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brokenpieces-72 · 7 months ago

Note

I READ “Reunion” AND OOOOOO

HOW WOULD THE BOYS REACT TO READER GETTING CAPTURED AND SOMETHING HAPPENING WITH HER PARENTS???? 👀👀

So admittedly this was going to be a future story. For some extra context, the reader's father I haven't decided whether he exists yet or not, but the mother is... admittedly also undecided in terms of what she is. When I started writing this I intended it to be a drabble and now it’s… yep. Enjoy!

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Massive trigger warning!!! Abuse, kidnapping, torture, poor eating mentions, cannibalism, angst, let me know if I missed anything.

First and foremost you know they tried, all of them. You saw it before everything went dark. Johnny was screaming for you, ready to tear everything apart just to keep you safe. He didn't care who the bitch was, you were his sister. Konig already was tearing everything apart, only he didn't notice your situation until it was to late. The cadejos had nabbed some shadows to rip up with Alejandro and Horangi grabbing at more, trying to restrain themselves from just ripping into them. As you were taking off, Kyle went so far as to try and chase after you, but had his wings shot at, making you scream and fight to try and help him. Ghost had been too far away to try and grab at the heli. Price would have burned the whole thing down but you were inside, and not fire resistant.

Seconds after they'd lost you, Hunter got Kyle into the infirmary to fix his wings but they were still garbage. The entire team is anxious and worried about you. They'd all learned as much as they could about your relationship with your mother but could only imagine what she wanted from you now.

Simon wasted no time. He dragged thrall after thrall into interrogation, demanding answers of where they could be taking you. Being brutal and pissed he put any humans they were able to take alive in the room to show he wasn't playing around. If a thrall wasn't willing to talk, the human better be ready to scream and beg.

Price and Laswell and working around the clock to get everything they can on your mother from medical records, to bank statements. The two friends are keeping each other calm, as best as they can when they are as fired up as they are. Laswell has to step out of the room more than once because of Price releasing smoke to keep himself from getting too heated.

To the surprise of many, Horangi contacts KorTac. He's getting information on... well anything. While he keeps to himself, he can't deny your presence hasn't been welcoming. The team was up in arms, and the last thing he wanted was to sit around and do nothing while he waited for this to be fixed. KorTac can look into any jobs or contracts they may have gotten from Graves or your mother as a one off. Maybe someone gave up information thinking it was just an innocent missing persons report. Maybe your mother had tried contacting KorTac before Graves. Whatever he can get to make this go faster.

Alejandro and Rudolfo did the same, contacting other bases to see if they may have run into Graves or thralls recently. If they mapped out previous locations they could find a pattern. They even went back to facility where they'd first encountered your mother, seeing if there could be any signs of where she might have gone. Aside from that they had taken the initiative of running everything on base, giving the rest of the team more time to focus on you.

Kyle is pissed because he couldn't do anything to help. His wings were too damaged to fly anytime soon. All he could do was join Alejandro and Rudolfo on recon. He hated wasn't about to just sit, wait and heal. He wanted to help now. Alejandro and Rudolfo aren't about to stop him either.

Konig became restless, and the percht was practically beating against him. It wanted nothing but violence, blood and revenge. Konig just wanted his little friend back. You'd helped him even when there seemed to be no hope.

As for Johnny... it's something everyone gives him space for. Simon is one of the few who approaches him. He's restless and the full moon approaching makes it worse. All the wold wants to do is to find you, and Jonny wants the same. Sleep is near impossible, and he's started going to your room in order to do so. Your scent is still there, smelling like earth, grass and pine. If he isn't trying to find you, it's like he's trying to remember you. After 24 hours of you being gone Simon found him.

"Did you tell your mom?" He asked. Johnny looked up from where he was sitting on your bed. Simon was in the doorway looking at him, mask off for once. The question is one Johnny never wanted to think about. Telling his mother he'd lost her new baby. Johnny just stares down at his hands. Simon comes in and sits next to him on the bed, picking up a small plushie. The last thing Johnny needed was his pessimism. Simon didn’t have high hopes for you but he wasn’t going to give up on helping you. Johnny still hasn’t said anything so Simon took out his phone and offered it to Johnny.

“You need her too.” He said. Johnny took out his own phone, and dialed his mother. Simon stood up to leave but Johnny asked him to stay. He didn’t want to be alone for this.

The call goes well at first. It’s short-lived. As soon as Johnny told his mother you were taken Simon could hear her asking questions. Johnny answered as much as he could but regretfully most of the answers were “I don’t know”. By the end of it, he was fighting tears, with Simon putting a hand on his shoulder. Johnny’s mother asked Johnny how he was doing, and if he was okay. He was fine. He was going to find you. He promised. He hangs up and his breathing is unsteady. Simon didn't say anything or move to comfort him knowing a lot was going on underneath the surface. Johnny was honest enough to tell him if he needed it. There was silence for a while until Johnny took a deep breath.

"What kind of a shite brother am I?" He wondered aloud.

"One that will find his sister even if he has to do it barehanded," Simon answered. Johnny looked at him. Simon looked back and just gave him a nod.

For a while, you thought every moment you had experienced, every smile, every joy, every triumph, every bad day, every victory... you thought it had all been some mental episode of escapism. A dream your mind had put you in to save you from the torment of your mother. You don't know how much time has past, but it's been long enough for her to try and starve you and feed you more raw flesh. The more feral part of you is starving and ravenous. You want to eat so bad but you know Graves probably put something in it to make your feral state more powerful. You're chained to the wall with a collar and cuffs on your ankles and wrists. Waking up had sent you into a panic attack where you passed out. When you woke up again, the food was there, staring at you with vacant eyes. Dead bodies were not something new to you, but in this setting it just awoke you trauma. This wasn't the first time you'd fought your hunger. You turned away facing the wall, trying to hold your breath so you wouldn't smell the carcass. You held your nose when you needed another breath. Next you took the chains and wrapped them around your limbs to make them shorter. You knaw on your shirt to resist.

Then your mother came in. Your spine went frozen, your whole body tensed, and your held sped through the horrible moments her voice awoke. The way she talks is like burning sugar.

"Hello my little bunny." She said, soothingly. It's not soothing, she is not soothing, the only thing she would soothe was her own heinous actions. Little bunny was her name for you. You didn't know your own name because she would just give you pet names. All you want right now is to do the same thing you had done to innocent people who got lost in the woods. She'd set you on them, letting you hunt to the feral monster's content. "Come on, I want to see you. Can you look at me? I want to see how much you've grown. They took you away from me, my sweet girl."

No. They saved you. There had been missing person reports pointing to the woods you'd grown up in. A hunter came, properly armed to deal with hybrids, with some blurry photos capturing your image. He'd saved you with his hunting party. They'd found you feasting on an elk, starting to come back to your normal state. When you tried to flee, a hunter shot you, wounding you. You curled up on the ground they gave you a sedative. You were too small, and they weren't about to kill a kid who was probably just running on instincts. They saved you from your mother, continuing to search the woods.

Your mother moved closer, voice staying motherly and warm. "Please sweetheart? I'm sorry it had to be like this. I just wanted you back."

No more. You wouldn't give her anything. You didn't care what punishment she would give you. Whether it was burns or cuts you wouldn't give in. Your whole body shivered and tensed up as you felt her gentle hands on your shoulder and back, kneeling behind you. Your mother rubbed your back and shoulders, trying to coax your body to relax. When she tried to tug on your shoulders, to pry open your balled up position, you yank away.

"How did you get tangled up like that?" She asked noticing your efforts to keep you from the food. You don't look at her but you can hear her shuffling. There was a horrible wet sound as she moved back to you. You covered your nose, breathing through your teeth, as she tried to give you the meat. "Come on sweetie you need to eat. You want to be big and strong for mommy don't you."

You cowered, blindly swatting and pushing her away. In any other context her reaction would be that of a mother trying to keep her child from hitting her. You know it's a facade, the setting was evidence of that. "Now now bunny don't hit your mother."

"YOU'RE NOT MY MOTHER!!" You shrieked at her. The wendigo, the guardian state could be heard within your voice. Your mother stopped.

"B-but... l-little bunny-"

"I'm not your little bunny you fucking bitch! You are not my fucking mother! You are nothing but a psychopath who made me eat the closest thing I had to a friend! I'm not your daughter!" You yelled, not looking up at her, head covered by your legs.

"I know baby, I know, I am so sorr-"

"No! No you're not! If you were sorry you would stay behind bars! You would have moved on when you got out! You would have walked away knowing how much damage you did." You argued. There was no excuse for the crimes she had committed. Your mother didn't say anything for a while. You heard her toss the meat to the floor.

"Fine," she said, sounding like she was biting back heartbreak. "We can try again tomorrow. Please eat something though. I don't want you to starve."

"That's exactly what you want." You said, your voice overflowing with poison.

From then on, the routine continued, with a new body put in every other day or so. Your mother continued to coax you to eat, giving you kind and gentle praises. She's changed truly, she just wanted her cute little bunny girl back, her precious baby. Then she tried gaslighting you, burning and cutting your skin, only to hurry away to retrieve a first aid kit, acting like you'd come to her with a scraped knee. Oh dear did you scratch yourself too hard? Don't worry she'll fix it. Do you want mama to kiss it better? No? Then she'll get Mr. Graves to come in and talk to you about the mean things you did to his thralls. Maybe he can get you to eat something too. Open wide, here comes to airplane. Don't spit it out!

It goes on... and on... and on...

Your stomach churned. Food you need food... there's some right there. You don't smell anything wrong with it... no... no not again...

When Price found you... damn. You were back to your feral state but this seemed to be worse. Blood drunk, but hopefully not on Graves tainted shit. It had taken them some time, too much time to track you down. Right now Johnny and König were making for a good distraction tearing into the thralls in fully shifted forms, Johnny having the full moon on his side. Kyle, now fully healed and flying again was keeping overwatch dive bombing anyone who might try to take up a sniper position. Rudolfo had the cadejos tracking your scent. Horangi was keeping Hunter safe, using the clouds for their cover. Simon was moving through the bunker looking for two other people, Graves and your mother, shadows keeping him from being noticed. Of course he also yanked a few thrall into them, as they tried to make it out to Soap and Konig.

"Captain, what's your status?" Alejandro asked through comms.

"I found the target." Price said. "Soap keep on the thrall. Lieutenant, what's your location?"

"South Hallway." Ghost replied, voice quiet.

"Have you located the other targets?" He asked, holstering his gun slowly approaching. Your blank white eyes looked up at him, and you launched yourself at him. Your chains snapped taut, making you fall back. Shit. You were still yanking and pulling on your chains to try and reach the fresh food that had stepped into your cell.

"Not yet. Wait, the cadejos may have found something." Simon replied. Before Price could get Simon's help, Alejandro came up beside him. He stepped back when you tried to lunge at him next.

"Fucking hell." He said under his breath.

"Horangi, get Hunter to our location, east side, second floor." Price said.

"Copy." Hunter said.

"She needs to be restrained." Price said. They needed to wait for Hunter, but until then you needed to be pinned down. Alejandro understood shifting to the jaguar form and stalking in. The meat was coming closer. You shrieked, getting on all fours, watching him closely. The meat kept his eyes locked with yours. It's growling, it won't let you eat without a fight. You screech back at the meat, encouraging some play before you feasr. Your body tightens in a crouch as you move back a little, readying yourself. You strike, but you can't. A huge weight is put on your back and you thrash around. Your arms are pinned behind you. No! You're hungry! You have fresh food right in front of you! Price wasn't about to let you enjoy Las Almas cuisine. Alejandro backed away the moment Price put his full weight on top of you. Hunter arrived a few minutes later, and Horangi stayed close. One sedative wasn't enough. Two wasn't enough. They gave it time, ut you weren't relaxing fast enough. One more. The world slowly goes dark. Hungry... you're still hungry.

You're released from the chains, but bound in them again. Simon acquired a blanket after trying to pursue your mother. He had a feeling he knew what Graves was actually doing and what was going on with your mother but he could wait. You're the priority. Your unconscious body was rolled up in the blanket, with the chains wrapped around to keep you restrained if you woke up. Johnny was demanding updates to your status, still outside with König, waiting on orders. Price ordered them to head to evac, and they had the target restrained. Johnny didn't like that answer but doesn't argue.

When he finally saw you, Gaz made sure to be in between you and Johnny. Johnny got out of the chopper and came over, back to his human state, clothes destroyed. Price wasn't about to deny his sergeant, even when he wasn't shifted. Johnny took you from Price and held you tight. The look on his face was focused as he got back in the heli, and the whole ride back he said nothing. Hunter got to work immediately giving orders for the medics on base to be ready. As soon as you woke up you would be hungry again. despite this Johnny just kept you close, as if you didn't show signs of being feral, or wouldn't try to dig into his flesh as soon as you woke up.

The healing process takes time. You're kept under for a very long time. Hunter had to get a feeding tube so you would return to normal. Your wounds are cleaned thoroughly, and you're put in a safe place. The team visited and stayed with you in shifts. The feeding tube was not a tested method for you yet, and Hunter was concerned about over feeding you, thinking it may cause you to vomit or get sick.

As expected Johnny had to be pried from your side more than once. Ghost did it to spar with him, knowing Johnny had plenty of aggression built up, and he could take the hits. The last thing he wanted was for a punching bag to receive that kind of treatment. Once you had been put under observation, Johnny called your mother. Your real mother. She'd relieved to hear you are okay, and asked Johnny if you would be able to stay with her for a bit to help you recover. Johnny would talk to Laswell about it later, you needed to wake up first.

When you finally wake up they’d already taken out the feeding tube, your state much more relaxed. You wake to see Johnny had fallen asleep in the chair next to you, his head rested on the bed. You sort of squirmed down further under the blanket to press your forehead to his. There are silent tears down your cheeks, as you feel a great sense of relief. Johnny woke up and pulled away to look at you. He wanted to pull you close to him, but he didn’t want to overstep. You sat up and he held your face in his hands, pressing your foreheads together again.

“You came to get me.” You said.

“Made a promise. Wouldn't go into the dark unless I 'ad to pull ya out.” Johnny said. You threw your arms around him and he gently returned the gesture. It was perfect. It was safe. You had your family back, and to make it better they had come for you.

The next while isn’t fun. Well a few times you enjoy yourself, but it’s mostly filled with recovering and exhaustion. Your mental state was damaged, your body was sore, and your hunger was difficult, as you were craving food but couldn't eat as much as you wanted without getting sick. Hunter does an amazing job of helping your body heal. While you do have a healing factor, the wounds weren't healing as much as they should. Your team's medic sits with you when you eat, keeping the portions smaller than you'd usually take, but they gave you snacks to sustain your stomach in between meals. Once you were out of the infirmary Price granted you a week off. Johnny was still in the process of getting you a month or so away from base.

For the most part, you became Johnny's shadow, if he wasn't yours. Part of it is because the wolf is now more protective over you, and well Johnny is too. He'd told you about getting time off and honestly it would be really nice to have it. Outside of that, you found yourself snuggling up with him. Johnny had done a good job at sleeping in his own bed since your return. Now though, you'd taken to curling up with him at night. He didn’t mind, finding your presence comforting. Seeing you asleep in his arms brought him peace.

Johnny still has tasks to do on base though so he can't be by your side 24/7. You go to the others on the team who don't mind having you nearby. You did a little where you could, like retrieving items or doing prep work. Sleeping and lazying around wasn't your thing. Hunter let you help them with prepping the medical supplies and take inventory as usual. The rest of the team either made something up or just let you observe.

König had taken to standing in when Johnny was too busy. He was grateful and happy to have you back. This was also a chance to return the favour for all the hard work you’d put into getting him in control. At one point you had a panic attack, accidentally knocking over a bowl had created a loud noise. Before anyone could step in König had you in a tight hug, talking to you. He ran you through the process of naming things in the room you see, smell, hear, touch and taste. Panic attacks were a first hand experience for him, having his own social anxiety. While he didn't know what exactly happened when you were in captivity, he wasn't about to let you suffer through the small triggers by yourself. König had promised he wouldn’t go into the dark. He wasn’t about to let you go through it alone.

If neither Konig nor Johnny was shaodwing you, Simon was quite literally shadowing you. In that he would peek in on you through your shadow just to be sure you were okay. He doesn’t hesitate to talk to about what happened. Abuse is something he will never forgive. Simon for the most part though would stay out of the way. You deserved some privacy, and a chance to heal on your own. Until another soldier was a little too clumsy and made a mess of the ammo bins. The crash is loud and you jump back, as the other soldiers raise their voices to hound him. Bloody idiots, keep yelling when there’s a startled kid! You back into the nearest corner and start to breathe heavy. Your ears ring, and Simon found you. He goes through the piles of ammo cartridges and suddenly the argument is muffled, and there’s only ringing. Until Simon’s voice broke through, and you looked up at him. You see you’re surrounded by darkness but Simon looked normal. His mask was on, but his focus was on you. Just take a minute. You needed it. This happened again, but only when you doing really bad.

Kyle hasn't stopped spending time with you, and if you're struggling to get up to the roof you guys like to sit on, he'll help you up. The wings are always around you, which can really help. It makes you feel like you're alone with Kyle, even if there are soldiers down below running drills or moving supplies around. You don't talk as much, but Kyle talks a bit more to fill the silence. Sometimes you guys don't talk at all. That's fine. Yeah, you could lean on him if you want. His arm goes around you, avoiding any scars you have.

The cadejos paid you a visit in your room one day, and they had... a ball? Rudolfo poked his head in and asked if you wanted to play some fetch for the dog spirits. You didn't think they played fetch but you don't say no. You follow them outside and throw the ball for them. The white spirit comes back like a golden retriever each time, front paws tapping away, tail whipping about, tongue lulling with happy pants, all while waiting for you to throw the ball. The darker spirit is a little less trained. When it caught the ball it sped back to you causing you to flinch. Rudy got his hands on your shoulders pulling you back, reminding the black cadejo to be gentle. Your body tenses but when Rudolfo checks in you tell him you're okay. Just startled a little. If you want to come out with the spirits again, you can ask.

You went to Alejandro and Horangi directly, asking if they could show you some better self defense techniques. You could fight, but you wanted to be better prepared if someone grabbed you again. Alejandro is hesitant because the last thing he wants is for you to have a panic attack in the middle of it. Horangi however is all for it. Knowing that stuff had saved his own ass more than once when he was building up debts. Why shouldn't you be able to drop captors like a sack of potatoes? Small bonus, he could make Alejandro be the one that got dropped on his back a few times. After all Alejandro had him outweighed, so learning more built attackers would be beneficial. Throughout the demonstrations, they do check in after check in. He was going to grab your wrists next okay? Alright, then he would whip you around, yep don't let him turn you around. Still good? Perfect.

Soon it was your last day off, and tomorrow you would be on leave with Johnny. It would be nice to see Scotland again. You wandered into the rec room where you saw Price on the couch. The tv was on likely watching the game. You sat down next to him, a blanket around you, and he gave you a smile.

“Are they winning?” You asked.

“Not who I’d like.” He admitted. You played on your phone for a bit and then started to nod off. Everything felt so much better. You were safe. No one could hurt you with your pack nearby. Price didn’t pay much mind. He assumed you came to the break room to have some privacy, and he kept his voice down for you in front of the tv. Until he felt the couch move. When he looked over, he saw you trembling. Fuck. He got off the couch and knelt down in front of you, shaking you awake.

“Come on kid, it’s not real. It’s not real!”

“NO!” You cried out, waking up and found Price looking at you, shaking you awake. Tears ran down your face. Nightmares were becoming more frequent again. All because that witch decided to force herself into your life again.

“You broken?” He asked. A gentle but calloused hand going, resting on your head. You gave him a hesitant nod. “Okay.”

Without asking he picked you up giving a playful roar. It surprised you, but you couldn’t help but laugh. He sat back on the couch, reclining so you could rest against his chest. You never noticed how warm he was. His wing wrapped around you unconsciously as he went back to the game. The captain’s heartbeat was calming against your ear.

“I’m sorry-“ you start to say.

“Don’t say sorry. You can’t control it.” He said. You continued watching the game until he turned it over to a show he saw you watching earlier in the week. Slowly you fell asleep again. Price found himself subconsciously stoking your ears as you relaxed into him. Before Price didn’t know what to make of you. Right now, he was worried about you. At first you were a requirement, something he was obligated to take on. Then you proved yourself, showing value to the team in more ways than one. Now… you were part of his hoard. You were a treasure worth protecting. His team had been doing better, and much better now that you were back.

“John I hav-“ Laswell walked in and looked up to see a scowling Price, shushing her.

“Just fell back asleep.” He said voice very low. Laswell raised a brow with a small smile. You shifted a bit and Price hushed you, not wanting you to wake up. John ran his claws gently through your hair, keeping you relaxed. Even Kate can’t deny you’d exceeded her expectations. When she first met you were about a terrifying as… well as a rabbit with antlers. You’d grown so much.

“You ever expect this to be a scenario we find ourselves in?” Price asked her.

“No. The time off has been approved… but there’s an issue.” Laswell said. Price looked up. “Colonel Vargas has offered an alternative.”

“What does that mean?” Price asked, a slight scowl at the word ‘alternative’.

“The program still has some authority, and with what’s been going on with the mother and the kidnapping they think sending her back with Johnny might put her at risk.” Laswell explained.

“…Alejandro has offered to take them in instead?” Price asked. Clearly the program wasn’t concerning themselves with separation anxiety.

“I’m trying to convince the program to let Johnny go with her. They’re proving difficult.” Laswell said.

“But she’ll be safe?” Price asked. Laswell nodded. Price got up, carrying you with him, still swaddled in your blanket. “Taking her to bed.”

Price took you to your room where he saw your things ready and packed. He set you down on the bed, and you shifted, rolling to your side. You would be safe. He knew that. He trusted the colonel, he was just worried about you. You’d only been back for a short while, and instead of going somewhere you knew, you were being tossed into a whole new environment. Hopefully Johnny would be understanding.

