#keep seeing people in other posts saying how they use a fake name and i was like …0-:

[pinkfishtank]

Back in your arms

Pairing:Bucky Barnes x Girlfriend!reader

Summary:Bucky finally comes back from the blip. And he seemed to have missed you a fuck ton.

Word count:3.5k

Warnings:smut/18+mdni/hickeys/shower sex/pet names (just baby)/fingering/a little angst/dirty talk/unprotective sex/female reader/ FIRST TIME WRITING SMUT IM SORRY.

Prompts:He be missing you a lot/“can you still take it?/fluff? and smut

Author’s Note:LIKE I SAID THIS IS NEW TO ME IM NOT USED TO WRITING SMUT. But this came in mind after I saw some post on here and was like “hehehehehheehhe”. So here I was writing till 5 in the morning. Anyways enjoy and like I said I love tips and advice.

The blip was…weird, terrifying, left the world confused and scared that maybe the rapture had came.

At first it was heartbreaking to you. Bucky had just never came back home. You were confused like many others and that lead you to so many stages of denial, like someone ghosting you or faking their death. Yet you never knew when he would come back. At least you knew it wasn’t just you who had lost the people they loved.

You even went to go see the wall of the vanished, hearing it apparently had everyone’s name on there that had completely vanished from the earth. God maybe this was the rapture, No, Bucky wouldn’t have disappeared. As you thought and constantly started checking the news of any updates like a stupid paranoid freak there was nothing. It’s not like the news could say anything I’m sure they had no idea where people had went. Then you had people who were incels who tried to make up theories, saying the Daily Bugle was always telling the truth, yet trying to watch it made your head spin worse then listening to an Australian accent.

In the end there wasn’t much people could do. Either wait till there was a solution, or accept this was a way of dying weirdly peacefully without torture or pain to them.

You tried to make the most of it. Getting therapy since you probably needed it, checking in on family and friends who had also lost many of the people who they truly cared about. While you sat there waiting at your door like a pet waiting for their owner to get home; weirdly kinky.

Five fucking years, five years of this crap. Useless bullshit of saying that their loved one’s have died in the rapture. You were in denial. Constantly remind you that Bucky was out there somewhere, looking for a way out. He wasn’t one to back down, maybe? No. But it had been five years what was the point of caring anymore at trying to find a way out. Maybe they were really dead, dying on the spot and everyone was just finding their way of mourning by using different predictions or theories since not much had ever been explained on it.

Acceptance was stupid, who needed it, you didn’t. You knew he was gone what was the point of waiting here in your Apartment to hear just that little click sound of the door being unlocked by the keys you gave him. You just needed him because during the night you were scared of the dark, ya that was definitely all of it. Not that he made you feel some sort of softness that made you wanna scream into you pillow; or that whenever you’d see each other some tight warm pit in your chest had you doing flips all day long. But mostly or some dark needy part of you couldn’t forget the amount of intimacy there was. You too were basically animals around each other. Every time you saw each other it was like something primal and hazy took over your mind, body, and soul. It was like you too were hungover each other, always getting lead to bed by him, his hands in your hair either in a nice soft way, or in a way that left you breathless, needy, begging for him to keep pulling until tears spilled down your face. No, this was stupid. Stupid stupid stupid lovey dovey shit he got you hooked onto like a fish before he said goodbye and went poof. And god how you wished it didn’t screw you up so much you had to start using a rose toy.

You sat on your bed, right in the middle instead of your designated side when that asshole was here. You watched some crappy reality tv show that made you think this is where people went when they were full on broke. This is really what you were doing on your Friday night; wrapped up in a big comforter snacking on anything. You got up since you were running out of snacks and you forced to pull yourself together as you walked to your fully lit kitchen, looking around at the empty space like a maniac who watched to much true crime.

Meanwhile your phone was buzzing like crazy.

As you got back you were met with newsletters you signed up for sending you a random breaking news emergency.

‘BREAKING NEWS! It seems to have been that all the sudden everyone from the snap of five years ago have been reappearing right where they were when they had left. This is not a drill people have been reappearing after all this time. Be aware of loved ones popping out of nowhere’

Oh what the fuck. No, that’s a lie this can’t all the sudden just be happening like the world just chose to bring everyone back. Yet again, it wasn’t April, as you quickly checked the date on your phone and sighed. Nope this was real this was pure fucking real shit happening right now. You looked around your room so many thoughts filling your head

What would happen if Bucky found you in this state?

Would he have changed?

Would he still like you?

Was he a zombie?

Okay now that’s just stupid. Right?

Next thing you know it you basically jumped up from your bed and started running around the room. You grabbed trash bags and threw any type of trash you found in your room, candy wrappers, soda cans, twisted tea cans, chip bags. Damn if crumbs were everywhere, you really let go when you lose someone don’t you?

It was like one of those stupid montages from a coming of age movie, music blared in your apartment as the loud sound of your vacuum seeped into the mix. The constant groans of how everywhere you looked there was a new messy problem you had to take care of by yourself. This news really just had to show up now didn’t it? Ya, to ruin your life and make you question everything. Hours and hours of cleaning while looking out at your window, then your door. Just need to hear a click, a sound of the door and you would be running to the door.

Yet after checking around the house to see if there were any more messy spots….nothing. There was nothing. Complete silence that scared you, making you run back in bed and turn on the tv again to the shitty tv. Knew it was a lie. Yet you saw so many post of people reconnecting with happiness in their eyes. That should be you. Where was Bucky? You felt like a puppy in a pound watching all the other pups get picked while you just sat there waiting for that right person to pick you up and praise you for being you. God maybe you were a pet.

It had been a week. All your friends had been reunited with their lovers and friends. When was it going to be your turn to see your man fly through that door and pick you up happy to see you for the first time in what? Five years? Or better he’d lift you up and take you to the bed, showing you how much he missed you. God you were fucked for that being one of your first thoughts. Your body tensed and ached just thinking about the stuff that would go on once he got here.

The day went on, work being…well work what were you expecting. It was boring with employees asking you the same question over and over, you trying to not lose your sanity and tell them to go ask someone else.

Yet once night set upon the city you look out the window, arms crossed as you stood there frozen in your pajamas and a little cardigan hiding any upper part of your body. Your body felt cold as your arms tightened around you like they were trying to replace Bucky’s arms when he held you, staring o ur this same big ass window; just enjoying the bliss.

‘Click.’

You were too in your head to pay attention to anything at the second. Like how your door was opening to a taller figure coming through the door looking around like the place was new.

“Baby?”

Your throat wasn’t letting you breathe, caught, like startled or surprised. You hadn’t even turned your body, not having too. That voice, deep pitched voice that filled the silence of the room. Before you could fully comprehend anything at the moment all you heard was the door carefully shut closed and the sound of step after hard step, getting closer. The air behind you made you shiver in your spine, gently stretching for a moment before the presence of familiarity was behind you lurking in for some sick joke.

“Sorry I’m late.” He whispered his voice just behind your ear, feeling the hot breath against the side of your neck. Until you finally spoke.

“Where were you?” Was that really all of what you had to stumble out of your mouth.

Bucky urged to not let his hands wander over your waist, to not pull you in so quickly. He fisted his hands up before finally speaking after one big hard sigh.

“I honestly got no fucking idea.” He murmured as he took in your full body. All he could think of was how god damn happy he was to see this body again, to have in right in front of him, and in the palm of his hands “but I missed you. Just had to get some stuff figured out before I came to see you.” He proceeded before looking down at his machine weapon hand, whatever you wanted to call his replacement to flesh.

Finally after a good couple of minutes you turned and looked at him, really looked. Seeing the way his muscular body hadn’t seemed to change, just seemed to be more worn out. Had he aged during the blip? There were so many questions going through your head yet you didn’t feel like reminding him of everything he had probably been through the night of the snap.

Before you could think of asking a soft breath left your mouth and your hand lifted up to his robotic arm. The metal cold and tired against your palm.

It was like Bucky’s arm was still there when he felt your touch. Even if that was lie and the machine was still well a machine, your touch, sense made him let out a shivery exhale. He swallowed any curses or words that would spill out and just looked up at your eyes interlocking with his.

“I know you probably have so many questions but I’d rather just enjoy this, enjoy everything curve and trace of your body I’ve been craving for so long.” He couldn’t hold his word anymore, he needed you to understand just how much of the your touch he had needed these past five years

Your breathing hitched and you bit the inside of your mouth, gnawing at the chewy flesh. It was hard not to give in, not to completely fall to your knees and become a stupid mess.

As his face got closer you could feel your breath mixing with his. They way yall looked at each other made sparks flare in each others eyes

“Have you moved on? Were you seeing anyone while I blipped with most of the world” he asked like he knew the answer, but wanted to hear come from your mouth, Hear you say those words that meant you belonged to him. Even when he was gone.

You shook your head slowly looking down and taking a moment before speaking up. “No.”

He nodded smiling a bit, taking a moment for those words to slip into his head. God it felt good to him knowing you were his.

“Join me in the shower.”

“Right now?”

“Mhm.”

And just like that he walked off expecting you to follow, in which you did. Why wouldn’t you? Your body felt warm, fuzzy, like every part of you wanted to remember that touch of his.

As yall got to the bathroom he slowly pulled off his shirt and so did you, pulling off your cardigan revealing the lacy tank top covering the bit of skin it could. As you stripped your eyes were locked on his body like a magnet or a fresh piece of meat. You looked at his arm and curiously tilted your head

“What about your arm….thingy machine.”

“Waterproof” He said firmly before continuing to strip until he was left in nothing. Both of your bare bodies. You watched as he walked into the shower and turned it on, the glass panels quick to fog up. You stood out for a moment watching as you could see him under the shower head getting his hair and body wet. Biting your lip you walked to the light switches and turned on the main light, dimming the room of only the light under the shower.

And once that was done you basically padded over to the shower, walking in before gently closing the door behind you. All you saw was the toned hard body of Bucky’s. Flexing not by command as he sighed into the relaxing heat. Next thing you know you were grabbing the body wash and gently pouring it into the palm of your hand.

“Lemme help.” You murmured as you walked behind him, your small form comparing to his tall rough one. Your hands made its way to his back and gently massaged the soap suds in. Getting every nook and cranny. All you could hear were the faint groans he let in pleasure of the heat. Bucky really didn’t wanna hurry things, but five years of pent up arousal was enough to make any man wild for his woman. With that he slowly turned looking down at your form. Taking in every beautifully curved body part of yours.

“I don’t wanna rush things.” He whispered before looking into your eyes before speaking his truth “but if you just say anything approving I will let go.”

That was enough to make your breath hitch and every part of yours body to tense up with the same arousal you had been feeling all these years. You stayed quiet for a moment trying to fully get your thoughts together before finally giving into everything you had been waiting for.

“Then let go.” You whispered and in seconds you felt those rough large hands wrapping around your waist, pulling you in like a lifeline. Like you were everything he ever wanted. As he looked down at you and took in all of you with his eyes he smiled and pushed his lips onto yours, needing to taste the sweetness of your lips. He didn’t stop, letting it start off soft and hazy, letting the passion drip into your mouth before basically devouring you. Bucky bit and nipped at your lip as you gasped into his sudden desire to make sure you knew who you belonged to, who you had been waiting for all this time.

“Is this what you’ve been needing” He asked in between him feeding his starvation

“Y-yes god yes.” You moaned as your breath hitched and lead to a little yelp but you felt his hands wander, his hot hands trailing up your back then down to your plump ass. He gave it a nice squeeze as he groaned. licking your licks, asking for permission to be let in you let out another quiet moan before you felt him devour it with his tongue diving into your mouth, exploring all he wanted.

His hands were a whole on their own mission though. One resting on your waist as he backed you under the stream of water, hot and nice, just like how y’all seemed to be at the moment. Once he had you all backed up the water flowed between both of y’all. The other hand of his went down your chest, and you knew exactly where the target was going for. Just as you thought of that the gentle circling of your clit started, and you gasped moaned into his mouth while he rubbed harder, quicker, and in all the right places.

One of your hands ran down the foggy glass panel while the other was on the toned muscles of his chest letting you feel him down.

“I missed this so much” you murmured as he groaned and nodded

“I could tell.” He said firmly with pride as he kept going before finding your pussy and gently sliding a finger into there. Your head laid against the tile of the shower wall and you bit your lip before looking up at him with those pleading eyes.

“Another.” You breathed as he nodded and dipped in another before finally curling his fingers, determined to find that sweet spot as he started pumping in and out. The stimulation of the pump and curling left me breathless. With his tongue deep in my mouth I whimpered as I felt those urges to let go, the need to release all over his hands.

“I think-I think I’m gonna”

“Come on baby let it get all over my fingers” He urged as he pumped harder until finally he noticed he hit that sweet spot and you arched your back against the tile, gasping as you felt yourself release and shiver against his touch.

For a moment you just leaned against the wall. Taking that all in for just a moment before looking up at him and his cheeky fucking smile. Bucky looked at you for a moment before pulling out the digits of his fingers out and bringing them to his mouth and licking the clean, not breaking eye contact once.

“You fucking taste delicious.” He murmured against his fingers. You couldn’t help but just watch and get all red in the face like an idiot before he finally ran a hand through his hair under the stream of water.

“Come on baby now I need my fill too.” He said firmly as you forgot about his erection. Your eyes lowered down and saw the thick veiny cock of his sprung against his stomach, already leaking with pre-cum. You couldn’t stop staring seeming like a perv but being in a trance thinking about all the thing he could do to you right here right now made you just wanna cum on the spot right here right now again.

