#just needed to vent ty

[bg-brainrot]

In the past 4 weeks I've been uh going through it a bit.

Cw: lots of complaining and personal stuff below

Worst birthday to date (and my parents used to forget my birthday regularly)

Partner got into a car accident (mostly fine, but the car isn't)

My phone broke, new ones are way more expensive than I remember them being 🥲

Being told by my manager that I 'do not care enough' after several 12 hour days

Then after having to crunch severely, only to be told that we might not have a job in a few weeks so stop working (also mourning the loss of our project 😭)

Cat being sick repeatedly

Finding out that my only support system and family is potentially moving away

I'm surviving but it feels like I'm one bad thing away from just falling over. Anyway! I'm lucky to have what I do. And I'll be fine, I always am lol.

[alaskan-wallflower]

(vent in the tags and under the cut. don’t read if you don’t want.)

sometimes i wonder if people would care if i was gone. there’s just no point anymore tbh.

[berryblu-soda]

Anyways update i just didnt bother to post earlier:

fr God is good and the whole car crash my parents got into last week was so incredibly mild in terms of injuries!!!! worst was a bruised knee im pretty sure

ALSO-

*taps mic* HUG YOUR FREAKING LOVED ONES OR SO HELP ME!!!!!!!

[roaringheat]

chat, i did it i finally broke up with my partner

[trash-bin-ary]

I can go on that ramble about the future and housing and aromanticism though now. It’s like man, the future is already something that is so inconceivable to me. To then have the sexuality that does not allow me to slot in the cookie cutter you find a romantic partner that you end up moving in with is terrible. And like In this economy I sure can’t live alone, and I know at least when I’m sick I desperately want someone to be there. And then there’s I’m likely to move around a bunch how do you deal with that housing, other than the work having paid housing. like constantly having to find somewhere that’s looking for roommates and it isn’t terrible? And then long term, when I find a job I stay at for a while (that’s remote so I’d love to live in a remote place) is it like I find a place to stay and then I’m stuck there forever and I just have to hope that I make good friends at this new place. (Friends that don’t want to live exclusively with a romantic partner no less.) I want to live with close friends so bad and I’m not sure if that’s a feasible thing for my future. I’m a person that has so much hope so I have to assume that yes it will work out, I do believe that. But man just hearing someone mention it, sparks that hope.

[xannerz]

if i don’t get a raise tomorrow.

[vaguely-annoyed]

(<- is having fun doing smth social) why does my chest hurt

[fagsex]

im just so tired of no one caring im in pain at this point like genuinely. my doctor cant remember my name or even the country i was born in. my family is annoyed throughout the day and night because im always coughing and i cant do anything and i just laze about in my bed all day like a slob or whatever. no one i mean fucking no one in my group of irl friends has messaged me about where i am or what im doing since ive missed school. people i sit next to and talk to every single day and for nearly three years. and no one cares. i wont even see them again probably ever in like two months and even after i return i wont be able to go anywhere with them.

im scared to go anywhere or eat anything and everyone hates me for being lazy and treats me like its my fault i got fucking pneumonia or some shit. you know where i got it? taking off school to take care of my little brother so my parents could get shit done. i have 2 written and 3 oral final exams in the next month. then 2 more written and the grand oral in june. and yet next month im still skipping a week of school to take care of my siblings again. and theyre still pissed im going to take a gap year after i graduate. (note: im not like 17 or some shit i had to this redoubling BS when i arrived because i didnt speak any fucking french).

im just so tired. everything hurts. i pant like a dog when the airs too cold. i cough when i lay down to sleep and when i sleep and when i wake up and when i look at a dust molecule wrong. i already have chronic migraines, now this. im just so fucking tired and i hurt so much and no one cares. very strange! at least theres football in a couple months. and i got 30 bucks for 12 hours of babysitting my siblings without full lung capacity or internet. maybe ill get a cool shirt. i guess

[jrueships]

plz tell us more ABT gg!

u guys don't know how happy i am to get this ask, man!! ive been ROOTING for good things to come with gg !! a little quietly at the beginning bcs i didn't want to add more pressure onto the lil guy, but man. im so glad things are going well for him!!! he's had a.. challenging start, to say, for a career in the NBA... at least regarding public opinion, anyways.

