#esp with the way you treat me publicly anyways.

[streamdotpng]

i closed my eyes and suddenly, i became known as the monsterfucker anon—ANYWAY; wednesday doesn't seem to be the type to become a green eyed monster but how does she react to the talks about people crushing on her girl? specially since their relationship status is vague, i could see someone (maybe a co-star or just a fan) asking sin out in her presence or publicly hearing someone wishing sin to rail them. speaking of which, with all the interview talks, i can def see hem reading thirst tweets together

you said that you didn't think really that far in but I HAVE TO ASK: how influential is the show and streamers like endespair in terms of the way outcasts are treated? being called a monsterfucker seems to be more derogatory than funny or nice tbh. is helios also a late bloomer like enid? and is viper also one for the macabre? if so, i feel like her describing helios' transformation to be graceful is so viper of her

since isabelle is an endespair fan, has she done anything to wednesday in behalf of endespair? like endespair is opening fan mail for like a special or something and suddenly comes across a paper she remembered isabelle asked her and the rest of the cast to sign or a poster of the lunal curse with wednesday's signature. is that a bit awkward for her? how does she treat it? esp since isabelle doesn't rlly seem to hide her infatuation with endespair. how does wednesday react? does she feel more obligated to show up as willa in the background?

you said that wenclair isn't really hiding their relationship. will endespair ever be like "o yea guys im e "sin" addams, watch lunal curse now" or sum? would isabelle notice certain traits sin and endespair share that lead her to realizing theyre the same person? does sin call wednesday willa on set? does anyone even bother to question why these two have matching rings? on why they're always so sus and gomez/morticia-like?? why are sins eyes suddenly pitch black when looking at wednesday but bright blue when at literally anyone else??

the interview about werewolves thoughts on the lunal curse, does it ever click to people that the cute werewolf blonde with huge teeth who praised the book and the upcoming adaptation—THE ONE WHO CALLED WEDNESDAY HER WIFE– IS THE SAME PRETTY WOMAN WEDNESDAY IS OFTEN SEEN WITH? THE ONE SHE'S SO COMFORTABLE AND HAPPY WITH???

THE BTS OF WENCLAIR— they're mostly in the background but they're never NOT doing anything. people go crazy for romance and probably see how close these two are. i mean, their co-workers see it, how can the world not? master lip readers come out and reveal the disgusting, dirty stuff these two speak in what seems to be a million different languages. it causes people to look deeper in miss e. addams, the beast that got wednesday out of her cage. WEDNESDAYS HANDS ARE UNDER HER SHIRT PEOPLE, BEST FRIENDS DONT DO THAT!!!

WHAT IF WEDNESDAY'S WALLET GETS LOST AND PEOPLE SEE THEIR MARRIAGE PHOTOS + OTHER STUFF LIKE LETTERS THEY EXCHANGE????

I swear being known as a monsterfucker is uh

Hm

Seeing as outcasts exists, it's kinda up in the air. Like one, being known as a monsterfucker is usually in jest and people just think you have a type or worse case, you got a fetish💀 which is what Wednesday's PR doesn't want her known for. They just twisted it into a fascination with actual monsters.

The more outcast inclined people in Wednesday's Fandom tend to think she simply has a type and it's just a running joke bc of what she writes. Kinda like how people hope she gets her own golden retriever werewolf Gf like Viper 🥺 bc clearly she's projecting her want /j

Anyways, as for if Wednesday reacts! She always hides a smile behind a mug when such talks happen, it's smug asf too. Like I got what you can't have <3

It's hard to be jealous when their relationship survived like 5-6 years of ldr so they trust each other a lot! She does tease Enid abt it tho, much to the werewolf's confusion.

"they want me to what-"

"yes my dear, they went you to do the very same thing you did to m-" sudden hand on mouth.

"wends you can't just say that in public!?"

Pushing that quickly aside, the outcasts racism thing isn't as bad here as it is in my streamer Wednesday au.

The forevermore series change the outcasts view from caution to intrigued, it's why endespair is such a niche streamer bc it's not everyday you see a supposed scary werewolf scream like a little girl and admire a woman.

Also seeing as imperial gold (ship name of helios and Viper) is literally Wenclair, yes Helios is a late bloomer and Viper is into the dark and macabre. It's why the show decides to go with Viper narrating some of helios' scenes and vice versa for that good contrast.

