#just some fun hijinks

[doesnotloveyou]

the way other fanfic writers write boys and men tells me a lot of you have never observed men interacting in the wild much less had male friends of your own. he literally wouldn't do that

[thegreatyin]

two of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[luminouslotuses]

feeling the need for class trial saiouma romantic tension but in a non-despair au so i propose the idea . of Mock Trial

[doopcity]

ok so because this design has snowballed into me having a story in my head about him he's just gonna become an OC now. His name is Felix

[nite-puff]

i really love the idea of takaaki helping hiroko investigate and find the other captives (because he's the first one she sends a rescue team to look for. so it's safe to assume that he's the first one to be brought to the base. also. just let me indulge in the detective takaaki ishimaru dream.). just cuz it's fun to imagine the ways they'll work together.

takaaki thinks about and approaches the situation like he's in a classic detective noir film. hiroko does like she's in buddy cop, rom com flick. both are aware that the other is thinking that way, and that's why they're working so well together.

[sysig]

Chill, Sub-Commander (Patreon)

[mechncheese]

I can imagine anything, so I made up my own continuity featuring my fav autobot scientists as the protagonists ! I mostly just wanted my favorite guys to get up to some goofy fun hijinks

[foldingfittedsheets]

I’d like to entertain and enliven you now with the saga of my Slut Era.

I’ve always been a serial monogamist and my shortest long term relationships clocked in at three years. So perhaps that’s why when I finally broke it off with my ex I went insane on dating. Part of it was definitely just that between anxiety and loneliness I wanted to fill up my time.

This happened when I was living alone for the first time, no roommates, just me and my little cat Leeloo. I didn’t want to come home to an empty house so instead I set up dates.

Most of these were disastrous. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea and I had a lot more first dates than second because they’d seen enough, including the one where people aggressively complimented me.

But after a few months I had four people I was seeing simultaneously. I was up front with all of them that things were not exclusive, and they all agreed, so no infidelity took place here, just a lot of hijinks.

Here’s who was on the dating roster:

• An apprentice woodworker that we’ll call Jill. I honestly thought at 26 years old that her being 21 wasn’t a problem age gap and I quickly learned that there was a vast gulf of both maturity and life experience between us. Jill described herself as “heteroflexible” and had just dumped her first boyfriend to flirt it up with me.

• A married woman looking for a friends with benefits. We’ll call her Alice. I insisted on meeting her husband first to be sure I wasn’t part of a cheating mess and he gave me his blessing when I stayed over at her house. Years later when he and Alice had divorced I would go on to sell him and his new fiancée an engagement ring and we both realized at the end how we knew each other and it was wildly awkward. Alice was nice, but a hardcore vegan who insisted I brush my teeth if I so much as ate string cheese before I could kiss her. She was also unhappy in her marriage and was feeling out if I’d want to get serious.

• A bartender dubbed Snakebites, so called because of her signature piercings. She cooked me a steak so raw it was still mooing and some of the best asparagus I’d ever had. In our singular sexy encounter she bit my nipple and I never got over it. Really don't bite someone if you don't know their preference and work up in pressure. We weren’t terribly compatible but neither of us were willing to admit it yet. Truthfully I considered still dating her solely because I desperately wanted her bathroom. It had all black tile, black toilet, black sink, a rain shower in the corner and a jacuzzi tub. I may not have loved her but god I loved that bathroom.

And finally,

• My beloved, who I would go on to marry, who was dealing with a lot of personal stuff at the time. Obviously that meant I liked them the best of all the people I was seeing because we were both disasters at the time.

So that’s the cast of this little misadventure. Now, our story begins with Jill.

Jill was someone who heightened my anxiety. Each of the three times she came to my home she brought and left more stuff. A self help book, a ramen kit, the entire Teen Titans collection of DVDs. It was like she was trying to move in. She also liked to deride my taste in things, frequently calling me a pleb when I mentioned a band or show I liked.

She was working on a gorgeous little decorative table in her woodworking program. The main wood for the top had a beautiful dapple of knots like jaguar spots, and when she showed me a picture I exclaimed how pretty it was.

“Do you want it?”

“Oh- I mean it’s lovely, I wouldn’t mind having it, but you should sell it and make some money!”

But she was adamant. She’d give me the little side table. At about this time, Alice was starting to get awfully lovey for a FWB. I knew she wasn’t happy with her husband but I also knew we were not a good fit. Fun fact: Alice and her husband were step siblings with a pretty hefty age gap. They got together when he stumbled upon a kink photo shoot she’d done with vegetables. None of their family was happy about the relationship but they weren’t related by blood so it was fine.

So I was fending off more overt romantic advances from Alice, and feeling increasingly like I needed to break things off with Jill. Snakebites wasn’t ever initiating communication and I decided to pull a lot of plugs at once.

I ghosted Snakebites, told Alice that I thought we should cool it, and in a move worthy of a rom-com I asked my beloved if I could pretend we were exclusive to put off Jill. They agreed and I texted Jill to let her know that I was no longer single.

I was not prepared for Jill’s response. She. Was. Devastated. She flew off the handle. She’d just been waiting for the right time to tell me how she felt about me! How dare I do this to her!

What about the table?!

“You should keep the table, it’s gorgeous, you’ll be able to sell it, but I don’t expect a free table.”

Silence met me after that text. I worried and fretted and eventually headed home.

There on my doorstep. The table.

It was a small little end table, reeking of oil and polish, but very beautiful. I brought it inside. The little drawer didn’t even have a knob or guide rails. But it did have a handwritten bill proclaiming that it was costing me $500.

“I can’t afford a $500 table, Jill!” I texted.

“Well you kept saying how nice it was. I spent a lot of time on it.”

“I’m not saying it’s not worth $500” (it wasn’t, it was a tiny side table made by an apprentice) “but I can’t buy a $500 table.”