Next thing you know his hands were on the back of your thighs gripping them as he lift them up into the air and against the wall. Making sure you were pinned up all nice with your legs now wrapped around him. Your arms snaked around his neck holding on, awaiting for him

“Think you can still take it?”

“I-I think so”

Bucky groaned and gently pumped his cock a couple of times before rubbing his pre-cum against your slit, making your head fall back from the teasing. You whimpered and squirmed as he chuckled before finally sliding his cock in, inch by aching inch. You could feel the way he stretched you out yet made sure in every way you were okay. He peppered your neck in light kiss and nips, leaving tiny hickeys everywhere over the neck.

“Tell me when to move” he whispered before you nodded and squirmed a bit

“Move please fuck move” you whimpered as a sudden gasp left you breathless while he started pumping into you, pulling out leaving just the tip in, just to pump into you with new found eager. Showing you how much he missed you, how much he was waiting till he’d get back to you.

Bucky cursed and groaned as he drove deep into your pussy looking down to see your pussy accommodating his size,stretching it out till it had a tint of red around the ring of your hole. You could tell he was getting closer, with the way he pumped into you harder and harder. And while he was close you were too, feeling that hot pit in your stomach needing to be emptied. You put your hand on the panel leaving a mark on the foggy glass.

“F-fuck! I need to cum, I need you to cum inside of me” you breathed out as you pulled his lips to yours for one last kiss before all you felt was the grip of his hold on you become harsher until you gasped and felt as the ropes of cum bursted inside of you, while you came on his cock, mixing your juices together in a mess. As he kept pumping into you, you fell limp in his arms, pressing your forehead against his as his hand went into your hair. His pace slowly down.

“I have a lot to explain.”

“Ya you fucking do.”

[asksonicverse]

You dont need to answer but I just wanted to tell you I adore Paradox being like "I hate all of them except" and then listing everyone except like 2 guys, honey you don't hate *all* of them you expressly don't hate *most of them*

Extremely charming characterization i adore it

[Creator Special number 2!]

So glad someone noticed that, I was originally going to have him name EVERYONE except Boost but then I was like “nah, Mania is just too annoying for Paradox to tolerate him”

And thanks! I’m trying to be… consistent with my characterization of each of them and stay in line with canon but like… URGH sometimes I want to deviate so bad just to indulge but I resist!

Needless to say tho, prism is probably going to get more affectionate later on. Rewatched Sonic Prime again and bro is a cutie patootie!

Headcanons… headcanons… hmm

Well, starting with the obvious, Paradox goes to therapy as I’ve mentioned which I think is hilarious. He and Lance are the only Shadows who really have their shit together which is why I think Sonadow works well for them? (we stan healthy relationships guys)

I do head canon that Eight doesn’t like being touched really at all anymore. After the metal virus, he grew so used to the fact that he couldn’t touch anyone that it sorta just stuck. He does it to save people, but not anything more. :(

And while I’m a sucker for the Trans Sonic HC I decided not to implement it in this particular AU!

I really want to include Captain Sonic and Shadow, but I haven’t played nor watched a serious play through of the game. (I’ve only really listened to a bit of the Snapcube dub..)

can someone tell me if Shadow is a Barista or a Mechanic in that game btw?? I google it, nothing pops up. I could’ve sworn there was something about a mechanic.

Uhh I LOVE Sonic Frontiers, fire game. If I include that one, it’ll ALSO be Sonamy since I’m pretty sure that game takes place before SA2 in canon?

I’m trying to keep the Sonics and Shadows balanced but I’d love to add Generations Shadow and Sonic. Just thinking of names already I get “Doom” for Shadow and “Emerald” for Sonic. (Referencing the fake emerald from their interaction in the shadow story)

Unfortunately I haven’t seen the Archie comics or Sonic Underground so I wouldn’t even know where to begin.

Someone also asked about if I’d ever include different AU’s: maybe if those AU creators gave me permission I’d be down to do a collab for a few asks or something!

Nope!

I dunno I just..! … how do I do? I’m fast. And you’re slow. That’s how I did it. /ref

Ahahah just kidding! But I am very fast. A few years ago I convinced myself I was a “slow drawer” because I was in a discord server with someone I looked up to (and holy cheese they could draw out fully articulate sketches in like 30 seconds!)

So I got insecure and taught myself to draw really fast. So now I just.. zoom! This does have a terrible draw back where I will very frequently forget smaller details.

Like if you look at half the posts, Shadow is missing his eyeliner and other markings frequently.

THIS IS JUST HILARIOUS TO ME YOU GUYS. PLEASE—

I’ve gotten SO many asks in my box about using Maria to calm the Shadows down or trying to give Shadows “Maria plushies”

Imagine you’re having a bad day and you get a plushie of your dead sibling thrown at you??? LMFAOOOO

I CANT I CANT I CANT PUT THEM THROUGH THAT 💔 Also I see every single ask.

“Do you all like Latinas” and “sonic which shadow is the hottest/shadow which sonic is the hottest” have all been engraved in my brain

Was joking with a friend on how that second question would come out LMFAOO

Previous | Next

[venus-haze]

Lay All Your Love on Me (Homelander x Reader)

Summary: A communication breakdown has unintended consequences, but it’s all because Homelander loves you.

Note: Gender neutral reader and no descriptors are used. This is based on a request from @judyfromfinance and the ABBA song which is so Homelander coded. Do not interact if you’re under 18 or post thinspo/ED content.

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: Jealousy, possessive behavior, violence (not toward the reader). We love miscommunication for plot reasons here! Do not interact if you’re under 18.

Homelander had no reason to believe you were hiding from him. Your job kept you busy, and ironically enough, working for the same company didn’t guarantee that you’d see each other nearly as much as he’d like. When his texts went unanswered and he couldn’t so much as hear you during the day, though, his mind went into overdrive presenting him with every worst case scenario it could possibly conceive of.

Cheat. Cheat. Cheat.

His gloved hands balled into fists at his side. You would never cheat on him. He knew that. He did. But sometimes, it seemed like your heart didn’t ache for him the way his did for yours. You had a life outside of him, and as much as you tried to include him in it, he resisted. Things would be easier if it were just the two of you.

Trying your phone again, he called you, frustrated when it went straight to voicemail.

“Hey babe, it’s me. I’ve been trying to reach you all day. Give me a call back as soon as you can. I love you,” he said, adding a quick. “Call me back" for emphasis.

He groaned, throwing his phone aside and folding his arms over his chest. It was fine. He didn’t care that much anyway. At least that’s what he told himself as he glanced at his discarded phone every few seconds in hopes you’d call or text back. No dice.

As a last resort, he headed to the crime analytics department. You managed a small team of analysts who consulted with the state and federal government on Vought’s behalf. The two of you had met when Vought was trying to get supes in the military, and as far as Homelander was concerned, it was love at first sight.

Never mind that it took a few weeks to win you over, frustratingly committed to your job and hesitant to date a coworker. Even though he’d hardly consider the two of you coworkers. Sure, you both worked for Vought, but that was it as far as he was concerned. In his determination to woo you, he’d made some valuable connections in your department. At least, people who he knew would have some kind of scoop on you when he needed it.

“Hey Annika,” Homelander said, startling the young crime analyst as he approached her desk. “How’re you doing, pal?

“Hi Homelander,” she said, not quite able to keep eye contact with him. “Sir. I’m good. H-How are you?”

“You haven’t seen Y/N around today, have you?”

She shook her head. “Sorry.”

“Alright,” he said tensely, a painfully fake smile spreading across his face. “Keep up the good work.”

His smile faltered as he heard your name come up in a conversation on the other side of the room. A masculine voice, younger than his, far too much mirth for his liking when he spoke about you.

“Dude, I was in Y/N’s office for like an hour yesterday. I could barely concentrate. They are so fine.”

“You’re insane,” someone else laughed.

“What? Have you seen them?”

“They’re dating Homelander, dumbass.”

“Whatever. It won’t last. He and Maeve will get back together, and yours truly will be there to pick up the pieces.”

“If you say so.”

Homelander hadn’t noticed his eyes glowing red until Annika squeaked. Letting out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding, he looked at his…acquaintance.

“See you around,” he said, his chipper tone clearly strained.

Since you weren’t answering your phone and he still had no clue where you were, Homelander had all the time in the world to wait around for your sleazy subordinate to take a bathroom break. He wondered if you were aware of the man’s interest in you. It was a possibility, but he had to assure himself that you wouldn’t do anything to encourage it. He knew you wouldn’t bother with a miscreant like that, of all people, but the point needed to be made. No one could speak so vulgarly about you and expect him not to do something about it.

Fifteen minutes or so had passed, and Homelander spotted his name badge. Josh.

“Hey Josh! You have a minute, buddy?” Homelander asked, voice booming through the hallway, causing Josh to flinch. Homelander smirked a bit.

“Homelander! Is there something you need?”

“Yeah, actually, I just have a question about the crime analytics office.”

Josh nodded. “Sure, anything.”

“Did you see any Greek letters in there?”

“Wh-What?”

“Did you see any Greek letters in there? Maybe a keg and some drunk idiots wearing togas?”

“I don’t—“

“Did you?”

“No.”

“Then why were you in there talking about my partner like you were in a fucking frat house?” Homelander asked, cornering the slimy analyst. “You know Y/N and I are dating, right? Your idiot friend told you as much.”

Josh’s mouth flopped open and closed like one of the disgusting fish The Deep crusaded for. “I—I didn’t mean—“

“So either you’re incredibly stupid, or you have a death wish. Which one is it, buddy?”

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Homelander.”

Homelander chuckled, empty and hollow, reveling in the way he could practically smell the fear radiating off of the man in front of him. “You will be.”

With the way Josh was carrying on, Homelander would’ve thought he’d actually killed the guy. All he’d done was snap his arm and throw an elbow to his nose. He’d just bought the asshole a free rhinoplasty, far more generous than he deserved after what he did. 

Homelander sneered at the blubbering crime analyst, work shirt covered in his own blood. Pathetic, really. And he had the audacity to act like he was worthy of you. Throwing one final glare Josh’s way, Homelander walked off, wiping the blood off his gloves and onto his suit. It could be dry-cleaned out.

The outburst made him feel better than he had all day, though it didn’t answer the question of where the hell you were and why you weren’t answering him. Besides, he swore he heard the familiar sound of your footfall in the lobby. 

He supposed you wouldn’t be too happy if you came back to see one of your subordinates brutalized in the hallway. Just his luck, he spotted an intern in one of the unoccupied offices.

“Hey,” Homelander said, pausing a moment to read the intern’s badge, “Sammy, there’s a mess over by the crime analytics office, can you get someone to clean it up?” 

“Sure,” Sammy responded cheerfully.

“Thanks, it’s the little things that make this place run. You’re doing great,” he complimented, giving her a friendly pat on the shoulder.

Sammy returned his smile, obviously not questioning his sincerity. Homelander knew if he framed the whole thing as a favor, she’d be more likely to follow through. It was always good to have reliable people in his back pocket for things like that, worker bees who thought they were friends or something. She walked off, strides purposeful as she set off to complete her personal mission from Homelander.

Rushing over to the elevator, he listened for you, getting out on the fifteenth floor where he saw you just as you walked out of the bathroom. 

As soon as he made eye contact, he melted, making a beeline for you.

You smiled, wrapping your arms around Homelander. “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.”

“Where were you?” he asked, almost painfully returning your embrace.

“I told you I was presenting for the security council at the UN all day. No phones, remember?”

He huffed, releasing you from the hug. Fuck. “I guess—maybe that rings a bell. You shouldn’t tell me something so important while I’m distracted.”

“How much did you miss me?” you teased, holding up your pointer finger and thumb to pinch the air. “This much?” You spread your fingers wider. “This much?” Wider again, except before you could ask, Homelander scooped you up in his arms.

“Why don’t I show you?”

“Please do,” you said, tilting your head up to kiss him.

He retreated into the elevator with you, his lips capturing yours in a desperate kiss laced with longing. You giggled at him. You’d only been gone for a few hours, yet he was acting as though it had been days. 

You missed him too, resolving to focus your attention on him for the rest of the night.

Until your phone rang.

“I should get this.”

“Now you’re able to pick up a call?” he grumbled, setting you down.

“One minute,” you whispered, grabbing your phone, “then I’m all yours.”

He pressed the button to his suite, having forgotten to do so in the heat of passion. “You better be.”

You picked up your phone, amused at Homelander still clinging to you, kissing your neck. “Hello?”

“Josh from crime analytics?” you asked, tensing a bit when Homelander grazed his teeth on the crook of your neck. “I haven’t heard from him since he gave me the homicide report yesterday.”

Homelander hummed against your skin, and you let out a whimper only he could hear at the way it vibrated through you. He was smug, and it took you a moment to piece together why.

“Okay, talk to you tomorrow,” you said before hanging up. “What did you do?”

“Something chivalrous to defend your honor,” he mumbled, his lips unrelenting on your shoulder as he pulled your shirt down to expose it.

“I guess I should thank you properly, then? My knight in shining armor?”

He lifted his head, grinning, “If you insist.”

[thescarlettbitch]

Honoring Forgotten Gods

I made a post about Gods Lost To Time, and a couple people expressed how sad it made them, how it feels bad, how they wish they could worship forgotten Gods.

You can. I do, here is how I do it. (A reminder: I am not a priest or a priestess, I am by no means an expert. I myself have only recently started worshipping and honoring these Deities.)

But first, I will say this once and not again

This is an incredibly intuitive practice. If you are going to comment "how do you know you're not working with demons faking being gods to steal your soul?" Your comment assumes two things. 1) that I believe in demons 2) that I believe demons are inherently malicious. I don't believe demons are inherently malicious. My mother believes I was possessed by one when I was a child, but I don't. I believe they are a spirit in this world like everything else and that they deserve respect. If they want to come to my altar, that is fine by me. As long as they are respectful to me and my Gods, all are welcome.