@yourlovely-moon @kaoyamamegami @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @sans-chara @1mommyrose4ever29 @smitten-haematite-quartz @talia-the-gemini @yuki2129 @whitetiger846 @graystorm444 @chibiduck @reaperxxxxzz @danielle143 @sobbingnshtting @cringeycookies @cryingpages @dcnocap207 @reaper-chan666

#john soap mactavish #cod au #simon ghost riley #task force 141 x reader #captain john price #kyle gaz garrick #rudolfo parra #alejandro vargas #horangi #König #jackalope #wendigo #hybrid au #hybrid reader #call of duty modern warefare #phillip graves #lots of angst

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melrosing · 2 months ago

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I’m sure you’ve talked about this before but tumblr’s search function is ass 😭 what’s your endgame prediction for Jaime esp in light of the show? I think Jaime is def fighting the others as hinted in his weirwood dream. But the way got ended doesn’t feel right to me. On Reddit everyone’s saying it makes no sense so it has to be a bad adaptation of what GRRM told them but idk I don’t buy it. Especially since it seems like Cersei replaced young griff’s role

i have talked about it before but even i can't find it ha so i don't mind talking about it again however.... my thoughts on this are vague. longwinded post ahead which is more thought starters than anything definitive.

to briefly address the show ending... I mean it's literally impossible for Jaime's story to end like that, because we know that Cersei's can't end that way. Cersei is going to be murdered by the valonqar, whoever that turns out to be. and even apart from that, the book version of the twins are so done romantically. sure, there are the barest vestiges of that connection in Jaime's ADWD chapter ('back to Cersei, another part of him whispered'), but ASOS/AFFC otherwise make for an extremely thorough deconstruction of that relationship that ends with Jaime leaving Cersei for dead and wandering off the grid with Brienne. like.... GRRM didn't write all that for nothing. and sure, some people still think he might still bounce back to her in some way or another, but generally i have found.... that those theories don't tend to accompany the strongest takes on jaime's character dhjkls

for the same reason, I don't really know where this leaves us wrt the valonqar prophecy. if Jaime were still preoccupied with Cersei's cheating, he would've acted on it by now. Tyrion thinks in ACOK that if Jaime ever found out about Lancel, he'd have killed the kid himself. Jaime in AFFC suggests Lancel eat something and go to therapy. Jaime himself imagines in AFFC scenarios where he exacts revenge on the Kettleblacks and Cersei herself, and yet given the opportunity to do so.... he wanders off in the opposite direction.

the reason being that the connection Jaime once felt to Cersei has died. that bond was his reason for living, for doing anything at all - and now it's not enough for him to even stick around long enough to see what's happened to her in KL, never mind return to her side to exact revenge on her himself. in practise, he doesn't harbour the kind of action and rage he dreams about, or claims to Ilyn Payne. it's the same as how he claims he's Tywin's heir, and then keeps letting people off the hook t any given opportunity. like for all Jaime knows, he could die fighting """"the Hound"""", and never see Cersei again, and that's apparently just fine. the opposite of love isn't hate it's indifference etc. and no I don't think Jaime will ever feel truly indifferent to Cersei - she is his twin, the mother of his children, and the woman he has loved all his life. but I think it's entirely fair to say that the extremes of love and hate he felt within the context of their romance are gone, because the romance itself has gone. Jaime's feelings towards Cersei exist outside of that now.

returning to the valonqar prophecy. I don't think it's necessarily guaranteed that Jaime the valonqar, but I do think it would be myopic to claim that he isn't a real possibility. and since Cersei's end has to factor into what Jaime's is or isn't in some kind of way, I'll suppose that he is the valonqar for the sake of this post. it's not written, so I can't say how exactly I'll end up feeling about its execution, but per the previous paragraph, I don't imagine this will have anything to do with the 'Moonboy for all I know' shit. that was for AFFC. that was building to Jaime burning her letter. Jaime in TWOW is going to have left much of that behind, bc frankly he'll have other stuff to worry about.

but we know that Cersei will be dealing w wildfire (apart from what happens in the show, this is one of the most heavily foreshadowed events in the book), and whilst it's not clear when or why she'll use it, it seems like a natural site for the valonqar prophecy to come true, in whatever way it does. and Jaime has been here before w Aerys etc, this has perturbed him in other Cersei x wildfire scenes in AFFC, so it seems it's a likely full circle moment. potentially Tommen's life is wrapped up in this too - I think it's also foreshadowed that Cersei (I assume accidentally) will manage to kill Tommen in the wildfire blast as well. so like, sure, ig that would set the scene for valonqar Jaime. I've never really liked this prophecy for a whole host of reasons, but the idea of spurned lover Jaime tramping back to KL to kill Cersei over Moonboy is uh. ??? yeah im not worried about that

[as for the more sensitive implications of Jaime being the valonqar as Cersei's ex lover, which I believe exist regardless of whether the act is about Moonboy or not: I think that's an important conversation to be had, but not one I feel effectively able to have until we have the scene itself. so whilst i want to acknowledge that context, I've found that conversations aren't often productive when participants are each imagining a different version of the scene in their minds]

then we're just left to contemplate where exactly any of this comes in the broader picture of TWOW/ADOS. if it is (per the show) effectively the last act of the series, then idk. maybe Jaime dies in Cersei's wildfire/the general pyre that is KL by this point idk?? like ok sure. he saved the city once but he couldn't save it this time etc.

however I tend to believe that TLN will follow what happens in KL, or in the very least will follow Cersei's death. i'm never certain of this, but if not, it leaves you wondering what exactly Cersei, Aegon, Arianne, Joncon etc are even doing in the south throughout all this. like. carrying on as normal?? do they even notice TLN?? winter is setting in everywhere.

and I do fully believe Jaime will fight in TLN per the weirwood dream, widow's wail etc. Jaime's story is a redemption arc (whether ppl like that term or not, GRRM uses it himself), and fighting in TLN is a natural conclusion to Jaime's pivot to the pursuit of honour, and his arc's own gradual turn towards the northern storyline. Jaime's story has always been about leaving behind loyalty to individuals and institutions, and instead fighting for causes he believes in, according to his own set of values. there's also the fact that he has to attain widow's wail somehow (which i'm certain he will), and as it is currently in KL.... it seems reasonable to assume that Jaime will be stopping by KL before he moves north again. this could be a tenuous assumption or it could be entirely correct, guess we'll see. but whatever

so if TLN is the final act of the series, then Jaime either dies in TLN (fine), or possibly even survives the series (though on this I always hedge my optimism). survival possibilities include becoming Hand or a KG to Bran, joining the Night's Watch, becoming a hedge knight, literally whatever. I like the idea that he stays with Brienne whatever ends up happening, but if it's some bittersweet long distance shit then sure whatever that's workable. however i do prefer to just assume he'll die for my own sake xo

#ask #jaime lannister #cersei lannister #asoiaf

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owl-with-a-pen · 6 months ago

Text

Outside of superhero emergencies, Kara didn’t tend to lean into her super hearing where she could avoid it. Girl’s night at her apartment, for example, definitely shouldn’t have called for it. Then again, she wasn’t usually the subject of discussion in just about every apartment block on her street.

So, maybe that wasn’t completely true. She’d certainly heard her name mentioned a lot more since the whole secret identity reveal thing; it was just, nowadays, instead of hearing Supergirl, it was usually Kara Zor-El.

She was used to it. She’d been used to it for years; her name was normally a hot topic days, if not weeks after a major save was broadcast. The only difference now was… not all of those voices were as positive as she’d come to expect.

Like right now, for instance. No matter how hard she tried to shut it out, she couldn’t help but listen for that same voice echoing from hundreds of homes across the city, streaming from earbuds, speakers and laptops alike. His voice was charismatic and quick, like a less polished Maxwell Lord, and while he may have been a nobody just a few weeks ago, he’d certainly gained enough traction now to give Kara one hell of a headache.

Unfortunately for her, she’d inadvertently tuned herself in at just the right time for her downstairs neighbour to hit play:

“Alright folks, if you missed our last episode I’ll catch you up to speed. Last week, we rounded off at the crux of the Supergirl Problem; that she hasn’t just been living in our midst this whole time, but that she’s been actively working as a journalist for CatCo Worldwide Media. And, just a few weeks ago, she was publicly put in charge of the editorial process for that same media outlet minutes after she came clean about her alter-ego to the world. And, as I doubt Supergirl will want to speak for herself on the matter, we have one of her self-proclaimed super-fans in the house today to speak on her behalf. Say it with me at home folks, debate me, Supergirl!”

The aforementioned ‘super-fan’ let out a surprised scoff at her introduction. She didn’t waste a minute of her airtime, jumping immediately into the conversation: “Well, for starters, I think you’re taking this whole thing out of context. Supergirl didn’t just become a journalist for CatCo overnight. If you knew anything about Kara’s story, you’d know that she worked her way up the food chain for years! I mean, how empowering is that? She started as a PA!”

“Yeah, a PA with superspeed, how difficult. No wonder she ended up in Cat Grant’s palm! And yes, I do know her origin story, thank you very much.” The host’s voice crackled as Kara imagined him relaxing into his microphone. “Let the audience not forget that she was a PA for Cat Grant before she became a journalist. Are we really going to pretend that wasn’t her foot in the door?”

“Cat Grant wasn’t even her boss when she got into journalism,” argued the young woman. “And by the time Kara made a name for herself, Cat wasn’t even leading the company anymore! She got to where she is now on her own merit, no one elses!”

The host spoke over her: “It begs the question, did Cat Grant know this whole time? She takes a sabbatical only to re-emerge just in time to offer Supergirl a promotion. On top of that, she’s been promoting Supergirl for years! She created her – her words, on record. And now she’s put her in charge of media distribution. Get this: Supergirl is now in charge of the media we consume. Isn’t that a little self-indulgent?”

The young woman didn’t back down. “Kara Danvers was a Pultizer winning journalist long before we found out who she really was,” she argued. “She’s been standing for truth and justice just as much as Supergirl has. In fact, she’s just as much a hero as—”

“But what’s the agenda here?” the host continued with a conspiratorial air. “How can we even believe the news now it’s being headed by a liar? And she did, didn’t she? She lied to us all! She had a secret identity this whole time, and what? We’re just supposed to accept that? What’s the bet that this story will make a headline at CatCo magazine tomorrow morning, with my comments made out as Supergirl’s latest villain story? Or, better yet, will I be Kara Danver’s first official nemesis?” He barked out a laugh into his microphone. “There’s no freedom of the press anymore, folks, not when CatCo is bias towards the very hero that made it so popular in the first place!”

Before she could hear any more, Kara was thrown from her super-eavesdropping rather unceremoniously when a hand shot out in front of her face, waving impatiently.

“Earth to Kara,” Alex said, snapping her fingers in front of her sister’s nose. “Hey, anyone home?”

“Huh?” Kara said before screwing her eyes shut, swatting away Alex’s offending hand. “Hey, hey, stop that!”

It was only then that she realised that it wasn’t just Alex who had been trying to get her attention. Lena and Kelly were staring at her from the opposite sofa. Nia sat cross legged on the footstool by the coffee table, nursing her drink with an expectant expression.

Kara glanced lamely at the TV. It didn’t look like anyone had been paying attention to the movie for quite some time.

Just how long had she been…?

Kara tried not to cringe.

Kelly cleared her throat, smoothing her hands over her lap. “From your expression, I’m guessing you were listening in on something pretty important.” She hesitated. “Is everything okay?”

Kara’s eyes widened. “What? Oh, oh no, it’s not a superhero emergency, I swear. Girl’s night continues uninterrupted, I promise!”

“Okay,” Nia said with a slow smile. “Then what was with the—” She mimicked Kara’s spaced-out expression a little too well, earning a few grins at her expense.

Kara pursed her lips. “Uh—I mean. It was nothing. Just…” She sagged in on herself awkwardly. “Okay, so I may have been listening to this podcast…”

“Oof.” Alex winced. “You don’t wanna do that.”

Kara groaned, falling back against the sofa. “I’ve been trying not to, but it’s kinda hard when half of my building’s listening to it.” She rubbed aggressively at her ears. “Super hearing can really suck, you guys.”

“Wait,” Nia said, perking up. “Are you talking about the Debate Me, Supergirl podcast?” When everyone turned to stare at her, she shrugged. “What? Brainy’s been keeping tabs on all social channels for this stuff ever since your interview first went public, y’know, calculating the odds on them picking up any real traction. In case things go… south.”

“And what are the odds on this guy?” Alex asked seriously.

Nia made a vague gesture. “I mean, until a few days ago, Brainy had him in the unlikely category. But his latest interview with a Supergirl stan got a whole lot of attention on social media. They were basically at each other’s throats the entire time.” She took a mild sip of her drink. “People ate it up.”

Alex rolled her eyes. “Of course they did. And I’m guessing from your tone, not much of the audience were on this super – uh – stan’s side?”

Nia pulled a face, taking an even larger swig.

Kara groaned again, burying her face in her hands. “This is awful. I- I just can’t believe how little faith they have in me now that they know the truth!”

Lena smiled her sympathy. “Take it from someone who was once deluded enough to fall right into that same category of hatefully ignorant.” She toasted her scotch glass to no one in particular, swirling its contents with a gentle twist of her wrist. “It’s not easy for people to accept that their larger-than-life hero was living amongst them.”

Kara’s head shot up in protest. “I never wanted anyone to put me on a pedestal.”

“Want has nothing to do about it. Like it or not, they did.” Lena paused, tucking her legs into the sofa’s arm. She fixed Kara with a level look. “Kara, I say this as your friend, but you have to understand how powerful you are in the eyes of a regular citizen. You fly, you shoot laser beams from your eyes, you’re bullet proof and fire proof. Your power is limitless and even though this city has seen you fall, they’ve also seen you get back up time and time again.”

Kara bit her lip. “That part I can understand, but it’s not just that. This podcaster isn’t only targeting my Supergirl persona. It’s Kara Danvers, Kara Zor-El that they don’t trust.” She snorted, throwing her hands wide. “They think the fact that I’m working as CatCo’s Editor-in-Chief makes the whole platform inherently bias. And – yes – I know I’ve fought my own biases in the past, and it’s not like being impartial was what won me a Pulitzer, but to them— a superhero in the press just doesn’t appeal. They think I’m a fraud, that I’ve been manipulating public opinion.” Kara could feel her face begin to flush in frustration. She ran a hand through her hair, standing just to put her energy somewhere. She slammed a fist against her palm, taking a step around the coffee table with every beat. “But, I mean, don’t they remember how CatCo turned on Supergirl after the Red Kryptonite incident? And rightfully, too. I lost the people’s trust then, and now—now it’s happening all over again and I just… I don’t know how to win them back,” she laughed through her teeth, “or if I can win them back!”

Alex took Kara’s arm swiftly as she passed her by, tugging her to her side. “Hey, no one said this was gonna be easy.”

“I think those were Cat’s exact words, actually,” Nia said helpfully, pointing in Alex’s direction.

Kara huffed, anchored by her sister’s steadying hand. “Yeah? Well, they didn’t say it would be this difficult, either.”

“Don’t listen to a few angry voices,” Nia insisted, her voice sobering. “They aren’t worth your energy, trust me.”

“Are they just a few?” Kara asked grimly. If she tried hard enough, she was sure she could still tune into hundreds of versions of that same podcast playing from across the city. Whether they agreed with him or not, the people of National City and beyond were listening to this nameless podcaster, and that was dangerous enough on its own.

Nia smiled tightly, balling her knuckles against her lap. “Just don’t listen to them, okay?” She closed her eyes. “Look, people like to make a lot of noise when they feel like they’ve been lied to, but the truth is, they were never entitled to that information to begin with. When I did my Dreamer interview with you, a lot of people were so supportive; some of them even saw themselves in me, but there were always hateful voices that tried to drown out the positive ones.” She straightened her back, opening her eyes. “But, y’know, they make that much noise because they know they’re in the minority, and they do not have the power that they think. Putting it into perspective like that… it’s a lot easier to ignore them, especially when I know how many people I’ve helped by sharing my story.”

“You’re right,” Kara said softly. Because she was. Of course she was. A single podcast spouting a single negative view didn’t diminish everything good that had come out of Supergirl’s identity reveal. Yes, the celebrity-level thing took some getting used to and openly flying to work made her something of a spectacle when it came to the office situation, but for the most part, Kara was relieved to have that weight off her shoulders, and it was a joy to know just how many aliens felt more confident to live as themselves now that they knew Supergirl had also shared their struggle.

In truth, the world knowing where she had come from, who she had been ever since she’d landed on Earth, grounded her to the people in a way that had never struck quite the same as just Supergirl. And that was worth any amount of growing pains.

Kara reached out for Nia’s hand over the coffee table, squeezing tight. “Thank you.”

Nia’s smile softened. “Any time.”

Lena cleared her throat, shifting higher against her pillow. “And, as for your job,” she said with a sly smile of her own, “let’s just say I know a thing or two about the public coming for your throat, deeming you unworthy of the position you’ve fairly worked your way up to. It’s just like Nia said, you ignore it, Kara. You ignore it because you have nothing to prove to anyone, you’re already doing one hell of a job as a journalist. Remain honest with yourself, and eventually people will see it. Not everyone of course.” She tilted her head, raising her glass to her lips. “You’ll never have everyone’s approval. If you did, well, I’d say you were on another planet, because that’s certainly not how the human race are wired.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Nia chimed in, leaning up to clink her glass with Lena’s. She caught Kelly’s glass on her way back.

Kelly smiled fondly, though there was a strained edge to her expression when she said, “We’ve all had to work twice as hard to prove ourselves. And as much as it hurts, that extends to Supergirl as well.”

Kara sat back down with a sigh, leaning into the embrace that Alex readily offered her. “Cat once told me the same thing; right after she’d first claimed Supergirl, actually.”

“Exactly,” Alex said with a sage nod. She kissed her sister’s hair. “And, hey, Cat Grant won’t let a podcast beat down her creation. Hell, her empire is built on powerful women, it always has been, always will.” She gestured to everyone in the room. “You are all prime examples of that.”

Kara nudged her sister playfully, pushing out of her arms. “Hey, well, the amount of times the DEO has personally kept that building from crashing to the ground, I’d say you’re an honorary member of Cat’s empire, too.”

Alex’s nose crinkled. “I think I prefer the title of badass DEO leader, but I’ll take it.” She grinned, rolling her eyes. “The point is, you have us, Kara.”

“Yeah.” Nia beamed. “And our opinion is worth a million times more than some crappy podcast.”

“Oh, cheers to that, too!” Alex laughed and they all converged with their glasses, meeting with a raucous clash over the coffee table.

Cheers rang out all ‘round, and Kara let the simple joy of that moment infect her. Their combined laughter easily blotted out any chances of hearing another word from that podcaster’s mouth.

She'd lost the taste for eavesdropping, anyway.

#supergirl #supergirl fanfiction #kara danvers #kara zor el #lena luthor #alex danvers #nia nal #kelly olsen #my writing #another dialogue-only project that expanded into an actual story #this one has been on my mind literally since the series finale #i feel like kara's identity reveal would easily stir up some chaos with people and split opinions. i could write essays on ideas i have #about what a season 7 may have looked like. but i'll settle with this shorter story piece that kind of wraps the whole conflict #into an easily digestible oneshot #enjoy!

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inactivewattpadauthor · 1 year ago

Text

Storm Bros + Shaolin Bros x Reader: Hotsprings

Context: Reader joins Liu and Lao in the hotspring, Storm bros are already there. Reader is just friends with everyone and is extremely comfortable.

Warning: You're naked around four guys... but you're seen as an equal :> ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Raiden was always on duty watching over Earthrealm every second. Although he'll meditate here and there, he always thought just one break is a huge risk.

The many times his brother had to explain what he has is just paranoia...

With enough convincing, Fujin suggested he relax at a soothing hotspring to decompress a bit. It's similar to meditation in a way, so Raiden couldn't decline.

Now, there was Raiden with closed eyes, his white long hair free, sitting in the water trying to get rid of his worries.

The Thunder God opened one eye as he heard someone stepping in the water with him. It was just Fujin, smiling at him.

"I'm glad you decide to do it, brother." He claims as he immediately relaxes at least 5 feet apart. Clearly, Fujin was experienced at not being stressed.

"Hm." Raiden mumbles before going back to his calm state.

The sound of boisterous laughing and cheering approached where they were. Raiden opened his eyes, annoyed at the second interruption, but Fujin held his carefree smile.

Raiden turned around as the voices got louder to see three familiar people jumping into the hotspring.

He sees Liu first, then Lao, and...

His glowing white eyes widened and he carried a very shock expression as the third person tosses aside the towel covering her up her body, before she lands into the water.

The three stood above the surface of the water, still laughing. "Greetings, Lord Raiden, Lord Fujin! Apologies for the... entrance." Liu nervously chuckled out.

Ohh, it wasn't the rambunctious way the three entered the bath. Raiden was mainly focused on what you were doing here... at the men hotspring when the women's wasn't too far.

And he wasn't going to ignore the elephant in the room like all the three other men were doing.

"By the Elder Gods! Y/n! What are you doing here?!" Raiden yelled with concern in his usual strict tone.

You were still goofing off with the boys, having Lao in a headlock before looking at Raiden.

"I don't want to be by myself at the other hotspring. I want to be with you guys!" You said with no regrets.

"Have you no shame? I- F-Fujin! Care to help?" Raiden turns to the wind god, hoping he could back him up. Which not surprisingly, he doesn't.

"She doesn't want to be alone while we're all here having a good time, Raiden. There's no harm in letting her stay." Fujin explains, amusingly watching you playfully choke Lao out, Liu pretending he was going to help him.

Raiden sighed and sat back, looking nowhere near you.

Attempting to ease the tension, you let go of the egotistical monk and decide to splash water at Raiden.

He looks at you with irritation before you do it again...

Before you went for a third, the demigod splashed at you back with twice the amount of force, making you lose your own battle.

"Okay! Okay! I'm sorry!" You wiped your face off and disengage with the thunder god, before looking at Fujin with a devious smirk.

"Oh, don't you dar-"

As Raiden watches you be a little troll, he felt amused. Something rare that happens. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ I always imagine the reader goofing off with Liu and Lao and just having the most silliest, wholesome trio...

^Just a small headcanon.

(I fr struggled with the title the most.)

#mortal kombat 11 #mortal kombat #mk imagine #mortal kombat x reader #mortal kombat imagines #mk headcanons #mortal kombat headcanons #fujin #fujin x reader #lord fujin #raiden x reader #lord raiden #raiden #liu kang #liu kang x reader #kung lao #kung lao x reader #sigh #goddesswritings

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bestworstcase · 8 months ago

Note

Thanks for your response ala Ruby & Yang, great stuff!

