helps you ! if you need anything else, please reach out again. if no one has told you, i'm so proud of you for taking these first steps and wanting to change <3 you got this !