#just split the freaking cookie

[moreover-clover]

Each time I watch the Batchelor or Batchelorette and we get down to the final 2 people they always have a "I'm in love with both of them, how am I supposed to choose" moment and while I'm not polyamorous (though I love and support those who are!!), each season I can't help but thinking "..... why choose??"

Like, if you look at it from the bachelor/bachelorette's pov, they signed up to date multiple people at once. They sign up to date multiple people and build multiple relationships, kiss multiple people. And from the group of men/women's pov, they walk into this knowing the person they're pursuing is dating multiple people. They live in a house with the other people pursuing them, go on group dates, some of them even form friendships with eachother while fighting for the bachelor/bachelorette's affections.

Like I just want one of these seasons for the bachelor/bachelorette to confront the final 2 like they do EVERY season and be like "I've fallen for both of you 😭" and just once, just ONCE, have one of the final 2 be like ".....I mean I'm cool with that 👀"

[neiptune]

you can feel it on the way home

cw: 1k wc, female reader, childhood friends to lovers, atsumu is so lovesick it'll make you gag, just fluff fluff fluff. sponsored by @mangostarjam, thank you so so much for trusting me and contributing to @ficsforgaza!

Summers in Hyogo are hot, humid, made of sleepless nights and the quiet buzz of fans blowing air that is always too warm. They get sweeter, whenever Atsumu visits.

On his very first official trip as a member of the MSBY black jackals, you remember thinking Osaka didn’t know how lucky it was about to get. You also remember his blinding grin at the airport, the way he took off his black cap to push it on your head right as your bottom lip quivered, how he proudly showed off his good luck charm. You couldn’t believe he still had the stupid bracelet you made him when you were 10. ‘Samu got one too, because back then no one could befriend a Miya without necessarily befriending the other, but Atsumu’s bracelet had one extra clay charm and faux pearl beads that were colorful.

You’ve known each other your whole lives. You were 8 when your parents moved into a bigger residential neighborhood, their mom was the first one to ring the doorbell with a tray of freshly baked cookies. Two little boys standing on either side of her long skirt, pretty much identical, differentiated only by the snot still drying underneath the nose of the one with reddened eyes. Despite his miserable state (stemming from Osamu tripping him and deliberately making him face plant on a pile of dirt) the little boy still mustered the courage to ask for your name and whether you knew how to play hopscotch.   

Before they became the iconic freak duo, the twins were simply the biggest chunk of your childhood afternoons. While you did everything together, from going to the beach to consuming the slide at the playground a few blocks away from your house, ‘Tsumu was always the one to stay whenever Osamu would decide it was too hot or he was too bored and just wanted to go home. You could tell it felt weird for them to split up but Atsumu would forget his brother as soon as you offered to push him on the swing.

Then came high school and he no longer was the little crybaby you’d grown so fond of, the kid who’d refuse to let go of your hand while stomping around the nanko sports park at the sunflower festival his mother dragged the three of you to. Atsumu convinced himself he didn’t care anymore whether people liked him or not (whatever helped him sleep at night) and that you, along with his teammates, were the only friends he needed anyway. Neither of you cared that Aran, Rintaro and at some point even Osamu were convinced you were secretly dating, an assumption only the two of you knew wasn’t completely groundless.

At the age of 13, you decided you wanted to be each other’s first kiss. It was a perfect agreement: no chance of the memory ever being ruined, as you were going to stay best friends for life. Neither of you anticipated the second time you kissed him, right after he announced he was asked to attend the Ajinomoto youth training camp. Just a friendly peck before an even friendlier hug, to celebrate.

But there was nothing to celebrate after the game with Karasuno, was it? The Inarizaki High volleyball team members were the only ones not really enjoying the party thrown just for them, so you and a few others took it upon yourselves to make sure they did. Atsumu was already wasted before you could playfully suggest he’d drown his sorrows in a disgustingly sugary drink, glassy eyes set on your lips as you listed all the reasons why he should’ve been proud of himself, why you were so proud anyway and absolutely certain his star was soon going to shine the brightest not only in Tokyo but for the entire country to see. And then he just pulled you close, arms wrapping possessively around your waist, captured your lips in a real kiss that knocked the wind out of your lungs, made your legs unsteady.

Atsumu is away more than he is home but when he is back, Hyogo seems to glow. It’s 1 am and you stroll by streets that are dazzling, his presence alone enough to light up the neighborhood you grew up in, your fingers are interlaced with his rough ones and everything in the world feels right.

“You’re not listening” he lightly flicks your forehead and you flinch, snapping back to reality. The bench you’re sitting on next to each other is the same one you’d kill time on as teenagers, when neither of you wanted the night to end too soon.

“Sorry, I was just thinking...”

“That’s new”

“Shut up” you attempt to land a smack on his chest but he catches your hand and brings the knuckles to his lips with an infatuated smile.

“Just kiddin’, sugar. Penny for your thoughts?”

You fix him with a falsely annoyed stare.

“I just... never asked. When did you know? That you liked me, I mean”

Atsumu hums, pensively strokes his chin as he peers at the starry sky above. Always so theatrical.

“Right away. Ya looked so cute in those dungarees, hiding behind your dad, too scared to even say hello. I was sick of ‘Samu at that point and I really wanted a new friend” he smiles when you snort “always the kindest, smartest kid in every room. Scraped knees to prove ya could keep up with the boys, making sure no one ever felt left out. Grew up to be as beautiful as your heart is. You’re my best friend” he’s far from being a crybaby anymore but Atsumu still gets teary eyed fairly easily and it makes your heart flutter knowing that, sometimes, you get to be the reason.

“That’s sweet” you cup his cheek to wipe a tear from the corner of his eye, he takes advantage of the proximity to gently grab your chin and keep you there, presses his lips to yours in a chaste kiss that lingers a moment too long. Atsumu could get drunk on the way you smile, chase him as he pulls back to steal two more pecks.

“When did you know?” he asks, lips still grazing yours, big hands now holding your face and a thumb lazily tracing the curve of your cheek.

“Hmm... I had my suspicions when I felt more and more inclined to leave you the last bite of my mom’s cherry pie. I was sure when you started going out with that Kobayashi during freshman year and I tried to convince myself that I could like ‘Samu to make up for, well, you” he snorts out a laugh, half outraged, half amused. ‘Samu? Hilarious. As if.

“I was already in love when you left for Tokyo” you gently nudge the tip of his nose with yours.

“So was I. But it’s just” he shrugs “I never could tell for sure. Sunarin used to call me an idiot but I just never really knew”

“What? All those years, you really didn’t notice that I was falling in love with you?”

“Didn’t think I was your type”

You laugh at that, then melt into his embrace, rest your head on his shoulder when a strong arm is wrapped around you.

“Well, you’re my best friend” you murmur into his neck.

[webslingingslasher]

and peter never shuts up about trouble to may

she teases him for it all the time and when they finally make it official may tells trouble.

“i just knew you were the one for him, he always talks about you. that boy is head over heels”

trouble and frat peter are total endgame

AAAAAA WAIT WAIT PETER DROPPING THE BOMB W YOU IN HAND AND MAY FREAKS CAUSE SHE'S BEEN WAITING FOR IT SINCE HE STARTED TALKING ABOUT YOU.

---

may, never one to complain about another friendly face, was smiling hard at you.

'oh, hello! peter didn't say you were joining this weekend.'

she was extremely happy, it was the first weekend she's seen you after your split. she assumes her nephew made right like he said he would, it had been a quiet few weeks on peter's side.

'he wanted it to be a surprise, did it work?' may answers with giving you a tight hug, 'very. i missed you,' she lowers her voice, it doesn't do much. 'and he did too.'

'may.' peter doesn't like his secrets being told.

'oh, i know he did. he cried.' your hip was pinched, 'hey. no more.' he really doesn't like those secrets being told.

may gives another gentle squeeze before stepping back, she's about to give peter his own hug until you elbow him.

'sorry, i thought embarrassing you was in my job description now.'

'i'd prefer if it wasn't.' you loop your arm around him and lean a cheek on his shoulder. 'deal. can i still do it in private though?' immediate agreeance, 'absolutely.'

may sees nothing but pure love, she really hopes peter does it right this time around. peter places a kiss on your hairline before gently loosening his arm. 'i'm gonna set our stuff down, two seconds.'

it's more affection he's ever been open to sharing with may, she's caught kisses and soft touches before, but she can't place a time he's willingly done it in her eyesight. peter knows she'd tease him too much.

'i see things are going good?'

you feel shy, peter said he wanted it to be a surprise.

'very. i'm really, really happy. he um, he told me about everything.' may knows exactly what you're hinting at, not that her nephew filled her in on his plans. 'and everyone?'

you laugh lightly, 'yeah. i'm still trying to wrap my head around that, i have this weird new sense of worry now. i don't know how you do it.'

it's comforting she has someone to relate the anxiety to, it's a new feeling and it's something she never thought she'd be able to share.

'it gets easier, but it never goes away.'

'hey, hey, hey,' peter's voice becomes gradually louder when he picks up on the conversation. one look at you and you know what he's about to say, you can't even try to stop the smile.

'i just got her, let's not scare off my girlfriend, may.'

a sharp gasp, hands cover her mouth. 'shut up! you're lying!'

peter plays cool, 'i told you i was going to fix it.' you nod approvingly, 'he really did. he even... peter, you wanna show her or should i?'

'oh, i got it.' your boyfriend clears his throat, 'i love you.' loud and proud. it doesn't matter if he's said it a hundred times in the past month, it'll never get old. 'i love you, too.'

peter looks at may, 'you were right. there's nothing compared to that feeling.' your bottom lip pokes out, 'aw, petey!'

'i knew it! i knew you were the one and i knew he'd figure out a way to get you back and ah! i just knew it!' you were held tighter than before, a squeak has peter crossing the linoleum to your side.

may releases you to tug her nephew in for his own hug, she holds him tighter than you think you ever have. it's warm to know she wanted this just as much as you did.

'i'm proud of you,' it was quiet, not really meant for your ears. you'll pretend you didn't hear it. 'thanks, i am too.' since everyone's caught up and you have no reason to feel like a slight stranger, you hum around their bodies on a mission to the kitchen for the cookies you've been smelling since the second you walked in.

mumbling around a snickerdoodle, 'is this an okay time to tell you that i'd much prefer a batch of peanut butter cookies?' may turns to you with an amused look, you may have led on that peter's favorites were your own.

'what? i didn't want to feel like i was changing the routine. it's peter's fault, he knew and kept letting me lie.' peter clicks his tongue, 'oh, no, no, no. don't blame me, i told you i'd ask and you said i couldn't be trusted.'