Idle aside, but do you have any thoughts on Yang's role as the sort of black sheep of the family by dint of Raven associations?

Cos like, Tai overtly favors Ruby, projects Raven onto Yang, resents Raven being rough up and is bad enough about reminders of her Yang feels she has to apologize for his negative reactions. Let alone his... Everything else.

Then there's Qrow who doesn't seem to interact with Yang over much at all and one of if not their most major interaction. Involves him straight up saying he thinks she's either a liar hurting people for fun or "crazy".

I recall someone I was chatting with wondering: Imagine doing everything you can to keep your family from breaking apart & being compared to the woman who left you when you were a baby?

Cos I do wonder how Yang feels about all that given she seems to downplay and or try to work around her family's issues when she can. Let alone what it says about the adults in the room.

smth i think about a lot is the way yang’s narrative about her childhood shifts between v2 to v5

’cause in v2 it’s: “it was tough. ruby was really torn up, my dad kind of shut down. it wasn’t long before i learned why…” all to provide context for this anecdote about putting ruby in a wagon and running away to find her mother. and then her conclusion is “my stubbornness should have gotten us killed that night.”

and while there is a degree here of yang framing the story to emphasize the point she wants blake to understand, it’s also very obvious in her delivery that the emotional reality of this memory for yang is “the time my stupidity and stubbornness almost got me and ruby eaten by grimm”—when she was [checks notes] like five, six years old, and regularly left at home unsupervised.

but in v5, it’s: “my mom left me. ruby’s mom left too. tai was always busy with school, and ruby couldn’t even talk yet; i had to pick up the pieces. i had to pick up the pieces. alone.”

aside from the telling slip (tai, not dad)—yang centers her own feelings and the harm this situation did to her this time. which is something she’s always felt but i don’t think she could have brought herself to say it out loud to anyone during the beacon arc, because it was pressed down under the guilt on display in burning the candle, the feeling of having been inadequate and too stubborn and too selfish and and and–

coughs quietly. “my stubbornness should have gotten us killed that night.” / “you were predictable. and… stubborn. and maybe a little boneheaded.” yang’s narrative about the wagon incident—which happened when she was five or six!—pinning the blame on the thing tai imagines to be her fatal flaw is…probably not coincidental. yang in v4 after a year of being loved by her team and supported by mentors like glynda / oobleck / port has the perspective to know that tai doesn’t know what he’s talking about; but as a small child who’d just had a terrifying near-death experience with her baby sister… 😶

it definitely had a big impact on the way yang sees herself

BUT i do read qrow's talk with yang in 3.8 pretty differently ->

because the context is: yang saw mercury attack her and struck back in self defense, then had like a dozen synthetic soldiers point guns in her face, then looked up and saw the replay footage of herself walking over to shoot a boy who was just kneeling on the ground. and some of the most powerful authority figures in the world are pushing this narrative that stress and adrenaline "clouded her judgment."

like this would make anyone doubt their sanity. bc holy shit.

yang, though...a couple weeks ago, yang after being knocked unconscious woke up and blearily saw someone she thought was her mother walk away from her and disappear in a flash of red light. she hasn't mentioned it to anyone, because it's just so bizarre—yang doesn't know about raven's semblance yet—she must have just been seeing things. right?

aside from raven (who isn't here) and yang (who believes she hallucinated), the only other person who knows that yang saw her mom on the train is qrow, because raven told him about it. he also knows that:

tai insisted on not telling yang ANYTHING about her mother, and qrow respected that up until now; so yang doesn't know about raven's semblance and can't make sense of what she saw.

salem's infiltrators are the same people who attacked amber, and qrow didn't get a good look at them because they seemingly vanished into thin air—pretty damn good chance that one of them has a semblance that manipulates what you see.

ozpin wants #2 kept secret, so yang has some very powerful people actively trying to convince her that she's crazy. ironwood is straight up gaslighting her.

qrow also—based on the first thing he says, which is "why'd you do it?"—seems to consider it a possibility that it is what it looked like but yang did have a good reason, and i actually do not think that is an outrageous thing for qrow specifically to think. because qrow was emotionally abused as a child, and he knows yang, and in the event that yang really did suddenly turn around and punch a guy who was kneeling on the ground, why would she do it?

glances at shay d. mann. well. maybe this kid has been harassing her? maybe he said something horrible or threatening to her and in the heat of the moment she just snapped? maybe "he attacked me, i saw him attack me" isn't really a lie per se, she's just scared that "he's been picking on me ever since he got here and he made a disgusting remark and i just couldn't take it anymore" won't be taken seriously? as in, he did attack her—verbally/emotionally.

it's probably worth asking, at least!

so, qrow leads with "why'd you do it?" in case there is some invisible reason justifying the apparent action. yang says "you know why." qrow goes okay, well, i only know what i saw, so you're either lying (i.e., yang had a reason she now isn't telling) or crazy (i.e., yang saw something different from reality that was very real to her).

she says "i'm not lying." qrow believes her: "crazy, got it."

at this point, he knows the most probable explanation is that one of salem's infiltrators fucked with her head. the inner circle's gaslighting doesn't sit right with him; he's not going to buck ozpin by telling her the truth outright, but he wants to make sure yang knows she isn't losing her mind. he also has all the info needed to guess that yang is actually really really scared that she might be crazy.

which is why he kicks off the wall and begins to pace around. the language he uses sounds dismissive, but his tone is mild and his body language implies "let's talk about it, let's figure this out."

leading to:

YANG: Who knows? Maybe I am. QROW: And here I thought your dark-haired friend was the emo one. YANG: I saw my mom. …I- I was in a lot of trouble, took a pretty hard hit. But when I came to, the person attacking me was gone, and I thought I saw… her. Her sword. Like the one in you and dad’s old picture. QROW: You’re not crazy, Yang. That was your mom, alright. Let me guess—she didn’t say a word, did she? YANG: How did you know that? QROW: I don't see my sister very often, but she does try to keep in touch... whenever it suits her. YANG: Wait—you mean you talk to her? That was real!? QROW: Yeah, she found me. Had a tip from my most recent assignment and wanted me to give you a message.

it's really telling that yang responds to him this way. 'cause we've seen how yang acts when she feels dismissed or belittled:

TAI: Well, "normal" is what you make of it. YANG: What is that supposed to mean? Do you want me to just pretend like nothing happened? I lost a part of me. A piece of me is gone. And it's never coming back. TAI: You're right. It's not coming back. But that doesn't have to stop you from becoming who you wanna be. You're Yang Xiao Long, my sunny little dragon. You can do whatever you put your mind to. So whenever you're ready to stop moping, and get back out there? I'll be there for you. YANG: I– I...

she freezes and shuts down! her teachers have to come to her rescue!—but when qrow goes "crazy, got it" and suggests she's being "emo," yang blurts out her big secret. i saw my mom. to me that suggests a level of trust and understanding that isn't there with tai: qrow says stuff like "okay, so you're crazy" and "here i thought your friend was the emo one" but what he means is "hey, i know something's really bugging you, tell me about it," and yang picks up what he's putting down.

it's akin to how ruby goes "did you miss me? DID YOU MISS ME??" and qrow's like "nope" and they both laugh. or the back-and-forth ribbing between him and the girls in 3.4. there's this layer of mild ironic meanness in the way qrow converses with his nieces that all of them are fluent in, and in this scene he's using that mode to signal that "crazy" is not off-limits, that it's okay to talk about openly.

crucially, there's a code-switch in the middle of the conversation: as soon as yang gets real and says "i saw my mom," qrow reflects that seriousness back to her. you're not crazy, that was your mom, she found me afterward and told me about it. it was real. you're okay. qrow's ability to do that—to shift into a more serious mode when irony isn't appropriate—is why yang can have this rapport with him that she doesn't have with tai, because tai isn't... being ironic when he says mean or dismissive things to her.

anyway, qrow passes on raven's terrible message and then kind of annotates it: "raven's got an interesting way of looking at the world that i don't particularly agree with, and she's dangerous." (which is a very diplomatic way of saying he thinks raven is full of shit. lol.) but then he connects this whole conversation about raven back to what happened after the match: "you're a tough egg, kiddo. don't let this tournament thing getcha down. you had a slip-up; sometimes bad things just happen."

implicitly: yang isn't crazy. what she saw on the train was real, a product of raven's personality and her semblance. sometimes bad things just happen. qrow believes that yang had the experience she says she did when she punched mercury. he doesn't know why she had that experience—yang doesn't either!—but he knows she isn't just "crazy." sometimes things that seem crazy are actually real.

remember what he tells the girls in 3.4? "you may be acting like huntresses, but you're not thinking like one." same thing here. he's telling yang, hey, you're not crazy, you know what you saw, but you don't know what or who caused you to see it. "you cut off the head of the king taijitu, but now the second head's calling the shots."

hint, hint.

it's subtler than the hints qrow drops for ruby in 3.12, but very much in the same vein, and yang is plenty smart enough to figure it out. she might... not have? in the couple of hours between this conversation and everything going to straight to hell, but if they'd had literally just one more day, just long enough for the wheels turning in yang's head to click together with what ruby heard from velvet about coco hallucinating during her and yatsu's 2v2 against emerald and mercury, she would've had it.

more... generally, i've never gotten the sense that qrow projects raven's flaws onto yang in the way that tai does; qrow is definitely a lot closer with ruby than yang, but i think that has less to do with favoritism on qrow's part than it does ruby thinking he's like the COOLEST uncle ever and wanting to use a scythe like he does.

'cause like, qrow isn't their parent, he doesn't live with them, he's not responsible for raising these kids like their dad is, so while he obviously did contribute to fucking them both up because: alcoholic, ultimately there just isn't the same degree of betrayal or emotional abandonment; he's not their dad. both times yang talks in detail about her childhood, it's "my mom left, ruby's mom left, tai wasn't really around, ruby couldn't even talk, i was alone"—she doesn't mention qrow. there isn't that deep hurt, that feeling that qrow is someone who left.

when he isn't drunk, yang seems to feel pretty okay around him, and qrow likewise treats her... honestly a lot better than tai does:

he stops by their dorm in v3 to hang out with both his nieces; yang is fully in sister mode—cheers for ruby to beat him until ruby loses, immediately shoves her out of the way like "my turn!! >:D"—and qrow ribs them both, takes ribbing from both of them in good humor, tells both of them "you two are gonna go far."

qrow nicknames to show affection; ruby is "pipsqueak," yang gets "firecracker."

we only see qrow's goodbye to ruby, but in 5.4 yang indicates that qrow came to talk to her before he left, too. she also has complete trust that he's keeping the promise he made to look after ruby.

yang, as noted, opens up to him about seeing her mom; she's also shocked that he's still in contact with raven and indignant that he didn't tell her sooner, but—unlike with tai—she doesn't seem surprised that qrow is willing to talk about raven in general.

which tracks with what tai says in 4.11: "despite asking him numerous times not to, i know qrow told you where you're mother's been at these days"—meaning, this was a point of contention between him and qrow. behind the scenes, while tai refused to discuss raven at all, qrow was going okay well, let me tell her then, she deserves to know. and then ultimately he just bit the bullet and told her behind tai's back. i wouldn't be surprised if it turned out qrow had been straight with yang that her dad wanted to be the one to tell her the important stuff, and he wanted to be respectful of that, but raven wasn't an off-limits topic.

general contrast between yang-tai and yang-qrow dynamics; for example both of them say almost verbatim "you've got a long way to go before you're ready for the real world" (3.4/4.4). from tai it's belittling, he's insulting her; from qrow, it's meant to encourage, it's "remember you're still new to this, you'll make mistakes, just keep learning, keep trying." (rwby does stuff like this all the time, refracting an idea in different directions to highlight contrasts between characters; ozpin's advice to ruby vs port's advice to weiss is another example.)

a lot of qrow's resentment toward raven is centered on her abandonment of yang: "did you know yang lost her arm? [...] rhetorical question, i know you know. it's just obnoxious that you'd bring up family and then carry on like your own daughter doesn't exist. [raven: "i saved her."] once. because that was your rule, right? real mom of the year material, sis." like he is PISSED on yang's behalf that raven won't even try.

my impression is that qrow—although a) often away on long missions in far away places and b) an alcoholic who sometimes got blind drunk and became a burden yang and ruby needed to take care of—when he did manage to be there, made a serious effort to connect with both of them. he ended up being closer to ruby bc she wanted to learn scythe-wielding, but i do think qrow would've trained yang too (or instead) if the girls had different combat interests.

and while his relationship with ruby has a mentorish aspect, i don't get the sense either of the girls see him as a parental figure: he wasn't part of their household, he traveled a lot, his alcoholism in combination with tai's neglect eroded the adult-child boundaries because they had to be responsible for him as often as the reverse. he's a friend who also happens to be related to them. and that's especially true for yang, because he wasn't her teacher.

(i know it's a... pretty common headcanon / fanon that qrow lived with them, but i really don't think that's supported by the text? whenever ruby or yang look back on their childhoods, the family unit is always them + tai, and qrow isolates himself out of fear that his semblance will injure those he cares about. plus ozpin sending him all over the place as the one member of team strq still active. it makes way more sense to think he lived alone, and visited when he had the chance. which is the main reason i'm WAY softer on him than on tai, 'cause qrow wasn't in a caretaker/parent role; at most he was an occasional babysitter. so while his incidents of turning up drunk on the doorstep contributed to the harm... it's like, it would absolutely have been better for them if qrow were sober, but that wouldn't have changed anything about their home life. they'd just have somewhat easier relationships with qrow.)

TO WRAP THIS BACK AROUND TO THE QUESTION, tai is unfairly judgmental and harsh with yang bc he projects his idea of her mom onto her; yang also has a better relationship with her mom's brother than she does with her dad. how do these two dynamics interact? how does yang feel about hearing from tai that she's too branwen, so to speak, while also getting along better with the branwen side of her family? how might that fuel her desire to find raven?

if her uncle treats her better than tai does, then... maybe her mom would too, if only yang could reach her?—obviously it's not rational, but like. i don't think five year old yang put her baby sister in a wagon and ran away to find her mom because she thought she would ask "why did you leave me?" and then get her answer and go home. as yang grew older and developed a more realistic perspective it shifted to "i just need to know why she left" and she projects that backward onto herself as a child, but at the time what she wanted, what she was looking for, was someone who would take care of them.

#never-ending heap of yang thoughts

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midnightbears · 9 months ago

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✿ tell 'em how the crowds went wild! tell 'em how i hope they shine!

⎯ in which you look back on how grateful you are for the opportunity bestowed upon you. aka: you joined the opla's cast!

#STARRING. iñaki godoy, mackenyu, jacob romero, taz skylar, emily rudd ft. fem!reader [elle fanning 4 faceclaim but u can imagine y/n anyway u wish!].

#TAGS. sfw, kind of context, a bit of smau but its tiny. mentions of covid just in case it's triggering?

#NOTE. pardon my rusty writing but i really wanted to get this out!!! i added an oc from one piece for the sake of the story but she's barely mentioned so uuuh yuh! timeline may be wrong but i work with what i'm given please bear with me. let me know if you would like more fics of this y/n??? ALSO IGNORE THE WATERMARKS ON THE PHOTOS I NEEDED TO MAKE THEM NEATER

In the past, if someone were to come up to you and tell you that you’d be a part of the One Piece Live Action main cast in the future, you would’ve probably laughed in their faces despite your wishful thinking.

At that time, you were content with your work, doing short theatre plays with companies or gaining minor roles in musicals. Everything changed when you landed the role for the one-woman show Fleabag for a limited time on London’s West End after the leading actress underwent emergency surgery for an appendectomy. You only acted as the sex-obsessed mess of a woman for about three weeks, but it was enough time for people to notice you, to really see you.

You believed your career had reached its pinnacle when you were cast as Katherine Howard in Six: The Musical in London. Your name had become somehow well-known in the musical theatre world, and you had a small but dedicated fan base who liked uploading edits of you being a dork during the Megasix on YouTube and TikTok.

Months later, you were bound to play as Fantine for Les Miserables when COVID abruptly struck, and you were dismayed that your job was ripped from you so abruptly. Your best friend, the sweetest person on earth, insisted on you moving in with her in fear that you’d be evicted from your apartment.

Months passed, and you eventually found a small way to help your friend pay rent by offering singing and acting lessons online to musical-aspiring teenagers. Since you had gained many followers from your earlier work on social media, it didn’t surprise you when the classes became sold out.

Your friend also convinced you to create a YouTube channel for you to upload videos of yourself (sometimes joined by her) where you watched and commented shitty movies, followed DIY tutorials just for the fun of it, performed covers of your favorite songs, and just generally vlogged your life (along with reactions to Taylor Swift’s (From The Vault) songs).

At first, you thought it was pretty stupid, but you were delightfully proved wrong when your videos harbored over 200k-300k views on a bad day, so you found no reason to stop as COVID-19 continued, growing to gain a little over five hundred thousand followers. Your reactions were often used for TikTok audios or clips, so you found your popularity growing and evolving during that year.

You believed yourself to be a general, simple woman. People liked you because you were elegant and levelheaded, although you could sometimes be chaotic. You also had a subtle sense of humor that many found charming. But mostly, you grew a steady fan base because your videos and presence comforted countless young adults and teenagers.

You were an optimist and a reassuring one, so during the times when COVID was so prominent, people sought refuge from the monstrosities of the world in your videos, where you seemed to connect with them even though you were on the other side of the screen.

However, everything changed somewhere in 2020-2021. That evening, your best friend got home from work with excitement practically oozing out of her every pore. You and your best friend were avid anime watchers and manga readers, so you couldn’t help the face you made when she told you that One Piece was getting a live-action.

Although you were skeptical, your friend practically insisted you send an audition tape. You grimaced at that. It was well-known that live anime actions were almost always corny and cringeworthy compared to the original work, and people never liked them. You had learned that much from Death Note and a couple of others. However, your best friend convinced you with this argument:

“If it’s that bad, then at least you’ll gain more followers out of the memes that people will make, and if it’s good, you’ll still get famous anyway!”

Eventually, you sent a video of you performing one of the lengthy monologues from Fleabag to your agency and simply hoped for the best. Your friend was practically rooting for you to get the role of Anastasia, one of the first integrants of the Straw Hat crew, joining before Sanji and after Usopp. You adored her as she greatly reminded you of your late mother, although you would be happy with any role.

Somewhere in November 2021, you remember a lot of screaming and crying. When you try to look back on it, all you remember is the happiness you felt when you received confirmation of the role of Anastasia. You were practically over the moon, and you and your friend celebrated inside your small apartment. You were entirely alone, just two drunk girls dancing and cheering, until one of the neighbors knocked on the ceiling with a broom.

liked by inakigo, emilyrudd and 574,949 others

yourusername actually lost for words and filled to the brim with gratitude...... i cannot express how excited i am to play my girl anastasia and bring her to life. from the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone who has supported me. your faith in me means everything. congrats to iñaki, emily, jacob, mackenyu and taz, thank you to onepiecenetflix, thank you to my best friend for convincing me to audition for the role, and thank you, oda sensei, for putting anastasia's heart in my hands. love u all <3

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November 10, 2021

y/nsfanclub.02, AAAAAAAA SO EXCITED FOR THIS I ACTUALLY CANT BELIEVE IT

⤷ starl6ighwnb, LIKE FR IM GNAWING AT THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE THIS IS INSANE

user8392y3r927y, HELLO YOUR GRACE ANASTASIA

inakigo, Congrats!!!!!!!!

taz_skylar, 🔥🔥🔥

The One Piece fan base dearly loved the character of Anastasia, a well-mannered, bubbly, upbeat, fashion-loving duchess who always spoke in a Transatlantic accent but also had a quick wit and a bit of a sweet tooth. Anastasia’s dream was to become the most dangerous pirate to ever grace the seas and prove everyone who doubted her wrong.

Of course, with a big character came a big responsibility.

Sometimes, insecurity nearly got the better of you. You had to fill huge shoes, and there were many people to convince and impress. However, your love for this project was bigger than the gnawing uncertainty on the back of your neck, so you continued strongly until the end of Season One, finding comfort in your cast mates and the countless people who counted on you and, most importantly, believed in you.

Oda handpicked you, and that argument alone was enough to shoot any insecurities away.

Well, needless to say, people loved you!

Critics acclaimed your portrayal of the character, as well as the commendable chemistry you shared with the rest of the cast. The fans found it incredibly funny that your character was the complete opposite of how you actually acted in real life, and you often found yourself blissfully immersed in the fan base's love and praise.

Your channel and social media suddenly grew tenfold. Although you had stopped uploading videos every week due to the recording of season one, your followers were more than happy to wait for your return, and as one would expect, they were thrilled to have you back once you did upload a vlog explaining everything.

Over the course of the six months, you had been recording from time to time for a YouTube video in the set. Previously, you had asked the producers for permission to record some behind-the-scenes for your channel and your usual interactions with the rest of the cast with your personal Sony camera, as you felt it would be a nice way to bring the fans and the cast closer.

The producers gave the okay on the condition that you would wait until the first season aired on Netflix. You happily agreed and carefully began recording some scenes of your dressers and hairdressers as they prepared you, a few shots of your instructor showing you how you were supposed to use the guns that Anastasia employed... simple things.

Back in the day, you were still getting acquainted with the other cast members, and you didn't want to seem rude by forcibly making them appear on your videos, so you waited for a few weeks until you could properly call yourself companions. Then, you invited them to appear in the videos.

Iñaki, Taz, and Jacob liked to take advantage of the little free time they had between scenes they didn't appear in to innocently steal your camera and use it to their heart's content. One day, you got home only to find the memory card was completely full. It was an extensive video of them walking around the set, with Taz recording while Kiki and Jacob pointed out random stuff to the people who lived inside your camera, as Jacob liked to call them.

Mackenyu, being more reserved and introverted, mostly liked to act as a cameraman for you as you showed the props you used and other things, often making comments or turning the camera around whenever you referred to something.

Meanwhile, Emily had a natural knack for being in front of the camera. Whenever you asked her to join in, she effortlessly slipped into the co-host role, bantering with you and adding her own insights into the behind-the-scenes world of the show.

With the first season out of the way, you took the time to carefully pick what videos you wanted to use in the final tape, and it took you a little over a month and a half to properly edit it and turn it into a wonderful thirty-minute-long behind-the-scenes. You even sent it to the producers and your co-stars in case there was a scene they wanted deleted. Fortunately, they all gave you the okay.