I'm a fan of UNC basketball, that's how I heard abt GG in the first place. For necessary background, UNC is a Big basketball school that hailed Michael Jordan, hence how i'm a fan bcs Chicago duh. GG isnt from North Carolina, but he IS from SOUTH carolina (remember this), so UNC was definitely trying to recruit him using homefield advantage and big name BCS GG was hyped to be a big FUTURE talent. Keyword being future. The main conflicts in GG's basketball journey were: going into college a year early.. and going into the NBA a year early. Basically, in his 'freshman' year of college.. he was actually (supposed to be) a HIGHSCHOOL senior. AND NOW.. in his first year in the nba.. he's actually supposed to be a FRESHMAN in COLLEGE. Going into things early isn't new in the nba.. but to do it twice? It can double the average challenges.

UNC was one of the mainstream stems from that 1st conflict. Short summary, GG originally committed to NORTH carolina for 79 days. Took the pictures, all that. UNC was stoked to have him as a player whose talents they could help mold. GG was projected, at one point in HIGHSCHOOL to be # 1! Which makes it sound silly for UNC to have work in PROGRESS plans for GG and not INSTANT stardom set up. But we have to keep in mind the FIRST CONFLICT: GG reclassified from highschool early. All these projections & hype are very preemptive. NOW IF HES A HIGHSCHOOL SENIOR who did FOUR years of lower school.. and the hype has CONTINUED throughout those 4 years.. then the narrative maybe wouldve been different in terms of training. Gg's skills would be more trusted than trained since he has the stability in years and evidence of backing claims. Projections would turn into points. But he didn't. And that's fine!! That's more than fine for UNC because they have basketball history! They have proven tools and methods to help turn the number 23 into the name MICHAEL JORDAN. UNC FANS and UNC itself were excited to have GG on as a future eventual sophomore star at the LEAST! They were excited to show GG how to sharpen his young skills using their own very skillful roster!

And then GG decommited for a college closer to where he's from (South Carolina). Now you would think UNC would be mad because they view it as 'betrayal' to their 'great rival south', but... they don't. Because south carolina is. Not their great rival. At least not as much anymore. It used to be, there's OLD history, but.. now it's just history because UNCs been creating NEW history. It's UNC versus DUKE now. It's UNC entering bigger basketball, and South? It's not really doing that.

UNC fans are mad not because of the name of the school, but the game of it. South Carolina simply does not have the same depth, training, resources, and stardom as UNC. That's why they're not really rivals anymore.. UNC's outgrown South in terms of basketball skill. The decommital wasn't exactly an insult of namebrand, but of pure, raw skill.

GG went to South because it wasn't as skilled. That's what all the UNC people who are hurt about it say. I don't personally share the same hurt, but i can see the reason. Kids can choose big schools that can nuture them into an eventual big name later on, which means you can risk your pick in the draft being lower from so many big fish sharing the same ocean, but it can help you seem more solid and safe as an option so you WILL eventually be picked (talking abt like maxey and keldon going to Kentucky. Didn't get picked too high, but still got picked anyways), or go to a small school with a smaller pool so you have all the room to show off your talent.. with the risk of showing off your weaknesses as well from the bigger burden of being the star backbone. Stand out more, get stung more. And GG got... he got stung pretty bad.

