#just trying to survive in my new job | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gingerplaysthesims · 1 year

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Roman bought the boat and made it into a floating gallery business kinda thing. What does he sell you ask?

Why, his self portraits of course!

Also some paintings of Virgil in post-apocalyptic setting. Janus is a fan.

#hiya what's going on i'm not dead #just trying to survive in my new job #roman sanders #janus sanders #sanders sides #sanders sims #ts2 #sims 2 #build

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rosicheeks · 1 month

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#anyone know how to deal with overwhelmingly jealous and envious thoughts?#I just can’t stop comparing my life to other peoples #just went to my sisters new place #I would literally kill for a place like that #but I’m still stuck in my parents basement #not having a safe space to go #I eventually got over it while I was hanging out with family #but when I left I had to bump into a group of girls #all dressed up #looks like they were either going out or getting back from a club or something #and damn #I miss those days #I only got a taste of it very briefly before I was even of age #like 18-19 #and now I’m fucking 26 and I don’t have friends to go out and have severe social anxiety #when I see people like that having a good night or whatever #I just get so sad and jealous #I’ve been wasting the past 6 years of my life #literally just trying to survive #and then everyone else around me is actually living and enjoying their lives #obviously it’s not all sunshine and rainbows but they have the support system or a place or something to lean on when something bad happens #I have nothing #I have no support system #not able to heal or really live in my current place #been struggling to just get out of bed #trying ro figure out a job but when I can’t even get out of bed how the fuck am I gonna do that?#struggling A LOT right now #shut up rosie #delete

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opens-up-4-nobody · 5 months

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#my dads back in ohio again so im back on my own. i still feel terrible but at least i have a plan #i have 2 weeks of this semester left. so i have to not fail my genomics exam and work on a group project plus grade a bunch #shouldnt be too hard but everything makes me so tired rn and i just feel this barrier between myself and everything else #even when my dad was here. i just dont kno how to feel happy. just varied levels of stress #but after the semester is over ill have to find a job for the summer. which super stresses me out bc i havent really had a real job outside #academia and im worried about how stressful ill find it bc im sure its gonna suck but at least i wont have to work on my project #i just think if i had a normal job that doesnt dominate every aspect of my life id feel a little less terrible. or at least i wouldnt send #myself spiralling so much. if i stay here i might not survive it #but what if ill just make myself miserable wherever i am? i dunno. but im gonna try to find a non academic job this summer with the epa or #maybe the usgs. i mean ive gota a bachelor's and a masters in environmental topics. that's gotta count for something #just get a government job. pray for a not terrible set of coworkers. and build something from there #it just sucks bc i feel like everythings falling apart and like i kno if i gave it my all i could pull thru and get my phd but im just so #tired of struggling against something everyone else can do. i just cant read at a level appropriate for what im doing #ugh. i dont wanna study for genomics. i just wanna sleep. i just wish i wasn't in this position #and now i a baby about it. i mean my sisters r in similar positions bc the youngest is currently looking for a teaching job. and my middle #sister is looking to move to new york city in the next 6 months and she'd be quitting her job for that. so we're all sorta in flux #i just wanna not be flailing. not watch my hopes and dreams collapse. be excited about anything. im just sad bc i have to make hard choices #even if i know theyre the right ones to make if i want to continue to exist. sometimes u cant have the things u wany.#and that sucks and i hate it. theme of the year: sometimes life sucks and theres nothing u can do abt it #unrelated

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shinyeternatus · 8 months

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i think i need to bite the bullet and start fundraising for a new car

#mihai.txt #she is... not so good... and i think itd be cheaper in the long run to just get a new ine #plus when this eight weeks is over i have to start driving the mount pleasant for classes #and mount pleasant is an hour away and my sister said when she worked in mount pleasant she spent so much money on gas #and tbh i dont think my car will survive consistently making that drive for however long it takes for me to move out #like i am trying to find a place and a job more out towards mount pleasant #but my job simply isnt giving me enough hours to afford to move out or make rent anywhere #i cant even make my rent rn and its only $550 and most places out that way are $600+#i just... idk what else to do?#and getting my car repaired rn will cost $1000+ bc i need a whole new front bumper #its just. agh. it sucks!!!!!!

