#just two days left guys!!!
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Do you ever think about how there totally could have been an old classmate of Phoenix Wright and Miles Edgeworth in the audience during like turnabout sister or turnabout samurai. Do you think they would realize? Like “hey, were those the guys in my class in like fourth grade? I kinda remember them. Wonder if they remember each other. But it was so long ago, I doubt they would even care.” Meanwhile Edgeworth and Phoenix are undergoing the most insane mental battles where both of them are going “I recognize my best friend across the courtroom and I desperately want to be close with them again.” And “god he is so god damn annoying I wish he would die already.”
#ace attorney#miles edgeworth#Phoenix Wright#not specifically ship so I won’t tag it but kinda ship if you get it#the classmate usually sits in courtroom trials because they love the drama#and honestly they like miles Edgeworth’s cases cause ‘hey I know that guy’#but of course they don’t like go up and talk to him cause they weren’t really that close and he left kinda abruptly#cause knowing someone for like a year in elementary school and then pestering them about why they left 15 years later is a weird thing to do#course Phoenix comes in and now the classmate now has to deal with the knowledge that the defense and prosecution used to always eat lunch#together and play superhero’s during recess with that really weird kid who was always up to no good#what if one day the classmate was like ‘maybe I should introduce them to each other again. sure that we would all get a laugh or two in and-#-that would be the end of it and they would continue with their lives as normal people. they certainly wouldn’t get super gay and awkward-#-about the whole thing and just be completely chill.’#god what would happen and Edgeworth v state?#the classmate would probably leave the third day like ‘I am a changed person. I can never go back to not knowing so much about this person.’#and like they wouldn’t be able to say or do anything cause like??? how do you even have that conversation???#‘hey I know you don’t remember me but I like sitting in the audience of courtroom trials and I was there for your case and I just want to-#-ask are you good? like honestly do you need someone to talk to?’
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Why are break ups so fucking Hard man
#it’s been two months and I’m fine most days but then it just fucking hits#I didn’t deserve this. I did not deserve any of this#mf breaks up with me for someone else and then says ‘you’re still my best friend!!!!!’ like are you ficking kidding me#you ripped my heart out of my chest for someone who doesn’t even love you back. just for the CHANCE of getting him to like you#sorry bout being sad on main everyone I just#fucking hell. how can it act like everything between us was going to be normal after treating me like shit#and the immediately gushing about the guy IT LEFT ME FOR directly TO MY FACE#idk it just. I wish he gave me a fucking proper apology. instead of going ohhh I miss you I have so much I wanna tell you#I call myself heartless aro but even I’m not that cruel#cats.txt
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i think one of the most disappointing things is to see that your childhood friends have grown up to represent the kind of people you're disappointed in
#had a friendship break up w like one of my entire friend groups of six ppl?#found out that one of the girls in our friend group had sent screenshots of our private conversation about smth I was hurt over#to a gc with our other friends (but not me ofc)#and they all proceeded to talk shit about me :// I swear the way my stomach dropped when the friend I was having the convo w#sent me screenshots of what our mutual friends were saying about me#she knew how much it would hurt me but still did it just to prove a point (though I'm certain she misrepresented our conversation + my word#to them considering she blocked out what she had initially said to them lol)#my stomach hasn't dropped like that since high school#which is exactly where I thought we left this kind of deceitful behaviour. like how are you guys twenty one and still sending screenshots#and talking bad behind only one (1) friend's back when you know she can't defend herself in that space#I immediately texted our collective gc to explain a text she had sent but failed to give context for#then told them if I'm as selfish as they say I will leave this friend group. and then I left that gc#I also texted two friends who I knew were talking shit and I sent them the screenshots that first “friend” sent and pointed out how#she blocked out what she said so I'm suspicious that she skewed our conversation so they (the two other “friends”) should be wary#I told them I understood it was fair game to stoop. this low considering neither of them tried to reach out to me to hear my side#or defend me + my privacy#for context: the original argument was me voicing out that I was upset bc that first “friend” had invited and planned with with our friend#group an event that landed on my birthday without checking in with me if I was planning to spend time with them that day#and she kept defending herself and saying she didn't know I'd plan smth (probably bc my bday is two months away lmao) and she said#the event they'd be attending is just as important and necessary as being there for my birthday?? it's literally just a party her brother#(who none of us are close to lol) is DJing at. and I brought up how I'm their close friend (not her brother) and it's not fair to call#it equally necessary. but I suspect she skewed what I said greatly considering all of our friends started calling me selfish and unfair#but yeah v v crazy and hurtful and just astonishing#salmaspeaks
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MC: Please, Dazai, after everything we’ve been through together. You can’t do this. Dazai: I’m sorry MC. MC: I’m begging you. Don’t do it. Dazai: It has to be done. MC: Dazai: MC: Dazai: *Places +4* Uno.
