#ok i will stop talking now
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kennt jemand diese spotify apotheken shop werbung mit christian ulmen & günther jauch. this is what i imagine german old man yaoi sounds like
#they have a kind of.#ernie & bert dynamic in that clip#????#and said clip is like. under a minute long#sooooo#maybe don't listen to me#:'D#my brain has been yaoi poisoned for decades now ugh :')#i also kinda ship isaac newton x andreas scheuer von der anstalt :'D#this would be#german toxic old man yaoi#ok i will stop talking now#deutschblr#deutsches zeug#german stuff
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tags again. ignore me 🥸
#hello venting again#i have not been doing very well#and i am very sad that i can't ever fully regress n have to just put it all into my writing#and i want a cg !!! i want to ramble abt my interests to someone n show off my pretty little pictures !!!!#and it also sucks because a few weeks ago i lost everything i used for my regression forever and starting over sucks so bad#all my plushies r gone and i only have a few now and i don't have many coloring books anymore which is the worst part of it#n i've been like ... considering joining that side of tumblr too but i rly can't be bothered to make another blog :(#i am just#vvvvvv sad#i always have to be big cuz i have to check on ppl or someone might need me for something i can never be fully tiny n i hate itttttt#n i know i need this badly right now cause my brain has not been treating me very well recently and i'm trying to not Do Bad Things#but i'm grateful for this blog cuz i can ramble abt elvie n my love for him without feeling like i'm annoying anyone but#i still feel so aloneeeee#nobody is gonna read this but if u do that's my bad#ty for listening to my vent#sometimes i have to wonder if being here is a curse or a blessing bc writing is what made me feel more comfy abt my regression but#now im sad bc i can't even be little majority of the time#ok i will stop talking now#lily.txt
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if we could stay connected, just like this
#ok last orbit niigo post im emubrained again and also i miss leoneed#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#mizuki5 spoilers#proseka#mizuki akiyama#mizu5#nightcord at 25:00#hurray !#meltdown released an amazing translation of the event so i read it and had my final cathartic transgender cry about it#and now i have ~4 assignments due on friday so i have to stop drawing mizuki. sad.#i recommend everyone watch meltdown's translation#please. its very good and better than the mtls floating around#i Get why people wanted to see it translated asap like i Get it i didnt understand half of the wordplay or kanji but like . wah#its so crazy how this event breached containment n how many people are rooting for mizuki even tho they dont play the game so i just#think its a shame that the translation everyones reading isnt really accurate/lacks the nuances.. Ok sorrynits a good event.#ive just been thinking abiut that for a few days and i love talking in tags. Adios#real Orbit heads will know this is an Heartorbit reference (that tarot card sketch i did almost 2 years ago and said i would finish)#(i havent finished shit)
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tomorrow :)
#TRIGUN MAXIMUM SPOILERS#trigun maximum#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#ok...... one more......... yall can have a little vashwood as a treat......#i actually love them so much SO BADLY but u prob wouldnt b able to tell bc i dont post a lot of ship art#but trimax vashwood. holay shit. hydrogen bomb yaoi#ive also just been like. digging into so much post-canon vashwood (<- sad and delusional and coping)#LIKE DONT GET ME WRONG I LOVE LOVE LOVEEE WOLFWOOD'S CHARACTER ARC and i think [redacted] is SO IMPORTANT AND VITAL TO THE STORY#BOTH THEMATICALLY AND FOR VASH'S CHARACTER ARC. i literally would not have it any other way unfortunately </3 BUT A PERSON CAN STILL DREAM!#ok ya ill stop talking now bc i think i could talk about them and think about them forever.. *scratching the back of my head*
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I need codependent Danny/Jason as a little treat (for me) and I love the idea of them having some sort of instant connection the moment they meet (bc ghost stuff idk)
