#and i went off: to go see a performance on my own

[camgoloud]

look it’s not really that i wish i was in a relationship because the last couple of years which i have spent firmly and resolutely single after finally getting over the All That which went down between me and the last person i had any serious romantic interest in have been without question the happiest years of my life. and it’s also not really that i wish all of my friends WEREN’T in relationships because i want them to be happy et cetera et cetera. but this whole thing where both situations are happening at the same time (i.e. me: single; literally every one of them: not) does have me feeling a little. weird i guess.

[lokissweater]

birds of a feather . ۫ ꣑ৎ .

{olympic figure skater!satoru gojo x olympic figure skater f!reader}

summary: you and satoru have known each other since childhood, two little birds navigating through life together as you shared one dream in common— to win gold at the olympics, you both a figure skating pair as you moved and performed and fell in love as the years went by, both balancing off a trembling tight rope and holding on to keep each other in place, a silent agreement that if you indulged and fell into the depths of the truth of what you were, you’d run the risk of losing your careers and each other, yours and satoru’s biggest fears. but you’re growing, and it’s getting harder to hold back… especially for satoru— that trembling tight rope on the verge of snapping in two.

warnings: MDNI. afab!reader, childhood best friends to lovers trope, cursing, DIABOLICAL ANGST BUT WITH HAPPY ENDING I PROMISE!, mentions of death and loss, mentions of injury and blood, FLUUUFFF, satoru loves loves loves you, SMUUUTT, unprotected p in v sex (wrap it y’all), creampie, pussy eating, dom satoru, pussy drunk satoru, DIRTY TALK, pet names, figure skating, the olympics, true love <3

word count: 22.3k (I KNOW PLEASE GIVE ME A CHANCE PLEASE—)

authors note: YYYOOOUUU GUUUYYSSS THIS ONE IS MY BABBBYYY AND IM CRYING NOW WRITING THIS LMFAOAOAO. i hope you all love it seriously i GLADLY worked day and night writing this and i’d do it all over again just to see y’all happy :) THANK YOU for your support it is UNREAL, and like always, I LOOVEEE YOUUU MWAAHHH <333

you first met satoru when you were six at the skating rink.

he was only a year older than you, both of your mothers coincidentally signing you up for the same youth ice skating lessons for beginners, meeting and chatting it up seeing as you and satoru were the youngest in age out of the rest of the parents there and their children, you both automatically put together by your coach and separated from the older kids to do warm ups.

and even though the age difference was only a year, satoru at first treated you like a little helpless tiny thing who needed assistance in everything— the cute pink ribbons in your hair doing you an injustice and further implementing the image of a little girl who had no clue of what was going on around her, thinking you were cutesy and he was determined to be your little knight in shining armor when the time came.

until he saw you skate.

what satoru didn’t know, was that you were a prodigy— related to one of the most famous ice skaters in olympic ice skating history, akira, as her talent was blessedly passed down to you through your fruitful system and the lucky processes of genetics— chosen as you barely even had to be taught, you catching everything right away by the coach without any sort of slip and fall… unlike satoru who was clumsily struggling to even glide through the ice without wobbling.

and little satoru was astonished by you and your talent, his first impression of you drastically changing by the end of the first lesson as he shakily slid across the ice over to where you were, patiently doing little turns on the ice while you waited for your mother to finish up talking to another lady (it was satoru’s mother).

“hi!” he had greeted you, a huge goofy smile on his face as you slowed down and looked at him, returning a shy smile of your own.

“hi.”

“i’m satoru!” he extended a hand, eyes shooting wide as he suddenly lost his balance and slipped forward, on the brink of face planting on the ice as his hands quickly flailed out and gripped the edge of the rink to save himself.

you giggled, tiny hands reaching and holding his arm steady as he tried to regain his balance.

“are you okay?” your shy voice asked, and he grinned through his wobbling.

“yeah! i’m okay! don’t worry!”

but he still couldn’t stabilize himself.

“maybe we should sit on the bench?” you suggested sweetly. “so you don’t fall…”

“okay!”

you gripped him as hard as you could (which really wasn’t a lot for a six year old) and slowly moved with him on the ice, supporting him until you were both out of the rink and seated on the bleachers.

“what’s your name?” he chirped, his hands clutching on the edge of the bench as he leaned forward and looked at you kindly, legs swinging.

“y—y/n.”

“nice!” he cheesed, looking at you. “i saw you skate. you’re really good!”

“t—thank you.” you mumbled, shy and alarmed that a boy was talking to you.

“when did you start skating?”

you looked at him confusedly. “um.. today?”

his eyes bulged.

“hah?! today?!”

you jumped at his outburst, cheeks pink as you quickly nodded.

“wowww!…” he gushed with stars in his eyes. “that’s great! i saw you doing turns and things. i can barely move on the ice… it’s slippery.”

“well—” you peeked up at him shyly. “my—my aunt taught me some stuff… but not a lot.”

“you have someone in your family that skates?” he asked excitedly with huge blue eyes. “how cool! hopefully i can catch up to you and at least move…”

“that’s okay...” you smiled. “i know you will.”

“really?!” he gushed again before leaning back, nodding his head cutely. “if you think so, then i know so!”

and you giggled at him, your timid wall slowly crumbling down at his bubbly and kind personality as he was a chatterbox and talked to you about anything that had to do with olympic ice skating— him knowing so much about it and nearly screaming his head off and panicking when he found out that your aunt was none other than akira, now knowing exactly why you were so good at skating in the first place.

satoru looked up to you. so much so that it was comical— seeking your approval over the following years during lessons and not even listening to the damn coach himself as he listened more to you, wanting you to teach him how to do bunny hops or backward crossovers and giving a big fat attitude to anyone else who tried to coach him, whining and snoring away until you and your little bows skated over to him to teach him.

and because of that you spent a lot of time with satoru in and out of lessons, even more than you ever spent with your own friends at school as you clung to him at all times— him cheering and encouraging you on when you were shy in certain situations, and you teaching him everything you could about skating and bringing him little bags of strawberry gummy puffs since he had the biggest sweet tooth you had ever seen, you both cemented and stubbornly attached to the hip with neither wanting to let go.

and when your mother’s planned a little playdate at the local outdoor ice skating rink on a chilly december day— an enormous christmas tree sitting tall and glorious by the rink with twinkling star-shaped fairy lights and jingle bells surrounding the plaza, you and satoru spinning each other around and dancing and giggling over the murmur of classic christmas songs, they saw the potential… an idea sparking in their heads amongst their cooing and picture taking.

you and satoru were both originally put into the ice skating world to train and be independent professional skaters, olympic athletes to be more specific when the time came.

but that concept quickly changed the second you met.

now— you and satoru were an olympic ice skating pair, the subject materializing when your mother’s pulled you out from those simple ice skating lessons (you both already way past getting the basics down since your skill combined with you teaching satoru had you both surpassing the class) and paying for a professional couples figure skating coach to get you guys started now and early.

and the both of you were over the moon, especially satoru, as he absolutely adored you and begged his mother literally every fucking day if he could go over to your house or over to the ice skating rink with you to dance, you doing the same and the two of you crying and wailing on the floor whenever times wouldn’t work out and plans fell through, your mother’s having to give in and drag you to each other’s houses so you would both stop crying.

when akira found out you were officially figure skating, she nearly drove into the side of a building speeding over to your house from being out of the country for so long competing.

“is it true?!” she burst through the doors, your mother rolling her eyes after being startled half to death over her bizarre behavior. “is my little niece gonna be a figure skater like me?!”

you gasped excitedly upon seeing her, getting up from your spot on the rug and running over to akira’s open arms, leaving your coloring book and crayons behind as she swung you around.

“she started when she was six you know that…” your mother grumbled, folding various kitchen towels.

“but you just told me now that she’s not independent!” akira countered, setting you down and holding you out at arms length, eyes wide and eager. “—but partner figure skating! like me!”

she shook you. “where is he?! your partner! is he here? is he your age? is he nice?”

you perked up and looked over to the kitchen. “oh mommy! satoru should come and meet—”

“his name is satoru? oh my goodness how cuteeee!” she cooed, pinching your cheeks. “is he handsome? do you like him? do you have a crush on him—”

your little cheeks blazed as your mother threw a kitchen towel at her.

“she’s eight aki! jesus christ.”

“love has no limits.” akira wiggled a finger, and you giggled.

your mother called satoru’s place soon after, his mother excitedly conversing over the other line about how the akira was finally back in town and how satoru was gonna lose his mind once he saw her— you knowing he was the biggest fan and sometimes told you facts during lessons that you didn’t even know about your own aunt.

and when they finally did arrive, satoru was stiff— frozen in place with tight arms at his sides by the living room as his alarmed big blue eyes looked at akira with a sickly pale face, you snickering behind him.

“hi satoru!” akira greeted, leaning down with her hands on her knees to look at him at eye level. “it’s nice to meet you! y/n tells me you like my skating?”

“u—uhuh.” he responded dumbly, and you slapped a hand over your mouth to stop yourself from laughing, knowing satoru would cry and whine about it later if he heard you.

“that’s great! i’m happy you skate too… and with my niece i should say!” she spoke kindly, ruffling his snowy colored hair up and standing upright, placing her hands on her hips and looking like a straight freaking superhero in satoru’s eyes. “you wanna compete in the olympics?”

“uh huh.”

a laughing breath hurled from your throat and your cheeks puffed up like a squirrel, clasped hands still over your mouth and face going red from how hard you were trying to keep it in.

“that’s what i like to hear.” she smiled, a shiny impressive one as satoru still stood there in a stuck daze.

“work hard okay? the both of you. so you can catch up to me someday, yeah?”

your hands slowly fell from your mouth then, eyes filled with admiration and determination as you both eagerly nodded, looking at each other hopefully.

“you think—” satoru stammered, looking at akira. “you think we can… win three gold medals like you?”

“oh absolutely!” she shrugged. “i don’t doubt it at all.”

you and satoru gushed, glittering little eyes as you stared up cutely at akira, her giving you both a silly grin.

“how long have they been doing partner work?” she asked your mother suddenly, watching the way you and satoru chattered then excitedly about the actual possibility of competing for the olympics someday.

“mmm, i wanna say for about a year and a half? maybe two?” she looked over at satoru’s mother, who nodded in agreement. “they’re with a couple’s figure skating coach right now.”

akira hummed and shifted her gaze back down between the two of you.

“i’m training them from now on.”

both mothers froze, eyes wide as they stared at her.

you and satoru hadn’t even realized what she said, still caught up in your little bubble of the olympics and metals and competitions until your mother caught your attention.

“did you hear?”

you shook your head. “hear what!”

“akira wants to coach you and satoru.”

his jaw dropped and he nearly passed out on the floor, you quickly grabbing his shoulders as he reeled over.

“are— are you sure?” your mother continued, looking at her sister now. “aren’t you busy? i thought you were only here for the weekend.”

she waved her off. “i need a break from skating for a little… at least until the next olympics.”

akira turned to you then and smiled warmly. “and i wanna coach my little niece and her new buddy! if that’s okay?”

“yesyesyesyes!—”

both you and satoru bounced up and down and cheered, arms up as you tackled and hung off of akira like a jungle gym, her laughing and smiling big at your enthusiasm.

akira was the most important figure in your life, right next to satoru as she became a mother figure to the both of you as well as your mentor.

and training with her was not easy— your age not an excuse at all whatsoever in her eyes to not learn proper figure skating moves and technique, saying it would only serve you right in the end if you started adapting your bodies to it now rather than later.

and like most things, akira was right. but even though practices were grueling and tough to the point where you had to drag satoru across the ice to get up, she always tried to make them fun in the end— cracking jokes and teaching you guys silly little tricks that you could do with each other on the ice that she figured out over her years of skating with her partner, taking you both out for ice cream frequently after and telling you of her travels competing around the world, the people she’d met, and the titles she’d won— all things that were you and satoru’s ultimate dream as you listened eagerly.

by the time you were twelve and satoru was thirteen, it was obvious you guys were meant to be olympic athletes together.

“you need to pick your leg a little further up on the spin, toru.”

he stuck his tongue out. “says who.”

“says me.” you poked his cheek. “and i’m pretty sure aki told you before she left too.”

“yes ma’am!” he nodded, gliding a bit further away from you on the ice before picking his momentum up and reaching you, him bending his knees and wrapping his arms around your torso as you both went into fast spins, one leg extended for the both of you as your arms gripped over his shoulders— practicing the routine akira had given you for your upcoming competition.

“yeah like that!” you smiled, spins gradually slowing down and satoru coming back up from his bend until you both stood still on the ice. “good job toru!”

he grinned and ruffled your hair. “thanks!”

“mhm!” you responded, turning and skating away to the edge of the rink to hide the blush that was rising in your cheeks.

“what?!” he whined. “where are you going? do i stink?”

“no!” you laughed, shaking your head. “just the usual sweat and B.O.”

“aw no!” he quickly skated to the edge of the rink and out before flying for his duffel bag. “i hate being a man i hate puberty this is ridiculous—”

“i’m kidding im kidding!” you called from across the ice, cackling when he stopped and whipped his head over, glaring at you. “you’re fine toru— not stinky.”

“well you’re stinky for putting me in distress how about that?” he huffed, an eventual smile playing at his lips as he put down his duffel bag and went inside the rink again.

akira was currently on her way to compete at the olympics for her fourth gold medal in partner figure skating, you and satoru having no doubt in your minds that she was going to absolutely clear everyone else there and get it, as she’s never gotten silver or bronze or anything lower than that.

“when do we fly to see aki again?” satoru called from across the ice, gliding to and fro in figure eights. “don’t say tomorrow morning because i haven’t started packing yet heh… oops.”

you giggled. “it is tomorrow morning, dummy.”

“no!” he stopped and shoved his hands in his hair. “i haven’t even started planning my outfits! oh i was gonna take so many pictures what am i supposed to do now—”

you laughed loudly and skated back over to him, hands wrung behind your back as you looked at him cheekily. “you’re silly toru. outfits for what? literally just show up.”

“it’s not everyday we leave the country y/n!” he whined. “i wanted to sport my best and look cool, dang it.”

you playfully rolled your eyes and lifted your hand, patting his head.

“i��ll show up in pajamas and you show up in yours, and we’ll call it a day. hm?”

he grinned.

“matching? or seperate? and what color? plaid?”

“toru!”

he laughed and skated past you, nudging your shoulder with his in the process. “i’m just messing with youuu, matching obviously!”

satoru came back around, reached up and straightened the ribbons in your hair, little white bows sitting pretty as a blush rose to his cheeks when he was done.

“wanna run it three more times and call it?” he suggested. “i wanna make sure i get what you told me down before we go.”

you smiled and quickly nodded, taking satoru’s extended hand and skating together to first position.

watching akira win gold in person for the first time in your life was an experience you’ll never forget.

and she did it fucking beautifully.

with every precise move, with every articulate angle you and satoru screamed and yelled like crazy people in front of the rink while waving around your countries tiny flags, cheering with fat tears rolling down your faces when she successfully landed each time, holding each other so tight with mushed up cheeks throughout her routine with her partner and still in anxiousness when the time came for revealing final scores.

no one could skate like her. absolutely no one as she speedily glided across the ice and spun, prepped herself for the hardest most impressive turns you had ever seen in your life, and performed a quadruple axel rotation in the air all on her own— things that have always earned her the highest scores for three successive olympic years.

and four now— because when akira and her partner stepped up on that podium, you and satoru had to basically be yanked back by your mothers with the way you both tried to jump over the edge of the rink to her, her standing there like a beacon of light on the first place podium, a gold medal hung rightfully around her neck with flowers in her arms as she smiled so so big and happily, her eyes not once leaving you and satoru.

eventually when the ceremony was over, amongst all of the buzz and the crowd roaring and picture taking— akira quickly skated over to the two of you and leaned on the edge of the rink.

“akiiii!” you both wailed and flung your arms around her neck, her giggling and hugging you both back as best as she possibly could despite the mass amount of bouquets in her hands.

“did i do okay?!” she yelled over the noise.

you both pulled back and looked at her like she was insane.

“did you do okay?!” you gawked.

“aki— you won a fucking gold medal!” satoru yelled.

“HAH!” she laughed loudly. “don’t say that word in front of your mommy satoru she’ll chop my head off and kill me!”

you both giggled uncontrollably.

akira leaned her head in then and you and satoru followed through, all three foreheads resting against each others.

“listen to me for a second.“ she started. “you guys are birds of a feather, okay? you need to stick together and fly together as one.”

she let you both go and dropped the bouquets she was holding on the icy floor before placing a hand on yours and satoru’s outer cheeks, bringing you in. “don’t fight. don’t separate. don’t leave each other. you need to keep each other and what you have safe.”

you both quickly nodded, tears funnily gathering at the corners of your eyes at what she was saying, and she smiled.

“yes partner figure skating is about chemistry and technicality, but it’s about love… and sometimes just that. without genuine love, nothing will click.” she let your cheeks go and grabbed her shiny gold medal, holding it up. “this will be yours. i promise you.”

akira put down her medal, wiping both yours and satoru’s wet cheeks. “birds of a feather. stick together. keep each other safe. do you understand?”

the two of you sniffled and nodded.

“and i need to stop cussing in front of you guys during practices, don’t i?!” she smiled warmly, and you and satoru shook your heads frantically.

“no keep doing it!—”

“it’s funny please!—”

ever since akira told you that, it became you and satoru’s thing.

before and after every competition, with every hello and every goodbye at the beginning and end of the day, throughout the hours randomly whenever you both felt like it, you’d lock pinkies and reiterate ‘birds of a feather’ before kissing your thumbs and locking your promise in place— another one of the many other ways you’d show that you loved each other.

but whether it was platonically or romantically remained unknown until you both hit high school.

perhaps it had always been romantically… that you weren’t exactly sure of. but the way you and satoru had been treating each other since you were literally the age of six, made the technicalities of what it was blurry and a little confusing— for you couldn’t even remember when it was that you started loving satoru.

maybe it was that very first day when he skated over to you, wobbly and clumsy with a cheesy smile.

and as if it wasn’t already confusing enough of what the two of you were, the way you acted made it ten times worse.

but you’d been that way since forever— embracing each other a little longer than you should, innocently kissing each others cheeks and heads and hands, calling each other pet names and being each other’s dates to every single school dance—

but it was all harmless. not a single bad thought behind it and doing it like a reflex.

it was like you both were line balancing across the thinnest tight rope known to mankind— flimsy and unsteady, always on the verge of toppling over and falling completely into the darkening depths of the truth of what you were, but catching each other just before you did to regain balance back on the rope.

neither of you said it, but if you and satoru ever dared to be anything more than friends, and if something were to happen where you had to break up— you’d lose your first love, your best friend, and your entire career all in one.

the consequences were too drastic— you both knew that.

and you didn’t want to break your promise… so you acted blind to it.

by the time you were seventeen and satoru was eighteen, akira started training you for the international skating union competition to earn a spot for the olympics.

well— she actually started when you were about fourteen, but as the years progressed, her coaching and critiques got increasingly more difficult and nitpicky as well as the moves she taught you, wanting you both to build endurance to it and perfect it so that by the time you reached the age requirement for the olympics— it would be easier to train for it and be formidable competitors against the other pairs.

you and satoru wanted to be olympians more than anything else in your lives, and akira knew just how important this was for the both of you— making it her absolute mission to help accomplish solely that as she saw herself through the two of you.

your dreams were just like hers, and she respected and nurtured the fact with everything that she had.

“up! aaand up! and take her— throw— land oh shit—”

just as you had landed a semi complex throw jump, you lost balance and landed right on your ass, sliding across the ice on your side.

it was rare when you fell, and you absolutely despised when you did.

“fuck!” satoru quickly skated over to you and knelt down. “are you okay?!”

“why can’t i land that man?” you whined, covering your eyes.

akira smoothly traveled over to you both.

“it’s okay! we just learned it today sweets like— right now… you’ll have it down in the next five minutes.” satoru smiled softly, carefully helping you up on your skates and checking you over.

“don’t overly punish yourself, y/n.” akira reached and pinched your cheek. “i love that you’ve always been so serious about your technique, but you have to leave room for error my love or else you’ll choke yourself out.”

satoru ran a soothing hand along your back and you smiled cutely up at him, his heart jittering so much from it that he had to quickly retract his arm.

you nodded, always taking satoru’s and akira’s words seriously like inscriptions to a stone wall. “okay!”

he grinned and kissed the side of your head before taking your hand and leading you to first position like always.

akira smirked.

“are you guys together yet!” she blurted from across the ice and you both choked as she skated over.

“are we— are we—” you stammered.

“what?” she breathed out, placing her hands on her hips. “are you at least in love?”

satoru’s blue eyes bulged open with a furious pink tint to both of your cheeks.

“aki!” you whined, embarrassed. “stop it—”

“have you guys at least gone on one date?”

satoru pouted. “no.”

“i’m—” you played with your fingers. “i’m going on one today—”

“you’re what?!” he whipped his head in your direction, eyebrows furrowed.

“yeah…” you looked at him. “i’ve never gone on one and some guy at school asked me so i— i just thought—”

you thought it’d do you some good, since the one you wanted you couldn’t really have.

“are you actually..?” satoru trailed off, an unfamiliar strike of something in his chest making him a little upset.

but he knew damn well what it was.

“but—” akira stared at you wide eyed, pointing at satoru. “but it’s— it’s supposed to be—”

“aki!” satoru quickly grabbed her arm and lowered it, eyes snapping to you next. “is it that one guy you told me about? from your english class?”

“uh huh.” you fidgeted. “he asked me again and i felt bad saying no so i— said yes…”

satoru swallowed, nodding.

“oh you big dummies!” akira groaned. “we’ll talk about this later or else i’m gonna go into fucking cardiac arrest from frustration—”

she skated off to the edge of the rink and out, leaning on it from the outside with her head dramatically hung.

you both got into starting position, but you faltered when you noticed satoru was oddly quiet and stiff.

“…toru?”

he blinked down at you. “huh?”

“you okay?”

“oh!— yeah.” he smiled weakly. “i’m fine baby.”

“you sure—”

“what time is your date?”

you gnawed at the inside of your cheek. “it’s a bit after this... i told him to just give me time to shower and get ready.”

“if he can’t accept you stinky then he’s not for you.” he shook his head in distaste. “he’s already failing in my eyes sweets absolutely flunking. maybe you should cancel it? yeah i say cancel it—”

you laughed, heart in your throat as your eyes gleamed up at him. “i can barely accept you stinky so i wouldn’t blame him—”

“hey!” he placed an exaggerated hand on his chest. “it’s not my fault i literally put my heart and soul out on the ice just for you to skate all over me—”

you gasped offendedly. “i don’t skate all over you—”

“do too!”

“do not!”

“do to—”

“you guys!” akira called. “you know i love it when you guys love on each other it makes me so happy and envision your wedding but right now we have to grind!”

you both froze up and snapped your heads in her direction with red faces, whining.

“aakkiii!—”

you practiced what you had of the routine a couple of more times, a few new moves and jumps added after each run until akira called it a day upon noticing you and satoru were practically sweating your asses off and messing up several times out of exhaustion.

“good job today you guys!” she smiled, patting you both on your shoulders. “i feel like the next time we meet we’ll have the choreography down... from there we just need to perfect it and you should be good for the next competish, okay?”

you both nodded and thanked her, sweet smiles on your faces as she reached up and pinched a side of both your cheeks.

“my little babies.” she cooed. “oh how you’ve grown! you guys were so little when we started now satoru is huge man jesus christ—”

she lifted her hand and reached up to measure satoru’s height from his forehead, her passing it over the top of her head and eyes widening at the huge gap.

he laughed and puffed up his chest. “i got big and strong too aki see?” he flexed an arm. “see? eh?”

“that you did!” she laughed brightly, ruffling up his hair. “the strongest.”

you giggled and skated over to the edge of the rink to pack up, internally panicking a little that you guys went overtime and it was almost time for your date.

“satoru..” akira whispered, looking over her shoulder to make sure you weren’t listening. “what’s going on? you still haven’t asked her out? i thought you said you were gonna do it.”

“no..” he mumbled. “but we can’t. and she knows that too so— so what am i supposed to do—”

she gawked. “do you not see what’s happening?! she’s gonna go on a date with someone else! off with this stupid fear you guys have already seriously.”

“we caan’tt aki.” he pushed sadly. “it’s too risky.”

“but it’s not though!” she threw her arms out. “you guys have known each other since practically birth i feel like if it wasn’t meant to be you would’ve separated by now!”

satoru gnawed at his bottom lip in thought, eyes trained to the way your bows moved in your hair as you swung your duffel bag over yourself, smiling softly once he realized you had kindly packed his things for him too as you sat on the bench and waited for him to take you home.

akira sighed.

“it’s not my place to tell you guys what to do… but love has no limits. you know that.”

he nodded, smiling weakly at her as they skated out of the rink and prepared to lock up, akira hugging you both goodbye with a family kiss to your cheeks and you separating ways with her for the day, but not before her reminding you guys of practice tomorrow and that she loved you over her shoulder.

satoru was dreading you going on your date as he drove— the both of you normally talking about random things like always but his mind unable to stray from the fact that you were actually giving some random dingbat a chance.

it was rare when either of you would talk to or date other people, never even as your heads have always been so focused on figure skating and competitions… but also on each other— taking care and loving one another that you never needed anybody else since you were everything to satoru and satoru to you, and you were both confident that absolutely no one could ever step up to that level.

so why were you going on a date?

but he shouldn’t be like this. he knew that. there was a silent agreement between the two of you to never fall off that thin tight rope and keep each other balanced. and you were allowed to see and date whoever you wanted— something that he probably should do as well to try and get over the fact that you’d never really be his.

satoru pulled up to your driveway and shifted his gear into park.

“thank you toru!” you smiled sweetly, leaning over and pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“you’re welcome.” he murmured. “can i— can i come in with you? and hang while you get ready?”

you quirked a brow. “i thought that’s what we were already doing silly.”

“okay well invite me woman!” you both got out of the car and walked up the steps to your front door. “you can’t just assume. what if i was busy? what if i also had a date? hm?”

you gave him a sly grin as you twisted in your keys to unlock the door. “do you?”

“… no.”

you giggled and pushed open the door, the both of you immediately clasping your hands over your mouths to keep your laughs in at the sight of your mother sprawled out on the couch dead asleep with drool coming out of her mouth, the tv softly playing in the background as you quietly shut the door, went up the stairs and into your room.

satoru sat on your desk chair lazily while you quickly hopped in the shower to get ready for your stupid date, staring at the framed photographs on your nightstand that all consisted of you and him over the years, smiling softly at his favorite— a picture of the two of you when you were babies, cheek to cheek with huge smiles at the park as you held ice cream cones in each of your hands, satoru more than sure akira was the one who took that picture.

the sound of your door clicking shut pulled him from his thoughts as you walked in, drying your pretty hair with your little fuzzy towel and throwing it in the hamper once you were done.

“oh! i was gonna show you! i got these ribbons the other day—” you got down on your knees and looked under your bed, sticking a hand in and pulling out a white box as you picked it up and shuffled with your knees closer to satoru— sitting back on your ankles.

“—i was running out of ribbon so i got these!” you held up the box and satoru took it, examining the various pastel colors with warm eyes. “some of them are polka dotted and i thought that was cute.”

“it is sweets!” he agreed.

satoru loved the ribbons in your hair, and you’d always wear them without fail because you knew just how much he did.

“i wanna start wearing bows too.” he wiggled his eyebrows, and you giggled.

“are you saying you wanna steal my brand toru?” you picked up a blue roll of ribbon from the box, a color that matched satoru’s eyes. “thought you were an honest man?”

he gasped. “i am an honest man! is it not obvious enough when i help you with your math homework? when i sacrifice my dignity and text you answers during your tests?”

you giggled and unrolled a strand of ribbon. “not when you eat all of my sweets that you actively dig through my room for—”

“but they’re always the strawberry gummy puffs!” he whined. “they make me a slut.”

you playfully rolled your eyes and stood, grabbing your little scissors and snipping off a piece of blue ribbon from the roll, stepping in front of satoru and leaning.

“watcha doing?” he asked, placing his hands on your waist.

“i’m putting a little bow in your hair before i leave!”

he hummed. “don’t think it’ll look as good on me as they do on you.”

you blushed, taking little pieces of white hair from the top of his head and wrapping the ribbon around, tying it the same way you’ve been doing for yourself since you were the age of nine.

you took a step back once you were finished and laughed. “you look cute toru!”

he raised a silly brow. “do i still look big and strong?”

“big and strong and pretty—”

“please don’t go.”

you stilled.

“what?”

satoru looked down, his bangs hiding his gorgeous eyes as he did.

“on your date.” he mumbled. “don’t go.”

you placed your hands softly on his shoulders, and his hold tightened a little around your waist.

“why?”

“because like i said if he doesn’t accept you stinky then he can’t have you when you smell like vanilla—”

“toru...” you spoke sternly, softly. “why not?”

you didn’t know why you were pushing it so much… maybe you were trying to see if you could get it out of him— if he had the will to actually say it unlike you…

and you hoped to god he would say it.

he slowly lifted his head and propped his chin up on your tummy, a sour expression on his face as he puckered his lips to the side like a little fish.

“dunno…” he muttered, his gaze flickering to yours and a sense of guilt swarming his chest at the uneasy look you had, his face relaxing as he sighed.

“sorry.” he smiled sheepishly, pulling back and letting go of your waist. “i’m kidding you have every right to—”

“m’not going.” you mumbled as you slid your hands away, looking down and playing with your fingers.

“huh?” he furrowed his brows. “no baby go you should go—”

“i don’t want to.”

you never did in the first place. you had foolishly thought that letting someone else in like this would be good for you and help you establish some sort of… barrier with satoru so you weren’t always suffering so fucking much.

but you were absolutely stupid for that.

all you’ve ever wanted was satoru, and doing something to pull you away from the type of relationship you had with him (whether platonic or romantic you had no freaking clue), was not only hurting you, but hurting him.

you didn’t need anyone else, truly. all you needed was satoru and his silly smile and dramatic antics— to spend time with just him and skate and eat dinner together after practices every night while watching horror movies, laughing so much over his screams that your stomach hurt while he whined about how you were making fun of him.

that’s all you needed… just satoru.

regardless if there was something more in question.

“you don’t want to?” he repeated softly. “why?”

“you know why, toru…”

you had said it so softly he barely caught it, but he did, his breath hitching in his throat.

that was the closest you two had ever gotten to acknowledging it.

you both were silent for a moment, the soft murmur of your tv downstairs filling the void as you looked at each other, tense and waiting for either of you to say something… anything.

but it was like the gravity of the foreseeable consequences settled onto your shoulders, and the pair of you could only sadly smile.

satoru stuck his pinky finger out towards you then.

“birds of a feather?” he murmured.

you breathed out a little through your nose and looped your pinky with his, nodding.

“birds of a feather.”

he kissed his thumb and you did the same before locking the promise.

for the rest of the night, you and satoru watched a bunch of shitty unknown movies to try and see who would break and laugh first— you feeling bad that you had to cancel so last minute on that guy from your english class, but not regretting it at all as you watched satoru scarf down two slices of pizza in one sitting and nearly throw up, you almost falling off the bed from laughing so much and him having to catch you midway down and pull you back up, saying that he was your hero and therefore you should give him your last stash of strawberry gummy puffs as a reward.

it was nearly two am when you and satoru finally settled down, both sprawled over each other on the bed as you stared up at the ceiling and talked about literally anything that came to your minds— stubbornly fighting off sleep for whatever unknown reason in the dark.

“you know this is aki’s last olympics right?” you spoke softly, your arm propped up as you watched the way satoru played with your fingers.

“yeah..” he replied. “i don’t really know how to feel about that.”

“me neither.” you shook your head. “but she said it came at a perfect time because she’d been wanting to retire for a while.”

and now it was yours and satoru’s turn to try and fill the legacy she had built.

he hummed, delicately interlacing your fingers together as the outline of it through the darkness made you blush and smile, the nooks between his digits blessedly made entirely just for you as your fingers slotted perfectly in each spot every time.

and satoru silently vowed for the millionth time in his life that he would always be your hero and keep you safe, a promise that was already tied into your birds of a feather contract, but needing to repeat it to himself anyways while he listened to the sound of your voice talk about your excitement for the upcoming olympics.

and my god were you excited, the both of you— looking forward to seeing akira gracefully take home her fifth fucking gold medal like she always did with no repercussions, seeing her fans and the mass amounts of support she got every year with bouquets and teddy bears and picture taking, but also looking forward to spending even more time with her— for not just practices… but for forever, even more than you already did now as you two were greedy and just loved akira.

you were looking forward to forever, the three of you.

until akira’s accident.

“oh my god i’m gonna throw up—”

satoru hurled over just as you both stepped onto the bleachers at the olympic arena, you laughing and placing supporting hands on his shoulders as you followed your mother and satoru’s to your designated place by the front.

“toru i told you you’d make yourself sick if you didn’t leave that damn dessert table alone.”

“there were cinnamon rolls baby. cinnamon rolls how on earth could i possibly just walk by a platter of cinnamon rolls—”

“okay!” you giggled, carefully leading him to sit down and ruffling his hair once you settled. “i get it! you love cinnamon rolls.”

“not as much as i love you—”

“yuck!” you stuck your tongue out and pushed him away by his cheek, him laughing loudly as he shooed your arm away and grinned.

“toru— this is the last time we’re gonna be sitting here in the bleachers watching aki.” you mentioned. “isn’t that fucking nuts?”

“now i’m gonna cry and throw up.”

“no!” you giggled and nudged his shoulder. “then you’ll make me cry.”

he smiled and leaned over to plant a quick kiss to your cheek, reaching up and fixing the bows in your hair before looking straight ahead, his sparkling blue eyes staring at the rink.

the crowd roared suddenly and a mix of big and tiny flags of several individual countries waved in the air as you and satoru jumped and screamed when akira glided out with her skates and glittery dress, a huge dazzling smile on her face as she waved at the crowd, her eyes scanning around quickly before they finally landed on you and satoru.

as if she wasn’t already smiling enough, it grew bigger at the sight of you both practically over the fucking rink calling her name, her blowing you both a kiss and connecting her hands together to form a little bird, fluttering it up funnily and making you laugh before spinning around and going to starting position with her partner.

“oh she’s gonna wipe again.” satoru breathed out. “wipe absolute buttcheeks.”

you cackled as you both watched her routine— incredibly fast paced and technical, filled with spins and throw jumps and lifts as she made it known that it was her last year and wanted to leave with a mark, you and satoru absolutely mesmerized by the choreography as a dramatic symphony of a classical piece drummed through your ears by the speakers.

each move was executed beautifully, you and satoru at the edge of your damn seats as akira’s partner lifted her by the arms to settle over his shoulders into a split formation— halfway through the routine already.

“maybe we could do a move like that for when we compete!” you suggested over the music. “i feel like technically it could—”

a hand flew over your mouth as you watched akira topple and slam to the ground upon coming down from her split lift, the spinning blade of her partner slicing through her abdomen as her head nastily collided with the ice— the crowd screaming in terror.

“oh my god!—” your chest moved frantically and you and satoru looked at each other, horrified faces as you watched the backside of her limp body on the ground surrounded by paramedics, her partner hovering over her in complete and absolute distress.

and there was so much blood.

blood that pooled all around her figure and stained her shimmering dress, blood that wouldn’t stop fucking spreading as a stretcher finally made it out on the ice.

