#just a little scene that goes more into Father's morality

[ladykailitha]

The Caged Bird Still Sings Part 1

I am finally ready to show you all the Sugar Baby!Steve/Sugar Daddy!Eddie fic I've been working on. I'm not sure how long it will go, but Steve's going to go on a journey with this one.

But I feel I need to go into the title of this fic a bit, because I feel it’s important to talk about before starting the story.

The Caged Bird Still Sings, because they are well taken care of and has every need met. They will never starve, or thirst or get too hot or cold, they will be cared for if sick or injured. The only price is the cage.

It’s like that owl that got released from that zoo by well-meaning ‘animal advocates’ that died by flying into a high rise building. If it had still been in the zoo it would have lived for another thirty years.

So in this story Steve starts off thinking that Eddie’s love and attention is only temporary and is actively trying to get a job, make money of his own, and move out and away from needing Eddie’s money and gifts to survive so that they can be on more even footing.

But as the story goes on and he can’t get work and he meets Robin, he slips into this melancholy for awhile thinking that if he wants to continue living like this there has to be some sort of trade and thinks it’s about sex.

Which is why Eddie refuses to have sex with him during that time. He wants them to be couple and knows that Steve isn’t there yet.

It’s only at the end when Steve realizes this isn’t temporary, that Eddie isn’t just trying to buy sex from him, that he settles into being taken care of. By Robin, by Eddie, by the rest of the band. Not because they don’t think he can take care of himself but because they love him.

There will be only two sex scenes in this. Once at the beginning before the Arrangement, and once at the end when they are both on the same page and they consummate their relationship.

If you think this isn’t your cup of tea, no problem. Let me know in the comments, tags, DMs, or even asks (I’ll answer privately) and I’ll take you off the list. I already have one that has told me upfront that they aren’t interested and won’t be tagged.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this little story.

~

Steve sat in his Bimmer, head hung low between his shoulders, tears streaming down his face. Everything he owned was in the trunk and backseat of the car. It was his car. The title had been signed over to him when he turned eighteen.

He was still wearing the stupid little green vest and name tag that bore the name Family Video. A place he no longer worked. He’d have to return them to the store in the morning, but for now, it created the illusion of still being employed.

When he woke up yesterday morning, he had three things; a home, a job, and a boyfriend. And now he didn’t have any of that shit.

All because last night his parents came home to find him and Tommy on the sofa with their hands in each other’s pants. Leaving no doubt about what they were doing.

They kicked Steve out mere minutes after Tommy fled, his father screaming that he wouldn’t have a dirty whoring fag in his house. All while his mother cried about losing her baby to those ‘horrid queers’.

Steve had called around to his friends looking for a place to spend the night, but they were all too afraid of his dad. His father roared with laughter each time a friend turned him down.

“They don’t want a dirty fag in their house either,” he said with a sneer as Steve hung up on his last hope.

“Now get the hell out of my house.”

Steve did as he was told and spent the night in his car in the parking of Family Video. When it came time to open the store, he grabbed his clothes and work vest and got changed in the bathroom.

By noon, his life was over. Keith had sat him down in his office and told him that due to morality clause that Steve had violated, he would no longer be working at Family Video. He handed Steve his last check and told him he had to return the vest cleaned with his badge by tomorrow or he would be forced to pay for them.

Steve cashed the check. It wasn’t much as it was only the beginning of the new pay period and he had barely worked eight hours before he had been fired.

He had some money in his savings account, another thing that had been signed over to him when he turned eighteen. But not enough for a hotel. So he went to the bank and closed out the account. All total it was only fifty bucks. That might get him a night at a cheap motel, but nothing past that. He would be homeless, penniless, and friendless if he tried.

But there was another way to get a warm place to stay at least for the night without spending everything he had.

He got dressed up in the sluttiest outfit he had. He pulled on tight leather black pants and yellow shirt that barely grazed the top of his belly button. He put on a little eyeliner and mascara, then he added strawberry lip balm to make his lips pop.

Steve opened his wallet and pulled out his fake ID. The one he got when he was sixteen off his cousin.

They looked close enough to be brothers and Scott was easy to change to Steve and ta da! He put it in front of his actual ID and drove out to the Hideout.

He parked far enough away from the bar so people wouldn’t see all his stuff in the back and then walked up to the line. He was so focused on getting in that he missed all the signs.

The lack of variety in clothes from those in the line, the bouncer asking for a high cover charge, higher than normal, and the most glaring? The great big fucking stage setup with the huge ass banner that said in bold fucking letters: CORRODED COFFIN.

Nope, it took getting a seat at the bar and the bartender straight up asking if his girlfriend was a fan of the band before Steve realized his error.

He was a prep surrounded by metal fans all there to see Corroded Coffin. Steve was familiar with them. But then again you had to be dead not to know the name of the biggest band to make out of Hawkins, metal fan or not.

Eddie Munson was older than Steve by a decade, so he was only ten when the older man took his band to LA and made it big. Which if you had listened to any of his teachers or even just anyone over forty at the time for longer than two seconds they would rant about how they never thought he would amount to anything. That making music was a pipe dream and to just accept taking his uncle’s place at the manufacturing plant on the outside of town.

He also knew that they made sure to stop and play here at the Hideout every time they did any American tour just to fuck with those assholes.

So he had really picked the worst night to have his life completely fucked over enough for him to even think about coming here to get laid. Because chances were, he wasn’t gonna. He just hoped that someone took pity on him enough to buy him his drinks so that he could shit-faced enough to endure sleeping rough again.

He ordered a dirty martini and hoped to be left alone at the very least.

~

Eddie was in the back tuning his guitar when Jeff came in shaking his head.

“What’s up, man?” he asked looking back down at his sweetheart.

“Some poor bastard wandered in on the night we perform,” Jeff said with a chuckle.

Eddie raised his head and frowned. “What do you mean?”

“Come here, come here,” Jeff said, waving him over.

Eddie set his guitar down and walked over. Jeff pointed at the guy at the bar. Bright yellow shirt and shiny leather pants.

“Ooh...” he said with a wince. “Poor guy. Probably had a shit day and wanted to blow off some steam and now his day is just going to get worse.”

Jeff nodded. “Yeah, I’m half tempted to at least buy the guy a drink for the sheer fact he fucking stayed. The balls on that dude.”

Eddie watched as the guy fondled the stem of his glass. He licked his lips slowly.

“Oh no,” Jeff said, face palming. “I know that look. And absolutely fucking not. He looks super young, Ed.”

Eddie just shrugged. “He’s at least twenty-one, otherwise he wouldn’t have made it past Monty.”

Jeff raised his head and blinked at him for a moment. Monty was a good bouncer who could spot a fake a mile away.

“Yeah, okay,” he huffed. “Objection retracted.”

Eddie clapped his hands together and rubbed them. “Tell Chrissy to start a tab for this guy and have it be in my name and to put the word out that if anyone is seen harassing him will get kicked out.”

Jeff sighed but did as he was told. Eddie sat back down and began tuning his guitar again. He thought tonight was going to blow, but a little yellow canary just made things a hell of a lot more interesting.

~

Steve was sitting at the bar nursing his one drink for the evening and keeping his head down when a perky blonde slid up next to him.

“I need five bottles of Miller,” she told the bartender and then turned and gave Steve a once over. “And something for the fine gentleman here.”

Steve turned to look at her. Her hair was actually closer to red than blonde but she was cute in a preppy cheerleader kind of way.

“All these going on the same tab?” the bartender asked, handing her the five unopened beers.

She smiled up at him. “Yep! And all his drinks, too. All night. Whatever he wants.”

The bartender raised an eyebrow and then looked over Steve up and down. “God damn him. He’s doing it again?”

The woman just giggled and winked at Steve before taking her prizes with her.

Steve wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth so downed his drink and ordered a Tequila Sunrise to replace it.

But curiosity won out. “Do I want to know what that was about?”

The bartender chuckled and shook his head fondly.

Steve thought about saying something bitchy, but he really wanted his drinks for free and poking the bear was not a plan if he wanted that to happen, so kept his mouth shut.

The band came out and Steve knew he was in trouble. He objectively knew what the band looked like and vaguely knew who was who even. But all that blew out the fucking window in the face of Eddie Munson in the flesh.

Tight pants, leather jacket, shredded t-shirt, combat boots, and his hair whipping back and forth?

God, Steve was instantly horny and just as hard. He shifted in his pants and prayed that the tight pants kept his dick from showing too much. Otherwise, this was going be a very awkward evening.

He was listening to the band and bobbing along to the music when some dude over fifty came up to him.

“Name three songs off their third album,” he growled.

Steve blinked at him for a moment and then raised one eyebrow. “Dude, I’m just here for the booze. I’ve had a shit day just want to relax.”

“So you’re some townie who thinks that because this your fucked up hell hole that you can just take the spot of some real fan who wanted to see them more than you?”

Steve really didn’t know how to answer that. Because, yeah. That’s exactly what he thought.

“It’s not that serious,” Steve said, turning back to his drink. “They’re playing in both Indy and Bloomington. They can see them there instead of this dimly lit bar.” He mouthed ‘sorry’ to the bartender, who shrugged and tried to hide his smile.

“And how would you know that, asshole?” the guy growled.

Steve sighed and pointed to the sign behind the bar listing Corroded Coffin’s tour dates.

The guy whipped his head to look at the sign but before he could say anything else, Monty came up to the guy and quietly ushered him away, whispering furiously as the guy’s face paled.

The bartender shook his head. “These dudes never learn.”

Steve took a sip of his drink and set it down. “What’s that?”

“That the guys,” he pointed to the stage and Steve looked over his shoulder at the band kicking it on stage, he nodded, “don’t like it when fans try and gate keep. They can’t do jack shit at larger venues but place like this? They absolutely refuse to let that kind of shit go on.”

Steve looked over his shoulder just in time to catch Eddie winking at him. He blushed and turned bright red.

The bartender laughed before he moved on to take another order.

~

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18

Tag List: CLOSED

1- @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @beelze-the-bubkiss

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @cryptid-system

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @justforthedead89 @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji

5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33

[atombombkaytee]

I’ve watched the entire series again today in a hungover state and I CAN’T DEAL with all the parallels.