Next,

What are the Forgotten Gods?

Forgotten Deities are the Deities that existed in ancient times who's names and practices have been lost to time. Could be from a not-yet discovered civilization, or maybe they're older than the written word, or even older than humans as we know them, or maybe they were lesser-worshipped in known civilizations. There is no way to know for sure if these Deities did or did not exist, we have no way to ask Neanderthals if they had a God. Their names haven't been spoken in centuries. They haven't been honored in centuries. But if we, as humans, have always had some sort of religion, it's not a far stretch to assume that pre-humans did as well. ("How do you even find out about a forgotten God?")

Prayer

Obviously the prayer is going to be a little different from how you pray to your main deities. We don't know the names of these Gods. We don't know what they represent, or anything about them. I usually start the prayer with "To all who have been lost to time" and go on to my appreciation. "Thank you for keeping our ancestors safe. For teaching them how to farm and how to use the land. For giving them fire and animals and plants to nourish their bodies." Etc etc. Then I give them an offering and say a final thank you, or I express my condolences for them having been lost, say a final thank you, and give an offering.

Building an Altar

My altarspace is currently a mess as I'm prepping to move (not moving yet, still finding a place) so I haven't "built" one yet, but I have a few ideas.

I'd start with a space, obviously, set up a place for offerings, and a candle. It could be on your major altar, or it could be its own space. I'd keep it simple, at least while starting out. Maybe something for the elements, but nothing too big or flashy. As you build relationships with these Deities, you can add and change and remove items at will.

Offerings

I do libations, the act of pouring a liquid directly on the ground, but if I had the means I would 100% burn the offerings. Leaving offerings on your alter space is also a good idea.

Here are some ideas!

Water - water has been around as far back as we can tell. Seems like a pretty neutral and safe offering idea to me.

Fruit - figs are the oldest fruit, but anything. Food is important to life, and for all we know, these Deities are the reason we have them.

Berries and nuts - see above - vegetation was an important part of the diet in ancient evolutionary periods.

Flowers - natural, neutral in my mind.

Wine/Mead/Beer - wines, beers, and meads have been around for lots of years, humans have always been fermenting foods to get drunk.

Bread and cheese - also been around for a very long time

As you grow and build relationships with these Deities, you'll learn to differentiate their energies, you'll learn who likes what, who identifies with masculine or feminine pronouns, you may even be able to give them a nickname to differentiate them from the others.

My Own Worship

Currently, my worship with Forgotten Gods does not stray far from a simple thank you, I'm sorry, and a libation. I don't work closely with any one specifically but rather the idea of them as a whole. I try to say a thank you to them once a day.

[so-i-did-this-thing]

How do I stop being anxious all the time in relation to being trans? I have an appointment to go on T in 2 weeks. I'm anxious about coming out. I'm anxious about someone figuring it out before I come out. Ahhhh. I have a therapist for anxiety but I don't think it's helping.

Hoping I don't make you even more anxious, but the bottom line is some folks *will* find out and you just gotta learn to roll with it.

What has helped me:

Getting good at identifying red and green flags in cis people

It's become a habit of mine to scope out people when I join a new community. I look at profiles, what people post, etc. It's a little tiring, but I try to find the allies and other trans asap in a new fandom or whatever.

Planning for the worst

To be trans is to always have a plan to Get Out of Dodge.

A lot of times, The Worst is really only temporary embarassment. I deal with this by keeping my head held high and leaning into the more "don't fuck with me, I am tired" part of my personality.

Fake it 'til you make it -- I used to have a paralyzing fear of public mortification, and over time have ripped that apart. Sticking to my boundaries helps a lot, and I am not afraid to say, "I will not answer that question."

Here's the thing, though -- people tend to be impressed when you weather the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known, and you'll likely find yourself as someone to be looked up to. Cis folks routinely ask for my advice about their own Big Life Changes, because they have been impressed to see me go through mine. I've also helped crack a few eggs.

Sometimes The Worst is truly bad, and you should always be vigilant here. Again, I know it is exhausting, but always plan for your personal, emotional, and financial safety. Build an emergency cash fund. Cultivate friends who have your back. Always be looking for new job opportunities. Lots of stuff you can workshop with people.

Cultivating a very matter-of-fact relationship with Coming Out.

I focus on any relevant logistics and keep out my emotional backstory. Most people do not need to know how much of a mess I used to be. And I firmly state what I am doing with my future, rather than ask for permission.

My last HRT-related Coming Out email (to one of my orchestras, which is a very gendered biz) was essentially: "FYI, I am medically and legally transitioning from female to male. Just a heads up, as I'll look and sound a bit different at rehearsal -- I have a tux already for the concert. See you Friday!"

That's it. At a company, you can work with HR on your announcement, assuming one will even be necessary in your case based on your transition timeline.

When I changed my name years later, I was also direct:

"I am legally changing my name to Nicholas. It may take a while to update all my clients, so you're welcome to tell them, "Oh, [deadname] goes by Nicholas now. Thanks!"

And when I came out to my spouse in tumblr chat before our first date, it was literally: "Hey, jsyk, I am 35 and a trans man, in case that changes anything."

It takes a lot of practice to get to this point, and is something you can roleplay with your therapist.

Don't be afraid of your past

I am at a place where I will sometimes casually out myself to make a point ("No one ever needs to change the gender field for this form? I recently needed to.") or a stupid joke ("Ever since I was a little girl, I always wanted to be...").

There is a lot of value in the trans experience. You can decide how much of it you want to casually share, but it does get easier each time.

I hope this helps. Being trans means you will be coming out for the rest of your life (obviously, there are times where stealth = safety), so cultivating a no-nonsense, and even humorous, approach will go a long way for your mental health.

[formulaonecrumbs]

part two: what a bland goodbye.

Lando Norris x secret (ex)girlfriend!reader

part one.

(partially requested) @idkwhatsoever04: I need a part -2 where lando regrets leaving reader and she moves on and makes him regret a lot or whatever the ending you prefer or she makes him work a lot to forgive him

summary: lando regrets letting reader go after hiding her and making her feel invisible. she moves on, but not without heartbreak, self-doubt, and him realizing what he lost too late.

warnings: heavy angst, secret relationship, jealousy, heartbreak, self-comparison/insecurity, regret, implied moving on, no happy ending.

A/N: helloooo low-key i was gonna give them a happy ending cause i love my baby lando and i hate putting him in sad situations but then i had a bad day and needed to take it out somewhere. SOOOO i hope someone cries to this, that’ll always be my aim when it comes to angst 🫶 also yes the title is the lyric from loml, i was crying to it earlier and just felt it was fitting. anywaayysss enjoy, my loves ❤️

୨ৎ ୨ৎ ୨ৎ ୨ৎ

it’s always after they lose you that they realize you were everything.

lando didn’t expect silence.

he expected a fight. yelling, maybe. tears. a messy conversation that ended with you forgiving him like you always did.

but not silence.

not a blocked number.

not your clothes missing from his flat. your toothbrush gone. the empty drawer where your things used to be. not the absence of you lingering in every space he used to take for granted.

you didn’t leave a note. didn’t text. didn’t even say goodbye.

and for a while, he told himself it was for the best.

he told himself it was just temporary. that you needed space and you’d come back like you always did. that you’d cool down and realize that being private had always been the safer option. smarter. better.

but days turned into weeks.

you didn’t come back.

and he started noticing the little things.

he’d scroll through his camera roll, looking for a photo of something else, and find a video of you laughing instead. blurry. sunlit. caught mid-sentence.

his chest would ache.

he’d walk past a shop and see a display with that sweater you loved — the one you always stole from his closet. the one he found balled up on his side of the bed the day after the call.

he’d see a meme online and his first instinct would still be to send it to you.

and then he’d remember he couldn’t.

you were gone.

what he didn’t see was how broken you were after.

how you cried yourself sick on your bathroom floor the night you ended it. how you stared at yourself in the mirror and wondered what she had that you didn’t. if it was her smile. her style. her body. her confidence.

you picked yourself apart piece by piece, comparing everything you were to amelie — the girl the world wanted for him.

you stopped eating properly. stopped sleeping. everything reminded you of him. the playlist you made together. the shampoo he said smelled like “home.” the inside jokes that didn’t make sense without him.

it wasn’t just heartbreak. it was grief.

like mourning someone who was still out there, just choosing someone else.

but no one saw that.

because just like he kept you hidden, you kept your pain hidden too.

you didn’t want to be seen crying over someone who wouldn’t even say your name out loud.

so you disappeared for a while.

and when you came back, you weren’t the same girl.

you started going out. not to party — but to feel something other than sad. you met new people. you smiled in pictures even when it didn’t feel real.

and then one day… it did start to feel real.

your smile didn’t feel forced.

your laughter wasn’t fake.

and then there was him.

you met someone new. someone who didn’t keep you a secret. who held your hand in public without flinching. who posted blurry pictures of you with captions like “my girl” and “how did i get this lucky?”

he made you feel seen.

and lando noticed.

he saw the post late at night. a friend sent it to him without a word. just a link and a heart emoji.

it was a picture of you — hair messy, eyes bright, laughing into your drink while someone kissed your cheek. the guy’s arm was around your shoulders. your hand rested on his thigh.

you looked happy.

you looked like you’d moved on.

and that’s when lando felt it — the regret.

not the kind that flickers. the kind that burns.

he’d lost you. not just temporarily. really lost you.

and he didn’t even fight for you.

he let you walk away because he was scared of what the world would say, forgetting the only opinion that mattered was yours.

he kept you in the dark while someone else brought you into the light.

and now he was the one watching from the outside. alone. silent. hidden.

just like you had been.

he thought about texting you. a long apology. a plea. something.

but he didn’t.

because he knew.

he could see it in your eyes in that photo — the peace, the lightness, the way you weren’t looking back.

you weren’t his anymore.

and that was his fault.

he let the world have him. but you?

you were the best thing he never had the courage to claim.

THE END :>

[neverstophyo]

⨳ 　 ʾ apps/sites 4 shifting 　 . 　 ♡

hi! this will be long but i made a list of apps/sites that might be helpful for your shifting journey. reminder that you don't need these to shift but they can be helpful with manifesting, keeping track of stuff, etc.

enjoy! divider cr

NOT SPONSORED BTW LMAO

﹒ 　 ⊹ 　 🝮 　 OO1: NOTION 　 ✩

description:

basically notion is an app for documents and stuff. i have to say this one's relatively known and it's such a huge life saver and i know that probably everyone knows about it already (as they should) but i'm gonna recommend it once again.

useful for:

scripting

dashboards you can add life goals & stuff here you can look up some templates/ideas and see what i mean LOL

cons:

i personally can not think of any major ones because this app is just that good

you do have to make new accounts for the text ai generating feature but i don't know if anyone would use that

additional notes:

i personally love how customizable it is! like you can make each page have a custom icon & header, add widgets, images, and so much more. it is so so so insanely helpful for scripting i'm telling you. or you can just be basic, that works too. there's also a bunch of script templates online including specific ones (like a better cr, fame dr, fantasy dr, fandom-specific drs, bla bla bla) and it's literally the only thing shifttok is good for imo. i'm a big fan of shifterium's templates but there's other people who make them as well and i'm sure you can find some recommendations!

★ 　 ₊ 　 ➲ 　OO2: CANVA

description:

a website + app where you can design stuff from headers down to presentations, posters, covers, etc..

useful for:

album covers for singer/idol drs

book covers for writer drs or something

fake social media posts but there's better apps out there and i'll list them here as well

and much more!

cons:

a lot of things (most of which i think are the good stuff) are paid but you can find similar replicas if you scroll long enough i guess..?? and there's a free trial but i don't know if that helps

additional notes:

definitely my favorite place to go when i need to design something tbh. there's a bunch of templates you can use and the layout is very easy to navigate through! and it's pretty easy to find free alternatives for the paid stuff you do have in there

₍ⁿ⑅..ⁿ₎ 　 ˇ 　 ⩩ 　 OO3: PARROT 　 ❀ 　

description:

parrot is an app where you can record yourself saying literally anything and play it on a continuous loop

useful for:

affirmations (manifesting??)

cons:

i'm pretty sure it's iOS only

additional notes:

personally i haven't used this app (i don't like my voice so i will not be recording myself saying affirmations thank yew) so i can't give it a rating but from the looks of it and based off of recommendations i've seen it's pretty useful. should be a white icon with a pink circle that has a white parrot in it!

≥≤ 　 ﹕ 　 ⤷ 　 OO4: BEHINDTHENAME 　 ◍

description:

a site where you can generate names & even life stories if you choose it (including height, weight, blood type, birthday, nationality and more i think?? at least it gives those for me). you can choose from different cultures and stuff like fantasy & mythology.

useful for:

finding a name & info for your dr self (which is literally you by the way don't forget that!) and potentially other people you'd like to script in

cons:

it really just helps to make a basic profile of a person so the things you can do with it can be a little limited

additional notes:

i prefer using this site for ocs instead but i think it can definitely help with shifting! oddly enough it also shows like a lifespan & cause of death so.. cool i guess!!!!

