#just some sh i wanna say
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
someone had requested me to do migraine but instead of childe, they said neuvillette.
which is honestly perfect omfg?? I HAVE A DRAFT THAT I WAS TOO BORED TO FINISH AND ITS ANGST (as always) ITS AB NEUVI & READER LEISKabjs
ig im continuing it then !! ily anon whoever u r /p
(srry for my rambling im just excited XD)
#rrrahhhh!!!#just some sh i wanna say#weirdo#I LOVE NEUVI SM?? WHAT#zhongli has my heartxx#genshin impact#☆ sea talks!#sea wip(s)!#seaadc#CANT WAITTT OMG#how r yall
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
It's FINISHED!!!!!
TA-DAAAAA!!!!
AND I MADE HIS *SS GLOW IN THE DARK!!!!!!!
So what possessed me to make this was that I went into a comic shop that me and my dad stop at when we get the chance because it's a little out of the way and as I'm at the counter paying for my manga haul that I managed to get away with, I look at the counter and buried under some candy was these Kaiju Number 8 stickers! They had the whole set and it was the only ones that they had, but they were 5 bucks a piece. I spent, like, a whole 30 seconds debating if I wanted to tack on another 30 bucks onto an already expensive haul before my brain went, "Uh, you can't break up a set, dumb*ss." So I ended up bying them anyway 🤣
I then ended up with Sticker Indecision (tm) and I couldn't commit to placing them anywhere. My laptop is already full, and my journal that I have for DnD is getting there + the stickers are kinda big so I don't think I could have fitted them on there anyway. I almost contemplated putting them on the side of my bookcase that faces my bed which led me to the bright idea to be an overdramatic idiot and make a WHOLE *SS TAPESTRY to house these stickers.
Sooooo..... yeah. My family thinks I'm insane now.
#To be fair#My state is the supposed capital of nerd sh*t#And yet I've only had two whole instances where I've found kn8 merch in the wild.#Outside of the manga of course.#I modeled his eyes after that one scene in ep 7 where Kafka is going up against no.9 for the first time-#And he gets shot only for the shot to get him really pissed off#Where he says “So this is what you've been shooting into their bodies”#I'm really glad ya'll voted for the lightning.#It would have looked empty without it.#The bottom bar is a little uneaten but I don't care#I got it up there.#His face was a b*tch to get on there.#I drew it just fine on paper (after some modifications) but it sucked donkey balls to transfer it.#I know I already sealed it in Modge Podge but I hope there's more stickers.#I wanna add Iharu <3#Stick his @ss right next Reno where he belongs.#kaiju no. 8#kn8#kaiju no 8#kaiju n8#kaijuu 8 gou#kaiju 8#kaiju number 8#kaiju no.8#kaiju no. eight#kafka hibino#soshiro hoshina#reno ichikawa#kikoru shinomiya#mina ashiro
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
I don’t think I should be allowed to move out lol
#*Patiently waits for this post to get old enough so I can vent in the tags* ( · ❛ ֊ ❛)#I NEED MY COMMUNITY TO BE APPROVED SO I CAN VENT WITHOUT BOTHERING ANYONE PLS#Edit: Kay vent time :3#………………………………………………………………………#*looooonggggggg sigh*#I can’t live alone bc the second I’m alone I’m going to do things I know I shouldn’t.#I am very well aware these things are bad but I want to so badly :(#I have for- idk- like 4 months#And I keep thinking “oh you’re just feeling angsty rn it’ll go away” and it hasnt#I wish I never began to feel this way#I very much so think it is my eating disorder#Malnutrition is getting to me I think#Lol im not malnourished im just a dramatic baby#(Says while she eats one meal a day at best)#I wanna go back to being able to not eat for four days and no one noticing >:l#i think I can get out of dinner#Dad said “eat when you want” so when he gets home I’ll say I had some chicken nuggets or smth#We’re also going to the pool tn so I’ll be burning a good amount of calories:3 edit: nvm no swimming :((#I think that’s all for now :D#🌾#tw disordered thoughts#tw sh implied#tw sh destructive behaviour
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
i am. thinking.
