#keep spinning in sydney

[edge-oftheworld]

happy birthday album of all time <3

[luveline]

Hi Jade ! I loove your sunshine!readers, could I request one for Carmy ? Maybe someone calls her to get to the restaurant when hes feeling anxious to calm him down idk if thats good lol love ya !

ty for requesting <3 fem, 1.4k

Is it The Beef or The Bear? In your head, despite the wishes of everyone who works there (except for Ebra, who seems to have mixed opinions), you always call it The Beef. But the sign brags otherwise, and when you push open the doors, nothing inside is left to remind you of the old restaurant. It was a total gut. 

“Hi, gorgeous,” says a familiar, warm voice. 

You almost walk straight into her table, distracted looking for brown curls through the kitchen door’s little window. “Hey, Tina.” You grin at your second favourite chef. Your most favourite Sous. “You taking a break?” 

She offers you a round butter cookie from a sleeve of them. Her cup of coffee billows with steam. “Uh-huh.” 

“Hiding from a meltdown?” you ask, taking a cookie, fingers oily with butter, sugar grains falling to the floor. 

“It’s not like that,” she says. 

Well, what is it like? you think. 

Richie’s text wasn’t exactly descriptive. Need ur help with the little Bitch, he’d said. Then, when you didn’t answer, ASAP!!!!

You figured it must’ve been another rant. He’s prone to these… episodes of anger where he doesn’t realise he’s spinning out and hurting people who really care about him. You try to bring him out of it, but he’s a Berzatto. They’re all the same, sort of. Everything that’s wrong with them has been stamped into them a long, long time ago. 

He’s been better since Nat steel armed him into AA, but still. You tilt your head to one side, sugar cookie between your fingers, listening for the goings on in the kitchen. “Sydney’s here?” you ask. “I thought she was sick.” 

“Sydney gets sick, but she doesn’t take sick days,” Tina says with a loving shrug. 

You smile at her in brief goodbye for now and make your way to the kitchen, where you push in quietly. All their ‘Behind!’ and ‘Corner!’ and ‘Hands!’ makes you laugh, and you can’t take it seriously so you don’t, but you’re not trying to be dangerous in there either. 

“Hello?” you ask. 

Sydney and Richie look up from a cramped notebook at the table nearest to the door. There are employees you're unsure of prepping vegetables along the wall, but Carmy isn’t anywhere to be seen. 

“Fucking finally,” Richie says, before rubbing his face regretfully. “I’m sorry, it’s just– I texted you an hour ago, babe, you’re letting me down.” 

You laugh. “Sorry, babe,” you tease. “I have a job, just like you.” Your hands are cold where you tuck them under each armpit, crossing your arms. “Hi, Sydney. You feeling okay?” 

“No. He’s stressing me out.” 

“Which one?” 

“Both of them.” She looks like she might rub her face too. “I need him to be in here right now, he should be doing this, but he keeps walking away and– and not saying where he’s going.” 

“He is stressful,” you agree, though usually Carmy’s stress tends to bounce right off of you, “I’m gonna find him and strap him down for you.” 

Sydney just frowns. 

“I’ll see what’s up,” you say more seriously. “In the office?” 

“Out the back,” Richie says. “Smoking like his mother. He’s a fucking steam train lately.” 

It’s like they want to worry you. You give them grateful nods, sorry nods, and start to make your way out of the main kitchen, past the dishwashers and the dessert station to one of the back doors. Carmy isn’t your responsibility. You don’t have to apologise for him, you don’t have to mother him, he should commit to his responsibilities all on his own, but… it’s hard. You like apologising for him because his behaviour isn’t always on purpose, and he struggles with commitment for similar reasons. There’s this aching, stagnated grief in him that’s reawakening, there’s the stress of the restaurant, his business, the scars of the last ten years, and before that. You know it isn’t your job to come here and make him feel better, but isn’t it? When you love someone, it’s half the deal. 

Carmy shouldn’t yell at his friends, or employees. He shouldn’t chain smoke, and he shouldn’t be sitting on the low wall by the dumpsters shaking so hard with his head so low that you can see the first notch of his spine in his shirt. 

“Carmy?” you ask. 

His head ducks further down. You can hear him breathing, not too hard as to alarm you, and yet unrelaxed. 

You smile without thinking. You hate seeing him like this, but looking after him is a pleasure. “Hey, Carmen. Can I sit with you?” 

He forces his face up. “What are you doing here?” he asks. 

Trying to make sure he doesn’t tear another chunk out of Richie. “It’s my lunch break.” 

You perch on the wall beside him and snap your nearly forgotten cookie into two pieces, one side bigger than the other, which you offer him. 

Carmy takes it. Looks at it without expression, though that slowly turns to a dry ire you’ve felt directed your way a hundred times. “What the fuck is this?” 

“Cookie.” 

“I don’t want this.” 

“Could you just eat it?” You put your own half in your mouth in its entirety, all aligned to your teeth. It shatters into sweet, soft crumbs between your teeth. You talk with a hand over your mouth, “It’s not gonna kill you.” 

Carmy looks at it for a long time before he eats it. 

You watch him. He’s more tan than you’d think, that Italian gene kicking in, skin clinging to whatever sunshine it finds. He spends enough time inside that you’re surprised it can muster the energy. He looks better with it though, his curls look gold toned under the sun, and his clenched jaw doesn’t seem so harsh. 

“What’s wrong?” you ask eventually. Almost conversationally. 

“Nothing.” His hand shakes on his thigh. He turns his palm down to clasp his knee. 

“You sure?” 

“No.” 

“That one’s my favourite.” 

“What?” 

You poke toward a tattoo on his hand. It’s a simple flower, same style as most of his tattoos. “I like it ‘cos it’s just a flower.” 

“My least pretentious,” he guesses. 

“Something like that.” 

He tips his head back. 

“Richie texted me. He thinks I’m gonna… like, I’m gonna calm you down, I guess.” 

“You always do,” he says. 

You give him a long, smiley look. “So you’re in love with me?” you ask warmly, pushing up into a knee to wrap your arm behind him, hugging him before he can move away. “You’re totally fucked for me, Berzatto, that’s fucking crazy.” 

“Fuck off,” he laughs. 

You rub his arm, his skin hot in your hold. He touches your waist very, very lightly. “What am I supposed to do, anyway? I can’t cook. You and Syd are on your own.” 

“You already… already did enough.” He grabs your waist where you wobble on the brick wall, grit biting your knees, his hand comparatively soft. 

“Such a crush on me,” you tease in a whisper, his hair crushed under your cheek. 

You’re tempted to kiss his temple, but affection with Carmy is like oil and water sometimes. You give him a last protective squeeze and sit yourself down again. 

“Carm,” you say, “you know you can call me, right? Like, if you don’t feel okay.” 

“Yeah. Yeah, I know.” 

“Or text me. If that’s easier. It’s hard to say hard things out loud.” 

He laughs again. “Sorry.” 

“I know, I don’t– I don’t seem like I know what you’re talking about, I get it, but I do understand. N’ even if I didn’t, I don’t mind listening. Or laughing at you.” 

“What’s that about?” 

“The laughing?” you ask. “You tell me.” 

His hand slides behind your back in half a hug. “Guess it’s funny.” 

“Can I change my mind about the tattoo?” 

“The flowers not your favourite?” 

“No. You know which one I like best?” 

His thumb rubs into your back. “The snail.” 

“Absolutely the snail. You’re so fucking silly sometimes, I’m supposed to take you seriously when you’re yelling and red in the face with a snail on your arm?” 

You can’t see his face with your cheek to his shoulder, won’t know that he’s smiling at you with a rare aura of peace. Can’t see the wanting, either. 

[batshit-auspol]

have we talked about the woolworths debacle yet?

Sigh.

Alright kids strap in, because the culture wars are back and stupider than ever.

So there are two characters you need to be familiar with in this story before we continue:

Woolies (i.e. Woolworths) - One of two supermarket chains in Australia. Not related to the giant Woolworths chain that used to exist overseas, other than the Aussie one swiped the name because the original forgot to trademark the name 'Woolworths' here. Biggest company in Aus, and also the biggest employer. Not a brand anyone with more than two braincells would pick a fight with.

Peter Dutton - Man with less than two braincells, and current leader of the political opposition in Australia. Best known for bearing a passing resemblance to a potato and once demanding that a homophobic song get played for balance when a football halftime show performed 'Same Love'. His reputation is so bad that if you told an Australian that Dutton's favorite pastime was drowning puppies, they probably would believe you.

And to prove our point, here's the best headline a friendly newspaper could come up with to try spin his image:

The third thing you need to know is that in Australia we have a national holiday called "Australia Day" which is basically a scheduled day for everyone to get into a giant argument.

This is because for the last 30ish years it has been held on the anniversary of the British claiming the land around Sydney as a colony which was:

a) More the founding of an English prison then the founding of Australia, and more importantly

b) from the perspective of the people who were already living here, kindof a very shit day

Now not everyone agrees on this, and even those that don't 'celebrate' will often still have a get together with friends, but it can't be denied that we've shifted a long way from the days when the country used to celebrate Australia Day by kitting ourselves out in Aussie flag budgie smugglers, drinking enough beer to drown Harold Holt, and partying like it's 1789.

(Now a brief break for a real photo of Peter Dutton at a press conference)

Good luck sleeping tonight. Anyway back to the story.

As a result of this shift away from the trend of showing your patriotism by wearing Australian flag underpants, this year Woolworths decided that they were no longer going to be rolling out their box of southern cross thongs - on the grounds that "this kitschy shit never sells" and they are far too busy with more important things like blaming price gouging on inflation and installing self-checkout machines that think your canvas bag is a crime against humanity.

Never a man to miss an opportunity to act like a massive twat, upon hearing that Woolies had dumped their flag merch, Peter Dutton rushed onto the airwaves to declare that Woolworths had "gone woke" (paging 4chan circa 2009) and called for the country to boycott the store, a story which Australia's media have gleefully put on loudhale for over a week now in order to drive outrage clicks.

We at this point remind you that Woolworths is a company which, as we previously mentioned, basically has a monopoly on selling food in this country. Not exactly something you can boycott.

(Another real Dutton photo break)

Needless to say Dutton's dumbass plan did not immediately put Woolies out of business, however the relentless media campaign by Rupert Murdoch's minions did result in a bunch of innocent low-wage floor staff being harrassed by The Dark Lord's fanboys and a few Woolies stores were graffitied.

Allegedly being the 'free market' guy, Dutton also kindof snookered himself by demanding the free market not decide the fate of Australia day, but logic was never one of his strong suits.

Anyway, in the end we're just going to keep having this dumb circular argument every year, fulled by a media who love fanning the flames, until a politician has the guts to shift the date to May 8 (pronounced m8), and everyone promptly forgets this was ever a thing.

All in all, that's the long and the short of it. As a final touch we'll leave you with this real tweet by Opposition Leader Peter Dutton, in all its batshit glory.

We look forward to the absolute dumpster fire of comments this post is going to generate - as is the Australia Day tradition.

[moresassythanclassy]

Colt and Jody have the best on-screen relationship I’ve seen in years

They may be one of the best relationships period. It’s been almost a month since seeing this and I still can’t get over it. I just love them so much and must now list the reasons why (spoilers ahead):

-Before the accident, they clearly had a genuine connection and cared deeply for each other, even if the relationship was still new.

-Their separation and relationship in general was crucial to the story and not just something thrown in for dramatic effect.

-Colt’s reasoning for disappearing actually made sense (even if he didn’t handle it the right way).

-Colt doesn’t even consider Gail’s offer at first but he’s ALL IN the second he hears Jody’s name.

-Even when Jody’s angry with him for showing up out of nowhere, he tells her how happy he is for her.

-Literally everything about the fire scene is *chef’s kiss*🤌🏼 (and Jody, sorry to tell you this but it’s definitely not a “fling” if you’ve been spinning out over this for the last year and a half).

-Colt’s upset with Gail for lying to him, but more so for the fact that his presence surprised and upset Jody.

-Jody’s the sexy bacon, and she was all along

-Good old-fashioned car cry (this scene was equal parts hilarious and sweet)

-Jody apologizes for the multi-take fire stunt, but Colt says he deserved it. He also wants to make up clipping the camera to her (he’s actually the sweetest🥹)

-High on drugs, Colt goes straight in for the hug and can’t hold back from telling Jody how pretty she is.

