#joker/original female character

[gotham25052]

Dark Waters

Part 4

The Wave, Gustave Courbet

Contents: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

Author's note, 12/8: I am so excited to share Part 5, but just had a really rough training week with work and need more time for editing. I should get it out sometime this week, and then I will probably be doing additional parts every two weeks, to be on the safe side.

Let's just get into it, I love this week's chapter.

TW: 18+, violence, non-consensual touching

Dark Waters, Part 4

He made darkness his secret place; his pavilion round about him were dark waters and thick clouds of the skies. Psalm 18:11

The air was fresh and cool. Annie was sitting on one of the larger boulders in the stone seawall late at night, watching the endless waves breaking against the rocks. It was windy; a storm was brewing. Summer was quickly giving way to fall. Her hair blew free, tousled by the wind.

Gotham was slowly returning to normal as more and more stores opened, and her work had even come back from its hiatus. Restaurant hours were limited and events were few and far between, but there was plenty to do - she was one of the few employees who had stayed in the city and was available to work. With less events, the job was more tolerable, and she almost appreciated the return to a typical routine. But the break from her income meant that she was even further from being able to pay her bills.

In the city, she could feel a shift. Things were not what they had been. A distrust seemed to float in the air. It was invisible, but everyone knew it was there. The leaders and institutions of Gotham had failed its residents. When the food shortage happened, people had at first expected someone would come and rescue them, but no one did. Batman had not been sited since Dent became mayor, and the police were busy looking for the Joker. People felt abandoned. She didn't feel sadness in the air, though - it was anger.

Life seemed surreal for her after the crisis. She now had a constant reminder of the Joker's attention - two of his men had appeared posted at her door for the last few weeks. When she woke up in the morning after the night the Joker had spent sleeping in her apartment, she had been relieved to find him gone but surprised to see that the men had stayed, lounging in the hallway. The Joker had shrugged off the visit from Benjamin, but it seemed that he had decided to take precautions. Seeing the men made her uneasy every time she left her apartment, but she accepted that there was nothing she could do about their presence.

On the days she worked, just as in the past, what she enjoyed was the commute. She felt somehow freer when she was on a bus or walking in the city, and she often visited her favorite spot for watching the water. She had decided to stop today despite the late hour.

Her thoughts drifted to her work. It was all right at the moment, but she wondered how long Gotham Culinary would stay open in this newly unstable world. The hiatus had been devastating for the business, and the current shortages meant that they were not able to meet clients' exacting tastes at events. The wealthy of Gotham still expected all of the same luxuries as before the crisis, and they felt the company was liable for anything that was missing. She sighed, feeling the weight of the consequences if she were to lose her job. She had such a hard time even getting work in the first place when she had arrived in Gotham. Coming from a closed, isolated community, she had no credit, no job history. She shivered to think of what would happen if she could no longer pay the rent and lost her apartment.

Suddenly she became aware of a strange sensation - she had felt the wind whipping her hair around before, but now it seemed like something was gently pulling on sections of it instead. She felt a presence behind her and quickly turned around to face whatever was there.

She gasped as she recognized the figure - it was the Joker, but without any makeup adorning his face. It was jarring to see him without his mask. The normality of his appearance and the perfect symmetry of his features were out of sync with his fiery eyes, opened slightly too widely as he regarded her shocked expression. The lower half of his face was camouflaged by a thick scarf. But now he smiled and the far corners of his protruding scars peeked out on each side of the plaid material. He wore a simple black jacket, a common style for men in the city.

"I've been here a long time, playing with your hair. You must have been thinking about something… important," he said, the familiar voice out of sync with his present appearance.

He leaned in closer to the side of her face, his scarf falling down slightly and exposing his scarred lips. He looked as if he was telling her a secret that was only between the two of them.

"You know, people will think we're lovers, here on the rocks, watching the water." The words sent a chill down her back, and she looked around, realizing that he was right. Only a few people dotted the seawall on this stormy day, but none of them would have taken a second look at the young man and woman sitting on the rocks close together, talking. She felt like she couldn't catch her breath.

"Why don't you turn around so I can play with your hair again, kitten. We can talk like lovers do." He said it with a sarcasm that gave the words a vicious edge.

She turned back to the water, and he began gathering her hair into a ponytail and letting it go again, pursing his lips and making a "pfff" sound, imitating an explosion, whenever he let her hair down. She could feel his fingers touching her ears and neck as he organized the strands and then let them go again.

Her posture was rigid, on alert. After some time he said, "Why do you come here to the water? Why aren't you at home in your snug little bed?"

She was silent, finding it hard to put anything into words as she tried to comprehend the fact that even here, out in the open, he was still in control. The few people who had been loitering on the rocks were gone now.

He grabbed her hand suddenly, interlacing his fingers with hers as if they were simply holding hands, and she felt the familiar end of the nail file outlined on her index finger. She froze.

"Talk to me, ok?"

She nodded, unable to speak. He let her hand go and she made an attempt to say something. She whispered a breathless "I… come here…"

"That's good, I'll give you time, I have plenty to do to keep me busy," he said soothingly. She was always shocked at how quickly he could change his tone. His voice now was like velvet, and though she knew it was all just a show for him, the false softness of it did somehow comfort her and give her some strength to start talking. He was now combing her hair with his fingers, gently raking them through the wind-blown strands.

She started more audibly, "I like to come here to see the waves. I don't know why. At night… I think I like the way the light plays on the surface. It changes all the time."

"Mm-hmm," he muttered, seemingly distracted by a particularly thick section of hair he was running through his fingers.

She had never tried to put into words what she liked about the black depths of these strange waves, but now it seemed she would have to. "The waves at night, they look so solid, like glass - but they are moving, changing shape all the time. I can't see through them, and yet I know there is so much depth to each of them. It's impossible to measure them. If I were to reach in, I wouldn't be able to even touch the other side of the wave. And then I think about how each of them is only just the surface, the water is a hundred times deeper than the wave. And I guess I get lost in the depth and I feel - kind of - lost and free at the same time. Like I've forgotten about everything that has happened, everything that is on my mind…"

He dropped the strands of hair and leaned in confidentially. "Me too," he said.

She was surprised and turned around to see his face, wondering if his words had any touch of sincerity. His dark brown eyes looked at hers unflinchingly as usual and his face was inscrutable. It was impossible to see his thoughts, with or without the makeup.

"Ok, just relax, you don't need to talk anymore. Let's look at the water."

He continued to play with her hair for some time, and whether it was due to the crashing waves, the exhilaration of the wind, or the simple passage of time, she calmed down and her posture relaxed again. She lost herself in watching the churning surface of the water.

Suddenly she came back into the moment, realizing that her head was now being forced from side to side. He had taken to tightly gathering all of her hair, using it to pull her head to one side, and then the other, as if he were experimenting with how far he could turn it. She said carefully, "I don't think this is what lovers do."

"Some do," he said. But he stopped, pulling his hands away.

"Well, we must come here again sometime, but now I think it's time to go," he said with overdone politeness. She looked around, realizing hours had passed and the first rays of morning sun were creeping over the water on the horizon.

"I'll walk you home," he said, leaving her no room for comment. They climbed up the rocks. He straightened his scarf and took her arm in a courteous manner, but he had a steely grip that she knew would be impossible to break away from. And yet she didn't feel trapped with the autumn wind whipping around her and the open, early-morning street in front of them. It seemed so simple, as if he were meant to be walking beside her here. She struggled with the idea, recognizing that she was next to the most dangerous monster in Gotham - he was pulling the city apart even as they strode calmly together in its streets. She felt some sense of relief as she noticed that he was in fact taking her toward her building.

She marveled at how easily such a character could blend into a crowd by removing the garish paint from his face. Other than being slightly overdressed for the fall weather, he appeared as a completely normal Gothamite strolling along in the early morning hours.

He noticed her studying him. "You know, before long, the mayor will have more of a reason to hide his face than I do." The corners of his scars appeared again above the scarf.

Her stomach dropped. She wasn't sure what he meant, but what would things be like if everything was turned on its head, if there was some kind of change in the power structure of Gotham?

"What are you afraid of?" he said, noticing her apprehension.

She struggled to vocalize what was bothering her.

"If things change… I don't know what will happen. I won't be able to go to work, I won't be able to pay my rent…"

He dropped her arm suddenly, stopping his steady gait to turn and look at her.

"Why do you want to live like that? Wearing yourself out every day to barely survive in this city? Are you happy following the plan - the plan that says you need to work yourself to death and live from day to day? That comforts you?" His voice was choked with anger.

She stepped back, surprised by his sudden outburst. His scarf had come undone while he talked, and she could see his whole face now, filled with frustration.

"Is that what you want, Annie? To be born at that little hospital over there," he gestured into the air in the half-light of morning, "and then they'll put you in the ground in that cemetery over there." He gestured into nothingness on his other side. "That's enough for you? They'll just put you in a box and cover you with dirt."

She looked on silently, his words sinking into her consciousness and bringing up thoughts that had come to her before in moments of exhaustion. What was the purpose of all this? Why did she toil every day, seemingly for nothing? If she had been somewhat comfortable, she might be able to blissfully ignore his words, but her everyday survival was pushed so close to the edge that she couldn't turn away. Society had given her nothing to hide behind. No matter what she did, she realized she could never pay the bills. She felt suffocated, like Sisyphus at the bottom of the mountain looking up at his never-ending task.

She felt the breeze on her face again and came out of her reverie. He was starting to draw attention with his loud voice and animated manner. She became alarmed as she turned to see two police officers rounding the corner.

She said quietly, "bend over toward me." Something in her voice made him obey intuitively. She looped the scarf back around his neck and face, covering his identifiable scars. She pulled him down to sit with her on the apartment steps, and they watched the officers walk by, barely noticing the young woman and the man with the scarf. He raised his eyebrows, and she could tell he was smiling.

"I'll… go now," she said, and walked up the steps to her building. He let her walk away, watching her disappear through the open doorway.

She saw the shipments of food outside her apartment building almost every day now. The supplies sent to Lower Gotham had increased tenfold, even though the situation now was not nearly as dire as it had been. She knew why. She had seen it on the small TV in the lobby of the apartment building, she had heard it replayed on her bus rides - a leaked audio clip of Mayor Dent that must have been captured during a phone call at the beginning of the crisis.

There was the muddled sound of someone explaining that the first food shipment to Lower Gotham had been stolen, and then Harvey Dent's voice, clear as crystal: "What happened to the first shipment? Those rats in Lower Gotham, we can't send anything down there. Cut the shipments to Lower Gotham by half, and there will be less for them to steal." An impatient viciousness in his voice made it sound different from his usual public speeches to the people of Gotham, but it was clear to any listener that it was Dent. No one knew who had captured and leaked the audio, but everyone assumed that the Joker had orchestrated it.

The newspapers had a field day. It seemed that once the crowd began to turn against him, there was no stopping the rising tide of bad publicity. The newspaper headlines became more and more outlandish. "White Knight to White Rat: Harvey Dent's downfall," "Harvey Dented: What the Damage Means for the Next Election," "Public Enemy #1: The Joker or Harvey Dent?"

The Joker had eviscerated Dent's reputation and almost certainly ended his political career. The mayor was already on the hunt for him, and this attack on his career was so personal, so brutal, she recognized that Dent would probably do anything to get his revenge. And the thought made her uncomfortable. She struggled to put her finger on why - if the Joker was back in Arkham, that would remove a dark shadow from her life. But something about it bothered her. Maybe it was her aversion to having her own freedom curtailed that made her hate to see someone as wild and free as the Joker trapped in a padded cell. Maybe that's why she had protected him from the police when she wrapped the scarf around his scarred face. She had trouble understanding her own feelings, but she felt a strong uneasiness when she thought of what a power-hungry politician might do after his hopes for success were dashed.

She had been sitting near the window, running over the recent events in her mind, when one of the men stationed in the hallway opened the door. He was carrying a small, old-fashioned suitcase. He set it down just inside the doorway, his explanation offering few details: "He said to use this stuff and put on the dress by eight." The man returned to the hallway immediately after making the announcement.

She had almost gotten used to the Joker's men standing watch outside her door day and night, but they never communicated with her. Now she seemed to have an assignment and felt anxious as she opened the suitcase. In it was a rolled-up garment bag and hair and makeup products. It looked as if someone had walked into a store and quickly emptied the cosmetics shelves into the open case. Her brow furrowed as she realized that was probably exactly how the products came to be here.