“Make me an offer.”

I stared at the little table. I did actually like it, but I worried about the repercussions of entering into this deal. Hesitantly I typed back, “$300.” I didn’t think it was worth that much but I didn’t want to insult her too badly.

This suited her for the night. But the next day she informed me she needed a new bed, and that she’d take her $300 in credit toward a new mattress. I spent the whole next day basically wrangling with her over what she wanted and eventually she spiked back up to demanding $500 for the damn table.

“Let me just give it back,” I begged. It was not the first, second, or even third time I’d asked to return the thing but this time she finally relented and gave me her address. Since she lived with her parents still I’d never been over.

I called up my beloved and said, “Hey, I need moral support, can you run an errand with me?”

They agreed which is how we loaded up a self help book, a ramen kit, the entire Teen Titans DVD collection, and the table from hell into my little car together. Jill had said to meet her at one o'clock. I intended to drop everything off at noon and be done with this madness.

But while my beloved and I were on the doorstep leaving everything I heard, “Jill? You’re home early,” through the door. Her mom opened it to peer at us in confusion.

“I was just bringing Jill’s stuff back!” I chirped in alarm.

With little tact and a lot of speed we left her with Jill’s collection of things and then I sped out of there like my tail was on fire. I handed my phone to my beloved as I zoomed away instructing them to block Jill’s number. I was free. The tabletross around my neck had been returned.

It was about a month after that when my beloved and I officially began dating exclusively. I had wrapped up all my messy dating threads and it was a relief to be in a relationship again. They went on a trip to Mexico shortly after we made it official.

So I knew they were out of town. But next morning I walked out to my car and beheld a lipstick kiss pressed to the drivers side window.

I was petrified. I had just dumped three girls at once and had an extremely messy back and forth with one of them. Did I have a stalker?!

Of the girls, Alice seemed like likeliest candidate, being of a stronger lipstick variety girl than Jill or Snakebites. We had ended things a bit stiffly, but still cordial. She just laughed when I asked if she knew anything about it. “Nope,” she said, “but good luck.”

I’d rather have walked over broken glass then text Jill, and I’d firmly ghosted Snakebites so I was scared to reopen communication to ask if she was stalking me. I had to drop it. But it haunted me, that lipstick kiss.

For months I was jumpy, wondering which of my spurned lovers had done it. And why. Was it a threat? A goodbye? I lay awake thinking about it, worrying about how everyone I’d dated knew where I lived, which car was mine.

Finally, nothing else happened and I moved on. The kiss would remain a mystery and I had to be content with that.

It was a year later when I finally started filling my mom in on my dating escapades that I finally got closure. She was hooting and laughing as I went over the table debacle. Then I paused and added, “And then this kiss showed up on my car.”

“Did you like it?”

“What? No! I’m pretty sure one of them was stalking me! Who else would leave a kiss on my car?”

My mom started bellowing with laughter. “I did!” She wheezed.

Apparently. My mother had been driving by my place. And decided that a cute little gesture would be to leave me a kiss. And then decided to never mention it to me even though she’s never done anything like that previously.

“It scared the crap out of me!” I yelled while she collapsed with helpless laughter. “I thought I had a stalker! How could I possibly have known that was you?!”

“How could I have known you’d just broken up with three girls at once?” She wheezed in rejoinder and like. Fair play.

So that’s how my mom convinced me I had a stalker and I got out of buying a $500 table.

[gloomwitchwrites]

What about the whole 141 ships it or tries to play wingman, but the couple are idiots in love and denial? Lol

The way I SMILED while writing this prompt. I had so much fun with this. Thank you so much for sending it in! This whole thing is just humor, hijinks, and shenanigans. And lots and lots of denial. Enjoy!

For the masterlist and how to submit your own request, click HERE

Task Force 141 x Reader (can be read as gn!reader)

Content & Warnings (MDNI): swearing, brief alcohol, denial of feelings, shenanigans, humor, fluff, suggestive themes

Word Count: 1k

ao3 // main masterlist // imagines & what if masterlist

John Price

“That,” emphasizes Kyle by pointing in Price’s direction, “is a man in love.”

“It’s like watching your old man attempt to flirt,” mutters Simon.

“You’d know all about that wouldn’t you, Lt?” smiles Johnny.

“Fuck off, Soap.”

Kyle frowns. “Think we should do something?”

Simon side-eyes him. “Like what?”

“Step in?” shrugs Kyle.

“Look at him. I think the captain can handle himself,” replies Johnny, leaning against the doorframe as Price talks with you across the room.

As Price talks, he reaches for his mug. He shoots wide, knocking it over, and spilling the contents everywhere.

“Well…I take that back,” sighs Johnny.

Kyle shakes his head. “I can’t watch this.”

“We should help,” Johnny says over his shoulder. “These two lovebirds need a push.”

Simon snorts. “They’ll figure it out.”

“And if they don’t?”

“Then they don’t.”

Johnny guffaws. “Hate to be dating you, Lt.”

Simon leans toward Johnny, voice low. “Want to have a go?”

Kyle reaches between the two men, snapping his fingers to get their attention. “Pay attention.” He shakes his head. “Fucking weirdos,” he mutters.

“Fine,” says Simon. “I’ll step in.”

“And do what?” counters Johnny.

“Tell them to kiss already.”

“No,” says Kyle. “No!”

“Too late,” whispers Simon as he walks into the room, heading for you and Price.

John "Soap" MacTavish

“Look at those idiots,” sighs Kyle, leaning an elbow on the high-top table behind him.

Price and Simon stand on either side of him, watching as you and Johnny attempt to play pool. Johnny uses the cue stick as a support, both hands clasped over the top of it, chin resting on his hands. There’s a massive smile on his face, eyelids a bit soft as he gazes at you. You are not serene. With hands waving in the air, you appear slightly irritated but also amused.