I mean, when Lucy finds out about her Dad’s true actions and origins - her whole world falls apart. She saw the vaults as safety - she looked up to her Dad more than anyone else in the world. She learns that he’s lied about who he is as a man and as her father, but also she must realise that the vault’s are hiding their own dirty secrets (especially after her experience at vault 4) and that her Dad is a part of that too. She even says to Max, after leaving vault 4, that if she destroyed a whole community to save him, he would be heartbroken: when that’s exactly what he did on an even grander and more terrible scale. Lucy’s life wasn’t even in direct danger to warrant that reaction - he’s just an insecure selfish arsehole.

At the very same time we see the flashback scene of Coop hearing Barb suggest that they drop the bombs on America. This woman that he loves and trusts and has made a family with - who he said he fell in love with because she always tries to do the right thing. Their reactions at the point of realisation - shock, inability to speak, almost dissociation - are both extremely similar. Him having gone through that betrayal before (and likely plenty of times since) is EXACTLY why he talks to Lucy how he does. He’s preparing her for the eventual heartbreak - because he has experience which states that nothing could ever be as perfect as she claims her life is. When he’s making ass jerky from Roger, he even tells her: there’s what people say they do and then there’s what they really do.

When you look at all of that, really, in the scheme of things, Coop - the man that she’s seen as this inhuman, cruel, murderous monster - he’s the good guy. He too thought his wife’s business with vault tec was abhorrent. Yes, he’s been warped and twisted by the wasteland and by his own trauma - but he does see this brightness in Lucy. He thought she was just naive and full of bullshit (especially being a vault dweller. Something which I’m sure triggered him considering his past with vault tec and the links to his wife) but when she proved herself by giving him the vials instead of letting him die, he’s probably amazed that there’s someone left in the world who isn’t just a liar and a terrible person. He’s so used to betrayal and violence by this point. She’s a good person - a trait that he literally said he was in love with his wife because of. She softens him.

But she also proves herself in another way - by shooting her feralled mother - showing that she’s also grown and learnt that not everything is black and white. It’s not just “good and bad” in this world. And although Coop has questionable morals, he’s honest, like her. He tells it how it is. Plus, after her Dad’s huge life changing betrayal and her time in the wasteland, she understands a little more why Coop has done all the things that she’s seen him do - I mean he did meet her pretty much day one out of the vault initially - hence why she goes with him. He has hardened her up to protect her in the wasteland.

Wilzig even says “will you still want the same things when you’re a different animal altogether.”

My god. It’s just genius. Absolutely genius.

“You comin’?”

Edit: Can we also talk about how Coop is basically the inspiration for the vault boy - who Lucy basically looks to (physically a few times throughout the series) for inspiration to do the right thing. AND the fact that her Dad was obviously a bit obsessed with Coop and probably still was when Lucy was born, seeing as he’d been in a pod and had only just woken up, retaining recent memories. So Lucy likely watched all of his films and her Dad maybe even saw him as a bit of a role model (or at least his in-film characters). AND the obvious exchange of index fingers. Yup. Honestly if this relationship doesn’t become cannon, I will start dropping bombs too.

ANOTHER EDIT: Sorry one last thing but, I just want to add: nothing that post-war Coop does is personal. It’s either: to get a job done, survival, because he’s been triggered by something (understandable after what’s he been through) or, in Lucy’s case, to teach a (admittedly often harsh) lesson. He doesn’t just mindlessly kill - or particularly enjoy killing - he just has no issue with it, it’s all just means to an end. He even still remembers to pay for his tomatoes in Filly ffs haha… I imagine he’s extremely numb and devoid of all feeling - except for when it comes to his wife and little girl. That’s the only time we see more visceral reactions in either actions or dialogue from him. He’s such an intricate character and Walton did an amazing job of portraying him.

[revive-the-fandom]

please please please talk about how Jack looks to North for confirmation and how he left after North turns away during the Easter scene I really wanna hear your thoughts about that

ahhh anon tysm for asking!!!! i will gladly ramble about this, but remember, you asked lol

(also so sorry!! this has been a draft since August :| whoops!)

i feel like it's important to note that the Guardian's don't have a leader - at least not in an official capacity. in battle they individually hold their own and defend each other, but there's no one calling the shots because they're all equal. and when it comes to decisions, they discuss them as a group (and seem to go by majority rather than unanimous decision).

North is often mistaken for the leader, when the fact is that he's not. He's just loud and driven, and often more proactive or impulsive than the others. They tend towards following him because he is the only one who actually suggests anything. He's the Idea Guy. He's also the Guy With The Tools. so they default to his house, not because that's their Home Base, but because North is the only one to invite anyone over.

But North's not the leader because there is no leader.

which makes this scene really interesting to me, because when Bunny dismisses him, Jack doesn't give up then and there,

Jack turns to North for confirmation that he feels the same,

and yes, technically Tooth is also there, and a part of the Guardians, and we've established that North is not the leader because they work as a team in all aspects. but Jack is not looking at Tooth, the camera work/angle shows that explicitly,

the only opinion that Jack deeply cares about is North's.

not Bunny's, who's holiday he (accidentally) ruined, who he just started honestly getting to know and like, whose relationship has the most history and tension and stakes. not even just because Bunny's the symbol of Hope and this scene is about the destruction of it.

nope. North is who Jack looks to.

because North has repeatedly proven himself as someone Jack can trust to have his back socially, emotionally and physically. North has shown that he's willing and able to see through Jack's blase front and that he knows how and when to knock it down and talk through the issue, and when to play along with it.

He knows when to seek Jack out when he by all accounts appears to want to be alone.

North and Jack is perhaps the most vital relationship in the whole movie. North is the biggest reason Jack stays with the Guardians, and Jack is the only reason the Guardians survive the movie. Despite the movie's focus on the Guardians working as a team (including Jack), the movie relies heavily on Jack and North's friendship/father-son relationship to carry the movie.

North and Jack have only known each other for a handful of days, and yet the scene in which Jack and Bunny have a falling out, which is central to their characters and character arcs/themes, has to include Jack and North because it's already such a deep bond.

and it's so clear as to why it is that way! after 300 years of isolation (whether that be near total, or just as someone disconnected from his family and friends in an unfamiliar culture) Jack finally gets someone who goes out of their way to bring him comfort and stability.

like, the others try, and they're lovely to Jack but they're not equipped to do the same thing as North. North has this near-instant and total understanding of what Jack needs to feel comfortable.

I know a lot of people don't like the GoC books, but given his backstory there - an orphan who was raised by Cossaks, who was constantly on guard, constantly moving around, demanding authority, but still retaining a strong moral compass - it makes a lot of sense. He's probably trying to emulate either Ombric (his mentor and father-figure) or Katherine (his little sister-figure), and how they comforted him. He's probably treating Jack how he himself wanted to be treated, though likely tweaked a bit to fit Jack's personality (he's shyer than North for sure).

which is a very long way of saying, I love that North's relationship with Jack is strong and deep enough that Jack, even after being threatened with physical harm

and being outright rejected by Bunny, he still looks to North. Not because North has any authority, not because Jack wants to stay on the team, but because he wants to know he hasn't disappointed North. He wants to know that North believes him, will hear him out, will sit him down and explain that no, actually, it wasn't his fault.

it's only once North turns away, rejects him too, that Jack accepts the rejection.

and his response? He throws away North's doll (which represents a lot of things for Jack, but for the purposes of this argument) because the relationship is broken at this moment. they've lost that trust and understanding, and Jack is acknowledging it, accepting it, and cementing it all at once by leaving.

and North immediately grieves and regrets it

because again, in this moment that's centered around Jack and Bunny, Jack is once again only (or, mostly) thinking about North. It's North's rejection, North's doll, North's trust and compassion that he cares about.

North gave Jack that little piece of himself, that little bit of Wonder that sits in North's core, so that Jack could experience it, lean on it in place of his own core, while he works out what his own is. He gave Jack that reasurrance that he would support him, and Jack throws it away because it didn't work (again, in part because of Jack's own failure to communicate).

there's just something so tragic in that moment to me. more so than the argument between Jack and Bunny, more so than the antartica scene or the memories. Jack and North losing faith in each other is more of an emotional gut punch than anything else.

[lurkingshan]

Things That Have My Attention in 4 Minutes Episode 5

If you watched this on iQIYI you missed a few scenes! A couple of which I think were actually important. Gaga has the full cut.

The show did a nice little montage summarizing the core theory (that is clearly correct): Great is in the midst of a NDE and is experiencing a mix of things during the 4 minute window: memories, perceptions, rewinds and do-overs, and a new start with Tyme who he purportedly had a relationship with in the original timeline.

Also as theorized, the NDE seems to have begun at 11:00, so Great has until 11:04 in this limbo space. We saw the clock advance to 11:03 in today's episode.

We still know very little about the original timeline, including how Great and Tyme got involved the first time around and what happened with their relationship there that might inspire the desire for a fresh start.

Re: the cold opens with Tonkla and the murders, I do not think we're being shown those events in chronological order given Title was still alive in today's open.

Speaking of, only a brief appearance in the open from Tonkla before he sat the rest of this episode out. Interesting after several weeks of him dominating the story.

I am still trying to make sense of the way this romance is advancing in the redo timeline, and it only works if both Great and Tyme are in this 4 minutes limbo together and coming with pre-existing knowledge of and inclination to trust each other. Otherwise, their instant closeness and partnership in this situation with Great's family really doesn't make sense. Why would Tyme tell Great everything and trust him to handle his family after just meeting him and having sex one time? That goes beyond straining credibility unless he is also reliving things.

The smartest thing Tyme could have done was to take that bribe money and run. If he wanted to be decent, he'd have given Nan a cut and helped her run, too. But he seems preoccupied with Great in a way that doesn't really track unless he also knows him already.

Speaking of Nan, that poor woman has been through it. I was yelling at Tyme when he told her nothing and expected her to just accept that he was not going to take action. As fucking if, dude.

The rewind/do over in this episode felt different than the others. When Great went back, he didn't actually relive the same scene, he and the shooter were just suddenly in different positions. And all he accomplished was getting himself shot along with his mom.

I liked the way the lady from the initial accident came back around this episode to cause that, BUT it also just opens up more questions about the timelines because if she died in the original timeline, she would not have been able to set up a hit on Great's family. So, did saving her cause new bad shit? Did Great's mom also die in the original timeline, but differently? And will anything that happens in the redo actually stick?

We saw in this episode that when Korn is actually in trouble he goes to Fasai, not Tonkla. I get the sense that he has been with Fasai for years and likely the entire time he's been messing around with Tonkla; I was not surprised that she's always known. They are not a love match but they need things from each other. He never intended to be with Tonkla for real.