You teased the video a bit on your Instagram before uploading it a few days later, and the support it received was out of this world. It gained over two million views and hundreds of thousands of likes.

You were kind of expecting this. While some BTS had already been uploaded on YouTube, yours was different because you were showing it from your perspective. The fans loved every second of it, and even started asking for a second or third part. You even saw new videos on YouTube of recompilations from your video with the titles being silly things like The One Piece Cast Being Chaotic for Seven Minutes.

At that moment, your life felt so full. You were getting contacted by industries who wanted you to appear on their videos and their stages, thousands of fans who loved you, and a feeling so peculiar that this would be eternal.

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yourusername missing my wig and my gang hours ☹️

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November 10, 2023

morganlogoff, love love love you💗💗💗

curlikaqy, NO ONE KNOWS I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN

emilyrudd, GIRL I WANT TO SEE YOU COME BACK TO AMERICA

bookofjacob, missing your camera hours💔

#one piece #one piece live action #one piece la #opla #one piece x reader #one piece x you #one piece live action x reader #one piece live action x you #iñaki godoy #emily rudd #jacob romero gibson #jacob romero #taz skylar #mackenyu #one piece x y/n #opla x reader #opla x you #midnightbears

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interstellar-productions · 2 months ago

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So this is probably unimportant to anyone who reads this but i feel like i need to explain my though process here, I’m a psych major specializing in abnormal psych with interest in creative writing and art. Very much an art, science and history girlie. Im saying this so there’s some context to the way I visualize certain things.

I want to elaborate on my view of the foxes in a less scientific and more artistic view, metaphors and imagery.

I see Aaron very much as someone who internalizes his hurts. My brain conjures up the example that as he was growing up he was the type that every time a piece of him cracked off he picked it up, at first perhaps to use as a weapon. Taking the jagged edge and using it to lash out but that only got him bad things growing up with Tilda. (Who I imagine as the embodiment of catholic guilt, she knows what she’s doing is wrong but she’s so consumed by her hatred and bad choices the only way she can internalize it is through violence. Specifically directed at Aaron.) So as he got a little older he took those edges and hurt himself with them.

Aaron would have known from living with Tilda that physical marks raise questions that cause trouble, so it wouldn’t have been the same form of self harm that Andrew and some of the others used. But he i image he would have taken those edges and used them to hurt himself mentally, self hatred and self harm that doesn’t leave lasting marks.

Then Andrew and Nicky and Luther start getting in the picture. Tilda was always to strung out to notice and the men she brought around didn’t care. So Aaron learn to carefully shave the edges of his jagged pieces down, purposefully cutting up the parts of himself that remain and taking tape to stick it all back together. Trying to form some semblance of a human being that wont make people ask questions. The pieces don’t fit right though, some pieces are still jagged, some pieces are too smooth, some he cut down too much to be able to put them back right.

By the time AFTG is taking place Aaron has probably caused himself so much damage by trying to self internalize he issues that he more so resembles a stained glass piece before its soldered together. Just pieces that loosely sort of fit together that might be something one day but could also just as easily smash into a million pieces.

Aaron lives his life being one step from the edge. A minor inconvenience could send him spiraling, a change in his routine throwing his entire day off. But he barely registers major incidents. Because for Aaron ignoring the big things is how he survives and yet the things that keeps him alive is focusing on the small details. The little things here or there that convince both him and everyone else that he’s perfectly normal. Sort of like how you can take a piece of glass and drop it from a pretty significant height and it’ll be fine so long as it lands in a way that distributes the impact. Where as if you drop a piece of glass from a small height but it lands on the wrong corner it shaders.

Aaron knows that if he can’t be normal, if he can’t convince himself or others that he is, he’ll fall apart. And if his pieces fall apart there will be no glueing them back together. There will be no getting back up. That’s part of the reason why the foxes put him on edge so much. He’s a unsoldered stained glass piece and the foxes are a swinging hammer. If they collide the foxes will survive but Aaron wont.

#all for the game #aftg #andrew minyard #neil josten #aaron minyard #stars rambles #y’all are going to be SICK of me #how many times can i beat a dead horse #im sorry its the adhd #this is how i live my life this is the stuff that flies around my brain #i live every moment simply plagued by thoughts #i usually put this shit in my journals but i like the dopamine of this

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kit-kat-jo · 5 months ago

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My Murder Drones Finale Analysis... 2/2 - 1/2

jesus, imagine getting your entire life force RIPPED out your body, and being able to look back at it. i feel like this is only a taste of what the dissassembly drones went through during transformation.

uzi desperately trying to scoop her core back into her gaping open chest will haunt me for life, i think. and her hands haven't regenned yet, leaving her to scramble even more. absolutely. horrific. probably gonna be the most gruesome moment in this series for me altogether. didn't even notice N getting yoinked away there lol

this whole sequence as well… we, or N starts hearing a second voice while she repeats “let me in,” but who is it?? the actual cyn? one thing i know for sure though, is here is where N starts to get his past flashbacks, specifically of being torn apart and transformation. fuuuucked. up

i realize now that Uzi’s protecting her core from Cyn’s callback pings in all the times she’s grabbing at her chest, but at first i really thought she was terrified of losing her core again. which: UNDERSTANDABLE GIRLIE!! MY heart?? broke.

so, N did see the actual Cyn while he got tore open. and now he’s having proper trauma flashbacks and getting back bits and pieces. this absolutely breaks my heart, seeing how desperately panicked he gets, watching memories of what i’m only assuming is V being transformed. my sweet baby. for a moment i thought for sure he was going into a full panic attack. it’s a good thing hand holding pulled him out of a full on episode, but i think this man deserves a nice big breakdown after everything to process all the shit he’s been through. pretty sure V needs the same thing, having held onto these memories a whole lot longer. post series group therapy sesh?

i think i'm gonna hear CALLBACK PING in my nightmares, actually.

AND THIS IS WHERE I FUCKING CRY!!! after everything, after learning J was never on their side, V breaks. she needs to let everything out in the open to N. her apology and genuine emotion is so, so important to me… she LOVES him! always did! and it fucking hurt to have to hide like she did, only for it to all be a trick! she wanted to be honest with him this whole time, but she was so scared! she felt like she HAD to resort to acting resentful towards him and pushing him away! it gets me so, so bad.

and then N sacrifices his own safety to save her.

also teefs.

sorry

oh god. when V realizes that she’s only led N to his death… and that this long ago promise was only one big trick… everything falls down around her. she desperately grasps at being able to fix this. she blames herself. as Eternal Dream plays in the background… it was always their song, man. it was always V singing to N. so many of the lyrics fucking HURT now, putting it into this bittersweet context.

“let my body keep you warm, let my essence be your breeze, can you hear me calling? please look out for me. can you set me free?” it was always a love letter to N. (platonically. i see it platonically, better yet, in a sibling way.) the wishes she had for him to know everything. for them to be together. for her to not have to hide. to go home, to be set free from her neverending dream. it’s all so horrible and lovely and poetic to me. she deserves everything. they deserve everything.

and then her expressions as Cyn’s about to eat N’s heart, agonizingly slowly, staring her straight in the eyes so mockingly to pour salt in the colossal gaping wound. HEGGDHHSGSGGH💔

on a side note, i find it so interesting how, seemingly, a drone’s core magnetically gets yanked back to the body as soon as it gets a tiny chance. very ehm… helpful.

bi uzi tho. QUEEEEEEN PROUD OF HER FOR COMING OUT 💜

“glad you’re not dead or whatever.” waaaahahahh. they care for each other. bwuhuhuhh.

here, howd she stop letting the callback ping effect her….? just from being cringe and free?…. queen i guess?

also, she can effectively control the solver without cyn making it go crazy anymore. is this a result of just practicing and gaining more control over it? she’s just built different? or another plot hole? shrug noise. i said i was oddly okay with the plot holes, so that stands true here too.

nori already flinging herself into mom mode with her terms of endearment had me CRYING BRO!!! development!! she went from “i caused every horror in her life,” i gotta stay away from her, to HELL YEAH THAT’S MY DAUGHTER, KICKING ASS!! mom of the year ❤️

the entire fight scene was SO GOOD!!! i need AJ Dispirito’s “Bite Me” song injected into my bloodstream RIGHT NEOOWW!!

i’m obsessed with seeing them hold hands to calm each other down after a moment that affects one of them. it’s my favorite thing. we came so far from episode 6…… wipes tear

the lyrics focused on these two here is interesting to me… V saying to let her go, Uzi saying she’s not worth saving… either i’m looking too deep into it or OUCH GUYS NOOHOHO, MY SWEETIES

this had to be giffed. also, i love these scenes breaking the immersion several times and showing that all this time the nightcore is just playing through uzi’s ipod in the distance. absolutely genius.

i’ll admit, i was so confused from the black hole scene at first. but now i understand somewhat. after uzi grabbed her core and formed a [null,] she essentially had cyn’s life force. all those times she got away by turning herself into a black hole and floating off... that was essentially HER. in the void here, cyn had to try and get it back to come back to the living, like a drone putting their core back in their chest but in a weird, eltrich cyn way, i guess? instead of her core, its the manifestation of the solver itself? cyn’s and tessa’s bodies are so far gone, that all that’s left is the solver? and as soon as uzi saw what was happening, she knew she couldn’t have it back.

she fucking eated it…. homph. that was not on cyn’s bingo card. the eyes are HILARIOUS

awwwww husband wife reunion! she is so uzi’s mother.

and now, before we get into the end of things, my vizzy propaganda. not only did lizzy KNOW that v wasnt dead, and distracted j for her, but now, in @ottterpops' words, the sentinel is just like the pet she doesn’t want. its her and v’s daughter now, it’ll grow on her for sure : )

and now, my chosen video! :D

EVERYTHING about this scene, N calling for her, the HUG, him squeezing the LIFE out of her, her noises of getting choked and giggling, sent arrows straight through my heart, THEYRE SUCH CUTIES AAUHHHHG!! n spinning her around and throwing her in the air, her tackling v, ugh! THEY GOT THEIR HAPPY LITTLE ENDING!

she’s a fucking mary sue guys, ohhhh my lord. the eyes are so so cool though, they literally look like a sunset. she is living her best mary sue life now, jesus christ. she deserves it ❤️

uzi, uzi my beloved. she feels like a dear, dear friend, my sweet little emo who goes through the horrors and comes out of it with all her unhinged goofy cringe. i love her so, so much, and i’m SO fucking proud of these three. they deserve the happiest little life together.

and lastly, end credits!!! during the series rewatch, my friends and i joked that the finale should involve n getting to play a game of cards with everyone. and HAHA SKFHSJCKSJDHDJS

oh they’re def watching a scary movie… look at the way they hold onto each other, i’m done 😭😭 if i redraw anything, it’s gonna be this first tbh.

i ran out of space for images again, but! the solver still being alive in uzi is so good, she’s gonna be a real pain in the ass… the implications this brings up is so fun to think about, ugh the possibility for spinoff series is crazy! i’ll be waiting with baited breath for more content from glitch, whatever it may be! i’ll be happy!

alright, this is probably the longest frickin post i’ve ever made. but god, did i love this show. i’m so grateful my friend got me into it, and i can’t wait to continue loving it, rewatching it and messing with my stories for as long as that’s gonna last.

thank you Murder Drones, Glitch, and Liam Vickers. now to waste money that i don’t have on merch!! 💫

#murder drones #md #uzi doorman #serial designation n #murder drones finale #serial designation v #serial designation j #cyn #tessa james elliot #liam vickers animation #glitch productions #series analysis #GOD im gonna miss these guys!! what a lovely lovely experience #mwah mwah mwah

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miraculouslbcnreactions · 4 months ago

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Since Miraculous Ladybug is becoming for more mature audiences it should split povs between Marinette and Adrien. Its upsetting how Adrien has such a main character backstory yet he's not apart of it or a major character in the show even though he feels like it. It feels like he should be Marinette's costar but he's treated as some guy most of the time. I get that Marinette's the main character but still Adrien feels so wasted on. Honestly he kinda reminds me of Steven Universe. Dead mom, complex with not being entirely human, well meaning but absent dad(Gabriel's hearts was in the right place but just went down hill). Like when Adrien finds out about the whole sentimonster thing imagine the identity crisis he's gonna have. I also wonder what they're gonna do with Emilie. She's not dead anymore and she was the driving force for why Gabriel did what he did. I wonder if she's gonna be a good mom or if the fan theories are right and she's just as bad if not worse then Gabriel. Rose haunted the narrative because she was so important if it wasn't for her and her actions we probably wouldn't even have Steven Universe or the many momswap aus. But after Gabriel got all the Miraculouses Emilie felt kinda of forgotten and last minute when she was talked about.

Are there any other shows that you sometimes compare Miraculous too?

I don't think that Miraculous is aiming at more mature audiences now unless there was some announcement that I missed? If anything, I'm expecting season six to tone things back down because I'm guessing that it's going to be a soft reboot. New main villain, new animation style, new school, the signs are all there.

Shows rarely ever change their target audience like that. It's just too risky a move. You have to redo the marketing and somehow convey to parents that the show is no longer safe for their child as it's aimed at teens now. But anyone who wants a more serious show for teens isn't going to want to sit through the first five seasons which were not written like a serious show for teens, so the audience for this would be the small subsection of viewers who want to watch their childhood favorite get more serious.

While that's certainly a demographic, it's not the massive one you get when you stick to anyone ages five-and-up. Since five-and-up is also where the toy sales are and Miraculous has a lot of tie-in toys, it would be pretty wild if they abandoned that demographic at this point. I dug up an old tweet that I remembered seeing to give my warning some extra backing. For full context, this was in reply to a tweet asking if the writers consider the teen audience when writing the show:

[Image description: a tweet from the show's head writer reading "they are not the primary audience. The main target is kids 5 to 12 max. It doesn't mean we don't consider older audiences. But it means that whatever we write must not leave the kids behind."]

This tweet is admittedly over two years old and anything is technically possible, but I would strongly caution you against having expectations for more serious content unless you know something that I don't. The show was originally sold as to investors, distributors, and so on as a kids show and, unless they were able to renegotiate those agreements, it's going to stay a kids show.

I'd also caution you against assuming that Emilie is alive. I thought that was where the show went, too, but statements from the writers have made it pretty clear that Emilie is well and truly dead, which further supports my soft reboot theory. Bringing her back means a stronger tie to the previous seasons and you don't want that for a soft reboot.

Please don't read this as me praising that writing choice! I think it was stupid as hell to magically bring back Nathalie while killing off Emilie. They were both dying and only one of them is a domestic terrorist who actively chose death by knowingly using the broken Miraculous. The other is a Good And Pure Soul Who Was Too Perfect For This Cruel World (or, at least, that's what the show seems to want us to think). Plus, if you're going to use the wish, do something big! Change the status quo! But that's not how formula shows work so they probably couldn't do that.

Quick side note: this is my best guess as to why the leaked scripts indicated that Emilie was going to come back when season five ended the show. Series finales are usually allowed include elements that would ruin the formula if the show continued because the show isn't continuing. Season finales are not allowed to do that because the next season needs to stick to the same formula. When season five went from end-of-show to a mere end-of-season, that probably signed Emilie's death warrant. Sorry Adrien, no happy ending for you! Hope you like being an orphan!

Moving on!

In my opinion, it feels like they only used the wish to let Gabriel die and get rid of Emilie without it being too traumatic for the indented audience, but it's still basically a murder suicide being treated as a happy ending which is wild! At least it was a pretty one where the murderer and his victim ascended into the light?

We admittedly might see larger impacts from the wish next season as we don't explicitly know what the wish was, but have they ever let a season finale lead to something interesting? Not really, so I don't see why that would change now. I'm not even sure if Adrien's sentistatus is going to come up again. It should, but it may also just fizzle out because the writers don't know how to deal with it. The sentimonster thing is not the kind of plot point that you can handle in 20 minutes, especially when you have to include some sort of akuma fight, too. Bringing up the sentistuff would also complicate a soft reboot so, yeah, I have no idea if they're ever going to touch it again.

As far as recs for shows like Miraculous go, I'm afraid that you'll have to be a little more specific about what you're looking for because Miraculous is trying and failing to be a lot of things. If you want a duo show with a lot of banter, a badass female lead, and a goofy-but-narratively-important male lead, then I'd point to Kim Possible. If you want a team show with romantic undertones, then Teen Titans is a good pick. If you want identity shenanigans, magic, and romance, then American Dragon Jake Long might be worth checking out in spite of the very dated slang, though fair warning that one is enemies to lovers. It's done in a very fun way, but it's not a partner show like Miraculous kind of is and the romance is also not the main focus.

Part of the reason I was drawn to Miraculous is that shows about superheroes don't tend to have a strong romance element to them, so there aren't a ton of options for me to give you when it come to shows that fill a similar niche. However, if you're willing to go into the realms of fanfic, then you've got a wealth of options. Pretty much any property with secret identities will have fics about identity shenanigan romances. Love squares are nothing new. I've been reading them for years! I basically watched Twelfth Night when I was about eight and never looked back. Identity shenanigans or bust!

People will even bring them into fandoms that don't have any secret identities because identity shenanigans are really fun to play with! They make for some of the best romances. I'm sure that you can also find them in novels, but it's not something I've seen a lot of, so I mostly stick to fanfic for my identity shenanigan needs. That's where almost all my recs are from.

Should I do a fanfic plug to demonstrate what I mean? Yeah, why not. This baby deserves more readers and, if you like Miraculous, then you'll probably love this. (Seriously, if you read it, feel free to come talk to me about it. It's so good and also proof that I really am drawn to very specific tropes. What can I say other than I know what I like?)

We Didn't Start The Fire by ohhgingersnaps

Ava is all burned out, literally— she’s an exhausted JojaCo employee by daylight, and pyrokinetic superhero The Phoenix by moonlight, until she accidentally starts a fire at work and has to blame it on her superpowered alter-ego to avoid being discovered. The Phoenix is forced into early retirement, and with nothing else to lose, Ava moves to her grandfather’s old farm for a new start. Between restoring the farm, resolutely bottling all of her feelings, and trying to keep her powers under wraps, Ava has a lot on her plate. She’ll figure it out. Eventually. She hopes. Meanwhile, the hacker Memento, Phoenix’s good friend and confidant, is left to pick up the pieces alone after her sudden disappearance. He’s fully convinced that she didn’t start the fire, and he’s determined to discover the truth and clear her name... As long as he doesn’t fall for the pretty new farmer down the road, first. Part superhero AU, part mental health recovery arc, and part rom-com, topped with a generous serving of secret identity love square shenanigans, hurt/comfort, shameless flirting and banter, and dramatic irony.

I've mentioned before that I don't like OC main characters. Video games are the one exception to that rule. I'm really not big on reader inserts (no judgement, just personal preference), so when I read fanfic for a video game with a self-insert type main character, I'm looking to read about people's fully developed OCs, but I also want a good deal of the focus to be on the game's characters as they're the only reason I'm looking for stuff to read. That's what this fic is and I love it!

I also wouldn't normally rec fanfic for properties outside of Miraculous since this is specifically a Miraculous blog, but this is Stardew Valley fanfic, which is why I picked it over fic from other, more complex properties. If you don't know that game, it's a farming sim whose cast is developed enough for you to get attached to them, but who don't have a ton of depth, so you can read this sucker without having touched the game because there's no deep lore here. The game dev is apparently pretty open about the fact that he kept lots of things about the characters ambiguous so you could read things like their relationships and ages in whatever way makes you happy. Only prep work I might recommend is reading the character summaries from the game's wiki and you'd only need to do that for the named characters.

As I said above, fics like this are where I get my more-serious-story-with-identity-shenanigan-included itch scratched and are what I'd recommend looking for in either fanfic or original fiction form if that's what you like as TV shows just don't seem to have this kind of content, probably because TV shows often draw plot lines out to maximize views while novel-style stories generally have a clear end goal, which is why it can be hard for TV romances to feel satisfying. However, there are certainly a ton of TV shows that I haven't watched, so if anyone has recs for anon, then feel free to drop a comment or give this a reblog with your rec list.

#ml writing critical #ml writing salt #anon ask #Why was I reading Stardew Valley fanfic?#Because none of the characters were acknowledging my budding romance!!!#Robin. I am seducing your son. Say something about it!#Welcome me to the family. Lower your prices! Raise your prices! Do something! Anything!#And Sam? No well wishes for your bestie's new girl? I am disappointed #So I looked to fanfic to give me what I wanted because I was playing on the switch and had no access to mods #My life is very trying sometimes.

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chewingbatmanlikeasqueakytoy · 9 months ago

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Okay this is actually a partial reply to another post

but my reply got so long i think tumblr literally cant cope LMAO so (context the Amity park perception filter thread with @kaidatheghostdragon which i will edit a link into after posting (X) Edit: the context link is now attached)

Honestly they might not CRASH crash the economy but I honestly think they could do some serious damage. At the very least if Amity is going to start essentially printing USD with these cards to get infrastructure and the like set up the inflation within the town is going to go crazy and they might just need a new currency. I think it's also determined by how LARGE you consider Amity to be. As I've always seen it described as a small town I've always envisioned it to have a population of around 10,000 people. AS IT TURNS OUT the wiki describes it as 'Amity Park is depicted as a moderately large urban city, reminiscent of Chicago, San Francisco, and/or Philadelphia' WHICH IS WAY LARGER THAN I IMAGINED. I don't know SHIT about American cities or their layouts apart from the fact that Everything Is Squares and also apparently the junctions are death(? Apparently America doesn't have roundabouts??? Bro??? I don't know if that was a Simpsons gag but I think about it maybe half as often as I use roundabouts), BUT the point is that google says those cities are somewhere around 800,000 to 2.6 million.

Honestly I think those are weird numbers because those are enough of a range to not be at all considered the same size imo but we'll take Philadelphia as our base bc that's the one in the middle at 1.5 million. In "Amity Park's" population statistics (X) if you take everyone from 20-44 (we're pretending people under 20 can't get one bc apparently 13 year olds can get them with special permissions and that fills me with a special kind of anguish to have learned) but if you take everyone from 20-44 that population totals something like 613,028.

