#just. i draw really mostly the one guy you know.

[helianthus-hellion]

depends a lot on what kind of hand mobility issues (and other disabilities) one has, but some options i can think of are

- if you can go outside (even a little bit) or have a window, bird watching can be fun - learning to identify local songbirds, and setting up a bird feeder if you're able

- there are some very loose painting styles that don't require fine detail, and large foam grips you can get for brushes to make them easier to hold. you can even start off with just cheap poster paints and cardboard. similarly, you can do really loose/sketchy drawing with pencils with large foam grips

- standard brick legos (or the larger duplo blocks if needed) can be used for making interesting builds even without the smaller, finicky pieces, and you can also make pixel art designs with them

- if you're able to use a phone camera, you can get into photography - this can intersect with bird watching above and/or any other kind of going for walks, but you can also just photograph things in your own house, experimenting with angles and lighting and such

- baking or cooking simple recipes (baking mixes and pre-prepped ingredients can help a lot with this! pre-diced veggies, frozen veggies, pre-shredded cheese - all of them are just as good as the stuff you prep yourself)

- if you have a rolling pin and cookie cutters, you can make a lot of really fun stuff with polymer clay without having to sculpt details, and it can be painted too (after you bake it, clean it with rubbing alcohol and then you can use acrylic paint on it). you can get textured rollers and stamps too, and depending on your dexterity level you can also carve designs into the surface of the clay

- similarly, shrinky dinks! you can draw a big design and it'll shrink down and look a lot more detailed once it's done, and you can even get translucent shrink film and make sun catchers and the like! the best thing i've found for designs on shrinky dink are posca pens if you want something opaque, and alcohol markers if you want it translucent

- i know a few different people who have written stories and/or poems using dictation software, and some types of digital art (especially pixel art if you use Big Pixels) - if you really don't have options off the computer, making stuff On The Computer is better than just doomscrolling n the like

i'm sure there's plenty of other options, but those are just some ideas off the top of my head - and admittedly it's mostly art stuff since i'm very much an art guy, but i also just find it really rewarding to Make Something and then hold the thing i made In My Hands

I read your post about rewarding activities and it was really interesting! I'm phisically disabled and can only really do computer stuff, and I've always had the intuition that having all of my hobbies in here kinda sucks. But I don't know what tangible hobby I could have when my hands won't let me. Do you have any suggestions for that?

I'm not an expert in any such thing; anyone else who can't use their hands have any advice?

As a side note, computer stuff is less effective than physical stuff, but adequate if that's what you have. People kept sane in quarantine with Zoom. There's a surprisingly high number of cases of suicidal people getting a handle on their depression by playing Dark Souls. I warned about the lesser effectiveness of digital stuff because it's a trap I see a lot of people falling into, assuming that digital work works as well as any other kind of work and having the computer take the entire load and getting distressed when it's not enough, but digital work is still psychologically useful, just less so. If that's the limitation you end up working with, you can work with it.

Rewarding activities don't have to require a lot of physical activity, either; tabletop rpgs are popular, for example, if another player rolls your dice for you. Local poetry clubs or book clubs can also be great fun. But again the advice of other people in your situation is going to be more valuable than whatever random shit I (whose hand mobility is normal) can come up with off the top of my head.

[ghostgirl-22]

omg! omg! omg! do you have ideas on older jealous art? like what if he saw patrick on the date with helen at the hotel instead? or maybe saw patrick on a date with another man (grosu? 👀) and got really upset but didn’t understand why!

Oh yes, oh yes….<3

I think Art goes in the sauna, yes that sauna. But it’s before they ever meet up the night before they play the final.

CW: NSFWish, 18+

Summary: in which Art has a Karen moment because how dare you try and take his man—that he really doesn’t want (he promises). And no he doesn’t know what he’s weirdly sexually confused about. But it’s not that.

-/-/-/-

Art’s winning again. He’s mostly playing kids who are just so happy to be there or sad older guys who are so jaded and defeated about the idea of playing him that they’ve beaten themselves before Art even has to do anything. But still he is winning and it does feel good.

He’s trying to put the idea of Patrick out of his mind. Tashi tells him every single day, “He’s never going to make it to the final. He’s gonna choke. That’s his thing.” But Art notices every round he wins Patrick wins too.

His body is sore and he always feels better in the heat but being who he is in the tennis world he usually waits till really late at night to relax in the sauna. He’s sure no one else is going to be there so he’ll get a moment of peace and quiet without any of the younger players gawking over him or asking him career questions. But as soon as he pushes open the door he realizes he’s not alone at all. Patrick’s sitting on the bench and he’s not alone. He’s got some guy kneeling between his legs. The guy quickly gets to his feet when he hears the door and Art recognizes him vaguely from the draw. Victor Grasi or Grossi. Something.

The guy wipes his mouth on the back of his hand and Patrick—very slowly— pulls the towel over himself, offering Art a smirk.

Art can feel his skin heating up. He wants to turn and run but he can’t move. His stomach is suddenly swooping around like he’s riding a rollercoaster. He didn’t know Patrick did stuff like that… with boys.

“What’s up Donaldson?” Patrick says brightly, like Art didn’t just catch him with some stupid pretty boy between his legs. “I’ve been meaning to come see you.”

Art glares at him still struggling to form words. He hasn’t seen Patrick this close in so many, many years. He still smiles with his eyes but they crinkle now with age and around the edges of that smile he looks like he might be tired(sad?). And not just from lack of sleep. His hair’s shorter, skin darker the way it always was in the summertime. It makes all his freckles that much more visible. Art hates to admit the facial hair looks kinda good on him.

His body looks good too… Art’s eyes drift downward over where the towel is covering his very hard dick.

”I am so sorry Mr. Donaldson I’m a big fan. I think you are so talented. Not many Americans can win on clay,” Whatever his name is saying with a thick accent Art can’t place. It pulls Art out of whatever daze he was in. God was he just staring? Why was he fucking staring? He looks at Patrick’s face again and he’s looking at Art, amused. Smug.

Art’s annoyed all over again.

“And your game against Padilla.” The kid is still talking. “That was so good. I rewatched it twice. You’re so—“

“Thanks,” Art interrupts, his tone clipped. He’s not sure why he’s suddenly irritated with his presence. This dumb kid, probably 24 or 25, pink cheeks, perfect body just on his knees for…

“Didn’t he beat you yesterday?” Art asks, meanly, with a smirk.