By the way, I was dying at Korn's little motivational speech to Great. He has to help his father do evil shit so their family can "survive." Survive what? Not being filthy rich, I guess. Great's mom was similarly desperate to cling to the status and wealth she clawed and scraped for. Nobody in this family has any true morality.

And yet I find it weird that they are letting Great run around causing a ruckus and not putting a stop to it or even punishing him. He is remarkably spoiled and pampered compared to Korn. Is this their dad's feelings about his two wives being acted out on his sons? If so, why does Great hate his dad so much?

LET'S TALK ABOUT THE FINAL SCENE. As Tyme was running through the tunnel, lights flickering around him, there were bruises appearing and then disappearing on his face. Are we seeing his NDE??

This show is still so much fun to watch and think about even if I am scratching my head at some of what happens.

[picklepie888]

Dracula Mischaracterization Drinking Game

Sit down and watch the Dracula adaptation(s) of your choice, and take a drink anytime these common mischaracterizations occur.

Jonathan

Is combined with Renfield

Dies at the beginning

Is made into a generic male hero

Is a toxic partner to Mina

Barely has any presence at all

Never goes to Transylvania

Is made to be aggresive and "manly"

Mina

Is Dracula's love interest/reincarnated wife

Is indifferent to or hates Jonathan and/or Lucy

Is made into a one-note damsel in distress

Has none of her original intelligence

Is only there as "moral support" for the men

Is a prize to be won by the men

Is swapped with Lucy

Is married to someone other than Jonathan

Dies as a vampire or remains a vampire in the end

Dumps Jonathan for Dracula

Consented to the "Baptisim of Blood"

Jack

Is an old man/same age as Van Helsing

Is Mina's and/or Lucy's father

Isn't friends with Van Helsing or the rest of the Suitor Squad

Is the only present member of the Suitor Squad

Only there to be Lucy's doctor and has no emotional connection to her

Does all the research and work that Mina actually did in the original story

Van Helsing

Is way older or way younger than his original age

Is a badass action hero vampire hunter

Comes from/started a bloodline of famous vampire hunters

Is the only character other than Dracula from the book

Has a first name other than "Abraham"

Has supernatural powers

Is a woman/combined with Sister Agatha

Is the only one who knows Dracula is a vampire and has to prove it to everyone else

Is the one to kill Dracula

Is not Dutch in the slightest

Quincey

Is straight up nonexistent

Is combined with Arthur

Has so little relevancy he might as well not be there

Is British, or anything other than American/Texan

Is a shallow or douchey lover to Lucy

Has a futuristic descendent with more plot relevance than himself

Arthur

Is straight up nonexistent

Is combined with Jack, or Quincey, or Jonathan, or any combination of those

Doesn't contribute or is entirely absent in the staking vampire!Lucy scene

Is Lucy's or Mina's brother

Is a spoiled rich boy who barely contributes to the plot

Lucy

Is swapped/combined with Mina

Is Mina's sister

Is shallow/slutty/bitchy

Is a toxic friend to Mina/secretly hates her

Is framed by the narrative as deserving of her death at the hands of Dracula

Literally asked/invited Dracula to drain from her

Her plotline is ignored/never resolved

Is staked by someone other than Arthur

Is engaged/married to someone other than Arthur

Is actually canonically queer, but she still gets killed

Renfield

Is combined with Jonathan/goes to Transylvania instead of Jonathan

Is the secondary villain/straight up evil

Is way older or way younger than his original age

Remains loyal to Dracula throughout the whole story and never fights/turns on him

Never interacts with Mina

Is shown as "sane" at the beginning

Becomes a vampire at some point

The narrative tries to justify his mistreatment at the hands of Jack

Dracula

Is not "evil," just """misunderstood"""

Is actually the protagonist

His first name is Vlad

Appears and regularly interacts with the other characters throught the story

Is young/handsome/suave

Is here to "liberate" Mina from her "toxic"/"boring" husband

Is combined with Vlad the Impaler/some historical figure

Is obsessed with Mina specifically

Has all queer undertones stripped from him

Is not Romanian/his actor makes no attempt to sound Romanian

Is basically just a characature of Bela Logosi

Only kills the characters who "deserved" to die

Is hurt/killed by exposure to sunlight

Is Van Helsing's arch nemesis

Is friends with Frankenstein's monster

Never turns into anything other than a bat

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

girls just wanna have fun 4

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as age gap, manipulation, blackmail, noncon/dubcon, coercion, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: your struggle to push back against your controlling father result in a misguided crush. (Silverfox AU)

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson

Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself

Bucky emerges with a tray and you try not to break your cool demeanour. You don’t want to try too hard. You hear him before you see him, grumbling at Sam who as always, won’t shut up. 

Shelby’s bottle is already empty as she squeezes it between her hands. She sits upright on a chair, teetering on the edge as if she might flee. You wish she’d chill out. As Bucky puts down the tray, you sit up, letting the towel catch on the chair and pull down from your chest. 

“Mm, looks yummy,” you say, trying to look at the chocolate marshmallows and not Bucky. 

You ignore Sam’s scoff as Bucky faces you. You grab the towel and stand, “oops.” 

You open it before you readjust it, showing off your red bathing suit and how little it covers. You notice Bucky look but his reaction is less than you want. He looks away whereas Sam lets his tongue poke out like some stupid horny frat boy.

You roll your eyes and knot the towel firmly. You grab your bottle and drain it, catching up to Shelby as she lingers at the edge of the scene. 

“Another?” Sam offers. 

“Sam,” Bucky hisses. 

“What? Those things aren’t that strong. They're all sugar,” Sam is already reaching into the cooler, another grunt from his stoic friend. “Come on, ladies, help yourself to something sweet.” 

You hesitate and Shelby gulps loudly. 

“The smores,” Sam chuckles and offers both you and your friend a new drink.  

You take yours but give Shelby a long look as she accepts hers. She’s only supposed to be moral support, you can’t send her home blitzed. Oh well, your dad won’t care if she stays over. 

“More for me,” Bucky shrugs and turns his attention to the tray. 

Shelby peers over at you. She’s always waited for you to take the lead and you always did so reluctantly. Not anymore. You’re a woman and you’re making this world what you want. She could take a lesson or two. You take a drink then set your bottle down. 

You come up next to Bucky as he skewers a marshmallow and you do the same. He’s orderly in how he has his little sandwich. The graham crackers are placed neatly side by side and chocolate on top of one, waiting. 

“Did you fix your hose?” You ask, mustering some small talk that makes you want to cringe. 

He doesn’t answer right away. You poke a skewer through a marshmallow and he shrugs, “need a new one.” 

You repress a sigh as he goes to the fire. You hear Sam laughing. You look back but you can’t tell if it’s aimed at you or Shelby as he stands across from her. Oh well. 

You follow Bucky and put your marshmallow over the fire with him. 

“Like I said, you can borrow ours,” you smile. 

“Mm, should I ask your dad?” He challenges as he looks at you from the corner of his eye. 

“I’m an adult, it’s my house too,” you insist. 

“And he’s okay with you being here?” 

“Wow, you know, you’re sounding a lot like him. You two might get along if you tried.” 

“Hm,” he hums and retracts his skewer, “you weren’t always this mouthy.” 

He leaves you by the fire, stunned. You look over your shoulder and pull back the stick, your marshmallow a flame. You blow it out and hurry over to the table. You scramble to make your own sandwich as your host perfectly slides his marshmallow onto the chocolate. Your own is a skew and you burn yourself trying to get the marshmallow off the skewer. 

“Shoulda done that first,” he shakes his head. 

You give him a look. He is quickly breaking the fantasy. You don’t need another father, you need to fuck. Or at least, think about fucking. Ugh, this is a disaster. 

“Thanks, I’ll do better next time,” you smile again. His cheek ticks. 

He takes his sandwich and backs off. You look at yours. You don’t want it. You grab a napkin and put it under the melting stack and carry if over to Shelby. Sam is getting closer, looming over her. 

“Hey, Shel, I made you one,” you offer her the sticky mess. 

“Mm, definitely not the culinary type, are you?” Sam scoffs, “won’t make a housewife of you.” 

“It’s a smore,” you say defensively as you hand over the sandwich. 

“The top is cracked.” 

“Yeah, and? It’ll just break when she bites into it,” you put your hands on your hips as you face him, “like, mind your own business or whatever.” 

He chuckles, “God, you girls are fun.” Shelby slumps further down as Sam’s gross leer dips down in her direction, “not too late for a swim, you girls could come for a dip.” 

Shelby doesn’t say anything and you push your shoulders straight. You can tell she’s uncomfortable and you can only assume what he’s been saying to her. You expected as much but in the moment, you’re not so alright with it all. 

“She doesn’t have a suit and the water’s cold,” you deflect, “but thanks. You’re welcome to go dive in by yourself.” 

“Oh, I can do whatever I want,” he rebuffs, “but I know what you’re looking for, huh? You just wanna see me take my shirt off. All you have to do is ask, baby.” 

He peels off his tee shirts and your grimace. You look at Shelby as she holds the uneaten smore and her half-empty bottle. Oof, slow down, girl. 

You look back at Sam as he puffs his chest out. Ugh, this isn’t supposed to be about him. You look over as Bucky sits on the foot of a lounger and nibbles on his smore, staring into the fire. The flicker casts his features just perfectly. Goddamnit! 

“No one wants to see it--” 

“I know exactly what you want, baby,” he growls and steps closer. You can't deny that his chest is nice, even for his age. He still has a good amount of muscle, though a touch of softness in his stomach. “Don’t worry, I can handle two at a time. She’s kinda sexy, you know? That t-shirt with the turtles is getting me going--” 

You shove him, slapping his chest. That is not alright. Not just him, but you. You shouldn’t have brought her here. You might know what you’re getting into but she didn’t. You’re a lousy friend. 

“Come on, Shelby, let’s go home before my dad gets back.” 

“Oh, yes, run home, but daddy’s right here,” Sam taunts.  

You roll your eyes and wave at Shelby, “come on.” 

“Can I keep the smore?” She asks. She’s tipsy. 

“Sure,” you grab her elbow and take the bottle away from her. You give it to Sam and send him one last scowl. You turn and lift a hand, “bye, Mr. Barnes, see you around.” 

“Baby, you know I can get you what you really want. Just think about what I said,” Sam intones as he steps closer. 

You elbow him away and drag Shelby up the lawn muttering. Fuck. That was so stupid. What a fucking dud. You let yourself through the gate and circle around to your house. 