'yeah, but,' you look at may for support. 'have you ever been at a friends house and ask for something and instead of your friend covering for you they're just like 'mom, may wants a popsicle!' and you feel like punching yourself in the head cause like, why would you do that to me?'

peter gasps, 'i would never! i would conceal a murder for you in ten seconds, you think i'd sell you out on some cookies?' may holds a hand to her chest, 'i would love to make you a batch of peanut butter cookies, or we could make them together and talk about peter.'

he shuts it down in a second. 'no, no talking of me. thank you.'

'well, since you're my boyfriend now i think i should finally be able to hear your embarrassing stories.'

'no, not allowed, trouble.'

'but i already love you!'

'and i'd prefer if we keep it that way.'

'i've loved you longer.'

you always have to one up him.

'fine. you get three, and nothing from middle school. we're not there yet.'

your teeth sink into a snickerdoodle, happiness you've never felt before hasn't faded in a month, if anything it's gotten brighter. you could really get used to this.

may can't remember the last time her apartment was filled with this much love.

[discount-shades]

Contract Spouse Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Crashing

A/N: So Chapter 8 was split into two chapters. The series will be 10 chapters long so I am getting close to being done writing! 

Pairing: Jake Seresin/Reader (nicknamed Pip)

Warning:  Angst,  

Length: 2400 ish

Summary: Pip makes a decision about her relationship with Jake, and Jake’s feelings regarding spinach are revealed. 

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You had pizza for dinner, and you hadn’t made cookies. Jake had tried to convince you to watch a movie together but you couldn’t do nothing. The anxiety embedded in you from your childhood would not let go. 

Logically you knew Jake was nothing like your parents. He had said multiple times he was not mad at you, nothing about his actions indicated he was upset with you in any way, but you could not let it go. You hadn’t felt like this in years. The urge to smooth things over and make it better consumed you and you couldn’t shake it.

When Jake had been unable to convince you to stop he had joined you, turning the Bluetooth speaker on to Texas country. He helped wash the few dishes from dinner, humming along to the song playing. He vacuumed the area rugs while you swept. Whatever you did he was there assisting.

He finally catches your wrist as you start to reorganize the drawers in the bathroom. “Pip it's after midnight.” You stare at the hand on your wrist. His grip is gentle, thumb gently caressing the inside of your wrist. “The house is clean and it's time for bed.” 

You finally look at him and his eyes are soft, worry lingering in them. He backs up and gently tugs on your hand and you follow him. Your heart clenches at the hopeful smile and the relief on his face. He had been shooting you worried looks all night and you can see the tension leave him. You change in the bathroom, your room still under repairs from the water damage.

When you reach the bedroom Jake is still hovering by the side of the bed. “Do you want me to sleep on the couch?” 

“No Jake, it's ok.” You crawl under the covers and pat the spot beside you, feeling ashamed by your behavior all night. “I’m sorry for tonight. You shouldn’t have cleaned too. It's a ‘me problem’.”

Jake hits the light and plunges the room into darkness. You feel the bed dip as he lies down beside you. “Well you weren't stopping and I figured it would be more efficient if I helped you clean.” Your lips twitch at his words as the bed shifts. You can tell he is facing you on his side and you turn to mirror him. “You kinda freaked me out today.”

“I'm sorry,” you whisper, feeling even worse.

“I don’t want you to be sorry,” Jake's hands slide across the space between you. His fingers brush against yours and slowly tangle together like he is waiting for you to pull away. He brings your fingers to his lips and gently kisses your knuckles as traitorous butterflies erupt in your stomach. “I want you to tell me what happened. You were so upset then you were so blank and it scared me.”

“I don’t know.” You lie, unsure of what else you can say. “The interview kinda got to me.”  You couldn't explain the way your brain panicked after you pushed him and there is no way you would explain why you were mad. You wouldn’t tell him that when he called you Darlin’, your heart broke. That you were sad he didn’t love you like you loved him. It made you feel pathetic. 

It felt like the story of your life, loving and wanting to be loved by people who didn’t love you back. At least Jake was better than your parents, even though in the end he would probably hurt you worse.

“Just promise me you won’t leave me.” Jake's voice is strained in a way you have never heard before. “I don’t think I can do this without you.”

“Do what without me?” Your voice drops further, afraid that if you spoke too loudly it would break the fragile thread between you.

“Life, existing, I don’t know.” He pauses like he is searching for words. “Pip, I love you.” You fight to keep your breathing steady at his words, wishing there was some kind of light so you could see his face. He has said it before, but tonight, in the dark, he sounds different. Your heart beat increases as hope fills you. “You know me, and even after the divorce I need to know you will be in my corner. I need to know I’ll still be able to call you.  You’ll always be my best friend.”

At his final words the spark that had filled your chest dies. “Yeah Jake,” you agree, keeping your voice steady. “I’ll always be there for you.” At your words he pulls you into his arms and you go. 

Legs tangled together and his arms around you, you lie there trying to drift off, knowing Jake won’t sleep until you do. That his brain won’t let him rest if there is someone else awake in the room. Another way you know Jake like no one else does. Unwilling to move away and unable to deny yourself the intimacy you crave, you stay. After all, this is all you are ever going to get.

– – – 

You awake the next morning feeling overwhelmingly warm. Jake’s chest is pressed against your spine, his nose tucked against you and his breaths flutter the hairs at the nape of your neck. 

It’s too hot and you want to move but you don’t. Judging by the light filtering in through the curtains Jake’s alarm will go off soon and he will leave you then. It’s a Saturday so you have the day off but Jake has a training flight. 

When the alarm finally rings you wait for the inevitable loss of warmth but Jake just reaches over and turns it off before wrapping himself back around you and nuzzling into your neck, raising goosebumps. 

“How did you sleep?” you break the spell of the peaceful morning with your words. Jake hums and rolls onto his back, you shift with him so you are propped against his side but he doesn’t leave like before. 

“Good,” he tells you, “really good actually.” You smile at his admission and toss the covers off so your body can feel cool air and Jake copies you. He asks you about your plans for the day and you lie together talking about everything and nothing like you used to on the phone. 

It’s you who leaves the bed first to start the coffee and part of you feels more relaxed after your lazy morning. It had been nice to lie next to Jake and talk about your day but it made you realize what you truly wanted. You had been so caught up in your unrequited feelings for Jake that you had never taken a moment to think of what you were looking for in a relationship. And despite everything you feel for Jake you realize that while he might love you, he wasn't in love with you, and it was no longer enough. You decide it’s finally time to start letting go of your love. 

– – – 

When you look at your ringing phone and see Javy’s contact information you frown. You had spoken to the man a few times over the years but he had never contacted you for a  social call.

“Javy? What's up?” Your stomach clenches when you answer the phone.

“Hey Pip,” Javy’s voice is strained. “There's been an accident, Jake crash landed in the desert.”

“Is he ok?” you hate how small your voice sounds. 

“They’re taking him to the hospital. I’ll meet you there. Wives are allowed.” He says the last part pointedly and you know that he is hinting that as Jake's wife, you are expected to be there.

“Yeah, of course.” You would have gone to the hospital even if you weren't married to Jake. “Text me the hospital and I will meet you there.”

Traffic seems to slow the closer you get to the hospital. You can’t stop nervously tapping the steering wheel of the used Rav4 you had bought the week after moving. Your mind catastrophizes everything that might happen. Jake is paralyzed, there’s internal bleeding, traumatic brain injury. Jake dies. 

When you are able to park you sprint to the front desk. “Lieutenant Jake Seresin, he's a pilot, where is he?”

The nurse gives you a compassionate, yet reserved look. “May I ask your relationship to the patient?”

“I’m his wife.” The words fall from your lips easily. They are words you have barely spoken in all your years of marriage and have become increasingly common the last few months. 

She directs you to a different floor and when you arrive you see Javy, still in his flight suit, broad shoulders tense, pacing the waiting room. When he sees you he wraps you into a hug. “He’s in surgery,” he says, releasing you. At your look of horror he amends. “It’s for his wrist, he fractured it, probably has a concussion, but he's going to be ok.”

You sag in relief and collapse into a chair letting out a shuddering breath. You stare at your hands and notice for the first time that they are shaking. You squeeze them together until your knuckles turn white, trying to hide the trembling from Javy when he sits down beside you. You take deep breaths and slowly the shaking stops. 

“He’d be happy you are here,” Javy says and you smile. 

“I wouldn’t be anywhere else,” you say with a tight smile. “What happened? How did he crash?”

“There was some sort of electrical malfunction, he couldn't make it back to the tarmac so he landed in the desert.” You wince thinking about it and Javy continues. “He broke his landing gear off the plane so he must have hit pretty hard.” You nod and sit in silence, waiting. 

“He’s gotten worse.” Javy says in a low murmur, breaking the silence. You are sitting in the corner of the nearly empty waiting room but he still glances around. “After the last mission, I don’t know, he’s different, on edge, even before the investigations. I don’t think he’s sleeping.”

“He’s not.” you say before amending, “At least not well.” 

Javy sighs and you give his hand a squeeze and stare at the door to the operating rooms together. The two people who looked out for Jake while he looked out for everyone else. “He’s gotten better too.” 

You look at Javy frowning, “how?”

“After the last mission, I dunno, it humbled him.“ Javy shrugs. “Made him more of a team player, less closed off. Less of an ass.” You smile. In the few times you had met Javy he had always made jokes about how you were too nice for Jake, but you never saw it. He was never an asshole around you. “You’re good for him.”

The grin on your face turns bitter. “Spinach is good for you too, so is exercise.” 

“What’s your point?” Javy is frowning at you and though you feel guilty for bringing it up with Jake in surgery, you are so emotionally drained over the last two days that your walls are down. 

You have hid your feelings for Jake away for so long it is second nature. There has never been anyone you can tell. And there is still something stopping you from outright bearing your soul to Javy. 

“I’m not going to be someone's spinach forever,” you say following the analogy. “I want to be the gooey chocolate chip cookie that you want because it makes you happy and the bad days better, not the spinach that you keep eating because it is good for you.”

Javy is silent beside you and you begin to spin the ring around your finger again. You have no idea if Javy caught on to what you were trying not to say and a part of you is past caring. Eventually Javy breaks the silence, “Jake likes spinach, and exercise.”

You sigh sadly, “I know he does.”

