#obito being obito but also tobi

[obitobi-simp]

Jonin obito Au but obito is still a freak

Imagen obito manages to free himself from madara by going inbetween that chidori and being there earlyer he get's coma but he lives

Memory ussus and a lot of CPTSD he's fine anyone woud think he's normal now but he isn't

He's legaly still dead cuz no one ABSOLUTLY NO ONE wants to deal with the absurd amount if paiper work so he legaly is still dead and he abuses the heck out of it and will bring it up every opertunaty he gets

Ppl don't notice he's a freak untill he starts open his mouth and say some wierd fucked up shit like as if he's talking about the waether

Obito: Yaeh the uchiha massacer was wild i got there in time to watch that shit go dowen i was so glad to always have popcorn in kamui

Sasuke : so you didn't nothing while this happned

Obito: sasuke pls i'd never and I didn't do nothing i sat there and watched it while eating popcorn and thinking ' damm didn't know bodys coud move like that'

Sasuke: WHY AREN'T YOU DEAD INSTAD

Obito : many reson ig ? I mean legaly speaking i actuly am dead alrady Oh also i can phase through things and can't realy kill what can't be hit yk

He has nughtmares about " an ugly stinky old witch very ugly and stinky"

Whoever thought giving him 3 genin kids to look after is just as mentaly deranged as obito but dw kakashi us there too cuz legaly it's his team and oh damage controll cuz obito get's urges to be an unhinged problem if he doesn't take his meds and therapy( his therapists need therapists and or are scared of this sweetie with 42 underling mental issus cuz ge's tottaly normal most of the time exept when he isn't)

He's very sweet happy and still a stalker but he has a heart of gold an wierd 10 tailed mini dog thing with 1 eye and a spiral thingy that showes up from time to time obito doesn't know what these things are or where they are from but since they pass the vibe cheack they can stay

Wierd shit happnes to him atlest once a week

Imagen this obito meets the other obitos somehow the convo they have in my head

They all magicly aper on the battlefiel of the 4th shinobi war

Jonin obito on the 4GNWW with other obito variation : WHAT THE HECK WHY DIES THIS WIERD SHIT ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME I PROB STARTED A WAR IN MY PREV LIFE OR SOMTHING

White haired (unhinged completly lost it and gave up on sainaty) obito : uhh abt that So who wants to tell him ? 🙂

Tobi: ughh-

All obitos : SHUT THE FUCK UP TOBI NO ONE CARES

(Any obito): not only that (casuly lists all massacers and acts of terrorisem he comitted and or was involved in) 😐

Jonin obito : yaeh sounds like somthing i woud do in theses situations🤔 what why are you all I all ? staring

War arc obito : i fucking hate you go kill yourself or somthing 😠

Jonin obito : Hey what the heck did i do ? ALSO I'M YOU LIKE WTF ?!

White haired obito that got more sane after the war: well we coud just blame everything on trauma but thanx to you fucking asshole we now gotta face the realaty with the fact we are just inhersntly insane with or without being manipulated into it thank

Tobi : wow they hate you more then me

Silance...

Madara finaly : WHAT IN THE EORLD IS GOING ON ?! I HAVE A FEW QUESTIONS?!

Jonin obito jumping on his AU kakashi shoulders : AGAAAAAA THE UGLY WITCH FROM MY NIGHTMEARS

The obito thst actuly was in the muddelvifxthe war he started (maby canon obito idk) : yaeh i have a question. My wuestion no 1 is why is other mes hair white ?

Anyone tbh but in my head it's either naruto or kakashi: THAT'S THE QUESTION YOU CHOSE TO ASK IN THIS SITUATION ? There are a lot of things that need answers and you chose to ask /focus on about your fucking haircolour ?! And not like why there are multiple diffret versions of you (and maby kakashi idk kamui shenanigans ig?)

Obito : hey that's a resonoble question cuz last time i cheacked my hair is black

Kakashi: AND LAST TIME I CHAECKED YOU WHERE DEAD

Jonin obito : if it helps i'm legaly speaking still dead

Any obito : that's on you honestly i'm suprised at the shit i got away with

kakashi : TFYM?

Any obito: wait so you actuly never noticed me sitting 3 meters behind you in a bush?

Another obito: or in your Apartment?

Anther obito : oh funny story i'm pretty shure he tottaly saw me that 1 time baised on eye contact but he prob thought i was a hallucination idk (was feeling bored and daering that day/night)

another kakashi apering and smaking one of the white haired obitos in the head with porn: WHAT THE HELL OBITO I LEFT YOU ALONE FOR 5 MIN ?!

That obito : i got bored okay

Kk eye twitching: realy ? You did ? WHEN I SAY DON'T COMMIT TERRORISEM ON THIS PLANET IT WASN'T AN INVITATION FOR YOU TO BECOME A SPACE PIRATE AND BULLY SOME ALIAN GODS (otsosuki) AND EHEN U SAY STOP BULLING ALIAN GODS IT ISN'T AN INVITATION FOR YOU TO DO THIS WHOLE TIMLINE MESSY THINGY LIKE HOW TF DID YOU EVEN DO THIS ? I WAS JUST ON THE TOILETTE FOR 5 MIN ?

That obito : in my defense your instructions weren't very clear and i was bored and i don't like boering why'the heck you think i started a war ? I was bored and wanted shit to finnaly happen

kakashi: DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW TO SPELL consequences?

Obito: . In all honesty you want to know a secret ?most of the shit i do is for keeping me intertained of cuz being " normal " is boering and i don't like boreing i only do the shit i know i get away with anyways it's no big deal but to answer you question it's C O N S E N T

Kks: WRONG that's how you spell consent but i'll let it slid cuz that's importaint too

Ob: realy ? I was messing up on purpose iym a genius

Kk: ...yaeh for that and not like idk inventing time travle but who cares clean that shit up and bring everyone of you back where you shoud be

Ob: i coud do that or Or hear me out i do it completly random and we are gonna watch what happened next ?

Kks: is this gonna affect or timeline in any way shape or form ?

Ob: no not all why ?

Kk okay fine 2 days then you have to make everything normal agin

Ob : only if you buy me dango

Kk: fine let's go get this done with

Litterly everyone completly baffled exepf obito

War arc obito : what ? I've seen wierder shit happen

N: LIKE WHAT COUD PSSABLY BE WIERDER THEN THIS SHIT THAT JUST HAPPEEN ?

obito ignores everything related to that trying to gaslight everyone that was just a filler episide

[ladykissingfish]

*Nagato walks slowly into the living room on his crutches, to find Deidara, Tobi and Itachi on the couch with their feet up, eating snacks*

Nagato: … What is this? Deidara, Tobi; didn’t I tell you both to go on that mission two hours ago?? You can’t be back already!

Tobi: We never went, Leader!

Nagato: Never went? May I be so bold as to ask why??

Itachi: They're taking a mental health day, Leader. As am I. Kisame went on our mission with Hidan instead.

Nagato, angrily: Ah?! So now you brats are not only disobeying direct orders, but you're switching around partners at will? And what on earth do you mean, "mental health day"?? We are SHINOBI. The only break we receive comes in the form of death, and you all look alive and well to me! So get your lazy asses up and —

*Kakuzu walks in with an armload of bills*

Kakuzu: Let them have their mental health day. At least it’s free. These little shits have also been pestering me to establish dental, vision, and two weeks’ PAID vacation days a year!

Tobi: And don’t forget about the fresh pastry we want in the kitchen every morning!

Deidara: And the complimentary haircare products in the bathroom, hm.

Itachi: And dango left under our pillows at night.

Nagato:

[deadmegumi]

Naruto and gai being like who gaf if it's obito we need to move and fight !!! while kakashi is having a full blown panic attack next to them is so awesome. nonchalant final bosses

[uchihaharlot]

Yandere Uchihas with an innocent S/O who doesn't know that he wants to baby trap the S/O.

I think that when an Uchiha wants to get you pregnant… there’s really nothing in the way of stopping them, that being said.

NSFW; Uchiha’s pumping you full of their hot sticky baby batter; Madara breeding; Obito ignorantly blissed; Shisui manipulation; Itachi sexual coercion.

Madara:

lol. This ain’t a baby trap for him. Your body was designed to specifically carry his offspring. Plus it’s the Warring States Era… everyone was fucking without protection. And that includes when Madara has you bunched up beneath him.

He’s not really shy about this either. While sex talk is hot as hell, Madara makes no laughing joke about how fucked out and stuffed full of his genes and babies you’ll be. You’re the perfect woman and you need to be his flesh light. His baby factory, so to speak. Bred until you can hardly breath.

And ma’am, he’s rough when fucking your overly used cunt. Day after day of incessant breeding, him hitting it all the way to your cervix when he cums to make sure his swimmers are close as close gets to your womb. Excellent thing you’re a good little girl and take it all night. The sheets get changed regularly since you have about six or eight loads pumped into you and each load gets fucked out as the other is pumped in. It also takes Madara a looong time to cum inside of you, so you’re basically cumming several times, prepping his cock to empty itself. He just really enjoys seeing how overstimulated you get and how that pussy massages his cock dry. ‘Just a bit more little bird…’ And it sounds so sweet to your exhausted self, but he’s so menacing when it comes to it.