✦ 　 ﹕ 　 OO5: SOCIAL MAKER/dummy

description:

social maker & social dummy are both apps where you can replicate almost basically anything from the internet from twitter posts to facebook posts, youtube posts, and more!

useful for:

social media stuff especially useful for fame drs, streamer drs, idol/singer drs and so much more

cons:

both apps were deleted so you have to have had installed them before if you want to get them back

social maker is ios only i think?

additional notes:

yeah both apps are deleted but there's alternatives out there like twinote (for twitter) photonote (for instagram) canva (has fake social media templates as i said lol) and others that you can look for (because i personally only use twinote)

⋆ 　 ᶻᶻ 　 　 OO6: HELLOFACE 　 ﹒ 　 ★

description:

basically an app for ai face swapping

useful for:

seeing what your face claim (if you have one) would look like on for example dances, fancams, interviews definitely useful for idol/singer/maybe fame drs

cons:

uses ai (i'm personally not a big fan of ai)

pretty underground so the chances that you might not like it are not low

✭ 　 　 ❒︎ 　 OO7: ROOM PLANNER 　 . 　 ♡

description:

basically what the name says. it's a 3d home designer

useful for:

making your dr room/house

visualizing your dr room/house

cons:

has paid stuff

┊ 　 ‧ 　⬭ 　 OO8: COMBYNE

description:

an app where you can combine items you like from a wide selection of stuff to make outfits!

useful for:

making outfits for your dr

visualizing said outfits

additional notes:

there's other things you can do on the app like challenges where you can compete to make the best outfit i think?? looks pretty fun i might try it HAHAHA

yuh so i got a little lazy here at the end & i know this is prolly not very helpful because most of these apps/sites are pretty well known but maybe just maybe.. i helped someone out...

HAPPY SHIFTING!!!!!

[sassycheesecake]

MEET AND GREET ✨MSBY JACKALS 🐺✨ in one post <3

Atsumu Miya #13

Man’s flirtin' with ya nonstop

The moment you step up to the M&G, it’s like the heavens have send him an angel

Usually Atsumu has a problem with shutting his mouth, but when he saw you, he was lost for words

He calls you lots of nicknames and you’re almost a melting puddle at hearing his Kansai dialect in person

Atsumu keeps giving you this look with his hooded eyes, along with his lazy smirk(YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHICH ONE I MEAN)

Of course, Atsumu’s teammates are used to his flirty nature with some people, they know it’s a show he puts on in front of the world

A cocky, arrogant and overconfident bastard can actually be a funny, loving and protective person in private

They watch with high interest from the sidelines, because the usual confident smartass is actually nervous and gives out an honest smile, not the usual fake ones he uses with the press

But they obviously wouldn’t be teammates if they don’t tease each other once in a while

"Tsum-Tsum it’s been almost 15 minutes since the game, why is your face still so red?" Bokuto’s comment turns Atsumu’s face a couple more shades red and the Setter wishes to sink into the next hole in the ground

ANYWHO

With one unfortunately not too long lasting hug, you say your goodbyes and without your knowing, the sandy-blonde Setter looks longingly after you, like he just said goodbye to his lover

It’s like almost there was a voice inside his head, telling him to run after you

Get a full name, a number, an email, anything he can get so he can contact you

So when the Setter runs after you, ignoring the staff team’s shouts and yelling, he still can see the back of your outfit and he calls after you

Hearing your name being called out in a deep familiar voice, you turn around and find the sandy-blonde Setter halting to a stop right in front of you

Atsumu rambles on about feeling his heart beat faster whenever you speak or look at him and the sandy-blonde has never felt this way before

After a bashful goodbye and an exchange of numbers, the two of you part ways with exciting smiles on your faces

As soon as the blonde twin enters the locker room, he can’t contain his excitement anymore

"Guess who just got himself a number by a gorgeous fan!" 😍😍 Atsumu is so happy he could shout it from the stadium’s rooftops

Despite getting a good chewing out by his captain, coach and PR team, Atsumu doesn’t hesitate to contact you that same night, asking you out on a date ❤️

Kōtarō Bokuto #12

Energetic owl 25/7

So imagine how hyper he still is after a winning game

He’s a living bouncy ball, along with tangerine boy

When you came up to the table to get your jersey signed, you can almost feel his bright energy surrounding you, feeling like it’s pulling you into a hug

He smiles brightly at you, sweat clinging to his jersey, defining his well-built body

You’re trying not to stare but it’s highly obvious that you like the hyper horned owl

You get his autograph, an almost bone-crushing hug and one last beaming smile

You’re feeling a sort of rush of adrenaline mixed with something else as you go home, looking up the next home game of the MSBY Jackals, excited to see Bokuto play again and hopefully have another M&G

Even though you can see your bank account shrinking more and more, each time you feel so much excitement whenever you see Bokuto play on court

His beaming smile, his chest receives, his exciting expression whenever he scores and the way he celebrates with #13 and #21

You’re going to their last game before your bank account goes on strike so you make it count as you go to the M&G

Bokuto sees you coming up again and smiles at the sight of you

So you try your shot

"Hey, I have been to some of your games and I really love the way you're driven by your passion in volleyball and I really like you and I wanted to know if you'd be happy or willing to go out with me sometime?"

The whole table is silent and truth to be told, shocked that someone was asking Bokuto out

Bokuto never really thought much of dating until like his retirement but ever since you started coming to the MSBY Jackal games, Bokuto feels like he wants to show you what he can do, you can say in some sort of way he's trying to impress you

You're standing in front of him, sweating buckets in nervousness, when Bokuto gets up from his chair with a neutral expresion

You're already imagining the worst rejection ever when he stands a mere inches away from you

Looking into his golden eyes, his expression changes from neutral to bashful

"I'd love to"

Kiyoomi Sakusa #15

Fresh-out-of-the-shower-Sakusa Kiyoomi was standing a little bit off to the side in his MSBY tracksuit, hands in his hoodie pockets, black medical mask partly covering his scowl when he was watching some of his still sweaty, disgusting teammates talk and hug fans after their win

He was scrutinizing his teammates in his head when an almost very quiet voice interrupts his judgment towards his teammates

When Sakusa was about to tell the fan off, he turned and saw you

A white mask is covering your face and you have a small jersey shirt in your medical gloved hands

That’s right. GLOVED HANDS

You look unsure, almost scared as you keep your distance between the Outside Hitter and yourself

"Can you please sign this for my little brother? He’s in the hospital and couldn’t come to your game due to a broken leg."

You hold out the jersey and watch as the ravenette’s calculating eyes switch between you and the small jersey

"Don’t worry. It’s not from the hospital, I brought it from home, it’s freshly washed because I know you don’t like unclean things"

And then the most unexpected thing happens

Sakusa comes a bit closer, like a cautious cat and takes the small jersey from you, which has his number on it

"Meian. Hand me your pen please."

The taller man and captain of the team looks confused for a second but hands him his sharpie anyway

Sakura signs his signature and you can roughly see him writing something else on it

You thank him with a respectful bow and leave the M&G area

Sakusa looks after your retreating footsteps, curious and intrigued by your mysterious face and personality

All of sudden, Sakusa feels an elbow hitting his side gently a few times with a clicking noise of a tongue and the Outside Hitter knows that annoying ass noise all too well

The blonde Setter waggles his eyebrows in a suggestive way as he just witnessed the interaction between you and his teammate

"Damn Omi, quite the looker fan ya got there."

Sakusa just gives him a pissed side glance, yet looks back immediately to the spot where you just stood, hoping you will read his message

As you head back to your little brother, you see the message the ravenette has left you

"Meet me at Fumin no mori Narukawa enchi on Sunday, 9am."

In the end, you got his number and got promoted to best big sister ever

Shōyō Hinata #21

Hinata is such an easy guy to get along with. He makes friends everywhere he goes

Even though you were nervous, the M&G went really smooth, as if you have known each other for years

the longer you two talked, the more stuff you realized you have in common

It went from talking about One Piece and volleyball to if the cereal or the milk should come first into a bowl (you did receive a few strange looks from the staff members but Bokuto and Atsumu are gleefully proud of their youngest teammate talking and flirting with you and actually succeeding at it considering his teachers were idiots)

You part your ways after the M&G and you're excited to see the next game (big kudos to your best friend for gifting you season tickets)

"Was I seeing this right? Was Hinata actually flirting with someone?" Shion asks Meian in a whisper in the locker room after the game, still shocked that their youngest kouhai is highly interested in someone or something else besides volleyball

Hinata is more cheerful than usual in training sessions and work out

He tells his teammates all about his excitement every day

"Have you guys seen their smile?". "Aren't they the most beautiful person alive?" "I can't wait to see them again, I look for them wherever I go, hoping I would randomly catch a sight of them on the street.", "I am telling you guys, I am going to marry this person!"

The next time Hinata saw you at the M&G of the game, he asked you out, resulting in you two going out for dinner at a small Brazilian restaurant and Hinata tells you all the stories from Brazil, about his old roommate Pedro and how he has known some of his current teammates since high school, etc.

Yet even if Hinata is a big storyteller, he asks you about you as well, learning things about you and falling for you deeper and deep, the more minutes he spends listening to you

You spend the night at his place and for the next morning, he prepares some different types of açaí bowls, since he still needs to follow his diet plan, but unsure about what you like to eat, he also made some pão de queijo and some tapioca pancakes

It was so good and Hinata confessed that he really likes you and wants you to be his s/o

When Hinata had training again, he first told Bokuto and Atsumu about his date with you, and later his other teammates, to his opponents, to his family to his friends from Brazil

That man is so proud to have you as a romantic partner and cheers you up with his smiles and jokes on bad days, makes you feel like the only person in the world

Shūgo Meian #4

Meian can't remember the last time he had some peace and quiet

A crazy team to keep under control honestly requires a medal for patience

But lately, his mother is getting on his nerves as well

Telling her son to find a girlfriend, a boyfriend, a partner to finally settle down with

She calls him almost every day and whenever she would bring up his love situation, he automatically rolls his eyes at her annoyed tone

Meian is currently tying his shoes in the locker room, ready for the upcoming match against the Tachibana Red Falcons, when his mother called again

"Son, I have found you a compatible match! They're--"

"Mum, I have a game in a little bit, can we do this later?"

"Just promise me, you will go out with them tomorrow! They are very nice and I am not getting any younger here and neither are your reproduction tools!"

Meian is now at his limit, his mother mentioning his private parts is just getting too much for him

"Okay fine! If I go out with this person tomorrow, will you PLEASE stop bothering me about it?"

"Yes. Have a good game my son!" She hangs up and Meian is relieved, now he can focus on the game

"Miya! Stop using my deodorant! Buy your own!" "Give me my shoes back!" "WOOOO! GAME TIME!" "MEIAN! TELL THAT ASSHOLE TO GIVE ME MY SHOES BACK!"

Aaaaand off we go to the next problem

Luckily enough, the Jackals won by 5-4, so Meian is in a good mood the next day

As he waits for you by Komeda's Coffee around noon, according to the details his mother has texted him early in the morning

Honestly, Meian just wants to go back home and sleep, maybe if he's lucky enough, his blind date has both a terrible personality and terrible looks and he can just leave and go back to bed and finish the third season of Bridgerton

As he waits in front of the café, scrolling through Instagram, he hears the sweetest voice his ears have ever encountered

"Are you Meian?"

As he turns to look at you, his eyes widen at the sight of you

Like wow

The way your body moves, the way eyes your shine, the way your skin glows in the sun

When you are close enough to him, he gets an intoxicating scent from you, like gosh he wishes he could just hug you and inhale your fragrance for days

He internally slaps himself for thinking such intrusive thoughts on your first date

You keep talking, Meian guesses how happy you are to meet him because his heart is doing somersaults and his brain feels like it's constantly restarting

"You okay? You look distracted."

"No, no, I am fine I promise. I just have never seen such a gorgeous person before."

And now it's your turn with the somersaults

You both go inside the café, him holding the door open for you, pulling the chair before you sit down (sigh, a true gentleman)

Honestly, when your mother told you you would be going on a blind date with a professional athlete who plays volleyball, you honestly expected an arrogant ass who only talks about how great he is and how this sport is the greatest in the world

Meian is not what you expected

Sure, he is very good looking: tall, muscular, broad mouth-watering shoulders, a body that looked like it was carved by Myron himself

His personality is sweet, a bit inexperienced sure but he solely focuses on you and gives you compliment after compliment

He tells you about his profession, about his team and invites you to his next game in a week

Meian's teammates of course notice the constant smiling looking at his phone and the small nod of his head into the VIP section

Yet the ravenette doesn't care, already planning on marrying you in the future

Shion Inunaki #6

The Libero watches as big groups surround his very popular teammates, like Hinata or Atsumu, screeching, giggling and being excited to be able to talk to the star players

Don’t tell Bokuto

All of sudden he wanted to walk into the direction of the players’ locker room when you stopped him

"Hi." You give him a little wave and a shy smile and Inunaki thinks that you must have switched him up with one of the other players

Sure, he has fans of his own but usually they’re kids and not hot and young people like you

You ask him for a picture and an autograph on your jersey which has his number on it

He’s really enjoying the sight of you wearing his last name and number, it’s almost as if you’re married

You’re beautiful and you play volleyball in your college whenever you have spare time as you both start talking together

Funnily enough, Inunaki went to the same college as you before he joined a professional volleyball team and you actually live close by together!

The two of you agreed on having a coffee date together next weekend when Inunaki has some time off

As you both meet up more and more, your friendship begins to grow stronger, more deeper

On game day, Inunaki walks from the locker room into the large stadium when he checks into the VIP section

His eyes immediately caught yours in the family and close friends section and his heart beats even faster, knowing he has a beautiful partner by his side, always cheering him on

Alexandre Joffe #7

Seven foot frame, rats along his back

Seven freakin' foot soldier

A giant with a heart of gold

When you saw his big stature and his beautiful green eyes, it was like you forgot what to say

Alexandre sees that you’re struggling with your words as you come up to the M&G, your face extremely red as you look at him and wanting for him to sign your small jackal plushie’s shirt

The Middle Blocker feels flattered by your behavior, because mostly people are just very intimidated by his height

But not you

You look amazed, almost like you're envious of him

To be fair, you look incredibly small compared to him

In Alexandre's mind, there's singing birds and talking animals around you, like a Disney figure

He takes the jackal plushie into his large hands, signs it and hesitantly gives it back to you

"Everything okay? Did I do something wrong?"

