#just some thoughts i had today
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When did Astarion catch feelings?
This is a question I've been mulling over for a while and I have some thoughts. (Disclaimer: These are my own musings and are in no way a definitive answer. People can choose the answer that best fits them.) I was mulling over the scene with Astarion in Act 2 where he explains his initial intentions in seducing Tav/Durge and how his "nice simple plan" fell apart when he fell for the main character. Then I thought "Well... when exactly did things change for him?" It's not so obvious to differentiate his manipulations from his genuine feelings by that point. Then, I remembered his second proposition. The one that cuts to black. I started ruminating over why he asked for a second time and what his motivations might have been. After all, I'm not sure that he needed to sleep with Tav/Durge again for his purposes. He could have held out and dangled sex over them like piece of string to tease a cat with. He didn't have to put out. Baring in mind this is a man who hasn't slept with a lover more than once in over 200 years. I think he did it instinctively, but it was during this second experience that he realised it felt different both times. He even says during the conversation in Act 2 that yes, it felt different with Tav/Durge and that was part of the issue. The issue being that he'd done what he'd always done before... manipulated the player into having sex with him. He'd betrayed them and he'd done it because it was easy. I can just imagine the little seedlings of doubt sprouting after the first time, only to fully blossom after the second. I can imagine Astarion laying on his back after the encounter, staring up at the sky and thinking "Shit." It did feel different this time because this time he feels guilt. Guilt was probably a feeling he compartmentalized and gave up on a long time ago. Probably right after the time he was tortured and locked away for a year after letting a victim escape. And then him finally coming to the conclusion he feels guilty because he genuinely cares for Tav/Durge. The act of sex with them wasn't triggering because of the sex, but because he'd manipulated them into it. He'd not propositioned them with good intentions and that hits him like a stake to the heart because if anyone deserved sincerity, it was them. All this to say, I like to think Astarion realised his true feelings for the player during their second sexual encounter, but it takes him a while to come to terms with he fact that his first instinct was the manipulate this wonderful person he adores so much.
#astarion#baldur's gate 3#bg3#astarion ancunin#tav x astarion#durge x astarion#just some thoughts I had today#not sure if this even makes sense in writing but I don't have the energy to proof read lol
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thinking about how lucy and lockwood's working relationship (in the books) is defined by a couple of things:
- lockwood is a highly effective leader and agent, which lucy deeply admires
- her admiration leads her to want to be friends with him. however lockwood's ability to develop friendships beyond surface level is massively stunted by the level of personal loss he's suffered
- lucy is uniquely talented and her talent drives her to interact with ghosts in new ways which can often resolve hauntings more meaningfully. lockwood doesn't necessarily value this - he values efficiency over innovation, in the name of raising his agency's profile as fast as possible (except for when it suits him, ie is good for publicity)
- lucy's talent is a giant double-edged sword because it involves a certain level of exposure which can be dangerous, and it also makes her vulnerable to manipulation by ghosts (both in terms of her connection to them and her emotional state). lockwood feels responsible for this, and he also doesn't think she's balancing her responsibility as an agent well with what she sees as her responsibility to explore her capabilities (which is fair)
- lucy is susceptible to lockwood's charm, which he is aware of and sometimes uses to get his own way
#just some thoughts i had today#i love that it's complex! there's layers to it! that's really important imo#it's an interestingly unequal relationship in lots of ways#lucy's view of lockwood is a lot simpler than his view of her#informed by the fact that they are both sort of mavericks but because lockwood is being innovative in some ways (running an independent#agency with no supervisors) he has to play by the book in others#and lucy is guided by her talent to be innovative in ways he therefore sees as unhelpful#lockwood and co#locklyle#my posts
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Preaching is nice and spiritual testimony is nice but all of that only moves the needle 1%. It has a 1% impact on the spiritual journey of the people listening. Words are just words. There's not much difference between a sermon and a wolf's howl and a buzzing bee.
Real spiritual growth either happens or doesn't happen. But whether or not you grow spiritually has no correlation with how many times you talk about god each day.
#just some thoughts i had today#also i have so many lovely asks in my inbox!!! and i want to share my thoughts about my old basketball ladies#but i haven't got around to it yet oops
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Today’s Bird is: this pair of Eurasian Griffon Vultures (Gyps fulvus)!