She unzipped the garment bag hesitantly and inside saw a glamorous red dress, sparkling with beads and embroidered sequins. She quickly turned away, fear returning as she realized she would have to wear this in front of the Joker. What was his plan? She doubted he was taking her out on a date. Despite her agitation, the thought almost made her laugh. In this world turned upside down, dressing extravagantly and going out with the Joker seemed somehow less distressing than it did a few weeks ago. It was more a surreal image in her mind and less a blank void of terror.

She really had no choice and began to look through the other items in the bag. Although there was every type of makeup imaginable, there were only a few hair products - a dye kit and shampoo. She accepted that he must mean for her to change her hair color.

As the afternoon wore on into evening, the more she prepared, the more nervous she became. At first it seemed like this must just be a dream or a trick of her imagination. But when she saw herself change as she combed the dark auburn dye into her hair, added makeup, and put on the dress, it became much more real. The dress only made it worse, as it was an off-the-shoulder style with a revealing high slit on one side. It was form-fitting but still seemed slightly too loose on the shoulders. The fit was slightly off, just like her always-askew catering uniforms.

She gave the makeup and hair her best effort, but she knew it wasn't perfect. She wasn't used to dressing this way and only used the most basic makeup when she was assigned to serve guests at the restaurant or at parties. She finally gave up and simply sat down to wait for him to arrive. The weight of the unknown pressed down on her, making her wish she could somehow escape but knowing that she couldn't.

"Let's go!" he said as he entered the silent apartment. He flicked on the lights. She had let the room go dark as the sun set, lost in her apprehension for the Joker's arrival. She blinked and looked toward him. He seemed to have refreshed his face paint and looked exhilarated, as if he was ready for a night on the town.

He looked at her closely. "Uh, hmm. This isn't too convincing," he said, noticing her simple hair and basic makeup. "Where did you put everything? I'll help," he said hurriedly. He grabbed the bag and kneeled in front of her as she sat in stunned silence.

"You don't go to many parties, do you?" he asked. He was adding a generous amount of lipstick, and she knew he didn't expect a reply. He applied more color around her eyelids and chose the darkest mascara.

"I almost forgot, I brought something for those eyes," he said. He produced a small container from his jacket. "We should have done this before the makeup. Have you ever worn contacts? Oh, never mind," he said, not waiting for an answer. "Just open your eyes." She did her best to pull her eyelids apart, afraid of the consequences if she didn't do as he said. He put the brown contacts in expertly and was done in a moment. She felt the foreign sensation on her eye, but it was not painful.

"There" he said, motioning to the other side of the room. She crept into the bathroom to look into the mirror and found that he had done an expert job, although it was perhaps overdone. The face appeared strange to her, like it was that of some foreign visitor and not her own.

"Let's go, we'll be late, Annie." He rarely said her name, and it jarred her to hear it as she walked toward the door.

"I'll take care of the keys," he said as he opened the door for her, exaggerating his gentlemanly act. She walked through, and he hurried her out of the building and toward a waiting car.

She found herself in the back seat with two of his men, the Joker sitting up front with the driver. The interior of the car smelled musty, like it had been hidden in an old garage or storage unit for a long time. The Joker seemed to be giving instructions as they sped away. She realized that he was probably guiding them through the streets carefully in an effort to avoid the checkpoints the mayor had set up during the food crisis.

It was clear that they were coming into Upper Gotham, and she looked toward the sparkling skyscrapers. If she hadn't been so nervous about whatever errand the Joker had her on, she would have enjoyed seeing the lights of the city appear to flicker as a flurry of snow blew through. It was a little hint of the season before the real cold set in. She disliked the frigid air of the city in winter, but the sparse flakes falling now were charming, softening the often harsh lines of Gotham.

"Well look at that, we're here," he said from the front. She recognized the building. The catering company she worked for had staffed several dinner parties here. It included a few popular event venues plus a news studio on one of the upper floors. She noticed a sign for a Wayne Enterprises charity ball. Had the Joker come to crash another of Bruce Wayne's events? She thought she had seen something in the news about this being the first event hosted by Wayne since the disastrous fundraiser where she had met the Joker.

"I've worked here before," she said as everyone but the driver exited the car and headed toward the building.

"Well, this will be a different experience for you, kitten. Now you're unrecognizable, you're one of them. You're valuable because your clothes are valuable. You're a rich, beautiful, young woman. They will really… care about you."

"I don't know if I can play that role for you," she said cautiously, knowing she would never blend in with wealthy Gothamites.

"Oh, you can, just wait," he said ominously.

They entered the building and quickly made their way through an empty hallway on the main floor. He brought the two men and Annie with him onto an empty elevator.

"Let's see - 20th floor I believe," he said as if they were going on a tour of the building. She could see from the control panel labels in the elevator that the GCN news station was on the 20th floor. She grew even more confused.

"Don't worry, you'll be perfect," he said, noticing her wide eyes. In one quick motion, he had her in his grasp, his arm around her shoulders and the switchblade to her throat. She wrenched her body to the left, away from the knife, but it was no use. He regained control quickly, as if he was used to this posture. "Hmm," he said calmly as if he was considering what earrings would best complement her dress. He quickly reached up with the knife and cut the tie keeping her hair pinned back. It fell immediately in a messy cascade. She could hear him inhale deeply. "That's perfect," he said with satisfaction. The elevator doors opened.

The news was broadcasting live, so most of the staff were in the newsroom. Very few people were in the hallway. Those who were quickly ducked and ran, noticing the guns the men held and the terrible image of the Joker with a knife to the throat of the woman in the sparkling red dress.

The Joker half lifted her, half pushed her as he strode forward. She tried to move but her reactions were sluggish, as if her body was unable to process what was happening. They entered a large lobby area, also mostly empty. "That was good, very convincing," he purred in her ear as they entered.

He pushed her through the lobby at a quicker pace, and she found herself able to move again, stumbling forward as she came out of her initial shock. As they moved, he kept her held tightly - there was nothing she could do but keep going. He had given her a small forgiving space between the knife and her neck so that she could move her head, but the blade still shined there menacingly.

She realized that there was absolutely nothing she could do - it was as if she just had to come along for the ride. She had a surprising rush of exhilaration and her body relaxed in his arms. Something about being led along like this - she had no power over what would happen or which direction he would choose, and she felt like a heavy weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She didn't get to decide what to do at this point, or even to move under her own power. She had no decisions to make. He lifted her over the few steps from the lobby into the next hallway. She heard a whisper in her ear. "I knew you'd like it."

An uneasiness came over her as she realized he was right. She felt some kind of bizarre freedom in his arms. How many other things did he know about her that she didn't know about herself?

Soon they came to the large glass newsroom doors. He knocked politely, as if the room's inhabitants couldn't already look out and see the disturbing image of the Joker and his companions. One of the Joker's men moved his gun into position to shoot the glass, but someone quickly opened the door, while others panicked and hid under desks and behind camera equipment. They entered the room, and it became deathly silent. "I decided we'd try GCN tonight," he said, sitting Annie down in the news director's chair and motioning one of the men to keep her at gunpoint there.

"Hello, James," the Joker said, grabbing the front of the anchor's shirt and pulling him up from his position hiding under the desk, settling him back onto his stool. "Let's get the cameras going, please!," he yelled as he took a standing position on the opposite side of the desk. One of his men gestured at the camera operators with his weapon and they quickly complied.

"You're on air."

"Good evening! I'm here with, uh, James tonight." The anchor sat there with his eyes unfocused, obviously in shock.

"I was happy to see that the mayor came to his senses and decided to share some food with Lower Gotham. That was really so considerate of him. But it turns out that it's too late. Harvey didn't care about feeding you - why does he need to worry about policing you? All these checkpoints, it's really getting tiring for me and my men. Harvey Dent needs to remove the checkpoints, or I'll get rid of them for him. I'll put on a fireworks show that Gotham will never forget."

The Joker's men motioned to him, letting him know that time was running short. The police had been alerted and were on their way.

He acted quickly, yelling "That's a wrap! Cut the cameras." He turned to the stunned anchor, putting his hand up to the side of his head and simply pushing him off of the stool. He fell in a heap on the floor, still not making a sound. "If the girl wasn't with me, I'd have my men blow your head off for being such a coward," he said in an exasperated voice.

He walked toward Annie and pulled her up by her shoulder, this time producing his gun from his purple jacket. He held it near her head but pointed it upward. She felt her heart skip a beat as she looked out the glass doors and saw two security guards appear with guns drawn, facing them.

The guards opened the doors but hesitated at the entrance to the newsroom. The Joker pulled his arm tight around her shoulders, making her wince. "She looks nice in this color, doesn't she? Would you like to see more red? Do you want me to decorate the walls with her?" he said, his voice sounding completely unhinged. She froze, uncertain of her fate now. Did she really know what he would do?

"She's from one of the most important families in Gotham, attending Wayne's event tonight. Do you want her blood on your hands?" he asked, half-dragging her toward the open door.

The guards were obviously nervous, likely having never seen anything like this before. The Joker pushed toward them with her, seemingly unafraid. When they were within inches of their weapons, the guards finally withdrew. They dropped the guns and backed away, watching the strange figures leave.

They brushed past the frightened news staff on either side of the hallway, half walking and half sprinting out of the building. She breathed a sigh of relief as she saw that there were no police in the area yet, though she could hear distant sirens. "In the car," the Joker commanded the group, and they piled in to the back seat.

The car sped off into the night, unnoticed. The Joker gave quick instructions to the driver, taking them on a different route from the one they had used earlier. She was on the opposite side in the back, and she could see him in profile. He looked like he was making choices about which streets to take and pointing out locations to the man driving. She allowed her eyes to settle on his face as he smoothed back his unruly hair. He seemed to always know what to do, where to go, comfortable anywhere. He looked back at her suddenly, as if he sensed her eyes. She looked away, focusing her attention on the city lights and hoping he hadn't noticed how long she had been watching him.

The circuitous route finally brought them back to her building. She was starting to feel more comfortable now that she was at home, and she thought the Joker would likely move on now that he had delivered his message to Gotham. He unlocked the door for her and she entered the apartment. She felt a wave of apprehension when she turned around to find that he was following right behind her.

"Well, we dressed you so beautifully, but we forgot the best part," he said menacingly, as he closed the door and removed his gloves. She could only wait and watch anxiously. He unbuttoned his purple jacket and took it off, reaching into an interior pocket before he let it fall to the floor. The ruby necklace hung shining in his hands.

"How..?" she trailed off, shocked at the reappearance of the necklace.

"You think I don't have friends in the Gotham City PD?" he asked. Her blood ran cold as she realized he must know that she had talked to the police months ago. He only smiled and said, "Turn around, beautiful, I want to add the finishing touch to your ensemble." The image of him there holding the necklace ends in each hand stuck in her mind ominously, as if he was holding a weapon instead of jewelry.

To turn her back to him made her extremely uncomfortable, but she was even more afraid of the anger that seemed to be always seething behind his fiery eyes. And now he knew about her trip to the GCPD. Maybe simply obeying would satisfy whatever curiosity he had, and he would leave her in peace. She turned and he guided her with slow steps to stand in front of the bathroom mirror.

"Now lift up your hair," he said, his voice close to her ear. She carried out his request, shuddering as she felt his fingers dragging along her neck much more than should be necessary. She looked up, catching his eyes lingering on her skin with a focus that sent a chill through her. His eyes rolled upward to meet hers in the reflection and a slight smile crept over his face. He pulled the chain back against her throat a little too tightly, and her hands went up to her neck instinctively to protect herself.

"Don't worry, kitten, it's just a joke," he said dismissively. He loosened the pressure and simply tied the two broken ends of the necklace into a knot on the back of her neck.

The necklace was dazzling and matched the gaudy brilliance of the dress perfectly. It reflected the light in a thousand flashes onto the mirror and back into her eyes.

"Now that's what I'm talking about," he said, putting his hands on her shoulders as if he was proud of creating her current appearance.

