#just the regular bs that happens to me sometimes :)

[creature-feature-creature]

Please rate vegandragora from dragon quest monsters 3 🥺👉👈

VEGANDRAGORA FROM DRAGON QUEST

from @spoofsies

Design; 10/10 - it's stub legs. The :3 face. The googly eyes. The flower aspects. You may have just graced me with the perfect creature. Like holy shit I do not have the words to encompass how much I love this being. I can only thank you for showing it to me.

Purpose/Effectiveness; ?/10 - unfortunately I don't know much about dragon quest, and I couldn't find much about this guy. I'm just going to assume he does his job perfectly well because nothing that perfect could ever do wrong.

Overall; 10/10 - your honor look at him

[mayapapaya33]

I could write a 10 page essay on my thoughts and feelings about "A Bard's Lament" and about Scanlan. How I think a lot of people misinterpret what actually happened IMHO. It feels to me like a lot of people treat that scene like Scanlan is finally telling VM off for being bad friends and kind of cheer him on rather than realizing that he's having a mental health crisis having reached his breaking point and is lashing out.

Establishing some Game mechanics first and foremost, Sam consistently rolled 30+ deception checks anytime one of the others asked him how he was doing or tried to find out if he was having any problems. He is THE great deceiver. He lied to all of them, about everything. He never shared his worries or fears, or his drug problem. Nothing. Anytime they tried to connect with him, he shot them down, deflected masterfully. The other characters LITERALLY had no idea he was having any problems, if the players did anything about his problems after rolls like that it would have been metagaming. It's not that VM didn't care, they didn't know!

Which is frankly how he operated the whole campaign. From day one, anytime any of them asked him a personal question, he make a joke. Of course, Scanlan was a joke character in the beginning of the campaign, but from a character pov, the character treated everything as a joke. He cared about his friends, and they cared about him, they would die for him and vice versa, but he didn't have any heart to hearts with anyone. Slowly over the course of the campaign, everyone else opened up to each other, (or sometimes the narrative forced them to open up cough cough Percy cough cough) and he remained closed off, using humor to deflect any deeper connections. And the way the story went, he was never forced to share.

By the time "A Bards Lament" takes place, he's in a very bad place emotionally and is sad and scared and angry, and he says things to hurt people, not things that are true. (ok maybe some of it was true, but even the true bits were weaponized and honed to be the worst possible interpretations of events in order to hurt, not actually to BE truth. Vax and Keyleth definitely deserved a tuning up after their bs with the dragons. Personally, I'm very proud of Percy for not punching Scanlan for the comments about coming back to Whitestone just so he could be "proud of his name" or whatever, I've never heard such utter bullshit. Then some people are like, hey, why's Percy so mad at Scanlan, huh I fucking wonder? lmfao).

I relate to him in that I also use humor to deflect people and I sometimes wish that people would see what I feel and think; see through me, without me having to tell them. But that is unfair! I'm lying to them! That's on me! Which Is why I want to choke Scanlan out so often probably lmfao, because I understand where he's coming from and can see the mistakes he's making, and I just want to shake him.

I think a lot of people relate to Scanlan but perhaps... how shall I put this delicately... do not have the same level of self-awareness about the self-destructiveness of this particular approach to life and relationships and so feel a catharsis when he blows up at his friends because they also want to yell at their friends for not noticing their pain. Even though they are the ones who have hidden their pain with such skill that it really isn't their friend's fault they're clueless in the first place.

All that said, Vox Machina aren't perfect. They definitely could be better friends, they made mistakes. I just want to talk about the part of this that I don't often see discussed; Scanlan's depression and mental health struggles and their impact on his friendships and his responsibility.

Some people also act like VM bully "poor helpless Scanlan" (TLOVM sort of also acts like this sometimes which is annoying but oh well). When the reality is that Scanlan is a sharp tonged wit that verbally eviscerates his companions on a regular basis and so they treat him how he treats them. It's all banter... right up until it isn't and he's feeling sad and hurt and worthless and suddenly words hurt. But instead of opening his mouth and TELLING ANYONE how he feels, he just lets it build and build until he explodes.

I'm really worried about how TLOVM is going to handle it going forward, because so far they haven't really set up the group trying to connect with Scanlan and that's a mistake. They have a little, but they should do more. The scene with Pike was good, him instantly reverting to clownish behavior the second it got too sincere then him being frustrated with himself. But they really need to do some of that with the others as well and I'm worried they won't have time or won't think it's necessary.

It's HIS responsibility to reach out to others about his declining mental health. He is the one who set the rules of engagement as "Everything is a joke, especially serious things, I am allergic to sincerity" The others follow his lead. There's only so many times you can reach out to someone earnestly and receive a joke back for your troubles before you eventually respect the unspoken desire not to share and stop asking.

A lot of people cite the prank as some monstrous thing that VM did that proves that they don't love or respect Scanlan. Whereas actually, Sam Riegel admitted that at another moment in time, Scanlan would have found it funny. Pike knows that about him, which is why she did it. (Ashley of course, did it to send Scanlan over the edge because she's evil like that and they all adore drama lol). He was just in a terrible place mentally, so it felt like an insult instead of friendship. (idk where he said it, please don't ask, do you have any idea how many HUNDREDS of HOURS of CR I have watched?! It was probably talks machina).

Also, way back in the early episodes of C1 that lots of people skip, I forget which episode it is, but it was when they were under Kraghammer, Grog got his brain scooped out by the mind flayer or that brain creature or something (I'm a little fuzzy on the details). Anyway, they were all very frightened for Grog and they weren't sure they could save him. Once they figured out they could, Scanlan wanted to set up a prank for Grog to wake up to once they healed him (he was brain dead, in a coma or something). Point being Scanlan's a massive hypocrite lol. (which Sam fully admits).

-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-

Now here's my VERY controversial opinion, don't hate me lol, I never actually liked the "what's my mother's name?" thing. It felt very meta gamey, like Sam looked up Percy's parent's names before the session as a gotcha! Not really like Scanlan actually knew their names. So it never hit me the way it was supposed to. But that's just personal taste. It also circles back to my previous points of YOU NEVER OPENED UP TO THEM SCANLAN, OF COURSE THEY DON'T KNOW YOUR MOTHER'S NAME! THAT'S YOUR FAULT!!!! MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'T TURN EVERYTHING INTO A JOKE, THEY'D KNOW HER NAME!!!!

[peachie-kyng]

Dreamland

How I have a dream about Jaehyun going to the military?

He wasn’t idol Jaehyun. He was just regular Jaehyun who worked and hung out with us. Mind you, I don’t have a job right now. So anyway!!! It felt like he was one of my Best Friends. Cause it seems like my brain was trying to go down memory lane with all the shenanigans me and him been through. I just can’t fully remember it.

Me and my friends was there to see him off. It happened kind of quick but everyone was some form of sad to see him go. Of course he said his goodbyes and see you later. I remember getting a hug from him and him sending me a text to thank one of our friends for something. Which I did, but when I went to text him back about it his number was gone. Like he couldn’t have any contact with us while he’s in the military. I can’t really remember anymore interactions with him.

I just remember one of my friends asking in a group chat how is everyone doing? And I my reply to that was that it’s bittersweet that Jaehyun had to go to military, but it was his choice and I’m sure he’ll come back fine and healthy. After that my brain was like ‘Oh when he comes back he’s getting the biggest hug EVER from me. I don’t care if his parents are there they just gonna have to wait’. Cause clearly it was going to be boring and lonely without him for the next two years.

That’s It!

Ughhhh! It really is bittersweet that’s he’s going into the military right now. But I’m not mad at it. I get the feeling that he’s not only doing to get it out of the way but he’s doing to take a break from everything that’s happening. From taeil’s bs to another one of his dramas getting put on hold and all of SM’s bs. It’s like he did it just get away from it all at the moment.

I can’t help think about what he said while he was on Youngji show. About how he had talk with his dad about not being happy with what he was doing. And his father told him that if he wasn’t happy to just quit and do something else. First things first! I think it’s adorable how close he is to his father and how his father supports him so much. But secondly! It’s like he literally told us that he wasn’t happy and was thinking about leaving. Though, instead of just out right leaving (cause don’t give us Aquarius a legit reason to leave, we will be on the first plane flying out) he chose to do his military service first. Put everything on pause, take some time for himself, and probably find his love for his career again.

I don’t know, these are just my thoughts and opinions. Cause I don’t really know him, and I don’t really know what’s he’s feeling and what his life is like. Just as a fellow Aquarius, I know it may seem like we be doing shit just to do it sometimes. But let me tell you, most of the time it for a reason… So! I hope when he goes he has a new experience, and learn somethings. And comes back with a growth to him, and a fresh mind.

I clearly needed to share my thoughts on this. Let me make sure it’s legit shared… @agravemisstake @futuristiclovezone95

[epicwafflepie]

I'm in a mental better state to start talking about this so I will. My post about RAMCOA was posted on Systemscringe and I am being fakeclaimed to hell and back. And this person is pissing me off and proving my point about people thinking RAMCOA is some satanic panic bs. Also they're just lying about what I said and putting words in my mouth. TW for RAMCOA talk and mentions of CSA and horrific child abuse in general under the cut.

