#jesus damn that was a while
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#WIP#art#vampire hunter d#vhd#Sorry I realize I've neglected the folks that only follow me on tumblr for a while !! 😭😭😭#mmm and sorry to anyone who follows me in different places y'all are probably sick of it (updated at least...)😭😭😭 forgive me 🥹🫶👐#Sorry I tend to focus on one social media at a time -I post the most liberally on my instagram's close friends#.... anyone is free to join it actually just send me a message there if you want ♡ (๑´• ᵕ •ू`๑)#I do want to make drawings that make people think more deeply - to give D the depth that Kikuchi doesn't allow us hahaha#Mmm.... I like some D jesus allegory 🤤 It kinda works if you think about it#then again stress turns me into a perv🌝 so don't have high hopes for the future - school oughhhh school....#Also I enjoy seeing strangers going like “husband” or what not - you're not oomf??? Who are you 😭😭😭#DW btw I actually really don't care LOL I just think it's funny#I'd rather that then be haunted by private quotes - there's 1 private quote on my Damned D and gosh I'm so curious😭🌝#Also I'm back in school it's my final year and I only got fall semester for my entire senior thesis so I won't be able to post as much..oug
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I squeaked and giggled and twirled my hair so now you will too!!! Here are some young Jeremy Brett pics that make me have feelings
Oh my god?????
#no he's just SO FUCKING PRETTY#the cheekbones??? the jawline???? THE EYES??? KSKDJDKALSLS#im dyiiiing#oh my gooooooooood#im actually peeling my skin off while chewing my organs piece by piece#yes that's how i feel JESUS#god bless men#that meaning jeremy brett#jeremy brett#my man#also his first wife was so pretty too?????#SHE LOOKED SO ELEGANT DAMN#the adventures of sherlock holmes#granada holmes#my fair lady
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I need the people who look at posts talking about Wyll's treatment in both the actual game and especially the fandom and respond with "but i don't like him and I think he's boring" to know that shutting the fuck up is 100% the better option 100% of the time. Him being the only origin character to not have at last 10 hours of content and the existence of mods that literally whitewash him and his dad - among everything else wrong with how Wyll is treated - are not suddenly okay because you, personally, as an individual, don't find him interesting, and your personal individual feelings about him are irrelevant to the issues surrounding his treatment in the bg3 community at large, so like. Stop barging in with your unwanted, unhelpful opinion
#not 3h#wyll ravengard#being daring today and using a non FE main tag because holy shit is this one of the most annoying things fucking ever#had to rant about this because it happens ALL THE TIME in the bg3 fandom i swear to god#person (usually a black person or someone otherwise nonwhite): I think Wyll should have been given more content individual to him#some fuckwit: but he's boring!#person: I think Wyll should have been given more autonomy as a character and not have everything about his arc be up to the player#fuckwit: but he's BORING!!#person: I think it's strange how antagonistic we the player HAVE to be towards Wyll many times especially compared to the other companions#fuckwit: BUT HE'S BORING!!!#person: I think it's problematic that Wyll is constantly connected to his abuser in promo material when no one else is connected to theirs#fuckwit: WYLL IS BORING THO!!!!#person: I think it's unfair to people who like Wyll that bugs that have been around for multiple patches are only now getting patched#(while characters like Asta/rion get even more content on top of already having a shit ton)#fuckwit: BOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIING!!!!!#person: I think the fandom treatment of black Wyll fans who want more Wyll content is racist#fuckwit: HE'S SO BORING!!!!!!#person: People making mods that turn Wyll white/have you beat up *only* Wyll/give Wyll's content to white characters is racist#fuckwit: BUT HE'S SOOOOOOOOO BORING!!!!!!!#like holy SHIT shut the fuck up. that is SO not the damn point.#Fandom Be Normal About Characters of Color Challenge (IMPOSSIBLE) (FAILED) (I ENDED UP BEING RACIST???)#go back to eating Asta/rion's toe jam or whatever the hell his fans do jesus fuck
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Today I got to have an entire 3 message long dm convo with Alex Hirsch. I am never getting over this high.