#ikevamp#ikemen vampire#ikevamp incorrect quotes#ikevamp dazai#ikevamp mc#okay but rereading dazai's route in english has been a hell of a ride#i love how the game is like 'be warned if you try to date one of the other jpn guys. they will meme.'#and tbh? i think that's fking brilliant good show everyone#like on the one hand yes i think its very sweet they care about her comfort so far away from home#and how they bond over having a similar homeland#but then they just straight up get so chaotic at points and i wheeze laugh#i will never forget doing one of sebas' bday stories and mc is like#'take those clothes off'#vital context: mc didnt want him to wear work clothes on their bday date--she wanted him to wear 'we're on a date clothes'#but sebas just replies 'but i don't wanna go to work naked 😔'#and she's just like 'AKIHIKO I S2G'#and to this day every single time i remember i become monsieur de wahaha actually#i find it hysterically funny how pissy sebas gets about dazai's silly goose antics#meanwhile gilligan's cut to sebas being absolutely out of pocket when left unsupervised#the duality of man that these two manage to carry#you know it just occurred to me that perhaps sebas gets mad bc dazai is so averse to letting anyone help or care about him in return#and that's really sweet if that's the case (although I suspect it is also partially that he makes more work for him kalhdgkhsfsjhk)#godspeed dazai doors are the oppressor windows are freedom#don't let the establishment fool you
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i’ve just finished season one of TMA, and being someone who’s okay with spoilers is fun because it means i can peruse the wiki and scroll through the tag and i get to become privy to all sorts of weird, wonderful, halfway-out-of-context information that i get to look forward to understanding in the future
like. what do you mean Leitner’s in the tunnels?
what do you mean Jon eats the extinguished sun??
what do you mean it’s spelled Gerard Keay???
#Jon‚ narrating a statement: '…whose passport had identified him as Gerard Keay.'#Me‚ an American‚ not yet in the habit of following along with the transcripts: 'Ah‚ yes. Jared Key.'#tma spoilers#the magnus archives#gerry keay#gerard keay#tma#i’m sorry but Why do british ppl apparently pronounce Gerard like that how do y’all audibly tell Gerard and Jared apart#anyways based on how i’ve glossed over the other two arguably much more shocking revelations i mentioned#i’m sure you can tell that i’ve latched onto Gerry and everything else is just background noise to me#okay that’s an exaggeration. i Do love the entire show and am invested in the entire cast to varying degrees but.#Gerry… my beloved… his role in Ep. 12 hooked me instantly#it’s bad‚ guys. ive already started making him a playlist. it’s safe to say there’s no hope for me. the fixation train has left the station#Gerry (and Michael) have moved in and will live rent free in my brain indefinitely#listen. you can’t just present to me a cryptic goth man with long poorly dyed black hair and mommy issues who’s covered in eye tattoos-#-and is frequently affiliated with the supernatural and then expect me to Not fall in love with him!!!#*looks at DoorKeay* …and i am also not immune to the opposites attract & human x supernatural entity tropes…#tbh looking at all this DoorKeay fan art has me suddenly remembering my EraserMic days#which is a wild thing to say i know but listen. it’s just the whole long-black-hair x long-blonde-hair similarity#and maybe a bit of the opposite personalities. idk why but i was just admiring one particular DoorKeay fanart and it suddenly hit me#i literally whispered to myself out loud ‘holy shit it’s EraserMic again…’ and it's not Really but also it kinda is and i think it's funny#but then i did More thinking and i think it goes beyond just them. i think i rlly just have a thing for Dark & Light coded character ships#Michael & Gerry… Navia & Chlorinde... Sun & Moon… Mic & Aizawa…#i think i’m learning smthn abt myself now i’ve gotta think if there’s more examples…#i'd almost say Alphonse and Seth but eeehhh not quite. and honestly i think the bigger-brain way to see their relationship through the-#-Dark x Light trope would be to take into account the resurgence of DM!Al and that kinds flips the dynamic#i think that if either of them are Moon-coded it'd be DM!Al. but they honestly just don't quite fit in that trope's box anyways#they're Pink/Black x Brown coded. not Yellow x Black#i do gotta say that i've pulled an Interesting number of songs off Seth's playlist while working on Gerry's... it's the mommy issues innit#i'd almost say PB x Marcy but once again we've got a character that's pink-coded‚ not yellow. i think they fall into a different category
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hi friends—here’s another sneak peak of my byler big bang fic…
on the same frequency !!
