#things to talk to my therapist abt ig

[tangledinink]

me and my friends were discussing a dumb personality quiz thing which led to me being told that i'm "the least anxious out of all of us" and "generally very down to earth and relaxed" and that "my version of dangerous thoughts on a bender is just to make TMNT fanart" and im sitting here like

... me?

[gloriousmonsters]

sometimes i'm like. am i actually a narcissist? just for a moment. then i remember that from the ages of like 12-19 i eschewed all other photographs or more normal forms of decoration to keep a framed photo of myself on either my desk or my bedside table where i could look at it constantly. cuz i thought i looked cute and confident and no it did not occur to me i might like to have a photo of like, a family member or some cool trees or something i just took like 7 years to go huh wait other people don't keep a photograph of themselves on their desks? what do you do when you want to look at yourself go all the way to a mirror??? anyway it wasn't realizing this was unusual that made me stop the photo just got water damage

[companionwolf]

wait what do i make a zine about

ideas are ok if anyone has some

(i think replies to this will be on?

im not sure how that works here)

[myatlantispoets]

Imagine being a student and only having to worry abt studying...couldn't be me

[rainbowtvz]

i just remembered some rly old fandom discourse abt how shipping fran bow with sal from sally face was problematic bc according to the timelines fran would be waaaaay older than sal and he would be a teen and like...... idk if this was prior to chapter 4 but bro is an adult the entire game and his story is being told to us (the viewer/jury) via dreams, and retelling memories.

[beachboysnatural]

My relationship to food is so crazy fr and by that I mean just this side of unhealthy

[snekdood]

No one accepted you and loved you unconditionally and instead of doing it for yourself you take it out on anyone who has figured out how to do it for themselves.

[crazykitsch]

heyy babe! just had a thought abt marc and reader being in the same friend group and they have a friends with benefits thing going and at a party some guy is flirting with her and he gets jealous and there’s an angsty confession🫣

Marc Guiu : killin’ me good

pairing: marc guiu x reader

warnings: none(?) apart from my terrible writing

❝I think of you more than I should, I die when you give me that look. You’re killin’ me, killin’ me good.❞

Recently my .. friend I guess? Well, Marc has been gaining quite a lot of attention from the media. What nobody knows though, is that me and him kind of have a thing going on. I mean we’re definitely not official, it’s more a friends with benefits kind of thing.

It started with one kiss, and then one more came and more and more and we kind of started acting like a couple when no one’s around but then again also not?? Really confusing, I know.

One big thing about being friends with benefits is obviously to not catch feelings. Failed. Can you blame me though? He’s fine, tall, sweet and I can go on for an hour. I don’t think he likes me like that though, im not really a special girl or anything to be honest.

~

GROUPCHAT: la masia 💙❤️ + y/n & liz😒

lamain hoe:

are we still all going to mateo’s party tonight ??

pau cubarsi:

depends if youre all going

liz gf mwah 💋:

im going if y/n’s going 🤷‍♀️

hector 👎:

same thing for marc

y/n:

im coming for liz ❤️❤️

liz gf mwah 💋:

love you bae

marc 🫶:

hi

hector next time i see you i’ll hit you and drag you to the ground

but yes im coming too

lamain hoe:

didnt need to know all that but okay! i’ll see all of you then ig ??

~

PRIVATE CHAT: liz gf mwah 💋 & y/n bae 🎀

y/n bae 🎀:

kill me 🙏🙏🙏🙏

liz gf mwah 💋:

oh

no hi

no good evening

but alright!

want me to get you a therapist?

y/n bae 🎀:

my life is too complicated for a therapist to handle

friends with benefits is the dumbest thing i’ve ever done oh my god how did i fall for him

liz gf mwah 💋:

OOOOOOOOOH

YOU LIKE MARC?!??!?,?

y/n bae 🎀

STOP.

i dont know what to do ☹️

and that party tonight ????should i talk to other guys??? or is that weird???? and would he want to talk to other girls????

i guess theres only one solution: moving to a another country 🎀💌🩷🦢

liz gf mwah 💋:

i mean if you want to talk to other guys you should do it, you could try to get over him if thats what you want

and if you move to another country pls take me with you 🙏

y/n bae 🎀:

thank you queen you’re so wise

~

I’m getting ready for tonight while listening to some music. I can’t stop thinking about marc though.. but I guess that’s a problem for in an hour.