“He won’t go for it,” replies Simon, crossing his arms over his chest.

“See how close they’re standing?” observes Kyle.

You and Johnny are almost on top of each other. Only one of you needs to lean in to erase all separation.

“Leave them be,” mumbles Price. “They’ll figure it out.”

Kyle addresses Price. “They’re both in love. Look at them. Their seconds away from having it off on the pool table.”

“If they start making out, I’m leaving,” grumbles Simon.

Price cracks a smile. “It’s denial,” he sighs, reaching for the ash tray to move it closer. “Lovebirds don’t want to admit it.”

Kyle shakes his head, turning back to you and Johnny. Johnny is teasing you now, cracking jokes, making you all flustered.

“Fucking hell,” mutters Simon. “Just fuck already. Give us all some bloody peace.”

Soap tilts his head slightly, whispering something to you that as you smacking his arm and laughing hysterically.

Price knocks back his whiskey. “We need a plan.”

“Agree, Captain,” replies Kyle. He turns to Simon. “You in?”

“You know it.”

Simon "Ghost" Riley

“You look upset, Lt.”

“I’m fine,” growls Simon.

Johnny and Kyle both glance at Simon’s whiskey glass at the exact same time. Simon’s hand is clutching it tightly, knuckles white from the effort.

“Sure about that?” asks Johnny.

“Yes,” snarls Simon.

Johnny’s lips purse, his gaze shifting to a place across the bar. “Wouldn’t be that a certain someone—”

“I told you,” says Simon slowly. “I’m not angry.”

Kyle leans in, lowering his voice. “Johnny and I could chase them off. Give you an opening.”

Simon’s grip on his glass relaxes a bit. The intensity between his brow softens.

Johnny chimes in. “What do you say, Lt?”

Simon rolls his shoulders, straightening his back, the grip on his whiskey class easing completely. “Looks like they need saving.”

Johnny is nodding enthusiastically, already standing, pushing back his chair. He clasps Simon’s shoulder and nods at Kyle.

“I’ll go shepherd them off,” says Kyle, winking at Johnny as he heads in your direction.

“There’s nothing going on between us, Soap,” says Simon.

“Course, Lt,” nods Johnny as Simon gets up from his chair, aiming for you. When you notice Simon, the corners of your mouth upturn into a huge smile. “Nothing at all.”

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

“What?” asks Kyle around his toothbrush.

Johnny and Simon have him cornered in the communal locker room. It’s late, the three of them just in from a quick mission. Simon looms, his stare intense as Johnny crosses his arms over his chest, leaning forward slightly like he knows a secret Kyle doesn’t.

The two men remain silent.

“This is fucking weird,” continues Kyle, his gaze darting between the two of them.

Johnny’s knowing grin widens. “You’ve got a thing for one of the team.”

Kyle blinks. “Price?” he splutters, little droplets of toothpaste shooting in various directions.

Simon chuckles. “The other one, smartass.”

Kyle spits into the sink and rinses the toothbrush under the faucet. “Don’t know what you’re on about,” he mutters.

Johnny steps around to Kyle’s right side, he and Simon boxing him in. “Do you think we didn’t hear the two of you over comms?”

Kyle takes a step back, hands raised. “Just a bit of banter.”

“Banter?” counters Simon. “That was banter?”

Kyle shrugs. “What else would you call it?”

“Flirting,” deadpans Simon

“Verbal fucking,” replies Johnny, just as monotone.

Kyle shakes his head, hands still raised like he’s about to ward off evil. “You have it all wrong.”

“Do we?” asks Simon. “Then explain what happened after we got off the plane.”

Kyle swallows. “Nothing.” Johnny’s knowing grin returns. He scoots closer and Kyle groans, running his hand over his face with annoyance. “Don’t go there, Soap.”

“Are tongues down each other’s throats nothing?”

Kyle places his hand over Johnny’s face and gives him a light shove. “Nothing happened.”

Johnny swats at Kyle’s hand. “Admit it!”

“Should go for it, mate,” says Simon.

“Nothing is going on!” Kyle tosses his towel onto the bench and slides on a pair of joggers. “Leave it.”

Johnny and Simon exchange a look.

“What?” prompts Kyle, shirt in hand.

Johnny leans in, lowering his voice. “Want us to have a chat with them?”

“Fuck off. The both of you.”

[recallback-art]

Yeesh Tumblr doesn't display the first image here well. But here's some misc OC guys I designed a while back who I don't really... have a place for and haven't figured out what to do with yet.....

Eun-Ji Kim (first, they/them) is an overworked pediatric doctor, and Ji-Yeong is their illegally adopted son who happens to be some kind of creature for reasons that Eun-Ji is still trying to figure out. Hijinks ensue, naturally.

[monzabee]

I saw you're open to requests and I had an idea for nanny!reader x Hotch, if you think it might be something!

What about Hotch coming back to find Nanny & Jack have taken in a stray cat or dog "temporarily" and the hijinks that comes with that? Adapt however you want, I just love the idea of Hotch with some cute animals and Nanny!reader!! love the series!

judge - a. hotchner

criminal minds masterlist || part of the nanny series

Summary: aaron is outvoted by you and jack when you try to decide whether to adopt a puppy and there is a big decision to make—what to name him.   

Pairing: aaron hotchner x nanny!reader

Word Count: 1.4k 

Warnings: none  

Author’s Note: okay a quick little note here that this was extremely fun to work on and i loved every second of it so thank you anon for your request!! the feedback on this series has been nothing but lovely to see so thank you so much to you guys, and a friendly reminder that my requests are open and i'd love some more ideas to work on!!

Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms. 

“He’s sleeping, again.” Jack whines silently, looking at the snoozing puppy on the couch. He dramatically throws himself onto a nearby loveseat, which earns a chuckle from you.  