#like okay. j have been. questioning certain things for a while okay. and then a coupke of months ago i saw someone make a post#and it said that they were a median system. and when i looked it up i was like. huh. yeah thats. hm. but that was months ago and idk.#i dont wanna say anytging abt any kf this bc what if im not at all. but also what if i am.#i just. dont know. everythings kinda bad rn and this whole confusion isnt fucking helping.#and right now im in so much pain i just feel like doi g something stupid and reckless and probavly dangerous to distract myswld from it.#or maybe ill take some edibles. that might help actually.#whatever. might make shit worse. and i dont think sh whilst ur high would be a particulary good idea#sorry this js all way too much iversharing im. very kinda out of it i think ive been dissociating a hell of a lot reccently
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Blocked a bunch of racist bitches.
I feel at peace.
#personal#the racism popped out a lot in certain tags#politics#kamala harris#joe biden#donald trump#2024 elections#trifling#us politics#anyways voting for “hoemala” or whatever you call her cos yall went all kkk and full segregationist in the tags just saying#and i dont mean just white people saying racist bs#this made me wanna full on support her 😂#some of yall frothing at the mouth with lies and racist bs#people saying she's racist against black people because she didn't marry a black man#saying she's a cop (not true LMAO)#saying that she's a half breed#yall really something special#pretty gross but special#kamala 2024#your sh/it got me supporting her
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Just because a woman has the ability to give birth, it doesn't automatically mean that she is gonna be a good mother, and the way I've seen a LOT of mothers act and what they say """""jOkiNgLy""""" online proves that point.
#motherhood#txt#we really need to get rid off the idea that vagina = goodness#some of these b*tches are just f*cking cruel#and they joke about how their children ain't sh*t. b*tch f*ck you#“lol my son's better beat his a$$ for being a little sh*t” they say “”“jokingly”“” to alleviate themselves from how their ungrateful a$$#kids turned out but yeah only men can be evil and mean-spirited lol#and some b*tch joked about why she supported abortion because she posted a video of a toddler being annoying like toddlers aren't just#annoying specially the boys. f*ck you b*tches i hope you f*cking realize how f*cking sh*tty you f*cking are#i don't give a sh*t that you are “”“”jOKinG“”“”#yes toddlers are indeed cute but that's when a child is at their MOST annoying and chaotic but that's normal for THEM#they are going through infancy and if you f*cking wanna dehumanize them for that specially the boys b*tch you ain't SH*T#i'm sick of y'all
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
NO YOU NOTICE IT TOO???? EVERY NICE/OPTIMISTIC CHARACTER IS ALWAYS HEADCANONED AS PAN QND I??? HUH????? Not that there's anything wrong with being pan, I'm mspec myself, but it's ALWAYS the happy go lucky characters and I??? 😭
IT'S,,,.,...,.
#mango-mya#like ig i wanna cut some slack to the very young kids who're doing it bc they're still learning and figuring things out and uhhh yeah#they're gravitating to what makes sense to them n i think lots of them dont have the concept of sexuality fully separated from personalty-#-in their heads yet. bc character tropes and flanderizations and stereotypes are easier to ''get''#so tl;dr it's easier for them to get p submerged in stereotypes bc they're still new to everything n stereotypes r by definition Everywhere#it doesnt make it less Not Great & they do need to learn better but ik it's not done w like. malice / willful ignorance (mmost of the time)#BUT OLDER FOLKS........ GROWN PEOPLE PERPETUATING THIS STUFF.............. MASSIVE MASSIVE SIDE-EYE. BC WHHY R U STILL THINKING THIS STUFF!#the lack of self-reflection is NOT it 😔‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#IT'S LITERALLY JUST ABT ATTRACTION SO WHY ARE U OUT HERE THINKING THAT SWEETER/NICER = NO GENDER PREFERENCES??!? NO!!!!!