She watched his reflection cautiously in the mirror. She could see his chest moving with deep breaths, and the fire in his eyes seemed somehow muted, clouded over. She could feel the energy in the room shift. His face changed, dropping the fake smile and light demeanor. His hand suddenly disappeared under the sleeve hanging off her shoulder, easily gliding under the bodice of her dress and taking a position dangerously close to her breast. She gasped and froze, breathing rapidly. She desperately searched her mind for some action she could take. He took his free hand and slowly traced the line of the necklace chain from the knot on the back of her neck down to her collar bone. For her it felt like time stopped and his hand would never come to rest. She watched him from his reflected image and suddenly noticed herself, a woman she barely recognized, in the mirror. Her hair tousled and the makeup slightly smeared, combined with the glittering red finery of the necklace - she felt somehow separated from herself.

She lurched backward with her body, in a futile effort to free herself. He easily kept her in his grasp in the cramped bathroom, his strong fingers digging into her ribs. She continued to try to wrench her body away from his hold, but as she struggled, she only felt more exposed.

"I can wait," he said calmly, running his tongue over the corners of his lips. She quieted again, catching her breath. He bent his head down to speak into her ear, never taking his eyes off their image in the mirror.

"Are you scared of what I might do," he said slowly and deliberately, "or are you scared of something…. else." He held her there for another moment, both of them focused on their reflection.

His hands were gone from her body as quickly as they had appeared. He slid out from behind her back and stepped around to face her, covering her view of the mirror with his tall form. She was frozen now, her body refusing to move.

He bent his knees slightly to lower himself so that his face was exactly even with hers. His eyes slowly rolled from her mouth up to her eyes and settled there with a calculating gaze. "How about a kiss?" he said casually, bringing his lips to barely graze hers. She felt chills radiate from the light touch down though the back of her neck and into the core of her body. His closeness was overwhelming. She turned her head away in shame. She couldn't even control her reaction to this man? He parted his lips slightly and backed away, clicking his tongue, putting his hands up in feigned innocence.

"Ok, kitten, I can see you don't want to play."

She leaned on the sink for support and hugged her chest in a protective motion. He put on his jacket, saying, "You can keep the necklace, but you'll need to take off the dress and leave it outside your door. My guys will pick it up. We wouldn't want you to have any evidence of our evening out to take to the GCPD the next time you go talk with them, would we?"

He left, slamming the door behind him.

Additional notes: This is fanfic, so of course I don't own any characters from The Dark Knight (Joker, Batman, etc.). The main female character is original.

[teejaywyatt1]

✨Chapter 7 of Heat of the Moment will drop on Thursday, November 9th at 2:30PM EST.✨

[missfortuneisblue]

"I hate talking about this, but... I do have depression. I hate it. I wasn't made to be sad and pathetic, I was made to be joyous and comical.

The pain makes it so much easier to ignore reality. To feel the sting of bruises and cuts, to beat the ever lovin' shit out of someone, to watch the misery and downfall of people who don't understand what it's really like to have one bad day ruining rest of your life...

It makes it so much easier to forget about my parents deaths…

*starts sobbing, putting her head in her hands…then starts laughing, the cackling and wheezing*

You know what’s the kicker? I see my parents everywhere. Still their happy-go-lucky selves! Laughing, enjoying life to the fullest, beckoning for me to come to them… but I have tried so many damn times to leave this godforsaken world! To be with them! To finally get a chance to hug them one last time!

Whoever created this universe, whatever fucked up piece of shit is watching, must think this is the funniest crap ever! And it is!

Who knew watching a psychopath wishing to die and go to Hell to see her dead parents was funny as fuck?! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

- Miss Fortune, during a private conversation with the Joker upon a rooftop within Gotham City.

[sprites4ever]

OC BIO - Alex Martinez

Don't care + didn't ask + get shot in the face.

She/Her

18 Years old

British

1,65 m

Hobby Archaeologist, adrenaline junkie, adventurer, [DATA CORRUPTED] Instance of the [DATA CORRUPTED] Concept of [DATA CORRUPTED], doomed to not [DATA CORRUPTED] for more than [DATA CORRUPTED] Years

Theme Song: The Chemical Brothers - Go

Probably a Sociopath

Voice Claim: Ashly Burch/Elsie Lovelock/Giselle Fernandez/Deanna Mustard

[cheeseandbretboy]

JOKER (2019) AND JOKER: FOLIE A DEUX (2024) SPOILERS !!!

still trying to sift through my thoughts but i liked joker 2. i dont get how the ratings are so bad?? were people expecting a romance???? a fun movie? i mean even i was surprised by the depressing end but im really glad it happened because thats what joker 2019 was about too. arthur was never the actual 'joker' we see in dc films, and we knew that. his whole story is tragic but a lot of people missed that in the first movie. the second speaks on that to humanise arthur (even though thats what they literally tried to do in the first one?? didnt work i guess) and shame those who use him as a symbol for misogyny and incel stuff. i think what most people are mad about is how hes not as 'villainy' as the other jokers BUT AGAIN he was never the true joker and im confused as to how people missed that !! personally i loved how it shows that even after he's secured himself the identity of joker he's still repeatedly exploited as he was before that, and he has to come to terms with it. harleys character was really surprising for me because usually she's the one being manipulated by joker- in this case it was the other way around. especially interesting was how joker was the one who sung 'bewitched' about harley (the original song is sung about a man, so they had to change he/him to she/her) and the scene of joker and harley's show where she continues singing 'to love somebody' without looking at him, instead basking in the attention the audience gives her. people were expecting a twisted sexy romance between them but instead we were given something really uncomfortable and unnerving- like that sex scene. her character also gives insight into parasocial relationships and how weird and dangerous they can get. she never really knew arthur- she knew joker. the film starts with us finally happy that he 'for once in his life, has someone who needs him' and ends with us absolutely distraught. in the first movie, he says stuff like 'you dont listen' and 'i never knew i existed' and STILL after becoming an infamous killer, getting a show about him, EVERYONE talking about him, he's still not seen. there are just so many things the film points out about its fanbase (incels, parasocial relationships, identity, the glamourisation/sexualisation of violence, columbiners, exploitation etc etc) and i guess people don't like that. they want capitalism=bad, 'men have it so bad', and mm gore! which is fair- i loved it too- but it doesnt hurt to delve into the identity of 'joker' (whatever that is) and how that influences its viewers. its quite meta i like it a lot. they didnt care that the ratings would be awful because they had to speak on what the first movie did to people

oh also the intertextuality is just amazing. the songs are great, like i mentioned before with changing the female and male roles with 'bewitched', and even though i absolutely hate musicals this really worked fo rme. i think it's because musicals often have songs smack bam in the middle of realistic scenes and the singing just ruins it for me- but in joker 2 they're more often a part of arthur's fantasies so it was actually better. i wasnt sure about the musical element at first but after rewatching joker for like the 1000th time i realised how much its intertwined in the first movie- we just never really paid attention to it. the end of 'gonna build a mountain' was amazing (you have to pay attention to the lyrics), 'the joker' was great, and the few instances of violence we see from arthur while hes singing is really entertaining i love it sm. i keep mentioning 'betwitched' but i love it. 'she is cold, i agree, she can laugh, and i love it' ahh. i loved the intertextuality with nolan's the dark knight. a lot of people hate it, but i think people should be more flexible with inspiration and interweaving similar but different stories into films. just because it follows a similar story doesnt mean that it should either perfectly fit the mould of nolan's batman, but neither does it mean they should abandon it altogether either. harvey dent really surprised me, and even though he was a pretty minor character i loved the few references to nolan's batman they give (like his gory face after the explosion at court being a possible villain origin story). most obvious is the end though, where arthur is gutted by that inmate who admires him. the use of the joke was amazing and i was really surprised by how he got stabbed. you can see in this moment that arthur has been relieved of his identity of 'joker' and can finally rest as himself, just a mentally ill guy with a history of tragic abuse. when lee and his fans betray him (the real life ones too hilariously) we realise no one truly saw or loved him, and he couldn't deal with that. so, the identity of joker was passed on to that inmate- "ah, what a fine young son to take my place"- while he cuts a glasgow smile into his face. in felt this was sort of missing from joker 2019, so im really glad they used ledger's joker as inspiration for this inmate.

there's a lot more to talk about, ESPECIALLY gary's reappearance which im so so glad about, it really fleshed out his character. when he walked up to the stand, you can see people whispering and laughing at him- arthur never made fun of him. it really helps to make people question what constitutes a bad person. sure, these people didn't kill 6 people, but how easy would it be for them just not to laugh? it showed arthur's empathy, and how uncomfortable he was with admitting to it when trying to paint himself as the joker. "you were the only one who was nice to me" was said by arthur in the first movie when he kills randal and gary says something similar to him during court.

anyways wow that was great people are mad the 2nd movie is as depressing as the first (if not more). at the end ofthe first, arthur has a whole revolution loving him, and we did the same. at the end of the second we realise we never truly knew him, but exploited his character.

[absolutebl]

Hello! I discovered your blog relatively recently so forgive me if you’ve already done this but would you consider compiling a list of all the times crossdressing has been done in bl? Whether as a plot-device, for comedy, for serious reasons, just all the times crossdressing as a trope has appeared.

In a similar vein if you wanted to explore it I’d also be interested in the breadth of trans rep in bl/queer shows and movies in Asian media and if that ever blends into the crossdressing (maybe also drag would be interesting to throw into the mix as well?). Also just an exploration of Queer Femme characters that are not made fun of or villainized by the narrative would be cool! Basically just exploring femme queer aspects in bl in all its good, bad, and I’m sure sometimes ugly forms!

Hi, welcome! Ooo, crossdressing. Frankly I can't think of many and I don't have great recall on this one so I will have to ask the feed.

BL's With Crossdressing

Meet You At The Blossom (China 2024) - major plot point

Nobleman Ryus Wedding (Korea 2021) - historical, entire premise

Kieta Hatsukoi AKA My Love Mix-Up! (Japan 2021)

Love Stage (Japan 2020) - major plot point (better executed in the anime version)

Love Stage (Thailand 2022) - major plot point better executed than either Japanese version

About Youth (Taiwan 2022)

I Told Sunset About You (Thailand 2020)

Jack & Joker (Thailand 2024)

My Bromance the movie (Thailand 2014)

My Love Mix-up (Thailand 2023)

I Am Your King (Thailand 2017) - this is Mark Siwat's first BL, and yeah, he's the one cross dressing (he plays the femme rich boy in Jack & Joker)

The Sign (Thailand 2024) - historical costume for the girl of the past being played by a boy is a gender mix of female/male attire, it's very clever

YYY (Thailand 2022)

I feel like Gun has crossdressed in one of his. Theory of Love maybe?

Mr Cinderella (Vietnam 2022)

My Sky (Vietnam 2017) - trigger warning

My Lascivious Boss (Vietnam 2021) - major plot point

Moots et al...... other (older?) BLs with cross dressing?

Others worth noting

Either the representation or the BL is in question, or it's not exactly crossdressing it's something else. Still, some obscure ones just in case.

Wait For Me at Udagawachou AKA Udagawachou de Matteteyo (Japan 2015) - may be triggering involves body dysmorphia and fetishization of trans identity, but if you can you should watch this

Spring of Crush (Korea 2022) - this is a bromance

Rainbow Prince (Pinoy 2022)

DNA Says Love You (Taiwan 2022)

Great Men Academy (Thailand 2019)

3 Will Be Free (Thailand 2019)

Love Sick 2024 (Thailand) - made an aggressively male character from the original into a newly out 3rd gender/trans character in the new version, very intentional modernization choice, fascinating. Directly addresses dead naming among other things in the few scenes she has.

Saneha Stories series from Thailand

You should follow Cooheart on IG he does some fantastic gender bending and crossdressing styles. He's the fashion icon gift that keeps on giving.

Thai BL has tons of representation and use of characters/actors of Thai third gender, a lot of which is for comedy. Rarely if ever in BL more like Diary of the Tootsies. I would say my favorite and most beloved 3rd G rep is in The Sign. But that is is different than what you asked for.

Femme rep I have talked about before, most specifically in the context of Daisy in Secret Crush On You......

More Queer Lens & Thai BL 

BL Linguistics & Queer Identity I Am Gay versus I Like Men 

Husband Wife Language in Thai BL (SOTUS, TharnType + a lot of 2022 BL) 

Thai BL Lacks Representation of Butch & Transgender Men (and why this has to do with Thailand's 3rd Gender) 

Thai Military Service & Thai BL

Hope that helps.