RAMCOA stands for Ritual Abuse, Mind Control, and Organized Abuse. The ritual abuse gets mistaken for satanic cult stuff constantly when in reality it's abusing someone in the same exact way on certain days and times. Like "we do this on this day/everyday, at this time, the same exact way everytime". That is what Ritual Abuse is. It can include elements of cult stuff (most commonly cults that use Christianity like certain churches) but it's not really cult stuff. And I am NOT a victim of that, I don't see what I went through as that. I'm a victim of Mind Control and Organized Abuse.

For the Mind Control it's the process of TBMC (Trauma Based Mind Control) where you INTENTIONALLY traumatize a child enough to make them dissociate and develop a dissociative disorder. It's not the sci-fi fantasy stuff that you guys see on TV.

And for the Organized Abuse it's just two or more perpetrators working together to abuse one or more people. An example of that would be a trafficking ring and CSEM (I am a victim of both).

These are very real things. And I never said I was abused by a super secret SATANIC cult. Y'all just assumed that because that's what YOU think it is. I was abused by an organization/trafficking ring of some kind that trafficked children and produced CSEM and snuff like films. I was regularly taken to a building to be drugged through injections that would make me dissociate and tortured in horrific ways and sometimes it was recorded. And other than this organization my aunt also trafficked me to friends of hers and people she knew that wasn't even connected to the org. One of them recorded his instance with me where he almost took my life and ran off with the material. And my aunt proceeded to severely beat me afterwards for being "too loud". I almost died that night and still get horrific flashbacks to it.

Also someone in the comments said if I want to claim to be a victim of this I should be able to list the organization. First of all, THAT IS DANGEROUS. There are organizations/cults that will hunt down their victims and harm them if they ever came out. Second of all, a lot of victims don't remember the organization's name. Which is me, I don't remember the name (if it even had one). It's not like my maternal aunt and grandfather sat me down and told me the names of the people, organization/ring, and what would happen. All I remember is them taking me to the building with NO WARNING that the abuse would take place in. And because of the intentional development of DID through torture I remember almost nothing about the building besides of two rooms. An all white room with concrete or tiled floor that was very cold along with a metal table with straps on them and a bedroom with a child's bed (it looked like a bunk bed of some kind). The abuse happened in both rooms. This is all I can remember about the building. I was only 4 to 8-11 years old when I was actively being abused by this org. And no it did not happen EVERYDAY but it happened on a regular basis (lets say a weekly basis for now because I really don't remember how often it happened).

What happened to me is not some conspiracy theory bs. It is real. I deal with flashbacks to these events everyday. And the people in the comments are just proving the points I made. Y'all know JACK FUCKING SHIT about RAMCOA. You prefer to believe what you hear on shit like Fox News. You prefer to believe the organizations that often use lies to cover themselves up. You guys often cite an organization (*cough* gray faction *cough*) that commits RAMCOA acts and spreads lies about the reality of RAMCOA. As if it's a valid source. RAMCOA isn't some antisemitic satanic panic conspiracy bs, it is real. And if you bothered to do basic research on it you would know that, but I guess your brains are too tiny for that.

Anyways if you want to read this and post me again and fakeclaim me, fine. But you'll be proving my points. And karma will bite all of you in the arse for spreading misinformation and basically protecting these abusers. Call me insane idfc anymore. My own psychiatrist and therapists believes me and even gave me resources and help for RAMCOA victims. Which proves that it's a real thing.

Also I never claimed my job making me carry boxes and my mom drinking was satanic abuse. I don't remember talking about my mom's alcoholism and I was just venting about my job. Because I have a physically demanding job that I'm struggling to keep because of my physical disabilities getting worse. Y'all are putting words in my mouth.

Also for ANYONE reading this, if you see that I'm posted on these subreddits DON'T BRING IT UP TO ME. I actively avoid them for a reason. This is the type of shit that makes me relapse and nearly harm myself. I was close to doing that this morning just from this post. I don't want to see this shit anymore so please leave me alone if you ever see that I'm posted on these subreddits. I already expect it but I don't like digging for it for this reason. Let me ignore these people please stop showing them to me.

[nights-at-crystarium]

Fragments - episodes 8-11 author notes

I tried keeping the ARR arc as short and snappy as possible, just get some technical art xp and set the table for the following chapters, still I ended up drawing 80+ pages (160+ full color pics) and writing three of these breakdown posts. If you missed the first two: episodes 1-3 and 4-7.

Starting with a note on the entire chapter: it’s called “found and lost” for, obviously, ViviRaha finding and losing each other, forming an X as they get a small taste of what they could’ve been as lovers, then drifting apart, but also Raha finding his purpose while losing his life, and Vivi losing the control over his life as his WoL career picks up. The next time we see him in the ShB arc, he’s lost, so fucking lost.

Now, the scene that predictably created the most confusion.

Possibly their first ever mind game that didn’t go well :’>

It’s easy to conclude that Vivi rejects Raha because he’s a virgin. An inelegantly lying virgin. While yes Vivi’s just being Vivi here, he doesn’t wanna deal with what looks like a mess of emotions in this cabboy, and he isn’t fond of the concept of lying (while not important here, this could be one of his few redeeming qualities). Had Raha been open and upfront, he would’ve acted differently. Maybe. He doesn’t know much about Raha at this point, but the awkwardness and insincerity are enough to discourage him, also he genuinely isn’t in the habit of ruining people’s first times. He may be a slut but he has a semblance of honor x’D So, in a way, he protects Raha from himself.

Sometimes kisses just happen. Without confessions or feelings. They just indulged in a moment and now? What now? Vivi doesn’t think too hard about it since it’s a regular occurence for him, Raha, being himself, spends every moment obsessing over this spark. His WoL, his WoL, his WoL, his WoL?

Ironically, this’s the last time we see them talk to each other.

They must’ve kept talking offscreen, but there’s no speech bubbles anymore until the very end of this chapter. Drifting further apart.

Raha realizes that Vivi's just fine without him. He's not WITH the WoL.

His colors naturally stand out, I cranked them even further up to make him feel out of place. Especially that teal eye, yeah.

*leans into the mic* it’s fucken wimdy

Just a visual parallel without much meaning. He has a portable edgy shadow with him at all times.

Another parallel C: Turns are tabling, Vivi may not be in love yet, but he’s definitely impressed by Raha’s singing, and realizing that there's more to him than just the gremlin he knows. This's his first ever encounter of the serious Raha.

His own expressions are vastly different when he's alone, not having to perform for anybody.

Something something facing the darkness and the light :> ..And away from each other. Yeah. Whoops.

A juxtaposition of their attitudes: a silly dreamer and a realist/doubter.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Alright, there must be more to this, eh?

Lack of communication and mutual insincerity/dishonesty. Vivi simply mirrors Raha.

Vivi's upset that this guy has basically chosen death over him. He's thrown off by the sudden change in Raha's demeanor, it shocks him into turning on his brain after a long while, alas it's too late.

The kbye could be expanded into "are you really throwing your life away? I was just beginning to get into you, thought it was mutual, where did that go? You’re choosing some destiny bs over the cool me? Screw you too then, here's something to hopefully make this uncalled-for moment unpleasant for you as well".

This's his inner monologue. He has to come up with something impactful on the spot, therefore he spits out the kbye. Well, considering the canon ShB events, if he was looking to make an impact, I daresay he succeeded :’D

Honestly I commend his ability to assess the situation and react/improvise within seconds, he did it in this scene and now again.

Of course this doesn’t automatically excuse his shitty behavior, as someone rightfully exclaimed, “Vivi how could you?!” - damned I be if this line isn’t Fragments in a nutshell x’D

I’ll always explain but never defend any of his actions.

MELTDOOOOOOOOWN \o/ He’s just so entertaining to watch when he’s agitated. I may hc him and Raha with british voices but Vivi’s body language turns him into a bit of an italian.

Raha’s being an asshole to Vivi? Debatable. To himself? Absolutely. Hence Vivi’s so upset. He rarely if ever raises his voice, this here’s one of the very few instances.

Earlier today, I posted a ficlet exploring Raha’s inner world after sealing the Tower and before putting himself to sleep. This event’s treated as suicide by everyone in Fragments.

