#just some sh i wanna say
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seaadc · 10 months ago
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someone had requested me to do migraine but instead of childe, they said neuvillette.
which is honestly perfect omfg?? I HAVE A DRAFT THAT I WAS TOO BORED TO FINISH AND ITS ANGST (as always) ITS AB NEUVI & READER LEISKabjs
ig im continuing it then !! ily anon whoever u r /p
(srry for my rambling im just excited XD)
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mechazushi · 1 month ago
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It's FINISHED!!!!!
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TA-DAAAAA!!!!
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AND I MADE HIS *SS GLOW IN THE DARK!!!!!!!
So what possessed me to make this was that I went into a comic shop that me and my dad stop at when we get the chance because it's a little out of the way and as I'm at the counter paying for my manga haul that I managed to get away with, I look at the counter and buried under some candy was these Kaiju Number 8 stickers! They had the whole set and it was the only ones that they had, but they were 5 bucks a piece. I spent, like, a whole 30 seconds debating if I wanted to tack on another 30 bucks onto an already expensive haul before my brain went, "Uh, you can't break up a set, dumb*ss." So I ended up bying them anyway 🤣
I then ended up with Sticker Indecision (tm) and I couldn't commit to placing them anywhere. My laptop is already full, and my journal that I have for DnD is getting there + the stickers are kinda big so I don't think I could have fitted them on there anyway. I almost contemplated putting them on the side of my bookcase that faces my bed which led me to the bright idea to be an overdramatic idiot and make a WHOLE *SS TAPESTRY to house these stickers.
Sooooo..... yeah. My family thinks I'm insane now.
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james-spooky · 2 months ago
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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kimetsu-chan · 4 months ago
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I don’t think I should be allowed to move out lol
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transfemzedaph · 3 months ago
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i am. thinking.
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bitchy-peachy · 4 months ago
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Blocked a bunch of racist bitches.
I feel at peace.
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idiosyncraticrednebula · 1 year ago
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Just because a woman has the ability to give birth, it doesn't automatically mean that she is gonna be a good mother, and the way I've seen a LOT of mothers act and what they say """""jOkiNgLy""""" online proves that point.
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airbenderedacted · 1 year ago
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NO YOU NOTICE IT TOO???? EVERY NICE/OPTIMISTIC CHARACTER IS ALWAYS HEADCANONED AS PAN QND I??? HUH????? Not that there's anything wrong with being pan, I'm mspec myself, but it's ALWAYS the happy go lucky characters and I??? 😭
IT'S,,,.,...,.
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#mango-mya#like ig i wanna cut some slack to the very young kids who're doing it bc they're still learning and figuring things out and uhhh yeah#they're gravitating to what makes sense to them n i think lots of them dont have the concept of sexuality fully separated from personalty-#-in their heads yet. bc character tropes and flanderizations and stereotypes are easier to ''get''#so tl;dr it's easier for them to get p submerged in stereotypes bc they're still new to everything n stereotypes r by definition Everywhere#it doesnt make it less Not Great & they do need to learn better but ik it's not done w like. malice / willful ignorance (mmost of the time)#BUT OLDER FOLKS........ GROWN PEOPLE PERPETUATING THIS STUFF.............. MASSIVE MASSIVE SIDE-EYE. BC WHHY R U STILL THINKING THIS STUFF!#the lack of self-reflection is NOT it 😔‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#IT'S LITERALLY JUST ABT ATTRACTION SO WHY ARE U OUT HERE THINKING THAT SWEETER/NICER = NO GENDER PREFERENCES??!? NO!!!!!#THAT SAYS REALLY BACKHANDED THINGS ABT PEOPLE WHO ARE GAY/LESBIAN/STRAIGHT (& ARO/ACE EVEN) !!!!!! OUGHGFGFYGFHHGHGGHHh#ofc you can be a kid & maliciously internalize shitty things like that too but imho the older/experienced you are the more likely this is#w/ age comes wisdom and all that. MASSIVE alarm bells if someone thinks these things and has been around queer communities a lot#atp that's a sign of it being kiNDA DELIBERATE ourgh#and yea the inverse is true to certain degrees. you can be older but super new & ignorant abt lgbt+ stuff but uh. in this specific case..#a lot of it is just...... bro... all you have to do is think a little. just a little. abt why niceness =/= sexuality. willfully ignorant sh#blaaagh#OH! And ofc: there's nothing INHERENTLY wrong w/ hcing characters like this as pan / etc.