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altfire · 7 months

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finally talked to a doctor today 🥳 hopefully i'll hav some meds by tomorrow. im gonna crawl out of this fucking pit i swear to god

#i am so grateful for my husband i would not Be Here without his support #watch your feet #if i have been a bad friend recently i am in survival mode tysm for ur patience i am barely alive!!!!! i am trying tho!!!!!!!!!!!#i hate my job i also put in some new applications today just in case meds dont make it tolerable #but idk progress has been made. I'm Trying. It's Not Fucking Easy.

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opiumvampire · 7 months

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Ive been in this weird transitional state for like a year at this point and i keep putting off doing fun things and seeing my friends bc i feel like i should be “saving money” or “waiting until things settle down” but that just means i havent seen most of my friends in like. An embarrassingly long time. If you’re my friend and I havent seen you in a year I need you to come into my house and drag me out and take me to get boba

#i want boba #genuinely since like last march ive just been sitting on my haunches ready to run if anyone moves at me weird #ive been looking for a new job (i got one) and trying to move (in may) and people keeping like dying??? on me?? and its making it hard to #focus on things that arent like. survival.#maybe once ive moved and have gotten in the groove of my new job and have had time to relax a little bit i’ll come back from the dead #im good overall like ive very happy and chilling for the most part im just like. every time i go outside and see groups of girls out togethe #im like. i miss being in a group of girls. but my social circle hasnt been set up that way since like high school #girls if anyone wants to be my friend i will be making a google form so you can apply

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izzy-b-hands · 11 months

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prolific is slow, so more filming and posting it is for today (tho I'm making!! slow progress!! towards enough ad revenue for a payout, and i got like 100 views across all my stuff yesterday alone! which isn't a lot for most ppl but for me it's !!!! which makes it worth it to try and keep up the tighter filming/posting schedule as best I can)

#text post #im gonna check on prolific again tonight tho bc i can do more then as well #then break from that and filming the days i work the day job (in theory at least lol tho after shift time who knows)#i know being proud of my side gig isn't probably how most ppl want me to feel abt it but. i am proud #im creating stuff using myself! and ppl like it! and it's Just Me in the content nothing else for them to claim they watch for that only #and im exploring new things and feeling more confident in my body and myself and like. dang it i wanna be proud of that #im alive and im trying and I'm working towards better overall and being better and contributing more in general #i don't feel allowed to be proud of that either bc the bar is So Low but most of last week and into this one #the brain has been full on Suicidal Ideation time nearly 24/7 even with coping skills/tools so like. fuck me i think if i wanna continue #to survive and shit maybe i do have to occasionally let myself be proud of the lowest not even over the bar things

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neverendingford · 1 year

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#tag talk #as much as I hate to see the social cinema grow as I get new followers. we're at a good and satisfying number. and I like that #also also also. I've introduced a friend to Hannibal (tv show) and he's loving it and I'm so happy cause none of #of my other friends have been able to stomach the body horror. so it's super cool to find someone to hype over it with #another random story that I genuinely can't remember if I said already. got told by a kid in minecraft that he's smiled a lot more around me #which. huge compliment. genuine honor to make people happy and smile and laugh #people don't laugh enough. we don't smile enough. be happy or die. and I'm too powerful to die. been there. haven't done that #cry and then laugh and then punch as hard as you can.#got to visit some of my favorite residents from the nursing home I first worked at. lotta new staff but my three favorite nurses are still #which is nice. I cried when I left that job because even though it crushed my soul I loved my coworkers and most of my residents.#I get why some healthcare workers grind themselves to the bone for the job. you're making such a huge difference in people's lives.#I tried but didn't have the fortitude for it. but it's nice to be able to go back and say hi to the friends I made and see how things are.#anyway. sorry for being weird like.. one or two weeks ago. I think things are settling out again. moving is rough but we're making it work #It's been a lot of Lear again lately. especially while being at my parents house. he doesn't mind being deadnamed as much sooo....#idk. at least one of us is capable of surviving the dmv and the state medicaid website. heaven knows I can't manage.#trying to stop using him as a crutch for getting things done has just resulted in us not being able to get things done.#but I don't want to be someone else I want to be me. I don't want to be the armor I want to be the human inside.#I don't want to live defensively. pushing everyone away. I can't do that.#anyway. we're back home! and work is on the horizon. hopefully this job works out cause I don't want to have to apply for new jobs.#the hr rep is a man at this store and I immediately got set on edge and our voice dropped as I stepped back.#then we introduced ourselves with the wrong name and he got confused and I just felt stupid about it #but how am I supposed to know which name he's been told. he didn't even use our paperwork name. Anyway that was a disaster #but we're on track and embarrassment is not a setback but a feeling about the way things progress. and it is progress we're making