His pretty little face goes stormy and Art feels a cruel internal joy when he sees it.

He mutters something in another language but Art’s certain it’s a swear word.

“I just—it was a bad day. I’m ranked much higher than him.” The kid tries to recover but he’s clearly embarrassed.

“Sure, exactly. It was just a bad day, Grosu,” Patrick chimes in, smiling as he rubs himself idly. “Lemme make you feel better.”

“You’re no good for me, Zweig.” The kid mutters.

“That’s not what you said last night,” Patrick smirks up at him.

Art’s jaw sets with irritation. Especially when Patrick’s grabbing at the kid’s waist and pulling him closer. Art’s not trying to look but for whatever reason his eyes trail back down. Probably because Patrick is just so insistently hard. And he’s touching it, just casually touching it.

The weirdest part is the way Art can feel his own balls tightening. It makes no fucking sense. He can’t possibly be getting hard. He’s one fucking step away from talking to his doctor about Viagra because he can’t get it up for someone as fucking beautiful as his wife and right now on a random night in the middle of the sauna is when he’s just ready to go. Brilliant. It’s like the universe just enjoys finding new ways to fuck with him.

The kid has forgotten about him, mesmerized by Patrick. Letting Patrick just touch him, all over. Art feels like his blood is boiling hotter than the room. He hurries outside without another word before the way his cock is swelling becomes visible to them. Not that they fucking care.

He’s barely made it into the locker room toilet stall when he’s leaning against the door jerking himself stupid. The whole thing is so fucked because in his head he’s imagining Patrick’s hands all over him. Touching him. Fucking him. Not that stupid pretty boy loser. Fucking loser. Fucking loser. Fucking loser. His mind chants over and over, not sure if it’s about the kid or Patrick or himself. All the while his hand is racing over his dick, so desperate until he’s coming hard, spraying his load all over his hand and the toilet seat. “Oh fuck,” he gasps.

Because what the fuck is he doing? He’s too old for this shit. Mind games and lust and weird teenaged flirting. He needs to go home to his wife and kid. He’s a grown up. He has responsibilities. Patrick’s still a fucking child. Just doing whatever he wants. Just fucking whoever he wants. Like Tashi. It’s been years and it still stings. And now some stupid fucking boy sucking his dick when anyone could just walk in. It’s offensive. Art should probably complain. Tell that loser kids coach or whoever he’s working with that he needs to focus and maybe not fuck around with someone like Patrick Zweig. He cleans up quickly and hurries to go wash his hands.

He spots movement behind him in the mirror and turns to see Patrick walking from the lockers towards the shower. Naked. With only a towel on his head. God how long was he in here? Did he hear Art?

Patrick stops to smirk at him. He’s not hard anymore which means he probably fucked the kid. It’s still so fucking big even when he’s soft. Art swallows. “What do you want?” He manages.

“Nothing. You just look pretty flushed. Are you okay?” He says, grinning (like he knows what Art did). “I thought you went home.” He wraps the extra towel he’s got draped over his shoulder around his waist, covering himself and Art relaxes a bit.

“I am going home,” Art says. “Where’s the dumb kid?”

Patrick laughs, “You know he’s 27, right.”

“Well he’s still a loser,” Art shrugs. He doesn’t care. He hopes he never sees him again. (And that Patrick doesn’t either).

“God, must feel good to walk around with all that power. He got so in his head from your little comment. He wanted to go home. Didn’t even want to finish. It’s like he didn’t even remember how much fun we had last night after drinks.”

Art’s not sure how to take any of that. On one hand he’s mildly satisfied that he sent the kid into a tailspin, but still fucking irritated that he… that he what… that he got to fuck Patrick in the first place? This is so fucked. He can’t want this. He cannot want this.

“Well you’re not dressed yet.” Patrick continues, casually. “You sure you don’t want to join me and clean up in the shower?”

“I uh— uh—“ Art stammers, while he white knuckles the towel on his waist, his heart rate picking up and the distant feeling of arousal that he’d just conquered incredibly stirring again. He wants this. Fuck he wants this. “No I—“

“I’m just teasing,” Patrick shrugs, interrupting before Art can finish. An oddly melancholic expression flitting over his face. And then immediately back to being his usual carefree (careless?) self. If not a little more distant. Formal. “Good night, Donaldson, see you in the final.”

“Good night,” Art says, feeling his stomach sink just a little bit. He wishes he didn’t— but he believes it now with 100 percent certainty that Patrick is right— that they’re both going to end up there.

(Sorry anon that this took so long and also I apologize if this is what you were looking for. It’s been hectic so I didn’t have much time to get to into it— also wanted to leave a little space for canon to canon lol. Art is still so mad that he’s attracted to Patrick he needs to hurt him more 😭)

[donnerpartyofone]

What was the process like for writing the novelization for Splice? Would you consider writing a novelization of an existing work again?

Eek I'm being interviewed! I'M SO FAMOUS. There are a lot of parts to this answer. The shortest answer is that I really just watched SPLICE in tiny sections every single day for a very, very long time. I had a certain version of the script to work from, but it wouldn't contain the exact things that were said and done in front of the camera (no script would), so I just studied the movie. I scanned the sets for objects I could not identify, of which there are a LOT -- things I've never seen before, and things I've seen but couldn't name -- and searched online until I learned to describe things like hay trolleys and circulating baths. To me, the point of a novelization is that it produces an interior and sensorial experience not offered by a screen, so I tried very hard to expand on the material qualities suggested by the movie.

It never once occurred to me to change anything. Apparently this is an expectation of novelizations. I had a writeup in Fangoria that was very kind about my ability to make psychological sense out of the things people do in SPLICE, but that expressed disappointment that I hadn't added scenes or anything. I'm such an inveterate, pathetic sort of rule-follower, I didn't even ask myself about this. I did change one exact thing, regarding the kind of candy that Elsa eats, because it was meaningful and amusing to me to do so, but I don't think anybody will ever get it. I also included just a little bit of material from the script that didn't make it into the movie, because it was completely in line with my psychological interpretation, which was what I was most concerned with.

I never thought of SPLICE as a perfect film, but I had a lot of thoughts about it, and I think my main contribution was to explain what these characters are thinking and feeling as they wade into this life-changing and profoundly icky experience together. That became very personal very quickly and I was a little bit afraid that maybe this would be how everyone would find out how totally insane I actually am, but I'm told that that part worked out pretty good -- by Vincenzo Natali, among other people, who is SO NICE AND SMART AND SUPPORTIVE. Best guy! When I turned in my draft to the publisher I thought there might be a little back and forth, I did not expect them to send the raw document directly to Vincenzo and I was very alarmed when I heard from him before anybody else, but I really had nothing to fear. He's one of my favorite people now.