“baby.” satoru’s voice shook. “why isn’t aki moving.”

“i— i don’t know—”

“aki!”

you both snapped out of your shocked daze and screamed over the rink and jumped, shoes slipping against the ice as the two of you tried to reach her through your panicked tears and calls, security speeding through and pulling you both back as you watched the paramedics lift her frail body onto the stretcher and away from the rink.

“that’s—” you sucked in a sharp sob. “that’s my aunt please let us go—”

“you need to stay out of the rink—”

“fuck you!”

satoru shoved security away and grabbed your arm, wishing you had your skates on as you both practically crawled over to where akira was being carried out, not giving a single shit about the way your mothers yelling demanded you back as security had to literally pull you and satoru by the ankles, further and further away from the scene and away from akira until the only thing left was her pool of sickly crimson blood in front of you, you and satoru wailing.

akira died at the hospital later that night.

the collision of her head against the ice brought such blunt force trauma that it caused irreversible brain damage, and with the amount of blood that she was already losing from the laceration of the blade— those elements combined didn’t give her a single fighting chance at survival, her fate sealed from the moment her body hit the ground.

it was completely unexpected… an incident like that had never happened in not just olympic partner figure skating, but figure skating competitions as a whole— the severity of the situation so grave that the complex move akira and her partner performed that led to her death was banned from the olympics moving forward.

and you and satoru were fucking ruined.

ruined and crying and clutching over her arms and hands at her hospital bedside, it scaringly cold and stiff and not her usual warmth at all as you couldn’t accept that this was your reality, that akira had left you both all alone after not only her initial familial love that you’d gotten since birth, but after nearly a decade of giggles and skating, her picking you both up from school and cussing up a storm because it made you and satoru laugh as kids, buying you ice cream and taking you out for beach days because she said the sun was good for your skin, harassing you and taking a million pictures of the two of you as she uttered over and over again that love had no limits— your dream of forever with her cruelly severed over the sport you all loved most.

yours and satoru’s mentor, friend, your fucking mother figure— was gone.

your aunt was gone. your own blood.

the entirety of that bullshit situation sort of settled into your minds by the time her funeral came— painfully holding back tears as your family members gave their speeches and final wishes before the lowering of her casket, you and satoru not saying a single word throughout the entire thing until it was just you and him standing in front of her grave site— your mothers waiting for you in their cars.

you both chose not to give speeches. you couldn’t.

“toru.” you sniffled, drowning in your tears as satoru strained to keep his back, lips pulled into a thin line.

“yes pretty.”

“this is so fucked.”

satoru breathed out a weak laugh and let a couple of tears slip down his cheeks, wiping them with the sleeve of his black suit as he grabbed your hand and interlaced your fingers, squeezing it.

“diabolically fucked.” he responded.

there really wasn’t much you could say at that moment in time, the two of you staring at the carvings on her tombstone as the wind softly blew over the petals of her flowers and letters, the day cloudy and cold and just fucked as you silently choked back sobs and whimpers, satoru lamely trying his best to stay strong for you— be your hero as he pulled you into his chest and squeezed you with everything that he had, nose buried in your hair as his tears fell and dampened a few strands.

“birds of a feather, toru.” you spoke softly, both of your frames shaking as the saying itself came from none other than akira.

he firmly nodded, lifting his head and kissing your cheek twice hard before looking at you.

“birds of a feather sweets.” his red teary eyes made your heart ache. “you can’t leave me too, okay?”

you scoffed and wiped your eyes, a sad smile on your face. “i could never… you know that.”

it didn’t really get easier from there, as everything in your lives reminded you of akira.

and though your mother was grieving the loss of her sister, she wanted to be left alone, and the only person that really understood the level of mourning you were on was satoru— him always there in the blink of an eye when you would call him in the middle of the night crying your eyes out while he held you, or when broken sobs wrecked through satoru’s trembling body as he cried into your chest while you held him and vice versa, endless amounts of ‘i miss her’s’ and ‘bring her back’s’ as you took turns depending on the day rolling on the floor unable to physically breathe over the loss as you tried to anchor each other back to normalcy, wondering how the world could be so cruel and continue spinning when you’d just lost half of your hearts.

but it did. it continued to spin and turn and carry on as you and satoru day by day tried to patch over what happened, be there for each other and heal each other as you graduated high school and caught up with satoru in college, still together and still in your stupid limbo of ‘is there something more’ except worse, and still inseparable three years later after akira’s passing.

it didn’t hurt any less, but the days definitely got easier… some harder than others as the time you spent with her became cherished distant memories, feeling eternally grateful for the way she raised and took care of you, for the work she had done, and for the legacy she had built for figure skating olympians around the world.

and because akira was so good and taught you both just as so, satoru and you had a little name of your own as you’ve been sweeping competitions since the age of thirteen, ninety eight percent unbeatable and competitive as other pairs always knew who you were the minute you stepped onto the ice, eager and curious to see if you would make it into the olympics when the time came just like your mentor had done.

some deemed it cheating— unfair due to the fact that you had a four-time gold medalist olympian training you since childhood, but that assumption quickly diminished after her passing when you both continued to wipe competitions and take trophies home purely based on your talent.

and you both agreed to continue your careers without a coach, a decision that didn’t even need to be thought twice over— and you were twenty and satoru twenty one when the time drew near to try for the olympics.

finally.

“my legs are gonna fall off and my balls are gonna droop to the icy floor if you don’t give me a kiss right now.”

“toru!” you giggled loudly, pushing his face away as he puckered up his lips and made obnoxious kissy noises, pulling you in by the waist. “toru focus we’re on a time crunch—”

“time crunch where?” he whined, stomping his blade down on the ice. “we’ve been at it for so long already i’m cold i’m thirsty and i think we should go to that cute christmas festival patch thing you told me aboouuttt!”

“right now?” you asked. “i don’t know toru… i had a set goal for us tonight and if we don’t get it—”

“oh you damn perfectionist.” he scowled, letting you go and quickly skating to starting position. “fine.”

you gave him a knowing smile and skated over to his dramatic sulking figure, kissing his cheek softly and wringing your arms around his neck, pulling him in.

“let’s run it three more times and then we can go to the festival, okay?”

he jumped up like a little kid, eyes hyper and wild. “really? honestly? truly?”

you nodded, gleaming up at him.

“is this a prank?”

“jesus toru you’re making me think i’m keeping you hostage here with how excited you are—”

“yiiippeeeee!—” he grabbed your upper thighs and lifted you before spinning on the ice, the both of you laughing as he roughly turned until he gradually came to a stop, big goofy smiles on your faces as he did so.

satoru loosened his hold as you slowly slid down against his body, faces close and lovesick as his half lidded eyes looked at you, lips stinging to plant directly over yours after so many years of hopeless pining and avoidance, still refusing to acknowledge the situation, but it glaringly obvious at this point.

“what?” you whispered, your eyes fixed on his lips as your blades touched the ice again.

he softly shook his head, blue eyes greedily drinking in your pretty face as he retracted a hand from your waist and brushed his palm over your hair adoringly, hand raising to cup your cheek gently.

was he about to…?

you swallowed, hands gripping his black t-shirt as you waited… anxious, hoping that he would do what you thought he was about to do.

but satoru squeezed his eyes shut in a grimace and quickly kissed the corner of your mouth before turning his back to you and skating to starting position— leaving you incredibly dumbfounded and disappointed.

satoru’s skin felt like it was on fucking fire as he looked at your stunning doe eyes blinking at him from across the rink, heart pulsing uncontrollably as you slowly skated to him and got into position, neither of you uttering a word about it as you ran the choreography three more times like you had agreed on.

you and satoru have had plenty of moments like that… but lately?

it’s been borderline dangerous with how close you’ve gotten to breaking your unspoken rule.

by the end of practice you and satoru excitedly packed up for the christmas festival, more or less stumbling out of the doors of the rink and locking up before throwing your things in satoru’s car and speeding off to the main plaza, cheesy dorky smiles on your faces as you babbled on about all of the things you were gonna do once you got there.

“the s’mores stand! the s’mores stand!” satoru whipped his head comically back and forth between you and the snowy road. “we have to go there and get five nothing less and maybe more—”

“wait! i wanna get some of that hot chocolate we got last year!” you quickly reached and gripped his shoulder. “the one with the chocolate bits in it! and the whipped cream! and the drizzle—”

“oh fuck yeah how could i forget?” satoru made a turn, the shining glimmering lights of the festival and christmas trees coming into view and riling you both up in pure exhilaration. “i gulped down like four cups of those and then threw up in a bush.”

you laughed loudly and shook your head. “i forgot about thaaaattt! toru you always shove shit in your mouth and throw up we have got to work on that—”

“no we don’t!” he cheesed, reaching over and patting over your hair— the smooth ribbon of your thin bows sliding underneath his palm. “i love sweets even if they hurt me. what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. where there is no struggle there is no strength—”

“the only strength i see is a man hunched over puking his guts out.”

“hey!” he pouted, pulling into the lot before parking and turning off the ignition, the both of you hopping out of the car and locking it as you walked towards the main entrance. “and i’ll do it again so what.”

you giggled and interlocked your fingers with satoru’s. “silly silly.”

the festival was lively— huge decorated christmas trees everywhere you went as twinkling fairy lights adorned every corner and direction of the lots premises, several open stands that continuously wafted chocolate and cinnamon and vanilla throughout the entire night that had satoru practically floating through the air following the scent, kids giggling and running around as the soft familiar tunes of christmas music hummed in the background.

“what do you want for christmas, sweets?” satoru asked while chowing down a giant s’more.

“a kiss!” you quipped, giving him a cute silly look as you blew a bit of air over your steaming hot chocolate.

he stopped chewing.

“really?” satoru spoke with his mouthful. “i can literally give that to you right now c’mere—”

“no toru!” your cheeks buzzed a vibrant pink, completely flustered. “you’re supposed to say a big fat no!”

“now why the fuck would i do that...” he grumbled, shoulders slumping from disappointment as he took another big bite of his dessert.

you giggled, looking at him apologetically before standing on your tippy toes and licking a bit of melted chocolate from the corner of his mouth.

and he blinked at you, dumb and still as his cheeks copied the same exact shade as yours.

my god.

you were about to turn him into a freak.

“okay now you have to kiss me.”

“why?!” you laughed. “you had chocolate on your face! i was helping you out.”

“yeah right you little minx.” he scarfed down the last bit of his s’more and threw his little paper tray in the trash can behind him, putting his hands together and shaking off excess crumbs. “that’s actually the most torturous thing you have ever done to me.”

“dramatic!” you exclaimed, laughs escaping you and increasing as you watched satoru’s flustered face pout and glare at you.

you breathed in deeply and settled down, standing up straight as you took a tiny sip of your hot chocolate and smiled. “now i feel bad.”

“you should.”

“can you forgive me?”

“not unless you kiss me.”

“toru!”

“what?!” he pushed. “baby it’s only fair! really! just once and that’s it. a harmless peck nothing more we aren’t doing anything crazier.”

you gnawed at your bottom lip in thought.

technically he was right… it was just one little peck, entirely harmless and cute and wouldn’t have you both falling off of that thin tight rope you guys were still balancing off of.

this would only shake it a little… but then you’d be fine! right?

you were too far gone in the considerations of his proposal as you looked at his absolutely breathtaking blue eyes and face, somehow looking even more angelic as his pinky cold cheeks and nose and scarf covered neck did nothing but make you fall deeper in love with him than you already were.

how someone could look as good as satoru was beyond you.

“just—” you peered up at him. “just one peck okay?”

his eyes widened.

holy shit.

“yes!” he breathed out. “yes yes just one.”

“toru.” you spoke sternly. “i’m serious.”

he frantically nodded, arms already snaking around your waist and bringing you in.

you both couldn’t believe it.

you were about to have your very first kiss.

the two of you leaned in then— softly, timidly, afraid as satoru’s chocolate breath fanned against your nostrils and filled your lungs, lips coming closer and closer until they met in a simple, solid, tiny harmless peck.

satoru felt like his veins were about to pop and explode at the feeling of your delicate soft lips finally on his, the feeling actually fucking unreal as his fingertips went numb and his body tingled all over.

but it quickly became clear that it was not just one harmless peck.

because when it was supposed to be the time for you both to pull away, you and satoru only opened your mouths and kissed deeper— eyelids blissfully closed as your lips smacked so slowly and tenderly, the two of you actively relishing in the moment and just drinking each other’s mouths in as they moved and shifted, deep breaths through your noses as you daze-fully made out with the faint fuzzy sound of jingle bells and christmas music growing increasingly distant.

you tasted so sweet. just like he’d imagined.

but the moment came to and end when you both snapped your eyelids open in realization and released lips, pupils frantic and wide as you searched each other’s eyes for any sign of anger since you both had slipped up and did way more than just a peck.

but there was nothing. obviously there was nothing like that as your shoulders relaxed simultaneously and bashful smiles crossed your faces.

“you taste like chocolate.” he grinned.

you bit your bottom lip in a smile. “so do you.”

“twins.”

“uh huh.”

“i love you.”

you stilled.

you’ve told each other that thousands of times for years, since childhood.

you’ve always said you loved each other and have both known it was laced with those unspoken feelings you had, and you accepted that for as long as you could remember.

but somehow… in someway… it just felt different this time around. profound. more serious.

“i love you.” you responded.

satoru smiled softly and leaned his forehead against yours, basking in each others authentic infatuation for a moment before pulling away.

“can i get another s’more—”

“no!”

satoru ended up getting his second s’more, and you surprisingly ended up partaking in satoru activities and downed three fucking cups of that hot chocolate you loved so much, your tummy full and about to literally burst, but not really giving a shit as you and him were having so much freaking fun— buying little christmas trinkets from the santa shop and building tiny snowmen in the snowy play area filled with a bunch of kids (satoru literally making a tiny dick for one of the snowman and you immediately destroying it and wacking him), even skating in the rink but purely just for enjoyment and not a single thought of what you do professionally crossing your minds.

you stayed there until it was nearly closing time, money absolutely spent from all the things you bought, but your souls happy and warm as you happily walked to the car so satoru could take you home.

on the drive there, you showcased all of the trinkets you both had bought, a particular one catching your eye that you remembered you hadn’t shown satoru yet.

“oh! i got this one—” you dug your hand in the white plastic bag and pulled out a little snow angel, beautiful and glossy as the angels face blushed and smiled. “at the santa shop!”

“it’s cute baby!” he smiled. “for you?”

you shook your head. “i got it for aki. for the next time we visit her.”

his heart softened, nodding.

you and satoru tried your best to visit her grave as often as you possibly could, sometimes nearing four times a week to pay your respects and chat with her for a little while, filling her in a bit on your lives to bring back the feeling of what it was like to just talk to her in any way you could, like you had the fortune of doing once before.

“it kinda looks like her.. doesn’t it?” he questioned, pointing to the figure.

“it does right!” you expressed. “that’s why i got it… it reminded me of her.”

“she’ll love it.” he grinned, gently running the pad of his finger against your cold cheek before turning his attention back to the road.

you and satoru didn’t mention the kiss again as you were funnily still in shock over it, but the butterflies in your stomachs and the sole memory of it did more than enough as you climbed into bed with an already snoring satoru, him sleeping over for the night (when was he not) as you nudged your way under his arm and cuddled yourself in his chest, his slumbered state pulling you in like muscle memory.

you both only had two more practices left before the international skating union competition. once there, you and satoru had to land a spot in the top three chosen by the national olympic committee to earn an official spot in competing for the olympics, a task that was already vigorous and exhausting and nerve wracking, but one you both were more than ready for.

general admittance to competing in the olympics was essentially fourteen years in the making, one that wouldn’t have been possible in the first place if it wasn’t for akira.

“i think we should add a spin to this lasso lift.” you suggested, you and satoru taking a break from running the routine and standing by the bleachers during practice— watching a recently recorded take of your choreography to point out mistakes that flew under your radars.

“a spin?” he asked. “how sweets.”

“so when you lasso me around into the lift—” you rewinded the video and pointed. “since you’re holding me up over your head and we’re balancing with our hands, i say you maybe push me up to kind of like— propel me to do a triple rotation spin back down.”

“and then from there i catch you?”

“yeah!” you nodded. “and we’re traveling across the ice.”

satoru pursed his lips. “that’s kind of hard… you sure?”

“we’ve done worse toru.” you laughed. “i feel like this would give us more points.”

“oh it definitely would.” he nodded. “okay baby.”

“yay!” you cheered. “let’s practice the lift and propel on the mats first because if not i’m gonna eat shit.”

satoru laughed and sat down on the bleachers with you, quickly taking off his skates before standing and kneeling in front of you, untying your laces and slipping your skates off for you as you cutely smiled, him feeling like your little hero and knight in shining armor even if it was for something so minuscule.

he loved doing things for you.

in the middle of you and satoru practicing the move on the mats, your mother came in through the front doors of the ice rink.

“hi!” she greeted, holding up two wide rectangular boxes. “your costumes came in!”

“oh thank god!” you breathed out, satoru setting you down on your feet before you both ran to see. “i thought they weren’t gonna come in on time!”

“are they cool?!” satoru tumbled out. “do they scream please let me in the olympics?!”

you snorted and shoved his shoulder playfully as you unwrapped your boxes, your eyes shining in delight at the sight of your rhinestoned pale baby blue dress, a shade you purposefully picked out as it matched the color of satoru’s eyes— you lifting it with your fingertips from the box and gushing.

you turned it around and held it up against your frame as satoru pulled his top out— a white, tight long sleeved low cut v-neck button up that you already knew was gonna hug his yummy biceps so good, the thought of it making you bite the inside of your cheek as he checked over his black slacks.

your mother clasped her hands together, holding it to her mouth as her eyes gleamed over the two of you.

“i can’t believe it’s happening now.” she spoke softly, you and satoru diverting your attention to her and smiling. “for so long it was always just a distant thing you know? but now it’s here. actually.”

“fuck i know right.” you responded.

“language, y/n.”

“but i’m twenty!” you whined, pouting as satoru snickered behind you.

your mother rolled her eyes and cupped yours and satoru’s chins under her hands.

“good luck next week, alright? i know you guys will sweep.” she pushed. “make aki proud.”

the smiles on your faces grew, nodding as she squeezed your chins and released.

“oh! satoru—” your mother picked up her jacket and swung her purse over her shoulder. “your mom won’t be home for the night her trip got extended until tomorrow… you can sleep over at our house if you want so you’re not over there alone? or y/n can stay with you?”

“oh okay!” he spoke kindly. “thank you for letting me know!”

she smiled and nodded, hugging you both goodbye before leaving the rink.

your head whipped in his direction.

“toru if i sleep over at your house we can watch horror movies and actually scream as loud as we want without worrying about waking anybody up.”

his eyes bulged open. “oh my god you’re right! dibs i get to choose—”

“fuck!—”

by the end of practice you and satoru mastered the addition you added into the lasso lift, performing it beautifully on the ice over and over again until it was like simple reflex, calling it a day after a while and packing your things up to drive to satoru’s house.

you both took turns stepping in the shower to get rid of the sticky sweat that lingered on your skin, changing into comfy pajamas after as you tiredly settled in satoru’s big comfy bed— him flicking through his selection of horror movies and debating which one to pick.

“do you wanna watch something gory or just horror.”

“gory!” you perked up. “i need to work on not being so queasy.”

“but you seem fine when i throw up?”

“that’s because i’m used to it.” you laughed, head resting on his shoulder as he picked a movie and threw his remote somewhere across the bed, his arm coming to wrap around your tummy and pull you in.

it wasn’t like the selection mattered anyways, because fifteen minutes into the movie you were already falling asleep, hand resting on satoru’s torso as he continued to watch it— for some reason still wide awake even after skating for hours.

your sleepy sudden movements from your hand made him weirdly stiffen and relax every single time, your brows furrowing at the feeling and eyes fluttering open when he wouldn’t stop doing it.

“toru… are you still ticklish?” you mumbled sleepily.

he stiffened again.

“no.” he answered softly. “why..?”

you lazily grinned.

“youuu suureee?”

terror struck him as he sensed exactly what the fuck you were about to do.

“please spare me please spare me—”

you jumped on him and tickled his entire upper body, satoru laughing and gasping as he smacked your hands away and twisted and turned, his strong grip making it hard for you to tickle him at one point as you stubbornly swung a leg over his waist and settled over his lap, attacking him while he yelped and screamed.

“baby!” he gasped. “baby please! have some mercy is this how much i mean to you?!”

you giggled and finally stopped, hands retracting as you settled them on your hips. “that’s what you get for lying to me.”

“i was lying for my safety.”

“uh huh.”

you both grinned, satoru’s eyes occasionally flickering down to you straddling his lap with your pretty plushy thighs and blushing, trying to keep his gaze on yours to refrain himself from doing something a little too mental and weird.

but it was too fucking late, because it took no time at all for the blood to rush to his pathetic dick and harden.

surprisingly though, you were the one that was mental— the feeling of his cock against your clit undeniable as the uncomfortable shifts of satoru’s waist only stimulated it against your little nub and made you bite down hard on your bottom lip, shaky breaths leaving your mouth as it was getting harder and harder for you to restrain yourself from satoru’s godlike existence.

and your body was just not listening as you timidly rolled your hips over his crotch— your short shorts criminally thin as you felt just how big satoru’s length was, mouth watering as your palms timidly settled over his chest for stability, grinding on his cock harder.

satoru’s eyes were blown out as he watched you do something so— so lewd, his mind wandering if you were fully and properly there as something like this was absolutely breaking your unspoken rule, and you were more strict about it than he was.

but he didn’t want you to stop. god no.

at this point, you and satoru were off that metaphorical tight rope and hanging on by two hands— having both failed at keeping each other balanced as you rolled and rolled your hips deliciously on his dick, his chest quickly rising and falling at the feeling of your warm pussy over his groin and at the sight of you using him to get yourself off.

your little needy mewls made his hands tremble as he threw his head back on the pillow, eyes pathetically fucked out over something so simple.

“fuck me..” satoru groaned, hands coming up to rub over his face as his hips lifted to meet your grinding.

him doing that broke you out of your haze and you stiffened, satoru taking his hands away from his face with pinched brows at the sudden halt.

what happened?

“okay!” you laughed nervously, an alarmed expression as you swung your leg off of his lap and scrambled under the covers, pulling it completely over you as you shamefully looked anywhere and everywhere but satoru.

but he was out of it.

undoubtedly out of it now that you did what you did… wanting more, wanting all of you as he snatched the covers off of your frame and you squeaking as a result.

“why’d you stop.” he whispered, thumb raising to trace your bottom lip.

“i don’t— i don’t know what you’re talking about—”

“yes you do—”

“absolutely not—”

“i want you.” he cut you off. “i want you bad and i know you want me too so let’s just— let’s just do this once, okay? once please just to see what it’s like and it’ll never happen again.”

your eyes remained wide as you looked at his desperate frantic ones, his hands already kneading at your waist and thighs.

he was entrancing you into his proposal again, exactly the same way as when you both kissed for the first time at the festival as he leaned down and nibbled at your jaw, slotting himself in between your legs.

“do— do what?”

“fuck.” he mumbled, rolling his hips down on your pussy rough and you gasping at the sensation of his big cock against your clit again.

you whimpered as he rutted into you, hands flying to squeeze his biceps as his wet mouth moved down to your neck, licking and gnawing as he waited for your response.

“but isn’t that—” you stifled a moan. “isn’t that too far toru?—”

“please baby please.” he picked his head up and looked at you. “just once i swear once so we see what it’s like and get it out of our systems and never do it again. i promise.”

he needs to kiss you right fucking now.

your eyes fluttered closed as he continued to hump you, licking your lips as you weakly tried to look into his eyes.

“you swear?” you breathed out. “swear it just once and that’s it—”

“i swear i swear i swear—”

“okay then fuck me toru please—”

satoru nearly cried as he ripped himself away from you to frantically pull off his shirt and pants, him slapping your hands away when you tried to take off your own clothes as he wanted to do it himself— lifting your shirt over your head and downright tearing your shorts in half as he flung them down and across the room, your little pink bra and panties set actually turning him into a complete mess as he hovered back over you and shoved his tongue in your mouth.

you still tasted just as sweet as he remembered.

“been dreaming of—” mmpf— “kissing you since you let me, sweets.”

“yeah?” your lips moved sloppily with his as you snuck a hand in your panties and dipped your fingers in your pussy, collecting your arousal. “you missed me toru?”

“uh huh.” he breathed hotly against your lips, hand coming to slide underneath your bra to cup your bare tit. “every fucking night i’d jerk my dick dry thinking about it.”

his words made your clit twitch as you pushed him off your lips.

“open your mouth.”

satoru did as told without a peep and opened it with his tongue out, your hands coming out from your panties as you reached up and slipped your fingers in his mouth, his lips closing in and sucking everything you had to give him as he salvaged up your arousal.

“fuck—” he released your fingers. “is this from your pussy baby?”

“mhm.” you moaned.

your arousal was even sweeter.

“my god—” he grabbed your wrist and licked a long stripe up your palm. “you dirty fucking thing m’gonna have to taste for myself and see.”

you gasped. “what?”

satoru sat up and pulled your wet panties down your legs, biting down on his tongue hard at the sight of your angelic bare cunt before him, slick and shiny and pretty as you unclasped your bra and spread your legs for him— eager and ready and not a single other thought in your brain besides the one that was screaming for satoru to stick his dick inside you.

“toruuuu!” you whined. “quit staring and fuck me.”

his cock pulsed.

“patience sweets, i wanna taste you first.”

you expected satoru to just lower himself down and shove his head in between your thighs, but you were dead fucking wrong as he stood, grabbed your waist and yanked you high up, sitting you on his shoulders as you squealed and gripped his hair.

“wait toru isn’t this uncomfortable i—”

he scoffed. “fuck no. i’ve been lifting you my whole life baby this is nothing.”

your speech lodged itself in your throat as you felt his tongue lap at your folds and clit, slobbering and filthy as he ate and scarfed you down just like his usual daily sweets, you by far his absolute favorite as he slurped your little pussy up and made you squeal and moan.

satoru walked over to the wall and leaned you up against it, taking your thighs off of his shoulders and placing his hands underneath as he propped you up and spread your legs wider, your jaw dropping at his slimy tongue flicking and him slabbering his mouth side to side rapidly until your legs shook and you saw stars.

“toru—”

he grunted, tongue prodding at your hole and you jumping.

“i think— i think i’m gonna cum and i—” pant “i don’t wanna—”

satoru separated his mouth from your pussy with a squelch and looked up, smiling big.

“too bad!”

“but—”

he spit on your cunt and you gasped.

“i said too bad.”

he dipped back in and fully devoured you as you mewled, messier as he slushed his tongue all over and you’d never experienced something like this, something that felt so fucking good as you started cumming all over his face in record speed regardless of how hard you were trying to hold back.

“yummy.”

he let go and you dropped down as he quickly caught you, turning and throwing you on his bed as he climbed over you— wrapping a hand around his cock and jerking as he kissed and swallowed your lips up again.

“you want me to make love to you or fuck you?” he slopped against your mouth before pulling back, yours and his eyes fluttering open to look at each other.

your legs were still shaking by the eat out he gave you seconds before, finding it hard to get your words together as his handsome deluded face stared at you.

“i— um—”

he placed his lips next to your ear.

“you want me to fuck you like my wife or fuck you like a little slut? or both?”

“both toru please—”

he grinned, coming back up as he parted your legs further open and lined his leaky tip with your hole.

“i can do both!”

satoru pushed himself in and you choked, hands clasping over your mouth as you felt him bully his big cock through and leave you a blabbering crying mess under him— his chest heaving at the warmth and softness and stickiness of your cute gummy walls, his years of imagining and theorizing how you’d feel wrapped around his dick all completely debunking themselves at the real feeling as you whimpered and clenched your hole.

“jesus christ—” he shivered, swallowing thickly as his trembling fingers settled on your waist, him slowly reeling his hips back before pumping in. “you’re— you’re warm.”

you dropped your hands and wiped your cheeks as you hiccuped, the feeling of his dick sliding in and out of your walls incandescently euphoric as you embarrassingly already felt yourself wanting to cum again when he had just stuck his dick inside of you— you wanting to ride out this moment for a bit longer and not finish so quickly like you had done on his mouth.

“am i being too mean pretty?” he huffed, thrusts now quick and curt as he gripped your bouncing tits and pinched your perking nipples, the sight of your little tears shamefully turning him on.

you frantically shook your head and tried to clear your brain. “n—no!—”

“good.” he smiled, a little crazed as he let go of your boobs, placed his hands on the backside of your thighs and pushed your knees up to your chest, picking up speed as you squealed and whimpered, utterly taken aback by how rough satoru was being considering the fact that he was such a goofy and kind and loving person on the daily.

oh… what years worth of pent up sexual frustration can do to a man.

satoru whined as you milked his dick, wheezing as he hammered his hips up and slapped against your skin, your body jolting and bouncing uncontrollably as his bed squeaked loud and obnoxiously.

thank god his mother wasn’t home.

“i’ve wanted this i’ve wanted this i’ve wanted this—” satoru babbled, his critical thinking out the fucking window as he just tumbled out totally random but honest confessions as your ears eagerly drank up every word and made your hole tighten.

“yeah?” pant “f—for how long baby?”

“for so long—” he whined loudly, fucking you faster as your mouth hung open and you gripped his wrists for support. “you’re everything i’ve ever w—wanted—”

“i— i’ve only ever wanted you toru— fuck! you’re big.“ you moaned, loving the way a huge deranged smile spread across his face as his hips pistoned into you and his hands pinned you down.

“cum on my dick baby please cum on my dick i want it i want it—”

your toes curled and you squealed, vision flashing white as you let out a high pitched scream at the intense buzzing feeling, your bodies hot and sticky and wet as satoru leaned over and shoved his lips in your ear.

“can i— can i cum inside?” he choked through gritted teeth as he came close to spilling his seed. “please i wanna cum inside—”

“but m’not on the pill—”

“please please baby i beg you—” hah! “i don’t wanna cum anywhere else—”

your eyes fluttered shut at his words and you quickly nodded, his hand cupping your face as he thrusted in one last time and pumped his cum entirely inside you without an ounce of hesitation for the consequences, his horny mind actually crazed and solidifying that there was no fucking way in hell he was gonna accept just friends from this point forward.

what a stupid thought.

“mmm…” you slowly moved your hips a little, feeling his cum all inside your ravished walls as you licked your lips. “your cum feels hot toru.”

not even warm, hot as it slushed and moved inside you with every movement you made, some of it dribbling and coating your outer folds as you bit your bottom lip into a smile and craned your head up to his neck, nibbling and giving satoru tiny kitten licks as he trembled and struggled to stay afloat and not give out his upper arm strength— trying to prevent himself from squishing you.

satoru pressed a soft tender kiss to your cheek then before sitting up and delicately sliding his dick out, running a soothing hand over your tummy as he did so and giving you a lazy smile.

he suddenly raised his pinky to you.

“birds of a feather?” he murmured, other hand running from your stomach over to your thighs now as he just lovingly felt you up, you smiling with rosy cheeks as you linked your little pinky with his.

“birds of a feather.”

you both kissed your thumbs and locked your promise, deciding then that you should probably shower once more before getting into bed to officially sleep— but deciding to shower together as you softly and steamily made out under the misty hot running water, body and mind relaxed as you just swallowed in the ambience of each other, you both not only holding on to your metaphorical tight rope with one hand now, but it actually on the verge of snapping as a whole and sending you both free falling.

and for the next couple of days, you and satoru were feral.

years and years of doing fucking nothing with pure restraint and fantasizing did a number on you both as any chance you got you were making out on your bed, his bed, and even in satoru’s car after your lectures— your hand teasingly going lower and lower until you’d shove a hand in his pants to pull his dick out and pump, your body leaning across the console and mouth going down to bob and suck as he moaned and pulled your hair into a makeshift ponytail to guide you and your pretty bows and fuck your mouth just to hear the sounds of you choking, eyes from time to time frantically looking around to see if no one was around as you blowed him.

and you did that basically all of the time for the next three days until the final practice just before the international skating union competition, satoru physically unable to leave you alone and unscathed as he constantly pinned you down to eat your pussy or suckle on your soft tits, his hand tightly clasped over your mouth in your room when your moans would get too loud as he fingered you, his long fingers squelching and abusing your cunt until you were finishing all over his hands again and again.

but you two having actual sex didn’t happen again apart from that night— satoru a man of his word since he promised you would only do it once… unfortunately. but that didn’t mean you couldn’t do other things, right?

except by the final practice, satoru was absolutely fucked off at the fact that neither of you had brought up the potentiality of being more than just friends, especially after doing all of those lewd acts.

he was so sick of it.

and so were you, quite frankly, but instead of being completely over it like satoru, you were afraid… afraid of what could happen and the possibility of losing him if you both indulged, if you let yourselves put your freaking careers on the line.

and satoru was the one person you couldn’t bear to lose. not ever.

“we look good sweets!” satoru cheesed, rotating around in the ice rinks dressing room mirrors as you had your costumes on for dress rehearsal and refinements, both of you glittering and shiny and looking like a professional ice skating pair as you examined yourself, readjusting your straps and hugging your torso.

“cold.” you shivered. “maybe i should’ve had it as a long sleeve… shit.”

he laughed and placed his hands on your arms, rubbing up and down quickly to create frictional heat as you smiled at him gratefully. “nah, it’s cute like this! you’ll warm up once we run it a few times on the ice.”

you nodded, the both of you walking out of the dressing room and to the rink, skillfully putting on your skates before pushing yourself on the ice and gliding across.

“can you show me the uh—” satoru looked to the side in thought once he was on the ice in front of you. “the part where we skate in unison and have our arms up in an L? it’s in the chorus of our music—”

“oh!” you nodded and skated a bit away from him to demonstrate.

“i just wanna see if my form matches yours and we look clean.” he smiled. “and then show me the triple axel after that.”

you gave him a cute thumbs up and pushed yourself off, gliding gracefully and smoothly across the ice as satoru was supposed to be watching you to try and fix his form, but finding himself transfixed once again by the way you seamlessly skated with no sense of struggling effort— arms poised and flowy as your dress moved and fluttered with every twist and turn until you gradually propelled yourself up into the triple axel and landed correctly without a slip or wobble.

the level of difficulty and technicality you skated reminded him of akira— but your style, your movement, and the way you carried yourself was entirely your own.

you made figure skating look beautiful.

you were beautiful.

you slowed down on the ice and skated over to satoru.

“were you able to see? did you match me?—”

“you skate just like her.” satoru spoke softly, and you faltered.

he didn’t need to clarify who he was talking about, as you always knew.

“you’re just saying that.” you pursed your lips to keep yourself from smiling, or crying, you didn’t know.

but a compliment like that meant the absolute world to you.

“i’m not.” he shrugged, skating over to you and taking your hands as he glided with you to starting position. “you always have baby. and i know that’s what you’ve always wanted. i’m sorry i don’t say it enough.”

your eyes softened. “toru that’s not something to be sorry about at all…”

satoru was so kind.

you both skated together and ran the choreography a couple of times, spinning simultaneously and satoru lifting you again and again throughout the routine and still performing your lasso spinning lift successfully, arms around his shoulders and faces close as the wind whipped through both of your costumes and hair from traveling across the ice at such a speed before coming to a sudden choreographed halt at the end of your number.

you had slid down satoru’s body to plant your blades back on the ice when he had enough.

“please stick your tongue in my mouth.”

you choked on your spit and slapped a hand over your mouth.