Can’t believe the ARR arc’s over, and that it’s been half a year. I had some time to process the fact. Finally I can return to the “current” ViviRaha zone in my brain, that makes me so happy. ARR idiocy was fun to make but I live for the ShB idiocy. I’m gonna indulge SO HARD. Settle in for years of ShB fanservice. Here, have the chapter 2 cover wip :>

[swimmingclass1978]

About me (it pretty late but what ever) :

- so my name is Ariel / Ane 😃

-im a minor if i ever follow your page and you have some nsfw content then dw it was either an accident or i followed you bc of some regular looking post

-your honor im just a silly guy when it comes to the ghostface mask on women (or particualarly hot men)

-im so desperate for a girlfriend its not even funny

-loyal to one mutal and the other one is low key just there lol

- james/remus/barty kinnes im waiting please notice me

-this is basically a call for help lol

-a hellenic pagan but its new so let me be, no convering christians allowed

-Lady Hecate devotee❤️

-slytherin/ravenclaw but if i like you then im giving kinda griffindor energy? Tho i get tired easily and my social battery is lasting max of an hour, in the end of the day im a slytherin bro all the creepy shit i know is proving it

-I'm fine with any pronouns really but mostly he/she, they is also great but she has a special place in my heart even tho i hate it sometimes and he makes me want to scream and giggle

-so im a girl kisser and ace but i don't think i would date amab people. Its nothing personal just my preference but it also depends. (Idk why i put it here its kind of personal need for me to say)

-my favourite colour is green, but like deep green or like dead green not neon green and i also love deep red and black OH AND PURPLE BECAUSE I SAW A DORCAS FANART IN PURPLR AND OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

-im a yapper here but irl i don't talk much

-i love love LOVE true crime, canibalism and necrophilia like if you ever gonna ask me how bodies decompose and then listen to me yap im gonna marry you without questions,

-my natice language is polish but i also speak english tho its not as good as i wish it would be. Im also learning spanish (DO NOT ASK ME ANYTHING IN SPANISH ITS SHIT) and im learning latin on duolingo (i blame donna tartt)

-im obsessed with collecting little animal figures/plushies and giving them names????

-i love reading and all the crafty things like painting, drawing and diy and id love to learn book binding one day even if my printer doesn't agree with me (update: i've binded my own fic it went at least bad)

-im also a poet and a writer so i suffer from creativity more times then id like to but i unfortunatelly love it all too much 😔 i don't publish my poems bc i fear they are not very good but i wish to be a published book author one day

-if you are a hater or use any of these tags: anti <character/ship name> or pro <character/ship name> or you are a canon fanatic who can't stand people having fun then dni bcz i dont want any of your toxic bs on my blog or in my dms/asks thank you very much

- if you want to share you homo/transphobic bs then get out and never come back

-adhd

-im a sucker for good no voldy hogwarts jegulus aus tbh, amd anything that contains slytherin skittles or black brothers/sisters, i love them

-i'm an attention seeking whore when it comes to comments under my ao3 fics im not joking when i say this

-classic literature enthusiastist and Balladyna lover literalnie to moja zona wdym ze ona nie zyje? Zyje w moim sercu

Fandoms:

-marauders - ao3 hates to see me coming

-greek mythology

- percy jackson

-good omens, i love them but considering things that have been happening then i dont think we will be getting seson 3 anytime soon :((( (update: nail count your fucking days and pray i won't finf out where you live)

-the poppy war thrilogy (started reading age 9 and kinda reggret it but happily it didn't caused me as much of my mental health as i thought) (dont repeat my mistake tho) (i'm weird now)

- bsd but i cant remember all the names yet I know whats going on so its fine

-TPN in every daydreaming sesion i gotta do an au someone as the main 3 its an addiction to amgst at this point. Also im making a petition on recreating season 2 so it will follow the manga

-The secret history and dps my friends hate me in atumn because of those two

FAVE MUSIC ARTISTS/BANDS: Mitski, Radiohead, Gigi Perez, billie eilish, tv girl, i fear that a bit tyler the creator and chldlish gambino since its winter again (i only listen to him in winter???), the hazbin hotel soumdtrack....?, CZAPEL ROAWR 🗣🗣🗣🦅🦅🦅🦖🦖🦖

FAVE FILMS/BOOKS/BOOK SERIES': Dead Poets Society (book and the movie), 10 things i hate about you, Chłopi (movie and the book), song of the achilles, illiad, lapvona, seven hisbands of evelyn hugo, balladyna kochana moja, prolly more idk its late now,

Current body count: seven kids in my basement, three burried in my garden (i do not have a garden)

I can be very funny believe me 🙏🙏🙏

Im also a charlie kirk hater and a feminist

I do not know math but my esseys and creative writing works are amazing

Kins: Regulus; Sirius low key but its pretty minor (i wanna be him); Pandora; sometimes Barty?; dorcas AND marlene (i dunno how bro it just happened) (pick your favourite gay)

Im happily married to jegulus twilight au with reg as bella that got abandoned in february 2024 (UPDATE: one chapter was added a month ago we are so back) and to a demon james/human regulus au that is still ongoing but id let it tear me appart and i would apologise to the author( im talking about The Devil Tastes Devine by TheBiButterfly on ao3 (it has me in a chokehold tbh))

Ships: jeggy, wolfstar, dorlene, pandlily, marlily, emmary, rosekiller, bartylus, pancas, marylane, lilylane, any marauder lesbians, nobleflower, quillkiller, teddromeda, poppy x minnie (i forgot their ship name), evanreg, jarty, kinda rosekiller + lily, rosestarkillerchaser(any variant of them really), moonwater, percybeth(is that their ship name?), solangelo, (shin)soukoku, any legal lesbian ship thb, i also liked jily in the past but the toxic shippers ruined it for me :( i still love her tho thats my wifey

My ao3 fanfic:

there is a light, i feel it in me: COMPLETE, black brothers angst, jegulus, wolfstar +more, trauma healing, angst/fluff, everything pandora and barty are doing is great i do not make the rules

teaching myself how to die: WIP, jegulus twilight-fix-it-look-alike Au, disabled regulus, vampire james, black brothers angst, slytherin skittles, marauders, angst with happy ending, THE BLACK SISTERS ARE MOTHERING, they are witches fr fr.

Face reveal (bros gonna be blinded by the face card frfr):

Im also a proud owner of this justin biber ahh haircut I thought it was a wonderfull idea few months back and i do feel the best in my skin i've ever felt since my dysphoria went almost 2lvl down but no one want to talk to me at school now i think its not very nice of them tbh im a great person sometimes

Thats all lol have a good time or whatever

[thevirgodoll]

Hi Virgodoll! I gave a presentation today at work that I think I bombed it. Also, I noticed in the shoutout chart that no one gave me one, so I asked leadership if I could give myself a shoutout. They said yes, so I publicly gave myself one. It felt good to acknowledge myself when no one did.

No matter how much I practice, I just can’t seem to give presentations the way I see most professionals do. I end up smiling and kind making weird funny faces. It could come off as unserious, but I’m actually doing that to reduce my anxiety.

I’m a very articulate person, but I lose my train of thought and can’t seem to express myself when giving presentations via zoom. I mix up words, phrases, tenses, etc. it’s strange cause I’m a damn good writer! It also sucks cause I’m a Black woman and I don’t want people thinking idk what I’m talking about. I do good work, but struggle with presenting it via zoom.

I asked leadership what they thought of my presentation. They said I did very well. For some reason I feel like they are just being nice. I always feel like I’m talking gibberish whenever I’m giving presentations.

I worry about how I’m perceived at work and how everyone thinks I’m dumb and can’t speak properly. Arghhh!

Any words of encouragement, constructive criticism, and advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!

I agree, it's good to acknowledge yourself and give yourself your flowers when no one else does. Believe me, it will happen more often than you think in the academic and corporate world.

However, I think you are falling victim to upwards comparison. What good is it to look at other people at work speak when they aren't you? They're probably boring, to be honest. While you can manage your facial expressions by doing speeches in the mirror, who told you the way you exist is wrong?

When it comes to speeches and talking to people, I just treat it like a conversation and let one thought carry me to where I need to go. I appeal to the audience I am talking to and adjust based on small pieces of information I gathered from them during a lunch break or the original interview. If you focus more on the fact that they're regular people and YOU are the star of the moment, it's easier to focus. That sounds delusional, but let it be.

It's easy to say "stop worrying how others perceive you" and I think that's a load of BS to serve that to y'all. We always worry about how we are perceived. I say focus on that anxiety and worry. Ask yourself what they could possibly be noticing. Why? Because then you can hold yourself accountable and realize that such scrutiny is coming from yourself. You are building a narrative that only exists if you plant the seed and bear fruit (***with the exception of a hostile work environment. If this environment is not hostile, and I am assuming it is fine prayerfully...);

If they say you're doing fine, affirm yourself. If they say they didn't like it, still affirm yourself and know that you're already doing well by having the guts to even go up there in the first place. Some people can't even get through a basic conversation.

Why can't you accept you did well? Perfectionism? Upbringing? Have you journaled lately? All of the picking yourself apart that you just did would be best written down in a diary so you can see how hard you are on yourself.

Regarding compliments, it's tough in the professional world, especially if you are of color. Sometimes, people don't give props because they feel like your confidence emits so loud and bright that you already know you're doing well.

Just continue asking for feedback, but also, practice your speeches and fall in love with yourself. Look at yourself and ask yourself why you hate the quirks that make you you. The idiosyncrasies you possess is actually the foundation for a memorable moment and makes people want to listen to you more. That's what makes a connection, an authentic impression, and a lasting memory... not robotic AI. Trust me - I am a Virgo lol.