-.-. .... .- .--. - . .-. / .....
December 27, 1995
After clearing the snow from his 1982 Ford Escort, as well as a path in the driveway, Mike hops into the car with haste, not bothering to even fasten his seatbelt. He turns the key in the ignition and once the engine comes to life, he quickly puts it in reverse, backing out of the driveway onto Maple Street, and then he heads towards the center of town. And with a slight lead foot—driving five miles an hour over the speed limit and also rolling through at least two stop signs and running a red light—it takes him a total of six minutes to pull his car into a parking space of the library. Then Mike races up the shoveled salted walkway leading to the building, opens the door, and darts over to the front desk.
As he approaches the librarian, she smiles and greets him, “How can I help you?”
“Newspapers—” he says a bit breathless, heart beating fast in his chest from his short sprint, “—for research…”
“Do you have a library card?”
December 28, 1985
Mike shakes his head. “No… no, I believe you.”
“You do?”
“Hey—friends don’t lie, remember? I believe you—always,” he says. “Plus, kinda hard not to believe you when you’re right…”
🎶 a song from chapter five 🎶
rating: mature
tags: alternate universe, not canon compliant, major character death, grief/mourning, ptsd, blood and injury, supernatural elements, time shenanigans, butterfly effect, thriller, angst with a happy ending
release date: 11/26/2023
✨ previous chapter previews ✨
ch1 | ch2 | ch3 | ch4
tagging:
@kaiminluu @greenfiend @total-serene560 @across-thestars @boahey @magentamee @daydreams-in-the-moonlight @soyboystan @foodiewithdahoodie @booksandpaperss @likegoldintheair @mandycantdecide @hazmatazz @sparks-olivarpente @1-tehe-1 @wheelersboy @rebellius @maru-chu @septembr-moon @kamomillatea
(if you’d like to be tagged/untagged for the next chapter preview, please let me know!)
#chapter 5 preview#this chapter gave me a lot of trouble and i just hope it was worth it lol#like you guys have no idea!#anyway… only two more previews left !!#and 22 more days to go!#on the same frequency: a byler fic#byler fanfic#byler fanfiction#bbb23#byler big bang 2023#byler big bang
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roommate w no self-awareness sent an angry text to the group chat about how he was finally pushed to "deep clean the kitchen" bc no one was cleaning up after themselves
get home half an hour later
counter covered in dirty dishes. it looks like he wiped down the stovetop. the cleaning supplies are all out. several dishes and things on the counter and table are all his.
???
great uh. deep clean, man.
