#just the way others view and treat them and the internal things they learn growing up

[alchemiclee]

other people can ship what they want, but I will only ship aventurine gay and never a straight ship. the dynamic of straight relationships/ships is never balanced (societies fault mostly) and that boy sure needs some balance. if you ignore the het-ifying of gay relationships with the whole pointless top/bottom debate, gay relationships are more equal by nature. aven needs someone in his life who is his equal.

for example, in the story it was pointed out the footprints were side by side when he was walking with ratio. therefore ratio sees him as his equal. and i'm sure aven would feel more at ease with him if he wasn't dealing with everything he was atm. aven is such an unbalanced character fighting against an eternal power struggle of everyone towering above him, trying to beat his luck, and he's trying to get above for once. then ratio appears, treating him as an equal, balancing him. even if you dont see it as a ship/see it as a platonic ship/nonromantic/friends you still have to admit how good their dynamic is.

[disclaimer edit: "by nature" I mean society's and most individual peoples nature. nature not meaning "science" but the built in habit that's existed in society and taught to people for millenia and people treat as "fact" (when it's not tbh) sorry for confusion! dont know how to explain it well! i was half asleep when i made this post idk what i was trying to say exaclty but it upset someome so maybe delete later]

[eulaties]

general thoughts about the 2025 小红书 boom

i feel like we're at a really interesting point in time right now, particularly in regards to the shift in american consciousness + changing world order, so i thought it would be fitting to document my thoughts about the xhs situation as a chinese american. however, please note this post is NOT speaking on behalf of any community, and i am only speaking to my own personal opinions.

the good

american propaganda is getting dismantled in real time. there's so much cross-cultural communication right now in relation to america's political issues, everyday life, and what china is really like

im already seeing people starting to learn the language, becoming interested in visiting china, etc. and i truly haven't seen this kind of mass interest in chinese culture in a long time

to be precise, the last time there was really "chinese soft power" in america was during the mid-to-late 2000s. notably this time period included the 2008 beijing olympics which was monumental for china on the global stage, as it showcased their prosperity, openness ("北京欢迎你"), and equal footing in the modern world. ive seen people compare the xhs phenomenon to this event and while both are drastically different, i do think this is an apt comparison (though obviously this xhs thing is on a muchhh smaller scale...)

so many new friendships and connections are being made!

the bad

to add on to what op said, theres definitely a difference between just generally understanding that as diaspora, most people around you will hold sinophobic views about china and chinese people VERSUS actually having empirical evidence that most normal people didn't see chinese people as human before. its jarring to say the least. like everyone is praising chinese people on xhs now, but just last week everyone was fearmongering about us?? really reminds you that in the eyes of the public, favor for any asian culture (and by extension, its people) is fleeting and will often change easily with the season

and yes, its definitely weird to see people talk about chinese people as if they've never seen a chinese person in america before. like obviously there's a HUGE difference between mainlanders and diaspora, but there's also international students that come to america to study so... ??

the memes are funny, and i like how the people on xhs are playing along with them, but something about the "chinese spy" memes rubs me the wrong way. tbh, most mainlanders actually have a positive view of westerners and america, and if they don't study abroad themselves or know anyone that went abroad, they will never truly understand what it's like to be discriminated against simply for being chinese (there's a difference between knowing and understanding ofc; not saying that they're ignorant & don't know anything lol). this is just the honest truth, just like how i'll never understand what it's like to live and grow up in mainland china since im diaspora. anyways, i kind of question if mainlanders are actually aware of the loaded context behind those words. while americans are using the "chinese spy" memes as jokes now in reference to why tiktok is getting banned, it doesn't change the fact that many other americans truly do believe that there is mass chinese surveilliance/planted chinese spies in america (i.e., see modern-day mccarthyism, like how chinese researchers are often stripped of their titles/reputations, interrogated, and then silently deported). like language and framing does matter, and it has actually affected chinese people in america, but now you guys are treating it like a joke?

anyways, even with all of the bad there's still overwhelming good that has come out of this, and i do feel like its better to be more positive than negative about these things in the long run! who knows where tomorrow will take us but at the very least i hope everyone actively continues pissing off the american government 💖 amen

[k8martins]

. ⋆ ๑ wrapped around your finger

summary: reader is a new medical intern for the lvaces and tension runs high every time they interact, finally breaking after a tough game

request: no / yes

warnings: 18+ smut, rpf

a/n: this is my first kate fic so go easy on me lmfao and i got lowkey carried away it’s around 2k words so ummmm ya purr i guess

back in april, you landed a medical internship for the las vegas aces, just in time for the excitement of draft season. not only did your job enable you to interact daily with some of the most talented athletes in basketball, but perfectly coexisted with your interests in pursuing medicine. so far, your standard role was to examine and prepare players before and after games, including team practices. any injuries or concerns were also taken care of by you. however, being shy was an issue you still had to overcome. treating players with their kinesiology tape or bringing them necessities was always attempted to be a quick motion; hurriedly fixing them up and moving on to the next task.

but some players proved to make that difficult for you. coming into work on an average day, you found yourself kneeling at the foot of the newly drafted guard— kate martin. when she had got unexpectedly chosen by the aces, you sat watching from home, marveled by her tall stature and pin straight blonde hair. she was even more alluring in person, especially from the view of applying tape to her ankles and legs every other day.

“you know the drill, just keep your foot upright and i’ll get your ankle,” you murmured, looking up at kate as she was sat in front of you. her big blue eyes met yours, and she smirked without comment. quickly averting your gaze, you pressed your lips together in an attempt to keep composure.

one thing you had learned since she joined the team was that she occasionally enjoyed poking fun at your timid mannerisms.

“loosen up a little, girl,” kate playfully punched your shoulder, “i don’t bite”.

the gesture made you laugh and mumble some unnecessary apology, but you still felt her gaze even after you looked back down. trying to focus on the task at hand was nearly impossible in this position, being on your knees before her. as you pulled more tape, your mind raced of all the things you could do to each other. if one day you could set the professionalism aside and just push her legs apart—

“you’re my favorite medical person, you know that? you always get me right,” kate continued, knowing exactly what she was doing.

you snapped out of your thoughts and felt your face grow hot, looking back up at her. “thank you,” you said, barely getting it out, “a-and you’re all set now by the way.” kate thanked you with a slight chuckle, and was up and ready for practice.

——————————————————————————

it was interactions like these that kept you up at night. all the eye contact, suggestive gestures, and tension was enough to drive you crazy. you endlessly wondered if kate had meant to fuel the tension, or if it was all just in your head. regardless, these moments made you excited to come into work every day, anticipating the next exchange you two would have.

the entire next month of your internship consisted of increasingly tense encounters with kate, with each one wondering when she would just make a move. she had started to admiringly stroke your hair while you were knelt in front of her, knowing how much it would turn you on. every once in a while she would give your hair a light tug to make you look up for no good reason other than to get a good look at you. once you understood she was taking things a smidge further, you had no problem getting a little extra touchy when handling her legs, or simply handing her things like a towel or water bottle. you ran your hands up her legs in an “innocent” manner, both of you knowing damn well you were ready to find a secluded space together.

your favorite moments to see her were before and after big games. the way her pregame excitedness would be contagious, and the way after the game she would still have energy despite being tired. this day, kate was getting ready to play in a game with high expectations for the aces. you gathered all the things she might need, and headed into the locker room, where most of her teammates were already gone. you spotted her standing right in front of her designated space, and walked towards her. kate smiled knowingly when she saw you, and didn’t move out of the way as you bent past her to set down the water and towel in her cubby. your hips grazed each other when suddenly you felt her arms snake around your lower back. you slowly got back upright, and kate kept her arms around you, moving her hands to each side of your waist.

her big hands planted on your waist took your breath away as there was no escaping her now. face to face, kate kept her gaze on you.

“i was wondering when you’d come by,” she taunted.

you swallowed thickly, your mouth hung open but the words would not come out. even after a month, she still intimidated you with her beauty.

“i’m just joking, relax,” kate said, laughing lightly.

“i know. i just had to go find the best materials for you,” you joked back, trying to keep your cool and ignore the growing heat between your legs.

kate smiled back at you, sensing how needy you were becoming. “same time back here after the game?” she questioned, her voice low.

“of course. good luck tonight, kate,” you said back.

——————————————————————————

it was a tough loss for the aces. the final score came close, but ultimately the team returned to the locker room in low spirits. the loss was hard on you too, seeing kate frustrated out on the court, but you still had to do your job. giving everyone postgame materials and accessing injuries, you noticed to have treated everyone except kate. you craned your neck around the locker room, looking for the long blonde ponytail, but she was nowhere to be seen. eventually, the team had left for the night. you were left cleaning up after them, still wondering where your favorite player was.

you had your back turned from the entrance and putting away your supplies when you heard footsteps coming towards the room. your heart immediately began to race and you turned around to see kate standing a few yards in front of you, with an exhausted but eager expression on her face.

her eyes pierced through you, and your mind raced trying to think of something to say, but it was a blur as she quickly walked to you and took your face in her hands, kissing you deeply. your body tensed up at the surprise, but quickly melted down as you remembered how long you had been waiting for this moment.

it was a hungry kiss, with her hands moving down to your waist and pulling you closer. kate completely took control of you and backed you against the wall. in the heat of the moment, you decided it was your turn to tease her.

“where.....the hell.......were you.....” you said breathlessly between kisses. kate instantly pulled away from you and scoffed.