#Alex Hirsch#this is the greatest day of my life#I even managed to show total decorum#didn't even use any words like decorum#I wanted to. but I didn't.#didn't even use the word macabre. wanted to do that too. I used normal words that normal humans use#as to not sound like a complete and total tool#hopefully ahfkajgkkak#I restrained myself to only saying 3 messages bc any more than that and I'd have to publically execute myself for overstepping boundaries#and I didn't even use any key smashes! and only One socially acceptable emoji.#I can't stop myself from using emojis entirely. those are a disability accomodation at this point ahfkjskgjskgjak#hey are these normal things to think#I think so#I got his twitter message directly at the start of my train ride and I've been processing my emotions for the rest of the trip#I keep nearly flagging down the train attendants to be like 'hiiii can I tell you about the good news :) not in a jesus way I promise'#but once again: restraint 🙏#you're WELCOME train attendants#it was so funny though Alex was like 'lemme know what you want to have grunkle stan say!'#and even when given permission to talk I was like damn he's going to kill me if I send a message#but I sent it#and he was very very nice#and will be sending me the grunkle stan recording tomorrow (✷‿✷)#work is going to be physically impossible tomorrow#sorry customers please pardon me while I run to the produce cooler and scream at the top of my lungs for 20-30 minutes#fluffle talks#what's the opposite of emotional devastation. bc I'm that right now.
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me and my friends were discussing a dumb personality quiz thing which led to me being told that i'm "the least anxious out of all of us" and "generally very down to earth and relaxed" and that "my version of dangerous thoughts on a bender is just to make TMNT fanart" and im sitting here like
... me?
#damn i really dont tell you guys shit huh#things to talk to my therapist abt ig#i protested to being told that im not an anxious person#and a friend refuted with “oh well the most dangerous thoughts youve ever had while on adderall”#“is making new TMNT AUs”#“as opposed to ME who does X--”#and im like#ok well first of all i take a very low dose of adderall for#you know#adhd#.... which is not the same context as you were always taking it in#also that#its#thats not really#the case#goddamn is this really how you guys view me?#jesus christ#personal#vent
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Trigun and the 'Bride of Christ'
An additional thought that popped up after my previous post about Triguns heavy themes of Christianity (a somewhat? Part 2?). In this I look at the Vash and Wolfwoods relationship, their opposing views and how that relates to the Christian term 'the bride of christ'. During this I specifically discuss a large spoiler for the series/manga, so readers beware!
I was chatting with some lovely folks on the Vashwood discord server (if you wish to join, click this link!) about Wolfwoods death, and the way it's, well, wedding themed. The wedding themes include the confetti, the way Wolfwoods passing occurs in front of a church, the ringing of the church bell, and the bottle of liquor they share is labelled 'BRIDE' with a cross on it.
All the items come together in a definite way that resembles, in some terrible fashion, the festivities for a wedding. Hell, even after Vash buries Wolfwood, he makes tons of dishes of food, and Livio and him basically have a feast, another thing one does at weddings.
The 'Bride of Christ'
What particularly caught my eye was the bottle with the word bride on it, with a cross. Multiple times within the new testament, the body of the church is referred to as the 'Bride of Christ'. As I've previously mentioned, Vash is regularly set up as a Christ-like figure; his actions and his philosophical values align with a Christian perspective, in his belief in unconditional love and forgiveness (ie, the blank ticket). As well, as that Wolfwood is a Christian preist, this literally makes him a 'bride of Christ'. In a sense, where in the story Vash is pitched as a Christ-like figure, this means that Wolfwood could be interpreted as the 'bride of Vash'. This especially so considering the contextual clues that hint towards a wedding - confetti, church, and church bells.
Acceptance of Christian philosophy
Further adding to this, is that although Wolfwood was a priest, he did not fully ascribe to Vash's view. In fact, the two of them are foils, their beliefs similar- both coming from love and a need to protect, but differing in Vash ascribing to unconditional love and forgiveness, while Wolfwood refuting that such a position can be practically taken (this is, well, I would say a simplified take on their beliefs but thats a different post for a different day). However, by this point in the story, the both of them have very deeply impacted each other. In fact, this is set almost immediately after Wolfwood saves Vash from Knives, which is the the moment where Vash openly forgives Wolfwood and Wolfwood begins his acceptance of Vash's philosophical views; in that specific moment, he accepts his own absolution (explained further in my previous post).