-Colt’s celebration when she calls him first, and then he basically drops everything he’s doing to talk to her.

-He drops everything again to help shoot her dream shot, the “one-er”

-Finger guns and Jody inviting him to karaoke

-Gail rips out the rug from under Colt and his only concern is not missing karaoke with Jody.

-“Do you think we’re close to rekindling? I mean it feels like it to me…”😂

-Jody’s heartbroken face when he doesn’t show up😢 She wanted him there so bad. And the subsequent power ballad😭

-He’s literally been dragged across the Sydney harbor bridge and thrown through a car window and a hundred other things and yet he still sprints to try to get to Jody in time.

-Jody doesn’t believe for a second that Colt is responsible for the murder (he apparently spent 23 minutes ushering a cockroach out of her room once and insisted they let it live😂).

-Colt’s “I’m still in love with you” phone call💔

-Jody just knows he’s still alive and isn’t about to give up hope

-She beats the crap out of him when he’s in the costume and he’s so chill about it👍

-“It’s just a stupid movie.” She doesn’t even care about her dream movie she’s spent her whole life working toward. He’s way more important to her than that!🤯😵

-Then he just fires right back and makes it clear he cares about her and her dreams so much more than he cares about himself😩 (what in the selfless-love-in-a-Hollywood-action-film is this!?)

-Her kissing him first😘

-Colt just wants to keep kissing even when they’re interrupted☺️😍

-The reference to spicy margaritas and swimming costumes from a conversation they had 18 months ago

-Colt gets the recording back and excitedly holds it up to Jody, but literally all she cares about is that he’s okay❤️

-Another kiss!

-🎶I was made for lovin’ you baby, you were made for lovin’ me🎶

-He cheers her on at Comic-con

-Jody and Colt and Jean-Claude on the beach being a happy family. What they’ve got is even better than the movies! 👫🐕🌅

What else am I forgetting? Idk but for real, if you haven’t seen it yet you should right now! Even if you have seen it, go buy it and give it the support it deserves!

[katelynnwrites]

All The Things She Did (Just So She Could Call You Hers) | Sydney Lohmann x Child!Reader

warnings: ~

word count: 1081

summary: Mama Syd wants to be able to officially call you hers, part of Sydney's Little Liebe

a/n: because syd is staying 🥰

Momma and Mama Syd have been getting ready to get married for what seems like forever now.

You’re so excited and simply cannot wait anymore.

It is very fun for you to be able to do things like pick out flowers for their wedding and try on dresses with your Mama and Momma.

Both of them say you have been very helpful and that makes you so proud of yourself.

Tante Klara says you should be too.

It also makes you feel very special that you are the only one who has seen Mama Syd in her wedding dress and Momma in her wedding dress.

Momma said she can’t know what Mama’s dress looks like and Mama Syd says that she cannot know what Momma’s dress looks like either.

They tell you that you have to keep it a secret for good luck so you focus very hard on not sharing it with anyone else or them.

You’re getting better at keeping secrets because you are almost six fingers old.

Momma looks super pretty in her dress and you think Mama does too.

The dress that you’re wearing to their wedding is also very very pretty and you love it. It is a light pink, kinda like the flowers you give Mama Syd sometimes.

Your dress sparkles too, because the stuff it is made out of has glitter on it.

It is your favourite dress and part of the reason why you are so eager for the wedding is because you want to wear it. You want to spin in it and make it swish around.

There are so many things that need to be done for the wedding and your mothers have it all written down in a particular folder.

This one isn’t written in though but you don’t know that when Momma asks if you would like to get some cuddles before bedtime.

You are more than happy to say yes and race to the big bed where Mama Syd is already waiting.

She looks nervous, like she sometimes does before the big games as Momma calls them.

That does not stop her from scooping you up and planting kisses all over you.

‘Mama Syd!’ You giggle and try to wiggle away but Mama doesn’t let up.

She laughs loudly and your Momma joins her, in both laughing and kissing you.

Their kisses tickle and you giggle so hard that your tummy hurts.

Breathlessly, you manage to escape and retreat to the edge of the bed.

There is a bright grin on your face and when Mama Syd opens her arms for you, you jump right into them.

She hugs you tightly and you can feel her heartbeat as you squeeze her back.

Curiously, you press your ear up against her chest.

‘Mama why is your heart going so fast?’

Your Mama Syd opens and then closes her mouth, looking immediately at Momma.

Momma smiles reassuringly at her and kisses her gently.

Mama Syd takes a deep breath.

‘Little Liebe, do you know what adopting means?’

From the way she’s talking, you know that she is being serious and you make sure to use your listening ears.

Despite using them, you still don’t know the word Mama is using so you shake your head.

Mama Syd chooses her words cautiously, ‘Well you know that you were born from your Momma’s tummy right?’

You nod, remembering the photos that Momma had shown you before. She told you that her tummy had gotten big because you were inside.

‘That’s why you and Momma are family. Because she went to the hospital and she had you.’

‘Okay…’ You slowly say.

Momma chuckles then because the way you have said it, is exactly the way your Mama sounds when she’s uncertain.

‘Adopting is really just a fancy word for someone loving a kid so much that they want them to be their family even if they didn’t go to the hospital to have them.’

You nod to show Mama Syd that you understand.

Momma reaches out to hold her hand and Mama Syd carefully explains, ‘I love you. I love you so much, like you are my own. My tummy didn’t get big and I didn’t go to the hospital to have you but I love you like your Momma does. Little Liebe, I want to adopt you. Would you like that?’

Her heart is going very very fast now, as she anxiously waits for you to answer.

You think really hard.

‘You want me to be yours even though I didn’t come from your tummy?’

‘Very much so.’ Mama Syd whispers.

Turning to your Momma, you question, ‘Would I still be yours if I let Mama Syd adopt me?’

‘Of course Little Liebe. You’re my daughter and that will always stay the same. Mama Syd is just asking if you want to be her daughter too.’

You settle back in your Mama Syd’s lap, asking, ‘When you and Momma get married, we’re going to be a family? This doesn’t change that?’

Mama Syd smiles, ‘No. We’re already a family, Little Liebe. We’re a family because we love each other so much. Your Momma and I getting married and me wanting to adopt you, is just to make it official.’

You feel a funny feeling in your chest, like you’re going to cry so you hide your face in your Mama Syd’s shirt.

This feels different than your usual crying though, a good different and Mama Syd strokes your hair lightly, giving you time to process your emotions.

Mama’s shirt is a bit wet when you pull away and sniffle, wiping your nose on the back of your hand.

Your words are sure when you decide, ‘Yes. I want you to adopt me Mama Syd.’

Mama Syd inhales sharply.

‘Okay. Okay. Gosh Little Liebe, you make me so happy.’ She murmurs.

She hugs you tightly and then looks at your Momma.

‘I can fill in the papers now.’ She tearfully says.

Momma smiles at her, ‘Told you she would say yes. I trust you, she trusts you and you trust us. I love you, she loves you and I know for sure that you love us both.’

Mama Syd leans in to kiss your Momma and then she returns her attention to you.

‘I do. I love the two of you more than anything.’ Mama Syd promises.

You curl up close to her and Momma is quick to cuddle both you and Mama.

German Translation:

Little Liebe - Little Love

[mendeshoney]

if you're still interested writing from the drunken confession prompt can you pls do "I can't wait for the room to stop spinning, so I can focus on your face again." With barzy but with the reader being the drunken one pls 😭

3.) "I can't wait for the room to stop spinning, so I can focus on your face again." with Mathew Barzal

"What the hell, Sydney?" Mat practically barks out, his hands shooting forward so he can steady you when Sydney all but dumps you into his arms.

You're absolutely wasted.

And it's not even one in the afternoon.

Sydney rolls her eyes, and from behind her, Mat can see her husband and his teammate, Marty, rolling his own eyes at his wife's lack of coordination. "Will you relax? She's fiiiiine!"

At Sydney's tone, and your sudden lack off coordination, Mat frowns, tightening his grip to keep you upright. "You two said you were going for brunch."

His tone is slightly accusatory, and it makes you scrunch your nose up in dissatisfaction. "We did!" You all but whine, and Marty sighs from his doorway.

"They went to that one café with the bottomless mimosas." Marty explains, barely breaking a sweat as he helps to keep his wife standing.

"They were amaaazing!" Sydney gushes, and you giggle from within his embrace.

"Sooo delicious!" You agree, and Marty sighs.

"She's been fine since I picked her up," his teammate tells him, "No nausea or sickness or anything, but I brought her straight home before these two could start brunch hopping."

Mat nods, letting out a small breath as he glances down at you, an amused smile crossing his lips when he finds you already looking at him with those big, beautiful eyes of yours and a toothy grin.

"Thanks man," Mat says, quickly shaking his teammates hand before pointing a finger at his wife. "And you! No more brunch."

Sydney whines a little more as Marty drags his wife back towards their car. Mat shuts the door behind him, turning to you and laughing a little when he finds you're still looking at him with that same grin.

"How are you feeling, princess?" He asks softly, brushing some hair out of your face.

You shrug, eyelids blinking slowly at his face. "Fine," you say, then frown a little, "A bit dizzy, I think."

Mat frowns now too, carefully putting one arm behind your back and the other behind your knees before lifting you bridal style. "Let's get you some water then."

"Mkay," you say dismissively, humming quietly to yourself as Mat walks you both toward the kitchen. He can feel your eyes glued to his face as he goes, and he hides the smirk threatening to cross his face.

He places you on top of the kitchen island, careful as he steps back, and he sees you blink at him, smiling, before your eyes blow wide and then squeeze shut, your body swaying a little.

"Whoa there," he says, placing his hands on either side of your face, steadying you, watching as your eyes do that slow blinking thing again. "Are you okay?"

"Mhm," you say, eyes still shut. "A little bit more dizzy."

"From me carrying you?" He assumes.

You try to shake your head, but Mat's hands keep you still. "Dunno baby."

"How many mimosas did you have?" He asks through a laugh, thumbs rubbing gently at your cheek bones.

"Can't count now, baby," you say, "trying not to be dizzy."

"I'm sorry princess," he says, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "I didn't mean to make it worse."

Your mouth opens like you're going to say something, but then it closes again, and your mouth forms a little pout, and he swears he can start to see tears beginning to coat your lashes.

He presses forward, hands still steady and holding your face. "Baby? What's wrong?"

"Too dizzy to open my eyes, room's spinning," your voice wobbles the way it does when you're about to start crying, and Mat can feel himself start to panic.

"Do you want water?" He asks, "I can get you water but I'd have to move to the sink."

"No, I don't want that." You pout more, and Mat's heart starts to fracture.

He presses another kiss to your forehead. "What do you want then?"

"Wanna look at your face."

It's quiet for a second, and then your words click in his head, and Mat starts to laugh. "What?"

"Wanna see you," you explain. "But I'm worried if I open my eyes, I won't be."

"Cause you're too dizzy?" He manages to ask through his chuckling.

You nod slowly, and then the tears that threatened to spill from your eyes start to disappear, and a small, pleased smile crosses your lips, posture straightening a little.

"I can't wait for the room to stop spinning, so I can focus on your face again." You declare happily.

It only makes him laugh more, and he presses his palms into your cheeks a little, delighting in the way they squish a little and your mouth exaggerates the pout that forms.

"Why do you want to see my face?" He asks playfully.

"S' pretty," you manage to say through the squish. "And I love it, love you."

"I love you too, princess." Mat punctuates his statement with a kiss to your squished up lips, then slowly lowers his hands from your face to your shoulders. "Now, how about that water? And some Advil. Definitely Advil."

[sweetracha]

Give Them a Show

Sugar Content: Spicy Sweet (SMUT!)

Allergy Warning: Felix x Reader, OT8 Moments, Public Sex, Sex with an Audience, Humilation, Felix acts like a Ringmaster in some ways, Secete Relationship, Overstimulation, Spanking (a few smacks), Pussy Spanking (once), Squirting, Felix really likes showing you off.

Pastry Description: Felix and the reader keep their relationship a secret from the rest of the members. What happens when they walk in on your little make-out session? Felix is always one for putting on a good show.

Dating an idol was difficult, you knew that going into this relationship. You had always had a crush on the freckled Aussie since you first met him back in high school. Taking Baking 101 as an elective was probably the best decision you had ever made. After graduation, you two kept in touch and soon enough you watched your own personal starlight turn into radiating sunshine for the world.