I don't care what future prospects do, tbh. Im not the kind of guy who's like 'LOOK AT THIS 9FT TALL 9 YEAR OLD!! IMAGINE HIM IN THE 20XX DRAFT!!!' like girl. i could be dead by the time he becomes a teen or smthin. Im not gonna worry abt some child bcs. Like. Im normal lol. They have their own worries, and i have my own worries. Sadly, not a lot of people think like that... especially people who like college sports. Idk if it's a variation of that one person who keeps visiting their old highschool 'stomping grounds' or What. But they feel like a certain entitlement to their college and who enters it. GG going to a smaller basketball 'pool' (talent terms) school was a lowblow to their 'UNC COLLEGE PRIDE' or whatever. 5 star talent is decommitting from a 5 star talent college to a . A 1 star. Oh my gosh, you woulda thought these grown men considered it a stabbing from their own son. Their wouldve been next Michael jordan just walked out to go to community college, in dramatized words.

' but GG IS from SOUTH carolina! He's not from North! It makes sense, at least, for him to want to stay at his hometown even though it's smaller! Like ant! ' but unlike ant.. he only did 3 years of highschool. Ant did 4, built up both SOLID and big hype, then denied big schools for his home team Straight Up. When GG wanted to stay closer to home, it showed less loyalty and more selfishness .. to the press anyways.. BECAUSE he's ONLY done 3 years! Only has 3 years of resume! To UNC, gg should be GRATEFUL to even be CONSIDERED by them RIGHT now. If he had 4 years and KEPT UP a STRONG hype, then it'd be reversed. But it's not. GG is too young, UNC is too stacked, and South is too desperate.

GG goes to South Carolina. He even filmed a little tiktok with his friends poking fun at his decommitment from big UNC to South. It was a little light thing that quickly got deleted, but on social media.. nothing is light and nothing is ever Really deleted. You can still find the video and you can still find the insulted UNC fans under it. It's just more evidence of how young he is and how naive he is to burdens regarding business. So anyways, he goes to South Carolina... and he doesn't do what he was hyped to do. It was too much pressure, too much scarcity of help. The coach, who's close to GG bcs hes the best thing they have to a 'star', despite how young he is.. They're that bare bones, sees how all these minutes are doing more harm to GG's stock than help like college minutes for any player is supposed to, and tries sitting him out more as a solution. Tries writing plays that'll set GG up for maybe an assist but not a point, definitely not points because he just hasn't been getting them and if the NBA didn't see it back then during smaller scale highschool.. they definitely see it in college. They definitely see it in a SMALL basketball college, when there isnt a lot of other teammates to stare at or depend on. Big Scale UNC fans CERTAINLY see it after GG politely then not-so politely turned down their 'token of kindness' for.. what's shaping up to be a big mistake.

GG does not take very well to that. ONE OF the ups on why he chose this school of namebrand UNC (im not saying it's the ONLY reason, like some angered Unc fans may, but im also not saying it Not one to be considered . Im just bringing general observations that are either heavily backed or confirmed by fact) is for those HEAVY minutes. He was hyped to be their star, but he's not getting those deep save the game minutes he expected. He was supposed to get all the plays, and now he's getting some. So he does what ANY kid does nowadays and rants his frustrations out on social media

that doesn't go well. He can't be a kid, not according to college, not when you set yourself up to be the leader of a team. When you take on big tasks, you take on big blame as well. That goes double in sports. It's a bit harsh, if you ask me, but no one's asking.

So now he has all this doubt in his head. And his dad isn't an athlete, he's a pastor, so he's telling GG to have faith and to have faith and faith and faith, but what if it's FAKE? what if UNC was right in telling him he can't shoulder this alone. What if everyone was right. What if he's selfish. So he enters the draft and it's SPECULATED that he didn't do well.

People are saying the person who dropped it then dropped so low in the draft because of it is him. People in the nba and out of it. I'm not saying it's true or it's not, we don't know, but i do know that having a rumor like THIS on you? When you're so young?? Is not good. At all. Combine that with his less than positive living to the solo hype at South? And you get this.

GG crying at his own draft party because of how poorly he's doing.