We'll give an error margin of 10% to account for people who are auto disqualified for whatever reason and between that error margin and the people I'm ignoring I think it's realistic to assume you could get 551,726 people credit cards. Unlimited ones? maybe not. But look me in the eyes and tell me if Sam Manson was told 'We can fix the public infrastructure that's damaging the environment and cause serious damage to predatory lending companies' She would not use her families wealth to be backing people as some kind of collateral/co-signer to get OBSCENLEY high credit cards SO FAST. That's to say nothing of if Tucker and the Other Nerds decide it's actually completely fine for them to hack into these companies and auto approve all these credit cards. Like the towns in dire straights so why not? It's unfortunately a pretty human tendency to see the people you care about in trouble and decide you're willing to throw literally anyone and everyone under the bus so I can see him/them doing it.

So. 551,726 people, with theoretically unlimited money to spend. CONSERVATIVELY if they racked up $500,000 USD on each card, the amount of money spent by Amity would end up being $275,863,000,000 or $275.8 BILLION Now the GDP of the USA is $25.44 Trillion, which looks like $25,440,000,000,000 so it's not a LOT in the grand scheme of things but it is just over 1%, I'm not going to pretend I know what that does economically to the entire USA but consider that Beer sales in the USA accounted for $106 billion in 2022, and that amity would potentially be generating nearly three times that. (X) I have just gone on a fucking TANGENT about the economy in this silly fun times thread of ours so I apologise I will try and sum up very quickly why I think they could spend so much so quickly. Philadelphia has a total of 37 hospitals. They built a new one sometime around 2021 to the tune of $1.6 billion (X) If Amity built a new hospital for liminality care and a few new ones Just Because They Realised They Can, say they build ten new hospitals, which is a VERY LARGE amount of new hospitals to build on workforce Alone, but they probably have tireless ghost workers who are probably obsessed with construction and regular living workers who want to be paid in the times before everyone had acclimated to the ghosts properly. Split among 551,726 people that's actually a fairly reasonable $28,999.90, which, hilariously, is actually just in and around the average limit to credit cards. So they wouldn't even need Sam or Tucker to mess with credit cards yet (X) Averages typically suck as a way of measuring stuff but this isn't a Real Life Government Project so I'm willing to call that acceptable. So if it's only $30k for ten hospitals why the hell am I citing a fat $500k each? Luxury Shit. A few luxury cars and some big name watches and you've blown through that $500k no problem. That's to say nothing of all the REST of the infrastructure that needs fixing - the roads, the schools, the libraries, the replacement materials for the transport system - hell building the APDC is going to probably be another billion dollar project if they want two portals large enough to get what is probably multilane traffic through in regards to transport. Sure the cars won't be useful for long maybe but that's just one example. Jewellery, coats - hell designer shoes and collector nonsense can go for STUPID amounts and as people who are desperate to outpace their neighbours in Cool Stuff They Own realise that their neighbours are capable of getting all the same crap they are? people are either going to stop caring or they're going to start buying some Really Obscure Shit. For the others who just wanted to buy pretty things? There's literally no reason to stop. Amity might have to limit the amount of crap people can get shipped in per week/impose serious shipping tariffs just to make sure the new FTL supply chain doesn't collapse because people are determined to get their new Cashmere and Mohair coats with Gold Embroidery or what the hell ever on next day delivery. Honestly in this scenario the cards over time thing probably doesn't matter because I'm pretty sure the Amity expenditure would DESTROY the lending company, which might then actually be the thing to get Amity rediscovered or maybe they space all these buildings out over time so they keep living the sweet life.

#dpxdc #danny phantom #collaborative worldbuilding #i cannot remember if i gave this au a name lmao

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thecarnivorousmuffinmeta · 8 months ago

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Hello! Been reading your twilight posts recentlt and was wondering what you think might have happened if James had killed Emmett in the ballet studio, particularly how it would have affected Rosalie/her dynamic with the Cullens?

Bella feels horribly guilty to learn that her stupid plan to save her mother (who had not been kidnapped) as well as the fact that she drew James's attention in the first place (which would not have happened had she not intruded in the Cullen's world where she feels she doesn't belong) got someone killed. Not just someone, either, but one of the Cullens, Edward's beloved brother, and Emmett who seemed so nice for all she didn't know him that well.

Bella is devastated and feels increadibly guilty and horrible.

This is made worse by Rosalie's (understandable if not ideal) reaction where I imagine she blames Bella to her face. This never would have happened if Bella had not been involved in their lives, not come to that baseball game, or if they hadn't saved her from that stupid van/killed her the night after like Rosalie wanted to. Rosalie feels as if she's traded Emmett for Bella and she hates that.

Edward of course blames Rosalie for having the worst reaction possible and actively driving Bella into a depression.

I imagine Rosalie leaves, Edward clearly isn't leaving Bella (as I imagine he'd want to hold on a little longer/this wouldn't be the New Moon wakeup call for him) and she wants time on her own to grieve/not get into fights with Edward over whose fault it is that Emmett died. No doubt Rosalie also blames the family somewhat as if they had sided with her and chosen not to protect Bella, Emmett would be alive. It's understandable why they wanted to protect Bella but it also was dangerous and risked someone dying for what. Rosalie needs some time to process alone.

Bella now feels she's driven Rosalie out of the family, this makes her guilt even worse.

I imagine Bella actively tries to avoid the Cullen household that summer (unlike canon) as being there reminds Bella of what happened/she believes it reminds the Cullens of what happened...

Honestly, I think Bella dumps Edward. She tries to hang on to him but as the weeks go by and his family is clearly falling apart, and it's all her fault, and he's sitting there being so sweet when she just effectively murdered his brother...

I don't think Bella could do it, it'd be too much and she'd double down on "Edward deserves better than me". Especially when she can justify that Edward can't read her thoughts, he's clearly too good to ever blame her when she deserves it, and she can say to herself "Edward doesn't realize how awful of a person I am."

So, Bella breaks up with him so that he can have someone better, his family can move, and they can heal. Edward is shocked and horrified but in the midst of his despair and depression remembers that this was what he wanted, he wanted to leave Bella eventually and her doing it versus him might be better. So, Edward leaves immediately and steals all her pictures/every gift he ever gave her.

Bella sinks into her New Moon depression immediately (made worse by Emmett's death and the fact that Bella did this herself and now is weak for wanting to take back her decision and oh god she's the worst person on the planet).

The Hallucination Edward times are even more fraught as Bella feels doubly guilty in that she shouldn't want to summon Edward and yet she can't live without him. I imagine this results in even riskier behavior as Bella genuinely thinks she should die and gets closer and closer to actively wanting it.

Bella probably succeeds in killing herself.

(The Jacob thing here... I don't know if he could help because the thing is Bella despises herself so much/feels so guilty and Jacob has no context for understanding this even if he becomes a wolf (added that Bella now is responsible for people dying because Victoria is actively hunting her) that I don't think Bella can use her friendship with him to claw her way out of depression.

He'd probably just make her feel worse given he shifted because of Victoria which is because of her and have we mentioned Emmett is dead?)

I imagine Alice does not tell Rosalie in part because Rosalie's not near her when it happens also because... well... bad history and Alice blames Rosalie for this mess.

This means no one tells Edward.

Edward's suicide is thus put off for as long as he feels he can live without Bella. When he breaks and goes to check on her, he discovers she's died and goes to Volterra to kill himself where no one is able to stop him from breaking the law.

#twilight #twilight meta #twilight headcanon #twilight renaissance #bella swan #edward cullen #rosalie hale #emmett cullen #meta #headcanon #opinion #gen-kenobi

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duckapus · 3 months ago

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Had the idea that Wario wasn't the first member of the Mario cast Ashley ever met.

Occasionally her parents drag her along to one of their business events instead of just leaving her home alone like usual, and one time when she was seven the particular event she got dragged to was a banquet hosted by Princess Peach. Between being a very small child at a very adult party that she really didn't want to be at, dealing with all these strangers that her parents were showing her off to even though they should know that she doesn't handle meeting new people or having her personal space invaded very well, and the fact that this was the longest she and Red had been apart since she first summoned him a few months ago and she had no idea how he was handling being stuck in that big spooky empty house alone, she was completely overwhelmed, and as soon as her parents' attention was off her she ran off to find somewhere quiet to freak out without making a scene.

Peach suddenly sensed a source of very powerful and somewhat unstable magic in a side hallway just outside the ballroom and went over to investigate, figuring it was a Magikoopa sent by Bowser or something and that she could either deal with them or at least make it so her latest kidnapping didn't involve too much collateral damage.

Instead she finds a little girl with big black-and-white pigtails and even stronger magic than she had at that age who looks about ten seconds away from a full-blown panic attack.

She managed to calm Ashley down by walking her through a power-regulation spell that doubled as a breathing exercise and the two of them just sat there for a few minutes until Ashley felt okay enough to go back in. Peach reunited her with her parents (and noticed a few things about their dynamic that were a bit concerning given the context of where and how she'd found Ashley in the first place, but not substantial enough for her to investigate further without it being seen as an abuse of power) and that was that. Neither of them figured they'd really run into each other again.

Imagine their surprise when a few years later they suddenly have a mutual friend in Wario.

#warioware #super mario #headcanon #ashley warioware #princess peach #the thing with ashley's hair being described as both black and white is that when she's stressed enough her powers go a little out of ->#->control and she goes into her full-power state more gradually than when she accesses it in purpose #so the color change happens gradually too. when it first starts it looks like the tibs of her pigtails got dipped in white paint #by the time peach found her the white part was almost up to where the tails are thickest and start curving

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autisticandroids · 1 day ago

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I would like a director's commentary on your bleak Harper/Jack fic, thank you. Since it still makes me sad.

<3 fuck yeah. i'm so ready to do this commentary it's gonna take days...

anyway the thing that motivated me to do this in the first place is like. okay. list of reasons.

one is that i kind of wanted to write a fic about jack that both took him seriously and also was not *entirely* just about his relationship with his parents. like jack having something outside of that.

another is that i find harper kind of enticing, as a character? like, there's a lot of meat on her for a one episode villain. the fact that she's never left her home town, "a long line of necromancers," the fact that she killed her boyfriend to keep him!, her seemingly genuine interest in jack, the melodramatic way that the actress played her, the letter.... there's a lot there. and it's crazy to me that there were only two jackharper fics on ao3. also it drives me up the wall that they never brought her back in the show, like, come on.

like actually my first thoughts about jackharper were situated in this longrunning deancas (with jack as their kid) human au that exists mainly in dms between me, @an-android-in-a-tutu, and @pregstiel, which i don't need to get into right now but suffice to say that the sort of final form of dean and cas' relationship in that au is not abusive but it isn't exactly healthy, and dean (being dean) is a pretty domineering and smothering presence in cas' life and also jack's. and jack is like. he's autistic and is fairly disabled by it? he can basically hold a job but can't really care for himself physically (eating meals, keeping his apartment livable, etc.) or really deal with other people at all? so dean is quite involved in, as dean sees it, still parenting him well into his twenties. and is obviously rather domineering and smothering. possibly helping more than jack actually *needs* as such and etc. and perhaps being a bit invasive about it. classic dean. anyway this was all context for jack getting into a relationship with harper and dean just. hating her. because dean just cannot imagine a girl getting with his baby boy for honest reasons. because he just simply needs so much care. she must be after money or something. and all of this dislike of harper is obscuring to dean the actual problem, which is that harper is stalkerishly obsessed with jack and the main reason the relationship is continuing is that harper is kind of domineering in a way that reflects both cas and dean's relationship and dean and jack's relationship, jack isn't really making the choices, he's letting them be made for him because that's what he's used to. but because dean is terminally incapable of self-awareness he does not see that at all. and this was really fun to think about and it kind of got me invested in jackharper, conceptually. though now that i'm saying all this: man it would be really fun and wretched to make a little extra bit of this fic but dean pov.

and then another reason i wanted to write this fic is like. i really enjoy torturing other characters (generally sam and jack) with established destiel. usually in my mind it's sam? like i can honestly provide a preeeeeetty long history of my thoughts on this topic. lol. but you know i get a lot out of like. imagining sam finding out that dean is gay in season fifteen and just having to sit with that. like what if your brother who sucks turned out to have been in the closet his whole life. like he still sucks but now you know this depressing thing about him. and also you can never bring it up to him or tell anyone else. lol. anyway this kind of "man it would suck to be in the blast radius of deancas" impulse is what led to this concept, which is basically what i built the fic around? as i've said, this element was kind of the most fun part for me.

then also like..... as i've said, optimism is one of my top episodes of spn ever just by enjoyability of watch. i like it a lot. and also each time i see it i allow a single tear to roll down my face morning the charmingly "plucky young protagonist"-ish version of jack we could have had. it's so perfectly put together that it manages to avoid being grating despite the like. everything. and a lot of that is the interplay of cheery and dark elements. but also jack is like. way less annoying than that archetype normally is. he's so charming in optimism. anyway i just kind of. wanted to try integrating optimism more into canon. is another reason.

and then over the summer i wrote this fic, which is maybe my fave thing i produced this year, and i wanted to see if i could sustain that high note for a longer period.

okay. without further ado.

Every Relationship Has Its Stuff

Pepperidge Farm. Oroweat. Sara Lee. Wonderbread. Brownberry. King’s Hawaiian. Dean had just specified “sliced bread.” Jack is pretty sure Dean likes Sara Lee butter bread, but its slot on the shelf is empty. He knows Sam likes Brownberry. Jack likes it, too. It’s sweet and molasses-y. He likes it with the tunafish salad Sam sometimes makes for lunch, when Dean is having a nap.

starting out strong with: hey i like brownberry tuna sandwiches. but also you know. the anxiety of being sent out to get an item and it being out and not being sure if you'll even be believed that it was gone etc.

The bright white lights of the Walmart beat into his eyes. There’s pop music on the speakers, lyrics indistinguishable from instrumentation in a swirling cacophony of synthy noise. Jack thinks he can maybe hear the word married ? And amazing . There’s footsteps behind him, along with the shh of clothing, and chatter in the next aisle - something about the merits of Pop Tarts vs. Toaster Struedel. A cart’s wheel squeaks.

so i actually checked what songs were charting in january uh. 2018? 2019? one of those. anyway. i thought thank u next was a funny choice which would bring an appropriately rancid energy to this opening. anyway. i had fun setting this in a walmart because i wanted to situate this fic in a depressing, fluorescent, branded world. something that actually feels like a midwestern middle of nowhere, as opposed to the bright and cheery fantastical small towns of yockeynatural. it's also inspired somewhat by @davidfosterwallaceandgromit's trapdoor, the way in that fic as the characters become less a part of tv world, the real, unpleasant details of life like ads on the screens at gas stations start becoming real to them.

Jack reaches for the Brownberry. The butter bread is out. This is what they have. And he and Sam like it. His fingers sink into the pillowy bread and-

a little rebellion that isn't even really a rebellion but it has to be framed that way to not be scary, you know? like that gives jack a bit of control over his fear.

All of his muscles lock. It’s instinctual. It’s instinctual because of the pain. The pain and the tearing sensation. The faint ringing in his ears. The tearing sensation in his- chest. The tug on his Grace as it- as it keeps him alive.

His vision is dark, too dark to see. There is a dribbling feeling. Hot and runny. Like post-nasal drip except. Except on his back. Because one of the major arteries in his heart has been punctured. The strange balloon sensation as his Grace refills his circulatory system, only for blood to keep flowing out. His arteries rippling and clenching.

one of the reasons i didn't want jack to be relying on soul magic here is that i wanted this scene to work without really having tension strung over it. i wanted his grace to protect him without us having to worry about him chewing up his soul to do it.

It shifts inside him, slightly. Whatever it is. He can feel flesh parting, and a little more blood bubbles forth from his arteries. It’s shaking. Trembling. An involuntary shudder wracks Jack’s body, and the hole in him tears a little wider.

He knows this feeling. He’s been stabbed.

It’s never happened from the back before.

He needs- hm. He needs to retake control of his muscles. It’s a jerky operation, he’s in shock. He has to bypass human neural impulses and do it with his Grace, because the nerves aren’t really firing right now. Contract the tricep - no, wrong one. Contract the deltoid to raise the arm, then the bicep, rotate the elbow, close the hand… got it.

Jack pulls the knife from his chest.

in a lot of ways this fic is what i did instead of stabfest this year. both literally in the sense that this fic is basically why i didn't do stabfest, but also figuratively because i am definitely drawing on the history of deancas horny stabbing that stabfest also draws upon.

It’s a strange sensation. More ripping flesh, combined with strange emptiness. Movement deep inside. Feeling where there should be no feeling. A surge of pain as the blade is taken away and clots that had futilely begun to form around it tear. Jack shudders again, and he coughs, an involuntary spasm. He feels the wetness on his mouth before registering the taste. He’s drooling blood, his lower lip tingles with it, with the stickiness. He can feel it dripping from the corner of his mouth. Beading and drying on his chin.

the image of blood from the mouth is one i liked. also this is intentionally horny. hopefully it came through :3

Flesh knits behind the retreating point of the knife. Soon Jack is good as new, save for the blood on his shirt.

His muscles begin to work again. His eyes and ears come back online. Just in time for a soft little gasp from behind him.

Jack spins, appreciating his newfound control of his body. The proprioception and delicate balancing required to complete the movement.

He finds himself up against a familiar face.

Big buggy gray eyes, even more bulging than usual in a pixie face. Pointy nose jutting out far enough to nearly touch his own. Lips with a touch of artificial color parted to show large (but human) teeth. He can feel her breathe, feathers of air on his bloodstained mouth.

“Harper?” Jack asks, for lack of a better thing to say.

“Oh, crap.” Her face contorts into an anxious pout, and in a moment she’s stepping back, reaching into the pocket of her hot pink blazer.

Throwing a hexbag on the ground.

i was thinking about how being a necromancer is like. surely that is a type of witch. if harper is going to have tricks up her sleeve they'll be magic

A puff of purple smoke erupts from the bag and envelops her, filling his vision. He can still hear her feet slapping against the tile as she runs. All he can think is hey, you forgot your knife, but she’s gone.

As the smoke clears, Jack licks his lips. They’re salty. Tacky. He scrubs his mouth against his sleeve, trying to get the blood off. Most of it is on his back, and Jack is suddenly glad that he took his jacket off when he got into the store. He’s pretty sure all the blood ended up on the back of his shirt. There’s probably a little on his butt, but the jacket is long enough to cover that. Probably.

i also enjoyed the sort of menstrual imagery here. jack is coming of age in blood, and there's bloody evidence of it. harper stabbing him woke something up in him.

He’s gonna have to turn all his clothes over to Dean when he gets home. Dean has a special method for getting bloodstains out of laundry, something with salt, and maybe dilute bleach. Jack likes these jeans. He hopes he won’t have to throw them away.

He grabs the bread, and marches to the next aisle.

When Jack comes in with the bags, Sam’s in the map room. He helps Jack unload. Ribs and tomatoes into the fridge, ice cream bars in the freezer, bulk peppercorns into the cabinet, bread on the counter. Sam gives a worried grimace when he sees the Brownberry.

sam knows there is hell to pay when small things go wrong

“Sorry,” Jack says. “They didn’t have any butter bread.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” Sam says, “I’m sure it’ll be fine.” Sam smiles at him for a moment. “Why don’t you toss me the car keys, and I can head out and get some at the gas station before everyone gets home.”

sam doesn't want jack's mistake to get him punished or start a big fight, so he's quietly sweeping up. perhaps more than he needs to. sam's obsequiousness and nervousness around dean adds to dean's presence as a larger than life fear figure for jack, ya know

Jack tosses him the keys. Sam wrinkles his nose.

“Man, it smells like blood in here for some reason.” Sam glances around. Jack suddenly remembers the gore under his jacket, but somehow, he can’t quite bring himself to let anyone know about seeing Harper.

“Somebody must have forgotten to clean their machete or something,” Jack says, and Sam nods.

the casual omnipresence of violence <3 <3 <3.

A few minutes later, after he’s heard the car engine start, Jack hides the knife and his bloody jeans under his bed, and tosses the torn shirt in the trash.

continuing the menstrual image. jack is hiding it. he doesn't want his parental figures to know he's changing, that he is beginning to really... exist outside their control, i guess.

When Jack sees Harper again, they’re all on a ghost hunt outside Peoria. Sam and Dean are looking into the burial location of a woman who died mysteriously in 1875. Cas is waiting at the cemetery.

peoria is a great super depressing midwest name for a town. just fabulous.

The last time Jack had put on his FBI threads and tagged along as a “junior agent,” Dean had had to shut him up twice with a vicious pinch to the upper arm. He is on a burger run.

once again jack's small freedoms are taken only when assigned menial tasks. like this is his time to be away from them. but also he is assigned these tasks because he's the lowest status member of the group, you know? they don't trust him with more serious stuff. so it's bittersweet.

He’d spotted a nice space between two bushes as they drove past this Wendy’s, and that’s where he lands, comfortably out of sight of any human. He rehearses in his head. This time he won’t forget that Dean likes the double, not the triple. And he will get a seltzer for Cas, even though he didn’t ask, because Cas likes the bubbles. He marches towards the doors, intentionally ignoring the parking lot’s car exhaust-and-piss smell, and the Frogger-feeling of being in a space where pedestrians are technically allowed but generally unwanted. The noise of the adjacent highway rumbles in his ears. Loud enough that he doesn’t hear footsteps, and when he smells something sweet, at first he’s relieved. Then nothingness.

i dithered so much over whether jack knows what frogger is. but it's such an evocative reference to give that particular feeling of walking somewhere which is built for cars. anyway. chloroform smells sweet, apparently, and i thought since harper knows jack can't really be harmed, she would go for the classics. she's very fictionpilled.

Jack wakes to an itch. It’s not exactly on his skin. More… under it. Like his subcutaneous fat is somehow inflamed. Or his muscles, maybe. Something deeper.

His hands are cuffed. That snaps his eyes open, and he sees the source of the itch. A brilliant sun of orange-red lines stretching out from the chair that he’s bound to to the edge of a twenty foot diameter circle on a concrete floor. A binding sigil. One he doesn’t recognize.

And at the edge of the circle, there she is.

once again, harper's magic expertise.

The light where they are - Jack glances around at the gray concrete and piled boxes and guesses “warehouse” - is dim enough that he can’t really see her face, at least at this distance. But he can see her shape, petite, hands clasped, wispy curled hair floating to her shoulders, and he can make assumptions.