Felix made an effort to text and call when he could. However, it was inevitable that the hours turn into only a few minutes. Trips back home from Korea seemed to get shorter and shorter. He used to plan days worth of stuff for the two of you to do but it became lucky if you could even meet his family for dinner. It seemed like your crush would only burn on your end.

Then, after the Sydney show, when the boys were all running off of post-concert highs Felix suck you out. You had no clue where the two of you were going, you moved out of the city years ago at this point. Then it all became familiar. The road up the little hill you had taken many times before was tattooed in your memory. Felix and you would sneak off at night to meet here, to get away from it all. This is where he confessed his dreams of being an idol to you, where he told you he was going to audition, where he came to cry to you when he was eliminated, and ultimately where he told you that his life was about to change forever.

This spot was also where you spilled your innermost thoughts to your best friend. Tears were shed, laughter was had, and even anger was shown. You kept many more things locked away however, Felix's glow was sometimes too blinding. The same night he showed you the one-way ticket to Korea was the night you shoved your love letter deeper into your purse.

You drove up here when you called Felix and told him about your date.

And when you mentioned you were moving out of the city with your new partner.

and again when you unveiled your engagement.

The last time you were here, you sobbed over the phone as you explained the last few months you endured as they left you. Felix wished more than anything he wasn't in Korea that night.

Sitting in his mom's borrowed car Felix poured his heart out to you. He explained how life has not been all he made it seem. That he only ever told you about the glamor because he knew you would worry. His rambling was cut short when the roof light caught your eye just right. The shine from your now tear-welled eyes sparkled. Felix wondered if he had hurt you until he saw the faint cat smile that graced your lips. It was the same one he saw every time he made you feel safe. The world seemed to still in the moment, telling him he was where he needed to be. Leaning over the center console his lips took your cat smile away. Then the world moved around you two again.

It kept spinning and spinning. You two never officially asked each other out but it was an obvious thing. Even his members knew you were off the menu. Felix would never confirm your relationship though, mutually agreeing it was best to keep it to yourselves for now. The little moments you two got alone were few and far between. However, you always savored every moment. Heavy make-out sessions lead to sensual petting which always turned into dry humping like college students until one of you finished. Sex was rare, almost a myth in your relationship. Felix didn't do quickies, no he made love to you. He treated the bedroom like a stage and Felix was never one to put on a bad performance.

That's why it was so surprising to you when he came back early from his schedule. You were staying with the boys while you waited for your apartment in Soul to be completed. Felix cried the day you sent him a picture of a matching one-way flight.

He walked through the front door and searched for you. It didn't take long for him to find you lounging on the living room couch in his old tee and some sleep shorts. Before you knew it he had you thrown on his lap with his hands up your shirt. Desperate eyes met yours, begging to let his inner desires free. That cat smile gave him all the permission he needed. Felix attacked your lips rather ungracefully but the need he had for you turned you on more than any good kiss could.

Cold hands chilled your burning skin as they crept up your back. The kiss deepened when he placed one of his hands on the back of your neck, wrapping it around the base. His other found your hardening buds and began to play. A particular tweak to your nipple made you throw your head back to moan out his name, but the hand around it got firmer making it so you couldn't move away.

Felix had this way about him. He was so soft like a teddy bear but dominated anyway. Every degradation was laced with praise. Every bite was kissed away. Every smack was smoothed. Every tear was wiped away. No one knew this side of him, only you.

So captured in this heated exchange neither of you heard the door open. Clouded minds silenced all noise. All but one loud gasp.

Felix pulled away, it was a sound he had never heard from you before. He searched your face for pain but only saw traces of what he described as embarrassment. If that wasn't you gasping then it must have been…

"LEE FUCKING FELIX! YOU LIER" Hyunjin yelled out.

All your worst fears came true. Here you were sitting pretty and posed on your secret boyfriend's lap while all his members barged through the door. You wanted you run away and hide but you froze. It wasn't until Felix tapped your cheek for attention.

"Baby, go to the bedroom for me, yeah? Let me talk to the boys." Felix helped you up and made you as decent as possible. A hand on your lower back ushered you away.

You don't know what possessed you to look up. Catching eyes with Chan did something to you that you couldn't describe.

The gasp, the way they stood there, their eyes on you imprinted into your mind. Seungmin wore a cautious smirk. Changbin's seemed proud. Jeongin couldn't decide if he wanted to look at or away from you. Han chose the latter. Hyunjin's dramatics turned his face a bright red. Lee Know acted as if you weren't in the room. But Chan? Chan looked hungry.

One after another their faces played on a loop in your mind. Each one makes your panties a bit wetter. Why was this happening? You loved Felix. You wanted Felix and only Felix. The thought of being with anyone else made you die a little inside. You would never want to fuck any of the other guys, but something made you feel like you wanted them there.

Felix came back into the room and kneeled in front of you. His hands cupped around your puffy cheeks. He looked into your eyes before he spoke.

"Baby Doll, I'm so sorry that happened. I checked all of our schedules three times over. I wasn't aware they canceled tonight's practice."

"It's okay, sunshine." Your voice told a much different story.

"No, it's not. I had to tell them everything. They want to apologize and to tell you that they think this is a good idea, we are a good idea. Baby, can they come do that?"

You instantly nodded a frantic no.

"Then what are you baby? Turned on?" He laughed at his joke. Then noticed you were not.

"Doll, why? What's wrong? Your face is so red, it's okay to be embarrassed" You and Felix swore you would never lie.

"I'm not embarrassed."

"Oh. I'm sorry baby I didn't mean to upset you." a gentle hand ran up your thigh comforting, but was quickly met with a wet patch. "Baby? What is--OH! Baby…did it really turn you on?"

"Felix I'm sorry! I would never cheat! You know that, promise me you know that!"

"Oh, I know baby. You can't help being turned on by all the eyes on you. The attention is addicting baby, trust me." His voice got impossibly deeper. "The idea of them all watching, wanting, craving you, but they can't have it. Sounds delicious to me. You would get to be the star I always knew you could be. The leading lady in her own debut performance. What do you say, Doll? Why don't we give them a show?"

Some of the guys looked away the second they entered the room. A few looked at your body but away from your face. Then there was Chan, hungry eyes looking directly into yours.

It was clear that you agreed, the cat smile reappear on your lips. He saw this pretty little sub fall right into place at the idea alone. Felix held you for a second, kissed your head, and then left. It was about 15 minutes before he returned, with 7 blushing faces behind him.

"Take a seat anywhere, there are no bad options. Every view of my baby is the best." Felix spoke in a lower cadence and held the tone of a narrator. The chill that ran up your spine was seen by everyone.

Felix sat behind you, pulling you in close and slowly caressing your sides. You know this move. He does this when he wants to keep you on edge, wet but not yet ready to cum. He was planning something.

"Welcome to the show, I hope you all enjoy it. There are a few rules before we get started. First off, no flash photography or filming of any kind, this is a private show after all. Secondly no talking during the performance. Lastly no touching…not even yourself" His voice turned scary at that last line.

"Failure to follow these rules will result in a permanent ban from our theater. Understood? Good. Any questions?"

"When you say no touching--" Surprisingly, the voice that spoke up wasn't Chan's, rather it was Jeongin's.

"No jacking off, no palming, no rubbing, no grinding, and no lap sitting" Felix shot that part directly toward Han and Minho.

"Shall we begin?"

Felix first removed your shirt and shorts to reveal a set of lavender lingerie underneath. His hands slowly roamed your body, obviously showing it off. Once his hands reached your chest he pushed your boobs together, earning some groans from the men in front of you.

Being so openly on display made you burn from embarrassment, but in a way that was so addicting. You didn't dare make eyes with any of the boys, that would be too much. The attempts they made to stifle any moans were already enough to make you crazy.

"Oh, what do we have here" Felix moved one hand to your thigh while the other cupped your chin. Simotaniously he forces your legs open and your vision forward. "Looks like my baby might be enjoying this, huh? Atta girl, loving the attention. I knew you would. Look at that dark spot right in the middle of your panties. I bet if I just--" He dragged a finger right across the spot in question. "I was right, you are fucking soaked."

His hand kept your face forward and he pushed your panties to the side. You were forced to take in every face in front of you. Han was as red as you had ever seen him yet he didn't look away. Seungmin and Jeongin both bit their bottom lips. Minho's pointed glare made you want to hide. Hyunjin looked as if he was in awe. Changbin seemed more focused than ever. And Chan, well Chan looked hungry.

Felix was quick to slip a finger inside of your cunt and set a brutal pace. He was only ever quick like this if he was determined to make you cum. From the growing erection on your back, you were sure he was as desperate as you were. Two more fingers entered before you realized and more were making short figure 8s on your clit. You threw your head back as you held in your moans.

"Nuh uh baby, that won't do. Go on, sing for our guests." Felix purred in your ear.

A crying whiny moan left you. Each one after was higher in pitch. You were so close, right on the edge of bliss. Then Felix pulled out. You didn't have time to complain however as he landed a slap to your soaked cunt and vigorously rubbed four flat fingers back and forth. In a matter of seconds, the bed in front of you was soaked as you screamed.

Most of the boys had to sit on their hands to not break Felix's rules. They were not about to risk missing the second act of this performance. A few moans and groans and even a whine from Jisung escaped but Felix let them slide. He was focused on you now.

"Color babygirl" He whispered for only you to hear.

"Green" it was shakey and quiet but Felix got the idea.

A gentle hand seductively ran down your front before he flipped you around, giving all the guys a great view of your ass. He smacked it a few times before smoothing out the red.

"How's the show so far? Worth the wait?" Felix projected out to the crowd.

"I see some are enjoying it…and others are REALLY enjoying it" He snickered as Changbin choked on a fake cough.

"Sometimes a bit of color looks so good on you baby."

He laid you back slowly, inching your head so close to the edge of the bed. Just enough that when you looked up you could see everyone. This position was dizzying enough but adding the weight of Felix's cock at your entrance made you spiral.

"Please" you whined out

"God baby, that's all I needed to hear"

"Come on baby, you can do better. Show them how a real starlet begs."

"Please Felix, please fuck me. I need it. I need your cock in me, fuck me like they aren't here"

And with that, Felix set long deep strokes into you. He knew you better than anyone else. You liked to feel yourself being taken apart, feeling every inch sink in and out.

Every time he thrust into you, your head got closer and closer to tipping over the edge. Every time it happened you were closer to falling over your own. Felix let out a startlingly loud groan as your walls contracted around him.

"Fuck that's it, baby, Keep going. Fuck, keep squeezing me like that and I'll show the boys how pretty you look with cum leaking out of you." The pad of his thumb met with your clit and sent you over the edge.

As you came hard your head slipped over the bed. Unside-down you saw 7 sets of dark lustful eyes ready to take you. At least three of them came untouched. You overstimulated yourself at the thought that you could do that to someone.

Felix slowly pulled out of you and gently turned you around. Your body was putty at this point, making it easy for him to mold you just how he liked. He spread your legs as wide as possible and pushed down on your lower stomach. His cum mixed with yours as it began to leak out of you. He pushed a bit harder to make it flow.

"Good job baby, everyone clap for the star of our show."

The clapping added to the intoxicating humiliation you already felt.

"But the show must go on! What is a performance without an encore, am I right?" Felix sat you up.

"I think we need help from the audience for this next part. Chan, do you mind coming up on stage?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Chan said.

He looked hungry.

The Sweetest Batch: @goblinracha, @xx3rachaslutxx, @j-onedrabbles, @lixiesweetbrownie, @marrivmel,@lyramundana , @raaaaaaahhhh , @the-geese-shall-dominate

Was your guess right? : @moonlightndaydreams, @seungminsapuppy, @krishastumblernow, @lyramundana,@s9fit3, @sluttylilbunbun, @seungmins-secret-thoughts, @seo--changbin

[feelbokkie]

L♡VE IN F♡CUS | Chapter 4

PAIRING: idol!Changbin x fem reader

WARNINGS: mention of food/eating, one swear word, some angst

GENRE: smau, crack, angst, fluff

P♡V: 1st/2nd person (depending on how you view it)

SUMMARY: Amateur concert photographer Y/n has recently been promoted to junior music journalist. Her first assignment? An exposé on the popular Kpop boy group, Stray Kids. Spending an entire tour doing in depth interviews with eight men seems simple enough, but one member isn't exactly open to the idea. Will Y/n be able to break down the walls around his heart, or will her big break turn into a big disaster?