Danny who's been dropped in Gotham with no way home (alt universe??) and he's been here for 36 hours and having a Very bad time senses a liminal being and immediately latches onto them heedless of the fact that his new best friend is shooting at some seedy guys in an alley and goes off about how stressed he is and how he can't make it back to the ghost zone and what a bad day he's been having (and it's important to note Danny is a littol ghost boy literally hanging off of Jason's neck as he floats aimlessly) and Jason is like "who are you??" And Danny is like "oh sorry I'm Danny lol" and then just continues lamenting his woes
And honestly ? This might as well happen. Nothing about this Danny guy(is he human?) gives Jason a bad vibe and tbh he's never felt more calm and level headed before so he just keeps up his usual Red Hood patrol and doesn't even think about it when he heads back to a safehouse and feeds Danny dinner (breakfast) before crashing for half the day
The only thing I actually need is Jason meeting up with the bats for some sort of Intel meeting and they're like "uhhh who's that" and Jason is like "that's Danny." And does not elaborate (very ".... What do you have there?" "A smoothie" vibes)
And it takes them a while to realize that these two have known each other for less than 12 hours and are literally attached at the hip
#very remora fish with a shark#jason todd#danny fenton#danny phantom#dpxdc#dp x dc#this isnt super important but i imagine Danny's ghost form as young and unaged from his death so jason is used to this small whispy kid#who just hangs off him and talks literally all the time#so when something comes up and someone is like 'idk if we can bring danny looking like... that' (glowing and a literal ghost)#danny is like 'oh ok u need a human? ok :)' and transforms#its been WEEKS#jason didn't know he could do that#nobody did#and now theres this 20ish dude standing there#human form danny doesn't talk a lot (anxiety) ghost form danny can't stop talking (anxiety)#could be a ship fic and at this point jason goes from 'where is my little buddy :(' to 👀😳#i imagine theres a sort of feedback loop with them both feeding off of each other's ecto energies and vibes idk#so when danny is human its not as strong#batman is convince this strange entity is like hypnoyizing his son and like hes not WRONG#but it goes both ways#idk#i just need more codependency fics :(#i should go on a bender#ignore my 500 open tabs and go to town
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So remember me in a softer light
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#megumi fushiguro#fushiguro megumi#megumi#fanart#jjk fanart#sighs and theres 3/3#this one also suffers from lack of meaning lack of impact now imo :(#still a good piece still a good Mood#but my meaning....................#it is like a scooped out pumpkin 2 me. nothing in it.#but that is ok bc it means megumi can still come back !#i will stop complaining i will stop tempting fate i do not want to create death omens unless it becomes inevitable#megumi i believe in u believe in the me that believes in you#anyway i dont know if ive ever talked abt it but i LOVE in fic when megumi's hair is described as 'inky' like YA THTS THE GOOD STUFF#i dont often make his hair entirely jet black in pieces but whenever i do or whenever the grey/blue i use is dark enough#i always taste the word inky in my mind n it makes me go >:D#when the black cuts against th skin tones .... Stark contrast no values.....delicious i shld do that more#OH YA OBLIGATORY FV CAPTION: OVERTONE#not a very megu song but i love the lyrics
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more of my swap au.. hi siffrin!!! hi!!!!!!!
first au post
#in stars and time#isat#isat siffrin#isat au#in stars and time au#siffrin… housemaiden siffrin…. (normal)#im tweaking out#just wanna say i’ve been working on this au for abt. a month. and just never posted#i don’t want anybody to think i’m copying anybody LOL#hes my little goop.. love him#im very normal about him and odiles dynamic in this au!!! will talk ab them eventuallyy..#mirabelle and his dynamic aswell due to their complicated relationships with religion in this#ok i’ll stop yapping now#byee <3333
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do you think this might affect phandom conversations for a bit? like are we getting back to “we shouldn’t speculate” and people bringing up this screenshot to reinforce that?