#messages from the ouija board#its not gross in here its just like. could probably use a sweep.#but the text is so funny like its exactly how it looked two days ago when i left#im so done w this fucking guy lmao hes like Im So Chill I Dont Mind Anything Whatever#and then u ask him to stop smoking inside and he ignores u and if he has a problem w something ur doing hes a martyr
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#guys (neutral) i have made a mistake#theres a guy in my classes whos also pakistani (but like FROM pakistan) and from generally the same areas as my family i guess#and we're the only two in the class (for context the other desis who make up the majority of the class are all indian international student#and i know that im a friendly person#but i fear that i made a connection with this guy too quick#and have given him the wrong idea#idk if hes just attached to me bc im the only other pakistani or that AND bc ive accidentally led him on or smthg without even realising#like he will hover near me and will only leave when i leave (and its gotten so bad over like 3 days that my other classmate noticed ->#and was like ... girl yk hes attached himself to u right#asdhjkasldadhajkldadhajsd#anyways thats besides the point#hes rly nice so i feel bad asdkjlasd;adjkl;adadjksd (and he doesnt rly have any friends here besides family and classmates so im giving ->#him the benefit of the doubt#and yall today was the only day i left class and he wasnt right beside me bc i think he left to do smthg#and i went to help anther girl get to her car#and i guess because he couldnt say bye to me (esp since its the weekend now) he started DMing me on instagram#there are more details but i will spare yall for now bc the ig messagse are whats makign me more worried <3333#anyways gn#mehrtalks
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read a fic a bit ago where the two characters got magically tied together through their possibly metaphorical possibly literal strings of fate and they could feel emotions through the bond and had to be right next to each other or touching at all times or it would cause physical pain. anyway sskk au
#me reading anything: wow this is good but you know what it really needs? atsushi and akutagawa#I'm aware this is two steps to the left of a soulmate au also. sorry guys I know everyone hates those these days I'm just a loser#bsd#sskk#anyway. cuddle or die au lmaoooo
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i hate insurance. i hate making phone calls. i double hate making phone calls to insurance that don't even get answered
#gnashing my teeth#i am so mad right now#this guy number 1 literally calls me on a saturday ??? which i return the call it goes to voicemail he says his office hours are m-f#so why??? did you call me on a saturday???#whatever. fine. i leave a message#his voicemail specifically says i'll call you back by the end of the business day#but does he call me on monday? tuesday? wednesday??? no????#so i left another message this morning#he's only calling me i suppose because i sent an email to their office like can somebody answer my question because the claim rep can't#my question literally just needs an email answer#can i cash the check yes or no#and number two do i get the second check now or after the rest of the work is done yes or no#i'm SO MAD
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still holding out hope for a jayfeather/Lionblaze se or novella... my one dream
#before ivypools se got announced (or rather when i havent heard about it) i had like an idea to draw her#lion and jay together w a caption like 'guess what these guys have in common'#do you guys remember the day 15 post w holly n dove n then eventually its just lion and jay left#my initial idea for that was to have ivy on the last image#and there was supposed to be text on each part that fully read as 'we used to' 'tell each other' 'everything'#im account of the og siblings being close#dove having shared a prophecy w them- like that one post lol 'be honest do u guys only hang out w me bc of the prophecy :('#and ivy being like. whats left of the two and the bros are kind of like turned away from her and shes not able to meet their gaze either#its interesting to me to think about (sigh) as is as usual w me w these five LMAO.#i dont see much talk about these guys relationship- not much good to talk about nonetheless even if you ignore fernivy but like#do you think lion or jay ever look at ivy and think that shes the only one left who understood#do you think ivy looks at them and wonders. would i have been a fundamentally different person if i was in doves place#would she have beeb happier? i doubt she thinks she wouldve#i speaku
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look it’s not really that i wish i was in a relationship because the last couple of years which i have spent firmly and resolutely single after finally getting over the All That which went down between me and the last person i had any serious romantic interest in have been without question the happiest years of my life. and it’s also not really that i wish all of my friends WEREN’T in relationships because i want them to be happy et cetera et cetera. but this whole thing where both situations are happening at the same time (i.e. me: single; literally every one of them: not) does have me feeling a little. weird i guess.