“toru no! absolutely not we can’t anymore okay—”

“what are we.”

you froze.

“huh?”

“what are we.” he repeated, eyes dead locked on yours and hard. “are we together? are we not? are we friends? what are we—”

“we’re— we’re friends toru—”

“oh fuck no.” he let you go and created a little bit of space between you. “don’t give me that shit we’re not friends.”

“w—well we can’t—”

“i’m your man.” he stated firmly. “i’m your man i’ve been your man for years and i’m tired of avoiding this sweets! it sucks!”

“we’re putting everything at risk if we do toru we can’t!”

“i’m your man.”

“no you’re not—”

he cut you off. “your mouth has been on my dick. we’ve had sex. we’ve kissed we’ve made out we’ve told each other i love you if that doesn’t tell you that we’re together then what the actual fuck?!”

“oh my god toru i know i know!” you groaned, hugging yourself as you anxiously looked at him. “what happens if we break up? huh? what do we do?”

he shook his head. “we won’t.”

“you don’t know that.” you laughed bitterly. “if that happens we lose each other satoru understand that. we break birds of a feather, we ruin our careers, and we ruin us.”

“first of all—” he started. “our birds of a feather promise is to stick together, keep each other safe, and not seperate or fight, is it not?”

“it— it is—”

“so do you really think if we continue to keep each other in this fuck ass limbo of friends that we aren’t already breaking that?” he threw his arms out in emphasis. “we have never been just friends. i’ve known you for fourteen fucking years and we have never been just that.”

you blinked back tears.

“i promise you baby—” he slid closer to you and cupped your cheeks. “that we won’t leave each other. i will fight and try every single damn day to make sure that that shit never happens even though i already know it won’t because you’ve been made for me since birth and we haven’t separated since we’ve met.”

satoru wiped your cheeks. “but i also promise you, that if we continue as just friends, we will break. we’re gonna string each other along so fucking much that we’re gonna go absolutely insane and drive each other away. that is for certain.”

“but— skating—”

“i don’t give an ever living fuck.” he spat funnily and you laughed through your tears. “skating is nothing without you. all the trophies and medallions and the god damn olympics itself with that gold medal is nothing without you. i would give that shit up in a heartbeat if it meant keeping you in my life in exchange.”

“and i would do the same for you toru!” you sobbed, his arms immediately wrapping around your shoulders and pulling you in as you sniffled and hiccuped into his chest, him kissing the side of your head repeatedly and soothing a hand down your back.

“don’t cry pretty i didn’t meant to make you cry...” he mumbled, cheek mushed up against your head as your shoulders shook, a huge disgusting pit of guilt in his stomach. “fine it’s okay we can be just friends for a bit longer please don’t cry—”

“no!” you sputtered, pushing him back a little to face him. “i don’t wanna be just friends anymore either toru… it hurts me so much.”

“it does?” he asked softly and you nodded.

“it hurts me too.”

satoru wiped your remaining tears again and fixed the little bows in your hair, a soft liberated smile on his face as he reached down to cup your cheeks and bring your perfect lips to his, kissing you lovingly as the both of you felt like you could finally rest and stop ridiculously hiding your love in the shadows after so many years.

the thin tight rope that you had both been toppling over and rebalancing and holding onto to keep the other from falling, had finally snapped in two, and you and satoru were now in the darkest depths of the truth of what you both were.

except it wasn’t dark at all.

it was light and airy and heavenly, and you wondered why you had been so afraid when there was nothing to be afraid of in the first place, since the one you were falling with was satoru.

silly.

he pulled apart and looked at you, his striking blue eyes and white fluffy hair especially beautiful.

“tomorrow—” he began. “we’re gonna absolutely destroy everyone else there and land a spot in the top three, and then after i’m gonna take you out on a nice dinner and buy every single fucking dessert off the menu, and then i’m gonna ask you to be my girlfriend. okay baby?”

you giggled then, the brightest rosy cheeks on display from the both of you as you eagerly nodded and threw your arms around his neck.

and tomorrow could not come soon enough, because not only were you looking forward to making your dreams a reality and competing against other figure skating pairs from around the world and the olympics itself, but also the thought of officially being satoru’s after years of wishing on little stars and day dreaming about what that would be like for hours on end.

until the moment was here. happening.

the indoor arena was electric and rowdy the minute the competition commenced, you and satoru in absolute awe of the energetic atmosphere as many individuals in the crowd waved their banners or screamed their loved ones names, an ambience very similar to the olympics as you both watched pair after pair perform their hardwork and dedication on the ice, goosebumps on your skin as you fidgeted and jittered.

out of twenty of your countries competing pairs, only three of you would be chosen for the olympics.

and you hoped to god you and satoru would be chosen.

“we’re almost up baby.” satoru patted your head, sitting on a bench in your designated area. “i think it’s two more pairs then it’s us.”

you nodded, nerves closing up your throat as your eyes darted over the rink.

satoru frowned.

“hey.” he placed a hand on your thigh, suddenly wanting to rip your nylon tights off so you could actually feel his skin on yours. “you nervous sweets?”

you nodded again, and he gave you a silly grin.

“don’t be! you’re literally akira the second. we’ll be fine!”

you laughed lightly and leaned your head on his shoulder.

“and even if we don’t land a spot, that’s fine too.” he kissed your head. “it’s our first year anyways… we’ll know the game for next time and we’ll try harder.”

you picked your head up and smiled at him, his words settling your nerves just as soon as the last remaining pair took their places on stage, yours and satoru’s turn right after.

what you didn’t know, was that satoru was just as nervous as you.

but he knew you needed a rock and someone to comfort you— wanting to swoop in like a little hero and save you again… so he kept it hidden.

“fuck i almost forgot!” satoru jumped up and dug into his duffel bag, pulling out a roll of pale baby blue ribbon that matched your dress exactly. “you told me you didn’t have ribbon that matched your costume so i went and tried to look.”

he held it out for you cutely on his palm.

“does this one match?”

you picked up the roll, astonished and mushy inside that satoru actually went out of his way to find this specific ribbon color for you because you had expressed how unhappy you were with the darker shade you had, your eyes looking up at him in complete adoration.

“oh my goodness— thank you toru!”

you quickly undid the bows in your hair and slipped off the former ribbon, digging through your duffel bag for scissors and cutting off pieces from the new ribbon before looping them through your hair and tying, not needing a mirror since you’ve done it for as long as you could remember.

satoru’s cheeks went pink as he looked at your new pretty bows.

“does they look okay?”

“beautiful.” he responded, pecking your lips before taking your hand and leading you to the entrance of the rink.

“okay—” you breathed out. “this is it.”

“what kind of food do you think they’ll have at the dinner place we picked—”

“toru!” you giggled. “not now!”

he smiled sheepishly at you before leaning his forehead against yours.

you stuck your pinky out.

“birds of a feather?”

satoru grinned and looped his pinky with yours.

“birds of a feather baby.”

you both kissed your thumbs and once again, locked your promise.

the announcer over the speakers iterated your names and your country as you and satoru glided across the ice poised and graceful with your arms up, waving at the crowd and giving your mothers a special frantic wave before moving to starting position, unknowing of the way several other pairs and the judges themselves murmured about your reputation and your association with akira.

and you hoped she was watching over you both now. somewhere.

the music begun, contemporary and lyrical as you and satoru slid across the rink, already impressive and entertaining as you performed moves and lifts right off the bat, the sounds of your blades scraping against the ice oddly keeping you in time with your choreography as the number went on.

and you and satoru were feeding off of each other, the chemistry undeniable to a strangers eye that had no idea of your story as you conveyed passion through your expressions, each technical movement bleeding with the fact that you both had been olympic level trained since the age of fourteen and fifteen.

you were halfway through your routine now, the lasso lift coming up next as satoru harbored in his strength so he could properly propel you into that newly added spin.

you skated around him and he lifted you up into the air, the crowd cheering and excited at your beautiful remarkable forms.

except satoru’s hands were slippery.

why?

nerves. he quickly deemed it nerves as he had no time to deliberate since it was almost time to propel you up into the spin, his mind already racing over the fact that the slip in his hands was hindering his strength to keep you up there, and he worried that if he pushed you up, it wouldn’t be enough and you’d come tumbling down— hurting yourself.

but satoru had zero time to decide again as he went with protocol and pushed you up as hard as he possibly could and prayed you would go into your triple axel spin successfully and that he’d catch you.

but the minute that he did, the force yanked him back and his skates flew up in front of him, you falling down and your thigh hitting something sharp before you both went slamming to the ground— sliding apart from each other on the ice.

the crowd screamed and gasped in terror, sounds you were all too familiar with to what you heard three years ago filling both your fuzzy minds as satoru struggled to get back up, his head turning slowly around to see if you were okay and just sore like him—

until he saw your limp body on your side, your back to him with blood slowly pooling out on the ice and staining your pretty blue dress.

satoru scrambled up and skated straightaway in a panic to you before sliding on his knees as he reached you, turning you over and paling as he saw you were unresponsive and out fucking cold.

“baby?“ he shook you. “hey— baby—”

nothing.

why weren’t you answering him? why weren’t you awake?

his brain flashed images of akira’s body the day that she died, suffocating deja vu as the way you looked when he saw you like that on your side was a carbon copy of her from three years ago, his chest picking up speed as you continued to lay limp even after he shook you desperately numerous times like a madman.

and why was there so much blood?

blood that looked sickly bright red against the white ice, blood that stained his sleeves and shirt and hands as he held you up and supported your head, and blood that wouldn’t stop fucking oozing out of your leg as he trembled.

“hey— hey can you hear me?” satoru tapped your cheek rapidly, shaking you gently again with horrified eyes and still not getting a response.

“fuck! why is this happening this isn’t supposed to happen—”

how could he be your hero? how could he stop the blood and wake you up? how could he— how could he fix this how could he take it all back how could he fix this—

“no no no baby please—” he sobbed. “not like aki baby not like her man—”

he shook you again, your head lolling to the side as if— as if you were—

no.

“baby— birds of a feather right? birds of a feather we have to stick together you can’t— you can’t leave right?” he cried, chest heaving and vision blurry and you just felt so cold.

“you’re not leaving you’re not leaving me please not like aki please god—” he cradled you up to his chest in his arms and rocked. “you can’t leave me you’re all i know and i don’t wanna know anything else please baby—”

satoru’s frantic repeated heartbroken wailing echoed throughout the arena as the crowd erupted and moved around in hysteria, him still rocking you in his arms as he turned his head with terrified bloodshot eyes to look at both of your mothers, yours hunched over in a fit of screams and cries as his had her hands in her hair in utter disbelief and tears.

“fuck what do i do!” he sobbed, legs shakily standing as he slipped one arm under your back and the other under your knees, picking your limp body up as he saw a huge group of paramedics run over to him on the ice as he carried you over.

“help—” hic! “h—help me please—”

why couldn’t satoru be your hero when it mattered most?

several of them lowered the stretcher and took you from him, laying your lifeless self on it before hoisting you up and swiftly carrying you away, all of it horrifyingly and painfully similar to akira’s inevitable death.

were you gone?

satoru looked down and saw your baby blue ribbons on the ice, wet and stained with blood, once perfect bows in your pretty hair when he had you awake and breathing.

were you breathing? had you hit your head?

he couldn’t remember.

he couldn’t remember anything but your unresponsiveness, the way your skin was colder than the ice itself as he picked up your ribbons and looked at them in his hands— and the way your blood stretched over for what looked like miles and was still there.

in front of him. taunting him.

was the world so cruel as to take you too?

it wouldn’t. it couldn’t.

you’d never done anything wrong. you’d never treated anybody indifferently as you were sweet and beautiful and talented, always in servitude of others— in servitude of him as you taught him how to ice skate when you didn’t need to at six years old, you already kind and gentle at that young age when you could’ve easily shooed him away like a little bug and told him to fuck off.

and throughout your life too, as he was well aware he was an annoying dramatic piece of shit that whined and cried and ate your stashes of sweets all of the time— but you always just giggling and looking at him with adoration in your eyes, with your cheeky smile, with the little ribbon bows in your hair he loved so fucking much.

oh how he wished he didn’t always take your sweets at that moment. how he wished he wasn’t always an annoying blockhead and made you mad at times with his persistent personality and neediness as he stood there frozen in the rink staring at your blood— dark now and dull, wishing it was him instead of you.

you were knocked out for five days at the hospital.

you and satoru also didn’t make it into the top three at the international skating union competition.

you should’ve, as your score was already higher than any other pair there and only halfway through the routine too— but that’s precisely why you got knocked out.

if you had finished your number, you would’ve landed in the top three, but it ending halfway cut off the opportunity for accumulating more points, and eventually another pair surpassed your halfway score by two points.

but satoru didn’t give a shit. fuck the olympics and fuck the international skating union while your body laid still on the hospital bed for hours on end, him refusing to leave your side as he sat there and stared off into space with nothing in his head but hatred for himself as it was his fault that this happened and his blade that sliced you— eyes red and sunken and tired and refusing to eat or drink.

you had hit your head on the ice, but thankfully the trauma wasn’t anywhere near the severity of akira’s, it only inducing a strong concussion and sending you flying out of consciousness upon impact.

but it was the loss of blood that was the problem.

you had lost so much, too much of it.

it made you weak and frail and unable to do much and satoru worried that that’s what was going to take away your fighting chance of survival.

“you should go home satoru…” your mother sighed, standing by the door of your hospital room, her own eyes red and swollen.

he shook his head no silently.

“she’ll still be here… you need to eat something or sleep please. you look awful.”

satoru smiled weakly and shook his head again.

“m’fine.”

your mother pursed her lips to the side and she sighed again, nodding.

“i’ll come by early in the morning, alright?”

he hummed, giving her a tiny wave as she left and closed the door behind her.

satoru had brought a roll of pink ribbon from your little white box in your room, unrolling the pieces he chose and lifting his hands, taking the ends of your hair and trying to tie little thin bows the way you always did, but huffing softly in irritation when they just looked like shit.

he undid the one he was working on and settled for feeling the material of the ribbon between his thumbs instead.

satoru brought you bouquets everyday too.

sometimes three at a time as he continuously swapped out old flowers and replaced them with new ones, changed their water and poured fresh quantities into each vase to keep them alive, and often picked some more from the hospital garden when he went down to get some fresh air for a minute— the least he could do for nearly killing you.

and satoru had a lot of time to think while he waited for you to wake up— bitter and resentful at the world for letting him sit there healthy while you were out, so much so that he started thinking stupid shit like how he wished you would’ve forgotten him and dismissed his yapping dreams about ice skating when you met so you would’ve been an independent skater instead, so you then wouldn’t have gotten hurt by his idiocy and you wouldn’t be laying in a hospital bed like you were now.

or swapped places. him instead of you so he could beat up the fucks that took akira away and beat up zeus or— or aphrodite or whoever the fuck that was responsible for keeping him from you so he could come back to you… unsure if you were doing the same thing as he stared at your resting face.

you should’ve just left him behind.

but he was sleeping when you woke.

arms propped up and crossed next to you on the hospital bed, his cheek mushed up on them and face to the side as you blinked your eyes open and was straight up confused, not a single memory of the incident flitting through your mind… until it did.

and it hit you bad.

your mind reeled with a pounding headache, tears prickling your eyes at the events that plagued through your mind— a part of you knowing there was absolutely no way you and satoru made top three and gutted about it, feeling shaken from the memory alone of you falling and hitting the ice.. but grateful.

grateful to be alive, for you knew akira wasn’t as lucky.

was it because of her that you had lived? had she pulled some strings to change your fate?

your eyes trailed down to a sleeping peaceful satoru, your gaze softening at how tired and broken he looked, bags dark and purple as he snored away next to you, your hand lifting and delicately settling over his fluffy white hair as you smiled that he was here next to you— caressing.

satoru shot up wide awake then as you jumped and retracted your hand, the both of you alarmed and frantic.

“baby?” he grabbed your hand and felt around it, feeling warmth for once as he stood up straight and shoved back one of the sleeves of his hoodie.

“you’re awake? are you actually?—” he pinched his arm hard over and over and you giggled.

you giggled— the sound filling his ears and lifting an undeniable dark ton off of his shoulders as he relaxed, tears automatically brimming his eyes.

“i thought i fucking killed you sweets.” his voice shook, arms gently coming around you and pulling you into an embrace.

“killed me?” you frowned. “toru what are you talking about—”

“oh god you have amnesia—”

“no!” you laughed. “what do you mean by almost killed me? you didn’t do anything.”

“i did everything.” he spoke flatly. “i fucked up that lasso lift. i pushed you up too hard and we fell. i cut you with my blade i made you bleed—”

“toru that was an accident.” you pulled back and your chest hurt over the devastated look on his face, wiping his tears and kissing his nose. “remember— aki’s partner felt just like this and we had to tell him too it was an accident. you can’t control something like that. at all. it’s just unfortunate circumstance.”

“i know but i still feel like—” he wiped his eyes and swallowed. “i still feel like i could’ve done something different. it should’ve been me and not you and i should’ve—”

“toru don’t even don’t think about things like that.” you shook your head. “there wasn’t anything you could’ve done, baby. and that’s okay.”

you gently scooched over on the bed and patted the spot next to yours, satoru immediately climbing and settling in, clinging on to you as he placed his head on your chest with his arm firm but careful around your waist, suddenly feeling how exhausted he actually was from the days he spent restless.

you couldn’t have imagined the pain satoru must’ve gone through waiting for you to wake up. you didn’t know how he even fucking managed as you would’ve been torn into bits and pieces not knowing if he was going to live or not, looking at his limp bloody body the way he had to look at yours and it reminding you of the event that brought you both the most trauma and grief.

you couldn’t believe you almost went out the same way.

satoru confirmed your thoughts later and filled you in on the results of the international skating union competition, rubbing salt into the wound a little more upon learning that you landed fourth, nearly there as you couldn’t help but cry a bit in your hospital bed when he told you that you could’ve had a spot, satoru hugging you and reassuring you that you’d both have your shot at it in the next four years.

your family was relieved that you were awake, tons of people piling in and giving you sweets and food that satoru hungrily eyed and gawked over, you laughing and passing him the ones he particularly enjoyed most as you conversed with your relatives.

and recovery was thankfully easy— doctors orders being just you taking it light and being careful not to bonk your head against anything, as well as taking care of the laceration on your leg— changing the bandage frequently every morning and night, satoru insisting he help you with that and with many other things that you needed as he tried to make up for what he still thought was his fault.

two weeks had gone by of just rest and peace and no figure skating, thinking you and satoru deserved this break, but also secretly petrified of stepping on the ice again after what had happened— neither of you wanting to hurt the other as you avoided the topic of training for the meantime at all costs.

“maybe we should work at a water park.” you suggested one day, the two of you seated on a park bench through the chilly mid january air as you shared a plate of chocolate drizzled strawberries you got from some nice lady and her fruit stand. “be lifeguards!”

“oh hell no!” he spoke with his mouthful before swallowing, readjusting the black round sunglasses resting on the bridge of his nose. “you think i’m gonna be fine with watching random old men savoring after my wife in her little red bikini while i’m off saving some drowning kid? oh no thank you. let the kid drown.”

“toru!” you laughed, smacking his shoulder. “okay then what else?”

“janitors.”

you shrugged. “i like to clean. sometimes.”

“and your entire body is covered in those jumpsuits no stinky old men looking at—”

satoru’s phone buzzed against his jeans and he paused and pulled it out as you giggled, him barely glancing at the caller i.d before answering.

“hello?”

you mindlessly carried on plopping strawberries in your mouth and chewing.

“this is he…. oh hello! yes! how are you?”

you eyed satoru quizzically at his sudden formal change in tone, his eyes glued to the cement below.

“uh huh… really? o—okay! no yes for sure! thank you so much for the opportunity!”

opportunity?

you slowed your chewing and nudged his shoulder gently, wanting him to give you some kind of sign as to who it was on the other line.

“okay, we’ll keep in touch! thank you again!”

satoru slowly removed his phone away from his ear as the other line went dead, staring at his screen and you curiously leaning over only to see his call history log, a random number at the top.

“holy fuck.”

“what?!” you leaned in closer and tried to catch his eyes with yours, his shocked wide gaze slowly flittering to your face.

“that was the national olympic committee.”

you froze.

“shut the fuck up.” you covered your mouth. “toru what did they say what did they say—”

“one of the pairs that made it in the top three got disqualified.” he spat out quickly, shooting up and digging his fingers into his hair as he walked back and forth slowly in disbelief, spinning to face you. “i— i don’t know why i didn’t ask but we got bumped up.”

silence.

“we—” your chest rose and fell erratically, eyes darting around as satoru knelt down and grabbed your hands.

“baby we made it.” he tightened his grip. “we’re competing in the olympics—”

you squealed and jumped up and down and pulled satoru in, the both of you comically bouncing off the walls as you wailed and cried and blabbered on about how you couldn’t believe it and how a chance like this was even given to you, satoru lifting you and spinning you around but stopping and freaking out and apologizing profusely over your injured leg, you shaking your head and laughing, kissing him in return.

“we can’t avoid skating toru.” you spoke once you and him had settled down. “it’s literally what brought us together… and what brought us to aki. and even from you spinning me around like that it reminded me how much i missed skating with you.”

“i feel the same sweets.” he smiled, big and bright and handsome as he leaned over and kissed your rosy cheek. “i miss lifting you up and catching a glimpse of your ass underneath your—”

“toru!”

even though you and satoru were finally on board and accepting of bringing skating back into your lives, it wasn’t to say at all that the fear itself went away when you tried to do lifts or spins in the air with each other— apprehensive and scared as you practiced on the mats way more than necessary before moving choreography to the ice, satoru multiple times chickening out and needing a moment as he was petrified of hurting you again, and you glued in place at the thought of falling and slamming on the ground when you had just survived mostly unscathed.

but this wasn’t the time to be afraid over that anymore, and if akira were here, you both knew she’d smack you upside the heads and tell you to move… to get on the ice and do the sport you both loved and cherished most.

to finalize your dream and make it a reality.

and throughout the month that you and satoru spent before the commencement of the olympics, you trained like never before— no excuses as you worked tirelessly day and night with sweat literally dripping from your faces until every single goal was met and beyond, until every single throw from satoru was perfected and until every axel from you was delivered.

sometime during this month too, satoru finally got to take you out on that romantic candle lit dinner like he promised and asked you to be his girlfriend, him giddy and grinning the whole time and literally spoiling the moment as he meant to give you a chocolate dessert plate that said ‘will you be mine’ in chocolate syrupy letters, but accidentally eating it and smearing the words when he confused your plate with his, smacking his forehead repeatedly on the dining table as the silverware clattered— muttering about how dark it was and how he couldn’t fucking see, but you laughing so fucking much and clutching your stomach that your makeup smudged up at the corner of your eyes.

satoru was reminded again how much he loved you that day, because anyone else would’ve gotten tremendously annoyed and called him an idiot, but you…

you just giggled. giggled and hiccuped like always while he stared at you softly.

the love you and satoru shared stretched far beyond the concepts of what a platonic and romantic relationship was.

the love you and satoru shared was sacrifice. genuine sacrifice and yearn and absolute unadulterated love as you both without another thought would drop your careers for each other, would swap places if it meant the other would be safe from harm’s way, and would endure years of swallowing and pushing back feelings if it meant just keeping one another in your lives forever.

because that’s what birds of a feather was for to begin with.

a promise to stick together. a promise to keep each other safe.

a concept so pure and devoted that it translated onto the ice like no other pair when it came time for the olympics.

“you ready sweets?” satoru breathed out as you both stood in front of each other by the outside of the rink with interlaced fingers, shaking each other’s jitters out. “no matter what happens, we’ve already come so far and done so much, okay? we’ve done what we needed to do.”

“mhm!” you quickly nodded, satoru leaning down before you both rested your foreheads against each other’s with massive smiles on your faces, thunderous cheers echoing throughout the giant arena totally drowned out in your ears as you stared into satoru’s sparkling blue eyes.

“make aki proud.” you repeated softly, and he nodded, you hoping once again she was watching over you both.

you both stuck your pinkies out at the same time and looped them together.

“birds of a feather?” satoru beamed.

“birds of a feather.”

and you kissed your thumbs before sealing your promise.

you both watched the pair that you were going right after perform their routine, beautiful and difficult as you gnawed at your bottom lip in distress.

“toru…”

“yeah baby?”

“some of these pairs are crazy good…” you spoke over the music. “i’d honestly be happy with getting in the top twenty i don’t know if we can—”

satoru scoffed and shook his head, a sly smile as he looked over the rink with his arms crossed.

“nah, we’d win.”

and just like akira had done in her final olympic year— in her final moments, you and satoru made it known that it was your debut, that you had been hungry and desperate for this moment since the ages of six and seven, that you’d been raised and trained by a four-time olympic gold medalist for a decade as you executed the most technical and intricate moves and turns, you and satoru moving as one on the ice and identical as he took your hands and glided on the ice with you, raw emotion in your expressions that read love so clearly that it was impossible to miss.

with each lift, with each time satoru took you in his arms and spun, and with each time he simply held you close and tenderly to his chest as his blades scrapped across the ice with your pretty bows in his view— were all reminders for the two of you that partner figure skating was nothing without satoru and nothing without you.

the privilege of having another way to convey just how much you loved each other through the language of artistic expression and skates and ice, through the feel of each other’s skin, was one you nurtured and looked after and loved as the wind whipped through you and satoru due to the speed of your skates, performing quadruple axels like nothing while dropping the jaws of other figure skating pairs.

and because of this fact alone, how you both truly appreciated each other’s entities and had the indescribable power to correlate that into competitive sport—

was the reason why you and satoru won gold that day.

you and him, on your knees, gripping and hugging one another so hard and crying tears of joy as you both had come so far and gone through so much to get to where you were now, your dream now a complete and total reality as you stepped up onto that podium during the medal award ceremony just like akira had done— representing your country excellently with a big fat gold medal hung over your necks and a big fat kiss from satoru as he lip locked with you up there, flashings of cameras and bouquets and teddy bears scattered all throughout the ice in dismay.

“i love you!” satoru yelled to you over the roaring as you waved at the crowd, your mothers crying and blowing their noses and taking pictures from the edge of the rink as you and satoru cackled and pointed at them.

“i love you, toru!”

“no like seriously!” he put his waving hand down. “i wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. thank you for recognizing that i have love and dreams too baby and for not forgetting about me even when i’ve been the most annoying dipshit of your life.”

“you’ve never been that to me my god toru! where is this coming from?” he hopped off the podium once you two were given the all clear and he held a helping hand out for you to take, you doing so and carefully stepping down.

“reeaally?” he cheesed, cheeky and silly as his big pearly white smile made your cheeks flush. “so you love me then?”

“i literally would not be with you if i didn’t—”

“hooray!” he cheered, throwing his arms up as flower petals flew from his bouquets and around. “my girlfriend loves me! and we’re gonna have rough passionate olympian sex in our hotel room—”

“toru!—”

the love you and satoru shared wasn’t something silly like ‘i like you, you like me.’

it was call me when you get home.

have you eaten yet?

here, let me help you.

whatever you need.

yours and satoru’s souls were exactly the same— blended, intertwined, and stubbornly knotted together as no amount of tug and pull could unravel you both apart, satoru finding over the years that loving you was like muscle memory from the moment he met you, his nerves and reflexes gravitating him towards you on the ice that first time even when he knew there was a huge chance of him slipping and falling, but not being afraid of it at all as long as he just got to you, convinced he knew you in another life as you just felt so familiar the moment he saw your pretty little face.

and you’re so glad that he did get to you… that he stayed with you.

fourteen years of ice cream trips and sleepovers and horror movies from the moment you were teeny tiny babies to adults, experiencing the hardships of your teenage years of loss and grief, to then adulthood and college as you had the privilege of learning to navigate it with another being that was just like you, two little birds with no sense of direction other than to each other.

and it was all thanks to one woman and one woman alone.

“i honestly believe that if she was there, she would’ve brought one of those confetti poppers with dye in it and set it off.” you commented, you and satoru sitting on the grass at her grave site as you leaned your head on his shoulder and his head on top of yours, having literally just come off the plane from being at the olympics— your countries olympic button up thick jackets adorning your figures as your gold medals gleamed radiantly against the sun.

“i wish she was there.” satoru hummed, and you nodded softly in agreement.

“me too… but i’m sure she was! as a little birdie.”

he chuckled, finding your hand and interlacing your fingers as you stared at her tombstone like you’d done so many times before already… except this time it was bittersweet, you having accomplished what the three of you had strived so hard for at last.

“i miss her.” you murmured. “i miss her cussing.”

your eyes flickered down to her peace offerings, the little snow angel trinket you had gotten her still pretty and glossy and her as it sat happily on her stone platform.

satoru picked his head up and kissed the top of your head, propping his chin up on it.

“i miss her too baby.” he responded softly. “everyday.”

“but— i can’t thank her enough for giving us the bullets to fire with for skating.. y’know..” you ran the pad of your index finger along her tombstone, rough and scratchy as you traced little hearts along the edges.

“and she brought us closer together, did she not?” satoru pointed out.

she did.

a woman who was clumsy and loud and erratic with the biggest potty mouth you had ever heard that was passed down to you and satoru in the blink of an eye… but man did she know what love was as she taught it to you and reminded you both of exactly what it was each and every day.

you and satoru had accepted the fact that your hearts would never be whole again, for akira had taken half of them elsewhere and into the depths of the unknown.

but you were okay with that. completely and utterly okay with that.

for love had no limits.

you wanted her to keep it, as you and satoru stitched the remaining halves of your hearts together to create a new whole, as there was no one else you both would rather have that part of you with them forever besides akira.

and yours and satoru’s stitched up hearts grew increasingly bigger and fonder even after a couple of years later, even after winning three more olympic gold medals, you and him back at the same place in front of akira’s grave like always, sitting and laughing and chatting— but with two little baby toddlers that were half of you and half of satoru as they blubbered on about ‘mama aki’ and her trophies, a delicate twinkling ring on your finger and a golden band around satoru’s as your little family had a picnic over her final resting place.

“papa!” your son exclaimed, satoru immediately turning his attention to him in the midst of scarfing down a turkey sandwich.

“yes my offspring?”

you playfully glared at your husband.

“why do your eyes look scarier in the day?”

“HAH!” you slapped a hand over your mouth to hush your cackling, satoru’s face absolutely taken aback and offended.

“they do!” your daughter giggled. “they do! they do!—”

“baby do something!” satoru whined, shoulders slumping as he threw his head back. “i’m being bullied by five year old’s!”

you giggled and kissed his cheek, his pout quickly turning into a soft little grin as his face flushed pink.

“but your papa’s eyes are pretty you guys! and they match yours!”

“mmm— nope! scary!”

your two twin toddlers giggled uncontrollably as they thought being mean to their dad was the funniest thing in the world, you laughing with them as satoru flopped back dramatically and completely laid down on the grass with his eyes looking straight up at the bright sky.

“s’okay.” he spoke flatly. “if even my pretty little wife thinks my suffering is funny i’ll just burn my eyes to a crisp—”

“toru!” you slapped his knee. “too graphic in front of the kiddies.”

“but my suffering!—”

“mommy mommy!” your daughter tugged at your sleeve and pointed to the top of akira’s tombstone, a cute perfect white and brown bird perched up on the edge and peering curiously at the four of you, the creature not alarmed whatsoever of your children’s sudden movements as they scrambled to get closer to it.

satoru propped himself up with an elbow and stared before you both locked eyes, knowing growing smiles on your faces as he fully sat up— leaning and planting a gentle kiss to your forehead, letting it linger.

aki.

and it was like you and satoru were reminded again of your promise that you still told each other every day.

a promise that consisted of your years together… of your love, of your undying fervor of sticking together, of your need of keeping each other safe…

of birds of a feather.

taglist!! <33 (THANK YOU THANK YOU!):

@cupcaketeddybehr @soobiary @roachfun @waterfal-ling @saebaey @reneinii @luvvmae @cake-with-the-cream @pixie-dix @2ukika @cramelmacchiao @hy3phiren @umemiaa @wil10wthetree @jameinfrau @pancakeszs @drftnzume @k0z3me @k4zivy @dindjarins1ut @starrnai @tinyray-lovesfood @iloveoldermenn @dazqa @applepi25 @aria-chikage @rose-tinted-kalopsia @runfrme @unofficialsapphire

[cheer-nympho]

Steve was always being brushed off when he asked people to read things aloud for him,

In middle school his assigned partner for their ‘Frankenstein’ project gave him a scornful glare and ignored him when he had asked them to read the passages aloud.

In his sophomore year, he’d turned to ask Robin Buckley to read a old newspaper article about the ‘Wild West’ to him, because he couldn’t make it out through the fonts and weird words. She had fixed him with a cold look but before she could respond, Tammy was tapping his shoulder offering her help.

Then, while studying with Nancy and Barb at lunch, Steve had asked for help reading study cards. His own study cards. The paper was too bright and the squiggles too squiggly. Both of them had looked at him, them each other, clearly trying to decide if it was a joke.

Barb had scoffed under Nancys pointed look and gone back to her own notes. And while Nancy hadn’t read them out for him, she had handed him her own notes on some nice blue and yellow cards. It took him a while, but he could read them. Maybe she thought he hadn’t wrote any.

After that, he went a long time without asking anyone to read him things. Turns out that once you graduate, reading isn’t much of an issue. He’d gotten by just fine by looking at his Archie comics and ignoring the swirling lines of articles surrounding them.

He didn’t need to ask again until Scoops Ahoy. For a cheap, overly themed ice cream parlour there sure was a whole lot of memorising and reading to be done. He couldn’t see the charts properly, couldn’t really make out the dates on the tubs in the freezer. But every time he asked Robin for help, her frown would deepen and deepen until she just snapped. It hadn’t been that mean, really. Just an annoyed yell followed by accusations of being lazy, her not understanding how he managed to graduate, one last comment of him being a ‘bumbling idiot’.

After the Russians, she never said anything like that to him again. And she always did the inventory and lists for him.

It takes until summer, 1987, for anyone to read aloud to Steve. They were laying across Eddie’s new bed in comfortable silence.

Steve had his legs dangling off the edges as Eddie leant back against him, legs pointing up against the wall in a way he swore was actually comfortable. He had been reading a new book called “Spellfire” and he couldn’t seem to put it down.

“Eddie?”

“Hm?”

“What’s your book about?”

“This? Well I…Not sure it’s really your thing, man.”

“Maybe.” He goes back to reading. “I could see if it’s my thing?”

Eddie twists his head sideways to look up at Steve with a slightly confused face. “You wanna borrow it?”

“Was thinking you could read it.” He fiddled with the pocket of his jeans in a hopefully casual and not freaking out way. He didn’t look at Eddie as he waited, but after a few moments he responded.

“Sure. That’s fine, yeah. Want me to start over or go from here?”

“From there is good.”

And it was good, it was really really good. Steve hadn’t been able to read a book since middle school, hadn’t really tried again after that. But as he lay back and let Eddie’s voice wash over him he couldn’t help feeling that he’d been missing out.

Sure, it actually wasn’t really his thing, but the way Eddie read aloud painted such a clear picture that Steve enjoyed it anyway. The other would change his voice slightly for different characters and added emotions into his speaking. If it was a tense moment, he’d go slow and add gaps in just the right places. If it was fast paced he’d speed up and get more and more manic until the action cut off. He felt like he was reading along. Felt like he could see the pages in the book, but also the characters and the dungeon they were combining through.