“just talking with the coaches, baby.”

her breathless tone made you weak in the knees and she immediately went back to making out with you. her hands found their way under your shirt and began exploring all over your waist. she passionately bit at your bottom lip as she moved her cold hands up to your tits, which she desperately squeezed at. the cold touch being in just the right place earned a little whimper from your lips. kate giggled against the kiss, finding amusement in getting you so needy so fast.

you felt slightly embarrassed at how easy you were being, and decided to switch it up on kate. maintaining the kiss, you made your way back to her bench, and pushed her down. you knelt down in front of her just as you did when you took care of her, but now your dirty thoughts were becoming a reality. kate did not protest being sat down and instead threw her head back, resting it right below her name plate— “K. Martin”.

your view from the kneel made your head spin tonight, with her face still sweaty and her messy hair slightly sticking to her face. she was still out of breath and tiredly looked down at you as you parted her legs. you kept the eye contact as you gestured for her to lift her hips in order to slide down her shorts. once off, you threw them elsewhere in the room, and positioned yourself further inbetween her legs. you looked up at her one more time and saw her chest rising and falling with every movement, her eyebrows furrowed in desperation.

“here? right now? are you sure, kate?” you questioned, half taunting half being serious. you placed your hand on her inner thigh and began slowly circling her clit. she bucked her hips up at the sudden touch.

“please...please...” kate whispered, and you felt your stomach flip. all of the nights she teased you and seemed so tough were now out the window as she begged you to continue.

looking around the room, there was no sign of life besides you and kate. you turned back to her and urged her to stay quiet before going down on her. your tongue skillfully lapped around her clit and she let out a strangled cry.

“shhhhh kate you’re doing so good,” you whispered against her wetness.

you brought your fingers up to her entrance and began circling around it before slowly inserting two fingers. you kept the sucking at a steady pace but began to finger her quickly. looking up at kate, her eyes were screwed shut and stomach tense. she was biting down hard on her lip, struggling to stay quiet. her constant little moans single-handedly almost made you finish, but you focused on her.

you continued eating her out as if she was going to disappear from under you, and picked up the pace. your left hand remained on her thigh and you felt her grab hold of it. she breathed hard as her other hand landed in your hair, lightly pushing your head and grasping your hair. you smiled thinking back to the times when she would have her hands in your hair while innocently getting taped up; oh how fast things can change.

“i-i’m gonna....” kate cried out, squirming beneath you and clearly reaching her limit.

the fast pace combined with tongue and fingers finally brought her to her release. kate moaned your name breathlessly over and over as she came on your fingers. eventually you stopped and she was able to ride out the high.

as soon as kate caught her breath she got you up off the ground and put you in her spot. she got on her knees and tugged at your pants.

“kate don’t you think we should stop... someone probably heard us-“

she didn’t even let you finish your sentence before she inserted her long fingers into you. kate did not hold back as she kept an unrelenting pace and began to kiss you. you moaned and panted into the kiss, struggling to kiss back.

you gave up on trying to kiss back and threw your head back, raspy moans escaping from your puffed lips. her fingers felt so good inside of you, hitting the spot with each thrust. she didn’t even need to do anything except finger you, and you were already close. you tried to moan her name but could only get out the “k” sound.

“just take it,” she demanded, getting frustrated you couldn’t kiss back.

kate began kissing down your neck and leaving very apparent hickeys all over. all you could do was moan as she took care of you, your eyes tearing up from the euphoric feeling. you tugged on her hair as you felt yourself on the edge of release. the way your hips squirmed and tears fell down your face told kate that you were ready and nodded at you to come.

her pace slowed as you relaxed from the climax and she began gently kissing your face. she wiped your tears with her other hand and ran her fingers through your messy hair.

“i got you wrapped around my finger, my favorite intern girl,” kate laughed.

“you’re so corny.”

“you.”

[anoant-haikyuu-dump]

The hyperfixation demons are screeching at me to write a comprehensive list of all the reasons I like Fukutora, so today I present to you "Ant ignores their responsibilites and spends several paragraphs explaining why Fukutora is peak despite them having roughly 10 seconds of shared screen time"

1. Contrasting Personalities In general their personalities fit together really well— Fukunaga barely speaks while Tora exclusively shouts at max volume and can't stfu to save his life, Tora's overly-intense and takes everything way too seriously while Fukunaga's cracking jokes in the middle of important games, they're even literal opposites on the court as the two wing spikers. Their differences compliment each other perfectly and because of that I think they'd grow a lot being together, Fukunaga would learn to open up and Tora would mellow out. Another good contrast is how Tora's all about looking cool and standing out while Fukunaga tends to blend into the background, which leads into my next point...

2. MY ROMAN EMPIRE (aka chapter 309) I know it's only two pages out of a 33 chapter match but i dont care, this scene makes me feral. I read the manga after watching Dumpster Battle, so imagine my suprise when my two favorite losers had a moment THAT GOT CUT FROM THE FUCJIGN MOVIE (I'm still salty, it should've been a full season).

Anyways these pages rooted their way into my brain because they show that even though Fukunaga goes unnoticed by most people (both in-universe and by readers) Tora realizes how great he is, and not only respects his play style but views him as a rival on the same level as himself. One thing I appreciate about Tora is that despite him being the stereotypical "strong manly athlete" type he doesn't think his methods are the best or only way of doing things; Fukunaga scoring points without "big fanfare" is just as cool as the shit he and Tanaka pull off. The phrasing "that I hafta surpass" could even imply that Tora sees Fukunaga as more than an equal, as someone who's ahead of him since he doesn't need to be flashy or loud to do amazing stuff.

Look at his smile on page two, bro's just excited to have someone who motivates him to keep pushing himself. And as we've learned from Kagehina: what's gayer than a rivalry?? All in all I think it's sweet that Tora notcies his efforts and admires him when few others do. Side Note, I've seen a translation of these that call them "Nekoma's Wings" and I think that's a sick nickname.

3. Bi Tora and Internalized Homophobia I love a good internalized homophobia arc, and characters like Tora that center so much around girls and manliness are some of the most fun to explore them with imo. You could say he's one of the least likely characters in hq to be queer since he's THE woman-lover next to Tanaka and Noya (and Yachi) but that's what makes it interesting—his gay awakening would hit like a tsunami and send him into life-ruining bi panic for months, especially since he's already such a mess when it comes to romance. He gives me the vibes of someone who has no problem with other people being gay but struggles when it comes to himself since it clashes with his conception of what it means to "be a man" or whatever. My point is he'd have the most intense no homo phase to grace this earth and I think that's both super funny and compelling for his character.

Also as a bi person myself it's kind of frustrating how bisexuality is treated online sometimes. It's annoying when a person's queerness is negated the moment they show attraction for the opposite gender, so headcanoning a character like Tora as a bi while still being openly into women makes me happy.

4. The Stage Play They're so silly in the stageplay. Why is he dragging him around by the feet? Why are they screaming at Kenma? Why is he constantly bopping him on the head in the background? WHY IS HE SERVING FACE IN THE PROMO PICTURES? So silly.

(Ignore how blurry these are lol) 5. Ant's Little Sister Bias This is a me thing, I like ships where one party has an annoying little sister who bothers them, sue me. Its cute. Akane and Fukunaga could have the most adorable friendship if you believe.

6. They Match Each Others Energy My first post about them was me rambling about this so just read that, TDLR they're both energetic menaces who match each other's freak.

7. Kenma's Forced Third-Wheel Purgatory Putting Kenma in a situation where Kuroo's graduated and his closest remaining friends are dating and constantly forcing him to third-wheel is just about the evilest thing you could do to the guy. He may be one of my favorites but this is well-deserved punishment for his crimes.

8. Baffled x Baffling Another ship dynamic I like a lot is when one person is unabashedly weird and the other thinks they're a total freak... but likes them anyways. They don't know why they like them. They can't explain it to anyone. Whenever the person does more weird shit they're like "why tf do I like you." But even so they're whipped as hell. Anyways Tora barely understands a single thing Fukunaga does and I think that makes for a funny crush to have.

9. Fukunaga's "Current Concern" Don't have much to add here, it's just proof to me that they hang out idc. Like why are you concerned about what he wants?? Kinda gay dude. Big fan of Fukunaga whispering to him and Tora answering at full volume so other people hear a one-sided conversation.

10. These Fics Before I knew this ship was even a thing I stumbled on these fics while browsing the Fukunaga tag, that's what got the gears turning:

• My favorite one, third-year shenanigans • Peak, need to be signed in tho • College AU • This one is mostly gen Fukunaga but the few moments they have are perfect (also really fun Nekoma interactions overall)

11. Other Miscellaneous Thoughts • Both of them being public figures/lowkey famous in timeskip is cute, like imagine them being each others' biggest fan before they make it big.

• Chef x guy who eats a lot is peak fiction. In this case they both eat a lot. Their grocery bill is a horror story.

• I know it's because characters are usually grouped by year and Kenma ditches them to sit with Kuroo but they're always together in the stands, pretty gay if you ask me

• I hc Fukunaga as genderfluid so Tora still gets his chance to be a wife guy. Him and Tanaka ranting to each other while Kiyoko and Fukunaga drink tea in peaceful silence.

• I think Fukunaga's the type to enjoy people watching and Tora's always doing something dumb. Observing him like a little bug under a microscope

• They're both so silly looking, cartoony ahh designs. I just think they'd make a funny couple visually, they're so square and stick to me if that makes any sense lmaoo

If you got through this whole post you're a real one, thanks for reading to my brain dump. I think about them every day and need more people to understand the vision

[theambitiouswoman]

Hey!

Can you give tips on being confident?

Taking care of yourself will help you feel better about yourself. Make sure to get enough sleep, eat healthily and exercise regularly.

We all have our unique strengths and talents. Try to figure out and focus on what you're good at, and practice those things regularly.

Become aware of how you talk to yourself. Negative self-talk can undermine your confidence. Try to challenge negative thoughts by replacing them with positive affirmations.

Setting small goals that are achievable can help you build confidence. Break down your tasks into more manageable goals. Celebrate yourself for each accomplishment.

Start standing up for your needs and expressing them (in respectful way).

Learn how to prepare and organize your tasks. The more prepared you are the more confident you will feel.