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wint3r-h3art · 1 year

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If I forgot to reply to you, or replying to you very sporadically….you didn’t do anything wrong. it’s me. I’m mentally unwell today, and I need a massive recharge.

#I’m a little stressed out trying to find new job #so I’m using a lot of my brain power to just survive #« trashcan » ( tbd )#linda ramblings

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fingertipsmp3 · 2 years

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I have an absolute perfect storm of a shift coming up in April and I can’t decide whether I should cancel it

#i’ll set the scene for you: 9th april. easter sunday. the cafe is going to be absolutely Mental that day i just know it #i am on shift with: my manager (who’s lovely but she will be in the office all day doing managerial shit unless it gets so busy we literally #can’t cope); another new girl (who’s fairly nice); and my most hated coworker (who made me cry last week)#and to cap it off: i’m probably going to get my period that day!!!!! or maybe the day before which would be even worse since it’s a saturday #and i’m also working that day #why did i so cavalierly say ‘yeah weekends work really well; give me weekend shifts’#i’ve gone ahead and figured out when all my future periods are and put a ‘DO NOT ACCEPT A SHIFT ON THIS DAY OR DAY BEFORE OR AFTER’#on my calendar on the expected day 1 of my period #i just don’t know what to do. because what if i cancel it (offer up my shift in the rota app) and then my period is late anyway #i would feel so stupid. and if i get it on the saturday there’s not much point cancelling sunday because yeah day 2 is still bad #but if i survive a day 1 at work i can survive a day 2 #the demon on my shoulder is like ‘quit’ but i LIKE this job and more importantly i don’t want to go back to job hunting #i’ve spent the whole morning searching up like ‘how to survive your period at work’ and gotten Nothing Of Use lmao #it’s all aimed at people with desk jobs and girl if i was allowed to sit down that’d be like 90% of my problems gone immediately #should i just go on birth control. should i call the doctor while mabel has lunch and see if i can get in on friday #that might be the cheat code honestly. just straight up skip that period and get it the next week #BC does give me absolutely wild mood swings which is why i’m not on it but like.. surely there’s One out there that won’t mess me up #like i was on loestrin for about 4 years i think. rigevidon messed me up but surely it’s not the only one that’s appropriate for me??#i’ll try to call them soon. gotta feed mabel first #personal

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devilofthepit · 2 years

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i am so much more mentally ill than i was last year but also in different ways. the problems i had a year ago have not gone away but i care significantly less now #growth unfortunately my current problems are now worse.

#i dont havé the mental fortitude to look at the long ass new years resolution list i made in my notes app when my phone was dying on the bu #s back from school #but i saw someone posting abt their resolutions and i remembered tjem and man everything i cared about was so stupid likr none of it mattere #d all my problems were so small #i mean i remember the state i was in around this time last year and thays not entirely true i was dealing witj scjool and a job etc but most #of my resolutions were just to stop caring so much abt things that #i never should have cared about in the first place #not that my problems are that bad now. many of them would be solved by not having a fever and not pmsing #some of them tho. are representative of larger issues. but i handle them #i just want to mot have to handle them for once i think having a fever is my body’s way of telling me to slow down and relax and not try to #have everything together but ive been sick for so many days that its getting old and i want to be done and there are legit things to do like #fucking finals #but i will survive life goes on etc #im not usually a new years resolution person but i think it might help to be more thoughtful and introspective instead of repressing #everything so perhaps i shall try again this year