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

I'm seeing a lot of online creators I follow falling into increasingly toxic styles of Online Brainrot "Discourse" and its making me really sad. They're getting that flat-behind-the-eyes, closed-mouth-wide-smile look where you can SEE the empathy, kindness and connection to reality dying.

I want to comment and tell them I'm worried abt them but ik it comes off as condescending. at least one of them is a lot younger than me (19yo) and as someone who went through a version of this at that age, it breaks my heart. I know I may just have to unfollow and let them hit rock bottom on this themselves, but.... Christ! Fuck!!!!

and the worst part is that they all seem totally convinced that they've ESCAPED The Brainrot, that they're COMBATTING it, that they've found the "truth" behind the Brainrot and are the ones (sometimes ~The Only Ones~) who are brave enough to tell the world. its not conspiracy crap, just really REALLY bad takes like

"fandom is inherently anti-intellectual, discourages analysis and understanding of texts and needs to be slowed/stopped/actively fought against BECAUSE FANDOM IS DANGEROUS!!!1!!!1!!!1"

or

"being the CEO of a children's clothing brand automatically puts you at suspicion of being a P3d0 because why else would you look at little children's bodies so much" (this one baffles me fr, like??? where do you think all children's clothes come from if not from people designing and making them?)

like just bad, stupid takes that border on paranoia but also you can kinda see how they escalated from other less drastic Terminally Online mindsets

but these ppl used to be saying stuff that was smart, or at least funny and interesting, and in a lot of cases these opinions/styles of content are 180-degree shifts over a week or even a day

like honey. i mean this with all the care and genuine respect I can give. you're not serving hot takes, you're wrong- but more importantly your behavior is really concerning. you're starting fights in your comments and then putting them on blast in main posts/reels. "the haters" have become a stock character for you. you're doing 180 turns on things that used to be core beliefs. please get offline, like FULLY offline, and re-discover the world for a while- and maybe really do seek help. not in the funny online-insult "seek help". I Am Really Worried About You.

god. fuck. so many of these content creators are like 19 years old, and honestly I wish I could magically be in a role/place/physical location to help them because I'M WORRIED. worried like checking-their-feed-now-scares-me-because-im-worried-they-will-have-harmed-themselves. not because they've made any threats but bc their regular content has shifted so drastically and quickly to be angry, cynical and that kind of smiling-with-nothing-behind-the-eyes self-centered Righteous Hate that is indicative of

well

of something going deeply wrong inside

fuck im sry this is just rly upsetting me rn

(ALSO TO BE CLEAR. THIS IS NOT A VAGUEPOST TO ANYONE ON TUMBLR. THIS IS HAPPENING PRIMARILY OR ENTIRELY ON OTHER PLATFORMS. TUMBLR IS THANKFULLY, FOR THE MOST PART, FAR PAST THIS. TUMBLR IS FOR ALL ITS FAULTS A WELL REGULATED ECOSYSTEM THAT KEEPS THIS KIND OF BS LIMITED TO CERTAIN SMALL ECHO CHAMBERS. ITS WHY IM ON HERE AS MY PRIMARY SOCIAL MEDIA.)

[nhi-theuserof-this]

Can’t hold it in anymore guys I gotta drop a massive analysis on Pine Overcoat now that it’s existed publicly for more than an hour

Yelling about pine overcoat now that I’ve posted it

Also! Please read if you’re interested in qpr punknoir love confession

Ok so. I have A Lot to say so I’m just gonna add a cut to keep from having a big hard to scroll past post

OK TIME TO YELL

I will be yelling in chronological order in case you want to read along with my psychological profile of my own writing

Wtf is the title am I right?

Lay In My Pine Overcoat (Share With A Stranger)

The title has a couple things going on here so I’ll break it down:

what is “my pine overcoat”:

I do like, research, about things to make my weirdass jargon sound better or at least not entirely terrible, but my regular website for noir slang was running out of interesting phrases and terms I could reasonably use, but I don’t quite remember the site I pulled pine overcoat from. I’m pretty sure I took it from this site which defines pine overcoat as a coffin

The whole phrase, “lay in my pine overcoat” is functionally me writing a vaguely noir pov melodramatic line that would translate to “lay in my coffin” which does not sound as cool

What about “(share with a stranger)”?

This is a reference to hobie, who, in the title, is referred to as a stranger. There is a degree of vagueness that comes from the term stranger that you don’t get with saying friend or acquaintance, making how I’d translate the phrase different. Share with a stranger is changed to sharing with him

Why is he sharing? Uh. They’re boyfriends now. Do you NOT want to have a shared coffin and spend your eternal afterlife with YOUR queerplatonic partner?🤨

What do you mean satosugufication of punknoir? (Distressed kaomoji)

“[..]very minor blended in satosugufication of punknoir.” - my A/N

There is a difference between being friends, acquaintances, and best friends.

Oh boy. This one is gonna need a deep dive on my brain lol. And stsg.

What is satosugu?

This is an explanation with the base assumption that you’ve never even heard of jjk:

Satosugu is the pairing between Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru from the Jujutsu Kaisen series. They are gay and really sad. Akutami sensei just will not let the gays win huh? (See itafushi for more on the gays never winning)(see literally anything post flashback arc on nobody ever winning in jjk)

Satosugu has my whole heart in a violent grip with hostages and I’ve always loved doomed by the narrative/they’re just sad gays stuff(trigun moment) so I just wrote the line while thinking about stsg. No actual evil foreshadowing or anything unless that’s what you guys are into

(I can probably whip up a quick “you’re ruining the canon >:((“ plot)

Therapist?

His therapist—that's not something he'd imagine ever thinking or saying before[…]

He has a therapist. It’s canon to BS as of the Drabble adequately named “Therapist”. It’s Spider-Therapist btw. His name is Ezikiel Sims according to the license seen in his office

(He still thinks about the fog.)

A reference to his silly little dissociative episodes. The fog is mentioned in bankshot, though I can’t recall if it’s mentioned anywhere else

[…]Unhealthy, maybe, but it's a step in the proper direction from mostly being actively suicidal.

[…]but it doesn't stop the wave of sheer hopelessness that washes over him when he wakes up after sleeping a few hours.

Noir is getting better. He will have ups and downs, as your mental health is not linear in any way, and from experience I can say that sometimes you just can’t help waking up and just having the shittiest time existing. (I think it shows in my writing) Noir has access to resources he wouldn’t have otherwise if he wasn’t a part of the spider society and I feel like that’s part of what keeps him there, better or worse

They've swapped jackets, and Ben is so weak for such an act, simple as it is.

Shoutout to the homie annon for punknoir switching clothes, wouldn’t have happened without them

[…]He didn't expect it to get anywhere, but it did.

It did.

I had a little dialogue written but it didn’t fit in so:

“Thanks man, it’s mad cold round here. Wanna swap?”

He hopes he's been dropping pins enough to have it noticed.

Dropping pins is old slang for dropping hints(that you’re gay) according to this site

F slur(1) jumpscare below (I can say it dw)

That same site has a definition for punk at it reminds me of the spider-fag bit that happened over on the one blog(I’ll find it), had a quick laugh but it made me think about how noir would probably know that definition and would therefore be acting without referencing knowledge he has

I combat this by crying out “comic logic pls ignore”

Tism

He gets distracted by the nice feeling of cool dirt under his palms.

"Yeah I'm, sorry. I promise I'm normal about this, I just really like colors," he says at the dirt. "I really like colors."

I like cold sand. I assume cold dirt would be equally enjoyable. I’m not like, diagnosed, and dodging being asked about it or getting a diagnosis is a little counterproductive when I’m like, making claims over here, but I’m trying to maximize my rights

I think we can all also agree noir at the very least is a massive fan of colors.

A few hours later finds them both on a new rooftop, dirt washed from their hands and out of under their fingernails after finishing up work on the garden.

I’d literally drop dead if I had dirt or any kind of stuff under my fingernails and didn’t do something about it. I wash my hands often even at home, especially at home. I needed everyone to know that they washed their hands and don’t have dirt under their fingernails.

[…] and types out #390072

I think noir would like that shade of purple specifically

"You right mate?" "I love you."

[…]

Ben takes Hobie's hand in his, and says, "I am deeply in love with you."

It’s spur of the moment but it’s not like noir is just gonna take it back come on guys

"I have very complicated feelings," Ben replies, "lying would be cruel though."

Shoutout to you guys for voting on the poll and deciding this was more in character for him to say, this line was beating my ass so I just wrote them both and literally left it like that while writing the rest until the poll ended then just deleted the losing line

"Did- did I overstep?" Ben's shoulders creep upward as he leans away slowly. "I'm, sorry, I—"

"You gotta tell me all of it man."