When you get Shelby through the front door, she has marshmallow and chocolate stuck around her lips. She chews a mouthful as she falls onto the bench by the shoe mat. 

“I’m sorry,” you lean against the wall across from her. She just munches. “I shouldn’t have taken you over there.” 

She looks at you and nods. She’s sleepy. She’s not going to forget any of this and even if she did, you won’t. 

“You don’t get it, Shel,” you push away from the wall and sit next to her. “I don’t know but I just... need to break out. I need something,” you put your elbows on your legs, “it’s not fair to bring you into it but I swear, Shel, by the end of the summer, I am going to fuck Mr. Barnes.” 

“What?” She croaks and chokes down her last bite. “You--” 

“It’s all I think about. I don’t know, I’m so fucking horny all the time. It’s like one day I just woke up and had this need--” 

“Oh?” Her eyes widen again. 

“Don’t look at me like that. Tell me you never got any sort of... urges.” 

“Well, yeah, I guess, but I just... deal with them. Play some switch and forget,” she shrugs, trying to wipe the stickiness from her mouth drunkenly. She seems so childish in tweaks doubt in your chest. Are you out of your depth? 

“I mean it, you know? I’m sorry,” you sit up and lean your head back. “I’m a shitty fucking friend.” 

“Mm,” she hums, “tonight you were, but not always.” 

You smile softly, “how about you kick my ass at some MarioKart?” 

[tocomplainfriend]

I wonder how Hazbin will treat religion, I wanted to talk about Morel Orel.

If you don't know, Is about Orel a kid how tries to follow the religious (fundamentalist Protestant Christian) teachings. But always takes it too far, and makes a mess. The series is really more rough and heavy that you would guess. I don't think is perfect, I hate episode 2 from season 1. But I really like how they treat the topic. If you are going to watch it, keep in mind: Season 1 is really unserious until the later. But it was done on purpose - the ending of the season it hits! Season 2 and 3 is really serious and heavier. -and takes its time to explore the characters and the problems going on in the town.

The end of the series pretty much resumes the point the series is trying to make about religion. During the hole series, the biggest problem is Clay (Orel's Dad) and how he is. In the series is the one, two tell Orel incorrect lessons based on religion and stuff. After all of that, the last episode shows Orel years later as a father. -And he is loving and the nice person he has always tried to be. You can see in the photo, he still is religious to despise everything. The problem really wasn't believing in god, but how people did bad things upon it.

Also, just to mention this scene! At the end of season 1, where things get serious. After many fights between his parents, Orel ignores them, misunderstanding the gravity of the situation. But by the ending of the episode he realizes the problem but yet he says; "But you still 2 minutes left, I got faith in you". He prays to God to fix the situation in the two minutes that he got left of Christmas. In complete silence, the camera goes away in to the sky. Orel waits for a response of God, but gets none......

I don't think Orel Morel is perfect, but I really like it, and it has a lot better writing that Helluva!

Hazbin is pretty different cause it takes place directly in hell and heaven. Instead of looking at the brainwashing as a critique or even the acknowledgment of religious people who are good? I really hope they don't fully fall into the Heaven is 100 percent bad and alt eat try for a gray moral. I wonder how they will treat all this stuff.

+one joke I liked in the series:

Orel does a little clay animation movie and shows it to people in town, but another kid presents it instead, who understand what's going on more than him. -and also accidentally showing many others that his dad beats him with a belt.

"Orel: Joe completely change the meaning of everything I wrote.... Doughy: Gosh Orel that too bad! Orel: Yeah, I guess certain things gets misinterpreted. Doughy: Like what? Orel: Hmm... not sure!" then he scratches his face, with the bible.

Hopefully it won't be that bad, right?

[arizonaraine]

Sorting Hat Chats: Gladiator

I. Freaking. Love. This. Movie. Is it historically accurate? Not especially. Is the story fairly simple? Yes, but there's a difference between a SIMPLE story and a SIMPLISTIC one. The performances are top notch, the music, the costumes... *chef's kiss.*

So, without further ado...

Maximus is a Badger primary. He recognizes the humanity in the Germanic tribes-- "would you (know you're beaten), Quintus? Would I?" He's a great general, but his heart is at home with his family. After the first battle, he spends time among the wounded and is upset when it is suggested that they "died for nothing." He's deeply loyal to the memory Marcus Aurelius. Wherever Maximus goes, he collects people (Juba, Proximo, the German, Lucius) by being kind when he doesn't necessarily need to be. He inspires loyalty and goodness in others just by being who he is.

In true protagonist style, Maximus is a Lion secondary. There's no pretending with him-- if Maximus feels something is wrong, he won't do it. "With all my heart, no," he says to Marcus Aurelius when he initially refusing to become protector of Rome-- it's a gut reaction. He will not salute Commodus; he turns his back on him. Though he shows some Bird-like strategizing in battle, to me, it reads as an intuitive grasp of going on-- the art of reacting to things rather than planning for them. Even his habit of feeling the earth before going into battle screams Lion: it's a tactile, grounding, in-the-moment exercise.

Lucilla is a Snake primary. She cares about Rome, she cares about her father's memory, she cares about Maximus-- but at the end of the day, she will prioritize her son's safety ahead of everyone and everything else. (Side note: I think that Ridley Scott writes Snake women a lot-- Lucilla and Sybilla from Kingdom of Heaven are pretty much the same character). There's room to argue for more depth here, but I feel that her primary is pretty straightforward.

I read Lucilla as a Bird secondary. She's strategic where Maximus is not. She makes practical decisions, lays plans, and collects information behind the scenes. She also seems to use a bit of a Snake secondary model-- or maybe it's her Bird secondary in an "Actor Bird" form. She knows how to play Commodus, and tries something similar with Maximus-- a little flirty, a little coy-- and drops it the minute she sees it's not working with him.

Commodus is also a Snake primary, but an Exploded one. His whole worldview and perception of himself is wrapped up in a handful of people. He's desperate for his father's approval, even after he kills him (there's a scene in the director's cut with Commodus destroying a bust of Marcus Aurelius, then hugging/clinging to the ruins). All Commodus wants to be loved by his father, his sister, and the people of Rome. With the latter, he compares himself to a father and the people to children. He wants to give them the love he feels he was denied. But his idea of love is destructive to his wellbeing and the wellbeing of those around him. In the end, it gets him killed in the arena-- defeated by his own need for the crowd's approval.

Commodus is a Lion secondary with absolutely no impulse control. His father rejects him? Kill him. Maximus defies him? Try to kill him. His one strategic success comes when he accepts the counsel of a senator to "let (his enemies) come... and nibble." Challenging Maximus-- a GENERAL with YEARS OF EXPERIENCE-- to fight him in the arena is a terrible idea, but Commodus does it anyway.

Marcus Aurelius doesn't get as much screen time as I wish he did (RIP, Richard Harris). He's our lone Bird primary. He's THE Philosopher. He has carefully constructed his worldview, weighed his options, and decided on a course of action. He believes that Commodus is "not a moral man" because he lacks the virtues that Marcus Aurelius values: wisdom, justice, fortitude, and temperance. His choice to make Maximus the protector of Rome is careful and deliberate-- he's observed Maximus in many situations and knows that he does not desire power. That's why it must be Maximus. It's perfectly logical to him, and he believes that he can explain it to any reasonable person (unfortunately, Commodus is far from reasonable). Marcus Aurelius forever puts first the idea of Rome: it is his bright, shining TRUTH.

He's also a Bird secondary: the man writes like nobody's business. He's a deep thinker, a strategist, a collector of maps and other odds and ends to put in his toolkit.

I read Proximo as a Glory Hound Lion. He was once a gladiator himself, and you can feel it in his speeches about the crowd: even though he knows that fame is a fickle mistress, he loves the adulation, the money, being a star. He misses it. He believes that he and his men belong in the Colosseum. Before they go in to fight, he fills them up with his vision of glory.

I think that he's a Snake secondary. He can be charming, he can be adaptable. He plays people off each other to get the best price. He was "the best" in the arena because he "won the crowd." But he knows how and when to cut his loses and go blunt. He describes himself as "an entertainer."

Bonus! I see Juba as a Double Badger. He tends to Maximus's wound even before they become friends. He relies on memories of his people and traditions when things are at their bleakest. He offers encouragement in his own quiet, wise way. Some of the best lines in the movie are his, IMO: "I will see you again. But not yet. Not yet," and "you have a great name. He must kill your name before he kills you."

TL;DR:

Maximus: Badger Primary, Lion Secondary ("The Protagonist")

Lucilla: Snake Primary, Bird Secondary, possible Snake secondary model ("The Villain/the Mastermind")

Commodus: Snake Primary, Lion Secondary ("The Lancelot")

Marcus Aurelius: Bird Primary, Bird Secondary ("The Scientist")

Proximo: Lion Primary, Snake Secondary ("The Robin Hood")

Juba: Badger Primary, Badger Secondary ("The Peacemaker")

(archetype titles ala @wisteria-lodge:))

[pinazee]

And down the stretch comes murder

I wanted to take this moment to highlight the adorable child actors they got- Liam James and Carlos McCullers II. They are so perfectly cast as Shawn and Gus and they do such an amazing job! Im so impressed by them 👏👏

The whole spitball incident really highlights the differences between Shawn and Gus’ ethics. Shawn feels guilty for thinking he got the wrong spitter and ruined Jimmys life while Gus actually did it and feels no remorse at all. Perhaps it’s because Jimmy tortured Gus more, but it’s also come up a few other times i believe, that Gus is not above revenge nor is always willing to do the right thing if it interferes with his safety or his own code of justice, whereas with Shawn it’s like he can’t rest until he’s made things right. This, in addition to the ways he looks out for people (helping Lassie solve a case without him knowing, helping juliet find some kids without getting paid, standing between Gus and a gun), I think is why i tend to be more drawn to Shawn. I love tender-hearted morally just characters. Im not saying he’s always riding the high horse (pun intended), simply that at the end of the day you know he’s going to do the right thing. Don’t get me wrong, i love a morally ambiguous character too, and if I’m honest Gus’s outlook is certainly more realistic, but if i had to pick a favorite, i want the reliably good and wholesome over the self-serving. Not that im saying Gus is selfish at all, but of the two Shawns more our hero, even compared to his own cop father. I think Juliet is the only one who comes closest to matching that above and beyond heroism. I think the only reason she’s a step below is because Shawn simply notices others more. Thats all. If Juliet had Shawns abilities she’d be just as on top of it as him, probably more so. Actually she might get overwhelmed by seeing it all and not being able to help everyone. I think it’d be really hard for her to ignore sometimes. Which, okay I’m going down a tangent, but do you think Shawn had to learn to shut it off sometimes or like, learn to walk away? Cause i imagine day to day Shawn’s seeing people dealing with grief, abuse, or pain and with as kind as he is, it must be hard for him to ignore. Like if you’ve ever seen Daredevil, I’m imagining a less dramatic version of that haha