– – – 

When Jake is out of surgery you and Javy both get to see him. He is groggy and doesn’t do much more than mumble hello before the doctors advise him to sleep. Javy sits with you a while before a nurse insists that only one of you can stay. Javy leaves you with a hug and you curl up into the chair next to Jake’s bed.

Part of you regrets your promise from last night, that you would never leave him. You wouldn’t for good, but after the divorce you would need to go away for a while. You are staring out the window when you hear Jake's scratchy voice. “I thought I dreamed you were here with Javy.”

You pour some water into a cup and hold the straw for him. His one arm is in a cast and the other has an IV. You hit the call button the nurse had told you to press when he woke up. 

“I’m glad you stayed.” His voice is less scratchy and still heavy with sleep, but there is a little smile tugging on his lips. 

“I’m your wife, of course I'm here.” You smile at his groggy expression and gently squeeze his hand 

“No, I want you here for me.” His smile drops, “it's not fair, but I do.” The nurse and doctor come in and you step back to let them work, mulling over Jake's words.

They keep Jake in the hospital a few days and you call out of work so you can sit with him. Mostly he sleeps but when he is awake you talk about the little things, Javy’s upcoming wedding, the house repairs, but never anything to do with your relationship. You are sitting next to Jake when Cyclone arrives. Jake goes to shift his posture and the man waves him off. 

“Are you his wife?” You frown at the brusque question but nod. “Do you intend to stay married to him?” You nod again and Jake squeezes your hand. You glance at Jake, unnerved.

“Well in that case, Lieutenant Seresin I am ordering you to attend marriage counseling every two weeks for six months, with your wife.” He drops a list of counselors on the foot of the bed. “After that, and you are cleared medically, you can fly again. If you are quick about it, most of your time in counseling will coincide with your recovery.” 

Your jaw drops and Jake nods. “You’re getting off light on this Seresin. Mess around again with another vindictive woman and it won’t go well for you.” 

“Yes, Sir,” Jake salutes from his bed and Cyclone leaves just as abruptly as he entered. 

“I think he just strengthened our case.” Jake says.

[yowyowyaoi]

Kisame’s Daily Texts from the Akatsuki

From Deidara

Me and Tobi found a big muddy hole full of earthworms, let’s go fishing! 😁

We finished it last night, sorry 

I was just teasing him!

Exploding or boring?

Not a tea person but thanks anyway 

LMAOOO he probably pissed himself 🤣

Pls tell Itachi I’m not gonna hurt her I just want to pet her for a while!

Leader said he’ll kill us if we do it again so no probably not 😓

You gotta use the conditioner too or else it won’t be effective 

I’ll ask him but he don’t really like places like that. Says they’re too happy 🙄

From Hidan

If you have two does that mean one sleeps while the other fucks or ?

No offense but it’s literally so boring I can’t sit still that long 

I would say he’s giving you blue balls but.

Can’t imagine giving a shit but 🤷‍♂️

Tried that once. Got the mask halfway off and suddenly felt like I was drowning. Never again.

Old bastard said no 😑

You need to watch him he takes like two bites and pushes the plate away 

How? Half of us are gay half are insane and some are both 🤣

One dick, two dicks, your dicks, BLUE dicks! Lol get it??

From Sasori

Thanks but water erodes my “skin”.

I’m done reading it, you can borrow if you like.

Please make sure he puts on sunscreen he’s too stubborn to listen to me.

Don’t really remember all that well but I believe it was ice cream.

He has to *want* treatment and so far he’s turned down every offer Kakuzu or myself has made.

They make for more appealing puppets if they have some unique physical characteristic while they’re still living.

I’ll probably marry him some day but first he has to work on not blowing himself to bits.

Oh of course. You know you don’t need to ask.

From Kakuzu

Hey I almost beat you and I’m 60+ years your senior.

Just this once … no charge. Worth it to see him freak out like that.

I’m not very well-versed in animal anatomy but I can take a look and try my best.

EVERYBODY pays. Itachi too.

Fits nice. My thanks.

This place is falling apart, if it’s not one thing it’s another.

It’s annoying but I don’t see any serious long-term effects.

From Konan

That’s so sweet, thank you ☺️ 

Write down the exact kind for me, I’ll pick it up the next time I go to the market.

He’s a sweetheart isn’t he? 🥰

I’ll take your word for it, but ducks are so cute I don’t think I could eat one.

Come to my room I have some eye drops that’ll help him.

If I let that happen no work would ever be done and they’d likely kill each other.

So many miles, with these heels it’s hard on my feet.

If you want it that rare then there’s really no point to me cooking it at all 😒

At this point the yelling has become background music.

Me on one shoulder and Itachi on the other. You big show-off 😁

From Tobi/Obito

You only beat me because Deidara distracted me!

Forty cookies isn’t even that many. Plus Itachi ate two more.

Kakuzu said to earn the money myself so I stole one of his bounties 🤷🏻‍♂️

Itches. A LOT.

Can’t stand tea but if you have any hot chocolate, yeah.

You should hang out with Zetsu more often then. Like one never-ending picnic.

He really wants to go but I don’t have a pole. You have a spare?

Yeah but he might let us get a fish-tank if YOU said you needed it, like for health or something 

Sushi? Isn’t that cannibalism?!

Fuck him AND his perfect ass. Literally and figuratively.

Don’t give me that “kid” shit, we’re like the same age!

From Zetsu

You want to split that guy’s leg with me? He was very fat, lots of good meat 😋

He’s a good man but doesn’t his dubious emotional state concern you?

It’s a lot like hearing two voices at once. Constantly. 

It’s no fun if they don’t scream a bit first. You know this.

I did the scouting; that lake about five miles up the road is both deep and fairly clean.

Let’s hide under his bed and scare him. I bet money we can get him to soil himself while crying for that damn Jashin 🤣

From Nagato

I thank you for the tea. It helped me to sleep.

Well, keep an eye on him.

The pain is worse when I stand but Sasori is working on prosthetics for me that may solve the problem.

As long as you return in time for your next mission.

Get that looked at as soon as possible. We can’t afford to have you out of commission.

I do, but she deserves so much better than myself.

I’ll speak to Kakuzu about getting you a new one.

If you two are going to do that, please keep it away from our hideouts. It disturbs Konan to hear the screaming.

From Itachi

I ate this morning. Promise.

That wasn’t Hidan’s fault, I’d forgotten to take my pill so my reflexes were slow.

Just consider it. Uchiha Kisame. Say it out loud. It’s beautiful 😌

Can you check if I left that shirt in your room?

Dei and I went there last night. The manager banned us for life because Dei set off a C3 in the men’s room. 😑

Fine. You buy the skirt I’ll “model” it for you.

Sad. Come stay with me please.

You worry too much.

That picture is for YOUR EYES ONLY. 

Aww what do you mean? Kitty loves you she’s not trying to eat you!

It’s one that Konan gave me. It’s really good you’d probably like it too.

Tea?

I didn’t *fall* in, he *pushed* me. Big difference.

Mom taught me when I was younger. I can teach you too if you want.

You’re mine too. Always ❤️

[multiwreckedmess]

Kinktober Day 11

Prompt: Roleplay Pairing: Seungmin x reader WC: 1.9k Summary: Heavily HEAVILY inspired by SKZ Code. You both keep saying you’re going to divorce but still it’s a surprize when Seungmin returns home with the papers.

This is a work of fiction, it does not represent Seungmin or any Stray Kids member. On top of this it is an 18+ work. For my comfort and boundaries please if you are under age do not interact with this. 

I feel the need especially with “rougher” prompts like this to put the disclaimer - fanfic should NOT ever be used as a guide to relationships or sex. ESPECIALLY SEX. Again, it’s fiction. Stuff gets glossed over for the sake of a good story. Please PLEASE please again, not fact, not a guide, just a fantasy.

TW/CW Under the cut

TW/CW: rocky relationship, teasing, a little forceful, reader gets fucked stupid, condom used, reader called “dear”, Seungmin called “jackass” and “prick”, aftercare!

SPOILERS; they aren’t really divorcing, it’s just pretend.

 “I thought I said I never wanted to see you again.” Seungmin stands on your stoop, hands behind his back, jaw set.  “You did, I just thought you should know from me personally that I’ve talked to a lawyer.” He reveals a bundle of folded papers, held clasped in one hand.  You nearly slam the door in his face, shock and anger coursing through you. “You’re serving me? You? Serve me?” Voice tense with quiet rage, you stiffen.  Seungmin pushes past you easily, walking into your house. His house. It was his house too. You had to remind yourself. Or at least his name was on the lease next to yours.  “Let’s not fight for the neighbors to hear, dear. Close the door,” he waltz casually into the dining room. The folded stack of papers placed conveniently on the edge of the small entryway table, discarded like junkmail. Following him to the kitchen, he’s already invited himself to the snack drawer, rooting around in the half finished bags of chips.  “Excuse you, might I remind you, you are a guest here.”  “I’m on the lease dear. And until you sign those papers, I’m still your husband. Legally at least.” He pops a chip into his mouth, crunching loudly, obnoxiously. You can feel the blood rushing in your ears, pressure building in your neck. Another chip, another crunch, picking away at your cool demeanor. Seungmin smirks, leaning back against the counter.

 Everything happens in a split second, you reach for the bag to throw it away but instead Seungmin snatches your arm and pulls you to him. Catching you off guard you stumble, practically smacking your face into his chest as you fall forward. He still smells good, like laundry and cookies. Like him.  “Gotcha,” he sounds smug, “snack thief.”  “I was going to throw it away, not eat it jackass.”  “Oh I know,” he crunches another chip loudly, “I don’t care.”  “That’s why I’m divorcing you.” You try to push away from his chest dramatically, but his years of coaching little league have trained his reflexes. Heart fluttering you forget yourself for a moment, looking into his eyes.  “Actually, I’m divorcing you, as it turns out. Unless,” his voice trails off his eyes flitting to your lips. Cocking his head to the side your body goes into overdrive. He’s going to kiss you, you know it, you can tell, you can feel it and you’re freaking out. You start to lean forward, like old times, eyes automatically shutting.  Salt and oil. A chip. You forcefully eject it from between your lips where Seungmin had stuck it as he laughs, nearly doubling over and holding the counter. “You really thought--! I guess I am the one divorcing you and not the other way.”  “Such a jackass.” You grab the bag of chips and dramatically throw them in the trash under the sink.  “Is that the best insult you have?” His voice is closer, too close. In your peripheral vision you see his hands on either side of you. It gives you just enough of a warning so you can prepare.  You spin on your heel to face him. “Prick,” you nearly spit the word into his face. His lips crash into yours with equal force, backing you into the edge of the sink. It tastes like desperation and potato chips. Hands migrating from the sink to your lower back he holds you tight, hearts beating against each other. His knee slots between yours, thigh pressing against you just enough to spark and light a flame in your gut.  The kiss breaks, both of your lips puffy and pink, eyes dazed and unfocused. Neither of you knows what to say, staring at each other, holding the thick silence between you.  “It’s getting late,” you say, all venom sucked from your tone. “It’s my house.”  Seungmin sighs, backing away and turning his back to you. “Sign the papers and I’ll leave. Until then, it’s our house.”

