#also his wife. she seems so depressed I think she needs someone to talk to

[hana-bobo-finch]

spent the evening drawing a little something to commemorate my first time playing hollow knight

just entered greenpath and I LOVE the ambiance of it, i really couldn’t do it justice here

[alastor-simp]

Hugging Them Out of Nowhere - Lucifer Morningstar, Cherri Bomb, Vox and Valentino

Here is the second part of the hugging headcanon with the other hazbin characters. I am going to try to make Valentino be a bit more approachable in this story since I know he is on this fandoms hit list.Will contain spoilers from some episodes. Enjoy!

Lucifer Morningstar🐥

🐥"OH! Ummm.....something wrong? Did you want to play with one of my rubber ducks?” Lucifer would have no idea what is going on. He will be stood like a statue, while holding one of his signature ducks. Despite being the king of hell, this man is an awkward softie.

🐥Lucifer was officially staying at the hotel now after its renovation after the fight with Adam. It was nice that he was finally making an effort with Charlie’s dreams and acting like a father.

🐥However, this poor man suffered from depression, due to being stressed being the king of hell and also thinking about his wife leaving. Man couldn’t catch a break.

🐥His bedroom is where he would stay when he was like that, crafting another duck figurine at his desk. He hadn’t noticed you coming into his room to see how he was. The minute he felt arms wrap around him is when he realized your presence.

🐥 “Ummmmmmmm….hi there?” Lucifer just remained in the position he was in, staring at you, trying to figure out what was happening. Soon, you had let him go, wearing an apologetic smile.

🐥 “I’m sorry, your highness.” Lucifer jumped when he heard that and waved his hands. “OH! Just call me Lucifer or Luci! Don’t need to be formal with me!” You smiled at him and nodded your head. The both of you stared at each other for a bit before he broke the silence and asked why the sudden hug.

🐥Feeling shy, you rubbed the back of your neck, “Well, I noticed you seemed more melancholic than usual today. Usually when I am sad, a hug always makes me feel better so I thought maybe that would help you.” Red pupils continued to stare at you making you feel nervous, wondering if you had upset him

🐥Your body was met with a strong impact, as Lucifer tackled you in a hug, squeezing you tightly to the point it was hard to breathe. His face was in the crook of your neck, as he continued to squeeze. “C-can’t br-eath.” Gasping out an answer, you felt Lucifer let you go, by still placed his hands on your shoulder.

🐥 “S-sorry! Sorry! I forget my own strength sometimes haha! You okay? No broken bones?” He kept moving his head to peer at you, making sure you were alright. His actions caused you to laugh, surprising him. “You’re such a dad.” Lucifer then smiled at that, placing a hand on his chest, “Of course I am! I am hells number one daddy!” That sentence caused you to cackle, confusing Lucifer even more. “Hahahaha! Don’t ever say that again!” Lucifer tilted his head at you: “Wait, what did I say?”

🐥His clueless side to him was quite cute at times. You managed to calm down. “Lucifer, if you ever need someone to talk to or have another one of your depressed episodes, come find me okay. I’ll be there to listen and also provide comforting hugs." He wore a shocked expression, before he broke into a kind smile, patting your head. "Thank you."

🐥The relationship the both of you had improved a lot. He was more open with you and would discuss his problems. He was kind enough to bring you to his workshop, showing you how to make his prized ducklings. You received a nice surprise when you went into your room and saw a duck figurine that resembled you, with a red rose lying next to it.

Cherri Bomb🍒

🍒"Woah! Hey bit✪✪!! Why the sudden tackle? You looking to throw down?" Cherri is very hyperactive and fun-loving, you almost never see her depressed about anything. She is either throwing bombs during turf wars or partying at the club with Angel Dust. She wasn't close with everyone at the hotel except Angel, but she was friendly as long as you didn't do something to piss her off.

🍒However, she does have a sensitive side to herself, but she puts up a tough guard to hide it. The three of you, yourself, Cherri and Angel were partying at a popular sex club, chugging down shot after shot. It took you a while to notice, since you were slightly buzzed, that Cherri had a more sad expression on her face then usual. You were about to question what was wrong, but she got up quickly from the bar, saying she was going out for a quick smoke.

🍒Sensing something else was going, on you let Angel know that you would be right back, before following after Cherri. Looking everywhere, you were able to find her on the patio deck of the club, smoking a cigarette while leaning on the metal bar. She didn't noticed you until she heard the sound of the door sliding and saw you walking towards her.

🍒 "Oh! Hey hoe! Whatcha doing out here? Craving a smoke too?" She was smiling wide at you, but you can tell that it was forced. Walking closer to her, you threw her arms around her, causing her one eye to stare at you in shock. ""Woah mate! Whats wrong with ya?" She patted one of your arms, wondering what was going on. "Cherri, drop the act already. I saw that look on your face in the club. There is obviously something going on. So come on, spill it."

🍒 Cherri's eye just widen further and the smile on her face dropped. She turned her head down, not saying a word to you as you kept holding her. "AGH! I'm just pissed with myself at the moment! I'm trying so hard to obtain the level of overlord, but it's not working. I need that status, so I can help Angie to be rid of that moth fu✪✪face!!" Cherri yelled out, as she threw the cigarette from her hand, while punching the metal bar with her fist. You continued to listen to her, and hugged her tighter.

🍒You both stayed like that for a bit, before you spoke: "You will do it Cherri Bomb! I believe in you and so does Angel Dust. Its gonna be hard in the beginning, but you can do it. I want the same for Angel too and I'll try to help in anyway I can." After that little speech you gave, you felt Cherri shaking with laughter. "AHAHAHA! Sorry mate, but you fighting in turf wars? I'm sorry, but your baby face is way to sweet to be considered a threat!" Her words cause you to pout. "Still, thanks mate for coming out here and making me feel better." She moved her body, positioning herself so she could hug you back.

🍒The both of you let go after that, just in time for Angel Dust to come, wondering where the both of you went. "Cherri? Toots? What's going on? Y'all been gone for a while, I thought you bailed on me!" The both of you laughed and walked closer to Angel. "Nothing Angel. Just having some girl talk." You didn't want to tell Angel what had happened before since you probably expected Cherri didn't want to worry him. You felt an arm wrap around your shoulder, and pulled you closer to them. Cherri smiled down at you before looking back at Angel. "Sorry Angie, got distracted. Lets get back to the party! I owe you a drink Y/N!" Cherri looked down at you when she said that before pulling you to the bar, with Angel following behind, wearing a smirk.

🍒Cherri exchanged numbers with you after that. She chatted with both you and Angel on the regular. Her messages were very wild and enthusiastic, either sending a picture of herself in a fight or just making funny inappropriate jokes. She had invited you to her crib to hang out at one point. You should consider yourself lucky, cause she only invites the people she cares about to her place, so the fact that she did that means she considers you a very close friend. She has offered to help train you too, since she noticed your lack of skill in combat, so she wanted to help prepare you. She knew that it would help you in the long run and also allow you to tag team together in a turf war.

Vox📺

📺Hugging Vox was not as simple as you think. He had a reputation to uphold as one of the three Vee's. Also he didn't like being touched.

📺He was an alright guy despite his massive ego. You had been in his business for a while, so you knew quickly how he function and acted in certain situations. His mood had been very sour lately, since he had just realized his arch enemy, the radio demon was back after disappearing for seven years. His great plan was to call Alastor out during one of his video podcasts, only to be mocked down by Alastor, causing him to short circuit and cause all the power to be cut off.

📺Vox remained in his office after that, fuming. His screen was flickering every once in a while, as blue sparks kept popping up around him. You hesitated a bit, as you stood at the door to his office, contemplating if you should go in a calm him down or just let him cool off on his own. Finally reaching a decision, you walked in.

📺He was sitting in his large red chair, in front of his multiple screens. The back of the chair was facing you, as you walked closer to wear he was. Having reached closer to him, you look at him, seeing if he was okay. He was leaned back against the chair, hands covering his screen. It was mumbling something to himself, which was hard to make out, but you heard some words like "alastor" and "a✪✪hole."

📺Clearing your throat, you allowed your presence to be know to him. Vox jumped a bit, before removing one of hands to look at you. He was clearly irritated, given the scowl on his face. "The hell you doing in here? I made in clear I was not to be disturbed." You bounced back a bit at his tone, but you stood strong. "I apologize, sir. I had come to see if you were alright, since you have been in here for a few hours." Vox continued to glare at you before putting his hand back to cover his face. "Argh! That old fashion radio di✪✪head still has me pissed off!" You listen to him rant, and wanted to at least find a way to ease his emotions. "Will you allow me to help calm you down?"

📺Vox removed his hands from his face, his screen eyebrows arched up a bit. He gave a sigh and just waved his hand in the air, saying to do whatever. Taking a deep breath, you walked closer to Vox, leaning down to wrap your arms around him. Vox just froze, hands raised up in shock. He wasn't expecting something like this. After a few seconds, you let him go and stood back up, rubbing your neck. "Sorry! I- That always use to make me feel better whenever I am upset about something, so I though that would help you." You continued to look down away from Vox, afraid that you overstepped.

📺You slowly look back at him, hoping he wasn't more enraged. He surprisingly wasn't, but was more stumped then anything. Soon his screen face lit up with his blue-teethed smile. "Well that was a surprise! Didn't expect you to do that?" He continued to smirk at you, which made you twiddle your fingers. "Sorry." Vox just gave a huff, turning his face away. "Well I didn't hate it." That comment surprised you. You weren't able to see his face,, but his screen looked a tad pinkish, but it was hard to make out. Letting out a cough, he turned back and stretched. "Well time to get back and do some overlord work. You can head back and do whatever." Smiling, you bowed your head a bit, "Very well, sir." You turned around, beginning to walk back to the sliding doors. "Vox." You stopped and turned back, "I'm sorry?" Vox spun his chair, around facing you, "You can call me Vox." His face was hard to read, since you never seen him with that kind of expression before. He slowly turned back around, back of the chair facing you now.

📺He was a bit different after that whole interaction. Yes, he was still the egotistical Vox, but he acted a bit softer when he was with you behind closed doors. He would ask how your day was and how the new Voxtech sales were coming along. He tried to have you around more, whenever he was doing his podcasts or having a meeting with the other Vees. You noticed his eyes staring at you, with a sort of soft look, but he would quickly turn around like nothing was happening.

Valentino🦋

🦋It wasn't easy to offer Valentino a hug. He was one of the the three V's, the overlords that dominated most of Pentagram city. Valentino was a busy man, since he controlled a lot of the lustful side of the city, so he was either surrounded by hot demons or working as the director for his porn videos.

🦋 However, he was prone to hissy fits, that would result in him either breaking multiple things in his office or injure one of Velvette's models. You weren't sure what caused this tantrum, but you could hear Valentino's squeaks of rage from his office.

🦋After a couple minutes, it began to quiet down, giving you a sign that it was safe to enter his office now. Opening the door to his office, you saw the mayhem that was now his office space. Papers had scattered the floor, some clothes were throw on the ground and broken pieces of glass were scattered everywhere on the floor. In the middle of the room was a giant red smoke cloud, likely containing the moth himself. You could see him a bit through the smoke, wearing a scowl, but his eyes were closed.

🦋You didn't say a word, and just started to clean up the mess. Valentino peeked his eye out to look at you, and closed it again. After fixing his clothes and throwing away the shards of glass, you picked up the papers, assembling them in a stack and walk over to his desk. Placing them down, you looked up at the moth man in front of you. He was still wearing a scowl, while muttering little curses under his breath. "Umm..Mr. Valentino?", calling out his name, you approached a bit closer, to where you were standing near his chair. Valentino opened his eyes, flashing crimson at you. "What is it?" his tone was still agitated, and his eyes were glaring at you.

🦋You fiddled with your fingers for a bit, then you slowly got closer to him, wrapping your arms around him in a hug. He was very tall, but since he was sitting down, it was easier for you to place your arms around his back, putting you head next to his neck Valentino let out a little squeak in shock, his multiple arms jumping up, which caused the pipe in one of his hands to drop to the ground. "Oh~ You looking to play gatita?" You could tell he was smirking at what you were doing. You shook your head, "I'm not doing this to have sex with you. I'm giving you a hug to cheer you up." Valentino was quiet after you said that. You were about to let go, thinking you made him more upset, but you felt his arms pull you closer, lifting you up to have you sit on his lap. His head bent down as well, leaning closer to your neck.

🦋None of you had said a word, as you continued to hug each other. You felt a pair of lips kiss your neck, giving you goosebumps. Slowly Valentino removed his head from your neck. His two hands moved to push you back, before placing the both of them on your cheeks. He was wearing a very tender expression, it was quite a surprise to see since you only saw him with a smirk or glare. "Gracias hermosa." Leaning down, he placed a kiss on your forehead, causing you to blush.

🦋His attitude with you change entirely after that. He was still a horny bastard, but he cooled it down for you. He wanted you with him at all times, either next to you or sitting on his lap. Vox took a notice to how different Valentino was being, but he didn't question it, since it saved him time and prevented him from having to come and calm Valentino down himself. Valentino began to send you little gifts as well, you expected something erotic like vibrators, but surprisingly, you got roses and beautiful jewelry. He started addressing you by your name more, or he would called you "hermosa" like he did when he kissed your forehead. Welp, looks like you have a giant moth demon attracted to you now.

~END~

(Sorry no Velvette in this headcanon. It is hard for me to write her character. Maybe i'll do a separate headcanon for just Velvette when I have time)

Tag List:

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[writermani4c]

Wise Man - Willard Russel x Reader

@pizgif

Summary: He waited for her for a long time, but she was much better than his fantasies. A wise man knows when he has found his wife.

Warnings: English is not my first language. Not the second or third, I'm sorry. I'm just a Brazilian woman with Bill Skarsgard fever who likes to write to relieve tension. I hope you like it and that the BIG mistakes don't bother you while reading. With love, me.

It's romantic, kind of fluffy (if you like men who are madly in love) and with a slight spice of obscenity. Carefully follow along.

She smelled like lilies when she walked into the cereal aisle.

Every man prepares for that moment. The moment when your life will be turned upside down, all because of a peculiar smell that makes you turn your neck without any concern other than finding its source, then you come face to face with a woman. Your girlfriend, your wife, the mother of your children, the warm hand on your shoulder after a dog day, the smell of lilies on the pillow on the other side of the bed, the soft voice that will say “honey, is that you?” when you get home or “why didn’t you wake me up earlier?” in the morning.

Willard was waiting for her. Even though he didn't like to admit it out loud, he hoped there was someone like that in that strange, inhospitable hole in the world. And when she turned the corner, holding a bag of flour and some eggs, smelling of lilies, with dirt-stained fingernails and a yellow dress that had seen better springs, he knew that this would be his wife.

She looked up only subtly, acknowledging his presence because he was tall enough to block the view of some items on the small shelf, but not tall enough to notice that he was losing his breath at her handsome face.

Beautiful eyes.

Her eyes burned into a particular corner of his brain, coming into his dreams like two headlights. Willard never liked sleeping, seeing it as necessary as eating and pissing, but much more boring. He slept and felt paranoid about being so vulnerable. But when he started dreaming about her eyes, sleep became a pleasant escape.

Small town, people talk. They said that her father had left early, so it was just the mother and daughter in a house falling apart. The mother was sick and the daughter took care of keeping them alive and fed, took care of the family garden and sold flowers to the local flower shop, also repaired worn-out clothes and cleaned some houses. Willard brought shirts and she took them like treasures, pressing them to her chest before thanking him for thinking of her for the service. She didn't know that he himself cut some holes in his shirts and stopped buying some items for the house to have an excuse to see her. It was worth it when your shirts came back sewn and smelling of fresh earth, tulips and daisies.

Someone needed to take care of her. Someone needed to keep her warm at night and scare away the strangers who followed in her footsteps when she make your purchases.

Most of them started to cower when she started waving at Willard when she saw him on the street. He almost chickened out himself, thinking about what chance she had of seeing him with some affection, and took a while to return the wave, which gave her the confidence to do so more often.

'Good morning, Mr. Russel' and ‘Good afternoon, Mr. Russel’, always with a sweet voice and a small smile at the corner of his mouth, that corner that made him want to lean over her, hold her face and run his index finger across her lips, because they were beautiful, they looked soft and smooth. He told her to cut the formalities, but she always called him that, changing to her first name only when he went to her house with clothes to mend.

─ You have a lot of clothes to sew." She smiled and Willard thought she might know.

She was beautiful in a disconcerting way. She had that face that made the day seem less depressing, with a smart smile and sparkling eyes, and that body that made him wish ─ and then feel even slightly guilty for letting his thoughts go so far ─ that he could travel with his mouth, kissing her curves. as he breathed in the scent she must have had beneath her clothes, that skin as smooth as silk at his mercy. She wasn't stupid, though.

─ It's as if termites do their damage whenever I take my eyes off them. Sorry for bringing you so much trouble.

─ No, you don't need to apologize for that. But you spend a lot of money on me.

─ It's money well spent.

─ I… ─ She breathed in, batting her eyelashes as a gentle rebuke to whatever was in her brain. Without meaning to, Willard took a step forward. Don't beat yourself up, my blossom, that's what she wanted to say, but she stopped herself from taking that step inside the screened-in porch of her house. ─ You…

─ Willard.

─ Willard. ─ He waved with a resigned smile. ─ I don't want to be rude.

─ Please be. Be rude all you want, I won't care.

─ Do you want to stay for dinner?

His heart became a nearly dead muscle beneath her words, only to start beating full force again, skipping beats like a runner in a marathon. He couldn't believe it. A huge smile spread across his face. It would be the first time she invited him in. This gave him hope. He gave him a duty.

─ I want it.

Once inside her personal space, the place where she lived, he felt enveloped to the core, because the entire house smelled like her. Soft earth and flowers.

Her couch was warmer and more comfortable. The table at home, although small, was warmer and the chairs were comfortable. The smell of his food made him feel a dormant, wild hunger, something that was more inside his head than his stomach, roaring and digging with sharp nails into his flesh. He went to the bathroom, with the window facing the backyard. A small window, but one he could sneak through, and he left it open from the inside.

That night, he had dinner with his future wife and her mother, a lady so laughing and talkative that she filled him with questions full of ulterior motives.

If he was married, which he gladly answered no, looking at the flush-cheeked girl at the other end of the table. If he intended to get married, he said yes. What he worked with, whether he drank, whether he was baptized, whether he was up to date with his church obligations. Willard maintained a helpful smile because he knew she heard all his answers and, somewhere, evaluated everything he said.

Later, when they said goodbye, she walked him to the door.

─ Thank you for staying. We don't receive many visitors.

─ Thank you for dinner. No one has cooked for me for a long time.

─ You can come when you want to be questioned over a plate of food.

Under the yellow light of the screen porch, the world seemed very small and very simple. There was nothing but him and that woman. Nothing but the way she looked at him, her face lifted to meet his eyes, and the way she breathed, how she filled her lungs all at once and emptied them more slowly. Her cheeks were warmer in the yellow light, the glow in her eyes was like the gravitational force making him yield to her, and the flutter of those eyelashes stirred Willard's heart once again.

He waited for her, but he couldn't believe that reality could be so good.

His right hand touched hers, gentle but lewd, and he leaned in, consuming the air between them, to kiss her left cheek.

He didn't apologize or look back before walking through the balcony door, hearing the thud as it closed behind him. He walked through the garden and disappeared into the darkness, but he didn't go away. He watched her touch her cheek with her fingertips and take a deep breath, then a smile spread across her face.

Every night for two months, he climbed in through that bathroom window in the middle of the night and walked silently around the house. He touched the notes she signed by hand, her grocery list or some reminder on the refrigerator door, ran his fingers through the clothes on the line at the back of the house and went through her things. He defiled her space because he felt a certain comfort in it, in walking through the house and pushing open her bedroom door, watching her sleep peacefully in the narrow bed. She looked peaceful and carefree, as she should be. She looked fragile, small (and that had nothing to do with her height) and defenseless against all the dangers of that land, a little sparrow that he wanted to hold in his hands and keep, because flying around would get him into trouble.

Every time he was invited to dinner, which started to happen more and more frequently, he allowed himself to leave a kiss as a farewell.

A kiss on the cheek, on the back of her hands, on her knuckles, on her forehead. It was like a small dose from a bottle that he hoped he could take a bigger swig of. Holding her face and bringing his lips to her temple, breathing in the scent of her hair as he enjoyed the feeling of his own lips on the skin of the one who stole his heart, because he couldn't take her mouth and, by the good Lord, no part underneath that yellow button-down dress.

One night, when he turned his back, she followed him outside.

─ Willard! ─ The urgency made him stop in place, but it took him a while to turn on his heels, finding her outside with him, away from the yellow lights.

Outside, the world was different.

The darkness of the night was infested with dangers and evil men. The world smelled not just of soft earth and flowers, but also of gunpowder and blood, ambition, power and unbridled pleasure, suffering and bitterness, things that didn't feel like her but were familiar to him. She came after Willard and he waited for her because she was too small to be alone. She didn't need to be alone. Never again.

─ What was it?

─ I don't know.

─ Yes, you know. ─ She needed to know, because the wait wasn't just exciting. It was heartbreaking too. Each night watching her from afar, unable to run his nose along the delicate curve of her neck or cover her when she moved in her sleep and made the blanket slide, slipping away to reveal a pair of breasts covered only by a soft nightgown. The things he did to himself imagining having those breasts in his mouth... ─ It's dark out here. Whatever you say will remain in the dark.

─ What if it’s bad?

─ Nothing good is said in the dark, my dear, that's why we only talked alone on your balcony.

She nodded.

She was barefoot. Most of the time, she stayed barefoot inside the house, limiting herself to wearing lace-up boots over socks when she needed to go into town.

─ I want to be your darling.

─ You are. Always has been, ever since I laid eyes on you.

─ No, not like that. I want to be more than I am now. ─ She took a deep breath. ─ I want you to come and have dinner here every day and not have to pay for me to fix your clothes, because it gives me great pleasure to do so. I don't want you to have to leave after you kiss me.

─ Be my wife then, darling.

That time, she was the one who held his hand. Her fingers were smaller than his, knotted from working with the earth and sewing threads, and that only made her more perfect. She intertwined her fingers with his and leaned forward on the tips of her toes, seeking him with that warm, inviting mouth, her breathing quickened beneath her dress.

Willard married her twice.

The second time was in the church where she was baptized, with God's blessing. He gave her a white dress and a veil, only to move it away from her face and kiss her when the priest gave him permission. Few people went to the ceremony and neither of them cared, they didn't have a party, they just went home and he carried her to bed.

The first time, however, was in the dark, outside the house. And it smelled like soft earth and lilies.