Henry will take any opportunity to point out Shawns failings or try to make him feel less than. Shawn tells him he’s there for a case and instead of asking him about it, Henry goes right back into you never could be a good handicapper because you lack the patience and follow-through it takes to put the time in and research. Also, the line “i let him talk to me” just doesn’t sit right with me even if the guy did turn out to be a skeeve. This kind of stuff makes me think Shawn either learned how to respect people from his mother or refused to treat people like his father. Probably both, though i hate to give her credit for anything haha

Look at his smile when he sees Lassie feed the horse. He’s so warmly amused by him. I wasn’t a Shassie shipper originally (as i just didn’t ship ppl in ye olden days) but i think I am now. I see it guys, I get it haha

These scenes are what makes the episode for me! I love them! We get to see both Shawns interacting and how he utilizes his vast memory, taking a peak into his mind palace so to speak. Plus he literally answered that common question of if you could go back in time what would you tell your younger self? (“Think big!”) I know they never really intended for this to be like a deep scene (nor expected certain fans to overanalyze it haha) but i like how he approaches the kid version of himself with a certain degree of amusement. Like I imagine if i was seeing my young self I’d probably be rolling my eyes at my sheer stupidity, but Shawns a lot kinder to himself haha Also little Shawns line “I thought I’d be bald by 20” was fucking gold! I wish I had better words for why this works so well but all i have is that it does and its brilliant.

Nice try Psych, your Canada is showing ;)

Heres some completely irrelevant info. The difference between a dreamcicle and a creamcicle: both are orange flavored, but dreamsicles had an ice milk center while a creamsicle was ice cream. And dreamsicles are no longer made.

I like this addition to the background. Its so cute. (Sidenote: this screenshot makes it seem like Shawn is the babyfaced assassin)

P.S This is the second episode ive seen him hold this frog. That is all.

[bitter-sweet-farmgirl]

Loyalty, Honour, A Willing Heart (Prt. 4)

4. Erebor

Bilbo has awakened Smaug in Erebor, and they’re all waiting outside, and can hear rumblings.  Ori’s like, “we should go in after him”, or “I think he’s in trouble”, and Thorin just sighs (very anxious, reminds me of myself when I'm trying to make hard decisions really fast or am preoccupied with something else) “Just give him more time.” 

Balin turns on him because that’s a very like un-Thorin-like thing to say or do essentially.  He’s like ‘this isn’t you.’  He challenges Thorin.  “Time to do what?  Be killed?”

Thorin isn’t happy with that challenge.  “You’re afraid.”  He instantly accuses Balin, and the look on his face is absolutely brilliant.  He has this look on his face that is just wide-eyed and like he cannot believe that Balin would ask him something like that.  Which, given that Balin is his advisor, he has every right to ask him something like that.  He probably has on numerous occasions.

That moment right there is where Thorin is no longer Thorin.  That is the turning point.  That moment right there.  That is where he flips from Thorin—regular Thorin—to dragon-sickness Thorin.

He grew up watching his grandfather.  He watched Thror fall into the madness of the gold-sickness. 

And we see that in the beginning of the movie in the scene where Thror is down in the treasury counting all his coins and what not and we cut to Thorin who’s up on one of the balconies watching him, and the expression on his face.  It just absolutely kills me.  Because he looks SO SAD to see his grandfather in that sort of madness.  He is absolutely devastated that his grandfather has fallen to that.

So, when we’re actually at Erebor, and Balin has said that “Yes, I am afraid.  I fear for you.  A sickness lies upon that treasure horde.  A sickness which drove your grandfather mad.”

That brings up a situation for Thorin.  I hypothesis the reason that Thorin instantly says “you’re afraid”, is because that is what he is thinking himself.  He is wrestling with fear right in that moment, and unconsciously signals that by what he says to Balin.

Thorin has never allowed himself to be scared.  That was never an option for him.  He has always been the leader of his people, in some way or form as the crown prince and then after his grandfather and father passed, he has had to be the strong one. 

He cannot show that he is unsure or is scared.  That has never been an option for him.  Also, going along with that, he knows that his family is prone to madness like that after his grandfather and father both ended up falling to madness in different ways.

So he probably spends his entire life and even more so as he gets closer to Erebor, worrying about that same thing happening to him.  It is a self-fulfilling prophecy, because if I was in his shoes, and I was worried about that, then the closer I got to Erebor, it would consume my thoughts, and I would be thinking of, “is this me being weird, is that a sign of madness?”  I would constantly be on the watch for that, and that would drive me mad.  He worries so much about becoming his grandfather, that he actually becomes his grandfather.

His next line of dialogue proves that.  “I am not my grandfather.”  Those are words I think he has repeated to himself SO MANY TIMES over the course of his life.

Balin has spent so much time with Thorin and knows him so well, which is why he instantly clocks onto the miniscule shift in Thorin.  “You’re not yourself.  The Thorin I know would not hesitate to go in there.” 

This ties back into all the other scenes we’ve visited where we are shown time and time again that Thorin cares so much for his people.  He literally cannot abandon someone.  He looks out for the little people.  So his refusal to go check on Bilbo goes so far against his morals that it is obvious that he is not in his right mind.

And his last line of dialogue proves that to the core.  “I will not risk this quest for the life of one burglar.” 

Now, I took one for the team and checked what Thorin called Bilbo during the quest. I stopped my tally after reaching the above dialogue sequence, as what comes after isn't as important. The tally is as follows:

Bilbo: 0

Master Baggins: 4

Burglar: 3 (broken down into 'your burglar' to Gandalf after the troll escapade, 'Master Burglar' once they are in Erebor and he's afflicted by the dragon-sickness, and lastly, 'burglar' in the above dialogue sequence).

Hobbit (in any variation): 3 (Halfling being one of the three)

Mr. Baggins: 1

So in an overwhelming majority, Master Baggins is Thorin's default method of addressing Bilbo. He only actually ever calls him 'burglar' to his face once he is afflicted with the dragon-sickness, or in some way annoyed (as we see with the trolls).

So, Thorin has always been fairly polite to Bilbo. Something I think is very important to note is that never has this quest been more important than someone's life.

It was made very clear at the beginning that every member of the company joined of their free will.  They chose to follow Thorin on this suicide mission because they believed in him and his cause. 

And again, that suspicion that Thorin doesn't normally address Bilbo as 'burglar' is confirmed by Balin’s final line of dialogue.  “Bilbo.  His name is Bilbo.”

[sarabethsilver]

I just want to say that I love your posts about the whole Luke/Jess dynamic!! In my opinion, you are spot on everything.👏

Because yes, Luke was a good father to April and a good father figure to Rory but that doesn't mean that he was that to Jess too…in fact I will say that most of the time he was a complete jerk to Jess by often yelling and being angry at him (there are very few episodes where Luke speaks with a normal tone to him), treating him like a criminal, never showing him any love and comfort, being occasionally physical abusive to him, stealing his car, kicking him out when he actually needed him the most and caring more about him (not) graduating than his feelings about meeting his father, sending him back to NY knowing that Liz “is a wack job”, not caring that “he travelled” aka was homeless for months and had to sleep in a car-and he cared more about Rory than about his nephew in that situation, not listening to him the few times he actually is open to speak about how he feels. On top of that, ignoring that, HE kicked Jess out.

And then blaming, yelling, and insulting him because he didn't want to go to his abuser’s fourth wedding.

Like, I’m not saying that Luke didn't love Jess, because yes, he did, but he wasn't good at showing it. And I understand that he also had traumatic experiences, and didn’t know how to handle a teenager, but in the end, he was just one more adult that rejected Jess. That’s why I don’t understand when people say: “Luke was the only one that was always there for Jess” or “Jess has to be thankful for Luke” like NO just because he let him live in an apartment where he had zero privacy doesn't mean that “he was always there for him,“ especially when he remembered Jess that he can only live there if he graduates. Even without the Walmart job, there is no guarantee that a traumatized teenager will graduate. I really hate how the writers want us to believe that Luke was such a hero here. And yes, I like that “hug scene,“ but Jess deserved and needed that hug so much sooner, and he never got it.

With that being said, I still enjoy their dynamic when I need a good laugh, seeing them both ranting, annoyed with people, being sarcastic. There are many good moments, and when I remember that these are all fictional characters😅 but if we are overanalyzing everything, I have to say that the older I get, the more I struggle with the character of Luke in his behavior towards Jess. 

Thank you! I appreciate this feedback, since I'm always trying (and failing) to tread lightly when I critically examine their relationship. Luke is beloved here, and I get it! I love him too! I enjoy Luke and Jess' relationship on a superficial level. I laugh at their funny moments, and my heart swells at their tender moments. But as soon as I look a little deeper, their relationship looks pretty fractured to me.

I get it, Luke was thrust into an impossible scenario when Jess showed up. I don't fault him for making mistakes along the way. But forget the complexities of "how do you build trust with a teenager who has never been able to trust adults"... Luke never even gets there. What about the basics? Jess needed kindness, safety, and stability. And he just doesn't get that from Luke. Constantly yelling, pushing Jess around, repeatedly mocking, threatening eviction, and then actually kicking Jess out isn't kind, safe, or secure. And those behaviors aren't the outliers - that's Luke's baseline behavior toward Jess. The moments of kindness are the rarities, and those moments are often surrounded with mocking or rejection.

S4 is, by far, the worst. Because at that point, Jess is no longer living with Luke. He's not disrupting Luke's daily life. He's not asking Luke for ANYTHING. But for some reason, Luke goes out of his way to be unkind to Jess... and for what? What's the moral of that story? Because it's CERTAINLY not to have us examine Luke's mistakes with Jess, the writers never go there. Am I meant to believe that Jess needed abandonment, heaps of anger, and continual mocking to... grow, or something? And this is the season I'm supposed to melt at the "reconciliation" between Luke and Jess?