Slicing through the tape of another box, you shrug as you give him a sheepish look. “He’s a puppy, what did you expect him to do most of the day?” 

Jack sighs, propping his chin up on his hands as he watches the tiny golden retriever twitch in his sleep. “I thought he'd want to play all the time,” he mutters, eyes filled with a mix of disappointment and fondness. 

You smile, setting aside a few books from the moving box. “Give him some time, bud. He’s still getting used to his new home.” 

Jack huffs but doesn’t argue. Instead, he leans forward, his fingers gently scratching behind the puppy’s ear. The little dog lets out a contented sigh, shifting slightly but staying asleep. The excited look he gives you in return tugs at your hear in a way you cannot explain. 

The front door clicks open, and you hear the familiar rustling of keys being set on the entry table. Aaron walks in, taking in the sight before him—the half-unpacked boxes, his son pouting dramatically, and you kneeling beside them with an amused smile. “Let me guess,” he says, loosening his tie. “He's still sleeping?” 

Jack nods solemnly. “All. The. Time.” 

Aaron exhales a quiet chuckle, stepping further into the room. His gaze softens when it lands on you, then shifts to the tiny puppy curled up on the couch. He shakes his head, still pretending to be annoyed that he was outvoted on the whole ‘getting a dog’ decision. 

“I hate to say I told you so,” he says, taking off his suit jacket. “But I told you so.” 

You roll your eyes, grinning up at him. “Oh, come on. Look at him,” you say, gesturing toward the sleeping pup. “How can you not love him already?” 

Aaron gives you a knowing look but doesn't argue. Instead, he walks over and reaches out, running a careful hand over the puppy’s soft fur. The little dog stirs slightly, stretching his tiny paws before nestling back into sleep. 

Jack brightens up as he excitedly turns to his father. “That means he likes you, Dad!” 

Aaron hums, pretending to consider it. “Or he’s just too tired to care and he can’t control his reflexes quite yet.” 

Jack giggles, and you shake your head with a soft laugh. “Well,” you say, tilting your head at Aaron, “looks like you're outvoted again. We all love him, so you kind of have to, too.” 

Aaron sighs in mock defeat. “Guess that’s how democracy works in this house.” 

“Pretty sure it is how it works, dad.” Jack shrugs, leaning over the side of the couch to scratch the back of the puppy’s ears again. “It’s the control of a group by the majority of its members.” 

Aaron turns to you with his eyebrows raised, “I though you and Reid were going to work with Jack on his division.” 

You shrug sheepishly as you offer him a small smile, “We also covered some good old political science, he is a very good student.” 

Jack grins proudly. “Uncle Reid says it’s good to learn about different subjects!” 

Aaron shakes his head with a chuckle, rubbing a hand over his face. “Of course he did.” 

You laugh, nudging Aaron playfully. “Face it, Mister Hotchner. You’ve got a little genius on your hands.” 

Jack beams at the praise, but his focus quickly shifts back to the puppy, who lets out a tiny yawn before curling deeper into the couch cushions. You and Aaron watch Jack as he silently keeps whispering names to the sleeping puppy.  

Aaron turns to you with a confused look on his face, silently asking what’s going on. “He’s trying to pick a name, but the puppy doesn’t react to any of them, so none of them ‘seem right’.”  

“None of them seem right?” Aaron echoes. “It’s a dog.” 

“We’ve gone through every single name in Lords of the Rings,” You sigh, turning back to the box in front of you for a second. “Every. Single. One.”  

Aaron exhales sharply, amusement flickering in his eyes. "And none of them stuck?" 

Jack shakes his head dramatically. “He didn’t even react to Frodo! Or Sam! Not even Gandalf, Dad!” 

Aaron huffs out a laugh, sitting down beside Jack. “Well, maybe he’s just not a Lord of the Rings fan.” 

Jack gasps, clutching his chest like he’s been personally betrayed. “Dad, that’s blasphemy.” 

You snort, biting back a laugh as you glance at Aaron, who gives you an exasperated but fond look. “You and Reid really did a number on him,” he mutters. 

You shrug. “We just exposed him to good literature. Is that a crime, Mister Hotchner?” 

Aaron gives you a pointed look but doesn't argue. Instead, he turns his attention back to Jack, who is now resting his chin on the couch beside the puppy, deep in thought. “Maybe he needs a name that means something,” Jack muses aloud. “Like… something special to him.” He thinks for a moment, then starts listing of names again, “Trevor, Crookshanks, Scabbers...” 

“What is it this time?” Aaron asks in a low voice, leaning towards you.” 

You glance up at Jack, slowly shaking your head. “Harry Potter.”  

“...Hedwig!” Jack tries again. 

“Ah.” Aaron nods in understanding. 

“Dad!” Jack whines, “He doesn’t like any of them.” 

“Well, buddy,” Aaron starts, taking a few steps towards the couch, “maybe we should give him some time, I’m sure the name will come to us.” 

“He didn’t even like Harry Potter,” Jack mumbles sadly.  

Aaron offers his son a sympathetic look, “We shouldn’t judge people on their choice of literature. Judging people is a bad thing, Jack.” Aaron continues, “It’s shallow, and you shouldn’t let judge a book by it’s—” 

Jack frowns, clearly unimpressed with the lecture, but before he can protest, a soft little whuff comes from the couch. 

The three of you freeze. 

The puppy, who had previously been completely uninterested in Jack’s long list of names, suddenly lifts his tiny head and gives a sleepy blink. His ears twitch, and then—shockingly—his tail gives a sluggish little wag. 

Jack’s mouth drops open. “Did you see that?” 

Aaron looks just as surprised as you feel. “What just happened?” 

Jack scrambles up onto his knees. “He reacted to something! What was I saying?” 