TAGLIST: closed

W♡RD C♡UNT: 4,981

SCREENSH♡T C♡UNT: 15

A/N: sorry for disappearing without a word

PREVIOUS | MASTERLIST | NEXT

©feelbokkie (2024) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.

“So, how does all this work?” You ask from the couch behind the set of chairs Chan and Changbin are currently sitting in, a third one is empty between the two of them.

“Like producing or all of the buttons?” Chan asks, spinning around in the chair to give you all of his attention.

“You can explain the buttons if you want,” You adjust yourself comfortably on the couch, making sure to find a way to sit so you can take notes without hurting your back later. “But I meant producing.”

The three of you are currently sitting in a recording studio that the company rented for the group to use on their last day in Sydney. One of the inclusions that everyone agreed on is a mini CD-R of each member's solo song from the tour, and one rerecorded song for the group version broken up into a special racha version. The boys wanted to get the recording as quickly as they could before they got too tired from touring, which is why you're up at the earliest time you've needed to be so far.

Chan starts to roll up the sleeve of his black hoodie, thinking for a moment. "Well, when Han gets here--"

"If Han gets here. I guarantee you that he's still asleep right now." Changbin whines, his voice still heavy from sleep.

"I'll send a text to the group chat in a second to have one of the other kids swing by his room before they come over." Chan rubs his eyes as he pulls his phone out of his pocket and sets it on the table behind him. "We can do the first two songs without him right now I guess."

"They're just the solo songs so we can manage." Changbin yawns. You can't tell if he's telling you or reassuring Chan.

"Yeah, you're right. Anyway," He pulls off his cham and fixes his hair before placing it back on. "Someone will be in the recording booth with headphones that play the backing track while everyone else can hear from the speakers in here. Basically, everyone out here is listening to make sure that the recording goes well. That whoever is in the booth is keeping pitch, or pronouncing everything correctly, and so forth. Or if something doesn't sound right, we can fix it right then and there. It's not always in one go though so sometimes we have to take the best bits of each take and splice them together."

"And then you take the mostly recorded track and do whatever tweaking needs to be done in post?" You question as you write down what Chan explained.

"Exactly! Someone's been doing their homework." Chan claps once loudly in excitement, the sudden noise causes Changbin to jump in his seat.

"I've always been a good student." You smirk to yourself as you look through your questions to ask. "I've watched some of your recording sessions on YouTube. You--"

The door swings open, stealing all of your attention. On the other side, Jisung stands holding four coffees in a carrier in one hand and another, larger iced coffee in the other. He's mostly hidden away in a large beanie that falls just above his eyes, a matching black face mask, an oversized hoodie, and baggy grey cargo pants.

"I know I'm late, but I bought an apology gift." He says, holding up the drink carrier.

"More like a bribe." Chan laughs, turning the seat next to around so that Jisung can sit in it.

"Here you go, noona." Jisung hands you one of the iced coffees before taking his seat between Chan and Changbin.

"I can be bought." You joke as you take the drink.

You watch as Jisung settles into his seat, handing both Chan and Changbin their drinks before placing the remaining fifth cup on the table behind them. Chan takes a sip of the coffee and turns back to you. "Noona, you were asking us a question."

"I'll ask it later. You guys have a lot of work ahead of you. I'll be like a fly on the wall from this moment forward."

All three of them nod in agreement. Recoding nine songs in one day isn't impossible but it is a lot of work. The three of them turn around again and discuss something briefly that you can't hear. Unsure of what else to do, you recheck your notes as they talk, trying your best to give them privacy in the too-small room.

"Ah, I'm suddenly nervous to record this song!" Chan laughs nervously while throwing his head back.

"We've all seen you perform it seven times already." Jisung pats him on the back to reassure him.

"Yeah but..." His voice trails off as he slowly makes eye contact with you as he spins around.

"You're nervous because of me?" You point to yourself for confirmation.

"Well, the song is a bit..." His voice trails off again, scratching the back of his increasingly red neck.

"Oh, so you can take your shirt off in front of Stay but you can't sing the song in front of noona?" Changbin teases.

"At this point, noona is like my sister. So it's..."

"I'm pretty sure your actual sister was in the audience this weekend. Your entire family really." You remind him.

"Oh my God," He sighs, burying his head in his hands.

"Ah, Bang Chan! Just hurry up and go in the booth already!" Changbin yells, getting annoyed and dropping all formalities with his leader.

"Okay, okay!" He gets up and takes one more sip of his coffee. "It's a song about trains anyway so I don't know what I'm getting worked up about."

"Hyung, be so fucking for real right now. We're all adults here. Just--"

Smack!

"Ow! What was that for." Jisung rubs the spot on his thigh that Changbin just smacked.

Changbin doesn't say anything. Instead, he nods in your direction, warning the younger man that you're still listening. You roll your eyes and raise your hand up. "It's off the record, don't worry."

After some punches to the air, Chan finally makes his way into the recording booth. He places the large headphones over his ears and pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket. He unfolds the paper and then places it on the music stand in front of him. He signals for you to turn around and cover your ears with a sheepish smile. You respond by shaking your head 'no' and snapping a quick picture of him with your camera.

Jisung gets up from his seat and takes the seat that Chan was sitting in earlier. He pats his previous seat with his hand while looking through the papers in front of him. "Noona, sit here. Come be an honorary member of 3racha."

"I promise you that your careers are safer if I sit back here." You chuckle slightly.

"Then come up here and keep us company. It feels weird sitting here with just two of us. Feels like if Cerberus was missing a head."

"That's a bit dramatic, no?" You question as you gather your things.

"It's 3racha. You need all three of us. Cerberus is just a two-headed dog without the third head. Or worse, a regular dog. 2racha isn't a real thing." Jisung says with a faraway look in his eyes. You can almost see a glint of fondness as he thinks back about something.

"Can I quote you on that?" You ask as you set your things on the table.

"Technically Vocalracha is 2racha," Changbin interjects. Without looking up from the papers he's now flipping through, he pulls out Jisung's chair for you to sit on. Without hesitation, you quietly thank him while taking the seat.

"That's not the same thing and you know it hyung." Jisung whines, stomping his feet on the floor, gently shaking the table.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

All three of your heads snap up at Chan who is now mouthing something at you.

"Oh, his mic is off," Changbin says while he looks at the set of buttons spread out across the table.

"Hold on, this system is different from the one we're used to. Everything is in English too."

"They showed us how to use the equipment earlier but I forgot which one is the mic on and off button," Changbin explains.

Your eyes scan the table and find the button labeled 'microphone on/off'. Afraid of accidentally hitting something and messing with the entire system, you quietly point to it. Changbin follows your finger and presses the button without any hesitation. You hold your breath for a moment, scared that you might have found the wrong button. All three of you stare at Chan while Jisung signals for him to talk.

"Is my mic on now?" Chan asks softly.

All three of you let out a sigh of relief before Jisung presses the intercom button in front of him and leans into the mic. "Yeah, hyung. We can hear you now, loud and clear."

"Okay, good. Are we good to start now? I want to get my song over with before the other kids get here." Chan teeters back and forth on his feet and swings his arms back and forth like a child waiting for their parent to get done talking to their friend. It's an insane image of a man who is about to sing a song that is definitely not about railways.

Jisung turns to look at Changbin who is looking at a little piece of paper in front of him. You can see small diagrams of buttons and little notes on them in Korean that you're almost certain he wrote himself. He gives Jisung a thumbs-up as his finger hovers over one of the buttons.

"Yeah, we're going to start now, hyung," Jisung tells him before sliding the intercom away from him.

Chan resumes his position in front of the microphone. He flashes all three of you an innocent smile before signaling that he's ready to start. Both you and Jisung watch Changbin as he presses one of the buttons. Soon after, the opening notes of "Railway" play over the speaker in the room. Chan makes a motion pointing up which causes Changbin to scramble as he looks for another button while referring to his little cheat sheet. Changbin presses the button and Chan gives him another thumbs-up before singing the opening lines of the song.

You sit quietly between the two younger members of 3racha as they work, careful to not distract them. You've been with them for two months, but this is the most serious you've seen them. Most of the time, they're goofing off and picking on each other or the other members. Changbin quietly nods along to the music while reading the lyrics sitting in front of him. Every few seconds he writes a little note on the page. Jisung is also reading along with the lyrics. After Chan finishes the first verse, he waits patiently while drinking water as Jisung and Changbin quietly discuss among themselves what parts they should have him fix. After a few minutes, they go over what went well and what he can do to improve. Chan nods along before the three of them rerecord the first verse. After the second recording, they replay both versions of the recording for Chan to hear. This time Chan seems a bit dissatisfied and asks if he can try one more time. Once more, the opening notes play and Chan redoes the first verse. During the review of the third take, all three of them are satisfied and go to the next verse.

This process continues for each verse, chorus, and adlib until all three of them, but most importantly Chan, are happy with the final product. Afterwards, Chan switches places with Jisung and it starts all over again. Jisung's recording goes a bit faster than Chan's due to fewer notes from the other two producers in the room. While Jisung records, both Chan and Changbin are quietly explaining everything to you so you have a bit more context of what's going on. After Jisung is done, he takes Chan's seat again while Chan moves over to Changbin's seat so they can record the next song. Changbin's recording took the longest of the three because of how much he was joking around. After that, they managed to get started on the 3racha hip-hop version of "Runners," all while spending more time messing around than focusing. Still, the three of them are done in nearly two hours.

For a moment, you're left alone in the recording studio while the three men take their break outside of the room. You sit quietly on the couch, your new permanent spot now that all three producers are done recording, and add to your notes about the experience. You don't notice at first that Changbin is the first one back in the room. He's quiet for a moment as he reclaims his spot at the end of the table.

"It's not as fun and glamorous as our recording session videos, huh?" Changbin asks quietly, finally breaking his silence.

You slowly lift your head up and blink at him, confused for a moment. You don't think there's been a moment where he's spoken to you first before. At least, not unprompted. Not without another member being in the room.

Changbin continues to stare at you, waiting for your answer. You shake your head and put your notebook aside, "No, I think it's very interesting. I'm learning a lot about making music and you three in general. I really love music so seeing how it's made is really fun."

Changbin slowly nods his head as he spins back around. You roll your eyes as you pick up your notebook again. A few seconds later, Changbin turns around again. You freeze midsentence, waiting for him to say something.

"Do you want to experience the other side of it?" His expression is soft and genuine. You've only seen this expression on his face when he's with his members, never with you. Then again, you haven't been alone with him yet. Maybe the overprotective, intimidating part of him is an act.

"What?" You set your notebook aside once again, "Like, inside the recording booth?"

"Yeah," While his face is softer towards you than you're used to seeing, he still refuses to smile. "For your article. You're still writing that, right? In addition to everything else?"

"I am still writing the article. And I'd love to step inside the booth." Notebook in hand, you follow as Changbin stands up and leads you to the door you've watched all three of them go through.

You wait patiently as you watch Changbin adjust the height of the mic for you. After a few moments, he quietly leaves the room and takes his spot back in front of the soundboard. He motions for you to put the headphones on.

The recording booth is smaller on the inside than you imagined. Much more stuffy, hotter than the room you were just in. It must have something to do with all the soundproofing that needs to be done. You roll up the sleeves of your sweater while you look around the room, taking in every little detail.

"Noona, can you hear me?" Changbin's voice rings through the headphones.

"Yeah," You turn, giving your full attention to the man on the other end of the glass. You always thought that there was a speaker overhead that was connected to the intercom in the other room.

"Good," He nods as he takes a sip of his now watered-down coffee. "I'm going to play something so you can hear what it's like."

You give him a thumbs up as you watch him search through Chan's laptop. After a moment, finding what he's looking for, he turns to look back up at you. "So you're going to hear a quick-timing beat and then the music is going to start."

You wait while watching Changbin as three ticks of what sounds like a metronome play in your ear right before the instrumental track for "Runners" starts. Your head bobs along to the music as you mentally sing the lyrics of the song you've heard countless times. The music is so loud, you're almost certain your heartbeat changed to match the tempo.

Just as soon as the song starts, it ends right when the first verse should end. You quickly grab your notebook and jot down a few notes before looking back at Changbin again.