Obito:

I hate to say this but if there were ever an unfortunate enough Uchiha to get baby trapped…. It’s this man here. Our poor Obito is a bit too trusting and a little dense at times. But like, sex feels so so good and he’s touched starved. So when you sit on his fat cock for the first time and fuck him stupid. Any and all sexual education he did have, is wiped free from his mind. You just feel so good in his lap, so wet and warm on his aching length. Especially when you own him this way, Obito can’t think.

Tobi, is a good boi. And if you tell him that, he’s gonna burst fast and heavy in your plush velvety walls without a care. It’s just feels so damn good for Obito to actually cum inside of you, and since he’s rarely sticking his cock often in anyone. He won’t feel the slightest bit nervous when you joke about wanting a little Uchiha in you because, well, it’s hot as fuck. So as many times as you want, he’ll coat your insides until gravity works against his cum and it drips out of you as you ride him through each of his and your orgasms. Which it’s safe to say that if you’re cumming, he is too.

Shisui:

He didn’t really want to do this to you. I mean, yes he wants everyone to see that cute belly of yours cradling his Uchiha baby but also… he knows you’re not entirely ready. So Kotoamatsukami for you, miss. You are none the wiser since Shisui doesn’t even need to look you in the eye while using his ultimate technique. This is a very egregious act and an abuse of power. Shisui justifies it because you have talked about children of your own. Just not making them yet. Shisui, I think, has a heavy conscience over it but when you’re whining for him to fuck a baby in you because your mind has been inundated with thoughts of his hot cum. It’s a non issue in that moment.

Palms splayed all over your stomach when you both cum. Admiring the flat of your stomach and visualizing how plump and delicious you’ll look with his growing seed. Holding your hips roughly when you squirm from being so taut and full of his cock pumping you raw and full.

You just look so sexy like this. Begging him for an Uchiha baby, even if it is manipulative, Shisui is in heaven. ‘Please, Shisui…’ is your vocabulary for the next few hours. This is his passion now. Shisui gets really into filling your soft hole with his seed, very desperate soft whines each time he cums inside of you. That much closer to his goal . If you end up squiring on him, well that’s another two loads to make up for the one you washed out. ‘Tisk, there goes all my hard work, baby. You need more now…’ Gods, his sex out voice is so low and hoarse too 🥵

Itachi:

Any sort of insolence on your side about having his baby is just ending with you tossed into Tsukuyomi. You should have agreed with this man from the get go. Though you might think this is a safe zone for acting out his deplorable behavior. He will fuck you into submission until your willing and eager for it. Just throws you in there and locks the key until he is done. Fucking you senseless until you are in agreeance of him cramming your insides with a baby. It takes only three seconds for him to coerce you from an outside perspective, but yet it’s been nearly a lifetime in there for you.

Consider yourself more fortunate with his good graces if you end up in this situation, agreeing and whatnot. Itachi is persistent when it comes to actually making sure you fall pregnant. Though he doesn’t believe that the more loads of cum you take in a single session actually makes a difference. He will breed you for the novelty of it. It’s just been one of those things whispered in the shadows and plus. It feels so damn good having you whining underneath him this way and hey, yea. Baby making sex is hot as hell. So you really are wanting this. Itachi is typically a soft lover. Very sensual, but like this? Now you know why he was so desperate for your cooperation. The man is insatiable and ends up cumming several times over, especially when he sees how into it you are. How quick you climax the first time he raws you. 🫠

[obitobi-simp]

also we need obitos instabilaty and urge to cause problems like this mf can't sit still when he is bored and has nothing to do he will make it somone elses problem (that being kakashi or naruto and sasuke)

Let this man be his inner child you can't tell me he hadn't had fun acting like tobi

Give me filler of him pranking ppl and bulling the mizukages simply cuz he can

Let this man play with cryon one moment and kill somone with it the next moment

Obito should have survived. Not for the plot but for entertainment purposes. I want to see filler episodes of him and Kakashi going to the store, cooking together. Bickering away like an old very dysfunctional married couple. One of whom has ptsd and the other causes it I won’t be clarifying who is who.

[cosmic-glow]

Request: "May I request soft akatsuki headcannons for a reader who loves to bake and cook? It's a passion of mine, and a great stress reliever! There's nothing I won't try and try to make!"

Notes: First of all, I'm sorry it took me so long to respond 😭 I also like cooking and I completely agree with you! I hope you like what I wrote, good reading!

"Are you hungry, love?"- Akatsuki

Warnings: no pronouns; no use of "y/n"; pure cuteness. Gender: Soft Headcanons. Characters: Itachi; Kisame; Deidara; Sasori; Kakuzu; Hidan; Zetsu; Tobi/Obito; Pein; Konan.

Itachi Uchiha

He always offers you help in the kitchen.

He is very picky when cooking for someone but is easily satisfied with whatever you cook for him.

He feels obligated to return the favor by cooking for you too. That's why he took charge of breakfast, always waking up before you to prepare what you like.

Likes hot foods and pasta. Loves handmade sweets.

He prefers traditional foods, but accepts trying new flavors when he's with you.

He loves going out to buy new ingredients with you, he knows a lot about the subject and would be of great help.

Kisame Hoshigaki

You know that popular saying that the best way to conquer a man is through his stomach? It applies very well to this man.

He likes to be spoiled with food and will be grateful for it so.. please cook for him.

His heart feels warm when he comes home and smells something delicious you are preparing.

He likes foods with a sweet and sour taste, and he loves meat. He also loves sweets, so it's not hard to please Kisame.

He loves trying new flavors with you. If you want, he'll even help you in the kitchen, but he's not very good (he's a bit clumsy).

He'll find a way to say thank you, whether it's washing the dishes, giving gifts, taking you out to eat, all of the above, whatever you prefer.

He's the kind of guy who would eat what you prepared even if it was completely burnt if he knew you put effort into it.

Deidara

He likes fast food, but is very happy when you cook for him.

Thanks to you, he's starting to eat more healthily, because he has a childish palate and is very resistant to exploring new flavors.

He likes spicy foods because are like an explosion in the mouth.

"I have to say, honey, your cooking is an art!" - he says with his mouth full when he really likes it.

One of his favorite moments of the day is when you're eating something you've prepared or he's bought, watching a movie and talking about anything.

It's something very simple, but if you make a cake just for him on his birthday, he'll feel so loved that he might even cry a little.

(Sometimes he brags to the other members about having such a skilled s/o in the kitchen).

But please keep this boy the hell away from the kitchen! When I say he's a complete chaos cooking, it's because the kitchen almost always explodes! Literally!

Sasori

He often forgets that he still needs to eat due to his puppet body, so he's grateful that you remind him. He still needs to eat a little every now and then to ensure a bit of vital energy or something.

And yes, that was the lie he invented to not disappoint you. And regardless of whether you believed it or not, he always eats your food, even though he knows how much work it will take to clean his insides afterwards (don't worry, he'll probably come up with something to solve this).

Understand, he lied because he knows how important cooking is to you, he sees how much you work at it, but had the misfortune of being with a guy who doesn't need to eat… but he couldn't risk hurting you for something that's his fault.

Sasori only eats your food and no one else's, no matter how much they insist.

He likes foods with strong spices, he no longer feels flavors in the same way as when he was a human.

At the end of every meal, he politely thanks you for the delicious food and offers to help with the dishes.

Kakuzu

He likes hot, very hot, and traditional foods. Doesn't like sweets.

He's great in the kitchen and sometimes cooks for you too, as a thank you. Kakuzu has many years of experience in the kitchen, take the opportunity to ask questions and get some tips, he may not show it but he really likes to help you.

Maybe you don't know, but Kakuzu practically never eats out, he knows that some people want him dead and could easily poison his food. So for him to eat everything you prepare without hesitation is really a great show of trust.

He is very silent while eating, but he doesn't mind if you want to talk about your day, he will be listening to every part.

He really appreciates your food, getting involved and asking about the spices you used, how you prepared it, he really likes it when you test a new recipe.

Always at the end of every meal he thanks you for the food and gets up before you to clear the table and wash the dishes, a silent way of thanking you.

Hidan

Spicy and crunchy foods and sour desserts, it's true heaven for him...

As incredible as it may seem, Hidan is very picky about his food, it's unbearable to go out to eat with him, it seems like he always makes a point of finding some flaw.

But it's the total opposite with you, he eats everything you prepare without complaining too much, just teasing you a little as always. Except if he is angry with you for some reason, then he will be impossible, no matter what you prepared, he will not eat it.

Hidan has a very annoying childhood palate, so don't force him to eat something he doesn't really like, like vegetables for example.