It is exactly in Wolfwoods fight against Chapel and Livio, that Wolfwood fully (or mostly so) accepts Vash's philosophical views, expanding to accept a blank ticket/unconditional love for others. This is seen as he repeatedly chooses not to kill Chapel's hired guns, and even sharply pleading Livio to spare one of them. Indeed, previously at Vash's request, he'll shoot to injure, but he's not really shown to be particularly worried about the bandits, versus here he is actively choosing to minimize harm; exactly like we've seen Vash do, over and over and over again throughout the series. As well, the hired guns literally try to target the orphanage when they've clearly lost, and also kill one of their own when Wolfwood brings him back, telling him that they've just upped their pay- showing that they're not particularly 'redeemable' hired guns that are likely to repent and become good people. And yet, Wolfwood still chooses to try and save them.
He also specifically goes out of his way to not kill Livio, even though killing Livio would severely even out the playing field, and Wolfwood would likely not have likely died as a result. And Wolfwood makes that decision, again and again and again, only focusing on killing Chapel, and Chapel only, since he's the one that is threatening the orphans.
While Wolfwood fights, Chapel derides him on Vash's views, and how Wolfwood has picked them up. Wolfwood, close to death, reviews his relationship with Vash and Vash's philosophy, and refutes the ideology that Chapel believes in, and that he himself has lived under, that they need to kill to survive, (or to save lives) and that Vash's belief in forgiveness and unconditional love is foolish.
It culminates in Wolfwood declaring that he believes in Vash, in his principles, and standing back up to continue to fight, having accepted Vash's Christian philosophy. Interestingly, it's also Christian leaning terminology he uses; both in that he followed Vash, much like one follows the the teachings of Christ, and that he believes in the Vash's ability to change to world with his philosophy, in the same way Christians believe in Jesus's ability to save the world through the gospel.
In summary, Wolfwood chooses to accept and even says he believes in Vash's philosophical views, thereby choosing to accept the possibility of forgiveness and unconditional love, both for himself, as is shown when he saves Vash from Knives, but also for others, and especially with Livio during the scene up to his death. This full acceptance and belief in a Christian/Vash's perspective would then also show that Wolfwood has fully accepted to be the 'bride of Christ', making him not only via contextual cues a 'bride' of Vash, but also within a Christian theological sense a bride of Vash as well.
In conclusion, (ie, TLDR) Wolfwoods death is wedding themed, with confetti, a church, church bells, and a bottle with the label BRIDE with a cross on it. The church is within the Bible called the 'bride of Christ'; as Vash is a christ-figure, and Wolfwood is a priest, this would make Wolfwood Vash's bride. As well, it is just previous to Wolfwood death scene that Wolfwood has accepted Vash's Christian philosophies, signalling his acceptance as the 'bride of Christ/Vash', further perpetuating the wedding theme.
TTLDR: Vash and Wolfwood are married yup 👍
#trigun#trigun manga#trigun maximum#wolfwood#nicholas d. wolfwood#trigun wolfwood#vash the stampede#livio the double fang#trigun analysis#manga spoilers#vashwood#vash x wolfwood#back at it again with trigun analysis...#dude I have like two midterms in a day and here i am. writting about my silly little blorbos#trigun... christian... analysis...#i need to do a post on their philosophical differences because thats a whole fucking bag of cats thats fascinating#is this blasphemous? i feel like it might be a bit. i feel like jesus would be like no no u r right and have a good point#while the church would be like *two shots to the back of my head*#anyways real talk tho my whole reason of writing this is to get people to redo really dramatic christian paintings as vashwood#i feel like some of it might be a bit of a strwtch and then i see then damn bottle again and im like. fuck. nightow u fucker#i feel like he didn't mean it in a gay way but whooo-y baby im gonna take it in a gay way#also whats really interesting is wolfwood in a way worshipping vash a bit and being still unable to see himself as worthy#also lots from wolfwoods pov but its also interesting Vash's own relationship with himself since its a lot of selfhate and negation#anyways! random thoughts#hugin rambles
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You know when you know a person who you could see yourself being friends with if they weren't such a cunt-
#like PLEASE. can you NOT BE AN ASSHOLE?#also this is a coworker of mine and i like to be nice to people right#and this coworker told me “youre being too nice to people”#im being too nice to people? im being nice to them because i can clearly see a lot of them just dont KNOW how things work here.#so i tell them#and im nice to them while doing so because i have social anxiety and if someone talked to me like this coworker does#is probably be struggling with anxiety more#like damn dude#youre not better then them. you sure know more about how things work here#but thats because you WORK here#like JESUS CHRIST. BEING NICE TO PEOPLE ISNT THAT HARD.#stiff talk