some people are going full force with that already yes 👍 like what the fuck ever at this point, if you're stupid just say that. i'm so over it. it's like people have zero object permanence and only ever go by the latest thing they heard. dan and phil told a journalist to mind their business? that must mean they actively hate any and all mentions of their relationship even from their fans who they are currently performing a stage show more or less about their relationship for. like can we be so fucking serious. no a random ass reporter trying to get a quote for their front page is not the same as you making phan memes come ON. but again like, whatever, they can think what they want i guess. anyone who wants to have a boring ass time in this fandom because they can't utilise critical thinking to save their fucking life is free to do so lmao
#im SOOOOOOOO over all of this bullshit#quite fucking frankly dan and phil deserve less moronic fans like it's SHOCKING sometimes how dense people can be#sorry i'm in a mood about it <3#ok lets all stop talking about this now#i love being like ugh this is gonna cause drama and then participating in said drama#my forte#answered
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i can't express enough how much i LOVE this gif this is literally everything they are to me
the father/son duo ever (+ bonus evilness)
#exar talks#like you do not understand#eggman being proud of metal and accidentally embarassing him like#“DAD. STOP PATTING ME ON THE BACK. WE ARE ON LIVE TELEVISION AND SONIC IS LIKELY WATCHING”#then he just tries to pretend it didn't happen and clutches looking cool anyway#eggman being a proud robo dad be so fr#like. i love when their dynamic is portrayed this way#i would like to see more of metal sonic and eggman acting like relatives#anyway actual tags now#sth#sonic the hedgehog#metal sonic#eggman#dr eggman#doctor robotnik#doctor eggman#ivo robotnik#dr ivo robotnik#sth metal sonic#metal sonic sth#I JUST WANT METAL SONIC TO BE LOVED FOR ONCE OK!?!?!??!?!?!??!!?!?!
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EDYN TIDESTRIDER, CHALLENGER OF THE UNDERSEA, RIVAL OF THE DEEP. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR BROTHER WAS CHOSEN TO BE A WEAPON OF THE GODS? HOW WILL YOU UNDO WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO HIM?
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#edyn tidestrider#cw blood#EDYYYNNNN TTIDESTRIDERRR OHH HOW I LOVE HERRRR#THIS IS A PAGE FULLA REEAALLY OLD DOODLES AND REALLY REALLY OLD DOODELS AND NEW DOODLES. ENJOY.#ONLY CLEANED IT UP A BUNCH TTODAY AND IM ACTUALLY SO SO HAPPY W IT WEEEEE#WHAT WAS IT LIKE? DOWN IN THE UNDERSEA. TO VISIT YOUR BROTHER WHENEVER THE ADULTS WOULD LET YOU#A KID WHO DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS GOING ON OR WHY HER BROTHER WAS BEING TAKEN AWAY OR WHY HE KEEPS GETTING HURT#OR WHY THE ADULTS JUST KEEP LETTING IT HAPPEN. ITS FOR THE BEST? FATE OF THE WORLD AND ALL THAT? HEY WHO THE FUCK IS IN CHARGE HERE#HOW DO WE STOP IT. HOW DO I STOP IT. THERES PEOPLE OUT THERE WORKING ON SOMETHING. ARITIFICIAL LEVIATHAN YOU SAY?#WE COULD BUILD A THING TO RIVAL THE GODS. WELL. SIGN ME UP. IM GOING TO UNDO WHAT THEY DID TO YOU#WHAT A FASCINATING THING SHE ACTUALLY SAID. 'IM GOING TO UNDO WHAT THEY DID TO YOU' HELLO?? EDYN? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN#WHAT EXACTLY DID THEY DO TO HIM. OTHER THAN THE PROPHECY TRAINING. YOU CAN UNDO THAT? YOU CAN UNDO ALL THAT? HOW?? HELLO???#LIKE SURE I JUST SPOUTED MY THEORIES I THINK SHE WANTS TO KILL GOD BUT THATS JUSTA THEORY... A GA#WHAT IS EDYNS GOAL AND WHY CANT SHE TELL ANYONE OOUUUHHH EDYNNNN CMERE EDYNN CMERRE STOP WALKING AWAY CMERE. COME HERE.#fuuuuuck shes so mysteriousss what is she HIDING!!shes also so so so so angry i fucken know she is. shes so gentle and so sweet and timid#but she is ANGRY and shes SMART and clearly shes AMBITIOUS bc shes TALKING TO THE FUCKING BIG HEAD HONCHO O THE FUCKEN NNAAAVYYYYY#ALSO WHO IS NICHOLAS. IF THATS EVEN HIS REAL NAME. WHO DID YYYOU MEET EDYN. DO YOU HAVE A WISH TO BE GRANTED EDYN???#CHEWING ON THE BARS O MY CELL I NNNNEEEEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT EDYN IM SO CURIOUS IMG ONNA KILL PEOPLE#i said once in another post 'the oath an eldest sister takes on is on par w that of a paladins-#-and sometimes upheld w the very same ferocity'. I REALLY LIKED THAT LINE.