Learn new things. Knowledge makes you more confident. The more you know about something, the more comfortable you feel discussing it.

Stand tall, maintain eye contact, and offer a firm handshake. Acting confident can help you feel confident.

Picture yourself achieving your goals. You have to see it in your mind before you can see it in real life.

Decide on the person you want to be. Every detail about them. Then start moving how they would move intentionally.

Start accepting compliments. If you don't see yourself getting compliments, start giving them to others.

View failure as a learning opportunity. Everyone fails. The key is to learn from those experiences and move forward. If you don't learn, you don't grow.

The more you think about something, the more you can talk yourself out of it. If you've prepared, trust yourself and take the leap.

Affirmations in front of the mirror daily!

Help others.

Work on your grooming and appearance. The better you look, the better you feel and the better you will get treated.

Occasionally ask for feedback from people you are close to and care about. Don't explain why you are asking, just use it to measure what you can improve on or understand how you are being perceived and deciding if that is the result you want.

Do not compare yourself to other people! Everyone is on their own journey. Comparing yourself to others can sometimes be detrimental. Instead, focus on your progress.

Accept yourself for who you are, including your strengths and weaknesses. Accepting yourself removes the barrier for improvement that so many people create. It also creates a sense of awareness and understanding of where you currently are, and can logically and honestly help you determine what you need to do to get to where you want to go.

Do one thing every day that is outside of your comfort zone. Even if you are terrible. The point is to prove to yourself that you actually did it <3

Remember, how we do anything is how we do everything. Every small change we make, be it external or internal creates a ripple in our life and starts shaping a new reality.

[the-indigo-symphony]

This is one of my what-if type suspicions that isn't really founded on much of anything, but I would love to see a study about the tendency for more than one sibling/child to be plural in a family, because I suspect it would be higher than people expect based on their view of us as "incredibly rare"

On the traumagenic side of things, while any kind of trauma can result in a system, the traumatic childhood environments that are often seen correlated with DID (heavy, repetitive abuse; detached or neglectful parents; etc.) are rarely isolated to a single child (and even if they are, the effects of witnessing this treatment can also be a form of trauma), so there's the tendency for siblings in the same family to go through the same things that often result in being/having a traumagenic system (in other words, if one child in a family is exposed to this risk factor for developing a disorder like DID, the rest of them almost certainly are, too). But beyond that, there's also how one's disposition to dissociation likely has a genetic factor (I'm sure I've seen a study on this before, but I don't feel like going to find it for this post), meaning almost any kind of plurality may be more likely to develop within some families than others, and the often overlooked matter that if your siblings do something (like talk to themselves, treat their OCs as real people, etc.), you are likely going to mimic that behavior, especially when you're young and they are older than you. This may have the effect of younger siblings having a slight increase in the chance to develop in a plural way, whether that means they begin to see themselves through a plural lens (such as what Internal Family Systems does) without exact recognition of what they're doing, or accidentally become a created system of some flavor (ex. "my older sibling likes to talk to their OC so I'm gonna do it too, now it's been a couple months and my OC talking back to me inside my head") – or they may simply behave in ways associated with those who are plural/plural-adjacent due to mimicking and learning such behavior while growing up.

Again, I don't have any hard evidence or anything like that for this thought. This is just a particular facet to "there are more plurals out there than we think or that statistics show" that I wanted to muse on

[bengiyo]

Be My Favorite Ep 5 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Kawi went on the class trip that he missed in the past and encountered incredibly frustrating hazing rituals. His affection for Pear was used against him, and he ended up mildly embarrassed when Pear turned him down as gently as she could. Pisaeng, after being chided by Kawi, also directly turned Pear down. Max was glorious and unbothered. Not and the seniors suck. Pear is absolutely someone worth admiring, and I get why people like her. I’m currently impressed by how well this show is enabling everyone to grow by having one person start down a path of becoming more emotionally honest and forthright.

Curious that the show went out of the way to make sure we know that Not gets no bitches.

I like that Pisaeng is tippy-toeing to confessing to Kawi. He told him he made things clear with Pear because he cares how Kawi sees him and he needed to know if he was still going to pursue Pear on his own. He doesn’t want Kawi to know that he and others heard him being rejected.

Oh, it’s cool that Kawi is having a hard time taking advantage of the lottery.

Kawi building an interactive friendship with Pear is also a huge relief.

Big fan of the way the time travel rules have been established, because we have a reason to stick around here.

Kawi, please don’t knock yourself for being a subtitler. They are the most important people for the international audience.

I feel like Pisaeng is properly dealing with his own queerness for the first time, and I really hope he goes back to the gay club later.

Not is really making himself appealing to the girls by being condescending and an asshole.

Big fan of Max. Don’t be moody about your problems if you don’t want to tell me the tea. Also, it’s your issue not your potential suitor.

He went back to the club! This is definitely his first time being in a queer space.

Nooo! Don’t run away from Max!

I feel sad for Kawi that Not and co. took his joy for songwriting.

Oh, yes, Max. READ HIS ASS.

I need to learn the name of Pear’s friend because she just delivered a WORD. Being kind and offering encouragement costs so little! Stop being so mean!

I am in love with Max. He was a bit harsh with Pisaeng, but baby gays need to get over themselves a little bit sometimes.

Look at that. Just a little bit of encouragement and Kawi’s already doing better.

This show just said we have a duty to be kind to each other and ourselves, because the world is just a place. Oh my goodness.

This the third time we’ve seen someone get rejected kindly on this show. In each case, it has seemingly made things better between the pair. I feel like we will be writing about this more later.

This show just said “changes are more important than miracles.” What the absolute fuck? I am kinda losing my mind over a Jittirain show once again.

Gawin is so fucking good at playing a gay man learning to love himself. This is the third time!

I love that someone else saw potential in Kawi after he put himself out there. It wasn’t the chance he wanted, but it’s the one he found. This is actually really nice.

Curious whose perspective they want us to read this final montage from. Both? Neither?

Gawin played freshman Pisaeng differently. That was so well done. He’s talented.

Wow. I think I actually really like this show. It feels like it’s trying to gently deprogram the audience. It’s like it knew a lot of us were bringing a lot of hostile energy to the viewing and said, “Would you mind being just a little bit kinder?” and you know what, maybe I will be. This has been really lovely so far, and I think I need to soften my stance with it. There are some incredible ideas here about the important of community and treated each other with just a little bit more kindness and respect. I also like that the show said plainly that it hurts us all to withhold our feelings from each other, because even if we can’t reciprocate them we can still build something good for everyone out of it. I will be seated for the rest of this ride.

[nastyburger]

Hi ! I'm not sure if you're still answering asks for dannyverse, but I just went through the whole tag (which is fueling yet another DP fixation in my brain) and had a couple Q's ! I'll put these in separate asks because it might get long idk ! Number one ! I'm curious as to if/how Dex's opinions on ghosts would differ from the other's as a result of him not actually being part ghost and being generally closer to his parents (and partaking in their research, which is often being about catching/studying ghosts). There's also the fact that Dex's only experience with a halfa (in his universe) is Vlad which is.... not a great first impression probably. I'd like to think that Danny (and probably Danny B, since they both grew up with Maddie and Jack treating ghosts as more non-sentient creatures), although at first he considers his ghostliness a trait that makes him a 'freak' as is implied in the show, would over time form more soldarity with ghosts and realize that they are in fact sentient and deserving of being treated as such. Ghouly and Mourner probably probably wouldn't have that same initial internalized prejudice against ghosts (or not to the same degree at least) considering they don't grow up with the Fenton's, but I imagine they similarly end up at a place of solidarity with ghosts since it's a part of them now. This isn't to say I think Dex is malicious towards ghosts or thinks badly of them or anything, just that there might be some dissonance there in relation to the others ? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this (and on any of the other's mentality around ghosts as what I wrote down are just guesses !)

great question! dex's relationship with ghosts is largely stems from a scientist standpoint (like a zoologist/outdoor biologist kind of way not a cadaver dissection way). Dex's journey with ghosts throughout the show is a lot of him just learning how they work, the intricacies of their biologies, and overcoming the biases or false information from his parent's studies. Especially when he starts to befriend some ghosts like clockwork or sydney.

Jack and Maddie likely do a little bit of dissection on the side but dex's constant involvement since childhood and their stronger relationship with him than other danny versions curbs a bit of this behavior (at least openly). When Dex starts his own independent study of ghosts at a young age, he did the easiest/most appropriate thing he could do which is behavioral observation. this gives him a completely unique perspective on ghosts that his parents don't have, whose studies where completely hypothetical at one point in their careers.

I do believe Jack and Maddie are actually good, (somewhat) ethical scientists in Dex's universe. I feel like they would have to be for him to take such interests as a child and not be scared off of it at some point. Their more questionable stuff is done in private and they teach Dex only the facts first, personal biases with asterisks later. (ex: ghosts are MONSTERS of course we still need to do more research on this to really confirm this)

Every other version of the Fenton's research is more along the lines of "we have to study ghosts to learn how to ERADICATE them" but Dex's parents lean more towards "we have to study ghosts because they're an unknown entity that needs to be explored........and also get rid of the one thats terrorizing the town". So yeah, there's still a bit of disdain there but theyre much more open to learning about how ghosts work, especially after their son becomes ecto-contaminated and they realize completely eliminating it from his system isnt really a plausible option.

SO, to summarize Dex's view on ghosts: he knows and has been exposed to his parents' biases and beliefs, maybe even internalized some of them (but hey what danny hasnt lol), but is ultimately taught to be his own scientist and form his own opinions and beliefs. At the dannyverse point in his story, he already understands the complexities of ghosts, how theyre not monolithic, and how vlad being an asshole is completely dependent on his human half not his ghost one. So when Dex meets the other halfas, there's not really that distance between them. If anything hes excited cause he gets to learn more about halfas and how they work beyond just vlad.