So, for the first time Steve hadn’t been brushed off. He had probably found the only person he knew who could turn reading a book into a performance. One he would happily be seated for every night.

From then on, new books turned up at the trailer every week, Steve not far behind.

[smutoperator]

Morning Roses

Park Chaeyoung (Rosé) x Male Reader

Tags: breeding kink, CMNF, (lots of) cock stroking, creampie, (lots of) fingering, good smell, morning sex, passionate sex, pussy sniffing, quickie, (a little) rimjob, switching

Word Count: 3177

Los Angeles, United States

It's early in the morning, and you're already up to go to work. The busy traffic of Los Angeles is implacable. However, as you were preparing to take your regular morning commute, you got a text message from a longtime lover you hadn't seen in a while.

"I'm in LA today; come see me." Rosé texted you. It had been a while since she had sent you a message. It used to be a given that she would come to your place every time she went to LA, but with her taking new steps into her solo career, you two were unable to see each other the last couple times she went to the city of angels.

You immediately canceled any of your plans, ready to see Rosé again after a long time. The selfie she had sent you drove you insane—her long blond hair, short skirt, long legs, and skinny body looking better than ever. She was truly aging like fine wine, becoming a hotter and hotter woman as time passed by.

You arrived at the house Rosé had sent the location to you; she greeted you with the same outfit she was wearing on that selfie. On a hot summer morning, Rosé got herself on the couch barefoot, close to the fan, as she stared at you reading this morning news, running her hands on her hair.

Rosé approaches you. "What are you waiting for?" she asks. "Why didn't you call me the last few times you were in LA?" You decide to play it tough with her. "Sorry, I was busy," she said. "And you don't think I'm busy today?" you punch back.

Rosé takes matters into her own hands, snatching your phone away as she sits on your lap, reclining her slim body onto yours. She doesn't say any words, just letting you slowly build up your uncontrollable desire for her as the flowery smell of hers invades your nostrils.

You two look at each other, pondering who's going to make the first move. You sniff Rosé's neck while she runs her hands into yours. She turns around, but you decide to play it tough, avoiding her seductive eye contact.

But Rosé has more than one way to seduce you. It's been five years since you first met, all the way back to her first performance at Coachella. She knows you can't resist her allure. She moves your hands into her body, placing them right at her erogenous zones. "I missed your touch so much, baby," she says.

"But there is something I missed much more," Rosé says shortly after, loudly unzipping your pants and reaching under them. You kiss her neck and blow a gust of wind into her ears, trying to react, but she's already far ahead, giving you a bright smile as she takes your belt completely off.

Rosé quickly brings you to your knees as she starts stroking your big cock. "Did you miss my touch?" she asks, bragging. "Ohhhh shit," is all you can say, your shaft pressed between Rosé's clothes, yours and her hand, her carefully masturbating your erection and growing bigger and bigger at each move.

You can no longer resist and pull Rosé's top to the side, showing her perky little milky tits and touching them. "Fuck," you whisper, reaching under her skirt and taking her panties off at the same time you pull her skirt down.

Rosé kisses you, taking her hands off your cock and letting you search for her tight entrance. You let out a couple moans as your dick slowly slides inside her slit. Now it's Rosé's turn to moan, holding your hand as her pussy slowly engulfs your cock. 

You dive your head into Rosé's tits as her tight walls crush your cock. In contrast to her usually bustling life in LA, Rosé is in no hurry, moving her hips at a very slow motion and warming up your cock with her sexy moves. She places her hands in her pussy and rubs her clit, following it with some caressing in your shaft. You now move into kissing her armpits and wondering how she can smell so good without any perfume, just au naturel.

Rosé increases the pace of her riding, taking your cock deeper in her pussy while she kisses you and you caress her clit. She then pauses a bit, letting you enjoy her clit as your fingers and your cock now simultaneously penetrate her pussy.

"Ahhh, fuck, your hands massage it so well," Rosé says as they stimulate her throbbing insides, and she kisses you once again. Her moans get louder, your cock digs deeper and deeper in her cunt, your hands do the same in her clit, she moves her hips, trying to answer your increasingly hotter stimulation.

Rosé's long legs shake and close as you massage her clit at full force now. "FUCKKKK, AHHHHHHH," she screams, your touch bringing her to her knees, the stimulation being so much for her that Rosé is unable to keep your cock inside her pussycat. But you don't care and just keep your hands working on her clit, proving that you can make her cum without even using your cock to do so.

You're now ready to turn the slim Aussie into your fucktoy. Your shaft is barely visible, just peeking out of your pants and then quickly disappearing in Rosé's pink pussy. She tries to resume her ride but is already too weak to continue, letting you kiss her perky tits instead. Rosé plays with her nipples as you suck them and goes back to massage her pink pussy. "Ahhhh, ahhhhh, ahhh, I can't take it; your hands are so good, fuckkkk me," she moans.

"OH FUCKKKKK," Rosé screams, as you don't even need to thrust upwards to dominate her perfect pussy, just letting your hands do all the work as they hit the Aussie slut's throbbing folds. Rosé once again can't handle your touch, squirting as your cock slides out of her cunt for a second time.

Seeing that you're easily winning the battle, Rosé changes her strategy, turning around and getting your cock back in her pussy as her panties still hang on by her thigh. She starts slow and romantically kisses you as she picks up the pace to ride your cock, pressing her nails against your suit. Her fast rides quickly turn the tide, as you're now the one hanging on for your dear life each time Rosé manages to get your shaft all the way down in her pink pussy and her hips clash against your balls.

"OH MY GOD BABY, OH MY GOD, YESSSS, KEEP DOING THAT!" you scream as Rosé's pussy bounces up and down your cock. "God damn it, you are such a good slut riding on my cock," you tell her. 

"You like it, baby?" Rosé asks with a smile on her face. She really loves to be on top of the world—well, on top of a big cock, which is basically the same for her—loving to see you struggling with her tight walls after you made the throb a couple minutes ago with that massage. "Damn it, your pussy is so tight," you say to Rosé. "And your cock is so amazing stretching it out," she replies, as you cling into her tits and suck them like a baby to save yourself from cumming.

Rosé takes what is still left of her top off, getting herself fully naked. The contrast of Rosé's goddess body with no clothes on and yours fully clothed as the morning sunlight invades the room is a sight to behold. She climbs off your body and pulls your pants down, getting on her knees to taste her juicy pussy out of your cock.

But before doing so, she teases you a bit, playing with your balls and eating your asshole while sniffing your thobbing shaft. "It smells like morning roses; it looks like I really left my mark on it," she says as she moves up to savor your balls and strokes your shaft, looking at you with naughty eyes as she performs a kissing blowjob, paying lots of attention to the tip and putting her sexy lips all over it.

"Fuck, fuck," it's all you can whisper as Rosé handles your shaft. You push her body close to yours to enjoy it as you two share more kisses; her never stop stroking that big cock, going even faster as you move into her neck and grip her ass, trying to survive her magical hands working all over that cock.

Rosé now holds your cocks with both hands, emerging as the clear winner as she arches her back and dominates you from top to bottom. Her naked butt looks absolutely perfect. You try to counter, using the same fingers that brought her pussy into submission to now dig inside her asshole. Bur Rosé quickly nullifies your attack, diving face-down straight to your cock while putting her ass up for you to look at and drool over.

"Like this, like this," you say as Rosé performs the boss-chair blowjob on you. But truth be told, she's the real boss, sucking the life out of your cock, getting especially sloppy with the tip as she spits all over it. "Yes, oh yes," you say as Rosé massages your prostate, sticking her long index finger up your butthole. She looks at you with dirty eyes, loving how your big cock is all hers to enjoy.

But you are determined to flip things around, putting Rosé in the chair as you dive to suck her tits and reaching your hands into her pink pussy. The chair rocks from side to side as you pin Rosé to it and dominate her, descending down her body and kissing it at every possible erogenous zone: her neck, her tits, her navel, her legs, and last, but not least, her amazing tight pussy.

You rest your head at Rosé's pussy, eating and sniffing it as she closes her eyes and naugtly moans. Good god, her pussy must have the best smell on earth. You never get tired of it. Even though you have known for a long time how good it tastes, each time she manages to surprise you with that amazing rose scent that quickly invades your nostrils and refuses to leave.

Rosé clenches her legs as you sniff her delicious clit. "Ahhhhh, ahhhhh, please eat that pussy like that," she moans, contorting her body all over the chair, trying to resist the magical work of your tongue. You give her a little rest as Rosé gets out of breath, taking your suit off. But not for long. As soon as she gives you that sexy stare that drives you crazy, you two go back to trading kisses and working your tongues all over your mouths.

But now you want to work a different part of your body on Rosé's, getting your cock back in her pussy as you lay Rosé's light body on top of the chair, admiring her perfect bikini mark as the sunlight makes her beautiful body glow.

"Lay down," you tell Rosé, slowly pushing her body down as you touch her breasts, her moans getting sexier than ever. "Please, baby, take it deep in my pussy," Rosé begs as you start thursting once again slowly, building up the heat inside her fuckhole. The summer heat forces you to take your clothes off as you pound her hard and finger her nipples. "AHHHHHHH," Rosé screams as you choke her, your cock now bulging under her skinny belly. You stop a bit to kiss her before coming full force to pound her tight pussy.

Rosé's body gets completely pinned down to the chair as you fuck her in a mating press position. "That's so good, that's so good, you're sending me to heaven," she moans as she fingers her clit, doubling the stimulation as you hit her pussy all the way down to her cervix.

"FUCK DAMN IT!" Rosé screams as your cock stretches her tight pussy even further. You look at her eye to eye, whispering dirty words in her ear. "I'm going to put a baby in this hot Aussie womb," you tell her. "Make you look like a kangaroo when I breed that pussy," you continue.

Rosé's skin turns red as she really gets down to the idea of getting impregnated. "Please, baby, get me pregnant; I want it so much," she says as you rest your cock close to her womb.

But you're not going to do that yet, wanting to enjoy Rosé's slutty body a little more. "First, I'm going to fuck the shit out of this beautiful pussy," you tell her, spitting on her face. "AHHHHHH, PLEASE, DESTROY THAT PUSSY," she begs as you grab her body and hit her cunt full speed, groping her tits with one hand and massaging her belly with the other, feeling your cock poke under it multiple times.

You flip Rosé around as soon as she squirts a little. "I didn't tell you to cum, slut. Now arch that back and put that ass up," you demand of Rosé, who lets out a moan. "Keep going, show me how much that big fucking cock loves to fuck my pussy," she punches back. 

Rosé gets her knees on the floor as you grab her beautiful ass from behind. She looks more submissive than ever. You pull her hair and increase the pace, pounding her pussy fast, hard, and deep and enjoying the massive recoil of her ass each time your balls hit her pale cheeks.

"You're so fucking perfect," you say to Rosé. "Tell me how much you love it then, baby," she replies. "Tell me how much you fucking love fucking me," she continues. "Is that your pussy?" she asks. "It's your pussy, isn't it, baby?" she keeps asking as you keep panting, getting closer and closer to cum at each thrust inside Rosé's tight fuckhole.

"HMMMMMMMM, AHHHHHHHH," Rosé suddenly screams as you give a spank to her ass. You're going to make it red, make it red, even though she's not a member of the group who sings that song. But her ass is so great and round you can't resist; it's just the perfect spot for your big hands to hit nonstop.

Rosé clings to the chair, trying to resist the fast poundings you give her. "FUCKKKKK, OH MY GODDDDDDD," she screams as soon as you add your hands inside her asshole, your cock and your fingers competing to see who fucks each hole faster. You then grab her little waist to get a better grip of the ausie fucktoy's body. "Yeah, yeah, yeah," you groan as Rosé's walls get tighter and tighter the more you pound her pussy. "KEEP GOING, THAT'S SO GOOD, AHHHHHH, SHITTTTT," she screams again.

"Oh baby, thanks for giving me that pussy," you tell her. Rosé just fingers her pussy, getting her walls tighter and tighter and preparing to milk you dry. "How good does my pussy feel, baby? The best pussy you ever fucking had?" Rosé says. "Yes, you're so fucking hot and tight, my favorite pussy in the whole world," you answer back.

"If I'm your favorite pussy, then show me and fill it full of your cum,"  Rosé says as you give her butt another spank. These words make you go feal. You tease Rosé as you rub your shaft between her asscheeks. "That's hot, baby, getting that cock ready to cum as hard as possible," she says. "I loved rubbing it against your red, spanked, slutty Aussie ass," you reply.

You give Rosé's ass a little more claps before lifting her right leg and diving under her to eat both her holes. "I want that pussy to be super tight; grip my cock until my balls are completely drained," you say to her. "Ohhh, yes, baby, that tongue is getting it tigther than ever; eat my pussy good and I'll make that cock cum like it never did," Rosé says.

Rosé chimes in and massages your balls while standing in one leg. "I can feel the cum building up for me; it wants to breed my pussy so bad," she says. "Eat my pussy like that; get it tighter," she demands from you.

"Are you ready for it?" you ask Rosé, indirectly making a reference to one of her friends. "I'm always ready; give it to me," she says. 

You search for Rosé's entrance to put your cock in her pussy for one final time. You two have fucked for a little under 30 minutes, but it's been so hot it feels like you've been going on for 3 hours. Her pussy is so tight you struggle to even hit the hole this time. "Oh my God, it's so tight," you say.

"Ahhhhh, shit," Rosé let out a big moan as you finally manage to get inside her. "I'm ready for it; how bad do you want to cum on this tight little pussy?" she asks. "Wanna fucking pump me until you cum inside it?" she keeps saying, building up the heat. 

"Cum inside that tight little pink pussy," Rosé says in a sexy whispering voice. The more she talks, the more you get turned on. "Give me all that hot sticky load inside it, please; I love it; I want it; fill me up, please," she continues to whisper.

"Fuck fill up that pussy, fucking cum inside me right now; I want it so bad; get me pregnant now. Breed me," Rosé begs with more whispers, feeling your cock pulsating in her tight hole as you start groaning. It doesn't take long for you to pump that hot, sticky load deep into her womb. She can't believe how much cum you managed to put inside that pink pussy. "Oh my God, that was amazing," she said. "It's been a long time since someone came inside me this hard," she said.

"That was a great morning fuck session; guess I need to go now; I'm very late to work," you say. "That's too bad; I'll miss you, and especially miss your throbbing cock pumping that big load in my pussy; who knows when I'm going to get it again," Rosé says, kissing you as you put your clothes back on and drive yourself back into the insane LA traffic.

The next day is really boring. After a morning of Roses, the afternoon is just more and more stressful work, leaving you extremely tired once you arrive at home. You sleep as soon as you get home, only waking up the next day with your phone's alarm clock. You take your regular morning shower and prepare your breakfast until another message from Rosé comes out.

"Come see me again; I got three more pussies for you to breed," she texts you, with this picture attached to it.

Damn, Rosé is really amazing. You know the moment she leaves LA, you'll be counting the days for her return.

[bunny-jpeg]

Can I please get a tiramisu with a side of champagne with an innocent reader and Lando Norris, please. 🙏

bakery menu

want to suggest your own order? read the menu! i love the idea of an innocent!reader, that's so cute. with a sugar daddy!lando!! i imagine him being so sweet but then being a little devil in the bedroom! i hope you love this <3

tiramisu ("my little slut to ruin") + champagne (sugar daddy au) served by lando norris (formula one)!

cw: smut/pwp, sugar daddy au, fluff, dom!lando, mean!lando (in the bedroom), doggy style, dirty talk (a little degrading), innocent!reader, big dick!lando

lando didn't like the word "sugar daddy", because that implied he was paying you for sex. in all honesty, he felt nervous the first time he had sex with you.

you were a virgin, and he was taking your virginity. not that he really put much stock in the concept of virginity, but he didn't want to ruin your first time. he remembered that he fingered you for what felt like hours because he didn't want to bruise you.

when he did that he said to you, "i know this is stupid to say. but, i'm sorry for having a big cock." he made sure that you were comfortable before he (gently) fucked you. he remembered anxiously waiting while you basked in the after glow of orgasm to get a rating of his performance.

(you gave it 10/10!, even if you were a little sore the next morning)

since then you had grown into knowing what you like and don't like. you were curious as you never had a partner prior and through trial, error and the usage of safe words. you both figured out what you both liked.

lando didn't like slapping you, unless it was on your ass. you didn't like having you hair pulled. you both liked lando ran his mouth, even when his words got more depraved. lando liked when you called him daddy and you liked when he wrapped both arms around you when he took you doggy style. and you both liked after care, regardless of how intense the situation got. you both found comfort in holding one another as you settled down.

so was it really paying for sex if you were both getting off to it and had an open conversation? probably not!

-

you two had come back from a day of shopping. when most thought about a sugar baby spending their daddy's money. it mostly meant expensive items like diamonds and gold.

but not you. when you were picking up a bulk pack of cotton panties and winced at the price (under 8€), while lando sent you back into the store to get a second pack.

"it's fine, my love." he said as he gave you cheek a little pinch, "they're cute. they have flowers on them." and then scanned the rest of your items when you were away. you were a terrible sugar baby in that regard.

he one time found you cutting out a coupon from the cereal box and when he asked you what was going on. you said, "save us 2 euros." as you cut up the cardboard.

lando found it endearing. you clearly knew how much he was making a year, he could afford spending the extra 2 euros on cereal. but, you wanted to earn your keep.

you put the reusable bag in the bedroom before you got out of your clothes for the day. which meant padding around in a baggy t-shirt and sleeping shorts. you had socks on that were pulled up to your calves, they were a little bit big on you which made you think they were landos.

but they were very comfy as you went back to the couch. you sat down and lando threw an arm around you. he had taken one of the popsicles you bought on your last shopping trip and when you sat beside him, he pointed it towards you..

you leaned over and put your mouth around it, you made a sweet noise at the coolness on your tongue. it was very erotic. you looked up at him and gave the icy treat another lick.

sometimes lando forgot how innocent you were. you didn't know what you were doing when you pulled away and giggled.

"that was really good." you said, "can i have some more?" before he could respond, you happily ate some more of it.

when you pulled away, you could see lando swallow. you asked, "is everything okay, lando?"

he leaned in and pressed a kiss on your lips. the kiss was a big hungry as he felt his cock stir in his pants. when he pulled away, "finish it."

you took it from him, but when you did. he snaked his hand down the front of your shorts and he invaded your space. you yelped a little but moaned when you felt his fingers grazed across your pussy.

you quickly ate the sweet treat before lando took the stick and tossed it over his shoulder before be pulled him into a tight kiss. his fingers continued to play with your pussy.

"you're my good girl, right? my little slut to ruin?" he asked to test the waters if you wanted to go forward with it. he could feel his erection in his loose shorts.

you looked very hot pressed against the leather couch. you nodded, "i'm always a good girl for you, daddy." when lando gave you room, you quickly made your way to the bedroom.

lando thought you were painfully innocent sometimes. the idea that he was teaching you how to make yourself feel good made pride surge in him. it was so cute watching your little behind as you made your way to the bedroom.

he practically tackled you to the bed and rubbed his aching clothed erection against your ass as he palmed your breasts through your shirt, his nose was in your hair.

"daddy!" you yelped.

"you're so good for me. i've taught you how to feel good." he groaned as he continued to rub up against you, "i still have so much to teach you, poor thing can't take all of my cock down her pretty throat. maybe i'll get you a nice pink collar when i train you."

you whined, your panties felt soaked by his closeness to you. his hefty words in your ears as you wiggled under him. you soon felt his hands go to the waistband on your shorts and yank them down.

he continued to rub his cock up against your panty clad ass, he needed his baby girl. it wasn't fair that there were still so many layers on you.

he gave you a little room and watched you undress as he did the same. he stood there, beautiful as ever with his hard cock on full display. once you were naked, he got back onto the bed as rubbed his cock up against your cute little hole.

"you're so pretty like this. on your hands and knees, shiny hole for me." he groaned as he guided his cock into your pussy, bottoming out into you. he held onto your hips and started to thrust.

it was true, you were painfully cute. the perfect baby girl for him, even if he couldn't have sex with you. being around you and your sweetness was more than enough for him.

once he got a steady pace, he then wrapped his arms around you middle as he moved against you. he pressed his cheek up against your back as he rutted against you. the slick sounds of sex paired with your noises filled the room.

lando whispered praises into your skin as he moved. his cock felt so good inside of you, his breathing was heavy as he kept his pace fast. he felt the roll of pleasure in his body and he groaned heavily against you.

his cock throbbed inside of you. your cunt felt like a dream. it made him hot all over. you were painfully cute, even when you were being split by his impressive size.

"please, daddy. that feels so good." you whined as you arched your back. you could feel the pull of him in your stomach. your brain felt mushy, fueled by pleasure as he moved against you.

lando groaned against your skin, "you're the perfect girl for me. i lucked out, fuck. you're so good for me. clipping coupons and letting me fuck your sweet pussy. i lucked out." he kissed your heated flesh.

"please daddy."

"don't worry. i'm not goin' anywhere. i'm not leaving behind something so perfect." he kissed then at your cheek and rested his chin on your shoulder as he fucked you heavily.

his words made you hot all over, he watched you claw at the covers as he continued to thrust into you. he could feel the sweat down his neck as he continued to move.

the pleasure swirled through him as he moved. it all felt so good, it made him painfully hard. your combined noises made him shudder, he knew he wasn't going to last long. and neither were you.

you quickly came with your head in the sheets, your back arched further. you felt your heartbeat in your ears as he continued to fuck you. it was a erotic sight, the two of you fucking in the comfort of your own home.

"my precious girl."

"mmm, daddy." you whined, basking in the post orgasmic feeling.

he clenched onto you and finished inside of you with a hard thrust. he'd make sure you weren't in pain by tomorrow. he slowed down his pace to a still before he kissed the back of your head and whispered that he loved you.

you laid flat on the bed and found comfort in the soft covers as you panted heavily. lando then curled you up in his arms. he spooned you from behind as he kissed at your neck. you were so painfully cute, even when blissed out from the intensity of sex. he kissed at the shell of your ear gently.

"how was that? did i hurt you?"

you held onto his forearms as he held you and replied, "no, no. everything is perfect." you pressed your back further up against you and smiled softly, "you spoil me."

he chuckled and gave you another kiss on the neck, "always. i'll always spoil my baby." he squeezed you a little tighter. that was a promise to you.

[navybrat817]

Hold You Tight: Part 9

Pairing: Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Fic Summary: The owner of The 107th wants you to be his girl whether you like it or not.

Part 8 | Series Masterlist | Part 10

Chapter Summary: Bucky takes you home, but will he keep his hands to himself?

Chapter Word Count: Over 3.7k

Chapter Warnings: DARK AU, tension, dirty talk, unease, possessiveness, inner turmoil, slight feels, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?), more warnings to come.

A/N: More Hold You Tight and thank you for your patience! Hope you lovelies continue to enjoy. Bucky edit by the beautiful @nixakimbo . ❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby , but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-graphics . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

You thought you heard the men wish you well once more when Bucky led you out of the office. You weren’t completely sure since you tried to block everything out, but attempting to disassociate wouldn’t exactly do you any good. The night wasn’t over yet and you had to stay sharp. You didn’t know what Bucky had planned for when he got you home. Were you prepared at all?

Not in the least.

You half expected to walk back through the front of the club to leave, but Ray directed you to a door near the back once he gave Bucky a nod. The car was waiting in the alley and you took a moment to glance up at the sky. You could only make out one star and you wished in that moment you could grow wings and fly away. But when did wishing upon a star do you any good?

“Let’s get you back to your place,” Bucky said, helping you into the car.

You had to give him credit for trying to keep up his end of the bargain by getting you home on time. Your body refused to relax though once he sat beside you and took your hand. Was he trying to get you accustomed to his touch? Make you crave him? It bothered you that in spite of your determination he drew you in to a certain degree. But you wouldn’t let him take you to bed tonight. You weren’t ready to cross that inevitable line.

Maybe, just maybe, if your performance in bed disappointed him, he’d get bored and walk away. The thought almost made you laugh. That wasn’t happening. If anything, he’d probably love teaching you how to be his perfect lover.

“I think tonight went well,” Bucky smiled.

“Which part exactly?” You mumbled, pulling your hand away. The part where he forced you to go, how his men all but admitted they knew Bucky stalked you, or how they beat the hell out of a man?

“Just the night in general. I knew everyone would love you, but I really think Thor wants to be your big brother now,” Bucky replied. You wanted it so badly to be endearing, but Thor was dangerous. He mentioned a father-in-law. How exactly did he find his wife? And bringing up the flower donations to the hospital. Bucky seemed upset. Why? “Which he’ll have to fight Steve for.”

“Fighting. You guys seem to excel in that arena,” you said, remembering how they all took turns beating up John. “But I guess Steve does have a bit of that ‘big brother’ vibe, helping you take total control of my life and whatnot.”

“Not total control. I’m still letting you work, but maybe I can buy the shop.” He chuckled at your thunderous expression. The light threat had you seeing red. “I probably shouldn't joke about that, should I?”

“Letting me work? Like it’s your decision? And don’t you dare buy the shop.” You pushed at him to keep from slapping him when he chuckled again. Not with enough force to get him far away from you, but you needed some sort of space in the vehicle. He also needed a good hit over the head. “You’re a bully, do you know that? So are your friends.”

His laughter died off quickly when he reached out and gently took your hand again, prying your fingers away from your palm. You didn’t notice it stung from your nails until he brought your hand to his mouth and kissed it. “You think we’re bullies?” He asked against your skin.

“Yes. Besides nearly beating that jerk to death, you do realize that you use force and threats to dominate and intimidate. That’s a form of bullying, Bucky,” you said. Was he deliberately being obtuse or was he lost in his delusion that this was all normal?

“I wouldn’t say we’re bullies. I call it protecting and keeping what’s mine,” he said. There was no shame on his end.

“Right. Because I’m a possession and not a person,” you said, your face scrunching up as you tried not to cry. You needed rest. If part of Bucky’s plan was to wear you down by overwhelming you, mission accomplished. “I’m so tired. I just want to go to bed.”

“You’re a person, not a possession, Kotyonok. And not just a person, a good person who gives so much of herself to others. And probably one of the only people who rightfully calls me out on my shit.” His response drew you up short. “Outside of my friends, no one else does that.”

“Maybe because they’re afraid of you and what you can do,” you said after a moment. Fear could make anyone say what they thought people wanted to hear. “Either that or they want your approval,” you added, which you could also understand to a point. People wanted a sense of belonging, especially with those who had influence and power.

“Maybe they are afraid,” he agreed, brushing his lips against your palm again with a sigh. “What is it about me that scares you most?”

“I’m not really sure exactly,” you admitted. There was so much about the situation that terrified you. What he was capable of. How he inserted himself into various aspects of your life and so quickly. How far he was willing to go to keep you. “But I think it’s your conviction. That you’re so sure that I’m your other half and no one can convince you otherwise, not even me.”

You could scream until your lungs gave out that you didn’t belong with him and you knew in your heart he’d argue until his last breath that you did. He was steadfast in that belief that you were soulmates. That conviction was so strong that what you really feared was that he would somehow convince you that he was right: that you belonged together.

Those steel blue eyes of his met yours and mesmerized you for a heartbeat before you looked away. “Love is scary. It’s natural to be afraid of it.” His lips brushed your ear, making you shiver. “But giving someone the most fragile parts of yourself is one of the bravest things a person can do.”

There was truth in his words, but it felt like he moved another chess piece into place. He was trying to disarm you and you couldn’t let him. “Who painted that black dahlia in your office?” You asked suddenly, feeling him move back enough that you could turn your head toward him. “And why display that flower?” You didn’t believe for a second that he chose it for aesthetic purposes.

“Beautiful, isn't it? Steve painted it,” he replied with an odd mixture of affection and bitterness. “It’s for my parents.”

“Steve is a gifted artist.” You hoped your voice stayed even enough that Bucky wouldn’t get jealous of you complimenting another man’s talent. “I don't know if the symbolism of flowers mean anything to you, but the black dahlia-”

“Betrayal. Sadness. Darkness,” he ticked off, his voice cold enough that another shiver moved through your body. “It was the last flower my dad ever got my mom and it serves as a reminder.”

You swallowed as warning bells sounded in your mind to tread carefully. “And what's that?”

He moved close, your eyes shutting as his hand wrapped around the nape of your neck. “That I'll never do to you what he did to her.”

There was suppressed rage within him. Sorrow. It rolled off him in waves strong enough that they could drown you. He said earlier that his dad got what he deserved. What had he done to his mom?

“You’re in pain,” you whispered. He was hurting and you logically shouldn’t care. So why did you want to know the cause of that hurt? “You have to tell me why.”

It wasn’t for you to use to your advantage. You weren’t sure if you could manipulate someone else. If you knew what happened though, it would at least give you more answers to who Bucky was and why he was the way he was. It could help you gain some sort of understanding.

“I’m not in pain when I’m with you,” he whispered, bringing your hand on his chest. Was he relying on you to chase away whatever haunted him? “Later. I’ve overwhelmed you enough for one evening.”

You let out a breath. You swore he was doing this on purpose, giving you just enough information that you’d wait around until he gave you more. “I can’t argue with you there,” you said, his heart racing under your touch. “Just answer one thing for me, please.”

“What’s that?”

“Marc from the bookstore,” you began, the man’s kind face shimmering in your mind. “Did anything happen to him?”

“I’d question another man being on your mind, but I know you’re just concerned about his well-being.” An easy smile crossed Bucky’s face as you bit your tongue. You could think about anyone you wanted to. “I can’t speak for him right this second, but he was perfectly fine when you and I left. He was just having a chat with one of my associates.”

You exhaled, thankful Marc wasn't hurt. “What kind of chat?” You asked. He was a nice guy, though he did seem to know a bit about Bucky. What exactly was he involved in?

“He just got a warning to be careful about what he does or doesn’t say to his customers.” You tensed before he kissed your forehead. Did he know about the conversation you two had? “And I don’t think the two of you should be alone with each other in the bookstore going forward.”

Just when Bucky had you feeling some sort of sympathy for him moments ago he shocked you right out of it. “Another decision that isn’t yours to make,” you stated, the car coming to a stop. “And you really don’t have to walk me up. I think we’ve had enough of each other’s company tonight.”

“I said I’m tucking you into bed and that’s exactly what I’m going to do.” The smile he gave you was nothing short of cocky when he added, “And you owe me a photo. I’m going to get it.”

He was a dog with a bone. He wouldn’t let that go. “Why don’t you just take a photo of me giving you the finger?” You suggested as he helped you out of the car.

“Only if you do it with a smile. I’ll even set it as the background on my phone,” he winked. Your reluctance and defiance of him didn’t phase him in the slightest. “And if you give me the finger, I’ll take it as an invitation that you want to fuck me.”

“Let’s go, please.”

You said nothing else as you went into the building, your anxiety mounting by the second. The slow rise of the elevator didn’t help, Bucky’s hip pressed against yours like he couldn’t stand to have space between you. You figure he’d shove you against the wall and claim your mouth, but he didn’t make a move. It impressed you that he behaved until you got to your floor. It didn’t stop your hand from shaking when you got your keys out.

“Still don’t want to say good night now?”

“I don’t want to say good night at all,” he answered, following you into the apartment and turning on the light. The welcoming feeling you expected when you got home wasn't there. There was a chill in the usual warmth.

“Well, you’ll have to sooner or later,” you said, swallowing when you faced Bucky. He shut the door and watched intently as you set your keys and bag down. You were quiet as you stared back, tension thick as you tried to predict what he was going to do. Once again, he managed to hold all the power in your home.

“Have I told you how beautiful you are?” He asked, heat and hunger in his stare as he slowly advanced.

Your throat went dry as you stepped back. “You have.”

“So beautiful and so good.” You made another move to retreat when he stepped forward, his manner confident and compelling as he reached out and prevented you from moving back further. “It’s driving me crazy not having you yet.”

“Please, you don’t…” you trailed off when he sank to his knees, unexpected heat flowing from your core. He guided one of your hands to his shoulder to brace yourself, his eyes soft as he helped remove one of your shoes. You found it difficult to breathe as he removed the other, his hand brushing your ankle with infinite tenderness. Like it was an honor to touch and be on his knees for you.

“I know the first time I taste you I’ll never want to stop. I’ll have to wake up every day between your thighs. Fall asleep that way, too.” His hand slid up your calf and his eyes darkened when your other hand found its way to his thick locks. Wetness gathered between your legs when his touch moved to your thigh. “Your pussy is hungry for me, isn’t it? My fingers, my tongue, my cock. I’ll feed her well.”

His voice was like velvet. Seductive. Aching. “Bucky…” Your breath rushed out swiftly when he kissed your mound through your clothes, tormenting you with arousal you didn’t ask for. It frightened you.

“I can smell you,” he murmured, nosing along where his lips had been before he sat back. “Smell so fucking good.”

Moving your shoes out of the way, he rose to his full height again as you willed your legs not to shake. You weren’t used to anyone looking at you, let alone speak to you, the way he did. Stark desire. Possessiveness. His form of love. Your heart pounded and you refused to answer him or glance down. If you looked at the front of his pants…

He took your hand and pulled you in the direction of the bedroom. Your heart pounded with mounting speed, your heels digging into the floor. “You still haven't kissed me,” you blurted out, hoping it would prevent him from taking you to bed. Or would he take that as an invitation to kiss your lips?

“No, I haven't.” You tried to keep some distance between you as he went to your bed, his hand moving along the blanket. You couldn't breathe. “It scares you how much your body wants mine, doesn’t it?”

“Is that what you think?” You asked, forcing air back into your lungs. It did scare you. It also scared you that you didn’t push him away or scream when he dropped to his knees to remove your shoes. Where was your fighting instinct?

“It is what I think.” The ease in which he moved away from the bed to your dresser to find your pajamas frightened you, too. Like he belonged in your room. You thought back to the night he broke in and left your gift on your bed. How much time did he take to look around? “Like love, giving your body to someone can be scary. You have to trust that you won't get hurt when you’re physically vulnerable.”

“You swore you wouldn't hurt me,” you reminded him.

“And I won't. But you know what else I think?” His magnetic gaze stayed on you as he brought a nightgown over. “That no guy has ever really taken care of you and you’re apprehensive to let me try.”

If you were apprehensive, it was because he was a walking red flag. “What makes you…” Your words stopped when he grasped the bottom of your shirt and pulled it up. Your arms instinctively went up before you realized what you were doing. Removing your shirt, you didn’t get a chance to cover your breasts before he slipped the nightgown on you.

“Your past boyfriends never did anything for you. Emotionally, physically,” he stated, sliding his hands under the nightgown to your hips. Grasping the hem of your pants, he pushed them down as far as he could. “I’ll bet they didn’t even buy you flowers and used the excuse that they didn’t because you’re a florist.”

The words were tiny cuts on old wounds, but you wouldn't give him the satisfaction. “And you will?”

“I will. I’ll give you the life and love you deserve, making you forget any other man out there existed before me.” His eyes raked over you as you stepped out of your pants, your panties still soaked. “But I’m not gonna fuck you.”

Exhaling slowly, relief flooded you. Though you couldn’t help but wonder why he wasn’t trying to take what he wanted. “You won’t?”

“Not tonight.” He shook his head even as his fingers moved along your waist. “Like I said, I’ve overwhelmed you enough. Sleeping with you might really put you over the edge.”

“Thanks.” He desired you, but continued to hold it at bay for your sake. How long would that last? “I appreciate that.”