"What are your plans Friday night?" His smile is dazzling, green eyes shining with excitement

"Uhm I don't think I have anything planned yet, why?"

"How about you and me go to Yakiniku King? I think you're really pretty and I would like to get to know you better."

Wow, well you certainly didn't expect this tonight

Yet, you agree, ignoring nasty looks from the fans behind you and beside you as you exchange numbers

Who knows, maybe it will turn out to be something serious

Adriah Tomas #9

Tomas has known you ever since he can remember

You both grew up in the same hometown and have been inseparable ever since

Until you moved away to pursue your dream career, Tomas stayed to improve himself in his volleyball career

Unfortunately due to your busy schedules, texting became less and less and all of sudden, it stopped completely

At the age of 25, Tomas got a sponsorship from the MSBY Black Jackals, a Division 1 team in Japans V. League

He packed his things, moved to Higashiosaka and is now finally part of a professional volleyball team, like he always dreamed and told you about

There wasn't a day that went by when Tomas thought about you

Wondering what you are doing, how you are doing, and most importantly for him, if you're in a serious relationship with anyone

Yeah classic childhood friend crush developed into something deeper for Tomas, he just always wished he either confessed before you left or at least tried to tell you while you were teenagers

After training, his Japanese teammates Atsumu and Bokuto were talking about their recent hook ups when they asked Tomas about the last time he has hooked up with someone

Even though you both have never been intimate with each other, you immediately came to his mind when they asked

He tells them off, saying he hasn't been interested in it, because he was focused on training and 'didn't have time for distractions'

Thankfully they leave him alone after this yet he can’t help but feel like fate is going to be messing with him

Just one day later, when Tomas is taking the subway home, there is a person that looks just like you

The same color of hair, skin and scent that

When he look-a-like of you turns a bit to the side, Tomas can’t believe his eyes

It was you

You’re here

The same country, the same town, the same subway at the exact same time

He doesn’t hesitate to walk over to you

You’re just listening to your music with your headphones on your way home when a tall man makes his way over to you out of the corner of your eye

Stopping in front of you, you look up quickly and you can’t believe your eyes either

What is he doing here? Is that really the little dimple smiling boy who would always chase you with bugs and share his waffles with you?

My God what has he been eating that he’s this tall? He certainly didn’t have to grow this tall

You both can’t believe it and Tomas looks unsure as he looks at you

You have always been the one to initiate conversation first so you take the lead and Tomas goes along smoothly with it

Before the subway stops, you quickly exchange numbers and stay in contact after you depart

Catching up on the phone about each others lives, Tomas eventually builds up the courage to ask you out over face time while he’s making breakfast

Out of shock of you yelling excitedly, he drops his French toast but can’t help but feel a rush of adrenaline going through his body as he knows that fate gave him a second chance in trying to ask out his best friend and crush

Oriver Barnes #10

Barnes was stretching on the gym floor when he heard his three-year old daughter calling his name

She is a perfect mix of him and his divorced partner

Sigh

It's already been a year since your guys' divorce and Barnes has not been taking it well since day one

The two of you constantly fought over his busy schedule, about Barnes forgetting to pick up your daughter because training went on too long too many times

You finally had enough when your daughter had to stand in the rain, waiting for her father for over an hour, only to end up sick the next morning

Oriver and you fought so much, after that incident you finally had enough and you filed for divorce

Both of you settled for an agreement on when to take your daughter and now it's been going on for about a year now

The Middle Blocker tried to move on but he simply can't

He still loves you since the first time he laid eyes on you

When she hugs her father tight, he sees you walking over with slow steps, holding her Bluey backpack with a tight smile on your face

"Hey." You both say in sync

"What are you doing here? I thought she was staying with you this week." Barnes asks you, trying to make some small talk as your daughter uses him as a playground device

"I know, but she really wanted to come and see you. And I can't keep her from seeing her father."

Your daughter sees Tomas and runs to him, being the Godfather of her, leaving you and your ex-husband alone for a bit

Meian knows how much his teammate misses you, Oriver is constantly talking about you, has pictures of your daughter and still of you in his locker and looks completely heartbroken whenever he sees you leaving with your daughter after it was his turn to have her stay at his place

Oriver looks over at Meian and the ravenette gives a silent nod in return, keeping your guys' daughter occupied as planned

Oriver begins to stand up and you still shocked at the 6'7 height of the massive Opposite Hitter

He looks unsure into your direction, asking if he could talk to you in private

You are surprised and a little bit unsure to be honest but agree nonetheless

He takes you into the meeting room, whenever they talk about after game strategies

After the door is closed for some privacy, your former partner-for-life turns to look at you with a face full of sorrow

"Listen, I know this is extremely shit timing but please listen to what I have to say. I-I know it's already been almost a year, but every day is torture for me. I miss you by my side. Your smiles, your laughs. Just everything about you. Our daughter tells me that you cry almost every night and it breaks my heart, knowing that I can't be there to hold and comfort you.  I still call you 'My (Y/N)' because you are my everything. You are my light, and you've shown me more love than I've ever known. You have graced us with a beautiful, gorgeous, smart daughter. She takes after you in so many ways and I am reminded of what I should have fought harder for. I lost my other half, my soulmate. I feel like there is an empty hole inside my heart that can't be filled with something new. I need you, I want you back in my life. If you'll have me, please give us another chance."

By the time Oriver finished talking, you're both crying

You're taking fast steps towards the Wing Spiker and he doesn't hesitate to pull you into his strong arms

The dark-haired man rests his chin on top of your head, caressing your back while you're trying to control your sobs

Oriver comforts you by just holding you, caressing you and you realise how much you needed it, needed him

Maybe it was a rushed decision after all

You're both in there for a while, until Meian tells him that it's time to start the warm up because the game will start soon

Oriver and you both agree to take it slow, wanting to build up again what you used to have

But out of everyone, your daughter couldn't be happier

[thefluxsystem]

10 mindsets about my DID that have helped my system:

[This is solely for the sake of sharing experiences & supplying food for thought. This post is not implying these takes are the “right way” to view systemhood.]

1. We’re individuals and we’re parts of a whole. We see each other as people in our system, but in a different way than those in their own bodies. We share a brain. We share a life. I’m me, but I’m also him/her/them at the same time. If you take a piece out of a puzzle, it doesn’t cease to exist, right? It’s still its own object. It just doesn’t make much sense when it stands alone. We need each other to be truly complete.

2. Time keeps coming. I know it’s not an unlimited resource, but it’s not scarce either. Okay, so somebody in the system didn’t get to do what they planned today. They’ll do it tomorrow. No big deal. No need to fight about it or stress over “how I’ll ever manage all this”. We’ll simply give it another shot in the morning.

3. Reality is subjective. We’re a very philosophically-inclined system, and I could write books on what “reality is subjective” means. Basically, reality is based on perception. On a societal level, it is based in the common agreement of what something is. If anyone’s perception tests the limits of this common agreement, it is labeled as untrue. This ties into why DID is largely disbelieved; it doesn’t fit in with the common reality (perception) of the average person. So it is seen as fake. And, well, if I’m going to be told I’m wrong for the most basic, inherent part of this disorder… I don’t really care if they disagree with any other aspect of it. My reality is different. That’s okay.

4. There is no original. I strongly believe the Theory of Structural Dissociation. Maybe science will prove it wrong with a more suitable theory to take its place in the future, but it’s what I roll with at the moment. Now, to us, this translates as “there is no original/we were all the original”. We’re Adventure Time fans, so we think of it like the “Mother Gum”. If all of the Mother Gum broke off into people (like PB & Neddy), no specific one of them would be “the original”. Rather, they’d all be repurposed parts of the original whole. (In a less serious way, we like to say “we all came from the primordial personality soup”.)

5. Our body is shared equally. We’ve decided our body has its own identity & “look” that helps represent us as a whole, but doesn’t take after one member specifically. In a gnawingly self-aware way, I know this is a further form of dissociation. But adopting this view changed a lot for us in a positive way. We don’t fight about hair or clothes anymore, we don’t have discomfort around our legal name, we don’t even really have struggles with gender/sexuality anymore. (We identify differently internally, but externally we identify as nonbinary & bisexual. Even if the person fronting at the moment is, for example, a gay man.)

6. Be open-minded to what happens internally. Seems straightforward enough, but we’ve wasted a lot of time trying to “make rules” for each other in the system. The biggest example I can think of is in-system dating. Around 10 years ago, as we became more aware of each other, it became clear that two system members were basically in love. We immediately became defensive. We told them that they couldn’t do that, that two system members being together was absurd & “impossible”. (This view became stronger after discovering online system spaces & “fakeclaimers” that come with it.) Though we regret it now, we shamed those two a lot in the hopes they’d drop it. They didn’t. About 3 years later it became an actual problem. They didn’t trust us; they were fronting & we were coming back to absolutely no memory of it (we usually have a vague idea at least). Eventually, they wrote us a whole thing about how they were going to be together & there was really nothing anyone could do about it, seeing as we couldn’t technically keep them apart. In modern day, we’ve had an in-system couple recently fuse. Upon reflection, we were standing in the way of genuine healing by trying to break up the first two, and we did so solely out of shame. As long as it isn’t genuinely causing harm, we try to be accepting of each other these days. This applies to a lot of other aspects; how system members appear internally, the pronouns and/or identity labels they choose, anything to do with how system members engage with each other, our differing individual perceptions of an event, etc.

7. We don’t have to like each other, but we do have to love each other. Mostly because, if we don’t, we’re holding hatred for ourself. There are certainly members of my system I would never choose to befriend if we were actually separate people, but we’re not, and we don’t get to act like we are. So even though it’s hard, I’m learning to love every piece that makes up “me”, no matter how difficult they try to make it at times.

8. Nobody’s system works like mine except for mine. Meaning, no two systems are going to be alike, and experiences aren’t often going to translate perfectly. This is true for people who aren’t systems as well— everyone’s experience is going to be different, because nobody is wired exactly the same way. Once I took that to heart, it became easier to focus on my own way of being. I could take the pieces of represented/online systemhood that resonate with me & leave the rest (which probably resonates with someone else).

9. There’s a reason for everything. This kind of ties back into the ‘we have to love each other’ thing. Each component of the system is a clue regarding how to move forward. We had someone in the system getting really uptight & controlling, to a point that it was irritating, but, taking a step back, we recognized it was a response to feeling a lack of control. Instead of simply getting angry at him for how he was acting, we were able to address the problem. My collective self is more laid-back for it.

10. It’s okay not to focus on it all. DID is a part of my life for the rest of it, whether I like it or not, but it’s nice to let it be a background thing every once in a while. Who’s fronting? Who cares. What roles do we have? I don’t know. Who’s this new person in my head? I’ll figure it out later. We’re making it through as a team, and sometimes that’s enough.

[formylovetodaryldixon]

“In your eyes.” Daryl Dixon Imagine.

The truth can easily be seen in the eyes of the person you love. That night, Daryl saw in your eyes how much you love him. But the next day after Aiden tried to attack you, Daryl saw who was responsible for the cut on your lip without you saying his name.

A/N: Hi! My name is Vi, I made this page for Daryl a while ago, n’ for personal reasons I couldn't continue, but I'm back and I'd like to keep writing about him, so I hope you like what I'm going to post everytime i have time (: Thanks in advance. Requests are open just in case hehe

A candle on the night table fights the darkness of the room, and Daryl is lying down on the bed of blue blankets in the middle of white walls with you sitting close, admiring the still new place. It’s small but cozy, with a grey carpet that covers the entire room, a desk in front of you and a window behind it that lets you see the night landscape of trees, houses, and fake realities. The apocalypse took your family, your friends, your normal life, and the simplest fears that people used to have in the old world; but in that new one, Alexandria took your guns, and you fear they might take your courage, too.

“Hey…” Daryl says softly, his hand still caressing your back. “Come ‘ere.”

But you are just tired, hoping that it’s only physically, so you lay down on the bed next to Daryl, with his outstretched arm as a pillow and his blue eyes as a reminder that no matter what happens, everything will be fine as long as you two are together. He looks at you in a calm and deep way, with a gaze that can tell everything because he isn’t good at talking.

“I’m okay. I’m just tired.”

You close your eyes, feeling that his blue ones are still on you, looking at you with adoration, just the same way he always did. Daryl pushes your hair behind your ear with his free hand, admiring your strength, your beauty and the way only you can make him feel like a real person. Daryl is shy beyond his hard personality, clumsy to express his feeling beyond his easy way to respond to whoever offended him and you. He exposed himself to you as a true person, good and bad, but you love him sincerely.

Now, Daryl leans forward to kiss your lips softly, then he pulls away a little, watching you open your eyes as you hold a soft smile.

“What was that for?”

“Cause I wanted to.”

Daryl kisses you again, softly at first. You hold his face in your hand, pulling him closer, and he kisses your parted lips to then slide his tongue inside your mouth. You two had hot, deep kisses before, but the candle on the table envelops you both in a private, warm place. The union, the friendship, and the trust you had in each other since the beginning what was led you to get marry, to seal the commitment that existed between you two from the moment you two met, but you hadn’t made love yet. Not in the middle of a cold world that never gave you the chance to do it. Daryl wanted to be special for you and for him, because before you, he had never considered the idea of ​​making love with someone.