#learned today that the last two of them who weren’t already in committed relationships have made it official with people they were casually#dating as of this weekend. we’d all been hanging out earlier in the day as a group and then we all went our separate ways in the evening#and the ones who already had boyfriends/girlfriends went off to meet them and these other two went off to meet THEIR dates#and i went off: to go see a performance on my own#could probably write a not-half-bad angsty poem about that whole scenario lmao#and the thing is#i like going places and doing things on my own. i really do. i’m not even offended when i invite people along and they don’t take me up on#it because i get that we all have different interests and i don’t take it personally. but i guess sometimes…#i really don’t know. i actually don’t even know if i’m really *depressed* about this i’ve just been thinking about it all day and.#what can i say! it feels weird! sometimes i just feel like i’m doing life wrong. getting left behind. etc. whatever.#you guys get it. this is tumblr dot com i know we are all familiar with this feeling#but what the hell. the performance was excellent and ice cream was on sale at the grocery store today. i’m going to be okay about this#caseyposting
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what is the forbidden harry and jean lore
cracking my knuckles before preparing to type the most deranged post in the history of the world
okay so listen. harry and jean are so unbelievably fucked up. their relationship is TERRIBLE for them both. it's toxic, it's abusive, it's deeply codependent and it's also the only thing either of them has.
here's the thing. the partnership starts off fairly normal- yes, harry is a shithead, he's not a good person, but neither is jean and harry doesn't treat him like shit right off the bat. harry starts off on his best behavior, because here's a new guy who's much younger and who he outranks: this is fresh meat, thrown into his enclosure. another can for him to open. someone new to help him bear his burdens until he inevitably throws them away. he's gotta be let in first, though, so he's playing the role of mentor or chill superior officer or whatever until jean relaxes around him and starts to let his guard down. because despite jean's apprehensions- he's heard about gool ol' dick mullen, after all- harry can be funny, kind, and very good at his job. so maybe everyone was wrong- maybe, to him, harry will be good. maybe this partnership will work out. jean finds himself liking harry and caring about him. harry catches onto this, because of course he does, and the backslide begins.
it starts off minor. more hangovers at work, a little speed off the bathroom mirror. but it's fine because they're still getting work done. harry snaps at him a little, but it's just a rough patch. it's okay. they're not just work partners anymore, they're friends. maybe they're more, although they'd never put a name to it. they go to each other's places and they talk and smoke and drink and shoot the shit about anything they can think of: the world, the pale, the cases. it's an easy thing. a dangerous routine. if jean starts drinking more, to match harry- it's fine. at least it's in company. and all the while harry is getting openly worse, getting completely hammered at work, having more outbursts than actual conversations, lashing out at everyone. jean is no longer safe from it. jean no longer abstains from it either. and it's still jean's responsibility as his partner to take care of him, to keep him going. harry does not usually seem to care about reciprocating, but that's not the point. it's jean's job and, unfortunately, he cares. he's not sure what he would do without harry, now. he's not sure what harry would do without *him*.
harry the can-opener realizes what they've become- codependent, inseparable- and starts spiraling rapidly. he has the freedom to, now. jean talks to him about the drinking, and harry tries to kick it, and jean really believes in him. believes in him when he fails, when he tries again a few weeks later. over and over again until harry stops trying. says he wants to get worse. and jean gets it, at first. only at first. he's depressed too, he understands the suicidal thoughts and tendencies, understands how easy it is to get trapped in an addiction. he knows how important his support is to harry's continued survival.
but it's like everything harry does is to hurt him. screams at him and threatens him and leverages anything he can against him, including very personal things he's pried out of him, then shows up at his door with tears in his eyes and a gun in his hand telling jean that he's sorry, he's never going to do it again, he's going to make sure of it. and jean, still raw and angry from their fights, invites him in, takes the gun from his hand and talks him down and drinks with him, because what else is there to do? jean will never lay down and take it, has no interest in being the better person anymore- he knows every little nasty detail of harry's life by now, and he's not shy about digging his nails into harry's scars- but when everything is said and done, when all the punches have been thrown, he's still going to be there. he's going to be around to bandage the knuckles harry just hit him with because this is it. there's nothing else for either of them.
it doesn't matter that harry lies to him- about what he's been doing, how he's feeling, about where their belongings end up or where the money went, about things he did on a case. it doesn't matter that harry provokes the shit out of him until he's screaming himself raw, then lays down and cries about it until *he's* the one apologizing. it doesn't matter that harry only gets worse, and that somehow he's the one blamed for it. every day they rip each other apart because at least that way they can feel something. it's easy to scream at someone knowing they'll scream back, and then come sleep in your bed anyway. neither of them is going to leave except by death, and they both know it.