“And we both know the moment I take you to bed, you’ll be begging for more.” His voice dropped as he toyed with the soft fabric. “And as much as I want to stay in bed with you all night and morning and give us what we both crave, I still need to get things in place at the penthouse and you need rest. You understand.”

You tried not to smile and failed. He acted as if he was doing you a favor. Cocky bastard. “I guess we’ll just have to suffer until then.” Sarcasm continued to be a good way to deflect.

He exhaled at your light teasing, his body still a bit tense. Being close to you and not having you was probably driving him mad. “Maybe we'll have to have another private call and finish what we started. Give us both some relief.” He turned you toward the door and gave you a light swat on your ass. “Go wash your face and brush your teeth before I change my mind.”

You made it to the bathroom in record time, not having to be told twice. You didn’t want to risk staying there in case he lost his resolve. Looking in the mirror as you went through the rest of your nighttime routine, you expected to look more exhausted from the whirlwind of the day. You somehow looked wide awake. Was the experience giving you thicker skin? Or did his desire for you somehow give you a bit of a twisted spark? You’d still be billing him for your future therapy bills either way.

A couple of deep breaths and you made your way back to your bedroom. You paused when you saw Bucky holding a framed photo of you and your friends, longing in his eyes when he lifted his gaze. “You look so happy,” he murmured, carefully setting the frame down on the nightstand before he pulled the blankets back for you. “Can you do me one favor and I’ll go?”

“I was happy. It was a fun day.” You slipped into bed when he gave you space to do so, but his body was still close to yours. Firm. Hard. He really could pin you down and do what he wanted if he wished. “What’s the favor?”

He tucked the blanket around you, his hair falling into his face. You almost reached up to brush it back, but refrained. Who knew what your touch would do? “Look at me like you love me. Please.”

You stiffened as you stared up at his face, your heart simultaneously racing and breaking for him. Love was something that provided a sense of connection, fulfillment. It was a way to show you that you weren’t alone in the world. You wanted to believe you were worthy of love, that you could build a life with someone. Bucky believed he was that someone.

Why?

You weren’t sure if it was his yearning gaze or if you were ready for the night to end, but your expression softened as you imagined meeting him in another life. Going on fun dates, talking about books, making each other laugh as you cooked together, snuggling under a blanket as you talked about your future. You found yourself smiling at the images that went through your mind. What could’ve been. What could be if he lessened his hold a bit on you.

He audibly exhaled when he snapped a photo on his phone, making you blink. “Thank you. Now I can look at this whenever I’m not near you and need to feel your love.”

Words escaped you, the invisible collar around your throat getting tighter. You could only nod and wonder how you kept throwing fuel on the fire of his want for you. Which one of you would burn first?

“Get some sleep. Dream sweet dreams.” You felt featherlight kisses on each eyelid when you shut them. “You know, I’ll sleep a lot easier once you’re in my bed.”

“If you get me into your bed,” you mumbled, refusing to look at him.

“Stubborn kitten.” He chuckled and gave each eyelid one more kiss. Why were his lips so soft? “Maybe I’ll stop by the shop tomorrow so I can take you to lunch. You can tell Addison all about it.”

“Maybe.” You yawned and snuggled more into your pillows. “Good night, Bucky.”

A finger moved along your cheek before it stopped abruptly. “Good night, Kotyonok.”

Bucky still hadn't kissed your mouth.

You didn’t open your eyes as he left, but you didn’t fall asleep right away either. Your body was too wound up. Too many questions went through your mind. Like what happened with his parents and how exactly he’d move you out of your place.

The man was a step ahead in everything. You’d be in his penthouse before the month was over. He’d get his way, but maybe it didn't have to be his way completely. He could give you an area in the place for you and you alone. It wouldn’t hurt to ask. After all, he did say he’d make it up to you by dragging you out tonight.

And if he cared the way he said he did, he could give you that one small thing.

Is our poor Kotyonok starting to accept the inevitable? Will Bucky stop by the shop? And how much longer until he really takes you to bed?Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[hannieehaee]

EUPHORIA

18+ / mdi

summary: you've been inseparable with jungkook from the moment you landed in korea. from the initial language barrier to your group's immense success, you've remained dubbed as an iconic duo. but what will you do when a single moment changes everything between you?

content: idol!jungkook x idol!reader, f2l!jungkook, 8thfemalemember!reader, afab reader, reader is implied to be a foreign member of bts but you can assume all dialogue is supposed to be in korean, pretend this takes place during 2018/19 while they promoted fake love in the u.s, appearances from the other members, pining, miscommunication, dumb insecurities, smut, dry humping, body worship, oral (f receiving), penetrative sex, etc.

wc: 12.5k

a/n: this is a very unrealistic concept but its fanfiction so we're just going to look past that ok!

masterlist | patreon

"That's not how you're supposed to do it."

You sighed, movements halting and your eyes closing in annoyance.

Turning to face the culprit of the comment, you reopen your eyes, ready to snark at the exact person you were expecting.

"Do you have to be the bane of my existence?"

He chucked at that, nodding at you to turn and face the mirror located behind you once more. It was foggy due to the inhuman amount of heavy breathing exchanged in the practice room, but you could still easily make yourself on it. And Jungkook too, of course.

Standing behind you, — with an offensive lack of distance between your bodies — he grabbed onto your arms from behind, helping you position yourself to perfection, even to the exact inch, of the move you were trying to perform. His eyes found yours on the mirror, giving you a short smile before beginning to guide you through the small transition you'd been struggling with.

"See? Like that," he said once finally letting go of you after walking you through it a few times. By the end, you had gotten it as perfectly as your choreographer had described to you a few hours ago.

"Thanks, Kook."

"Thought I was the bane of your existence?", he chuckled as he bent down to collect a water bottle, taking a sip before handing it to you.

You were usually more worried by boy germs than this, but Jungkook proved to be an exception through the past few years.

You swallowed your sip, "Yeah, but I still have manners."

"C'mon, we should head back to the dorms. You've been at this all day. You beat Jimin at hours logged into the practice room this week," it was meant lightheartedly, but it was true. You'd practically been living here for the past few days.

"Where are the guys?", you wondered out loud as you followed him out.

The dorms, as Kook had called them, were really just a small living space located within the building. There were talks of moving onto a larger building within the next couple of years, but for now you were content with your living arrangements. Despite all of you either owning property or having family outside of the company building, you and a few other members usually opted to stay there due to convenience. You and Jungkook were the main ones to do so.

"Well, we technically have the next few days off, so I'm pretty sure they went visit family while they can. We probably won't be back in Korea for a while after promotions start."

It was true. You were soon due to head to America to promote your newest comeback. This was the first time you'd be taking promotions out of Asia and into the west, which made all of you incredibly anxious. As the most fluent English speaker in the group, the task of being the group's representative should've fallen on you, but luckily Joon had decided he'd be taking the brunt of it for you.

Still, you were terrified to open yourselves up for a way bigger audience.

"You good?" Kook interrupted your thoughts.

"Yeah, Kook. Don't worry about it."

The two of you headed over to the elevators, pressing the button leading you to the floor where your rooms were located. It was likely no one else was in the building at this time — holy shit, was it really 3am? — meaning that you and Kook would likely get some well-deserved rest in the privacy of the dorms.

That was one of the few nice parts of belonging to what once was a very small company. You had no sibling groups as of yet, which kind of made you own the place (or at least that's how Taehyung would put it sometimes). Late at night, it was just you and your group mates with the occasional presence of staff. Though more commonly, it was just you and Kook opting to stay together into the depths of the night.

"Nervous about flying to the U.S?", he voiced when the metal doors closed in front of you, caging you in with your friend.

"Maybe. You're not?"

He shrugged, "It's just like any other performance. You should be the least nervous. You speak English. You already know what America's like."

"Me? I'm the only girl in the group. I'm gonna stand out like a sore thumb," you whined, earning a chuckle from him.

It was a rare situation, being a girl in a group full of men. Other co-ed groups existed within Kpop, but they usually held a better boy-to-girl ratio.

But this wasn't really the reason you were nervous.

Opening yourselves up to an entire new audience within a mere five years since debut was an entire new battle you'd have to face. Worst of all was that no other Kpop group had ever truly promoted in the west before now. You were given accolades as trailblazers, but at what cost?

"Hey," Jungkook called your attention again, gesturing you to follow him into the hallway that would lead you to your room, "C'mon, let's find something to take your mind off of this."

Leading you into his room rather than yours, he sat you on his couch as he went back out to peruse the kitchen of any food he could get for the two of you for an impromptu night indulging yourselves. You relaxed as you waited, appreciative of Jungkook immediately noticing your lack of ease and working towards getting you cooled down again.

He always did have a way of being in tune with your emotions that no one else did.

His room was spacious and tidier than the average for a man in his early 20's. It was common for you to spend time here rather than in your own room. You had always been one to wander in search of your bandmates, and Jungkook just so happened to be the most receptive to it of them all.

The click clank of bottles bumping into each other was your first indicator of his return, making you look up from the couch, unable to withhold a smile when you saw him balancing various bottles of soju in his arms while also attempting to carry a few packets of spicy ramen.

Getting up to help him, you aided him in setting down all his snacks on the coffee table, moving aside any remote and controller that was in the way. Your usual set up was established then, as it had countless times before. It consisted of you and Kook on his old couch (that he refused to replace from the old days in which you could barely afford any luxuries) with a variety of alcohol and snacks accompanying you through the night.

He took a seat on the floor while you remained on the couch. It was common for him. Something about being at optimal proximity to the food on the table.

"We've got two more nights left in Korea. What do you wanna do to spend the time? And no, practicing isn't allowed," he interrupted you before you could respond.

You huffed, shoulders slacking before going back to their usual posture, "Well, then I guess just this."

"Just this? My dorm and some soju?"

"Yep. We're going to be overwhelmed by people and schedules as soon as we leave Korea. Might as well enjoy the quiet alone time," you reasoned.

Jungkook hummed in pensiveness, "Does it really count as alone time if it's together?"

"I like my alone time better when I'm with you," was your response.

And you meant it too. The quiet sometimes became too quiet if Jungkook wasn't around. You'd known him since you were 15 and had been unable to imagine an existence without him since.

It was joked around by members and fans alike, that the two of you were attached to the hip. Some people would even call you a dynamic duo due to how often you were together with no distance between you. Of course, you were shipped and speculated as a couple, but that did nothing to deter your friendship.

Had you been a smarter person, you would've noticed Jungkook's bashful smile at your response. But you'd grown so used to his constant company that the idea of anything further than platonic did not compute in your brain. You weren't even sure if you were opposed to it; it was just nonexistent to you. It was as if he'd spawned as your friend one day and you never once stopped to question it.

"Well, let's enjoy it while we can," he finally responded as he handed you a now-opened bottle of soju.

Clanking bottles, you each took a small swing, settling in for a night that you'd likely not spend sleeping. You settled closer to Jungkook after that, letting yourself slide off the couch snd knocking shoulders with him as you took a seat on the softness of the rug under you.

"What do you wanna do to spend your last few nights of freedom?" you asked after some silence.

"I'll do whatever you want," his head fell to your shoulder, "We can just camp in here til they come get us for our flight on Monday."

You hummed in absentminded agreement, sipping at your drink a little more.

Jungkook turned to look at you then, slight bunny smile showing through.

"So, is tonight a blackout drunk night or do you wanna stay up and watch some movies?"

"Hmm. Maybe a mixture?", you suggested.

With a grin, he raised his bottle for yet another clink before taking a drink from it in tandem with you.

~

You spent the next two hours drinking and occasionally eating some of the chips you'd found hidden in Jungkook's secret stash. You'd both been too lazy to cook up the ramen Kook had brought, so you fell victims to drinking on almost empty stomachs. It didn't take long for the two of you to become tipsy.

Not fully drunk, yet very much loose and relaxed, the two of you became lethargic versions of yourselves. You lounged against one another, with any distance becoming nonexistent as you babbled about whatever came to mind.

The two of you discussed worries about the upcoming comeback, your feelings regarding your arrival to the U.S., gossip about mutual friends, and anything that could possibly come up. It went on until the point of exhaustion, though neither of you seemed to want to call it a night.

The clock sat at 6 with some change, but you'd not once gone to sleep to start the new day. You'd talked and laughed through it, forgetting anything else surrounding your life and simply existing with your best friend.

It was probably the most at ease you'd ever felt with Jungkook, and that was really saying a lot.

"Do you ever think about the future?", he asked after an extended period of comfortable silence.

"What future do you mean?"

"After being idols and all. Where do you see yourself?", your head was laying on his shoulder, but he still turned to look at you as he asked, never one to care for lack of personal space.

"I don't know," you responded truthfully, "Never really thought about it. You?"

"I, uh," he shuffled awkwardly a bit, "I'd like to be married, maybe. I always wanted to give my parents grandchildren."

You couldn't help but smile at the thought. Mini Jungkooks running around while the Main Jungkook chased them around. It was easy to picture. He'd always been good with kids.

"That'd be nice," you hummed, "What's got you thinking about that right now? You're only 21."

"Not sure, just ... I don't know, it's dumb, I guess."

"It's not dumb," you reassured, "What were you going to say?"

He hesitated for a moment before answering, but you didn't push.

"I've just never been in a serious relationship. I'm almost 22 and most guys my age have already been in a relationship. Can we even do that? Look at the rest of the guys, none of them have any thoughts on settling down. And I know a few of them would like to someday," he found himself ranting, "I just ... I've always had that childish idea of romance and .. it's something I really want. But I don't think anyone would be willing to put up with this life just to be with me," he sighed, "So it'll either happen when I'm old and dried up, or not at all."

You sat up a bit, turning your head to face him. Your proximity could've been questionable to others, but it was just a regular Tuesday for the two of you. Space was just an unheard concept between you.

"Kook, you know that's not true. Any girl would kill to be with you, you have to know that."

You knew damn well it was true. It'd gotten to the point where a few staff members had to be let go through the past few years, having somehow been betted by the company when their only goal was proximity to him. Even at some point you'd had to cut off friendships that merely used you to get to him.

But you understood. It was Jungkook, after all. Anyone who didn't want him would be an idiot.

"I can count all my serious relationships with zero hands, Y/N. And it's not like it matters anyways. The girl I like wouldn't even look my way anyway," he had whispered the last part, looking away from you and sighing.

"You like someone? Why didn't you tell me?"

You were admittedly caught off guard. You'd known about every single one of Jungkook's crushes and relationships since you'd met. Hell, if he merely found a person pretty, you'd be the first to know about it. What made this one different? And what made it so important to him to have him mourn a relationship he felt he'd never even get to have?

He shrugged, "Makes me feel like a loser, I guess. Not like I wanna parade around telling everyone about the perfect girl for me not even giving me the time of day. It doesn't matter. It'd never work," he shrugged sadly.

That sounded ridiculous to you. Who could possibly not want him? Maybe it was the alcohol, but the thought made you unreasonably annoyed. If she didn't adore him as he deserved, then she sure as hell wasn't deserving of the tiniest bit of his attention.

"Kook, look at me," he obeyed, though lethargically, clearly hesitant in doing so, "Anyone who's not in love with you is a fucking idiot. You're so amazing and so nice and funny and talented and handsome. Anyone would kill to have a guy like you even look their way. God, I'd kill for someone like you."

It was the classic speech you'd give any lovesick friend, but you truly did mean it. Jungkook had always been perfect in your eyes. Sure, you teased and prodded at him whenever possible, but he was an adonis with a heart of gold. What else could a person want from a boyfriend? God, and the mere thought that he felt like he was lacking, like he'd never be able to have the family and the love he always wanted? It made you so incredibly–

Your internal monologue was never completed. Maybe they were just drunken rambles meant for yourself. Perhaps they were a little telling, showing you thoughts about Jungkook you hadn't realized you were so defensive about. But you didn't have time to really internalize that idea before your mouth was interrupted by something that weren't words.

A sigh was released against your lips the very moment Jungkook's connected to your own. It was a flat pressing of lips at first, but it was followed by a shy molding of his lips around your bottom one, a soft peck released against it before he attempted to keep it going.

You were too in shock to move, simply sitting there with your eyes scrunched shut at the sudden act from Jungkook. Without thinking about it, you let your lips relax after a few seconds, returning the kiss in a similarly shy fashion. This was met by an almost inaudible moan from Jungkook along with a harsher pressing of lips.

Suddenly, the smacking of lips filled the room. Your bodies readjusted on the floor for better access to each other and, before you knew it, you were dragged onto his lap with your hands wrapped around his shoulders and his on your waist.

Everything in you went into the kiss, making you completely lose any reason within you as you shamelessly made out with your best friend.

Jungkook didn't seem to mind the sudden shift between the two of you. On the contrary, his moans and sighs of satisfaction gave you the opposite idea. He was thriving for it, attempting to pull you impossibly closer as his tongue explored your mouth.

Once you were finally out of breath, you pulled away, heavy breath interrupted by a few insistent pecks pressed against your lips in an attempt to prolongue the kiss. This made you let out a breathless chuckle, entertaining him for a bit before actually pulling away.

"Mm, no, not yet," he huffed, lips traveling from your cheek to your jaw and eventually landing on your neck, "Let me just ..."

He trailed off after that, hands pressing harshly into your waist to mold you against him so he could get better access to you. His teeth nipped at your skin, sucking at it warmly and then licking coolness into it, ensuring to enjoy you as much as possible. In exchange, you let him do whatever he wanted to you. Your mind was too fuzzy to understand what was going on. The two of you were too lost in each other to think.

Then came even more fuzziness.

Jungkook's hands traveled to your hips, enveloping as much as he could in order to push you up against him. The first time made you both gasp, completely drunk on the barely-there friction. But the first time was followed by the second and the third, continuously increasing in intensity as you humped against each other like animals.

His mouth eventually came to cover yours again, slightly muffling your shared moans of pleasure as your middles met time and time again.

There was a desperation behind your actions. Every single sound you made was met by either a whine or a cry from Jungkook, clearly incredibly affected by you and in turn making you even a bigger mess for him.

"K-kook ..."

"Shhh, just. Fuck, I just- I need this," he sighed before sticking his tongue in your mouth yet again, swallowing every sound that left you.

"N-no, just ... Want more. Please?"

It wasn't like you to beg, but your body simply couldn't ignore the hardness under you. Everything about him in that moment drove you crazy, making you dizzy with desire as the feeling took over you.

Never had you felt like this. Like you'd die if he stopped touching you. Like if you didn't let him take you however he wanted, you'd seize to function.

You'd never done this before, and Jungkook knew this. He wasn't too far experienced, but you knew he had the upper hand here. Except you didn't care. You loved Jungkook and the thought of him being the one you crossed this threshold with made the most sense to you. Your mind and body were screaming at you to let him take you, and you were ready to follow through.

Your love for Jungkook had never felt like this before. It had never manifested in a romantic nor physical way, but these were thoughts you'd put aside for now. This was what you wanted. You were sure.

Your words made him slowly come to a halt, fingers digging into your hips as his breath became even heavier than before.

"You ... Are you sure? I- fuck, I want to, but-"

A kiss interrupted his words. And then another. And then maybe five more. By the time he managed to pull away again, your tongue had made the tour of his mouth a few times over.

"Okay, fuck. Yeah, I- Okay, just ..."

Removing your pants whilst staying on top of him had been a clumsy and shared effort, but the result let you even more empty-headed than before. His hardness was bare and pressing up against the soaked space between your legs.

You hadn't bothered to remove your tops, far too lost in desire to feel a need for it. Consideration for a condom was also put in the back burner (aside from his quick warning of his lack of one followed by your dismissal of it), minds too focused on the urgency to feel each other to truly care about the risks. You were on mandatory birth control and Jungkook wasn't one to sleep around, so the issue was nonexistent to you.

"Oh, fuck. You're so wet," he breathed out when he let his fingers feel around for your readiness.

"Kook, just- just do it. I'm ready, I promise."

He nodded silently, beginning to adjust you so he could lower you onto him. But even knowing what was to come, nothing prepared you for that stretch.

And clearly, he hadn't been prepared for how you'd feel either. Or at least that's the impression his immediate cry of pleasure gave you.

"Oh ... oh, fuck. You feel s-so good, shit," he sighed out, face burying in your neck in defeat.

"K-kookie ..."

"Move, baby. Just like this ... Yeah, fuck, like that ..."

His hands guided you in a mixture of grinding and bouncing, all leading you to a similar fate to his own.

Your face fell against his own neck, crying at the immense pleasure he was giving you. The feeling was like no other. The pressing of dampened skin and the in-measurable level of closeness you felt to Jungkook would've been enough to make you lose your mind, but the added weight of his cock inside you as your clit ground against his pelvis had you rendered boneless above him.

"Mmm, pretty girl ... Such a perfect girl, shit. So fucking good ... what a dream you are," he bit into your shoulder after that, with a muffled whine vibrating into your skin.

Sadly, you couldn't reciprocate such words to him. Not when your mind was mush and unable to process anything other than Jungkook Jungkook Jungkook and the mind-blowing pleasure he was giving you.

"Need you to cum for me, baby. Need ... Need my pretty girl to cum, okay? Let me just ... Y-yeah, shit, that's it. Feel good, huh? So fucking perfect ..."

His hand expertly rubbed at your clit as he leaned further back onto the floor, feet now laid flat so he could begin fucking into you at an increased velocity your brain just couldn't comprehend.

Your cries of his name were embarrassing, but luckily they were mostly drowned out by his kisses, swallowed by his tongue while he occasionally mumbled words of encouragement into your mouth as he coaxed your orgasm out of you.

The perfect harmony of your highs following one another was orgasmic in itself. You had never bothered yourself too much about the lack of sex in your busy life before this, but now you were extra content Jungkook had been your first. There was no way it could've possibly felt like this with anyone but him.

There was some comfortable silence after it all. His warm embrace remained and soft kisses continued to be pressed against your skin. You weren't sure if he continued to offer you loving words for long. Your body didn't withstand too much time conscious after such drain of your energy.

The last thing you remembered before losing consciousness were your own attempts at kissing at the skin of his neck before letting yourself fall asleep against him. You'd reached a level of peace and comfort you never had before, feeling safer than ever as his arms wrapped even tighter against you and his body fell unconscious in a similar manner.

The following morning was immediately filled with intense grogginess. It seemed like your body had kept last night's dizziness but without much memory of how you'd gotten to this point of exhaustion.

You were practically a shell of yourself as you attempted to stretch your limbs without moving from the comfort of the blanket you were currently cocooned in. That's when you suddenly sat up in alarm.

When had you gone to bed? When had you gone to this bed? Because it sure as hell wasn't your own.

And that's when the memories came flooding back.

The first thing you noticed was the absence of the owner of the room, also known as the other participant of last night's events. He was nowhere in sight while you found yourself laid on his bed, far more clothed and clean than you'd been last night. This wasn't your doing, but it was easy to assume that your best friend would be the type of guy to ensure you were cleaned up and safe in bed before such a rendezvous.

The thought made you melt for about five seconds. Up until you remembered you'd now have to deal with the aftermath of it all.

Not only having to face him again, but also figuring out the feelings currently bubbling inside of you — and worst of all, figuring out if those feelings were reciprocated.

But you had to get up at some point. Get up and make your way to the communal area of the dorms where you were sure you'd find the boy you so badly wanted to avoid right now.

Getting up, you realized you were dressed in Jungkook's pajama pants but still donning the sweatshirt you'd had on before. He had preserved your dignity despite having seen you almost naked last night (and fucking you, of course). That was almost the sweetest thing all things considered.

After a quick trip to the adjoined restroom, you tiptoed your way out, scared of bumping into him while also hoping you did.

Peeking out of the doorway, you looked both ways to check for any human presence, finding none before making your way out of the door and into the following room.

"You really don't need to avoid me, you know. I'm not going to jump you or anything."

The sudden voice made you jump, hand coming straight to your heart and gripping at your sweatshirt in shock. You almost fell back, but were caught by a firm body behind you, vibrating in a chuckle at your sudden reaction.

"Dude, announce your presence next time," you huffed, disconnecting yourself from him and facing him.

"Like you did?", he eyed you cockily.

Okay, fair.

"Did you dress me and take me to bed last night?"

This flustered him, causing him to finally break that confident eye contact he'd been torturing you with and looking above you in favor of avoiding your eyes.

"Uh, yeah. I didn't wanna just leave you on the living room floor. Sorry, I-"

"No. Thank you. That was, uh, nice of you."

"Y-yeah, for sure."

A lack of ability to even look into each other's eyes took over the two of you. For two usually confident people, the two of you were acting like two tweens on their first date, which, for be fair, was pretty close to reality.

"I, uh, maybe we could talk about the-"

"Kook! Y/N! Sejin's waiting outside. We have a last minute meeting before tomorrow. You guys have ten minutes or we leave without you!"

The interruption from Namjoon was partially welcomed by you. You didn't really want to face whatever was going on with Jungkook. The loss of your last free day was slightly annoying, but if you could ignore this conversation for a little while longer, you'd take it. Feelings for your best friend were not a can of worms you wanted to open up right now, but specially at such a crucial time in your promotions. Much less did you want to relive the admittedly amazing sex you'd had, it'd just be a distraction.

You turned to Jungkook with a grimace in your face, "Well, guess I should go get ready," you said as you began turning away to go get dressed, only for your hand to be restrained with a soft touch only Jungkook could manage.

"Hey ... But we'll talk later, right? When we land in America?"

His eyes were hopeful, which only made you feel like even more of a terrible person. It wasn't like you actually wanted to avoid him, but you needed to figure out how to progress after such a sudden development in your ... friendship.

You nodded lightheartedly before finally leaving. Your mind was still going a mile a minute, so you didn't really process the face of disappointment Jungkook offered you in return, simply leaving equally as numb.

Two days had passed.

Somehow, for the first time in the many years you'd known Jungkook, you hadn't spoken to him in two days.

It didn't matter what was going on in your lives, whether it be personal or career wise, you'd never gone further than a few hours without speaking. Sleeping with your best friend could have that effect on a relationship, you guessed.

You took all blame for this. It wasn't as if Jungkook hadn't tried. The poor boy had attempted to get you alone, maybe hash things out a bit, but you kept avoiding him. Even when he tried to interact with you as you did before, you'd create distance between you, suddenly seeking out another one of your members in favor of not having to face Jungkook.

If you were hurt by Jungkook's face of disappointment every time you ran away from him, you couldn't imagine how he felt. It had gotten to a point where Jimin and Taehyung would give you weird looks, wondering why Jungkook's emotional-support-bestie wasn't attached to his hip as per usual.

And it had only been two days. It was a testament to how close you were. How out of character it was for the two of you to not be orbiting one another at all times.

So, your first day in the United States had quickly come and gone with no trace of any resolution between you and Jungkook.

It wasn't your first time in the country, but the thought of promoting overseas for the first time still made your fight or flight response malfunction. You felt your body freeze at knowing that you were about to grow bigger than you ever had before. Your sudden popularity after DNA's release had been unexpected, and it would only amplify after all the talk shows and events your company had booked for this comeback.

Jungkook's presence was usually all you needed to calm yourself down. You knew this. It had been infallible in the past five years since your debut. But it was the last thing you could have at the moment. And you blamed yourself.

The memories of your night together invaded you constantly. Jungkook was all you could think about. The way he looked at you before kissing you, as if you were the entire world and more. The softness of his hands on your skin, running through it in such a way that left traces of his touch. The sounds he made when you shared yourself with him at the basest of levels.

These thoughts stole all your focus time and time again. It happened on the plane, while speaking with unsuspecting staff, during dance practice, whilst you recorded content for armys. And it specially happened when Jungkook was nearby. Simply hearing his voice (even when it wasn't directed at you) was enough to bring you back. Even standing next to him during choreo had your skin burning up.

But it wasn't just your body begging for a repeat of that night. Your mind was a whirlwind of thoughts of him. Jungkook was all you wanted and needed, in all ways imaginable.

It was ridiculous, really. How had you not realized this earlier? Why did it take that night for your feelings to come to surface? Why the hell did you even sleep with him in the first place?

Could you take it back, you would never dare. The repercussions of it had you dealing with various mental breakdowns per day, but the moment you shared was not something you could ever convince yourself to give away.

You were currently lacking your main support system, your best friend, but your stupid mind was still somewhat at ease with it. You held hope that things would work themselves out somehow, even if you were terrified to open that can of worms.

Jungkook wasn't one to sleep around, which made the other night's events even more strange. His idea of love had always been quite clear — and extremely romantic, if you said so yourself. He was the clearest example of a hopeless romantic. When he loved, he put every ounce of himself into it, and then some.

But you knew that this was a side of him you would never get to see, and that thought broke you. That was why you cowardly refused to even meet his gaze.

If you were going to get your heart broken, you needed time to internalize what had happened. You needed to process it and get over it, turning it into one of the many mundane memories between you and Jungkook.

Sure, Jungkook was sad at your dismissals, but he'd be fine in the long run. This had been a heartbroken thirst for him, nothing more. Thoughts of his hopeless crush, mixed by the liquor, were the only reason why he ever looked at you with those eyes you wished to forget, but knew you never would.

It hadn't meant anything to him. All he wanted to do was get you alone so he could apologize and clear the air, but you knew that as gentle as Jungkook could be, nothing he could say would prevent your heart from plummeting.

So, maybe you were being selfish, but you knew your friendship would survive this. Your heart was who wouldn't.

~

"You're not getting it. Look, it's like this," Hobi repeated for the nth time — you'd lost count.

After giving you a slow demonstration of the moves in question, he turned back to you with a worried look on his face.

"What's wrong, baby? You're not usually this unfocused," he pouted at you, taking in the exhaustion in your face.

It was now day four in Los Angeles.

You had about five performances at various late night shows, including a debut of Fake Love at the BBMA's stage later this week. There were only a few days allotted for rehearsals before the endless performances and promotion schedules began. The stakes were incredibly high, and you were fucking everything up.

"It's nothing, Hobi. Don't worry about it."

You continued to look down, not wanting to look into his eyes because you knew it'd just break you down enough to seek advice for him. You were never one to brush up your members when they'd check on you. This, however, was an extremely mentally draining situation that you had to deal with on your own.

"What about him?"

Your face finally turned to his, finding him looking past you. You didn't need to turn around to know who he was talking about, but you still did. Upon turning, you found a very forlorn Jungkook on the opposite side of the room, his usual energy lacking as he attempted to coordinate with Jimin's moves.

If there was ever a rare sight, it was that of Jungkook not giving it his all. Whether it be practice or an award show, Jungkook is as always the epitome of an idol. Performing was his heart and soul, which made your current sight even more worrisome.

Your avoidance of him was getting to him, but you just couldn't make yourself face him. By now, he'd stopped even trying to get you alone. It was a lost cause to him, it seemed. Part of you felt deflated by his current lack of trying, but you understood. This was kind of what you'd asked for.

Your main hope was to go through with promotions, let time rid you both of the memories of that night, and finally reconnect, immaturely ignoring what had happened and never even discussing it. It'd go on unresolved, but the cycle of rejection would never complete. This way you'd be hurt, but by omission rather than by the knowledge that you'd been nothing more than an emotional rebound to Jungkook.

He was in love with someone else, after all. You wished to forget about that part of your memories from that night.

"He's fine. We're sorta fighting. It's nothing big, don't worry about it, Hope," you offered him a smile, though it didn't meet your eyes.

His tight smile matched yours, but his eyes showed compassion, understanding you probably didn't want to talk about it. But in usual Hobi fashion, he still continued instigating.

"He's making me sad," he pouted teasingly, "Put him out of his misery."

You sighed, "Fine, I'll talk to him tonight, okay? Just- Show me the move again. No more Jungkook."

You didn't mean it, but you didn't want your brothers worrying over an issue as mortifying as this. That, and you also didn't want them to know you'd fucked up and fallen in love with your best friend.

"I'll hold you to that," he pat your back before facing the mirror again.

With one last look at Jungkook, you surprised yourself when you found him staring back at you. His eyebrows were furrowed and he looked genuinely sad. It made you wonder if maybe it was you who would end up breaking his heart.

Tomorrow was your first interview overseas. It was supposed to be a big deal, an interview and a short performance on Ellen. You'd be the first Kpop group attending.

Despite the pressure of it all, you remained somewhat unworried about tomorrow's schedules. In an eight-member group, you didn't need to worry about the spotlight falling directly onto you. Plus, you had bigger things to worry about.

But you still decided to push it all aside. It was easier to put yourself in an autopilot mode and ignore everything surrounding you. Ignore the thumping of your heart at the thought of opening up to an entirely nee audience. And, of course, ignore the lack of your best friend by your side.

You'd have to pretend in front of the cameras. You'd dance next to Jungkook, acting as if you weren't actively ignoring his existence. You'd have to provide the usual fan-service, though it had never been fake between you. For the first time ever, you'd find yourself acting whilst interacting with your favorite person. The thought was eerie.

With these thoughts in mind, you went to bed, happy your group could afford separate rooms this time around. Sharing with Jungkook would've been your breaking point.

But it seemed the world had other thoughts in mind. A sudden knock at your hotel room kept you from even making it to your bed.

Still clad in your pajamas, you huffed at the interruption. It was only 10:33 at night, but tomorrow would be a busy day. An interruption from Jin or Taehyung to go over to their rooms for a drink wouldn't really help with your current state of mind.

The belief that it'd be an unsuspecting member on the other side of the door prevented you from checking the peephole. You wish you had, seeing as the other side of the door revealed the last person you expected to see.

Jungkook.

You should've known he'd come looking for you sooner or later. But seeing as he'd given up on trying to get you to talk, you assumed he wouldn't.

"Hey," he said, leaning against the door frame. It was likely in a subtle attempt to prevent you from closing the door on him rather than to feign casualness.

"Kook-"

"I'm coming in, okay? Don't try closing the door on my face."

With that, he walked in, giving you no option but to close the door behind him and following him into the living room area of your hotel room.

It was strange to see him like this. So serious and expressionless. The sight of his bunny smile was nowhere to be seen, which was an anomaly in your relationship. The quietness in his person unnerved you. You felt like the same way you did during trainee evaluations, like you were about to get scolded. It was strange for Jungkook to inspire this anxiety in you.

Then he turned around, facing you but not holding eye contact with you for long. His face did not look hurt in the same way it had when you'd locked eyes earlier in the day. He appeared more agitated this time around.

"Jungkook-"

Once more he interrupted you.

But not by talking, no. This time he invaded your personal space, taking slow steps towards you, taking advantage of having taken you by surprise with his unannounced presence. That, and a wall trapping you as you took steps back.

"I know you don't want to talk about it. I ... I can't really understand why, but I'll respect it," he sounded tired as he said it. He took a breath before continuing, "But I can't stop thinking about it."

Up until this point, you'd avoided his gaze, opting instead to keep your eyes on his neck, anywhere else but his eyes. Even as he'd cornered you against the wall, — with one arm extended on the wall to keep himself leaning over you and another shyly toying at the length of your oversized shirt — you attempted to ignore what was happening, despite your body naturally responding to him.

"And I don't think you can either. That's why you've been avoiding me, right?", his hand went to trace your jaw softly, subtly tilting your head towards his, "That's why, for the first time in five years, you've been giving me the silent treatment."

"It's not that ...", you tried.

"But it is, isn't it? If it'd been a once and over, you wouldn't care. You'd just move on," his face lowered, breath now landing on your neck, "But you can't."

"You can't ignore this," his hot breath against your ear made you shiver, "You want it too, don't you? Can't stop thinking about it?" his hands snuck under your shirt, familiar fingertips running through the skin, "Can't function? Me too ... Can't fucking think about anything but you."