I would definitely do another novelization. Actually I think I'm uniquely suited to this because I have a good dose of aphantasia. I didn't even know until recently that it's statistically weird to think mostly or exclusively in words and to have a very hard time visualizing, like, almost anything. When I started telling people this about myself I was asked, among other things, "How do you do anything if you can't picture what you're going to do?" And I was like, uh...I don't know. Maybe this is connected to my extreme executive problems and my problems with goal formation and followthrough. I mean I think this is true, now. And I developed this sort of half-joking self-mythology that I have to be watching movies every second of the day because I suffer from an image deficit and I need external infusions. Like even when I used to draw (trauma took that away, long story, but I drew all the time for like half my life), almost everything I ever made was swipes -- and I think they're pretty good, like it's worthy as art. But I guess for me, art has to be made out of something external that I manipulate. All the art I've ever made without a reference point has been maybe technically OK but really lifeless, you can tell something is missing. So I think the novelization process was a lot like how I used to draw, where I had a completely concrete external referent and I would just sort of tour it very extensively until I had created a twin of it out of my interpretations. And the twin is like, the same but different, it's a clone made out of feelings and reactions. I think that's a worthy sort of art object to make.

There's a thing I'm working on now that I'm sure I won't be able to talk about for a long while, but it involves writing things from preexisting sketches and prompts, and that's a little bit the same. I don't have as much to go on, but I can tell what the shape of it could be, I just turn it over like, what if it's like this, what if it's like this, what if it's like this. And I know that what I'm turning out is really made out of tropes and archetypes, it's kind of a collage, but if the collaging is really earnest and you're feeling your way along with reasonable naturalness, it can turn into something. It's not that different from describing experiences you've had, if you really think about it. The following comment is NOT MEANT TO COMPARE MYSELF TO A GENIUS but I had this nice moment of synergy recently when I rewatched Kiyoshi Kurosawa's CURE, which to me seems so forcefully unique, but in interviews he says things like, "Well I just really wanted to make an American horror movie," and talks about how his starting point was not personal at all, he just wanted to play with the established tools and ingredients people use to build a certain kind of product. And I thought, I guess that's what I do -- not as intelligently or deliberately, but I get how you can work in a way that sounds so formal and empty, and have it produce something distinctly personal.

Thanks for your fun question!

*Virginia Madsen voice* Oh yes. I forgot to tell you. BUY MY BOOK!

EDIT: Oh I kind of lied, I changed *just some of* the music that Clive listens to, to something that would be easier to communicate to a reader. Like I wouldn't use the exact band on the soundtrack because it was too obscure and specific, but I would talk instead about his genre choices because they went with what I was trying to say about him as a person. I think all of it was still pretty in line with the sounds, and the Clive, that appear in the film.

[27spoons]

CRUSH | ACT ONE: CIGARETTE DAYDREAMS

pairing: natalie scatorccio/reader

summary:

A handful of chance encounters with the elusive Natalie Scatorccio lead to an unlikely outing with the aforementioned, which leads you to an unexpected and unconventional place, far removed from your usual quiet routines. In the quiet of their surroundings, the two find themselves opening up, sharing glimpses of their lives and discovering unexpected common ground. You're drawn into Natalie's world as the day unfolds, leaving you questioning your choices and craving more of the freedom and thrill she embodies.

wc: 5700

warnings: they smoke weed, reader is a bumbling idiot

a/n: the amount of research i did into the american school system is truly astounding. yall are so weird (lovingly). what the fuck is a homecoming and why are you guys so obsessed with it (/j) (mostly)

ao3

PREVIOUS - PRELUDE: CRUSH

NEXT - ACT ONE: HOW CAN I MAKE IT OK? (WIP)

The first time you really noticed Natalie Scatorccio, she was leaning against the bleachers behind the gym with a cigarette dangling from her lips, head tipped back like she didn't give a fuck if the sun blinded her. Even in the heat of late spring, still wearing that black, faded leather jacket. You wonder if she was born with it.

You didn't mean to stare. You never do.

But Natalie… well, Natalie always had a way of drawing your attention, like a moth to a flame. The rest of the world seemed to fade into static whenever she came into your line of view. 

Looking back, you wonder why the hell she even came to school that day. Half the time, she was just a rumour passed from one hallway to another, a near-mythical figure that drifted in and out of classes on her own terms. Maybe her being on the soccer team played a role in her occasionally attending classes. As good of a player as she was, they couldn't have someone on the team who ditched all of their classes. Only some. And maybe she had a bit of, well, a lot of a record. You don't know how much of it is true, but you do know she's spent more than a few nights in juvie. 

Anyway, she didn't notice you. She never did.

Why would she notice someone like you, anyway? With her sharp edges and reckless impetuousness? You barely spoke in class unless called on, minded your own, and were content fading into the background of any picture. Your life was routine and predictable—a series of perfectly lined notebooks and polite smiles.

But, with all that in mind, it never stopped your heart from catching in your throat every time her eyes flicked lazily across the quad, scanning the crowd like she was already bored of it. It never stopped the rush of heat to your cheeks when someone shouted her name, and she smirked, tossing her cigarette to the pavement and crushing it with her boot. 

You told yourself to stop looking.

You didn't.

Instead, you let your gaze linger, wondering what it felt like to be the kind of person who could light up a cigarette in the middle of the day and make it look like art. Wondering what it felt like to be noticed by Natalie Scatorccio.

Wondering if you ever would.

You never planned to talk to her. Not really. It was always just passing thoughts of what it would be like to interact with her. Would she be exactly like all the rumours? A cold, uncaring burnout that doesn't give a fuck about anyone but herself? Or would she be kinder? Someone who cares about people and has a secret soft spot?

The thoughts that ran through your mind every time you looked at her. Some more explicit than others. Whoops. 

Maybe even when you weren't looking at her. Like now, for example. So lost in your own world, leaning against the school's exterior wall during your free period, you don't even notice someone approaching you until their voice pushes you out of your thoughts. 

"Got a light?" The raspy, feminine voice asked, sounding like the person it came from had already smoked half a pack today.