His hand slides under your t–shirt, stroking your soft skin with cold finger that make you shiver.

Then Daryl pulls away.

“Is that okay?” He whispers.

“It’s okay, it’s just…” You bite your lips, aware of your heartbeat now. “Tara and Carol are in the other rooms.”

He frowns in confusion.

“So?”

“I don’t want them to hear us.”

For your surprise, Daryl chuckles. He wasn’t used to doing that, but when he did, his gaze became soft, and he starts kissing you behind your ear.

“What if they hear ya moanin’ ma name, peach? What if they hear ya beggin’ for more?”

Daryl removes his arm under your head to be on top of you, but without touching your body.

“What?” You chuckle, just to pretend his eyes don’t have an effect on you.

“I love ya.” He says, and his words take you off guard while he leans down to kiss your neck with his warm mouth. “And m’ gonna make love to ya, peach.”

You can feel the knot in your stomach and the tingle in between your legs when Daryl leans down to the level of your belly. His hot breath makes you hold yours as his beard tickles your skin when he starts kissing it. His hands slide over your back, pushing you up slightly. His timid personality disappeared like a shadow at night, leaving only the strong hunter that touched you gently, and that night, you give him everything of you without any regrets.

You walk down the street, watching again the still unreal picture in front of you. Alexandria is like a bubble in which all those people live in: but separated from the truth, absent from danger, from the cruel reality on the other side of their walls. They have warm beds and water, nice houses, electricity: but it is too perfect.

It's like nothing happened to the world, and you don’t know if pretending until to get used to that life is a good idea… although it is the only life you have now. But maybe you were just too used to danger and there, it is none.

Just one of the two doors in the Monroe family garage is open, and you take a step inside where the son, Aiden, is leaning over a car with the hood open. You clear your throat to attract his attention and he tilts his head to the side to look at you standing there, with your hands in the pockets of your jeans and a gentle smile on your face.

“Hi.” You say while he straightens up. “I’m (Y/N). Your mom sent me to talk to you about the runs. She says you’re in charge.”

“I’m the man.” He smiles walking to you while extending his hand. “Aiden Monroe.”

You smile with courtesy while shaking it.

“(Y/N) Dixon.”

His eyes wide open a little, with surprise.

“You are Dixon’s wife?”

You tilt your head to the side, looking at him with a mocking expression after having heard that before.

“Everyone has the same expression you just made.”

He smiles, hiding beneath his attractive features the face of a demon.

“I’m sorry, but… are not you afraid of him? It’s just… he’s so… he looks so rude… and you so—” But he chuckles, like a good kid. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to offend your husband.”

“You didn’t.” You shake your hand to push that thought aside. The boy in front of you ignored as the strangers who Daryl really was, and you don’t want to waste your time trying to explain something he wouldn’t understand. “So… are we gonna talk about my role in this?”

“Well, i think a beauty like you should stay at home, but…” He smiles walking again to his car. “Basically I just have to teach you and your friends to evade walkers, find the necessary supplements and go home.”

That sounded as easy as breathing… in theory, but you don’t want to argue about his lack of awareness out there.

“Okay.” You say turning around to leave, but his hand closes around your wrist. You look back, frowning in confusion. “What are you doing?”

“I’m really sorry for calling you a beauty… I mean, you are really beautiful but that sounded like if I was calling you weak.”

His grip on your wrist is far from gentle, like the claw of a beast. You look him in the eye like someone who doesn’t fear a dangerous animal, and you keep calm when you speak.

“Yeah. No problem. I’m sure you didn’t mean to say that.”

“Of course I didn’t.” He smiles one more time, stepping a little closer to you. “I'm mean, you are a beauty. That Dixon is very lucky. Would you tell me how he got a woman like you? You’re so hot… and those eyes—”

“Hey.” You separate, even though he doen’t let you go. “I really recommend you to think about what you’re doing right now.”

Your calm but defiant voice lights him like fire, cause the strength and bravery in your eyes fixed on him is a danger he seems to enjoy.

“Relax, honey, I’m not doing anything to you yet.”

You feel the beating of your heart in your throat.

“Can you let me go? I need to go home.”

“With your husband?” He smirks. “With that man who seems to have come out from a cave? Are you sure he doesn’t hit you or something? Maybe I should check your body just in case.”

His other hand tries to hold the edge of your black t–shirt, but you push it away from your body, hard. Your rejection makes his eyes darken, even darker than the rotten blood of a walker, and he pushes you against the garage door. The hard wood hits your back and your head, sending a pointed pain through your body. You hiss through clenched teeth, but you don't give him the satisfaction of seeing that it hurt you.

“Why don’t you try to scream for help, darling?” His body pressed against yours. “I’m sure your prince will come instantly to save you.”

You look into his eyes; to his true self behind that flirtatious smile, more dangerous than a walker.

“I don’t need anyone to save me from a beast like you.”

You tense your free arm and hit him hard in the stomach. Aiden pulls away from you, expelling all the air in his body, but even in pain, he raises his arm and slaps you with the back of his hand. Your face flies to the side, squeezing your eyes shut as you feel a metallic taste in your lip. Blood.

“Stupid bitch…” He pushes you roughly to the ground, your hands scraping against the concrete floor to protect you from hitting yourself too hard. “Welcome to Alexandria, baby.” Aiden kneels in front of you, where you look into his eyes through your inner rage. “Be careful with what you tell the others, because you, your husband and your whole pack could leave today.”

Aiden walks out of the garage and into the sun as if he’s the king of the world. You lick your lip and you know there is a small cut there, and you contemplate your whole life from the floor: loneliness when your parents died to save you, fear, anger, the times you thought you would die, and your desire to live. But this guy with an angel smile, a dictator complex and an ego about to explode thought foolishly that he could ruin you as if you were nothing.

You chuckle feeling free in that world that caught you under its shadow, getting up to walk out of that place. You see Aiden walking down the street, with the freedom of someone who lived safely in a bubble of protection and lies. You don’t stop waking, and you don’t see Daryl and Rick walking a distance behind you, neither his mom talking to a couple, or your family in the porch of the house you all shared, nor some neighbors on their own porches enjoying the day while your heart is beating fast in your chest. But your true courage rises as you approach him from behind, and the strength within you gathers in your clenched fist.

“Hey, asshole!”

Aiden turns unsuspecting, and with a force more than just physical, you punch him in the face so hard that he falls to the ground, scratching his hands against the concrete floor just like you did before, the blood coming out of his nose.

“You bitch!” He yells getting up, ready to hit you again, but just then, Daryl passes you by and he tackles Aiden to the ground.

Everything else goes quickly and is blurry. Aiden’s mother shouts to leave his son, your friends and neighbors approaching while Rick grabs Daryl to stop hitting Aiden, but Daryl pushes Rick with a jolt.

“Daryl, stop!” Rick holds Daryl from the shoulders and he uses all his strength to pull him back and out of Aiden.

Rick stands in front of him, following his movements as Daryl moves from side to side, like a lion in a cage watching his prey through the bars.

“(Y/N)?” Maggie asks, with a surprise inhalation. “What happened to your face?”

That’s the moment Daryl notices the cut on your lip, red and bright under the sun, which only makes him more furious. He tries to jump over Aiden again, who is already standing next to his mother, but Rick holds Daryl back.

He knows it. Daryl just knows who did that to you.

“I’ll fuckin’ kill ya, bastard!” He yells in anger, trying to push Rick out of his way. “I'll break yer fuckin’ hands for touchin’ ma wife!”

For a moment, you thought that your group really would have to leave.

The same night, the wind blows gently like a good omen, but Daryl is still out of control, walking from here to there in the porch, cursing under his breath. You see the wounds in your hands, red and bruised by the fall, your body feeling heavy from the blow against the door, but your spirit feels lighter than a feather.

“It was a good punch, right?” You chuckle and that makes him stop. That is the only way he'd separated for a second from his thoughts. “My grandfather taught me to strike a punch without hurting my knuckles. My parents never liked it.”

Daryl watches you with his confused blue eyes that still want to see Aiden walk down the street just to have the opportunity to kill him. You're strong in his eyes, but seeing you hurt makes him feel hurt, and furious too. He can’t believe you are so calm about that, but Daryl also can see in your eyes that the meeting with Aiden won’t let you sleep that night, neither to him.

You were so innocent to believe that there was no danger there.

“Come here.” You say, opening your arms to him. “You need a hug.”

He's surprised to hear that, but Daryl walks towards you, wrapping you in a warm embrace.

“Yer such a badass.” He tries to chuckle, but he hides his face in your neck. “M' sorry I wasn’t there.”

“Don’t say you’re sorry.” You whisper, stroking his hair. “It’s not your fault.”

A minute later you pull away and you two just stay there, face to face, with Daryl holding your left hand. Despite the anger he feels, he's kind to you, and he kisses your knuckles where your wedding ring is. And Daryl can see in your eyes that you're going to be okay, and that is the only truth he needs for him to be okay, too.

[stormsbourne]

alright listen

I know we're all having an evaluation of how eagerly we believe people who present with even the slightest air of authority and frankly good! we all need to be less credulous of people on the internet who tell lies.

but I think there are also other lessons to learn from james somerton. namely about his raging and blatant misogyny, which I've often seen similar forms of in fandom and on this specific site. to paraphrase bombs himself in the ctrl alt del video, if you see shitty behavior within your sphere, it's important to recognize it and try to fix it instead of rejecting it and asserting that no REAL members of the ingroup are like that. and nerds have a misogyny problem. including tumblr. so let's reckon with it.

do you append "white" or "straight" to your comments about women even when those things have little to do with the topic being discussed, just to make your comments seem more legit? (and no, m/m shipping discourse does not give you a ticket to say it's all straight women -- it's fictional characters, james.) do you often theorize about how (hurriedly appended "straight/white/cis") women are responsible for a problem in fandom, nay, all problems in fandom? have you made up a guy based on a single post that annoyed you and extrapolated to say that all (appended signifier to make it ok) women in fandom are like that? do you see women as uniquely fetishizing, uniquely stupid about politics or social issues, uniquely annoying to talk to? do you assume when there's an issue, even a real one and not the fake ones james made up, that a woman is probably at the root of it?

all of this still applies to you if you're a woman. it also applies if you're gay or a person of color or trans. being an oppressed group doesn't mean you are immune from sexism, and sexism is still rampant in everyday life for pretty much everyone.

your shipping and fandom discourse isn't immune from this. no, I'm not talking about how not enough people like yuri. I'm talking about how women who like "bad" ships like r*ylo or whatever are seen as open targets for harassment. how women who are into "bad/problematic" fandoms are seen as idiots and enablers who deserve what they get. how there's an attitude that women who like shitty bad porn must think it's good, must be too stupid to know better, and must need to be handheld and taught about good, acceptable fiction. I've already talked a lot about tumblr's complete refusal to admit that fujoshi wasn't a term coined by delicate japanese mlm to complain about evil women (and I wonder if james contributed to that idiotic concept), but the way I've seen people assert that women into m/m must be straight, must be stupid, must be lying about their identities, must be hurting gay men in real life in addition to wanting some anime boys to kiss ...

I've seen how some of you people talk about amb*r h*ard, is all I'm saying, and I've seen what you've tried to do to dozens of female creatives that, for some reason, you've decided deserve to be taken down or taught a lesson. I've seen the descriptions you use. shrieking, bitchy, whiny, uppity, shrewish, karen (don't get me started on how karen has been turned into an easy excuse for misogyny). you're not bystanders to what james did and is doing, you're a part of it. sure, you might not have the nazi fetish, but you've said things about women that put somerton to shame.

just a thing to keep in mind while the plagiarism discourse is ongoing. somerton is a shithead for many reasons but this is one that's important to remember because I think people often treat misogyny like a lesser crime, a smaller concern, and it's not. just think of what laws are passing and what views popular movements have of women and then, for one moment, consider that maybe your reflexive need to blame women or pick them apart might have been influenced by the Society In Which We Live.

[lgbtlunaverse]

saw that qin su post and i literly dont think i could ever make out exactly WHY jgy felt he needed to kill his child or if he didnt why did he have to die? like if people found out would that really.....im not laughing but would that rly even be that bad?? like would people really care considering all about his father, their own sexual exploits, and how generally messed up powerfulrich peopls sex lives usually are anyways?? like was there something about the child like did he have a disability due to incest, but even then why would that mean he has to die lol they couldve just hidden him away and tell everyone he died! or just say hes not ~fit~ to be the heir so then he could just have another one lol?? or just have a child with a concubine and name him heir?? do you remember/know the reason or was it like paranoia or shame or

There is a big difference between jgy and his father. Jin Guangshan is the rightful Noble-born sect leader of the richest sect in the Jianghu, and Jin Guangyao is a bastard son of a whore who was thrown down a flight of stairs as a child for the crime of showing up to his father's house, and the reaction by the cultivation world at large to this news was that he had it coming and he should've known his place.

I would say that incest and cheating have a different level of taboo, yes. If it turned out Jin Guangshan had accidentally slept with his half sister that would have been more of a scandal than every single one of his previous exploits ever were, and the child would suffer most of all.

But the nobles of the jianghu don't see jgy as one of their own. They see him as fundamentally an outsider who they tolerate because he's good at his job, has access to money, and keeps his public record so clean they don't have anything to say about him except for his parentage. The moment he slips up they'll pounce on him like piranhas. Which... they do! We dont have to speculate about how they'd react, we see them do it in the story, with calls for his death and lurid glee, attributing his sexual deviancy to his mother's profession. What else could you expect form the son of a whore?