"Jungkook ..."

"Please," he pleaded

His lips began pressing at the curve of your neck, up and down its length, occasionally suctioning lightly enough as to not leave a lasting mark. The wetness of his tongue soothing behind its track gave you goosebumps.

"I know ... I know we haven't talked about it, but ... I just need you. Please say yes. I'll- It doesn't have to mean anything."

If only he knew those were the last words you wanted to hear.

And as much as you wanted to put a stop to this, to scream at him and tell him how you felt, damning any consequences for your friendship, you stood frozen. Or well, you stood limp, willing to let him take you as he'd done less than a week ago.

You nodded, sighing when he kissed that spot on your neck he'd so quickly found last time. That was when your hands began reciprocating, holding him against you to ensure he'd never go away. It was a great contrast to a mere five minutes ago, but your body couldn't help itself.

His hands mirrored yours, wrapping themselves around you and holding onto every curve they could find. There was a certain desperation to his touch, only amplifying by the second. Your bodies molded together as he continued to kiss and suckle at your neck, making his way to your lips.

This kiss didn't need any buildup. It was immediately heated, carrying the frustration that'd been weighing over the two of you for the past few days. Jungkook groaned while you mewled into his lips, hand reaching the back of your knee to lift your leg and hold it against his waist. You wrapped it around the dip of his waist, needing him as close as humanly possible.

A desperate sigh was released into your lips at the first grind of his hips against yours. It was slow and calculated, as if feeding a sick hunger he'd built for you. None of it felt meaningless, even if you knew that deep down it was. At least to him.

"Couldn't stop thinking about you ..."

Those were the first words mumbled against your lips.

"Want you again. Please? Just like this ... It'll be so good, I promise," he continued to plead.

It was laughable how wrong he had the situation. You knew it'd be good. God, you knew it'd leave you reeling for twice as long as the last time. It'd have you pining and suffering through every second that he wasn't as yours as he was during these carnal moments. But still, you whined some pathetic excuse for affirmation and let him prepare you.

His eyebrows were furrowed as he moved pulled your pajama shorts down, once again leaving you in just your shirt as he took himself out.

Sex whilst almost fully clothed. Again. Did you really need more indication that Jungkook did this out of sheer need?

Despite the constant alarms going off in your head in attempts to protect yourself from impending heartbreak, you never once stopped him. Because you wanted this. If this was all you could have while he found his one perfect true love, you'd be willing to be a stand-in for him.

When he entered you, you finally felt at ease. It was embarrassing how easy it'd been, how ready you'd been to receive him despite no prior preparation.

"F-fuck. You feel so good ..."

You sighed at that. Yes, you loved making him feel good.

"'m gonna move now, okay, gorgeous?"

Gorgeous ...

You mewled, fingers digging into his arms and nodding desperately.

He wasn't rough in a way you'd expect a sudden booty call to be. You knew you weren't exactly a booty call, but that's the closest definition you could find for your relationship at the moment. Instead, he fucked you in a similar fashion to last time — desperate, needy, but with a sense of control that told you every movement was calculated.

To any outside perspective, you must've looked like the epitome of passion. Molded against each other, both pairs of hips insisting on constant connection through needy humps. The available slivers of skin showing were shiny with perspiration and affected by the friction of your touches. There was a desperate need behind every touch, every word.

"Hmph, fuck, shit. God, you're so perfect. Needed you so bad ..."

"Didn't think I could ever feel this good, fuck."

"So fucking perfect for me, oh, god."

"T-that's it ... Oh, so tight for me, such a good girl for me."

His words made you lose your mind. Unlike him, no words could leave your mouth. They were all incoherent babbles as he murmured directly into your ear. All your senses were lowered to zero. You were completely malleable to his words, to his touches.

"'m gonna cum, baby, need ... need you to cum with me, yeah?"

A hand went to your clit. It was an awkward angle, standing up, but Jungkook made it work. He made it work far too well, immediately getting your eyes rolling back.

"F-fuck, Kook, I-"

"I know, shit. With me, okay? Just- Y-yeah, fuck .."

You tightened around him as he came, causing him to fall back against you with endless groans of pleasure. That's when your orgasm finally came to you, joining him in the bliss. It was all very messy, being filled up by him and leaking down to the shorts you hadn't fully discarded. Your pajamas were completely crumpled by now, and your neck likely red and purple with splotches from his teeth. But the orgasmic bliss made up for it all.

Jungkook remained inside you, taking in the silence for a few moments. Your heavy breaths synchronized, their harmony ending abruptly when Jungkook pulled himself out of you with a groan.

He winced at the mess he'd made of you, quickly fixing himself up before heading over to the restroom of your hotel room to gather some stuff to clean you up with. During his absence, you stood there feeling like an idiot. Your heart plummeted once again at the remembrance that things would go back to how they were before, except maybe worse.

When he returned, he did so with a shy version of his usual bunny smile. It was hard not to return it. Had you been feeling anything less than like an absolute idiot, maybe you would've. But you just stood there as he cleaned you up, avoiding eye contact as you'd done these past few days.

"Hey, uh, I'm sorry I came so unexpectedly. I- I love you, you know that, right?", he finally said after some hesitation.

That made it worse somehow.

"I know you don't want to talk about it, but ... I'm here, okay? I'll be ready to talk about it whenever you are. I just, uhm, I need to know we're okay. I'll give you as much space as you need, just, please tell me we're still friends."

There was sad desperation in his voice. God, every word he spoke just made everything hurt even more.

You couldn't speak. You'd found your ability to speak leaving you any time it concerned this topic. So, instead you took a step and closed all distance, wrapping your arms around him in a hug you'd been needing for far too long. Immediately, he returned it.

"We're friends, Kook. Always."

True, even if it destroyed you.

You felt him smile against your hair, pressing a soft kiss to it.

The events of your promotions went as planned. Four days later and you were now practically done.

The only silver lining of this whole situation was that it had occupied your mind so much that you'd forgotten any anxieties you felt over your American promotions. You'd performed perfectly, as had all your members. Somehow, you'd managed to become an empty shell of yourself, just doing as expected while on camera and deflating once you were alone, still haunted by memories of Jungkook.

You hadn't spoken since that night (shocker). This time it had been more of a mutual agreement. It hadn't been a formal thing, but you'd both kept your distance. If the guys noticed, they didn't interfere, for which you were grateful.

Tomorrow was your last night in America. You'd just made it back home from the BBMA's, having been the first Kpop group to attend and scoring a record-breaking amount of views for the show. That, and a reward. The carpet had been fun, just like every other moment in which you'd been able to mingle with artists you'd watched since your youth.

It was nice to pretend nothing was wrong between you and Jungkook whilst there. Any other public appearances before tonight's had been too brief for the two of you to even interact, which had made it easy to ignore what was happening. But tonight you'd spent the entire night together while hundreds of cameras recorded your every move. Almost like performing off-stage.

Somehow, you'd both understood what to do. It was as if nothing had happened. You laughed, you talked, you interacted the way you would've before any of this. The cameras caught onto your genuine friendship, displaying it for all those present to see.

So, when you made it back to your hotel room, it wasn't surprising when you found that your names were trending on Twitter.

It might've been idiotic of you to do so, but you decided to scroll through your names. They'd been trending together. Y/N and Jungkook. Not your names by themselves, but together.

Non-fans questioned the chemistry between you, the longing looks, as they called them. Short screen-recordings of your interactions on stage, easily translating onto the red carpet. The trends were filled with the two of you, with far too many new people wondering if there was something going on behind the scenes.

Your fans confirmed and denied it. Some were sure the two of you had more going than meets the eye. While others believed maybe something would happen someday, but they respected your current label of friends.

Friends. That felt miserably laughable at this moment.

The truth was that you didn't know your current label. Were you even friends anymore? Maybe friends with benefits? Or maybe, after all of this, just bandmates.

When you first made it back to the hotel, you'd all celebrated your win on V-Live with your fans as you usually did. The live itself was short-lived, usually expanding for hours after turning off the camera. However, you'd opted to call it an early night this time around. The immediate contrast between performing for the cameras and going back to your reality was not something you wanted to deal with at that moment.

Despite some worried words from the boys, you reassured them you were fine, encouraging them to keep drinking amongst themselves. You ignored Jungkook's immediate reflex to try and follow you. He must've remembered your current situation, sitting himself back down and looking solemnly at his drink, clearly avoiding eye contact.

Kissing a few of the members goodnight, you left, planning to spend a lonely night in your room, which was what you were currently doing. Sleep wouldn't find you, so you just moped at your phone screen, wishing that your fans' words would manifest into reality. That you truly did have some sort of relationship with Jungkook you had to hide from the cameras.

After a few hours of self-pity, the most predictable thing happened. Jungkook came knocking on your door.

He'd taken a surprisingly longer time than you'd anticipated.

Opening the door, you found a mixture of frustration and confusion on his face.

"It's four in the morning, Jungkook."

But he didn't care for your comment, walking in decidedly, just like he'd done last time.

He turned to you, giving you no time to complain about his behavior.

"We need to talk. I know I said I'd respect you if you needed distance, but I just can't do this anymore."

"Wow, it took you a grand total of four days to break," you couldn't help the sarcasm.

"Believe it or not, but going four days without talking to my best friend fucking sucks," he scoffed, "And it wasn't only four days. You haven't spoken to me in over a week. The other night doesn't count, we-"

"We what, Jungkook? We fucked?"

Your tone was biting. It was frustration you'd never expressed towards your best friend. His reaction mirrored that sentiment, backing down slightly at your irritation.

"It's not- It wasn't like that."

"Then what was it? God, you know what? I can't even blame you. I should've just told you to fuck off when you ambushed me with sex. Again."

What you were saying was so unfair. You were deflecting despite knowing the blame was shared. You continued to be a horrible friend to him.

"I thought that was what you wanted. You were the one ignoring me. I tried! You kept pushing me away. You never gave me a chance after that first night," his voice never raised, but there was agitation behind it.

"Because I never intended for any of it to happen! You're the one who kissed me in the first place! You instigated it. Both times."

Hurt reflected on his eyes at that first sentence. He recovered quickly, instead furrowing his eyebrows in frustration, but you'd caught onto it. Your stomach churned at it. This was not what you wanted to happen at all.

"You- did you even miss me at all? Was it that easy for you to just push me away with no plans of ever talking to me about it? About how you felt? — If you even felt anything. I know this was all just some stupid inconvenience to you, but- God, did you even think about my feelings?"

The truth was that you didn't. You put your own emotions above his own, immaturely avoiding the subject in order to preserve your own feelings. Since that first night, you knew that you'd be the one getting hurt the most, so you did everything in your power to avoid any resolution that would leave you as heartbroken as you felt now.

You remained silent, eyes watering and unknowing of what to say. He was in a similar state, face giving you every telltale sign that he was doing his best to hold back tears.

But he also looked angry. Something you'd never seen before.

"What, you're not going to say anything?," he scoffed, "I know I fucked up, I ..." he hesitated, face morphing into a softer version of itself before reverting back to anger, continuing to speak decisively, "I never should've slept with you, but I tried to make things right and, and you just didn't care at all. You were so-"

You stopped listening then.

That was it.

He had finally broken the dam.

Unlike Jungkook, you'd never been much of a crier. It was a nice contrast you had between the two of you. He was the more sentimental one, leaving you to a more stoic role. You could count on one hand the amount of times in which Jungkook had had to dry your tears rather than the reverse.

So you understood why seeing you suddenly break down in tears immediately stopped him halfway through his angry rambling. He swallowed his words, letting a surprised whimper escape his lips.

Within mere seconds, you were engulfed in his arms, one strong arm holding you against him and the other caressing at your hair in a soothing manner.

Your head was spinning and you couldn't stop yourself from gasping out desperate breaths into Jungkook's chest. You'd be embarrassed if it was anyone else, but Jungkook made you feel safe. Even under these circumstances, you were glad he was here.

"Baby, I- I'm sorry, fuck. I didn't mean to make you cry. I'm so sorry, I- I love you, please don't be sad. I love you so much. All I want is to make you happy," he rambled on and on. You weren't able to catch everything due to your crying.

His words just made it worse. Platonic love was all you'd ever needed from him, but your unjust heart wanted more than that right now.

"Jungkook, stop. Don't say that. Not right now."

You separated yourself enough to look up at him, finding his eyes equally bloodshot and immense worry in his features.

Before he could argue with you, you shut him up again, taking a breath to ensure you could speak without suddenly sobbing again.

This was the moment of truth. You'd already ruined everything, might as well go all the way.

You gulped, taking a step back and forcing yourself out of his arms before beginning your lame excuse for a speech. You hadn't planned for a confession tonight, but here you were.

"I'm sorry. You're ... you were right. We shouldn't have slept together."

Repeating the words that had inspired your crying gave you a bitter taste in your mouth.

"But I shouldn't have treated you the way that I did. I was afraid you'd reject me after, uhm, after I-" you held back tears, knowing there was no going back from this, "after I realized I was in love with you. That that night was more than some stupid tipsy mistake. You were sad and ... and heartbroken over your love life, uhm, over that girl you like," your voice cracked at the memory, "and I should've stopped you before things went too far. I always had the power to stop you, but I just ... I didn't want to. From the first time you kissed me, I wanted more. I thought that if I avoided you, we could pretend it never happened and that I'd never have to tell you. I thought that way you'd never reject get the chance to reject me," you sighed sadly, "It was wrong. I'm sorry, Jungkook."

You'd looked down at your feet the whole time, refusing to meet his eyes. Your body was cowered into itself. The usual confidence you carried with you was nowhere to be seen. Your person was as bare as it'd never been before, laying out the most vulnerable feelings you'd ever beheld. And the utter silence emanating from Jungkook did not help matters at all.

Finally braving a look, you lifted your head to face him again, not caring for the tears running down your face nor the snot covering your nose.

You found him with his head in his hands, unmoving. The sight unnerved you.

Despite your own heart breaking at your unrequited love, Jungkook's heart took priority. You'd already made the mistake of putting yourself first once, but not again.

You closed the distance again, doing for him what he'd done for you before and attempting to embrace him in a hug. You'd offer him any comfort possible, knowing you'd been the one causing his suffering.

As you went to hold his large frame in your arms, you were stopped, suddenly finding two large hands softly holding onto your cheeks and bringing you towards his face. Before you could even gasp, your lips were occupied by a desperate kiss.

Frozen in place, you let him kiss you, unknowing of how to get your body to respond. And, god, did he kiss you. You'd never felt such emotion behind a kiss, not even that first night when Jungkook had practically begged for you to let him continue.

Against your better judgment, you finally began to kiss back, hands going to any piece of him they could get a hold of in order to keep him as close as possible. Your mouth opened, letting him lick into it and trap your tongue with his.

"It's you. I love you. Fuck, I love you," he growled between aggressive kisses, "Want you. Want you, please."

That's when he pulled away. He remained close, noses touching as he breathed you in, lips torturously close as they attempted to not fall into the temptation of another kiss.

"It was you. You're the girl I like- I love. You're who I want my future with. Everything I said about a family? Kids? It was you. I need it all with you," there was nothing but sheer desperation behind his words. His eyes were glued to your lips, and his hands had found their way south and settled on your waist, fingers insisting on pushing you as close to him as humanly possible, "When we- when we slept together. That ... God, that was a fucking dream. I didn't know what to do, I- I knew it didn't mean anything to you, I mean, I assumed. So when you didn't want anything to do with me, I just went back to you again. I thought, uhm, that if I couldn't have you the way I wanted, I could at least have you like that one more time. I'm sorry, I- I never imagined that you'd, you know, like me. Do you? Fuck, sorry, I just need to hear it again. To be sure."

Through the remaining tears, you laughed, nodding as you confirmed your feelings for him.

"Yes, Jungkook. I love you. I lo-"

In usual Jungkook fashion, he interrupted you again, this time squatting a bit before pressing his hands to the backs of your thighs and lifting you. Naturally, you wrapped your legs around his waist, letting him whisk you away further into your hotel room. The tears were soon replaced by whimsical laugher. The two of you were on a high as you landed messily on the bed, immediately going back to kissing and touching as if you'd burn if you didn't.

"Fuck, love you so much. Never gonna stop saying it now," he mumbled between kisses.

His hands were on a frenzy, lifting up your shirt enough to get access to your skin, insisting in throwing it off immediately after. His went in tandem, letting your burning skin make contact for the first time.

The rest of your clothes joined, leaving the two of you fully nude within minutes of landing on the bed. It was full of desperate caresses, occasionally interrupted by traces of admiration against the other's skin.

"Gorgeous. Prettiest girl," he sighed after calming down a bit. His eyes told you he still hadn't gotten his fill of you, but he was a total romantic, he needed to take a moment to appreciate you.

"I've had a crush on you since I saw you, did you know that?" needy fingers went up to your breasts, tracing them softly, "Thought you were the coolest, prettiest girl I'd ever seen. Tae didn't let me live it down for years," he chuckled at the memory.

"Should've told me, you idiot," you managed to let out through his fondling of your body.

"Don't call me that right now, baby. Be nice. I've had a terrible week," he mumbled between kisses against your breasts.

"Mm, I wonder why," you barely managed to laugh amidst your sighs of pleasure.

"You laugh now, but you'll see."

You were about to let him have it, but he distracted you with his lips on yours. Time and time again. His toned skin felt like a dream against yours, rendering you unable to keep your hands off him. It seemed like he felt similarly about you, as his hands kept moving from one curve to another, thumbing at the skin with need.

The ruffling of sheets and a mixture of muffled groaning were the only sounds to be heard in your lonely hotel room. At four in the morning, you found yourself writhing in your bedsheets, body contorting to that of your best friends' as his fingers traveled down to your middle, knuckle pressing into that spot that had your back arching impossibly closer to his chest.

After torturing your clit for a bit, Jungkook finally made his way down your body, kissing at every inch of available skin. He took his time, leaving love bites at what you assumed to be his favorite places, even nuzzling against your skin in a softness slightly out of character considering the context.

"You're so fucking soft, baby. You'll never get rid of me now, you know that, right?", he looked up at you with an incredulous smile, nose scrunching at the smile you have him in return.

"Don't worry, Kookie. I plan on keeping you around."

He chuckled, biting his lip and continuing his path downward, soon finding himself at your thighs. Strong arms opened up your legs to open his way to your middle, fingers tracing their way down to the back of your knees to push them up to get them out of his way. When satisfied with your position, he began kissing at your thighs, mumbling unintelligible words between smooches.

You simply enjoyed the love he gave you. Only a few moments with him and you'd already forgotten any misery you'd put yourself through this past week. Every touch, every look, every word, you lived for every single one. You were barely conscious by then, with your hold on his hair being the only thing to keep you grounded.

It was when his nose first nudged at your cunt that you truly lost yourself.

That thing they said about men with big noses? Well it was true.

And unfortunately, Jungkook took note of the effect he had on you immediately, deciding to use his nose to torture your clit while his tongue delved into your wetness. He was eager with it too, moaning and groaning into your pussy while his hips shamelessly humped at the bed.

"Fuck, baby," he huffed, "Just like that, shit. Use my face, I'm all yours anyway ..."

You hadn't realized that you'd been humping at his face, but you took that as not only permission to continue, but encouragement to not stop. At that point, it truly became a mess. Almost a competition to see whether he'd make you cum with his tongue, or if you'd grind on his face until completion.

And as per usual, Jungkook won. For every cry you let out, his fervor doubled. It was as if he was pained by not giving you pleasure. His cries and whines into your cunt only increased in tone, higher as you approached your end.

"Kook, fuck. I'm almost there, don't stop," your fingers tightened their hold on his hair, "Yes, fuck, just like that ..."

Once more, he took this as a challenge, pulling at all stops to make you cum. His tongue took turns between licking into you and circling your swollen pearl, even sneaking in a hand to toy at you with his fingers. It wasn't long until you finally gave in to your orgasm, body buzzing under his while he refused to give you a break.

Even through the sensitivity, Jungkook didn't let go. He continued sucking and licking at you, chuckling when your attempts to pull him away finally clicked. He mumbled out an apology, sitting up on his knees to find his way back up your body.

"That was-"

But he interrupted you by shoving his tongue in your mouth for the nth time tonight. And you, not being an idiot, responded accordingly.

He hadn't bothered to wipe at his mouth before kissing you, meaning that you were currently licking your own essence out of his tongue. It was a depraved and disgusting kiss. At some point it could barely even be called a kiss, consisting of sucking at each other's tongues, teeth clacking, and bodies morphing at every connection of lips.

With no necessary warning, Jungkook's hips began desperately connecting with yours, hardness eventually finding a home in the space between your legs, close to where you wanted him but not close enough. Surely, you'd chafe tomorrow, but Jungkook's needy whines of pleasure made any repercussions worth it. You'd do anything he wanted to ensure he felt good.

"Baby, I need ... I need to be in you. Can I? You're ready for me, right, beautiful? Hmm?" he was frantic as he spoke, wide eyes staring into your hazy ones.

"Anything you want, Kookie. Need you in me so fucking bad."

He thanked you with a kiss, finally inserting himself in you with a groan, sighing out when he finally sunk into your warmth. Uselessly, he took a few moments to let you adjust, but corrected his mistake when you wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him closer in a silent demand for more.

"I'll give it to you, baby. I'll give you everything."

And he did. No further warning was needed when he began to piston into you. Groaning into your ear, his hips lost control against you, causing that harsh slapping sound of skin you'd gotten so used to with him.

"Shit, just like that, Kookie. So- so big."

"Hmm, yeah? But I fit so well in this pretty cunt. Made for me, huh? My pretty cunt."

He babbled incoherencies, unable to stop praising you as he made intense love to you. Gasps left his lips, needy fingers attempting to pull you closer to no avail. When he became too desperate to have you as close as humanly possible, he opted to lift your legs higher, having them wrap on his shoulders rather than his waist.

This new angle had you writhing in incomprehensible pleasure, hands clawing at his back, completely careless of the marks you'd leave behind. It only became worse when he readjusted just slightly, his tip beginning to hit that spot inside you that had you almost passing out.

"R-right there! Oh, right there, please! Don't stop, don't stop, I'm almost there, fuck, please!"

You hadn't realized your words would have him losing himself along with you. You saw his eyes roll and his jaw tighten before he finally let go. His warmth filled you up quickly after that, nudging your orgasm out of you with a harmony of cries of each other's names.

The end marked itself when he let himself drop onto the bed, falling beside you as he simultaneously pulled you into his chest. A soft kiss was left on your hair when you accepted his embrace, cuddling to his side despite the damp sweat covering him. You were probably just as sweaty anyway.

"Well, that was incredibly dramatic," you broke the silence.

He whined your name in return.

"Let me catch my breath before you get all cynical."

"You love my sense of humor."

He laid on his side, turning to face you, hands wrapping tighter around you.

"I love literally everything about you. Did you need me to give you another demonstration? Because give me five minutes and I'll-"

A kiss shut him up.

"God, you're so obsessed with me," he snickered.

"Yeah, whatever. Don't get used to it."

He buried his face in your chest after that, pressing a few kisses there. He couldn't help himself, it seemed.

"Nope, I think I'll get used to it. I might have to move into your skin, this isn't nearly close enough," he joked.

After a very brief silence, his lips made their way up to your own, sighing against you as he kissed you.

"I really missed you."

God, he made it so hard to not melt for him.

"I missed you too. I love you."

"I'm going to need to hear that every ten minutes for the next month to compensate for the past week," he demanded.

You pretended to be annoyed by the task, but actually brimming inwards, wanting to go on live at this very moment and let everyone know you'd bagged Jeon Jungkook.

But you decided to be cool about it.

"Fine, whatever."

His bunny smile told you he accepted your answer, but his subsequent attack on your face with endless, childish kisses said otherwise.

The very few hours of the night that remained were spent like this. After cleaning you up, Jungkook ensured his hands never left your body at any point, something which you had no issue with. Far too many confessions of love were shared, but they all felt just and necessary.

You were content. The nerve wracking week had ended, leaving you with more than you could've ever asked for.

to read short 1.8k word continuation (+ all other previously written bonus content) you can go join my jk monthly tier on patreon!

content: afab reader, smut, semi-public sex, getting caught (kind of), teasing, penetrative sex, etc.

wc: 427 (teaser); 1834 (full drabble)

sneak peak:

"We really should've added some clause against inter-group dating when we signed out contracts."

Everyone else in the room sighed in agreement.

Well, everyone but the two of you.

While everyone else was miserable at the sight of you cuddled up in some corner of the practice room, you and Jungkook remained in your own world. Nothing could knock you out of it when you were in this state of mind.

After the mess that happened between the two of you, the constant miscommunication and intolerable pining (Tae's words, not yours), being with Jungkook unapologetically was the most stress-relieving feeling in the world.

The guys didn't actually dislike the sight of you together. You both knew this. It was a mixture of teasing and the natural annoyance inspired by yours and Jungkook's honeymoon phase. It was a small price to pay for the ability to be with your boyfriend/best friend at all times.

"You're just jealous," Jungkook threw back at Taehyung, who just huffed in return.

"They cheated the system. No one will ever suspect they're dating when they've always been this ... touchy," Jimin added, eyes narrowing at you as he walked by.

You simply stuck your tongue out at him, causing Jungkook to giggle by your side.

"Are you guys planning on practicing at any point or are you just going to harass us with your pda all day?"

This time it was Joon who spoke. His tone was that of a fed-up elder brother, which was pretty much what he was at that moment.

To be fair, you had been lazing around today. The two of you were usually quite quick at picking up the choreo, so after a few hours of practicing it one-on-one last night, you'd opted to take it easy today. Clearly, this was not appreciated by your group mates.

"Can we leave, then?", Jungkook perked up.

"Please!," you weren't sure which of the six guys had said it, but you did know it had been more than one.

Gaping at them, you were about to rip them a new one. Why were they so allergic to the two of you being together? They'd been the ones rooting for you from the sidelines! They'd-

"Hell yeah."

Jungkook interrupted your thoughts, using the strength he usually didn't realize he had to help you get up, dragging you towards the exit far too eagerly. Even when you attempted to turn back, eyeing the 95 liners who were currently laughing at you, Jungkook stayed disinterested, seemingly wanting nothing other than some privacy with you.

...

find the 18+ continuation on patreon!

if you have trouble finding it on there, just let me know!!<3

[jj-one]

9:20 AM.

Jungkook (your boyfriend) knew exactly how to make you feel good, only he knew how to please your body.

pairing: bf!Jungkook x gf!reader genre/tags: smut, fluff, teasing, dom!jungkook x sub!reader, marking, jungkook has a tongue piercing, fingering, oral (f. receiving), mentions of crying (from pleasure), female orgasm words: 1.2k

**old repost from my deleted blog

You were excited for your boyfriend to come back home from his morning jog. You woke up after he did and he left the cutest little handwritten note on the refrigerator. It said on the note that he went out for his morning jog and is heading to the market after to pick a few things up for tonight’s dinner. You smile at his note and thought it was so sweet how he could’ve just sent a simple text but wanted to go the extra mile by handwriting a note for you. Deciding to do your own thing while he’s gone, you pick a romantic comedy movie to watch on Netflix to pass the time. Patiently waiting for Jungkook to arrive back home, you heard the door suddenly unlock and hurry to get up to go leave out of your room.

“JUNGKOOK!” You shout eagerly, almost pouncing on him once he gets through the door.

“Y/n, my baby girl,” He greets you back with a doting smile, wrapping his arms around your waist, encasing himself into you.

You wasted no time to start kissing him, immediately going in to grab his pretty face with both of your hands, crashing your lips into his. He must’ve been thinking about doing this all day because once you two start making out, he carries you straight into both of your guy’s bedroom and places you gently onto the bed.

Jungkook knew exactly how to make you feel good, only he knew how to please your body. He’d begin by peppering your jaw and neck with a plethora of kisses, leaving a faint trail of hickies behind. He’d also be rubbing your inner thigh with his large hands that always turn you on every time you look at them. The prominent veins on his hands and arms when he flexes just a teensy bit is enough to make you cum in your panties.

“I love you so much,” Jungkook murmurs against your skin, still kissing and sucking on your neck as if he’s a vampire.

“Love you too koo— fuck…” Your response was interrupted by what he was doing to you next. Jungkook’s tattooed hand makes its way down to the tight shorts you were wearing. The shorts were pink and had a cute hello kitty design on them, Jungkook was the one who bought them for you actually. He’s always loved seeing you in the clothes he bought for you over the years, acting like a little kid on Christmas.

Jungkook is rubbing you over your shorts and the friction is driving you absolutely insane. You can just feel how wet you’re becoming, the juices from your heat start to overflow; seeping through your panties and he feels you throbbing on his fingers. He’s got a sinister look on his face and you already know that means you’re in for something amazing to make your morning.

“Sheesh baby, look how wet your pussy’s getting…” Jungkook looks in awe, hissing at the sight of a giant wet spot forming in your panties after he took off your tight skimpy shorts.

Jungkook begins caressing, kissing, and licking your lower body, touching every curve and crevice of you, not missing a single spot. His touch is so gentle, so warm, so inviting. His tongue rolls along the inside of your thigh, the steel metal of his tongue piercing feels cold but the sensation tingles down your spine. Flinching from the action he performed, he notices straight away, eyebrows raised in a sudden stir of confusion.

“You okay baby?” He asks softly before continuing, wanting to make sure nothing he did hurt you.

“Y-yes, just feeling a little sensitive that’s all…” You say quietly.

You feel him smile against your soft flesh, planting more wet kisses against yours thighs and laid his head there for a while to feel your warmth.

“I could be like this all day y’know?” He basks in your presence, speaking in a mumbled tone, half his face still buried in your thighs.

“I know koo.”

Jungkook raises his head a tiny bit just to face your clothed pussy again. He couldn’t stop smiling like an idiot, bringing his face—specifically his nose, closer to you to get a whiff of your sweet aroma. He practically buries his nose into your panties and drags it down your slit.

“You smell so good..” He was intoxicated by your scent, loving the natural, but fragrant essence.

He licks a stripe to your clothed core, making you moan out loud and bring your hand to latch onto his fluffy hair. You love to play with it and make it a mess of his hair after he’s done giving you the best head of your life.

“You taste really good too babe,” Jungkook couldn’t get enough of you, he was literally drunk off your pussy.

You were so desperate for him to take your panties off as you were starting to make more of a sticky mess in them but he seemed to be enjoying it more that way. He wanted to prolong the action of coming into contact with your bare pussy. He wanted to tease you so much until you were begging for him to touch your clit. You wanted nothing but his tongue against your wet folds right now.

“J-jungkook…” You mutter so lowly, he almost couldn’t hear you.

“Hmm, what’s my name baby?” He asks while still teasing your entrance, now sliding one of his fingers inside your floral panties.

“Jungkook!” You moan louder this time, feeling somewhat better that you’re almost getting to where you want to be.

“Want you to scream my name for hours, can you do that for me babydoll?” He asks in a serious tone, pushing his finger in and out of your soaked cunt.

You nod submissively, “o-okay daddy..” arching your back against the bed from the amazing feeling, Jungkook knows exactly how to use his fingers on you.

He kept fingering you harder and deeper until you look him in the eyes and visibly start to tear up from all the pleasure he’s giving you. It’s so good but so unbearable at the same time. He made you feel like you were in heaven, crying out his name, just saying “Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook” on repeat whilst he’s finger fucking you. He’s scissoring your tight hole from the inside out and your juices were now running so far down your legs. You were super close to your orgasm and he could tell by the contorted face you were making.

“Jungkook… Jungkook.. fuck I’m gonna cum!” You scream for him, eyes rolling to the back of your head and your vision was going insanely blurry.

“Yeah baby that’s it, just relax…cum for daddy,” Jungkook coaxes you through it, encouraging you to reach your high but still adding slight pressure to your clit. You couldn’t take it anymore, just letting go and being in eternal bliss as you reached your climax. You moaned his name a couple more times and he called you his good girl for cumming when he told you to. You went back to making out and he was now massaging your boobs.

“You’re really horny today, huh?” You ask Jungkook, stifling a giggle at his overly naughty behavior.

“The real question should be when am I not horny whenever I’m with you y/n..” Jungkook shamelessly admits, grabbing your face once again to kiss you harder.

At least you can say you don’t have issues with satisfying your man in the bedroom !

[fear-is-truth]

⋆౨ৎ˚ 𝐈𝐓 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 — nicholas a. chavez

𝓣ags ; actress!reader . not proofread . wc 1.4k

requested by — @chaimilkshake

꒰ after your breakout role, teen vogue invites you and your future co-star for an interview ꒱ؘ.

The set of Teen Vogue’s interview was bathed in blinding, fluorescent light, illuminating the sleek, modern chairs arranged under the cameras. Your fingers tapped anxiously against your thigh as you sat in one of them, trying to keep your nerves in check. This wasn’t just any interview—it was your first big one, and you could feel the weight of the attention on your shoulders.

You glanced across the room at Nicholas Alexander Chavez, who was seated in the chair next to you. He’s the rising star everyone’s been talking about since Ryan Murphy’s new docuseries blew up, where he played Lyle Menendez. The two of you were often compared, given your similar roles. In the film, you played Sandra Anderson, one of the infamous “bathtub sisters”—two teenage girls who orchestrated their mother’s murder, a case that horrified the nation. It was your first big role, and while the story itself was dark and intense, the critics had been praising your performance alongside your co-star’s. You’d both been dubbed the “female counterparts” to Nicholas and Cooper Koch, and while that comparison was flattering, it always felt a little surreal to you.

You had only ever done tv commercials before Bathtub Sisters. At 19, you were new to all of this, while Nicholas, at 25, was experienced, confident, and already beloved. And now you were about to share the spotlight with him, after the two of you had been cast as romantic leads in a new rom-com—a pairing that had already broken the internet—people were dying to see more of you together.

Yeah, no pressure.

“Alright, you two ready?” the interviewer — Maggie’s voice calls out from off-camera. You take a deep breath and nod, forcing a small smile. Nicholas glances at you, catching your eye, and offers an easy smile of his own. It helps ease your nerves a little.

“Welcome back, everyone! Today, we’re sitting down with two of Hollywood’s newest stars—Nicholas Chavez and Y/N, who recently broke the internet after being cast together in an upcoming rom-com. You might recognize them from their past roles as Lyle Menendez and Sandra Anderson. Welcome, you two!”

“Thanks for having us, I’m Nicholas Chavez,” Nicholas says smoothly, flashing a smile in your direction. You nod and wave shyly at the camera. “And I’m Y/N L/N.”

“So, this new rom-com,” Maggie begins, “How did it feel to hear that you were cast together? People have been calling you two the ‘next big thing’ after how viral the announcement went.”

Nicholas chuckled, glancing at you for a split second too long. “Honestly, I didn’t expect that kind of reaction. But I can’t complain—it’s been cool seeing people get excited. And, y’know, it’s pretty exciting to be going to work with Y/N. I’m really looking forward to it.”

You try to ignore the warmth creeping up your neck at his compliment. Stay cool, you tell yourself. “Yeah, it’s been…pretty surreal. I mean, this is only my second project, so to be thrown into something so big, it’s wild. But my friends and family have been really supportive.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet!” she gushes. “You two seem to have good chemistry, even off-screen. I can tell.” You shift in your seat, hoping your nervousness wasn’t too obvious.

“So, you both came from playing in darker, heavier roles—the Menendez brothers, Bathtub Sisters—and now you’re starring in a romantic comedy together. That’s quite the shift! How’s it been adjusting to such a different genre?”