"Is it always like this? Like," You pause for a moment, trying to find the right words. "is it always just the backing track? I've heard that some artist hear their own voice too."

"You can hear your own voice if you want it that way but it can get a bit confusing so we don't. Some artists will have their guide playing if they have one or a metronome to keep the tempo. If we're layering or doing adlibs then we'll have what we've already recorded playing instead to make it easier for us and the person mixing the track."

"I see," A million more questions float into your mind as you take note of what Changbin just told you. But you decide to keep them to yourself for now. You still have a few more hours before the day is over.

"Do you want to record for real?" Changbin asks suddenly.

You pause for a moment, contemplating his question. It would be a bucket list item you would be able to scratch off the list. But the idea of performing a--song let alone performing a song in front of the original artist--is intimidating. "I can't sing,"

"We have autotune," He says as the corner of his mouth twitches up into a smirk that he can't hide.

You bite your lower lip as you think about the next time an opportunity like this will happen again. With your career, it probably won't happen again in this lifetime.

"Okay, but no laughing."

"Well, not in front of you."

"I changed my mind." You go to pull the headphones off and go back into the main room.

"I'm kidding, I'll be nice. I promise." He says quickly, his infectious laughter ringing through your ears. "What song do you want to do?"

"'Runners' is fine." You breathe as you readjust the headphones on your head.

Changbin does something on the laptop for a moment, probably turning on the autotune for you, and then makes an 'okay' symbol letting you know he's ready to go.

You say a silent prayer that you don't completely embarrass yourself in front of Changbin or any of the other members who are bound to walk back into the studio at any moment as the metronome chimes in your ears again. As the song starts, your voice is a bit shakier than you hoped. It's one thing to pretend to be an idol recording a song in the shower. It's an entirely different beast standing in a real recording booth while singing in front of an actual idol.

The song goes on longer than it did when Changbin was showing you how it sounded earlier. He's probably letting you go for as long as you can before cutting you off. Unfortunately for him, and his ears, you know the entire song.

Claps erupt in your ears just as the song finishes. You turn to the side to see that Chan and Jisung have returned from their break and that both Seungmin and Jeongin have also arrived. You quickly rip off your headphones, grab your notebook, and leave the booth with your eyes on the floor so that none of the boys can see how red your face is. You're not sure when any of them came in, and for your sake, it might be better that you didn't know.

"Wow, noona, do you want to join us in Vocalracha?" Jeongin jokes as you take your spot back on the couch.

"I think Vocalracha has enough members, thank you very much."

"Just switch places with Seungmin, nobody will notice the difference," Jisung suggests as he takes his seat next to Changbin.

"I'll notice," Seungmin deadpans as he takes the spot next to you on the couch.

"Does that mean I'll be Vocalracha leader then?" Jeongin's eyes light up with a mischievous twinkle.

"I think for noona's sake, you shouldn't be the leader. You'll run it like the military." Chan laughs, ruffling Jeongin's hair. In return, Jeongin pushes him hard enough to cause him to stumble.

Jeonging climbs over both your and Seungmin’s legs to get to the empty seat near the couch in the corner. "And Seungmin hyung doesn't?"

"I'm nice to you, why are you lying? Spend a day in danceracha with Lee Know hyung and you'll be crawling back to me, begging for forgiveness." Seungmin pouts.

Jeongin him off while pulling his phone out of his pocket. "I bow for no one,"

"You bow for Stay." Chan reminded the youngest man.

"That's different. I respect Stay." He replies without missing a beat.

"You don't respect me?" Seungmin asks, his mouth drops open, feigning shock.

Jeongin turns to Seungmin and points at himself. "Maknae on top,"

"Guys," Changbin warns. Both Seungmin and Jeongin turn to the older man, confused by the sudden warning. Changbin only replies by nodding in your direction.

And just like that, he's back to putting a wall between you and the entire group.

"Noona knows that we're only joking," Seungmin says softly, turning back to you with soft eyes. Almost like he's apologizing on Changbin's behalf. "Don't you, Y/n noona?"

"I vaguely remember one or more of you saying something about how Jeongin would be scary if he was one of the hyungs so..." You tease as you pretend to flip through your notebook. You slightly glance up and make eye contact with a worried Changbin. "I'm only joking, I know Jeongin has a soft spot for each of you and to take what you guys say with a grain of salt. Like when Seungmin says he hates you, he doesn't really--"

Seungmin throws his hand in front of your mouth, not close enough to touch you, but enough to get you to stop talking. "Hey, hey, hey, no need to expose me like that, noona."

"Okay, okay, well leave the two maknaes alone." Chan laughs, as he takes his seat next to Jisung. "Which one of you wants to go first? Or did you want to start by doing Vocalracha's 'Runners,' drama version?"

"I'll go first. Someone spent the whole car ride worried about doing his sexy concept in front of noona." Seungmin sighs as he gets up and walks straight into the booth.

"Hey," Jeongin cries, looking up from his phone.

"I'd like to remind everyone that I've already seen all of your stages. Multiple times. I've already seen the belly buttons and abs and heard all of the lyrics enough times in the past two months for you to not be worried." You reassure him.

"Couldn't be me," Chan clears his throat as he turns back around. You can see how quickly his neck and ears are getting red just before he pulls his hood over his head.

"You are the biggest offender, don't lie." Jisung laughs while hitting Chan on the shoulder.

"Seungmin, are you ready?" Chan changes the subject as Seungmin pulls his headphones on. Seungmin responds by making a silly face and doing a thumbs-up.

***

The rest of the day pretty much goes how it did earlier. Seungmin got done with his recording almost as quickly, if not faster than Jisung did earlier. Jeongin took a bit longer because he nitpicked each of his takes to make sure they were perfect. By the time they were done with their solos and recording "Runners," drama version it was time for lunch and the remaining three members of the group came with food for everyone. After lunch, Danceracha got started with their version of "Runners" before doing their solo recordings.

You tried to focus as well as you could but with the room full, there was always something happening on the side that always caught your attention. The other members only got scolded by Chan, Changbin, and Jisung, who were in full producer mode, a handful of times for their volume or overall playful antics. And while the day didn't feel like it lasted that long, when you checked your phone, it was basically dinner time.

"Alright, Lee Know-ssi, you're all done." Chan yawns into the microphone. You are almost certain he didn't get much sleep last night after the two of you spent the entire day exploring Sydney for his solo zine.

"Thank god!" The second oldest yells as he quickly pulls off his headphones and joins all eight of you in the main room.

With nowhere left to sit, Minho sits on Changbin's feet. Nobody else is phased by it, and after spending time with the group, it doesn't puzzle you as much as it once did.

"Hyung, get off," Changbin whines.

Minho tilts his head back and looks at Changbin innocently. "Why?"

"Never mind," Changbin mumbles as he gently pushes Minho's head back forward.

You do your best to hide the smirk threatening you appear on your face as you pack up your equipment. You didn't use much today, just your camera and your notebook. But still, you make sure to disconnect the lens from the camera and over both of them with the appropriate caps and then slide them into your bag. You close your notebook with a satisfying tap and put the pen into the wire spiral before putting it into your bag. Satisfied that you packed everything, you stand up and sling your bag over your shoulder.

"If none of you have any plans, we can all head out to dinner for our last night in Australia?" You ask softly.

You want to treat the boys after a long day of work that you know they wouldn't have had if it wasn't for you. It's the least you can do. That is if you can find a way to pay without them knowing or trying to beat you to it.

"A little bit later? There's something the kids and I have to talk about first. If you don't mind waiting, it'll take about an hour. You can go ahead and wait at the hotel if you want." Chan says while stretching his arms in front of him.

You nod with a smile. "That's fine. We can also go another day too. No rush. Have during your meeting. Or text me if you still want to go."

Trying not to trip, you slightly knock into Felix's leg as you leave. You give them one final wave goodbye just as you leave.

You walk to the entrance of the studio, passing by a few random people entering the building. Deciding to stay cool, you wait in the lobby and dig around your bag, looking for your phone so you can call a car service to bring you back to the hotel.

Panic slowly sets in when you don't feel your phone in your bag. You check your pockets quickly before emptying your bag on the couch in the lobby. Pens, gum, your headphones, camera, notebook, wallet, and a bit of trash fall out. But not your phone. You think for a moment, you could have sworn that you put your phone in your bag. You checked the time, set it on the arm of the couch, and then...

It's still in the studio. You shove everything back in your bag. No longer panicking, you move slowly. You could wait around for the group to be done with their meeting and grab your phone so you don't disrupt them. But waiting for an hour, with nothing more to do feels a bit daunting. You could try to head back to the hotel and see if you could ask one of the staff members to message one of the members to grab your phone but the key to your room is in the back of your phone case. And with the security precautions in place for the group, you're almost certain you're not going to be able to get a spare key from the front desk.

"Here," Someone mutters furiously under their breath.

You turn around quickly, only to be met face to face with Changbin, his other hand clenched tightly in a fist. Even with his jaw clenched, you can see spasms of irritation across his face.

"T-thank you," You stutter as you take your phone from him.

Without saying a word, he turns back around and starts walking back to the studio. Halfway he stops, turns back around, and walks back towards you quickly.

"If you're going to bug us, you should learn to hide your phone better." He growls in a low voice.

"Excuse me?" You scoff in disbelief at the accusation.

You thought that you had Changbin figured out. That he's lovely in general but he's protective of the group. But now, as he stares at you with his nostrils flared and pure anger in his eyes, you fear that everything about him is an act.

Before you can explain yourself or even try to diffuse the tension between the two of you, Changbin disappears back into the hallway again.

You tightly grip your phone as you hold back your screams of frustration. You take a few deep breaths to calm yourself down, ignoring the needle pricks of anger stabbing the back of your eyes. Once you've calmed down enough, you pull up the car service app on your phone and order a ride back to the hotel.

—

Buy me a coffee?

—

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[lol-jackles]

https://deadline.com/2024/08/jared-padalecki-fire-country-season-3-guest-arc-spinoff-1236034929/

Jared Padalecki Joins ‘Fire Country’ For Guest Arc That Could Lead To New Franchise Offshoot EXCLUSIVE: Jared Padalecki is returning to series television. The former Supernatural star, coming off a four-season run as the lead of Walker, has been tapped for a three-episode arc on the upcoming third season of CBS‘ hit drama series Fire Country, headlined and executive produced by Max Thieriot. He will play Camden, a SoCal firefighter and maverick with a surfer swagger who is a force to be reckoned with and immediately recognizes Bode’s (Thieriot) raw talent. The deal with Fire Country producer CBS Studios is strictly for the recurring role, sources said. Given Padalecki’s status as a popular leading man with two hit series under his belt, I hear there is a possibility for the guest stint to lead to a new spinoff headlined by him that would join the upcoming Sheriff Country. Sources stress that the idea is still in its nascent stages. And similarly to the NCIS franchise, which originated on CBS and has generated four domestic offshoots on the network but has also expanded into streaming with the latest spinoff, NCIS: Tony & Ziva (as well as the streaming/broadcast NCIS: Sydney), a new Fire Country spinoff could be for broadcast or streaming. Reps for CBS and CBS Studios declined comment.

Very excited for this because I enjoy FC and I'm glad he'll get to work with a friend. And I would LOVE a spin-off with him but I don't want to get my hopes up.

This paragraph though made be happy and also wonder if CBS maybe got him in another holding deal??:

Keeping Padalecki in the fold has been a priority for CBS Studios following the end of its CW drama Walker, on which he was star and executive producer, leading to creating the opportunity for him on Fire Country. The Walker was cancelled for financial reasons despite being the network’s most watched series.

The way this sounds is that they want to keep him with CBS and want to find a vehicle for him to be able to do that (guest spot that could lead to spin-off). If he doesn't get a spin-off I wonder if CBS will find something else for him.. Thoughts?

CBS studios definitely offered him a new holding deal because they didn't want him immediately running off to Netflix where his old boss is the chairman of films. CBS is retaining Jared for his ability to create "disneyland set" as well as his lead man popularity.

[jinnie-ret]

video games

genre: teeny angst if you read into it, fluff

content warnings: none

word count: 0.7k

requested: @girlblogger2010

summary: it's nights like these, when you're staring up at the pretty stars, admiring the city lights, that you realise just how much you love your boyfriend

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Your boyfriend had dragged you out of bed the minute he saw you falling into your normal cycle of not looking after yourself. Before he hadn't been there, and that wasn't his fault, Chan was a busy guy, on tour with the rest of the kids and now he finally had time to be with you, look after you, love you.