As for Dex's own relationship with ghostliness, thats heavily outweighed by the whole arm disabilities thing. The psychic ecto powers is so minor and not visible other than the green eyes, aside from control its not really something Dex needs to navigate. He probably feels a small kinship to ghosts because of this aspect but it ultimately doesnt bridge to any kind of understanding between them. At his core, Dex is still wholly human.

(Speedrun for everyone else and their relation to ghosthood: Canon Danny believes his ghost half makes him a freak, Danny B's human half was also heavily ostracized so he believed all of him was a freak, Mourner thought of her ghost half as a curse or punishment, Ghouly thinks of it as a superpower that was really cool but questions if he deserved to have it)

[forgetful-nightmares-stuff]

I THINK N HARMONIA HAS FUCKING ADHD: THE RANT

Hey, hi, yeah, remember me? I'm that random user who's procrastinating heavily on drawing N. Yeah, hi!

I had a rabbit hole last night and I need to rant. So, I'm going here.

I was messing around with something and eventually found this old post, which has information on N and Ghetsis.

N's interested me a fair bit (like how he can perceive people's past and future– which I interpret as him not being a psychic but instead he can just very easily read people's intentions through body language and such (considering that he's extremely observant). Like, he can very easily tell who's good, who's bad, and who can challenge his ideals. If he were psychic he'd already know that the pokemon liked/loved the player by seeing our interactions with them before and after, so he wouldn’t ask your pokemon on how you're treating them. He’d also know the future and see through Ghetsis’ plans which just throws a wrench into the story.) But what caught my eye was he's stated to have a high IQ and is a genius at math; which makes him Gifted, which is neurodiverse.

Anyway, I then did a bit of digging at like 1:00 AM because why not? And I learned that 50% of the gifted population also has ADHD. And, the idea of N having ADHD makes sense to me. Not hyperactive ADHD (you're hyper, and the noise in your brain is more physical) obviously, look at him. But, rather Inattentive ADHD (More mellow, and the noise is more internal and thought-based (what I have :D)). N is way too caught up in his head to not be the Inattentive type. He can also be AuDHD, or neither and just be gifted (which is possible, there is an overlay between being gifted and autism/neurodiversity.)

But IF he has Inattentive ADHD (and I'm not just projecting heavily), I did do some digging into the topic of ADHD Gifted kids and I found this about ADHD "Superpowers"

And uh... I realized I never really looked into these myself. So I decided to check it out, and what did I find? ... yeah more "N most likely has ADHD" stuff. And I'm gonna go through it to the dismay of everyone. Sadly I can't make a color-coded presentation because of time and finals. So text instead!

Note: I am not at all a professional; I'm just someone with ADHD hyper-fixating badly on a green-haired creature and I also took one Anthropology, Psychology, and Sociology class for my high school credit and wanted to make a character analysis for him a while ago anyways.

On we go-

"Intuition and connection to emotion

• The “big feels,” when given space for expression, can be very informative in ways that aren’t accessible through a filter of rationality

• We want to encourage the kid to learn and practice her own capabilities in emotion regulation, while at the same time encouraging exploration of some of the emotional intensities, giving space for them"

N didn't have this ability because of isolation for 13 years, but he does canonically have intense emotional changes, so that's just emotional dysregulation at its finest. Plus not being able to properly express them. (Actually, I did headcanon that N is really good at masking minor emotions but when heavy emotions come on (ex. Anxiety to sudden Distress) it's like a massive wave hitting someone. And apparently, I was right??? Even if a little-) 

"Perception/observation/curiosity • The ADHD brain is hungry for novelty and dynamic activity. It sees and tolerates/appreciates new ideas, new movements, new visualizations, and new concepts. • Individuals with ADHD often perceive (intuitively) connections or “flows” that are not appreciated by others. They often enjoy taking a “bird’s eye view” of things, and asking the “what-if” questions."

Yeah, this is N. With the fact that he recognizes that Hilbert/Hilda can challenge his beliefs and it intrigues him, so he basically starts a "game" in Nimbasa just saying; "Grow your ideals, do it. Challenge my way of thinking." then just leaves, what a normal guy.

"Social influence and charisma • This is a product of lots of the previously mentioned superpowers (e.g., flexibility, openness, curiosity, boundless energy, perceptiveness, etc) • The infectious smile that says a million words, is like an invitation saying hey, come check this out, follow my imagination, do this skateboard flip, try this new dish I made, look at this building I designed, etc. Leadership • The willingness to say things others might not say • The tendency to be direct and succinct • The ability to hold multiple problem-solving tasks in mind at once • Keen sense for group dynamics due to strong emotional intuition "

Yeah, these two were both nurtured and encouraged by Ghetsis. Doubt N really had much of a say in that. Gotta love being groomed as a child by some guy who grabbed you in the woods to be a cult’s king at the ripe ol’ age of like 5. N HAD to learn this, he HAD to gain his public speaking skills and just radiate cult leader charisma like he’s the damn sun.

N is also a rather fast talker, which makes sense with ADHD as well because they typically are very fast talkers (their brains are going fast, so it's easier to talk fast than to match everyone else's speed and slow down). So if N were to dislike people and social norms or Ghetsis did some abusive parent string pulling - maybe both - then N's fast-talking might have persisted out of spite or to have the ability to get his words out before he gets interrupted. maybe a bit of both, who knows

Or Ghetsis just really doesn't care if his son is a fast talker. 

Also, I remember a statistic I saw a while ago right; neurodivergent folk also have a higher sympathy for animals or something (idk I don't remember it completely, if someone would like to find it then be my guest), but (at least from my experience and with my autistic sister's input) it's easier to interact with animals than it is to interact with people – even without verbal communication. It's much more easier; no fear of rejection, and no expectations. Just you and the animal(s) you're with. Something that N would rather do than be around people. He hates people but adores pokemon and would prefer living with pokemon over people. Which is honestly so real.

Anyway, thank you for listening to my TeD talk!

(Btw; I'm not trying to say that N is 100% definitely ADHD- it's just a possibility aside from being gifted (which, reminder, can still apply to Allistic/Neurotypical people). Buddy spawned and everyone collectively pointed at him and said "He has a touch of the 'tisim." And has been HEAVILY peer-reviewed as neurodivergent since 2011. He can honestly be either Autistic, ADHD, hell even AuDHD and I'm pretty sure everyone will be okay with it)

((Also also, you can't tell me N's flavor of autism isn't Math, pokemon, and Ferris Wheels all at the same time. Pretty sure if you ask the right questions he'll give you a lecture about how Ferris wheels work (color-coded slideshow and math equations included) then all of that gets interrupted the second he sees a Butterfree with a slightly different wing pattern.))

[noriaki-kak]

Ooh actually I’m wondering now, are or were PeneLeo ever a thing? 🤔 Or was it more akin to a political marriage? :0

A little bit of both, but they were definitely a thing! The entire dynamic between all the Braithen kids is complicated but can be boiled down to “In a better world, in a better time, y’all would probably be one big happy polycule.” sdfgh

Penelope and Leo have known each other for as long as they can remember. Leo's parents were the rulers of Braithen and Penelope's parents were from a set of noble families in the kingdom second only to the crown. Her noble house had historically close ties to the church and her father was especially devout.

There were already talks of arranging a married between them, and thanks to them actually getting along really well growing up, their parents betrothed them to one another at a pretty young age.

There was real love between them, but the pressure of their marriage being arranged caused strife and tension between them as they got older. Penelope especially, she always loved Leo but the lack of choice caused a lot of unresolved pain.

All the Braithen kids ride the line between platonic and romantic love and those feelings shift and change with time. It's hard to put a definitive label on any of it! Especially considering the environment they grew up in made it hard to even recognize the budding feelings Penelope might've also had for Giselle or Leo might've had for Caspian as well.

Leo was a bit more oblivious, and even though he struggled with feeling controlled, he never fully saw the extent to which Penelope struggled. Penelope's father was deeply authoritarian, religious, obsessed with tradition, and ambitious. He treated her like a tool for his goals and didn't tolerate anything he viewed as disobedience.

His misogyny was rampant. Penelope's mother had always been extremely passive and deferential to him. Her own parents marriage along with her father's constant insistence she learn nothing more than how to be a good wife to the future king made it difficult for Penelope accept her betrothal to Leo, afraid she'd become like her mother.

It was always tough because of course they snuck out, of course they had moments to themselves where she felt free, they loved each other immensely. But at the end of the day they'd have to return to answer to their families, they'd have to go back home, and she feared a future where she was stifled even if Leo protested on her behalf.

Him not noticing her feelings didn't help, but she certainly wasn't a slouch when it came to hiding them. On top of that, Leo was preoccupied with his own internal struggles.

His dad was kind of an inadequate king. He wasn't malicious or awful, but he was a little incompetent. His father (so Leo's grandfather) died when Leo was young and he became almost mythologized as this legendary figure, lauded as an excellent king. Leo's father flounders as ruler trying to follow him up.

He raises Leo with a lot of words about the kind of man he should be without offering much in the way of actionable advice. In his naivety, Leo finds himself always striving to impress a man who isn't even sure what he's doing.

All of this culminates in Penelope rejecting him when he shows up in his demonic form. I've been a bit vague but when he's first cursed it's not quite just "imagine a tiefling" sdfghj and more like "eight feet tall, two large sets of curling horns, half formed leathery wings, imposing silhouette." the only thing that stays the same about him are his eyes.

And when he first transforms it is painful. So he immediately rushes to Penelope deliriously seeking help, and when he crawls through a window of the castle at night, he terrifies her. He's incoherent and desperate and before Penelope recognizes him, she takes a nearby fire poker in hand to defend herself.

It's really frantic, neither having much time to really think things through. Her deeply religious upbringing makes her doubly frightened. She sees his eyes, finally does recognize that it is Leo, and in his desperation to make sure she knows it's him he approaches her too quickly.