#submission#todays bird#bird#birblr#for anyone curious- they’re both rescues !! they were both brought into this rescues care at a p young age#as they had previously been raised in poor captivity#Arin is the one with one wing ! unfortunately his wing had to be amputated - but fortunately that saved his life! hes now a permanent#resident of the rescue :)!! the other fella just prefers to loaf - not 100% sure why some vulture loaf like that but I’ve seen some do it i#the wild too so ? im assuming it indicates being relaxed or digesting after a meal but I’m not sure exactly what this behavior indicates (i#anything !) so if anyone reading these tags knows / has any thoughts I’d love to hear <33!!#and pictures here are their temp enclosure while their permanent living space is being cleaned !#vulture#griffon vulture
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("Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this." -- paraphrased from The Beatrice Letters, Lemony Snicket)
#svsss#bingqiu#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#lbh#sqq#i've been working through the series of unfortunate events and somehow that series has paired really nicely with svsss#the themes of cycling violence and what's justified and what isn't and what can possibly be done differently#and how trying to bring love and honour into the midst of it really changes nothing but also changes everything#it's just *chef's kiss*#i don't know how i can quite do my thoughts justice but i've spent the past few weeks quietly going between the two series (and mdzs and tg#as well if we're being honest they all hit similar questions and themes) and just reveling in the pain and ambiguity of it#everything is interconnected and it means you can never know what trauma and pain and necessity has shaped a person#each story goes too far back to ever ever EVER possibly see the full extent of it#at that level even communication itself is nearly impossible.#and because of that it's almost impossible to change anything. beat yourself apart and the outcome is the same#and yet ATTEMPTING to change things ATTEMPTING to do the kind thing the honourable thing is absolutely critical#because while you can change nothing you also have the capacity to change EVERYTHING#aaaaaaah i don't even know what i'm saying#but i read the beatrice letters today and the love letter just. killed me.#(obviously i cherrypicked some lines because it's three pages long but those ones felt right)#''i love you like a corpse loves a vulture's beak'' i just. can't get over that line.#to be completely changed. altered. destroyed. redeemed. purified. desecrated. reduced to nothing yet entirely necessary for another's life.#what a FUCKING line#anyway i was either going to blow up from thinking about it or else i had to exorcise it via art from an entirely different series#i've already done svsss and discworld why not throw a series of unfortunate events into the mix#i'll be honest folks i did not expect svsss to be the mxtx series that would fuck me up the most about the main ship#bingqiu is something else. i don't even know how to begin to approach my feelings on it. impossibility and necessity all at once#bizarre#my art
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one thing about ik is that she will always reach out
#obey me#art#i had the idea for this and managed to bulldoze through drawing it all without losing motivation halfway through#but Do Not expect me to post art this frequently in future#idk how to do panels so if the middle bit with the text might be laid out weird#i added the stars and feathers and stuff because there was a bunch of empty space around the boxes#obey me satan#jtta ik#(btw the crumbling symbol next to the exploding feather is the wrath symbol from in-game)#(with the pride symbol attached upside down at the bottom)#(not so much symbolism as it is just me whacking you over the head with the point but it looks cool)#i had a lot of fun doing satan's more monstrous design so i might try my hand at some of the other demons later?#i do have some ideas for levi (deep sea creatures are just really fun)#also happy nightbringer release day!! it showed up on my homescreen like half an hour ago and i was like “wait what”#for some reason i thought it wasn't releasing til next week??#the new genshin patch is today as well so looks like i'll have plenty to do with the rest of my free time for the easter hols#(i promise i'm also working on the next chapter of jtta but i am so stuck on how to get lucifer actually Talking)#anyway. here's a gold star for making it through all my rambling in the tags for anyone who did so: ⭐
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Asena is perfectly comfortable with nonsexual nudity (you kind of have to be as a werewolf, the clothes don’t come with), but seeing a chance to make Gale blush activates her prey drive.
#bg3 fanart#bg3 gale#baldur's gate 3#gale of waterdeep#gale dekarios#bg3 comic#bg3 tav#gale x tav#oc: asena#saw Gale at the renn faire today which was funny cause for some reason I was really suspecting I might#no other Baldur’s Gate cosplays just Gale#changing Asena to a monk really helped me with reasoning out her magic werewolf tattoos#don’t @ me if I’ve missed some glaring Forgotten Realms lore for why this would be stupid I tried to do my research#Asena claims her tattoos absorb and store moonlight to trigger shifting whenever#and that’s why occasionally she’d run around naked at night#but she might just do that for fun anyways#especially since she can’t actually use them during the timeframe of the game#I had a thought that some of the line work is actually incredibly tiny script#Gale gets distracted trying to decipher it (it’s in sylvan)#Asena props herself up on her elbows and is like ‘excuse me you are not down there to read my thighs’
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MDZS x ISAT part 1: In Stars and Necromancy.