"Baby, this isn't good for you, come on, at least just step outside for some fresh air," Chan pleaded with you, knelt down beside your lax form in bed, stroking your hair with his thumb finding it's home in caressing your cheek.

"Don't want to," you mumbled feebly, attempting to turn away in bed but Chan had you trapped in place, throwing an arm across your lower back and keeping you closer to him. That's all he wanted, to have you close, but slowly but surely you were pulling away, if he didn't do something now.

"I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have to make you," Chan sighed with a small chuckle at your stubborn personality, trying to keep things light-hearted to mask his worries for you.

After a small battle on the Western Front (your wardrobe), there was one successor (Chan) who had beaten his opponent (you) with valiant effort in getting them to stand down (getting you to put warmer clothes on and convincing you to step outside).

"Not so bad, hey?" Chan smugly said, hugging you tighter to his side.

"It's ok," you shrugged, footsteps falling in line with his own.

"Right, by the end of this walk, I am gonna see you smile," Chan laughed, leaning into you further with a small point to your face.

"Try me," you rose an eyebrow at his daring bravado.

You couldn't help but admire how gorgeous Sydney looked at night. The city lights twinkling as they reflected upon the river, gorgeous colours that imprinted on your mind for it was one of the most beautiful sights you could ever fathom.

"You win," you sighed out blissfully with a small smile on your face, falling behind as you were caught in a trance.

"Uhh, what was that?" Chan grinned widely, staggering towards you with his arms folded.

"You win..." you say a little bit quieter this time, slightly blushing out of embarrassment as you turn away.

"I can't hear you..." Chan giggles into your ear, wrapping his arms around your waist and tugging you against him, nuzzling his face to rest on your shoulder next to yours.

"I smiled... you win, babe," you said at a louder volume this time, Chan laughing even more, and who could hide their smiles at that sound? You certainly couldn't. You'd do anything for this man, in fact, anything you do is already all for him.

"I win!" Chan yelled happily, lifting you up to spin you around, his arms still wrapped around your front with your back pressed against his chest.

"Chan!!" you laughed loudly, clinging onto his tense forearms that were holding you up.

"I win! I win! I win- oh!" Chan had placed you down back onto your feet, spinning you around so that he could brag to your face but you surprised him with a sweet kiss, lips naturally molding together before you pulled away.

"I love you, Bang Chan," you practically sung out, your hands resting on his lower back. He couldn't respond at first, bashfully looking down at his feet before he processed it and kissed you on the top of your head, then gave you a peck on the lips, and cupped your face with his hands.

"And I love you babe," Chan hugged you tightly to him, protecting you from the world so long as you were safe in his arms. When the two of you were together, it was like everything else faded away, like you almost found a heaven on this Earth when the two of you basked in the love you shared.

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[merrybloomwrites]

I'll Be There for You - Platonic Smosh x Reader

Summary: 2020 starts great for reader before covid enters the chat and flips her world upside down. Her friends at Smosh are there to support her through one of the hardest times of her life.

Word Count: 2.5K

CW: covid, quarantine, parent death, panic attack

AN: Was listening to a Smosh Mouth episode and they brought up filming during quarantine and it randomly inspired this story. I lost my own dad during covid and Smosh was absolutely one of my escapes during that time so this story may just be me processing that haha

No romantic relationships for reader in this, just lots of supportive friends.

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From the moment you hear about this new virus, you’re nervous about it. The news stations are trying to keep everything positive, spin it like this is no big deal. But what you see on social media is telling a different story.

You’re not so much worried for yourself as you are for your family. They’re all the way across the country on the east coast while you’re in Los Angeles. And many of your family members have lung issues. While you don’t know much about this coronavirus, it seems to be most harmful to people’s lungs, leaving you to worry. 

It seems crazy to be taking a trip right now, but the threat doesn’t seem to be too bad. Travel is still permitted, and so your group goes ahead with your trip to Australia. You’ve been looking forward to this for months, and try so hard to not allow your anxieties overshadow your excitement. 

It’s a solid group on the trip: Shayne, Courtney, Ian, Damien, Sarah, and Matt Raub. All of you are trying to ignore the increasingly worrisome news and keep things light. You attend two different expos, doing live shows as well as meet and greets with fans. Those bookend the trip, with lots of different activities in the middle, including visits to a couple zoos to learn about local wildlife. 

You hold koalas and snakes, laugh with your friends, and for a little while, you forget all about the bad things that are happening. 

But you can’t hide from it forever. Despite everyone joking about the virus, you can’t help but be afraid. Every day of the trip, more news is revealed, and things look more and more grim. 

Towards the end of the trip you do a couple planned meet and greets at Sydney’s Madame Tussauds. You’re on the verge of a panic attack the whole time, feeling like every person you talk to could be carrying this unpredictable virus. 

Ian picks up on this and pulls you aside during a break.

“You okay?” he asks, concern etched on his face.

“I can’t shake this feeling, like we’re all going to get infected and then bring it back home, and every time a new person comes in the room it’s like another chance for germs to spread. What happens if we get sick? We don’t know anything about this virus, or what it can do to people, and there’s more and more cases everyday-” your rambling cuts off as you gasp for a breath. The panic attack is officially setting in, the room spinning around you as it gets harder to breathe. 

You hear Ian say something, but the ringing in your ears prevents you from understanding him. A moment later Sarah is standing in front of you, catching your eye and encouraging you to breathe with her. After a minute of matching her breaths, you’ve calmed down and gotten through the worst of the panic attack. 

Sarah leads you to the couch, sitting next to you, close enough to be a grounding presence but far enough that you don’t feel closed in. Ian walks over, crouching in front of you and handing you a water bottle. 

“Sorry about that,” you finally say.

“Don’t you dare apologize,” Sarah says. “Your feelings are completely valid.”

Ian nods before saying, “I know we’re all making jokes about this, but I think everyone’s just covering up how scared they are. I’m definitely scared. You’re right to say that there’s so much we don’t know. I’d say don’t worry about all that, but that’s stupid because you’re gonna worry anyway.” 

You laugh at that, feeling much better now knowing that you’re not alone. Ian smiles and places a comforting hand on your knee and you reach out to hold Sarah’s hand as well. The three of you sit for a moment and then Shayne walks in the room saying, “Time to start up again.”

He looks at you guys, sees the redness in your eyes and notices the way the others are comforting you and asks, “Everything okay?”

“Yea, I’m good now,” you answer. “We’ll be right out.”

Shayne nods and walks away. You go to stand but before you can get up Ian says, “You don’t have to go back out there if you’re not comfortable. We can do the rest without you if you need some space.”

“I’ll be fine, but thank you,” you reply. He smiles and gives your leg one last squeeze before standing and giving you a hand up. It’s a nice moment, one where you’re reminded about how wonderful it is to work for Ian. He’s a kind boss, but also like a big brother to you, and you appreciate having him in your life. 

The rest of the time in Australia goes smoothly, and then it’s time to fly home. Sarah and Ian stick by you throughout the long day of travel. You don’t ask them to, but you can tell they’re worried that you’ll get anxious in such a crowded space. Somehow that makes it easier, and you’re able to spend the day joking with your friends rather than panicking. 

You’re exhausted when you get home, saying a rushed goodbye to your friends and heading home.

And then the isolation begins. The world practically shuts down completely as soon as you get back to the states. You go from constantly being around people, to being completely alone. It’s fine at first, you’re exhausted from traveling and this gives you a good excuse to be lazy for a few days. 

You spend a lot of time on the phone with your family, begging them to stay inside the house and stay safe. And they seem to listen, only going out twice for supplies. But apparently that’s all it takes. 

Just over a week after the Australia trip your mom gets sick. It’s obvious right away that it’s covid. For one thing, your mom has worked with children for decades. Her immune system is impeccable, you’ve never seen her get a cold or the flu before. For her to be sick is odd, plus she has all the symptoms, so it’s a no brainer.

And then a few days later, your dad is sick as well. You knew it was inevitable, that once the virus was in the house he was going to get it as well, but hearing it for sure makes your blood run cold. 

He already has a couple of lung issues, and you can’t help but feel like this isn’t going to go well. You hate that you’re stuck on opposite coasts and can’t do anything to help. You call them as much as possible, wanting to stay positive and hearing their voices always helps.

But then your dad gets worse and ends up in the hospital. You finally tell your Smosh friends what is going on. You’d kept it quiet at first, but they picked up that something is wrong. 

You try to continue on like normal, assuring your friends that you’re fine, but they don’t accept that. While they never overstep, you’re often surprised with kind texts or things appearing on your doorstep. 

It’s a particularly bad day. Your dad has just been placed on a ventilator. You get the news while in a zoom meeting, and everyone can tell that something has happened. 

“You okay, Y/N?” Courtney asks. 

You shake your head no and think about what to answer. You could be vague, just say it’s an update about your father and leave it at that. But these are people that care about you, that want to support you. 

“My dad just got put on a ventilator,” you reply. 

“My god, Y/N, I’m so sorry. Did they say anything else?” Shayne says. 

“Apparently the doctors said it’s a preventative measure. Supposed to let his lungs heal. But we’ve all seen the statistics. Most covid patients don’t come off the vent.” 

“If you need to go you can,” Ian says. “Don’t feel like you need to stay on this call.”

“No, that’s okay. I’d rather keep working. Either that or sit in silence in my apartment,” you answer with a shrewd laugh. 

“Alright, well if you need to leave at any time please feel free. No explanation needed, we’ll understand,” Ian says. 

The meeting resumes and you sit quietly while they plan the upcoming Smosh Games schedule. You don’t have any input, and it’s pretty clear you’re not really listening, but you’re comforted by the sound of your friends' voices. 

The zoom call finishes, and you’re left alone with your thoughts. You’re not sure how much time passes, but the sun has moved to shine through a new window as husk begins so it must be a while. 

You’re startled back to reality by a text on your phone. Your heart races, fearing it’s you mom with even worse news. You breathe a sigh of relief when you see it’s from Spencer, his message saying, “Check out your front door.”

Doing as he’d instructed, you see a bag that had been delivered. It’s takeout from chilis, enough food for multiple meals, all your favorites. 

This is just what you needed. Your appetite hasn't been great, but smelling the familiar food has your stomach growling. After sending him a thank you message you dig in. 

Now full of comfort food, you manage to do your normal nightly routine of cleaning up the apartment and taking a shower. You go to bed feeling scared, but supported. 

Three days later, you get the news you’d been dreading. Your moms calls in the morning, saying the doctors think he won’t make it through the day. It’s a Sunday, and you have nothing to distract you. People text, but you leave them unanswered. 

It’s a beautiful day in Los Angeles, and you do the only thing you’re allowed to do: take a walk. 

Losing track of time, you wander through neighborhoods, making sure to keep distance from other people out walking. It pains you to see happy families, people who are making the most out of this pandemic. People whose lives aren’t being drastically changed forever. 

You get back home in the early afternoon. Soon after, your mom calls. You almost ignore it, knowing what she’s going to say but wanting to delay the inevitable. But you know you can’t do that. 

It’s a short conversation, your mother unable to say too much between the tears. 

You hang up feeling numb. It grows dark outside and finally you text Ian, asking for the next day off. 

His response is immediate, expressing his condolences and telling you to take at least the week off. You ask him to send a message to the others, not wanting to have to do it yourself. 

You wrap yourself into a cocoon of blankets, lay in bed, and cry over the loss. 

The next few days you find that you’re exhausted, with random bursts of high energy. You use the energy to respond to your friends' messages, thanking them for reaching out and telling them you’re okay. 

You speak on the phone with Damien for a while a couple days after it happens. While all of your friends are supportive, he’s the only one who’s been through this before. He truly understands what it’s like to lose a father. His experience, his words, everything he has to offer is incredibly comforting to you. And when he says he’ll always be there to listen, you know he’s telling the truth and not just saying what he thinks is the “right thing”. 

And then that Thursday, just a couple days after your dads death, the vlog of your time in Australia is released. 

You get the notification that it’s been posted as you always do, and instead of being excited that a new video is up, it sends you into a breakdown. You’re crying, gasping for breath, and you need someone there with you. 

For the first time since all of this began you cannot be alone. People have been offering to stop by and because it’s been over two weeks since any of you have been around others it’s technically safe. But you always refused, assuring them that you’re fine. 