(source)

[do-you-ship-this-comic-ship]

propaganda:

This is for all of my fellow Two-Face and Gilda lovers out there! Personally I think that BruHarvey as a ship is underrated because of how much more popular other Rogues are (especially the Joker and the Riddler), and the prominence of ships between Bruce and various members of the Justice League (and of course the various comp het ships DC keeps trying to force Bruce into).

In comparison Harvey just doesn't really capture the fandom's imagination as much. Therefore BruHarvey isn't super popular because they don't consider it as an option a lot of the time. But that being said, I also find that a lot of people when presented with BruHarvey as a possible ship will be pretty amenable to it! It's just a fantastic ship if you want some old man/toxic/tragic yaoi! The ship has so much going for it! Childhood friends to lovers. Enemies to lovers. Friends in their civilian identities, as they try to pursue justice for Gotham together, and even friends after Harvey becomes a villain too! It's SO juicy and has SO much unexplored potential if DC weren't COWARDS and would just let Brucie kiss men already! Each of their themes of justice, duality, and redemptive love mirror one another in such an exceedingly tantalizing way that I could write a whole college thesis on it! But I'm not just here about them. I'm also here for my girl Gilda too!

Now BruHarvey may be an underrated ship... And Two-Face as a character is just about rated as a character (not underrated. Not overrated. Just rated). But Gilda...? My poor, poor girl Gilda! Writers never know what to do with her and refuse to give her the justice she deserves!!! Gilda is a big part of the reason why Two-Face was able to work so well as a character and concept all the way back in the 40's in the first place! I don't think that Harvey would have been as iconic of a character with as much staying power as he does with just... SO MANY imitators if it weren't for Gilda's presence and ability to help Harvey redeem himself! The whole point of Harvey as a character is that while he might be a villain, he is never too far gone as to not deserve a chance at redemption. He genuinely cannot help himself when it comes to the compulsion of doing crime. And in his original stories, he was able to redeem himself and reach a happy ending with Gilda helping him, supporting him, and loving him through that journey.

The reason that Batman doesn't kill is largely because of Harvey himself! His childhood friend that he deeply cares about, and who, no matter how much society at large, and even Harvey himself tells Bruce that he is beyond saving, that he still cares about nevertheless and will NEVER give up on! And Gilda was the first person to never give up on Harvey and was the one to lead him back to the light! In a time where Batman might still occasionally use a gun and where the punishment most criminals would recieve in the comics was death or a lifetime of jail, never to be seen again, Two-Face stood out because of his redemption! A redemption that the writers of the comics stuck to for decades in spite of a clear demand to have Two-Face back as a threat! (Hence the many, many imitators.) And sure, the helpless damsel who saves the bad guy through the power of love may be a tired trope these days, but it's still one that can work very well, and as a woman first written in the 40's Gilda actually has a surprising amount to her that later writers would forget or just outright ignore! Gilda clearly was a female character who had more going on in her life other than her boyfriend at the time she was first written. She was actually a sculptor!

A woman with her own well-respected career entirely divorced from her DA boyfriend's! And while Harvey was her primary muse, I have doubts that her career just stopped when he turned to crime! After all, she seems to have been a woman who owned a house and lived on her own and had enough wealth to spend her free time going to the movies (and apparently buying herself mysterious cloaks). In the 1940's! We love a woman who can get everything on her own without needing a man (though it is a nice bonus) in this household! And she was doing it as an artist when that stuff was less common! And her other biggest trait is her unshaking love and loyalty for Harvey. I think that it's genuinely interesting how the crime and murder matters very little to Gilda (and similar characters that fill her role in stories). What she doesn't like is how he lies and tries to decieve her specifically. She would die for Harvey. She would kill for Harvey. She will stay with and help him through thick and thin. No matter what.

And very few pieces of media do her character justice! The Long Halloween may ostensibly be about her, but they gave her nothing in her life other than the men she associates with, a desire for children, and murder. Not even a hint that she was a sculptor, barely a hint that she studied law or anything that other iterations offered! She's my girl! And she could honestly offer a number of very interesting story posibilities, if only writers saw her potential! But clearly they don't given that for the last several decades, they've been writing her out of stories, or killing her off in brutal fashion so that they don't have to deal with the question of what she's up to while Harvey is doing his crime stuff. Hell. Gilda was the catalyst for the Long Halloween, so why isn't Dark Victory about nor even include her in person!??? Why not explore her being Duela Dent's mother!? Why not show her standing by Bruce's side while the both of them try to help Harvey recover!??? Why do the writers try to make Harvey NOT a wife guy!? Why can't they let Gilda be around and Harvey's wife that's cooler and more chill than him!? Why must Harvey be single!? By far he has the best romantic chemistry with (out of anyone who isn't Gilda) Bruce and no other major character! But if you stick Harvey and Bruce together for that sweet, sweet tragic yaoi and angst... Well... First of all DC are COWARDS who refuse to let Bruce be into dudes. And second of all, why not just let Bruce, Harvey, and Gilda be together and poly!!!? But I'm no coward! Double the partners means double the chances for tragedy and angst! (Or comedy if you'd like!) And double the possibilities for love, recovery, and redemption! Gilda wouldn't and shouldn't give up on Harvey!

And Bruce and Gilda cheating on Harvey without his blessing!??? BROKE! Them being in a polycule? Excellent! And if you need any proof that Bruce, Harvey, and Gilda could be a functional polycule, you should read the daily newspaper Batman comics as archived on @daily-batman! Because they make a GREAT case for it there, and seeing their relationship develop in that story is just delightful! Harvey watches Batman (that he's half figured out is Bruce) kiss his wife (named Alice but like... She's CLEARLY just Gilda with a different name!) and isn't bothered by it AT ALL other than it giving her hope that he can get better! Kissing his wife? That he understands and is perfectly fine with. But giving her HOPE!!!??? Now THAT'S a line too far! Sounds like something someone poly might do! And also... That series finale!!! Lol. Harvey getting jealous of and trying to kill Bruce for thinking that he's stealing his girl? Nah. Broke. Harvey being a-okay with Bruce smooching his wife because he's already in love with Bruce too...? HELL YEAH! Let's do it! Who needs love triangles when you can have power throuples instead!??? Join the few of us that enjoy the ship! And give Gilda and BruHarvey the love they deserve!!!!

Also just LOOK at the image I sent and tell me that it DOESN'T look like Bruce, Harvey, and Gilda are getting poly-married! BruHarvey is juicy and even more juicy with the added DLC of Gilda in the mix! And Gilda deserves the whole world! Give them the world!

[swamiiyasssss]

Dragonfly In Red

Jason Todd + Vigilante!OfficeSiren!Reader

This Hood would never have thought he'd fell in love with a goddamn suit. Tall, dark and gorgeous, she was the wildest of his dreams. A dragonfly amongst the birds, the bats, standing out too much for his own liking.

The suit's got secrets; He intends to take it all for his own.

Dragonfly In Red by yasswami Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), Batman: Arkham - All Media Types, Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010), DCU, DCU (Comics), Red Hood/Arsenal (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Batman: Arkham (Video Games) Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con Relationships: Jason Todd/Reader, Jason Todd/Original Female Character(s), Jason Todd/Original Character(s), minor Luke Fox/Reader Characters: Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Damian Wayne, Titus | Damian Wayne's Dog, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Stephanie Brown, Joker (DCU), Cassandra Cain, Tim Drake, Lucius Fox, Luke Fox, Arkham Asylum Inmates, Arkham Asylum Staff (DCU), Riddler (Batman 1966), Jim Gordon Additional Tags: Slow To Update, Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers, Episode: s01e09 Enemies and Lovers, Lazy Sex, Hate Sex, NSFW, Smut, Angst, Heavy Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Death, Canonical Character Death, Vigilantism, Vigilante Reader, Blood and Violence, Psychological Horror, Psychological Torture, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Sex, Emotional Manipulation, Explicit Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Blood and Injury, Blood Kink, Blood As Lube, Recreational Drug Use, Bondage and Discipline, Chair Bondage, Non-Sexual Bondage, Body Horror, Body Worship, Corporate core, Office Sex, Police Officer Dick Grayson, Restraints, Angry Sex, Angry Kissing, Fake Character Death, Survivor Guilt, Power Imbalance, Power Play, Office SIREN reader, suits & bandages, whump, can u notice i got a thing for blood aha

Jason bares his teeth. “ I find a dragonfly, ensnared in my trap.”

Red Hood/You. Dark & Explicit Themes. Mind the Tags.

[poisonousquinzel]

Origin

Harleen (2019) [Comic]

Harley Quinn: Mad Love [Novel]

The New Batman Adventures "Mad Love" [Episode]

Villain -> Emancipation Arc

Batman: The Animated Series

"Harlequinade", "Harley & Ivy", "Harley's Holiday"

Batgirl Adventures (1997)

Detective Comics #831

Harley Quinn: Wild Card (Backstories). [Book]

Batman: Gotham Adventures #10

Batman Secret Files: The Gardener

Injustice: Year Zero #7 - #8, #14

Unofficial Continuation Of Harleen (2019)

Harley Quinn (2000) #1, #2, #4, #6, #12

Harley Quinn: Black + White + Red #1, #3, #14

"Harleen: Red", "Get Yer Story Straight", "Fixer Upper"

Harley Quinn: Make Em Laugh #1, #2

"Headshrink", "Housewarming", "The Lady or The Tiger"

Harley Quinn: Black + White + Redder #2

#2: "Origin Stories For Dummies", [skip middle story], "Coffee And Pie Oh My"

Batman (2016 - ) #105

---

Notes {Mild Spoiler Warning}

Batman (2016 - ) #105

This is in the middle of a story arc, but it doesn't really matter. Only context you need for Harley's part is that she, Batman and a kid named Bao (Clownhunter) were knocked out and brought to Arkham as a part of a separate conflict between Bruce and someone. ❤️

Harley Quinn: Black + White + Red

The first chapter, "Harleen: Red", is connected to and takes place in the Harleen (2019) universe. Best read after Harleen and the unofficial continuation.

The continuation is just parts that Stjepan has posted online over the years, I tried my best to put them in an order that flowed. <3

Batman Secret Files: The Gardener

The full comic isn't Harley centric, but I absolutely adore the way Bella tells the tale of Ivy's origin & meeting Harley, it's a cute part showing their relationship.

Harley Quinn: Wild Card (Backstories)

This one is kinda like a somewhat more detailed cliff notes for kids. Parts of her origin is different and aligned with her Rebirth one, but I think it's great to get a feeling of how her character progresses. Though like I said, it is definitely for a preteen & younger audience so some stuff is watered down. Her relationship with Joker isn't as graphically abusive (he's a toxic little bitch, but not shown being directly physical with her.), and her introduction into the Suicide Squad is more chill and something she agrees to do.

But even with that, I love it! It's got pencil sketches throughout, notes from Harley herself which I think is a lovely detail and added bits about her relationship with Ivy over the years.

Harley Quinn (2000)

#6: this is kinda the beginning of a two chapter plot, but I'm including for stuff in this chapter only.

Also, her characterization during one part that involves Bruce's female bodyguard feels ooc imo, especially considering it's the same writer from #2.

[ao3statistics]

This is self-made. Date: 30.07.2024

Honestly, the only result surprising me is the HQ/Bruce Wayne ship...

OFC = Original Female Character(s)

The Jokester: a hero on Earth-3, appearing in the comic series "Countdown" in 2007.

Ivy Pepper: Poison Ivy from the Gotham TV series (correct me if I'm wrong)

Jerome Valeska: a mass murderer from the Gotham TV series who seems weirdly similar to the Joker

Richard "Rick" Flag Jr.: field commander of the modern Task Force X, also known as the Suicide Squad

Arthur Fleck: Jokers (potential) real name in some media

I assume no guarantee or liability for the completeness, correctness and accuracy of this chart despite my best efforts.

Includes fanfictions in all languages available on Ao3, NOT English only.

Includes all fandoms connected to the name "Harleen Quinzel" and her alias "Harley Quinn".

Percentages were rounded up or rounded down to natural numbers for easier comprehension.

Poly ships were included.

More charts will follow. :)

Want to have a chart for different pairings, headcanons etc. in your favourite fandom? Send me an ask!