(Part 2)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#MDZS AU#In stars and time#ISAT#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Double comic feature for today because they are both small.#I had a hard time coming up with a good crossover for these two series for a while but once the idea hit - Boy did it hit!#I've got a longer comic coming. The angst potential is very...very good.#Ghost YLLZ helping out mxy was painful enough but I can make it so much worse for everyone.#I can't say much without crossing into spoiler territory but I will be back.#Other notes here: LWJ is rock type. WWX/MXY are paper type. Thought it fit well B*)#YLLZ in the starry bath is 100% a reference to Eris in the sinbad movie. Her hair animation still haunts my dreams.#I'll have some 'other side of the crossover' doodles after posting a few more main comic pages. Thanks for the patience this week!#I really needed to just...draw some very self-indulgent art. I'm feeling much better now though!
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Dpxdc 178
Just a fun little thought. Danny has a black lantern ring following him. I mean he was? Is?dead. Even if he has already essentially re animated himself in a sense.
Ellie has the white ring following her around for fun. Plus that feels fitting with how the ectoplasm brought her to life. She skipped the whole dying part.
Neither of them have any plans to touch them. Who knows what it will do to them. A sword from the realm can send people to there worst nightmares with a single touch. Nope. No touching random glowing objects ever again.
I can imagine them touching something and it going wrong at least once. Knowing Danny and Ellie. Probably more like at least 10 times before it sunk in. So they now know. Just don’t. No touching for them.
#dpxdc#dpxdc prompt#dpxdc crossover#like the ring could see Danny as dead#him showing up in front of his family dead would be something#but he’s already alive kinda#Danny knows not to touch stuff#he had learned his lesson#wierd glowing ring nope#not today#plus i think it would be funny to see some of the lanterns thought about this#Danny and Ellie meet up at least once of month and both just don’t talk about the rings
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⊹˚. ♡ true beauty
──★ ˙ ̟🎀 what being kind does to you
heightened self esteem
increase empathy and compassion
tend to be healthier in all areas
helps form new relationships
better mental health
decrease blood pressure and cortisol
increase serotonin, dopamine & oxytocin
contrary to popular belief kindness is not something that should be overlooked. we've been taught to be kind hundreds of times and yet some of us never actually do it.
one epiphany i've had recently is that humans are such bigoted creatures. we think we have the right to do whatever we like just because we're the dominant species on this earth. we are top of the biological hierarchy, so therefore we have the right to do whatever we like.
another thing i've found is that that fact often bleeds into people's attitudes. people are so fucking rude nowadays honestly. maybe it's the fact i live in england, maybe it's the fact people are so entitled in this day and age they think they can do whatever they like to everything and everyone with no repercussions, but kindness seems scarce nowadays.
how is food made? by the people who take their time to make it for you, be it your local supermarket or your loved ones slaving away in the kitchen all day.
how do we sleep? because we care enough about ourselves to make sure we get rest to be energised and refreshed the next day and for the days to come.
how do we have clothes on our back? because people care enough to weave pieces of fabric together just so we aren't walking around bare and naked every day.
you want to become more likeable? be sweet. be kind. don't sacrifice yourself for anybody, but take the time out of your day to do something for someone. it will make their day i promise, even if it doesn't then you've still made yourself happy 😭 ♡
🐰𓂃 ࣪˖ little kind things you can do
send a letter to someone
bake or make something for someone
compliment someone every day
have a clear out and donate to charity
smile at everyone and anyone
greet someone you might see often but don't really talk to
promote a friend's work
get someone to go on a spontaneous adventure with you!!!
hide a list of things you love about someone in their things if you're too shy to just give it to them
offer to take someone's photo if they're struggling like a couple or a family
do something sweet for your neighbours
learn how to say hello in multiple different languages
encourage and listen to someone even if you don't know them that well
talk to someone who looks lonely and chat with them, don't leave them out
make something random for someone who was nice to you for no reason
sit down and have a chat with someone struggling with homelessness
put a surprise note or cute drawing on someone's desk or workplace
we are so sweet at heart!!! everything we know is born from love!!! everyone is born good!!! it's only circumstances that make people stray from that.