Maybe we're both overanalyzing! Because, like I said, I enjoy their relationship at a superficial level. But also... Luke and Jess are not superficial characters. We see painful, vulnerable moments between them. Jess' arc is serious and evocative, and he's treated like an important character even when he returns as a guest star. So I can't just look at Jess and Luke's relationship on a superficial level. The writers wanted me to see Luke as the "hero" who saved Jess, and they gave me all these moments to supposedly demonstrate that, so I'm sure as hell gonna examine those moments!

EDITED because I'll add that I don't ever view Luke as abusive to Jess. And I think they DO have moments of kindness and comforting. Those are real, and that's what the audience is responding to when we fall in love with them. But imo the moments of kindness are few and far between, and they are not enough to balance out the baseline of irritability Luke puts out there.

[catholic-character-tournament]

Quarter Finals - Catholic Character Tournament

Propaganda below ⬇️

Matt

Matt's faith in the show is really important and well explored; one of the first scenes of the show is Matt going to confession (or, well, talking to his priest since he's not really confessing at that point). Matt struggles a lot with what he's supposed to do; everyone's telling him to kill the villain and he kinda wants to, but he literally says: "I know my soul is damned if I take his life". He struggles with his faith and goes with his doubts to his priest, and it's beautiful—also when he finally gets a costume for his vigilanteing he chooses to dress as the devil, lol. (His priest tells him that nothing makes people run to Church faster than the feeling of having the devil on their heels.)

a lot of the show is about how he justifies his vigilante actions with his faith, and whether he's doing the right thing in trying to help people or just using it as an outlet for his anger. the literal first scene of the show has him in a confession booth talking to his priest (who is a really interesting character too). this is not the scene I was talking about but it's such an excellent scene with matt talking to his priest: https://youtu.be/XHZ3NbEIDdw

canonically catholic but dresses like a demon to be quirky

honestly i dont wanna type too much but i feel that matt is a great example of someone who battles with his faith because he rarely loses his faith but rather fights with why he was made the way he was and put through what he was. He believes himself to have the devil inside him but believes that God put him there

ok in the comics barring the most current run matt has Mostly been a non-practicing Catholic that very rarely actually does any catholic Activities but ends up falling back into the Mindset and very occasionally dramatically taking confession (ex. in that one issue where he takes confession, basically tells the father that he is uniquely terrible and is thinking about violently murdering someone and when the father says "you can be forgiven" hes like "AUGFH-- NO!!!!!!!!!!" and runs out) when he's gone through some shit. and i love that its so relatable

This guy so catholic he spends an ungodly amount of time just chilling in the church. And goes there whenever there is a moral conundrum about killing people being Bad even though it would solve a lot of problems and stop said people from killing other people. This happens every other episode. Matt is the Catholic Guilt Guy. There's actually a lot of catholic stuff in the show as a whole. Just a compilation would be like three whole episodes long.

Hes great hes catholic enough to not outrught murder people but not catholic enough to not fuck before marriage hes a bisexual disaster at all times hes besties with a priest might i add hes great hes my special little guy

his catholicism is a huge piece of his characterisation he was raised by nuns in a catholic orphanage, the first scene we ever see him (as an adult and not a flashback) is him going to confession, he is good friend with his priest and has regular debates with him, etc also in s3 he has a huge crisis of faith after he lost A Lot where he stops believing for a while and it's linked to his identity crisis where he actually wants to kill another person (a hard line he previously chose never to cross) and wants to be only daredevil and not matt murdock, when he is both and needs both to exist also when he was a kid his grandmother used to say "watch out for the murdock boys, they've got the devil in them" and it created a surprising lot of his issues

So he's both catholic in the comics and the show but he's More Catholic in the show. Like, raised in a catholic orphanage by nuns (ONE OF WHICH IS HIS *MOTHER*), second scene in the show has him in a confession box kind. Matt Murdock goes out and gets the shit beaten out of him nightly and also beats the shit out of other people and purposefully leaned into devil iconography as his theme. When his nurse friend says, he takes a lot of punishment without one complaint he says "That part's the Catholicism." It is a Core Aspect of his character (at least in the show). He makes me insane. Also the same chemicals that blinded him created the teenage mutant ninja turtles and everyone should know that.

They went to confession to a priest who they had saved as their costumed counterpart and the guy recognized them by the voice, proving that it's possible and everyone else is just dumb

he takes "i wanna fight god" to new and incredibly violent levels, while also being a sweetheart and a goofball

Actually strictly WILL NOT kill criminals. Goes wayyy out of his way to avoid it. Fights with the Punisher about it. Goes to confession booth after nightly vigilante excursions. Feels so much guilt. "How have you been holding up?" "Like a good Caltholic boy" "that bad huh" - actual conversation with his priest

So Daredevil struggles with his mission as a crime fighter because killing criminals goes against his faith. He makes it a point to not kill criminals, believing that even bad people deserve a second chance. This philosophy puts him at odds against The Punisher, who is a relentless killer. As a Catholic myself, while I love the concept of a morally conflicted superhero, I think the worldbuilding around Daredevil is lacking. If he struggles with violence and killing, why doesn't he pray to warrior saints like Saint Michael, Saint Ignatius of Loyola (a former knight), or Saint Joan of Arc? Why isn't there a community of other Catholics he can turn to for guidance, considering New York City has a sizeable population of Catholics? And why are the churches he goes to always empty? Doesn't he know that the Catholic Church supports the just war theory? I think that would have made his burden more bearable.

He goes to church and confesses to punching people and says "imma do it again can i apologize in advance" and the father dude says "no you're meant to stop now" and Matt says "no" and they do this everyday. I'm not remembering it properly but this is a canon interaction i swear

HELLO HI YES I LOVE HIM AND WILL INFOR DUMP ok so. he is a vigalantty and he got named daredevil and he is an orphan and after the age of 12 was raised in an orphanage at a Catholic church and his therapist is his priest via confession abd. also his mother is a nun he has a whole mental breakdown over god and called Job a pussy because he liked god until he got better and liked god again he said "I'm dearedrvil and not even god can stop that now" and he's so cool

matt is a freakish little babygirl who was raised by nuns and definitely has religious trauma. i hate him so much (affectionately)

he’s literally fucking insane about it i don’t know what to say here. he thinks he’s chosen by god to go on some sort of holy quest to save hell’s kitchen. joan of arc ass.

i already know hes in by default j just wanted to give him a personal shout out i love this angsty catholic dweeb

how practicing he is depends on the run, but in my favorite he is quite literally confessing to a member of the last extant order millitant who happens to be a priest at a church in hells kitchen.

i love him for having the funniest version of a trope i usually hate (person gets into confession booth and asks forgiveness not for what they've done, but for what they're about to do). usually this trope just looks silly to me bc like. the priest would just say "i can't do that" and you would have to either awkwardly explain yourself or just Leave. it's funny when matt does it because fr. lantom is probably like "what are you gonna do???" and matt's like "lol. lmao. 😊 hehehe." anyway we love this angry catholic man who dresses up like the devil to beat people up in hell's kitchen

I'm sure Harrow is lovely and I respect the space lesbians but listen to me. Listen.

Matt Murdock is the Catholic character of all time, and if you make him lose, I am blowing up this website and everyone in it.

He is Catholic. His mother is a nun. He grew up in a catholic orphanage. Half the episodes in the show include him going to confession. When he needs therapy, he talks to his priest. He dresses up as a devil partly because of the Catholicism.

One time he got godly powers on loan from Heimdall (see below), and he did a lot of good with it, and then the second it was over he just... well. Also see below!

This man's every coping mechanism is Catholicism.

Please vote for Matt in the @catholic-character-tournament because he's the best and most realistic representation of what it means to be Catholic. Someone who's been punched and bet and crushed by life but still gets up every day to try. No, he's not a nun like his competition but he's not less devoted because of that. Not everyone is called to service. In the day he works at a defense lawyer to help people. Not for the money but to help people not get screwed over by the law. And at night, he dons a mask and beats up assholes when the law fails them. Is he perfect? No, that's the point. Matt is a broken man who is just trying his best to do well and live like Jesus.

He fully embodies the Catholic doctrine of faith and good works. He has faith in what he's doing even if others challenge him. He believes in forgiveness and repenting even when going up against "the devil."

"The people you murder deserve another chance." ... "No, Frank. To try again, Frank. To try. And if you don't get that, there's something broken in you you can't fix, and you really are a nutjob." "You think God made you a one-man firing squad. But you're wrong. There is goodness in people, even in you. And you're gonna have to kill me, 'cause I'm never gonna stop coming for you, until I take you down."

Daredevil Season 2 Episode 3

He (tries) to love his enemy. He believes in Elektra and Frank and maybe Dex and their ability to change. To be good. And when he can't, Matt refuses to compromise on his morals. While not quite "turning his cheek" he never scoops to their level. Because they don't get to destroy who he is.

Daredevil Season 3 Episode 13

All he does is for the love he has to his neighbors, his community. He loves New York. Not for self-fulfilling needs or for the money or for the fame. He does it because he believes in justice. Because the law was created by humans and is inherently sinful.

"But his competition met God and was disappointed and blah blah"

Daredevil is more grounded (at least the show, maybe less the comics). So now, Matt doesn't met God. But he sure gets mad at him. All of season 3 he angry at God for all the trauma he expired.

"You see, that was me, Sister. I suffered willingly. I gave my, uh... sweat and blood and skin without complaint. Because I too believed I was God's soldier. ( chuckles ) Well, not anymore. I am what I do in the dark now. I bleed only for myself. ( scoffs )" ... "You might hate God right now, but the feeling is not mutual." "No, I don't hate him. I've just seen his true face, is all."

Season 3 episode 1

As a Catholic I don't really want to fight God in a parking lot. Well I do but not in the same way that I've understood (primarily Jewish people but probably other Abrahamic religions) want to fight God in a Denny's parking lot. I want to yell and scream and cry at God and for the feeling to not be mutual. For Him to never stop loving me. As long as I have faith, He will reach out his hand.

Homura

she is a catholic lesbian whose girlfriend became god. she has been through so much.

shes such a lesbian for amdoke

Catholic guilt literally turned her into a demon

she literally watches everyone she knows die over and over and over again just so she can save madoka, the one girl who showed kindness towards her. when madoka ends up basically becoming god in order to stop the cycle of death and violence, homura RIPS AWAY THE HUMAN PART OF HER SOUL so that she can create a world where she and Madoka and their friends can live happily, effectively becoming the devil to madoka’s god

She has so much religious symbolism when it comes to her relationship to Madoka. Madoka is God and Homura becomes Lucifer so that she can save Madoka and give her happiness. She literally rips God from heaven and rewrites reality though. The way she sees her self and shapes reality is through the lense of Catholicism.

most fucked up little catholic girl. we love that for her.