Okay i’m finally ready and hear the bell ring, I look out of my window and see Liz. I run downstairs and open the door. ‘Hi future mrs Guiu!’ she says teasingly, ‘Liz oh my god shut up.’ I reply. I mean not that I wouldn’t like it.. but still.

‘Are you ready to go y/n?’ ‘Yes Liz’ I say and we start walking to the party. Luckily Mateo only lives like 7 minutes away from us. As we enter his house we see Lamine and Hector and greet them. We talk for a bit but then I really needed to go to the bathroom. ‘I’ll be back in a few minutes, bye!’ I say.

I’ve been at Mateo’s house a few time so luckily I know where the bathroom is.

After i’m done I wanted to walk back to where my friends were but then a guy walked up to me. He’s quite tall and attractive.. but nothing next to Marc though.

‘Hey pretty girl.’ he says.. oh my god what do I say!?!?? ‘Hey, i’ve never seen you before’ I reply. I suck at talking to guys oh my god. ‘I’ve never seen such pretty girls in Barcelona either’ ‘Oh really? There are a lot.’ I say, my god y/n am I trying to introduce him to other girls or something?? ‘Hmm I highly doubt it.’ he says and I notice he’s standing closer to me now.

I smile as we hold eye contact but then I look to my left.. from all the people I could see right now I see Marc. Marc Guiu. This world is plotting against me.

I see him looking kind of annoyed? But at the same time upset and mad. What do I do? Do I go after a guy that’s technically just a friend or do I stay here talking to a guy thats actually interested in me? The first option.

‘Sorry.. i’ll be back!’ I say to the guy who’s name I didn’t even get. I walk towards where Marc was walking and see he’s with our friend group.

‘Hi..’ I say. ‘You took long, thought you were making out with someone for a minute’ Liz says and I can see Marc getting more annoyed.. ‘Wouldn’t be surprised at this point.’ Lamine says jokingly and I reply ‘Don’t be mad at me because you cant pull Lamine.’

‘I’m going home, you coming with me Hector?’ Marc says all of a sudden. ‘Oh yeah sure.’ Hector replies. ‘Oh.. ehm, bye Marc.’ I say but he ignores me, maybe he just didn’t hear me.. but then again when the rest of the group says bye he does say something, odd.

A few hours later the party is done and me and Liz walk home. ‘Liz? After I went to the bathroom a guy walked up to me.. we started talking and he seemed interested.’ I say. ‘Oh my god really? Im so happy for you!’ ‘Thank you, don’t think Marc is happy for me though. He saw us and didn’t look too excited for me.. and when we both were back to our friendgroup he also looked annoyed and ignored me.’ I say. ‘You know what that means right y/n?? He likes you.’ You see, I really love Liz.. but sometimes she IS delusional because there’s no way.

The next day I wake up and luckily it’s still weekend. I open my phone and decide to text Marc since we were supposed to hang out today.

~

PRIVATE CHAT: marc 🫶 & y/n 😺

y/n 😺:

hi marc

are we still hanging out today ?

marc 🫶:

dont know

wouldnt u prefer to hang out with that ugly, shrek looking guy?

y/n 😺:

wdym?

is that why you didnt talk to me at all yesterday?

please reply ☹️

~

Fuck. He’s leaving me on opened. Now a smart woman would take this as a sign to leave him alone and move on. Yet I am not that intelligent so I decide to text Hector.