please don't stop giving, please don't stop caring, please don't stop loving with your whole heart; hold the door open for someone, give someone something, smile at someone, pet an animal, do something just to bring joy and love into the world a little more. the world is filled with so many people who have strayed from the path of innocence and we need those people back.
to have a kind heart is to be beautiful. true beauty is not found in the skin, but in the mind. the more you give, the more you love, the more you learn, the more you smile, the more you enjoy, that is what makes the world beautiful, and that is what makes you beautiful <3
the most beautiful people are always the kindhearted ones who will live the most and make the most out of their lives. love is the only thing that holds this world together. please don't stop giving it, ever; it is the most beautiful thing this world has to offer
all my love 🫶💝
#it girlism ୨𖹭୧#half rant half girly post today!!!#had some thoughts#so i thought id give them to u for ur viewing pleasure#pink pilates princess#girlblogging#it girl#wonyoungism#girlhood#girly tumblr#this is what makes us girls#im just a girl#girly stuff#dream girl#dream life#mental heath awareness#mental health support#mental illness#mental health#girl things#girl thoughts#song jia#thewizardliz#girlcore#self care#self growth#self love#self improvement#kindness#beauty
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thinking about mating press with beefy!bucky. all that weight on top of you, knowing for certain he’s about to breed you?? ughhh
Oh God yes, the thought of this makes me fucking purr 🤤
Just the thought of his thick, slightly curved cock sliding as deep inside as you can take. The feeling of his tip rubbing against your cervix before he withdraws, pulling almost entirely out of you before he glides back in again.
"Good girl, 'm so proud of you. Cum nice and hard for me, I've got you. You're safe." He holds you so close, letting you sob your pleasure against his neck while he works you through another orgasm. It's tender and romantic and loving and you're beyond aware that this man makes you insanely wet.
Your thighs are still trembling as you come down from your high. Each thrust now feels like it's almost too much but with the way Bucky's groaning, he might not be able to keep it up for much longer.
"Fuck, you feel like Heaven. This pretty little pussy was made for me. Made to be mine." His thrusts are punishing but it's an addictive feeling. "I'm going to fill you. I'm not going to pull out. Going to give you a baby."
You're almost surprised how badly you want that but it's very hard to find the words to tell him; not when his thrusts are beginning to stutter and his high seems to get closer and closer.
"I'm going to fuck a baby into you." His hand holds your chin, making sure he can see your eyes. The evidence of pleasure written all over his face might've been enough to convince you that you could handle another orgasm but you'll still not quite sure that's a good idea.
Within a few more seconds, his cock is throbbing inside you, shooting stripes of hot, thick cum right against your cervix. He looks entirely content with his decision, pressing as deep as he can so you can feel him pulse and twitch.
There's not much you need to say to each other for a few seconds. Instead, it's nice to just listen to you both trying to catch your breath while your partner floods your waiting, fluttering sex with his cum.
#asks answered <3#becca writes spice#beefy!bucky#beefy!bucky smut#the sleepies have hit me hard this week#I had a really productive day today though#Washed and dried all my new tableware and assigned it a cupboard to live in#Had a lovely afternoon just listening to some Hozier and getting my kitchen looking nice#I've had this one really filthy thought that I might just have to find the time to write this week
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Sometimes I have a man..... living in my brain...... who is so so beautiful................