Ben and Hobie are both very caring and I feel like they’re also both quite articulate when it comes to understanding themselves and the world around them. Bens initial and oh so eloquent(/sarcastic) response of "Euh. Uh,” comes from shock and surprise because he comes from an era where people just really don’t do feelings very deeply, and talk of boundaries and such isn’t really a common practice up until literally just a few years ago.

Hobie on the other hand is what I feel just generally socially aware in general given, you know the punk stuff and activism, so I absolutely believe he would encourage noir to explicitly state things the way he wants to without cutting anything out in order to fully understand as well as avoid making noir uncomfortable or bothered

Hobie holds out his hand. "It's alright," He reassures, "we could hold hands and be in love not romantically."

Hobie uses very simple language here and doesn’t even bring up aspec identities or anything here. I’ve said it in the tags of pine overcoat but I want to talk about it a little more here

Noir is from 1933. Things are very very different during that time, great depression, post wei and approaching wwii(though people don’t know it at the time) and just a generally shit time for minorities too. I’m not gonna talk about social nuances of the experience of being oppressed but I will talk about the part where a lot of these communities have to stay underground or are very private to individual people.

It’s because of that that there is very little information on your own identity available at the time. This coupled with a nonexistent internet means that you have to go out yourself and find these people in your community and by then it’s very risky due to the whole, you know minorities and this and that during that time

It’s also literally 1933. Noir is not gonna understand a majority of any type of slang you can come up with, and he’s going to have the shittiest time understanding modern humor and historical context given the being in history aspect. He doesn’t know about 9/11. The twin towers were built in like. 1970. He’d be about 60 by the time they’re built. He’s be in his 90s by the time 9/11 happened. There is so much that he won’t get because of just how much has happened.

He’s obviously picked up on the big parts of history that happen in the future. He’s probably heard enough about the world wars and all, but there’s also a lot of things that are considered universally known that he just. Doesn’t know. Like there is no way he knows about flappy bird or roblox. Or minecraft. He is absolutely always having something explained to him and while he probably appreciates it he’s also totally on the verge of snapping because

It’s just certainly a time having every single thing explained to you.

I feel that hobie can pick up on this pretty easily since they’re already pretty close in BS after initially meeting. He’d explain things in a way that minimizes having to ask follow up questions, so instead of saying something like “we can just be queerplatonic” or telling him about being aromantic or asexual he says that they can just be not romantic about it. He’d still tell noir about it in more depth eventually but when introducing new things he would probably try to stay simple about it

"Can I only lift up my mask halfway?"

Noir does not like his face. I’d say sorry but. I need to nerf his self confidence just a little bit since he gets to have that voice. Because like ik it’s probably possible but how are you achieving that tone without t. 💀 like his face is perfectly fine too but I just couldn’t not make him self conscious though

Ben marks the date on a calendar long after that moment when they eventually separate.

I want him to grow a small pot of marigolds and give them to hobie as like and anniversary present. I probably won’t write it but I want you all to know he’s doing that.

On to my authors note

i just had the shittiest time writing not angst. i'm just naturally bad at straight up non-angst(refer to my orv piece "sunfish" for more on that)

Like it says on the tin, writing straight fluff is poor for my soul. I wrote a stardew piece and I just did not have my heart in it. I don’t like it and it’s the only stardew fic I’ll write so you can check it out for more elaboration on why I wrote it in the notes. I wrote an omniscient readers viewpoint fic and while I wouldn’t say there was any fluff, you can tell that things got significantly lighter in tone after dokja does that silly thing that is not actually silly

[…] when i legally obtain the rest of noir comics i'll make a connected series that includes noir's actual comic continuity and not just vaguely referencing it.

I was vaguely trying to include noirs comics but there’s like so little I can find on him that I can comfortably consume(I have a thing about watching videos and it seems like a majority of content I can find about him is video) that I’ve decided to be vague about it and do whatever from here on out.

In the event I obtain the omnibus or whatever it is that has like all the comics he appears in, I will absolutely make like an alternate series that splits off sometime around now in the BS timeline in order to work with his comic continuity

how do we feel about hobie btw? did i do shit? hopefully not.

How did I do. Please someone drop a tutorial on how to understand writing hobie. Or how to write his accent like I did some digging and found some stuff but it’s all kind of surface level.

anyways remember how its canon to BS that theres just a team of spiderpeople dedicated to writing a newsletter about him. that noir does not know about.

You guys prefer angst about invaded privacy or outsiders pov crack because I’m down for either.

(platonically shakes your hands)

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this all or even briefly skim it because my heart and soul is being poured into this whole thing and like there are some very personal feelings and aspects of my identity that I include in writing BS

I am so deeply appreciative of you all and I need to express that, thank you all so much

[vergess]

this is a personal af question that you do not need to answer publicly or at all esp. bc its for fanficish writing purposes but anyway so like how DO you, personally at least, deal with episodes of psychosis? because google tells me that the go to needs to be antipsychotics but 1. the context is a character who does not have regular access to them anyway 2. every one i have looked at has GOD AWFUL PERMANENT SIDE EFFECTS that seem to be almost guaranteed to happen? and my doctor oc would not subject that to anybody. the usual psychosis symptoms i write in my current rps are post-ictal and postpartum psychosis specifically because getting information about that from people who actually HAVE THE CONDITIONS is easy, and there seem to be other methods of dealing with them without antipsychotics (plus, you know, magic dnd for one, and pokemon psychic bs for the other) but finding information on how people with other forms of psychosis (in this case, schizotypal ftr) deal with it from their own perspective is almost impossible? it's ALL ableist bullshit from doctors which is why i am hesitant to trust the idea of "antipsychotics are the only way" :/ even reddit is not helpful here lol and i want to get this right? i know it's just tumblr rp/ao3 fanfic/discord rp that nobody important will read but me and my friends are trying to NOT be ableist shitbags on purpose you know?

Boy I really just don't answer tough asks over the winter months, huh.

I started keeping a closer eye on how media that I otherwise recommend depicts psychosis since getting this ask, and I'm disappointed to announce that over the last two months only two (2) pieces of media have been Normal About Psychosis.

So, the first thing to remember when writing a Psycho is: WE ARE WHOLE ASS ADULTS WITH ADULT BRAINS OKAY, we're not small children lost in a fantasy. We're not violent monsters out for blood. We are people who sometimes see, hear, etc things that aren't really there.

Writing a psychotic character competently isn't about curing them, or even about reducing their symptoms. It's about showing how they cope with those symptoms while carrying on with their daily lives.

I'm currently on the lowest possible dose of antipsychotic right now, and I will say two things about that. 1) the meds make reality checks and other coping skills MUCH more effective. 2) Even at a low dose, abstract and creative thinking are hindered. I don't feel hindered; but I have a 24 year long writing portfolio that says I sure as shit am hindered.

Whether a character will benefit from going on meds is going to be a balancing act. But since you aren't actually looking for meds advice, lets talk about those Other Coping Skills.

Broadly, I would split my skills into three categories: stuff for hallucinations, stuff for delusions, and stuff for dissociation.

So, first off, reality checking is my #1 go to for hallucinations.

You pick this skill up pretty quickly as a kid; everyone does. The difference being that where a non-psychotic person eventually gets to stop relying on others to tell them what is real, we get to keep on asking forever.

It's actually super exhausting to be in a crowded space because most of the nonverbal cues you come to rely on (eg, no one else flinched so that noise probably wasn't real) become INSTANTLY useless. Every noise, movement etc may of may not be real, and your only option is to either gauge other people's lack of reaction, or ask someone you trust for a reality check.

Sounds like an easy way for an abusive shit to control your entire life with no effort? It is!!

THAT'S WHY PSYCHOTIC PEOPLE ARE WAY MORE LIKELY TO BE ABUSED THAN THE GENERAL POPULATION.

Once you know if something is real or not, you can decide to ignore it. Like ignoring anything obtrusive, this is easier if you are in a good mood, physically comfortable, etc. An absurd amount of "coping with psychosis" is just constantly monitoring yourself and others to make sure you are reacting to the right things at the right volume.

Ignoring something that your brain insists is real and a threat is very tiring, so there's also a lot of sleeping.

Delusions are significantly harder to manage than hallucinations, IMO. Not just because, as a multiply marginalized person there are myriad ways that an ambiguous "them" is actually trying to ruin my life for real. Being on terror watchlists due to racism REALLY makes it IMPOSSIBLE to manage my paranoid delusions because some of the more insane shit is just real.

But there are other delusions that are easier to handle. Mostly, this comes down to self monitoring again. I can take an extra second to ask myself, "hang on, statistically speaking, how likely is it that this total stranger ACTUALLY wants to kill me?" The answer, of course, is "violent crime has been trending down for years, and everyone in this area thinks I'm white as long as I don't go outside during the summer, so I'm safe."

It's all about finding the information that helps keep you calm.

Because the absolute certainty that this is a murderer and you are walking into the slaughter will not go away. You just... take it on faith that this time will turn out as safely as the last 399 times.

It's just a shitload of observation, mimicry, and forcing myself to do things that feel dangerous by reminding myself that they aren't.