#pleeese... if u can hear me.. pls join me and draw edyn w unbridled plasmatic rage abt the way her brother was treated by the Elders#also pls draw her SCARY. I NEED HER TO BE SSCARY. PLEEASEE I NEED HER TO BE JUST AS VIOLENT AS GILLION BUT INA ICE COLD WAY#JUST AS VIOLENT JUST AS STRONG JUST AS MUCH OF AN AQUATIC MONSTER. im sure u see the vision.#ok i gotta go t bed now i got work in tha morning n i should nnot be stayin up this late. if u hav thoughts abt edyn pls scream abt em#okay byyyyeee goodniiigihhttttt
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words cannot describe how happy i am that heket remains lamb's #1 hater in the entire world even after her cleansing
#i haven't drawn anyone from this game other than monch in so long. lmao#the new update has infused me with so many THOUGHTS!! it's driving me CRAZY#i had to draw this scene because this dialogue makes me sooo . happy. i love how angry she is. i love that she STAYS angry.#while everyone else feels more at peace she's still pissed off and i love that for her. heket they could never make me hate you#i think. while i don't much care for the bishops overall because i'm an npc enjoyer until the end. i think this solidified#heket as my favorite bishop . like I wish they didn't heal her voice for whatever fucking reason BUT. i can ignore mm's stupid ass decision#and focus on the less stupid ass decisions. <3#ok i'm done talking now. i drew this impulsively i can't stop thinking about this scene#cult of the lamb#cotl#cotl heket#cotl lamb#cotl unholy alliance#cotl spoilers#clamart
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This came to me in a vision at 11pm one night
#when I was drawing this all I was thinking was#the gay people on tumblr will love this#lol anyways#prismo the wishmaster#fionna and cake#adventure time#art#my art :d#prohibitedwish#comic#this was done on my new tablet if you guys even care lol#it’s good btw#if you care :)#ok I’ll stop talking now lol#enjoy your silly comic#scarab#scarab the god auditor
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What if I straight up didn't explain myself? What if I just said trust me on this? Would you?
#fe warriors three hopes#mercedes von martritz#miklan anschutz gautier#we really only need to clarify this is STRICTLY warriors miklan and i think ive already condemned myself but i accept it#i am very sorry but the person i usually would talk to about rare pairs has been a bit busy so i couldnt go to them to get it out that way#so art is the only way i have you have to understand its not my fault (its my fault)#did you guys know i reset the azure gleam map three times before googling the chapter where he dies to try and save him#no i dont think he deserves to be pardoned for what hes done but i liked that w3h gave him a small chance to be better FOR HIMSELF#no i dont think he should simply be forgiven for everything he did but i do like that he was given humanity and how#he was still not a good guy but damn you guys i think about that npc sometimes#who says that they admired him becoming something despite being a criminal bc if miklan can do it whats stopping them from being better ?#like that npc stuck with me a while ok#just ......... there are a lot of thoughts here that i dont think many of you care to read even in tags so ill stop now#i will say the canvas is saved as speed run to cancellation lesgo
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A couple of years ago, just before the start of the pandemic, I started having panic attacks when I'd sit down to draw anything. I don't know why, but it came on suddenly and got worse the more I tried to fight it.
Eventually, I stopped forcing myself to try, but I still felt guilty for not being able to produce anything. It's weird when you spend most of your life as "the artsy person" and then it stops.
I felt like most of my value as a person came from what I was outputting. If I couldn't draw then what was I good for? If I were just better, worked harder, even enjoyed drawing more, then I could've made a career out of art and then I could like myself.