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i think the qsmp is very impressive for speedrunning the same love-hate relationship i have with the dsmp in under a year as opposed to the three it took for the other one
#truly the qsmp experience for me was just my dsmp experience but . 10x more intense . qsmp burned bright like a sun and fucking exploded#while dsmp just kinda died out slowly and by then i wasn’t interested in it anw#i think love-hate relationship is the only way to describe it because it’s like . it was incredible . i loved it . i still love it .#i dedicate my free time to working on a wiki for it and i think about the cubitos and npcs often . but jesus fucking christ the toll that#shit took on quite literally the everyone’s mental health . the constant stress and near psychological torment the ccs and admins dealth#with because of an insane lack of rp etiquette planning and communication . they couldn’t even talk to the people they were roleplaying#child death with . what the fuck#and looking back at it now it’s crazy to me just how MUCH happened in such a short amount of time . just constant shit happening . purgatory#lasted two weeks and it still feels to me like it lasted two months i’m so serious . you lived every single fucking moment#etoiles still brings up purgatory when he’s in a particularly stressful ‘damned if i do damned if i don’t situation’ . lord#and STILL i’m glad it happened and it seems like the admins and ccs would pretty much all agree seeing how they act . like even despite#how so much of it sucked . because so much of it was incredible and life changing and just a fucking adrenaline rush of fun .#i don’t want another qsmp 2 as much as i’d love to be optimistic as much as i want to capture the joy of the server’s best momenrs again#christ in hell . pay your fucking workers treat them as actual human beings and act like the international company you are#jay rambles
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I'm catching up on last week's episode of My Stand In before today's new episode and just. My fucking god Joe. STAND UP. GET OFF THAT DAMN GROUND. RISE UP OUT OF THOSE TRENCHES. GIRL GET UP. DETACH FROM MING'S DICK. Yes he's cute and is keeping their house, but he's also out here saying fuck no to couple mugs cause they're not together despite living together for awhile now and like.
Also, Sol keeps irritating me every time he shows up being all "I'm too late again." Bitch you haven't even been invited for like two years. What do you mean too late. Grow up, accept it, and move on.
And Tong needs to fuck right off. Telling Joe he's fucking his way to the top when it's so obvious Joe is NOT doing that and Tong's bitchass so clearly is/did.
Joe really just has all these flop ass men around him and I just. It's just so freaking sad. Sorry boo. I still love you but girl.
I hope Joe 2 grows a spine because I can't keep seeing him be brought down by all these men.
#my stand in#my stand in the series#this is just so sad to see#like Ming did buy the mugs in the end but whatever that's not good enough#and it's really sad Joe thought it was#if Ming didn't say Tong's name while drunk Joe would have been like#omg what a great Christmas#even after getting whole ass dismissed by Ming at the damn lunch he took him to#like Jesus Christ Joe#I need him to grow that backbone and make Ming WORK for it as Joe 2#I need that so bad#get some self esteem my god lol#regular clyde
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"i'm literally never beating the allegations" and then the allegations are that i like skrunkly looking guys
#i'm re-reading my messages in the shit show while watching arcane rn i was so dramatic and for what?#honestly on point for arcane tho#actual quotes from my messages:#'VIKTOR BB BOY OPEN AN EYE AND MY LIFE IS YOURS'#'VIKTOR BB BOY DROP ANOTHER LITERALLY ANYTHING I'M ALREADY YOURS'#'oh damn wait they really made the disabled man an allegory for jesus. oh and he's hot'#'but i mean he was hot to begin with but he's HOT hot'#'heimerdinger dear what the fuck are you on'#'LEAVE HER ALOOOOONNEEEEEE'#'the lesbians are NOT winning this kne boys (gn)'#'every time i try and say that i don't have a type a sopping wet pathetic man pops up and proves me wrong'#'literally cannot beat the allegations this man came on screen and i FOLDED'#<- this one was accompanied with photos of viktor lmao#'and what if i cried? hmm??? what then riot?? will you give me more episodes then??'#anyways can't wait to have more unhinged thoughts about arcane#this show was the first thing i talked to my therapist about outside of an ED just so we know how fucked i get about it#also i forgot jayce's mom was alive????? she's here?????#arcane
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thinking about cherik post paris proposal taking a year long roadtrip around europe before they move to genosha together.