Your head flicks over to the voice and… Natalie Scatorccio. In the flesh. How long had you been imagining your first interaction? Since that spring sophomore year? What was that, over a year ago, now?

You blink, startled. "Uh, I, uh—I don’t smoke.” 

The girl scoffs, "No shit. I didn't ask if you smoked. I asked if you had a light."

You must look like a deer in the headlights right now, mouth opening and closing uselessly like a fish out of water. "Uh." You sling your backpack off your back and unzip it. Truthfully, you already know you don't have a lighter in here. You're only looking because it's an excuse to keep her around a little longer. 

"Sorry," you murmur after a minute spent rifling through your bag and Nat shifting restlessly beside you. "Don't have, uh, a lighter on me."

She appraises you for a moment, "Then what are you doing here, Princess?" She gestures vaguely to the surrounding area. "This your idea of a field trip? Comin' to the corner where the burnouts hang out?"

…is this the corner where her and her friends hang out? No, right? You've never seen them back here before. Mind you, it's not like you're watching her every move, but you feel like you've seen her around enough to know that this isn't her usual haunt. 

"No, uh, I, uh, just wanted some air." The words tumble from your mouth before you can stop them. 

Natalie laughs, low and quiet, "Sure, sure." She tucks her cigarette behind her right ear and crosses her arms, looking over you again with that same look that you could never entirely read. "Well, enjoy it while it lasts. You won't get air like this where you're going."

"Where I'm going?"

She hums, shrugging and pushing off the brick wall the two of you were leaning against. "Wherever people like you go when they get bored of people like me."

You don't even get the time to consider that or form a response before she's walking off with that signature swagger. 

So, you stand there, staring after her, heart pounding in a way that had nothing to do with fear.

You'll start carrying a lighter with you, you decide. 

The next time you interact with Natalie Scatorccio is the week before homecoming, and it's in a setting that is far from glamorous. 

You're in—well, just outside—the school's storage closet, begrudgingly helping a teacher gather decorations for the upcoming celebration. She'd roped you in during your lunch period with a sickeningly sweet smile and a nudge about "school spirit," and, of course, you've always had a hard time saying no. Now, you're stuck digging through boxes upon boxes of tangled string lights, crumpled paper banners, and decorations that are probably older than you are. The icing on the cake is the fact that the entire room smells like mothballs and mildew. 

So, there you are, crouched down and trying to untangle a particularly stubborn knot that connects a pair of string lights when a vaguely familiar voice startles you.

"Didn't peg you for the "volunteer of the year" type."

You glance in the direction of the voice to see Natalie leaning against the closet doorframe, arms crossed and smirking down at you. She's got a blue Gatorade bottle in one hand, the other tucked into the pocket of her leather jacket.

You blink, genuinely surprised to see her in this part of the school, voluntarily. "Uh… what're you doing here?" You stammer out, hands still buried in the mess of tangled lights.

Natalie cocks an eyebrow at you, "Came to see if this place had any tape. Coach is too cheap to buy any decent stuff for the team." She waves a roll of duct tape in her hand, as if to prove her point, then glances down at the many boxes you're sifting through. "You doing this for shits and giggles or some sort of punishment?"

"Uh… neither?" You shift in your position awkwardly, "Ms. Garza needed help, and I—"

She scoffs and interrupts you, "You're too nice." she crouches down beside you with an exaggerated groan, like the act of sitting is the hardest thing in the world. "Lemme guess. Something about school pride, how much she would appreciate it, and a pat on the back?"

"...yeah…" you murmur, face flushing.

An indignant snort leaves her as she digs her hands into the string of lights you currently have yours in, "Called it." To your great surprise, she starts untangling the knotted lights with a deftness you weren't quite expecting.

Mind you, you weren't really expecting any of this.

"Oh, uh, you really don't have to—"

"Nah. 'm bored." She shrugs, not bothering to look up at you. "Wanted an excuse to ditch practice, anyways."

"Oh." You aren't quite sure how to respond to that, so you settle for just watching her work.

The silence stretches as she untangles the lights on your behalf, slightly uncomfortable and tense but not awkward, for some reason. Eventually, you find the courage to ask, "You're, uh, on the soccer team, right?"

Natalie pauses for a moment, then shrugs and gets back to work. "Yep," and for a moment, you think that's all she's gonna say until she adds: "Not exactly my dream job, but it mostly keeps me out of trouble." She smirks and finally glances at you, "Mostly."

"Well… that's good, I guess?" You offer, watching as she successfully untangles one of the strings from the giant mess.

She laughs—short, sharp, and genuine—and it honestly catches you off-guard for a moment.  "Sure, Princess. Good. That's one word for it."

You let that silence slowly become awkward before you mumble out, "You're not what I expected." You don't even intend it to come out of your mouth, but it does before you can stop it.

Natalie freezes, her expression shifting to something unreadable. "And what exactly did you expect, huh?" Her tone, while mostly neutral, carries a slight bite to it.

That makes you hesitate.

Good job, dumbass.

"Oh, uh, it's just that… people say a lot of stuff about you. I dunno." Your face flushes again, and you feel like a bit of an ass for saying something, but surely she knows the rumours that circulate her.

"Yeah, well, people say a lot of shit about anything they don't understand." She nearly snaps, her jaw tensing before she finally looks at you, her gaze making you feel far more insignificant than you've ever felt before. "Guess it doesn't really matter what they say, huh? People like you don't bother to find out for themselves."

"People…" You swallow down that sudden lump in your throat, "People like me?"

"Yeah. You know," she gestures vaguely at you with her free hand as if that explains everything. "The good kids. The nerds. The ones that stick to the rules and do what they're told. Whatever."

You open your mouth to dispute that claim, that you really don't "stick to the rules" and "do what you're told," but even if you could without lying, she wouldn't believe you. "Yeah." You manage, unable to find anything else to say.

After that, the two of you finish untangling the lights in relative silence, and as bad as you feel about what you said (and assumed), you feel like there's some sort of understanding you've gained about the woman a majority of the school avoids, like the plague.

As Natalie stands to leave, duct tape in one hand and a satisfied grin on her face, she pauses and spares a glance back at you, "Hey," a beat, "Try saying no next time. Might make life more… interesting."

Then… she's gone. Leaving you alone with the faint smell of cigarette smoke and the realization you're probably blushing.

You start frequenting that spot in the back of the school during your spare period and hoping that maybe, maybe, she'll grace you with her presence again. 

Lucky for you, she does—two weeks later.