#THAT SAYS REALLY BACKHANDED THINGS ABT PEOPLE WHO ARE GAY/LESBIAN/STRAIGHT (& ARO/ACE EVEN) !!!!!! OUGHGFGFYGFHHGHGGHHh#ofc you can be a kid & maliciously internalize shitty things like that too but imho the older/experienced you are the more likely this is#w/ age comes wisdom and all that. MASSIVE alarm bells if someone thinks these things and has been around queer communities a lot#atp that's a sign of it being kiNDA DELIBERATE ourgh#and yea the inverse is true to certain degrees. you can be older but super new & ignorant abt lgbt+ stuff but uh. in this specific case..#a lot of it is just...... bro... all you have to do is think a little. just a little. abt why niceness =/= sexuality. willfully ignorant sh#blaaagh#OH! And ofc: there's nothing INHERENTLY wrong w/ hcing characters like this as pan / etc.#you can make lgbt+ hcs influenced by personality ofc - it IS kinda best to lowkey Not but ykw it depends on how you're going abt it!!!#(*cough* LEAVE NICENESS/FRIENDLINESS OUT OF IT 😀🙏)#& it's not bad & evil for a character to fit some ~~stereotypes~~ bc those fr aren't always a bad thing!! sometimes it's legit commonalitie#but if stereotypes are ALL you ever do... if you knee-jerk leap onto WEIRD/NASTY stereotypes... if you base sexuality on niceness/goodness.#YUEAH THAT IS NOT FUCKING GOOD AND SOME SELF-REFLECTION NEEDS TO BE HAD... LIKE BOATLOADS OF SELF-REFLECTION NEEDS TO BE HAD#and really any time you're looking to a charcater's personality to come up w/ ur hcs...#(which will probably be often bc honestly what influences hcs in general more than that?)#just take a second to ask yourself if you're tapping into any personal biases/misconceptions/alladat !!#most of the time it isn't a question of ''would this look wrong?'' but rather just ''am i looking at this wrong?''#sexuality is just who you have the hots for!!!! not how kindly or wholesome or open you are! (that's just action/expression not orientation#(´・ω・`) 👍👍#.......sorry i rambled so much here. i'm on my meds today 😅#my brain has too many thoughts in it and things to say like Always aohgbhbvsfs
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
im actually becoming a littol bit annoyed by smn 😭
#we are on a camping trip and im having sm fun and i love her sm but mein gott#basically she talked abt her boyfriend a lottt like right from the start of the trip from the car#and i thought it was like. yay bonding time. shes telling us abt her loving healthy relationship#and then it kept going to the point where eveey convo literally every single convo is abt her bf and yow great he is#at first it was sweet but now its like i cannot open my mouth without her being like. yeah my bf us xyz like in legit not#exaggerating its every single convo. like it is becoming absurd atp im rly happy for her but...what abt like#hobbies and like...the convo were having#and ar first i was gen happy bc i gwt the feeling of being in a healthy relationship but some of the stuff she says is quite concerning too#like we were all talking abt our insecurities and stuff and it was quite a deep/intimate convo and one of my friends#shared how he feels bad bc hes underweight etc and she was like. since being w him i feel great abt my body#but rhis happens so often#w any other topic. i cant even bring up my own relationship without it becoming and her bf like . he does that but Better#like me being like i love cooking tgth w my gf and her being like. ive never even cooked bc he cooks for me all the time. etc etc#bro one time i shared an insecurity shared an insecurity i had abt my relationship and her immediate response was abt how they dont have#that issue bc hes so great. it gets concer ing too bc she says stuff abt . like. bc of him i dont sh bc of him im not depressed bc of him#bc of him i feel worthy etc etc...also oversharing stuff abt his ...like genetalia that im like idk if hed want us to know all this#anyway no one has said anything and im afraid im delusional..or like its acc sweet and im just not being nice etc#which yeah it is sweet but in the length of me typing this out she has made 5 (five) comments abt her bf it is non stop no other#topic of convo . i dont wanna rain on her joy either bc i get it but omg 😭 every#single conversation...