Willard married his wife the moment he lay on top of her, hearing her soft giggle as she hugged his waist with her legs, squeezing her thighs around him as the tip of his cock entered the folds of that tight, wet-as-hell pussy. heaven should be. He wanted to give her a good bed, but they didn't need that while they were numb with passion, their lips locked in a kiss full of voluptuousness and promises.

You'll never be alone again, he promised as he ran his fingers over her face, removing the strands of hair stuck to her sweaty skin, hitting that pussy.

You'll never be afraid, he gasped, because she was holding him tight and moaning against his neck, trying to contain herself. I didn't want her to have to hold back those sly, tearful, sweet sounds, but I didn't want her mother to suspect that he was between her only daughter's legs, so she whispered, between smiles, so that she would make less noise, and she would also smile, but he couldn't contain himself.

You'll never have to worry about anything in the world, he slid his hand between their bodies, while he felt his dick invading her, and he slid his finger over her folds, on that pulsing beam. He rubbed it just for pleasure and indulgence, watching her squirm, biting her right hand to keep still, as beautiful and ethereal as angels must be. Then he brought his fingers to his mouth, tasting her on his tongue.

Every day and every night, my blossom, I will be the devil that guards you, her taste was like the best of drinks and the best of drugs. An addiction he would maintain with devotion.

She ran her fingers through his hair, tugging as her walls clenched so tight it was unbearable. He let her cum, kissing her neck and collarbone lovingly, running his hands over her soft breasts. Every day and every night, you will be loved like a goddess and a slut, my blossom, because you are mine.

[yanderes-galore]

Yandere Lucifer who falls for a hell born reader who’s maybe a hell hound who works at the hotel for free as long as she’s helping; hcs please.

I don't watch Helluva Boss but I do have a vague understanding of Hellhounds in this universe so... I'll try my best :) Again I altered the idea a little bit but I hope you still like it.

Edit: The note is outdated as now I do watch Helluva Boss. It's good, ignore past me.

Yandere! Lucifer with Hellhound! Darling

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Unhealthy power dynamic, Manipulation, Degrading behavior (You're called a good girl due to being a Hound, idk if it counts), Possessive/Protective behavior, Delusional behavior, Clingy behavior, Possible kidnapping, Dubious relationship/companionship.

Alright, according to my research, Hellhounds are Hellborn who rank under Imps.

They are bottom of the ladder Demons who are used for labor, pets, or guards of some sort.

Hellborn are unable to be redeemed, as a result they don't typically bother with the Hotel.

However... Here's my idea.

You were originally some sort of nanny or guard for Charlie.

Either Lucifer or Lilith had appointed you, a Hellhound, to care for Charlie when they can't.

This resulted in you staying at the Hotel with Charlie.

The Hotel is a home to you, plus you care for Charlie and help in any way you can.

Lucifer's obsession wouldn't start until he visits the Hotel.

He knows about you, the Hellhound that was taken in because his daughter saw you and got so damn excited.

You had no home, so Charlie's parents allowed you in.

You were so nice with his little girl.

You were an adult female Hellhound who left the Gluttony Ring to find a job in the Pride Ring.

Upon being offered the job of guard and caretaker by Lucifer/Lilith, you take it gratefully.

Since then you'd been caring for Charlie, a loyal servant and guard dog.

The last time Lucifer saw you was when Lilith took Charlie.

Being the ever loyal hound you were, you followed them obediently and left Lucifer alone.

When Lucifer enters the Hotel, he is surprised to be greeted by you.

You're surprised to see him and smell his familiar scent, but you bow and lead him inside.

It... caused Lucifer to smile upon realizing someone does still care.

"There's no need for the bow, girl... we can be casual. Now, how's Charlie? Been treating her well?"

Lucifer wasn't expecting to be so happy when seeing you again.

Maybe it's the depression and the fact his wife left him.

For some reason... he feels a bit attached to you.

Even more so when he sees how loyal you are toward Charlie, often protecting her and receiving pats on your head.

It feels a bit strange for him... but he does think he's falling in love again in some way.

Lucifer probably just yearns for companionship of any kind.

Be that platonic love or romantic love.

You've always been such a big help for him and his family since they took you in.

I mean... you already parent Charlie more than him at times.

Lucifer is noticeably awkward when he tries to reconnect and speak with anyone in the Hotel.

However, he seems to talk fine with you for the most part, often asking about Charlie and how you've been throughout the years, you got your Hellbies shot, right?

Lucifer has trouble understanding his feelings towards you, he may even be a bit delusional.

Yet... he seems rather intent on getting closer to you since he entered the Hotel.

Now, here's where I'm just going to talk little HCs of Lucifer with a Hellhound! Darling.

He definitely would call you a "good girl".

That along with petting you or calling you into his lap.

Lucifer would give you a kiss on the forehead and often just likes holding you to feel your soft fur.

I imagine he's possessive of your attention at times due to feeling neglected by those he loves.

Lucifer may make you rubber duckies as gifts.

He's also asking about you with Charlie since he thinks out of anyone Charlie knows you best.

Definitely thinks you also love him just as much, even if you just see him as a master or some sort more than a partner.

If he's jealous or irritated with something, you calm him down by jumping in his lap and licking his face.

It shocks him for a moment, even if he knows that's just how Hellhounds show affection, but soon it just melts him.

I prefer a dubious pairing in this, but you can see him with a Hellhound darling in either way as you're a guard to Charlie.

He may also be protective since you're such a precious person to him.

With Lucifer... he plans to not make you feel like you're low on Hell's hierarchy.

You're not just a peasant to him.

You're his Hellhound, his good girl who has always been loyal...

Unlike others he's loved....

You aren't a pet to him, although some Hellhounds are often seen that way.

You're someone he sees as family of some kind, you make him and his daughter happy.

You always have...

Which is why he doesn't like the idea of letting you go.

You're loyal to Charlie but respect Lucifer.

Loyal to the point of never leaving the Hotel...

But... what if he ordered you to?

What if he asked Charlie to let him borrow you for company.

He promises you it's okay to part from Charlie for a bit.

He'll return you to the Hotel in due time (He won't).

Lucifer doesn't want to be alone again right now...

You'll be a good girl and listen to your master, yeah?

"The pets feel nice, don't they? There's my loyal girl... missed you so much...! Don't worry about Charlie, she's a big girl now. You've done your part. Just worry about me... alright? Don't need you to go back to the Hotel right now... just need you here with me!"

[xo-hoon]

an eye for an eye — p.sh

pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader

genre: revenge, angst, smut, fluff

synopsis: Sunghoon nurtured a profound animosity towards his childhood friend, Lee Heeseung, blaming him for his sister's death. To Sunghoon, his sister was the only person who had genuinely loved him, making Heeseung's perceived betrayal unforgivable. This deep resentment sparked an intense desire for revenge, driving Sunghoon to extreme measures to achieve it. But to what extent would he go to find satisfaction in his vengeance against Lee Heeseung? Would his plans unfold smoothly, or would everything take an unexpected turn, throwing his schemes into something he didn’t expect.

word count: 4.2k

warnings: swearing, kidnapping (kinda), possessive hoon, mentions of death, fake marriage, depression, fist fighting, minor bleeding, hoon has detachment issues. (typographical errors)

an eye for an eye: last part - masterlist

Sunghoon woke up with the feeling of his wife’s figure laying on his chest. You really looked angelic while sleeping.

He couldn’t help but to stroke your cheek and feel the softness of your lips. He wished to see this sight every morning for the rest of his life. That way, even if it was cloudy outside, he’d always wake up with his own brand of sunshine. He wrapped you in his arms and basked in your warmth. He vowed to never let you slip away from him.

He would do everything to tie you to him forever. And for that to happen, he needed to take action.

He gave you a tender kiss on the forehead before getting up to take a shower and prepare himself for the day. Upon leaving the room, he went straight to the garden where he suspected his father was.

“Dad,” He called. From his newspaper, her father glanced up at him.

“Good morning, son. Sit down. Do you need anything?” Sunghoon sat down in front of him.

“I’m thinking of taking my wife on a belated honeymoon trip.”

His forehead creased. “Where are you planning on going?”

“Japan. I also wanted to visit Grandma and Grandpa.” They had never been close to him, but they knew your family. “I’d be grateful if your secretary could arrange everything for me and my wife.”

He folded the newspaper and placed it on the table. “Why does this seem sudden? What about the farm? I’m getting old, Sunghoon. I can’t manage everything anymore.”

“We have good people here, Dad. They are all hardworking and trustworthy. My manager could take over, so I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” His father fell silent for a moment, deep in thought over what he had just said. “Alright, I understand. When are you going back home?”

Sunghoon shrugged. “I don’t know. As long as possible?” His father’s lips twitched and his eyes filled with profound curiosity.

“Why do I feel like you’re planning to live there? Is there a problem, Sunghoon?”

Yes, there is. Sunghoon laughed. “Nothing, Dad. Anyway, we can’t stay there for long. I just wanted a little vacation with my wife.” He leaned back and looked at his father intently.

“Fine. But make sure to call here often. I’ll get my secretary to arrange everything. I’ll also have him come here to get both your passports.”

“Okay, Dad. Thank you.” He said and stood up after bidding farewell. Sunghoon breathed a sigh of relief. His father agreed. And hopefully, everything would go as smoothly as this.

—

You’ve noticed that your husband has been exceptionally busy these past few days. You already knew he was hard working, workaholic, even. But it’s quite different these days as if he’s constantly chasing after something. Today, he left with his father because they said they had someone to talk to.

You glanced at the oven timer, signaling that the cream cheese garlic bread you made is cooked. Once you checked and saw that they were golden brown, you grabbed the mittens to take the baking tray out.

“Wow, that looks delicious, Y/n.” Aunt Chul said as she just entered the kitchen. You smiled at her.

“I won’t be modest, Auntie. It is really delicious.” You giggled, placing the tray on the table. She chuckled.

“Really? Let me have a taste then.”

“Sure! But let’s wait for it to cool down for a bit,” You said as you removed the mittens and took the tongs to carefully transfer the bread onto the basket lined with wax paper.

“Oh! I’ll make us something to drink, Dear. What would you like?”

“I’ll have some green tea, please.” You requested.

“Sure, just a moment.” She began boiling the water and fetched the cups while you were arranging the bread in the basket, making it look presentable. Shortly after, you and the woman enjoyed the bread and tea together.

“This is so good, Dear!” Aunt Chul happily commented after the first bite. You nodded in agreement.

“Yes, it really is. I wonder who made it?”

The woman chuckled lightly. “No joke, Dear. It really is delicious. The cream cheese garlic bread I’ve had before didn’t taste like this. Sunghoon is really lucky to have someone like you, Dear. I hope you know that.” You were speechless at her words.

“I remember, Sohyun and Sunghoon used to love eating you baked good back then. They were the ones tasting and critiquing your creations.” Your smile faded as you recalled the past.

“I felt that they grew tired of tasting my breads back then. Especially Sunghoon.” You whispered softly.

“Oh, Dear! I doubt that,” The woman said with a chuckle and shook he head. “Didn’t Sunghoon always insist on tasting even the burnt ones?”

Yes, you could vividly remember that. Every batch you baked, whether perfectly made or not, Sunghoon always tasted them. He would praise them if they were delicious and cheer you on to do better next time if they weren’t. He was always there for you, ready to make you smile and feel good. He was your everything backthen. While you couldn’t do anything for him. You sighed.

“Yes, he’s a good guy…” You said softly just above whisper.

“What was that, dear?” The elderly woman asked. You glanced at her and gave a small smile.

“Nothing, Auntie.”

She took another bite of the bread and savored it like a child. “This is really delicious, Dear. I’ll miss this when you’re in Japan.”

You paused mid-bite upon hearing her words. “What? Japan?” You asked, confused.

“Yes, Japan. Didn’t Sunghoon tell you? You’re leaving tomorrow to go to Japan. Your husband has already arranged for your things to be packed,” She explained. Your jaw might have dropped at Aunt Chul’s news. Japan? Leaving? Tomorrow? You had no idea of what she was talking about. You felt your phone vibrating in your pocket.

“Heeseung…” You murmured as you saw the registered number. Quickly excusing yourself from Aunt Chul, you hurried upstairs to your room to answer the call.

“Heeseung?”

“What’s this I hear about you and Sunghoon leaving?”

He asked sternly. You paced back and forth in the room, feeling like a cat about to give birth, anxious and unsettled.

“I don’t know! Aunt Chul just mentioned it to me just now. I had no idea. Sunghoon hasn’t said anything about us leaving.”

You stopped in your tracks and pulled at your hair, feeling frustrated. What was he thinking?

“He’s freaking insane! You need to come home now, Y/n. We need to talk about this,”

He insisted.

“But—”

“If you won’t come here, I’ll come there.”

He said sharply. You took a deep breath.

“Okay, I’ll be there in an hour.”

You quickly left the mansion, being careful not to be seen by anyone. You also didn’t ask the driver to take you to avoid anyone from knowing where you were going. Upon arriving at your house, Heeseung form immediately greeted you. His face was serious.

“Let’s talk inside.” He said, leading the way.

—

Sunghoon and his father was greeted by Aunt Chul once they entered the mansion. “Would you like to two like to have snacks or rest first?” She asked.

“I’ll rest for a bit. I’ll come down later for dinner,” Mr. Park replied, heading up to his room.

“And you, son?” The woman turned to him. Sunghoon smiled at her.

“I’ll go rest first, Auntie.”

“Is that so? Y/n baked cream cheese garlic bread,” She added making him chuckle at her obvious teasing.

“I’ll go see her first, Auntie,” He replied.

“Oh, yes. That’s right.” She quickly agreed. “Go on, she’s in your room. She went up there after we ate earlier.” She gently nudged him.

“Hurry up now.” He chuckled at the woman’s gesture. He was near the stairs when she called him.

“I’m glad you hear your laughter again, son.” She said sincerely. He smiled back at her.

“Me too, Auntie.”

He went up to their room. However. It was dark inside, and you weren’t there. The windows were open, and the curtains swayed gently with the breeze. He wondered and checked the bathroom as well, but you weren’t there either. He went downstairs to find Aunt Chul.

“Auntie, have you seen Y/n?” He asked. She furrowed her brow.

“Isn’t she in your room?” He shook his head. “No.”

“Well, I just came from the garden, she wasn’t there either. Did you check the study? Other rooms?”

“Not yet,” He sighed. “Wait, maybe she went to her brother? Your wife had someone calling her from her phone earlier.”

Your phone? He recalled Heeseung visiting the bakery. He felt knot in his stomach. The fear he felt when he woke up and found the woman was not by his side returned.

“I’ll be out for a while,” He said and rushed to his car, got in, and drove away.

—

“I have talked to a friend who’s willing to lend us the money we need. If you’re still worried about that bastard’s check, I’ll go top the bank tomorrow and—”

“It’s not that simple, Hee,” You whispered. You were both on the sofa in your living room, having a serious conversation. You felt a chill at what your brother wanted to happen.

“What do you mean?” You sighed and looked straight at him. “Do you think Sunghoon would just agree to that?” He wasn’t able to respond. “He wouldn’t, Heeseung.”

Heeseung ran his fingers through his hair in frustration and leaned back on the sofa. “Then I think it would be better if you took some time away from him,” He suggested.

You shook your head. “I think it would only make things worse if I did that.”

“Then what do you think would work?” You couldn’t answer. None of your plans had worked. Reconciling the father and son. Gradually avoiding your husband. None of it happened.

“Look, y/n. I just want you safe. I don’t want you to get hurt, that’s why I’m doing this,” He said, holding your hand. “I’ll face Sunghoon myself. I’m the reason for all of this.”

You gave him a sad smile. “Liar.” He paused. “We both know who’s really at fault for all of this.”

He tightened his grip on your hand.“Y/n, I don’t want you thinking like that.”

You sighed. “Let me handle this, Hee. Let me leaver with Sunghoon to Japan, and there I’ll figure some things out.”

His eyes narrowed and he let go of your hand. “Are you seriously telling me that you’re really going with him?”

You looked down. “Honestly, I’m still hesitant about it. I’ll try to convince him later not to leave. But if he insists, maybe it’s better if I go with him for now.” You pleaded with him to understand. “I just can’t leave him.”

He stood up abruptly, clenching his fists.

“No.” It was a firm command. “You stay out of this. I’ll confront that piece of shit right now, and I’ll resolve this mess with him.”

“I’m here, Heeseung,” You and your brother almost simultaneously turned towards a cold and low voice. You gaped as you saw Sunghoon there.

He looked at you. “We’re going home, Y/n.” He was about to reach out to you but your brother’s large figure blocked his way as he stood up.

“Over my dead body.” You grabbed his arm.

“Hee, don’t start.”

“He was the one who started all of this!” Heeseung exclaimed. “And for what? Revenge? Only children would think of—” You gasped as Sunghoon lunged forward and delivered a punch at your brother’s face.

Heeseung slumped to the floor due to the impact. Your eyes widen as you saw Heeseung’s lip split open. You rushed to him and hurriedly wiped the blood from the corner of his lips. He stood up, his eyes glaring with retaliation for the punch he received from Sunghoon.

“Stop it!” You shouted, trying to intervene to break them up. When they didn’t budge, you raised your voice louder. “Enough!”

That seemed to snap them out of it, reminding them of your presence. Both men were panting heavily, and you could feel the tension thick in the air around them. You faced your brother. “We’re leaving. I’m going with him.”

He grabbed your arm. “No!”

“Please,” Your voice trembled in plea. Reluctantly, he let go and gave Sunghoon a sharp look. You called a helper and instructed them to bring a first aid kit. “Treat your wounds, Hee. Take care.” You hugged him.

You felt your husband tug on you. “Let’s go,” He whispered. He guided you out of the house towards his car. Heeseung didn’t follow, which you were thankful for. Upon reaching the car, Sunghoon spoke.

“Don’t try to run away from me like that.” He looked at you intently. He seemed to claim all the good looks in the world because even in dim light, he still looked godly… whit a bruised lip. You reached for his face.

“You have a bruise. Let’s hurry home so we can treat that,” You said.

He grasped your hand. “Answer me. Tell me you won’t run away from me.” His intense gaze made you feel like you were burning. You nodded slightly in response.

“Say it, damn it!”

“Sunghoon, I...” He held both sides of your face and gently forced you to meet his eyes.

“Is it really that hard? To be tied to me? To stay with me and remain by my side?” Your lips parted as you saw the desperation on Sunghoon’s face, as if his life depended on you staying.

“I promise I won’t hurt you. I won’t. I can’t”

“But you’re hurting my brother. And because of that, you’re also hurting me.” You don’t have the right to complain. You deserved the pain. But your brother?

He let go and sniffed the air. “Okay. You want me to stop hating on your brother? I can do that. I’ll do it for you.” He looked at you with a longing look. “You also said I should forgive my father? Fine, I’ll do that too.” You couldn’t speak. What was he trying to do to you? He reached out and held your palm, then clasped your hands.

“If I do all that, will you stay by my side? Will you promise not to leave me? Will you stay with me forever?”

“I realized that I was blinded by anger. Sohyun wouldn’t want me to blame the man she loved forever.” Joy enveloped your heart. It felt so good to hear your husband’s words. You never expected that he would be willing to do everything just to keep you by his side. That he’s finally ready to set his anger aside. But there’s one thing he didn’t know. And Sunghoon would hate you more if you keep it hidden from him much longer. You should have confessed earlier.

How will he believe you now? Even if you tell him that you love him…

Your eyes stung with tears. You shook your head. “No… You don’t understand.”

Sunghoon lifted your face with a finger, wiping your tear that traced a path down your cheek. “What do I not understand?” He asked, his voice soft yet urgent. “What is it, Y/n?”

You could only shake your head, your tears falling relentlessly. Sunghoon enveloped you in a warm embrace, offering you solace in the cold, dark night.

“Please, Y/n,” He murmured, his voice trembling with emotions. “Just promise me that you won’t run away. That we’ll always be together. That’s all I want to hear. Please.”

You continued to sob into his chest. Truth be told, you wanted the same thing—to be together forever, to be happy in each other’s arms. But that was impossible. It was never going to happen. You sniffled and gathered all your courage. Gently, you pushed him away from you. You shut your eyes tightly before looking straight into his eyes.

“It wasn’t my brother’s fault that Sohyun died. It was mine.” Your throat ached, and the words seemed to resist coming out. “It was only right that I pay for what I did. So it’s not fair that you blamed Heeseung for what happened…”

You saw Sunghoon’s expression change. “What are you talking about, y/n?” This isn’t your fault.”

You stood firm You knew you had to stick to the truth, no matter how painful. “It was all my idea. It was my decision that led to Sohyun’s death. I can’t let Heeseung suffer for something he didn’t do.”

A mixed of shock and confusion crossed Sunghoon’s face. “It wasn’t Heeseung’s fault that your sister is no longer with us. It was my fault. The anniversary surprise, the candle lit dinner—” You gulped, and tears streamed down your cheeks again. “Those were all my idea.” You roughly wiped away the tears, but no matter what you did, they kept falling.

“If I hadn’t suggested all that, Sohyun would still be here. You wouldn’t be left alone. Everything would be okay.” Your chest tightened as you confessed everything to him. “Sunghoon… I… I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

You could barely breathe from crying, and through it all, Sunghoon just stood there in front of you. This must be it. He must be hating you now and cursing you to death. You wouldn’t be surprised if he suddenly told you to rot in hell. You turned away to head back to your house. You had your answers. You didn’t need to leave because Sunghoon wouldn’t want you anywhere with him anymore.

You calmed yourself and dried the tears to see your way, but a tight hug from behind stopped you in your tracks. The embrace was so firm, you could barely breathe. You cried even harder. Sunghoon turned you around and you buried your face in his chest.

‘I’m so sorry. I never thought it would all end in an accident.”

He comforted you. “Heeseung’s surprise for my sister was your idea. That’s all it was. You and Heeseung didn’t mean her any harm. Both of you just wanted to make her happy.” You pulled away slightly and looked up at him. There wasn’t a trace of hatred on his face.

“Aren’t you going to yell at me? Sohyun died because of me.” At that, you started crying again. He sighed and tried to calm you down.

“Weren’t you listening? To be honest, ever since you came back to in to my life, my anger had gradually disappeared. I think I used what happened as an excuse to keep you by my side. I could never hate you.”

“But—” He silenced you with a kiss.

“I’m sure my sister is happy up there. I know that because I felt like she’s watching over me from there. Sohyun never wanted me to live a miserable life.” He gently stroked your hair.