She knows it's him, but in her fear, she lashes out with the fire poker. She's not aiming for anywhere in particular but she ends up taking out one of his eyes and when he crumples in pain, she flees the room, sealing his curse.

In his pain and anguish Leo, runs through the castle trying to find his parents. Unfortunately uh, his dad sees him, has a heart attack and dies from the shock. After this Leo runs from the castle entirely, fleeing into the night. Leo's no good very bad day.

There's a lot simmering under the surface before this point but this night is the first event that marks the true end of their carefree days as friends.

[myinterestsvary-writes]

The Beach episode

Tamaki is sexist…

specifically in the way he treats Haruhi that he grows out of, which can be explained by the fact that girls his age - whom he is notoriously popular with - fit the way he idealizes and wants Haruhi to be as

…but I specifically remember watching Haruhi coming out of nowhere and redirecting their antagonism towards her and immediately thought as a little girl, “what are you doing by yourself like this?! Are you crazy?! You’re so small…plus you’re a girl against three men.” for real, THEN feeling further validation from what Tamaki had to say. That helped grow my admiration for Haruhi while reaffirming my stances on gender roles and heroism through seeing both sides, I.e Tamaki’s and the boys’ side of things. You can be a hero no matter your gender but you can also be smart about it no matter your gender (and I also thought Haruhi wasn’t being smart about it *cough* and I still do *cough cough*). You don’t have to care about gender while simultaneously acknowledge that not everyone thinks that way too. I’ve internalized this message so strongly up to this point in my life, it helps me not be selective in my understanding and usage of gender roles to my advantage and allowed introspection.

Haruhi was a boy to those offenders, so they attacked her as a guy (punching her in the manga) by pushing her into the ocean after berating her and not sexually harassing her like they did the girls. There’s not a doubt in my mind however that they wouldn’t have acted the same had they discovered Haruhi’s actual gender.

I don’t believe in victim blaming but I do think people need to take accountability somewhat for the choices they make that sometimes lead them to becoming vulnerable and harmed, that way things can be prevented or prevented from happening again. May sound synonymous to victim blaming to you, but I’m just not interested in woobifying anyone. It’s more disrespectful than victim blaming in the right circumstances. As in this one, not the bedroom scene I ain’t touching on because that’s pretty clear as an message for me as well but like…

Although I now believe Tamaki worded what he said poorly, I understood his intentions which I valued more than kind of weird imo interpretations of him saying, “you’re weak because you’re a girl!”. That just further proves my point of thinking this to just be poorly written, than anything, because Tamaki respects women in his own way that most women in his life adores (and if not then he adapts to them as individuals as a respectable person should) and holds no contempt for them in general. The message here in my eyes is that to others you’re more so viewed as weak because you’re a girl on average, because really, it’s kind of true. Gender does still matter, being trans surely does NOT erase that notion. Being GNC though, sure, but there’s still a ways to go in my opinion before there’s complete respect for that logical as shit perspective on things. Being outnumbered and being outmatched more than likely because you’re a girl against a guy, much less three matters because it is reality. Matters a little bit, just a little bit less so when you’re a guy because guys on average are stronger but no matter what the situation will be dangerous to take on alone. To say Haruhi shouldn’t have learned anything from what she did is a bit ridiculous to me, you have friends and family for a reason.

But I also get her point, “in a situation like that, you don’t have time to think.” And she’s right, which is why that kind of situation was inevitable for her to be in for me. It says a lot of good about her character, as we all know.

[4aceclover]

How do I feel about the Danganronpa V3 characters

(Boy edition)

Shuichi Saihara

I love him

He's a great (male) protagonist, and unlike the Makoto, and Hajime they actually give us a reason why he doubts his abilities and why he has no confidence

He's a very supportive person and he's the type of person I would want to have around me

I see a lot of myself in him: A person who doesn't want to hurt people but at the same time has to in order to help them

Not to mention the fact that I like how he's so emotional. This game makes it to where even though he's a boy, that doesn't mean that he doesn't have emotions

He got to have sex with pretty much everyone in his class now that's a lucky guy

He's totally bi/pan sexual but ironically enough I believe he's Demi romantic (Demi romantic is where you have romantic feelings for people you have close bonds to)

I like the fact that he became the next protagonist of V3 because it makes a lot of sense if you look at his ark and if you look at the way Kaede was trying to hype him up

It's thanks to him Kibō was able to become the next protagonist of this game

The relationships he's had with everyone has always been positive even with the liars like Kaito and Kokichi he still cares about them. (If it were me I would kill those two a long time ago)

Can be shipped with pretty much everyone

The most balanced character in the game when it comes to belief and doubt

Training trio role: the brain

Kibō (K1-B0)

I love him (Fav) second male protagonist

One of the most complex protagonists yet. A robot who wants to understand human emotion, and it's heavily implied that he truly is human underneath everything he wears for starters

Based off his interactions with Izuru it implies that he's more human-like than even that boy

His robophobia thing I actually find cute because it's kind of similar to people calling out somebody for their transphobia or homophobia nonsense which is awesome in my opinion

His relationships with everyone are awesome but there's three people in particular that I personally love his relationships with as it builds more depth into his character

The first one is Shuichi of course. In the game it's heavily shown that it's thanks to Shuichi's growth as a character that he was able to grow at a similar rate, and help them defeat Tsumugi during the final chapter. Just like how Kaede was a stepping stone for Shuichi, intern Shuichi became a stepping stone for Kibō's growth, but because we only focus on Shuichi a lot we didn't get to see that growth as much as we could have

The second person is Kokichi and his group that consists of Gonta and Miu but we're only going to focus on Kokichi for now. It's mostly thanks to these three but especially the little liar and he's able to learn more about not taking things too personally like a normal human. Just like for regular people, it's hard to brush off others comments about your identity, and so the more those three treat him like he's just a robot, the more he tries to show them that no he is more than that and it's even implied through Kokichi lies that he does indeed think he goes cool (but because he won't open up to people he would never tell him that)

The last person might be a little controversial and as much as I wanted to put the second main character into this, I feel like she doesn't do that much in order to help Kibō grow, instead I'm going to focus on the actual antagonist Tsumugi. It comes down to growth she is definitely the one who forces that growth, from her treating him almost the same as everyone else to her just calling him a straight-up character it shows that she has a negative view on him despite him being "the audience's eyes" (a topic that I'll get into later). But it's through her trying to force him to go back to being a regular robot that he's able to break through and show that he's willing to give up everything for his friends. the most character growth that she forces him to go through (kind of like Bill cipher forces of the character growth within the character of gravity falls) but he openly accepts is the growth of Self-sacrifice. Even though he had a chance to Kill everyone he decided by his own free will to protect them… even if it meant giving up his own life. We see that during the final execution it's only after some Tsumugi dies does he look down to make sure that his friends were safe, he smiles and he willingly goes up to the dome of the school and explodes it with his own body.

Overall he's an amazing example of the growth of an ultimate hope and in my personal opinion really deserves that title

Plus if you think about it there's a lot of theories I can come up with for this kid and a lot of them really hinge on the idea of him not being just a regular robot

For me he seems like a nervous bisexual mess who doesn't even realize it, and just like Shuichi he definitely screams demisexual

He's also pretty emotional but an unintentional Savage as well which is hilarious

Overall an awesome character with a pretty unique Arc (if you actually pay attention to his behavior throughout the game)

Rantaro Amami

I love him (he's a total mystery)

Oh boy where do I even begin with this one he is quite frankly one of the best written characters in the game despite him being so short lived

First off right off the bat he was the protagonist of Danganronpa V2 hands down that's one of the reasons why he's so high up on the list

An important thing about Rantaro (one I also personally love) is the fact that he has a mystery talent but thanks to the game and his love across the universe ending we learn that he actually has two. (and yes I don't care if his first one is a lie it still counts if we consider Maki's first talent still counts then his does too)

The best part about this reveal is the fact that these talents actually go hand in hand with one another the Ultimate survivor talent could have easily been achieved from his Ultimate adventure talent. Think about it this way he could have gotten his Ultimate Adventure talent yes, but because he's constantly surviving dangerous and crazy situations to find his sisters he could have gained his Ultimate Survivor talent because he can't be killed (normally) you have to come up with the creative way to kill the poor boy

Speaking of his sisters I know most people find the fact that he has 12 sisters kind of ridiculous, and that that twist in his free time events kind of makes it go from a tragedy to almost a joke, but if you actually look into the kanji that makes up his name it actually makes more sense. Amami in Italian is a species of rabbit, and rabbits love to have kids. (Personally I just find that funny but it doesn't make his backstory any less sad, in fact it just makes it worse)

Plus this also explains his behavior towards all the other students seeing them more closely as siblings rather than lovers we even see that during a secret event with Kaede

As for his love life it's hard to say he definitely seems Ace (Asexual) but not Aro (Aromantic). Reasons for this is because if you look at his love hotel scene he still would treat Shuichi like a sibling but during his free time events he blushes and it seems like he's developing a crush on Shuichi he cares about him but because of his low self-esteem doesn't feel like he deserves to tell a person he cares about how he feels he already lost his sisters the last thing he needs is to lose someone he deeply loves (again)

To be honest this kid is shrouded in mystery even without the killing game there's a lot of information he knows that if he shares with other people could get them hurt which is already really interesting and during the project development plan he's seen talking to mukuro and you go depending on whose path you go on two very dangerous types of people and I personally love that because it shows his Ultimate adventure talent shining on through

As for the game I wish that they never killed him off so quickly and instead of himiko he was one of the survivors

I mean if you Weeby newz video on the kid she acknowledges that during the development of the game THE CREATOR himself wishes that he never killed him off so quickly because of his voice actor. Which I find absolutely priceless, he was perfectly fine with killing the kid off so early, but the moment he heard who was voice acting him, he wanted to rework the script so he would live longer (and I'm pretty sure if he had it his way, and if the game wasn't already in development so fast he probably would have done it)