You replay the conversation in your head, eyes going wide as you realize. “Mister Hotchner—what were you saying? Right before he reacted.” 

Aaron blinks, then crosses his arms. “I was saying that judging people is bad—” 

The puppy lets out another soft little whuff and wags his tail again. 

Jack gasps. “Judge!” he exclaims. 

Aaron freezes. “Wait—” 

“Judge!” Jack tries again, grinning. The puppy’s tail wags harder. 

Aaron groans, pinching the bridge of his nose as you burst out laughing. “Oh my god. He likes Judge.” 

Jack practically vibrates with excitement. “Dad, did you hear that? He likes it! He likes Judge!”  

Aaron mutters something under his breath before sighing deeply, rubbing a hand over his face. “We are in big trouble,” he finally says, shaking his head. 

You bite back a grin. “Hey, don’t look at me. You were the one who told him he could have a puppy if we moved into a house. I was just a willing advocate.” You laugh, nudging him playfully. “Come on, think about it—Special Supervisory Agent Hotchner and Judge, reporting for duty? Has a nice ring to it.” 

Aaron gives you a long, unimpressed look, but the tiny smirk tugging at the corner of his lips betrays him. Before he can respond, Judge lets out a sleepy yawn, his little paws stretching forward before he snuggles back into Jack’s lap, tail wagging contentedly.  

Jack looks up at his father with wide, pleading eyes. “Can we keep it, Dad? Please?” 

Aaron sighs, already knowing he’s lost this battle. “Yeah, buddy,” he relents, ruffling Jack’s hair. “Judge it is.” 

Jack cheers, throwing his arms around the tiny puppy. Judge wags his tail happily, oblivious to the chaos he’s already bringing into the Hotchner household. 

You lean back on your hands, grinning as you glance at Aaron. “Told you democracy wins.” 

Aaron huffs a quiet laugh, shaking his head in mock defeat. “Yeah, yeah,” he mutters, but as he watches Jack cuddle the puppy, his expression softens. “Big trouble,” he repeats, but this time, there’s warmth in his voice. 

[bbuzz28]

Whenever I consider an older Stan and Ford meeting a younger version of Stanley through some sort of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey scenario (which happens relatively frequently) ...there is one thing that grounds me from the probable fun/hijinks that would eventually abound:

Younger Stan (mullet-or hell, even teen Stan), upon seeing a 60+ Stan, would in fact be freaking the fuck out.

Not if he saw Stanford- of course he would expect his brother to live well into his 60's and beyond. He's well equipped to succeed in life with his big brain.

But...him?

Why are they still here? He's not the smart one, but he knows that's not how his story goes. He's always getting into trouble; it's going to catch up to him eventually.

What do you mean you’re not only still kicking, but have...a family?

That’s...an option? Really?

TLDR: Aging is a gift that many don’t expect, and if faced with a version of yourself you don't think ever could exist...I think you'd have a bigger reaction than just the standard 'wait, time travel's a thing???'

[justaladyiguess]

Jax 001 Theory AKA An almost definitely wrong TADC theory

I thought it was weird that they gave specific attention to Jax seeing the license plate. Like, there's a whole shot dedicated it. And it doesn't serve much of a purpose. I guess it lets us know that this is Jax's car? But it's in the episode. A full shot dedicated to seeing him notice it. A full shot dedicated to the plate itself.

And there's a shot afterwards of him reacting to it. Not even a particularly comedic shot. It feels more in line with his reaction to Kaufmo's funeral in episode 2.

True, it could be him reacting to the awful adventure he just had, but we just had a scene where his smile turned into a scowl. And, you know, pretty much the rest of the episode. Or it could be him reacting to the absurdity of the license plate, but considering the day to day adventures Caine creates, this seems a bit tame to get any reaction from him.

So that gets me wondering, does the license plate have any significance? The number at the top right could be some sort of reference. But it's the 001 that intrigued me. It's typically a number given to the first of something. Maybe even the first person to come to the circus?

Instantly the idea sounded ridiculous (because it is, this theory is almost definitely wrong). I mean, Jax himself said that Kinger had been here the longest. But take a look back at what he actually said.

"Supposedly been here the longest"

At first glance, this seems to mean that Jax can't be sure who's been here the longest. Which makes sense when you consider Kinger's memory issues and all the circus members who have abstracted. And, let's be real, this is probably what the line means. But if you'll let me be delusional for a second, there's another way to read this line.

What if Jax means that everyone assumes Kinger had been there the longest? But he knows it's not true because he's been there the longest?

For most characters, it wouldn't make sense for them to be purposefully vague with their wording. But this is Jax. It's completely in character for him to keep things from the other circus members for no reason. In the first episode alone he kept his supply of keys and Kaufmo's abstraction a secret. Jax will lie about pretty much everything, and he's pretty good at it too.

Further delusions can also be found in episode one. When Pomni tries take her headset off, Jax says this.

Could it be that Jax knows the circus members all tried to take off their headsets because he was there when they did it? Again, probably not. This is the weakest piece of evidence I have, but I figured I'd include it anyway.

And that would explain a fair bit of his behavior. Jax seems more comfortable in the circus than any of them. He has access to keys. He's only momentarily surprised by Kaufmo abstracting. He's incredibly jaded. He seems bored with the adventures, deliberately causing chaos to get them off track (his hijinks on the syrup truck, sucking up the ghost in the mansion, and trying to dunk Ragatha in the oil). It almost reads like a gamer who's played the game a thousand times and is trying anything to make it interesting.

Again, I'm fully aware that this probably isn't the case. I'd say there's a 0.01% chance that this will be confirmed in any capacity whatsoever. It will almost definitely be disproved. But until then, I thought this would be a fun idea. Maybe it'd be a good fic.

But hey, that's just a theory...

A DIGITAL CIRCUS THEORY!

and cut.