[gotham25052]

Dark Waters

Part 5

Contents: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 6 Part 7

As the social fabric of Gotham begins to fray and the Joker's intrusion into her life escalates, Anna struggles to maintain control. But is she threatened by the Joker or by something within herself?

Author's note: Excited to share Part 5! There are a lot of callbacks to earlier chapters in this part, so if you are interested in reading but haven't gone through those yet, you might want to read parts 1-4 first to get the most out of it. The second half of Part 5 is a really special section of this whole story.

This week is fire and ice (not like Game of Thrones, just like literal fire and ice :) )

TW: 18+, violence, mild sexual content, brief swearing, heavy themes including contemplation of death

Dark Waters, Part 5

He could feel it, even from the first time he saw her. The wildness in her, her fierce loyalty, her absolute devotion, he could feel it in her body when he first held her to the wall, he could see it in her eyes. He knew that she relished her freedom in the same way he valued his - she would never accept being penned in. The only prison she would accept was the one she had built for herself. He would have to break her out of it.

All her best qualities were clouded by fear. But it was like seeing the sky on a stormy day, the clouds didn't faze him at all, and the brief glimpses of clear sky appeared even bluer in the grayness.

He ruled the city, but with those eyes, she seemed to be from beyond the city or from beyond this world. When he looked at her, he was lost in their cold blue depths, like the fire in his soul had a short reprieve from the constant heat. He wanted her, he wanted her to worship him, he wanted her to follow every command without question, he wanted to discover all the hidden details of her thoughts, her body. But it was taking so long to pull her out of her stupor that years of neglect had built around her, so hard to find the fire inside her. She was a challenge, but he liked a challenge.

He was busy directing his organization, destabilizing Gotham's institutions and swaying public opinion against the powers that be. This side project was a welcome distraction, a place to pour his overflowing energy and drive. The day to day of managing his growing enterprise was tedious and quite boring in its details. Just like war, he had days of frenzied activity followed by weeks of waiting.

He had been with many partners. Some pretended to suffer at his touch, imagining that was what he wanted as the Joker of Gotham, but he knew better. By the end he always called their bluff. This one, though - when he was near her, it was like touching a pool of still water and watching the ripples disturb the surface all the way to the edge. He knew she would make an excellent lover.

Annie tried to get back to her routine after her last encounter with the Joker. She filled her days with work, taking on extra hours, coming home only when she was completely exhausted. She was hoping that at least looking in the mirror would stop reminding her of their last outing together as she watched the dark dye fade away, but the passage of time didn't seem to help.

She avoided stopping on her commute to watch the waves break onto the rocky seawall. The first time she had tried to go back, she questioned whether it was the wind tossing her hair, or his hands running through it again. She left and had not returned. Being there only reminded her of him now.

But most of the time, she didn't feel at all. She had been able to shut herself off for years. The truth was, she was really just waiting for her clock to tick down when the Joker found her in the ballroom.

Her experiences with others throughout her life, especially men, had alternated between unpleasant and brutal. Keeping herself in isolation soothed her wounds and made her feel as if she was somehow fulfilling her role in life. But deep down, she knew she was really just waiting for it all to end. He had disturbed her peace when she had already given up on this world, and she felt anger boil up under her skin. The tranquility she had worked for seemed to be gone, pulled out from under her.

She guarded herself vigilantly, immediately throwing out any thoughts connected to the Joker. She resented the fact that he had found a place in her mind at all. She was used to exercising extreme self-control. Years of holding in her desire to escape from the Church before she was finally able to leave, and now deprivation and a life of solitude in Gotham - she had been able to hold herself in tight check for a decade.

The nights were what she most dreaded. No matter how tired she was when she went to sleep, she would wake up, breathless and alert, feeling the strange rhythm of his voice in her ear. Was it fear that tortured her? She told herself it was, and blotted out her memory of those nights once morning came. She was very good at dividing herself into parts.

But now here she was washing the tubs that had held the meats and cheeses for the restaurant in Upper Gotham, and the mundane task took just enough of her attention that she forgot to watch her thoughts. Her mind turned in the direction she was constantly avoiding.

She remembered seeing his disheveled hair and calculating face in the front seat of the car. He was so self-assured, avoiding every snare in the streets of Gotham. She felt the strength of his arms when he held her, effortlessly pushing her through the hallways of the news studio; she recalled how his breath flowed over her ear when he dragged his fingers along her neck, slowly following the line of the necklace, his look of absolute concentration in the mirror…

"Annie, we're trying to do dishes here," a voice broke into her daydream. She shook her head as if it would dislodge the memories and focused on the work with twice the energy, pushing all the intrusive thoughts out of her mind.

She finally took off her apron, hanging it in the usual spot. She left the restaurant to catch the evening bus back to Lower Gotham. She stared straight ahead during the ride, feeling the anger spark under her skin, upset that she had let her thoughts wander so freely at work. The bus stopped, and she headed off to transit to the other line that would take her the rest of the way home.

She was looking at the ground, trying to get to the next bus as quickly as possible, when she heard it. The base of a thunderous boom in the distance that was so powerful it broke windows just down the street from her. She felt the shockwave run through her chest and echo in her head. She instinctively looked back, searching for the source of the explosion. A building in the distance was alight, engulfed in flames.

The pink radiance of the sunset mixed with the orange glow of the fire. A series of smaller explosions followed the first blast, each one closer than the last. She stood mesmerized by the dancing flames and the bizarre glow of the sky.

"Get out of the way, bitch, are you crazy?" shouted a man as a he pushed past her, nearly making her fall. Regaining her stance, she continued to study the slow march of disaster unfolding down the street, the sounds unmistakably drawing nearer. The wind whipped past her face, carrying the shouts of those who were caught up in the rush. She realized that the crowd was quickly closing in on her, the distance between people slowly disappearing so that she began to fear that the oncoming mass would crush her.

She started when she felt as if the rush of the wind running past her had been replaced by the touch of a familiar gloved hand, moving her hair away from the side of her face. She thought she was just imagining his presence again, until she heard his voice in her ear. "It is magnificent," he said softly, his tone strangely comforting to her in this chaotic situation.

She turned around and saw him back away from her, lifting up his arms to address the crowd. His words seemed oblivious to the strong wind and carried through the air as if it was still. "She's just enjoying the show," he announced, as if her fascination with the oncoming disaster was the most understandable reaction in the world. The crowd pressed back, away from the figure that stood before them with the recognizable white face and garish red mouth. She saw his jacket billowing out behind him, the waving orange silk lining flickering like the flames, almost glowing.

He grabbed her shoulders, forcing her out of the mass of people, and the fear of being trampled by the oncoming crowd temporarily overcame her caution. She followed his guiding arm to run with him, as those who had surrounded her before stared at them, shocked to see the strange woman arm in arm with the infamous Joker.

They came to a vehicle that looked like a hybrid of an armored truck and a van. He opened the side door to the back and had her inside and sitting down beside him before she could even consider breaking away. She surveyed her new surroundings as the vehicle sped off. The space inside had been hollowed out and benches were arranged around the perimeter. There were a few drop seats in the back, and that is where the Joker had sat down with her. Several men rested on the benches on either side, holding a motley array of firearms.

She gave him an alarmed sideways glance, and he saw the question in her eyes. "We're just a diversion, kitten," he said, pulling his shotgun out from under the seat and setting it on his lap. His words did not provide much assurance.

"What… how did you do this?" she asked, confused about how he could have orchestrated so many explosions on the border of Lower and Upper Gotham.

"Me? I didn't do anything. Chaos has its own way of spreading, once it starts. I just connected the people who wanted some fireworks with the explosives. The pieces came together on their own. Everyone hates Dent's checkpoints."

"It's more than just the checkpoints - there are buildings on fire," she explained, her curiosity overcoming her fear for a moment.

"Well, dynamite isn't very precise. Who knows, maybe some of these people had other axes to grind with the city." He gave her a sidelong glance and stared forward again, making it clear he was ending their brief conversation.

The evening was turning to night as they drove on. The Joker reclined, putting his feet up on the bench that lined the left side of the space. He seemed to be in good spirits, along with his men. He held the gun in place with one hand and lit up a cigarette with the other, joining several of them who were smoking. Though he always seemed to be at ease, she realized she had never truly seen him in his element until now. His occasional nervous ticks were gone, replaced by a fluid calm in the way he raised the cigarette to his lips and held the gun as if it belonged there, close to his body.

His jacket hung down luxuriously, the fabric draped over his reclined figure. She stared at the orange lining, bright against the dusty purple of his pants, shimmering with new color as the streetlights shined through the high windows of the van. She watched the darkness and light play on the glowing surface. She glanced up at his face, seeing his glittering eyes staring forward like an animal at home in the night. He seemed truly comfortable, absolutely contented, in this van speeding through the cold winter streets of Gotham, deciding which area of the city to strike.

He opened his mouth wide, leaning his head back and letting the smoke drift out slowly. Suddenly he turned toward her, a sly smile spreading over his face.

"So you like a man with a gun, kitten?" He said it as if he had discovered a hidden vulnerability in her.

He got up and walked to the front of the van, apparently talking to the driver. The men began to sit up, everyone on alert now, waiting for something. She looked around her nervously. He came back to sit down again, inspecting her face with pursed lips as if he was making a decision. He reached into his pocket and then grabbed the top of her head with his other hand. Her confusion caused her to stay still, and just as she was coming to herself enough to protest, she realized he was putting earplugs into her ears. "You wouldn't have done it right," he said as he finished.

"Now get on the floor," he instructed, as if he was asking her to do the simplest chore.

"The floor, now," he growled, the urgency becoming clearer as the van sped on more erratically. She pushed herself out of the seat and got on her hands and knees on the unsteady floor, not sure what to do. He rolled his eyes and sighed, putting his hand on her back and pushing her down so that she would lie flat. She simply let him guide her - this was his world. He pushed her prone form under the drop seats as calmly as if he was closing a drawer, and then quickly spun away to arrange his men. They were all rising from their seats and positioning their weapons.

From her limited vantagepoint, she could see rushing feet and heard muffled sounds as the van stopped short and the side door opened. She saw them disappear, heading outside, and then heard the gunshots loud and clear. She couldn't believe she was wearing earplugs - the sound of the shots was still deafening. Finally the sounds became more sporadic and then died out altogether. She waited in the eerie silence until the men returned, and she felt some relief as she recognized the Joker's shoes.

She moved herself forward to get a slightly better view of what was happening. She looked on in alarm as she saw the men pull a wounded police officer into the van. Her apprehension seemed well-founded as the Joker came closer to the man, but the officer had the opposite reaction to what she had thought - she saw relief wash over him when he looked up to see the Joker. She realized that this must be one of the officers who was working for him. The Joker quickly removed his gloves and coat and was looking carefully at the wound on the man's shoulder.

The driver had sped away from the scene but now he pulled into a secluded alley. The Joker grabbed a small box mounted on the sidewall of the van and opened it, revealing first aid supplies. She watched in disbelief as he took the cap off a syringe and pressed it into the man's uninjured arm. She could see the officer's body relax, and the Joker proceeded to stuff the wound with gauze he pulled from the box and held a dressing over it, applying pressure to the injured shoulder.

"We'll take him to the casino, Doc Gallo will fix him up," he ordered, and the driver sped off again.

She began to understand the deep bond the Joker had with his men. He seemed to treat them so poorly in every other setting, and at times she had wondered why they even bothered to stay with him. But here was where they were truly doing their work, and the Joker treated them all as equals. He stayed with them during the fighting, and the whole group worked together like a well-oiled machine. Many of the men looked like the outcasts of society, but here together somehow they seemed to fit in, like some forgotten army battalion that was still fighting despite the war's end. She could tell from the relief on the officer's face that he trusted the Joker completely, totally at ease under his care.

They arrived at what must have been the "casino," but it looked like just another abandoned building on the outskirts of the city. They carried the injured man inside, leaving her alone again. The minutes felt like hours to her, and she wondered if they were eating or resting before resuming the journey. Finally they returned without the officer, and the van began moving toward the center of town again. They seemed to have forgotten she was there, and she was happy to remain hidden under the seats.

They were speeding through the night and all sounds were muffled. She felt secure in her forgotten spot, and the long days of work and broken sleep that had been going on for weeks finally caught up with her. She fell into a deep slumber, lulled by the vibrations of the tires on the city's pavement.