“It’s been fun,” Nicholas replies. “I mean, the last project I worked on was pretty intense, and the same goes for Y/N. Jumping into something lighthearted was a nice change of pace. Plus, rom-coms? You can’t beat that.”

You nod in agreement, trying not to blink too much under the lights. “Yeah, definitely. My first film was so dark, and this…it feels like a breath of fresh air.”

“And how about the fan reaction? It’s not every day a casting announcement gets that much attention. People are already shipping you two.”

You feel your face flush at the mention. “I’ve seen some of it,” mentally reminding yourself never to google your own name again. “It’s kind of crazy how fast things blow up.”

“Yeah, it’s wild. People really get invested in this stuff. But hey, it’s cool seeing how excited they are about the movie.” Nicholas agrees.

“So, you guys have been compared quite a bit—being cast in true crime roles, playing siblings in intense, high-profile cases. How do you feel about that?”

Nicholas turns his head to look at you; silently waiting for you to answer first. When you smile back awkwardly, he speaks up. “I think it’s pretty cool. I mean, both cases are so infamous, and it’s wild how much people gravitate toward these kinds of stories.” He pauses, turning his head toward you again.

“But you guys really knocked it out of the park with Bathtub Sisters—I was blown away.”

Surprised by the sudden compliment, you blink, trying not to let it show how flustered you felt. “Thanks, that really means a lot. I watched Monsters too, and your portrayal of Lyle Menendez was just…” you pause, searching for the right words “…insane.”

“How do you handle that kind of pressure, especially you—” the interviewer nods toward you, “since you’re still pretty new to the industry?”

You shift a little in your seat, brushing a hand through your hair. “Uh, it’s pretty overwhelming at times, but it feels like a dream — getting compared to phenomenal actors like Nicholas and Cooper is a huge honour.”

Nicholas chuckles, leaning back slightly. “Hey, don’t give me too much credit. You’re killing it girl — I wasn’t anywhere near where you are when I started.”

His easy confidence makes you relax, and the interview continues smoothly, covering your upcoming rom-com and what fans can expect. Every so often, Nicholas gives you a reassuring smile, helping to settle your nerves

As the interview wraps up and the crew begins packing, the both of you are waiting for your cars outside the studio. The air is cooler now, with evening settling in, and you fidget with the sleeve of your jacket, still feeling a bit starstruck.

“You did great in there,” Nicholas says suddenly, breaking the silence. You turn toward him, genuinely surprised.

“You think so? I felt like I was rambling half the time.”

He laughs, shaking his head. “No way. You were cute and genuine—people love that.”

A smile creeps onto your face, and you feel a little more relaxed around him.

“T-thanks.”

Nicholas’s phone buzzes in his hand, and he glances at it quickly before slipping it back into his pocket.

“Hey, I know we’ve only just started working together, but… do you wanna grab coffee sometime? No cameras, no interviews, just hang out.”

You blink, caught off guard. He’s Nicholas Alexander Chavez. He could be hanging out with anyone, and yet, here he is asking you. Your heart does a little flip.

“Yeah, I’d like that,”

“Sweet,” he says, pulling out his phone and handing it to you. His fingers brush yours briefly, and the small touch sends a rush of warmth through you. You quickly type in your number, trying to ignore the way your cheeks heat up.

He takes the phone back, flashing a smile. “I’ll text you. Promise it won’t be one of those crazy-ass 3 a.m. texts.”

You laugh, feeling your nerves start to fade completely. “Good to know. I’d hate to have to block you.”

He raises an eyebrow, “Block me? Ouch. That’s cold.”

“Boundaries, right?”

“Fair enough.”

As Nicholas heads toward his waiting car, he turns back just before getting in. “Oh, and just so you know,” he calls out with a teasing grin, “I might text you at 2:59 a.m. Just to see if you’ll actually block me.”

You laugh, shaking your head. “You’re pushing your luck.”

“Hey, I live dangerously,” he replies with a wink before sliding into the car.

As he walks away toward his waiting car, you stand there for a second, feeling a little dazed. The whole day had been a whirlwind, and now it seemed like something even crazier was about to begin. Nicholas turns back just before getting into the car, offering one last wave before he disappears into the backseat.

Maybe Nicholas and you were going to be the next big thing—but off-screen.

MLIST

 fear-is-truth 2024 — all rights reserved. do not modify, repost, translate, or plagiarise my content.

[azrielbrainrot]

Baby, You Know That I Miss You

Pairing: Band Member!Azriel x F!Reader

Kinktober 2024: Phone Sex, Guided Masturbation

Description: You miss your boyfriend terribly when you go visit your parents during break. Luckily, he's more than willing to help.

Warnings: Smut, phone sex, guided masturbation, dirty talk

Word Count: ~2k

Rating: 18+ MDNI

Notes: This story is part of my Band AU as well as Kinktober, but you don't have to read their other stories to enjoy this one since it's basically all smut! Also I'm not too sure if this is all that good but we move. Hope you enjoy!

Band AU Masterlist

Kinktober 2024 Masterlist

“I didn't know I was going to be so busy all day,” you say with a sigh, happy that you finally get to relax in the comfort of your own bed, “but at least I get to listen to your voice.”

You were a bit sad that you missed a performance, it was the first one you didn't attend since you became official, but because of it your schedules ended up aligning perfectly and you got to talk to him for a while before going to sleep, when you texted him this morning you thought you wouldn't be able to.

Coming home for break, after what happened the last time you were here had been a bit nerve wracking. You didn't know if you would have to run into Eleanor or Parker, and you didn't know how you would react if you did. Luckily, you hadn't seen them, and you found that when your mother mentioned them you didn't really feel anything besides some mild resentment at the way you were treated, all the anger and sadness that just their names evoked a couple months ago had mostly subsided.

If you were being completely honest, forgetting about your childhood best friend had been a lot easier than you thought possible. You were sure the fact that she hurt you so badly that there wouldn't be any possible way to salvage your relationship helped, since it made forgetting her truly the only option, but most of all you had to thank Azriel and your friends, old and new, for it.

The hardest part of being home for these last two weeks ended up being away from Azriel. Yours is still a relatively new relationship, although sometimes it felt like you had known him your entire life, and so it was hard to not be able to see him for so long when you were spending almost all of your free time together. You missed sleeping in his arms, missed watching him and the boys practice, missed the dates at the small café by his apartment you'd found together, the way he held your hand when you went on walks and, Gods, you missed his touch.

“Want me to tell you a story?”

“Anything is fine as long as it's coming from you,” you admit, his deep whispered voice enough to send a gentle warmth traveling through your veins. Azriel hums, something obviously on his mind. “What?”

“You always liked the sound of my voice,” he muses, letting the words flow from his lips slowly but confidently, knowing it would get a reaction out of you and prove his point.

“Well, yes but that's normal.” You try to keep an indifferent tone, but you know he can easily hear through it. “You're a singer for a reason.”

“We both know it's not just that,” he murmurs, and you can almost hear the smirk growing on his lips, can picture the confident yet alluringly attractive look that always falls over his face when he knows he's affecting you, one that unfortunately only makes it worse. You find yourself squeezing your thighs together, wishing he was right next to you instead of in a different city, so you could kiss that smirk off his lips and let him show you all the different ways he can affect you.

“Don't do that,” you breathe out, almost pleadingly, every hint of sleepiness escaping your body.

“Do what, princess?”

“That,” you say a bit too loudly, calming down and lowering your voice when you add, “not when I'm three hours away.”

Azriel sighs, a heavy sound coming from deep in his chest, needing to feel your hands on him as much as you do. If you were in your apartment instead of at your parent's house, you might have gotten out of bed and made your way to his house with how needy you were starting to feel.

“It's a shame that I can't sit you on my lap right now and whisper every dirty little thing I want to do in your ear.” Truly a shame, you think as you press your legs together. “But we can try something else.”

“Try what?”

“Just want you to do as I say,” he explains, desire dripping on every word. You bite your lip, his intentions now crystal clear in your mind. This wasn't something you had ever done or even considered, but you feel a shiver of excitement run down your spine at just the thought. “Can you do that for me?”

“Yes,” you breathe out, heart beating wildly behind your ribcage as you hear the rustle of sheets through the speaker.

“Are you wearing my shirt?”

You let out a soft chuckle before answering unashamedly, “Yes.” You had taken to stealing some of his shirts to sleep or wear around your house before you even started dating, though stealing was probably the wrong choice of words seeing as he either let you or even gave you some of them himself. His shirts were not only comfortable but they also smelled like him so they quickly replaced your own old shirts you used to wear to sleep before.

Azriel lets out a hum, one that sounds more like a moan, probably lost in the thought of you touching yourself while wearing his shirt before he gathers himself and starts, “Want you to run your hand over your stomach, feel how warm and soft your skin is.” Your hands follow his commands easily, mimicking the way he caresses your skin instinctively, desire growing within you with every brush of your fingers.

“Now push your panties to the side,” he continued, voice getting deeper as he spoke through a clenched jaw, his own hand likely occupied as well, “tell me what you find.”

You knew what you'd find even before your hand traveled down to do as he said, a sigh escaping you all the same when your fingers dive between your folds, feeling just how soaked you were, a string connecting them to your cunt when you pull away.

“Are you wet for me?” The pleasure was obvious in his voice, and you had no doubt in your mind that he was stroking his cock as he spoke, the thought making your cunt clench around nothing.

“Yes,” you breathe out, nodding along even though he can't see you, swirling your fingers around and making a mess of yourself, careful to avoid your clit and entrance no matter how bad you need to take some of the edge off, waiting for him.

“Good,” he moans out, “Fuck, you're so good to me.”

If you closed your eyes, you could picture him laying on his bed, sheets thrown off his body and underwear long since discarded to the side, hand stroking his thick cock slowly, moving up and down as he also imagined what you looked like as you followed his orders, and wished it was your hand instead of his own.

“Now take your panties off,” he says after a moment, waiting patiently as he hears you shimmy them off your legs, sighing as you spread your thighs and bend your knee before letting him know he could continue. “Take two of your fingers into your mouth.”

“Azriel-”

“Need you to get them nice and wet for me.”

A whimper escapes you as memories of him saying these exact words rush into your mind. He loved seeing your mouth stuffed with his fingers, your tongue swirling around them as you looked up at him through your eyelashes. You almost tell him you didn't need to get them any wetter, your cunt was quite literally dripping, but you do as he says anyway, tasting yourself on your own fingers, pretending they were his instead, making a show of sucking on them and pulling them out with a pop just so you could hear the groan he lets out, a tremble running through your body at the delicious sound.

“Done?”

“Yeah,” you muse, entirely too proud of yourself for managing to get under his skin so easily.

“Alright,” he rasps, “Now roll them around your clit slowly, pretend they're mine.” You can't help the whimper of his name, your fingers circling your clit just like he said, closing your eyes and pretending it was his rough fingers instead of yours.

“Good girl,” he chuckles, “don't even gotta tell you to moan my name.”

“I need to be quiet though,” you remind him, remind yourself. If it was simply your roommate in the room down the hall it would only be a bit embarrassing, but it's your parents instead and them hearing you would be nothing short of mortifying.

“Such a shame,” he muses, the smirk almost audible on his voice. “You always sound so pretty for me, saying my name in that sweet breathy, fucked out voice of yours.”

“Azriel,” you whine, putting more pressure behind your fingers, - you really didn't think you needed much more to cum, especially if he kept whispering in your ear like that, - breathy, quiet moans pushing past your lips despite your warning.

“Like that,” he lets out between pants, fist tightening around his cock as well, “Just like that.”

“Keep talking, Az,” you murmur, your heart stuttering in your chest with every harsh breath you hear through the speaker, wanting to hear it in his voice. “You sound pretty too.”

Azriel only hums, staying quiet for a moment longer before letting out a groan. You hear his head knock softly against his headboard as he leans back, and briefly wonder if he could hear the sinful noises your cunt was making every time your fingers moved.

“Fuck, princess. You have no idea how much I wish I could taste you right now.” You did actually, you were burning with the same need. “Wanna bury my face in that sweet pussy of yours, make you cum on my tongue over and over again until you're all I can taste.”

The moan that pushes past your lips is entirely too loud for the quietness in your house, but you can't help it as the picture he paints assaults your mind. You're reminded of the feeling of his tongue against you, lapping up at your cunt until you're shaking with pleasure under him. Gods, you couldn't wait until you saw him again next weekend.

“Wanna taste you too,” you confess, speeding up your movements, mouth watering at the thought.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Think I could cum just thinking about you choking on my cock, trying to take all of me down that tight throat of yours.” Closing your eyes and biting your lip, you do your best to keep as quiet as you can, his filthy words sinking into your bloodstream. It felt like you were on fire even though you had long since kicked your sheets off your body, - you didn't think it was possible to be this turned on alone in your room.

“Fuck,” he chuckles, a ridiculously attractive sound, “I think I might.”

“Azriel, I'm-”

“Close?”

“So close,” you pant, right on the edge, your hand moving incessantly, goosebumps running through your skin.

“I'm right there with you,” he murmurs, “Cum for me, princess. Let me hear you.”

You let yourself fall as soon as he finishes speaking, mouth falling open in a silent scream as you're hit with wave after wave of pleasure, a few whines of his name pushing past your lips despite your efforts to keep quiet, the praises he lets out going straight to your head.

Azriel cums not soon after, his own pants and muffled moans of your name echoing through the speaker as you're coming down, making you feel all tingly knowing he just came as hard as you did without you ever touching him, and still your name was on his lips. It's unfair the way this man makes you feel, even when he's so far away from you.

“I decided I'm going to lock us in your room when I get back,” you speak up after you take a deep breath, only half joking.

“Is that so?”

“Mhm,” you continue, wiping your hand on your discarded panties, cringing softly at the feeling, knowing you have to get up and clean yourself up properly. “You're mine for the entire weekend.”

“You can lock us in for as long as you like,” he murmurs, “I'm all yours.”

[theuntoldstorythatneedsawriter]

Wrong name 👕⚽️

Ingrid Engen × reader

warning : fluffy 💭💗

(my first language isn't english, sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes)

Summary :

You decide to wear Alexia’s jersey to a match, instead of Ingrid’s.

You knew exactly what you were doing when you grabbed the Alexia Putellas jersey from your wardrobe. It wasn’t an accident, and it wasn’t a mistake. You wanted to see how your girlfriend would react. She was always so calm, composed, and never really the jealous type. With this little experiment, you hoped to get some kind of reaction.

As you slipped on Alexia’s jersey, you couldn’t stop thinking about all the different ways Ingrid could react, especially considering you always showed up to her matches wearing her name.

You walked into the stadium with a playful smirk, already imagining her reaction. The energy of the crowd surrounded you as you found your seat, excitement building for the big game. But, even as the match kicked off, you couldn’t focus on the action in front of you. Your mind was too preoccupied with how Ingrid would take this little joke.

When she spotted you from the pitch, there was a brief flash of confusion in her eyes, followed by what you could only describe as irritation. Ingrid’s gaze lingered on you for a moment, you could practically feel her thoughts from where you sat:

Really? Alexia?

As the game went on, you couldn’t help but giggle every time Ingrid glanced your way. Her performance was flawless, of course, nothing seemed to shake her focus on the field. But between plays, when her eyes caught yours again, you noticed a little frown tugging at her lips.

After the final whistle, you made your way to the players’ area, trying your best to hide your anticipation. The moment Ingrid emerged from the tunnel, she let out an annoyed:

-Really?

Cossing her arms, a mix of amusement and annoyance on her face.

- Alexia’s shirt?

You grinned, pretending to be innocent.

- What ? She’s a legend! Plus, it’s a really comfortable.

Ingrid eyes were filled with annoyance but you could still see a playful glint in them.

- I see how it is. Preferring the captain to your own girlfriend, I'm disappointed kjærlighet. (love)

You stepped closer, unable to hide your laughter anymore.

- Don’t be mad. You’re still my favorite player, but I just thought... I don’t know, maybe you’d want a little competition.

Ingrid shook her head, clearly trying to hide her smile.

- Oh, I’m not worried about the competition

She said, stepping closer until she was standing right in front of you.

- I just hope you know who you’re going home with.

Her voice was teasing, but there was an edge to it, a subtle reminder of who you were actually here for. You couldn’t resist.

- Of course I do. The best player on the field.

Ingrid smirked, finally letting her arms drop as she wrapped them around your waist, pulling you in for a quick hug.

- Good

She murmured into your ear, her tone softer now.

- But next time, wear my shirt.

You chuckled, hugging her back.

- We’ll see. I kind of like keeping you on your toes.

As she pulled away, Ingrid rolled her eyes, though you could see she wasn’t really upset.

- Just remember, Alexia might be the captain, but I’m the one you’re stuck with.

You smiled, knowing she was right.

- I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Her hands found your hips, playing with the end of the jersey.

- Take it off.

- What ?

Before you could even processe de information the jersey was off your body. Taking her jersey off, Ingrid handed you her jersey.

- Put it on

- No it's all sweety

She gave you a look that made you put it on immediately, wanting to survive till the end of the night. Once on, Ingrid took a good look at you, admiring your features.

- Better

She grabbed your hand and walked straight to the parking lot, impatient to finally get home. Alexia mouthing a "Good luck" as you pass by, having seen the all thing.

[woso-dreamzzz]

Second Time's The Charm IX

Alexia Putellas x Reader

Summary: Your co-workers meet your wife

The new doctor is world renowned.

A titan in the industry of sports science and flawless in the realm of orthopaedic surgery.

Perhaps there was a bit of sexism in the way that all the nurses assumed you would be a man but each were pleasantly surprised when you walked through the door in your scrubs and were, in fact, a woman.

It was great in fact because male doctors always had massive egos attached and never treated nurses respectfully.

But female doctors always did.

Female doctors always appreciated the work they did.

You were one of those doctors.

If you weren't buried in paperwork or doing consultations and follow ups, you were down by the nurses station with a to-go coffee and a box of doughnuts from the café to share out.

"He took me to Naples," One of the nurses said," We took a tour around Pompeii and ate at this amazing pizza place."

You hummed, writing down something in one of your patient's charts. "Was it nice? I've been meaning to take my wife but she's so busy all the time. I don't want her time wasted if it isn't nice."

"So nice," The nurse insisted," A lot of walking around though so you're sweating a lot but apart from that, it's amazing."

"I'll put it on my list then."

"My boyfriend took me to a football match. He's a Barcelona fan so we went to see the women in a friendly last week."

"My wife was there too," You said absentmindedly," I heard it was a good match."

"Eight-nil to Barcelona," The nurse agreed," They were amazing."

You know that because Alexia came home very happy with her own performance. Two goals. Three assists.

You rewarded her handsomely.

"The women's team are very good," You replied, signing something off.

"Oh, yeah, you go to a lot of matches, right? Are you a fan?"

"My wife's a bigger Barcelona fan than me," You replied.

That was an understatement but nobody really needs to know about how passionate Alexia is about football.

"She always gets me tickets."

"That's so sweet," Another nurse said," It's nice that you care so much about her interests."

"Yeah, I love seeing Ale happy," You said," If that means I have to sit through ninety plus minutes of football then I'm glad to to do it."

The nurses learnt pretty quickly after that, just how much you adored your wife.

You brought her up with conversations that were only tangentially related to her, dropping little facts to do with her at seemingly random intervals.

Your staff now knew that you and your Ale had met at school, inseparable since that first meeting. They knew you got kicked out of your parent's house at eighteen after you married her. They knew that you were currently building a house and had taken her away on her dream holiday over the Christmas period.

You'd never shown a picture of her though and if there was one things nurses loved doing with no one around, it was gossip.

"She must look like a model or something," One of them said," Pretty people marry pretty people and Doctor Putellas is very pretty."

"I think she must be a real sweetheart," Another said," Someone really sweet and happy. I'd be happy if I was married and spoiled by Doctor Putellas. It must be a dream."

"What do you think she works as?"

" A doctor's salary like Doctor Putellas' is enough to support a family on. Her wife probably doesn't need to work."

"I heard they were thinking about adopting. Her wife might want to stay home with the baby."

"Doctor Putellas deserves a housewife to spoil. I bet her wife feels so loved all the time."

"I wish my boyfriend would treat me like how Doctor Putellas treats her wife."

A throat is cleared behind the assembled nurses and they turn around, instantly putting on their responsible faces.

Alexia Putellas stood before them, nervously threading her fingers together together as she stood in front of them.

"Erm...hello."

"Hello. Do you have an appointment? A follow up?"

Since her ACL tear, Alexia wasn't an abnormal presence at the hospital, constantly coming back for follow ups and check ins.

She'd never looked this nervous though, this strung out and anxious.

"Er...no. I'm...I'm here to see Y/n?"

The nurses all nodded.

That made sense. Alexia Putellas and Doctor Putellas.

Everyone had assumed the pair of you were related. You didn't look similar so you were probably cousins or something else more loosely related.

"We'll call her down for you."

Alexia nodded, face shifting from nervous to more stern and stoic, the face that the nurses were more used to seeing on her. She remained silent as they went back to talking, discussing weekend plans and holiday ideas with family.

The squeak of your shoes on the linoleum floor caused all conversations to grind to a half again and you turned the corner with the group of interns that you'd been talking to since one of your surgeries earlier, answering questions in such an in depth way that there was no question of why you were world class in your field.

"Doctor Putellas, your-"

"Amor!" Alexia cried out, stern and stoicism slipping from her visage as something skin to puppy love appeared to replace it," Brilliant news!"

Your own smile split your features as you took two short steps toward her until you were face to face.

Instantly, Alexia's hands went to your hips.

"What is it, Ale?"

"We've got a court date! For Maya! To bring her home!"

Somehow, you smile only widened and you threw your arms around Alexia to bring her ever closer.

"Are you serious? A court date? An actual court date?"

"The lawyers called!" Alexia continued, somehow rushing through her words but still articulating them perfectly," I was in a meeting but I was looking at my phone because it was flashing. I knew I shouldn't have picked up but it felt important so I did. And they told me! Next week! The judge will talk to us and officially approve the papers!"

You were totally professional with your nursing staff. You would banter with them and joke around but you were still so professional. You didn't overshare. You didn't belittle them. You didn't say anything too personal.

Which was why it was so strange to see you pull Alexia into a kiss right in front of them, smashing your lips together as Alexia practically vibrated in excitement.

"We're bringing our baby home," You said against her lips.

"We are, amor. We are."

Movement out of the corner of your eye brought you out of your daze though, dropping your arms until you could take one of Alexia's hands in your own as you turned to face the shocked faces of your group of interns and your nurses.

You felt a little bit awkward now as you cleared your throat.

"This is my wife," You said meekly," Ale."

Not the Barcelona captain. Not the Spain captain. Not Alexia Putellas.

Your wife.

Ale.

[scarlethexelove]

It's Always The Drummer

Pairing: Drummer!Kate Bishop x Fan!Reader

Word Count: 2799

Warnings: Smut, Kate is a charming, Drumsticks being used for penetration, Service Top! Kate, Kate definitely cums just from getting R off, A bit of Beefy Kate.

Pt 2

A/n: As the last few fics I have to thank @wandamaximoffsbadgirl for helping with this. We have been doing this really fun back and forth were we right the fic together. It's super fun and can be surprising when one writes a something you weren't expecting. As for the fic I just had the idea pop into my head randomly while playing some Fortnite. Please enjoy 😁

NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN

You can't believe that your all-time favorite band is coming to town. You stayed up all night just to get tickets. Sadly, you weren't able to get VIP tickets due to how expensive they are, but you knew if you got here early enough, you could maybe get front row. Your friends stand around you as you all talk about the band. Most of them are obsessed with either the lead singer Natasha, the guitarist Wanda, or bassist Yelena. You, on the other hand, have a big crush on the drummer Kate. 

Kate was perfect on drums, and gods, the smirk on her face when she was performing, made you feel something. You had picked out an amazing outfit. You knew Kate's favorite color was purple, so you went with purple and black. Looking yourself over with all your friends beside you. You'd get to see her up close, you just knew it!

You hear some laughter that sounds familiar from behind you. You turn around and spot her. There she is, Kate Bishop in the flesh. Laughing with Wanda, Nat, and Yelena. You can't help as you start to smack the arm of your friend next to you without even taking your eyes off the women. You knew they'd be doing all the VIP stuff soon, but your friend murmurs. “oww Y/n/n.” As they walk by everyone is freaking out when Natasha calls out. “Each of us will be picking one person to be upgraded to VIP!” And of course everyone is freaking out and hoping to be picked.

You internally start to panic. There is no way you'll get picked. The women walk down the line, but as you watch Kate, her eyes seem to keep flicking towards you. You're pretty sure you're just seeing things, but it gives you hope. Of course, you would take any of them picking you, but if Kate did, you might just die. 

The girls go and pick theirs. Natasha first, then Wanda, and then Yelena. Kate was last. None of your friends had been picked, but then it happened. Kate holds out her hand at you. “Care to join me?” You could die happy right now as you place your hand in yours. Forgetting all about your friends. She pulls you along, and as you round the corner around the building, she wraps her arm around your waist and pulls you into her side. You can't help the audible gasp that escapes you, and you don't miss the smirk on her face. Your heart races with excitement and fear. You can't believe this is happening. 

Kate leans in and whispers in your ear. “You're very beautiful, you know.” A blush covers your cheeks. “N-Not as beautiful as you-you are.” You stutter. She lets out a melodic laugh at your stuttering. “No need to be nervous.” Her grip tightens on you. “We're gonna have some fun, okay beautiful?” You nod, which has Kate raising a brow at you. She holds the door open for you to let you into the band's entrance. “I need words princess.” You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding. “Yes, um yeah of course.” You curse yourself for how stupid you sound. “My name’s Kate but I'm assuming you already know that.” Her confidence has your knees weak. “Y/n.” You tell her which causes her to smile. “Y/n I like the sound of that. A beautiful name for a beautiful girl.”

Kate's words have you blushing as she brings you to a room with her name on it. The opening to  reveal what was a place for Kate to get ready, but there was something that was off and caught your eye. A bed. “U-um what's that for? Don't you guys just um like get ready in here?” Kate chuckles. “I like to take naps before the shows... along with some other activities.” She throws you a wink. 

This is amazing, and you hate to admit the fact you would let Kate do anything, but something nags at the back of your mind. “Do you do this a lot?” She looks at you. “Do what?” She asks and you can't tell if she's serious or not. “Bring...um bring girls here?” You can't look at her, but you hear a chuckle. “We each pick someone out, but usually I have no interest in anyone, but since the others do it. I do too, but…” She picks your chin up gently. “You caught my eye tonight. I know you saw me looking pretty girl.”

You're as red as a tomato and she can tell how nervous you are. “Princess we don't have to do anything you don't want to. I will bring girls back because of the others but I don't actually do anything with them. But you seem different... special.” Kate gives you a genuine smile. “I...um…” You feel your head spin and you feel like you're on fire. “I really um.” She leans over and cups your cheeks, whispering in your ear. “Just a yes or no is fine princess. You don't have to explain yourself.” She tells you. “Yes.” You breathe out. 

Kate smiles, pulling you closer by your hips. She leans in, pressing her lips to yours. You melt into her as you kiss her back. Her fingers dig into your hips. “So beautiful.” She mumbles against your lips. A whine escapes your lips. This is all you've ever wanted since you found out about this band and saw Kate. You never thought you'd be here, and you find yourself chasing her lips. For a moment you wonder if she's lying and she does this all the time, but you don't care. You'll show her the best time she's ever had.

Kate picks you up easily, and you wrap your legs around her waist. She carries you to the bed, laying you down as she hovers over you.  “You're so beautiful under me. I could get used to this.” You nod. “Me too.” You pull her down and kiss her again. The kisses get heated as she rolls her hips against you, and you moan out. “Fuck...Kate…” You desperately try to pull her closer. “Mmm need you.” She starts stripping both of you down and you feel like it couldn't be fast enough. You pull at her shirt. “Please.” You whine wanting her to go faster. “Patience princess.” You whine louder. She grips your hips tighter. “Are you going to be a good girl for me?” She asks and you let out another whine. “Words princess.” She grips your face, your eyes dilating. 

“I'll be good, please I need this. Need you Kate please.” Your words come out fast. “Good girl.” A blush rises to your cheeks at her words. She leans up and pulls her shirt off. You can't help but drool at the site. She obviously had super toned arms from being a drummer, but what you hadn't expected was how perfect her abs were. Before you even realize it, you've reached out and lightly touched them. 

“Like what you see beautiful?” Kate leans down and kisses you, barely giving you time to squeak out a yes. Her tongue pushes past your lips, moving together and letting her take the lead. Her tongue explores your mouth, which only causes you to moan. She gladly swallows your sounds. 

When Kate pulls away, you can't help but chase after her lips as a soft whine escapes you. She is already loving the sounds coming out of you and can't wait to see what else she can pull out. 

Kate gets you undressed, running her hands over your body, admiring every bit of you. She gets up for a moment to finish undressing herself. You hadn't even noticed until now as she pulls them out. Her famous light up drumsticks were tucked into her back pocket. 

You've seen them all over social media over the years, but your focus is always divided between them and the fingers that twirl them around. “Oh wow…” it comes out breathy, and Kate smirks when she notices. “Oh, do you like my drum sticks? I had them custom-made.” She holds them put towards you. “Y-yeah, I always see them in videos.” You mumble slightly embarrassed. She chuckles as an idea pops in her head. “Princess, do you trust me?” You nod faster than you should. You seriously only met the girl, but everything seems so right.

Kate smirks, taking back the sticks and having you lay back. “Just tell me if it hurts and I'll stop, okay?”She just wants to make sure you are comfortable and that she doesn’t hurt you. “Mhmm yes.” She takes one of the sticks and slowly pushes it inside of you. A moan coming out as you tip your head back at the feeling. It's a new sensation compared to what you've taken before. It's not thick but it's so long. You can hear Kate panting slightly above you as she watches her stick disappear inside of you. She didn't expect to find it so hot, but watching how your greedy cunt just sucks it in has her blinded with pleasure. 

“Fuck princess you're so hot. Look at you taking me so nicely like that. Do you think you can take both?” Kate asks, looking at you with darkened eyes. “I-I can try...mmm please? W-wanna try Kate.” She pulls the stick all the way out which causes a whine to escape you. Your walls clench around nothing as you feel empty now. 

Kate presses the tips of both sticks at your entrance before letting them slowly sink in.  “F-fuck!” You gasp at the stretch. “That's a good girl…” Kate bites her lip and the way she's moving, the sounds she's making you'd swear she was getting off as much as you were from this. The sticks hit the deepest part of you, as you arch up into them. “Fuck...f-feels so good Kate...mmm.” She picks up the pace as she plunges the sticks over and over again into your greedy hole. One of your hands reaching out and reaching around her biceps. You can feel it flex with every thrust. 

“K-Kate...Katie cumming...I'm gonna..ah.” Kate looks up at you, face all flushed. “Me too princess go on. Cum all over my drum sticks.” Her voice is so deep and husky as you feel the coil tighten inside of you. You feel her tremble, and her muscles flex as she groans out.

Your nails dig into her biceps as your back arches off the bed. Your eyes roll into the back of your head as the tips of the drumsticks hit that spot deep inside you. You fall over the edge, coating her sticks and fingers in your juices. You hear her moan loudly as you're pretty sure she just came from getting you off. 

Kate slows down before coming to a stop. Pulling them out and admiring them covered in your slick. As you come back down from the high you catch her staring at them making you blush. She smirks as she notices you staring at her. You're both still slightly panting. “Fuck princess you're so perfect under me.” The blush deepens as you whimper. “W-well, you're perfect above me.” She smirks and leans down to give you another kiss when there's a knock at the door, making you jump. “Busy!” Kate yells to whoever knocked on the door. “Kate, we have to meet VIPs in 5.” You heard Yelena call through the door.”No problem, Lena, we'll be there.” Kate yells back. “W-we.” You stutter out. She smiles down at you and holds out her hand. “I'm not letting you go that easy princess.” You don't know if you could get any redder, but you're pretty sure your face is as red as a tomato now. 

Kate pulls you up with her and helps you get dressed before dressing herself. Both of you making sure that your looks don't scream we just fucked in the dressing room. You two manage to join the VIPs, getting treated just like one with all the special little bits that came along with it. You guys got a special spot on the side of the stage and you weren't even upset about your friends not being with you. How could you be when you got to be with Kate Fucking Bishop and get the VIP upgrade for free?

As the opening band plays, Kate comes up behind you and pulls you back to where the other VIPs don't notice her standing there with you. Luckily, it's dark enough. She wraps her arms around your waist behind swaying with you to the music and enjoying the opening band with you.  

Kate kisses your neck, which has you gasping. “Enjoying the show, princess?” She whispers in your ear, and you nod in response, which makes her smile. “I'm gonna enjoy it more once you get on stage.” You look back and up at her, kissing her jawline. “You better not take your eyes off me.” Kate says in your ear. “I wouldn't dream of it Katie.” You smile and kiss her as the opening band gets ready to play their last song. She pulls away leaving you chasing her, but she has to go and so you watch her disappear once more.

The opening band finishes up their set and heads off, high fiving all of the VIPs as they pass by. It takes a few minutes as the sets are all changed. The anticipation rising within you. The crowd starts to go crazy as they get the first glance of the band waiting to come out. Natahsa is the first one out with a loud roar from the crowd. Wanda follows, and the Yelena. Last is Kate. She struts onto the stage, catching your eye as she winks at you before she turns around and does a backflip on stage. The crowd went absolutely nuts at this. You can tell she is just showing off to impress you.  

You smile, a little chuckle coming out of you as you shake your head at her. Kate sits herself down at her drums. Pulling out the sticks she just used on you making your face flush. You notice how the sticks glisten in the light more than normal. You can't help the gasp that escapes your lips. Kate smirks at you as she notices your reaction. The realization that dawns on you in that moment. She licks over the stick, staring you down. Watching your reaction intently. You feel yourself clench around nothing but you remember the sensation of the drumsticks inside of you. A pool of wetness is between your thighs once more. She gives you a wink as she starts off the set. She is absolutely going to be the death of you, but you couldn't ask for anything more.

The sets goes on, and you can't believe the night you're having. The spot is amazing and the fact you actually got fucked by your celebrity crush has your head spinning and your pinching yourself. The show is everything you could have asked for. The night was everything and more. Even if it turns out to be a one-time thing you'd get to tell your friends you fucked Kate Bishop. 

The show came to an end with an amazing encore. As the band exits the stage on the other side, Kate does the opposite. She comes right up to you, grabbing you by the hips and kissing you. She doesn't care who sees, but you can hear the gasp around you and some cheering from afar. “I'm sorry I just couldn't help myself.” Kate pulls back a little and leans her forehead against yours. 

Though you were taken by surprise at the drummer's forwardness, you wrapped your arms around her shoulders and smiled. “You did amazing Katie.” You tell her before kissing again. You can see the flashes of people's phones going off at the two of you as you bury your face against her. Not used to this at all. She chuckles, wrapping her arms around you fully and lifting you up in her arms. You instinctively wrap your legs around her waist. “Let me take you on a real date princess.” She says as she walks you back towards the dressing room. You nod into her neck, and she kisses the side of your head. “And maybe it will just have to be a breakfast date.” Her voice gets low and sultry, which has you shuddering. 

You're excited about where this could lead. In a sea full of beautiful women, Kate chose you, and maybe she will always pick you.