[mareastrorum]

This is only half a thought so far, but maybe other people want to chime in.

I’m doing Watch Machina (currently at episode 15) and Nein Again (currently at episode 21) while I also keep up with current Critical Role content (Age of Umbra episode 4) and something that bothers me a little is Matt’s current method of narration.

In C1, Matt’s style is very informal with regard to the narration. There’s little added drama via his tone, pace, or choice of words. “Toothy maw” became a meme pretty quickly, but the point of every description was to efficiently set the scene so the players could start their RP and choose what to do. There wasn’t as much precision with his descriptions, and of course that is a talent that takes a long time to hone when you’re describing lots of different things over the course of several hours. However, the narration was far less formal and calculated than his NPC dialogue, so (in combination with voice acting) it was very easy to determine when Matt was in character or not. It wasn’t a bad thing; Matt’s very casual narration and formal dialogue leading up to the Chroma Conclave’s attack on Emon was excellent because it was so sudden, leading the players and the audience to experience the exact same shock the NPCs would have. It’s not a bad way to narrate. If anything, it made the heartfelt moments so poignant, especially at the end of the campaign. That description of snow drops would not have been nearly as impactful if Matt had narrated that way all the time.

In C2, Matt started getting more descriptive and slowed down his narration to match. As Aabria would put it, he “paints a word picture” and includes more environmental storytelling for the setting itself, not just things for the characters to expressly interact with. I think this is part of what led to the Nein interacting with the set dressing more: Matt mentioned it, so it must be important! This led to some fun hijinks as time went on, and it gave Wildemount a different feeling than Tal’dorei. I couldn’t tell you that Emon had a particular vibe to it other than it being a big city, but howdy do we know that Berleben is full of nosy, bored people in a smelly swamp, and we sure know that Zadash is a bustling city with stark class segregation while Nicodranas is a beautiful trade hub with a mixture of different cultures. I think part of that may have come from working on the source books (they have similar language for the plot hooks and location entries). However, that method of narration was mostly limited to first descriptions of a new place or events (“cutscenes” like the attack in Zadash). Within a scene, Matt was still fairly casual in his discussions with the players.

But currently in Age of Umbra, and with a good chunk of C3, Matt’s narration is far more deliberate. There is a consistently slower pace compared to earlier campaigns, usually only speeding up in combat. Part of that may be for production purposes (easier for transcriptions and closed captioning), but it also impacts the pacing of the game itself. There’s also that presence of a new character: the narrator himself has a voice, and that is now part of the story. It’s extremely noticeable when the cast gets Matt to “break character” as the narrator to only be a DM. It requires a baseline level of formality for that to happen, and Matt committed to it in nearly every scene, regardless of the context of the scene. While that doesn’t feel all that strange for Age of Umbra (it fits well with the soulsborne style of game), it does make me realize that it’s part of why C3 felt incongruous. Like, sorry about the dead horse, but I was expecting C3 to be pulpy, which very much benefits from the narration style of C1 rather than the formal narration style Matt prefers currently. Punchy, informal narration sets a player expectation of “you’re here to get something done and I’ll tell you if it works,” while the current style instead lends itself to “you’re part of my story and this is the tone.” The former is great for fast-paced roleplay and the latter is suited to unhurried storytelling—which wouldn’t feel as mismatched if C3 hadn’t been a story where the PCs needed to prevent a second calamity within the course of a few weeks.

I wouldn’t go so far as to say that this was a mistake. Matt clearly enjoys how he narrates currently, and every DM is entitled to their preference. However, I think there’s a lesson in here that varying the narration style to match the purpose of the scene and story would benefit the players and the audience.

To be fair here, Matt is not the only DM who doesn’t mix it up very often. Brennan Lee Mulligan (Dimension 20) is far closer to the C1 style of fast, informal narration with very limited, specific instances where he would slow down for drama; there is no “narrator” character in his players’ story. D20 has a far more casual tone to its seasons than CR does in its campaigns. Luis Carazo (Tales Unrolled) narrates similarly to Matt, with a focus on instilling an emotional reaction for the players to deal with, and the players collaboratively join Luis as the narrator for their own characters; it’s a back and forth where the DM and players contribute to that additional presence. Tales Unrolled is on the opposite end of the spectrum from D20, with a clear feeling that it is a storytelling experience.

Again, choosing one narration style over another isn’t necessarily a flaw. However, I think varied narration is a tool that most DMs underutilize. If used carefully, adjusting narration styles within sessions on the fly could enhance the experience of an Actual Play campaign for everyone involved. It could be used as a signal to the players for what type of scene this will be or when a scene is shifting. It could also signal to performers in a show for pacing within an episode (hijinks are over, time for some drama; time to cool down from the tension).

But, as always, it’s easier to point stuff out like this than it is to do it in practice.

[holysupesbatman]

SuperBat Fic Recs

Woaaaah boy. I was in the Superbat tag and saw someone asking for recs and I got about 5 fics in before I realized that wouldn't fit in a reply and decided I should just make a whole post. I feel like I've read half of the Bruce/Clark tag on ao3 at this point and yet I still find more every time I look.

As a note, this post is heavily editorialized. These are all fics I've personally read and are here because I liked them and they come from my ao3 bookmarks. If you want better details about the fic, follow the links and check them out 🤷‍♀️ I'm a picky reader so the fact that it's on the list says a lot, though our tastes may vary.

Onto the recs! I'll organize them by ratings and then by length for simplicity and at the end I'll recommend some of my favorite SuperBat authors for further reading!

🦇

Rated: G

Uno Reverse by WixenBurr (~7k rated G) is really cute and fluffy

Summary: The batkids are trying to set Batman and Superman up. Unfortunately Bruce Wayne wants to date some rando news reporter named Clark Kent.