He squatted down beside the drop seat, peeking under it to see Annie there. Her soft form, just barely moving with the breaths of deep sleep, stood in contrast to the hard metal edges of the van's interior. The men were surprised to see him take off his jacket and lay it over her so gently, without waking her. He settled himself back in his seat above her as if he hadn't noticed their stares, but then moved his head upward and let his gaze roam over all of them. They looked away, not wanting to trifle with his anger.

She began to wake up, the first weak light of morning showing through the few windows in the van. She could see his feet move away from her as he stood up, walking to the front to talk to the driver again, and she crept halfway out from under the seat, wondering how much time had passed - it seemed that most of the men had been dropped off, with only a few left seated in the front. The Joker was there too, talking with them. A heavy cold had fallen without many people in the back to warm it up. He turned and began moving toward his seat again, grabbing onto the benches to steady himself on the bumpy ride, in a rapid and disjointed walk that was somewhat unnerving to watch.

He bent down, crouching on the floor. "Ah, kitten, finally waking up from your nap!" he tutted with his tongue as if she was a misbehaving child. She suddenly understood why she was so warm when she saw him without his usual purple jacket and realized that it was draped over her. She was embarrassed, quickly removing it and maneuvering around him to pull herself to her feet. She was shivering almost immediately, the cold in the unheated space settling on her. The cheap jacket she had decided to wear to work that day didn't protect against this kind of weather. He stood briskly, bringing the coat up with him and regarding her as if she was absolutely stupid. He quickly wrapped the coat around her and fitted her arms through the long sleeves. He paused for a moment, holding the front edges of the jacket, their bodies close together. She almost stopped shivering for a moment with her shock at his gesture and her worry about what would happen next. But he quickly wrapped the coat around her and pushed her back into her seat.

He resumed nonchalantly lounging beside her. She stopped shivering right away - the jacket was extremely warm, as if the lining was in fact a glowing fire. She felt as if she was transported back to the moment in the ballroom - he had pressed her to the wall and the purple cloth had scratched against her face when he turned. But now the satin lining felt smooth against her skin.

She noticed a faint trace of perfume in the collar, a delicate scent that reminded her of the luxury of the parties she sometimes staffed, the fine clothes and settings that were so far removed from her daily life in Gotham. It woke her up tenfold, surrounding her in a fragrance that came from another world, far from this bleak and empty metal box.

The time passed lazily as they drove, the Joker periodically looking out the window and giving directions to the driver. Suddenly, he stood up. "Here's your stop!" he said with feigned cheer, and put his hand under her arm to pull her up beside him. She realized they were just outside her apartment building. The van came to a halt.

He studied her expression as they stood together. She looked up into the painted canvas of his face and suddenly felt bewitched by some kind of strange magic, as if she no longer had control. Her hand reached up and took a strand of his disheveled hair, running it slowly between her fingers. So beautiful, the shades of blonde and brown and green there. She saw the muscles tense in his jaw and his expression became stern. His hand reached up to grab hers - at first she thought to remove it from his hair, but he simply held it there with a gentle firmness.

The grasp of his hand was easier to read than his inscrutable face. She took it in both of her own and brought it down as if to study it. She slowly removed the purple glove.

She surveyed it carefully, as if it was something from another world, a hand that could inflict such cruelty. But his fingers were not boxy or crude. Instead they were strong and graceful, long like the fingers of an artist. She hesitated when she saw the faint outlines of triangular scars under his nails, so much like her more recent wounds from only a few months ago. He seemed to pull back, and she stopped analyzing. She covered his nails with her hand, wrapping his fingertips protectively. He shifted his eyes from their intertwined hands to her flushed face.

He moved his other hand up to her chin, resting his fingers there and slowly running a gloved thumb over her bottom lip. All the breath left her body. She stood utterly motionless, moving her gaze downward to avoid looking up at him, instinctively aware that they were walking on a knife's edge. She questioned herself, anxious thoughts racing through her brain - why had she reached up to touch him? What had propelled her to act this way?

He removed his thumb from her lip abruptly, instead bringing his hands to either side of her head and running his fingers through her hair, drawing it away from her face. The warmth crept onto her skin and spread down through her neck, but when his fingers reached the back of her head, she felt them close suddenly to make fists. He grasped her hair tightly, yanking her head back as he did it, forcing her to look at him. She took a panicked breath, terrified at his furious expression, his lips drawn back like a vicious dog. In the half light inside the van, his eyes looked utterly black and heartless when they met hers. He let out a grunt of frustration and let go of her. She realized he was roughly removing his jacket from her arms, and suddenly felt the cold night air as he pushed her out of the van onto the street.

"Goodbye, kitten," he called, the anger barely hidden under his measured voice. He motioned to the driver and continued standing by the open door, watching her as the van sped away.

The destruction the Joker had orchestrated made travel much more difficult between the two halves of the city. Three bridges had been damaged, but one remained open. People like Annie who had to commute to Upper Gotham for work found it possible but much more difficult to find transportation.

Once again, it seemed like Dent was taking the situation that the Joker had created and making it exponentially worse with his focus on law and order. After the attack on the checkpoints, he had them rebuilt and announced the beginning of a passport system for Lower Gotham. In a matter of days, a special identity card would be required for anyone from Lower Gotham to pass back and forth between the two sides of the city.

Annie had listened carefully to the news, because she immediately recognized a problem. The police would be issuing the passports. She would have to return to the station, something she was extremely reluctant to do. One day when she was passing through the apartment lobby, she recognized the mayor's voice coming from the small television and stopped to listen.

The reporter asked, "So Mayor Dent, if I want to get this passport and I have a parking ticket, should I be afraid to go to the police station to register for it?"

"No, of course not," Dent replied. The mayor and the reporter had laughed, in a way that only people who had never had more of a criminal record than a parking ticket could laugh about that question. "But those who want to hide anything from the police had better not bother trying to get that passport. If you want to travel freely in Gotham, you need to follow the rules. Those on the wrong side of the law can just stay where they are," Dent said authoritatively.

She felt the weight of his words and knew she was trapped. She couldn't go to the police to get the passport.

Annie felt the walls closing in around her. She was still making it to work, but her commute time had doubled. With the restrictions on travel that would soon become reality, it was clear to her that she would be losing her job.

She didn't know what to expect from the Joker, and after his fury when he had thrown her into the street, she wondered if perhaps he had finally given up on her. She cursed herself for her lack of self-control and the strange affection she felt for him.

And, it was somewhat easier to ignore her feelings, because a new problem was gradually taking all of her attention - she had developed a terrible cough in the weeks since the checkpoints had been destroyed, and it was getting exponentially worse by the day. It was her constant companion, keeping her up at night, taking away her appetite, and making it harder and harder to breath.

She decided that she had to try to make it to the hospital before the passport system restricted her travel. There were no major medical facilities in Lower Gotham, and now with the steady stream of people migrating away from that part of the city, the local clinics were closing without staff to operate them.

She got off the bus, happy to have finally arrived at the hospital. The cold breeze on her face felt refreshing after the hot, crowded bus, but as soon as the bitter air hit her lungs, a coughing fit began that doubled her over and forced her to stop walking. She recovered quickly, though, entering the lobby of Gotham General. The always-bustling hospital was even more crowded today, as the usual emergency room area had overflowed into the main lobby and several folding tables had been set up to handle the crowd. Everyone was afraid that Lower Gotham would be completely cut off from Upper Gotham and its hospitals, prompting people like Annie to come and receive care before that happened.

She got in line at the nearest table, trying to stay focused on the reason she was here in the turmoil of the busy room. She finally came to the front of the line, where she found two men, clearly stressed by the onslaught of people. The first one pulled out what looked like a checklist and invited her to sit down. "What are your symptoms?" he said promptly. She explained the constant coughing, but not being used to seeking medical care, didn't know exactly what to say that would point out the seriousness of her illness. The other man took out an oxygen monitor and placed it on her finger, getting a good reading on her levels. The two men looked at each other, deciding her fate.

The younger man filling out the checklist looked down and seemed to be tallying whatever he had recorded. "It looks like you don't qualify to be seen right now, but we would encourage you to come back in a week if your symptoms don't improve."

The polite sentence turned her stomach. She spoke hesitantly, even though she felt that the answer could be a matter of life and death for her. "I'm sorry, but I may not be able to travel here again after the passport system starts… this may be my last chance," she explained. The older man pulled the younger aside and asked Annie to excuse them for a moment.

"Did you hear her cough? She may have pneumonia, and you know how that could turn out if she doesn't get back here when it gets worse," said the older man quietly but urgently to the younger.

The young man pulled out the checklist, scanning it again. "We have to go by the rules, for everyone, that's the only way this is fair. You know that we are full for today anyway. We can't just keep squeezing people in. She scores under the urgent status, so she can't be seen."

"So what if she's really sick and wants to come back in a week. What if she's some gangster's girlfriend down there in Lower Gotham and he won't let her go to the police station to get the passport. What then? She's gonna die of pneumonia at whatever age she said, was it 27? And that's on us."

"We can't break the rules for one person, it's a slippery slope."

"Ok, Chris, but I'm taking my break. You go tell her no, I don't want any part of it."

The younger man came back to the table, sitting down slowly, clearly bringing bad news. "I'm sorry, miss, we only have room for urgent status patients today and you don't score in that range. Please come back next week if you are still having trouble and we will look at it again."

His repetition and controlled voice made it clear to her that he was not going to change his mind. She rarely expressed her anger, and she didn't do it in any obvious way now, but she gave him a cold stare as she stood up from the chair. She underestimated the power of her icy blue eyes. Her look of betrayal and hatred stayed with him, haunting him in the coming weeks.

She woke up, not knowing if it was morning or evening. Some sun shone through the windows into the messy apartment, but she couldn't remember when she had fallen asleep. She had given up most of her daily routine, and trash littered the floor. She had been here for a week now, since she had returned from her failed trip to the hospital. Her illness had worsened quickly after that outing, and she was no longer able to commute to work. Yesterday, she had received the call she knew she would be getting - Gotham Culinary had let her go due to her absence from her shifts.

She laid back down, her head spinning from recognizing her situation. The Joker's destabilization of Gotham certainly had given her more time, because the authorities were finding it harder and harder to extend their reach into her region of the city. However, at some point, the apartment manager or even the police would come remove her from the building. The movement of people away from Lower Gotham and the closure of businesses meant that it would be impossible to find other work. And entering Upper Gotham without a passport was now impossible.

The cough that had been nagging her for weeks broke out with particular ferocity, wracking her body and contracting her ribs painfully. She knew that there was no way she could get to the only open medical facilities in the city now, all in Upper Gotham. She had seen posters when she visited the hospital about mobile clinics traveling to Lower Gotham, but she knew they wouldn't show up near her for weeks.

And then there was the other thing - the Joker might return. Anything was possible with his mercurial personality. She had hidden her weakened condition from the men stationed outside, afraid that he might come to check on her. She tried to regain her composure and stifle her cough every time she left the apartment.

After her encounter with the Joker in the van, she was even more frightened of him, and she realized, also frightened of herself. How could she have been so brazen to reach her hand up to touch his hair? Why had she done that? Even now, part of her knew - part of her soul seemed to warm, thinking of the gentle pressure she felt when he had reached up and held her hand. She quickly snuffed the feelings out, her mind focusing on finding a way to avoid meeting him again.

She looked around at the small apartment. One thing was for sure - she didn't want to die here, a possibility that was seeming more and more real as her illness debilitated her day by day. She made the decision - she would walk out, walk into the depths of the Gotham winter. Somehow it seemed more free, more dignified, than the Joker's men finding her cold body days or weeks from now. She shuddered thinking of it.

She put on the boots reserved for her commutes to work and her long winter jacket. She knew she wouldn't last long, but tried to plan well, dressing warmly, wearing a hat, and taking some small provisions in her pockets. She didn't really want to admit to herself what she was doing - choosing her own death rather than letting it overtake her slowly.

She still locked the door behind her, instinctively, and slid the keys into her pocket. She didn't know if the Joker's men might be watching her from a distance - they usually weren't just outside her door these days, but she knew they were likely around somewhere. But that didn't matter, they would just think she was going out on an errand.

She maintained control of her emotions, walking out onto the unplowed streets. She quickly felt she had chosen correctly - the quiet beauty of the city covered in snow, with hardly any cars or vehicles, and very few pedestrians even, was exactly what her eyes had been craving. Many people had left this area since the food crisis and now the new passport system, and the terrible weather was keeping those who remained inside today.