“She once told me that I should stop shutting myself from the world. And when she died, it felt like my anger was the only thing keeping me alive. Until I saw you again. You were so bright that I wanted to put everything behind me. And I remembered that my sister told me I always needed to stay in the light.” He carefully caressed your cheek. After a very long time, you saw the man you loved once again.

“And you are my light, Y/n. you’re my very own brand of sunshine. The moment I saw you again, I felt alive. You complete the happy days I once had.”

If this was a dream, you wished to be a princess who had slept for a long time. And if possible, you hoped never to wake up. If this was real, why did it seem so unbelievable? You had expected a mad beast with eyes full of hate, not a handsome prince with eyes filled with love.

Oh God. Is this real?

“Yes, Y/n. This is real.” You hadn’t realized that you voiced your question out.

“But, Sunghoon. I know how much Sohyun’s death affected you. I don’t want you to hide that from me just because you promised not to hurt me. Whatever makes you feel better—”

“It’s true that my sister’s death nearly killed me. But you…” He paused, searching for the right words.

“The thought of another person I love frightened the hell out of me. If I lose you, I know I won’t be able survive.”

You embraced him tightly. “I won’t leave you.”

“Do you really accept me as your husband, Y/n? Are you ready to be with me for always? Will you love me too?” He looked deep into your eyes.

You wanted to say yes. You wanted to tell him that you already loved him. That you have loved him for a long time. Your gaze shifted towards your house, where you saw your brother watching the both of you. He nodded, as if giving you the encouragement to do what you truly wanted. Slowly, a smile spread across your face. You looked up to Sunghoon, who was gazing at you with complete love. Tears pooled in your eyes again, but this time, they were tears of joy.

“I love you, Park Sunghoon.” You finally managed to say. “I’ve always loved you. Even when our paths separated, that love never faded. I still love you.” Sunghoon let put a breath, his eyes closing briefly.

He hugged you tight and kissed the top of your head. “Thank you. Thank you for loving me.”

You returned the warm embrace to your husband. “I still feel guilty about Sohyun,” you sighed.

“Stop it,” He scolded you gently. “She loves us, and I know she wants us to be happy. There’s nothing to worry about now, baby.” Right. Sohyun had been a kind and loving sister top Sunghoon. She treated you like a sibling too. She genuinely loved your brother. She wouldn’t want anyone of you to be sad.

Under the moonlight, you promised to love the man you promised to be with for a lifetime with all your heart. You would give him the light he needed and all the love you could offer. You would be together for an eternity. And it would start now.

“I love you so much. Y/n.” You heard him whisper. You tightened your hug on Sunghoon even more.

“I love you.”

It was supposed to be rainy afternoon according to the weather report last night. But the weather seemed to be cooperating with them because not a single dark cloud marred the sky. You wondered how it would feel to live in a world where there was no sadness and pain; where only the warmth of love and happiness enveloped you.

Then you realized that in this world, one need all those sufferings to appreciate the beauty of life. You should face your fears and endure trials to become a better person. You smiled as you looked back and saw your husband leaning against the tree where you were taking shelter.

Sunghoon is a great example of someone consumed by darkness, yet learning to return to the colorful world. Well, all of you went through some tough times, but you believed it was Sunghoon who suffered the most. You approached him, locking eyes. You sucked in your breath. He still looked dark and powerful, but that was just because of his striking physical appearance. The dark aura that used to surround him was gone.

“We need to get going, you know?” You reminded with a smile.

He held your waist and pulled you closer to him. “I know, baby. I was just doing some reminiscing.”

“Like when you tripped here while we were chasing after Sohyun and Heeseung?” you teased him. The corners of his lips lifted in to a smile.

“Very funny.” You grinned and planted a quick kiss on his lips.

“So… Shall we go to Sohyun’s grave?” Before, his expression darkened whenever he remembered his sister, not it didn’t. He maintained a light demeanor. It was Sohyun’s death anniversary, and you planned to visit with your brother, Heeseung. The feud between the two men had been resolved.

“Yeah, I think we should go now. I want to catch Heeseung being dramatic.”

You wrinkled your nose. “How mean.” Sunghoon just grinned and kissed you quickly on the lips. You both started walking towards his car.

“You know what? My visits to my sister will be different now,” He said.

“What do you mean?”

“Before, whenever I would visit her, I always said I would seek revenge on those responsible for her loss.” He tightened his grip on your hand. “But today would be different because you’re with me, and Heeseung and I are okay. I used to visit her with a heavy heart, but this time, I would face her with a smile.”

“And she must be smiling back at you,” You said happily.

“I know.” Sunghoon stopped walking and looked at you with lovingly.

“Thank you. Thank you for being my light, y/n.” You were momentarily taken aback but quickly returned the smile to your lips.

“I always got you. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

[christinebloodwrittings]

Die in your arms #2

Alastor x Fem!Reader

Taglist: @littlebluefishtail @maxlynn17 @vxllys @modifiedmonster @sirens-and-moonflowers @qardasngan

Warnings: Smoking, some cursing, tension.

Proofing made by: @littlebluefishtail

November 1913. New Orleans, Louisiana.

Alastor admired the signature changing leaves of Autumn, the shifting colors seemed to him more like an announcement of death’s arrival than a beautiful aspect of nature. And yet, that didn’t discourage him. 

But he felt cold and numb, trapped in a monotonous routine that was no longer comfortable. Having his hands in the warmth of fresh blood was a thrill that partially filled the void in his mind and body, a thrill he would like to have during the day.

He had a hard time remembering how he had started his obsession with watching the sparkle in his victim's eyes fade. He had a hard time remembering why it amused him so much.

How unbearably distasteful. 

He had little time to think about it, given societal rules its ever present watchful eyes scrutinizing his every move. They pushed him against the wall of so-called established social normality, which affected him day by day.

Twenty-four going on twenty-five and no wife, living on the edge of town, never interested in pursuing dates or women. That raised suspicions. 

- Either he’s a homosexual or he’s hiding something- people muttered as they saw him walk.

The first few months working as the charismatic and handsome radio host, he was able to put up with the comments against his skin color, his Creole accent, and his lack of marital companionship, but after two years of work, he began to reach his limit.

Then his boss pops out a question.

"Heartfield, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?” Howard saw Alastor as a hermit, but also as a hard-working and ambitious young man, he had this elegant style attitude, sly and also cunning and good with words. 

Perfect for a woman such as yourself, one that had no filter whatsoever. 

“Nothing special” he admitted, he wasn’t a fan of holidays, not if he had to spend them alone, “How about you come over? My cousin is in town, she’s cooking, and we would like to give our silent dinners some twist” he had to laugh at his awkward comment, it was his boss after all.  

“How could I refuse such an offer? What should I bring?” It would have been rude to decline the invitation, especially if someone was going to go through the trouble of setting an extra place at the table for him, and having the opportunity to have a home-cooked dinner, which he hadn’t had in a long time, was a high benefit even if it came at the expense of a night with his boss. 

“Whatever you want, my cousin will be preparing a lot of things, so bring your appetite.” Alastor thought of the last Thanksgiving he ate turkey, which reminded him he skipped lunch that day, painfully so. “Will do” he limited himself to answer.

Tuesday 18th, Thanksgiving. Alastor woke up strangely excited. He ironed his burgundy suit, polished his shoes, he even styled his hair so he wouldn’t look like he stays out into the late hours, sleepless. 

It is a tradition to fast during the day in order to have some space for the feast, so he had only eaten a slice of bread and a cup of coffee from nine o'clock onwards. He felt nostalgic, excited, depressed and anxious, but perhaps it was the hunger talking, or the fact that he hadn’t spent Thanksgiving at anyone else's house since his mother died.

On the way to his boss's house, he thought about buying a bunch of sunflowers for the table. The wine he was carrying in his hand was already a lovely detail, according to his reasoning, but it would impress his boss, not the company his boss had at home.

"Good afternoon, I am in need of a modest bouquet of flowers" he explained as best he could to the lady at the store, who took pity on his anxious state and made him a mixture of chrysanthemum, marigolds and pansy.

“Right on time, Heartfield” Howard received him, took his coat and hung it on the deer antler rack at the entrance, one he took out from the basement just for the occasion. 

“Please make yourself at home, she should be down any minute, I’ll go check on the turkey” before he went inside the kitchen, Alastor took it upon himself to give him the wine he had bought, pleasing his boss upon eyesight. 

"Ah, Riesling, good choice." Since Howard was a known alcoholic, it was obvious he appreciated the kind gesture. "Thank you, though I think I played it safe," he said, as if he hadn't exactly known what to wear, an ideal humble mask. Of course Howard made sure to point at the bouquet with a mocking grin, "Surely, these are for my cousin?" Alastor examined the roots sticking out of the brown paper wrapping the flowers. 

"Yes, they are," he stated with a moral lump stuck in his throat, according to his upbringing it is good manners to offer flowers, had he done wrong?

"I didn't know you could be so thoughtful." Howard calmed his frayed nerve with a smile and a friendly pat on the shoulder, before retreating to the kitchen, like he stated earlier. 

It would have been rude to run out of the house. Alastor didn’t expect to feel anxious, much less like he was short of breath.

He had unconsciously prepared himself with conversation topics based on the radio show he hosts. 

He had accidentally glued himself to the spot Howard had left him in, a few steps from the entrance. Flowers in hand and undecided about whether to hang his hat on the rack or not.

Hearing footsteps coming from upstairs, he straightened his suit and took off his hat. Looking over his glasses, a silhouette stole time and the ground from beneath his feet.

It was as if he had seen a glimpse from when he was a little boy. His mother, limping downstairs one step at a time, after the accident  that had busted her leg. After adjusting his glasses he saw you, hands gripping on the railing for dear life.

"Y/n take small steps, you're going to hurt yourself" a second voice, soft and motherly, spoke from upstairs, a nurse as he recognized the uniform. 

Y/n, your name rolled again in his mind.

"Rosemary, I swear" your voice was hoarse and broken, making a warning to the nurse that followed you a few steps behind, muttering that you had already fallen once.

"Slipped, I didn't fall" you continued making small efforts to get down, given that you kept stepping on your skirt. 

"Rosemary, one more tone of pity and I will throw myself out the window" Alastor was taken aback by your warning, though it wasn't directed to him, he was amazed by how forward you could be.

The railing was facing the wall, so Alastor mainly watched you struggle down the stairs from your back. 

"Don't you dare, I spent a lot of time stitching you up!" The nurse quietly hissed to you, though Alastor heard her nonetheless. His stomach tightened when he saw you, the rim of the bandages showing off the neck of the dress tying the knot around his organs even tighter.

"I hate this color" you breathed, hand on your rib as you tried to support your weight against the railing. "Yellow is such a happy color" Rosemary tried to get your mood up, "Like jaundice" clearly not working, "That's just the stress talking".

"It's the lack of air, it's too tight" you pulled the bottom hem of the corset out, pinching over your dress, not helping release some of the pressure. "A corset has never killed anyone" Rosemary laughed at your angry quips, knowing you were just nervous and stress-talking nonsense.

"Oh yeah? Make sure they add that to my obituary, big letters, Lungs punctured by ribs because of a damn corset!" Alastor couldn’t help but scoff at your comment, especially after watching you make each word of the imaginary headline with your hands in the air. 

"I will make sure the intonation doesn't go unnoticed when the news gets presented on the radio" he jested, a big smile on his lips. 

 And then you left him paralyzed, cold in place. You looked over your shoulder at the stranger in the doorway, eyes whose anger was untold. He felt as if he were staring down the barrel of a rifle, cornered in the darkness. And yet, excited, alive, expectant.

"Do men also have to wear this type of sh-...stuff?" you bit your tongue and refrained from cursing. "Well, the shoes aren't pillows, and the tie can make a wonderful noose" he was wearing a long tie, just to spice things up. The same he pulled sideways and then up his head. 

Your gaze softened, not much, but to Alastor’s eyes, it was much less menacing. 

"Ever felt tempted?" he knew he had stepped into safe terrain when you joined his joke, "When the coffee machine broke during overtime, yes" and then even safer, when he swore he saw a smile reach your eyes. 

"I would hate to interrupt our chat, dearest, but you're dangerously stepping on your skirt" he pointed to your feet, following your stare down, he offered his hand from a distance, "May I?". 

He didn't move, he offered his help but did not make a single advance from where he was standing. Not until you nodded.

Alastor's hand, unlike yours, was bare. It was a good thing you were wearing leather gloves, since it would have been too much to touch someone else's skin again.

"Thank you...sir" he helped you walk down the rest of the stairs, feeling the faint shake of your muscles. "Alastor Heartfelt, at your service" he made a small bow, "Y/n Desmond" you mimicked his body language, not making a single sudden move. 

Both of you felt like you were dealing with a wild animal. Alastor looked at you carefully and calmly, as if he were facing a pack of wolves. You only saw a man, an enemy, a monster.

"Pleasure to meet you" his voice waivering slightly as he brought your attention to the bouquet, "These are for you, I hope it’s okay, I chose the ones with roots" you let go of his hand to grab the bouquet, that’s when he saw your face for the first time.

You never once looked into Alastor’s eyes for more than two seconds, and since he was taller than you, he had never really looked at your face until that moment. He realized that he never saw you smile, it was a cut on your right cheek that started at the corner of your lips all the way to your cheekbone, a permanent half smile on your face.

Sloppily covered with makeup.

Your eyes turned so big as if they were a child’s, shining and mesmerized with the colors. What a strange change in your demeanor, he thought. 

"Chrysanthemum...thank you" you made room in between him and the stairs so the nurse could come down. A woman in her forties, with a sweet voice and mannerisms. "This is Rosemary, she's...a friend" More than the sweet and motherly treatment she gave you when bandaging you, it was her name the thing you liked the most, since it was that of an herb with a very pleasant aroma.

Alastor offered her a smile and a polite salute, like a true gentleman. 

"Nice to meet you too. Now kids, I'll let you celebrate" Rosemary touched your forearm gently, saying goodbye, under her fingertips she felt your muscle move involuntarily. "Say hi to the kids for me" you knew she had a girl and a boy, she confided that information to you, even after knowing what you did, in hopes to get closer with you. 

"Will do, bye Y/n, nice to meet you Mr. Heartfelt" Rosemary was confident in leaving him with you, because she knew you would make him regret it if he ever touched you inappropriately. 

After she left, there was an awkward silence between you, not an awkward one that makes you feel like you have to say something. But that’s what Alastor turned it into. 

"So...I heard you were cooking tonight" you had prepared everything beforehand, even the pie was ready. "Yes, you can still run away" two steps back, the way you walked away from him, subtle, careful. "How come?" he smiled, shifting his eyes from your feet to your eyes, the cold stare came back. 

"Cooking is not my strongest suit; Howard was extremely paranoid" your tone didn’t match your face, it was playful. "Per usual" he agreed, "Probably, I did wreck the pie by mistaking the sugar for salt, so do yourself a favor and don't bother trying it.” He saw you go, your eyes moving fast and steady, yet hands clutching at the wrapping paper. How odd, he thought.

Playful tone, the defensive body language, menacing stare. The bandages, the cut, gray-ish skin, your retinas partially red. All consistent with abuse, either past or current. It made him wonder about the real reason he was invited to dinner and how he should approach you, or if he should at all. 

During dinner Howard didn't stop talking. It was either about how his business was going, Alastor being the star of his own segment, or his marriage that led to a messy divorce. All under the influence of Riesling and three fingers of whiskey, of course.

When it came time for dessert, Alastor was the first to ignore Howard's warnings and try the pie. "Savory pumpkin pie, it's like a quiche, it's very interesting" all while Howard snorted, half drunk.

"Don't try to be nice to me" a half smile, more mocking than sincere, was all Alastor received in return for his - in his words - flattery.

"Believe me, I'm not even trying, it's really good" for the love of the art of deception, he pretended to be more than just nice, but he smelled a plan, something was about to happen and he was stuck in the calm before the storm.

And speaking of which. After the disaster dessert, Howard invited Alastor to the garden for a smoke. 

A cigar, one of the many things Alastor loathed.. The smell was tolerable - funny enough-, he just wasn’t enthusiastic about the very particular type of men that makes use of said thick chunks of inhalable cancer. 

"So Alastor, I want to go ahead on a business offer" Howard was nowhere drunk enough to have that discussion, but he was determined, and god - and Satan- knows there’s no limit that can stop a drunk man with a mission. 

"Do I get a raise after two years?" Alastor nearly choked on the smoke, - it wasn’t his first time smoking, but it has been a while - making a joke to ease up his bad omen alarm. 

"HA! Good one" well that hurt his pride, you thought observing from the window. His body language shifted -oh so deliciously- violently. You slipped the very first laugh in months. 

"Y/n, does she seem pretty to you? even with the…" It bothered Alastor how his boss made a smiley-hand motion over his lips, then the curvy motion, how vain and fucked up. 

"Due to legal complications, she cannot leave the premises unless she marries or the due time is met" a bowling ball fell on his lungs, Alastor choked and coughed his lungs out. "Legal complications?" he managed to ask, thanks to the crude combination of drinks, Howard was too focused on his own issue to mock him.

"Well, she..." Howard swished his cigar in the air, looking for the right word for it,  "Got caught up in a fight, the police interpreted it as a crazy female insanity moment" and managed to make it sound worse - somehow -.

"Well that was low" you muttered.

“This is beyond inappropriate Howard” he wasn’t wrong.

“I know, but I already had ten other suitors and I can't get a decent man to like her” Howard only then started to get lightheaded, “You two seemed to have good sync back there, so I dunno” he slurred.

And then he shut off, flat on the grass.

“Did he give you the talk?” Alastor didn't have a second to react to his boss's sudden fall when you opened the door.

"He started…I think. What is that about?" you ignored his question, signaling him to take your cousin’s arms as you did his legs, taking his limp body up the stairs and onto his bed. 

"Mr. Heartfelt, if you'd like, you can have the rest of the turkey and forget this ever happened, he won’t remember it either way" as you walked your way downstairs to get his hat and coat, he followed you slowly, being aware of his leg length. 

“Ten suitors? None your type I assume” it was his challenging stance, the tone and how he bit back his lip, he was being a little shit, maybe on purpose. 

“I don’t know what you mean” playing dumb wasn’t your smartest idea, he saw right through that. “How bad did that legal complication of yours end?” 

“Mr.Heartfield” he cut you off, smooth as butter that bastard, “Alastor” you didn’t have many options but to comply, much to his amusement. 

 “Alastor, it was just a monumental misunderstanding, it got fixed, I’m just in house arrest as a precaution, for my safety that’s it” you handed him the pyrex with chunks of turkey inside, hearing him only humm to himself.

“How desperate is he to get rid of you?” very, the moment he read about the mobsters he wanted to kick you out. “He hates family drama, and thinks an unmarried woman of my age is a bad omen”.

“We seem to be in luck” he paced, the same four calculated steps, over and over. “How so?” you stepped away, using the living room table as a separation. “May I be frank with you?” he pursed his lips again, “I’ve been in the business for two years. Popularity has its perks, but the stalkers are no laughing matter” yet you laughed. 

“How unfortunate” you dismissed his self-melancholy, “Indeed, I don’t have the luck to be a divorcee like your cousin, I need a wife to keep the peering eyes elsewhere” while humming, you caught sight of his chestnut brown eyes, inspecting your essence down to the very foundation. 

It felt disgusting to be seen like that again. 

“With me on your arm those eyes will look at you repulsed” 

“Better yet.” 

“Wouldn’t that affect your ratings?”

“Not if I play this right” he smiled. 

He thought you were a game? You could play too. 

“What’s in it for me?” he arched his brow, slightly impressed and intrigued, “Oh, you thought I would be swooning over your accent and the compliments?” It was an exotic accent hidden under a trans-atlantic cover. 

“What do you want?” He quipped as he slid around the edge of the table, turned and stopped, a solid five steps away from you. “I want a cut of your earnings, a garden and my own bedroom” not at all what he thought.

“Don’t spouses sleep together?” he taunted, “Spouses that have sex sleep together, I don’t want you near me, not when it’s not necessary” one step back. 

“We wouldn’t have sex, at all?” he had this amused grin, a delicious contrast to your frown, “Is that a dealbreaker?” you hoped it was, not because it was him, but because as soon as you lay out that condition, the suitors find the door and disappear.

“I’m just trying to understand, you don’t hear this condition from many women, especially when arranging a marriage” he had a fair point, but didn’t deny it either. "I have no desire for kids" you placed your card, sure in your declaration.

To him it was unusual, to say the least, but it couldn’t be more perfect, something had to go wrong, you saw that hesitation in his eyes.

Some day he would realize how much he gives away with his eyes.

“Look, you get your dainty suburban wife cover, while I get my privacy, my hobby, and some independence when I get to be outside” 

“What else do I get?” 

“Witty conversation, a clean house, warm plate, need I say more?”

“Privacy, garden, money. I can work with that” 

"Seems we got ourselves a deal then" one sealed with a subtle kiss to your hand. 

[candycandy00]

I saw you reblogged a lot of stuff from x men. How would you pair the jjk men with x women?

I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to answer this, anon! I hope you’re still around to see it!

Gojo x Rogue

Both have powers that make them basically untouchable. Both are freakishly strong. Both are considered extremely attractive both in universe and out. Rogue is very used to dealing with a hot, arrogant guy who thinks he’s a gift to humanity (that’s basically her type). Gojo would no doubt like a feisty, fun loving woman like Rogue. 

Geto x Emma Frost

Both can be cunning and duplicitous. Both are extremely sexy. Both are natural leaders that people tend to want to follow. Both have dealt with depression, and both have spent time on the “good side” and the “bad side” in their respective stories. Also Emma is a telepath so she could probably help Geto a lot with his emotional problems.  

Nanami x Storm

Both are considered the “mature one” of their groups. Both care deeply about the younger generation and become mentors. Both are very intelligent, and can be very kind but also stern when necessary. Nanami is one of the few men who wouldn’t feel threatened by Storm being a lot stronger than him. I think they’d get along very well. 

Sukuna x Dark Phoenix

Let me be clear. Dark Phoenix using Jean Grey’s form. Not Jean herself. Honestly I just want to pair Sukuna with someone who completely dwarfs him in power. For fun. I think he’d kinda be turned on by the fact that she devours entire solar systems for breakfast. Oh the chaos they could get up to together. But there are some similarities! Both have taken over the bodies of multiple humans, both are often associated with fire/flame powers and imagery, and both are motivated by their own hedonistic desires for pleasure. 

Choso x Psylocke

Both are strong martial artists. Both have brothers they would and have done anything to save/protect. Both have experience with inhabiting bodies that don’t belong to them. Also Choso needs someone very forward and upfront about her feelings because he’s the type to totally miss signals. And that’s Betsy in a nutshell. Betsy also seems to have a thing for emotionally damaged big brothers. 