It's early October in your senior year; homecoming has come and gone, and the air has started to develop a slight chill. You're sitting against that same wall with a sketchbook in hand and earbuds in, listening to whatever is playing off your phone. You really need to work on your situational awareness because you don't even notice Natalie approaching until her figure is looming over you. You quickly pull an earbud out as you look up at her. "Uh—" "What're you working on, Princess?" Despite the teasing lilt in her voice, she seems… genuinely curious. "Oh, uh, just…" You turn the sketchbook around and offer it to her, figuring it's easier to show than try to explain. "Yeah, I'm drawing a very specific type of bird, the barn swallow, which I saw when I went up to my grandfather's farm over the weekend." True, you could just say, "It's a barn swallow," but that's no fun.

Natalie cocks an eyebrow, surprised that you're just handing her your drawing when most people wouldn't let her touch their belongings with a ten-foot pole, but she doesn't comment on it. She nods as she looks down at the sketch, "'s a nice looking bird. You got talent, Princess." She hands the book back to you, "Your field trip take you out here again?"

You flush slightly at the compliment, murmuring out a quiet "Thanks" before you look back up at her, "Oh, uh, I just… it's quiet back here. Most people don't come around this part of the school, so I can draw in peace. It's nice." You offer her a soft smile, which she returns. "Yeah, it is, isn't it?" The girl looks around the area, yawning. "Always nice to find spots where the rest of the school don't stick their noses." She glances back down at you, "Shouldn't you be in class? Don't seem like the type to skip." You shake your head, "I have a spare right now. And I'd rather be out there than in the library or something. At least out here, I can breathe." You chuckle quietly to yourself.

She huffs at the comment and pulls a pack of cigarettes from her jacket pocket, "This is true." She places one between her lips, and you almost hope she asks you if you have a lighter again, just so you can show her that you do, but she doesn't, instead opting to pull out a rusted Zippo from one of her combat boots. She takes a few puffs from the smoke before flicking the lighter closed and returning it to her boot. 

"Sorry. Would've asked if you wanted to bum one, but you said you didn't smoke last time." Last time. Meaning she remembers the interaction the two of you had weeks ago. That brief, fleeting interaction. It shouldn't make you feel as warm as it does. "What's your last class of the day?" And now she's asking you questions. About yourself. That's crazy. That's wild. 

"Oh, uh, AP Chemistry with Mr. Carr."

Natalie snorts as she brings the Marlboro back to her lips, "Figures you'd be in AP Chem." You frown slightly at that, but she quickly adds: "Not that that's a bad thing or whatever. You just… seem like the overachieving type. No offense." She shrugs as she takes a long pull from the smoke.

"Yeah, well, parents want me getting into a good university, preferably with a scholarship, so that I won't have to go into crippling debt just to study." You give another (slightly tense) chuckle.

She grunts in response, "I get that." You were half expecting her to make another jab about getting into a good school or getting a scholarship, but find yourself pleasantly surprised when she doesn't. "Hey," She says, looking back down at you, "When's the last time you skipped a class?" Skipped a class? You don't think you've ever—well, that's a lie. You did a few times back in middle school when you thought it was cool. And it was—until you ended up missing a test. "Middle school, I think." You mumble, thinking about the question. "Probably eighth grade. Why?"

A devilish grin crosses her features, "Well, Princess, I think your nerdy ass is long overdue for a skip. Last block of the day, anyway. What've you got to lose?" You consider that. She's right. It is the last class of the day. And you know that Mr. Carr is just reviewing stuff for Monday's test. 

You know you shouldn't. Really, you shouldn't. It's a bad idea. One headed for disaster. You don't know her, and she just keeps calling you "Princess," and for all that is holy, this will be a terrible idea.

"Uh, I don't know." You, once again, give her a tense chuckle. "The school will call my parents if I'm not in class." Natalie rolls her eyes and scoffs, ashing her cigarette. "Please. Just text them and tell them you've got a stomach ache or something and needed to go home early. I doubt they'll piss themselves over it. After all, it's like you said, you haven't skipped since middle school. Live a little." Live a little. She's right, again. How many times are you gonna let opportunities pass you by because you were too much of a pussy to do anything? For all that is holy, you might regret this.

"...if you end up sacrificing me to some blood God, I will be very upset." But you start packing your stuff up all the same. Natalie laughs—truly laughs. Warm and open. You decide you like that sound. "Not a blood God fan? Alright. I'll sacrifice you to the sex Gods, then." She grins as she takes another pull from the smoke, "C'mon. I know a place." She gestures with her head for you to follow. She doesn't even stop to make sure you're following her; she just assumes you are.

You scramble up off the ground and quickly move to fall into step with her as she leads you away from the school. 

She moves fast, walking down the sidewalk and stepping over cracks and rocks as if she's taken this route countless times, and maybe she has. Not once does she spare a glance back at you to see if you're following, her eyes set on the path in front of her—as if nothing could break her single-minded focus of leading the two of you to… wherever you're going. 

The two of you walk in silence for what feels like forever but is actually only a few minutes. Despite being slightly taller than the blonde, you find yourself taking slightly hurried steps in order to keep up with her. Natalie doesn't seem interested in telling you where she's leading you, and you don't dare ask—not yet, anyway. You clutch your bag tightly, feeling both exhilarated and slightly nauseous.

“Relax, Princess,” she says finally, her voice cutting through the quiet. She glances over at you with a smirk, flicking ash from her cigarette onto the pavement. “I’m not dragging you into anything illegal.” She grins and looks back ahead, "And I'm not actually sacrificing you to the Sex Gods—unless you're into that." She lets out a low chuckle, and you find yourself blushing again like a fool.

You're grateful she's looking away from you again, although you're almost positive she knows your face is bright red. "I, uh, I wasn't thinking that." You mumble out, nearly tripping over your own feet.

"Sure you weren't." She hums, "Don't worry. For the record, this place is cool. No cops, no teachers, no assholes tryin' t'stick their nose where it doesn't belong. Just us."

You should feel reassured, but her words only make your pulse quicken. Us. Like you’re part of her world now, even if just for a little while.

She leads you down a side street, and the area she turns down honestly looks like the type of place where someone would be murdered brutally, and their body would be discovered two months later when someone walking their dog accidentally stumbles across it. Sunlight filters through the overgrown trees on one side of the street, the tangled branches casting eerily beautiful shadows on the gravel road. 