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
what kind of disgusting men does gmmtv hire????? i feel sick lately listening to some of them talk and since everyone is friends with each other i doubt most of them have different views by the way they laugh at those sick comments their coworkers/friends make. makes it REALLY difficult to enjoy the shows gmm puts out
#do they not get media training#like i'm glad they're exposing themselves so i know to not support them#but damn some of the sh*t they say is vile#sexism ped*philia homophobia transphobia racism colorism bullying cheating etc like there's someone new every week#you name it they got it#and it's not just men but most of it are#don't even get me started on the r*pe jokes i feel sick#gmmtv#and i barely see it talked about on tumblr#not a SINGLE post about prom's p*do comments or the r*pe jokes towards first#i've seen maybe 1 or 2 posts about ohm's bully past and him being a homophobe#same with nanon being proud of cheating#the disgusting transphobic comments towards jennie and godji from multiple gmm actors and actresses#like i gotta say except for 2 or 3 people in this company they all disgust me#and i really don't wanna support any of the actors in this company anymore#because they're ALL vlose and friends with each other#and if they talk and giggle about these things on camera#i don't wanna know what they're laughing about when the camera is off#anyway those are my 2 cents on all of this#i don't think i can watch gmm shows anymore
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
the vast majority of the reason why i’ve abstained from getting a professional diagnosis is practical-- i already have a therapist (she just doesn’t like to diagnose, it’s not part of her practice but within her qualifications). it would fuck up my insurance in the long-term and complicate other systemic processes. i don’t need medication nor do i need accommodations so having a diagnosis wouldn’t really help me. it opens the floor to traumatic experiences, will likely cost a lot of money, and would again be trapped on my record for years upon years.
but jesus christ, i wish i had half the confidence that other people can have with self-diagnosis. because even if i have my therapist basically stating that she thinks bpd explains several of my symptoms, and having said that the best way to explain my experiences to other people is by using bpd as a reference, i still cannot wholly convince myself that this is the issue. and i have researched for years and years so it isn’t that, i just. i need someone to look me in the eyes and tell me but if i get that, i get the rest of this too.
#nightmare.personal#it's also hard with BPD because. and i'm not saying this in a way of like ohhh haha it wasn't that bad [was objectively awful]#my childhood by any objective measurement Was Not Terrible#like yeah i have disorganized attachment patterns but that's iffy. it was non-abusive. things weren't great but they were damn good.#stuff just got messy once i turned eleven but by then you're basically old enough for that to not matter as much#but even then like. things are consistently Not Horrible for me i have lived a remarkably lucky life#and like there's the missing puzzle piece of it all but i'm beginning to suspect that whatever i imagine i repressed never truly happened#and if it did it wouldn't matter i'm never going to remember. so the point is like#yes the symptoms track yes it is the best explanation i've found to this#but there are still holes in this diagnosis and i'm never going to feel secure in it#and i'm exhausted and i just want to know that i have some kind of explanation#because even if it causes people to treat me kind of shitty at least they know why i act like this#but if that's not the right explanation and i have to go back to square one#having no kind of reasoning behind why i act so uncharacteristic very suddenly or why i get really hostile apropos of nothing#and then send you texts threatening sh before messaging again like hey do u wanna see this funny video#getting into relationships and treating them icily before jumping in so deep that they become my everything#i can't go back to the time where there was nothing to explain it. where people just didn't know why i acted like this#but i don't know if i've reached an actual explanation or if i'm just desperately searching for anything to fix this#and if anyone could tell me objectively in a way that i believed. that might destroy me but it could also fix this#neg#God i'm exhausted
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
CW: talkin’ about my scars and the experience of having blood drawn
oh, the tension between me and the poor urgent care staff member that’s been assigned the arduous task of trying to find one of my tiny escape artist veins so they can draw my blood whilst doing their absolute best to be polite and not say anything about the fucked up and concerning amount of scars on my arms, wrists, and hands