Just looking at the photo alone just fuckin. Splits the heart for me. He's a KID!! he's a KID! i don't know if it just hits harder for me bcs ive BEEN to draft parties where the draft never happened, or maybe because we're like one year apart in youth, like im not that 'discontented nothing better to do in my life' adult yet like a lot of his long-term haters have been.. but like. That sucks. That's awful to see. His coach, the same person GG openly criticized on social media, being in his ear CONSOLING him.. keeping him from bawling in front of all these people.. telling him he could always come back to college and give it another year and GG doesn't even know if he should do that or not is.. it's painful!! GG set this party up BANKING off the Hope, the FAITH that the hype he had back in HIGHSCHOOL, those THREE years.. was STRONG enough to get him drafted not top 10 but at least first ROUND?? And that sounds stupid now, it sounds silly, it sounds grandiose, and it is. It has to be because he WAS the projected #1 pick at some point. He WAS a lottery pick. And now he doesn't even know if he's gonna be picked at all because of what? Because he had faith? Because he betted on himself? He listened to his dad?? He's a kid??????

That's what a Lot of people wanted for him. They CRAVED it. They WANTED him to fail BECAUSE he's young and because he's made mistakes and because it happens. It's unfair for other possibilities. Famous failure is different than mere familiar failure. It just tastes better.

I care about GG because I think some people, who have no business to, care about him Too much. I'm just happy he's managed to do what makes him happy because not everyone can, so it's a blessing that he can and I love that for him. I don't care about GG bcs he 'proved the haters wrong blahblah blah', because he really didn't. He went in young, took the harder option, and got his draft history hurt because of it. Shit happens. He's clearly learning, he's clearly improving, and he's clearly happy.

And i like when people are happy. Idk, maybe im just sick :)

[mooodyblue]

tags again. ignore me 🥸

[fawnforgold]

can’t tell if i’m falling out of love for writing fanfic or if i’ve just been super stressed out lately ahaha

[navysealt4t]

there’s just. blegh. like my parents don’t have to outright say ‘i hate trans ppl’ to make me feel unsafe in this house

[sateurn]

😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

These sobs really limited my tags?????

I have so many more thoughts this is so so much less than 1/2. Broski. Big dislike

[girlyliondragon]

I have online therapy next week and yet I still feel like I have to bottle up shit around others to keep from off my ass, man isn't mental health great. /s

So yeah anyways I'm gonna really hope I don't relapse until then or am pushed to do so. It's just a week away, feels like eons. >.>'''

[ddeonudepressions]

Dearest wifeu of mine <333

I have to thank you <333 for so so much, for listening to me endlessly ramble about things, for being with me when I was having a hard time with the situation and reminding me to eat, drink and to take care of myself. And reminding me that maybe it’s a good thing to let go of some stuff and trying to make a new start with no people hating on me for stupid reasons and letting more friendships blossom and take back the old friendships while staying true to myself and not overworking. Your friendship means the world to me and I’m so so so so so grateful we’re wifeus, and friends anytime I see you anywhere on my dash talking to anyone it makes my day and your writing (while you say you hate it) I say it’s amazing, 🥹 you put a lot of thought into it and I can see you worked hard 🩷 I hope this week and all the others are easier on you and not too busy, remember never ever hesitate to reach out to vent or ramble because I’m always gonna be here for you Angel. I love you! 

fuck yew i cried.

i love u too ❤️

[kitnita]

also obviously i keep going on trips w my sister because i like. enjoy spending time w her or whatever but i really need to STOP enjoying her company because without FAIL every time i get back home i get sooooo sick. i can feel it building in my bones & by bones i mean lungs and by ‘it’ i mean the horrible cough i will probably have for the next week. this never happens when i travel without her (lie) so i really think she is the problem which is unfortunate because while on vacation she & i impulse bought tickets to the mlb all star game and will be going to seattle in like. a month. so i’m gonna get big summer sick TWICE this year rip.