there's a complete erosion of boundaries between them. luiga himself confirmed their codependency. if something was jean's, it was harry's too, and vice versa. everything was each other's business. there was nothing kept apart between them. harry cracked jean open and gutted him, so jean did the same to him. they understood each other *too* well, so they knew exactly how to hurt each other, and they did just that. and that's the sad part, that they were so completely exposed with one another- it could have been so good for them. harry could have been a better person and so could jean. they might have been able to heal together. but we see jean's ableist hostility towards harry in the ending: jean has lost all patience for harry. there is no sympathy left.
and you wonder: why, now, does jean call it quits? why, after several years of mutual destruction, does jean draw a line in the sand here? well, obviously- he's been rejected. harry told him to fuck off in martinaise, which of course was not new behavior, but usually harry would come back to cry and beg and plead with him not to leave him. and harry's not doing that. harry doesn't even know who he *is*. harry is running around with this guy he barely knows, and he's functional and they're not having screaming matches, and when harry does finally approach him, he just twists the knife right in by insisting this new guy is cooler. he thinks jean is an asshole now, and not in the way he did before where he thought it was fun to fuck with him. jean is nothing to him, in the most thorough and all-consuming way possible. harry doesn't even know his *name*.
so, fine. harry dumped him. harry's not coming back to him, and he's sure as hell not going to put in the work to rebuild that bridge, not when he should have burned it years ago anyway. and if that's how it's going to be, he's got some things to say. he's going to make it hurt for harry as much as it hurts for him. maybe he doesn't believe every single thing he says in the ending, or not fully, but it doesn't matter. he's going to say everything he can to hurt harry because harry is leaving him, and they already failed each other a long time ago.
#disco elysium#harry du bois#jean vicquemare#jean doesn't start off a good person but he does start with boundaries and some respect and such#then harry just strips him of all of that through sheer brute force#harry is nice enough long enough to get jean to *like* him and then comes the real hurt#and all they have is each other. jean never thought he'd see the day that harry left him behind#and why of the two of them is it harry who gets this second chance? who gets the forgiveness?#if jean was bitter before he's absolutely acrid now.#jean was not a GOOD caretaker but he was there for the necessary things#and he took care of harry because of the codependency. not out of the goodness of his heart#their dynamic is SOOO fucked. it's so unbelievably toxic. radioactive even. and i adore it#i hate depictions of jean with no nuance#where it's either omgg hes just a sad guy who tolerates all of harrys stuff and harry is just a big mean addict:(#or harry is the innocent wittle soft sad guy and jean is the unprovoked asshole and harry has to be protected#THOSE ARE BOTH WRONG. HARRY STARTED IT BUT JEAN WAS A WILLING PARTICIPANT.#JEAN WILL NEVER LET HARRY SWING WITHOUT SWINGING BACK! AND SOMETIMES JEAN SWINGS FIRST!#AND THEY WILL STAY TOGETHER ANYWAY!#until harry forgets that is :)#wrote a fic about that. lol#anywayyyyyyyyyy#sorry you really activated my mental illness i love talking about jeanharry dynamics#kiwipost#tagging this one lol#ask#jv meta#hdb meta
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Me: *delusional* Maybe when I watch Marineford this time Ace will be rescued and hang out with Luffy and Whitebeard
#anime#radiowaves#one piece#op#marineford#*me: *watching Whitebeard’s fleet arrive* SEE! THEY HAVE IT UNDER CONTROL IT’S FINE*#*C’MON NOT ACE HE’S JUST A LITTLE GUY*#*AND LUFFY’S BEEN APART FROM HIS WHOLE CREW LET HIM HAVE HIS BROTHER!!*#*I also find it so funny that Geko Moria’s there like?? SIR???*#*didn’t you almost die like a month ago because Luffy accidentally found your Halloween island boat??*#*why do you THINK you should be allowed here???*#*meanwhile Mihawk has done ONE (1) attack that didn’t even hit THE CORRECT GUY and now will be chilling*#*I cannot WAIT for him to get home after his horrible day and find out Zoro and Perona are living in his house since he left*#*he just had his shit rocked by this war and then he can’t even sit on his couch in peace without two angsty teens heckling him*#*also not to give you buggy fans any rights*#*but he’s been great in this arc so far. Accidentally restarting his clown cult with escaped prisoners and deluding himself into the war*#*what else do I like*#*Marco seems pretty cool*#*I enjoy the idea of Boa standing there doing FUCK ALL until Luffy comes by good for her*#*i DID get jumpscared by Django being there I REALLY had to rack my brain to remember he was a marine*#*speaking of- are all the marines there?? where’s G8 man is he still chilling*#*such a good arc*