~

PRIVATE CHAT: hector 👎 & y/n 🦭

y/n 🦭:

hiiiii bff!

hector 👎:

since when

y/n 🦭:

since now.

look you and marc are besties right

and you love me right😁

hector 👎:

no

y/n 🦭:

oh

well ..

would you be so kind to tell me why marc is so upset with me all of a sudden

hector 👎:

not saying marc said anything to me, but imagine if a guy you really liked started flirting with other girls all of a sudden 🤷‍♀️

y/n 🦭:

OH

~

What do you mean Marc likes me? What the fuck should I do now??? Okay you know, fuck it i guess i’ll just go to his house.

Ten minutes later i’m walking to his house and think about what I should say to him. Before I know it i’m there and knock on the door. ‘Okay girl, you got this.’ I say to myself.

His mom opens the door, okay atleast it’s not Marc. ‘Hi y/n! Marc is in his room.’ she says, ‘Hi, thank you’ I say as I walk in. ‘He seems a bit upset.. maybe you can cheer him up?’ his mom says. ‘Yeah I noticed, i’ll try.’ I say and I walk to his bedroom. Okay girl you got this just knock on his door and tell him how you feel.

I knock on his door and walk in ‘H- Hi Marc..’ I say, god why do I do these things to myself. ‘Hm? What do you want?’ he says. ‘Uhm.. I..’ I say, I can’t find the words to tell him how I feel. ‘Continue.’ he says. Okay this is my chance, don’t fuck up. ‘Look, long story short.. I do not want to be friends with benefits, as a matter of fact I.. I do not want to be friends at all. I like you. As in more than a friend and more than a friend with benefits way.’ I say and only now I realize what I just said. I hope he really does feel the same.

Marc is silent for a minute and right when i’m about to freak out he says ‘I like you too. I don’t want to be friends with benefits anymore either.’

‘Then.. lets not be.’ I say. ‘Y/n, will you let me be your boyfriend?’ He asks and that question sounds unreal to me. I never really expected Marc to ask me that. I reply ‘Yes, i’d love that Marc.’

I smile at him and hug him, he grabs my waist. ‘Were you jealous? back at that party?’ I ask him, ‘How could you tell?’ he says while laughing like it wasn’t obvious. ‘You’re not the best at hiding your emotions.’ I say. ‘Can’t help it when someone flirts with you, don’t like it when you give other guys attention.’ he says. I laugh and say ‘I won’t from now on.’

His mother walks towards the stairs and shouts ‘Y/n? Are you staying for dinner tonight?’ I smile, look at Marc and say ‘Yes i’d love to!’

A/n: Hellaurrrr pookies,, im a bit slow I apologize but im trying my best to work on all requests!! Hope you like it 😜🫶

[rantz-for-st0ry]

ig the good thing about making a research doc (which I'm dubbing as 101s) for the aforementioned person is that, now, ppl cant fake claim me for allegedly not doing research and just googling the disorder, looking at "silly websites" and relating to a few of the symptoms listed!! a thing I actively advise against!! I got receipts on my years of research into DID now!! I got sources I can fuckin cite!

most of this rant is in the tags cus I didn't wanna clog up my complaining Abt this person post w my "fake claimers r fucking stupid" rant

never befriend ppl w a names. it never goes well. /vvvlh /silly (as in I mean no real offense to ppl w a names)

[obitobi-simp]

Jonin obito Au but obito is still a freak

Imagen obito manages to free himself from madara by going inbetween that chidori and being there earlyer he get's coma but he lives

Memory ussus and a lot of CPTSD he's fine anyone woud think he's normal now but he isn't

He's legaly still dead cuz no one ABSOLUTLY NO ONE wants to deal with the absurd amount if paiper work so he legaly is still dead and he abuses the heck out of it and will bring it up every opertunaty he gets

Ppl don't notice he's a freak untill he starts open his mouth and say some wierd fucked up shit like as if he's talking about the waether

Obito: Yaeh the uchiha massacer was wild i got there in time to watch that shit go dowen i was so glad to always have popcorn in kamui