Toji x Kitty Pryde

Okay these two have practically nothing in common besides having weird purple creatures that like to hang out on their shoulders. But they are each other’s type for sure. From what little we’ve seen of her, Toji’s wife seemed spunky and feisty (the way she’s grinning in the Zenin family tree thing says a lot). That fits Kitty. And then Kitty’s two primary romances were with a huge, muscular dude and an assassin with a checkered past and very questionable morals. Both with black hair. Toji would be like catnip to her. 

Higuruma x Cecilia Reyes

Both had respectable careers they shined in before being dragged into this superhero nonsense. Both were pulled into the action late in their lives, compared to most other characters, and both had to adapt very quickly to a world of violence and powers and villains. Both are highly intelligent and practical. These two would have plenty to talk about! 

Yuji x Jubilee

This is a match made in heaven, basically. They’re both young and fun loving, both capable of being silly and serious, both orphans who had to grow up fast, both have powerful mentors they greatly respect and want to make proud. Both even have a far more serious black haired friend that they annoy. These two would have a blast together hitting up the arcade or going to the movies. 

Megumi x Husk 

Both are hard working and put a little too much pressure on themselves. Both feel like they have something to prove, and both are a little too willing to sacrifice themselves for what they see as the greater good. Paige has a thing for moody guys in black and Megumi would definitely like a genuinely nice and caring girl like her. 

Yuta x Monet

Both are among the most powerful of their groups. Both are considered prodigies, both have a vast assortment of skills and abilities. Yuta is definitely attracted to strong, domineering women and Monet fits that completely. And due to Monet’s painful past, she really needs someone kind and caring like Yuta. 

Inumaki x Moonstar

Both have abilities they have to be very careful to control or else risk hurting their friends. Other than that, I just think they’re cute together lol. 

[topconfessions]

Ohh I also watched the video and I just can't describe how much I hate korean media. Not saying T.O.P is 100% innocent weed is illegal in korea thats a fact but he was not even a distributor or something and he paid for his wrongdoings according to their law (which was right obviously). so instead of him and them(media and netizens) moving on they do still try to potray him in a bad light or boycott him and this guy has still to apologize since 7 years. We fans often talk about how he still has some unresolved issues cause it seems that way and I think he couldn't heal properly cause almost every year he had to apologize. One time is correct two okay but then move on. If you are constantly reminded of the issue with hate comments flowing in how could someone heal?🤦‍♀️ The fact they treat him is not normal. They don't even hate sexual offenders like this in the media somehow they manage to make a comeback. Its the same thing going on with yoo ah in right now how they are witch hunting him is crazy. Its unbelieveable that korean media is not treating more severe actions as bad as they treat someone for weed as in T.O.Ps case.

Tbh. The sexual offenders, AGAIN are relatively normal men mentally and physically. They aren't mentally ill, they aren't moody or have attitude issues, they don't act bizzare, they don't have complex and strange behavior online, their sexuality isn't in question 24/7, their actions don't extremely misconstrue their narratives, the offenders are usually ESTABLISHED and have a great catalog of top series or films behind them (keep in mind actors are more respected than idols, regardless of what they venture into) and most of thes offenders have a traceable dating past, dating scandals or dating rumors or are already involved with a woman.

They subliminally respect offenders or bad people in the industry who have tangible and normal things going for themselves they can relate to or be more invested in. Top is argubaly obsecure and mysterious about his dating and barely has 1 solid public past gf or rumor on media file that is verfied (asia chow doesnt count cause she was rumored). GD at least has Kiko. Taeyang is married and went about things with his wife the right way.

Also, bigbang had developed a reputation of having many scandals behind them back in the day. Its a combination of a lot of things. Also top stopped working and his interests were with wealthy people and nothing easily consumed up until a couple years ago with the wine business. He doesnt give the public much to work with and his silence enabled the public to sadly be "right" about him even when they were wrong also his social media acitvity in general.

I love top. I do. But I'm not going to sit here and act like he's byunghyun, lee minho or Rain or somebody. He's in that kanye category. If kanye didnt drop a project or work on anything but kept acting crazy with censori people would be gunning for his ass the same way too lol.

I think top is very sensitive and he has too much time on his hands and something is off in his social circle or he needs some medication like anti depressants. Cause he is at too much of an advantage in life to act like he has no physical freedom or finanical freedom to pull himself out of this.

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond / react.

This is why the others get a pass and he doesn't. I'm sorry. I hate this for top and on the surface its not fair but I get it. Like for instance, let me relay this in a way most can understand (unless yall hate who I'm about to mention) its like chris brown getting passes and still doing well in his career but Justin Timberlake who never put hands on a woman is cancelled left and right depsite coming from one of the biggest boybands ever cause his mistreatment towards britney spears & Janet Jackson (Michael Jackson sister) verbally (and the titty superbowl gate) did more damage that last for decades than a mutual fight with Rihanna in a car he didnt start for no reason and him having a poor anger problem / shitty dating life. Chris me minus the usher birthday thing are more internally and self focused plus he has a long catalog of great hits like justin, he NEVER GAVE UP AND LET THE PUBLIC DOG PILE HIM OUT OF THE INDUSTRY AFTER RIHANNA FIGHT LIKE TOP DID, and he's diverse in a way that the public can find tangible.

Top is diverse but you need a strong interests in tops interests or to be wealthy / rich to engross yourself in that. Top wasnt consistent in his acting career and didnt keep acting cause he has a hidden habit of only wanting to do major roles or a film after he grinded a little with shows like Iris at the start of him trying acting. Hollywood and The entertainment industry is not fair and doesn't run on logic. It's sadly not suppose to and never does. They wouldn't be making more money than us if it did.

Chris is doing better in most aspects than Justin timberlake by a landslide cause he doesnt isolate or hoard his talents and always collabs with young artists and foreign artists in africa like davido with afro beats etc while Justin privately refused to take execs advice decades ago and do what usher did with mentioring a young new talents and teaching a new talent the ropes (usher with justin bieber). Justin didnt want to do that cause he wasnt going to prop up a new talent especially a younger better one. Thats why he slipping and has scandal after scandal now and needs nsync. Had he mentored a young artist and threw his endorsement behind him or her? Like usher. It would've kept his career fresh, relevant, and opening the door to new opportunities and tours without having to do much work for it. Usher wouldn't be where he is today right completely had he not ever gotten involved with Justin and...ugh...kim K putting his residency on (yall argue with ya mama, I said what I said. Kim did indirectly blow his residency up and made it extra hot. It was successful before her but when she started going and her bringing some other famous friends along that had more clout, everyone and their babysitter and mama in hollywood started going).

You get what I'm saying? The public keeps track of the little things and the overall presentation. I mean, byunghyun may be messy but he works, is consistent, does a damn good job when he works, and he isnt allover the place or had to stan. I'm using him as an example since hes in squid game too and has scandals.

Top, again, love him down, is still growing and learning. He's truly a young youthful child in a grown mans body and his whole course of navigating his career and personal life shows it. Thats why the public cant give him a pass. And top doesn't try to earn public sentiment or make things better.

Its a lot. It really is. Its like if MJ was still alive but being a weirdo then not giving a fuck about the fans and giving us NOTHING to work with and he didnt make that last album then had attitude. He'd get chewed up too lol.

[kerubimcrepin]

Liveblog: Wakfu Season 1 (episodes 21-26)

Episode 21 - Igol

This is a big episode because this is where we get the "Adamai knows stasis magic" lore drop that is never elaborated on, or mentioned altogether.

Episode 22 - Rubilax

Someday, someone will complete a translation of the Dofus manga in russian or english and I'll finally learn what's the deal with this man and why he died and got better and how crazy his doomed yaoi with his dead dragon husband gets.

Heartbreakingly, this day is not yet here.

[Kerubim and Goultard crying together over a drink, begin talking at the same time] I miss my dead wife, Goulatrd/Kerubim. I miss her/him a lot.

Big lore: Sleep masks exist in this universe.

Episode 23 - The Quest for the Dofus

He'll get it eventually. I did.

Episode 24 - Reunion

I love their family so much, I wish they could be happy. But every time something changes, it's far too late... It is tragically realistic, I suppose.

I don't know why, but this is such a pretty frame... The soft morning light, the dim room, the plants the glowing mushrooms...

Also, rare moment to take in what the guest rooms look like at the Sadida castle!

This episode (and at least one past episode) has quite a bit of ciphered text that I haven't been translating because I'm evil. Sorry. It's not the same script as the texts in Aux Tresors, despite the similarities, so you'll have to resort to google, or to decoding it yourself. You could start with the fact that this presumably says "Arbe de vie"

Episode 25 - I Am A Legend

Stasis mention 🔥🔥🔥

This whole scene always makes me tear up. I am actually insane and crazed every time I rewatch the last two episodes.

Your insane Joris trivia of the day is that this scene was changed between various airings/versions of Wakfu. For some mysterious reason. Here's a comparison:

I prefer the old version because.... [blushes] [kicks legs] [twiddles with my hair] HES SO PRETTY—- But also besides me being insane and in love with him, it just seems to have better composition and flow, imo.

My theories for why he was late:

He was sent to get reinforcements from other countries, or call for help. Though it is unlikely that many other kingdoms responded, given how little people care about Sadida (the most likely, normal, and realistic explanation)

He went together with the army of Sadida and the king to fight the war and ran all the way here using his insane speed (the second most likely, normal, and realistic explanation)

He overslept

He got lost

He was busy, man...

He was writing a letter to Keke and Atch about how he beat the shit out of some sadida guards and two girls clapped and cheered and lost track of time.

This exchange has always been so funny to me for some reason.

"What is the situation" He says,, while a giant mecha is about to kill what likely amounts to one-twelfth of the world's population.

I have talked about it a lot, but I am so deeply unwell about how cold he is. A girl lost her lover and is crying inconsolably, and he's not really paying that attention. One twelfth of the world population is about to die, and he won't show an ounce of discomfort or horror or grief.

Obviously he doesn't like it, but showing any weakness is out of the question.

More people have died from Ogrest, and she's like, the 60th girl on a battlefield on his memory to be crying after losing someone.

There are no unsolvable issues in this world.

I need to study him like a bug.

Episode 26 - Mount Zinit

Standing so prettily...

I think one of Joris's core "insanity and depression prevention" life philosophies is that, if he is not present at a battle, and can not physically be present, then he's not to blame for any horrible thing that happens.

I think this philosophy works almost never to quell his feelings of unease, and right now he is calculating 132924 ways he could have gotten here faster and just how much it would fix things.

(guy who runs a blog about pointing out obvious things Joris does voice) There's a very subtle expression change here. He starts looking intently as Amalia proposes going to help Yugo and Adamai. He was going to do this. However, the second he hears her yell "no", his expression changes once more.

We don't see whether he rushes to aid Eva in any way after she collapses from grief, but I will be honest — he would never do that.

Even if he has a pre-established good relationship with her. He just can't do that. He probably stands there awkwardly, in that same exact place, and feels very bad the entire time — because he can neither comfort Eva (they're practically strangers, he hesitated far too long, he'll make things worse—), nor go help Yugo (he can't just leave Eva and Ruel alone... What if more enemies appear? Or what if they think he abandoned them amidst grief? And would he even be useful?)

I think standing next to inconsolable people is Joris's personal hell.

I am insane.

I think one of the reasons Wakfu season 1 is so memorable, and so effective, is that there is no glorious pay off.

Yugo has a heroic moment of friendship overpowering everything — and then, after a second of being scared, Nox overtakes him. Nox wins. And that win is a mere 20 minutes. And for what? Pinpin is still dead. Everyone he killed is still dead.

Yugo doesn't get a glorious win, or his friend back. There is no epic swell of music. Just something quiet, foreboding, and truly meaningless.

OMG HI.

Your daily reminder that canonically, Eva is an amazing artist.

💀

Once again, Sadida Kingdom and Bonta have a very good relationship. Besties who hoard magical nukes together stay together.

[thegreengnome]

Helaena targaryen x male uncle targaryen reader. Instead of marrying Aegon she marries the reader and they have children jaehaerys, jaehaera and maelor (let's imagine they are not from Aegon)

Fandom – House of the Dragon

Word Count -1080

Pairing – Helaena Targaryen X Taelor Targaryen (OC)

Warnings – N/A

Taelor Targaryen is the surprise third child of Prince Baelon. After the death of his first and only true wife, Baelon fell into a depression – his true love was dead – how was he meant to continue without her? He needed comfort and who better to comfort the distraught prince than a Lannister. A cunning and seductive Lannister, who now had a seed planted in her belly.

Honor demanded the two wed much to the satisfaction of the Lannister house. Not eight moons later a son was born to the pair. The smug lady Lannister had succumbed to the birthing bed like so many before her, this left a newborn baby in the arms of an emotionless prince.

The most humane thing the gods had ever done for the young prince was to kill his father. While a great parent and role model to his older sons, to Taelor he was cruel and often expressed disgust at the child that had not come from Alyssa. Perhaps he felt guilt over fathering him.

This passing left the young boy in the care of his eldest brother and his family. Raised alongside his much younger niece and nephews.

Due to being several years older then said nephews and niece Taelor adopted a leadership role. He was their protector and he took this job very seriously.

Which is why she was finding it difficult to remain still as the maester stitched up the open wound that once held Aemonds vibrant purple eye. The grip on the back of Taelor’s tunic kept him stable and grounded. Reaching back, Taelor made sure that Helaena was hidden from the view of the crowd around them.

They were Targaryen’s- the greatest power in all of Westeros – a family. So why were they constantly fighting.

His half-brothers only cared for Rhaenyra, all the love they possessed in there boy was given to one instead of spread out too many. Viserys younger children left behind in the wake of their much-loved older sister. Taelor knew from experience how hurtful parental neglect was, so he vowed to be everything his brothers were not. He would show his younger family members the loved that they deserved.

Xxx

When the inevitable search for a spouse for Taelor began, he sat through countless small council meetings his brother and eldest niece throwing potential brides at him.

He was a Targaryen; he would not settle for someone beneath him. So, he went to the queen.

The solar was quiet as both waited for the other to talk. The two had a complicated relationship – still a child herself Alicent was given the task of raising not only her own children but Taelor as well.

“We both know your father wants Aegon on the phone”

Alicent remained calm, sipping her warming tea, her ringed fingers clutching the delicate porcelain.

“I am also aware of your plans to marry him to Helaena” the tea made its way down. The queen’s sole attention on her charge.

“I think it is a foolish decision. To marry two possible heirs to the throne to one another instead of gaining outside alliances”

Humming Alicent seems amused. Of course, she had no desire to wed her children together but her father always got what he wanted. “And who do you suggest?”

“Me” not many things can surprise the queen but it had seemed her ward had achieved this great feat.

“You?” Taelor had always been good to her children and as much as it pained the queen to admit her eldest son was not the ideal candidate to marry her sweet and dream like daughter.

“Why? What would you gain?” everyone had their own plan to win the game- what was Taelor’s?

“A loving wife. No one knows Hel like I do. Aegon would not treat her with the respect she deserves. We both know this to be true”

“Marrying us would guarantee the loyalty of the Lannister’s who have historically been fickle”

Mulling the offer over Alicent asks the question that her father would be desperate to know “and what of your stance to the throne?”

“The throne is of no consequence to me. Whoever sists the throne, it is all the same. I will support Helaena in everything that she does and if that includes helping her brother then so be it”

Xxx

They wed two moons after Helaena turns sixteen, enough time for the couple to prepare for the union. The wedding itself was a small affair, much to the chagrin of the Queen. Knowing how uncomfortable his lady could get around crowds, he insisted on a small ceremony. An idea which gifted him the reward of a shy smile from his soon to be wife.

Helaena looked radiant as she walked towards Taelor to be cloaked. Her dress a hightower green, with white glittering gems encrusted through the bodice. Her hair braided intricately with a silver butterfly pin bringing the look together. The maiden’s cloak was a work of art, well in Taelor’s humble opinion. It perfectly showed who Helaena was. Dreamfyre imagery throughout with a scattering of spiders for good measure. The cloak made as her wedded one held much the same art as the maiden one but with the added image of Taelor’s dragon curled around dreamfyre.

Xxx

Not even three moons later the couple were blessed with good news. A babe was in the princess’s stomach.

That one babe turned out to be two and Prince Jaehaerys and Princesses Jaehaera was born. Throughout the labour Taelor remained at Helaena side. Ignoring the disapproving looks from the maester and the Queen. He swept sweety hair from her face and whispered words of love and encouragement into her ears. Because that was what their relationship was now- love

The babes were only hours old yet they already had their parents wrapped around their tiny fingers.

Xxx

The twins grew fast – too fast for there fathers liking. They brought joy to everyone in the keep, even their uncle Aemond was seen to crack a smile in their presence.

And soon the twins were joined by a younger brother Maelor. The spitting image of his mother, with wide eyes and that curious expression.

The family of five was happy and content. The married couple were often found in the company of one another with their kids following like small ducklings.

Despite this happiness, Taelor was always ready. He knew that when his eldest brother finally passes the dance would begin.

[lovingdabeessss]

You think Taiyang has a favorite child?

💖If it isn’t my favorite tagger back again💖

Thank you for asking this, this is actually something I’ve been desperately wishing for an excuse to talk about because my defense for it isn’t great

Anyway back to the question sorry

Yes I do 100% believe he has a favorite

There’s no doubt in my mind it’s ruby

I think he loves them both of course obviously but he FOR SURE favors Ruby

We know from his interactions with Yang he tends to project onto her things about Raven that aren’t necessarily true for her the way he talks when they spar like her whole thing is anger and strength and that focusing on that is her biggest weakness, which is true for Raven, however yangs problem is her self sacrificing nature and obviously he sees Raven in her even more cause they look similar and it’s just.. she’s not someone tai has purely positive feelings for considering all the betrayal and abandonment not that he doesn’t still love her at all but you know

He definitely projects things about himself onto her as well and considering NONE of the fucking STQR family likes themselves ESPECIALLY not taiyang “11 year long depression nap” xiao long and so he’s got that against her and then she got herself abandoned putting more fuel to that particular fire

And I think while they were dealing with the death of summer when Yang started taking on roles she was too young to take he just… let her… and then eventually those things were just her job as the oldest and a lot of things became her job and he kinda slipped into seeing her as more help with Ruby then someone he was supposed to be raising

And like even when he recovers he had to get back into parenting which is hard so he probably started out just doing stuff that were already needed, and Ruby was her own problem cause she needed stuff but only really accepted getting help from Yang at least emotionally depending on how bad you believe tai’s shut down to be and otherwise she’d get things from qrow whenever he wasn’t on missions from Oz so she was just hard to get to accept anything from him

Yang despite being very supportive of the idea of him recovering and finally someone helping her out a lot and having a parent at all again… she is incredibly independent and doesn’t really seem to need anything that he knows how to give and she also genuinely probably just doesn’t know how to have a parent anymore, she’s so used to being the parent and she doesn’t remember getting to really be the kid

So she’s just kinda reduced to third parent

There’s also the fact that Ruby looks exactly like summer who he did leave off with good positive feelings for and then she’s all that’s left of her

AND Ruby’s the youngest speaks for itself possibly got that “guest in the house” treatment youngest sometimes get where they aren’t treated as much as part of the family and more of a guest which is nice but isolating even if she tried to help Yang with chores Yang would get in trouble for having her do it kinda thing

However I do think that tai would’ve wanted Yang to back off of raising Ruby so much so he could be her dad and she would maybe accept him as that more hence like the Ruby queendom things of how she won’t be there for her forever but Ruby doesn’t want him to and Yang doesn’t fully trust him to

IDK THO just messy unorganised family dynamic thoughts

IN SUMMARY!!!:

I think Ruby’s his favorite I think he loves them both but is struggling to parent in wake of the lose of his wife and struggling to relearn how to do it after his recovery and Yang struggles to even be parented and they speak NONE of these emotions to each other cause they’re allergic to talking about their feelings ever

[necarion]

Orpheus and Eurydice and Hades and Persephone

I've been toying around with a retelling of Orpheus and Eurydice (because obviously the world needs more of that) that shakes up the standard dynamic. A rough outline of the plot is as follows. (Original rough outline was like the first 10 bullet points. This got away from me. I am not sure whether this is webnovel, webcomic, or series of musicals)

Basic setup is the same. Eurydice dies on her wedding day and ends up in Hades. Orpheus bends heaven and Earth to make his way down to rescue her.

In the meantime, Eurydice has ended up befriending both Hades and Persephone, because she's a [insert cool talent not typically in the original, maybe dancing?] in her own right. She and Hades get along well, but Persephone starts crushing hard on Eurydice.

Then Orpheus shows up, having musicked the shit out of Charon, Cerberus, the River Styx, the band Styx, the entire Elysian fields, etc. Dude is a rockstar, I mean to say.

He does his whole shtick to get Eurydice back, and ends up really appealing to Hades (and somehow getting Persephone's back up). And shortly, Persephone realizes that Hades is starting to crush hard on Orpheus.

Ultimately, Persephone is the one who conceives of the whole "don't look back" test, but making Hades suggest it. She then plants doubt in Orpheus's mind, etc.

Orpheus looks back, the tragedy happens, etc.

Hades was sure Orpheus was going to make it, and ends up really depressed because he thinks it was because Orpheus didn't trust his wife (sad) and also him (sadder, because he'll be back one day).

Persephone initially exalts in her victory, until she sees how depressed both Hades and Eurydice are and realizes she's been a massive manipulative bitch this whole time.* [Note: I originally didn't like this idea, but became more comfortable when I realized how much it turns on its head the annoying "innocent Persephone" thing. Let someone else be the bad guy for a while. And then got even more cool when I realized what would come next]

When Persephone's mandated 6 months in the underworld end, she goes back up to stay with Demeter. She broods the whole time, and then hatches a plan: when it's time to return to Hades, she goes AWOL and stays in the Overworld to go track down Orpheus.

You get some of Orpheus's story afterward. He's depressed, hanging out with Jason and the Argonauts, etc. Jason is kind of a douchebro and they butt heads a lot, but you get some bonding with Atalanta, Asclepius, and Hercules. Persephone is slowly catching up. She finally runs into them at the island of the Sirens but Orpheus is playing too loudly to hear and Odysseus Jason doesn't believe that they're actually trying to get Orpheus's attention.