You'll probably have some arguments about him drink any kind of blood but not wanting to eat the soup you made (for example), but it won't change anything.

Whenever you enter the kitchen, Hidan follows right behind to find out what you're going to prepare and also because he loves to annoy you while you're cooking. He tickles you, bites you, hugs you, kisses you and even steals some utensils to disturb you before you kick him out of the kitchen.

Zetsu

He likes meat a lot, in fact you thought it was the only thing he could eat.

He is very impatient and even hugs you trying to convince you to let him eat before you finish.

"I don't care that it's not ready yet and it's raw, I'm hungry, love. Let me eat it just the way it is."

Not a very good critic of your recipes, he will eat literally anything you put in front of him and thank you for it.

You are the one who teaches him to have a more refined palate and he loves trying new flavors with you.

Zetsu grows a vegetable garden just for you, with everything you need fresh and tasty for your recipes.

Tobi/Obito Uchiha

Tobi >loves< sweets, make sweets for him and you'll have him curled up in the palm of your hand.

Both Tobi and Obito don't like spicy food.

He feels so loved when you cook for him <3 (a tip: prepare ramen for him when he's sad, it'll make him feel better).

Whenever he comes home early he brings you some sweets he bought at the bakery as a treat.

This is another man who is very easy to win over with his stomach. He'll feel very special if you tell him you've prepared something just for him. Make him your guinea pig for new recipes, he really doesn't mind and always gives you great feedback.

He always offers you the first bite out of respect, he is as happy to see you eating and talking about how tasty it is as he is to eat something you prepared.

Pein

Pein went through long periods of starvation as a child, so as much as it may seem, he isn't very picky about what he eats.

Likes hot and spicy foods. Hate sweets.

He is a great fan of your food, even if you've accidentally burnt it or overdone the seasoning, he'll be happy to eat something you've lovingly prepared.

Due to his work as leader of Akatsuki, he often forgets to eat properly. It's you who show up at his office and remind him to eat, with something you've prepared in hand, he's really grateful for your care.

He is always attentive to your needs. Did you like a cuter utensil kit than the ones you have? Are your. Wanting new seasonings? Suddenly they appear in your pantry. Everything you need.

Pein always makes it clear how he likes you to cook but that he doesn't want you to be overwhelmed with it, so he does everything to make this task easier for you, including ordering something from restaurants for you to eat and enjoy your free time together.

Konan

He likes mild sweets and, ironically, spicy foods. (Please make sweets for Konan, she likes a lot).

She will always feel like she is bothering or burdening you when you cook for her.

Konan isn't that good in the kitchen, so she's grateful to have a s/o who cooks so well. Sometimes she watches you cook to try to learn something, in an attempt to return the favor one day.

Buy a lot of sweets for you and make a point of always keeping your pantry well stocked so you don't have to worry about buying ingredients.

As I said, Konan doesn't like to burden you, so very often she takes you on restaurant dates.

Konan loves the culinary tours you plan, she could listen to you talk for hours about techniques, recipes and ideas. She loves seeing how excited you get talking about it.

Sorry for any typos;

Buy me a coffee?

Masterlist

[oh-no-its-bird]

Ok so I love demon slayer, I love naruto, I love crossovers and I do think that the most interesting crossover you could get between the two is by including Kagaya Ubuyashiki as a major player

In Narutoland, leaders are leaders due to strength. The Kage's are the strongest around, and it makes sense bc in a warrior society ofc you want your leaders to be strong.

Kagaya is very much not that, and I wanna play with it. There's just something so fascinating ab the leader of so many scarily strong people being a soft spoken and kind man who physically could not fight if he wanted to, but is still willing to embrace The Horrors when need be. Really big contrast to Naruto, I like it

Anyways umm

Fic where after Kagaya Ubuyashiki blows up his fucking house w the wife and kids, he and maybe also the wife and kids end up zapped to Naruto.

Immediatley like, there is no Muzan here. There are no demons. Kagaya's curse to bear is over, the weight lifted from his shoulders. He has done all that he can do. He gets to retire now.

So just Kagaya trying to settle in to retirement in another world, struggling w the fact that he's like. Penniless now. Sickly young master lost all his fucking wealth and buisness investments, not much he can do there.

But no matter what he does he's too fucking charismatic and eye catching to not gain some kind of notoriety. I think it'd be funny if he's legit trying to live his best life but people keep swearing allegiance to him. He's just wandering around trying to find a way to make money and not die and accidentally picking up Deidara before Akatsuki can.

He like compliments his art by acknowledging that there is beauty in everything, even destruction. And Deidara is eyeing him like ",,,maybe this old man is ok,, I guess,,, oh no wait he's a CIVILIAN?? And also fucking useless at everything???? Man I guess I HAVE to stick around and protect him. Wow what a bummer. I guess I have no choice... and also if he pats me on the head and calls me a good boy and feeds into my many ignored complexes then that's also whatever......"

Kagaya actually just keeps running into Akatsuki members and getting varying levels of "this guy is alright I guess (if anything happened to him I'd kill everyone in the room then myself)"

He's collecting a little army of shinobi with daddy issues (every shinobi ever let's be real) by pure accident

Dw Kagaya, you don't need to worry about those medical bills bc u are now the sugar baby of multiple criminal organizations! (Don't think about it too hard)

Obito gets the worst of it, he sees Kagaya and gets flashbacks to his ailing grandmother and suddenly can't unsee it. Kagaya seems to see through his Tobi act seamlessly, and still reaches out to touch his scarred face without a single twitch of his smile and says he can feel a good man in that heart of his. Obito explodes immediatley and has to retreat for 7-10 buisness days to deal with the sudden onslaught of Feelings(tm)

Akatsuki slowly becomes good bc Kagaya learns of some of their plans and gives Obito a dissaproving frown and the psychic damage is so strong that Obito immediatley goes "ok I guess we don't HAVE to kill the children." And he just frowns harder and Obito twitches and goes ",,, or the adults. I guess. If u really think so."

[joltai-showa]

still thinking about Obito's tendencies to hang upside down so why not talk about something even more funny

now Obito is obviously trolling the Konoha squad in that moment, acting like a complete idiot and weirdo and all, usual stuff for Tobi. Obito is being a weird little bat on purpose, it's all an act

you know who among Akatsuki, a very scary and a totally serious organization, also acted like a weird little bat, but without it all being an act?

allow me to introduce you to the final page of chapter 238

Kishimoto, why is Deidara's first appearance is him being upside down during Akatsuki's zoom meeting?

(which is supposedly the first one in 7 years since Orochimaru ditched them, but whatever, no fucking way these guys can remain semi-organized without a good old online meetup, I do not care for canon's opinion when it conflicts with my funny headcanons)

But seriously, it's been almost 10 years since I read the manga for the first time and there's still no explanation as to why Deidara did that LMAO. Logic dictates that it's simply Kishimoto not finishing up the designs for his new villains (rinnegan's design wasn't finalized until, like, Akatsuki Supression arc, I believe? there's someone TOWERING over Kisame who is 195cm already and at the end of the day remains Akatsuki's tallest member, etc etc), but I've got a PhD in overthinking Naruto details and turning them into shitposts that sometimes also turn into fanfiction, so I will take this one tiny detail and make myself laugh until I cry.

To me this moment is just so precious because it's actually a scene from OG Naruto, meaning that it's pre-timeskip, so Deidara here is only 16. And this just proves to me that Deidara's puberty (there is no exact indicator as to when Deidara was abducted recruited into Akatsuki, but I assume it happened sometime when he was 12, because during his recruitment we see Itachi (and we know that he joined Akatsuki after the massacre, so he was 13 and he's got a 2 year difference with Deidara), Kisame (who, judging by his pre-death flashbacks, joined AFTER Itachi, meaning some time had to have passed since the massacre) and Sasori (who wouldn't have a partner after Itachi joined because Orochimaru just couldn't resist trying to get that Sharingussy, but Akatsuki don't operate on their own in general, so I doubt Sasori would have been left without a partner for a long time, a year max) and during this zoom meeting 16-year-old Deidara speaks like he's very much aligned with Akatsuki's goals and grudges which would be very weird if he joined them against his will just recently, so a year or more would have to pass between Deidara's recruitment and the OG Naruto zoom meeting) was arguably one of the worst things that organization as a whole had to go through because teenage Deidara was JUST BUILT DIFFERENT.

Don't mind the fact that even as an adult he starts tweaking if he doesn't get to explode something every few hours (I would imagine that teenage rage and angst would only exacerbate this issue), but he would also just want to "look cool" and wouldn't listen to anyone in any position of authority AT ALL. Going back to this scene of Akatsuki's zoom call, we can see (and for certain characters assume because once again designs here are kind of wack) that these overly serious members like Pain, Konan, Kakuzu and Sasori are PRESENT and just... don't do anything about Deidara's antics? They just gave up at some point LMAO. And a while ago, I presume.