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#I don't know how to do this#I don't know how to fucking do this#I had a fucking Hours long crying breakdown after my parents left today#bc i'll never be fucking good enough for them#but if I say anything then we're acknowledging it and maybe it's better to not acknowledge it#maybe we just go back to ignoring the distance#if I say anything then I’m the bad guy again#I don't want to have to do this I don't want to have to keep being the one who steps forward first#I just want to stop trying and let it be what it is and let it hurt in a dull distant way#i've started crying again just from thinking about it#and I don't cry. I haven't cried more than like a light sniffle in three years until today#(bc of antidepressants)#I don't know what to do#I don't want to make it worse I don't want to hurt her feelings I don't want to be the one that starts shit#and I knoowwww I’m gaslighting myself bc she trained me to do this and I Cannot ignore the. two hour bathtub sob#but god what if I *am* the problem what if I *am* instigating and actually we had a good day#what if I’m expecting too much from her and this is better so maybe this is as good as it gets#do I bear it? do I bear it because she can't?#I know it's not fair and I know i'm hurting but maybe that's better than her hurting#do I just carry it for both of us?#I’m not a kid anymore I don't have that excuse#maybe this is womanhood. carrying it so your mother doesn't have to#she's carrying it for my grandmother. maybe this is just it.#I don't know. I don't know what to do.#I’m so fucking tired and it hurts#whatever.#vent#sad kids with bad moms club
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officially on vacation (don't leave until wednesday, but no more work!) and i'm happy happy happy BUT it's also like. there is some stuff happening at work that i'm soooo nosy about and i don't want to have to wait until i come back to hear about it lmfao.
#just stupid drama#i really wanna know if the guy we all HATE finally quits or not#there was an. altercation.... at work the other day#the coworker he's been shit talking came in early and was like heyyyy can we talk?#and he tried to get out of it like 5 times lmfao#he was like oh our manager was going to set up a meeting in A FEW WEEKS....#and she was like oh we can just talk now!! i'm here and i'd love to speak to you :-)#he was like ummm i can't stay late!!! and she was like oh there's an hour left on your shift! we can talk right now! :-)#fucking hilarious. he did not want to be confronted and thought he could get out of it but she's kind of insane so that is not happening#and the thing is too he was literally MOMENTS before complaining to us that he didn't know why she was mad that he was talking about her#because he NEVER talked about her! and everyone was LYING!#and i was like dude. you're talking about her RIGHT NOW.#it's lowkey sad though bc he has two 'friends' at work that i know for a fact have gone to the manager and told him that they don't#want to work w him anymore and complained about his work performance#and apparently that somehow came out and he's convinced that the manager is lying about it. but he's not... lol.#so it's just so sad that no one is being honest with him#lmfao i understand though bc i personally have been honest with him and called him out (VERY GENTLY) and he gets sooo pissy about stuff#but like i'm not pretending to be his friend!#anyways i'm sooo nosy about it lmfaooooo#on instagram he blocked me and like all of our coworkers but two lmfao#but i know both of them hate him so idk why he didn't block them too#lmfao like literally everyyyyyyy single person i work with dislikes him#so yeah i'm hopeful that it's finally over lmfao#this is the same guy i posted about before who bullied my favorite coworker into leaving so.#yeah i really hope he's gone now
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