 “I already boxed your shit and put it in the living room,” you shout after him as you follow him up the stairs and to your room. “Are you listening to me? It’s downstairs.”  “I am, I just don’t care,” Seungmin closes the door behind you, blocking the exit with his body as he stalks closer to you “I’m tired of sleeping on couches. Until you sign those papers it’s OUR house. OUR bedroom. OUR bed.”  “If you want it to be ours so badly, why did you bring the papers? Why go through the trouble and expense? Therapy would be cheaper.”  “I want to hear you say no,” Seungmin pauses, watching you gulp. “I want you to be the one to quit. To tell me you don’t want this anymore. Put the nail in the coffin.” With each word he closes in on you, slowly taking off his business casual attire. “Put your money where your mouth is. You say you want me to leave, it would take two seconds to make me do it. But I bet somewhere deep down you still need me. A part of you fucking loves that I push your buttons.”  The revelation makes your blood boil. What is love if they don’t know everything about you and he does. He knows the snap of the chip and suction sound of his mouth would make you want to scream. He knows to give you an option to show him you really want him to leave because sometimes when you tell him to leave you really need him to stay.  Seungmin steps closer to you, brushing back your stray hairs with surprising tenderness. “So dear, sign the papers, send me away.”  You grab the open collar of his white shirt with a ferocity that surprises you both. Looking him up and down you aren’t sure your next move, you’d expected him to intercept you by now. Instead he smirks. Fuck it. You close the gap, lips and tongues clashing in a fierce kiss that continues as you both tumble backwards into the unmade bed.  Both of you are frenzied as you remove your clothes, as though you worry the other might think too long about it and change their mind. Seungmin dives in eagerly between your legs. Kisses leaving darkening welts along your tender inner thighs, taking his time to mark you as his.  “Minnie!” You try to pull away a little, the tickle becoming overwhelming, but his hands hold firm even tugging you back down to meet his mouth. With a lick he has your eyes rolling back, a harsh suck leaving you shuddering in his arms. Two long thin fingers slide easily into you, ready and willing for him.  “No one else right? You’ve not seen anyone else?” He’s hunched over you, eyes laser focused almost angry. His fingers stroke your walls just enough to turn your insides to jelly.  “No-no, no one. Just you.”  “Thought so, still as tight as ever.”

 There’s not much to say between your hushed moans. Talented man, talented hands. Those same digits work in tandem with his mouth, teasing all around your sex, rarely dipping down to treat your swollen area. Instead he opts to spend the time teasing your velvet skin, nuzzling and biting in equal measure as his fingers open you up. Taking pleasure in the barrage of sensations your feet curl and point into the bed as the pressure in your belly mounts and burns.  He can feel it too, the clasp of your walls, the pounding of your heart. The pleasure he’s earned, that he owns. He can tell how close you are by the way you chew on your lower lip, trying to stuff down the sweet sounds he’d so rightfully won. Withdrawing his hand, he smirks as you whine, kneeing his shoulder.  “I was close, jackass,” you frown.  “I don’t want you cumming anywhere but on my cock.” He holds your gaze as he rolls the condom down his length, smearing the excess lube on your aching entrance.  You buck up into his palm, overactive and oversensitive. “Greedy,” you hiss.  “Takes one to know one. Ass up or I’m not going to let you have any.” He directs you in front of him, on your knees and palms. The push only takes a second but it feels like an eternity, slowly forcing your walls to accommodate him as he fills your guts. His long limbs wrap around you, pulling your shoulder up, jamming as much of himself as deeply as he can go. Kneeling with him you relax your head on his shoulder, neck and chest easily accessible to him which he takes full advantage of.  Truly you start to wonder just how many appendages Seungmin has as his hips rut upwards into you. One hand threading its way south to your sex, one hand thumbing over a hardened nipple, and his mouth attached to your neck, undoubtedly leaving much for you to cover up in the morning. It was a debauched position, splayed open and moaning on his shoulder. Your first orgasm has you feeling lightheaded, the second has your vision blurring, as your third starts to crest you think you might explode.  Seungmin takes pride in each moan he rips from your lungs, holding you tighter as you bow outwards, back arched. Your muscles want to collapse face first into the sheets and leave your ass to his mercy but he won’t let you. As much as you need the fight he needs the closeness, the reassurance that he’s the only thing on your mind or at least what’s left of it. The way your body tenses and slackens as his cock drags against your walls drives him to go faster, harder until you're half sobbing from overstimulation. Only then does he let you fall forward grabbing your hips and chasing his high like a man possessed.  His nails dig painfully into you ass, clenching harder as his thrusts shift from frenetic pounds to slow slams. The wrinkles of the sheets swim in front of you, waving like the surf on a calm day. You want him, only him. He wants you, only you. His thighs tense, driving deep into you and spilling into the condom. Your entire body shakes with exhaustion totally unable to pull yourself from the position.

 “Shit,” Seungmin swears as he pulls out, tying off and throwing away the condom. You drift off to the side slumping into the bed, a small damp spot left behind where your open mouth was. You close your eyes and hug your knees to your chest, waiting for the bed to shift under his weight.  “The papers were a nice touch, did you really go?” The bed dips, as if on cue. A pack of baby wipes falls seemingly from the sky into the empty space on the bed in front of you.  Seungmin reclines next to you, hand lazily stroking your arm as you both continue to come down. “Nah, it’s the extended warranty from the washing machine. Found it in the junk drawer.”  You nod, impressed.  “I was worried you’d look too hard at it and start laughing and ruin the whole thing. Really if you’d unfolded it,” Seungmin starts to laugh, squeezing your bicep. “It was good though, right? What you’d imagined?”  Laughing, you close your eyes, exhausted. “You don’t think I’m crazy.”  “You’re crazy but you’re my kind of crazy.”

Oof coming in under the wire with this one. Originally i wanted to do something baseball themed and then i realized I know fuck all about baseball. Sorry Minnie, maybe i’ll watch sports someday!

[zaidthefeederist]

Giving in to gluttony : A fit to fat story (part 1)

We were both at the gym after work just like most days. This is where we first met. I saw you on the squat rack and was enamored by your beauty (and the perfect ass you had definitely helped). I approached you and we went on a date and had been dating since then. Though we both were fitness freaks (i still am) there's a part of me i haven't told you about. A part of me that would rather have you tied up in my bed sporting a fat belly so big it hangs to your knees. I've kept it in check for as long as i can, you had only gained 10 pounds in our 4 months together and a lot of that has been muscle definition since we started working out. Today however, it all changes. One faithful injury changes everything.

"This….freaking….sucks" I say grumpy as I sit next to you in the car. We just came back from the first aid room. I look at my leg and shake my head "no lifting, no cardio…and no rock climbing for 6 months?!" I cross my arms and sigh "That also means I really have to watch what I eat…else I end up like one of those fat girls at the gym" The other day we had been making jokes about a chubby girl that was struggling to do basic cardio

"god i know baby, its not fair at all. Not having you at the gym is going to make me lose all my motivation, not to mention who else will i make fun of the fatties with" i look to you after we both laugh to ourselves.."dont worry though babe. ill take good care of you, You know i've been making myself a better and better cook. Ill make sure your diet goes exactly according to plan.." i say as i keep my hand on your toned thigh, giving it a rub and feeling ecstatic and the though of having a home bound girlfriend for 6 whole months.

**2 weeks later**

"im so bored" I sigh before taking another cookie that you made me. "Im usually at the gym right now" Another cookie goes into my stomach. I dont seem to notice the little bit of pudge that was pressing on to my waistband when I sat down like this. You had noticed that I did a lot of "boredom eating"…and recently…I had also started snacking when I was stressed or feeling a little down.

"Im done babe!" i yell, having baked another batch of cookies. The last 2 weeks have been heavenly. Turns out when liz is left to her own devices with nothing else to do, she becomes rather peckish. Its nothing insane yet but she'll never say no to a little treat every now and then. With the absence of the gym and with me making sure to always make every meal of hers just a bit more heavy, she's managed to maintain her weight at 140 pounds albeit with a major bonus. If before she was toned and slightly muscular, now shes lost her definition and is even developing a little pudge. I see her belly pressing against her waistband as she snacks on one of the cookies i made her and see it press further and further against the band as she makes the tray of cookies magically disappear.

You always made sure to take the plates away or split it in multiple portions, so I had no idea how much I was actually eating in a day. after finishing the third tray of cookies that day you see I am rubbing my belly…I was getting full and I hadn't even eaten a meal! "My tummy is a bit upset" I say as I rub it. "better drink something" I grab the glass of soda that you had brought me. I drink all of it in one go. "I can't believe this is actually sugar free" I say surprised "it tastes like one of those cheap soda's that is super b-BRUUAUUAUAAAAAAAAAP-ad " I look wide eyed and cover my mouth with a blush "s-sorry!"

"Haha that was pretty cool!" i say immediately so as to not make you think i dislike it. I cant let you know that youve given me a hard on with that deep nasty belch, at least not yet. "I don't mind babe" i say as i nuzzle in right next to you on the bed. "in fact if anything it lets me know you really enjoyed whatever i made for you so no need to apologize." i say as i keep my hand on your bloated stuffed belly, giving it a good rub. "I guess you reallly loved those cookies huh, hehe"

"I-I do" I say blushing as you rub my belly…it felt good, but it also made me a bit aware of the fact that I was softer now. "I mean…its just not very lady like to burp like that right?" I smile as you roll your eyes at me "BRUUAAAAP…ooohhff but it does make my tummy feel better"

I moan to myself making sure you don't hear me. "I'm glad you like them" i reply, both to your answer and to that big burp you let out. We spend a few more minutes like this with me rubbing your rounded gut, making you get used to the feeling, making you love my hands on your tummy, making you know i like those un-lady like burps. Im slowly easing your mind into its new state. The state of pure gluttony. Before i get up from bed i decide to try one more thing, i grab your belly and give it a hard pinch and lean up next to your ear "You were a good girl today, keep eating like this and soon you'll be like those fatties at the gym". I whispered it and said it in a teasing tone, but i could tell by your breathing…it did its job. My eyes go wide and my face goes dark red. Did he really just say that?…Is he making a joke?…why do I like him teasing and humiliating me?! I look down and my heart beats even faster, judging by the bulge in your pants…you really liked seeing me like this. "w-what?….a-are you trying to make me fat?" I ask in a soft voice. You just smile, gently kiss my belly before squeezing it again and leave with the empty plates…Am I really going to get fat?