From the mysterious information that he knew to the connections to the previous two protagonists there is a lot you could have done with this kid and there's a lot you can still do with him definitely more helpful than Miu in my opinion

Also would have made an awesome manipulative Mastermind (look at that face and tell me it doesn't scream ultimate hypnotist)

Kaito Momota

He Awesome

Here we go the luminary of the Stars himself

So right off the gate I'm going to be honest the fact that he's voice acted by kazuichi soda is honestly ironic but I'll get into that a bit later

A very supportive boy but also incredibly naive and while he probably didn't realize it himself his beliefs are just as dangerous as Kokichi's

He wants to believe in everyone without doubt and while this way of thinking is fine considering how it's implied who he was raised by it's also incredibly dangerous as we saw on the 4th chapter

Chiaki stated it best herself believe without doubt is simply a lie and in some cases it worked well for some of the members of their class but in chapter 4 we saw just how much of a lie it truly was specifically towards his behavior with Gonta vs Kokichi

I personally think that he's an overwhelmingly positive character and I do like the effect he has on Shuichi and Maki, but at the same time I also wish he just listen a little more and paid a bit more attention to things cuz otherwise he could have helped prevent a few things that happened in the game

To be honest his way of thinking is also shown through Tenko which is kind of cool but I don't blame Kokichi for thinking he's an idiot (cuz he kind of is) that doesn't give Gonta to any saying calling him and idiot when he's just as much of an idiot

His motive video is also pretty tragic when you realize that even if Kaito had seen his motive video there would have been no reason for him to kill, because of it if anything that would just plunged him into deeper despair after realizing his grandparents are still waiting for him, or are probably died depending on your perspective

Definitely screams Bi idiot, but is also super oblivious (because in my eyes the reason why he never noticed Maki's feelings towards him was because he was focusing on his feelings towards Shuichi) also seems like the type of person who be fine with the polyamorous relationship

Even though he and kokichi are seen as rivals in reality they're more similar than you think considering he's one of the four people who had the opportunity to end the killing game but never took full advantage of it because of his own stubbornness (the other three being Rantaro, Kokichi, and Kaede but for different reasons)

His jealousy, cowardness and naivety honestly make him a pretty interesting character, because it makes him well rounded. He's not just positive and supportive he also has negative thoughts too, and just like a real person tries to push them down when it comes to lifting another person up (toxic positivity much)

And I'm going to be 100% honest here I don't really see him being sexist (he's not like Tenko)

Overall a very intriguing character, funny and very stupid but also just a delight. Just like Shuichi I wouldn't mind having a person like him in my life the only thing I wish he wouldn't do is constantly bring himself down by bringing others up and then try to run away from his problems

Training trio roll: leader/supporter

Kokichi Oma

Scary in a good way (not like Angie)

Haha another controversial character well let's not beat around the bush

A little gremlin who I personally find hilarious and kind of terrifying (with his sprites)

Love the concept of DICE, just his team of an evil organization, prank group, whatever I don't care I love that group!

His lies can be annoying but he's honestly pretty helpful if you bother to look deeper into his character

There are multiple times where he's telling the students the truth but because of the way he presents himself they think it's a lie

And at the same time he's constantly lying to himself about his emotions and about the killing game like chapter 5 pointed out

He has severe trust issues and his wiki page points out this D.I.C.E TV show which is an organization run by kids, orphans which allow many people (specifically in the Japanese fandom) and myself included to think that Kokichi is indeed an orphan

And if that's the case that would explain his trust issues and the reason why he seems to always be the way he is. If he was raised in a orphanage depending on what kind of orphanage he was raised into then that would explain his lying

He's a compulsive liar: somebody who lies because it's more comfortable for them rather than a set goal in mind, this is usually because people like that, grew up in an environment were lying & deceit were necessary and orphanages are the prime real estate for liars like that

Based on the way Maki explains her orphanage: it seems like a nice place with the only downside of it being connected to a cult that tries to raise child soldiers. The children who are selected have to go through hell, but all the other kids can grow up with normal lives. Kokichi situation seems to be the opposite he grew up in pretty much an abusive orphanage. He even States in (I think it's) chapter 2 that he and Kaito come from "completely different backgrounds" hinting at this fact that he grew up in a place where lying in deceit were totally necessary for him to survive.

Plus there are multiple times throughout the main game and the project development plan where he calls out people for their lies, especially known liars like Celestia and Monica, and those two have an act for lying but people tend to believe them way more

And regardless if you guys agree with me or not one thing I can definitely say with confidence is that he's nothing like Lila. she is the worst when it comes to lying I mean her lies could easily be proven but everyone's hit with the idiot stick (damn it miraculous)

And personally I actually like how he was written. A person who was constantly lying and didn't trust people but was willing to do everything in his power to stop the killing game even though he didn't trust any of them except for one boy his beloved Shumai

But just like kaito his way of thinking is just as dangerous he doubts others without giving any room to believe in them that itself is a lie as well

It's through him and Kaito constantly fighting over whose influence will affect Shuichi more, that makes Shuichi such an amazing balance between belief and doubt as he will forever be the gray area between these two boys way of thinking

Personally I see him being more gay solely because the way he 'flirts' with the girls seems more like teasing. Plus he's always connected to Shuichi in some way: whether it be their color scheme, they're lying and truthful nature the way the group believes in doubts in them and even the fact of their rules of the game one being the protagonist and the other being the rival. This connection kind of goes into the other boys too, with Kaito and his rivalry, his teasing of Kibō, his little sibling like relationship with Rantaro, and his friendship was Gonta definitely leads more towards males than anything

Definitely a cool interesting character who in my eyes was really well rounded when it comes to his characterization very confusing at times really helpful and the way he went out was really heartbreaking

He also has his own little group (the anti-training trio) of him, Gonta, and Miu, but that's topic for another day

It's his manipulation, cold hard tactics, calculating mind, and unique sense in lying that make him such a uniquely terrifying character. He and Miu are on the same level of smart especially considering they're both rivals but the problem with Miu is that she's not on the same level when it comes to being helpful in the Main character (Kaede) growth. Only kokichi could provide character growth for all Three Protagonists.

Gonta Gokuhara

My baby

A unique dynamic with Gonta is the fact that he wants to be a gentleman but doesn't seem to have the patience to understand why people don't like bugs

One of the few characters who actually says their name in third person and it's totally adorable others being (Tenko, Angie & Ibuki)

The definition of a character that you want to protect but could probably break your back

I like his relationship with Kokichi and Shuichi, it shows how opinions can be swayed regardless of the truth or lies

Definitely a very gullible person, can't say much about sexuality but he does care about his friends in a very platonic way

What's funny is the fact that he calls himself a gentleman and yet he throws one of his own classmates at a water tank (keep trying but you're still legs away from being a gentleman buddy

Definitely love the dynamic between him and Ryoma. A big guy who looks intimidating but is really nice, and a small guy you can underestimate but whoops he's terrifying especially with his voice.

Definitely a very cruel chapter 4 but I like how they handle his character

They claim he's dumb but he also has his moments of being incredibly smart

It makes me kind of wonder what would have happened if he survived chapter 4 but his Avatar was the one to have taken the punishment

Ryoma Hoshi

He so cool

Let's jump right into it a tennis pro that's also that height is quite impressive

His backstory is actually way more tragic than you realize a man who tried to teach some Mafia thugs a lesson when it comes to rigged matches and how tennis should be used for gambling like that only to them lose everything his family his lover and then his life so messed up

It actually makes a suicidal actions and the game all the more understandable and puts it to perspective

It makes you kind of wonder what would have happened if he did kill himself in the very first game or was used as a sacrifice

The interesting part about him is the fact that he is practically the exact opposite of Kirumi. A man who's accepted his crime and didn't run away from it, but who also cared about everyone with this whole heart. Vs a woman who wouldn't accept her crime to The bitter end and claimed to do it for the right reason but ultimately ended up suffering a horrible fate

There's a lot of evidence in the game pointing to him being AroAce which I can accept especially about the asexual part but when it comes to being Aromantic, it's just hard for me to see when it comes to relationship with Shuichi

Definitely a very intimidating character has some very creepy sprites but that just adds on to his overall uniqueness

And while his time was short lived he also kind of similar to Fuyuhiko in a sense where he gives the main character advice to not throw away their lives or throw away the love that's right in front of them cuz he already did that and regrets it

A character that definitely has more to explore and deserve more

Korekiyo Shinguji (Kiyo)

Boy needs help

Oh boy where do I even begin with this one

Starters being an anthropologist. That's a rare and very unorthodox talent (it gives anyone the opportunity to just use that as an excuse to stare at people)

Combine that with a sister complex, and his relationship with both Shuichi and Rantaro we got ourselves one creepy ass character if you ask me

First let's start off with a more obvious relationship Shuichi, first there's the fact that at the end of his free time event he asked you to travel the country with him which ties him back to Randall in a unique way if I'm being honest

Even though Shuichi doesn't know he's a killer by that point, the fact that he asked him to become his disciple shows that he definitely has a lot of respect for Shuichi

Could have been all fine and cute if it wasn't for the fact that he then later on said that he could be a good friend for his sister. (Mind you buy this point he had never wanted a male to be his sister's friend to begin with so) the fact that he thinks he's a good friend for his sister scares the crap out of me (considering well anybody who knows kio knows what he does to his sisters potential candidates for friends)

Plus let's not forget his love hotel scene where he tied Shuichi up. Do I even need to go into more detail as to why this boy needs to stay as far away from people as possible

Even though I want to say he's Pan he definitely screams more like he leans towards men in my opinion, plus he seems to be into intelligent people or people who have siblings

I mean we get a lot of evidence for that and his second relationship Rantaro oh God don't even give me started with this