That shit sounds simple, but it's a CONSTANT fight; it never really gets easier, you just get used to it.

Which brings me back around to my meds again: I think I prefer it this way. My writing sucks, and I keep crying when I read it because it's wrong, it sounds like a field amputation. But god, I went to a cafe during the morning rush a few days ago, and the overload of noise and data only left me bedridden for ONE day. ONE!!! Not a WEEK!

Maybe losing my only art is okay in light of how much less bad things are.

Anyway, I can't remember the name of the 2014 short story about the One Person With Psychosis being wrongfully shunned by her colony because she doesn't feel affective empathy, in spite of her constant and perfectly reasoned moral code ensuring she is, if anything, the least dangerous person in town. I wish I could remember it!! It's a good example!!!

I haven't read it yet, but people I love and trust seem to generally agree that the psychosis in Harrow the Ninth is well written, too, so maybe check that out IDK

[braveandsnipe]

kamen rider geats episode 8-10

finally getting caught up, here are my thoughts

overall i enjoyed the episodes more than i anticipated, but i still don’t particularly care for the series.

i like how keiwa’s main buckle kind of lines up with his mindset/world view. i can see how this also applies to michinaga in a way (with his line towards the end of episode 9), but not with ace or neon

ace says "the shinobi buckle must have resonated with keiwa" which is why it flew away, despite the boost buckle being the only known semi-sentient buckle. sure, maybe they're all sentient, but it's never been brought up before, only that certain buckles work better with certain ID cores. maybe it will happen again, if it does, fair enough, if it doesn't, well than this is kind of BS.

maybe i’m misunderstanding, but since the jamato killed keiwa and sara’s parents, that means their parents were participants in the game given i belice ace said “if you do in the game, you die in real life.” but this doesn’t apply to non-participants as we saw the soba shop owner in episode 2 and the baby in episode 9/10 revive after the world reset. also, i looked like both of them were wearing driver belts, the mom even looked like she was holding it as she fell.

episode 9 was probably my least favorite of the 3 (and over all tbh).

i like the scenes between michinaga and tooru, they're very eerie. i wonder if it's something that will be expanded on later.

the ending between michinaga and ace was very interesting, it almost felt.. amicable? the way michinaga kind of smiled at ace as he was retired...

episode 10 was probably my favorite

i liked the opening with ace, tsumuri, and girori having breakfast together, i was funny and cute

i also like the small detail of giving tsumuri two different slippers to match her regular two different shoes

i don't know if i ever actually posted it, but i do think ace's wish, while bizarre, does make a bit of sense given tsumuri and girori are probably the only people who have been consistent in his life while everyone else has come and gone (either by dying or no longer being a participant in the DGP)

i love punkjack/win. i think this show needed someone more light-hearted. although, i think his character can be that way because he doesn't have as much stake in the game comparatively and it helps facilitate this facade he's putting on to take down ace.

in the beginning i'd be onboard with someone taking down ace, but im kind of sad. like, sure, ace isn't the most pleasant guy and a complete ass sometimes, but i feel like he's just going through some things.

i don't care for how they brought neon back. first off, it's just fodder for ace, but the more pressing thing for me is how girori can just add players as he pleases. this is probably how keiwa will be brought back, despite technically loosing his qualifications.

it's interesting they introduced her to michinaga's team, i feel like it'd have more impact/shock value if she was introduced to ace's team.

between all three episodes, i have to say what makes me dislike the series the most is how a lot of things that happen feel like they happen out of plot connivence. and in a way, i feel like that's just the nature of the game, but i don't find it fun to watch.

there are some characters i like, i am intrigued by the DGP, but i'll probably not be watching on a week to week basis

[doctor-looneys-remedy]

Bi-erasure, part 3

In the early 90's we had a small flurry of mostly people in the grunge and alternative music category claiming bisexuality as an identity. Some of these felt honest. Some felt, at least to the outsider, as if they were just grabbing onto another way of being alternative.

Bisexuality was there and a clear identity, but it still wasn't very real to most of us on a daily basis. Celebrities had a far greater distance from their audience than the parasocial relationships they have today. In college, I knew a lot of straight people, a good number of gay people, and a couple of people who said they were bi.

Pretty celebrities could be bisexual. Most people rolled their eyes and generally just didn't believe in the "Pretty alternative girl bisexual" that was typical in music. Some fanboys did, but largely, it was met with a "whatever."

Regular people who said they were bi were largely regarded as just gay men who hadn't figured it out yet, and unattractive, desperate women who willing to hop into bed with whoever came along. Beggars can't be choosers, after all.

Bisexuality wasn't an attraction pattern for the regular person, it was seen as a coping mechanism. It was cool for celebrities, but celebrities back then were just abstract beings separate from the rest of us in a way that doesn't exist today. It was what you resort to when you can't get the thing you naturally want.

In the few gay bars I had gone to, and even around the gay, lesbian and trans people I knew, there was a huge tendency to talk down about bisexual people. We didn't quite fit in, even among well-meaning members.

Of course, I have to address that one episode of Sex in the City. I don't know what bothers me more- that it was said, OR that people my age and older who should have fucking known better at that point in their lives took it as gospel because it appeared on a dramedy about a narcissistic disaster human who constantly acted like she and her friends just plain knew it all (even though their decisions were constantly made a point of proving how stupid they were.)

So, let's meet in the present.

We are more visible than ever. Still some battles, but definitely in a much better place than we were.

I am in a much better place than I was.

But we still have a few bones to pick:

Bisexual erasure happens every time when a bisexual person (usually a male) is called "gay" instead of bisexual, when they clearly call themselves bisexual. A woman who clearly identifies herself as bisexual is relegated to the label of "ally" instead of being called bisexual.

If I could put every single person inside my head to understand what it is I am experiencing to better explain it, I would. But I can't do that.

I am bisexual. I am physically attracted to mostly men, but sometimes also women. It is not something I choose. It isn't something I control. When I say attraction I mean the same attraction you experience when you see that hot movie star or musician - and you are attracted in a way that bypasses your thought process.

Believe me, my life would be much much easier if I was one thing or the other. But the pain and confusion could have been lessened if the word itself wasn't bogged down with the level of BS that it was. If I had lived in a world where someone could have explained literally any of it to me. If I had been made to feel as if I could be comfortable discussing it with literally anyone at all ever.

Gen X ... we have a hard time owning up to the shit we have done. I know a good 75% of us probably went to a drag show in 1997. So why, in this era of super hate, are we saying nothing? The books that Moms for Liberty is banning regularly were books that were required reading, that made us better people. No one cared if our feelings were hurt by legitimate historical facts, and we took all of that in and it made us better people.

There is a positive note from my high school experience:

My Lit teacher in high school wasn't weird about the solid possibility of Shakespeare's sexuality when we started reading poems he wrote about men. She just said, "People think he as probably bisexual." and we all took that in for a minute and went on with it. No fuss, no muss.

That is what I hope for. No Fuss, no muss. No screaming about how bi people are this, that and the other. No shit about how we are confused. No crappy attitudes. No censorship of a real thing about a real person in history.

[phe-purple-parade]

Just remembered how someone at swing dance this week assumed I usually dance follow AGAIN

They weren't even new!! I've led this person before! Ik to expect this at external socials but for it to happen at my regular classes,,, that's my home turf what are you doing

Wtffffff

It's like I've unlocked this new cursed form of misgendering. When it's not even supposed to be gendered! It's just so damn infuriating sometimes!

NO, I WAS NOT FORCED TO LEAD! THIS ISN'T A NOVELTY! I ALWAYS DANCE LEAD! THERE ARE NO RULES! YOU CAN DANCE ANY ROLE YOU WANT! STOP LOOKING AT ME AND INSISTING THE OPPOSITE OF REALITY BASED ON YOUR WEIRD ASS STEREOTYPES WTF

I get it, you've dumbed it down to lead = manboymale and follow = girlwomanfemale, and that you see me and dumb me down to whatever the hell you percieve and you make the stupid freaking connection that I must normally dance follow, goddamn y'all keep telling on yourselves it's WILD

Like I highly doubt if I passed as more masc I'd be getting these comments. I cannot see how this is not linked to strangers percieving me as feminine. And that sucks that SUCKS I am not a girl leave me alone!

Literally why is anyone making these assumptions at all like if we're on the social floor and you wanna dance, just ask me which role I dance! Or, better yet, refer to THE BADGE I AM WEARING THAT SAYS "I DANCE LEAD"

DO I NEED TO MAKE A TSHIRT OR SOMETHING?? WRITE IT ON MY FOREHEAD?? RIG UP A NEON SIGN WITH AN ARROW POINTING TO ME????