Natalie comes to a stop at the end of the road, pushing open a rusted gate that groans in protest at the movement. On the other side of the gate lies a small, run-down skatepark, the kind that's been long forgotten by time and maintenance crews. Graffiti covers every available surface, some of it less vulgar than others. 

She flicks her cigarette butt to the pavement and crushes it under the toe of her boot, "Welcome to paradise," she says, throwing her arms out wide as if displaying the park to you like it was her prized possession. 

"This is… your big, secret spot?" You cock an eyebrow and glance around, walking to the edge of the skate bowl and glancing down at the artwork that covers it.

Natalie laughs, leaning against the nearest ramp. “Hey, this baby is my pride and joy. Beats sitting in AP Chem, doesn’t it?”

You can’t argue with that.

You can try to, however. "'least I'd be learning something in AP Chem."

She laughs at that, "Oh, yeah?" Well, I can sure as hell teach you a few things, Princess." She pushes off from the ramp and saunters over to you, and you swear to God your face might actually look like a tomato. "I, uh, I—"

She laughs, "Relax, Princess." She drops down to sit on the edge of the bowl, taking her backpack off and pulling out a tin of Altoids. 

"...Mints?" You ask, confused, your face slowly returning to its normal colour as you sit beside her, albeit with slight trepidation. 

The girl snorts as she opens the tin, revealing a handful of carefully rolled joints. "No, Princess. I just got tired of carrying around plastic bags of joints that would end up crushed by the end of the day. This keeps them intact and fresh." She pulls one out and places the end of one between her lips, offering you the tin.

You look down at it like you're seeing a ghost. "Uh—"

She rolls her eyes, but the grin on her lips remains, "'s not gonna bite you. Just a joint." She closes the tin and lights the one between her lips, taking a few puffs to ensure it stays lit. "You really never smoked before, yeah? Complete virgin?" Oh, if only she knew how true that statement was. "Yeah, uh, virgin lungs. Only ever inhaled oxygen." You give a tense laugh, rubbing the back of your neck and looking away bashfully. 

"Well," Natalie hums, holding the joint out for you, "First time for everything, yeah?" 

You stare at the joint like it's possessed. "I don't, uh, really know how to." Nat shakes her head and laughs, "Dude, seriously, you need to relax a little. Just, like…" She sighs and rolls her eyes, waving her free hand around as she tries to explain how to take a hit. "Like… you're drinking from a straw, or whatever, but you're trynin' t'fill your lungs, not your stomach." You reach out to grab it, but she pulls it back for a moment before letting you have it, "And, whatever you do, do not fucking slobber all over my joint, or this—" she gestures between the two of you, "—will never happen again. Yeah?"

"Yeah." You murmur, suddenly far more nervous than you already had been, if that was even possible. You swallow nervously to clear the saliva from your mouth and place the end of the joint between your lips and do as she instructed, inhaling like you would if you were sucking something through a straw. You only manage to get about a second and a half into taking the pull before you're pulling the smoke from your mouth and coughing up a lung.

Natalie, of course, starts laughing her ass off. "Dude—" She tries to stop laughing, but the more you cough, the more she laughs. Admittedly, even though you're suffering, you do quite enjoy hearing her laugh. "Dude, seriously. Breathe." She grabs the joint back from you before you drop it.

"Yeah, well, easy for—" You cough a few more times, "—easy for you to say." You wave the lingering smoke away from your face, "You're not the one who just took your first hit."

She scoffs, a cocky grin plastered on her face. "Yeah, but I didn't cough my fucking lungs out the first time I took a hit." Natalie brings the joint to her lips and takes another pull before ashing it, "Try again." She offers the smoke to you again, "And this time, try not to cough like that, yeah?" Her tone is teasing, and her eyes sparkle with mischief. 

Damn. You're already whipped, aren't you?

You let out another shaky exhale as you place the joint between your lips again and inhale, although not as aggressively this time. You manage to actually take a few second long pull, although you do cough a few times on the exhale. "Fuck." 

You pass the joint back to her as you make a face, and Natalie just laughs again. "See, Princess? You can take a proper hit. I'll make a stoner of you yet." She grins to herself as she takes another long pull.

Silence, comfortable silence, passes between the two of you as you share the joint (and yes, you do still cough after every hit. But you swear you're getting better!) until it's depleted. Natalie sighs as she snuffs the roach of the joint out on the concrete, "I don't like silence. Talk." She says bluntly, drawing one of her legs up to her chest as the other remains draped over the edge of the bowl.

"Uh." You stammer, shaking your head. "Alright. Uh… do you skate? Or something? I'm assuming this isn't really a place you just… stumble upon." You vaguely gesture to the surrounding skatepark. 

The bleach blonde shakes her head, "Nah. I don't skate. Kev does. 's become our hangout spot. No one comes 'round here unless they're tryin' t'smoke or skate. And the people that do come around to do that are usually chill." She glances at you, "So don't make me regret showing you this place, yeah? If I come back one day and see all the graffiti gone and the place cleaned up, I'm comin' for you, Princess."

Princess. That stupid fucking nickname. She hasn't even asked your name, but she's been more than fine sharing a joint with you and showing you her 'secret spot' that she seems to value so much. 

Yet, as much as you dislike the nickname, you also like how it spills from her lips. Maybe it's just because it's her saying it. 

"Promise I won't leak your "special spot" to the locals." You shoot her a smile, and she smiles back at you. 

"Good." A beat, "How's it feel to hang out with someone like me, huh? Bet your goody-two-shoes ass would have never dreamt about smoking a joint in an abandoned skatepark with someone who has a rap sheet, huh?"

Well… maybe you have dreamt about it. But Natalie doesn't need to know that. "Didn't think it would ever happen, no." You nod, looking back over the spray-painted pavement. "I, uh, like the… fuzzy feeling from the weed, though."

"Fuzzy feeling." Natalie parrots, shaking her head, "You're high, Princess. That's what that fuzzy feeling is. You're high. Didn't even smoke that much. I forget how much of a lightweight newbloods are." 

"Yeah, well, not all of us smoke our first joint at ten and do our first stint in juvie by twelve." You roll your eyes, and the teasing edge in your voice surprises even you. Maybe it's the weed talking—or perhaps it's Natalie, the way she makes you feel a little bolder than you would typically be. 

To your surprise, Natalie seems to take the comment in stride. "I'll have you know I didn't do my first stint until I was fourteen, thank you." She grins, leaning back on her hands. "What's the most rebellious thing you've ever done, Princess? And, no, skipping class with me and smoking a joint doesn't count."