Now, however, you need people around you. Through tears you find your phone and immediately call Courtney, asking if she and Shayne could come over. She says yes without hesitation and stays on the call while the two of them make their way to your place. 

Needing the comfort of your room you say, “Front door is open. I’ll be in my bedroom when you get here.”

“Just a couple more minutes,” Courtney replies as you climb under the covers. 

“Okay,” you murmur to let her know you heard her. 

As promised she and Shayne enter a few minutes later. Without hesitation Courtney climbs into bed with you, wrapping you up in your arms. You melt into the embrace, sobs ripping through your body. 

When you’ve finally cried yourself out, you pull away and notice Shayne’s no longer in the room. A moment later he walks back in, carrying water, tissues, and your favorite cookies. You smile weakly at him and pat the bed, inviting him to join you and Courtney. 

He sits next to you, and you’re effectively sandwiched between the two of them. It’s comforting to be surrounded by two of your best friends. You’d always been close with them, and we’re happy that nothing changed when they started dating. 

They’re two people who will always have your back, no matter what. They stay with you until the next morning, Shayne leaving temporarily to pick up anything he and Courtney need for the night. 

You hadn’t realized how much you needed to be around people, but it’s clear how much it helps to actually see people and talk to them without a screen. 

Finally, you start accepting people’s invitations to hang out. You make good use of your apartment complex’s patio area so that you can hang out while still social distancing. You don’t often talk about your dad or how you’re doing, but rather about other mundane things. It feels good to talk to friends about something even somewhat normal. 

The other cast members take turns filling in for videos that you’re supposed to appear in. You’d tried going back to business as usual, but found that you couldn’t be as lighthearted and funny as you usually were. Rather than try to fake it, you’d switched to a more behind the scenes role for the time being. 

In May and June, fans start to notice that you aren’t appearing in any videos. Many theories float around, and you decide you’re ready to make the news about your dad public, instead of letting the rumors continue to spread. 

You make a post about your father on Instagram, a picture of the two of you with a caption explaining the loss. Support floods in, from friends, family, and fans alike. 

Though it’s the hardest thing you’ve ever experienced, it’s so nice to know you have such wonderful people who will always have your back.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: Thanks so much for reading! I'm working on two stories for Whumptober, One Spencer x reader and the other Damien x reader!

[wtfsteveharrington]

can we please have something soft and domestic with sydney! we need more content with her

a/n: this is just a lil blurb while i continue working on my actual syd fic <3

contents: mentions of kissing and intimacy but this is just soft and fluffy and delicate is the best way i can describe it.

Sydney and Carmen have a system - She takes Monday off and he takes Tuesday off. That way there’s always at least one of them there in case of any major issues. It works well for them. Gives some sort of work/life balance… Even if they still spend part of their days off concerned for the restaurant. At least they aren’t physically there. 

So, in turn, every Monday night is date night for you and Sydney. 

Sometimes you two spend the whole day in bed. Getting food delivered from the never ending bucket list of restaurants around the city you both wanted to try followed by a grocery delivery to make dessert at home. It was an indulgent day to say the least.

Other days, like tonight, the two of you took the time to get dressed up. She always stood next to you by your shared vanity to help make sure your eyeliner was even, a mess of giggles each time one eye got away from the other. "Sisters not twins, right? I think it looks good either way. 'Sides, helps me if you go in public lookin' a little crazy. Keeps people away from hitting on you."

Sydney always liked to wonder around the house while you finished getting ready. Sure, she knew your closet. Knew the general idea of what you'd end up wearing. But there was something about the surprise of your final look coming together that always took her breath away. She grabs a hold of your hand, gently spinning you around to get a full look. "Damn! Maybe we should have kept your eyeliner looking wack because this is - You look gorgeous."

And the two of you have to be careful because compliments lead to kissing which leads to you to being late for reservations you certainly cannot be late for.

She's got an Uber pulling up to take the two of you down to the Gold Coast - Maple & Ash. You bounce between cheerful small talk with your driver and watching the shops on Rush street go by in a blur. Making a mental note that someone at your job had mentioned there being a bakery right around here and that you needed to check the hours to see if you could take Sydney tonight.

You know it's a cliche, but there's something about Sydney ordering for you that makes your heart flutter. She knows your palette, knows everything you love and what you hate. Some of the ingredients on the menu are lost on you so her taking control is so welcomed.

The two of you always share your plates. Sharing what you both consider to be the best bite of each meal, wanting the other to have that experience. Sometimes Sydney quizzes you to see what flavors you're picking up and she's getting a little too proud watching your taste buds grow the way they have since you got together.

No matter what, the nights always end the same. Sydney holds your hand tight during the car ride back to your apartment, her thumb trailing along your skin. Mindlessly and comfortingly. Even if you're wearing the most simple of shoes she always makes a show of taking them off for you. Letting her hands slide up once they're taken off and message your calves. Sometimes her touch doesn't stop, hands sliding all the way up and taking care of you in the ways only she knows how.

But tonight you're both tired and the relationship is settling into more of this cheesy domestic bliss all your friends tease the two of you about.

So Sydney takes off your shoes and helps you get undressed while you grab pieces for the both of you to wear. The two of you stand shoulder to shoulder in the bathroom while you clean your faces and apple skincare. You found this face mask last week you'd been waiting until tonight to try with her and Sydney realizes she forgot to get more floss and asks you to add it to the group grocery list note you guys keep together on your phone.

She sits between your legs on the couch, curled up on your chest as your fingers run a circuit along her arms, her sides, her hips and her thighs. Any inch of skin you can get a hold of. There's a movie playing in the background as you both stay embraced. And maybe the two of you miss the second act because you're too busy kissing. Maybe the major plot twist is getting spoiled in the background while you're whispering 'I love you' to one another.

Neither of you mind.

[zombster]

mating press

carmen is absolutely drilling sydney’s shit. like pushing her legs into her chest and pretty much leaning all his body weight on her. she has never been flexible but she’s so turned on that she’s making it work somehow.

it took awhile for them to get here. like three years long. carmen was never rough and sydney was always initiating sex. but today that changed.

The Bear was having a rough month. it was December, peak time of the year. always tough on the holidays, but this year was the worst. the flu was flying around.

carmen came home acting all weird with a tent in his poor chef pants and acting all hot and bothered. angry that he was doing everyone’s work since they were getting sick and a little heartbroken he barely had time for sydney. they had barely seen each other. working at separate restaurants meant they didn’t mix business and pleasure anymore but now their problem was the distance.

that brought them here. shy carmen who would die if they kissed in public completely focused on fucking her as hard as he can.

carmens cock isn’t lengthy but it is definitely girthy. stubborn little thing that’s hitting a spot inside of her so sensitive, sydney feels like she unlocked something new in her body. they’ve had mind blowing sex before (at least that’s what they think) but this was something else. she’s sinking into the mattress every thrust and catches her eyes rolling back way too many times for her liking

the room is spinning. carmen keeps getting them both close and then slowing down. taking those moments to rub up and down her legs or squeeze her tits.

sydney uses this time to dirty talk her ass off. saying despicable things to her lover in hopes he’ll finally let her cum.

“god, you feel so good. you gonna put all your babies inside of me, huh?” she moans

he nods breathlessly as he moves a little faster now, focusing on hitting deeper

“keep fuckin’ me just like that. atta boy.”

carmen’s hand reaches out for sydney’s and he pins it to the bed, squeezing tight.

“i know i know. it’s so much. god- we fit together so good don’t we?”

carmen whimpers and keeps speeding up, back to that punishing pace that makes the room spin. it doesn’t take long at all for sydney to feel her orgasm approaching and carmen’s breath hitch.

carmen sends sydney a pleading face. silently asking to cum inside of her and she nods.

before he can even watch it seep out he stuffs his fingers inside of her and kisses her.

sydney giggles and carmen shrugs. “you know i don’t like to waste.”

[thoughtfulchaos773]

I'm having fun with the @sydcarmyfan discovery. I saw this reddit post - a crack theory that Carmy and Syd know each other from a past secret relationship or event, and Carmy experienced memory loss, and he does not remember Sydney. She tracks him but keeps it to herself that they know each other.

Can you imagine?

The double take

Carmy Remembering her tattoos subconsciously...

Can you imagine a fanfic spin of this? Like the film Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind where they forget each other but meet again because they're soulmates!

This would be such a nutty plot twist. I want it.

[soufcakmistress]

new love on the near northside

A/N: haters that ruin the fun will get blessed out and blocked! find someone else to play with, tysm :) this is for all the sydcarmy truthers like me who’ve been in a spiral for two years

Pairing: Sydney Adamu x Carmen Berzatto

“All right chefs, we need to fire four prime ribs, two lobster risottos, and four cream puffs!”

“Yes, Chef!”

“Marcus, 86 the mascarpone for the cherry tart on 20!”

“Heard, chef!”

“Okay I need to see hands!”

The waitstaff gingerly grab the plated dishes from the final station, while Carmy is gently yet firmly reminding them not to smudge the plates as they’re being taken to their respective tables. Dinner service is in an awesome groove right now and Syd is feeling confident tonight. She’s still riding on a high from the last food critic that visited from the Chicago Tribune, who raved over her braised short rib and orzo pasta. There are also other reasons for Syd’s good mood.

“Open your legs, Syd..”

Syd shudders, takes three deep breaths and continues to fire off orders from the expo. The Bear has been packed almost every single night for three weeks. They don’t have much of a waitlist yet, but word of mouth moves quickly in Chicago and the front of house are noticing some repeat customers already.

Carmy joined Syd at the expo, and she can still pick up the scent of his cologne even in the midst of garlic, heavy cream and raw seafood. If she even peeks at him, she’ll lose her train of thought, and that’s the last thing the team needs right now. After having to let go of Josh after his unfortunate episode, her sous Tina has been pulling double time, covering both stations like a champ. She makes a mental note to give her an unbelievable gift and some love this weekend. “How are we doing, Chef? We cool?”

His eyes are so crystal clear and she recollects how he stares through her when they….oh fuck. “Yes, Chef. Runners are getting everything out in a timely manner, and we are turning these tables around. You?”

“Carmy, Carmy, yes—oh!”

Carmy licks and bites his lips and smirks. “Yes Chef. You’re the captain of this ship.” He squeezes her shoulder and goes back to his station as their boucher, Daniela checks in with Carmy about the fat trimmings for their beef.

Fak, Richie and Sweeps were holding down the front since Nat is on maternity leave. Carmy keeps a wallet size photo of his brand new nephew at his station, looking occasionally with a smile. Forty five more minutes before dinner service is over and Syd can finally go puke out back. “Chefs, we’re almost in the clear! Let’s keep up the momentum and sense of urgency!”

“Yes, Chef!”

Every dish is gorgeous. So many painstaking hours reworking the menu. Chaos menu, thoughtful chaos menu, back to chaos menu again. Reviewing and poring over Carmy’s intricate drawings, all the late night sessions, so much money spent on ingredients—it was enough to make Syd’s head spin. Hence why, almost a month since The Bear opened she’s still subsisting on a diet of Tums and Pepto.

She’s eternally grateful for her partners. Nat and Cicero have saved all their asses more times than they can count. Cicero is a hard ass but he adores Carmy and Sugar and has grown to love Syd as well. And of course, the best chef she’s ever had the privilege of working beside is her executive chef, business partner, best friend and now lover.

“Look at you. You’re so wet baby. Fuck—”

~

They��ve managed to keep their love affair under wraps for this long. It’s a struggle not to be able to touch each other when they’re working. Tina and Marcus are too perceptive; they would be found out immediately. Still, Sydney feels like a giddy school girl whenever Carmy corners her in the office as they open the restaurant every morning—both of his hands by her sides keeping her close. He’s so incredibly sexy without even trying and she still gets shy sometimes. He has to pull her chin from her shoulder and make her look at him.

“Don’t run away from me. You know I won’t let you..” And those ocean blue eyes of his again….and his lips are feather light on top of hers. Her knees are ready to buckle and Carmy sensed as much, so he pulls her close to the hardness of his chest and stomach to keep her standing.

She loves how his stubble feels on her chin and cheeks, especially when he drags his mouth down her jaw and lightly sucks on her neck. “Carm, Carm, Carm, oh my god, don’t! If they see me with a hickey when I didn’t have one yesterday, how do I explain that?” Her face is hurting, she’s cheesing so hard.