Rated: T

Know You Better by rotasha (~6k rated T)

super fluffy and cute. I adore this fic. Summary: Clark asks Bruce on a date, not knowing he’s a famous billionaire. Bruce says yes, because this is the first time this has ever happened to him.

I'm Not As Think As You Drunk I Am by Mardiaz173 (~13k rated T)

This one is SO much fun – Nobody believes Clark after he meets the supposed "flirty, stupid, entitled drunk" playboy billionaire Brucie Wayne when he says he's actually "clever, mischievous, and sober with an indecipherable ulterior motive."

Saudade by liodain (~20k rated T)

OK THIS ONE MAKES MY HEART MELT IT'S SO FLUFFY AND SWEET I CAN'T. Like put this on your re-read when you're sad and need to feel like love and goodness exist list. Bruce breaks down in Kansas in 2006 years before BvS and meets young Clark.

fallin' for him was like fallin' from grace by Resacon1990 (~23k rated T)

It's just 20k of Clark simping for Bruce. That's it. That's the fic. He's a golden retriever and he's in love, Your Honor. Bruce is not unaffected, but the pining is glorious.

summary: Or, five times Clark finds himself falling for Bruce, and the one time he does something about it

Mr. Romantic by Pandamomochan (~24k rated T)

ft Established Relationship SuperBat. Summary: Clark gets tasked to write a Valentine's Day article. The end result has every single women throwing themselves at him. Clark has always been patient with the drove of Brucie fans. Will Bruce be as mature with Clark's sudden popularity?

How to Date a Superhero by @solomonara (~25k rated T)

Technically a series of fics. Pure fluff. 1. Someone spots the Batman kissing Mild Mannered Reporter Clark Kent. Hijinks ensue. 2. Superman kissed Bruce Wayne in full view of several dozen phones. Now the whole world, including Lex Luthor, knows Superman has a boyfriend. But that's okay. Batman has a plan. 3. Deleted scenes from the How to Date a Superhero series, ruthlessly cut in most cases to prevent the Robins from taking over.

In every sense of the word by froggy-o (bobafiend) (~29k rated T) From the author's summary: Alternatively titled "Why Wonder Woman is on the verge of losing her fucking mind."

I swear this fic is just Diana's eyebrow twitching as she watches Bruce and Clark start dating and she's let in on both their civilian identities meanwhile Superman and Batman are on the watchtower arguing and disagreeing about basically everything on the daily. In the name of Justice, of course. The identity porn is on a whole other level and it was done so well.

Get Over It by rotasha (~32k rated T)

heh this one has plenty of identity hijinks. Sooooo funny. Summary: Bruce needs to get over his inconvenient feelings for Superman and he meets an attractive reporter who he thinks can help him do just that. Little does he know...

the cost of being a good dad by Mawiiish (~96k rated T)

hehehe... the batkids set up a dating profile for Bruce and catfish Clark. It's more of a blind date for Bruce (not that he had any idea he was going on a date at all), but who has Clark been texting for the past several weeks??? Oh yeah. The kids. What follows is as follows. Still with capes!

Rated: M

Guardian Dog by BombusBombus (~22k rated M)

Summary: There's something wrong with Clark Kent. He has to be a villain, right? A threat? He doesn't behave like a normal person, no matter how handsome or clever he may seem.

grasp his heart (once and for all) by liodain (~32k rated M) soulmate AU fic. Pretty emotional LOTS of identity issues going on there like so much. Kinda high on the drama and angst there honestly but it was a cute read. Summary: Bruce Wayne doesn't believe in fate.

tell all the truth (but tell it slant) by susiecarter (~33k rated M)

love me a fake dating AU. Summary: It takes a while for Batman and Superman to work things out, once Clark comes back from the dead. Pretending to date each other in order to explain why Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent are in the same place so often? Doesn't help as much as you might think.

Strangers When We Meet by Trista_zevkia (~63k rated M)

ANOTHER soulmate AU! This time feat. Kryptonian Biology hehehe. Summary: Clark Kent thought he was straight, until Batman kick started something. The question is what did Batman start? Is Brucie Wayne able to explain it to him?

ship-to-ship combat by pomeloquat (~77k rated M)

OK NO LISTEN this is one of my all-time favorite fics EVER. It's so meta and so funny. Clark is us. We are Clark. Clark is writing RPF for the Bruce/Batman ship and he's very convinced it's real EVEN THOUGH he has a huge crush on the Batman... let the hijinks BEGIN.

Rated: E

Embracing Destiny by Mithen (~8k rated E)

This one is just really really cute. Summary: As a member of the Legion of Super-Heroes in the 31st century, a teenaged Clark learns a stunning secret about his own future: he and someone called "Batman" will be legendary lovers.

perfect strangers by susiecarter (~15k rated E)

like. bruh. susie did it again. This tag says it all: communication failure. I love this one though. Summary: Batman and Superman are fucking. Bruce Wayne and Clark Kent are a great cover for fighting crime, and also might be dating. Bruce and Clark have no idea what they're doing; but they definitely aren't going to be able to talk themselves into stopping.

Relinquishing Control by foxyk (~25k rated E)

afsfwsdfhishdfksj no words. Read the authors summary and then just go read the fic:

Superman worries that if he lets go he'll injure his partner. Batman knows better. Batman worries that if he lets someone else in, he'll hurt them. Superman knows better.

Picture Perfect by TheSaltiestDog @the-saltiest-dog (~26k rated E)

this one is cute and then horny on main but also just so fluffy. Clark sees Bruce in a new light through candid shots, then proceeds to take lots of candid shots as they begin a relationship. Cue schmoop, fluff, smut, and – you guessed it! –Miscommunication!