Shit starts to go down after about a month when Persephone hasn't returned to Hades (there's a bit of flexibility here after centuries. Persephone told Demeter she'd be going early and Hades that she'd be going late). Hades and Demeter both realize she's gone missing and end up putting some of their past behind them to track her down. They both love the shit out of Persephone in their own way and cannot stand her being hurt. Even if they're both super pissed at her for their own reasons. Hades has figured out that Persephone was behind breaking up Orpheus and Eurydice (guy is kind of cold-seeming / autistic-coded, but he's smart and he talked to Eurydice a lot. Plus there are some legendary figures down there who are not idiots about people), and while Demeter is a tad overprotective at times, this is a woman who threatened to destroy the entire world if Zeus wouldn't get her her daughter back.

So, you've got Persephone tracking down Orpheus and Odysseus, crashing with various legendary figures (including Iris for a while, because why not have an episode of Rainbow Surfing?), and increasingly hiding, trying to avoid the Buddy Cop / Sibling Car Trip Clusterfuck that is Demeter and Hades trying to find Persephone.

Persephone finally catches up to Orpheus, still depressed and hanging around with Jason, at around the time Jason dumps Medea. Just in time, he and Persephone manage to convince Medea that killing her children is not the answer (Persephone was friends with Media back in the day). Persephone will take them to Demeter if Medea really can't handle it (don't worry. Badass sorceress Medea makes a great mom eventually). But while Medea knows why Persephone has been hiding from her mom and husband, and is smart enough to figure out that Persephone is trying to right a wrong, Medea is also fucking pissed at Jason, so extorts the other two into helping her get some sweet, sweet revenge on Jason.

[Revenge plot. Not sure what happens here and care a lot less. Presumably new GF dumps Jason, who ends up forced to join the Trojan war, where he's just fundamentally not as cool as everyone else running around at the time. Basically, crush the man's ego.]

Somewhere in here, Demeter and Hades realize they're just not thinking on the right level and go back to the underworld and grab Eurydice, who's been getting super bored. [Possible minor subplot of her organizing a [talent, maybe dancing?] troupe among the denizens of Hades?]

Eurydice's job is not easy, because one of Hades' and Demeter's first ruses was "hey, we've got Eurydice, come see".

[Why are the two still running? Probably need some MacGuffin in here about Orpheus needing some item to be able to return to the underworld at-will, and if they're caught, Persephone's ability to help will be restrained, and Hades will only be able to offer death, in keeping with his nature.]

Eurydice wises up to this as well, and so starts to buy time for the two. She uses her [talent troupe] to gather intel and delay. Hades does start to notice (dude isn't dumb) but is still constrained by his own rules. He plays along as much as he's able, and Demeter does her own work trying to help get the MacGuffin for Orpheus. Just as Orpheus (with Persephone) ends up inheriting the Argonauts from Jason, Eurydice ends up inheriting the Muses.

The whole crew meets up, right around the time Zeus finally notices that WTF everything is out of whack. Seasons are messed up, Fate isn't working right, Irony is Dead, etc. It takes a really long time because Zeus is a bit of a doofus.

[Need some sort of final boss battle of the various Greek Gods, mythological figures, etc. Orpheus, Eurydice, Persephone, Hades, Demeter, and respective teams have gotten a lot of friends around Greece. The other Gods kind of want the status quo and peace and quiet back.

This boss fight will be a clusterfuck, but also needs to end out well when people start talking, and Zeus ends up browbeaten by his sister Demeter again.]

Everyone is absolutely exhausted, but victorious. Conditions of the ending: Eurydice is still dead but has a 182 day-per-year at-will pass, to hang out on Earth. Orpheus is still alive, but has a 182 day-per-year pass to hang out in Hades. Hades, Persephone, Orpheus, and Eurydice spend a lot of time together, of course. But the four of them also get to have their own pairwise time by splitting things up.

Orpheus, Eurydice, and the Muses establish the Demetreum, a major center for the arts and sciences (they're not idiots and dedicate it to Demeter whose help made all this possible). It has rooms for a rotating cast of heroes, artists, philosophers, and even gods. A bunch of the Argonauts and Medea live there full-time making sure stuff doesn't get fucked up. There are so many tragic characters hanging around that they're able to provide checks on each other through regular group therapy sessions. [Nobody has the exact same tragic flaw]. (Yes, the Fates need to get bought out somehow).

Exit on the Best Performance Ever, as Eurydice's [troup of talented people, probably dancers?] collaborates with the Muses and Orpheus composing the greatest possible music. Giant final number.

The End

[kawipastell1928]

HAZBIN HOTEL THEORY W SPOILERSISH

Firmly believe that Eve and Lilith switched places, Consensually. We've all seen how Adam is about women in general and how trash he is, plus how Lucifer has obviously been in a funk/depression for a LONG time as even Charlie could remember even as a small child that he wasn't feeling okay.

Now I don't think they did it to be malicious or as some manipulative scheme, but instead as two strong women who have spent their entire lives managing or taking care of the men they are around, and when they met again realized that the other's place is what they needed, even if just for a little while.

Eve being in Hell allows her to be free and not having someone belittle/talk down to her as she finds what makes her truly happy without limits and Lilith in Heaven gives her peace and to take care of herself. As someone who's had burnout of taking care of someone you love for so long, it takes a toll and they switched places to help themselves heal/get better to be better for those who need them.

Now, Alastor. I believe that Lilith made a deal with Alastor like many have theorized but instead of him hanging around Lilith I believe that she had him be around Eve as she took Lilith's place as someone who could be a guide in Hell while figuring herself out. I also do not think Adam or Charlie are aware of this arrangement between Eve and Lilith as I don't see Lilith as a mother who would abandon her child for her own selfish needs, and instead did it when Charlie began leaving their home and doing her own things in Hell.

Now, with a comment that Lucifer told Adam at the Finale I'm inclined to believe that Lucifer does know his wife and Eve traded places, but doesn't know it was because she needed a break from his Depression. But, I do think she is going to be very happy to see that her husband is doing much better with a better relationship with their daughter and that Lilith only kept Charlie at a certain distance from Lucifer cause she didn't want Charlie to see how bad his depression made him or make her feel like she had to stay around in obligation to help them, wanting her daughter to feel free to do what she wanted.

Obviously, a theory and nothing confirmed, but I can't see the creator making Eve or Lilith crappy characters, especially how everyone was upset that Stolas's (ex)wife became such a simple hated character, someone who just seemed to make it feel okay how Stolas treated others and support his relationship with Blitz. I can't wait to see what actually happens with the characters though, especially with how it ended and I encourage everyone to go watch and support Hazbin Hotel finally making their way to streaming!

[tastee-selfshipping]

You're so lovely

PART 1 of the list of F/O's that have tags! this starts with the romantic F/O's! the second part will come soon

PART 1: you're here! PART 2: it's over there! QUEER PLATONIC: over here, silly!

this is inspired by @rhiatargoed-selfships post! I recommend checking out their blog and reading their boundaries, they're a really cool person!

all I ask is that you respect me, that is all :3

let's start shall we?

(most dividers are all made by someone else; I can't really remember what accounts I got these from, please remind me who!)

𝑅❀𝑀𝒜𝒩𝒯𝐼𝒞 𝐹/💮'𝓈

[FUNDAMENTAL PAPER EDUCATION; MISS CIRCLE] [TAGLINE; 1 + 1 = me and you!]

"You're my favorite person, my wifey, my lovely!" Miss Circle would say to me and I will honestly make her the bestest oreo cakes I can!

yes she's a murderer of students but I have a feeling she feels bad deep inside, just that her carnivorous urges take control better of her!!

I'm her little pogchamp by default hah- /silly

she'd definitely help me with math in college, maybe be a bit more patient with me. she'll get annoyed but she'll just use her available claw to give me a tickle attack heheh :3c

[FUNDAMENTAL PAPER EDUCATION; MISS BLOOMIE] [TAGLINE; what a chemistry!]

Miss Bloomie is a huge tsundere when it comes to her feelings but she's so soft I believe, I love her design she's so silly! look at her!

"darling, please stop gushing about me" she'd probably say if I was talking about her to others tehee :3 she's just so precious, I'd hate to see her sad, I'd hug her!!

will need her to biology class in my future university oh goodness!! but I'm sure she's as patient as can be

[REGRETEVATOR; WALLTER] [TAGLINE; improvised concrete]

"Dear, I messed up my last love. I won't ruin it this time, please trust me when I say I'm glad you came and knocked some sense into me. I needed that. where were you when I needed someone like you?" my dear wallter you're stupid but you're also very handsome

I'd definitely hate he's like- in some sense an alcoholic- will force him into therapy and try to stop him from buying anymore grey stuff, even if it meant hurting him. it's for his good, I won't let him go to waste dudes-

I love him very much but it can be tiring it seems.

[REGRETEVATOR; MANNEQUINN MARK] [TAGLINE; treehouse lovers]

"I didn't get him any flowers...I feel bad now cause now I don't really get you any either, even if you loved flowers darlin'.." poor Mark tried his best in his last love, I'll be sure to be as patient with him as I can cause he deserved that-

I'm very forgetful too- I can relate to him forgetting to give gifts, I'll be a little sad but I don't wanna blame him too much. I'm just grateful he's my love is all.

but loving him can- also be a little tiring- him being so depressed over Wallter a lot can hurt but at least he loves me!

[REGRETEVATOR; PEST] [TAGLINE; you stole my heart too]

he's grumpy, he's another tsundere. he is awkward when it comes to love and much like the other two CAN be tiring to love, he can be such an ass!

but I know he tries and shows his love in his own ways, like trusting me in hugging him or other things! (and maybe even not stealing my money!) he bakes with me and I'll cook with him, were a duo, partners in crime!

he's an ass but he's my ass.

[REGRETEVATOR; MACH] [TAGLINE; banhammer and warhammer]

she's a poker face stoic woman but I love her either way <33 she's handsome, pretty, beautiful, hot, AND SHE'S A GOOD WIFE!

one I don't think I'd get tired of loving, she would definitely treat me right. I love her very much, my wife :3

she's very silly, she gets a little confused of what to do sometimes but she's getting the hang of it

probably asks me what I saw in her and I'd ask her the same question back hahah!

[REGRETEVATOR; FOLLY] [TAGLINE; nightmares' little toy]

yes she brings suffering onto others but like lampert I put the uno reverse in this dynamic

yes it hurts what she says but I'll admit it and say "yeah it is what it is" and she'll go "what- but-"

overtime I somehow make her laugh heheheheh, I'm very happy to make her happy!

it probably isn't too tiring to love her, I'm her little exception when it comes to nightmares, she'd kill for me like Mach would!

would also ask what I saw in her heehehe

[FNF VS IMPOSTOR; BLACK] [TAGLINE; I'd kill for you]

self explanatory, he's a heartless killer but I'll definitely make his own heart beat again!! I'd be willing to adopt Grey with him too- I don't mind being an adoptive mum to someone! I'll be upset and scold him for killing his father but what can I do?

his backstory is also very sad, yes I know he's ruthless now but he wasn't before! maybe deep inside he misses that part of himself, and he shows that

he treats me very softly :3

[FNF VS IMPOSTOR; MONOTONE] [TAGLINE; I'm the doctor! I'm the patient!]

he's a gentleman, a man who'd kiss my hand and he would give me a bouquet of flowers along with a heart shaped box of chocolates as gifts to me and I'd love how cheesy it is! cheesy but endearing and I love it! I'm a sucker for cheesy cliche stuff when it's in the right moments!

he's lovely as a hubby hehe <33

[FNF VS GOREFIELD/LUMPYTOUCH; GODFIELD/OPHIUCHUS GOREFIELD] [TAGLINE; my divine mortal]

he was just minding his business his whole life, a gentle soul who was treated with a harsh fate. all he wants is to make a world where no one gets to suffer and I understand that, he would only bring those worthy enough in his eyes to his world to rebirth them

but I'm an exception, he sees me as a flawed little human, but I was HUMAN, his little human he laid eyes upon.

he'd be a gentleman as well, would probably spoil me heheheh

[FNF VS GORFIELD V2/LUMPTOUCH; SANSFIELD] [TAGLINE; kitty puns]

I used to be a sans fangirl I think, except I never had a channel made for that hahah- I have no interest in sans much anymore but for some reason this guy just gets me yaknow? maybe it's because he makes me laugh and he's just very goofy, chill in a sense. or maybe I just like laidback guys

either way, his cuddles are soft! and he would get me echoflowers filled with him complimenting me because it's cute and cause he felt like it! I love this goofy fella, he makes me laugh <33

[FNF VS BOB; BOB] [TAGLINE: Blob and I]

silly guy, I love the silly fella...

Bob is probably the most cracked up fella but he's also very sweet and loyal! (I'm his wife guys trust /silly), smooching and mwas his forehead

his creepy side doesn't scare me at all, in fact, it impresses and shocks me. I know he wouldn't hurt me and he does his best in showing his love to me even if he's a dumbass with it :3

[ROBLOX PRESSURE; SEBASTIAN SOLACE] [TAGLINE: Be gentle with yourself love]

my poor man has been through so much, his anger and resentment is justified and how he's treated is not fair :( I'd go as to say I will never flash him, One; that's mean and Two; I want to save my flashes

maybe that's why he got out of his way to get me items he knew I'd like; gummylights, blacklights, a flash beacon, medkits, or maybe even a code breacher! maybe it's cause I visit him and talk with him like an old friend is why he treats me softly too, rather than mocking me in a way to be mean, he just playfully teases me and welcomes me with a warm smile!

I'll get him out somehow and someday I promise :')

[rosyk]

Seven in Silence

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader

genre: heavy angst, romance, slight thriller, passion

warnings: family problems, anxiety, separation issues, depression, and light curses

word count: 17.1k

a/n: Hello everyone! I came back from the dead lol. This was not proofread but also the most interesting story I've handled because I wrote the first part two years ago and continued it this year. I really enjoyed how this one ended up and I hope you do too <3 (also any feedback regarding the way I changed [name] to y/n instead cause others seemed to be enjoying it better; what do you think?)

There I was again, planning to do the usual routine even at my best friend’s wedding. Right, I was supposed to be happily crying for her but today seemed off. The tears overflowing as I faced the mirror in the women’s restroom, burns my cheeks and sore my eyes. It hurts so bad but it isn’t as if that wasn’t my everyday lifestyle. I cried after knowing I had another day to suffer and wept in my sleepless nights. Common breakdowns, that’s it. I take this as something unacceptable though especially in the time my partner in crime would be off in her white dress. I should be in joy, rather than make her feel bad.

I sniffed and wiped away my tears. I pulled out a foundation on my favorite sling bag and placed it on my face to cover up the marks under my eyes. As I was about to leave, I hesitated twisting the doorknob. “Great” I sighed after remembering. I am not on good terms with some people she’s friends with, but I don’t want to break it to her. I shook all the thoughts away and took a deep breath to prepare myself. Opening the door, my first steps were something I was proud of. 

Heading to the same table as they are, they greeted me with smiles. What I meant by that was ‘humiliating grins’. I despised it but I should make sure I wouldn’t cause another ruckus. 

“Anyone with you?” Emily, the girl who mocked me in class way back in high school, decided to speak up. The remaining girl fake gasped and her eyes widened in false concern. “Sorry, shouldn’t have talked about it” smugly, she remarked. 

They know well that my best friend is the only one I could count on. After my image was broken due to them setting me up, she’s the only one who accepted me at my worst. It still pains me that after this reception, I’d be all alone once again. 

Without letting them recognize the effect they’ve placed on me, I gave a slight smile that remains unnoticeable and replied “It’s fine. I went here alone, and it doesn’t matter”. I let it off with a slight chuckle to make it appear as a joke but they understood the context in which her group rolled their eyes and some scoffed. Reminiscing the memories, I saw her crying to death when she couldn’t be accepted in their ‘sorority’. She couldn’t live without having someone by her side, but I could; that’s the difference I wanted to say. 

Hearing the host clearing his throat, we were brought back to reality and faced him. He started with opening remarks that took too long for me to struggle to keep my tears back on my eyes. Swiftly acting as if I was admiring the place, I looked up and around the venue for a short while for it not to appear so obvious. 

Hours came by and yes, she was married and it was a mission accomplished. Her partner or now known as her husband is a lucky guy to be able to live with Yuna throughout her life. Everyone needs a Yuna; I’m so happy for her but now that I can’t be that free in communicating with her as she had other duties as a wife, seemed to be a problem for me.

It was just us in a cafe right now to celebrate, like what her friends claimed to say. Awful, suffocating, I was so out of place because I never was in their group. Not that I would want to anyway.

Every time they’d joke, I forced a slight chuckle as if I was amused with everything they said. Yuna, who is quite naive, was really happy because I get to enjoy myself with them. Her friends, on the other hand, raised their eyebrows at me and tried to hold in their laughter because they intended to make an inside joke I’ve never heard of. My pride sank but all I could do was smile.

The room was filled with loud chatters, contrastingly, I sighed mentally. It was a crowded room but I felt lonely somehow. I’m convinced it reassured me that I would have to be alone at the end of the day, and it’s not helping me get over it. The walls continued to scream insecurities and insincerities. 

Thus to distract myself, I shifted my eyes and it landed on a tall man in the window, just right after a couple finished eating and left it vacant. The atmosphere was pretty awkward after realizing his eyes reached mines. It took seconds until Yuna waved her hand in front, causing me to flinch a bit. 

“Hey, are you on the same planet as me? What are you spacing out for?” She continued and exhaled deeply. I blinked my eyes and finally registered the sequence of events after a few minutes. The others started to laugh and commented about how funny I was, which was an act of sarcasm to continue their process of humiliating me in subtle ways.

“Are you desperate to the point that you’re seeing things?” Regine, Emily’s sidekick, boldly opened the discussion even in front of Yuna. 

My best friend, of course, was left surprised and scolded her. “Gina!” she whisper-yelled and her eyebrows furrowed as a sign that she was disturbed by it. She started patting my back and I appreciated that she tried to console me somehow; even though it had hurt me more than enough. 

“What? Even we’re curious!” They laughed in unison except for Yuna. My partner in crime didn’t know about my discomfort but she got the hint that they were used to talking bad about me. She was exasperated due to the reason that it was hard to believe. After all, I seemed ‘close’ with her group.

It did create a sting in my heart and indeed I thought of it. Was it my hallucination? But all I could focus on was the blonde’s eyes who seemed to know me so well. Yes, it was impossible, even I think I was going crazy. I wasn’t able to identify his face. If a handsome, perfect guy was to come my way, is it logical to comprehend that I’d forget him? Definitely not. I didn’t know what hit me; is it my drive of finding another friend who’ll love me even after being the worst? Was it guilt? I’m not too sure myself but his eyes held meaning. It was like he asked the same question as I did a while ago; have we met?

My gut tells me to follow after him and my curiosity cheered me on. “I’m excusing myself” I didn’t look back and quickly took my sling bag with me and left. My white flowy dress blew up a bit but dropped as soon as I placed my bag on me. I ran and heard Yuna calling me out and it’s conclusive that the remaining felt like they’ve won because my best friend shouted furiously at them. Though I didn’t care as I was fixated with the guy. There’s something about him. 

Except he wasn’t in the same place anymore. Scanning the area, I looked at the slim streets in front. “He doesn’t seem to be there as well,” I thought. I heard footsteps coming from my side and warily turned around. 

“Young missy?” He was there. Across the street, his silhouette starts to make its way to me. As soon as he saw my face, he brought up his camera and a flash blinded my eye. That strained a bit and so I winced. I blinked both of my eyes slowly to get rid of the slight feeling that makes me want to puke. The flash affected me but all he did was chuckle and so I glared at him. He then noticed I was ready to place him on his grave so he lifted both of his hands as an indication of surrender. 

“I thought I was in heaven for a moment” I raised one of my eyebrows and bit my cheek in frustration. Call me childish and overreacting, it could affect my eyesight badly and I’m worried about that. Plus, it stings like hell. 

The man could only laugh, in which I thought he was slightly guilty about it until he replied “I wouldn’t blame you after seeing such a figure of mine. I hear that compliment all the time”. I looked up to him in confusion and hoped he got the signal. I expected him to be embarrassed after my expression but he decided to continue. “Better start kneeling and praying!” he sang playfully and lifted one of his fingers to point at each side.

It was lame but I got the gist of it. I stared in pure disgust and rolled my eyes after seeing him tilt his head, suggesting something. Acting as if I could shrug it off, I raised my hand and waved it against the air despite my hidden blush. No one dared to hit me up, so I did sense my legs weakening but balled fists who is tempted to give that smug look an uppercut. “Cut to the chase.” 

His eyes seemed to widen but narrowed soon after. He was listening and interested, that if my interpretation was right. He started to cross his arms and nodded as a signal to let me continue what I’m trying to say.

I was enveloped with embarrassment rather than this shameless guy. I gulped and pointed at him to which he responded with a sound that indicates a question. “You know me”, I bravely stated.

We stared at each other for minutes and each second makes me consider running or hoping I would be swallowed by the ground this instant. After the eyeing, he cracked up and held his stomach. “I know you?” Tears were forming in his eyes due to his uncontrollable laughter. I wanted to dissolve at the exact moment he calmed down but he cackled after because it makes my idea appear insane. But I mean, yes, it did sound like I was mental but why did he make it look like he knows me then? Why did he smile as if he wanted to start a conversation?

“Your eyes say so” I shot in another response and thankfully, he decided to settle down. The volume of his laughs was gradually decreasing so I had the opportunity to get over the shame I’ve felt. But this guy was up to no good.

He started to move towards me and I was crept out, stepping back slowly. He looked serious and stern, I was left shocked by his new demeanor. I bit my lip as I try to stand still and act unbothered due to our closeness. Our chests were pressed together and he bent down to my eye level. Nearer and nearer, he reached for my ear. “That’s love at first sight, darling”

And that was my limit. I kneed a stranger in between his thighs, really hard. 

He let out a yell and bent down due to the unmanageable pain he felt. I backed down a bit and showed my palms. Great, now I am seen as more than crazy. I claimed that he knew me when I can’t even remember his name and physically hurt him. 

“What the hell was that for?!” he exclaimed and by the look of it, I knew he was asking for the reason when he didn’t assault me or made any of my body parts bleed. Instincts wouldn’t be the right reason for that question as well, it seemed to be more of an excuse. 

“Well I just thought-” 

“For heaven’s sake! I may be a flirt, but I don’t take advantage of people. How daring of you to judge that fast” He scoffed and was certainly offended over the matter considering how he emphasized the word ‘that’. I was out of appropriate words that I could freely share. I wasn’t fond of guys much especially when they go near me. Let’s say it was an impulse. 

There may be something more to it, precisely why he had thought that way but I didn’t want to dig deeper about it and act more all-knowing than I already am. I pissed off a stranger’s ego, causing him to leave and walk away.