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carsickcrow · 2 days

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the future is really freaking me out i don’t know how i’m supposed to be in college in a year that’s so freaking scary. but! thinking about the concept of riding the bus or other form of public transportation. 👍 i can’t drive nor have i made any effort to learn how to and i am turning 18 in. 4 months and 10 days. so. y’know. i gotta love walking and buses and the like. and i do i think (i can listen to my music :). )

#remy rambles #there’s actually a bus stop near my house that goes to the city i should try to take that bus sometime to see if i can Survive basic tasks #the fact that my peers have cars and jobs and future prospects is insane to me #i had 1 job for six months and then i got so so stressed out i had to quit #not cause of the job really because of school..but i can’t quit school!#man..i don’t like growing up. but at the same time i’m desperate to do it. like. i can’t keep being a teenager for much longer i am #at my limit with that. but i just need like. a several months long training on how to be An Actual Human Being before they just #put me out in to the Real World #they can’t just do that!#who is they. what am i saying.#i just want to go to art school and hang out but i don’t want to move away and i don’t want to stay here and i don’t want to pay for school #and i don’t want to get a job and i don’t want to meet new people and i do want to meet new people but i don’t want to leave the few people #i’ve managed to find.#every time i try to bring this up with my parents i almost start crying and they tell me we’ll talk about it Later but we’re #running out of later! i would appreciate some help!#ANYWAY i love thumbs up emoji 👍👍 thumbs up

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nauticalfools · 22 days

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#been stuck in bed for the last 5 days #tried to go outside today #went to a bakery nearby and fell in the middle of the street while crossing it #some people mainy kids going back from school got concerned #they all asked me if im okay #i got up was okay and went back home #and then proceeded to sob because thats the first time in months somebody irl near me cared #my body is aching from the fall #still #and i just realised iv been so exhausted mentally and physically and burnt out i cant function anymore #i thought i would be fine that im just being lazy with the staying in bed #but after my last job fucked me over i think that was the last of any energy i had #honestly ive been crying at least once a day for the last two weeks #usually twice or more times tbh #been crying all day today #i think im just a shell of a human at this point #ive been struggling for the most basic shit in the last 6 months #couldnt find housing still struggling with a job #cant even find a single friend #i keep trying with everything #but its not working #and im beyond exhausted #this new job better treat me like a human and pay me because i dont know if i can take another one of those on #like im unable to do anything make meals take showers you name it #i am absolutely shell of a human #i just want to feel like im able pay for my survival thats all #personal

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mcalhenwrites · 1 month

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I'm not going to pretend it doesn't make me angry that I spend months and years trying to peddle my work to make ends meet, that I spend so much time mentioning my books and comms and everything, and people ignore that consisently... But the moment I finally break under the hopelessness - when it's obvious that it's fucking futile, that almost no one deems my work good enough to share with anyone else - suddenly they're concerned and scolding me. I'm working several jobs, bathing, generally keeping things clean, and I do this with several health problems including chronic pain. I found out that one of my cysts is growing and I may need to have it surgically removed. Which means potentially missing work to recover. Which means more money I lose. I spend so much time crawling out of the hole and it goes ignored, but the moment I just give up bc I don't have any strength left, suddenly that's my fault and I'm mentally sick. And that kind of makes me wish my entire situation upon people, and when they whine that it's hard, well fuck you, you thought I could ace it so surely you can, babe! I hate being angry about this, but it's just so exhausting to tell people who accuse me of not trying that I HAVE I HAVE SO FUCKING HARD AND YOU DID NOT PAY ATTENTION THEN Or you know you're attempting to gaslight me by claiming I didn't try despite that I obviously have worked my ass off trying, and that's so much fucking worse