[yikesharringrove]

I think a lot about Steve and Billy becoming foster parents.

I think about them, mid-thirties, welcoming two kids into their home. A brother and a sister. A fifteen year old boy, and a two year old girl.

And clearly, they’ve been through some shit.

The baby is easy. She’s shy at first, and clings to her brother for the first few weeks, but she warms up easily to Steve and Billy. (Especially when Billy sneaks her cookies and Steve is always down for a little snuggle.

It’s the boy who is hard to crack.

He’s been in and out of foster situations his entire life. If it weren’t for his sister, and the fact that his social worker was actually doing a good job of not splitting them up, he feels like he’d be in his on. Our in a boys’ home.

But he’s seen foster parents that seem kind, but have some ulterior motive. Or call the social worker when they can’t handle his trauma.

So he pushes back.

The first day he’s at Steve and Billy’s, he throws a plate at the wall.

He doesn’t miss the way Billy has a white knuckled grip on the kitchen counter, or the way he leaves the room the second it looks like Steve’s got it under control.

And he assumes, that Billy was trying to hold himself back from smacking him. That he left to call social services.

He doesn’t bother to unpack.

But the next day, no one comes to take him away.

In fact, he startled awake to a soft tap on his bedroom door, and a voice telling him that breakfast is ready, please come downstairs when you’re ready.

He doesn’t. He doesn’t go downstairs all day.

And every few hours there’s a knock and a voice telling him to come down for some food.

He only leaves when the voice tells him that his sister keeps asking for him.

And there’s a plate of food for him in the microwave, and Steve gives Billy a knowing look before taking his sister off to bed.

He knew it was a fucking rouse.

And he wolfs down his meal, expecting Billy to tell him they’ve spoken with the agency, and they’re keeping his sister but kicking him to the curb.

“I need to tell you that you’re not going anywhere. No matter how much you push against us, we promised to care for you. You’re staying here.”

“Is that a threat?”

Billy smiled.

“Nah. It’s just true. You would never leave your sister anywhere without you.”

“Yeah? How the fuck do you know?”

And he wanted that stupid smile to fall off Billy’s face. But it didn’t.

“Because I was you. It didn’t matter how often my dad beat the shit outta me. I stayed there to make sure he never did it to my sister. We’d never, ever, do anything to hurt either of you, but you’ve been hurt too many times to trust that yet. So what you can do, is stop acting out. You don’t have to let us in. You don’t have to start calling us your dads and shit, but please. Accept that we want you here. That we want to take care of you.”

And he’s fucking stunned, because this is not at all what he thought this conversation was gonna be.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I assume the worst.”

“That’s okay. You’ve been through a lot. We won’t push, and like I said. You don’t have to let us in, but we’re here for you.”

He sniffed, and Billy’s hands flexed on the table, like he wanted to reach out and touch him.

“I thought you were gonna tear me a new one about last night. I thought you were gonna send me back.”

“No. I mean, Im not exactly excited about the glass I had to clean up. And your sister was scared shitless, she’s been freaked out all day, make sure you go see her before bed. But, I understand. I know what it’s like to feel like everyone will give up on you, so you might as well push them away. And I’m sorry I left. To be honest, the plate thing, it really freaked me out.”

And that made sense, because of what Billy told him about his own father.

He’s been on the receiving end of a broken dish before, too.

“I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay. I mean, Please, never do it again, but your anger and your fear is totally okay. I can help you cope. I’ve been in more therapy than you could even dream.”

And billy kind of had a spark in his eye, one that said it’s really okay.

I just think it’s be neat.

[siriuslygay1981]

Regulus likes strawberry ice cream (or mint, like a freak) ICE CREAM SANDWHICHES!! Usually eats in a cone or a cup

Remus likes chocolate or cookies and cream ice cream. He eats straight out of the tub

Sirius likes vanilla with toppings(gummy bears! Sprinkles! Chocolate syrup!) He also likes ice cream w/peanut butter. Bowl cuz of all the toppings!

Lily likes banana splits ( with pineapple and strawberries and all the messiness 🤤) bowl cuz how u gonna eat a nana split in a cone? Exactly.

Pandora likes strawberry or Napoleon! Strawberry in a cone and Napoleon in a bowl! No specific reason why, she just likes it that way

James...James is an ice cream monster. He likes all of them and makes a mountain of scoops. Chocolate, cookies and cream, sherbet, vanilla, strawberry and it's always falling over. If he likes it a scoop will be added to his bowl/cone. His cone never survived so he has to put it in a cup/bowl mostly if he wants a bunch of flavors. On days he puts a few flavors he uses a cone tho!

Peter likes sherbet or vanilla! In a cup. Oh he loves drumsticks too!

Evan likes coffee tasting ones, like with layers! Or bubblegum cuz he's nasty! He eats it out of the tub ofc! Gelato.

Barty likes mint. But! He redeems himself, he likes those ice cream with chunks in it. Like waffle cone chunks, brownie chunks, cookie dough chunks! He also eats out of the tub bc who even serves it in a bowl.

Dorcas is a frozen yogurt girl IDK. She likes black cherry or raspberry! And in a cup ofc. She likes coffee ones as well!

Marlene eats twix ice cream bars or Luigi's shaved ice!

Mary loves the birthday cake one. I don't make the rules, she's obsessed. She likes ice cream cake too! Chocolate mostly Cheesecake ice cream.

Can you guess who I am in this?

[sicksucculentz]

Regretavator headcanons: Bive. part 2

She can clack her teeth together very loudly and very fast. She does this when she's happy and or excited about something. She tends to do it it a lot when she gets to spend time with Split. It freaked Split out a little the very first time she saw/heard this. They were having dinner together one night and were seated across from each other at a circular table. Bive was gripping the edges of the table with both hands, she sat leaning forward over the table a little, staring at Split, classic frequently seen grin across her face and loudly clacking her teeth at Split. Split just sat there staring back at her with this slightly scared and concerned look on her face.

Now, Split isn't scared of Bive at their current status but when they first met each other Split thought Bive was going to maul her or something. The twitching, paranoia, fits of delusion, and her sure size scared her off at first. She found even though she was a little freaked out by Bive she was genuinely curious about the strange hairy mess and took a risk spending more time around her and boy is she glad she took that risk.

She likes eating chicken in a particular way. She loves it dry and loves to peal it by strands. Of course she eats it as normal but does the peeling thing while she’s chewing. It’s just entertaining to her. She used her claws to do it.

Split often cooks for her. She doesn't now how to properly cook meats so her meals are vegan. Bive has no issue with this at all and quite enjoys her cooking! Split was the one to introduce her to chickpeas. Bive forgot what they were called when asking for them again later and called them “little sand orbs” because of their gritty texture that reminded her of sand. Split often serves her peppermint or ginger tea with her coffee, helps to settle her stomach.

Bive and Split have dinner with each other every Friday. Lampert and Party Noob come to sometimes!

Bive used to be a ball of lint and dog hair! She formed from this ball of lint and dog hair! She started out looking much like a spider. It took her 28 years to reach the point she’s at now aging her 28 of course. She is cannonly a lab accident apparently as it says in her wiki. She was cared for in the beginning years of her life by 4 different female scientists that she grew to view as mothers. They had to leave her at the lab overnight sense it was illegal to take something made in the lab home so she was completely on her own besides the night guards that sometimes kept her company, most of them were scared of her and didn't want to interact.

Bive will not stop growing and evolving. It took her 28 years to get to her current state and size at about 6 ' 8 and about 300lbs rounding up. She's not done growing at all. Much like the teeth of rodents she grows and grows and grows. The growth and evolutions to her body will not end until something ends her life, it's unknown if she can die of old age. She was kind of adorable as a "baby" she looked a bit like those worms on a string but with little spider like legs. She would scuttle around eating bugs, crumbs, other peoples lunches if left out, snacks left out, small meals given to her by staff, and just about anything she could find and fit in her mouth. She only had 3 teeth on the top and bottom and it took her like 3 years to reach a size big enough to finish a whole sandwich.

A smart cookie she was able to pick up language by creeping around others. Doing this also gave her an insight to more than just English. She knows a tiny amount of Korean, French, German, and Spanish! It's not nearly enough to be fluent though, hell she still fucks English up sometimes.

She tends to know a lot of different things but it's more along the lines of dabbling in the surface level of many different topics. She has one little section of something that she's got a lot of depth in and that tends to be criminal justice. She loves true crime, murder mysteries, and even conspiracies!

[starbuckaroo]

I think I would be happier w bucktommy all these episodes down the line if Tommy still interacted with or asked after Eddie. I know there’s a lot the show doesn’t put onscreen so there’s no reason why it couldn’t have plausibly happened or couldn’t still happen (and I hope it does), but Tommy was Eddie’s friend first! They hung out a lot!

And yet, since he got together with Buck, we haven’t gotten to see them interact.

Granted, there hasn’t been a lot of screen time for Tommy and that’s fine, it’s a short season w very little room to breathe. This isn’t some sort of angry anti bucktommy tirade. But it does make me just a tad uncomfortable the way things are at this moment. Bc it’s not a stretch to theorize that maybe Tommy was hoping things Eddie might go somewhere and when they didn’t, he tried with Buck. I don’t think that’s supported by the text, but it’s also not negated, either. Idk. It’s not a huge deal at the moment, just a little snag?

Listen I am a buck fan but I am an eddie fan!!!!!!! And I am so so sad for eddie this season it’s been rly fucking rough on him! Not like buck needs to change anything (except not be a jealous freak and lash out physically if he can’t use his words), like I said I’m here for bucktommy I think they’re great. But like. Where’s the awkward “hey how do we hang out now that you two make out sometimes” or whatever?? We deserve to see that tbh! It’s a more common issue in queer circles, that ppl have to slip in and out of romantic/platonic interactions when people partner up or break up. It’s also the first time either of them have dated anyone within the LAFD and so it’s the first time this could ever have even come up!

Idk man. Just I keep thinking about how happy eddie seemed when he was hanging out w Tommy and maybe it’s just bc that ep was meant to be from Buck’s pov but i don’t know what’s worse, thinking it WAS real and now he doesn’t get to have that friendship anymore or that it WASNT real and he was never actually having that good of a time.