“Um...Hey!” I desperately tried to catch up to him because maybe, just maybe, did I actually feel a bit bad about it. It’s odd with the high pride that makes me never back down from something even I knew was wrong, to admit and feel guilty. I bit my lip and inhaled deeply as I hoped he would turn around and hear me out. I wanted to shout his name aloud and catch his attention but I recalled I didn’t get to know his name. He called me young miss,  so unintentionally, I did the same in a gender that matches his. “M-mister!” 

Watching from behind, he places his camera inside his side bag and inserts both of his hands on the pocket after wearing his earphones. Acting like he didn’t hear anyone, he walked away in a chill posture. 

My heels were clicking and red marks were all over my ankles. Crouching down as I leaned my weight on hands that were on top of my knees, I tried to catch my breath. I have frequent anger issues so instead of feeling sorry, I felt more annoyed than him. The man in a tux was stubborn and straight out ill-mannered with his impolite, vulgar words which show discourteous actions. I wasn’t judging, he had the personality of doing immoral things based on his dirty jokes. In short, he was angry for being who he actually was.

“Ugh whatever, who cares? It’s not like I’ll see him again” And with that, I rode a cab back to my apartment and decided to leave all my worries aside.

{MONDAY}

Disastrous. I believe that is what’s going to happen after a few more hours. If anyone of you is wondering what happened last night, let me elaborate. 

After riding a cab home in the afternoon, it all started with my other internet friend, Lia. She is sweet and looked innocent but is very outgoing at times. We knew each other on discord by secretly stanning this billboard hit group, Stray Kids and so we decided to meet up. I thought it was a bad idea because it felt like things would go wrong especially when my mom told me not to trust anyone on the internet. Turned out, we had so much fun.

Now back to the story, Lia called me out of the blue and it was the last thing I needed after meeting with ‘mister’. I didn’t want to turn her down though, so I answered. I should’ve known that she would put me in a blind date as usual. I almost had forgotten about that after several months of not seeing her. She insisted I go just for the reason of having her boyfriend by herself. That was when I realized it was her partner’s closest friend. If any, I should be scared because if it doesn’t work out well, or maybe once my mood swings struck again, it would affect their relationship. 

So here I am on a plain cafè I randomly picked out because he seemed uninterested. It had been 3 hours and observing the place, it doesn’t look like he is present nor on his way. Will he ditch me? maybe? probably? very? hell yes. 

The universe is absolutely trying its best to let it seep into my mind that no one would love or find me attractive. Amongst all my 35 dates this year, everyone had my hopes up but leaves me in the dust soon after. It’s not that I expected him to date me because I’m used to getting turned down all the time, I thought he would’ve at least showed up. 

4 hours passed by and it’s obvious he won’t be arriving. The moment I stood up to leave, I saw a familiar guy in sight; the man in tux. At least, he isn’t a stranger anymore but I wasn’t eager to see him. In fact, I never wanted him in my way or my vision. I had this bad image when it comes to him and it’s enough to make me cover myself up by turning around. There’s no use though, his eyes were quick to catch mines. I could hear footsteps coming and it’s making me lose myself. My head was in the opposite direction in which he couldn’t see me and I closed my eyes strongly, hoping a miracle would happen. 

step. ‘Oh no, what am I going to say when he arrives?’

step. ‘goodness gracious. God pick me up’

step. ‘Isn’t he going to stop?’

step. ‘Damn, I’d rather be spending my whole life with those 3 mean girls than seeing him’

step. ‘send me back to hell, he’s getting close’

step. ‘and closer’

step. ‘I could hear his breath but please don’t say anything

step. ‘Not a word stranger, please’

“Hey?” 

“Asshole”

My eyes widened in surprise due to my unintended murmur and I quickly turned around to face him. He put on the same reaction I had. Panicking, I covered up my mouth with my shaky hands. “I am- oh my god.... I’m so sorry” I ran my hands through my face aggressively and exhaled sharply. “i-it just came out” my voice was low enough to be heard as I wallowed myself up in mortification. 

I then listened to the sound of the chair squeaking a bit, being dragged for the man to sit down. He sat in front of me and was willing to talk about things. Incredible, how more magnificent could my day be after being turned down and the guy who knew about it thought of me as someone crazy. “I’m hopelessly horrid, aren’t I?” I refused to look until I heard him let out the cutest laugh I’ve ever heard. 

“still can’t get over yesterday?” he asked while placing his hand to let his head rest on it. I slowly lifted my head and gave another sigh that made him respond in a chuckle. Tugging my hair and looking at him with apologetic eyes, I do hope he understood I’m sincere about this.

“it’s just- I misunderstood things and offended you.... I am uncomfortable with guys plus something just happened that day that- yea...” I couldn’t sort out everything I wanted to say so I shifted my eyes to the side. Realizing I was close to crying in remorse and chagrin, I sniffed. After all, even though I looked like someone who seemed immature and doesn’t give a crap about everyone else, I was still a sensitive woman who just lost people and doesn’t want to make herself look more rotten and depressing than she already is. I needed friends but now that I have this ‘judgmental’ impression from the man, how can I have more people I could rely on? It’s also not him I’m in deep concern of, but other strangers who thought of me the same way he did. What if I was unintentionally rude to some? Dear me, I’m such a mess.

He must’ve noticed the teeny drops in my eyes that soon overflowed as I lifted my head, demanding the discreet tears to fall back in its cage. But it was to no use; he solved my puzzle way faster than anyone else who tried to have a gist of my life. It was a bittersweet feeling that arose my mind and touched my heart. Finally needing no words spoken, he knew what was lying behind the facade I was trying to pull dreadfully to save the only thing I have with me, my pride. Simultaneously, I loathe the idea of having a stranger identify my agony rather than those I trust which makes me come across conclusions that I was an open book or my friend was just gullible. I neither liked any of the conclusions stated so my mind ran off to hating him. 

“Must’ve been hard...” Inhaling torment and breathing out pity, he thought of words that could ease my ache. I didn’t need his comfort charity but if I were somebody else who’d stare at me, the same thought comes up and I despised it. From the bottom of my heart, I meant every word I said. This is why I don’t open up discussions regarding my life, it makes everyone look down on me “Luckily, I’m still here. I’m quite the social butterfly and we fit don’t you think?” a subtle pout showed up in his lips but the right corner rose, making it look like a kittenish smile. I was not surprised though if we talk about this man, he’s always the ‘playful’ type. Taking his words literally, I interrupted.

“Because you’re the open type who have many friends but I was the unfortunate lonely lass? Opposite attract. Yeah right, such great chemistry” Bitterly, I spat those words like poison and rolled my eyes. Crossing my arms and huffed, ‘an indirect jerk’ I thought.

His hands shook in the air and his eyes started to panic to refuse my statement. He did think of it but I do know it was unintentional. Still, it just meant he pitied me a few minutes ago. “N-no! Of course not!” He tried to explain.

Even I can’t decipher my complicated moods but him trying his best to clarify for the whole 20 minutes quite had an effect on me. Chuckling in a low volume in which he instantly noted, I still bothered to hide my smile by placing my palm to cover my lips. His face turned smug and teasing, and I knew what he meant so I rolled my eyes and denied it by shaking my head but now in a humorous intention.

“You laughed” His eyes grew wide, making me resist those dark brown eyes. It made me lost in track for a moment but good for me, he wasn’t quick enough to notice that. It wasn’t a lie after all when he said he received such compliments of him being so heavenly; I was indeed in heaven after having a glimpse of him.

Before I could further analyze anything and start being creepy, I coughed to distract myself and responded to him lazily. “What? Don’t people laugh?”

He raised his hand just enough for the waiter to see and proceed heading to our table. I’ve thought of denying his offer but since he had already called on, it was fine anyway. What’s the worse that could happen?

“one iced americano” he didn’t even take time to read the menu and passed it on to me. Noticing my look in confusion, he asked as if I was judging him again “What?”

“Really?” My tone dropped and sarcastically asked. “just an espresso please. Thank you” quickly scanning over the menu and told the the waiter my order, the man went back and did his job. I faced back to the guy in a tux and my expression changed as fast.  “An iced americano after it’s literally freezing outside?” His shoulders rose up and down to shrug but I could only chuckle in his mere response.

“Excuse me? I like Americano! chowa chowa~” We both sang in unison, cringing, though his eyes went larger as mine grew narrow because of the grin plastered on my face. 

“Wah! That was scary, how did you know that?”  that hit me in an effect different from what I wanted but honestly, the mood was a bit lighter than my experience in the past. 

“Someone never failed to tell me that every day” with a sigh, I placed my head at the top my palm and smiled to myself. Oh, how I missed to hear those words again. 

“May I know who?” He seemed enthusiastic considering the way he scooted closer comfortably. I knew I couldn’t get away with this kind of curiosity because he didn’t flinch a little when I gave him that oh-how-nosy-of-you look as if he stepped within the boundaries.

“I don’t know. I just know I talked to that someone.” 

Confusion filled the loudest silence and I wondered what was wrong with what I said. Pretty sure some people don’t know all the details in their life right? Is it needed to learn this kind of information? He froze with mouth agape and I blinked, hoping he’d get back to his senses. It scared me as I looked back to everything that happened. I felt guilty, what for?

“Are you dumb?” he deadpanned looked at me and thought as if that was the lamest joke he had ever heard. Unfortunately, everything was real. I mirrored his emotions causing him to stutter all over.  “I- what? Are you naive or were your memories taken away?!” He gasped so dramatically, not that I expected him not to. 

“Idiot, if my memories were taken away, I would’ve known.” I lift my upper lip and stared at him in disbelief. 

He cackled in response with his usual endearing laugh. “How would you know then if your memories were taken away?” Mimicking a cry, he can’t still hold his laughter back. Much more after I froze and let out a small ‘oh’ in realization. It gradually faded off and he flicked my forehead. “Idiot” he retorted my smug reply a while ago which made me scrunch my nose whilst leaving a playful pout, screaming the words ‘unfair’. “Cute” he mumbled lowly after seeing my face and it did made me look away for him not to notice the blush. He did though, my ears were beet red so he beamed a smile that I was only able to see in my peripheral vision. I didn’t take a peek of his whole look but I know I couldn’t resist to THAT.

As if the timing was perfect, the waiter came in with our little drinks that he decided to pay. We had quarrel over the payment that went on for almost 5 minutes. The waiter watched awkwardly and ended up receiving his instead of mines. While drinking each of our drinks, he opened up the conversation first.

“It’s unusual for you to” I placed my cup after his abrupt statement and tilted my head, asking him to go on.

“to what?”

“Well you know...” contemplating about his thoughts, he tried to sip on my drink to which I swatted away his hand. I raised my eyebrow in a bubbly manner and told him to quit around playing. “you smiling, it’s rare to see so” he brushed his hand dramatically as if he felt immense pain and replied.

“You don’t even know me?” I chortled at my comeback, twisting his words right back at him. The atmosphere was still friendly but the mood? Suddenly shifted into something serious I surrendered myself in the control I was striving to put up.

“I do know you”

I know it was meant as a joke but I’d like to believe half of it was directly true. Those eyes that pierced right through me once again had some sense of familiarity and belongingness. It’s as if I fled away from reality because everything was turning their backs on me, but he felt like home. It’s as if everything turned monotone but he was my only hope. It’s as if I used to ignore everyone but something makes me cling unto him. It’s as if I knew him but at the same time, I don’t. Was my misery too loud that it reached the heavens and pushed me into insanity? Or was he indeed someone I met? The presence reached through me even when he’s just staring. If I was asked just by the feeling of his existence, I know him, a hundred percent with no doubts. But in general? His physique and he in a tux were something new that made me convince myself he was a total stranger. Still, the thought itself isn’t as easy to shrug as it seemed. I would recklessly gaze into those eyes forever without knowing why. 

“There you are again” Clicking my tongue, I began to bounce back to earth. I tapped my fingers to a fast and mischievous rhythm to make it seem I was angry. He laid on his back, pressing on the chair to be in a comfortable position which I found creepily attractive. “Those eyes!” I pointed my fingers at his deep gaze that turned into a startled expression. ‘He thinks I’m a joke’, I thought. It wasn’t enough to get me riled up on my nerves though because if I was in his position, who wouldn’t think I was lowkey a bad flirt?

“So what should I do to stop your gawking? Close my eyes?”

“Much better” Favorably, this man doesn’t seem as bad as I thought he would be. He knows how to take a joke and accepts every word I say, whether it may be surprisingly good or blatantly messed up. Maybe we did just meet at the wrong step of the time. 

{TUESDAY}

“So how did the date go?” I groaned just after hearing my thousandth time being dumped, probably. 

Lia had the courage to call me and talk about it.  I’m sure she was hoping my ’supposed to be date’ at least liked me, which was so opposite, and in no terms do I want to see him again. We were too relaxed with Lia so everything I say, even though I tend to be mean, she knew it was a flaw in my personality that couldn’t be fixed. In fact, she was kind of fascinated with how I looked so innocent and honorable but has a hidden persona of aggressiveness behind the public. 

“Bloody hell, may the paradise sue me for what I will do shortly. Some witch needs an update.” I breathily recited my ‘chant’ to which she laughed so loud it could burst my ears and wake up my neighbors. I wasn’t on speaker, what would happen if I did?

“such a virago, bae!” I could just imagine her fanning her hands behind the phone with a teasing smile, mixed with nervousness. I heard her boyfriend’s voice along with Tienne, her partner’s younger sister. She was my favorite one so I decided to force her in turning on the video call.

As soon as she did, the young cute girl’s face lit up on my screen and I almost yell out a squeal. Lia knew damn well I love Tienne which is why she’d let her kid handle it.

“I missed you!” The 7-year-old fake cried which caused me to forget about my bad day and chuckle. She was playing with her usual favorite t-rex and a barbie, saying how barbie made the dinosaurs extinct using her big dream house car that brought pollution. This was so random and I honestly don’t know where she got such ideas. The most disturbing one so far was how she stated that dora was such a pick me and who acted blind because it was quirky. Kids weren’t supposed to know that, right?

“I missed you too, baby Tintin!” She isn’t a baby and in fact hates it when people calls her young, except for me though. I’m her favorite because I’m always with her when her so called parents are trying to have a date. Not that I would complain, I enjoy being with this lass.

The boyfriend arrived with an Oreo in hand as he waved after seeing me.

“Hey, hey shortcake. Long time no see!” He was in his usual long brown coat paired with a white polo, rolled-up sleeves and brown loose pants. Taking off the glasses he wore, he approached Tienne and smiled through the screen.

“Looks like the giant is dressed-up. How big of an effect Lia had on you for you to bother wearing such ‘boyfriend’ material outfit?” I rolled my eyes and he laughed once again, remembering high school days where I used to force him to wear decent clothings that doesn’t make him look like a rebel.

He groaned while smiling, partially tired at the fact that he had repeated the words that’ll come out of his mouth over several months. “Big time. I really love that woman” His eyes showed sincerities despite the joke I just gave. This blue haired guy does seriously love her.

I bitterly smiled and my hands twitched a bit after seeing such view. Of course he was my long time best friend, he knows what I’m feeling. Not missing an opportunity, he looked back at the screen and raised an eyebrow. “Jealous, aren’t we?” 

At that very moment, I did want to punch him through the screen. “Well at least tell your friend to show up before rejecting a girl he hasn’t seen yet” The boy seemed so amused in response that tears were coming out due to his uncontrollable laughter. 

“I showed him a picture of you before the blind date” and oh, was that my final straw of the day. He didn’t want to miss the expression so despite the hard laughs, he tried to take a peek at my reaction.

I was as red as a tomato, boiling. “Frick you! Rot in hell, you titan!” I slammed the table and hissed a bit due to the pain felt but I pouted to show how stressed I was.

“But you look pretty! Are you always going to believe on those ideas of yours?” The laughs were nothing closer to dying down. At that moment, he seemed as if he was close to bursting. “And you know what he said?” Placing his head atop his hand that was resting on his table, he asked me directly. Of course I knew the answer.

“Oh, she’s kinda not my type.” We sang in unison as if we shared the same braincell. The only difference was the aftertaste. He laughed harder, while my frown gets lower. 

“What a great day to ruin my date, boy. Got ‘ya self a lover and decided to ditch me whilst betrayin’ behind my back”. I slightly fell back on my seat comfortably and stared at the ceiling.

His laugh drowned after a few minutes and he spoke with a hint of seriousness “you look pretty smiling, I’ve always told you that shortcake.”

My eyes widened a bit with the sudden confession and looked through the screen, in which I saw no figure anymore. One of my eyebrow raised and my smile grew softer. He still do care about me. After all, I was like his little sister. The thought of it made me feel secured and contented.

Well not until I heard a few kisses through the call. “Oh dear gracious, not in front of a declined girl!”, I responded to which they could just let out a few laughs at my remark. And yes just like siblings, they are so fond of my misfortune.

“What took you so long, though?” I could tell that Lia waited for hours just to ask me a question she pondered on for so long. I knew what she meant but asked once again to ensure we got the same idea.

I hummed in question and saw her figure approaching the camera. “That rejected date of yours. What made you sit for several hours until late at night and arrive smiling?” Her man echoed the last words she had spoken like a broken record. He eyed me curiously and waited for me to speak up. Guess I have no choice when two of those orbs stare at me like hawks that are ever ready to bite when denied. I guess I can’t escape.

I tilted my head and accidentally leaked out my inner thoughts “Weird, I thought our talk only lasted for a few minutes” It was a moment before realization dawned unto me. They were as fast as how wind blows though, they caught unto it.

Lia clicked his tongue and smiled as the giant all-knowingly prolonged his words to make it seem like he got the idea. 

“It’s not what y’all think” I rolled my eyes and cleared the obvious suspicion their aura is channeling over to my house that is several miles away. 

“We didn’t say anything though”, Lia’s boy narrowed his eyes and looked at the mentioned girl who quickly agreed on his statement. “Unless, you thought of something”, he continued and emphasized the last word. A tiny glint of his eyes contrasted with his omniscient smirk that glowed on my screen.

I stared for a few seconds trying to find an excuse, but I was caught on the act. “Oh come on! Everybody thinks” I turned my back around and yielded in the tight battle.

“There ye go again, beatin’ ‘round the bush lady!” He sang as he and Lia both left the frame, leaving me and little Tienne alone.

I shook my head in disapproval however my thoughts were fixated unto Lia’s comment. ‘I smiled while arriving’, my heart beat rose quickly for a second and blamed it on my anemia. But then again, if I may have had quite the fun yesterday, maybe mister wasn’t so bad after all.

Forgetting I was still on the line, baby Tienne responded, “Are you in love?”

Instead of denying the question quickly, I decided to ask her as to stir my interest. “And what made you think that way?” My voice slightly raised its pitch as I was talking and trying my best to make a 7 year old kid understand how love even works; despite me not knowing anything about that at all. 

“That look, my brother looks at Lia that way. Your smile” she grinned sheepishly, looking more adorable than she already is. I was distracted by her gleaming eyes until I processed what she had just said. 

Grabbing a mirror, the papers on my desk flew and some fell down but all I could see was my replica staring like a red ball, making me look like someone who blew a balloon really hard. “Oh gosh, I look like exploding” my arm covered the prominent red blush that spread all over my face. 

Tienne giggled and remarked: “you’re weird”

{WEDNESDAY}

I hated snows, much especially on first snows. Ask me for the reasons? Not a good idea. I could only reply with a ‘maybe I was rejected after a couple of supposedly romantic confessions during snow’ or a ‘maybe because I was still currently refused by a guy the moment the first snowflakes fell.’ I stared at the empty park and sighed much more heavily compared to the past.

I opened my note and jotted down a single word: snow. The lingering feeling of coldness touching my skin as I try my best to stay warm reminds me of my past days, trying to desperately breathe in a situation I can’t change. The heavy feeling that grows as light as how its flakes fall. Elegantly in slow motion, if I must describe. Yet it’s temperature is affecting me in a way it doesn’t intend to. Generally, me and snows are simply incompatible. Maybe fate doesn’t follow. 

I stepped back and felt my foot sink deeper into the pile of white cotton. It sucked my leg mesmerizingly but I got back on track as soon as I heard a sound behind me. I placed my guard up and spun around cautiously just to see a playful smile in front of my eyes. I flinched once in surprise, gasped in shocked, and blinked in disbelief. 

“Again?!” My brain was unable to process the flow of events as my fingers pointed to the same mister that was in my head for the past few days. 

“Ah, fate’s dirty works” his shoulders rose as he chuckled and stared at the enchanting view that sat in front of us. Grabbing his camera, he clicked on the button and took a look at his shot. Tilting it sideways, I could only hold on my scarf to avoid slipping into his eyes and focus on the thing he had shown me. After a little peek of a masterpiece, I smiled before replying.

“Again with you and your photographs.”

“I love my shots, this way I could never forget about how such beauty gleams on moonlight or even the sunshine rays. I’m a bit picky, so I believe everything that is stored here is a work of art” He thought deeply and held his camera tighter with deep passion, as if embracing it to heart.

“So each shot you take also depends on your preference?” He handed me the camera and for the first time in the day, we made eye contact. I quickly diverted my gaze on the pictures and swipe through them as he explained.

“I only remember those I love,” past I scrolled on a girl looking more likely to be in her mid 30s. Same smile he wore and same eyes they glowed, I could presumably say it’s her sister with no doubt. “Those I admire,” the next that came in the talk was a bunch of his idols. Some I knew, some I don’t. “And those I’m most interested in” ‘Hobbies’, my inner tone speaking out appeared excited than expected. 

And yet, I was met with a picture of a girl on a white loose dress under the shimmering night sky. Her expression wincing - could also be taken as squinting - I wasn’t too sure what prompted her to have so. May it be the sudden fright she must have had felt, the new feeling rushing down her veins, or simply the strong light of the camera that could’ve blinded her eyes. She was a reflection of me, simply me, during the day we first met. Under the streetlight, the moment he and I closed our distance and stared at the other. The only moment I was able to get sidetracked away from my depressive and monotone months. Maybe there was light, not from the camera nor the streetlight, but from him.

My head unconsciously tilted upwards as to clear what he was trying to say.

“Y/n, I want to know more about you.”

Those few minutes staring unto his eyes, were sucking me like hours. Absorbed and indulged, this scene was deeply imprinted on my mind when I don’t want it to. ‘You can’t be interested in people you had just met, much especially when you know it’s more than curiosity’, this rained on Korea within my mind’s void. Though repeated like a desperate prayer, my mind forgets to remind me that he was bad idea. One word of his, I pause. One step of his, my world stops. One look of his, it continues spinning once again, but now with the thought of progressing the years along with him. Just like how my mind swiftly swings, I feel the sense of slow motion every time he comes but fast forwarded whenever I think about myself, both of us. Fast forward, wherein I’d be holding his hand. Fast forward in time wherein he’d caress me with affection along with those deep brown eyes. 