#you can make lgbt+ hcs influenced by personality ofc - it IS kinda best to lowkey Not but ykw it depends on how you're going abt it!!!#(*cough* LEAVE NICENESS/FRIENDLINESS OUT OF IT 😀🙏)#& it's not bad & evil for a character to fit some ~~stereotypes~~ bc those fr aren't always a bad thing!! sometimes it's legit commonalitie#but if stereotypes are ALL you ever do... if you knee-jerk leap onto WEIRD/NASTY stereotypes... if you base sexuality on niceness/goodness.#YUEAH THAT IS NOT FUCKING GOOD AND SOME SELF-REFLECTION NEEDS TO BE HAD... LIKE BOATLOADS OF SELF-REFLECTION NEEDS TO BE HAD#and really any time you're looking to a charcater's personality to come up w/ ur hcs...#(which will probably be often bc honestly what influences hcs in general more than that?)#just take a second to ask yourself if you're tapping into any personal biases/misconceptions/alladat !!#most of the time it isn't a question of ''would this look wrong?'' but rather just ''am i looking at this wrong?''#sexuality is just who you have the hots for!!!! not how kindly or wholesome or open you are! (that's just action/expression not orientation#(´・ω・`) 👍👍#.......sorry i rambled so much here. i'm on my meds today 😅#my brain has too many thoughts in it and things to say like Always aohgbhbvsfs
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faaun · 1 year ago
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im actually becoming a littol bit annoyed by smn 😭
#we are on a camping trip and im having sm fun and i love her sm but mein gott#basically she talked abt her boyfriend a lottt like right from the start of the trip from the car#and i thought it was like. yay bonding time. shes telling us abt her loving healthy relationship#and then it kept going to the point where eveey convo literally every single convo is abt her bf and yow great he is#at first it was sweet but now its like i cannot open my mouth without her being like. yeah my bf us xyz like in legit not#exaggerating its every single convo. like it is becoming absurd atp im rly happy for her but...what abt like#hobbies and like...the convo were having#and ar first i was gen happy bc i gwt the feeling of being in a healthy relationship but some of the stuff she says is quite concerning too#like we were all talking abt our insecurities and stuff and it was quite a deep/intimate convo and one of my friends#shared how he feels bad bc hes underweight etc and she was like. since being w him i feel great abt my body#but rhis happens so often#w any other topic. i cant even bring up my own relationship without it becoming and her bf like . he does that but Better#like me being like i love cooking tgth w my gf and her being like. ive never even cooked bc he cooks for me all the time. etc etc#bro one time i shared an insecurity shared an insecurity i had abt my relationship and her immediate response was abt how they dont have#that issue bc hes so great. it gets concer ing too bc she says stuff abt . like. bc of him i dont sh bc of him im not depressed bc of him#bc of him i feel worthy etc etc...also oversharing stuff abt his ...like genetalia that im like idk if hed want us to know all this#anyway no one has said anything and im afraid im delusional..or like its acc sweet and im just not being nice etc#which yeah it is sweet but in the length of me typing this out she has made 5 (five) comments abt her bf it is non stop no other#topic of convo . i dont wanna rain on her joy either bc i get it but omg 😭 every#single conversation...
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ohmybitna · 2 years ago
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what kind of disgusting men does gmmtv hire????? i feel sick lately listening to some of them talk and since everyone is friends with each other i doubt most of them have different views by the way they laugh at those sick comments their coworkers/friends make. makes it REALLY difficult to enjoy the shows gmm puts out
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elytrafemme · 2 years ago
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the vast majority of the reason why i’ve abstained from getting a professional diagnosis is practical-- i already have a therapist (she just doesn’t like to diagnose, it’s not part of her practice but within her qualifications). it would fuck up my insurance in the long-term and complicate other systemic processes. i don’t need medication nor do i need accommodations so having a diagnosis wouldn’t really help me. it opens the floor to traumatic experiences, will likely cost a lot of money, and would again be trapped on my record for years upon years. 
but jesus christ, i wish i had half the confidence that other people can have with self-diagnosis. because even if i have my therapist basically stating that she thinks bpd explains several of my symptoms, and having said that the best way to explain my experiences to other people is by using bpd as a reference, i still cannot wholly convince myself that this is the issue. and i have researched for years and years so it isn’t that, i just. i need someone to look me in the eyes and tell me but if i get that, i get the rest of this too.