One hand slides up her chef whites, slipping under her camisole and his agile fingers pinch her nipple while his tongue circles her earlobe. Syd’s learned that Carmy is insatiable. For someone to not be as experienced as he claims—his hands, lips, tongue…always seem to go exactly where she needs them to. “I can’t help it, Chef. You’re just so damn beautiful.”

Syd’s hands roam all over his thick biceps and eventually land in the bushy mess atop his head. Their tongues lave and suck on each other’s and their moans can’t be held back any longer. Carmy pulls her leg up to his hip while he grips her braids, until he hears Marcus and Sweeps come through the back door. They separate quickly and get themselves together. Lusty gazes linger between them and they’re both aching between their legs. Carmy is as red as a beet, and Syd’s lips are swollen from his kisses and nipping. “Right, thank you chef.” Syd walks out first awkwardly with wobbly legs that make Carmy chuckle.

~

Dinner service is over—the kitchen has been scrubbed down, trash taken out, perishables have been stocked away in the lowboys and walk-in, and the back of house staff has skated out. It’s just Carmen and Sydney, in their brand new restaurant. “I’m beat. You got all your stuff right?”

Syd has an overnight bag with everything she needs for a weekend with her babe. “Yes, I do! Are you..ready to go?” Carmy grabs the weekend bag along with her hand and they walk in tandem to his car.

Carmy has been seeing a therapist in addition to the Al-anon meetings and Sydney can tell a difference already. He’s slower to rant and rave and owns up to his mistakes. More eager to hear people out. She’s proud of him—he’s suffered through a lot to make it to this point. They eventually arrive to his apartment and a shower is the first order of business. Syd loves the water pressure at Carmy’s place and taking showers together has been great for their newfound intimacy. They undress each other, Syd pulls her braids up in a high bun, and they just hold each other under the steaming water. This is their time. Away from The Bear. Away from Chicago. Away from the many demands and decisions they’re forced to confront every single day.

Carmy washes her with her pink loofah that’s been made a permanent staple in his bathroom. This is all new to Syd; her heart blooms in her chest at these big feelings she’s experiencing. He’s gentle and doesn’t leave an inch of skin untouched. Syd washes his hair with his expensive shampoo and Carmy’s eyes close in ecstasy. They needed this tenderness. They deserved it.

All cleaned up and fresh, they mosey back to the kitchen for a late night meal. Habits are hard to break. “Spaghetti?” Carmy suggests.

“Yes oh my goodness. Butttt use bucatini instead. And all the cheese.” He smiles in agreement and pecks her on the lips and gets out all the ingredients they need. Julia Child is on in the background on a public access channel, as they converse about the restaurant and Carmy’s nephew and Sydney’s dad and Carmy’s dysfunctional family, the deep loss Syd still feels at the absence of her mom for most of her life. More tenderness.

Pasta is rolled out. Meat sauce is sautéed, seasoned and almost ready. The Shiraz is poured. Carmy can’t stop staring at her in his shirt and boxers. She’s so cute. The pasta boils and he watches her watching the program, fully enthralled. Everything is finally done; he plates everything in his unique Carmy way and Syd audibly orgasms at how the savory flavors meld together especially with the wine.

He grates more pecorino over the pasta and the lull in conversation is comfortable and warm. Not awkward and full of anxiety like with Donna….leaving him constantly overthinking and being afraid to speak. Sydney seemingly knows what he’s going to say before he does and that brings him comfort. They’re in crystal clear alignment on every way and he now knows a semblance of peace.

“Fuck. This is good.” Sydney is damn near scraping the plate, while Carmy is smiling the biggest she’d ever seen from him. They both love when the other eats their food. That sense of pride is undeniable.

“I’m glad you enjoyed, Chef. Anything for you.” He winks at her and she gets bashful and mumbled out that she’s going to take care of the dishes since he cooked. To his surprise, he’s a little more tipsy than he realized from the Shiraz. Carmy drains his glass and pours himself another, while checking Syd’s frame out. His boxers are screaming for relief and a little moan eeks out of him before he can stop it. Thankfully Syd isn’t aware of his moment of weakness.

Carmy swallows and wipes his lips and moseys behind his girlfriend. Kissing and nipping. “I’m almost done here, Carm..” Syd whines a bit at his ministrations and drops the plate into the soapy water.

“Yeah. Not fast enough for me..” Carmy turns her around and leaps with his tongue and mouth first. Her hands are dripping wet but she doesn’t waste a second grabbing his head of wild curls and taking what he has to give. Carmy grabs her legs to wrap them around his waist and Syd can periodically feel him thrust up into her mound, wailing for stimulation that only he can provide.

Their shared affection overpowers the television, and Carmy feels his way down the hallway with his baby in his arms. His love, that saved him in so many ways. He pulls his shirt off, she takes hers off. She takes his boxers off that she had on and she lays on his bed, naked as the day she was born. “Fuck me, Carmen.”

She held in her amusement because his entire neck and face was blood red with the pupils of his eyes blown out. Syd knows that he’s doing everything he can to stay contained, but he knows her better by now—she does what she wants. So she spreads her legs for him and twirls her clit in tandem with a brown nipple. Carmy’s about to explode.

He drops to his knees and explores her love below like it’s never been done before. “Sydney, why do you taste so good? Why do you do this to me..” She relishes in the fact that he’s potentially bruising her with the vice grip he has on her thighs, but yet she’s so afraid that she’s gonna squirt in his face if he keeps gently sucking her clit in and out of his lips like that. His manicured fingers enter her canal one after the other and prompt her to let go. “CARMYYYYYYY!”

His whole chest is drenched, and his eyes are shut tight, his deft fingers rubbing tight circles around her clit with a precision that only an executive chef named Carmen Anthony Berzatto could deliver. Sydney pushed his head away and she’s left trembling with watery eyes. “I-I—i didn’t know I could do that!”

Carmy just smirks and wipes his mouth and drops his pants. Syd still can’t get over him. He has even more tattoos that can’t be readily seen on a day to day basis, he is so cut and muscled and has a cock that should be cast in 24 karat gold. Don’t sleep on the short kings.

“Turn around.” His voice leaves no room for pushback, and she can barely raise up on her knees before he’s manhandling her. He’s learned that he loves doggy with Syd. With her ass high in the air, she is getting impatient as well and reaches behind her to line him up with her slit. Carmy catches his lip in his teeth as he pushes forward and they both groan out a “fuck” that only they could wholly grasp.

On the first stroke, he’s all the way in and Syd fees his sack grazing over her entrance. They’re both in a trance. Carmy has visions of Syd cooking, smiling, cumming, revolving in his mind as well as the score of the last White Sox home game so he doesn’t bust his load quick. Syd can’t get the thought of how intense and sweet he gazes at her. How he commands their team, how his talent speaks for itself, how fucking sexy his jawline is, how big his heart is. How lucky is she? To fall in love with her idol, mentor, boss….and to have him love her back.

The bed is beginning to bounce off the wall. Their volume increases as Syd can’t hold herself up anymore and they fall into collapsed doggy with their fingers interlocked. “I’m so glad you found me. I love you Syd, I love you, I fucking—fucking love you baby!” That set Sydney off for the most expansive and overwhelming orgasm of the night, taking her beau with her over the edge. Carmy’s sweaty forehead lays on Sydney’s right temple—both of them with tears in their eyes.

Carmy kissed every finger tip until their mouths met again, both letting their waterlogged eyes flow free. “I know. I love you too Carmy. We’re never alone.”

“We’re never alone.”

[tentacleplains]

all symbols for eden and sydney??? i wanna hear your headcanons!! :D

hi sorry this took so long!! under the cut because it's almost 1k words haha

put a symbol (or several) and a character/characters in my ask box, and I’ll give you a headcanon!

☾ - sleep headcanon

when you’re sleeping in eden’s bed they cling to you like a koala. which is a little unwieldy and uncomfortable given your respective sizes and occasionally painful because they hold you too tight sometimes.

sydney is a (canonically, i think) poor sleeper and has a scent diffuser in her room to help relax enough to actually get to sleep.

★ - sad headcanon

eden goes and hides away like a sick dog waiting to die if they get too sad. they don’t want you seeing them like that and they feel like it detracts from their “strong protective husband” (gender neutral) archetype. when they come back they act like nothing ever happened.

after [mysterious and unconfirmed canon trauma that probably includes kylar and definitely includes harper], sydney spent a lot of time crying sporadically and having terrible nightmares. jordan and sirris helped, and harper… did what they did, though only time really lessened the frequency of her breakdowns.

☆ - happy headcanon

eden likes to pick you up and spin you if they’re particularly excited or pleased.

sydney does happy stims, though she tries to keep it discreet because she gets embarrassed.

☠ - angry/violent headcanon

eden needs to do something physical to get their anger out. working out, chopping wood, sex, hand to hand combat. whatever makes them sore and gets them to work up a sweat.

sydney tries and mostly succeeds to keep a handle on her anger, but she’s not immune to accidentally snapping writing utensils in half in her hands when pissed.

✿ - Sex headcanon

eden gets really turned on by the idea of seeing their dick/strap bulge through your body when they’re fucking you. whether or not this is actually possible is irrelevant.

at the first possible opportunity after corruption, sydney tries to attend a bdsm/kink party with you. unfortunately for her there are too many people and she promptly gets overstimulated and wants to leave.

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon

eden didn’t originally build their cabin, but they take it upon themself to do repairs when it gets damaged and by this point it’s a bit of a ship of theseus situation.

sydney had a hyperfeminine phase early on in her transition. it didn’t quite fit for her so she eventually phased it out, but her room is still a casualty of that. her bed is covered in plushies.

♡ - romantic headcanon

eden takes some of their romantic cues from romance novels. bodice rippers and the like. whether it works or not depends on if you have stockholm syndrome: eden

syd will swoon and die if you do big, public romantic gestures for her. she likes everyone else seeing that she’s taken, and in such a grandiose way too.

♥ - family headcanon

eden’s parents were terribly abusive, to eden themself and towards each other. this is where their obsession with being a stereotypical protector/provider husband stems from, and because of how terribly their parents treated each other, no amount of mistreatment they pile on you will register to them as abuse because they can justify their actions to themself, and they grew up watching worse.

when sydney started medically transitioning, sirris took it upon himself to research the effects of HRT on the body. syd got rather long and rather uncomfortable in-depth explanations of the changes she’d be going through, but at least she was informed…?

☮ - friendship headcanon

bailey and eden’s friendship started off as transactional and businesslike, bailey being the brains and eden being the brawns. it also started off with a fight, like a hand to hand schoolyard wrestling type fight.

syd likes to hang off of her friends’ arms. she gets very clingy and touchy-feely when she likes you.

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon

eden does wood carving. none of it turns out good enough for them to want to bother keeping, though, so none of it is in the cabin.

if sydney ever gives up wearing her rosary, she’ll replace it with a worry stone around her neck. she needs to have something easily accessible to fidget with to self-soothe. 

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon

eden’s favorite flavor is citrus.

in practice, sydney drinks more coffee, but they prefer tea.

▼ - childhood headcanon

when their home life got too bad, eden would go and climb a tree and hide out in the branches for a while until things had calmed down. this proved to be a poor defense mechanism when the animals started getting as bad as the humans, as is the dolville way...

sydney and kylar picked up their doodling habits from each other. when they were still friends, they’d come home from school each day with their arms covered in each other’s scribbles.

∇ - old age/aging headcanon

later in life eden has to get glasses. if they lived a normal lifestyle, they could probably get away without wearing them, but a hunter has to have sharp eyesight.

sydney starts greying early, partly due to stress and partly due to genetics.

♒ - cooking/food headcanon

eden knows how to make like five things maybe. and they’re completely fine with it they’d be happy to have the same breakfast/lunch/dinner every day for the rest of their life. they can make one (1) vaguely sweet dessert-type thing for special occasions.

syd has only ever used induction/electric stovetops and she’s scared of gas stoves.

☼ - appearance headcanon

f!eden doesn’t shave at all. m!eden doesn’t let his beard get anywhere past stubble.

hrt was generous to syd in the chest department. it was less generous to kylar, who is jealous of sydney’s size.

ൠ - random headcanon

eden pushes through it, but humidity is terrible on their body. their joints get the worst of it but their scars act up too.

sydney’s favorite sanrio character is keroppi.