Fidgeting my fingers, I loosened one arm and placed it on my side near him. His eyes trailed unto my now lowered head that still continued staring on the pictures. I gulped and hesitated as I slowly gave him back the camera while avoiding eye contact. “I hate snow”, a mumble was all I could utter. Hoping I was hidden on the red scarf, my mind was lost in thoughts once again.

Winter, I always feel something around this time of the year. For no reason, a forlorn’s heart is wretched deep in the grave. In ordinarily suffocating, a burdened body carrying her soul. Inexplicably hopeless,  determined - if I must sugarcoat the word - to the point that I am so good at making things out of nothing. 

Instead of bewilderment passing through his eyes, he looked up and agreed. “Yeah”, breathily he spoke. He knew what was going on my mind once again. Was I enchanted in seeing him or was I enchanted just because he was like a reflection I didn’t need to open up to for him to understand?

Nonetheless, I could feel him softly smiling beside me as he took notice of my hand creeping up on his jacket, holding unto it discreetly. He knew I still wanted him to stay, despite the contrasting effect I placed on my words and the actions of pushing him away. 

A few minutes then, he stood and I opened my eyes to face him. Slight surprise was evident in my face, much more after he held out his hand. “Let’s go.”

“Where to?” I stuttered along my words. With the same smile, he declared his statement like a promise;

“Let’s go make snowy days your favorite time of the year.”

“Hey,” he spoke casually but prolonged his words just enough to make me wonder why he had that tone as he spoke. Looking almost immediately, he replied and looked into my eyes with a contemplating face, “do you believe in love at first sight?”

My eyes slightly widened and he smiled as he noticed the surprised look on my face. After all, I thought my insanity was way too one sided. “So you felt it”, My lips turned downward as my eyebrows went upward, showing an expression of shrugging the thought away, despite internally taking it to heart. 

He slowed down the car on a red light and adjusted himself on his seat. “Well, not exactly.” He spoke in a sing-song tone before continuing as to not leave me hanging on his thoughts. “Mine was love at first sight, yours is the idea of soulmates”

I cracked a laugh absentmindedly as he tried to remember which part of his statement deserved a slight mockery. “I did feel like I know you, but never did the thought of being connected to one another, or at least whatever anyone calls that, came into my mind” I looked away from his deep eyes staring into me and signaled him to start the car as the streetlight showed the color green. A part of me was also hoping it would act as a diversion to stop the unnecessary talk.

Being the bubble gum he was, he was a traditional man who took ‘get to know a woman first’ way too literally, maybe even too much. “So you don’t believe in that concept?” He thought to himself, but curiosity made him want a response from me. I could object to his actions quickly, but his assumptions were right. 

“Correction mister, it does not exist.”, I confidently spoke

“And what in the world made you dreadfully oppose to this view?”, he retorted

Another assumption, but he was right and I couldn’t bring myself to talk back again. I pointed my finger at the switches and complicated buttons I’ve seen on his side, to express that I wanted to lower the window. He simply pressed on the mentioned, particularly to my liking. Weird, I thought he’d only lower it a little. 

I leaned my head outside and closed my eyes to take a moment before finally responding after a sigh. “People come and go. None are perfectly suited for each other, if that’s how its definition goes.”

He tilted his head, not in agreement but also not against my thoughts. Therefore, I took it as a moment to continue my explanation. “A soulmate is simply a word people perceive just for reassurance. If one’s single, then his or her so called soulmate will appear soon in the perfect time. That’s what they all say, but it simply is thought just to avoid the fear of being alone, disappointment and other negative aspects that they think could possibly affect their quality of life. But if they’re taken then broke up, just like how typical couples are fated to die down, they’d also call the same plea for self-encouragement that a perfect man would miraculously appear in their life like some hero in a romance drama.” I rolled my eyes and shook my head in disapproval as I continued speaking in disgust, “it’s sick.”

I could feel him staring straight at me so I did as well to see what he could reply after my utterance. His expression agape, leaving him speechless when I knew he initially had a speech prepared. The sudden silence made me tense up quicker than I thought, so I cleared my throat to bring him back to earth. “What?” I cursed myself mentally for breaking the eye contact first, but thank the heavens it saved my life. “Mister!”

My voice successfully knocked some sense out of him as his eyes trailed to where my eyes were directed at. His expression turned into something beyond panic and surprise, as he quickly pulled the brakes at a red light.

Our bodies bounced back like fishes off sea and I could feel my heartbeat racing faster than when I had first met him. This is when I knew it was a really strong feeling. “Are you planning to kill me?!” I exasperatedly threw my hands in the air.

He could only chuckle after a moment of calming the adrenaline rush we’ve felt and finally eased up before explaining himself, which was very unnecessary given the situation we’re in.

“Gosh, you are breathtaking” he bit his tongue as he grinned playfully. He’s really joking at a time like this? Now, I was the one who had my jaw dropped, not because of confusion but due to incredulity. Blinking twice to see if he wanted to retract his words, it was of no use. “It made me almost ran the red.” 

“No, but really, that rap performance you gave a while ago seemed too personal.”, he thought and rapidly changed the topic.

“If personal, why pry?” I spoke in a deadpan tone because even if my heart rate had calmed down, my brain wasn’t able to process what had happened if I had not looked down the road. “Besides, there is no such thing as soulmates. It’s just a bunch of coincidences to keep the hopes of people up. They are blatantly yet stupidly and unknowingly lying to themselves.”

“Well, I beg to disagree, young missy.” His arms leaned unto the wheel and he slightly intertwined his fingers to properly refute my baseless explanations. “Soulmates are real, just like you and I.” His ego rose as I groaned in annoyance. I actually adjusted myself to hear his opinion, just to take a false assumption from him. He chuckled and nudged me as a sign that he’ll finally be proper for once. Well, thankfully he did. 

“All jokes aside, there are people that are meant to be for each other. No matter how life brings them down, fate would still tie them together with no escape.”

“See how the world toys with people?”, I bitterly questioned.

“Yes, but I find that very interesting when it comes to the idea of soulmates. The way it makes people feel like the person they’d end up with is the only right one after all the wrongs they’ve seen before. That’s what makes it special. There’s no “toying” present; it’s simply fate.”, he spoke lightly as if whispering while showing his eye-smile.

“That’s too dramatic and vague by the way”, I casually critiqued

“Vague.” He looked up for a while after echoing my words and thought, “maybe it’s because second chances are part of my beliefs. With no factual explanations based on science, It seemed like it’s one with me.”

“Directly, you’re trying to say you just believe in it. That’s it.” I tried to help him get out with this ‘beating around the bush’ behavior I dislike.

“Maybe or maybe not.”, I rolled my eyes again in response. “The world is more than what we see. And in this world, we may have not known that there are people destined to be with others and encountered them in their past lives. Maybe some kind of resurrection built by deep affection, if I must say. A second chance brought by fate, a second chance that was persuaded to arrive because of how intense the relationship or bond is. I believe in those. With equal yearning felt by each other, nothing is impossible, y’know?”

He looked very lost in his words and I didn’t know when to interrupt. As if by ‘fate’, he finally paused for a moment to look at me. Except, I didn’t know what to respond to his sayings. Both of our ideas aren’t even scientifically proven or factual, they are just metaphorical statements that aren’t needed to be spoken because none of these could change anything at all. People couldn’t see and hear, nor would the heavens comply with our contrasting requests. Yet, the desperate aggression we know we’ve felt despite our calming and frisky voices, was quite personal. Why were we so eager to insist our perspectives? His eye smile almost made me forget how quickly he’d react whenever I spoke my side and how his eyebrows would furrow in seemingly disappointment because I don’t get his.

Confrontation wasn’t my side though, so I played along with his ‘dodging’ game. “The concepts of soulmates doesn’t only revolve in second chances though, that example was oddly specific”, I chuckled to not appear crystal clear.

Instead of a quick response or interruption like he’d usually do, he instead paused again before letting out a hesitant titter. My eyes scanned through his face and saw him gulped, which unconsciously made me feel awkward as well because of how uncomfortable he seemed in a second. “I mean- A situation, I guess. Just to expand and make it a whole lot clearer. Yeah.” The volume of his voice gradually decreased as I echoed his last word. Now, it was my time to clear my throat. 

Acting as if I was admiring the scenery during the car ride, he halted after a few minutes. We ended up on a little street and I was caught off guard when he opened my side of the car door. It must’ve meant we already had reached our destination. Why is he taking me here? Still, there’s something that always keeps me hanging unto him. Maybe he wasn’t the only one stricken by curiosity. 

He beckoned me to enter and I trailed behind his back. There, we entered a peaceful and little home with red dreamcatchers on the right side of the interior wall. What caught my eye though was the piled books in the shelves with a man’s name on it, in which I assumed belonged to his. I never knew he was the type to easily get immersed with books; talk about a perfect guy. Unfortunate was I to say that even if he had courted me, we were characters predestined on an asymmetrical time flow. 

As soon as I entered the house, I could still feel the cold air from outside. It was as if it had been long since someone visited here because the air warmers seemed broken. Don’t get me wrong though, the surroundings was clean - way too clean for my liking, way too clean to be true. This flawless orderliness would only be possible if one had come here to sweep every minute as there is an absence of even a speck of dust. But then again, it was cold.

 I approached the stair rail beside me and hung my red scarf before proceeding to the living room. “Coffee or tea?” The mister asked while facing towards the kitchen. 

“Do you have juice?” Both of my eyebrows rose and my mind hesitated whether that was an appropriate thing to ask. Hoping it did not make me look demanding, I waited for his reply.

“Sure”, he timidly spoke and gave me a smile once again. However, I noticed his shilly-shally to leave me out of his sight.

 “I’m fine”, I chuckled as he also replied with one. I was mistaken though, as he still seemed to ask me something on his mind but decided to bite his tongue for it may look weird. Delaying his steps, his words trailed slowly as the volume gradually decreased. “Where..?”

“Maybe in the upper cabinet beside the refrigerator”, I tittered at the thought of him not knowing where the powdered juice in his home is. 

A hint of surprise following mines gave me reassurance that I was right. I decided to scroll my eyes along the album that was almost unnoticeably placed under the table with only a page hanging off in the corner of my sight. It was normally something others would undoubtedly ignore but everything about him struck my curiosity; even if it’s merely something related to him. Without hesitation, I took a closer look at it and unintentionally had it up in my lap as I scanned the pictures. 

There, a little kid around 4 or 6 years old is sitting in a twin-sized bed along with a beautiful lady who had her arm wrapped around his son’s shoulder. The ring on my hand touched the picture’s texture as I brought out the photo from the memory book to determine the uncanny sight. In one look, it resembled a family in the mid 1990s that would make one sense jealousy in themselves because this published a dream almost none could reach. Happy and rich, full of excitement. However, blink and take a second look, one could notice the indifference present in the face of the little boy. The charisma the mother exhibited overpowered the kid to paint a happy picture that would please everyone’s eyes. But the latter’s smile was way crooked, showing uneven proportions that should’ve been aligned with his eye. The brown orbs that looked ever beautiful was isolated from the look he wanted others to perceive. It was metaphorically flat and literally dull. Though if the smile was only looked solely, it seemed as if he was in a manic state. 

My head started to lean near the picture slowly to view the sight that gradually became horrid. The traumatizing scene could easily influence such an apparently unfaltering mood. If invisible blood from the ones you were forced to kill spilled out from those guilty, innocent, and pitiful eyes, appeared as a picture; no doubt it would be this.

“That’s me when I was 6, year 2006 along with mom”, Mister came back with two containers in hand, one’s a teacup, the other’s a tall cup. Hesitation was evident in his last word but I flinched almost too obviously that I knew I was guilty yet persuaded myself that invading a family treasure would be fine without asking for a proper permission because I’m scared of receiving a single ‘no’. I sighed mentally at my idea of being nosy when it comes to other people’s business. Might be a red flag, but what can I do when my life’s too boring for me to get invested at?

However, I couldn’t quite decipher what truly disturbed me in hearing his response; whether it was his thoughts of me suddenly opening a personal object, this guy was the same kid who used to have an awful smile and had glasses on his twin-sized bed, him looking quite uncomfortable talking about his mother, the fact that the pictures were old yet they only had bought a shiny new album recently, the set up was very much around the nineties yet he was born in 2000, or the idea that I had so many ideas when it comes to him because I unusually, and very much weirdly, am so concerned about his life and perceptions about him. Nope, definitely (hopefully) not the last one.

My eyes awkwardly blinked twice and I could feel my cheeks heating up with a slight tint of pink. Clearing my throat before anything could get worse, I chose to give a remark regarding the second to the last question. “Vintage. Your family’s on the traditional side?”

“You could say that”, he spoke while slowly dragging himself near me with a sharp breath. I unconsciously stiffened up for a moment, glad he didn’t noticed it this time. His finger moved through the album and pointed at the little kid with glasses. Following a chuckle, he added “biggest plot twist in my life”

I looked away at the book for a moment to think before I responded with a dramatic gasp, “I feel like I’m looking at two different people”

His eyes met with mine and he laughed so heavenly while clapping his hands. It slowly died down and he shrugged along my disbelief. “I can’t believe that’s me either. Maybe it’s the ‘mom’s effect”

“Mom’s effect?”

He hummed and replied, “the trauma maker”

I bitterly giggled as I could relate to him this time. “Then it’s the dad effect for me” Looking towards him to show I’m ready to listen, I nudged him slightly. “You start, I finish”

“Ah, but the finishing touch is the highlight!”

“Then I appreciate getting the spotlight, mister” I slyly stated while narrowing my eyes, to which he responded with eyes rolled.

“Hwang Hyunjin” 

“Ohh,” I teasingly reacted while showing my empty ring finger “You haven’t told me your story yet and now we’re on a name basis?”

“Yes, a name basis. Not on a first name basis” he slowly pronounced each word to highlight the bitter truth, along while pointing his finger straight at me. He then held my hand and it caused my eyes to slowly land on them just to see him place it back on my side. I couldn’t utter a word or maybe I simply chose to refuse. My jaw was left dropped as he shook his head with playful disappointment before turning his back at me. Talk about having a full army attack you, unarmored.

“You?!” My British accent showed up on the worst timing possible. Though I could say it added a more comedic touch in my skit. I guess living in London for a few years just to avoid a father’s tantrum isn’t so bad after all. “You, of all people, chose to ignore me? Nobody could resist this beauty, I daresay” I stopped after a few tracks after his sudden turn. His face were a few inches away and I was startled for quite a bit. Still, it doesn’t mean that the zoom in wasn’t humorous. He’s still a fine man though, he didn’t waste much of his cool points. 

“Unfortunately darling, I was called a nobody in my family. Does that count?” He questioned to add a risible scene in my play. Oh, he is a whimsical man for sure. It bewilders my mind pretty bit to think that there are people out there that isn’t entertained by him. Either it’s my broken sense of humor or theirs, he’s got something that makes a person very intrigued.

He turned his back once again so I grabbed his hand and now it was I who made him surprised. “You still can’t get away with this.” My smile glimmered but my eyes remained determined “tell me your story,” I whispered.

His smile dropped for a moment but he sat first on the sofa. Patting it twice, I followed him soon after. “I wasn’t this type of person initially”, he spoke to break the silence.

“On the picture or the one I’m facing right now?” My body slightly leaned right to look towards him as I laced both of my hands and placing them atop my lap.

“Which do you prefer?” The tone was so like — well, him but the question may appear serious if taken on a different note. Who’s to say I can’t like both?

“Can I assume you meant you weren’t the type to open up to people?” A smirk was plastered on my face but it can’t stop there. I gave him a teeny wink, which I knew he’d notice immediately given he’s attracted to details. I hope ‘attracted’ was the accurate word, not obsessed. It makes me shudder to think he was made the latter, if ever, because of his own family. 

“Unbelievable, miss. Just-“ he chuckled before continuing “You’re unbelievable” It can be taken in only two perspectives. The first one would be a rude tone and the second could be taken as a compliment. Not only does he have a great sense of humor, but he was mysterious as well. No matter what kind of emotions he’d express, I don’t think anyone ever had the chance to pass through his walls of mind.

“What can I say? According to my father, I am a simpleton. And I agree. I look at things very simple and even when it comes to people! Everyone either likes me or hates me, no in between. And as for our case,” I pointed at him and myself before rapidly switching sides of my finger to show the unity and placed it back on my lap. “I think we’re far enough from hatred”, I simpered.

“You need to stop making yourself special” he sipped from his cup after lifting it up for cheers.

“I am special” I responded to his greetings.

“I dreadfully wish I could deny that” He clicked his tongue after his reply. He muttered the words to himself, I assume, because of its volume. Yet I also do believe it was meant to reach me given the silence afterwards as if he was waiting for me.

“What’s stopping you?” I gave out a short chuckle, somewhat similar to his which made me slightly alarmed. Truly, I am not fond of him, am I?

“The fact that you are”

A swish of the wind passed by as I stopped for a moment, “Oh, a smooth talker you are. I despise you.”

“Well then, here ya go.” He waved his hands towards me, hinting that he got through me for a split second. “You got a past!” He gasped dramatically.

“If you think you can get away from you explaining your past, then you’re wrong. Quit the delay, mister”

“Pressuring me just after you know my name? How fierce. I like that in a girl.” I simply rolled my eyes and let out a groan before he showed a teeny smile and continued.

The car ride took another few 30 minutes going home but I felt like we’ve been going on a loop for several hours. The ride home was eerily silent, a clear contrast compared to the way to his place. And it’s not sadness I’m feeling right now, but pity and confusion. He discussed his past using his mother’s perspective and words, which made him insecure and stopped me from asking how he felt. His mother was in control of him after all; his eyes, his mouth, and his skin acted as if they were reflections of his mother’s view of an epitome of an obedient son.

He warned me that I’d view him differently if I heard his story, that I’d be disgusted and disappointed of how he had the right to live and laugh after he used to be at an awful state with his mother, thinking he never deserved to do so. 

I got off the car after the slight hesitation and bit my lip before I bid goodbye. I felt a slight tinge of pain because I thought his eyes would peer through mine, trying to tone it with an ‘I told you so.’ Except, I never got to meet his eyes at the end of the day, leaving me frozen still as he left without uttering a word.

I sighed and went straight to bed soon after while rethinking everything that had just happened. I never felt disgusted, not one thought of leaving him had run across my mind. In fact, maybe a part of me wanted him to love his self and see the beauty I’m seeing as I wish to view those eyes for eternity. It was until the moment that I have concluded the night; Uh oh, I’m falling in love with Hwang Hyunjin.

{THURSDAY)

I woke up in a messy state. I could hear faint ringing coming from my ears as my head start to hurt a bit. I didn’t know where this slight pain came from but I presumed the reason was because I couldn’t sleep well yesterday. There were mainly two reasons and a suspect. For one, I couldn’t sleep as I thought I had concluded yesterday that I love a guy I recently met. Second, I couldn’t sleep because I debated that these feelings weren’t real and I was simply getting distracted from the darkness that swooped me days ago. I am a smart woman and I know for sure the most stupid thing a person can do is romantically trusting a guy. But all these reasons only have one suspect, and out of all, it had to be Hwang Hyunjin. And oh, how it torments my mind upon realizing I can’t place the words ‘just’ and him on the same sentence. I can’t belittle him at all; he has that face, humor, smile, words, and understanding for me that can’t put me at ease. He makes me so giddy but I feel comfortable in his presence. Really, what is he and what is it he’s making me feel?

As an instinct, I went out and reached for my phone before I was stopped at a sudden thought that he still was a stranger to me. I mentally cursed upon remembering I don’t even have his number yet. All I have is a name and his past that gives me no leads about his whereabouts. ‘Too much for true love, my ass.’ I sighed, rolled my eyes, and shook the negative feeling away. It was nothing, I was sad and heartbroken. It could be thought of as a one-night-stand without all the sexual contact. It’s temporary, just how love should be. Non-draining, non-distracting, and unattached. It’s a way to actually protect one’s heart than laying it out in full vulnerability.

I stood on my feet and took a shower. Just like an innocent party night out, I hoped to clear my mind alone in a cafè as I have not too many friends to go together with.

If I were to earn a dollar for every sigh that escapes my lips, I’d become a millionaire overnight. I gave myself a mental facepalm as I stood in front of the same cafe I once met Hyunjin. It was not to clear my mind but rather to fill my mind with him again. I was teeny hoping he’d be here, assuming it’s his usual spot. But my trail of thought and clear flowery daydreaming was interrupted as I’ve seen frightened eyes shot at me. The staffs inside stared at me in terror and some of the customers oddly peered as if asking for proper verification from the others that they’ve seen right. With gaping mouths and frozen eyes, one of them brazenly marched forward to me. It was an eerie sight that I couldn’t bear to overcome, even when I had the feeling I was overthinking the situations again. I could feel myself shaking that I had to quickly turn around. 

Much to my thanks, someone grabbed ahold of me and took me to a quiet alley with not much of people but had breathtaking scenes. I was about to scream until I saw a familiar face holding his finger up as an act to shush me up. My hands were still practically shaking at the sudden anxiety that stroked me in day and my thoughts raced back and forth until my mind couldn’t keep up with it anymore. The edges of my eyes used to appear soft like the ground’s surface softening in rain until the tears were now brimming my eyes. Gladly, it can be seen as some sort of a splash; strong and speedy. But again, Hyunjin was able to notice such and tried to calm me down. He was almost embracing me with his palms resting atop the knuckles of my closed hands. He didn’t say a word except slow hush sounds as his thumb ran circles that eased my shakiness. I wasn’t even completely enveloped in his arms but it felt so warm because the soft tone of his humming reached through me that it almost felt like he whispered sweet nothings. My eyes were closed shut so I couldn’t see, could barely hear, and yet his presence, merely his presence, was enough to calm me down.

“Hyunjin…” I weakly spoke out and he reassuringly replied,

“I’m here.”

It took me a several minutes before I was able to calm down and when I did, I was aware of his presence. My breath hitched and I started to fix my dress; a hint of awkwardness present within the air.

“So… Were you just about to enter the cafè?” I cleared my throat and asked. It seemed like a casual question but I looked up to him in little hopes before giving a follow-up in a low volume almost he couldn’t hear. “Or did you have other plans?”

Hyunjin was an attentive guy, and I thought he was much more thoughtful on the details that involved me. But he shrugged off the last part because it seemed out of the place without context.  “Yes, it’s my go-to place,” he tried to lighten up the mood when he showed his prince-like smile everyone would swoon over.

My cheeks were heated up with his response. Of course! After all, I did want to enter this cafè because I thought I’d see him. It’s totally understandable it would be left one-sided. I wanted the ground to swallow me up as I thought he was interested in seeing me too. What was wrong with me?