MY REAL POINT is that anyone who WAS or IS a buddie shipper or anyone who likes Eddie at all has to acknowledge how important buck and eddie are to each other, right? Which means that in any relationship that either of them ever have, if they want it to be serious and have long term potential, they actually need to integrate their partner with their best friend.

Maybe this is too weird for some ppl? It’s always seemed like a given, like if there’s someone new and important in my life, I def want my best friend to meet them and like them bc I want us all to be able to spend time together! I don’t want to feel split between them all the time! And esp with Tommy already having connections with most of the 118/main cast, and particularly Eddie, it would make sense for us to see them interacting!

Idk. I’m probably wanting too much from my network tv show lol I just. I will literally never take bucktommy seriously as a pairing if they don’t manage to address the Eddie of it all. And not in a “address the fact that buck loves him” contrived jealousy nonsense. I mean address the fact that their lives are bound together! And it predates anyone that either of them will ever date! Plus imagine the character growth it would take for Buck to send Tommy to Thursday basketball with like a plate of cookies and orange slices or something but not show up himself. Be like “have fun with the boys, slap Eddie’s ass for me” or whatever 😂 I would believe Buck was finally on his way to being ready for a long term adult relationship if they managed that, is all I’m saying

[sammywolfgirl]

Hey so dragon swap au thoughts I don’t think I shared here.

So

You know how in cannon the twin dragons got split in half? And in dragon swap we got twin ancients.

So I had this idea.

That

They still got split.

However it wasn’t as Devine punishment. It was prevention.

Imagine this- Stormbringer tells this ancient who calmed a raging dragon and earned the soul jam of resolution about the beast cookies.

This ancient. Wise in their history and fearing the beasts return, asks the diety to split their soul with their Devine weapon. And thus splitting the soul jam as well.

So if the beast returned wishing to claim it’s missing half it cannot do so easily.

Bonus points if the twins forgot this, extra bonus points if the other ancients and dark cacao dragon knew of this arrangement. And once they all realized the twins got amnesia about it collectively agreed “ok so they’ll freak out if we tell them so everyone act like this has always been the case. But if they learn the truth tell them everything. Got it?”

Honestly I also had an idea for why dark cacao dragon was causing a rage since it was just him up there.

Protecting his hatchling. Or the egg itself.

Dragon eggs take a while to hatch if the conditions aren’t right. I doubt a dragon egg could hatch in a blizzard.

[this-thing-saved-me]

This Show Saved Me - BTVS 7x22

7x22 Chosen

I will never not find it funny that to stream Buffy I have to go to Disney+. Or the fact that the most recent episode I’d watched (whenever that was) was this one. Since I’m pretty sure I left my rewatch mid-season 3.

But that’s the thing about this particular episode. It’s practically a perfect finale. And felt like the right place to start, because who says everything should happen in order. That’s not always how life works. 

THERE WILL LIKELY BE ABUNDANT SPOILERS FOR A FINALE THAT AIRED OVER TWENTY YEARS AGO. There, that was your warning. And now for some Cole's notes “Story so far.”

Okay, so Buffy’s been through it by this point. The First has annihilated her self-confidence and Caleb has been on the warpath. Spike has told her she’s the one (!!!), whether she fully believes in herself yet or not. (SIDENOTE: yes, I ship Spuffy. Yes, there are very, very valid reasons not to. However I am a big fan of redemption arcs and where they land by the end of the comics feels like as healthy a place as possible with a very real love.)

And Angel shows up trying to be all tall-dark and forehead. Which I get, he’s Angel, he needs to be in the finale. But ultimately he's a delivery boy and he didn’t need to do it in person other than to prompt the first on my list of loves for this episode. 

Which is what I lovingly refer to as the "Cookie Speech." Buffy knows she has more growing to do and she’s self-aware enough to share that with the first love of her life. She’s come a long way from the season of post-resurrection depression, but she’s still not quite ready for what Angel might like her to be (granted he’s JUST lost Cordelia so the fact that he is back at Buffy’s door is a rant for another post.) The idea that things aren’t working for her romantically because she’s not done baking. She hasn’t figured out all that she wants to be. While I love love LOVE this analogy, I wonder if there’s ever really a time in our lives where we are done baking? Besides the end of course. We’re supposed to evolve. We’re supposed to grow.

Spike is her Champion, not Angel. They’ve seen the best and the worst of each other, remember? He knows she needs someone strong, someone with a soul, and despite the bad, she knows he’s earned the right to the title through growing and atoning. Motivated people can change, and that’s something I believe that Spike has shown.

“He had to split” - the joke is LHF and I love it. Does its utterance deserve a place on this list? Yes. Because it's very me-coded. I’d have a very hard time not making the same joke if I had just rendered a man from stem to stern. But I digress. This episode is serious and still silly. It’s the epitome of BTVS episodes. I mean Spike waking from a dream yelling “I’m drowning in Cool Whip,” come on. It’s akin to “the cheese wears me” in off kilter nonsense. Plus Anya later finding her strength in her hatred for "floppy, hoppy bunnies" will never not kill me. (Or her, again spoiler.) I adore Emma Caufield.

Willow is afraid to use magic because of her history with the darkness. Not knowing if she’s stable enough. I can identify with her at this moment after clawing back from my own mental health blip a couple years ago. She went dark. (I went, arguably, nuts) She’s regained her balance but how secure? It’s going to turn out to be really secure because “Oh my goddess” she’s got this. AND…

The fact that Kennedy is there for Willow to help keep her grounded. Her very presence supports Willow but isn’t the deciding factor for victory. Willow needs to believe in herself that she won’t go back over that edge. She touched the darkness and it freaked her the f out. (Once she came back down from the overwhelm and shock of her grief.) I lived in that fear for a long time. And I’m grateful for the grounding I’ve found outside of the support of others, but within myself.

Just for fun, let’s chat about the DND session. Even the scoobies needed to disassociate before the big thing. And self-permission to have fun during challenging times is key. It can’t all be doom and gloom. Sometimes you recharge that nervous energy through Trogdor the Burninator references and that’s more than okay.

Ultimately we have the’ shared power’ speech. “Here’s the part where you make a choice” more specifically. Because they could easily choose to let the First and its legions overwhelm the world and finally be the apocalypse they couldn’t handle. It’s easier to stay down. It’s easier to say I can’t. But where does that get you? Making that choice to take your power back and say I am more than what wants to overwhelm me is a beautiful moment. This moment, where all the Potentials get their piece of the power pie is tremendously moving. I get shivers just thinking about it. Male or female, we don’t need the permission of Slayer power to take back our own. To say ‘no more’ and get back up off the ground. (Although Slayer strength would be badass, let’s be real.)

The bottom line, this episode epitomises what I love about Buffy and the Whedon-verse. Real characters in a fantastic world who battle larger than life caricatures of the demons we fight in our daily lives. This show saved me in a lot of ways. My very first boyfriend got me to watch it back in 2005, which he may have regretted as it CONSUMED my brain for most of grade 12. It was the perfect time for me to experience this show. I credit it for helping me find my voice offline. I was always a nose-in-a-book girl or heavily distracted with FanFiction. I was one of the quietest in my friend group, not really feeling like there was a value to what I had to say. The message that we can choose to be strong and fight back? That’s one that I’ll eternally be grateful for and will carry with me, always. What’s your favourite episode? And why is it “Once More With Feeling”? ;)

(Honourable mention goes to this eye contact where my headcanon is convinced he sees she really does love him despite him telling her otherwise seconds before. THOSE SMG EYES! I can't.)

[oh-for-fic-sake-library]

Anal?

Masterlist

Summary: its fun enlightening people isnt it?

Warnings : mentions of anal (surprise surprise) teasing, swearing, crack fic

A/N:just a funny little drabble based on banter and commeradery. Also i would 100% tease the fuck out of obi-wan i wanna make him blush so bad, and i know i could. I just know it!

"Aren't you excited to get home and enjoy that four letter word?" Cody asked, excited to be heading home for a few weeks' leave. The others took that as a queue for a little guessing game, each offering their own four letter word. love?,Food? Beer?

"Anal?" Everyone paused nd snapped their heads to you. You forwned but kepts chewing your mouthfull of cookie slowly, flicking your gaze between the others.

"A-anal? Y/n? What the fuck? Your a jedi!" Cody broke the awkward silence with a yell, waving at you animatedly.

"Oh What like i cant be a jedi and like anal at the same time?" You said with a scoff rolling your eyes before taking another bite of your cookie.

"Well i? No? But.!?" He tried to find the words to argue his point but you cut him off.

"Exactly. Butts" you smirked pointing to him with a suggestive raise pf your eyebrows.

"Fucking hell!"

"This discussion is very inappropriate" obiwan called from his seat across the room. Desperately trying npt to massaged his temples as he felt another head ache coming. He knew you would rile the others up. You cpuldnt help it it was in your nature, not even being raised in the temple could get rid of your sadistic streak. And by force did they try to teach it out of you.

"Like youve never tried butt stuff?" You grunted at the older man with a light sneer. Not about to be judged by so eone who'd probably played more 'hide the salami' then you ever had.

But the jedi master held firm, trying to keep a stern gaze, but flushed. His eyes gave him away. No, he had never explored to that degree.

"Wait youve neve smashed a girls back doors in?" You pondered out loud unable to fathom the attractive man had never been given the chance to lay some back door pipe.

"Oh my god you havent? Well shit i thought he got it from you?" You exclaimed pointing a thumb in Anakins direction whoch ,and a few of the others chuckle. Anakin frowned for a second and made to ask what you meant, but obi-wan got there first with a sputtering yelp.

"I beg your pardon?! Who got what from me exactly?" Obiwans voice grew high. Offended by the insinuation. Yet still asked just to clarify he hadnt misheard you.

"Well, you know you got anakin when you were young, i gathered he got that cocky adventourous sheet freak vibe from you? But now Im geussing not?" You shrugged

"Wait i give off sheet freak vibes?" Anakin asked from the door, a little too excitedly if you do say so yourself.

"Err yeah.... did you not know that? Like half the temple thinks your a kinky son of a btich... and they think you got it from him" you explained whilst slowly pointing to obiwan, who despite blushing looked completly blindsided. And appalled.

"Jedi have fantasy fucks?"

"Im stil, surprised to find out you guys have sex? Like kriff! You live in an actual temple" You rolled your eyes as the guys spoke out loud, completely confused. It was like they belived jedi were a differe speices. Idiots.