"despite the fact that I've been in this school for years, I haven't been granted the blessing to see Helios shift right before my very eyes.

Now that I'm gifted such an opportunity, I cannot believe the time I've wasted not seeing it.

She's beautiful.

All big gleaming teeth and a body shifting to a form no one else can compare too."

Then on screen is the most brutal looking werewolf transformation ever.

Meanwhile, we got Helios over here stating the obvious.

"to the stars, moons, planets above- they did not have the right to give my deadly roomie a silver knife"

Helios is standing there, looking fucking enraptured with blow out eyes as Viper does idk, smth. I haven't figured out the plot of Lunal Curse other than the main points soooo, it's left vague on purpose.

Endespair doesn't accept fanmail, left over paranoia from the stalker in her junior year so isabelle can't send such things.

Wednesday doesn't at all feel obligated to pop into stream as Willa. They just work in the same room and if Enid wants to go stand up to bring her wife into a hug then that's their business as chat cries abt how single they're making them feel.

As for if Isabelle, I feel like. She'd be in denial? But then she realizes the scar Enid has isn't just effects but real and she goes, oh shit

Like just a little bit bc the way Endespair carries herself is alot more easily exagerrated compared to how Enid normally is. It doesn't help that Enid dyed her hair a little bit more saturated for Helios so they may look similar if you double take.

So she was like 'aha, totally a coincidence' but when she's watching a endespair stream, Mika will wonder where shes watching sin from.

The two fucking PANIC after that

As for the matching rings, I made Enid wear two rings just for that reason too! So in the end It just looks like they're wearing accessories, that's all. Gold rings for Enid bc the obvious is obvious and white gold for wednesday.

Enid cringes at the thought of seeing herself on screen. So she doesn't at all bring up her status as Sin on stream. Someone brings up that there's a werewolf acting with Wednesday Addams? Cringe, disgusting, hurling noises

She's her own hater and chat takes it as Enid being low key jealous that it's another werewolf and not her.

As for whether people recognize Enid from that werewolf interview, they recognize her as endespair than sin. The dorky ass clothes, known beanie and overall simp mannerisms clocked it to her Fandom.

Sorry anon,, people are delusional sometimes so while they note the simp werewolf, they don't linger on it too long.

Wenclair bts? You're so right, whenever they're outside of their room, they do alot of things. Like Wednesday chasing Enid who's wearing a bit too tight of a shirt with the smaller lady wearing a jacket that suspiciously is a bit too baggy.

Sometimes you can see Wednesday looking over papers and Enid is just leaning over her, practically caging the director in between her arms.

Inbetween breaks, if Enid is ever drinking smth, the cast kinda does a double take when Wednesday grabs the bottle and drinks from it. They didn't even looked shocked, like yeah this happens.

Idt Wednesday would ever lose her wallet, but that would definitely be one way to reveal the relationship

[propertyofkylar]

royalty au asks yayyyy

hmmm...i guess a lot like being kidnapped by normal eden lol. i can't imagine she's much different. just like...oubliette instead of cage lmao. she still would leash you and make you do chores and stuff.

no notes.

yeah. i like "king" whit but unofficial leader type.

YES and still very educated in historic devices hehehehe

asshole ringleader mf....im in love w her i need her to be mean to me

this is fun bc i feel like the implications of making pc higher class are more serious in this setting. you know what i mean? like avery's reputation is really on the line. she would give pc the finest gowns and jewels just to make herself look better. and i would let her tbh

oh yeah she's for sure a menace. ties you up and humiliates you in front of her whole "kingdom" of thieves. oh to be publicly humiliated by king whitney....yeag...

guys im just typing this as im thinking but the fact that im already this many asks in (speaking of public humiliation) is so embarrassing bc theres so many more to go. im such a failure im sorry im bad at answering asks

bony and malnourished from a life on the streets...but no worries i can fix her

again. a real menace. she loves to mark you up so eveyrone knows you're one of her possessions. esp if you're the spy type and sneak into palaces and consort w royalty often...king whit marks you up extra in case that princess kylar is getting a look at you <3

this is in reference to this post and sounds good t o me...wolfman will probably be in black wolf's kingdom anyway

hmmmm...i think exile eden is living her life the way she wants to do and if anyone gets in her way...well....

it can be anything...