Mind you even though those two didn't get a lot of time to talk to another in the cannon game thanks to the other non-canon version of the game we know for a fact that those two would have made good friends considering the relationships with their sisters

Ranchero being the oldest of his family and kio being the youngest of his they both will do anything they can for their sisters so that's pretty cute

But then you have to remind yourself that Kiyo was a killer of female so that way he can give them as friends to his sister so for that I say Rantaro keep your little sisters as far away from this crazy maniac as possible

Yet despite that I honestly think those two would be the most dangerous together, If either of them decide to go yandere. Considering the fact that they'll do anything for their little siblings, combined with Rantaro calling Shuichi his little brother and Kiyo having a close relationship with Shuichi (saying that he would make a good friend for sister AKA a good friend for him) If these two ever teamed up together Shuichi would be in a lot of trouble as they would totally kidnap and brainwash him to become their next little sibling (since their siblings are technically dead)

But hey I can't conclude this section of Kiyo without talking about his insane sister and explaining why I believe it's her fault he turned out this way

There's a lot of things I don't want to get into when it comes to that girl but I'll just leave it at this considering the fact that his topa acted very clingy possessive and controlling during the third chapter, and he seemed absolutely scared to disobey her combined with the fact that he was just yelling at Shuichi to apologize to him even though he knew that he was right shows just how manipulative and awful she is to him

Plus the fact that he's the younger sibling of the two making the incestuous relationship probably something he didn't understand until it was too late. You can't exactly blame him for being so clingy towards his sister, she's probably manipulated and rape the poor kid, then kept him from their parents. Plus he had nobody else but her to look up to you could see how bad that turned out

There's a lot of things about Kiyo's relationship with his sister that I'm too Disturbed to talk about, so if you want to know more information go to Weebz news channel, her analysis on Kiyo I'll give you some context and a bit more light into what the heck I'm talking about

All I can say is this boy needs emotional therapy

[tempestgnostic]

aight i’ve got what should be a lukewarm, normal take, but probably isn’t, especially because this is the No Nuance Webbed Site.

cw: discussion of suicide, child and animal sexual abuse, capital punishment

i’m not kidding. this is a heavy one. this is your warning.

let’s get this out of the way: there is no ethical way for adults to engage in sexual acts with children, or for humans to engage in sexual acts with nonhuman animals. nothing i say here will contradict these facts. everything i say is in the interest of preventing abuse as much as possible. i’m firmly against the death penalty. i strongly hold the belief that in order to take a life, you ought to have a damn good reason for it—like killing in a legitimate case of self-defense, or in defense of others in a situation where that’s likely the only thing that will stop what’s happening. i don’t believe the state should have the power to execute someone who is utterly defenseless.

see, i highly value life, and i also believe that every single person has the ability to change and find a place in this world. every. single. person. remove their ability to continue enacting violence, exploiting people, etc. and offer them chances to make up for the harm they’ve caused, encourage to become better, and you empower them to do just that, should they choose to take that chance. (some won’t, and i know this.) long-lasting personal change requires three things: sustained internal motivation, external encouragement, and opportunites to grow and learn. without all three, change will be transient and hollow, or perhaps never happen at all.

i understand the anger behind a lot of the things people say about folks who have abused children and animals. i’m not going to roll out my laundry list of relevant trauma to justify having experience-informed positions. i’m also going to say, point-blank, that how we treat people—systemically and interpersonally—should not be based in anger and a desire for vengeance. what we need to do is figure out what circumstances lead to someone committing these acts, and minimize those circumstances as much as possible, in the interest of reducing the chance of harm to potential victims, but also to make sure that those who would commit these acts have a voice in understanding these attractions and the shame surrounding them, as well as how they can address and engage with them in morally-neutral, responsible ways which, critically, must cause harm to no one.

shame, guilt, social isolation, having no one to discuss these kinds of attractions with: these are the very kind of factors that can lead someone towards causing real harm, when there is no safe outlet to address a) what their internal experience is like, b) why there is no ethical way to act on these attractions with actual minors and animals, and c) what they can do as an alternative. shame and silence lead to more victims—this is a proven fact.

a brief note about so-called “pro-contact” communities: these are often a landing pad for people who have been pushed out of other social spaces, to the point where the only people who will welcome and encourage them are those who not only share their attractions, but also believe that there are, in fact, ethical ways to engage sexually with children as an adult, or nonhuman animals in general. (let me repeat: there is no ethical way to do these things. none. children cannot consent to sex with adults. animals cannot consent to sex with humans.) they have justifications aplenty for these views, and are fully prepared to foist them upon newcomers to those spaces. radicalization is easier than you think, and we should be supporting any measures that can prevent this from happening. it doesn’t matter what you think of any of these people personally—what matters is deradicalizing people and creating spaces where having these attractions but not acting upon them with actual children/animals is considered morally neutral. those who have caused harm should be able to use these spaces to recognize the harm they’ve done, work through the shame, and ultimately come out of it with the full intention of not doing so again. ideally, some of these people will go forth to help their community in some way: for example, by organizing and/or moderating spaces like these, and helping to deradicalize others.

now, as for why i brought up my feelings on the invaluable nature of life: there are people with these attractions, both those who have acted upon them in harmful ways, and those who haven’t, who have committed suicide. often, this is due to immense shame from within and without, forced social isolation after their attraction is discovered by others, so on and so forth. and, as someone who values life, i will never celebrate this. as someone who believes change is possible, they have permanently lost the ability to do so. whether or not they would change depends on the factors above, but i believe the opportunity should be present and encouraged.

i’m a firm believer in restorative justice, which i will admit is an incredibly difficult stance to truly defend. when i think about the abuse i’ve been through, and what many of my closest friends have been through, my immediate thought is to start making a list and plan a road trip that would almost certainly end with me getting arrested. “i want that fucker dead” isn’t an uncommon phrase for me. but then i step back, and i remember that in the world i’m trying to build (in whatever small ways i can) we reduce the number of victims tenfold by addressing what causes people to commit these acts of abuse in the first place. that’s because i absolutely stand with victims, both human and nonhuman, and i also stand firm in the belief that preventing people from committing abuse in the first place, or preventing further abuse, is not just a necessary act in practical terms, but a moral act for the good of all.

if you’ve read this far, or even just skimmed this short essay that got out of hand, i hope that i’ve given you something to think about. if, however, you’d rather completely misinterpret my position as “defending” child and animal abuse, i encourage you to save your breath and go back to your regularly scheduled tumblr dashboard, instead of twisting my words in the comments.

[trenchgardens-ooc-ooc-ooc-ooc]

So i have a hard time viewing humans as seperate from animals or even programs, myself included. Theres never been any divine spark of humanity that sets us apart that ive ever been able to see, and all that. we're just advanced in program terms, and heavily adapted in evolutionary terms. Once I heard that line of thought that 'if you could rewind time and play back the universe from the start, no matter how many times you played it, everything would be the same,' it was over for any concept of inherent guilt or evil for me, no matter how slow its death.

Detheo Ordeor does not have empathy. That's not to say he holds any ill will towards others of his species, he just doesn't feel it. He isn't stupid either. The trope of psychopath and sociopath to a slightly lesser extent is a caricature so intense that it feels wrong almost to the point of revulsion to seriously apply it to someone, thats why the medical field doesn't use it officially anymore. The social zietgeist latched on to this concept of a person who they heard 'does not feel empathy' and interpolated as someone who is inherently wrong, mean, base, evil. It gives an impregnable moral highground, to Other someone. No matter how bad you are, there is someone worse. Once you have the concept of a Bad Person and a Good Person, well... Its a way to protect the mind from the pain that comes with becoming better. The growing pains. It is a stunting method, and it enables-- encourages-- great cruelty.

Detheo Ordeor is a conservationist. He treats every minute animal in his care with exactly that, care. He grew up in a world that would at the drop of a hat let him do any kind of evil thing as long as it was hidden just out of sight through a guise of beneficence. That guise however was enough to steer him in the right direction. He took it to heart, he had yet learned the concept of false pretenses, so he took their word at face value. the idea that any living thing should be preserved, that loss of information was a vast error, that the small are beautiful, and that every species deserves dignity, all took root in him before he had the time to realize the truth of the ulterior motive, and when he learned of that truth, he was disgusted.

Detheo struggles with obsession. In his younger years he had romantic crushes who we would recognize as 'favorite persons.' By the time he was working for the empire's internal security division, his tendency towards obsessions was long since a beast he learned to divert, redirect, control, and harness.

Detheo has amazing self control. Formed like a callous. Chafing, Chafing, Chafing. Learned through trial and error and error and error.

By the time he was an adult he was in near total control.

And then he saw a small grub.

Perpep is psychic. She is a strong psychic, and suddenly the jabbing of his self against his calloused hands jabbed at a soft spot. A tender spot of so so thin skin it had never touched before.

Without the automation of instinct, Detheo learned the world like a learning neural network. He was not guided by preprogrammed functions, he guided himself. Because of this he understood so much more than his peers. He had to, he didnt have the luxury of that social instinct. He moves with grace but he is not graceful. He moves with grace because he is in his element. Detheo is clumsy, inarticulate, rehearsed. This line was not in the script. He was not supposed to feel this- intrusive outflowing of feeling. Like walking into a room and experiencing smell for the first time. And your first ever smell is perfume or decay or an onion, cut, held under the nose.

This uniquely limeblood sect of psionics functions as empathy bypassing body language bypassing mirror neurons bypassing empathy. What Detheo didn't have. An onion is a powerful smell, but you have smelled strong smells before, you know how to deal with them. You know how to avoid sensation, you know how to hold your breath. Swimming in ice cold water is easier when you know how to swim.

[ultimatecutenesspeaks]

Meeting Bunny - UC and UB's Point of View

When UC first met Bunny, they liked them instantly.