"We're not fucking abstinent. We just dont form relationships. We are free to fuck all we want;i mean damn you can fuck without being lovers. So in other words yes. Jedi women have fantasy fucks. And most of the ones i know;which is a fair few are sort of split into two camps. Obi-wan and Anakin. Some are simps for windu too but err. No thanks i tryto avoid that particular locker room talk"

"Im a fantasy fuck? Thats pretty awsome actually." Anakin laughed puffing his chest with pride. You giggled at him nodding, pleased that he atleast found it amusing.

"Thats the spirit" you praised him with a beaming grin.

"Anakin, y/n can you both just shut up? Please I just? I didnt need to know this type of thing happened in the temple." Obi-wan huffed pinching his brow. Clearly he was getting fed up with the two of you and your laid back attitudes. Honestly why the hell the council had paired you two together in the same troop he will never know. You both brought out the worst in each other.

"To be honest obi-wan, you should be proud, i mean being a temple fantasy fuck is quite something. We are a religious bunch... maybe sacrilegious now?" You teased lightly trying to lighten him up with so e jokes. He really was a stuck in the mud. But then again that stern yet caring disposition was what had granted him the 'daddy' moniker. His reply was a stern grunt of your name, warning you to pack it in.

"What? Im Tying'na make you feel better. No one likes a sad obi-wan. Especially the ladies at the temple" you pouted glearing at him crossing your arms. But he held your gaze, raising a brow.

"Am i a fantasy fuck in the temple" the question came from cody, sitting beside you. You paused for a moment before pointing at him a little.

"You know what? I'll ask around and get back to you on that cody" the conversation seemed to stall their, much to the jedi masters relief. Anakin looked to obi-wan seeing him relax, thanking the stars anal was jot the topic of discussion now. He smirked, he couldnt have that now could he?

"Sooo anal?" He asked, turing his head to you suggestively smirking, before sending you a not so subtl wink. Obi-wan deapanned before ha ing his head. Muttering ' For fuck sake anakin' under his breath.

"In your dreams pretty boy" you uttered smirking back at him enjoying the little tit for tat, and the fact anakin was in a playful mood, whoch was rare nowadays.

"Ah your an obi-wan kind of girl, gotcha" he grinned crossing his arms and tipping back to lean on the wall.the others laughed and began hooting like a bunch of overgrown teens.

"Fuck you!" You cursed glowering at him playfully.

"I just tried, but you turned me down" he coundptered sending the clones into peals of laughter as your face turned red and yo tried to find some scathing reply.

"Anakin stop it!" Obi-wan chided half heartedly. He couldnt help it, deep down he did enjoy seeing the old playfull anakin rear his head. It was rare.

"Oh i think the feelings mutual. Lucky obi-wan y/n~" you flushed brighter and squeaked. The grin on obi-wan's face dropped and he began scolding him. But as usual it fell on deaf ears.

"Thats not fair! Jedi get the force, the sabers, and now anal?!" Cody cried raising his hands in a 'what the fuck' gesture. You threw your head back laughing at the list of jedi perks. Even anakin broke out into a thunderous laugh. Clearly the man had done the back door break in probably to avoid pregnancy; much like you if your honest.

"no one is getting anal; dont you dare give me that look y/n" obi-wan stated making the room break out into a chorus of groans. Yoh giggled though, your pout had caught iphis attention.

"Boring old fart" you snipped slumpjng back into your seat with a grunt.

"Hey! Watch it" he growled snapping his fingers whislt pojntjng at you.

"What ever you say daddy~" you laughed when his composure slipped and his cheeks glowed. You smirked at him. Gotcha! He rolled his eyes waving a hand at you before slipping away from the group with a sigh. By know youd thought he'd learn youd do anything to rile him up. Teasing was pretty much the only fun you got. Well untill you got so e leave and found a little fuck boy.

[the-iceni-bitch]

Freedom in Your Arms

Kinktober Day 18: Choking

Relationship: mob!Steve Kemp x fem!reader (blade and cookie, Poison Paradise AU)

Words: ~400

Summary: You love spoiling your man.

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (unprotected vaginal sex, breath play, slapping, cream pie, mentions of plugging and f receiving oral sex, kinda dom/sub dynamics), established relationship, zero plot, SMUT!! 18+ ONLY!!

A/N: Super short and smutty! Plot just seemed unnecessary for this one, lol.

I am no longer doing taglists so if you want to stay up to date on all the latest filth, follow my sideblog @the-iceni-library and turn on notifications!

“More.” Steve was practically whimpering while he gazed up at you writhing over him, his voice a low rasp as his fingers dug into your hips and guided your movements. “Harder, make me feel it, c’mon cookie.”

“Such a needy boy, Steven.” You grinned when he really did whine at the use of his full name, circling your hips slowly and leaning more of your weight into the hand you had wrapped around his throat. “Can feel that big cock twitch every time I choke you, honey, you’re such a fucking freak.”

He could only nod in response since you were cutting off all his air, wheezing desperately while his face started to go numb as he arched into you. Feeling your cunt and your hand strangling him at the same time may have just been his favorite thing, his eyes rolling back in his skull while he felt it building in his core.

You slapped him and relaxed your grip just enough to let him draw in a shallow breath when you saw him about to pass out, cooing softly when he groaned for you and met your eyes when you started riding him even harder.

“You like this so much, don’t you, baby?” Now Steve couldn’t even nod, his mouth hanging open as he struggled to breathe while you teased him. “Such a big, tough man, but then you turn so dumb once I start to spoil you a little. So goddamn sweet, want you to come for me, Steven, fill my tight little pussy all the way up.”

Steve felt your pussy starting to flutter as you creamed all over his cock and cut off his air again, his fingers squeezing your soft hips while he rolled his body up to meet yours. Feeling you come had him following right after you, like he always did, his dick throbbing and swelling inside you until his cum started spurting against your sensitive walls.

As soon as you had ridden it out you were collapsing on top of him with a satisfied sigh, nuzzling into his neck and laughing softly when his hands slid around you to grab your ass. His eyes were fixed on you when you looked at him, a warm smile splitting his face while you wound your arms around his waist and squeezed.

“You really do spoil me, cookie.” He chuckled and gave your ass a playful slap when you nibbled on his jaw. “Gonna spoil you right back. Where’s that damn plug? Wanna keep that mess inside you so I can eat you for dessert.”

[greypetrel]

30. "I don't know where to put my love" for Raina c:

Oooooh, this was perfect for her, thank you!! (in this I discovered that a baby raccoon is called a kit)

Tis the prompt list

A good punch.

( 4.049 words | CW: blood - mentions of split lips and broken teeth )

So tell me where to put my love Do I wait for time to do what it does? I don't know where to put my love - Florence + the Machine, "My Love"

“I did want to punch him, dad.”

She uttered between her teeth, mumbling on the words because her lips hurt like hell right now. She glared stubbornly at her feet, hand clasped in her father’s and hating every step and how the skirt of her dress kept sticking to her bloody knees. She hated skirts, and she hated the feeling of her hair, long and tangled and dirty, sticking to her cheek. But her mother won’t let her wear breeches for the festival, and won’t let her cut her hair short as she did with Garrett, and she didn’t really understand why.

But, as much as her mother had been the first to find her and drag her away from Bobby Oswald who laid under her and had a black eye and lost his front tooth, and she sharply refused to say a word to explain herself… She couldn’t lie to her father. She didn’t want to lie to him. So, when he barged in, placated the Oswalds and Leandra alike and grabbed her hand to take her away and “Have a good talk, I’m sure she didn’t mean to punch Bobby”… she waited just until they were far from the crowd and told him.

Malcolm looked down at her, raising one eyebrow.

“You want to get me angry as well, young lady?” He asked her, but there was amusement in his voice. That note of amusement that was always there and she craved, right now.

“He called Garrett a freak, and you a failure.”

She confessed, anger still burning hot in her chest and raising tears to her eyes. Malcolm didn’t say anything, but answered in tow as her hand clutched tight on his, in a silent comfort. He didn’t say anything, and just lead her around the corner and deep between the stalls that were installed in the small square in front of the Chantry. People selling food, mainly, trying to earn some extra money during the fair even if they had no cattle to sell and show, no crops to offer. They already visited the stalls, and begged Leandra far and wide for a treat. Their mother had bought her and Garrett a full slice of pumpkin pie each, and the twins a big cookie with nuts and raisins she split in two for the three years olds. And that was it. The rest of the stalls kept being a dream, even if Raina asked and pleaded for some candy floss. It was coloured and it was sweet and it looked fluffy: surely it was good, even if she never tasted it. It was also pricey, and something only the more well to do could afford. Not them. The year hadn’t gone well, and she already had her more healthy treat.

So, she didn’t raise her eyes, pretending not to be interested in the food. Pretending that all those perfumes didn’t make her mouth water and terribly curious to taste everything. She hadn’t been good, her mother made it plenty clear as she yelled at her for starting a brawl and breaking Bobby’s tooth. She didn’t listen when her father stopped and started to chat with someone. She convinced herself she wasn’t interested, and her mind went flying and concentrating on other thoughts, fingers playing nervously with the cloth of her skirt. That was it: she decided to think of all the things she could do with her skirt instead of wearing it.

And yet, when Malcolm pulled gently at her hand to catch her attention, Raina could only gasp, mouth falling open.

He stopped right in front of the candy floss stand, and both him and the vendor were looking at her, expectantly.

“So? Red, purple or yellow?” Malcolm prodded, with a smile.

“But-” She objected, looking between the two men with suspicion. “But mother said-”

“Your mother isn’t here. Or do you wish me to go and call her?” Malcolm winked. “But if you don’t want it…”

“No!” She gasped aloud, and both men chuckled at her. “Red!” She declared, and stopped a while, adding a last, less concitated “Please.”

“Ah, I knew it!” Malcolm exclaimed with a big smile, and turned to the vendor again. “What did I tell you? Did I win a free stick for being such a good father to remember my daughter’s favourite colour?”

In spite of everything, Raina giggled, ignoring how the movement sent a jolt of pain on her split lip, and how she felt wet trailing down her chin from it. As her father winked and insisted a little with a vendor that wasn’t fooled by her father’s wit, she licked the blood away, quickly. It only made the wound bleed more, and she grew irritated by it.

She didn’t mind her father slipping some coins out of his pocket, absent-mindedly greeted the vendor goodbye, and trodded along her father. The more she licked, the more blood it seeped out, and the more she scowled at it. It just wouldn’t stop.