The AUDACITY

For every person who assumes I dance follow, that's another year where I will exclusively dance lead just to exercise my autonomy and spite y'all

I am so damn tired of people assuming things about me, especially when you can figure out what's what by asking or observing

I hope these people feel embarrassed and learn to check themselves, I don't wanna have to deal with this bs

Am I overreacting? Idk, I think it's reasonable to feel annoyed by people repeatedly (and confidently) misidentifying what you do based on your appearance alone. Why do you make this assumption? I think I should start asking them that

[raynewolferune]

Some stuff happened and I've been really struggling with my PTSD lately. Basically got triggered pretty bad IRL and had a real bad episode; don't want to go into that too much right now. But the whole thing led to the realization that I've now been living with PTSD for 18 years.

I'm no longer actively in therapy but I was for the first 7 years. Learned lots of great techniques that help me on a regular day to day basis. But yeah, it's been just a kind of good reminder that healing isn't linear and you never really fully heal from PTSD even if you get mostly better.

It had been about 4 years since my last really severe episode before this one. When I told my mother about it she told me I "needed to be careful with how I talked about my 'anxiety attack' because there are people who really have PTSD" ngl that messed me up even worse. I had a full on nervous breakdown immediately following that conversation with her.

Friendly reminder that people react to and tall about traumas in different ways too. You should never discredit or try to "correct" someone on how they choose to talk about their trauma. It is incredibly damaging for that individual and it can sometimes be the thing that pushes them over the edge.

I'm not in danger of that right now. Again, 18 years of experience with PTSD and its BS, but it's not the first time someone has said something like this to me either. In fact, I heard it a lot before I got my official diagnosis and I ended up making a few attempts back then as a direct result of such "helpful" comments.

Sorry, I'm super exhausted and kind of all over the place still even though it's been a few days/weeks (I'm not sure how long exactly; severe ADHD combined with PTSD flare-up makes it easy to lose time). But basically, I guess I just want you guys to know because you really really need to be careful not to contradict someone or try to downplay/diminish how they talk about their mental health. It could literally kill someone and odds are if they trust you enough to confide in you then you really don't want that to happen.

So yeah. That's my soap box. I'll try to finish up Meta Jazz, the Arkham Intern Therapist part 3 and get it up later this week. I'm pretty sure I didn't finish editing it but I can't fully remember.

[thedivinefish]

TGIWednesday: I don't know why

TGIWednesday News

I believe often life is just us following the breadcrumbs through the magical forest.  We never know what's going to happen next and often asking 'why?' will just keep you curled up on the couch 🛋️ and living in a loop. ➰ I have shoes scattered everywhere and the other morning found thick black Skechers style shoes under the couch that I hadn't worn in a while.  I slipped them on and went outside to feed the outside cats 🐈birds 🐦 squirrels 🐿️ and other magical forest creatures that are sometimes waiting on me. Walking back in a more dense area by my fence I felt something that felt as if I had stepped on a rock and as I continued to walk, it was still stuck to the bottom of my shoe.  I stopped to check it out and it was a long, rusty roofing nail that went right through the bottom of my shoe 👟!  If I had been wearing my regular shoes or flip flops 🩴 I'd be heading to the doctors for a tetanus shot!  What led me to put those shoes on?  Magical fairies🧚, angels, guides, loved ones in spirit?  Regardless of who or what it was, I was thankful that a force greater than myself that runs in around and through me and everything in the Universe gave me a little wink of, "We got this!" 

Get on my schedule today and let's make some magic together! View Calendar First, Then Pay and Schedule 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 mins | Appointments

Discount Offer Ends at Midnight 

ENDING TONIGHT  Buy ANY MyBeliefWorks Audio and get the Cosmic Currency Clearings MP3 FREE!  

Claim this Cosmic Currency Clearings MP3 FREE BONUS with any MBWorks order - a $25 value 

Also, last chance to get Returning to Your Ethereal Restore Point Audio Processes at the Intro price of $49 

It's all about raising your consciousness to higher levels so you can rise above all the turbulence and the noise and the general BS that we all seem to be going through - it's been dicey at best so use this MP3 to level things out!

"Hey Jimmy, this product is outstanding, the best !!!. This healing is absolutely amazing. thank you so much for your love and caring for humanity and all life. Thanks, much love to you." - Steve T. "Thanks, as always! I've listened to the Restore Point MP3 and Cosmic Currency bonus a couple of times now, and really do feel it's steering me in the right direction, especially regarding my general outlook on things and emotional mindset."  - T. Diaz Read more here >>

Last chance, just $49 USD

TGIWednesday Video Download

 ~ CLEARING THE MIND CHATTER ~

I believe, think, know and feel that in the silence I remain open and receptive to what is best for me.  I am ready, willing and able to delete out all the mind chatter and recognize that I am in the flow of life.  I know when, where, how and why to remain still enough, for long enough, to quiet my mind and to be in allowance and acceptance of the greater good.  I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is.  Making daily progress will allow the rest of your life to be the best of your life!

▶️ Watch here on YouTube - Please Like 👍 and Subscribe 🔔

LIVE  Zoom Event Tomorrow!

For the remainder of 2024, each month we will focus on the theme of Clearing the 7 Well-Springs of Life during our monthly Zoom event.  Body, Mind, Spirit, Relationships, Health, Money, Work/Job/Career/Purpose

THURSDAY JUNE 27, 2024 4:00pm ET  |  1:00pm PT  | 10:00pm UK Pre-registration is $22 30 minutes live | Includes replay access 👉https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/7-wellsprings-mind-clearings

Call #2 Theme:  Mind Clearings: Past/Present/Future

1) Past

I am releasing ________from my past

[would of, could of, should of, regrets, judgments, sadness, sorrow, loss of a loved one or pet. obsessive thoughts about how I would have done this or said that. Any and all things from the past that still tend to haunt me!

current overshadowing that is still with me from my past education, religion, politics or societal norms]

2) Present

I am now releasing________from my current/present. 

[overthinking about how to make it through today. Sadness and sorrow about the world we live in, any issues with finances, debt, family, children/grandchildren, work job/career/ relatives and relationships any and all mental illness, OCD, ADD, ADHD, addictions Rx meds etc]

3) Future

Please release from my mind______

[overthinking about money and outliving what I have. Catastrophic health issues, things that keep me up at night, wars, the dark parade of the unimaginable, aging and hauntings/dark energies. And any other worry that comes into your awareness about the future]   

SUBMISSION INSTRUCTIONS: After registration, submit your top 3 words/statements in the format above by Wed. the 26th to support@jimmymackhealing.com 

Be kind to our editors: please KEEP IT BRIEF :)

Register Here - $22

Come See Me in Tampa Office

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS  

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions in Tampa. The next opportunity to book a session there is:

FRIDAY JULY 19TH | 10-4pm 

Please call their office directly at  ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $45 or 30-minutes $75. If you’re new to working with him, we suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy

http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

JUNE 26TH  "Today I will appreciate messengers from spirit. I will recognize the birds of spirit and all signs that are unusual, and helpful, and different in what shows up in our lives. I will acknowledge the love that spirit relays to me through signs that represent the mystical."  

FREE Live Appearances

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

From the Fish Box

MY DAILY PRAYER TESTIMONIAL

  Hi Jimmy, Thank you for the great sessions. This was the real deal. I really felt comfortable and felt that my aura was cleared and felt the positive results.  I really liked it and I also have recommended your great services to close friends and relatives. It's a real blessing to be healed by Jimmy and I will be booking another session soon and will be practicing his teachings. I felt the progress in busines, in health, felt that positive energy flow, this is all so amazing. I'm happy to have purchased Jimmy's products and thank God for such a great opportunity! Looking forward to more sessions and support from Jimmy!" - Best Regards, Z

The Fish Market

Our online shop is getting a makeover! Get a preview now as you look over the 40+ audio titles in our MyBeliefWorks Audio Collections. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s)  We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better and we are ALWAYS working on the next one. Don’t forget… you can share these with your immediate friends and family. 🏆 Best Sellers

💸 The Prosperity Collection  🧘 The Body, Mind and Spirit Collection 🙂 The Improve Your Life Collection 💻 Access 50+ Videos in the Zoom Replay Collection 

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you. Looking for a new job?  Going through a court proceeding? Upcoming surgery scheduled for you or a loved one?  Need help selling or buying a property? Troubled times in your relationship? These are just some of the life at the crossroads events that are ideal for My Daily Prayer program.

30 Days of Daily Prayer (single month) - $99/month This $99 service is for ONE SINGLE MONTH of 30 DAYS ONLY.  👉Click here After the 30 days, you will receive an email from Jimmy and have the opportunity to renew for an additional month plus update your list, but you are under no obligation.

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

**NOTE: Most clients save money and choose the auto-renew option listed below so they do not miss a single day of prayers PLUS they take advantage of the cummulative effects of this service over time. Monthly subscription - $95/month on auto-renew 

👉 PayPal for subscription Click here 

👉 Use Stripe for subscription Click here. 

*Anytime prior to your next scheduled payment within the 30 days, you can cancel or pause this service via email request.