Sasuke : so you didn't nothing while this happned

Obito: sasuke pls i'd never and I didn't do nothing i sat there and watched it while eating popcorn and thinking ' damm didn't know bodys coud move like that'

Sasuke: WHY AREN'T YOU DEAD INSTAD

Obito : many reson ig ? I mean legaly speaking i actuly am dead alrady Oh also i can phase through things and can't realy kill what can't be hit yk

He has nughtmares about " an ugly stinky old witch very ugly and stinky"

Whoever thought giving him 3 genin kids to look after is just as mentaly deranged as obito but dw kakashi us there too cuz legaly it's his team and oh damage controll cuz obito get's urges to be an unhinged problem if he doesn't take his meds and therapy( his therapists need therapists and or are scared of this sweetie with 42 underling mental issus cuz ge's tottaly normal most of the time exept when he isn't)

He's very sweet happy and still a stalker but he has a heart of gold an wierd 10 tailed mini dog thing with 1 eye and a spiral thingy that showes up from time to time obito doesn't know what these things are or where they are from but since they pass the vibe cheack they can stay

Wierd shit happnes to him atlest once a week

Imagen this obito meets the other obitos somehow the convo they have in my head

They all magicly aper on the battlefiel of the 4th shinobi war

Jonin obito on the 4GNWW with other obito variation : WHAT THE HECK WHY DIES THIS WIERD SHIT ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME I PROB STARTED A WAR IN MY PREV LIFE OR SOMTHING

White haired (unhinged completly lost it and gave up on sainaty) obito : uhh abt that So who wants to tell him ? 🙂

Tobi: ughh-

All obitos : SHUT THE FUCK UP TOBI NO ONE CARES

(Any obito): not only that (casuly lists all massacers and acts of terrorisem he comitted and or was involved in) 😐

Jonin obito : yaeh sounds like somthing i woud do in theses situations🤔 what why are you all I all ? staring

War arc obito : i fucking hate you go kill yourself or somthing 😠

Jonin obito : Hey what the heck did i do ? ALSO I'M YOU LIKE WTF ?!

White haired obito that got more sane after the war: well we coud just blame everything on trauma but thanx to you fucking asshole we now gotta face the realaty with the fact we are just inhersntly insane with or without being manipulated into it thank

Tobi : wow they hate you more then me

Silance...

Madara finaly : WHAT IN THE EORLD IS GOING ON ?! I HAVE A FEW QUESTIONS?!

Jonin obito jumping on his AU kakashi shoulders : AGAAAAAA THE UGLY WITCH FROM MY NIGHTMEARS

The obito thst actuly was in the muddelvifxthe war he started (maby canon obito idk) : yaeh i have a question. My wuestion no 1 is why is other mes hair white ?

Anyone tbh but in my head it's either naruto or kakashi: THAT'S THE QUESTION YOU CHOSE TO ASK IN THIS SITUATION ? There are a lot of things that need answers and you chose to ask /focus on about your fucking haircolour ?! And not like why there are multiple diffret versions of you (and maby kakashi idk kamui shenanigans ig?)

Obito : hey that's a resonoble question cuz last time i cheacked my hair is black

Kakashi: AND LAST TIME I CHAECKED YOU WHERE DEAD

Jonin obito : if it helps i'm legaly speaking still dead

Any obito : that's on you honestly i'm suprised at the shit i got away with

kakashi : TFYM?

Any obito: wait so you actuly never noticed me sitting 3 meters behind you in a bush?

Another obito: or in your Apartment?

Anther obito : oh funny story i'm pretty shure he tottaly saw me that 1 time baised on eye contact but he prob thought i was a hallucination idk (was feeling bored and daering that day/night)

another kakashi apering and smaking one of the white haired obitos in the head with porn: WHAT THE HELL OBITO I LEFT YOU ALONE FOR 5 MIN ?!