#nightmare.personal#it's also hard with BPD because. and i'm not saying this in a way of like ohhh haha it wasn't that bad [was objectively awful]#my childhood by any objective measurement Was Not Terrible#like yeah i have disorganized attachment patterns but that's iffy. it was non-abusive. things weren't great but they were damn good.#stuff just got messy once i turned eleven but by then you're basically old enough for that to not matter as much#but even then like. things are consistently Not Horrible for me i have lived a remarkably lucky life#and like there's the missing puzzle piece of it all but i'm beginning to suspect that whatever i imagine i repressed never truly happened#and if it did it wouldn't matter i'm never going to remember. so the point is like#yes the symptoms track yes it is the best explanation i've found to this#but there are still holes in this diagnosis and i'm never going to feel secure in it#and i'm exhausted and i just want to know that i have some kind of explanation#because even if it causes people to treat me kind of shitty at least they know why i act like this#but if that's not the right explanation and i have to go back to square one#having no kind of reasoning behind why i act so uncharacteristic very suddenly or why i get really hostile apropos of nothing#and then send you texts threatening sh before messaging again like hey do u wanna see this funny video#getting into relationships and treating them icily before jumping in so deep that they become my everything#i can't go back to the time where there was nothing to explain it. where people just didn't know why i acted like this#but i don't know if i've reached an actual explanation or if i'm just desperately searching for anything to fix this#and if anyone could tell me objectively in a way that i believed. that might destroy me but it could also fix this#neg#God i'm exhausted
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seventh-district · 2 years ago
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CW: talkin’ about my scars and the experience of having blood drawn
oh, the tension between me and the poor urgent care staff member that’s been assigned the arduous task of trying to find one of my tiny escape artist veins so they can draw my blood whilst doing their absolute best to be polite and not say anything about the fucked up and concerning amount of scars on my arms, wrists, and hands
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celestialmancer · 5 months ago
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⛈️ ❌ ❌ ❌ // 2:09 am, tbd ;
#this is a fucking vent so just gnore the venty ass tags but i have nowhere else to place this that feels safe other than just.#shouting into a void where no one hears. aka here ig.#bc its better i shout into a void alone than drag others down with me somehow—i dont. know#regardless… i’m just… i dont know what to think.#things are really bad lately & i’m struggling again to stop myself from sh utting down every time i try being vulnerable & opening up.#i keep clamming up & letting my mind take the reins when it tells me to just erase anything i say. to not open up.#to swallow every single emotion & experience that’s hurting me & let that poison kill me slowly instead. deal with it alone#because it feels like its wrong to open up. like its wrong to say anything. like me being open is just.#me being a fucking burden or something. i don’t know. i shouldn’t be like this. i’m supposed to be fucking better than t his.#what the fuck happened to the version of myself that could just keep suppressing & suppressing & not being a goddamn thorn in ppl’s sides.#esp bc all the things i’m having a difficult / painful time with is all fucking trigger heavy shit or things that i just don’t.#fucking know what to do with anymore because its not shit within my control.#a lot of it’s shit im still just processing that has hurt a lot & havingg to cope w that grief alone.#but then there’s also other circumtances too that are hard to navigate & my BPD having a field day w me in recent history too#i don’t know what the fuck is wrong w me at this point. & im scared & i can’t stand being fucking alone in this shit yet.#i feel like i have to. i have to. i have to. beccause this is my own issue & to dare express anything is me just. using ppl isn’t it.#that’s all it is right. & besides how many times has it been proven that ppl get sick of me for not being okay.#how many times have ppl walked away because they realize im just some fucking deadweight emotionally or something. id on’t fucking know.#am i spiraling? who fucking knows! maybe! because im fucking tired of what my life has been in general & im. overwhelmed.#overwhelmed by existence itself i fucking guess & what its meant for me overwhelmed by expectations overwhelmed by vulnerability thats just.#bleeding out through the fucking cracks of this fucking mess of a person i am.#& constantly fucking afraid that im just. too much. too much. too much for anyone.#too emotional in fucking general too intense too overwhelming for others regardless if its overwhelming them via pos or neg emotions.#afraid im going to get discarded afraid of what’s to come afraid in fucking general. fear & grief & pain & rage & hatred &.#desperation to feel anything other than this & desperation to feel loved thats got me having rly foul compulsions too#all my emotions feel like some kind of fuckihng hairtrigger & its hard to stop it in fucking general. i dont fucking know. & like i said it.#feels like shit to deal with completely alone. not bc i wanna deal with alone but bc i /have/ to bc if i dont then im just. a problem. or.#i dont know. im tired of everything tired of my emotions tired of this life tired of all that ive had to face up til this point & tired of.#fear & idk how to handle things alone anymore. my friends deserve better than this emotional burden i am to be around ig.#it feels so much like i have to apologize to those i befriend for being. well. this. for all of me & for being ‘too much’ in general.
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msjh1 · 5 months ago
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trauma-trove · 1 year ago
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🐄
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teethburger · 1 year ago
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do y’all ever wish you could put a streak freeze on your life like in duolingo
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