---------------------------------

Could you use a private session? Are you feeling extra-crispy?  If so, you can now Book Appointments... View Availability First, Then Pay 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 mins  

​Visit our ​O​nline ​Training Center "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime" - Lao Tzu

All are welcome to CREATE A FREE ACCOUNT to access the NEW and IMPROVED My Liquid Fish Change Made Simple Basic Training Course. Anchors Away Masterclass:  Sustain and clear and sovereign energetic field of dark energies and anomalies. Life Force Energy Masterclass: Enhance your fishing practice by approaching from a deeper, numeric level. MLF Mastery & Advanced Practitioner Certification Courses

Visit now, Click Here!

TGIFunny

Share

Tweet

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack ​​​ Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Appointments | FAQs View Availability First, Then Pay 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 min www.jimmymackhealing.com Free Resources: Learn MLF for FREE | Videos on YouTube | Radio Show Archives Advanced Training: Masterclasses | Mastery and Practitioner Certification Clearing Audio Downloads​ and eBooks http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com ©1996-2024 All Rights Reserved.  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.sandybidinger.com

[divinefishingtips]

TGIWednesday: I don't know why

TGIWednesday News

I believe often life is just us following the breadcrumbs through the magical forest.  We never know what's going to happen next and often asking 'why?' will just keep you curled up on the couch 🛋️ and living in a loop. ➰ I have shoes scattered everywhere and the other morning found thick black Skechers style shoes under the couch that I hadn't worn in a while.  I slipped them on and went outside to feed the outside cats 🐈birds 🐦 squirrels 🐿️ and other magical forest creatures that are sometimes waiting on me. Walking back in a more dense area by my fence I felt something that felt as if I had stepped on a rock and as I continued to walk, it was still stuck to the bottom of my shoe.  I stopped to check it out and it was a long, rusty roofing nail that went right through the bottom of my shoe 👟!  If I had been wearing my regular shoes or flip flops 🩴 I'd be heading to the doctors for a tetanus shot!  What led me to put those shoes on?  Magical fairies🧚, angels, guides, loved ones in spirit?  Regardless of who or what it was, I was thankful that a force greater than myself that runs in around and through me and everything in the Universe gave me a little wink of, "We got this!" 

Get on my schedule today and let's make some magic together! View Calendar First, Then Pay and Schedule 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 mins | Appointments

Discount Offer Ends at Midnight 

ENDING TONIGHT  Buy ANY MyBeliefWorks Audio and get the Cosmic Currency Clearings MP3 FREE!  

Claim this Cosmic Currency Clearings MP3 FREE BONUS with any MBWorks order - a $25 value 

Also, last chance to get Returning to Your Ethereal Restore Point Audio Processes at the Intro price of $49 

It's all about raising your consciousness to higher levels so you can rise above all the turbulence and the noise and the general BS that we all seem to be going through - it's been dicey at best so use this MP3 to level things out!

"Hey Jimmy, this product is outstanding, the best !!!. This healing is absolutely amazing. thank you so much for your love and caring for humanity and all life. Thanks, much love to you." - Steve T. "Thanks, as always! I've listened to the Restore Point MP3 and Cosmic Currency bonus a couple of times now, and really do feel it's steering me in the right direction, especially regarding my general outlook on things and emotional mindset."  - T. Diaz Read more here >>

Last chance, just $49 USD

TGIWednesday Video Download

 ~ CLEARING THE MIND CHATTER ~

I believe, think, know and feel that in the silence I remain open and receptive to what is best for me.  I am ready, willing and able to delete out all the mind chatter and recognize that I am in the flow of life.  I know when, where, how and why to remain still enough, for long enough, to quiet my mind and to be in allowance and acceptance of the greater good.  I am asking in all languages and throughout all time lines and so it is.  Making daily progress will allow the rest of your life to be the best of your life!

▶️ Watch here on YouTube - Please Like 👍 and Subscribe 🔔

LIVE  Zoom Event Tomorrow!

For the remainder of 2024, each month we will focus on the theme of Clearing the 7 Well-Springs of Life during our monthly Zoom event.  Body, Mind, Spirit, Relationships, Health, Money, Work/Job/Career/Purpose

THURSDAY JUNE 27, 2024 4:00pm ET  |  1:00pm PT  | 10:00pm UK Pre-registration is $22 30 minutes live | Includes replay access 👉https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/7-wellsprings-mind-clearings

Call #2 Theme:  Mind Clearings: Past/Present/Future

1) Past

I am releasing ________from my past

[would of, could of, should of, regrets, judgments, sadness, sorrow, loss of a loved one or pet. obsessive thoughts about how I would have done this or said that. Any and all things from the past that still tend to haunt me!

current overshadowing that is still with me from my past education, religion, politics or societal norms]

2) Present

I am now releasing________from my current/present. 

[overthinking about how to make it through today. Sadness and sorrow about the world we live in, any issues with finances, debt, family, children/grandchildren, work job/career/ relatives and relationships any and all mental illness, OCD, ADD, ADHD, addictions Rx meds etc]

3) Future

Please release from my mind______

[overthinking about money and outliving what I have. Catastrophic health issues, things that keep me up at night, wars, the dark parade of the unimaginable, aging and hauntings/dark energies. And any other worry that comes into your awareness about the future]   

SUBMISSION INSTRUCTIONS: After registration, submit your top 3 words/statements in the format above by Wed. the 26th to support@jimmymackhealing.com 

Be kind to our editors: please KEEP IT BRIEF :)

Register Here - $22

Come See Me in Tampa Office

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS  

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions in Tampa. The next opportunity to book a session there is:

FRIDAY JULY 19TH | 10-4pm 

Please call their office directly at  ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $45 or 30-minutes $75. If you’re new to working with him, we suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy

http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

Fish Food 

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

JUNE 26TH  "Today I will appreciate messengers from spirit. I will recognize the birds of spirit and all signs that are unusual, and helpful, and different in what shows up in our lives. I will acknowledge the love that spirit relays to me through signs that represent the mystical."  

FREE Live Appearances

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

From the Fish Box

MY DAILY PRAYER TESTIMONIAL

  Hi Jimmy, Thank you for the great sessions. This was the real deal. I really felt comfortable and felt that my aura was cleared and felt the positive results.  I really liked it and I also have recommended your great services to close friends and relatives. It's a real blessing to be healed by Jimmy and I will be booking another session soon and will be practicing his teachings. I felt the progress in busines, in health, felt that positive energy flow, this is all so amazing. I'm happy to have purchased Jimmy's products and thank God for such a great opportunity! Looking forward to more sessions and support from Jimmy!" - Best Regards, Z

The Fish Market

Our online shop is getting a makeover! Get a preview now as you look over the 40+ audio titles in our MyBeliefWorks Audio Collections. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s)  We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better and we are ALWAYS working on the next one. Don’t forget… you can share these with your immediate friends and family. 🏆 Best Sellers

💸 The Prosperity Collection  🧘 The Body, Mind and Spirit Collection 🙂 The Improve Your Life Collection 💻 Access 50+ Videos in the Zoom Replay Collection 

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you. Looking for a new job?  Going through a court proceeding? Upcoming surgery scheduled for you or a loved one?  Need help selling or buying a property? Troubled times in your relationship? These are just some of the life at the crossroads events that are ideal for My Daily Prayer program.

30 Days of Daily Prayer (single month) - $99/month This $99 service is for ONE SINGLE MONTH of 30 DAYS ONLY.  👉Click here After the 30 days, you will receive an email from Jimmy and have the opportunity to renew for an additional month plus update your list, but you are under no obligation.

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

**NOTE: Most clients save money and choose the auto-renew option listed below so they do not miss a single day of prayers PLUS they take advantage of the cummulative effects of this service over time. Monthly subscription - $95/month on auto-renew 

👉 PayPal for subscription Click here 

👉 Use Stripe for subscription Click here. 

*Anytime prior to your next scheduled payment within the 30 days, you can cancel or pause this service via email request.

---------------------------------

Could you use a private session? Are you feeling extra-crispy?  If so, you can now Book Appointments... View Availability First, Then Pay 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 mins  

​Visit our ​O​nline ​Training Center "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime" - Lao Tzu

All are welcome to CREATE A FREE ACCOUNT to access the NEW and IMPROVED My Liquid Fish Change Made Simple Basic Training Course. Anchors Away Masterclass:  Sustain and clear and sovereign energetic field of dark energies and anomalies. Life Force Energy Masterclass: Enhance your fishing practice by approaching from a deeper, numeric level. MLF Mastery & Advanced Practitioner Certification Courses

Visit now, Click Here!

TGIFunny

Share

Tweet

Forward

Pinterest

Jimmy Mack ​​​ Transformational Healing of Body, Mind​ & Spirit, People, Places, Pets & Situations!​ ​ Appointments | FAQs View Availability First, Then Pay 15 mins  | 30 mins  | 60 min www.jimmymackhealing.com Free Resources: Learn MLF for FREE | Videos on YouTube | Radio Show Archives Advanced Training: Masterclasses | Mastery and Practitioner Certification Clearing Audio Downloads​ and eBooks http://www.jimmymackhealingshop.com ©1996-2024 All Rights Reserved.  

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.sandybidinger.com