They didn't know anyone from the 79th class, so that was already really cool. They found most of the students from that class to be intimidating. But when Bunny approached them, that melted away immediately. They were also the only person outside their class to not only take notice of UB's bullying, but to make an effort to protect UC from it.

When they went to the hospital to visit UB, they started to get along even more. Given UC's involvement with demons, it was interesting knowing someone who also had an affinity for the supernatural. During their time together, UC began to admire them.

But things went wrong fast, and soon, their new friend got taken away by ghosts. UC was protected thanks to their personal demon, but the situation was horrifying nonetheless. Despite their anxiety, they, along with UB, stayed in the hospital to explore with Bunny.

As time went on, UC's admiration for Bunny grew into a fondness, and they started to see them as a big sibling. To them, Bunny was smart, strong, anything you could want in a big sibling. UC knew they were safe as long as Bunny was around.

And even though they tend to act like a child, UC knows when to be serious and mature. They are just as protective of Bunny as they are of them, and they aren't above taking serious harm for them. Thankfully, this hasn't been necessary so far.

Even though they refrained from talking about their internal struggles at first, wanting to remain positive and optimistic, Bunny is one of the few people they trust enough to be vulnerable with, and is one of the few people who has seen them at their worst. They couldn't be more grateful to Bunny for staying with them instead of running away.

When Bunny requested to summon their Demon Familiar, UC was excited to share their knowledge with them. Even though it was likely that they would get put in danger, UC and Mr. Bunny taught them everything they needed to know to stay safe.

In the end, Bunny is one of UC's favorite people of all time. UC doesn't feel lonely anymore, and their mental health has also improved through their time together. Bunny is the "bravest, bestest big sibling" they could ask for.

----------------------------------------------------------

When UB first met Bunny, they thought they were annoying.

But then, they thought everyone was annoying.

They weren't a fan of having their rival and their new friend in their hospital room, and they definitely had a few complaints.

But they knew it was time to be mature when the spirits of Heavenly Hospital appeared, and despite their objections, they stayed to explore the hospital per Bunny's request.

They found themselves impressed by Bunny's talent, even though they wouldn't admit it. At the end of the adventure, UB decided that Bunny was a friend. But they were careful not to get too close.

For a fair amount of their time at Hope's Peak, UB sort of third-wheeled UC and Bunny, due to the two of them having a closer bond. Thanks to UB's quiet nature, they tend to go unnoticed. But they don't mind.

They and Bunny also tend to have more disagreements then UC and Bunny, and unlike UC, UB is usually the first one to question Bunny's decisions. But it always ends with the two of them understanding each other and growing even closer.

After learning how poorly they were treated by their parents, Bunny used their supernatural abilities to get rid of them. Although it was unexpected, UB knew for sure that they were safe with Bunny. And after learning about their past, Bunny saw that there was more to UB than the way they presented themself.

And during their journey to Hell, their bond only grew even more. Even though UB started to feel left out, their teamwork was anything but lacking.

In the end, UB can safely say that Bunny is the best sibling figure they've had since their brother. With them around, the pain from the loss of their brother is much more bearable. And being with them allowed the relationship between UC and UB to improve as well.

[exuberantocean]

I know it's been a while, but the post has come back to me and I don't think I addressed this properly the first time around. Some please forgive me, @kutputli

My mother has, in all likelihood, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). A lot of her behaviors where bewildering and confusing and scary growing up. And I saw a lot of her behavior patterns in Nathan Shelley.

BPD and people who suffer from it are often demonized. It's considered one of those "bad" mental health conditions. People often assume people with BPD are abusers, as if it comes with the label. And that they are completely illogical in their anger.

Friends, BPD is extremely related to trauma, especially (but not solely) early trauma.

From early attachment experiences, subjects gain important information about their identity and abilities to regulate inner experiences and behavioral strategies for maintaining proximity to others. Aggression or neglect from caregivers may be experiences contributing to compromise a realistic and balanced view of self and others. So, an insecure model of attachment with caregivers is internalized and could be at the origin of the expectancies for future relationships characterized by abuse or rejection. BPD occurs in a precocious context of intolerance toward the manifestations of private emotions during childhood. So, children exposed to these unfavorable conditions are unable to recognize, regulate, and tolerate emotional responses and they fluctuate between extreme emotional lability and emotional inhibition. In 30% up to 90% of cases BPD is associated with abuse and neglect in childhood....

X

I think it's important that recognize people with BPD have, in all likelihood, suffered great deal of trauma and abuse at an early age. The character of Nathan has also suffered a great deal of trauma and abuse from an early age, both from his own father, but also from the team culture and, as @kutputli rightly pointed out, at least some of it is race based, some of it class based, even if the show itself seems to want to turn a blind eye to that. Just as it downplayed Ted's unintentional microaggressions*.

One of the things that helped me understand my mother better, via working with a therapist, is how sometimes my mother is not reacting emotionally to what is currently happening in her life, but rather what has happened in her life at a time and point that she was powerless. All those feelings don't disappear and you aren't safe enough to work through them at the time. For my mom, and for many with BPD, those feelings are still their and can get triggered. Maybe the situation is completely different, the people are completely different but the right word, the right action and it all comes flooding back, all those feelings.

I think, to my mind, it makes perfect sense that the ongoing abuse and injustice that Nathan experienced both with the team and with his own father would be the cause of Nathan's BPD. Nathan's anger comes from years of not being able to defend himself and not being able to find safety or acceptance.

I do not see Nathan as having BPD so he's just crazy lol. I see Nathan's BPD as an additional clear sign of the abuse that he has endured for a long time, which is often not treated properly by the show itself.

I do think that the show failed in some aspects. This post was made originally before s3 aired and one of the biggest letdowns I had was how poorly s3 handled abuse, particularly how poorly it handled Nathan's storyline**. IT failed to:

Show use Nathan learning how to stand up for himself via not showing us the scene where he stands up to Rupert.

Have proper acknowledgement and address the abuse that Nathan suffered via the team (including the microaggressions after things got "better."

Papered over the entire situation with Nathan's father

But, in short, the way I interpret things is that Nathan having BPD is a result of the kind of abuse rightfully pointed out. The show did poor job of showing that (if that was even the attempt) which is very much part of my list of reasons why they needed a therapist in the writers' room.

*I think Ted's unintentional microaggressions should have been explored more. It's possibly to be an ally, or strive to be an ally, and still fuck up and do harm. I don't think that makes you a bad person, but the responsibility still lies on you, the ally, to do better.

**Jamie Tartt is not my favorite character by far, but I had a fit over how they ended things with his father as well.

Nathan Shelley and Borderline Personality Disorder

We spend a lot of time on Ted Lasso talking about Ted’s mental health issues, and for good reason.  It’s a central arc to the show.  I’ve also seen a number of interesting discussions on Rebecca, Jamie, and Roy’s mental health issues, which are also important conversations to have and I hope they continue.

What I have seen very little of, is discussion of Nathan Shelley’s mental health issues.  Which clearly he has.  More specifically, I think he has a lot of symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder, or BPD for short.

What is BPD?

People with borderline personality disorder may experience intense mood swings and feel uncertainty about how they see themselves. Their feelings for others can change quickly, and swing from extreme closeness to extreme dislike. These changing feelings can lead to unstable relationships and emotional pain.  

X

I think it’s worth discussing Nathan’s behavior outside of the matrix of whether it’s “good” or “evil” for a minute and instead, whether it’s a sign of a serious mental illness.  One that should be treated with compassion because he’s suffering.

People with BPD have a number of symptoms that Nate displays throughout the series.  For example, when you consider that people with BPD have unstable self image, Nate’s tendency to obsessively search for himself in twitter makes sense: he’s looking to an external source to tell him who/what he is (and oh boy, Nate, that’s like the worst source).

People with BPD also experience (keep in mind not everyone will experience all of these or at the same degree):

An intense fear of abandonment, even going to extreme measures to avoid real or imagined separation or rejection – His relationship with Ted

A pattern of unstable intense relationships, such as idealizing someone one moment and then suddenly believing the person doesn’t care enough or is cruel – His relationship with Ted and the others

Rapid changes in self-identity and self-image that include shifting goals and values, and seeing yourself as bad or as if you don’t exist at all – I think we see this thought s1-3

Periods of stress-related paranoia and loss of contact with reality, lasting from a few minutes to a few hours –somewhat in how he seemed to think Roy would replace him/his talk about Ted taking the credit/blaming him

Impulsive and risky behavior, such as gambling, reckless driving, unsafe sex, spending sprees, binge eating or drug abuse, or sabotaging success by suddenly quitting a good job or ending a positive relationship – Kissing Keeley? 

Wide mood swings lasting from a few hours to a few days, which can include intense happiness, irritability, shame or anxiety – I think we get this to a degree

Ongoing feelings of emptiness – I’d argue he has this but it’s admittedly hard to be certain unless Nate confesses to feeling this way

Inappropriate, intense anger, such as frequently losing your temper, being sarcastic or bitter, or having physical fights –YES.  Nate does have some inappropriate, intense anger, directed at others: Will, Colin, and Ted.

Like all mental illnesses, BPD can be caused by multiple factors but trauma and abuse during childhood is frequently a factor.  We know that Nate has an abusive father, a mother who treats him like a child even though he’s in his 30s, and he’s experienced years of abuse at Richmond.

While it is important to acknowledge that he’s hurt people and should be accountable to that, it should also be acknowledged that he too is suffering from mental illness and deserves treatment and compassion for it.

It’s also worth noting that while we are, as a society, getting better at how we think and talk about mental illness, some mental illnesses like BPD, schizophrenia and others, are still far too stigmatized, making it harder to get help and harder to be treated with compassion. 

It’s also worth discussing the intersectionality of mental illness and people of color.  I do understand that one factor that makes it easier to be compassionate to Ted then Nate is because we see Ted striving to help people, but I can’t help but think that another to factor is because Ted’s a white man with the “right” kind of mental illness.