That obito : i got bored okay

Kk eye twitching: realy ? You did ? WHEN I SAY DON'T COMMIT TERRORISEM ON THIS PLANET IT WASN'T AN INVITATION FOR YOU TO BECOME A SPACE PIRATE AND BULLY SOME ALIAN GODS (otsosuki) AND EHEN U SAY STOP BULLING ALIAN GODS IT ISN'T AN INVITATION FOR YOU TO DO THIS WHOLE TIMLINE MESSY THINGY LIKE HOW TF DID YOU EVEN DO THIS ? I WAS JUST ON THE TOILETTE FOR 5 MIN ?

That obito : in my defense your instructions weren't very clear and i was bored and i don't like boering why'the heck you think i started a war ? I was bored and wanted shit to finnaly happen

kakashi: DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW TO SPELL consequences?

Obito: . In all honesty you want to know a secret ?most of the shit i do is for keeping me intertained of cuz being " normal " is boering and i don't like boreing i only do the shit i know i get away with anyways it's no big deal but to answer you question it's C O N S E N T

Kks: WRONG that's how you spell consent but i'll let it slid cuz that's importaint too

Ob: realy ? I was messing up on purpose iym a genius

Kk: ...yaeh for that and not like idk inventing time travle but who cares clean that shit up and bring everyone of you back where you shoud be

Ob: i coud do that or Or hear me out i do it completly random and we are gonna watch what happened next ?

Kks: is this gonna affect or timeline in any way shape or form ?

Ob: no not all why ?

Kk okay fine 2 days then you have to make everything normal agin

Ob : only if you buy me dango

Kk: fine let's go get this done with

Litterly everyone completly baffled exepf obito

War arc obito : what ? I've seen wierder shit happen

N: LIKE WHAT COUD PSSABLY BE WIERDER THEN THIS SHIT THAT JUST HAPPEEN ?

obito ignores everything related to that trying to gaslight everyone that was just a filler episide

[cosmicheartz]

Gonna ramble abt some mental world stuff regarding the campers in my future au

Phoebes world sorta works like Cassie’s Collection where it’s her archetypes instead of her self in the mental world ( currently the archetypes I have are therapist and musician/rockstar and maybe one representing her pyromania but idk if I want to just have that be a mental figure/enemy instead bc I feel like it makes more sense for it to be some sort of enemy representing her pyromania rather than an archetype ) not sure on the exact theming i have in mind but i think itd be a split between like a music/recording studio and a therapy office ( yknow the trope where two characters share a room but they have wildly different aesthetics so theres one half with character a's aesthetic and one with character b's aesthetic? yea thats the vibe im going for )

tbh idk if I can top the mental world @salempie and splaoon made for Elka but I have considered some sort of dating game show since on her campster she mentions wanting to go on a game show circuit. It’d be like one of those dating game shows ala the Dating show where theres three contestants ( 2 being mental figure representations of Nils and JT and the other being one of the girls who enter her brain ( probably Franke ) and theres like a becky like mental figure thats a representation of her comphet and is the boss fight

JT's mental world is wild west/cowboy themed ( obviously ) and i like to think he has mental figures based on the campers/people he knows but theyre wild westified if that makes sense. some examples being: Benny/Bobby being bandits/outlaws, Kitty being a Saloon girl, Quentin or Phoebe being the Piano Player etc. im not 100% sure abt JTs role though bc i flip flop between sheriff or cowboy. basically its just a wild west parody. i dont think theres like a definite boss but Raz does get to beat up the bobby and benny bandits so thats smth ig

Bennys mental world is legit just a big ol broadway musical. i dont rlly have more to say abt it outside of that tbh.