they do touristy things together
being sappy old men
man i’m all angsty rn need me some comfort stat
#jesus the look on his face#WHATS WRONG WITH YOU#bro caught the L word 😧#he looks so in love its making me sick#you know it wasn’t just a crush when he’s still in love with egg head xavier#sorry for saying no one cares about you anymore wanna get married 😻#i just know he was giggling and kickings his feet after that#YOURE SIXTY#side note i would really like to just go somewhere in europe someday#i was going too but then covid happened so 😢#its been 4/5 years damn#☹️#my mental health went downhill during that period its only just coming back up#i need young couples pointing out cherik on the street saying i wish we’re like that in the future#they don’t know 👀#you gotta go through like 5 divorces before you get to that stage#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#cherik#x men#magneto#professor x#xmcu#erik would be yapping about genosha and charles just listening to his husband#they need to be happy once in a while 💔
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Okay children, gather around. It's "Spencer Complains and Acts a Little Mad" Time:
I have been raw dogging life for 1 month without my adhd/depression/anxiety/mood stabilizers medication and without a single Therapy appointment
I haven't left my house in 1 month, I haven't spoken to any of my (in person) friends in over 1 month, I haven't seen my family in 1 month, I haven't seen my bloody cat in over 1 month, I've barely left my bloody room in over 1 month, and I've been listening to my bloody voice almost every day for 1 hour so I can finish editing the bloody podcast for over a month
To top it all of: I haven't had a decent night's sleep in about 4 days now (in which I just don't sleep or I have extremely vivid nightmares with my departed mother and/or scenarios where I die over and over and over again but can't speak to ask for help before it happens - fun for all the family, if you ask me) and I might or might not be completely and absolutely going insane, with only Good Omens season 1 (6/6) and season 2 (5/6) and the existence of Crowley/red haired Fire Pokemon David Tennant Edition being my sole producer of any amount of serotonin
How am I alive? Good question. Beautiful genderfluid demonic content can be some very nice very distracting content for individuals that simp for Fire Type David Tennant Pokemon like myself
I am quite sure my only contact with anything mental health related in the past weeks has been my best friend whom is very very annoying and refuses to leave me the heck alone and whom is a nurse and is working extra time to advice my stupid ass the best she can, bless her heart
So, with my personal nurse's permission, I have doubled my sleeping medication for the night and, as Fall Out Boy once wrote for the song "Alone Together" in one of my favorite albums to have ever been created "Save Rock and Roll": I'll check in tomorrow if I don't wake up dead
#i took so long writing this nonesense for no other reason other than the fact its 2 am and no one makes good decisions at 2 am#that i am actually already feeling sleepy#if my best friend actually manages to give me 1 good nights sleep i will kiss that woman in the mouth and get hitched with her in ibiza#jk shes straight as shit and shes like a sister to me so that scenario is making me cringe but the sentiment prevails#alas dont do drugs unless your doctor tells you to kids#or your nurse best friend#bro im getting so sleepy the word “nurse” aint even looking right anymore#is that even a real word#yes#google says it is#it is not about viking mythology like a thought for about 2 seconds#okay good good nice nice#anyway#i talked about you know what so i have to tag this post for my adhd sake#good omens#crowley#anthony j crowley#david tennant#there#in case anyone cares about a post that mentions crowley for 1 second while in rhe middle of a whole ass sleep drug inflicted rant#lowkey kinda sure ive writen more in the tags now than the damn post jesus christ#hopefully ill be able to have money to buy my medication on the 12th and ill be somewhat mentally stable by the 14th#which means i might actually upload my fanfic next tuesday if my brain is working again#night peeps dont let the bed bugs bite#idk what im saying anymore#my closet just banged by itself and now im scared#sully?#mike?#bo?