“Sorry,” she calls, and yeah, it’s definitely Harper. The word comes out sawry, very Nebraskan. “I don’t really know what you are, so I figured better safe.” She sucks air in through her teeth, and Jack can just make out the shape of an embarrassed grimace.

harper doesn't really know much about the supernatural beyond magic. i always find it dumb when characters on spn refer to "a hunter" as if that's a single, coherent type of guy, so i've decided that when harper referred to jack as a hunter, she thought he was some sort of witch hunter, which is a problem it makes sense for her family to have dealt with in the past.

“I-” Jack starts, but his voice gives out before he can continue, his throat dry as gravel. He tries to fill his mouth with spit, tries to swallow, but no dice. He sends a tendril of power into the sigil, and it flashes blood red. He could probably break out, but not without vaporizing several city blocks.

and he kind of, sort of chooses to stay here. because he's maybe a little bit intrigued.

“Oh, sweetie,” Harper says, and she hurries towards him with stiff shoulders and bouncing little steps, delicately avoiding the lines of the sigil.

harper is not really totally prepared for this.

Now he can see her face. She bends at the waist, head swinging down like it’s on a hinge so the tips of their noses are on a level. And she cups his face with her hand.

It’s warm. Her fingers are slim, spidering out across his cheek. Her pointer is nearly at the edge of his eye, and the tip of her pinky is tucked under his jaw. Her skin is soft against his.

face touch <3

She presses plastic - a water bottle - to his lips.

It’s just water, he can tell that much. It tastes like plain tap water, cold and quenching, and he gulps it down. The plastic crinkles as she squeezes it. She strokes her thumb over his cheekbone. Maybe the water’s cursed? Hopefully not, because he’s so thirsty. She tips the bottle, and it floods his mouth. He almost gags, but manages to breathe through his nose and slow his swallows.

horny,

“Are you okay?” Her face is close again. She took the empty bottle away, he heard the crinkling plastic, and now he’s seeing her eyes. They’re very big. Her hand is warm on his cheek. Jack tilts his head to feel the blood move around inside.

“Where am I?” His throat is thick with disuse. It’s as good a starter as any. Probably the most useful information he can find out, right now. Her eyes are very big.

distracted <3

“Oh, this is a shipping warehouse for a pastry company. I thought it would smell nicer.” She pouts a little.

harper is just not prepared for this at all. jack could definitely do a better job kidnapping someone due to his hunting experience.

“Yes,” Jack says, he can feel her hand, it’s slipped lower and his voice vibrates against it, “warehouses all just kind of smell the same.” His breathing hitches a little. “Or bad.” One time, Dean had him and Cas stake out outside a meat packing plant. He grimaces at the memory.

see what i mean? warehouses are practically jack's stomping ground because literally most of his life experience is hunting related.

“Ugh, unfortunate,” Harper says, and rolls her eyes, flicking them up dramatically, and Jack strains his own trying to follow them, she’s so close, “I guess you can’t win ‘em all. So, did you ever get my letter?”

“What?” Her lips are slightly glossy. He can feel the movement of his own breath.

“My letter. I sent it to Lebanon.” She stands to put her hands on her hips, and Jack feels the loss of warmth against his cheek.

“No, I mean- no. Sorry,” he says. Grasps for what she might want. “That’s sweet though. That you sent it.”

the placaterrrrrrr

He’s right. She lights up.

“Thanks! I think letter writing is underappreciated these days, especially for love notes. I’m glad you’re someone who understands that.”

“Yeah,” Jack says, “Dean says old formats are always better. Like tapes, or vinyl. I think that includes letters.”

🥴 well

Harper nods.

“I like a lot of old fashioned things. Like dating! Nobody our age ever wants to go on a date anymore. They all just wanna use ‘apps’” - she makes the quote marks with her fingers - “to ‘hang out.’ It’s terrible. Do you like dating, Jack?”

“I’ve-” never gone on a date, he starts to say, but changes course when he remembers where he is, “I- yes! I like… going on dates.”

the placaterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. and he's not even necessarily doing it right.

A shadow passes across her face, just for a moment, but then she’s overjoyed, clapping her hands together.

harper jealousy moment <3

The date looks like a card table that Harper hauls out of somewhere in the warehouse and struggles to unfold, and a styrofoam box of mostly cold shrimp scampi. By the time everything is set up, with a folding chair for her and a candle in the middle of the table, she’s red faced and puffing.

There are plates for the scampi, baby blue with a flower motif, and the pasta slops out of wet styrofoam haphazardly. It’s still warm enough not to be a gelatinous glob, but the fettuccine is tangled. Harper pulls out a cigarette lighter and burns her thumb lighting the candle. She sticks it in her mouth. Jack can see her tongue working, lapping at her injured cuticle. When the digit emerges it’s slick and wet. He can feel the air through his own slightly parted lips.

horny,,

Finally, Harper leans down and looks him in the eye.

“Be a good boy, okay?” she says. Her mouth is still a little shiny with spit. Jack nods.

like the thing is jack doesn't really even... perceive the problem with what harper has done to him. like most of his interactions with the outside world have involved a lot of torture, murder, and imprisonment, because it's all involved hunting. and he is, well, enjoying the fact that a cute, age appropriate girl is paying attention to him and touching his face and pouring water down his throat.

She closes her eyes and touches the cuffs. They unlock. She flashes him an awkward grin as she slips into her chair. The silence lingers for a little too long before she says “come on, try the pasta.”

Jack stretches his hands. He feels Grace begin to flow, warming them and smoothing out the ache of being held in one position for so long. Three of his knuckles crack of their own accord.

He picks up the fork and does as he’s told.

“I like it,” he says. The pasta glops in his mouth. It’s a little hard to swallow.

one of my themes here is that jack doesn't necessarily know what he likes. almost every time he says "i like [thing]" in this fic he's doing it to please someone else. he's kind of learning his own preferences over the course of the fic, but he hasn't had an opportunity to before. he's been too busy, well, placating. i mean his preferences have to be negotiated! going back to the first scene, even buying the brand of bread he likes can be a transgression.

“And I like you,” Harper says, beaming.

Later, when he reappears in the motel room, sans burgers, he finds Sam pacing, and Dean nursing a sullen beer on his and Cas’ bed.

“Where were you?” Sam says, as Jack eyes Dean. “Cas is out looking for you.”

“I was…” he trails off, and then decides on the truth, or most of it. “I was with a girl.”

jack still wants to keep harper to himself.

“A girl?” Dean says, and he doesn’t sound angry, he sounds… surprised.

gay dean winchester voice i thought you were a little homo like your dad, gay castiel.

“Like, a date.” Jack says. And Dean… laughs?

“Hey, that’s my boy,” Dean says, and he stands just to clap Jack on the shoulder. “Just come see me before the third date, alright?” Sam steps back, still looking concerned, but Dean is glowing. He ruffles Jack’s hair, and Jack feels himself smile. Dean is pleased. It feels… warm. Exciting.

gay dean winchester giving jack a good grade in being straight <3 and the thing is. jack does crave dean's approval. is the thing. like it's thrilling. dean is so mercurial that when the sun shines, it shines. jack isn't interested in approval from sam, or even really cas, because he's fairly confident in that. he craves approval from dean. this is like. unfortunately, one of the more genuine pleasures that jack actually likes.

On the drive home, Cas holds his hand the whole time.

one of my theses for the fic is that cas' main way of conveying affection to jack is touch, not speech. he's not exactly an accomplished communicator and cas, classically, is Not Thinking about stuff mostly. also, cas is worried here that he's losing his baby....... anxious angel.......

Dean is always first to jump in the shower when they all get home. He says that he’s too spoiled for motel room showers, these days, what with the bunker’s water pressure. He’s already sitting at the map table, wet hair combed back, by the time Jack has plugged his phone in and wandered back out to the kitchen for a snack.

neuroticism boy <3

“Hey, Jack,” he says. Jack stops, cereal box in hand. “Good job with the ghost back there. Even if you were gone for a couple hours in the middle.”

“Thanks, Dean,” Jack says, uncertain.

“Now that you’re getting a taste for the outside world,” Dean raises his eyebrows meaningfully, “it’s time we started taking you on some real hunts again. Let you get your hands dirty. This is a family business, after all.”

it sure fucking is.

“Yes. Yes, I’d like that.”

jack saying he likes stuff again <3

“Good kid.”

approval seeking missile.

A few days later, Jack finds himself dialing the number Harper put in his phone.

“So there’s this coffee shop in Lebanon…”

“...And then she wakes up to this mysterious monster stroking her face, because he was watching her sleep. Obviously.” Harper’s eyes are closed. She slowly twirls the stir stick in her caramel mocha.

“And she’s okay with that? When he just kidnapped her?” Jack leans forward. That’s what humans do, to show interest.

“Of course!” Harper says. “It’s romantic.”

“Makes sense,” Jack says, nodding. Romantic . Intriguing. He makes a mental note.

She regales him with the rest of the plot of Phantom of the Opera, and that’s easy. That, he’s ready for. But on the internet, it said you were supposed to talk about your interests on dates. So he had tried to prepare. He likes Star Wars . He likes Riverdale , although he’s only seen the first two seasons. He likes… phone games? He’s beaten all of Bouncy Hills , is that an interest? He likes… hunting?

i needed a romance where the love interest watches the mc sleep, and by happenstance i had literally just seen a performance of phantom while i was writing. it was originally a non-existent book, but i was so careful to be specific and real with all the other brands and pop-culture references and stuff, so i was happy phantom dropped into my lap at the last minute. oh and i chose not to use twilight bc that's too generic. anyway. we also have jack here really not knowing what he likes and wants. he doesn't really have interests outside of the family business, you know? he's an extension of his parents, he's not his own person. but he wants to be.

“So, what do you do all day,” Harper asks, and Jack says:

“Well, Sam and Dean have been teaching me to shoot.”

“They are? How come?” Harper’s eyes grow impossibly wider. They’re like wet marbles. Jack breathes in through his nose, and he can smell her strawberry lipgloss.

“Well, Sam says in case I lose my powers, I should know how to hunt the old fashioned way. And Dean says,” he pauses to pull his tongue back and take a breath so he can get the impression right, “‘ there are certain things a young man needs to know .’ So I’ve been learning.”

god dean is so funny

She giggles.

“So you’re like my very own Robinhood? Could you shoot an apple off my head?”

“No.” Jack shakes his head. His stomach twists as the image of Harper’s head bursting like a watermelon occurs to him. But everything is fine. He’s seen headshots before. Everything is fine. “I’m not very good,” he says, feeling vaguely apologetic. Harper frowns.

i love how harper is ALSO incapable of seeing red flags. what if you were BOTH raised in different serial killer cults and only knew how to live your lives from books and movies.

“Aww,” she says. “Can I at least see your gun sometime?” Her hand brushes against him. Lands on his thigh. Jack feels a little hitch in his chest.

“Yeah, sure,” he says, after a long beat. He’s been using Sam’s for practice. But he can probably borrow one from Dean’s collection. “And besides,” he adds, “Dean says only chumps shoot for the head. A decent gunman will aim for the heart, every time.”

symbolism, whatever. also, when he borrows dean's gun to look cool <3

Dean and Sam are always talking about how much they love IHOP pancakes, but Jack likes Dean’s pancakes the best. Dean always makes them with chocolate chips, and cooks frozen strawberries into a syrup. Jack likes the butter they have at home better, too, the unsalted kind. The salted kind stresses him out, it’s too much.

jack once again sharing my food tastes, fuck salted butter. anyway. when it's domestic (evil).

Jack has a bite halfway to his mouth, slathered in strawberry syrup with a fresh (though still slightly green) banana, when Dean turns to him from the head of the table.

the banana will return.

“So, Jack,” Dean says, and Jack freezes, fork in the air.

He meets Dean’s eyes and waits. Sam and Cas are still, as well.

“You went out. On your own.”

Jack swallows.

“Yeah, um. I’m… seeing someone.”

“Seeing someone? Like, a girl?”

“Yes.” Syrup drips onto Jack’s plate.

“Is it serious?”

“I… I don’t know,” Jack finds himself saying. He and Harper have been on two dates. What does that mean? “I like her.”

now this is more questionable. does he like her? he's certainly attracted to her. but is he dating her because he likes her or because he's a placation machine. like honestly this fic is kind of about the interplay of genuine pleasure and placation/approval seeking.

Dean mhm s.

menacing...

Jack needs to figure out where else he can take Harper on a date. But the problem is he’s… never really been anywhere? Motels all over the country, sure, and police stations, but for a date? He’s been to the Walmart, and to the Starbucks just outside Lebanon. He’s been to the closest bar to pick up Dean, once? He’s been in the Impala. But he’s never really been out in the world. Not the way normal people are, every day. He doesn’t even live in a house. Hasn’t ever really been in one for longer than a few minutes. The fluorescent light above his head flickers.

please hold my hand and imagine with me jack picking up dean from a bar. bad <3

Jack is watching Clone Wars in the Dean Cave when Cas comes in and sits next to him on the couch. Jack takes his headphones off. The leather creaks. Cas is a solid, warm presence, and Jack leans into him.

headphones will return.

“What are you watching?” Cas asks.

“ The Rise of Clovis . I’m rewatching season six.” Jack shuts the laptop entirely.

had to interview my clonewarspilled friend @butchcastiel for this line. this is an episode where anakin beats a guy padme is fake-dating to a bloody pulp...

“Oh. I liked that one.” Cas strokes a hand through Jack’s hair. “I was thinking, Jack,” he says.

...which is why cas likes it <3

“About what?”

“I thought we could go on a little vacation together. A fishing trip. Dean says that that’s something fathers and sons do, away from the rest of the family.” Cas squeezes his arm.

yet the right hand knows not what the left hand is doing. an escape attempt, even if cas isn't thinking of it that way.

“Yeah, of course,” Jack says. He would like to spend time with Cas. Away from. From everything.

jack is though. maybe. in the back of his mind.

Sam and Dean are talking in the map room. Jack can’t hear what about, but he hears the table rattle. Someone had slammed their fist on it. He puts his headphones on. She can kill with a smile, she can wound with her eyes…

i thought this was a funny song choice.

There’s a soft knock on Jack’s doorframe. The door is open, but Sam is always careful to announce himself.

Jack looks up from his phone. He’d been playing Royal Match, nothing too interesting.

once again trying to stick to brands.

“Hey, Jack,” Sam says, a little apologetic. Sam is nearly always apologetic.

“Hi, Sam.” Jack waits. Sam will spit it out, eventually.

“I just wanted to,” Sam ducks his head a little as he enters the room, as always, even though he isn’t actually quite tall enough for his head to hit the doorframe, “you know, talk.”

“I like talking to you,” Jack says.

this. is also maybe not true <3

“Yeah.” Sam’s mouth twitches. “I thought since, you know, you’re dating and all that, we could have a kind of, you know, chat. About dating.” It only takes Sam three steps to reach the bed, and he sits next to Jack. Jack locks his phone.

The silence is a little uncomfortable. Sam is making a face. There is some kind of importance that Sam and Dean are putting on all this that Jack does not really understand, but he wishes they would get over it. He doesn’t want to say that, though.

“It- it can be nice. You know,” Sam starts, “meeting new people. Getting, um, involved. You know, butterflies, and all that.”

“Butterflies?”

“Figure of speech.” Sam huffs a laugh. “I mean getting, you know, infatuated. When you really like someone and they make you nervous and excited at the same time.”

That seems right. Jack scoots a bit to turn more towards Sam.

jack is maybe not interpreting "nervous" in the way sam means it. in fact sam may actually be reinforcing some bad stuff for jack like "it's normal to be afraid of people you are close to" <3

“And I just wanted to say… that’s okay. If you want to, you know, put yourself out there. Experience new things. Get away from the family for a bit.” Sam smiles, but it’s more like a kind of grimace. “I just wanted to say that you should… be careful. Sometimes a girl can, um, she can change you. Not always in ways that you like. So uh, keep an eye on that.”

ruby mentionnnnnn. anyway if i was ready to add maybe 5k more words to this fic it would have had a whole samwena subplot where sam neurotically freaks out about his own fetish for evil women. also hilariously. jack is in fact kind of replicating one of sam's patterns in this fic. but maybe not exactly this one <

Jack is a bit lost, but Sam is still grimacing at him, so he nods.

“I will. Don’t worry.”

Sam looks relieved.

“Great. You’re a great kid, Jack.”

Harper has started texting Jack “good morning” every morning. With a little heart.

Usually, they come in around eight. He anticipates them each day. They make his heart pick up speed. Jack doesn’t sleep much, now that his Grace is back, so responding ends up marking time for him in a way the lightless bunker can’t. It’s nice, a little deadline. He has to respond, or she’ll get mad. Like clockwork.

jack loves to be afraid in his relationships it's so familiar.

Morning, he sends. For an emoji, this morning, he picks the heart eyes face.

Dean is in the kitchen. Outside in the hallway, Jack can hear him. He’s putting the dishes away, judging from the clatter. Probably in a good mood, then. Jack can come in.

All of the stock pots are on the kitchen counters. Dean is stacking them by size to fit them in the upper cabinet where they go.

“Dean?” Jack says.

“Yeah?” Dean answers, still fiddling with the pots. It’s almost more of a yup, actually. Like yeeauhp.

i put so much effort into the deanisms in this fic.

“You said to come talk to you. Before the third date.” Jack waits. Dean puts his pots down. Turns around.

god dean is so sitcompilled

He takes a breath, holds it for a moment, and lets it out in a sigh, eyes closed. Jack steps back, ready to leave Dean alone, but when Dean opens his eyes again, he frowns at Jack’s movement.

“C’mere, kid.” Jack steps forward again, close enough that Dean puts a hand on his arm, draws him in until they’re side by side leaning against the counter. “Do you know what a condom is?”

Jack has never heard the word. He feels the slight pinch of a definition slotting into place in his mind, a latex sheath worn on the penis during sex to prevent pregnancy and disease. The image presented is of a little blue ring in a square packet.

He nods.

“Okay, great,” Dean says. “I’m gonna go get one in a minute. Show you how to put it on. But I want to impress upon you that latex is your best friend.”

Jack nods again.

“The first rule,” Dean points a finger at him, “is that if a chick says she’s on birth control, no she isn’t. That’s your responsibility. You don’t want twenty years of child support, and we don’t want some kind of double nephilim running around. Plus, I’m pretty sure you’re too magic for the clap, but let’s not risk it.” Jack is staring at the refrigerator, listening to Dean’s words. He’s not sure what the clap is. “You still with me, kid?”

DEAN MISOGYNY MOMENTTTTTTTTTT also dean being like you shouldn't breed because you're genetically evil moment

“Yes,” Jack nods aggressively. He turns to look Dean in the eye.

“Good.” Dean pats his arm. “The second rule is, make sure everyone’s having fun, capisce? If you want her to come back, it’s not just do what feels right or whatever hippie crap they probably teach in schools these days. Girls are like cars, it’s mechanical. You have to understand how things work and put some elbow grease in, understand me?”

gay dean winchester: you think sex with women is supposed to make you feel good? bake you an apple pie, maybe? it's supposed to make you miserable that's why it's sex with women. i wanted dean to have some deranged misogynistic things to say, but i didn't want it to come off as rapey because that just like... isn't his derangement. that's how i came up with the "hippie crap" line. i wanted it to come off more "insanely regimented and rules-oriented" than "sleazy." also, carfucker <3

“I understand.” Jack blinks once.

“Okay, follow me.” Dean grabs a banana for some reason, then beckons as he marches out of the kitchen.

RETURN OF THE BANANA

Dean explains his system as they walk. “First of all, don’t go straight for the cooch. That, heh, makes you an asshole. Show her a good time, first. It’s called foreplay, and it’s important. You know, kiss her, touch her, all that stuff.” He gesticulates with the banana. “Depends on the girl, but some common places they like to be kissed, touched, licked, lightly pinched, or tickled are on the neck, collarbone, tops of the shoulders, just behind the ears, breasts (especially the nipples), sides, hips, bellybutton, small of the back, underside of the stomach, and inner thighs. Be gentle, no girl likes to feel pawed at unless she has some kinda serious daddy issues.” Dean glances at Jack. Jack follows him into his and Cas’ room.

i just love it when dean says heh. he's such a heh guy. also. no girl likes to feel pawed at unless she's got some serious daddy issues, likely thing for dean winchester to say <3. also, well. stay tuned for more info about jack's bedroom preferences.

“Once you’re cleared for landing, though, there’s a method. You don’t just stick it in.” Dean sits on his bed with a grunt, and starts rummaging in the bottom drawer of his end table. “Damn,” he says, as an aside, “I thought I was up shit creek.” He withdraws a cardboard box like a box of bandaids from the drawer and puts it on the bed, next to the banana.

“Okay. Well, you're gonna want to touch her, first. You can look up diagrams on the internet for help with what it's gonna look like, but find the clitoris. Get your fingers a little wet first. If she's wet, use that. Otherwise you can lick your fingers or use a condom-safe lube. Then stroke it, and press gently. You can stick your fingers in, too, but only if she's wet. If she doesn't get into it, then you can suck her clit, that never fails. If she's really into it, you can stick your tongue in, but don't start there, work up to it.” Dean looks at Jack for confirmation. Jack mhms . “You know, I tried to teach your dad all this stuff. Never got the sense he listened too closely. I suppose we know why, now.” Dean grins, looking off into the distance. There's a pause, and then he clears his throat.

gay dean winchester: i tried to teach your dad, my partner who i am sleeping with homosexually, how to have sex with women. but obviously we know he's gay now, because he's having sex with me. so it makes sense that he didn't listen to my unhinged "advice."

“Alrighty. During all this, you should try to stay, uh, ready, as they say, or she might get offended. That shouldn't be too hard at your age, but if it becomes a problem, you can utilize the three d’s - distract, distract, and distract. No girl is thinking about your dick while she's getting her pussy licked. And it's great cover if you need to jerk off a little or think about something else to get back at attention, if you know what I mean.” Jack doesn't, but agrees anyways.

gay dean winchester, after having just discussed how his same sex partner is gay, in their shared bedroom: obviously you won't always be able to get it up or keep it up, that's completely normal and you shouldn't be discouraged.