I've talked abt Crystals mental world before but i wanna talk abt it again bc i can Its a gymnasium/dance studio hybrid thing and its very 80s workout themed. Similar to Millas dance party there's a compartmentalized area that harbors Crystals depression and former suicidal tendacies/ideation. its also where her mental Clem resides ( who doesn't look like actual Clem due to Crystal and Clem barely keeping in contact after the fallout so she kinda just had to wing it as she aged so its like what SHE would imagine an older Clem if that makes sense ) who would be the boss

[viscerawrites]

status update 9/28/2024

just a lil post to announce what fics ive worked on/tasks ive crossed off my checklist today! its mostly for myself rlly fcngnhkk buuut its here if anyone's curious ig? Im just chilling

---

what ive accomplished today:

wrote 492 words for chapter 2 of where love didn't exist

today was the first time ive been able to work on this fic (w/o anxiety) since i first posted it in january, so that's pretty nice! tbh i lost so much confidence in it after i lost my therapist since i was hoping to use it as a coping fic while i processed shit. but who knows, maybe it'll still help me learn things abt myself. regardless, im excited to be back at it!

wrote 156 words for my sleep token oneshot wip, the body as a temple ; got it to 913!

i havent worked on this one in a while either lol, mostly bc i started it right before The Anxiety started hitting me every time i sat down to write. i was honestly rlly nervous to return to it cuz i was scared I wouldn't be able to keep writing it at all. but im giving myself the grace to move slow, so. rare W for me.

retyped/sorta edited 582 words for chapter 1 of my hollywood undead wip the exorcism of jorel decker

i actually posted this 1st chapter a long while ago! then i deleted it, tried to rework into original fiction, realized i was having much more fun writing it as bandfic, and then foolishly orphaned the original version instead of just deleting </3 but the good news abt that is. idk if i still have it in my google docs at all. so at least i have that to reference LOL.

---

soo.

today is saturday september 28 (this month is going by way too fast fr) and it's just past 6pm rn. got a late start today bc i was exhausted as shit for a while, then i talked to my mom incessantly for what was apparently hours. So i only got started around 3pm (but i still needed to warm up, soo it took longer. Bleh).

didn't set my checklist goals at the start of the day like i planned to bc i was having The Anxiety and a bit of decision paralysis. and was also worried abt.. Various things. so it doesn't feel as successful today, but ive still gotten shit done and that's what should matter to me.

out of everything ive typed today, ive done abt 1,230 words in total so far. Most of that was unfortunately just me retyping shit ive already written and am now moving from google docs to ellipsus (which i highly recommend btw). i typically prefer to retype into new software instead of pasting; it gets the brain flowing better.

but i did still write some new words, and a lot of what i retyped was modified and added to. or cut. Whatever it needed rlly.

im still trying to find the proper schedule for myself + the best way to juggle my millions of projects/ideas. I need to allow myself some wiggle room while still having some structure. adhd is making this a bit difficult (as it so often does), but it's rlly just trial and error rn. Plus a lot of self-acceptance and focusing on making things easier and more fun for myself - instead of worrying abt the "most reasonable" way to do things. Or anything others might recommend.

I do still plan on writing some more before the night is done, so I might be back w/ an update for this before I head to bed. I got distracted by my brother while writing this post so it's now just after 6:45 LOL.

---

gonna close this post off w/ music ive been rlly liking today! bc,, why not.

Animals - Ice Nine Kills (maroon 5 cover)

Disturbia - The Cab (rihanna cover)

What I Never Learned In Study Hall - Ice Nine Kills

[ch3rrbearyeen]

maybe a bit of a doompost but i mostly wanna get some thoughts out that i just dont express. (i will be talking to my therapist abt this tomorrow but me want talk) tw. sui talk

its nice to see the general consensus is everyone motivating each other to keep going, to not give in, to stay alive purely for the sake of continuing to live. the message of “you have to live” is something a lot of people need and deserve to hear.

i kinda wish that helped me too.

since my first attempt ive been stuck with a mindset my family pushed onto me. i am not allowed to try again, that is not up to me, that is not my choice. not because i deserve to live, not because i have a future. but because i couldnt possibly imagine the way i would destroy our family should i succeed. that my actions would cause permanent damage, and how could i do that to them.

im glad its encouraging for others to be told they wont leave because they have to live. im glad thats a reassurance others can enjoy. i just find no pleasure or comfort or enjoy reassuring others that im going to keep living. ig for me its just a reminder that this life i have, a lot of times, is not my own. i didnt plan on making it past 18. im happy i did, its nice having things to look forward to, but every action i make is built off the foundation that i have no other choice but to do so.