16-year-old Deidara, proud and puffed up as a lion: You can stay on the ground as boring old men you are, but I'm going to hang upside down today, hm!

Pain, the acting leader of this very serious and lethal organization that for some reason took in a 13-year-old and a 12-year-old because, I dunno, the real leader thought it would be funny, sighing: okay, Deidara...

I also don't believe that it was ever specified how Nagato's zoom jutsu works, but I think Akatsuki's members simply sit in whatever position they want and their projection is different from their actual position which means that. yeah. Deidara does a bat cosplay. because he wants to. baby why are you like that.

but I also like to imagine Deidara actually hanging on the ceiling during the meetup and the gang just going

Pain: Sasori, can't you grab a mop or something and swat him off of there?

Sasori, in the most dead inside voice imaginable: you are not paying me enough to do that. in fact, you would not last a minute in the asylum I'm living in. you can't give me 40 minutes of peace, can you?

honestly props to Onoki for finding a way to both continue using Deidara's skills for his goals (by just fucking paying Akatsuki and calling it a day) and keep the village intact, teenage Deidara just seems like the trial version of what Akatsuki members could expect on their missions. like, if you can't manage the stress of dealing with the (pony)tailed beast, you have no business trying to fight an actual tailed beast.

I'm also thinking that adult Deidara aka Shippuden Deidara would think himself really cringe for doing this shit when he was younger and feels kind of embarrassed in front of the other members (who unfortunately besides Hidan were there to witness his cringe bat phase of growing up in your local terrorist daycare organization), so he's pretty quiet during the zoom meetings when we get properly introduced to him.

That's, of course, until Deidara gets partnered with Tobi.

I can imagine the two of them competing who can last longer hanging upside down and now Pain really can't do anything to stop this bullshit because it's his actual boss and his clueless partner making their own bat nest during their zoom meeting. He just tiredly glances over at Konan who gives him a "I told you Yahiko was right and we shouldn't have joined forces with this guy, but when do you ever listen to me" look.

The gang would be discussing something like Kakuzu and Hidan brutally murdering Asuma (who's Obito's classmate btw and whose mother he already killed a while ago) and trying to steal his corpse to sell for some cash and in the background above them Tobi'll be yelling something like "senpai, watch what I can do" and start turning cartwheels on the ceiling.

tl;dr Obito and Deidara match each other's freak when it comes to doing weird shit for no apparent reason other than to fuck with everyone while on the job. thanks for coming to my TobiTalk

[obitobi-simp]

if he had gone to acting school instad of ninja wizard school

Everything (and I do mean everything) that Obito does can be reduced to a love of roleplay

[r--kt]

Good boy Tobi. Why is he acting this way?

"oh yeah, it was just Zetsu" a-ha, not even close. here I'll talk specifically why Obito resorts to roleplay, and why he is comfortable with the images of Madara and Tobi. (obviously because it's not being himself but let's dig deeper)

contents | responsibility · regrets · a sense of control · conclusions

Vol. 31 CH. 280. Tobi's first appearance.

sure this looks like another defense mechanism that allows Obito to avoid reality, especially when interacting with people. full coverage, imitation of someone else's voice, name change, personality change etc. his clothes literally look like armor, and I'd like to think that hiding and protecting himself "just because it feels right" is exactly the point (no need in armor, he's intangible, so that's a psyche). the very way he completely depersonalizes himself shows that on a subconscious level he is not comfortable being in the conditions he finds himself. this alone may indicate that he is not very happy with his position of a faceless world saviour. and this is his first damn appearance.

Tobi is another manifestation of Obito's escapism, which is the central theme of his story. I have identified three advantages of using Tobi's image for Obito, and all of them will be described below. maybe you'll find some more, feel free to reblog and add your thoughts!

Responsibility

escapism is just stress-relieving. for him, the roleplay was a way to relieve tension from the responsibility that he had imposed on himself. "no one in the whole world can do it except me" must be really exhausting. so what if I just don't be myself for a while? what if I be the one who can make a mistake? it's important to be frivolous and let things go sometimes, otherwise the psyche will be disturbed even more. so, that's the first advantage, that allowed Obito not to go completely crazy.

Regrets

CH. 652

as I said, Obito is not very happy with his position. even though he believes that tsukuyomi plan is correct, this doesn't negate that he is unhappy to fulfill it and suffer the hardships because of it.

during the war, we can see that Obito really regrets that he hadn't live his life the way he could, with his friends and dear ones. he began to ask questions: "could I have a better life?" "who have I become?" "who does my friend see me as?" these feelings burst out only at the culmination, before that they were deeply suppressed, with the help of detachment from reality, which Obito achieved mostly thanks to the image of Tobi. a ridiculous stupid guy who talks nonsense and does not pretend to be any role other than a comic relief. another personality allows Obito to distract himself from the real problems, which he can't reconcile.

CH. 281 idk what an idiot. love him.

in order to avoid all these dangerous thoughts for as long as possible, he came to this escapist behavior. it is not only a convenient tool for manipulation (I'm not really touching on that in this post, though it's important too), but it also distracted him from all his regrets. though, it's funny that he still chose orange and purple colors that probably reminded him of the past.

A Sense of Control

it seems to me that this is the most important reason to pretend to be either an inept, complaisant fool or a legend of the Shinobi world. why these two extremes?

many events in Obito's life showed him that no matter how he acts, he will still be punished, which means he personally has no control over anything. during the exposition, he is late helping the old ladies, but Kakashi condemns him no matter what. during the first turning points, he commits morally correct actions in order to end up first being mutilated and isolated, and then lose the most precious (and only) thing he really had: friendship with Rin and Kakashi. in the end, he does not even have control over his own body until he learns to control the mokuton and gets used to the constantly breaking off or deforming limbs. Madara and Tobi appear as other personalities who are able to achieve control under certain conditions and give Obito the necessary mental stability.

CH. 460

Madara is the epitome of control. the ghost of the Uchiha clan, the fear of which is alive many years after his death. by taking on a character who has more control than Obito did in real life he might feel quite cathartic and empowering, and it offered him a sense of emotional security (the mask helps with it physically, the personality and famous name — mentally).

while Tobi, besides an attempt to make up for lost childhood, is a demonstration of "the lowest standards" so that for once in his life, he did feel that he always met expectations, that more was not required of him. he's incompetent, he messes up, he's irritating, and therefore others don't expect anything else from him. yes, Tobi is judged and punished, but Tobi is not trying to be praised, so his own expectations are not broken.

CH. 359

Madara's personality is convenient because it's dominant, it controls others, inspires them with a certain fear and submission. Tobi's personality is convenient because with its help Obito choose to show fear and submission himself whenever he wants, that is, it does not become an unexpected blow for him. I would add that similar mental mechanisms work in many types of traumatic experience (not talking about his sexual deviations like moderate sadomasochism yet, the man is clearly traumatized).

does it all work? obviously, yes. there's no point in explaining that this whole Madara thing worked perfectly. Tobi, although condemned by Deidara, is at the same time accepted and encouraged by him a bit, simply because it is pointless to expect anything from him. however, this works as long as the fictional personalities do not overlap, as long as others believe in the reality of both.

CH. 396

another interesting topic is that Obito himself began to mix these personalities and demonstrate the falsity of one, which deprived him of the very opportunity to avoid reality (Madara clearly reminds him more of the responsibility on his shoulders than Tobi) and relieve the constantly increasing stress. therefore, starting from the moment when "Madara" shows that "Tobi" was just a cover, Obito loses the advantages of Tobi's image, suppressed regrets gradually surface, stress accumulates, the sense of control disappears for lack of any new personality other than his own (which has problems with control). and all these consequences falls on him during the war.

Conclusions

the reasons for this defense strategy appeared in Obito due to his low self-esteem, which was facilitated by the following. the early death of Obito's parents was most likely at the age when he was too young, and therefore psychologically this loss was fixed as "I was left because something was wrong with me. I can't be loved naturally, I need to deserve it first". because of that there was a constant attempt to be better, to reach the level of a genius opponent, who not only shows with all his appearance that you are not enough, but also constantly pokes you in your own shit like a puppy. and that's not the only situation where you're not that good. there's a lot, actually.

such an environment forms an attitude "to get recognition, I need to try harder than anyone else, because something is wrong with me". subsequently, this attitude is transformed into a new one: "I cannot get recognition in any case, which means I will achieve recognition, respect, attention through pretending and forming other personalities". and that's how Tobi appeared.