In panic, I hurriedly spoke and gradually stepped back until I wanted him out of my sight “Right, right! I’m so so sorry I interrupted your day. I wanted to enter the cafè too, I mean just because the food taste good and I love the ambience. It’s such a nice place, isn’t it? Totally, I mean, that is solely why you wanted to go here in the first place.. right? Of course, glad our tastes match! I’m really sorry, now you could go on and continue your day because I will now take my leave-“

“And I also wanted to see you”

Oh.

He added and held my wrist with a slightly shocked expression as well that I had to leave immediately. The stiffness of my body then started to soften up as well before I breathed out another sigh and feebly agreed, “I did too.” A few seconds is what it takes to look into each other’s eyes and realize that we’re thinking the same thing. However, he caught me off-guard today. “Come with me, y/n.” Honestly, I hesitated. Does it feel right to entrust myself in the arms of this guy? Does he feel right? Rationality would reject his offer, but my eyes landed on his. It’s those eyes again. It’s what reminds me of how much great of a guy he’s been and how I could imagine myself in his company. Now the question shifts and all I could ask is “How could I say no to that?”

{FRIDAY}

Yesterday was great, too great for my liking. It made me forget how it went very well, made me ignore the fact that the universe punishes beings at the end of the day. I remembered eating strawberry ice creams, a spoon for two. We went watching sunsets in the dock after experiencing a short cruise at night. The last thing I could recall was plopping flat on the sheets as I stared at his wide smile that I realized made his eyes tiny. Such a warming eye-smile. That upwards curve shaped by his pink-tinted lips was the first feature in the moment wherein I looked at anything first before his brown eyes. That’s when I knew he was more than just first impressions. There were greater adventures with him than subtly looking in those eyes. And just as I was about to decide to know him better, he left with no word. I woke up, all alone.

The ringing of the phone brought me back to my senses. I answered the call and I heard Lia on the end of the phone, “I honestly don’t know other ways to tell you the truth y/n, he’s not answering, he will never answer because whoever this is you’re telling me to call, the number is not available. It’s gone, y/n. It’s gone.” My hands tapped furiously at the phone for a short while before I hastily replied and dropped the phone call “It’s not right. Something’s wrong, y-you’re calling the wrong phone number and I know I can’t reach him too on my cell but we were just sleeping together last night.”

Another ring came up but I decided to ignore it. I quickly showered that I did not even remembered if I washed my hair. All I know was that I changed into the clothes I found first on the cabinet and made sure to bring my phone. I strolled through the same streets and places we went while finally calling back Lia. 13 missed calls. My hands gripped tighter on the phone and prayed it was good news. 

“Sleeping together? What just- how did-?” I interrupted her and spoke, “We were so tired after grabbing strawberry ice creams, strolling on the docks, going on a short cruise, that we went to sleep and I could barely remember anything afterwards.” I raised my voice in panic, almost-sounding like I panted. I sighed. And it was silence after silence to recollect my thoughts. In a low volume, I asked “You don’t think something bad happened to him, right?” Lia clicked her tongue in frustration and groaned, “And you are worried about that?! Hell y/n, for all we know, this guy could have left you! He played you, y/n. Why are we being so naive?” 

“He did not, Lia” I emphasized, “You don’t even know this guy”

“And you don’t too! You met him a few days and now you’re head over heels for him. I am not terrified of what’s happening to him, I am scared of you. What is all this about? Aside from the fear of you getting hurt, you are acting almost obsessive with a man you barely met. Get your senses back, this is not you”

“What do you know?” I mumbled and it was enough to make Lia stop rambling. There was more to it than just a question, and she knows.

Her boyfriend sighed and asked a question that somehow ignited a larger fire than before, contrary to his intentions. “We don’t even have cruises that last as short as one night. Hell, is there even one that runs faster than less than a day?”

It was silent again. I could hear Lia pause but it had a different vibe today. I knew, she thought, and he did too. But none of them were right, I met him. I know I did. “This is ridiculous” I scoff, “Are you saying I’m lying?”

“No, we could never! We trust you.. but with everything going on in your life, you know.. You might have not took it well” Lia’s boyfriend carefully chose his words.

However, I insisted. “Or implying I’m hallucinating” And again, it was silent. I shook my head and continued “I don’t know what to say. This is crazy, I can’t. This is just-“ “and this, all of what’s happening, is crazy!” Lia spoke before she was shushed out by her boyfriend again but I dropped the call. 

Why do they always think ahead of me? Back when I independently chose my course, they’d hesitate. When I say I finally found something good for me, they’d doubt. When I feel hurt over comments of other people, they’d laugh. And now they think I’m insane. Well, they might be right; I feel insane because I don’t know what to believe anymore. This guy, one who truly understood me, is nowhere to be found and he could be playing me like what Lia mentioned. I am scared, not because of what could have happened to him but what would happen to me. I am selfish. I feel alone. I’m standing alone. It’s scary.  

I ran back to his place and rang the bell. I could feel sweat trickling down my hands and I feel cold. He would be here, wouldn’t he? Almost a minute later, the door opened. And it was to my delight until I saw an unfamiliar face. The girl looked a few years older than him that it made me sigh. I never knew he was into women older than him. Guess I didn’t know him after all.

She smiled sheepishly along with her pretty features. “Hi, I’m Sana. Sorry I don’t know how these introduction things work. But I just moved here, I doubt a neighbor would immediately want to say hello. Would you?” She extended her arm. I misunderstood her and never was I happy in my life that I was wrong. 

“Oh no, I’m finding a guy in this area. He was in this place.” “Ah! I do remember this was used by a man.” Her voice echoed throughout the hall as she seemed to grab something by the end of the table “The landlady insisted this might belong to its owner. I don’t really mind, but seeing you’re finding him, you might be a good choice.”

The door closed and I held the old phone she handed over. There was still dust on the edges of the screen that I assumed it was used a really long time ago. I unlocked the phone but it had no lock at all. Was this intentionally left behind for me? Curiosity wrapped me up as soon a recording was shown on the screen. I couldn’t wait to hear it so as soon as I rode the bus, I took out my earphones and tapped on the play button.

It was odd. He talked almost as if he was telling a children’s story because according to him, it went by like a fantasy. In a first person point of view, he started the tale with a man and a woman, in their teen years. The man was an aspiring dancer, filled with his passion for music. But there were obstacles — pressure, doubts, and insecurities. That’s how he ended up on the dock overlooking the shore and sunsets, the same place wherein he was saved from his thoughts of disappearing into thin air by a woman. He was an observant guy and knew from one glance that she was considered average. She wore outfits that looked like they were taken hurriedly for the sake of sale day and a stylish bag, so out of the whole aesthetic that it seemed like it was only given to her as a gift. But it was different at this moment. After one long pause and a closer stare, she looked the prettiest in his eyes. One thing that ironically brightened his day was indulging in her downward eyes which emitted great concern. He could only, after everything, smile. The girl visited him continuously but only at sunsets due to both of their busy schedules. It so happened that she stood in the dock also because she needed a breather, unknowingly saving a life as well. The girl approached him and days turned into a whole week of them getting to have fun together. They were each other’s rest and they lived every minute of being together. They knew nothing of their relationship, whether it was intimate or platonic, but they enjoyed the days. However, the days were numbered. The girl saw him no more.

“Maybe I needed you too. I just needed seven more hours to speak with you.” The words from the audio strayed further away from the storyline, leaving me confused. “The day you weren’t able to come back because you were busy, I stood still like the waves coming back to the shore. It’s this ache I feel after I had realized that I can’t escape; I will always go back to the same place. You touched my life, and I am not selfish enough to tell you that you haven’t changed it quite yet because you had done more than I could ever do. You kept trying and trying. I was losing hope, I’m sorry. By the time you have received this message, I’m probably not with you today, though I at least hope it wouldn’t take years for this to reach you.” I could hear his bittersweet chuckle at the end, “I just wanted to express how grateful I am to spend my remaining time with you. I wish to live at least just seven days with you to make up for my absence, is it a difficult request?”

No, this is not just a fictional story anymore. My thoughts were interrupted by the ring of my phone and I subconsciously answered it and placed it on my ear as if by instinct, completely spacing out. “Hey.” Hwang Hyunjin. That voice, the same one that showed me both this heart-wrenching delusions and reality. I could feel him through the phone. I could imagine his eyes, and for the first time in 5 days of meeting him, I could vividly remember his nose, lips, and the little mole under his left eye. “I didn't expect the recording to reach you several years after."

"Find me in the usual spot, yeah?”

I looked up and realized it was closer to dark that the driver had even slept on my destination. I must have been spacing out for several hours by now. I remembered it, plain as day. And if I’m not mistaken, we only have seven hours left before he leaves me. I couldn’t waste more time trying to count the hours left so I immediately went down and crossed the dock. I spotted his figure from afar; tall, blonde guy. He turned back and our eyes met. Now I could recognize him better as I ran closer to him.

How could I had ever forgotten about him? He was my first love, the reason why I feel so alone after all these years, why I felt so empty in Yuna’s wedding, why I could feel such strong connection between us. This must be why he was in a tux the moment I met him, as it was the last image of him I've remembered in his coffin. All this time, Hwang Hyunjin, the story was about us. 

“Are you real?” I sniffed and until then, tears started streaming down my face. I can’t breathe. I feel choked by my own tears and I can sense my heart breaking. My body started feeling so sore because of this immense pain in my heart and I wonder if he’s being so oblivious about it as this, everything, is just so mean. Can he hear my heart crashing?

He only responded with a smile, “I am if you want me to. Anything’s possible, isn’t it?” He reached for my hand and started caressing it gently. God, I could still feel him. So near, yet so far. It’s like he’s here, but isn’t. “Just like how you changed my mind that time.”

I threw my hand away from his hold and took a step back. “So this is why you've never met my friends today, why I was the only one who could see you, why I don't understand you fully, why those people in the café looked at me like I was crazy. Were you real after your death? How could you simply disappear, Hyunjin? Not only a moment ago but also in the past! That was so one-sided. You were breaking my heart. Was that your plan all along? During that sunset, did you mean to grab my attention with those eyes of yours, share your thoughts that changed my whole life, and leave me just to suffer all alone? We weren’t even in pain together, Hyun! I felt great with you and you told me you did find a friend in me. We felt so isolated, but wasn’t that…before us?” My eyes moved downward as I continued without letting him speak, “Or was that just me?” Chuckling in bitter as I spoke with poison, “Right, right. It could’ve just been me! You were suffering so bad and I didn’t even notice it. I may had fun, but it wasn’t enough to make you change your decision that one time I wasn’t around.” I stepped back as he tried to reach for me but I wouldn’t allow him to. He couldn’t even speak as I was madly lost in track with the ideas that filled in my head. “I was wrong. I was not enough. I should’ve been there-"

“Y/n!” He brought me back to reality with just one yell of my name. And I wondered, can he bring his self back too? “I hate that you think bad about yourself. That you had regrets during that moment as you kept blaming your decisions” He mumbled but loud enough for me to hear, “Maybe that’s the reason why I was given another opportunity to meet you. You changed me, y/n. I need you to understand that and respect my feelings.”

“Respect your feelings? Did you ever respect me as a person?” I stared at him, full of contempt and bitterness. He didn’t waste another second to respond but I had cut him off. “What kind of question is that, y/n? Of course, I do-“ I desperately wanted to move away from him that I took several steps back as he did forward.

“And you didn’t consider how I’d react?”

“I did, I had thought of it-“ “And you still went with it! I thought our friendship was strong enough that you’d understand how gravely I’d suffer if you were gone in just one moment. Hell, you left me for a lifetime!” “Can you please listen to me for one second before you might get yourself killed?! We walked back to the road and a car could be here any time we’d least expect!” He raised his voice higher to grab my attention that I had lost strength to fight back. Nothing made sense anymore. How could he put me in place as easy as he’d throw me away? “I can’t afford to lose you, y/n” His eyes softened and I could observe them; they were full of regrets. My heart ached once more and it wasn't because of him. I could sense my hopes getting up again.

[THE DOCK]

We were sitting, staring at the dimness in front of us. Silence. That was all I could hear almost an hour after we went back. It was enough to calm myself down, to be ready, before he’d start talking again. And he did. “You knew my struggles before as a trainee. Rather than solely dancing, I realize I’d be known greater as an idol. I was already suffering from their constant criticisms, endless practices, and trying to prove myself out there. Because it’s so different here in Korea. You can’t simply be skilled and succeed in the music industry. They take no mercy that it’s somehow not just music anymore. You have to appear perfect, have that appeal, be good-looking, and even know almost everything to please people and bring them to be your fans. Not only that, I had family issues too. It was messed up and I needed a different place. I didn’t know I actually needed a person, you, my safe place. It was as if all those worries disappeared and I found my reason to keep going on in that journey. In everyone’s eyes, I was a disappointment and a doubt but you never made me feel that way. You are important to me, y/n. And I’d climb a hundred mountains, reach for a thousand stars, and search for you within millions of people in this world, all for you. I’d make everything possible for you.” “Yet you couldn’t wait a day just for me?” Tears started falling once again but it was a first to see tears brimming from his eyes. I hesitated to add the question I’ve thought of all this time as I imagined his expression, his realization that I’m coming back to reality. “Hyunjin… why did you die? Why did you leave me, alone?”

After a sigh, he replied. “It was not simply one day for me. It was the only moment. I had realized in a short span of time that I can’t live without you. After those moments, I went back to my dorm and repeated the same routine. But I used to be happy because I thought of you every second of my life. I felt motivated in seeing someone who could finally understand me. However, every time they drag me down, give me a notice I may be up for elimination, criticize me, and say I’m not fit for dancing when it had been my reason for living, there was still this hole nobody can fill. And I may had gone through that pain, I may stand it when I’m with you but I was so lost. I wanted to restart my life because I was scared at the thought that I may not be happy with wanting to be an idol when I’ve wasted all my years for this. What am I going to do without it? Without you?”

“Was I not enough? Did I not make a greater effort of changing your perspective?”

“I arrived at the point that I had still thought of spending my days with my bestfriend when I finally become an idol. You’ve changed much more than just perspective, you changed me. But we both can’t change what cannot be changed. It’s life and I’ve given up on it. There’s nothing more you can do.”

He took ahold of my hand and we both stood as the sunrise is nearing. “But looking at you once more, now that I have this freedom, you really got a knack for changing lives. I used to be lost but I have a vision now. You brought me back. I realized that I still needed more time to be with you, I will always do. I do not want things to end, y/n. Thank you for the seven days, seven hours, and seven more minutes with you but I’d be too selfish as to always ask for one more second until I finish spending an eternity with you. Seven is not right for us, Eight may be our fate. But life encompasses everyone and I struggle to keep this goal running” He squeezed my hand, hard enough to make me realize he was trying to keep himself composed. Time is such an awful thing to be paired with life, I thought.

“I thought you said you’d make everything possible for me? For us?” He could only, after everything, smile. He reached for the strands of hair falling like the continuous tears running through my cheeks. He tucked them under my ear as he whispered “And I would.” 

I pushed him back a little as we were on the same wavelength, on the same page. “You’re not leaving me again, Hyunjin. You’re not. Not when I’ve spent my whole life thinking about you! Crushing myself over you and dreading this moment just to finally see you pushing me away again! I was there. Everyone moved on but I stayed in the same beach until dust collected in my pinned-up hair and you weren’t still there. On that- this same beach you had forgotten me because I wasn’t present the day you needed me.”

“I could never forget about you, I had never done that at all. I always needed one second to be close to you but that’s the problem, y/n. I used to be hurting every time I was with you, knowing I was meant to leave you in the end. I had no direction in life and I did not want to drag you further with me. You deserve to be in this world.”

Choked sobs are all that he could hear from me. No, I did not like to take another silence anymore. Why does it appear as if we’ve got nothing left to do, that all his decision must be him leaving me? I desperately grasped unto my shirt and crouched with all means to let out the pain my heart is feeling. The scream my heart is letting out that he can now hear.

“It hurts much more, Hyun. I was not living but I wasn’t dying too. Have you encountered it? Before leaving this sick world, did you carry all those regrets? Did you have troubles leaving this beach knowing you’re gone? Did you stop watching the television and your favorite series, basically your current only reason for living, just because I saw your face on the news? Did you lose your appetite? Did you have sleepless nights full of cries and when you were finally able to take a nap, you’d wake up with a wet pillow? Did you stop leaving the house and wasn’t strong enough to face your other friends? Did you feel very helpless to the point I wasn’t brave enough to meet your grave? Up to this time, I walk with nothing but pain in my heart. It hurts, Hyun. It hurts to think that the only thing that reminds me I’m still living is this sting in my heart and I hate that! I hate that I’m still living a life, the one thing that brought both of us down. I’m walking, driving, eating, strolling, and desperately trying to fix everything broken through time. One thing that brought both of us down, I’m still alive because of this sickening time!” “But I have no regrets, y/n.” He mumbled in a low volume and it finally struck me. There’s nothing more I can do, do I? Is this why he’s here? To make me understand that it wasn’t my fault? He’s so pure and good that it’s mean to me.

“How could you do this to me?”

He shushed me, brought my hands together, and embraced me as we both cried. “And I’m sorry. I apologize for everything I’ve made you feel but you won’t feel a single thing like that anymore. By the time we’d keep on living in different worlds, you have to let go of me.” “I’m scared, Hyunjin.” His hands touched my back as he held me closer and simply replied with a ‘don’t be’. “I could sense I’m slowly losing you. I’m slowly starting to forget how you touched me, how you made me feel, and your voice.” He replied no more and encouraged me to let all my feelings out… to forget later. I tried to move a little but he didn’t let me go. It was obvious he didn’t want me to have a last look at his eyes. It’s getting dangerous, Hyun. I’m starting to forget your gaze, those eyes that would then not be considered as ‘those’ but simply eyes I would not be able to recognize anymore. You’re starting to be like everyone, like strangers.

“Can I have one more word with you?” I could feel his soft hands stop and it was if I read his mind. He didn’t want any more promises, I know. “Did you really climb a hundred mountains, and reach for a thousand stars before you’ve searched for me?”

He paused for a moment and we both could hear ourselves chuckle. “You really are still the same, y/n. Hmm..” He stopped as if thinking, before continuing again, “I may had- have not. Okay, I did not.” I could sense his smile but couldn’t feel it anymore.

I tugged his shirt as we still embraced and gave a playful laugh through my tears. “You’re such a drama!” “But in the afterworld, I would. I’d do those for you before I’m forgetting you as well. We’d keep living in both worlds.” I sighed, but it was more of an emotional release. I wonder if he also started to forget how I feel.

“I hope the afterworld do you good, it’s what you deserve.” “And I’d pray to those angels to give you a life, not just worth living but full of happiness.” “That seems impossible” I playfully rolled my eyes and lightly hit him in the back.

“I’d make everything possible for you.” And I knew he’d let it happen. I was starting to calm down as I could see the sun rising. A new beginning. A restart.

“Can I say one last thing before we’d leave each other?” My voice almost cracked due to the sudden wash of emotions to which he replied with a sorrowed chuckle. I could feel myself crying again and my hands were shaking. My heart was clenching so bad and I didn’t know whether it was because of the fear of having a new life without him or because I’m losing him completely. “I liked you, Hyunjin. I really liked you.” It was more than just ache, I was wailing to let out the pain and everything else that kept my heart in a cage. I could sense his touch gradually getting away from me. I could sense him disappearing into thin air as my tears were heavy as falling down into the wooden platform in the dock. I desperately held on to myself instead of him, and crouched down as I felt myself losing all the strength. After everything, I still didn’t know whether he had heard my confession. But it was more than enough to get myself to admit it and let it all out. 

He was gone in seven seconds, but I’d need one more second to place him back in my heart again. I’d start anew not holding on to our memories but the lesson that I can find love like this. To be happy, just as he wished. He left me the second time but he was also right again, not in the sense of being together but living in separate ways. Seven was not right for us, Eight may be our fate.

We're dancing 'round the kitchen in the refrigerator light (All Too Well — Taylor Swift) I'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone (Enchanted — Taylor Swift)

[jenyifer]

Boston Home Analysis

So we know a lot from this outside shot of Bostons home. And I’m gonna talk about it cause I’m “not one of those normal girls” 🤮 I also high key want to get this screenshot on canvas and hang it in my house.

I’ll go least unhinged to probably just in my mind

1. The table and chairs on top of the extension to the house are the same ones from the roof top confession scene from ep 10.

I had speculated we had missed a scene and that happened on the roof of YOLO maybe Sand called Nick telling him Boston was on the roof being depressed. But now we know that’s at Bostons house. How did the events of last week really go then? I’m more confused and concerned. Let’s talk so Nick didn’t give Boston an answer at the shop then. HOWEVER because Boston had sought nick out. Nick thought about what had happened in the shop and came to the conclusion Boston was in a cry for help situation. That night Nick walks over to Bostons debating if he will go in or not and sees Boston on the roof. Nick gets in past the gate and up a ladder maybe? To get to Boston’s roof to comfort him? Nick needs an award or something. I mean I know he and Boston got to make love but damn that was fucking brave imagine if Boston had rejected him. Boston could have called the cops.

2. Because I’m always resisting watching Not Me I realized Bostons home is a reused set from Not Me. It’s the bar Gram and Eugene meet up at I believe. Delulu talking here but set in same universe things. Maybe Bostons dad converted the bar into Bostons home because he didn’t want to be running a bar out of the back of his house as a politician. Also it gave Ton extra space. Soooo can someone use this as an excuse to write BostonNickYok fic plz and thank you

3. Okay time for my head canon. I believe that the addition to the house was originally a sunroom for Boston’s mother who loved plants. The house doesn’t meld together. We see how the part where Bostons dad lives is very rich gold marble and Bostons apartment is green and concrete seems to be separated his dad doesn’t know what Boston is up to. Also it would make sense that the addition would have a separate entrance incase Bostons dad wants to rent it out eventually or if it was originally a garage. But Maybe it’s because Boston’s parents didn’t meld well his dad tried to buy her staying by building this hobby addition only for her to leave. When she left Boston missed her terribly and moved into her hobby area making it his own but still loving plants etc. we can see him getting distracted taking photos of the plants at the hostel so maybe it’s a habit he got from his mom. Bostons dad doesn’t go into the addition because it reminds him of his wife especially since Boston has decorated it with photos of New York and his other hobbies just highlighting how much Boston’s dad doesn’t know his son. It hurts my heart thinking of Boston trying to cling to this space to remember his mom who abandoned him. Probably is why he’s extremely cautious to make long term connections in general. Boston will leave first so they can’t leave him.