#cw sh mention#sh mention#cw blood mention#blood mention#cw medical#cw health issues#Seven.txt#most of the scars are very old and white but they are still unmistakable and they don’t bother me but i do always feel a lil bad#for whoever is drawing my blood or giving me a shot or whatever cause they’re probably like. concerned but don’t wanna say anything#i don’t actually know what they’re thinking though. maybe they see it often enough that they’re not that bothered by it!#i told the first person that tried to do the draw that i have a history of it being hard to find a vein#and they really tried!#but like i figured i had to sit there and drink some more water while they called in someone with more experience lmao#they got it tho!! so it’s all good and they were very nice! they complimented my perfume and we chatted about essential oils while waiting#there’s smthn relaxing about having blood drawn. to me. maybe i’m just insane tho#i just. like medical stuff??? it’s calming in a way. knowing that i’m getting tested and hopefully getting answers to my health concerns#the next few days of waiting for the test results is very much so NOT relaxing tho#so if anyone needs me i’ll be sitting here staring at my phone in anticipation :)
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
⛈️ ❌ ❌ ❌ // 2:09 am, tbd ;
#this is a fucking vent so just gnore the venty ass tags but i have nowhere else to place this that feels safe other than just.#shouting into a void where no one hears. aka here ig.#bc its better i shout into a void alone than drag others down with me somehow—i dont. know#regardless… i’m just… i dont know what to think.#things are really bad lately & i’m struggling again to stop myself from sh utting down every time i try being vulnerable & opening up.#i keep clamming up & letting my mind take the reins when it tells me to just erase anything i say. to not open up.#to swallow every single emotion & experience that’s hurting me & let that poison kill me slowly instead. deal with it alone#because it feels like its wrong to open up. like its wrong to say anything. like me being open is just.#me being a fucking burden or something. i don’t know. i shouldn’t be like this. i’m supposed to be fucking better than t his.#what the fuck happened to the version of myself that could just keep suppressing & suppressing & not being a goddamn thorn in ppl’s sides.#esp bc all the things i’m having a difficult / painful time with is all fucking trigger heavy shit or things that i just don’t.#fucking know what to do with anymore because its not shit within my control.#a lot of it’s shit im still just processing that has hurt a lot & havingg to cope w that grief alone.#but then there’s also other circumtances too that are hard to navigate & my BPD having a field day w me in recent history too#i don’t know what the fuck is wrong w me at this point. & im scared & i can’t stand being fucking alone in this shit yet.#i feel like i have to. i have to. i have to. beccause this is my own issue & to dare express anything is me just. using ppl isn’t it.#that’s all it is right. & besides how many times has it been proven that ppl get sick of me for not being okay.#how many times have ppl walked away because they realize im just some fucking deadweight emotionally or something. id on’t fucking know.#am i spiraling? who fucking knows! maybe! because im fucking tired of what my life has been in general & im. overwhelmed.#overwhelmed by existence itself i fucking guess & what its meant for me overwhelmed by expectations overwhelmed by vulnerability thats just.#bleeding out through the fucking cracks of this fucking mess of a person i am.#& constantly fucking afraid that im just. too much. too much. too much for anyone.#too emotional in fucking general too intense too overwhelming for others regardless if its overwhelming them via pos or neg emotions.#afraid im going to get discarded afraid of what’s to come afraid in fucking general. fear & grief & pain & rage & hatred &.#desperation to feel anything other than this & desperation to feel loved thats got me having rly foul compulsions too#all my emotions feel like some kind of fuckihng hairtrigger & its hard to stop it in fucking general. i dont fucking know. & like i said it.#feels like shit to deal with completely alone. not bc i wanna deal with alone but bc i /have/ to bc if i dont then im just. a problem. or.#i dont know. im tired of everything tired of my emotions tired of this life tired of all that ive had to face up til this point & tired of.#fear & idk how to handle things alone anymore. my friends deserve better than this emotional burden i am to be around ig.#it feels so much like i have to apologize to those i befriend for being. well. this. for all of me & for being ‘too much’ in general.
0 notes
Text
.
#its almost impossible to escape from gr****ming in an online setting where minors are exposed to adults#some are harder to detect because you can't tell whether theyre just being nice to everyone or have ulterior motives#its even harder to call it out when that person is liked by everyone#but i will say this#if someone i know have been doing shady sh*t they gtg#i dont wanna be that person who hangs around shady ppl and 3 years later they're exposed as gr***mer
0 notes
Text
🐄
#im here now.#i think mazda has been cooking up some sh info posts on her menhera blog.#I'll see if i can clean those up and pist them. i dont know how long ill be here.#and i have no idea what im going to say about my relapse tomorrow.#i just hope we dont end up committed. our friend is having wisdom teeth out and we wanna be there for her#if they try to commit me i can probs get away with saying im chronically ill 🤭#thats why my friend keeps getting turned away at least
0 notes
Text
do y’all ever wish you could put a streak freeze on your life like in duolingo
#i have been mentally and physically exhausted for 48 hours straight#i just wanna go to sleep early please god#i literally feel like the bo burnham shit song#but I can accept that I’m gonna make it through eventually#joey says some sh#autistic#help
0 notes