I don't even know what to add at the end. it's just great that you can see the depth in Obito, even when he's acting like a moron. here's some admiration for this silly guy

[strawberry-milkbunny]

Naruto is my Roman Empire and I’ve been reading MadaTobi fanfics so these r my Founders Thoughts that nobody asked for:

- Tobirama had a crush on Madara and it PISSED HIM OFF like they def had hate sex at one point LMAO

- they literally worked together ur rlly gonna tell me they didn’t have SOME moments of civility btwn them?? (lowkey that’s wild tho having to see ur brother’s murderer everyday at work-I like Tobi but I’m just sayin)

I WANT A WORKPLACE SITCOM WITH THE FOUNDERS SJSKKSKS:

- Tobi doing experiments and scaring the villagers

- Tobi teaming up with Madara to make Hashi do work

- Hashi making flowers w/government documents

- Mito sipping tea while encouraging Tobi to revive the dead

- everyone in the Tower side eying the sexual tension btwn Madara and Tobi and them never denying they’ve fucked before

- Toka cackling in the background

- Hikaku spraying water at Madara like a cat every time he throws a temper tantrum

- Kagami popping in to make sure his clan head doesn’t kill his teacher PERFECT SITCOM MATERIAL

- totally personal preference: Naruto should’ve had more BLOOD AND GORE. I wanna see the grittiness and horror the shinobi world actually is and how revolutionary Naruto as a character is by choosing peace over violence. The only time we get that is Obito vs Kiri nin, Uchiha Massacre, Wave Arc, Orochimaru…before it turns into DBZ fights

I’ve said this before: Sasuke was in a seinen Naruto was in a shounen

- the warring states is literally the perfect place for exhibiting the horrors of war and humanity. Bloodline thieves, child hunting squads, GIVE. IT. TO. ME. Madara and Hashirama experiencing all of this and wanting PEACE FOR THEIR YOUNGER BROTHERS UGHHH ROBBERY‼️‼️

SORRY TW IMPLIED SA !!:

I HC that bloodline thieves is prob why Madara wears gloves….being a YOUNG (he’s been on the battlefield since he was 8??) powerful, prodigy and future clan head of a famous kekkai genkai it makes sense why he doesn’t like skin-contact/sexual repression and repulsion. And why we don’t see female Uchiha shinobi (excluding misogyny) simply bc there’s such a high risk of SA in this era

Moving on:

- Tobi and Izuna were jealous of how their brothers were being taken away. It goes past the senju/uchiha rivalry like they were just kids and were plain jealous.

- Madara and hashirama def share 1 brain cell LOLLL. Like they’re besties for a reason, Madara acts likes he smarter but nah he’s as much of an idiot as Hashi is. They’re both dreamers let these boys live and skip rocks together!!! 😭😭

- let’s be honest: Tobi built the village. Mans was doing ALL the logistics and infrastructure

- tobirama is soooo second son/eldest daughter coded it’s not even funny. The SPARE, serious and emotionless bc he needed to always clean up after his siblings, DUTIFUL, prob has a praise kink etc.

- Madara is an eldest daughter who also prob has a praise kink and touch starved

- NONE of the founders r well adjusted like they went from spending everyday of their lives at war to tryin bring peace and start essentially a ninja-revolution (PLS GO TO THERAPY)

- madara was just the most open about it: being isolated and feared by his own clan BC he was powerful, trying advocate for the village and peace, all while grieving for his last brother…yeah it makes sense y he went crazy or at least wanted to leave (fuck Kishimoto for that Kaguya bs and fuck Zetsu)

- I don’t actually believe he was trying destroy the village idkkk. I think he was trying to do an SNS aka using fighting as a way to communicate with Hashirama and well…yIkEs

- tobirama is 1000% unadjusted: mans literally created a Justu to revive the dead. You cannot tell me that doesn’t REEK of desperation and loneliness. He’s lit rally the OG mad scientist

- hashirama rlly thought sealing the Bijuu and giving them to each village was a good idea….sir WHO TF GIVES NUCLEAR WEAPONS TO SHINOBI???!! 😳😳

- I think hashirama and naruto lowkey can be summed up as: a powerful idealist. Which is a very dangerous combination. Take that how you will especially considering how shinobi thrive off of violence….it kinda makes sense how we ended up with canon Naruto

- Madara has a god complex and knows it. Hashirama has a god-complex and doesn’t know it. (God of Shinobi title def got to him and understandable)

- the founders failed and they know it. But I also kinda love it?? They’re so flawed and human as leaders and you can see how their mistakes drag into Canon Naruto. It also makes me so sad knowing that Konoha was built to prevent child soldiers and give protection only for it to actually be WORSE (Kakashi ITACHI SANNIN ik for a fact it must’ve hurt Hashi to know ur own granddaughter left the village)

Uchiha are: love is the death of duty while the Senju are: duty is the death of love and neither of them will forgive each other for picking one over the other‼️‼️‼️

- proving this ^^ w/Hashirama’s weird af characterization: aka him being a loveable idiot but at the same time CONGRATULATING Itachi for killing his own clan for Konoha…. I feel like that rlly showed me how much of a war veteran/shinobi Hashirama actually is and how he will always pick duty

- we were ROBBED of baby Kagami/hokage Kagami 😤😤😤 I’m sorry Kagami should’ve been made Hokage it just makes sense personality wise and politically wise. The only way I could see him not take it is bc he needed to be a clan leader/placate the Uchiha/help Hikaku.

- I wanna see him process the loss of his clan leader, teacher, and eventually friends to a point where Danzo takes his eyes

- everyone on Team Tobirama had a crush on Kagami at one point

- one of my fav HC: Tobi and Madara co-parenting Kagami. There’s no way Madara didn’t check up on Kagami being taught by THE senju which makes his defection hit harder for Kagami 😭😭

- BABY SANNIN ‼️‼️‼️ Tsunade was old enough to meet and remember Hashirama it makes sense that Oro and Jiraiya meet the founders

- omg could u imagine being Edo Tensei Hashirama?? Ur granddaughter’s weird friend revives u using the Jutsu ur brother invented that you specifically FORBID 😭😭

- Hashi and Tobi staring at Orochimaru like “you look familiar???” IT HAS SO MUCH COMEDIC POTENTIAL

- Mito revolutionized female shinobi like she’s def the reason ppl realized that girls can fight (Senju Toka was an exception) STAN MITO 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

- Mito pulled a Tsunade and mentally yeeted out of Konoha after Hashi and Tobi died. Bc the way we NEVER hear about her and Hiruzen interacting except for Kushina, even tho she’s literally RELATED to the other 2 hokages….ROBBED 😵‍💫

- I HC: she was dealing w/grief (the fall of Uzushio made it worse) and she was lowkey pushed out of the council by Danzo FUCK DANZO

- I love the idea of Mito wooing for Hashirama’s hand/politically smart Mito!! It was a political marriage that grew into love. There’s no way she DIDNT suspect an attack on Uzushio lik it’s literally an island w/Kiri as it’s neighbours….Konoha gets recognition and stability while Uzushio importantly gets mainland allies

- Mito tops btw she’s def pegged Hashi before 🫢

- if Madara or Hashi had sisters/born women they would’ve def had a marriage to solidify their alliance. This makes Japanese homophobia not make sense esp in the shinobi world bc their clans trusted each other w/o backup like marriage?? Idk I’m just kinda confused y it was never even brought up for an alliance…

*cue MadaTobi arranged marriage au 100k, enemies to lovers, slowburn*

- also to dude bros homophobia has no place in the Naruto world (and IRL BTW) outside of making heirs. They’re literally MERCENARIES You telling me Kakashi has never fucked another man for information before??? Pls be serious I’m begging y’all 🙃🙃🙃

- there’s def family drama amongst the senju!! Idk I feel like Hashirama and Tobirama have the relationship of: “they love each other but don’t like each other” which makes Madara’s inclusion even worse for the brothers’ relationship. Like they def always had each other’s backs but never actually felt like they understood each other.

- I wish more fanfics/canon covered the shinobi-civilian politics more (I love politics lol give me world-building kishimoto 😤)

- Civilians hold power. THEY have all the MONEY to pay shinobi

- I’ve rlly only seen 1 fanfic that involves the Fire Daimyo during the Warring States Era (Into the Wide Blue Yonder it’s a KakaSasu Time travel fic that actually ✨works✨ 12/10 recommend) but it’s true.

Wtf is the Fire Daimyo doing during this era??? Why is he being so placate about Senju/Uchiha war unless he just sees it as entertainment?? How have shinobi NOT fought against rich civilian politicians before?? (Introducing Maoism to the naruto world lol 🤔🤔)

- Kishimoto curse ur goldfish brain….

- the uchiha and senju were def broke in this era, LMAO especially the Uchiha and I mean resource wise. War is EXPENSIVE the Uchiha don’t have Hashirama and Mokutan, they couldn’t just grow food whenever they wanted. It makes total sense that they would agree to a ceasefire just to prevent STARVATION

- once again…. robbed in terms of seeing the aftermath and devastation of war and learning how to live in a morally grey, politically unstable, resource limited world which could’ve brought in the ultimate themes of peace and the cycle of violence, and the question of if violence and war is ever justified, but…..no ❤️

[bh-52]

What are some of your favorite Akatsuki headcannons?

Deidara personally arranges New Year's fireworks displays while Konan and Sasori handle other decorations for their new year's party, and they all help setting up the Lunar New year's Eve festivities in Amegakure

Offscreen, Konan is the mum of the group.