You have to think about that for a moment. 

Like… a long moment. You really don't do anything that would be considered rebellious. "Uhhh… skipped a few times in middle school. Snuck out a handful of times after curfew to watch the meteor showers…" You're quickly realising how lame you sound. "I, uh, once I stole some vodka from my parent's liquor cabinet? But… nothing major, obviously."

Natalie lets out a low whistle, "Damn, you're a natural rebel, yeah? Sneaking out to watch meteor showers… stealing vodka from your parents once…" She shakes her head in mock disbelief. "You're adorable." A wistful sigh leaves her lips.

"Yeah…" You give a strained chuckle and rub the back of your neck, feeling far more bashful than you had been all afternoon. "What, uh, about you?" You ask, partially to deflect from the conversation about you and partially because you're actually curious. You've heard so much about her, so many stories and rumours… how many of them are actually true? "What's the worst thing you've ever done?"

She shrugs, like she’s been asked this a hundred times before, and she probably has. "The usual. Got into some fights, boosted a car once—don’t recommend it, by the way—and maybe climbed a water tower drunk off my ass just to prove a point." She grins, clearly proud of herself. "Oh, and there was that time I broke into a swimming pool after hours. Almost got caught, but it was worth it."

That is… surprisingly far less than you thought it would be. Your kneejerk reaction is to ask, "Is that all?" but you know better. "What type of car?" You ask, which is a far safer question.

Natalie laughs, "That's what you're pulling from that?" She shakes her head, "Sure. Was a Mazda MX-5. Soft top. First gen. Did it on a dare. Belonged to some rich asshole that lived outside of Philly. Took way too fucking long to boost, and I was sweating balls the whole time. Never again."

"Damn." You murmur, "What did you do with the car once you got it started?" You ask, far too curious for your own good.

"Mm, that's a secret, Princess. Curiosity kills cats, or whatever the fuck the expression is." She smirks lazily, waving a hand dismissively. "Y'know, life is short as fuck. Shorter if you're someone like me." She takes a moment to light up a cigarette, "You ever think about that? Like… if all you do is follow the rules, what’s the point?"

You're not sure if it's the weed talking, but… her words hit heavier than you thought they would. "I guess I’ve never really thought about it like that," you admit, voice softer than intended. "I mean… I’ve always just done what I was supposed to, what everyone expected of me. Status quo, and all that." You shrug, but there's a lack of conviction behind it.

Natalie blows a few smoke rings before turning her gaze back to you, "Yeah? How's that working for you? Living the life of your dreams?"

You sigh and look away from her, then groan and lie down against the edge of the bowl, legs still dangling off of it. "I mean… I guess it's working out fine." You shake your head, not even convinced of your own words, "Sometimes, though? Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to… just…" You throw your hands up in frustration as you try and find the right words, "Just do whatever the hell I want. Like you, I guess."

She scoffs, but it isn't harsh like her previous ones have been; it's almost bordering on wistful. "Careful, Princess. That's the type of thinking that gets you into trouble." She puffs on her smoke several times, "The good type of trouble, don't get me wrong. The kind of trouble that makes life actually worth living.

You don’t know what to say to that, so you just sit there, the quiet settling in again. But this time, it feels different—less like silence and more like… a mutual understanding.

The two of you sit out in quiet understanding for a little while until Natalie's cell vibrates. She fishes it out of her jacket pocket with a sigh and glances down at the cracked screen of her… you're pretty sure that's a Samsung S8, which is more than a few generations old at this point, but it's honestly not that surprising that she has an old, beat up phone.

"I gotta jet, Princess." She pushes herself into a standing position and swings her backpack over her shoulder, but before she leaves, she looks down at you, still sitting on the edge of the bowl. "But, for the record?" A grin twitches its way onto her face, "You're not half bad. Guess not every nerd is an uptight bitch, huh?" Then, she's off. Leaving you sitting on the edge of the skate bowl, reflecting on the past… however long you spent out here with her.

The silence left in her wake feels heavier than you'd expect—as if she took all the noise and chaos with her as she left. You sit there a while longer, brooding in the stillness. Your eyes drift to the snuffed-out roach of the joint the two of you shared, and you find a smile crossing your features as the words she left with replay in your mind.

"You're not half bad."

It's probably nothing to her, just another throwaway moment in the whirlwind that is her life, but to you? Well, to you, it feels like a seed of something has been sowed. Approval? A connection? Whatever it is, you let it linger.

Eventually, you rise, brushing off the nonexistent dust and dirt from your pants. The world feels different now—softer, maybe. Or maybe that’s just the buzz still coursing through your body. You know you should head home, but instead, you pull out your phone and snap a quick picture of the empty skatepark, the graffiti-lined concrete glowing faintly in the golden light of the setting sun.

Maybe you’ll sketch it later. Perhaps you’ll save it as a reminder of this strange, unexpected, but welcome afternoon.

As you begin your walk home, you let your thoughts wander to Natalie—her casual confidence, her warm laugh, and how she made you feel that leaving your comfort zone, that safe little bubble you had built, was not only possible—but necessary. 

You don't know if you'll see her again tomorrow, or the next day, or anytime soon, really. 

But you sure as hell hope you do.

a/n: yall not gonna be getting anything even remotely romantic for a hot minute whoops (gotta build that tension yfm)

questions/comments/whatever? slide in my asks and ill maybe respond idk teehee

[jesncin]

Hellblazer homework time! The fun thing about Hellblazer is that there's always so much rich visual motifs and interpretation to pull from. There's tons of references in this short comic, mostly from Hellblazer #40 and #100.

Thomas' "fate ruled the game" line is directly from #40, when Goldie is musing about his backstory and it's revealed that in his universe, Thomas was a kindly father (and has both his arms).

crumpled loser. Haha, but I do like this idea that even though the ghost twins didn't get a chance to grow up, they have habits and tendencies that transcend their little existences. Johnny smells of smoke and crumples in on himself, Goldie hums and sings. I see some people interpret John curled up as a reflection of the abuse he faced growing up, (that he's still the hurt little boy after all this time) so there's an echo of that in other realities.

YEAH THAT'S RIGHT I INTEGRATED THE STING ROLEPLAY

The grave panel is a direct reference to when Goldie meets "The Sickly Boy" John. In canon, the Golden Boy rejects the ghost of John Constantine even though he felt "a sudden rush of pity urged me to embrace and comfort him". In our version, he did spend his youth caring for his ghost twin, because that makes it so much more tragic when he eventually pushes him away when he's older.