“So! This,” Dean reaches into the box and pulls out a packet, “is a condom.” He bares his teeth and tucks the foil between them, ripping it open. Sam is always telling Jack not to open things that way. The latex inside is red, and not blue. The banana has reappeared in Dean’s hand. It's bright yellow. perfectly ripe with one brown spot. Dean’s fingers sink in a little. “When you put it on, you pinch the tip,” he demonstrates, “and roll it down.” The latex makes the banana odd textured and shiny. Jack is aware that some condoms are lubricated , which is probably why this one is so slippery looking. “These ones,” Dean shakes the box, “are expired.” he pulls a face that Jack can’t really parse. “If you’d come to me a few years ago, you’d never have found me disappointing Tom Lehrer like that, but I guess I’m getting old. And it’s not so relevant, these days. But I can’t have you packing expired rubber, so tomorrow, you and I are gonna go to the drug store and we’re gonna pick up a box, how’s that sound?”

i spent so much time trying to figure out whether it was reasonable for dean to know who tom lehrer is..... ended up asking my dad......

“Sounds good,” Jack says.

“Good kid,” Dean says, and claps Jack on the shoulder. “My dad always said if you're not mature enough to look the cashier in the eye while you buy condoms, you're not mature enough to be using ‘em. Now, I’ve got one last thing for you. This,” Dean reaches across the bed again, twisting his body to get into the drawers, “is a key to your room.” He produces a big brass skeleton key, easily the length of one of his fingers. “Remember to lock up before you get up to anything, eh?”

hits you with the "my dad always said" beam. also big boys who fuck have finally earned the right to privacy for the first time ever.

Jack nods. Before he gets up to sex. Is what Dean means. Because that’s private.

“So, what do you say about coming back to the kitchen and helping me make dinner, before you get too grown up to lick the spoons?”

Sam is the only person home when Jack finally invites Harper over, and he’s promised to make himself scarce “unless you need anything.” Dean and Cas are out on a hunt together, for, according to Dean, “a little alone time.” But Dean has given his blessing for the date. He showed Jack where to find microwave popcorn, and how to melt chocolate to drizzle on top. He bought a box of pop just for the occasion, told Jack which beer he was allowed to steal, and even taught Jack how to mix a cocktail called an old fashioned. Apparently “ chicks hate straight whiskey .”

kansas is in the pop belt. so i feel justified in saying pop here. also dean is so happy that jack is getting a good grade in being straight and even happier that dean gets to micromanage it every step of the way <3 <3 <3

Harper knocks softly, but the acoustics of the main hall of the bunker are such that it echoes around the place. A kind of whispery thrum, by the time the sound is done bouncing.

When Jack opens up, she's wearing a red jacket. It’s so bright. He’s never seen anyone other than Rowena wear something so colorful. There’s a thread loose near the collar in a way Rowena would never tolerate, though.

man jack doesn't know any women and also everyone on supernatural dresses the same. lord. anyway the loose thread is because she's laundering shit instead of dry cleaning it because she's living in her carrrrrr

“Hi.” He waves at her.

“Hi.” She waves back.

Their footsteps echo as they skitter down the stairs, Jack first, then Harper.

“It’s so… spacious,” Harper says, her cheeks stretching out in a smile that Jack is pretty sure you could qualify as nervous.

“Yeah, you know, it’s Men of Letters.” He’s halfway through his answer when he remembers to look at her when he talks.

“What’s that?” She cocks her head. The greenish lighting of the bunker washes her out. It even sucks the color from her clothes.

“You know, I’m not sure. Sam and Dean are apparently legacies, whatever that means. And some of them are British? I think Ketch was one.” The wood of the main room gives way to the concrete of the hallway under his feet as he leads her to the Dean Cave.

“Ketch?”

“Yeah, he’s… he’s a guy we know, I guess.”

hey did you guys remember that jack apparently video calls with ketch. i do.

Once they’re in the La-Z-Boys, she puts on a show called Pushing Daisies , which Jack likes. The bright colors and narrator make it easy to follow. He likes the world the main characters live in. It seems nice.

like the thing about 14x06 optimism is that it's basically a whole episode reference to pushing daisies. which i find charming. even if i don't actually like pushing daisies that much.

“Isn’t it so cute?” she stage-whispers, as Ned and Chuck play outside in the garden.

“Yeah,” Jack says. He’s not sure what’s supposed to be cute about accidentally killing your mother, but he makes a note of it.

jack voice that's the thing i'm sensitive about..... also this is a special treat that will help us later.

“Hey, um,” Harper says, “I’m sorry I stabbed you,” while the funeral director dies on the toilet.

“Oh, um. Okay,” Jack says.

“You don’t think it means I don’t love you, do you?” she sucks air in through her teeth. “Vance thought it meant I didn’t love him.”

“No, no,” Jack says, “getting stabbed hurts a lot less than getting shot, and people who love me have shot me before.”

Harper nods, contemplative, as Ned and Chuck stare at each other in horror.

i liked how this made it feel like the tv characters were reacting to the insane things that are being said. also, harper's reaction to the thing jack just said:

Jack’s hand is resting on the arm of his chair, she brushes her fingertips against his. It takes him a moment to discern what she wants, but then their hands hang between the chairs, joined, as Ned and Chuck kiss through their plastic wrap.

the placaterrrrr

“She sounds very sweet,” Cas says. “Your father did that when we first met as well. Stabbed me, I mean.” His face has gone dreamy.

well. as i said. this fic is situated in the cultural history of deancas horny stabbing... anyway. when cas' baby boy grows up to share his tastes <3

Jack nods. Dean. He means Dean.

Jack knows how to use Google. “What do boys and girls do on dates” is an easy enough query. And he has more questions.

“Why do boys and girls like each other.”

“What do girls like.”

“What do boys like.”

“What do people in relationships do.”

“How to date.”

“What do roses mean.”

“Why are diamonds a girl’s best friend.”

“What’s marriage.”

“Why do people like sex.”

“How to have sex.”

They’re watching Lost Boys again, but Jack has figured out how to get away with looking at his phone. Harper has been texting him a lot lately.

part of this is like. well the lost boys thing is one more way in which jack is not master of his own destiny. he doesn't even get to pick the movies he watches, it's one more way in which he's not allowed to develop outside the family and it makes sense that it would annoy him. but also maybe the issue here is that he is perhaps, scared of failing to answer harper.

Bzzt. So you guys kill more than just witches?

Yeah, Jack types, we kill all sorts of things.

Bzzt. That’s so scary. My mom only ever told me about witch hunters. That's all I ever really needed to know back home.

There are a lot of monsters out there. Sam and Dean have killed a lot of different types.

Bzzt. Can I see one?

Jack blinks. The impulse to tell her that she has strikes him, but that would be weird. It would be a weird thing to say. She doesn’t know he’s a monster. Probably.

just a little reminder that jack is a person who was born into the leopards eating people's faces party, and that he's trying to recruit harper into it as well.

Sure. I’ll get them to take us along on a hunt sometime.

Sam catches him after breakfast. Hovering at his shoulder as he loads the dishwasher.

“I was wondering if you would be up for some shooting practice,” Sam says.

Jack can’t stop himself from rolling his eyes a little, but he nods.

sam is kind of jack's least favorite parent. he's close to cas, and is scared of/respects/seeks approval from dean, so sam is the odd man out, even though sam clearly does a lot of the material parenting work (teaching him things, helping him get out of trouble with dean, etc.)

He generally uses Sam’s gun at the range. It’s more comfortable in his hand than any of their spares, and Sam’s promised to get him a similar model once he’s ready to start out on hunts.

Jack hates the range. The noise-canceling earmuffs he has to wear give him a headache, and the kickback of the pistol jars the bones in his wrists. His aim sucks, and when he corrects it with his Grace, Sam makes him start over. “That's not the point.” Jack doesn't really understand what the point is.

jack putting on headphones to muffle noise is an image i stuck to in this fic. it was fun to play around with it.

Today they're doing 25 yards, at least, which is a lot easier. Jack starts out too low, but manages to walk his shots up until he's hitting nines, mostly. He still flinches at the shots, even with the earmuffs, but he's managing to keep it more subtle. Sam probably won't even notice. Hopefully.

yesssss flinchboy

One last crack, and that's actually a dead center hit.

Something touches his back, and he jumps. Whirls. The gun is still in his hand, safety off.

jack gets to point a gun at dean for a change >:3

“Whoa there, sharpshooter, a little tense?” Dean says. Jack sees the words more than hears them. Lowers the gun. Tugs off his earmuffs.

and dean just like. has no idea there's any tension in the household.

Dean’s hand. Dean’s hand patting him on the back. His heart is still racing a little, and he feels the corner of his mouth lift, against his will. Dean had been watching the whole time. Dean saw him hit the bullseye.

i tried to use the descriptor of jack's heart beating faster specifically when it's ambiguous whether he's excited or scared. anyway, approval seeking missile. jack doesn't even want to be that? like it's been clear so far that he is like. knowingly nervous of dean and unhappy living under him. but he also cannot help craving the approval.

His phone vibrates in his pocket. Harper’s good morning text.

another thing that it's ambiguous if jack is excited or scared about.

There aren’t any Aquariums in Lebanon, or in Smith Center. There aren’t really museums, exactly, either, at least not ones that aren’t basically run out of someone’s house. There aren’t roller rinks or even big malls. So Jack does his best to do as the internet says, and invites Harper to see a landmark instead: the Geographic Center of the Contiguous United States.

Well, he invites her, but she’s the one who picks him up in her yellow punchbuggy. It’s only about a half hour from the bunker, but she grips the steering wheel a bit alarmingly on the highway and grimaces.

everyone on this stupid show has a stupid ass fancy car. i thought a punchbuggy would be the logical choice for harper.

“I’m not, you know, really all that used to driving.” She gives a nervous giggle as the car she cut off the get to the exit lane beeps at her. “In McCook… I just- there were barely stoplights. We had a couple old guys there who went around on golf carts. Like in the road. I mostly just walked.”

Jack nods. He knows the feeling. He mostly just flies.

“I don’t drive either,” he tries, “I don’t get out much.”

“I like that in a man,” she grins, and turns her head, eyes firmly off the road. “It means you can’t cheat on me with some hussy. I don’t know what I’d do.” Her tone is trying for joke, but it isn’t quite working. She winks, but is also giving him somewhat of an intense stare.

He feels his cheeks heat, and his heart pick up.

ambiguous whether he's nervous or excited <3

The car hits the rumble strip, and Harper squeaks and turns back to the road.

The inside of the bug stinks of a rather pungent air freshener, and underneath that, something vaguely greasy. He wants to wrinkle his nose, but that might be bad. There’s a single fry in the cupholder. The back is crammed with junk: some cardboard boxes, a white trashbag full of clothes, and what looks like camping stuff. There’s a space cleared behind Harper’s seat, but it isn’t too big. Looks like just enough to put her seat back.

YEEEEEEAHHHHHH LIVIN IN HER CAR NOT COPING WITH REAL LIFE.

The Geographic Center of the Contiguous United States is mostly just a lump of rock. There’s a flag on top, obviously, but there isn’t much more to do once they’ve both climbed up and climbed down again. (The rock, not the flagpole, although Jack had considered trying to go up that, too. Just for a moment. Before he felt how slippery it was.)

“You know, it isn’t actually the geographic center,” Jack says. He’s supposed to make conversation.

“Really?” Harper says. The pitch is going up. She’s interested. He’s done well. “Then why…” she waves her hand at the flag.

“Apparently, the real center is on a farm up that way somewhere. Somebody owns it.” He points vaguely north. He’s quickly running low on Wikipedia facts he memorized for the date.

There’s a little hole in her red jacket. He taps her on the shoulder and puts a finger to it, but she flinches away. Now that he’s looking, the whole thing is looking a bit tattered. She grimaces.

the jacket deteriorates more.

“Sorry. It’s kind of hard to do dry-cleaning when you’re living in your car.” She looks away. “Everything is so hard out here. In McCook I knew where everything was and how everything worked. And everyone knew each other! And liked each other! And out here everything is gray and- and it's nothing but chain stores and corn fields and I don't know how any of it works! I got a parking ticket the other day, Jack! I don't even have a checkbook, how am I supposed to pay it? The outside world is so- so unromantic!”

definitely thinking of hero's journey here. except she got plucked out of yockeynatural which is even more fantastical and much more idyllic. anyway. as i said earlier i was also totally thinking of trapdoor. also, harper voice "romantic" <3

A single tear slips down her face.

“Oh.” He isn’t sure what to say to that, and her face is dark, so he just takes her hand instead. It seems to cheer her up a little, and Jack makes a mental note.

“I'm glad I have you, though,” she says, and squeezes his hand.

They end up wandering towards the US Center Chapel, a few yards off. The only building visible along the rather desolate highway edge.

Jack remembers something he read about the chapel.

“Harper, check this out,” he says, pointing to a wooden box near the entrance. “Look, you can write little notes.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet! I guess the outside world can be nice sometimes.” exclaims Harper, her mood abruptly turning, “We should write something.”

“Yes.” Jack considers what he’s read on the internet. “You can’t go wrong with a classic.” That’s what Dean would say. He tears a slip of paper from the pad next to the box. Writes out H + J and traps the letters in a little heart.

handjob lol

“Oh, Jack,” Harper says, brushes her hand against his cheek. Her fingers are so soft. Delicate. He draws in a sharp breath. Her eyes look a little teary. She hesitates a moment before putting the paper in the slot, but it slips in eventually.

FACE TOUCHING

She falls against him. She’s so little, her weight is barely an impact as he catches her and her head is under his chin, but she clutches around his ribcage and buries her face in his collarbone, and oh wow.

Cas is standing in the library when Jack walks in. His back is to the door, but Jack can feel his father watching him.

cas is the only person in this fic who jack refers to as his dad.

He goes to stand next to Cas. Cas reaches out, puts an arm around his shoulder. Jack leans against him.

“So, how are things with Harper?” Cas says it casually but there is a jolt of energy behind the words that he isn’t letting out on the human plane.

“They’re good. She likes me.”

Cas squeezes him a little tighter. He can feel Cas’ tendrils around him again. He couldn't, as a human.

when they hug in their trueforms... weh.......

“Dean told me that I should have a discussion with you about intimacy.” He’s looking at Jack now.

“Um,” Jack starts, “I think Dean uh, mostly covered it…”

“There are elements that we experience that I don’t think Dean will understand.” We. Oh. Of course. “I want to share…” Jack feels Cas’ consciousness begin to entwine with his and realizes what’s about to happen. He pulls back.

as @restlesshush put it: when cas is your dad and starts mindmelding with you and you've been burned before

“I don’t want to know what it’s like to have sex with Dean.” The words come out sharper than he intended, and Cas’ face falls. Jack can feel him wilting. “Sorry,” he adds, trying to save things.

ENMESHMENT LOSS :'( cas wants to share everything with jack and envelope him and become one person and etc. and he's HURT that jack doesn't want to know about sex with dean. jack's REJECTING him as a parent. :c

“Are you sure?” Cas asks.

“Yeah. I just- sorry.”

Suddenly Cas is holding him with both arms, face in his shoulder.

cas feels like he's losing jack to the outside world, as i've said. this may be part of the motivation for that fishing trip, as well.

“Dean says you’re growing up,” he murmurs. Jack feels it more than hears it. He raises an arm and pats Cas on the back, the way he’s seen Dean do.

i really wanted to make this scene longer and more comedic as i've said, but it just was not happening. i needed it to be late in the fic and i needed late in the fic to be more serious, you know?

Harper is cute when she’s sleeping. She throws an arm up over her eyes and curls up, grasping one knee to her chest. In the orange of the streetlights, it’s adorable.

It’s a lot of work, getting up on the hood of her car without too much noise, but as long as he sits criss-cross applesauce, it’s pretty comfortable. And the one time she woke up, she gasped like she was scared, her mouth wide and plush and shiny, but then she blushed firetruck red and grinned and made a little heart with her hands, so this is probably what he was supposed to do. It’s romantic.

just like harper's book! jack is trying to do the correct thing and he has no idea how to do that except from media and what harper has told him. and she has no idea what a red flag is so she thinks it's all cool.

Bzzt. So, what kind of music do you like?

I like classic rock.

Bzzt. Oh, cool. What do you like about it?

Well… Hm. Jack doesn’t know that much about music. What does he like? He knows… he knows what Dean likes. Does Jack even like music? It’s not a question he’s ever asked himself.

JACK FINALLY GRAPPLING WITH THE IDEA THAT HE MAY NOT LIKE THE THINGS HE THINKS HE DOES.

I just think it’s cool, I guess.

Bzzt. Okay!

The next time Harper comes over for a date, they watch Clone Wars . Harper says it's only fair, given that they watched her show last time.

They end up in Jack’s bedroom, since Sam, Dean, and Cas are watching The Beguiled in the Dean Cave.

i mean the one from the seventies with clint eastwood obviously. anyway. thought that was a funny pull.

It's comforting, watching Clone Wars on a laptop. He's been doing it since he was only a few days old. Some of his first memories - real ones, not the strange dreams from before - include doing just this.

return to the womb boy <3

He pulls up the movie first. Of course. But the opening crawl is barely over when he feels Harper tugging at him. She's kneeling beside him, sockfooted on the bed, shoes politely tucked next to his door.

He turns, and suddenly her hand is on his jaw. A shiver runs through him, memories making his pulse speed up. Harper over him, pressure. Plastic at his lips. He closes his eyes. It's instinctive. Doesn't see but feels her pull him in.

ambiguous whether he's afraid or turned on. remember when she kidnapped him for a first date and then manhandled him?

Lip against lip is- It's interesting. Jack has touched his lips before. He's certainly put them against things. Food. His pillow. the turned up collar of his coat. And yet- and yet this is different. Something in it makes him shiver.

Her hands are under his overshirt. Cool and powdery. He feels his stomach tighten as they sneak up his sides, brushing all the way.

Harper sucks his lip into her mouth. Scrapes it with her teeth. He feels a sharp movement of his own diaphragm, almost a hiccup, as she does it.

He opens his eyes. Watches Harper devour his mouth. Her eyes, an inch or two away, flit under their lids like a girl dreaming.

Cas had told him that he shouldn’t try to eat her. That he might get confused because he wanted something, but that eating wouldn’t be what he wants. He’s not sure what he wants.

this was my compromise since the cas sex ed scene had to be shortened.

He likes her.

this is the first time he's telling the real truth when he says he likes something. it comes after the music reckoning, so now jack knows that he's not sure of all his likes. but he's sure of this one.

Jack feels her move, and she’s light, but the way the canvas straps on his duffel bag are light. Weighing almost nothing, but holding everything. She’s across his lap, boxing him in. Straddling him. He can feel the heat, an emanation from between her legs. Jack chokes slightly. She leans forward, her body pressing against his until they’re collarbone to collarbone. Her lips brush his ear, and she whispers: “I’m better in bed than that orange slut will ever be.”

Dean catches the two of them sneaking to the door.

“You must be Harper,” he says, to Jack’s mortification. “Don’t I know you from somewhere?”

dean probably has enough cte at this point that he doesn't actually remember optimism

Sam jumps a little when Jack taps him on the shoulder. He always does that.

“Hey Jack,” he greets, shaking his hair out of his face. “What’s up?” He shuts his laptop and turns so he’s sitting sideways on the heavy wooden library chair.

“I wanted to talk to you about something,” Jack says. He fists his hands. He is going to ask. He is going to ask about Harper.

“Of course. You know you can always talk to me.”

“Yes. I like talking to you.” Is that true? Jack has never wondered before if that’s true. He is going to ask.

you see jack becoming more critical.

“So what’s up?”

He is going to ask.

“Can Harper come on a hunt with us?” The words don’t come out with the right inflection, but they’re out.

“Oh, uh, sure?” Sam says. “She knows, right? Cas said she knows. And she has some… ability…” Sam's mouth twitches, and he looks away.

sam projecting ruby and/or rowena again.

“Oh. Why wouldn't she?”

Sam's next breath is sharp, but he says nothing. Jack doesn't press further.

“Sam, Dean, Cas,” Jack says, “this is Harper.” He had agreed to “introduce her to the family,” if she was going to be hunting.

Harper stands at the end of the map table, like a doll waiting for an inspection.

Dean is sitting at the edge of the table, Sam and Cas on either side. He’d worked for hours on dinner, “ I don’t want to embarrass you in front of your girl, kid,” but all the sweat and exhaustion of that had been wiped away, probably with a shower, and he was looking every inch the congenial host.

dean winchester "we can't let people know we sit" moment. also again dean is so excited to micromanage jack's heterosexuality

On one side, Sam smiles wanly at Harper. He seems nervous, somehow, his shoulders pulled in. Sam never seems quite comfortable at sit down family dinners, but this is more than that. His nerves seem directed at Harper.

again. projecting ruby/rowena.

On the other side, Cas beams, even though Jack can see a little sparkle in his eyes.

cas crying a little...... his baby is growing apart from him.......

Harper’s place is set on Sam’s side of the table, and Jack’s on Cas’.

“Come on, sit down,” Dean pronounces down the table, and everyone unfreezes. Harper seems to wake up from a stupor, and Jack follows her to her place at the table before looping back around to his own spot, behind the three grown ups.

Jack scoops mac ‘n cheese onto his plate as Dean interrogates Harper.

“So what do you do?”

“I’m a librarian.”

Harper meets Dean’s eyes solidly, but without challenge. Jack can’t help but be a little impressed.

“Is it fun?”

“Yes, I love to read. I’ve always tried to see the world in books until now.”

“Where are you from?”

“Nebraska. You know, pretty small town. Not near anything important.”

“What’s your family like?”

“Oh, they’re nice. My mom taught me everything I know.” Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Sam zero in on her.

“That’s good, I like a girl who can respect her parents.”

YEEEEAAAHHHHH FAMILY BUSINESS.

Dean turns his gaze to Jack. Cas shoots him a little smile.

“So you two met on a case,” he says, “so how’d it happen? A little post-rescue eye magic, eh?”

“Well, actually, we were in a warehouse,” Jack starts, but his shins explode with pain. Harper has kicked him viciously under the table.

remember how dean pinched jack viciously earlier?

“Yeah, you know,” Harper says, “Jack saved me. From a monster.”

The image of Dean bursting into Harper’s apartment in pursuit of her ex-boyfriend comes unbidden to Jack’s mind.

teehee.

“Yeah,” he agrees, “totally.”

Jack jumps a little as air puffs out of the couch cushions. He’d had his eyes closed, been curled up, a little catnap while waiting on a text. But now someone is sitting beside him. Dean is sitting beside him. Jack doesn’t open his eyes, but he grips the arm of the couch.

“You know, kid, I’m proud of you,” he says. “Getting out there. Trying out living like regular people. The real world.”