#mcalhen personal #and I'm not saying I'm not mentally ill but ffs stop using it as a weapon to discredit people when they have the solutions right there #feels like people hate my writing and me and that's why I didn't go “I got the job” bc friends who never support me would be like #“I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU CONGRATS” cool I'm not I spend an entire day usually recovering from very calm shifts at a job I like #but the moment I publish a book it's not congrats it's I don't know this guy I don't know Cal and I'm gonna pretend I never saw anything #I don't even hate my goddamn job even tho it can be stressful but it's the easiest thing for mostly just 2 days a week #but it is not sustainable and I cannot survive on this and disability would be invasive as hell and y'all don't know shit about how they #treat disabled people in this country but goddamn I have watched that shit unfold with my autistic brother who can't work #and I can never help him at this rate #bc I can't help myself #I can't help anyone #and saying that is a big fucking issue with people who think if they say 'it gets better keep going' I'll magically unfuck my life #as if I haven't spent the entirety of my life trying to unfuck things #as if I didn't give myself an education in spite of my family #y'all never been threatened with physical violence bc you weren't supposed to ask for school supplies and it fucking SHOWS #I have learned so many things on my own time out of sheer desire to better myself and my situation #but at a point where nothing works out and each day is just filled with more bad news #at what point am I actually allowed to give up?#or am I supposed to just keep this up until I die with 40 more years of collected bullshit pain #bc if you want me to live like this for 40 years then... you never cared at all #and what's so stupid is that I really want to earn my living by doing the work #I work on my art and writing but let's just admit that it's pathetic already #no mental health services or pills will erase that I'm a pathetic garbage can of uselessness #also I realize no one owes me anything like boosting my work or w/e #but also don't ask me to turn rotten ingredients into a feast and say I'm not trying when I can't fucking do it

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gays4vulo · 4 months

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manifesting summer goal of getting myself a new job for realsies

#im not too worried about this bc i have my plan and i know whats hindering me aka my current job/home life zapp all my mental stuff #so applying in survival mode sucks on top of the job hunt being as it is so i just need to do it in my own time but do it yeah know #plus i do plan to quit my retail job by the end of the summer and dedicate myself to finding a different job if i havent gotten it #to that point #anyways im hoping this and me journal will help dissway the evil voices trying to shame me into thinking ppl think poorly of me #for having not found a new job yet bc i know ppl know bc ive told them my plans but now my brains like yo they are all hating u rn #not keeping ur word or performing well in their eyes but like lad whos looking besides ur need and want to move out #anyways #rant fully over sorry to who ever reads this things are fine im about to make my friend a gift

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attractthecrows · 5 months

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making myself moody by contemplating the clan Revallen left behind

#revallen lavellan #i almost don't want to consume any more DA bc if they've defined clan tillahnen then his backstory goes down the shitter entirely #me forgetting that this is not my IP: BUT WHAT IF THERE WAS A CLAN OF ENTIRELY SECRET KEEPERS #but they're soooo. they're so. imagine you have a very impressive Keeper. like he's wise and powerful and you're so proud of him #he sacrifices his life for you and his son! how noble. his son takes over as Keeper. He's not as wise yet but he is powerful and SMART #Your new Keeper grows into the job very well. You're proud of him! you love him! he loves you! he loves his clan!#he's married with a child. how sweet. it's nice to see him happy.#his wife dies. oh no. he is distraught #he's only responding to his child. the poor man! you and the rest of the clan give him space and try to make the best of it.#but you're all SO worried! you've never seen the Keeper in this state! even when his father died he still managed to lead. but not now.#you do everything you can to support him. you make sure he's fed. you keep people from bothering him while he's grieving. he's getting wors #and one night he just vanishes with his child #you can't abandon him! he's your Keeper! he's in no state to be traveling alone! what if he does something drastic???#but you never find him or his child. you search and search for months and can't find a trace of them. eventually you mourn.#several years down the line you hear rumors of a conclave. good! the mages and templars are threatening everyone.#the conclave exploded! sad but predictable. those silly humans.#the Herald of Andraste survived! okay sure. humans right?#no he's Dalish! huh how weird. anyways #Haven was attacked! Ah! our poor kinsman caught up in this. how sad to die amongst shemlen #he survived!#they've declared an Inquisition! the Inquisitor...#...IS YOUR KEEPER!!!#there he is!! he's alive!! he's in charge of the humans' Inquisition for some reason but HE'S ALIVE!!!!!#do you pick everything up and go to him? or have you moved on as well?#'we cannot go back to the way things were'#vs 'we never cared about the circumstances - we cared about YOU. so what if times have changed?'

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