i thought this was fun i got nothing to add just wanted to share :D

i just thought they were kinda fun but i still prefer regular mean old queen avery. fucking hag ass bitch i love her

skinny dipping like in the hot tub.....just enjoyinh some nice privacy with queen avery and her favorite concubine.......doesn't she deserve a reward for treating you so well ??

since poor princess kylar's parents transformed when she was so young she does not know a lot about the world and has many questions. the good news is she has a wonderful servant who is totally not enslaved or a prisoner or anything who is there to help answer all her questions. the rest of the castle knows not to bother princess kylar when she brings her favorite servant to her chambers. she's getting special tutoring in life lessons...

this is amazing and on god i will turn it into a fic. i swear

i don't know what this means lol

THAT's IT EVERYBODY I AM SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG don't ask how old some of these are. i don't wish to discuss it

[boyswanna-be-her]

that was truly an insanely out of pocket ask. anyway it makes me happy to hear about what makes you happy, and how your day to day is going, and what you're excited about. hope you have a good rest of your day <3

Thanks! Their apology meant a world of difference to me. The ask also lead to me reaching out directly to FIVE different long time IRL friends who had seen me in the past three days before receiving the ask. Getting a temp check with people who have known you a long time and seen you recently is definitely helpful, and although the ask made me spiral for like 2 hours, it also generated some unexpectedly affirming conversations, where people who have all known me since 2005-2008 all independent of one another basically said that they had indeed noticed that I'm more talkative and outgoing lately, but that it hadn't pinged them in any sort of concerning way. I fuck heavily with the opinion esp of 3/5 of the people in this regard because that proportion of this group had previously reached out to me in a panic worried about me because they perceived me as so sad/detached. Two of them in particular got me engaged with environmental volunteering immediately after all my 2018 bullshit where I was in super heavy PTSD territory, and I can directly credit them for a lot of connections and drives I have today. And 2 of them have also conducted mandatory wellness checks when I didn't communicate with them often enough via text for them to be comfy. And I love them for that in ways they'll never really understand.

Anyway. The general message was that nobody had been alarmed, the ask seemed out of left field to them (they don't read my blog, but they're all aware of it and tumblr-smart), and that they'd all been happy to be happy for me this year.

No ragrets. If nothing else, being able to reach out to so many friends who have been with me for so long but also so recently was validating, and that none of them were worried about me is great. I don't think I would've had any other impetus to request all those low-consequence feedback seshes had I not received the ask. None of the people pinged have anything to gain from lying to me and again, in the past, the majority have not had a problem expressing concern about my mental health.

So like. Yeah that shit threw me super hard yesterday and I immediately re-evaluated the way that I express myself here and elsewhere. I feel like I had recently re-channeled my early days of tumblr where everything was highly unfiltered, capslock and screaming in tags was quite normal, I was a small fish in a big pond, etc--because that's when it was an exciting era for me as a creator on here. I miss a lot of that energy.

And full disclosure, in my relationship before last, the one that really and truly broke my heart on top of losing Jonathan to suicide, we didn't share ANYTHING publicly. And I was so deep. And then they broke up with me horribly a month after Jonathan died and I found him!!!!!... well, how could anyone on the outside mourn a relationship they didn't know about when my RECENTLY (for my safety lol) ex-husband had just died horrifiecally? They didn't know. The scale was so weird for everyone but me. Only a handful of people even knew I was in a new relationship that i perceived as supportive and, like, a soulmate type gig. I was so sure of everything that I didn't share ANYTHING and that super fucked me over in the end.

It was awful and alienating and I wished all along that we had shared more. So I don't wanna do that shit anymore. I'm excited about shit in my life and people in my life and meeting people and finding gigs and I don't want input on that, so please treat me like the 38 year old human being I am. I have been through more bullshit than you could possibly understand, even if you read every post I ever made here, even if you were my best friend who I told everything to (doesn't exist but good concept). Assumptions are unwelcome. I'm old and I'm angry and I have energy and that's what's up. I just want people to be on board to see this middle aged piece of shit maybe like find a reason to live again and not die alone.

