#joke telling

[bereft-of-frogs]

There’s that post that’s like ‘everyone should get into a tiny niche fandom at least once’ fully agree, that was really fun -- but I would like to add that everyone should get into a fandom where their opinions run counter to major fanon because it really teaches you about sticking to your guns and trusting your interpretation of the text without having to rely on peer validation

because WHAT are people talking about sometimes

[marypsue]

Keep seeing that post where OP starts like 'Thinking about...grieving the undead' and then adds on about like. Real life situations where people have not died but have left your life and you would have reason to grieve them.

All respect, that's an important concept, but that is not what I am thinking about when I read 'grieving the undead'.

[foolsocracy]

this is actually so funny. imagining garth quipping and contributing to the conversation in his head cause he forgot the rest of the teen titans can't pick up on his telepathy

[shut-up-rabert]

Be careful of Asexuals y'all, I heard they aren't fucking around

[doorel]

I’m in my crab era

[notherpuppet]

Alligator tears 🦌 🥲

The beauty of the pumpkin head joke is that the true joke is TELLING the joke to people.

For those who don’t know it, this is the joke:

A man with a pumpkin for a head walks into a bar. The bartender exclaims: “My god, I’m sorry, but WHAT happened to your head?”

The man sighs and says, “So I found a genie in a bottle who granted me three wishes…”

Bartender: “Ok, well what were the wishes?”

Man: “Well, my 1st wish was for 100 million dollars. AND I GOT IT!!”

Bartender: “WOW! Okay…what was the 2nd wish?”

Man: “For the 2nd wish, I asked for the most beautiful woman in the world to fall in love with me…AND I GOT THAT TOO!”

Bartender: “Incredible! So then…what was the 3rd wish?”

Man: “Now see…that’s where I really messed up…

I asked for a giant pumpkin head”

[codecicle]

Whar does rpf mean 💔💔💔

historians aren't quite sure. Albert Einstein's last words were "rpf is fine" and we've been searching ever since

[caputvulpinum]

yeah we might be brothers in christ but so were cain and abel so shut the fuck up before i decide to find a rock about it

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

[hunybody]

you all misunderstood percy’s reaction to nico saying he used to have a crush on percy soooo bad. “percy was offended he wasn’t nico’s type” this “percy is so oblivious” that HOW have we all forgotten that nico literally wanted that man DEAD in the first series. and allowed percy to walk around with kidnapppng amnesia for most of the second. WHY would percy think he was nico’s type AT ALL why ON EARTH would he NOT be oblivious to nico having a crush on him???? he is certain that nico wants him homeless on the street at LEAST

[zealouswitchwerewolf]

Has anyone seen/written any fics where Danny is so used to being an overpowered menace that danger doesn't even register the same for him anymore. Like he's gone against the likes of undergrowth and vortex, he's obviously not going to be intimidated by a middle aged man with sweaty hands pointing a gun at him.

It's all fine until he leaves Amity and starts being put in mildly dangerous situations that don't bother him at all but everyone around him looks super freaked out? And it can range from like being mugged or one of the DC superheroes facing one of their supervillains while all the civilians run away and Danny just keeps going full on ignoring cause not his circus, not his monkeys, but still.

And then he realizes that his reaction is abnormal and people are starting to stare and he doesn't need the extra attention on him but knows he can't act for shit so he just goes for the most deadpan sarcasm he can muster and goes all "oh, nooooo. This is so bad. I am SO scared." And it just makes the stares worse but by then he's committed to the bit and will throw gradually more concerning stuff about his past in conversations with the most dead expression just to see how far he can take it until someone confronts him about it.

[rooolt]

babygirl I’m on all the spectrums

[mbr2]

Colin: why did you write about me in LW? that I don’t know myself?

Penelope: maybe because you came back acting like a fake ass bitch? I’d do it again!

[eugeniedanglars]

buck: i’m so nervous

dean winchester: don’t worry, it’s gonna be okay

*3 hours later*

doctor: your surgery was a success

buck: wait, where’s dean?

doctor: who do you think gave you the bisexuality?

[atti-rambles]

thing i made for a friend to explain the carnies

[actual-changeling]

So, I was rewatching the kiss scene frame-by-frame, as one does, and I realized something. First I thought, well, Alex, you probably saw that wrong, let’s keep going. A minute later, however, I was confronted with the reality of no, not mistaken. 

Maybe I am late to the party and everyone has already seen it and knows about it, but in case there are people that haven’t: Aziraphale not only puts his hand on Crowley’s back, he puts his left one on his waist BEFORE that.

Not just that, he slides it up and also uses it as leverage to pull Crowley closer. I could go through those few seconds one frame at a time, but that would take forever, so I will give you the highlights in chronological order.

His hands flutter around at first and don’t settle anywhere, which is actually really useful since it shows us what the angle for that looks like.

Now, the next time his left hand moves up, look at the progression. It does not go down the same way as before. Instead, it moves inward and against Crowley’s waist. And it STAYS THERE right up until he moves both of his hands away.

Look at the angle!!!! Look at how it moves INWARD and towards Crowley instead of straight down like before.

Still moving towards Crowley with a slight downwards drift because he is aiming for his waist.

Now it is too low for us to see but I think it is very obvious where his hand has settled. Maybe I am going insane after only thinking about this show for almost a month straight. Maybe not. Call me crazy but the angle here is DIFFERENT. The second one very much looks like he is holding onto Crowley.

Aziraphale kisses back. Fully kisses back. Somehow, that wasn’t enough for Michael Sheen, no, he had to fully commit to it and *close his eyes* when he reciprocates, too. Look at this!!! The way his eyes flutter shut when Crowley first grabs him, then open, and then CLOSE AGAIN when he starts holding him in return. Kissing back with his eyes closed and his arms wrapped around him. The last picture is right before he moves his hand to his waist/the frame after the camera angle changes.

Anyone else losing it right now? No? Just me? That’s fine, although I most definitely am not. Fine, that is. Michael Sheen I’m sending you my fucking therapy bills.