A Night Off and sequel A Day Off by Mawiiish (~37k combined; first part is E, second is T)

One of my all-time favorites. My bookmark says 10/10 would read again soooooooo... 👀🤷‍♀️😅🥵

Bruce is enjoying one of his few nights off when a very persistent young man offers to buy him a drink. At first he's apprehensive; he's just here for a good time and this Clark seems to be looking for more than that. Then again, what harm can one drink do?

Clark wakes up to an empty bed and despite Bruce being honest from the start, he's still disappointed.

The Downsides to a Secret Identity by liodain (~42k rated E)

I'm currently reading this one – the summary from the author says it all, it's so good but sooo drama:

Bruce Wayne has taken a shine to Clark Kent, but Clark is more interested in the Bat of Gotham. The Bat, however, has it in for the Superman in a big way. Clark should probably have considered that before falling quite so hard. They're working together to track down some missing Kryptonian weaponry, after all...

50 Shades of Wayne by susiecarter (~161k rated E)

No but listen, this is actually so full of plot and emotional depth and not as much smut as you might think. It's a full-scale retelling of Batman v Superman but without them knowing each other's secret identities. I read it in one go... the reveal? Maybe the best I've ever read. Soooo many emotions. It's one of the few times I've read BDSM in a fic and it actually felt in character. I wasn't sure I would read it when I started, but it was a compelling read and extremely well done. Honestly, I'd read it again.

SuperBat Author Shoutouts:

susiecarter @susiecarter

liodain @liodain

Resacon1990 @sassyresacon1990

shipyrds @burins

Mawiiish @superbattrash

rotasha

Mithen

[ceaselesswatchersspecialboy]

Do the twins ever get attached to stanfraud? Does bill get attached to them too? what is their relationship like? and what is their immediate reaction to finding out everything was a lie -- first impressions? GAAHH I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS i'm ur biggest fan bro

Thank you so much!! It really means a lot that people are enjoying my madness this much!

It’s funny because earlier I was actually doodling him and the twins!

He absolutely gets attached and they get attached in return. While their initial introduction to him is very rocky, they come to enjoy his quirks and unusual interests, especially once Dipper puts together he was the author, and he regularly supervises them on adventures, mainly because Stan asked him too, but also because it’s strangely fun. He will repeatedly claim he hasn’t gone soft to Stan, but then Stan will find him fast asleep with the twins curled up against him, or he’ll catch him helping the twins in their respective Dipper and Mabel’s guide videos. He also likes Mabel Juice! Mabel won’t take his suggestion of adding eyeballs though. Alas.

His feelings towards them are made complicated by his own denial. He doesn’t like the idea that he’s changed much at all, and these new doubts he’s experiencing about his original plans are not thoughts he’s willing to entertain for long. He gets snappy when Stan tries to reassure him it’s okay that he cares, because he doesn’t care, he’s just… playing a role. That’s all. It’s all one big lie. He can do lies. But that doesn’t really explain the genuine panic he experiences when Dipper and Mabel are in danger, and how quickly he jumps in to protect them nor does it explain the fuzzy feeling in his chest when Mabel knits him a sweater.

He’s not the same as he was thirty years ago. That’s a fact. And thirty years was once just a blip for him, but this has felt like he’s lived a whole new life.

And on the flip side, Dipper and Mabel care a lot too. He’s off-putting and he’s strange and he says some things that imply he may have committed murder and gotten away with it, but they like being around him. It isn’t always perfect, same as it is with Stan, but the rougher patches don’t tend to last, and they reconcile by the end of the day (although, Bill is usually incapable of saying sorry verbally and shows his apology through actions instead).

Dipper for one hasn’t really had anyone he can just ramble about nerd stuff with. Bill can actually keep up with Dipper, and they both find themselves enjoying the debate they have about inter dimensional travel, or what sort of haunting would be the most annoying to deal with. Dipper does sometimes catch his uncle looking at him strangely though, almost as though he’s seeing right through Dipper and looking at someone else, but he blinks and the odd look is gone, so he must have imagined it.

Bill does sometimes push Dipper’s buttons, of course, and never gives him direct answers, usually making him look for the answer himself, or read between the lines, which Dipper comes to appreciate as it, so he claims, trains his mind for mysteries. They have a very fun back and forth, honestly. Dipper thinks Stanfraud is the coolest despite all the annoyances, and he really does try his best to impress him.

Mabel meanwhile is just her usual bundle of energy, and charms her great uncle by involving him in her unhinged hijinks, and showing him the art of glitter bombing. She meets him where he’s at! Even though he can sometimes be a little extreme, even for her, she pushes herself out of her comfort zone, mainly because of what Stan told her, about how Ford lost his mind while alone. Well, she can’t have that! She makes a real effort trying to understand him, and why he thinks the way he does.

He also weirdly gives her some good advice whenever Pacifica tries to bring her down, and Mabel is both comforted and inspired by how weird he is, even in his old age. He never lets anyone shame him out of it, and he encourages Mabel to just “Be weird! Your fleshbag life is short! Why waste it caring what lesser skin puppets think?”

Bill unknowingly allows both Dipper and Mabel to feel more comfortable in themselves because of how unapologetically ‘him’ he is.

Sorry if this is messy, by the way, I’m just writing my thoughts as I go along.

Anywho, I think all of this makes finding out everything was a lie very hard hitting for them. Mabel tries to rationalise it, that sure, maybe he wasn’t really their Grunkle, but he still loved them like he was, and they loved him like a Grunkle, meanwhile Dipper reacts very negatively, because he really thought he had found someone like him, someone he confided a lot in, and now he thinks he made the wrong choice, that he was an idiot.

And Stan lied too. He admits the biggest mistake he made was not telling them, but it’s too late for that now.

The one bright side, if you can call it that, is Stan and Bill do tell them before they get Ford back. They think they’ve finally found the way to do it, and Stan wants the kids to know before they try it, give them time to process.

Okay I’ll end there for now! Thank you so much again!