The emptiness in front of her reminded her of bleak winters upstate as a child, when she was sometimes able to wonder off on her own and explore the broad fields and scraggly fencerows. As she embarked on the journey, though, the cold air began to tear through her lungs, making it harder and harder to breath. She felt an ominous rattle in her chest every time she exhaled. Her legs also felt much weaker than usual, and she quickly ran into trouble navigating the foot-deep snow all around her. It was the normal level of cold for Gotham but a surprisingly generous amount of snow.

Still, she felt somehow freer, having made a decision and leaving her destiny completely up to fate. She looked around her in all directions, realizing it made no difference which way she went. A quiet laugh escaped her, just from the absurdity of her hopeless situation. She couldn't see where the streets ended and the roads began with the fresh cushion of snow. She picked up her foot, closed her eyes, and half-spun around, letting it land wherever it would. She then followed that path, trudging through the empty whiteness of the abandoned streets.

Based on her condition, she was surprised at how far she made it. She just kept struggling against the snow as if she was fighting her own personal demons, until she simply couldn't anymore. She let herself fall back into its soft embrace, keeping her head and chest up by leaning back on her elbows until she was finally too tired for that too and let her head simply fall back into the waiting snow.

Memories flooded into her mind from the past, mostly of her childhood. Bleak as it was, she recalled moments of happiness too and smiled at the simple joys of early life. She thought over the more recent past and her endless struggles to claim some little piece of life in Gotham. Never-ending commutes to party venues, endless labor that exhausted her - why had she done it? The answer eluded her, turning into mist like many of her thoughts now were.

A flash of color illuminated her mind - then there was him - she had finally come around to the Joker. He travelled across her thoughts like he had strode into the ballroom that night - purple clad and with that red smile, reaching up all the way to the dark unreadable eyes. They flashed with such a fire - in her mind's eye, she began to see the flames crackling through the windows of the burning penthouse, after she had regained consciousness in the alleyway. Those warm flames, too dangerous to touch, but so beautiful, consuming everything… She felt suddenly warm, recalling how warm she had become when the Joker put his jacket around her, the heat seeming to enter her skin and travel all the way to her bones.

Why had she pushed him away? Didn't she want him to hold her, didn't she love feeling the pressure of his body on hers? She had struggled so hard against it - she smiled at her own foolishness - the only streak of color to ever enter her life, and she had run away from it. Now, she could let go, she had no reason to force away her tortured emotions. It was the end of her life. She held his fiery eyes, the sound of his voice, the texture of his clothes, she held them in her mind and dwelled on them, at last letting herself relish the thought of him and freely watch the greedy fires. She really did feel very warm. She managed to pull off her hat and unbutton her jacket, but her freezing fingers and exhausted body lost the ability to move further. She fell back again, her open eyes matching the unbroken blue of the winter sky. But in her mind, she saw only flames.

When his men let him know she left the apartment and had not returned that evening, it was as if he knew what had happened intuitively. He arrived outside her building within minutes. The cold, clear air filled his lungs, giving him new energy. The dark purple of his jacket stood in stark contrast to the pure white of the snow as he stopped there in the streetlight. The condensation of his breath hung momentarily in the air like smoke and the only sound was the muffled crunch of the snow under his feet.

He knew that time was limited. His men arrived. "Smith - take the route to Upper Gotham - Lutz - walk toward the shoreline - Fletcher, go toward the nearest store…"

He ordered them to follow all the logical paths that she might have traveled. He stood outside the apartment building in the snow, having dispatched his men and knowing she could be difficult, maybe even impossible, to find, especially with this sudden wind that had picked up, erasing her footprints.

Night had fallen and with it the brutal winds that sometimes tore through Gotham in the winter. Like a wolf tracking prey, he searched the white horizon with his keen eyes. He could see nothing, no indication of where she had trudged through the deep snow. It had eaten her tracks back up. He closed his eyes, pausing for a moment - and took a step. He had sent his men on all the paths that made sense - he would take this one that fate had simply chosen for him.

He began the trek straight ahead, shielding his face from the blowing snow that the wind had picked up. His hair blew freely, but his gloves and coat provided enough warmth to keep him going. He ploughed ahead, growing more and more concerned that no one had found her yet. He didn't think she would get this far.

Then he saw it - the black material of her jacket, visible above the white horizon. He ran over to where she lay, his eyes opening wide. She was reclined, with snow now freely blowing over her and inside her open jacket, her hair strewn out in hazel strands, contrasting with the blank white of the snow. Her eyes were open, and her face was completely peaceful - the slightest smile was formed on her blanched lips and the usual stress that animated her features was gone.

If he were a kinder man, he would have left her there, in peaceful repose. But he was not a kind man.

He kneeled beside her and began to slap her face - first gently, and then more severely. "Annie! Come back to me!" he commanded, his voice echoing emptily in the deserted streets. He shook her body, trying to see if any life was left there. The tiniest twitch of her expression showed him that there might be hope. He tried to brush what snow he could off of her, and lifted her up like a child. He walked with long strides, seemingly oblivious to the depth of the snow, to the nearest building. It looked uninhabited. He took the gun out of his jacket and broke the glass with the handle until it was completely out of the way, and stepped inside. It looked like an abandoned hair salon. He set her down as gently as he could in a large chair.

He was on the phone. "Yeah, get the helicopter, that's what I said. Gotham General, that's right. The southeast wing, I want everyone out but the doctors and nurses." He hung up, looking at her and wondering what he could do. He had gotten them out of the wind, that was something. He took the gun out of his pocket and placed it in his waistband on his back, quickly taking off his coat and wrapping it around her.

She began to stir, her expression slowly turning from peaceful to confused. "Where am I?" she asked hoarsely.

"You're… safe. You're with me, I'm taking you to the hospital."

Her confusion only seemed to grow. "I can't see very well."

"It will get better," he said, standing above her, alarmed to see the blue eyes darting back and forth but happy to see her begin to come back to herself. The effort of talking suddenly sparked a coughing fit, and her previously still body rocked with raspy coughs.

"Jesus, Annie," he murmured under his breath. The coughing finally ended.

"How did you find me?" she asked.

"Just by chance," he answered.

He ran to the blown-out window. He heard the helicopter he had expected in the distance. His men were lucky they had been able to come through for him.

"Ok, let's go," he said. Her confusion only grew, but she had already given up to fate when she stepped out of her apartment that day. She simply let him hand her limp body over to the man in the helicopter. The Joker followed after her, stepping in just as the helicopter took off again, lifting off of the white blanket of snow and leaving Lower Gotham behind. Her vision was blurred, but she could hear the rotors and feel the movement of the chopper as they sped over the city toward Gotham General.

The chaos in the southeast wing of the hospital had calmed somewhat by the time they arrived. Most of the staff and patients had been moved to other sections of the building. Things seemed to be in general disarray as they wheeled Annie down the hall. The Joker let them take her to a room to assess her condition. He knew they'd need to start IV fluids and probably antibiotics immediately.

After a short time, the staff seemed to finish their work and were filtering out of the area. The Joker strode into the small room, the remaining staff staring at him, terrified. They quickly slid along the walls to the exit, and he did nothing to stop them. He closed the door after the last one departed and looked at her. She was awake, staring up at the ceiling. He sat in the visitor's chair near her bed.

"Annie, don't go on any more of these vision quests please," he said in a frustrated voice. "Was it worth it? What did you see?" He sat back in the chair, reclining. "Did you see the angels coming down for you?" He put his hands together and fluttered his fingers like a child imitating a butterfly.

She focused on speaking with significant difficulty.

"I saw you."

Saying the words seemed to exhaust her and she closed her eyes.

It was his turn to be silent. He reached over toward her hand lying so peacefully on her chest, and then seemed to have a second thought and drew his arm back suddenly. Her eyes remained closed. He got up. "Ok, kitten, I'm going to make sure they take good care of you. I have to go now, it's a … liability for me to be here. We'll figure out a way to get you out when you are better.

"Listen, this is your id and wallet. You are Sarah Lilton now. You need to keep yourself anonymous, or else you'll become collateral. Sarah can disappear when you leave here, and that way you don't have to. Do you understand?"

She nodded her head, too tired to speak more.

He placed the wallet under her shoulder and slipped out of the room.

He strode down the hallway to the nurse's station where he had told them to gather hospital staff. Several of his men were there corralling the staff and doctors into the area.

"Who's in charge here?" said the Joker, and was greeted by silence. It was clear to him who the others were trying not to look at. "It must be you, Dr… - what's your name?"

"Dr. Breall." the man said stiltedly. The Joker rolled two of the nurses' chairs to face each other.

"Ok, Dr. Breall," he said in a sing-song voice. "Why don't you have a seat and update me on Miss Lilton's condition?" He sat down and quickly motioned for the doctor to sit in the other chair.

Dr. Breall licked his lips nervously and took his place in the chair. "It looks like… it looks like she does have hypothermia, which is a serious condition but she is conscious - it's likely she'll come out of it. The pneumonia she likely has is more difficult - her age will work in her favor, and antibiotics should bring her around, but she is close to septicemia with how extensive the illness is… there are no guarantees in medicine…"

The Joker had the knife out in the next second, moving it from one hand to the other, feeling the blade with his fingertips. "You know, Dr. Breall, I'm very familiar with the outsides of bodies. I know exactly where to cut for a slow death or a quick one. I might make a great surgeon actually - you know, let's find out." The rage grew in his voice as he continued: "How about if she doesn't get better, I'll get those nurses over there to help me, and we'll cut you open so I can see how the insides work. Maybe I'll rearrange things a little. We'll do an experiment - we'll see how long you stay alive." He closed his mouth and opened it again, sucking his cheek to make a loud pop that was especially unsettling. "Got it?"

"Yes, got it," the man said, sitting up a little taller. The Joker motioned to him to get up by flicking the knife. The doctor began yelling orders to the nurses, running down the hallway to her hospital room.

The Joker, a slow smile beginning to appear on his face, walked down the hallway to the exit. He'd abandoned the helicopter, knowing the police would now be looking for it. He had a nondescript car waiting below that wouldn't be noticed in the mass exodus from the hospital.

(The purple ink turned out to pretty much be pink, which was not what I was hoping for, but I did fix the auto focus this time. )

Additional notes: Fun fact, I actually had pneumonia when I wrote some of the scenes from this part a couple of months ago. Fully recovered now!

This is fanfic, so of course I don't own any characters from The Dark Knight (Joker, Batman, etc.). The main female character is original.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Just started Medjed arc of P5R; here are my current thoughts on the characters I know so far:

Joker: Look, I know people say he's a "self-insert" but I really, really see a few very distinct personality traits in him. He's lost in thought a lot. He zones out. He's really goal-driven. He's clever. He's a risk-taker. He's wary of consequences. He takes a little while to trust people, especially adults. He's suspicious and easily annoyed. He's on your side. He wants to help. He's a snarky little shit. His compassion is as much his defiance as his bitter disdain. He's hesitant. He's confident. He's bluffing. His respect is earned. His assistance isn't. He's free. He's chained. He's larger than life. He's a dumbass dork of a teenager. Incredibly fun character to play as, 10/10. I love that you can actually see him becoming more confident as time goes on. His dialogue options also become sillier/snarkier/more teasing as he becomes closer with people. It's just fun. I have a lot more thoughts on him but I'm going to stop here. I'd love to do a bit of an analysis on him once I finish the game - I'd like to go back through his main story dialogue options and his idle and specific scene animations. Plus, they seriously popped off with his character design. There's so much I could say about that alone.

Ryuji: Ryuji, my beloved. I wish you were less horny in uncomfortable ways in some scenes - I think, as well as Atlus not knowing what teenage girls are like, they also have not... spoken to people raised by single mothers, or mothers who got out of an abusive relationship... but anyways, asides from that, I love Ryuji. I think his desire for popularity makes a lot of sense - he's only ever stood out in a bad way. He just wants to be liked, you know? And he doesn't think he's enough the way he is. He's trying his best. I need him to shut up so bad but also I hope he never shuts up, you know. He's genuinely so funny, and he's the most ride or die of anyone. Ryuji gets angry on everyone's behalf when they can't muster up their own anger yet. Everyone say thank you, Ryuji.