Honestly, the best thing I've done for myself after that started happening was letting it go and moving on to something else. I started gardening. I've been reading books a lot. I picked up bass guitar and joined a band.
Getting into music in particular made me realize how awful my attitude towards drawing had gotten. It feels like how drawing used to feel like to me, when I was a kid.
I've made so much progress in the last year since I started learning bass, and it's because I have a willingness to try difficult things and fail-- the act of doing it is fun.
I've met fun people, I've played gigs (which would've been unthinkable even a year ago), and I'm feeling a lot better about myself.
I have a well of curiosity driving me that's been missing for awhile. I'm seeking out social interactions with musicians who are better than me, whereas I had closed myself off from working with other artists because I never felt good enough.
And most importantly, I don't feel like if I fail, it's a reflection of myself as a human-- it's just part of the process. If I suck at it, who gives a shit? Participating has more value than perfection. If my feelings get ugly, I can move onto the next thing. There's more stuff in the world to experience than any of us can ever get to. It's fine if this is just one of them.
Since I've had that realization, I've been slowly able to draw again. I can recognize the destructive thoughts when they're happening, even if I can't fully stop them yet. It's been A LOT easier if I'm drawing something for someone else instead of myself.
I'm hoping in the next year I can get even more of the enjoyment back, but if not, I'll still be ok.
#no idea why I'm posting this but I've wanted to talk about it for awhile now#all this to say-- if you grow to hate the thing you do it's ok to stop or take a break#and re-experience the excitement and curiosity of a hobby that isn't tied to your self worth#forcing yourself to commit to something you hate feels like an inefficient use of time here on earth#like if it were a game you wouldn't put all your effort into a stat that had an active debuff on it#you'd focus on something else for awhile to take advantage of the boosted growth rate lol#tldr i touched grass and it was good for me#simon says a lot of things
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it doesnt need to be said but its genuinely so funny how at-the-hip charles and erik are in krakoa like they really had the green light- the OBLIGATION- to be as obnoxiously close to each other as possible and abused that right to the fullest extent
#xmen#xmen comic#krakoa#cherik#snap chats#until the divorce of course but until then its actually so funny#how you really couldnt go a page or two without one or the other and the other one was close behind#ice climber ass duo over here. the delightful children from down the lane kind of proximity what the fuck was their PROBLEM#i feel like if one of them was teleported the other would just materialize right next to them thats how close they were#fuuuck what was the issue where sabretooth and co are in like. Brain Prison or something#and victor imagines charles but everyones like 'wait its weird if its just him where's magneto'#ITS SO FUCKING FUNNY and i NEED to know what issue that was .... to add it to my collection ....#also killed me how in immoral x-men issue 1 charles was yappin bout erik bein gone#and- God Bless Who i forget i think it was hope- was just 'can you please shut up about your dead boyfriend im begging you'#moira stronger than me if i had to deal with thing 1 and thing 2 on a daily basis i woulda snapped sooner frankly#ig when you live ten times through The Most Bullshit ever youre numb to most things but still. my god theyre so obnoxious#sorry im cackling at the bit in HoX where charles is about to announce krakoa to the world and erik's putting his hand on his shoulder#and you justs see moira in the back like dawgggg right in front of her .... can you two get a room#GENUINELY no im GENUINELY surprised they dont share a bedroom#im not even talking sharing a bed im taking my shipper goggles off im actually baffled they dont sleep in the same building#obvi id be lyin if i said i didnt love it tho To Be Real .. genuinely love seein them work together as a team .. until they werent </3#in every timeline they WILL divorce each other that's just the rule. actual canon event it cannot be changed or stopped its integral#ok ramble over. but not really not in spirit cause ill never be over this ill die before i am#im gonna go eat now i think i think thats something i As A Human has to do at least once a day
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I dreamt about you nearly every night this week How many secrets can you keep?
#cryinggggg#I CAN'T STOP THINKING#about them#chris is daddying so hard right now#he needs a baby seb ok#or steve needs his baby buck#I don't care#just... them together#yeah#stucky#evanstan#chris evans#sebastian stan#minnie talks
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