Did A-song have a disability? Maybe, we're told he was a bit slow, but it was subtle enough that no one thought anything of it (certainly not that the cause could be incest) before the news came out. But maybe it was more severe behind closed doors, and the only reason the rumours are so mild its that jgy has worked very, very hard to keep them that way. Who knows!

Why didn't jgy fake a-song's death? who knows! Too many loose ends? An actual dead child means no one to come back one day to ask his parents on why they sent him away, nor any caretakers you'd have to keep quiet.

Have another one? With who? His sister-wife?? (you name this and the concubine as different options so I can only assume)

So why not a concubine? Well, jgy has a chip on his shoulder about cheating and refuses to be unfaithful to Qin Su, even in ways that his society would condone. Especially if it would involve disinheriting his legitimate son in favor of the concubine's child which would basically be spitting directly in his wife's face.

But... A-Song was never the heir. Jin Ling was. Jin Guangyao was only ever acting sect leader until Jin Ling came of age. Jgy didn't need an heir, hence why he didn't need to have another child after A-song died.

So do I remember what this precise reasons were? no! And I never knew! Because no one does! It's left so unclear in the story on purpose, to leave us speculating just like the character are. Because mdzs is a story about how much you can, and can't, know another person. And so it deprives us of crucial information intentionally. jgy clearly feels responsible in some way, but that still leaves a wide variety of possible scenarios, which as I say in the post I love to play around with. (Maybe that other sect leader really did kill rusong but jgy had prior knowledge that that was likwly and still let it happen?) But anything confirmed? Zilch. Nada. We don't know why he did it, we don't even know if he did it. All we have is rumours.

[timeslipcamp]

so this guy right here is what inspired the flower meanings post in the first place, and i figured, "why not go ahead and find the meanings of his nicknames?" yes, chimi, start another post while you still have eight other ones to work on

huuuuge shoutout to @hydrologistshateher for getting a list for me, you saved 19 years of my life

anyways here's the meanings behind the nicknames towa gives people

towa doesn't seem to give a nickname to everyone, which i do think is interesting, especially because haru doesn't have one. why doesn't haru have one? did he meet him as haru and decided everyone else would have nicknames after? how did they meet? where did towa come from???

but i digress. that'll be in my towa theory post later

so let's kick it off with our super tragic girlie!

MC - Dandelion

this one is sooo cute. the first time he called us this i squealed. i love towa dude

dandelions are for the most part a symbol of hope and resilience. i saw another place say they represented strength and springtime. you know what else dandelions represent??? transformation :)

there's an old belief that dandelion seeds will carry thoughts to your loved ones for you, and that's why people make wishes on them.

Zenji - Iris

resisting the urge to sing the goo goo dolls song again you're welcome

irises are one of the ones that their meaning changes depending on the color, so we're gonna go with purple because zenji is purple

purple irises are typically associated with royalty because of how many rulers used them across the ages, starting all the way back when ancient syria was conquered in like, 1300 somethin bce. they also symbolize wisdom and courage, and also admiration and faith. in victorian flower language, you sent these to friends you admired and respected

their name comes from the greek goddess iris, who was a messenger of zeus and hera, a rainbow, and a protector of women. zenji is a protector of women tyvm!! there's also a couple accounts of irises being planted on graves so that iris would show up and help guide the women to heaven.

i do think it's funny that iris is the personal messenger of hera and we currently own hera's snakes. oh shit does that make jin zeus? would taiga or ed be hades? no that's an insane theory, i can't make a post about that

and i don't want the world to see me--

Edward - Rafflesia

world's stinkiest flower. my local zoo has a fake one you can press a button and smell one. shit STANKS let me tell you. funny as hell they have ed "rotting" in bed all the time with this

also called corpse flower or stinking corpse lily, this flower not only has the world's largest individual flower, but it is also a parasite! jesus some of these can weigh 20 pounds. anyways they use other plants stems and grow out of their vines to flower.

these ones dont actually have an associated meaning other than a couple proposed ones from modern times lmao they're just big and parasitic

and stinkyyyyyyy

Kaito - Coriander

i was like why tf is he an herb and then i remembered it flowered too

this one's meaning is fucking killing me. okay so first of all, the greeks named it after koris, the bed bug, because of the smell. and THEN. its seeds have been used since ancient times as an aphrodisiac.

so its meanings are lust 😭 (and health, and hidden merit too but.) this is so funny. coriander likes to talk about love. towa you dog

(it's definitely for the hidden merit but i'm too busy laughing about lust)

Ren - Wolfsbane

the amount of times i've accidentally typed lyca because of 'wolf' is absurd. anyways

so first of all, wolfsbane gets its name because it was believed it could repel werewolves lmao. more practically, ancient shepherds would use the poisonous plants to coat their arrows. this would help them keep predators away from their flocks.

interesting anecdote if you think of haru as a shepherd. what's ren repelling?

in flower language, there's a variety of meanings, especially if you're differing between monkshood, aconite, or wolfsbane, which are all part of the same family. in victorian language, it was said to represent an avoidance of humans, and a few other places have it listed as symbolizing caution, death, and magic. it seems like the lighter colored ones lean towards caution while the darker hues are for death.

it looks like it's also associated with hecate and cerberus in greek mythology, but i'm having trouble finding reliable sources for that one.

and there we have it! i'll definitely add on to this post as we see more nicknames come out, and if someone catches another one, let me know!

there's turning out to be a lot more greek mythology associates than i was expecting, so guess who's got two thumbs and is probably going to finally put their humanities degree to good use

asks and dms always open!

[snoopledrooplecheesedoodle]

Day 5: Hearth: Fem! Malleus Draconia

@yanderecrazysie and @tink2kagome as I didn't give you credit in my other ones but seeing your posts made me go "I need to write these; the kiddos must be fed" so thank you for the inspiration. Hope you guys like hot lizard women.

TW: clingy ass dragon wife, needed a break from writing about men being crazy # feminism, mentions of murder, Lillia's bat dad ass being emotionally manipulative, wholesome and disturbing, reader is not Yuu, Lillia is a platonic yandere for Malleus, mentions of Lillia physically harming you, panic attack, Reader is becoming a bit too accepting

Winter in the Valley of Thorns is...brutal to say the least. Lack of technology meant you had to rely on the roaring magic hearth. Its green glow reminding you of your naive trust in a woman you once considered your friend. A woman who used your name to control and keep you passive.

You deeply admired Malleus for the way she carried herself and how afraid everyone was of her. You were always a bit too soft and too much of a people pleaser, trusting everyone had good intentions. How you got into a villain school you still don't know. How you met was...embarrassing to say the least. She found you huddled into a little ball on the ground in the bathroom, crying your eyes out. Being soft left you open for a lot of attacks from the nasty folks that liked picking on the weak (you weren't weak).

"Child of man why do you sit on the washroom floor, is this something common with man?" You flinch at the deep feminine voice that spoke to your shaken form. Your blurry vision takes in the tall statuesque figure of Malleus Draconia. You would be an idiot not to know about one of the most powerful mages in Twisted Wonderland. Her emerald colored eyes scrutinize your cowering form.

"Oh, I'm sorry, geez I really wasn't expecting anyone to see me like this." You fake a chuckle while furiously wiping away at unshed tears that threatened to spill. Of all of the people to catch you it had to be someone who could smite you for annoying her. The Draconia heir's expression was unreadable especially given your height difference.

"It is foolish of you to apologize to me; do you not know of what you've just done?" You blanch, oh my god she was going to kill you. "No, I didn't mean to upset you! I'm so-" Malleus bends down to your quivering form. "You aren't aware of fae culture? Your education must have been sorely lacking." Her glowing verdant irises displaying confusion and sincere concern. You blush embarrassed to admit you didn't bother to pay attention to any mention of the faerie in curriculum. Malleus offer's you a dainty gloved hand which you accept.

A huge amount of force pulls you up, Sevens is she strong. You feel the sides of your lips quirk upwards as you look at the mysterious woman. "Thanks for helping me up I'm (Y/N)!"

You cursed yourself to belong to her from the beginning

You lay shivering in a pile of blankets glaring at the fae responsible for the magic fire in your room (prison) going out. The black and pink haired menace seemed to be a bit peeved at your rebellious tendencies upsetting the Queen of Briar Valley. "You ought to watch your tongue Royal Consort, her majesty holds your opinions of her higher than my own." Lillia Vanrouge's sing songy voice chirps yet you glare at him.

"I didn't ask to be Royal Consort Vanrouge, don't forget I was kidnapped." It was unbearably true that the fae woman had taken you from (dorm that isn't Diasomnia) and forced you to share a room in Diasomnia together. She claimed that betrotheds should spend more time together in order to transition into married life smoothly. Every escape attempt was thwarted by the overprotective bat fae and two people you once considered friends. You move your hand to itch at the burn scars on your neck from one particular escape attempt.

"Ah yes a method most traditional for faerie folk with more stubborn lovers. You are so lucky that Malleus ordered me not to harm a hair on your head because I'd be glad to teach you another lesson in obedience." The burn scars get hot at the mention of "lesson" as your eyes widen. The older fae was capable of a lot of cruelty despite his youthful appearance.

"Even so if Malleus loved me, she wouldn't keep me here in this horrible palace where I'm miserable." Your sentence comes out a lot more unstable than intended. Lillia's pupils dilate as if he senses your fear which was very obviously displayed on your face. "Aw are you scared? I'm sure you would love to have Malleus come and tell mean old Lillia off." The fae taunts as you curl into your blankets more. Why won't he leave you alone? What did you do to deserve this?

"Please leave me be..." You whisper out but the bat fae's sensitive hearing picks it up. Lillia features soften as he kneels to stroke your hair, unsettling you further at the change in mood. "I have always considered Malleus to be a daughter of mine, her happiness is my own. When she first met you, she couldn't talk about anything else for a month." Lillia laughs sadly as a distant look mists his eyes.

"The two of you were so perfect together both socially inept and overly trusting in the other. Malleus treasured you above all else her first real friend and... mate." Lillia turns to you and sighs. "I only hurt you so bad because I saw that every time you escaped a part of her broke. Even now she's so distant towards me and her...guards." His cold pale fingers lift you chin up to look at you with a stern fatherly expression. "You need to quit acting like a baby. Don't you think if anyone truly missed you, they would have come looking for you?"

Your body shakes with silent sobs as Lillia's icy stare punctures your skull. He was lying someone had to be looking for you. Your friends, your teachers, your parents...

Your partner

You remember how fluttery they made you feel. Such a lively and intelligent Octavinelle student made your heart race. They were so cool and confident. You also remember telling Malleus about how you planned to ask out your crush, how she looked so blissful until you told her who it was.

You remember their charred carcass and Malleus's primal gaze that was so greedy, so possessive, so...dragonlike.

An icy grip squeezes your ribcage as the air is forced out of your lungs. Everything felt too loud and too quiet. The blankets felt so suffocating as you came to a chilling realization.

You were alone and no one cared

As you spiraled you didn't hear the door open nor the clack of boots. The only thing that tipped you off that Malleus had returned was the weight that sunk beside you on the bed and a deep purr echo from the dragon fae. "My Consort you did not attempt to hide from me, are you perhaps ill or..."

Malleus whiffs the air and glares sharply. Lillia was interfering with her marriage and pulling her darling spouse father away. As much as she loved him you were his and he had no right to harm such a gentle creature. No, you must be treated gently like one would hold a dove. The woman gently uncovers your shivering body and softens. You looked so helpless just like when she found you, before you were hers. She removes her gloves and caresses your side gently with a pale hand. Her cool touch made you jerk away instinctively, she was not pleased.

"Did someone hurt you while I was gone?" Malleus was planning on having a harsher discussion with Lillia if you said yes. You turn around and stare at her with your shiny (e/c) eyes. You were gorgeous, ethereal, yet so human. She loved you even when your face was red and puffy from crying. She flinches as she feels a heavy weight land on top of her.

"M-malleus please I'm so c-cold." You look deeply into your wife's phosphorescent eyes, your broken expression made Malleus ache to fix things. You then buried your face into the woman's ample bosoms causing her to gasp with shock. The dragon fae froze gauging if this were some silly human test, when you don't let go, she eagerly wraps her arms around you. She missed this, this willing affection, the heavenly bliss of your touch. She was determined to give you every star in the sky if only to hold you a bit longer.

Softly Malleus raises one hand a green flame flickers in the barren hearth filling the room with warmth. You immediately turn to the source of the heat hoping to gain more. Malleus frowns before pulling you back and casting a spell to make her cold reptilian body warm.

"There there my brilliant treasure, you shall never beg for warmth when I am near. I shall serve as your source of heat and light if only you'd hold me tighter." You look up at your wife's waxen face with awe? No that can't be right, she kidnapped you and let Lillia hurt you. Yet in this moment you saw your beloved Malmal the awkward and mischievous woman who you loved.... Loved perhaps as friends in the pass and yet in this perfect moment.

"Malleus can I ask you something?" You whisper as if speaking to loud would ruin the sanctuary your wife had created with warmth and magic. Her siren eyes glimmer in the hearth's viridescent glow. "Anything for you, my consort." Your stomach feels tingly at her words a light blush setting over your (s/t) cheeks. "Can I kiss you?"

Malleus's eyes widen as she stills, causing you to grow self-conscious. Did you upset her? Your wife looks at you with reverence as if you did the most marvelous thing.

"You are welcome if you wish." You gulp and nod propping yourself up on top of your wife who waits patiently to see what you would do. You lean it breath hitched as you are able to hear how loudly you heart was beating. Or was it hers? Gently you place your lips on the slightly chapped dark lips of the queen your wife. Your wife kisses back but allows you to take the lead, deepening the kiss as she growls steam rising from her nostrils. You pull back with Malleus chasing your mouth as if begging you to stay like that forever.