Morgana: I do not get the hate for this not-cat; he's so funny to me. He's becoming a little more aligned to the thieves' morality, which is probably for the best since at the beginning he was definitely down with accidental murder and totally open about his pragmatism. He actually encourages this in Joker. It's just funny. I love my emotional support not-cat bestie who sits in my desk at school then tells me to go strike shady deals with random people in back alleys. You can definitely see a change in Morgana though; he's becoming more excited about helping people for the sake of it (like Joker, he too has gained purpose), but he's also becoming more insecure.

Ann: She remains my favourite of the Thieves. If Ryuji is the original drive and Morgana the original method, then she is the original conviction. The strength to stand with victims. The desire to force those who hurt others to understand the feelings of said victims. She has the rawest fucking lines at the end of the Kamoshida arc. She loves Shiho so much, and I really feel like her and Joker are on the same page when it comes to things deeper than their surface level interests. Get you a friend like Ann fr. It's a shame that later scenes have her mostly just getting mad at the guys when they uhhh... act like horny guys towards her. Feels bad man, especially because I love the aspect of her character that wants to be more comfortable with her sexuality and have that be on her terms. <- That's really cool, actually! Why couldn't we do more with that...? As a note though, I seriously love her admiration towards female cartoon villains and that one mean girl model. I think that's so funny and also such a mood. I do not believe for one second that Ann is straight. I hope she becomes the sexy and confidant morally-ambiguous thief of her dreams, and also that she gets a girlfriend. It's what she deserves.

Yusuke: He's so dramatic. Do you expect me not to love him? I really loved his conflict during Madarame's arc - those revelations were absolutely brutal, and Yusuke really handled things well, all things considered. Again, like Ann, there were some raw lines in there. But then, of course, the slump on the other end, when the adrenaline wears off. That Yusuke's painting only showed the dark side of desire tells me that he is still grappling with the effects of all these reveals. He has a lot to process.

Makoto: I just think she's so cute. Her design is adorable. She's such a sweetheart. On the flip side though, while I don't find her as intimidating as the game seems to, I definitely would not want her mad at me. While, as I mentioned before, I found the lead up to her joining the thieves to be a little janky, the actual moment was great. I love that she has a support system now. She really needed that. I hope there are more scenes with her in group settings tbh. While I'm enjoying her one-on-one dynamics with Ryuji and Ann, I do feel like she doesn't really... gel with the group as well as, say, Yusuke did. I think they need to drag her out to more activities lol.

Sojiro: I still don't know yet? He seems like the tough love sort. I do enjoy getting to learn random coffee trivia from him, and it seems like he cares in a kind of gruff way. He also gets a lot of suspicious people coming by. Guess I'll find out more later.

Maruki: Again, I don't know much still. He's endearing and dorky. That salt bae thing still lives rent-free in my head. I feel his frustration with not being able to help more. I get it man. I will say though, the fact that we get to see scenes with the thieves and Maruki, with no Joker present, is... odd.

Kasumi: I... I don't know how to feel. She's too nice. She's too polite. All of her scenes are so weirdly convenient. I like her just fine, but there's something seriously off. I almost feel like she's an outlier on purpose, like she doesn't blend into the world. Unlike Maruki, who is new to Royal but blends into the story quite nicely, Kasumi really stands out, to the point it kind of feels like that was the intention. She is adorable, though, I won't deny that, and I do want her to succeed and all, I just... hm. I don't know how to feel about her.

Akechi: I could fix him (smack him upside the head). <- okay but seriously, he is so obviously suspicious, he so obviously knows about Joker, he's such a smarmy little shit. I would despise him irl, but he's absolutely the funniest character in the game right now. Everything he says has me either cackling or my jaw dropping at the fucking audacity. He's also really interesting to me. Love a character whose every line means three things rolled into one. He feels dangerous and weirdly endearing at the same time. What the hell is his problem (affectionate + derogatory).

Yoshida: YOSHIDA MY ABSOLUTE BELOVED. I love him so far. He's my favourite confidant right now. He just makes me so happy man I love him so much. Yoshida takes the hard road and he's got the conviction, but you need support from people to really turn your life around. Hey, that's kind of what the game is about, yeah?

Takemi: Oh I love her confidant so far. I don't know that she's one of my favourites, character-wise, but I was especially taken with her dedication to that medicine, and Joker's response to her saying that she doesn't suit everyone coming to her for medical help by countering her with an "it suits you". Very sweet. I'm getting close to finishing her confidant; I just need to level up charm.

Mishima: I'm almost done his confidant too! I actually enjoy Mishima's character. I feel like his downward spiral made a lot of sense, and I like that he's both helpful and made me feel a bit uncomfortable. I especially like that he's pulling himself out of that fame mentality by himself, without his heart being changed. We just gave his shadow something to think on.

Kawakami: Idk how I feel about this, but the perks are good. I'm curious about her though.

Sae: She seems dedicated to her job. Forming a confidant with her during the interrogation was something I did not expect and had me going "ohohoho". But man, some of the stuff she says to Makoto is way out of line... I'm glad she's at least aware as soon as it leaves her mouth, and I cannot imagine the constant stress and scrutiny she's under but... still. Girl. :/

Iwai: I'm going to properly start his confidant soon. He's cool. I feel like he's not nearly as scary as he makes himself out to be.

Ohya: Don't know much about her so far, but she's a disaster, and I will always enjoy a good disaster woman.

Lala: SHE'S PERFECT. I wish there was a mechanic where you could get advice from Lala-chan. She's looking out for everybody. She's good. :)

Chihaya: She told me I'm gonna die... :(

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

8 PM TOMORROW. LETS PARTY. I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED THE JOKER.

by Ensorcellular_data “The Red Hood,” Bruce says. He’s itching for his phone, for the Batcomputer, for the cowl. Gordon has probably already called, damn him for thinking Gotham could survive one morning without him. “Yeah, he’s taking credit for it so I don’t spend the rest of my life getting hunted by weirdos and probably getting clowns ruined for me forever.” Dick, hair mussed from running his hands through it, stops and stares at her. “...You like clowns?” ---- Or: The Batfamily tries to have *one* Internet-free morning. Words: 1114, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: Gen Characters: Reader, Original Female Character(s), Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake (DCU), Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain, Barbara Gordon, Jason Todd Relationships: Bruce Wayne & Tim Drake & Stephanie Brown & Cassandra Cain & Dick Grayson & Reader, Bruce Wayne & Reader, Jason Todd & Reader, Dick Grayson & Reader, Stephanie Brown & Reader, Barbara Gordon & Reader, Cassandra Cain & Reader, Tim Drake & Reader Additional Tags: POV Bruce Wayne, POV Outsider, Self-Insert, POV outsider on self insert, Batfamily (DCU), Batfamily Dynamics (DCU), Identity Reveal, Mentioned Joker (DCU), Dead Joker (DCU), mentioned as in this whole fic is about OC killing the joker. accidentally. you have been warned, Crack, Dark Crack, Batfamily Shenanigans (DCU), Batfamily-centric (DCU), Mentioned Duke Thomas, Humor, Gallows Humor, Murder, yay, murder party - Freeform, Original Character(s), Original Character-centric, Major Original Character(s), Canon Universe, ish, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon is my Playground, Timeline What Timeline, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Canon Divergence - Under the Red Hood Arc, jason is chiller in this universe, Metahuman Reader (DCU), Reader-Insert, Metahuman original character, wayne enterprises secretary reader, what is the difference between reader and self insert. good lord., jason todd isnt in this but he haunts the narrative like the cackling ghost of christmas past, Jason Todd is So Done, News Media, Gotham City-Typical Violence (DCU), Fights, Home Invasion, (mentioned) - Freeform, No Romance, implied jason todd/reader - Freeform, If You Squint - Freeform, the batfamily has ONE internet free morning, gotham-typical clowns, Stressed Bruce Banner via https://ift.tt/RjbakSP

[missfortuneisblue]

"You know, life is such a fickle thing, really. You're born into the world, tiny and fragile, then suddenly you have to figure out what you have to do in life. You don't really have time to process any of your best childhood moments before responsibilities are thrown at you, especially for the few of us who grew too fast. And especially for the ones who had everything ripped away from them at the age of ten.

My parents were ripped away from me. They were my “everything”, as much I was everything to them. I was—am, actually—their legacy. I am what is left. And I don’t have many stories or details of them to talk about. They were simply acrobats trying to make a living from a shitty workplace, with shitty workers and shitty working conditions, and with an even more shitty boss for a ringleader. They were practically nobodies in this society.

And they were murdered by someone who thought their efforts to entertain weren’t good enough.

…Hehehe…

Nobodies…targeted by someone disguised as a functional member of society. And left me behind to deal with the consequences of their actions! How ffff-FUCKED is that?

As much as I hate to admit it…

I suffered. I suffered through a hellhole of emotions, survivor’s guilt, and sense of emptiness from that night for 18 years. I was diagnosed way too late, I was refused to get treatment from my boss because he had the audacity to think I was fine and “would grow out of it” so he didn’t have to waste money on ME, and not a single PERSON—other than my maternal figure—in that whole damn circus thought to ask “Hey, Alice! You doin’ good?”…

NO ONE!

NO ONE!!

…so to answer your question…I joined the Joker for a variety of reasons. For a sense of independence to quit an oppressive job, to finally feel free from my personal madhouse, to satisfy my desire of being my own person and do whatever my heart yearns…

And to give back some of the love that society has always shown me.”

— Allison Morrigan, when asked by an Arkham Asylum psychiatrist why she allied with the Joker.

[pinkkop]

Day 57 - 15 Days BL Challenge (part 4)

Day 57 - Female/non-binary identifying actor you want to see more of in BL or GL

This list seems to have become a mix of my favourite female characters, and actors that I don't want to randomly meet and it's not super surprising 😅 Also I do feel like these actors tell you a lot about me and maybe even more than I realized when writing this list. Like @negrowhat said, I do seem to have a type 🤭

Ji Oh - Yu Na in Semantic Error

It's not often we get actor repeats in Korean, maybe because of the smaller volume of BLs being produced, but either way I want more of Ji Oh. She recently had a side character in Jeongnyeon: The Star is Born in which she definitely proved how talented she is, so pretty please, give me more of her in QLs.

Zorzo - Tiffy in Lovely Writer and Rose in Jack & Joker

I think this might be connected to Tiffy being one of my favourite characters 🫣 She's just really great and I really like what she brings to characters.

Lingling - Fahlada in The Secret of Us and Tawan in Only You (upcoming)

She's gorgeous and super talented and I can't wait for Only You!!

Silvy - The Warp Effect and in Laws of Attraction

Both Silvy herself and her characters are so unapologetically queer and I just love that! She's an amazing actor and singer and she adds some much need colour and nuance to the rainbow we see in QLs.

The original challenge is here, part two here, part three here, and four here.

[dailycass-cain]

Alright, let's take a closer look at the new McFarlane Toys! Batgirl.

First off the design is "inspired" by Batgirl Vol. 2 #1's cover by Jim Calafiore not really Batgirls (as it is listed on the box). Since well Cass's Batgirls design is just different all around.

The figure is just a remold of the original McFarlane Toys Batgirl (Wave 1 "Rebirth"). The only new parts are the head, fabric cape, and the painted bat symbol chest.

So this Cass is gonna be crazy tall I believe.

Interestingly, the bio is all about her old origin with David Cain getting snubbed in favor of Lady Shiva (though why they don't call her Sandra Woosan but only mention her last name on the bio?) 🤨

Her adoption is listed here.

Curiously zero mention of Black Bat or Orphan, or leaving the mantle in '09.

So is her "HEEL" arc. 😑

The package says Batgirls, but 0 Batgirls are named save Cass. We'll probably get a Batgirls two-pack with Steph and Cass (repainted).

Amusingly most of all the figure will ship end of April and will be out in early May. Meaning McFarlane Toys gets this figure out for the character's 25th anniversary.

Final verdict?

McFarlane Toys takes the worst Batgirl design Babs got since 2011 and makes it better. It signals a rush job, but hey first female Bat to get a fabric wire cape?

My gut tells me we're gonna get a Batgirls two-pack. You don't just mention Batgirls and not lay the groundwork for Steph. I'm just surprised the reused mold was the "Rebirth" one and not "3 Jokers" Batgirl.