Tobi has a crush on Konan, and he hates that he does because he thinks he's being disloyal to Rin.

Kakazu's idea of money laundering is literally cleaning his dirty money, especially his coins.

Itachi has a mug declaring himself one of the only two sane Akatsuki members, (Konan has the other), and nobody disputes it.

The Akatsuki has a betting pool about whether Nagato and Konan are directly a couple, or if the Deva path (Yahiko's corpse) is dating her.

Obito sometimes steals Kakashi's Icha Icha collections, and hides them in the Kamui dimension. He also reads them.

Nagato makes Wizard of Oz references when Akatsuki members meet the real him.

Sasori's favourite song is There are no strings on me.

Every Akatsuki member, except Zetsu, Kakazu and Orochimaru, has given Konan valentine's day cards.

In his early days as a member, Itachi would have nightmares, and Konan would take it upon herself to calm him down and comfort him.

Konan's extremely ticklish, and loves being tickled.

Hidan, Kakazu, Zetsu & Sasori make horror movies together.

Sasori, Orochimaru & Kakazu were the Akatsuki's official medics.

Hidan is a Jinchuriki for the spirit of Jashin, his immortality being why he was chosen.

Konan wanted to adopt baby Naruto & Fuu, so they could be raised by the Akatsuki. A sentiment a surprising number of members were all for doing.

Orochimaru's favourite Bleach characters are Mayuri Kurotsuchi & Sosuke Aizen.

The Akatsuki invited Zabuza to join, and he told them he'd consider it since he already had Haku to look after.

Hidan wanted to recruit Raiga, but the rest of the Akatsuki rejected the idea faster than Minato using the hiraishin.

Obito (as both Obito and Tobi) tried to win the Dango eating world championship, and lost to Anko Mitarashi both times.

When the group's all together, Itachi's in charge of breakfast, Konan's in charge of lunch and afternoon tea, Kisame's in charge of dinner, and Sasori's in charge of dessert.

Even though he doesn't have taste buds anymore, Sasori still bakes perfectly.

Deidara's favourite song is TNT

[yowyowyaoi]

Deidara: Tobi. I got you something.

Tobi: 

Tobi: H-huh?

Deidara: *holds out a small box* Chocolates. I think there’s some with caramel, and coconut, and —

Tobi: *promptly drops to the floor, clutching his chest*

Deidara, startled: O-Oi! What the hell?! *helps Tobi sit up*Are you sick or something?!

Tobi: No! But you’ve never brought me any kind of present before! Not even on my birthday!

Deidara: *rolls his eyes* So dramatic, hm. Look, just take the candy and don’t make such a big deal about it!

Tobi: *takes the box and opens it, picking a heart-shaped truffle and sliding it under his mask and into his mouth* Am I allowed to ask why Senpai got me these?

Deidara, blushing: Why’s there gotta be a reason, man? I passed by a sweets shop on my way back here. You like chocolate. I got you some chocolate. Just leave it at that.

Tobi: *hesitates, then goes to Deidara and puts both arms around him* Thank you.

Deidara, blushing harder than ever: Y-yeah. You’re welcome, hm.

Tobi, slightly in Obito voice: Wanna make out?

Deidara: W-w-what??

Tobi: Haha, just kidding, Deidara! But since you bought me these chocolates … *pops another one into his mouth, slides his mask to the side, grabs Deidara’s waist, and pulls him into a kiss* Allow me to show you what they taste like.

Deidara: *stunned speechless*

Tobi: Anyways, Tobi is going to go to his room now. And just so Senpai knows, Tobi is also very fond of cakes and cookies, just in case Senpai wants to experience some more tastes with Tobi ~ *leaves*

Deidara:

*several days later*

Kakuzu, opening the mail: Bills, bills, bills. Will I never stop being bled dry of money?!

Kakuzu: Wait a second … *looks at the credit card bill* OVER FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND YEN charged to sweet shops and dessert cafes?! ITACHI!! 

Itachi: That wasn’t me! I’ve been watching my sugar lately!

Kakuzu: Then … who the hell else would be buying so many sweets?!

Deidara, sweating nervously:

[ladykissingfish]

*Deidara walks into Tobi’s room to find him curled up in his bed, facing the wall*

Deidara: *sighs and goes to Tobi’s side* Still, man? You’re still hung up on this?

Tobi, voice muffled: Go away, Senpai. You hurt Tobi’s feelings. You hurt Tobi’s feelings worse than anyone ever has before.

Deidara: … Are you being serious right now, hm? You’re a grown man! You can’t take a little constructive criticism??

Tobi: *turns around and faces Deidara* It wasn’t “constructive criticism”, Senpai! It was super mean and you didn’t even have to say it! Tobi would never say anything like that to you!

Deidara: Okay, you know what? I —

*Pein and Konan walk into the room*

Pein: Deidara. Enough. This idiocy has been going on between the two of you for long enough. Discord between Akatsuki partners is a hindrance to completing missions successfully; therefore, Deidara, you need to apologize.

Deidara, indignantly: Apologize?! Are you kidding me? I was expressing an opinion, hm! How is it my fault if he can’t handle my thoughts??

Konan: Deidara, you heard Leader. While I’m unaware as to what your argument is about, I know that it must be fairly serious, to render someone as happy-go-lucky as Tobi into this sad state. Now apologize.

Deidara, grudgingly and reluctantly: Fine, hm. Tobi, I’m sorry that I said that candy corn is “disgusting” and that you’d “be better off eating melted crayons”, hm.

Konan: … Wait. You two are fighting about candy??

Tobi, in Obito voice: This fucker also said that caramel doesn’t belong in sweets and is worse than the gunk in a toilet bowl! He’s lucky I didn’t kill him!!

Konan and Pein: 

[13as07]

Little Lady #2

(Obito Uchiha)

[Artwork is not mine! Credit to Hoodie-Posts]

Requested by: Anonymous

Word Count: 3,168

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:

Power Difference

Hickeys

“Good Girl”

Part 3?

Also, sorry I've been gone for so long. Life has been... well life-ing and I had a tad bit of writers block :/

———————————————————————

     My footsteps seem loud as I walk down the street. My heart seems loud too. I don't know what sick game Obito is playing with this whole 'having lunch in public' thing, but I know it makes my stomach churn.

     It doesn't take long for the restaurant to fall into view, upsetting my stomach even more. This is a bad idea, a trap even. Thoughts of turning to leave swirl around my mind as I freeze in the middle of the street. Would that make the situation worse? Or better? I don't know. I don't know a lot of things recently, and somehow, they all have to do with the akatsuki member.

     My hands shove their way into my pockets, my dominant hand toying with the pocket knife gifted to me as I continue my walk down the street. No black cloak with red clouds in sight and no Obito in sight either. Maybe I should turn around and go home. Pack Daku and me up, high tail it as far away as possible.

Hands slide across my hips, hooking to me as my arms are pressed to my sides, quickly stopping any attempt to stab the person intruding on my body. "Hello my little lady," Obito's soothing voice coos into my ear and a squeeze of my hips.

I glance to the side, being met with the orange mask and cloudy robes I've grown accustomed to. A straw hat with white ribbons and a single bell is added to his usual look, confusing me even more. A disguise perhaps? "Hello, Ob -"

My greeting is cut off, one of his gloved hands jumping up to wrap around my mouth. "Would you like to meet my partner?" He asks, his voice high and chirping instead of the soothing voice I'm used to. I tilt my head, my eyebrows pressed together. Obito has a partner? Why is he so obsessed with me then? Slowly, he pulls away, stalling by my ear for a moment. "Remember, I'm Tobi at work, Little Lady." Oh, it's that kind of partner... oh dear Lord, it's that kind of partner.

He finishes pulling away from me, a hand falling from me as the other one jumps up to my bicep. He uses his grip to turn me around. I'm spun quicker than expected, making me a bit dizzy.

Once my eyes settle, I'm met with a short boy in the same disguise as Obito. Instead of an orange mask poking through the ribbons of the hat, there's a baby face and snips of blonde hair. How young is this kid? Is he seriously an akatsuki member?

"Deidara, this is my Little Lady," Obito introduces, his hand falling back down to my hip, quickly pulling me into his side. I settle my hands on my belt, toying with it as I look at the ground. Why does this feel like an awkward 'meeting your boyfriend's friends' situation? "Little Lady, this is my work partner, Deidara."

"Nice to meet you," I whisper, focusing on my shoes. Great I'm stuck having lunch with two murderers. Two akatsuki members. What could go wrong?

"Nice to meet you too," the shorter man returns my greeting, his voice deeper than I expected. "Aren't you a pretty thing," he continues, leaning forward. He leans close enough that the ribbons of his hat rub against my cheeks, only adding to my nervousness. "What a beautiful piece of artwork."