[princessbellecerise]

Dear Husband

──── ✧*･ﾟ*✭˚･ﾟ✧ ────

summary | It’s been a month since you’ve been wedded to Prince Aemond and he has yet to consummate your marriage. Fed up with waiting, you seek him out and prepare to seduce your own husband

warnings | arranged marriage, smut, oral sex, soft!aemond

this is an eighteen plus fic. minors please do not enter

divider by @princessbellecerise

Before you got married, you never once thought that you’d have to seduce your own husband. You were always taught that men were…lustful creatures and that your husband wouldn’t be able to resist the touch of a woman.

You were told that most men couldn’t keep their hands off of their new brides, so when a month went by and Aemond still hadn’t…performed his martial duties with you, you started to wonder if perhaps your husband was broken.

Prince Aemond hadn’t touched you since the day you were married, and it had been your hand that he had touched, not your body.

After the great feast that was held by King Viserys, instead of having a bedding ceremony like most brides, you spent the night alone and wondering if perhaps your husband hated you.

Of course, you knew it was ridiculous to think that since Aemond had never once been rude to you, or anything less than civil. He always escorted you when he needed to, bid you good morning like he should, but he never, ever did anything more.

Your relationship was odd and not at all what you imagined marriage to be like. You had expected and prepared yourself to not even leave your chambers for the first week of marriage, but all you did was spend time alone when you should’ve been with your husband.

You didn’t like that.

You didn’t like the fact that you were still a maiden and though you told yourself that you wouldn’t push, that you would give Aemond time to come to you and seek out your pleasure, you were fed up.

You just couldn’t wait anymore, so alas, there you were, standing outside of the chambers that your husband slept in away from you and dressed in your most revealing nightgown.

Originally it had been made for your wedding night, but since you had never officially consummated your marriage with Aemond it had been left untouched; just like you.

You were untouched and quite frankly you were sick of it. You wanted your husband; you wanted to lay with him like everyone said you would. You wanted to feel yourself wrapped in his love, experience the best things marriage that had to offer. You wanted him, Aemond Targaryen, first of his name. And tonight, you were going to get him.

Hesitatingly, you lifted your fingers rap on his door and you were grateful that no guards were present to witness this affair. After all, it was well known that Prince Aemond was more than capable of protecting himself. Another trait you admired about your lord husband, another thing that lead you towards loving him, lusting for him.

You just hoped that he felt the same, and that you wouldn’t make a fool of yourself. After all, you were going off of the assumption that he did want to lay with you. But what if that wasn’t the case at all?

What if Aemond simply didn’t want you? What if he stayed away on purpose?

What if—?

Your rambling thoughts were suddenly cut off by the magnificent wooden door swinging open, revealing your lord husband who, in all his glory, was only dressed in his night clothes.

If you had to guess, he wasn’t asleep seeing how quickly he answered the door but you were starting to wish that he was, so you might’ve had a chance to talk yourself out of this.

The cool breeze of the castle made the very hair on the back of your neck stand up, and suddenly you felt utterly ridiculous as you stood in front of Aemond, whose eye went wide as he saw you.

Slightly, the prince’s jaw dropped and you stuttered as you struggled to find some kind of explanation for yourself.

“M-My Prince…I…” The words died on your tongue as quickly as they came, your nerves making it impossible to speak. Your throat went dry and your body went numb, your heart feeling like it was about to beat out of your chest.

You could barely contain your breathing as the prince visibly staggered back, his throat bobbing as he quickly looked around.

“My lady, what are you doing? You should not be out at this time of night, dressed in this kind of attire,” He quickly scolded you, and before you could stutter out any more words you were suddenly yanked into his chambers.

Yelping, you were shocked as Aemond closed the door behind the two of you, trapping you in his warm room which had a fire raging.

It was the first time you had ever been inside of his chambers, and it was not what you expected. For starters it was warm, the complete opposite of his demeanor and it was surprisingly colorful. The roaring fire lit up the relatively large room and it showcased all of his trinkets which showed you glimpses of who he really was.

If you weren’t so nervous, you might’ve admired his room and pointed out some of the things that you had in common. Like the books he had stacked on his end table, but at the moment that was last thing on your mind as you stood in front of your husband.

Nervously, your hands clasped together and you picked at the skin on your fingernails as you looked at him.

“Have you gone mad?” He questioned you, “Why on earth are you roaming around, wearing…that.”

He could hardly find it in himself to look at you as you quickly wrapped your arms around yourself, feeling foolish for even thinking of this idea. You wished you had just stayed in bed and went through with your original plan—wait for him to approach you, if he did at all.

It would’ve saved you a lot of embarrassment and possibly rejection. You couldn’t tell what your husband was thinking because he wouldn’t look at you, but your anxiety told you that it was nothing good.

“My prince, I…I’m so sorry. I don’t what I was thinking, I just—”

“You just what?” Your husband questioned you sharply, and you flinched at the harsh tone of his voice. Lowering your head, you bit your lip, and silently you willed yourself not to cry.

“I…” What were you to say? Oh, I’m very sorry my husband, but I just came here to seduce you since you haven’t done it yet.

No.

You would sound beyond stupid and you didn’t feel like humiliating yourself even further. Standing in front of him with his sharp gaze on you was enough. You felt exposed, and you wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow you whole. You hoped that if you stayed quiet Aemond would just let this whole thing go and forget it ever happened. Forget you ever even came to him, but judging from the way he was staring you down, you knew that wasn’t possible.

Instinctively, you stepped back and you felt intimidated as his tall frame hovered over you. His slender face was twisted in an unreadable emotion, his lips pursed. He finally decided to look at you and it caused shockwaves to travel through you body due to the look in his eye.

“What? Who exactly did you put this on for, wife?” Aemond asked suspiciously, and you gulped as you met his eye.

If you didn’t know any better, you’d think that your husband was jealous by the way he was speaking. His demeanor definitely showed it, with his arms crossed and his eye narrowed at you.

You shifted uncomfortably as your heart pounded.

“Well?” Aemond asked, and you knew that you had no choice but to confess, lest you brung out a side of him that you most definitely did not want to see.

“I…” Just spit it out, Y/N! Your brain screamed at you. You took a deep breath. “I wore it for you, your grace,” You finally confessed, and you knew there was no turning back as you continued. “I…I noticed that you have not…visited me like a husband should, and I was wondering if maybe it was because you were…shy. I just wanted to do something to catch your attention, husband, but I see now that it will result in nothing more than my humiliation so I will go and—”

“Wait!”

You froze with your back turned to him, preparing to haul tail and book it back to your chambers. With shameful tears in your eyes, your hand had already touched the door and you were preparing to leave until you heard his voice.

Pausing, you couldn’t believe what was happening as Aemond slowly came to stand behind you, sliding his large hand over yours to stop you from leaving.

The heat from his body could be felt with how close he was standing, and you shivered as your whole body lit up and froze.

“Not so fast, wife,” Aemond whispered in your ear, and suddenly you gasped as you were turned halfway around and then backed against the door.

Instantly, your eyes met those of your husband’s, your lips parting as curiosity and fire filled your veins.

Aemond stared down at you with a look that you couldn’t quite understand, but what you did know was that he had never looked at you like that before.

It made your heart pound to see the intensity in his gaze. His one eye was focused on you and his soft, pink lips were pursed before finally, they curved into a smirk. You could’ve sworn that you were dreaming as your husband leaned in, and something inside of you fluttered at his proximity.

“You wore this…for me?” His deep voice caused butterflies to erupt in your stomach, and you nodded, unable to speak.

Your breath was caught in your throat as Aemond smirked, and the feeling of him pressing against you intensified.

Slowly, you felt cold hands hook around your waist and tug until you were fully facing him. Your faces were closer than they had ever been before, and you were able to see your husband in full now.

You studied his face and you noticed that a new look had taken over. At first, Aemond had looked at you with apprehension; caution. He wasn’t nearly as relaxed as he was now, but dare you say it—your husband actually looked excited.

The sly smile that had grown on his face put you more at ease, and you made no move to push him away as his hands lingered.

Looking into his eyes, you bit your lip and tilted your head.

“Do you like it, my prince?” You asked him, barely above a whisper. A slight burst of energy led you to puff your chest out, coyly looking at Aemond as he observed the fabric.

It was supposed to be worn on your wedding night but because nothing had happened, the white fabric was in prestige condition and it barely covered everything it needed to. You knew the answer of your question just by the look that grew in Aemond’s eye, but for what it was worth, he answered.

“Yes. It is quite pretty, Princess,” He complimented. And then a smirk grew on his pale face. Leaning in, you shivered as Aemond’s lips came to your ear, and then he whispered words you never thought you’d hear. “But I’d prefer to see it off, if I am to be honest.”

A gasp left your lips as Aemond suddenly pulled away, and you didn’t have time to think before Prince’s lips were on yours.

He swallowed the surprised noise that left your throat, hooking his finger under your jaw to give him a better angle of your lips.

They were soft, untouched until now and Aemond felt his cock throb at the thought that the rest of your body was, too.

You on the other hand were beyond shocked, but you had to admit that his lips tasted pretty good; addicting like wine to an alcoholic man. You felt like you couldn’t get enough as you kissed him back, deeply to the point where it shocked Aemond.

He wasn’t expecting you to behave like this, and he certainly hadn’t been expecting for his wife to come and seduce him. All this time, he thought that you’d be afraid of him but it was the opposite.

You wanted more, you wanted to be more. You wanted to be his and you weren’t afraid to show it as you pressed yourself against him.

Aemond hissed as he felt your hand accidentally brush his cock, pulling away as a hungry feeling gathered in his chest. His violet eye searched yours and all he could see was longing behind them; lust.

You wanted him and he wanted you, and the fire between the two of you grew he lightly tugged on your hand. He motioned to the bed behind him, wide and empty as he obviously wasn’t expecting a visitor.

You didn’t mind though, nodding and allowing him to pull you over to it as your mind clouded up. Suddenly, the embarrassment that you felt for coming here was replaced by relief, your shame overtaken by longing.

You couldn’t believe that your plan had actually worked, still a little bit in awe as Aemond helped you onto the big bed and gently trapped you underneath him.

His tall frame hovered over you, his knees on either side of your body. His strong hands rested just beside you, hoisting himself up while you laid propped up on your elbows.

If you didn’t know any better, he almost looked…nervous. Hesitating before he did anything else and soon you figured out why.

“Is this alright, wife?” He wanted to ask first, so gently that it made your heart melt a little bit.

He genuinely looked concerned about your well-being, hesitating before he did anything else. He was the complete opposite of his idiot brother, asking for your consent before touching you.

You often heard stories of men not even caring to ask before they laid with women. Most of them just take what they want and don’t bother for permission, is what a maid had said to you before your wedding day.

You always thought that was true until Aemond uttered the words, and you were so overcome with emotion that all you could do was nod, leaning up so that your lips could capture his once more.

This time, the kiss was more sure, steady as he moved against you and placed a gentle hand on your cheek. He laid you back so that your body was now touching his pillows, silk sheets crumbling underneath you as he followed.

Your soft body became pressed against his, and due to your nightgown Aemond could practically feel everything. Every curve, every soft patch of skin, he could feel it all and it took an incredible amount of self control for Aemond to take it slow. He had to remind himself that you were untouched, and that you required care before he did anything else.

As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t just jump into it without warming you up first, so he pulled away to do just that.

A sudden whine came from your throat at the loss of contact, your arm coming out to pull him back down. You pouted, wanting to keep tasting his lips but Aemond quickly made up for it as he leaned back down and grazed his teeth over your neck.

“Not yet, wife. I have to get you warmed for me first.”

A gasp left your lips as he then kissed and licked over a spot that made you become weak in the knees. Quietly, a sound that you had never heard before left your lips and Aemond was smug as he recognized it as a moan.

You were moaning for him and he hadn’t even touched you yet, and that thought alone was enough to have him abandoning your neck and sinking lower so that he could get more out of you.

He wanted to hear that sound again, and you wanted the pleasure that made you make that sound. When Aemond sank down lower and lower you watched with wide eyes, not quite knowing what he was doing but trusting him.

You trusted your husband enough to stay quiet when he tugged on your nightgown, only nodding at him again to let him know that it was okay to pull it down.

When he did, you swore that you stopped breathing as your cunt was exposed to the warm air. Instinctively, you became shy and tried to close your legs but Aemond’s strong arms stopped you.

He held your legs open and shook his head. Gently, he ran his fingers over your hips which made you shiver. The feeling of his touch set your skin on fire, and as Aemond muttered his next words you melted even further.

“Do not hide from me, Issa jorrāelagon. You are beautiful,” He said something in his native language, and it was only because you’d heard it before did you know what it meant.

My love is what the Valerian words translated to, and Aemond had only ever uttered them once on your wedding day. You remembered having to memorize that exact same phrase, and when you recognized it your body instantly relaxed.

Instantly, any resolve that you had melted away and you became butter underneath Aemond. Your legs parted, your nerves relaxed, and you allowed him to dip his head down between your legs.

Before you even knew what was happening, your husband’s tongue darted out to taste your cunt. The action caused you to gasp and Aemond to moan, relishing in your sweet taste before diving back in.

He wanted more, so he licked another stripe and relished in the way your back arched off of the bed. A moan left your lips as he did it again, Aemond pleasing you in a way you’d never experienced before.

Even your own fingers couldn’t make you feel this good. His tongue was pure bliss, making you see stars as you whimpered underneath him.

Instinctively, your hands reached down to tangle in his hair as he teased your pearl. When his teeth lightly grazed over it, you moaned and accidentally pulled causing Aemond to groan.

The vibrations against your cunt pared with the assault on your clit nearly sent you over the edge, a pant leaving your lips as pressure built in the pit of your stomach.

You felt like you were about burst with Aemond’s mouth on you, and soon your vision went blank as the dam burst and your peak washed over you like violent waves during a storm.

You screamed out Aemond’s name as waves of pleasure washed through you, and Aemond chuckled against your cunt, making sure that he gathered every drop of your spend before lifting himself from in between your legs.

Your body was still shaking as he came to hover over you, and in a sudden heated kiss you could taste yourself on Aemond’s lips.

The action caused you to moan into your husband’s mouth, grabbing onto his shoulders as he steadied himself. One of his hands came up to cup your face while the other fumbled with his belt, loosening the material without ever breaking the kiss. You could feel him moving around and attempting to free himself from his trousers so you pulled away to help.

Hesitantly, you grabbed the waistband of the material and tugged it down whilst Aemond helped. You couldn’t lie, you were shaking and a little nervous the more they dropped, becoming intimidated by seeing him for the first time.

It certainly made your cunt throb to see his cock, your mouth watering a little as Aemond finally freed himself.

He was already erect, his cock slapping against his stomach. You made eye contact and you could see lust clouding his violet eye, the yearning that he felt.

Aemond wasn’t one to show his emotions often, if at all, but right now you felt like you could see him. You could see every emotion that he possessed, feel him as he leaned down to connect your lips once again.

You had never been this close to anyone before and you relished in it as he positioned himself over you. As his lips moved against yours, you became eager, pulling him down so that he could line himself with your entrance.

Aemond pulled away to look at your face before he pushed himself forward. He searched for any signs of resistance or hesitation, but there was none. You were eager for you husband to move forward, eager to finally feel him like you wanted.

You were so close to getting what you came here for, but first…

You hesitantly bit your lip as your hand came up, and your heart squeezed as Aemond flinched when you touched his eye.

The one that was covered, that is, and the last piece of material that was separating the two of you.

Before you went forward with this, you wanted to see him. You wanted really see your husband and all of his beauty.

Despite what people said, you’d never been afraid of what was behind the patch. You’d never been disgusted or judgmental. You just wanted to see Aemond for who he really was, as he was about to see you.

“May I…?”

Aemond took in a sharp breath as your fingers lingered over his eyepatch, seriously debating if he should let you or not. You could see the conflict in his face, the uncertainty and you weren’t going to push. If he was uncomfortable taking it off, you’d understand, but to your surprise Aemond reached up and took it off himself.

He closed his eyes as he placed the material on his nightstand, and when he opened them one violet eye and one sapphire eye stared back at you.

Aemond lowered his head as if he were ashamed, but you quickly grabbed his face and made him look at you.

Nothing expect for love adorned your face, making sure that he knew you weren’t judging or scared. You just wanted to see him, and as you ran your fingers over his scar you only whispered one word.

“Gevie,” You told him, and Aemond chuckled as your palm stroked his cheek. He didn’t shy away from your touch and allowed you to touch him like no one ever had before. Not even his own mother had felt his scar, and now here he was, laid bare before his wife just you were bare before him.

Now, there was nothing left to separate the two of you so Aemond pushed forward.

You felt the head of his cock brush your folds and you gasped, biting your lip as he started to push through your barriers.

Your cunt wrapped around him in way that Aemond had never felt before, causing your husband to groan as he sunk into you. Briefly, you held your breath as slight pain erupted but it wasn’t too bad. Aemond was gentle, and he had made sure you were warmed up so the feeling went away almost instantly.

Still, he paused before going any further and looked at your face to make sure that you were okay.

Violet and sapphire met your (E/C) eyes, and you nodded as you slowly released your breath. Wrapping your arms around Aemond’s shoulders, you buried your head in his neck and moaned as he pushed in to the hilt.

The sound of a low groan reaching your ears caused lust to travel through your body. The thought of your husband moaning for you, because of you made your cunt even wetter and there was little to no resistance for Aemond as he began to move his hips.

Sloppily, your lips found his and your legs wrapped around his back as your body welcomed him.

Aemond wrapped his own around you, making sure to hold you tight before rocking his hips. He kept a steady pace, making sure that he wasn’t too rough which you appreciated. The pace he took allowed you feel him, relishing in the way his cock dragged along your walls.

You moaned at every stab of pleasure that you felt, enjoying the taste of Aemond’s lips as well. He tasted like the sweet wine you often saw him drink, and you couldn’t get enough like you were trying to get drunk as well.

You were trying to get drunk on him and you were, eyes rolling to the back of your head as Aemond’s cock managed to reach your sweet spot. His lips pulled away from yours so his teeth could graze your neck, and you had the pleasure of hearing his own moans spill out as he sped up.

The King sized mattress creaked under the weight of him fucking you, blending in with all of the other sweet sounds you made. Mostly, the cries that fell from your lips were Aemond’s own name, something that fueled him and drew him closer to the edge.

It felt like heaven, having your cunt wrapped him and your lips screaming his name. A few hours ago Aemond would’ve never in his wildest dreams guessed that he’d be here, pleasuring his wife he was so sure wanted nothing to do with him.

After you were forced to marry him by your father, he made a promise that he’d stay away for as long as possible. He made a promise that he’d give you your space, thinking that’s what you wanted, but now, Aemond knew that promise would go out of the window.

After tonight, he would never let you go, and you had no problem with that whatsoever.

You’d stay like this with him forever if you could, but a familiar knot in your stomach held you back and you knew that you were close to your peak, again.

You could feel it in the pit of your stomach, along with Aemond’s cock as he sped up.

Lewd sounds of skin slapping against skin filled the room, and it would’ve had you embarrassed had you not been so far gone.

With your eyes screwed shut and shameless sounds of pleasure leaving your lips, you could care less about that. The only thing you felt, the only thing you wanted to feel was Aemond and you did.

You felt his cock twitch inside of you and you knew that he was close, just like you were. His pace began to lose it’s rhythm and his grip tightened, both eyes squeezing shut as Aemond finally reached his high and spilled inside of you.

Likewise, you accidentally bit down on his shoulder and scraped your fingernails against his back as you experienced your second high, your cunt clenching down on Aemond’s cock and milking him until he was spent.

A low groan left his lips as he felt you completely fall apart on his cock, enjoying the sounds you made before you finally began to calm down.

Soft pants left your lips as Aemond remained on top of you, unmoving but careful not to crush you with his weight. Somehow, he still had the strength to prop himself up and hover over you which was a miracle because you were exhausted.

Your body ached in the most delicious of ways, your cunt throbbing and leaking with Aemond’s seed.

You knew that if you didn’t take moon tea soon then his seed would take but that was the last thing you were worried about.

You were too caught up in your own bliss, too happy as you stared at Aemond to care. You thought he looked absolutely beautiful above you, looking like the Gods people always compared the Targaryens to.

In that moment, you truly believed it to be true and you wondered how you had gotten so lucky. You wondered how you were blessed with such a man for husband that he could easily be mistaken for a God.

You wondered why the Gods chose you to marry him and silently thanked them for it.

But most of all, you wondered why in the hell you didn’t approach him sooner.

[gor3sigil]

Trans drag performers deserve better.

Okay so since y'all seem interested, here we go.

[This is about MY experience as a “former” transmasc drag king, in my local scene. This isn't representative of the drag scene as a whole because drag is a wide, huge scene with pretty much any type of people in it. I have never done paid gig. I only performed a couple of times before deciding to stop.]

I discovered drag with RuPaul like a lot of people, and for a long time, I only knew about drag queens. It’s when I learned about an initiation to drag king happening in my town that I decided to try it. I did a bit of research before the event took place and that's how I learned that drag king is widely undocumented, compared to drag queen. A bit disheartening but I was excited to do something new and especially to get back in my local queer community after 2 years or so of “no contact” with it because trauma (see my post about my first T4T relationship to understand why).

First surprise when I got there, I was the only transmasc present as an attendee. The organiser and person who teached us is agender and go by he/him, and his at the time SO is a transmasc enby but appart from them, I was the only trans person. Most of the others were cis lesbian women. Makes sense. The initiation weekend went really well and we ended up performing in an open scene at the end. I can't count the amount of times I got misgendered by other kings during this weekend and I have to say, it pissed me off so fucking bad because I was the only one getting consistantly misgendered. But I brushed it off and had a blast.

My drag persona is more of a dragula king, really goth, and I did a lipsync performance on a Black Dresses song. I loved it and had a blast. A year or so later, we decided with other drag kings to do a little group to perform together.

Once again, I'm the only trans person.

And that's when the shitshow kinda happened. From all the drag kings present, I was also the only one who wasn't already part of a collective. So the group we had was composed of people from 2 collectives who would basically cheer each other out at every show, and it's great !! But I wasn't being integrated into the group, and I felt defeated. One of the main reasons why I didn't go to drag shows was because I was FLAT BROKE. I couldn't attend these events as they were always or in a bar so you have to at least buy a drink, or had a fee, and I couldn't afford that.

We started doing rehearsals and I set up a discord server for us all to use and organize the said rehearsals. It soon became apparent that they weren't really serious about this group, that they were more involved in their own collectives and it was HELL to have at least one rehearsal a month. But we had a show scheduled for september, and half of the kings weren't ready, didn't know their texts nor songs. I knew it was going to be bad. Also we were confirmed that the gig was going to actually happen 3 days only before, because the people who said they were going to do the visuals NEVER DID and we had to fumble something quick so the event was promoted very fucking late and we weren't sure we could even afford to do it, because not many tickets were sold.

During the rehearsals I got singled out for everything. My voice was dropping because of the T (I had started 8 months prior) and I tried to do my best with the singing parts but got told a few times that my low voice would sound “weird” amongst the sopranos. Also, one of the solo part a king was going to perform was on a very upbeat music and he said we could join IF WE WANTED.

I said I'd pass since it wasn't my style at all.

And when we got to the venue, the venue didn't have any backstage and I had my solo part just after that, so I couldn't just stand there on stage and do nothing. The others in my group KNEW IT as they had performed in this venue BEFORE but just told me “oh, too bad, improvise something” when they were the same ones who told me that taking part in the number was not mandatory.

Regarding the other artists, man, I hated everything. I got misgendered constantly IN KING LIKE - I'M A DRAG KING FFS. Even by others in my group.

When I corrected another performer, a cis gay dude, he laughed at my FACE and told me “but you're trans aren't you like, against gender or something ?”. As I was pre op and still early in my transition I was basically outing myself everytime I told my pronouns and I got so many cis performers ask me invasive questions about my sex life, or being like “yeah I have a trans friend who goes by X but I knew them as Y so it's Y to me but it's not in a disrespectful way you see”.

So yeah, I didn't have a great night. :)

The cis kings called me “girl” or “sis” because “I'm one of them” even after telling them time and time again that I wasn't comfortable with that.

And after this quite disastrous experience, the same ones who called me “girl” and me got into an argument because they wanted to change a song about forced toxic masculinity which is an INCREDIBLY POWERFUL AND BEAUTIFUL SONG into lyrics to talk about femininity. I said that we could use another song then, because there's so few cis men singers who sing about being forced into toxic masculinity and virility that I found that a bit disrespectful to take this important message and make it about women and femininity. There's plenty of songs about that that we could use.

And now guess what ? I was a MEAN MAN who wanted women to NOT TALK ABOUT THEIR ISSUES because I was a very MANLY DUDE DISGUSTING MALE.

The same people who couldn't gender me correctly and called me “sis” a WEEK BEFORE.

So yeah, I got the fuck out and gave up.

I really wish I can perform again one day, but it'll be in another scene.

So PSA: book drag kings, because they are so underrepresented it's disheartening, RESPECT trans drag performers, don't but bioessentialism in drag for the LOVE OF GOD IT'S DRAG. Like imagine being transphobic as a DRAG PERFORMER. Learn the history. And fucking do better.

[earlycuntsets]

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Episode Title: Three Cheers For Warped's Little Darlings! Synopsis: From almost getting shot to fear of karaoke, My Chem comes clean. Cast: Gerard, Franky, Mikey and Jenna. [Photos by L. La Mer] Air Date: Warped Tour/Summer 2004 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Other than being able to sit down for interviews with wonderful people like us, what does being on the Warped Tour mean to you? Frank: Oh wow! Personally, ever since I was in bands at thirteen I tried to do battle of the bands... play Warped Tour and things like that. I never actually won any of the battle of the bands but it's a dream come true to be on Warped. It really is! It's unlike any other tour we've been on and you can't prepare for it in any way. But it's definitely a dream come true to play with some of my favorite bands of all time.

Seeing as though it's Warped's ten year anniversary, give us some insight as to the kind of kid you were when you were ten. Frank: Asshole. I was such an asshole! Uhhh Delinquent. I was told I was too intelligent for my own good but I don't know about that. I didn't like authority and this was at ten! Gerard: Tell me what has changed? Frank: She just said ten, she didn't say now! But I could give you the same answer; you never know! Gerard: I didn't want to say anything. Frank: I was pretty much like I am today but I wish I knew now what I knew then. Does that make sense? Gerard: I liked Star Wars when I was ten.

There's a rumor circulating around that My Chemical Romance is the love child of the Warped tour... Gerard, Mikey and Frank in unison: Whoa! Wow!

Gerard: We are loved. Frank: But what does that mean, that the Warped Tour and another tour got together and had... Gerard: Yeah like Ozzfest and Demolition Derby got together and... but yeah, I feel it. We are extremely accepted and supported and loved so... Frank: But I almost got shot the other night though. [He says this almost nonchalantly as if it's a frequent occurence.]

Shot? As in shot, shot? Frank: Pellet gun shot.

Why would someone want to shoot you? Frank: Oh, I wasn't allowed in a certain VIP barbecue that I wanted in to. Mikey: Chris was like, "just go up and tell them my name and you'll get in" and the guy was like, "who?" Frank: And he was like "I'll shoot you." [Forms a gun with his hand and points it at me.] But as far as a lot of the bands on this tour, they really respect us and it's great because we really respect the bands. They come to watch us all the time and it's been amazing. Gerard: We're very lucky. We feel lucky everyday when some of our favorite bands make time out of their day to come and watch us. And they do that everyday. Frank: The other day, well not yesterday but the day before, we closed and it was really late like 8:10 to 8:40 and we didn't think anybody was going to come to watch us. But it was all of our favorite bands, like the Souls (Bouncing Souls) came out, Anti-Flag came out... It's a beautiful tour! Gerard: It made me proud.

Kinda like what happened today? Frank: Oh yeah! That was amazing!

What happened anyway? Frank: All the power went out; the generator exploded. Gerard: It just went out yeah. Frank: It has never happened to us, ever.

The response was incredible. Frank: We traded a great set for a great experience. Gerard: Exactly!

*Note: Earlier that day in mid-performance, My Chem lost all sound just as they began to play their hit song "I'm Not Okay." Instead of walking off and calling it a day, the band and the crowd began to sing the song accapela. It was quite impressive to watch the dedication and love that their fans have towards them.

Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge is a very strong title. Whose concept was it and is the band afraid of karma? Gerard: Is the band afraid of karma? Uh...wow! Frank: See here's the thing... [Turns to Gerard] Before you say anything... think about what you were going to say because I want to say something about karma. Mikey: I think the album is a product of good karma. I think we've done good things for people and I think that what occurs from the album can only be good. We've never done anything wrong to anybody. Revenge is meant in a different sense, not in the literal sense. You know? Frank: Here's the thing about karma. 'Oh if you don't do this,' something bad is going to happen but who's the one striking down on people? Somebody needs to do that. So if we're the ones to serve the revenge that's fine by me. Maybe we're just the angels of death? Gerard: Now it feels like when we play, we have a purpose. There hasn't been a moment... once in a while you get a little depressed, caught up in something else, but we feel like we have purpose every time we play to do some kind of damage. Not really to ourselves or to the equipment or anything but to what's generally accepted as okay. Like chewing up and spitting up the same bullshit, sounding like everybody else, being homophobic, all these things that are very accepted in punk rock that are amazingly still alive and well. It's fucking shocking... Frank: People never cease to amaze us. Gerard: ...and it doesn't feel like a threat to those bands you know. Really close friends of ours have said that and it's probably the best compliment that I've ever gotten for the band, that we were a threat. Ever since hearing that, I take it to heart everytime we get on stage.

In 'To The End', why does the elevator only go up to ten and would you feel okay getting off on the thirteen floor? Gerard: Well, I felt that picking a lower number would be like 'I can't get high enough' so I had to pick somewhere around ten. I felt like I just needed to get higher; like the top just isn't good enough. I think that's kind of a metaphor in how we feel and how we operate as a band, that the top isn't good enough since that's not what we're after. It's not good enough for us because we want to make a difference and actually change things. We don't just want things thrown at us. But I've gotten off on thirteenth floors. They make them right?

I know someone that lives on the thirteenth floor. Gerard: You do?

I truly do. Frank: It's good luck.

I think so. Frank: I think it's good luck. Gerard: I'm superstitious though.

When you listen to a CD you need something to reference it to. When I listen to MCR, your sound changes from one song to the next and I hear a whole slew of things. Was this done deliberately? Gerard: We can't really write songs that sound alike. We like to capture moods and you can definitely pinpoint those moods. You can say this is the same kind of mood or feel. We like to explore themes and moods but style is something we can't live with ourselves doing over and over. And if that means we run out of material eventually then that's fine because you'll never get something twice from us.

Yeah in like an hour. Frank: I don't know. Gerard: Let's say the whole band died, we'd just get back together and start playing again! [everyone laughs]

You'd find each other. Gerard: Yeah, I think that's what we'd do because this feels like our purpose. You know, it seems like our cause. Frank: We're definitely not done yet! Gerard: Yeah, if we died I feel like we would find each other and just start over.

Do you think writing in the first person makes you more vulnerable? Gerard: Umm... sometimes. I was always worried it was going to make me an egomaniac. I was more worried about that, but then I realized that the way I ended up writing is just more I, I, I, instead of a you and a we. When I say "I" I usually mean the band. I usually mean it in a way that I think that these guys are feeling it at the same time without saying we. [turns to Frank and Mikey] Don't you feel that way? Like when we're on stage and they're singing with me, I feel like they mean it the same way. Frank: It's a more definite thing, more urgent. Gerard: Yeah.

You're in a karaoke bar and you've had too much sake. What song... [Frank turns to Gerard] I know what you're going to say!

...do you sing and do you totally rock it or do you totally kill it? Frank: He rocks the shit out of it! Totally Bon Jovi! Gerard: Bon Jovi... 'Living On A Prayer.' It's funny because a lot of people give me shit when we go to karaoke because I won't do it.

Really? Gerard: Yeah. I'm terrified of karaoke unless I'm wasted! That's the only way I can do karaoke.

You can go on stage and perform for a whole bunch of people... [Gerard shrugs as if to say that he doesn't understand it either] Frank: It's funny because it's rare that we would be out and not wasted. Gerard: Yeah, yeah, that's true. [to Frank] What would you sing? Frank: I have been known to do 'I Got You Babe' with a friend of mine, Greg Southside and we do the shit out it! We've been kicked out of bars because we did it so well. But Ray would like to sing probably 'Only The Good Die Young'. Gerard: By Billy Joel.

In 'You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison' the main character is made to do pushups in drag. If you were forced to so something in drag, what would you choose to do? Gerard: Karate. [everyone breaks out in laughter] Frank: I liked the "if you were forced, what would you choose to do." Gerard: It's like the drag fairy comes by and says "what would you like to do?" Ahhmm yeah, karate. Frank: Really? Gerard: No. Really, I would do what I did when I dressed in drag this one time before. I went to school in drag, in art school and my day was completely different because everybody thought I was a chick. Frank: He looked like Christina Ricci. Gerard: You should see me as a chick. So I went as a girl, as like an experiment and it worked really well and everyone was really nice to me but I couldn't talk obviously... You know train conductors were really cool to me on my commute... Frank: I would date Gerard. Gerard: HA! I looked hot as a chick.

Which of your band mates is most likely to accidentally stick a fork in a toaster... Frank: Mikey.

You are offered something for free. Which do you choose? Sky diving lessons, a custom tattoo, a lap dance from an exotic dancer or 50 free sun tanning sessions? Gerard: Oh the lap dance! Frank: The tattoo. Mikey: What were they again? [Everyone helps little Mikey out] Mikey: I guess the tattoo. Frank: I knew it! Which is funny because you don't have any. Gerard: You would see what you could get and trade it for money.

Seeing as this is an electoral year, which person on the Warped Tour would you choose to run the country and why would they get your vote? Gerard: Fat Mike. Frank: #2 from Anti-Flag. That kid can rally. Gerard: Can they run together? Frank: Sure.

The Velvet Bag of Doom: First up is Frank who pulls fill in the blanks from the bag.

Caution! Do not put _____ anywhere close to me! Frank: Our drummer.

Oh no! I didn't pack _________ Frank: Enough underwear.

If I was ever to miss the bus, I would ________ Frank: Stay home.

Mikey's up next and he pulls word association. First thing that comes to mind.

Video games Mikey: Mario

Birthday Mikey: September

Jack Daniels Mikey: Uh. Coca Cola

Spanking Mikey: I don't know! Gerard: Not even a bare ass? Mikey: No.

Gerard pulls 'name the band associated to the lyric'

"And you will tell all your friends you've got your gun to my head" Gerard: We can do another one because I've sang that one with Taking Back Sunday on stage.

Okay then, round two is a word association again... First thing that comes to mind.

Warped Tour Gerard: Hot

Buses Gerard: Nice

Marijuana Gerard: Stinky

Plastic Surgery Gerard: Awful

Why should the world give a damn about My Chemical Romance? Gerard: Because we give a damn about it. Frank: Save your life. Gerard: Yeah. Good enough for me. And there are so few people that actually do give a damn about the world. Frank: Yeah.

Very true. Gerard: I have a nihilistic attitude so it's like, the new gay...it's popular. You know what I mean? Frank: Popsicle is the new black. Gerard: What did I say? Oh yeah. Screaming is the new gay, everybody's doing it. Frank: I wish it were Popsicle. Gerard: Popsicles? Frank: Popsicles should be the new black and then everyone would have one.

I swear this interview contains 80% of our lore