You look down at the woman beneath you and smile, she was so accommodating. Perhaps you could move on and forge a new relationship. You crash you lips against hers again in a more energetic kiss, causing the woman to gasp. Green glowing fireflies surround the bed as you indulge in your wife's affection.

Malleus held your still form against her eyes narrowed. She had gotten you to touch her willingly and she wanted more. A dragon will take until all the gold is in its horde. She would wait for you because there was something intoxicating in surrendering yourself fully to someone so much weaker than you. The dragon queen chuckles already imaging you pregnant with her brood (no matter your sex you are getting pregnant). Or you could get her pregnant. Magic was a wonderful thing after all. In the first time in forever Malleus let her eyes gently close as she hoped to see you in her dreams as well.

The green glow of the hearth sends whisps of smoke like thorns as the two-sleeping lover embrace each other. Unaware of a very satisfied ward who peeks through the door frame.

Yes, bitches I did it, I've got a paper but I'm not going to finish it tonight. Writing is the only thing keeping me sane and I love the idea of genderbending Twisted Wonderland characters. Also, I'm feeding the submissive Malleus fantasies a bit as I grow tired of seeing him in charge. He may be the king, but you hold all the power in your relationship knowingly or unknowingly. Also, lizard tiddies.

[djevelbl]

Alright! So! Kaboodle has been haunting my head like a cool little ghost roomie for a wee bit now /pos and I just,,,, look my blog is alllll about incoherently screaming into the void that is the internet about whatever is haunting my head this time, it was inevitable that bnuuy girliepop would get her own post ok? If nothing else, then it's surprising it hasn't happened before--

(like with Branzy's post from a while back, this is a character analysis of, y'know, THE CHARACTER??? so yeah! This is about the bunny girl killing ppl on LifeSteal and not whoever the hell talks behind the mic! I don't feel like I should have to say this, but I've seen ppl be dumbasses over LS!Kab AND actual Kaboodle too. so. don't be an idiot over this — you're encouraged to scroll on if you don't care to read it! This applies to any other names I throw around, like always — happy reading!)

So to preface whatever word vomit I'm about to commit, lemme bring it all out already: my knowledge of LifeSteal Season Six (the one that features Kaboodle) is basically One (1) whole recent stream, and maybe three videos all set on the very beginning of the season — don't expect this to be accurate, but I'll do my very best based on what I've got on hand.

With that out of the way, I'll proceed to yank bnuuy girliepop by the hair and into my microscope:

It's no secret that Kaboodle has a bit of a problem with trusting people, even to the point where she called whatever happened with ash "betrayal," when most of us wouldn't consider it that — she was taken advantage of (from what I understand of her POV to the situation), sure, but they were never teammates, they were never friends in the server; she's been having a big problem with trust and how she uses it, mostly because she's very extroverted and people-oriented — less in the sense that she knows how to read people and the little signs within their voices, and more in the sense that she thrives around people. She's insecure over her own survival abilities and her PVP prowess, and as such has taken to leaning on others to cover up her blindspots — she's been leaning on those surrounding her like her life depends on it because, to a certain extent, it does: if you don't know how to fight, you find someone who does and attach yourself to them, learn their tactics, grow alongside them so you can stand on your own; Kaboodle is still not yet there, she's just now realizing she has to stop trusting people just because they were chill with her once.

But she thrives within a group, she's extroverted and is fed energy through chatter and socializing — that type of person will intrinsically have it harder to detach their feelings from being projected onto other people (reason why she considers the ashswag incident a betrayal, even though I'm pretty sure there wasn't any precedent for trust to be placed on him) and as such will simply have it harder to keep to themselves; we can see this so clearly in how she interacts with others: she doesn't move even an inch, no flinch and no instinct to run away even as Clown launches into the air and he fakes an attack on her with the Mace. She follows ManePear around as they sneak close to PrinceZam and baconnwaffles0 to eavesdrop on their conversation, and barely fights back as she gets killed a half hour or so after with no indication of why he would do that. She calls Zam her "frenemy" and while that word includes enemy in its spelling, it also includes friend.

She still hasn't quite let go of Squiddo's betrayal, and while I'm not informed on what that situation is, I can say one thing about it: Squiddo learned from last season that they shouldn't blindly trust whoever she calls a friend outside of LifeSteal, I'm sure (the temporary ban they got for helping Wemmbu with... I think it was his orbital cannon??? Plus his support of the 4Cvit and Reddoons team-up over his support of Squiddo; these things would do that to you), so she doesn't — they allow herself to be friends and have teammates, allies, so on, but they're not above taking sides if that means she gets out on top (their betrayal of 4Cvit leaves this being very clear to the audience — she's done playing around, they're here to survive and win it; as much as one wins LifeSteal, of course) and this is a lesson all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed new LifeStealers have to learn if they want to come back next season: whatever you and someone else had outside of LifeSteal stays outside of LifeSteal — once you're inside, your relationships are inherently different. There's no way about it.

Clown understands this — he's willing to partner up with friends and foes so long as it benefits him, and he's not above getting dirty if that's what it takes; he trusts people as far as he can throw them, and he fucking hates knockback on his weapons. Kaboodle is not exempt from this rule, regardless of whatever relationship they shared before LifeSteal Season Six — she can't quite wrap her head around this notion, especially obvious on her video about her first experience on the server: one of the first things she did in that thing was showing the audience a chart she made on how much she trusts people on the server, and in that chart she singled out Clown by saying that there's nothing that would make her distrust him because they're friends! They know each other! She knows him better than most do!

But he's not the guy she knows — he's most of that man, sure, but she's never experienced first hand how Clown is on the server.

What I find interesting, is that one stream I watched — technically I watched two: Kaboodle's Confrontation stream from the 5th, and Clown's POV of the same conversation; I didn't watch the whole Clown VOD, but it got pointed out to me (everyone thank clownscasino for this) that Clown was scared — to me he seemed more nervous than scared, but the point still stands on this whole thing: Clown was uneasy over meeting Kaboodle to discuss... Whatever it is she wanted to speak about; he wasn't indifferent, curious, bored — he was specifically uneasy over the concept. The conversation hung over his head like a thunderstorm cloud, never leaving and never lessening — he was affected by the idea and sure, it was because he thought she would try to kill him, but doesn't that say a lot about him?

He cares. In the absence of somebody to stay by his side, he's come to care for a familiar face.

... Did you know Branzy had been Clown's teammate consistently for three seasons in a row? (more or less — I'm new to this thing, cut me some slack) that's an incredible number, considering how polarizing and dividing LifeSteal can easily become for its players — they've all bounced around teams and allies like a twink at a fraternity party, yet Branzy had always remained by Clown's side; similarly, Clown stuck by Branzy's. They didn't help each other frequently — mostly because by the end of their runtime Branzy wasn't logging in all that much — but they sure as all hell stayed loyal to one another; there's a reason their duo is so popular, regardless of whether you wanna mash their character together like two Barbies or not: even within the massacre and bloodshed of LifeSteal, the violence and backstabbing and betrayal, the Funhouse Duo/Clownzy have always stood by each other.

Season Six is the first time that Clown doesn't have his bestie of all besties/his work bf around to lean back on — he's left on his own, and while he can certainly survive and even thrive on his own, it just isn't the same; there's no more friendly face he can pick out from the crowd, no more loving person to care for and fret over. He's always been alone, at the end of the day, but it hasn't stung half as much as it does now.

All of this is to say: Clown is an introvert telling Kaboodle to just "not trust people", while Kabs is an extrovert who can't help how she gets attached to people — they're an interesting duo to watch as they discuss, because while Kaboodle says that she's gonna start being more careful around people, not trusting others etc. etc., she still stays put as she watches Clown come down on her, Mace in hand. She still tells him that she trusts him as he's telling her "well you shouldn't!" She still follows ManePear around and gives him iron when she's asked, based on the momentary truce they held, a precarious thing entirely dictated by his hand and not hers.

I get what Clown is saying when he tells her to "not trust anyone — not even me", as he's the veteran between them and the one who has the most knowledge, he understands how the server operates and what the point of it all is, the atmosphere bred within its code and how it spreads like a disease amongst its players, yet it just circles back to being annoying — it reminds me of that conversation Woogie (I think) and Kaboodle had on her video about her first day(s?), where Woogie was undermining her experience, ideas and beliefs, and the only difference is the amount of misplaced loyalty Kaboodle has for (LS!)Clown; she trusts him without him having to do anything, and that's something that goes down wrong with him, obviously: he advises her to keep her cards to her chest, where somebody with less mercy (less love for her, less unwilling care, less desire to see her thrive on her own terms and by her own merit) would've let her get herself killed with that big heart of hers that's in need of affection and attention.

She's so excited as she recounts her last week to a listening Clown, immediately sighing with great relief as he explains he wasn't helping ManePear when he was hunting her, she says "I love Batman" as Clown exclaims he would be Batman and while I don't think cc!Kabs is quick-on-the-uptake enough to have a surface vs deeper meaning line thrown in the middle of Killerbunnies banter that's not necessarily fully in character, I reserve the right to believe whatever the fuck I wish, actually.

He humours her, lets her ramble and asks about what happened to her eye, he follows along with her DC comparisons and takes the time to explain to her what actually happened between him and ManePear.

He says he doesn't trust anyone, but doesn't love require some trust? What a hypocritical Clown, you turned out to be. I hope, if it comes down to it, you show her she matters more to you than those self imposed rules of yours, as I'm sure she'll show you you matter more to her then those rules you try to teach her

[coshinova]

Was thinking about a lil kaishin hc again, as I always do, but then again, I'm me, ans I thrive for side effects of the aptx antidote

Post Conan, I think shinichi would have a lot and I mean ALOT of side effects. Having grown in the body of a child for... let's say 2 years maybe? (I think it'd take a while to finally take down the Black org and when they actually do, the antidote isn't there and they have to end up taking down other branches of the organisation for anything about the poison and then they cheer).

First of all, My favourite one, he has chronic pain. It's mostly from the amount of temporary antidotes he's taken, so the size of bones and muscles changing so many times, yea, that kinda develops it.

He'd have that on and off pain where when it'd come to a random time, he'd just feel ache and stinging everywhere. The first time it happens, he thinks it's the antidote not working and that he's gonna turn back to Conan, but it happens MULTIPLE times for weeks, so he ends up building up a fake name and identity with his mother's help and gets it checked out.

I like to think that shinichi would hide it from kaito during their getting together days. He doesn't wanna worry people anymore, so he ends up unintentionally hiding it, the only people who know are haibara, since she's his kind of doctor, then there's the professor for obvious reasons cuz shinichi just tells him everything, and then Ran. He doesn't directly tell her, she just witness it .

Kaito only finds out when he's coming back from a heist where he noticed that shinichi wasn't there. So he kinda doesn't care to change put of his KID uniform and just barges into the house through the window, and there it is, Shinichi sitting on the bed with a heating bad on his lap and painkillers in hand.

It's hard for shinichi to explain it, so haibara is there instead, and kaito doesn't get it at first and doesn't know what to do, shinichi is fine with that, ye never intended to have kaito deal with it, but then is later surprised when the pain comes back again and suddenly kaito is the most professional care taker put there, (he totally didn't spent the next hours after finding out about it just doing research and going around as an intern or student in hospitals to see how professionals deal with it).

Shinichi doesn't think he's ever fallen for a man harder, he's squealing and kicking his feet at the next moment he can.

Another one I really like to write is the him not realizing hes not conan anymore, and so is his body (and we actually wintesses that in an ep and i found that really funny).

I feel like from changing between the body of a 7yr old to an adult so many times, it's just cause an alternation in everything in his body. I think he'd forget that he should eat in amount that an adult should, and ends up with a kids serving , or even when he's eating out with anymore, like kaito or heiji, one of them just goes "You're not Conan anymore yknow?" And then he just mentally slaps himself and orders something else.

Other than that there's the childishness, shinichi, as shinichi, not Conan, saying alele KILLED me, and he might definitely keep going with that or other terms he's used to. I feel like whoever someone's amazed at how quick he works , he'll just send them that childish grin all happy and stuff. The person who'd catch onto it most is Takagi, he's all like. "Conan used to do this too... hmmm.. what if- no- but- no"

In kaishins pov, I think shinichi would mostly act normal, he's used to being himself around kaito, so it's easy to adjust to him being back again, but maybe he'd make the voice or say something when hanging around with someone who knew him purely as Conan. And kaito would tease him about it for the rest of that night.

The part where his body has alternated is in like. His immunity, which would make him sick a lot more, or blood issues. That guy would 101% get anaemia from that kids serving he eats throughout the day (he definitely forgets to eat) , so you just find the guy all pale and zoning our more often and always tired. It gets to a point where he passes out when out of a trip with kaito, and kaito being himself, DRAGS shinichi to a near by medical center or doctor them finds out shinichis iron or haemoglobin level is like, 4 when the normal is 12, and kaito is struck harder when he finds out it takes A LONG time to get it back up to normal again.

Not to mention he always has some cold or fever, hes basically making kaito his personal 24/7 illness caretaker, and at first it's sweet, kaito being careful and stuff ti starting to think shinichis faking it (he's going through his denial era, don't mind him) and he's all huffy and just forces shinichi to stay in bed all day, then realizes it's real and goes all sweet again.

Shinichis reaction to all this? Tired, he just wants to go on cases and heists but he's always watched by kaitos doves to do that.

Umm that's all for today, thanks for coming to my kaishin rant