The man raises his hand, but Obito snatches it before his partner can rub his fingertips across my cheeks. "Nuh uh uh," Obito starts, his grip tightening around his partner's wrist. The hand on my hip dips down a second, easily passing under the hem of my shirt before sliding up again. The material of his glove dances over my skin, just above my waistband. "Don't touch what's not yours, Deidara." His voice is still chirped but has a threatening undertone to it.

     Blonde rolls his eyes, snapping his wrist away from Obito. "I didn't know you were so protective of your Little Lady," the boy teases, sending me a sparkly smile. A lady's man I see.

     Obito's hand jumps up, clinging to my waist as his fingers dig into my skin. "You know it," he chirps, quickly pushing me in front of me and aiming me down the road. His partner giggles, hands on his head as he follows behind us.

     I'm bumped into, Obito's chest against my back no matter how quick my steps are. Anger waves off of him, the angrier he gets the more his partner giggles. "Are you okay?" I whisper, tipping my head up a bit. I don't know why but I'm almost sad to see his mask instead of his face.

     His head dips, the plastic of his mask clicking against my head. "I'm fine."

     "You're not."

     He softly sighs, hand sliding up even further. Obito's fingertips slide over the wire of my bra, making me super nervous with a slow drip of arousal mixed in. For a split second, I almost forget the situation I'm in. "No, I'm not. I don't like seeing Deidara touch you, let alone smiling at you. You're my Little Lady." Just like the small touches, his empathize with the word 'my' makes me tingle with a mix of fear and excitement. This is going to be a long lunch.

                    ————————————

     Weight is added to my back, a weight that's more than Daku who's curled up and fast asleep between my shoulder blades. The added pressure makes me panic, my fingers instantly wrapping around the pocket knife curled up under my pillow just like my arms.

     "I know I said I'd stop breaking in, Little Lady," Obito's voice whispers closer to me than I thought it would be. The sound of him both calms me and makes me panic. He might be a threat but at least he's a threat I've grown used to. A known threat is better than a new threat. "But, I need your assistance."

     I let out a sigh of both relief and annoyance. Maybe I should look into getting a dog. Obito's fingertips dance over my spinal cord, sliding over the bumps of it despite the night-shirt I'm lying in. I'd be lying if I said the soft touches don't help calm my nerves. Dumb akatsuki member. Making me feel weird contradicting shit all the time.

Obito's hand stops rubbing at me for only a beat, long enough to lift Daku off my back. My cat is settled on a bed, a yawn and a stretch coming from him before he curls up again. Soon, his hand is back to rubbing at me, adding gentle pressure occasionally.

     "What do you need help with?" I ask my question almost hiding the feeling of his fingertips dipping under my shirt, sliding over the strip of skin above my pajama bottoms. Almost.

     "I'm sorry for breaking in again," he whispers, his hand sliding up my back, slowly tugging my shirt up until it rests above my shoulder blades.

     "It's fine," I half hiss, half breath out. My skin feels on fire, the flames licking the path laid out by his fingertips. "Obito?"

     He hums, the gentle sound of him shifting leading the feeling of his lips brushing against my spinal cord, carefully kissing every vertebrate bump, all the way up to my neck. Fear tangles with a quickly increasing trickle of arousal.

     "Sorry, my Little Lady. I'm still a bit upset about your introduction to Deidara," he whispers against the middle of my back, pressing another kiss against me before shifting up again. "Anyway, I have been stabbed again. Only twice this time," he continues, his hand coating down my back once again as he tugs my shirt into place.

     "That's good," I whisper, my mind still wispy from the arousal and the quickly shrinking fear. "Wait what?" I ask, snapping out of the fog.

     "I got stabbed again."

     I shake my head at the man crisscrossed on my bed, pushing myself off my stomach and onto my knees. "You get stabbed a lot. I'm starting to think you're getting hurt on purpose," I tease, a soft giggle following my words.

     "I am... to an extent," He mutters, his eyes slowly sliding down me, quickly igniting the snuffed-out spark.

     I can't focus on that. For one, Obito is an akatsuki member, and for two, he's getting hurt on purpose. "Why?" I press, leaning over to dig around under my bed, in search of the first aid kit I've decided to keep stashed there.

     He waits for me to sit upright, the kit between my knees as I look at him and he looks at me. Well, I'm looking at him, and Obito is looking at my thighs. "I like getting to see you," he starts, his fingers sliding over my knee, slowly crawling up until the tips of them are hidden under my shorts. "I like talking to you. I like looking at you," he continues, leaning forward until his lips are pressed against my neck.

     The flames from before start sizzling against my throat, only chilling when Obito's tongue slides out, pressing the flavor of my skin against his taste buds. "Obito," I breathe out, my thoughts hard to keep straight. He hums, the edge of his teeth being added to the attention of my neck and the lack of control over my thoughts. "I'm loyal to my village. I'm not going to betray my home."

     "I know," he hums, shifting up a bit before continuing to suck and nibble on my neck. "That's why I won't ask you to choose. I just enjoy my time with you." Obito is pulled away from my neck by now, his finger sliding over my bottom lip, and his crazy eyes locked in the same place.

     "Okay," I manage to squeeze out, the oxygen from my lungs seeming to be cut short from his confusion and the overwhelming calm in his eyes. Dear Lord is this what Stockholm Syndrome feels like?

     "Can I spend the night? After you fix me up?" I quickly nod my head, completely wrapped up in Obito's gentleness. Ya, ya, definitely Stockholm Syndrome. "Good," he whispers, leaning forward to slide his lips against mine, just as soft and gentle as all his other touches.

     The kiss catches me off guard, someone more than the rest even though this kiss has been the most acceptable one so far. If you can say that.

     A satisfied hum comes from him, pulling me out of my thoughts. "You looked so pretty when I kissed you. Can I do it again?"

     "No," I race out, my disapproval being the front man for the fear crawling up my throat.

     Obito's eyes squint for just a moment before they're back to being round and full of happiness. "Alright. I'll give you a moment to settle down and then I'll ask again later if that's alright with you."

     "I might say no again."

     "But you might not," he counters, his smile growing from my answer. "And the possibility of a yes is good enough for me. Even if it's a fake possibility." I hate the akatsuki and their smug little members.

                    ————————————

     My mind is twirling as I wander back and forth around my room, sort of doing laundry but not really. It's taken me five minutes to hang a single shirt, the chaos of my mind making it difficult to focus on a single task.

Obito is asleep in my bed, his limbs thrown around the bed and twisted within my bedsheets as he sleeps. I can't believe I let him spend the night. There is a terrorist, a murderer, an akatsuki member fast asleep in my bed like he has been, all night. I must be insane or something.

I settle on the edge of the bed, laundry forgotten as I look over the man fast asleep. His chest is bare, most of him is bare. Obito stripped down to his boxers to sleep, which made me both nervous and excited again. Even now it forces the two emotions to mix in my chest. His chest is blotchy like I've grown used to. Peachy skin and pure white mix across all of him, though it seems most of it is divided to one side.

"Why are you staring at me, my Little Lady?" Obito's rigged voice mutters, tearing me out of my peeking and making my cheeks heat. "Seems like we've switched spots."

"What do you mean?"

"Usually I'm the one watching you like a creeper while you sleep. Now you're watching me," he tries to tease, helping the fear in my chest win the fight between my emotions. The fear starts to diminish when Obito sits up, stretching out his arms, and making his shoulders flex.

The arousal is winning now, courtesy of his muscles on a show and the burning memory of his lips on my skin last night. My eyes scorch over his muscles, his muscles that I've never seen in the light. "I'm sorry for staring."

He chuckles, moving forward quicker than I'm used to him moving. Obito wraps me up in his arms, tugging me forward and flipping us around. When we're settled, my back is laid against my mattress and I'm propped up on my pillows. His arms are around my waist, a knee rests between my legs, and his head is buried into my neck.

It takes a second for my heart to settle down, the leftover hallow feeling of free not leaving as quickly as I'd like it to. "You're tense. Why are you tense?" Obito asks, his lips already latched onto one of the hickeys he left last night, promising to make it darker.

"You're tense too," I whisper, letting my hands settle on his shoulders.

"Of course I am," he hums, sliding down an inch or two before he starts sucking on my throat again.

"Of course you are?"

Obito chuckles, his kisses going soft again, dancing the exposed skin of my chest. "Yes, of course, I am," he starts, his hands softly massaging my sides. "I just spent the night sharing a bed with the apple of my eye who let me kiss up on her all night. I'm going to be a little tense."

It takes a moment, but his confession does finally click in my head, making my cheeks heat up again. Great, now I accidentally turned on my stalker. He chuckles again, his fingers wrapping around the hem of my shirt as he toys with it. "I'm sorry," I repeat, focusing my eyes on my hands as I massage his shoulders.

"You don't have to be sorry," he mutters, sliding his hand under my shirt, his fingertips slowly crawling up my side. Obito starts sucking on my neck again, this time on the center forcing my head upward. "Do you want to continue?" He whispers, slowly making his way up my throat.