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*opens up microwave and takes *him* out, burning myself in the process* IT'S DONE! Meet Bifrons (in his flesh vessel) and also the part of the reason DISC0RD couldn't find Jo and the kids :P
he's also Jo's..."boss"
(how do i draw men, this is is the first "detailed" drawing of a guy ive done help its 5 am and his lips loo weird i cant draw lips)
#DISC0RD P0STING#moots get it#hi moots#*high pitch voice* hi alice!#think im finally getting over my same face syndrome#sort of#eh#jesus fuck how many old people characters do i need#im 18 i don't need that many#well technically discord's like...7?#it didn't manifest into existence until about 7 years ago#and jackie is 20 something#the twins are in their early teens#I LIKE THESE OLD PEOPLE CHARACTERS I LIKE DRAWING WRINKLES ITS FUN#ok 40s not old i mean older characters#that would be an insult to my mom (hi mom plz get back on tumblr i miss u)#i doubt she will#fuck i might as well just stay up its already 5 am#*sips triple shot espresso while watching minecraft boiled one horror mods* i wonder why i'm still awake#*eats a bunch of sugar* its not like i have a bunch of energy#why am i still in the tags pOST THE DAMN POST
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tonight is a night where i am depressed more than normal
#desire mona#hjmtmrmrrrrrrrr angry face#for a while i was like ''damn im rly overreacting to having lunch alone today'' and then realised thats Not What Is Happening#yippeeeeee.#i better feel better tomorrow ive got a bus full of 13 yr olds to monitor#jesus fucking christ#i should get to bed earlier i think#thoughtsing
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"Everything you went through was meaningless." [St Voyager S3 E7: 'Sacred Ground']
#Serving Jesus realness#star trek screenshots#Janeway#iconic that all the aliens are like 'damn....that's crazy....anyway-' about Janeway HEHEHE they're like snickering behind their hands#I would be too honestly if some outsider tried to speedrun my ancient spiritual rituals#Love the vibe of 'this could all be hazing' they're putting out. Also I keep seeing the face paint on the guide woman as like a mic#honestly this woman's fucking hilarious HEHEHE#Janeway: I'm dying. / Alien Guide: We all die someday :) <- lady who just told her to stick in her hand in a poison jar#AHAHAHA THEY REALLY DID HAZE HER...I love these guys they're so nahnahnahbooboo-core#also the refrain 'Everything you went through was meaningless' ..... thinking BIG thoughts about post-voyager voy crew back on earth#I really do earnestly love the gleeful contempt vibe...it just seems so right. In a funny way but also in a way that's deeply true#the feeling of trying to find answers while you universe laughs and says there are none - it's meaningless - but you're welcome to go ahead#and try. If you find God you have the feeling it would just stare at you blankly. Then laugh.#Chakotay: Captain I've been so worried about you! Have you found a solution? / Janeway: Absolutely. I'm going to walk into the death shrine#Chakotay: (internally hysterical) Oh of COURSE!!!! no of COURSE she's going to walk into the DEATH SHRINE!!!!#great imagery in this one <3 folks who love religious imagery (me) will get a kick outta this one <3#anyway I love when star trek does hopeful eps like this...makes me tear up like. Yeah there could be a scientific explanation but that#doesn't make it MORE true or MORE real than the religious one - it's just as valid to believe in the spirits#Also those three old creeps were lovely <3 scared me and I like that! existential dread!
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"do you have to bring up politics on christmas" yes, i do. fuck you
#damn sorry i'm killing the vibe? theyre killing the children. with your fucking taxpayer money#especially christians#i live in a pretty religious area (my family isnt tho) and the apathy from the devout is shocking#how u gonna pray to a dude while u ignore and enable the bombing of his homeland bro#what would jesus think?#god is under the rubble of gaza#anyway yeah being given the cold shoulder bc i started talking abt christmas being cancelled in bethlehem but fuck them#fr tho any advice on how to actually get through to people bc as it is i just piss them off#which isnt constructive ig#palestine#gaza#israel#free palestine#christmas#free gaza#genocide#politics
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