“Yeah,” Jack says, quiet. He can sense Dean’s hand before it touches him, and he doesn’t flinch. Dean’s palm is warm resting on his elbow.

“I never really made it work, myself. I’m not used to the real world. Give me the life any day.”

like 80% of what dean means here is literally just "i, gay dean winchester, just could not hack it with a woman"

Dean chuckles. Jack glances over at him. He’s looking into the distance, somewhere else. Not any place in the bunker.

anyway this scene is about how dean is also like. a guy who was raised in a hole, like jack and harper. he too is from a serial killer cult and has no idea what's normal except what's on tv. it's turtles all the way down.

So, how did you get into Pushing Daisies, anyway?

Bzzt. My mom showed it to me. She wanted me to have positive necromancer role models.

That’s sweet. Where is your mom, anyway?

Bzzt. Oh, I killed her. She didn’t want Vance and me to be together.

That makes sense. Sometimes you do have to kill your family.

Bzzt. Exactly!

Jack’s got his headphones on to keep Sam and Dean’s voices out. Late every night when I am all alone, I call my baby on the telephone . He’s bored, stuck in his room all night, but it’s better than the alternative. Nothing sounds good to him, not TV, not games, not even YouTube, but he needs something to occupy himself.

During his research, the internet taught him about jerking off. A type of practice for sex, an experiment. He’s kind of curious about trying it.

jack jerking off to distract himself from sam and dean audibly fighting in the other room is an idea so diabolical i almost didn't include it.

He reaches a hand into his pants, and tries to picture Harper.

He tries just the idea of Harper, at first. Then he tries Harper in a swimsuit, like in one of Sam or Dean’s magazines. That’s interesting? But he’s not sure it’s really enjoyable. He might be starting to get an erection, but he doesn’t really know.

Harper spreading her legs like the woman in the vulva diagrams he’d looked at. That’s a little better. Harper lying on his bed spreading her legs. Okay. Harper pressing her vagina to him like she had when they’d kissed, except without clothing. Yeah. It could be hot against him.

Harper on top of him. Harper trapping him, caging him with her arms, her crotch hot against his. His breathing is coming fast, now. Harper grasping him in her arms from behind, he can see the cloth in her hand, coming for his face. Harper over him in the warehouse. Climbing onto him. Wetness against him as he strains against his bonds.

The sound of a glass shattering against the wall in the kitchen breaks through his headphones. His breath hitches.

Harper straddling him, hot cunt resting against him, pressing the water bottle to his lips. Pouring it in ‘til he chokes. Her warm, delicate hand pressing to his throat.

He makes a mess in his hand. He’ll clean it up later.

no girl likes getting pawed at unless she has some serious daddy issues,

Jack is pretty proud of his banana bread. Dean had given him the recipe, apparently they needed to use up some bananas, but he’d made it all himself. No one else had even helped.

RETURN OF THE BANANAAAAAAAA

He sets the plate down and a glass of milk before Harper on the map table, and she smiles up at him.

“Where is everybody?” she asks, mouth full. “This is really good. They should come try some while it’s still warm.”

also i had fun using this scene to establish that harper has gotten comfortable here. "where is everybody" as though she's totally used to tfw.

“They’re in the dungeon,” Jack says. “Sam and Cas are torturing a werewolf.”

dean is not with them because dean has some torturing trauma and doesn't like torturing <3

“Oh, makes sense,” she nods.

“I don’t like torturing,” Jack says. “Dean says I’ll grow into it, though.”

dean voice you have to do some torturing to be a real man

Harper mhms and swallows. She reaches for another slice.

Cas and Dean are fighting. Jack can hear them outside his room. He tries to put on his headphones, I got something to say that might cause you pain , but they’re too close. Too loud.

another funny song choice. imo.

“You don’t think I know what you’re planning?”

“What?”

“Cabin for two, up in Nebraska? By the lake? Nice and romantic.”

“That’s not-”

“‘Fishing…’” Jack hears the sound of spitting. “Who is she?”

the way dean is like oh cas is gay earlier but as soon as tensions get high he assumes that cas is gonna leave him for a woman.

“Dean, listen-”

“Do you know what I would do if you left me, Cas? Do you know what it does to me when you just run off like you always do?”

i tried to make sure all of the Behaviors dean and harper exhibited in this fic were also exhibited by the other. so. deanjealousy.

Jack can feel the cold of the room key in his hand. He gets up, padding-quiet across the floor, and turns it. There’s a little clunk and he flinches, not expecting that. But it’s not loud enough to be heard over the crash from the kitchen. It appears the father-son fishing trip won’t happen after all.

dean gave him the key for sex but he's actually using it to symbolically protect himself from his household. also, the walls are closing in: cas can never be his escape route because cas will always cave. his independence has to be through harper.

“That’s,” Harper nervous-giggles a little, fingers digging into the rough sheets, “that’s crazy. That werewolves are real. The outside world is so weird.” She’s leaning back on her bed. Sam has given them both the spiel on tomorrow’s job and left them in Harper’s room.

for harper there's no distinction between the real world and the hunting world, it's all outside of her fantastical world of yockeynatural.

Jack’s own bed is next to Sam’s in their double on the ground floor, but the singles are on the upper floor, so Harper is next to Dean and Cas. Jack can hear them murmuring to each other through the wall, but can’t make out the words.

“Yeah, I guess.” Jack stands near the tiny motel TV, not sure whether to put his hands in his pockets or clasp them behind him, and so doing neither.

“Kind of scary,” she says, eyes closed. She tilts her head back, looks up at the ceiling through closed eyelids. Her neck is long and delicate.

“I’ve never thought about it that way,” he says, “it’s just how things are.”

many things in jack's life are like this.

Dean and Cas are sneaking in the front. Sam is crouched in the bushes for back up.

yes. YES. serial killers destroying the ordinary nuclear family.

Jack gets to go in the back.

The house is mostly brick, at least on the first floor, which is good for a shootout. Less risk of overpenetration. The backyard is pretty manicured, which is less ideal, but at least it isn’t illuminated. Dean said everyone in this household is a werewolf, so at least there’s no risk of civilians.

Jack keeps a hand on his - Sam’s - gun as he steps between tomato plants. He stays off the slate-paved path to the back door. Too much risk of noise.

He can’t hear Harper behind him, but he can feel her fingertips brushing his.

The screen door creaks and he flinches, not expecting that. He hears Harper gasp behind him. But no other sounds are forthcoming. After a moment, he untenses and steps in.

The hallway’s wallpaper is yellow. Slightly scuffed from when some large piece of furniture had knocked against it, perhaps years ago. There are two doors, one on the left, and one at the end.

lol. yellow wallpaper.

He can hear his own footsteps, just barely, but not Harper’s. He glances back to see her sock-footed. She must’ve slipped out of her shoes at the door.

He nudges the door on the left open, gun raised, but it’s dark. Small. Too small for someone to be hiding. A bathroom. He flicks the light on, just in case, but it’s definitely empty. Nothing but the SpongeBob loofah looking back at him. He nods to Harper.

all the little marks of a perfectly normal household of regular people that they're gonna kill <3

The main light is off in the room at the end of the hallway, but Jack can see a light of some kind, cold and flickery, shining from inside. A screen maybe.

He presses the door and it swings, stopping just short of hitting the wall next to it, and Jack breathes a tiny sigh of relief, but tenses again when he sees inside. The room is dark enough to just be shapes, but there’s a bright square of image in the center, and just in front of it, the clear outline of a head.

Jack freezes.

Bang. Bang bang.

Three shots in quick succession. From the front of the house.

The figure doesn’t move.

Jack hears Dean’s voice shout “front clear,” but he’s too focused on the figure to really hear it. He inches forward into the room, gun pointed. Safety off.

The werewolf is wearing headphones. That’s why he didn’t hear it. Gunfire is spattered across the screen in cold white flashes, and he’s wearing headphones.

when the kid doesn't hear the fighting. because he's wearing headphones. :3

Jack steps up behind him and pulls the trigger.

YEEEEAHHHH JACK KILL YOUR DOUBLE. unselfawarely

Gunshots are very loud. Most people know this, but it’s hard to express just how unpleasant it is to hear a bullet fired a few feet from your face without ear protection. Jack still hears Harper squeal.

Blood is spurting from the werewolf’s chest in a geyser, and Jack can see his face illuminated in the light of the screen, the boy’s mouth fishlike and gasping as he expires. The light flickers. Computer generated blood splashes across the monitor and it goes dark, displaying the message “You have died.”

Jack turns to look at Harper. She’s covered in blood. It soaks the ruffles of her buttercup-yellow shirt, and drips from her lashes as she stares at him, wide-eyed.

starts in blood, ends in blood. a bloody coming of age. jack getting initiated into the sickness of a hunter's adulthood. he has become what his role models have taught him to be, in every way.

The next moment, she’s flung her arms around him. Face buried in his shoulder. He can feel her shaking, but he feels warm.

Sam drives them home in the Impala. Dean and Cas are taking Cas’ truck.

Harper dozes, her head on Jack’s shoulder, gore sticky all down her front.

instead of hiding the blood, jack shows it off like a badge of honor. it's initiated him into adulthood.

Jack leans against the map table. He feels a lot better after a shower and a change of clothes, but he’s still wired. Wired enough that he flinches when he hears Dean’s step.

“Whoa, Tony,” Dean says, and Jack feels the hand on his shoulder, firm but gentle. Okay. Jack relaxes a little.

flinchboyyyyyyy. approval seeking missile. both at once.

“You did good today, kid,” Dean says, “get some sleep.” And it’s a warm, fizzing thing. Jack feels it from the tip of his toes up to behind his ears. He did good today.

oh also. i wanted to say. another reason i decided to excise the soul magic plot entirely is that i didn't want people attributing jack's character arc in this fic to soullessness. he Did That all on his own <3

Jack’s phone buzzes, and he jolts awake. Good morning <3.

FLINCHBOY! fin

#spriteofmushrooms #spn #asks

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dance-like-an-idiot · 5 months ago

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hi @madebyteenagefury i ended up making the dykesettos timeline poetic as hell and 2765 words long so i thought i would be a lot better if i made a new post for it

if you're new here go read this :3 context to where this au all started

lastly, she/her only for marvin and any for whizzer! everything under this cut is a hypothetical timeline for transfem marvin and gnc whizzer for dykesettos :D

marvin always knew that she liked lipstick and feminine things but she assumed her jealous adoration for those wearing it was a mix of attraction and misogyny to those things ("doesn't every man feel this way? since women are hot and also weak" ←simplifed) marvin didn't start experimenting until she felt kinda secure (?) in a little delusion of being cishet with a wife and son. (like "yes i am a strong man i love my wife and my son and my life.") and it took a Long time (i assume it must have started one time when she was drunk and had trina's lipstick on her lips from a kiss and she might've taken some lipstick and tried it out) before she actually started to consciously do it.

Also, i imagine marvin struggles with her sexuality so much that she can't tell the difference between when she's jealous and when she's attracted. she finds out trina likes her so they go out but trina gets pregnant so they're stuck together which trina is learning to be happy about but marvin isn’t. marvin Definitely likes women (especially some more genders cough whizzer) though, mostly in a physical way and doesn't find herself finding many of her date's personalities appealing (cause lets be honest who would marvin actively like that isn’t whizzer?). back to the regularly scheduled shit!!

most of her experience being feminine was while drunk and all of it was while thoroughly hating herself and what she was doing. she would try on trina's clothes in the middle of the night (they wouldn't fit) and assumed for a while her body dysphoria (of looking at her very masculine body in a mirror) was actually proof of her not being trans.

at this point marvin still hates herself for wearing women's clothes but has been doing it in secret at most twice a month since jason could talk, jason is 8-9; i assume when she meets whizzer she's finds herself heading to a gay bar (and she may or may not have put on some of trina's makeup because isn't that apart of the bar scene? and maybe she found some clothes of hers (and shamefully trina's) that look androgynous because the outfit would look bad otherwise) on a day where whizzer is fem and through various hook ups with them figures out that he's trans and gets pretty disgusted (cause sure she might like whizzer more than she's ever liked trina but she isn't gay and whizzer is a woman anyways. no matter how hot he looks with an undercut and sharper jaw. they're lucky she isn't a man if anything, it's been hell for marvin) so marvin for a while (still experimenting throughout) still thinks that she's straight because whizzer is Definitely Not A Man. (which they aren’t but that doesn’t make marvin straight)

whizzer here first assumes that marvin is a baby trans and they like women and money so why not? once again while hooking up she finds out marvin is transphobic and doesn't understand what they are but whizzer stays because she can be very sweet and kind to him and dammit if whizzer wasn't attracted as hell to marvin when they first met (and the sex is good)

anyways when the divorce is finalized whizzer starts to force marvin into his fem clothes so that marvin can stop being transphobic ("oh noo i can't wear a dress cause you just got it dirty :(((" "then do the damn laundry") and cause she thinks marvin looks hot (read; happier) when she's feminine. marvin spends more and more nights where she takes whizzers dresses and skirts into the bathroom and tries them on to look at herself because she’s ashamed about how much she likes doing it. luckily whizzer has a lot of makeup but they would kill her if she touched it so she usually puts on whizzers mascara and sometimes liner if there's a new pack of makeup wipes.

during jason’s therapy era; whizzer suspects something is happening (she is very particular about their makeup) but she talks to marvin about her using his makeup after they both Mysteriously Get Pink Eye (don't share mascara folks) it's a rare gentle moment from whizzer when she finally put its all together; that a lot of marvin's bullshit is from her internalized transphobia being mixed with her misogyny and her own trans-ness, but they also Really Aren't Sure how he can help with that. So.

anyways whizzer asks marvin if she likes how she looks when wearing makeup and when after a long time of marvin denying it all, she very reluctantly nods yes. so whizzer does her makeup, gets her in a dress, and styles her (very short) hair. she's wearing heels, her legs are shaved, she has a bra stuffed with socks on, and her face looks soft... she looks like a woman for the first time ever. and even though it’s 4 am, she has to drive to work in 3 hours, her head hurts from the tight headband whizzer found for her, and her brain feels uprooted and instincts petrified, she's never felt so happy in her life. then they kiss or something idk.

marvin kinda knows that she's a woman now (in the way of “oh i might not like being a man but i might be faking it and i don't want to be a woman (misogyny)”) she talks to whizzer about it but it leads to fights cause despite all of her inner conflict she's still marvin and can't be wrong about anything ever. she is also, through these fights, is learning more about how whizzer sees their own gender and really doesn't understand it (tbf whizzer doesn't either) they still fight about it but with marvin realizing she might be like whizzer the tone is very different and i'm not sure how to describe it.

anyways mendel’s proposal fucks up her self discovery journey cause shes a little more focused on gaining control in her life rather than self discovery just by her own nature. she still loses whizzer, still loses trina, and still tries to be better to jason. AND STILL MEETS THE LESBIANS FROM NEXT DOOR YEAHHHHH!!!!!

in the two years marvin starts to feel much more confident as herself. she prioritizes her constant need for control (cause it cost her literally everything) as well as being an active figure in jason's life, and then works on her misogyny and transphobia. it's at the bottom of her list because, first of all; jason is her damn world and she's generally not being an asshole anymore so self discovery can come later. and second; she's Very Fucking Scared. but finally, after living next to the lesbians for 8 months (act 1 ended 3 months ago) and realizing that they're wonderful people who work well together despite being women, she starts to visit more and more often.

whizzer (sadly) took all of their makeup and clothes when she was kicked out so marvin has been stranded since then in terms of looking feminine (and being happy). so marvin has been trying to work up the courage to go shopping for Girl Clothes (absolutely terrifying, everyone will be able to tell she's trans (is she??) and they'll probably drag her out the store and beat her) or ask the lesbians if she can borrow clothes (absolutely terrifying, what if they say no? what if they think she's faking it? what if she is? what if they don't want to be friends and marvin starts to subconsciously revert back to how she felt as a teen, undoing all her progress and making everything worse?)

she doesn't end up asking though because they give her an invitation to a girls night (being friends for 7 months) where they all paint their nails, do each other's makeup, style each other's hair, and maybe do some demon summonings. charlotte and cordelia offered because they know how much marvins been working on herself (especially the misogyny). they didn't do this thinking she was trans, though.

they had suspicions early on that she was trans. because before they were friends, they had seen her with makeup on her face, sometimes wearing clothes with figure-framing necklines, and jewelry, sometimes hidden under clothes. since they hadn't seen any of that in 10 months, the thought had pretty much left their mind, and the only thing that could signal to her femininity was her growing out her hair.

anyways GIRLS NIGHT WAS A SUCCESS!! marvin had so much fucking fun with the lesbians and had so much fucking fun playing around and doing feminine things and she could never have done it without them. she doesn't want to give in at first, her only shared feminine experiences had been with whizzer, because there is something fundamentally different about being with charlotte and cordelia. they notice how she doesn't wanna give in (and they Know its her misogyny) so cordelia takes her hand and simply asks her “purple or red?” holding up two nail polishes. marvin lets herself go then as cordelia paints her nails a deep red, an aretha franklin vinyl playing as charlotte and cordelia's high voices sing along, assisted by spikey dance moves whenever marvin’s nails need to dry. eventually her shoulders are fully relaxed and she is forced into learning the lyrics once her nails are dried. she tells them she really likes doing these things. she was trying to tell them she’s trans. it was still a great day though

so marvin hasn't fully accepted herself or fully gotten rid of the transphobia and misogyny but she's done a lot of fucking work!! they all go shopping for women's clothes together, they find marvin her own set of makeup and cordelia teaches her how to do her makeup and hair care when they find the time. when charlotte has free days they all hang out together and listen to more iconic women’s albums and marvin gets taught feminine mannerisms, like sitting and walking and standing. every time she sees herself in a mirror she looks more and more like a woman.

she and cordelia work on her girl voice every week now, and when they hang out each day is ended with cordelia giving her cooking lessons because dammit she wants to show marvin how to cook and bake!! and now with jason being around every weekend, its getting harder and harder to try and hide who she is… but jason doesn’t need to learn about what his father does in his free time. marvin doesn’t want him to know. but she cooks him dinner now, so he might know, and he might tell trina and mendel, and either of those two find out her life will be ruined.

15 months without whizzer and when jason asks about her the first thing marvin does is make jason realize that whizzer is transgender and she may just have a heart attack. jason tells her he had suspicions but “didn’t know you liked being around those people.” marvin scoffs and almost outs herself (for what? she's not trans) but in the end, as the conversation is ending, jason asks marvin what the makeup in the bathroom is from and she can see the cogs turning in her son's head as he starts to realize who his mother is. marvin doesn’t know what she is (she does)

jason is gone the next weekend for a sleepover and marvin spends it all next door crying (only a little bit) on their couch with wine in her hands and she looks so fully like a man right now her skin is grating to feel and the three of them head into marvins apartment because they are going to store away her guy clothes and she is going to be a woman (pointedly avoiding that phrasing because marvin freezes whenever either of them suggest her being a woman) so they do just that, and marvin gets herself ready while the lesbians wait in the living room, drinking the wine they retrieved from their apartment.

marvin is having an internal crisis as she gets herself ready just like she’s done more than a hundred times before. it feels easy for her to slip her arms into a dress and to apply lipstick. it feels like it matters far more than it should. she caps the lipstick and sees herself in the mirror. she is a woman… she might cry, but she feels too strongly for that to stop her and she whispers those words to herself. and she’s a woman. and she really likes when people call her “she.” she walks out to the lesbians and they cheer at her appearance and marvin repeats those same words to them. and now she's being hugged so she cries because she can’t think of anything as wonderful as this. she’s never been so loved by anyone. she loves love. and she's a woman. she loves that most of all, and this time her fear is lesser than her love.

the week from there is spent with marvin trying to hype herself up into having that conversation with jason which scares her but the lesbians confiscated her male clothes which she is incredibly happy and terrified about because she doesn’t think she passes very well and work is going to be a nightmare when she has to avoid everyone in the office but at least nothing happened when she was wearing makeup so she doesn’t think she is in immediate danger if someone puts 2 and 2 together but jason is coming over any second now since school ended an hour ago but jason has been hanging out with some friends after school recently and misses the first train and there's a knock at her door and she hasn’t told her son she's a woman yet—

jason is taken aback when she opens the door but his face settles in recognition and asks her “are you my mom now?” marvin’s eyes shine with tears as she responds, “i always have been kid, but now i know that too.” marvin opens her arms for a hug and jason falls into his mother’s arms (reluctantly, but marvin wouldn’t have him any other way.)

over a year and a half after act 1; marvin is out to herself, cordelia, charlotte, and jason. trina, mendel, her boss and a few coworkers must know too but none of them have brought it up and she won't either. she's very happy but she misses whizzer a lot and things are overall very good for her. a lot of growth has been done and there have been a few encounters with people but she avoids most of them by not going out late (she doesn’t want to anyways, the lesbian wine nights are much better)

marvin has been going to jason’s baseball games since the season has started and she really hates them because it’s so boring and also cause all the other members of jason’s cheer squad seem to be invested in the game. whizzer shows up one day and for a second she hardly recognizes her. they haven’t changed in appearance much, but whizzer has been known to use makeup to exaggerate certain features of his depending on the day and today is no different. whizzer looks hot. incredibly so. and marvin wants to surround herself with whizzer.

whizzer on the other hand knew that marvin was probably going to be at jason’s game. the kid hadn’t hidden it when he offered whizzer to join him, and whizzer was hesitant but ultimately couldn’t say no to him. they spent 2 hours getting themselves ready for the game. but he convinced herself that she was going to go to support jason first and foremost, and also to show marvin how good they were without her. whizzer was not expecting marvin to be fully presenting as a woman, instead he pictured marvin with deep eyebags, stupidly short hair, and the least flattering sweatshirt they’ve seen in her life. instead whizzer saw a woman, saw marvin. and really, it was already over for them.

then they’re happy and nothing bad happens even though im thinking about them being really involved in the aids crisis in protests and stuff i honestly think that marvin’s self discovery ends here and i think im better suited to write one shots of them being happy then grasping for ideas that i can’t explain as well as i could. but yeah! 2765 words of self discovery YIPPEE hope you enjoyed i love them so much my god

#fandoms rambles #fandoms fics ish #LIKE ITS THAT LONG ??#dykesettos #falsettos au #falsettos #marvin falsettos #its literally all about her #i dont know if i should tag anything else #hrmmmmm #t4t whizzvin

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