     "I don't know," I answer honestly, the massage to his shoulders forgotten as I cling to him. A part of me knows this is bad, that it goes against my village and myself, but another part of me knows I'm on fire and his lips seem to be the only way to cool the flames down.

     The hand on my side stalls, just below my bare chest. His fingers go back to work, focused like he can mold the flesh of my side if he focuses on massaging it enough. His lips go light, still dragging across my heck but no longer sucking proof of himself into me. "Then we'll stay just like this until you say otherwise."

     I know consent is a basic human right, one that everyone deserves, but for some reason hearing this man who could easily take whatever he wanted regardless of my feelings be so willing to obey such a simple thing is hot. Is this what hooks the girls at work on those dark romance books? A big bad guy known for not taking no for an answer so willing to obey the word from their love interest? Oh my, I'm truly living one of those books right now, aren't I? I think I am. Those girls turn out fine... usually, right?

     "Obito?"

     "My Little Lady?" He hums, planting slow and dragged-out kisses across my jaw.

     "Please?" I whisper, tilting my head down so our noses brush against each other.

     "Please what?" He asks, lips teasingly light against mine as the purple and red of his eyes stare back into my eyes. "Do you want a kiss?"

     I slowly shake my head, not able to pull away from the different colors. It's a bad idea to look into his eyes. What if he's coaxing me into wanting to kiss? Into wanting more? I've heard of eyes that hold abilities so powerful. "No, I don't," I whisper, pulling away from him. My head turns and my eyes snap closed as I take a breather; maybe the feelings aren't fabricated by Obito. Maybe they are real. I don't know anymore. 

     "Alright, Little Lady," he hums a drop of disappointment in his words. Obito lays a soft kiss on my cheek before his hand falls, secured gently on my hip like his other one. His head follows suit, tumbling down to rest on my shoulder his nose pressed against my neck. "I wish to go back to sleep unless you want me gone from your home, of course."

     "No, you're fine," I utter, my eyes snapping between the wall and Obito's resting place on top of me.

     Once the approval to stay is let out, he shifts, both legs caging mine between his instead of his knee resting between my thighs. It takes a moment, but the tension in his body is let out. A long sigh audits Obito relaxing against me, pressing his body weight into mine. "Let me know if you need me to get off."

     "I will."

     "Good girl."

     My body heats up for the two soft-spoken words, the main of the heat jumping to my cheeks and falling down my core. Alright, the feelings stirring in my chest - and way below that - aren't fabricated, that's for sure.

     "What am I going to do with you?" I ask him, my focus set on Daku's cat tree propped up in the corner of the room.

     "Love me is what I'm hoping for," Obito whispers into my skin again, pairing the soft words with an equally soft kiss. "But I know that's going to take some time for you to get to, especially with the fears I caused with our introduction. That's alright, I'll wait for you, my Little Lady."

     I'll wait for you, my Little Lady. I'll wait for you. I'll wait.

     His words echo in my head as I let myself relax against the pillows behind me. Stockholm Syndrome or dark romance story? I guess only time will tell.

———————————————————————

[anime-fan-05]

Naruto ~First kiss 2nd part~

1st part is here.

I'm so proud of Gaara: he became Kazekage!

After everything that happened with the villagers, I'm so happy he has now managed to be accepted. Of course, there are still those who treat him badly, but I know that he'll never give in to his hatred again.

While I was deep in thought about my boyfriend, the investment ceremony ended. Oh no! I missed his speech!

In the meantime, Gaara came to me, so we could go to his celebratory refreshment together.

"Congratulations, Gaara!" I say and hug him.

"Thank you, honey." He returns the hug with love, holding me tightly to him. Then, we go to his refreshment.

As time goes by, I'm more and more nervous, since I will have to give him my gift: I decided I would give him a kiss, my first kiss.

How anxious! The time has come.

"Gaara -I get up- I want to tell you that I'm very proud of you. I also want to say thank you for always being by my side. So, now it's my turn: I'll be here for everything, okay? I may not be a strong and courageous kunoichi, but I can listen to you and help you if you need it." When I finish, Gaara has tears in his eyes.

"And as for my gift to you... I decided to give you something small, but significant. However, to give it to you, you will have to come here to me and close your eyes."

He looks at me questioningly, but he does as I told him anyway.

When he's facing me, I gently cup his cheeks and lower him slightly to my level, then I gently press my lips to his.

Today isn't a happy day for Kakashi, my boyfriend: thirteen years ago, during the Third Shinobi World War, his best friend Obito died.

I'm very worried about him, especially because he's been at K.I.A. stone all day.

I was so worried that I decided to go to him. Although I shouldn't invade his space, I'm too afraid: I fear he's suffering. And, if he suffers, I suffer too.

"Kashi?" I try to catch his attention.

He turns and looks at me. I can see his eyes: although he isn't crying, these are red and shiny. I know he's about to cry.

Without thinking twice, I run to hug him.

"I won't force you to talk, because I know you're very private about your feelings, but I'm here. I'm here if you want, if you need someone to be with you. I certainly won't be able to replace your father, Obito, Rin or Minato, but I can help you: I don't know if it's the same for you, but I think that even just the presence of someone can help us feel better. Seriously, I'm here and I will never leave you."

I feel him hug me back and bury his face in the hollow of my neck. I also feel wetness on my neck and light sobs.

After minutes of crying, he moves away from my neck, but he continues to hug me.

"Thank you, my love. I know I never say it, but I love you so much."

He lowers his mask with a lightning gesture, without giving me the chance to see his face, and captures my lips with his in a sweet kiss.

"Come on, (Y/N)-chan, give me a hug!"

"Tobi, please! I have to prepare our dinner!"

"But Tobi wants attention! Tobi was a good boy; Tobi deserves affection. Come on, (Y/N)-chan, hug me!"

"No, Tobi! If I hug you, you'll never let me go. Now, please, let me prepare dinner." It's the same as being engaged to a child! But Tobi is so cute, although at times he seems to transform into a more mature man. How strange...

"Tobi, I'll hug you only if you promise me you'll let me go cook."

"But Tobi wants to cuddle (Y/N)-chan!"

"Then, if you want tu cuddle me, you'll have to take off your mask. These are the two choices." When I look at Tobi, he's still.

"Tobi, are you ok? Sorry, I asked too much. Come -I open my arms- I'll give you a hug." However, he still remains motionless.

"No -here's his deeper tone again- I trust you enough to reveal my true identity to you." Really? Do you trust me that much?

After saying that, he takes his mask off, and I see...

"Obito?!" I can't believe it. He's alive!

"W-what... I thought you were... How..." I'm confused and I'm not understanding anything, but an incredible happiness spreads inside me: the person I loved as a girl is alive and is the person I'm in love with now.

Without even realizing it, I throw myself on top of him, hugging him tightly and starting to cry. He holds me close.

"Why don't you tell me? Don't you know how bad I felt, how much I suffered when I learned you were dead?"

"Sorry, (Y/N). I promise I'll answer all the questions you ask me. But first I want to give you another sign of my trust and love." Another sign?

He breaks away from our embrace and takes my right cheek with his hand, and his other hand gently takes my waist; after, he sweetly kiss me.

I'm really happy: today my boyfriend Itachi will return after a month-long mission! For this reason I decided to prepare him dango, his favorite dish.

As soon as I finish preparing dango, I hear the front door open, so I hastily hide the sweets and run to Itachi.

"Tachi -I hug him- you're back!" I feel him holding me tight, but it's different from his usual grip: this one is tighter, and he's holding me tight as if I could disappear at any moment.

"Are you ok, Tachi?"

"I'm sorry for making you worry, sweetheart. I'm fine, I was just thinking about how immensely lucky I am to be with you." His sentence makes me blush, but it also makes me wonder why he told me these things.

"Has something happened?"

"Yes, I met my brother when I searched for the Kyuubi with Kisame."

If only Sasuke and everyone else knew that Tachi did everything he did for his and Konoha's safety...

"You know I can't tell them." Did I say it out loud?

"L-let's go to eat? -I change the subject- I also made dango for you today!" I see his eyes light up and a small smile makes its way onto his face. So cute!

We eat in silence. I'm thinking about his words: he didn't tell me explicitly, but I know he wants Sasuke to kill him not knowing the truth about him. What will I do when he dies?

"(Y/N)? Are you ok?"

"Huh? O-oh, yes, I am."

"You're thinking about my words, right? -how does he know?- Don't worry: I decided all this. However, I won't die for two or three years, since Sasuke doesn't have enough hate in himself yet. And-"

"Oi, Itachi. Leader wants to meet us." No! You interrupted us, Kisame! By the way, who gave you permission to enter my house whenever you want? I'm engaged to Itachi, not to you!

"All right, I'm coming."

After donning the Akatsuki cloak, he turns to look at me: "Sorry, my love. We'll talk when I get back, but before..."

He comes over and hugs me gently; then, he bows his head slightly and he softly and gently presses his lips to mine, capturing them in our first kiss.

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