She paid little attention, too focused on stopping the annoying trickle of blood even if it started to hurt, to mind her father quickening his step all so minutely as they passed the Chantry. “Least those nasty Mothers see our treat and come to steal it!” He told her, whispering conspiratively. She nodded along and quickened her steps as much as the legs of a girl of 8 could go, following her father without looking where he was headed.

So focused she was, that when he stopped she bumped right into his leg, so hard it hurt her lip and bruised cheek.

“Ouch!” She yelped, stepping back and pressing a hand on her cheek.

“Shit-” He grumbled, stopping abruptly as he noticed the swear. “Fuck-” He grumbled. “For Andraste’s- Don’t tell your mother. I’m sorry, kit.”

“It’s fine. It doesn’t hurt that bad.”

“Mh.”

He hummed, and left her hand, nodding towards the low stone wall that sided the river. He offered to help her up to sit there, but Raina scoffed, puffing her chest up with pride. Chanting that she was not a kit, she climbed up on her merry self. Bobby’s tooth cut her knuckles something nasty, and even if the bleeding stopped, it hurt when she scraped it against the stone. She bit it down bravely, grunting for that and how sore she was, and complaining because the nasty skirt made climbing unnecessarily difficult. But she managed, rolling on her belly on top of the wall and collecting her limbs on top, so she could kneel and go sit with her legs dwindling on the other side, up the water. Malcolm was much more graceful, and as soon as he was sitting too, she scuttled closer

“Do you want to talk about it?” Malcolm asked, caressing her head.

“No.”

“Raina.”

“He was mean, dad!” She grumbled, crossing her arms on her chest and looking down at the water, legs moving quicker. “He picked on Garrett, he called him a freak and pushed him, and said you are a failure that can’t… I don’t know, he used a weird word. You can’t do something for us, and it’s not true, and so I told him you’re the best dad in the world and to leave my brother alone, and he called me a Bug-eyes and he just didn’t stop.”

A hand came around her back and closed on the opposite shoulder, keeping her still as she thrashed around on the ledge. She shoved him off: she wasn’t a baby, and she wouldn’t fall. She never fell when she climbed, not anymore. Understanding she didn’t want to be touched, now, Malcolm let her speak, listened to her as she kept on with her tale.

“He shouldn’t have said those things, you’re right.” He convened, in the end. “It still doesn’t make it right to punch him, kit. You hurt him pretty badly.”

Raina turned towards him, a deep scowl on her face, and looked in his eyes -the same blue as hers- as she told him, this time lowering her voice.

“He told he was going to call the Templars, dad. That’s when I punched him. And why I’m not sorry.”

She watched as his father’s face darkened, something harsh making his way in his expression. It was his serious face, and Raina knew he understood. He always understood, when her mother never did and only scolded her.

“Maybe he was joking.” He proposed.

“I am still not sorry.” She proudly declared, turning towards the river again. “I don’t want that you and Garrett will be brought away because Bobby is mean and stupid.”

“Punching him isn’t a solution.”

“I bit him, too.”

Malcolm stilled at the news, and as Raina side-glanced at him, she saw him with his free hand on his mouth, covering it as he tried not to laugh. She knew he was scolding her for what she did and he that he was serious, but she snorted too, covering her mouth with both hands.

“Raina, I’m serious.” He scowled at her, but his eyes kept an amused glint.

“But you told me I need to defend my little siblings!”

“I know, kit. But you’re not a raccoon. You’re a person, and people talk.”

“But I tried, dad. I tried to tell him he was mean, but he just didn’t listen. I didn’t know what else to do.”

“Come here.”

He sighed, and pulled her closer to his side. More prone to be touched, right now, she let him, and turned to hug his bust, pressing her face in his side. He put the fancy waistcoat, the one he only wore for special occasions, and it was rough against her sensible skin. But it was warm and comforting enough, it smelled like the lavender pouches her mother kept in the wardrobes, and she didn’t mind that she was probably staining it. The comfort provided was more important, and the way he kept her close by her shoulder, rubbing circles with his thumb.

“Do you still love me?”

“Of course, kit, what makes you think I don’t?”

“Mom was very angry. Mom loves Garrett best.”

He sighed, heavily. It wasn’t the first time the topic came up, and it always made Raina cry. This time was no different, and she clutched on her father tighter.

“I do love you, kit. Very much. Your mother does too, I swear. Quite a lot. She gets angry because you’re always getting into trouble and she worries.”

“But she told me I had to be a good sister and protect my siblings!”

“I don’t think she meant getting into a brawl and splitting your lip open. That’s what she worries about.” Malcolm explained, gently pushing the child away from him enough so he could see her face. “Let me see.”

Her lip indeed left a stain on his waistcoat, darker than the grey wool it was made of. He paid it no mind, and didn’t let Raina either, gently pushing her face up towards his. She sniffed and blinked tears away from her eyes, putting up a brave face. She was 8, she was too old for crying, and she stood straight, offering herself for the careful examination like a big, brave girl. Stupid tears couldn’t really stop, but she did her very best. He gently pushed on her cheekbone with his thumb, and apologized when the pressure made her flinch. And rubbed her lower lip, without using any magic. Even with some pressure -and she was ready this time, she just scrunched her nose and eyes- the bleeding didn’t stop, and Malcolm huffed at it.

“We should really think of something better than punching, for you.” He grumbled, fishing his handkerchief from a pocket and dabbing her lip with it. “Defending the people you love is great and commendable kit, and I’m so proud that you jumped to it and that you stood up to your choices.”

A pause.

“Don’t tell your mother I told you so.” He casted her a look, but his eyes were still amused. “I am very, very disappointed you shut up the most annoying kid in the village, I’m absolutely appalled that you punched and bit him and kicked him, and I expect you to be very contrite and remorseful when we get back, ok?”

He winked at her, and she giggled, nodding enthusiastically. She took the handkerchief and kept on dabbing her mouth herself, heart lighter as her father huffed in satisfaction. As she did, with her feet kicking the air before her, alternatively pushing on the stone and skipping forward, she saw Malcolm ripping a piece of cotton candy, finally, and look at it, considering.

“My point is, you have all this love… We need to find a way to use it better than punching people that offend it, tho. Somewhere to put it.”

“Like a closet?”

He chuckled, and offered her the sugar. Raina looked at it, unsure, and at her father. When he nodded in encouragement, she was quick in picking the piece up and bring it to her mouth. It was sweet and crinkled under her teeth before quickly melting in the most thrilling way, and it was the most delicious thing she ever ate. Of course, it was red. Red things were the best. It made Malcolm chuckle more, as he too took a bite.

“We can try and put it in a closet, but closets get full so easily. We need to try something else.”

“Like what?”

She asked, not fully understanding his words, and how love could be stored or put somewhere rather than somewhere else. She shrugged it off, tho, not wanting him to think she was too little and didn’t understand a grown-up concept. She was the eldest and she was big, after all, even if Garrett had magic and that could maybe made up for a year less. She just stretched her arm, fingers sticky with sugar, to take another piece of the candy.

“I don’t know. Hug puppies. Take care of animals. Knit. Count to a hundred before you act. Run in the morning so you’re tired during the day and your love doesn’t burst. Let the bullies run after you until they trip and fall by themselves and you can keep clean. Insult them without them knowing.”

Raina considered, with her mouth full of sugar.

“So mom won’t get worried?”

Malcolm turned and poked her ribcage, annoyingly enough, and again until she turned to bat his hand away, laughing because it tickled. He laughed with her, and waited enough for her to stop thrashing -she did so much that he had to catch her by the shoulder lest she fell into the river. When it was done, he was there, a smile on his face and a look that was really serious in his eyes.

“So we all won’t get worried.” He told her, in his serious voice that meant what he told was important and she should listen.

She nodded and jumped forward, hugging him tight.

“I am sorry I got you worried, dad.” She told him, drowned as she was in his chest.

He caressed her hair, and right then, the world was good and she didn’t feel the urge to move somehow, to bounce her leg or play with her hands.

“It’s fine, kit.” He sighed, relaxing minutely. “Just keep in mind that if you put your love into punches, people you love won’t be happy, they will be worried. Ok?”

Raina considered. It made sense, even if the concept of love was still a little weird and abstract.

“… But what if I don’t let them punch me back?”

“Raina-”

---

Something less than twenty years later, a lifetime distant from that afternoon in Greenfell, Raina kept considering that day on the stream, eating red candy they couldn’t afford with her father.

She stepped forward, turning her daggers in her hands, bending her neck left and right quickly to warm up and get ready. Her heart beat hard and fast in her ears, in anticipation and, partly, fear. On the other hand, only an idiot wouldn’t have been afraid, in her place, to be doing what she was about to do. Maybe she was not as scared as she should have been.

It wasn’t the time to reason, tho, or to consider any better. She took her father’s words to heart, and had been mindful to put her love to good use. Ironically enough, she learnt to talk and outwit people, and she took up knitting and adopted a dog. And she stopped throwing punches so often, because she learnt to wield daggers.

She stepped forward in the throne room, bouncing from one foot to the other, turning fear into adrenaline and not thinking that she most likely chose the stupidest place to put her love. And yet, she kept her chin up, back straight, and looked the Arishok right in his eyes with a challenge.

Her love went into a city that didn’t love her, into a mother and Carver who both lied six feet under, Bethany in the Circle and Garrett that was about to be brought there too, since the Knight-Commander saw him. Her love went into a mismatched rag-tag groups of misfits, just like her. Her love went into them and into fucking things up for them and with them.

She put her love into turning her back to Merrill, screaming for her and beating her hands against the bars that closed the Alienage for the invasion. She put her love into keeping her safe, because after what she did, after taking advantage of her in such a way and leaving her as she did, that was all she could do to her. Perhaps it would have mildened her memory for the elf. Not that she would have been there to see.

She put her love, lastly and firstly and more stupidly, into a woman that didn’t want it, that told her from the start that she didn’t, but that had it anyway.

She put her love in Isabela and into a duel she couldn’t win, and she cared not for anything else. Kirkwall could go fuck itself: if it weren’t for Bela, she would have left it to the Qun and see if the Arishok could have found her a spot she could finally fit in.

She clutched her hands tighter on the hilts of the daggers, feeling the supple leather of her father’s gloves pressing on her skin. She wondered what he would have thought, and if he would still be proud of her. She guessed she was about to find out.

“Raina, please-”

She heard Garrett from behind. He was the only one, now, to call her by her name, and it was too little. She wasn’t a Hawke: Hawke had been her father, and she made a treasure of his words, she missed him like air, and she stubbornly decided that he was right, but not always.

Some people really needed a good punch.