Okay homuras entire fuckin arc is stemmed from the fact she is Catholic. Look at her trying to save Madoka over and over again and suffering for it because she thinks if she suffers enough and works hard enough Madoka will stay. Normal people do not go into time loops willingly. Catholics will.

[tomwambsmilk]

Not enough discussion yet of the Logan-Colin scene. The man who has spent 3 seasons adamantly refusing to acknowledge his own mortality suddenly wants to talk about the afterlife. It's not real, but if IS real then he has some fucking theories.

Logan spends this entire episode wanting someone to tell him he's not that bad a person. Since the beginning of the show, he's used various shields to hold the allegations of moral rot at bay. Everything he's ever done, he's done for his children. This is nothing but cultural blowback, he's being punished for the sins of others. He's a good Catholic boy who couldn't even take off his undershirt in front of his wife. He just knows things about the world, that's how he makes a buck. Each excuse is flimsier than the last. And now, finally, he's out of excuses. The season 3 finale was the moment of truth where he was forced to reveal the kind of man he truly was. He's a man who wants to keep his children close even when it hurts them. He's a man who mocks love and fosters betrayal and whose only goal is to add more billions to his pile. He's a man who poisons everything around him.

And so now here he is, 81, only sycophants at his party. His children aren't here, revealing that he's not the loving father he presented himself as. Mencken isn't here, revealing that he's not as powerful or influential as he used to be (the Raisin would NEVER have snubbed a birthday invite). The Cardinal isn't here, so he can't point to the presence of a churchman as an endorsement of his own righteousness. (Why isn't the Cardinal here? Is it just because he doesn't care, or is there an unsaid moral condemnation involved in that decision?) So he leaves, and he goes to a diner with his "best friend" Colin, a man he pays to be by his side every hour of every day.

On the Succession podcast, Jesse Armstrong talks about Logan's perception of humans as something fundamentally childish. He doesn't know how to exist in the world. He doesn't have the vocabulary to relate to other people. We've spent 3 seasons debating what he considers to be a "real person", and here he reveals that he himself doesn't even know. The only way he can understand other people, the only way he can relate to them, is in economic and business terms. A person is an economic unit, moving through markets. It (and notice he says "it", not "he" or "she" or "they") has dreams and values and goals, but those simply serve to dictate how it moves through those markets. That's true for the random person on the street, but it's also true for himself and his children and everyone at Waystar. The difference is not that other people are economic units and he and his family are not. The difference is that he and his family are much bigger economic units, that make a bigger impact on the markets. They're 100 feet tall, and everyone else is pygmies, and yet being 100 feet tall doesn't make his tuna sandwich taste any better.

(And it's worth noting that when Tom and Shiv finally encounter each other, they use the same kind of economic language to discuss the state of their marriage. Shiv doesn't want to rake up a bunch of bullshit for no profit. Tom asks if she really wants to take a full accounting of all the pain in their marriage. They don't even realize that somewhere along the way they began perceiving each other and their marriage through the same lens that Logan perceives the world. They don't even recognize that they've reduced each other to economic units, moving through various markets searching for some shred of happiness or fulfillment.)

And then finally we come to the question of the afterlife. Logan doesn't believe there is an afterlife. Or does he? Maybe he genuinely doesn't. Maybe he's looked at the world and decided that heaven and hell don't fit into his market-centric worldview. Or maybe, the self-professed "good little Catholic boy" who's upset the Cardinal didn't come to his birthday party knows deep down that if there is an afterlife, he's not going to a good place. Maybe the only shield he has left to defend himself is the idea that there is no heaven and there is no hell, said with all the conviction of a man who fears his own damnation but doesn't see any way to avoid that fate.

And then he comes back to the party and he wants someone to roast him. He's staring down the gun barrel of his own impending death and he needs other people to join him in his glib assessment of his moral failings, to confirm that it's not a big deal, it's just business, his kids just suck and he's a pretty good guy and they all love him. And not a single one of them can. Karl and Frank and Gerri are too afraid of him to try and make light of his faults (in itself a somewhat damning statement). The only person even willing to try is Greg, and sure he has no comedic timing, but the deeper issue is that what's wrong with Logan is simply not funny. It's not lighthearted and glib. It's miserable and sad and lonely, and everyone is afraid of him, and there's no love or camaraderie in anything Greg says. Greg asks him where his children are and the only thing he can do is remind Greg that he, too, has been abandoned by the people who should care about him, that Greg is just as lonely and pathetic and desperately scrambling for connection as he is.

And then finally, we see Logan on the couch, in the middle of the night, watching ATN. Two men are left with life-threatening injuries after a brawl that went too far. A stupid pointless fight from which emerged no victors. Two men far younger than Logan, dying in a hospital. We know nothing about these men. We don't know what kind of legacy they might leave behind. We do know that whatever else they did will be overshadowed by the futility of their deaths. And that's when Logan calls Cyd to tell her that he doesn't like what he sees. It is the truth, but I don't think the root cause is something Cyd can fix.

[murdockmeta]

Matt's Protective Tendencies Regarding Gwen

So, for this post, I want to focus on three moments (cause with that many this is still gonna be too long aha) that stuck out to me on my second read-through. It's important to note these examples because Matt's relationship with Gwen is the closest we get to seeing him caring about anyone or anything.

Matt threatening George Stacy

This one is the most complex of the three. There are many layers to this scene but I think it's telling how Matt makes Gwen the center of the conversation. Also, he resorts to personal attacks on George's ability to protect Gwen and be a good father to her.

Matt does seem controlled in this scene to a certain extent, clearly there with the intention to taunt George, but I think he's... not as controlled as he appears.

This is the first time in the run we've really seen him use a more hands-on approach. So far, he's used legal loopholes, threats, manipulation, and so on. He's dodged (quite literally in some cases) every chance at a physical altercation.

Here, he shows up in relatively casual clothes (another interesting choice. the only time we ever see this.) and he eventually ends up holding George Stacy in a chokehold over the side of a building.

In the previous panel he's in, he's meditating when he's contacted by George. He picked up his phone on the second ring (not the first, despite how obvious the disruption is. hes trying to give the impression of nonchalance). He goes through the efforts of pretending to not know who's calling even though he definitely does.

When we see him again, it appears as though he's only changed his shirt before showing up at George's house. It's not the next day, it's probably not even an hour later. He was waiting for George to call. I'd be tempted to say he was growing impatient.

He starts with cheap attacks on George's morality and his job, petty things. It very quickly escalates.

Frank Castle had recently proven to be quite a threat to Gwen. Castle wants to kill Spider-Woman. Matt is refusing to let that happen. But, he wants George to be the one to make the call.

He's very dedicated to protecting Gwen but he also needs Gwen to trust him a tiny bit. He knows that if he outright kills Frank that Gwen would lose all faith in him. She would drop contact immediately and refuse to work with him again.

Yet, he's so persistent about protecting her, he goes to George to try and get him to do it. Matt wants Frank dead. Out of the equation. He's willing to physically threaten George, to get angry, to show maybe just a little too much of himself. He's trying every personal attack he can. And in his desperation to force George's hand, he reveals a lot about his motives. Even George picks up on this.

George is talking about what he thinks he sees in Matt. He thinks Matt killing Frank outright would show how bad Matt is, how cold and immoral he is, therefore losing Gwen's willingness to work for him. When really, it shows how dedicated and desperate Matt is. Matt cannot-- cannot-- lose Gwen. He needs her because for the first time since he was a child he has the chance to no longer feel alone.

He needs his plan to work. He can't have Frank mess it up but he also can't push Gwen too far away from him. So, he does all of this instead.

This is one of the most interesting goddamn lines in the whole scene. This is in the middle of Matt's attempt to attack George's ability to be a good father, his ability to protect Gwen. In that, Matt lets this slip out.

He's obviously projecting himself onto Gwen. And I also think he projects his relationship with Jack onto George but that's a discussion for another post.

So, does he think he's protecting Gwen from becoming like him? Making the hard decisions so she doesn't have to? He acts like he wants Gwen to become as bad as he does but even Gwen says in the end: he wanted to lose, he wanted to be caught. So...? We know he hates himself. And with the above line, we see the closest Matt ever gets to admitting how he truly feels to someone he lets live.

Gwen's different because Gwen represents a chance for things to go right. Matt needs to protect her because he needs her to succeed.

2. Matt refusing Gwen's apology

I was going to just highlight his first few lines in this panel but the whole thing seemed relevant to this post.

So, when I first read this line, I thought it was borderline out of character. He, of course, can't just refuse her apology, he has to give some self-centered reason why. But, everything he follows up with unintentionally reveals his hand once again.

To Gwen, Matt's reasons sound selfish and cruel. She thinks he just wants to use her, control her. She thinks he's interested in what she can do for him. And, well, he is. But it's never just that.

He wants her safe. He plainly says it. He wants her safe so that he can make sure she's not in danger, to make sure she doesn't die or make any decisions she's going to genuinely regret.

I think Matt's heavy-handedness in regard to Gwen's morality is extremely intentional. You don't change someone's mind about their personal morals by telling them how ridiculous their morals are all day. You don't change their mind by trying to force them to make deals they rather wouldn't. Arguably, that's how you make them stand their ground.

And I think that's what Matt's counting on. He sees it as a win-win, whether Gwen ends up turning evil or not (because if she does then he can finally die). But really... I think he wants her to have a reason to be good. He knows how hard-headed she is, it's one thing he likes about her. So, he knows that antagonizing her will just make her more assured when she comes out on the other side.

If she can stick through to the end and beat him, there's not much that can stop her after that. One important thing about Gwen's development as Spider-Woman is that at the beginning, she doesn't have the strong conviction to do good that 616 Peter has due to his uncle's death.

Peter died in her universe, but it didn't serve the same purpose. She felt guilt over Peter's death, but not the kind that strengthened her morals. It was this crushing guilt that dragged her down, made her lose faith in herself. A lack of confidence like that can quickly lead down a much darker path and we see that in Gwen throughout volume two.

She still needs that push. That final act that'll let her come into her purpose fully. And Matt intends on giving that to her if she's willing to go along with his plan long enough. He crafts himself into a big, bad villain for her. Just so she can be good.