today got to be slightly okay at times, because i did some things for myself. i designed a sona ive been wanting to make for months because it made me happy. i drew myself a doodle about something im scared to indulge in because it made me happy. i had a date night with my partner and asked to watch an anime he’s been showing me that it loves bc it made me happy.

i want to keep pursuing happiness, its what makes this life i have to live a bit easier. but in the meantime, i just can’t, and won’t, slow down.

i wont die. i dont have a choice. ill keep on going. i dont have a choice. ill keep doing my work. i dont have a choice. you won’t lose me, because that was never my decision to make in the first place.

[tavania777]

i used to be addicted to sh (ig i still am lol) but i go through phases where for a while im fine and i barely have any urges and then sometimes i cant even get through a full day without breaking my streak. i dont have a great relationship with food and i dont think i have an eating disorder but i think im starting to get one. i checked my weight everyday for i think 2 weeks and i lost 10 pounds, i wasnt even conciously trying to lose weight it just happened (i dont eat breakfast or lunch and then when i come home i eat but not a ton) i think ive lost about 30 pounds in abt 6 months. i can feel myself sliding into shing more and i feel like im developing an ed. i feel like part of the ed is sh bc i like feeling hungry. when i was at my worst it was the only thing i could feel for the longest time so i think i kinda got addicted to it and i cant stop. i dont feel good unless im at least a little bit hungry, and i genuinely dont remember the last time i was full. but! good news! i had a panic attack the other day (i can dm u the details if u want) but i didnt sh to get it to stop!! i did fucking breathing exercises and they fuckign worked!

Im proud of you for using alternative methods instead of sh. Recovery is difficult but you do it great

I’m not sure to understand the purpose of your message but if you need help I can only recommend you to see a therapist because you already do what I could help you with

If you just want to share your story to someone and/or have someone to talk I always here of course

[ariestrxsh]

Idk if you really care abt this but I just needed to talk to someone abt this. So like i have super bad anxiety over the smallest things especially when it comes to school and stuff and I’ve been wanting to try to talk to my parents about seeing if I could get prescribed meds for it but got kicked out of therapy bc I was there for to long ig? (That’s what my therapist told me) But I’m scared to ask my mom if I could get set up with another company cause I feel like she’s not even gonna help me and just gonna glaze pst it (my moms a asshole and fucking hates me) but it’s like gotten to the point where I’ve had like 3 panic attacks in class the last week and I feel like it’s gonna get worse and even my bsf has said that I need to try and get some meds for my anxiety but I’m scared so idk what to do and I can’t even have my dad do anything abt it bc him and my mom are separated and he’s also in jail…I’ve considered talking to my grandparents abt it since I live with them but i don’t think they will do anything.

Hi, of course I care about this. 💖 That's a really rough situation, and I'm sorry you're dealing with it, and it seems like you may feel like you're dealing with it all alone. I do highly recommend you talk to her about getting another therapist. Idk what that means that you were at therapy for too long? Some therapists have weird insurance things, and it could just be that the insurance ran out or something? I'm not sure. Medication might help, but maybe you just need someone to talk it out with you, too, and find healthy outlets for your anxiety. Just tell your mom or your grandparents you'd like an unbiased person to talk to about your feelings and help you manage the emotions you've been feeling. Mental health should be handled with care, and I hope they hear you out. 💖