I also echoed my own comic in the narration :3c. I like the idea of these two reflecting each other across lifetimes.

The forehead kiss panel from Golden Boy's auto bio monologue. I don't know why I keep finding how I re-draw Dave McKean's out-of-the-box mix media edgy art into my own middle grade style so funny. Especially since I studied that guy's art for a long time back in school.

The nightmare sequence! These panels are all callbacks to Hellblazer #100, an issue where John meets his dad in Hell and we get a bunch of flashbacks to their relationship as they argue with each other. The final panel of Goldie's nightmare references the frankly iconic-ly horrifying imagery of Thomas Constantine being hung by the coat hangers he forced his wife to have an abortion with.

[this is not how the panels look like in the actual comic, I've spliced them together to save space]

And here's the fight John has with his dad! I wanted to keep Thomas shrouded through the comic, so he's rendered more impressionistically in this sequence. I combined a couple of panels for when Thomas is shouting up the stairs at John.

So this is more of a holistic premise reference. My approach to the Golden Boy is to tweak these tiny instances of characterization we get to something more human and less unknowable. I kept the part where he's described to be a very precocious child, but twisted the line where he's described as having "eyes that read you like a book and knew your secret crime."

In our take, Goldie is haunted by what he doesn't know and scared of a secret truth he might be uncovering about his dad. The original quote that he's "finding the paths between lies and truth where others feared to tread" makes for a cool sounding hero- but maybe it's okay for Goldie to have been scared at first growing up. Maybe he dismisses his visions as a manifestation of his survivor's guilt before figuring out what he's looking into. It makes him feel a bit more real to me.

More for the premise! This whole fan comic is inspired by the continued motif of characters dreaming of other realities in the original Golden Boy arc. We see Zed telling Errol she had a dream of something that happens in Golden Boy's reality. In one other instance, the Golden Boy wakes up (from being presumed dead) speaking in his brother's voice. Which is incredibly funny to me.

So that's what I'm exploring in this comic! In a time when multiverse stories are over-saturated, and how the idea of "multiverse with horror sequences" was wasted in things like Doctor Strange Multiverse of Madness, I really wanted to zero in on how scary seeing other realities could be.

Final panel! Just a subtle allusion to the coat hangers again.

Also I put John Constantine back in the closet like a proper homophobe.

The Golden Boy and the Other Thomas Constantine.

Fan comic exploring dead twins, survivor's guilt and Hellblazer characters dreaming of other realities.

[adobe-outdesign]

What's your opinion on the petpet Wadjet?

Wadjets are mostly just a snake, but they have a distinct Lost Desert flair to them. Outside of the eye liner, their bodies have a distinct ringed look to them with thick black accent lines, which fits the land without being too over-the-top about it and makes them very pretty. It's even said they can be mistaken for necklaces when around a Neopet's neck, which I think is cute and works well with their design.

I will say though that their art is very dated—they were released in 2001 and never redrawn, and it shows (especially in the larger How to Draw art above). Not only do they have very light shading that's barely noticeable, but the lineart's a bit too thin and looks almost wobbly in a few spots. The L pose also feels a little unnatural, like their body should curl down at the bend and then go up. This TCG art looks pretty good as a clean-up example, though I do think the gold rings should curve around the upper body more:

I'd love to see a redraw for these guys to clean them up, but given how low that is on TNT's concerns list I wouldn't expect to see it anytime soon.

Favorite Colours:

Rainbow: There's very little to talk about in terms of colours for these guys because they're all pretty generic, but I like the rainbow one quite a bit. I think it's neat how the rings divide each color change and it keeps the gold accents separate, which some other colours fail to do.

Ghost: I like how this one takes all the yellow accents and makes them red instead of just making the rings the same color as the body; it really makes it pop and balances the colors nicely.

Yellow: There's nothing really special about this one, but given that the Wadjet already has gold accents by default I think it looks really pretty with a yellow base and deeper golden yellow rings.

Least Favorite Colour:

Royal: You probably could argue that this isn't as bad as some of the bland Wadjet colours, but I don't know, this one just doesn't do it for me. Even if you can put aside how they just kept the body green instead of choosing something to match the palette, the robe covers up all the interesting body markings. There's also something weird about putting European king clothing on a creature from the Neopets equivalent of ancient Egypt.

[literalfuckingfreak]

a leyendecker from literally march i never ended up finishing and do not think i ever will. enjoy the sketch from it tho :) elias and peter close ups below the cut even tho my design changed significantly for both since then.

[moeblob]

So does he, Gallagher.

[bluehexagone]

Realism is fun till it isn’t and I realize I’ve already committed too far and can’t just scrap it but I know it will take me too long so here are some sacrifices you may see finished later on

[melverie]

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh today I've been constantly experiencing the urge to un-private today-in-the-devildom & start writing for it again

[estrangedandwayward]

Human inuyasha because I guess 21 and 11 are the same thing

[heartbeetz]

I NEED to get back into oc f/os. I just remembered my old casino themed anthro shark guy. He never got a solid enough ref sheet (or lore, really) for me to feel comfortable making him one of my f/os but maybe I should remedy that at some point. Big Jack.........

[termagax]

tldr "what does his face look like" that is his face. dont be rude.

[keeps-ache]

[uses the word 'image' five hundred thousand times]

[neoluca]

My year in review!! I tried to do a lot of different things this year, and I feel like I drew a lot more than in previous years 💛 I hope you'll all stay tuned for next year as well :3

Template made by HaruRyomaru86 on deviantart: (x)

id also like to invite @loupgawou @pinksthetics @staryanna @skunkes @aishashopkeeper @synthaphone @illegaltruffle @boredchanty to do the same if you haven't already!! id really love to see everything you've all done as well 🥰 (and if you have done one already link me to it please!!!)

[snekdood]

bitches prolly out here psychoanalyzing my old art on behalf of my abuser to cushion their belief that im a Horrible Person but then dont see the irony when I point out the shitty things my abuser has drawn and how I see it as clear evidence of their mindset and beliefs (of what's okay to do and how to treat people) descending and pairing that along with everything else they've done and it paints a clear picture of how this person got to the point of thinking it was okay to abuse me the way they did and then the people looking for reasons to hate me through my art will act like "they're just drawings !!!" about their art. which one is it. does someones art say something about them or not? or does it only say something about them if you hate them?