3. Matt protecting Gwen's identity

Matt goes out of his way to make sure Gwen's identity stays safe. He knows her secret identity is important to her. He made sure he tied up his loose ends with Toomes so he wouldn't tell.

The one that's more interesting to me is the fact he didn't even tell his ninja her name. These ninja are assigned to protect her from any harm while they are in a foreign country and an assassin is after Gwen. But Matt doesn't bother giving them her name.

There's not even really a reason for him not to tell them other than him being overly protective of her. It's not like they're going to tell anyone, they're fucking ninja. They're sworn to secrecy out of pure principle.

Yet, Matt doesn't say anything. He could've even used it as a bargaining chip but he doesn't genuinely threaten to reveal her identity even once. Would it have really even affected his plans long term? Her identity is revealed at one point, and he still gets what he wants in the end.

But he never brings it up unless it concerns her identity being revealed in a way that may harm her. He never dangles it in her face. He respects it and protects her.

---

These are just a few moments I wanted to talk about. Honestly, the George Stacy one could've been its own post and I'll probably end up making another about it eventually.

Matt is so multifaceted and he shows that best with the people he dares to form attachments to. The main one being Gwen. The way he treats her is the closest he got to caring about someone. It's the closest we get to seeing what he's really like under all his disguises.

He demands control because he thinks that is the only way to protect the ones he's attached to. He knows, in his particular position, that there really is no other way to go about it. And he doesn't want the people he cares about to like him. He doesn't think he deserves it, really.

He wants Gwen to be better, to do better, so he allows her to hate him so much that she has no choice but to come out stronger in the end.

[dangermousie]

When an episode opens this way, you know things are either go really glorious or really dark. And this drama does both. But before we plunge into horror, it gives the characters this moment of grace. I especially love when you see her hand on his back, next to the wound he got saving her.

And the voiceover, which combines the scene where they are closest with their talking about their most painful, separated time..

The way her eyes shine watching him sleep.

All that tenderness...

And that moment of grace is over as quickly as it came. JH finding out the Crown Prince is refusing to bring back captives - despite his cynicism and his experience, there is something incorrigibly naive about goodness and hope in JH. But also he got to know CP and he thought he could trust him a little. He does not know that CP cannot bring them back because the mad king views those miserable women, farmers and children as some sort of potential rebel army.

And things get worse - when JH gets them back regardless, they are ambushed and most of them are killed or wounded. People who survived captivity in enemy country, killed by their own, on orders of a paranoid madman. (I don't think anyone realized how far the King is gone - CP didn't want them back to save himself; not even he thought the King would order them massacred, and those who did not either die or make it back to China taken for torture and execution.)

The scenes of JH in the torture chambers - that vivid intelligence and strong will at the end of its rope - ouch!

The bit when he's barely conscious but still grabs her ring, my heart!!!

And I love that her ring is what saves him because she sees his slack hand drop it, when he's being taken out as one of the pile of corpses. Their love is their salvation, again.

The way she finds him (the fact she's in the palace in the first place is to look for him), the way she hides among the corpses, smearing herself with his blood, the way she brains the guard. THIS WOMAN IS EVERYTHING!!! (And I love that this time she rescues him.)

But also what a contrast that embrace at the end of the episode - on a pile of bodies, with him brutalized and dying - to the way the episode opened.

That line from Song of Solomon comes to mind: Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame.

Switching gears entirely, I want to talk about the prince and king. I honestly love how upright both the prince and his wife are. She begs him to save himself and not plead for the captives (once he found out they crossed and were killed or taken to be tortured) but while he knows danger, he goes anyway.

And she goes with him. She may not care about his cause, or at least not as much as she cares about him, but she will follow him. (Seems pretty historically accurate for So Hyeon's Crown Princess and ultimately her doom.)

In an episode full of amazing scenes, my favorite is actually none of the rest of them but the scene between Crown Prince and his mad father. The way CP begs and the King cannot understand but suspects him more not just because he's paranoid but because he fundamentally cannot imagine someone caring for peasants (or for anyone not their dear self), not really. He cannot understand his son because they do not inhabit the same moral universe.

The way SH tries, tries SO HARD even as you see him realize his father is unreachable, even as he knows that jeopardizes his own life.

There is no hope there. (And the tragic thing is the King, paranoid and selfish and monstrous as he is, loves his son. He views not executing him as a kind act of love. My God!)

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Meryl, Luida, and Bridging the Gap

This is just a quick little side-note I wanted to make about the similarities between Meryl and Luida that I noticed as I was reading, and how they end up occupying similar, yet complementing roles in the story.

***Disclaimer: I was sick when I wrote this and my head is full of fog lmao. If I have completely left out a word or something... don't even worry about it it's fine.

First off, on a surface level, they both are characterized as capable, intelligent, level-headed women, who are suddenly thrust into leadership positions, with Meryl being assigned the task of tracking down and mitigating the damage caused by Vash the Stampede plus looking out for her new protégé, Milly, and Luida stepping up to take charge of Ship 3 and its residents after Doc's death.

While the demand placed on them both is immense, nonetheless, they are shown to be quite capable of shouldering this kind of responsibility - however, given their intense focus and objective-driven personalities, they actually both get scenes where they are somewhat horrified by their own temporary prioritization of objectives over morality. We see this with Meryl in Trigun Volume 1 when she doesn't react in righteous anger to Badwick threatening his parents and had shut herself off from writing to her own in pursuit of her job, and with Luida when she briefly considers the idea of another July incident to stop Knives. Both think negatively of themselves for this - of course, I'm of the mind that since they are upset with themselves on reflection, this proves the exact opposite, really. I think they both have hearts of gold, they're just under a lot of stress, especially as time goes on. The two of them are human beings who falter, but whose morals ultimately align closely with what Vash wants to see in the world. Really, what the two of them hate most here is the idea of their own inaction or taking the easy way in the face of wrongdoing - a concept that drives them into action going forward.

[ID: Two images from Trigun and Trigun Maximum. The first is from Trigun Volume 1. Over images of trees and Badwick's father, Meryl says "But I... I just stood there and took it all in without even budging. I am such a cold person. I chose this path of blood and tears without thinking about the rest of my life. All I can see is what's right in front of me." Meryl starts to cry as she continues, "Why could I not see... that when I closed myself off to him, something was wrong? I..." She then slaps her cheeks and says "No... never mind!" The second image is from Trigun Maximum Volume 8. A single tear runs down Luida's cheek. Meryl says "Miss Luida...?" Her back turned to Meryl, Luida says "I'm sorry. I... was thinking for a moment. If something like July would happen again... it could stop Knives, but... ... I'm a terrible woman. End ID.]

Both of them also have a connection to Vash's past that gives them a different perspective on him as a person, instead of just an ally - Meryl, of course, gets brain-blasted in Volume 5 with Vash's memories (poor thing), but Luida is also more familiar with him than even a lot of the people on Ship 3, it seems - enough that she calls him out for blaming himself after the attack, clearly used to hearing this from him. She also is the one to clear up at least some of Wolfwood's confusion and uncertainty.

We also get this interesting parallel of them both watching Vash walk away to face Knives, him having rejected their offers of help. It's something that clearly saddens them both, as they watch him fight alone again and again, and wish he wouldn't. Both of them have moments where they feel they can't offer much in the way of assistance, or that their best efforts aren't enough.

[ID: Two images from Trigun and Trigun Maximum. The first is from Trigun Volume 2. Vash, his back turned, runs off into the chaos, a Plant seen above him and the city ahead, as he yells back "Get as far away from here as you can! Get to safety!" Meryl watches him from the door. In the second image, from Trigun Maximum Volume 8, a grainy flashback shows Vash's turned back as he walks away from a young Luida, who is reaching out to him. End ID.]

Of course, we the readers know this isn't true at all! Meryl and Luida do so much over the course of the story.

Interestingly, they don't start off as the ones completely in charge - Meryl works for Bernadelli even if she is in charge of her assignment, and Luida is presumably part of the Council, but the one in charge is initially Doc. But once they do take over - Luida after Doc's death, and Meryl once the world is thrown into ruins and Bernadelli no longer exists - there is a striking difference in the way they act from their predecessors.

Meryl goes from simply following Vash around to taking a self-directed and active role in assisting him however she can - looking for his old belongings and anything else of potential use, asking Marlon to repair his gun, creating a distraction with Milly, and helping the Earth Federation in the final hour with no hesitation.

Luida takes a much more active role in rallying Ship 3 to assist Vash as well. While some of this may simply have been because the stakes were raised much higher after Volume 3, Ship 3, while already a base of support for Vash, was a distant safe haven, kept largely separate from the rest of the world. Up until that point, they had provided Vash with aid, but not fought alongside him, something that clearly bothers Luida on multiple occasions. She decides to change this. She's the one who sets out to help as many of the towns ravaged by the Ark as possible. She rallies the Ship 3 residents for a rescue mission to help Vash. She's the one to step forward and attempt to bring all the leaders around to standing with Vash.

Which brings me to my last comparison point. They're both staunchly supportive of Vash, quick to come to his aid, and quick to defend his character from those who doubt his intent - Luida even sharply calls out her own people for their moment of mistrust after hearing about July. These two know and care about Vash on a more personal level than most - and as we all know, due to his avoidant tendencies, this is not an easy thing to do. Vash is frequently misinterpreted, and these two are often the ones to set the record straight.

[ID: A panel from Trigun Maximum Volume 3. Luida, sternly, says "That's a foolish question. You would know the answer just by looking at the scars on his body. If he had used his true immortality, those scars would not be there. End ID.]

In this way, much like Vash is a bridge between humans and Plants, Meryl and Luida are something of a bridge between humans and Vash.

And they're able to do this because deep down, their ideals align closely with his - they're not just supporting someone they care about; they have a similar desire to see the kind of world he fights for, and they choose to fight for it too.

But while Luida is something of a spokesperson for Vash, reaching out to humanity, it is almost as if Meryl becomes the voice of humanity reaching back, responding to him, and agreeing that not everything in the world is awful; that it is worth believing in the best in others. They need to stand together.

[ID: A panel from Trigun Maximum Volume 14. Meryl, in a spacesuit, with frank determination, says, "Because we decided to stand together. We stand with Vash the Stampede." End ID.]

Meryl is the voice of proof that some people believe in the love and peace he speaks of, and are willing to say it back to him in turn.

Updated on my masterpost - my other book club stuff can be found here!