[yuukei-yikes]

love ur shinaya breakup tbh read all of it and it's honestly accurate i think the screaming match isnt necessarily ooc bc ayano has the capacity to get ANGRY and yell honestly i think it would be more like shintaro raises his voice and then ayano snaps and starts screaming and shintaro instantly is like O_O kind of just freezes bc THIS isnt the ayano he knows (the one he usually sees/i feel like he would know that this part of ayano is a real part of her but he doesnt like it bc some part of him still relies on her to be the usual "ayano" as a form of consistency in his life especially post str bc if ayano acts like ayano then that means things r okay and normal and he doesnt have to think abt the timelines where ayano died and STAYED dead and also specifically ayak) he doesnt know how to deal with that rn so after a bit of being yelled at he basically stops talking and ayano is like WHY ARENT U SAYING ANYTHING and shintaro is just like ermmm well uhmmm which pisses off ayano even more she just starts crying bc she's so overwhelmed and doesnt know what to do with herself anymore and shintaro is awkwardly standing there and then they just dont talk abt it or breaking up but they basically break up after that erm sorry for the long ask

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES god this ask made me so excited i fell off my chair no joke. bc i was reading and i was agreeing so hard i was excited. and i um fell off my chair.

IM GONNA BE HONEST I SAID "OOC" AS SORT OF A DISCLAIMER BC ITS KINDA A HOT TAKE IG.... i was like (looks around) i dont wanna be called out or something. but to me its totally in character. i mean ayano gets angry in canon. i love that its canon that she really plays the nice girl role in front of shintaro (and haruka&takane) but at home with mekatrio we see her a lot more vulnerable/able to be angry.

the way i imagine them is usually ayano ending in tears most of the time but when They Break Up like for realsies it's when ayano is just PISSED. shitshow gone too far mode. and i think it starts off from something completely stupid like always, something casual abt WHY WONT U HOLD MY HAND IN PUBLIC!! like something totally idiotic but like i said in the other ask its just all these bottled up emotions and eventually ayano just fucking explodes lmao. shintaro is totally shocked like u say but i think it's such a relief for him somehow because this is it. THIS is what he deserved all along. THIS is what he's been searching for. ayano being mad at him. ayano making him pay for everything. and he's like YEAH!! YELL AT ME MORE!! I DESERVE IT!!! I CAN FINALLY MAKE THINGS UP TO YOU IF UR ANGRY. and that pisses ayano off even more because WHAT are you talking about??? since when is this about what u deserve?? since when am i some sort of trophy wife you feel guilty for having??? i dont want that!! have you been doing this on purpose!?!?!?!? and she DUMPS HIS ASS

everytime theyve broken up before (on and off slay) it's by shintaro and ayano ends in dramatic tears while shintaro is just like angrily pacing around his room. when AYANO dumps him this time and for good, shintaro is in tears. he's such a mess. takane who's been comforting ayano each and every single time shintaro has made her cry and per her request playing this crazy relationship therapist, goes to her fully intending to do it again. like fully intending to comfort her and talk some sense into her thinking theyre just gonna get back together like always. but this time ayano isn't crying at all, she just breathes in relief and talks about the huge weight she got off her back. and takane's like ...ohhh... this time it's different.

usually, the procedure would be ayano sobbing to takane BWAA PLEASE TALK TO HIM and then takane going to yell at shintaro but this time it's SHINTARO who's like. PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU TALK TO HER.

shintaro on the other hand is such a mess. sorry to bring takane into everything💖 but having him sob in her arms is like the icing on the cake bc his thing with her is not THE problem but one of the (many) problems and shintaro REALLY doesn't learn. he is despaired over ayano and crying on takane again, just like back then. and he loves it in an insane way. because this is so comfortable. this is familiar. it is so so painful. he is so heartbroken but it is so familiar. its not more painful than having ayano by his side because ayano's company terrifies him. her survival is one in its kind in all the timelines, and it has been so terrifying to see something new after seeing the same for so long. especially because the something new is her going out with him of all things?? he has so much regret and self loathing and guilt and FEAR OF LOSING EVERYTHING BC NOW ITS NEW AND IT'S NEVER BEEN NEW AND THAT'S SO SCARY to work through that he cannot enjoy it, he's terrified of it instead and acted the way he did essentially so it'd end the way it'd end. and yeah he's whining about wanting her back and he really does but it's like... you know, the same as back then. lol.

so like ayano, he is also relieved. but in totally different ways. does that make sense. erm. hehe