#vinicio.......................#vtm#vtm oc#vampire the masquerade#oc.vince#sleepyscribble#this was an old sketch I tried to salvage and turn into Something#I have a lot of sketches of him in my folder that never saw the light of day bc I just wasn't happy w how they turned out#or thought they were too plain#but now I'm glad I didn't delete them cnjfkfkf it's fun to go back and rework stuff after some time#I also really wanted to draw him today but I had no idea like. how exactly#so this one old sketch saved me <3
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Summon Night: Swordcraft Story (ATLUS, 2003)
#my actual posts lol#haha what if i made a daily diary post thing like nico#..i was just thinking#today was a good day#and i thought of this song#ive been playing summon night swordcraft story a lot as of late.. though none today actually#its still on my mind though#i considered using dweller empty path's song flying through a stary sky instead.. but this is what i thought of first#i think it fits best to use it#i actually had to jump through some hoops to upload music!#cus my tumblr app is kinda old.. i cant properly upload music. i could only put a link#which isnt exactly ideal#so i tried in my web browser.. but maybe its cus i havent updated it in a while or maybe just cus its tor.. it didnt work#so i downloaded firefox and did it on there lol#now im editing it in my drafts back on the app#dont ask why im not just doing it on my computer... shes having some technical difficulties. we're working on it#but not today#...#today was pretty eventful.. even if not very productive. but ive never been a very productive person#we went and saw some light festival thing! it was rly nice.. a little simple at times but it was fun#we went and got some yummy snacks earlier too! tho ive already eaten them all hehe#and i started up animal crossing new leaf. i hadnt played it in ages! its startling how much better it is than new horizions.. imo at least#only problem is i couldnt make it the same as my island.. and i didnt remember why i named my last town#we searched for a while for some reference or somfin to name it after.. but we ended up just going with ''faraway''#cus i liked the idea of being asked where im going.. and just saying far far away#and as beth said it has a kinda fairytail vibe!#...only after i named it did i realize i accidentally named it after the town in omori. oops!#...im about to hit the tag limit. so whoevers still listening i just want u to know..#i love you. ok?#goodnight
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Daniel Ricciardo and Max Verstappen in Tokyo ahead of the 2016 Japanese GP | x
#max verstappen#daniel ricciardo#autumn posts#filing under things that are just new to me#escaping the dread for a moment with making some little gifs#thinking of everyone today#I've been numb with dread but I've been thinking of that Justin Mc Elroy quote like I'll keep doing good and no one can vote on that#I'll keep helping and supporting my friends and community and taking care of myself too#and one of those ways will be momentary escapes here in F1blr#I won't ramble too much but I'm just so heartbroken and dissapointed ... I had such hope#but we'll keep going and keep being strong ❤️ or I keep telling myself that!!#I gotta get back to the office#but sending everyone lots of energy and good thoughts and thank you for this space to get away and feel better for a little moment#have a restful day night and morning ahead 🏙️🌃🌆#be back soon!!#mentally will be at Daniel singing in the car and Max vibing along with him#maxiel hours in my heart only always
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How much do you think Arthur is seen walking to whatever new horrorTM they’re about to witness, his hands clasped together in front of him. How often do you think he gently takes Johns hand and rubs his thumb against Johns, or lightly fiddles with the wooden pinky. How it at first started off as a nervous tick. In those quiet moments where there is no imminent danger, he still can’t help but be alert. Constantly moving, ready to bolt the second John sees danger. How yes, at first the hand fidgeting was because of anxiety, but now he does it because John started fidgeting back. How John will now reach for Arthur’s hand and lace their fingers together in those rare peaceful moments, grounding not only Arthur but himself. A reassurance that it’s safe right now, they’re safe.
#just some rambling thoughts I had at work today#this latest episode has me in shambles If you can’t tell#malevolent#malevolent podcast#arthur lester#john doe#john doe malevolent#malevolent spoilers#arthur lester malevolent#jarthur#this can be read as platonic or romantic ❤️ bc we fuck with both options in this household
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i do still (occasionally) (also when keith mentions it) think about how noone really interacted with phrygian much outside of their humanoid shape much (room, place, objects etc), and when they did it usually went with a general sense of that being so strange / weird / kind of offputting. and of course part of it is that it's jokes from the cast & saying things like 'i don't want to party inside of you' are just kind of funny, i guess*, and on the other hand (watsonian) i can buy it from the characters who were raised with/under anti-branched propaganda, HOWEVER
Get over it!! Get over it!!!!! Skill‼️ Issue‼️
#/i/ wouldve eaten cereal OR take a nap! whatever!!!!!!#valence wouldve been cool. they wouldve been CHILL i firmly believe this i have to#also thisbe excluded but only just so. posthumous mention of phrygian cereal box appreciation. and I LIKED that moment i really did#theres also some other offhand mentions i think but this is just what i thought abtwhile on my walk today. i didnt look shit up#palisadeposting#palisade spoilers#whatever its so old at this point.still#this like unintentionally (i have to assume.) makes me sad abt phrygian in a different way than usual. which ill take I GUESS but yknow#they just didnt fw the branched (or rather the one branched person they knew) . why#‼️#wait i forgot about the asterisk up there uhm#*some of them.#i had more to say there but i forgot just some of them
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