[yakocchi]

Our Prenuptial Nightmare // Eisuke

hooray, finally the end to this dumb season LOL but i like this one a lot…… maybe it’s even the one from this season only worth reading (i havent read all of them tho)

well this one is actually kind of refreshing bc as i posted before, it’s abt the MC losing her memories. she’s not just a season 1 blank slate… she doesn’t remember anything after getting a job at the Tres Spades, so she barely remembers her own friends as well. yikesu

my rambling behind the cut

so eisuke honestly treats her the same as he always does, just obviously more distanced (im gonna read the His POV after this so idk rn). shes pretty spooked about this scary guy, maybe even more than she was in season 1 since he’s way more caring about her health or w/e despite being a CEO and all. for a pretty long time, he keeps her stuck in the hospital. he brings her a dvd that contains a media appearance of him publicly introducing her as his fiancée and she’s like “tf, is this a prank???” and all sorts of ppl visit her and stuff. shes still pretty much in disbelief about the whole thing until her parents come visit and they clearly know who this weird guy is

eventually she gets stuck in his penthouse instead. tbh she’s probably not ��healthy” enough to work rn given that she doesn’t remember anything about her job, but she can’t even step one foot outside the room without soryu and his goons (appointed by eisuke) being like “HEY WAT U DOIN” so it’s kind of dull and jarring for her haha. later she finds a diary that she wrote in before her memory loss and she’s like “oh wow……. i was simpin that hard for this guy huh” (ok more like “wow, i really love this guy huh”… but i mean same thing). she also wants to make food for him and cooked up a risotto but since eisuke’s been busy af, she ends up falling asleep before he comes home (late) to eat it.

then eventually she presses forward about learning more bc she feels that eisuke is hiding a lot about himself, esp. in terms of what he does. and shes right abt that bc hes purposefully not saying anything abt the black market auctions, etc. eventually eisuke gives in and explains to her the whole 20m bid thing that started this whole romance. she tells him she wants to learn more, and so eisuke turns it into a whole date. They have a date that’s the “type of date for a first date”, and then it concludes with the inn at Kobe.

PART 2 eisuke makes it sound like hes gonna bone her but obv the guy is just teasing for the most part and it ends p cute bc he’s sweet (sweet for his standards) about it. later they go to that same petting zoo or w/e with the cute bunnies. lol eventually the same bunny that doesn’t seem to hate him shows up too. they end up bringing the rabbit home (the rabbit’s name is Maron, as in “chestnut”) to take care of. i guess maron is their animal bebe now it’s been like a month, so she returns to work eventually. hikaru notes that she’s doing pretty well for someone who doesn’t remember how any of this works. but then later, she passes out while remembering the strange discussion she overheard the day she lost her memories. eisuke goes WAH MC and then when she eventually wakes up and he’s like “it’s ok, dw abt it” while she’s like “bro i got something to tell u”. next day he tells her that he’s made her the Floor Leader of the eventual “Tres Spades Maldives”, but then she realizes during the flight that the man with her is not Eisuke, but Yuuma sent there to comfort her and also to do the Maldives business stuff. it’s obvious eisuke’s trying to separate from her. after all, it’s been a month and there’s no sign of her memories returning. he’s pretty blunt about organizing all of it without her realizing (wow what’s new). she’s really sad about it but relents and goes with it anyway. i mean eisuke is obviously pretty sad about it too since he parts with her with that genuine smile and says along the lines of “Don’t forget… that I’ve always loved your dumb face.” why i QQin BRO

well hikaru and yuuma are here in maldives so not too bad. also the penthouse bedroom is pretty good, it’s an aquarium lookin thing anyway so obv eventually the “generic gangster model” guy has to show up and kidnap her. well yuuma comes to the rescue and blahblah they want to murder her bc eisuke knew too much abt business nonsense going on again and then she dives into the sea. before she drowns, the real eisuke miraculously shows up to save her blahblah everyone else comes to save the day (2) and then they return to the Maldives suite. eisuke is like “smh i should’ve taught u how to protect urself” (…) “swear to me that u will not behave like an idiota ever again” and her memories come back after she goes “I can’t promise that (…) if you put yourself into danger, then I will continue to do the same” and has a flashback of his confessions from various seasons. HUGS lol that cg really has him going :I before a : )

everything goes back to normal, she finds a ring on her right hand and they’re wearing like… couple rings..... boi you guys are supposed to be married soon, just wait for those well fin. i skipped a buncha stuff in this “ramble” but yea my first impressions and all

[gdsplay]

I went on a KPop deep dive a month ago and ended up liking Big Bang & having a huge crush on Kang Daesung ♥️. I'm actually the same age as him and I totally missed out on this group for 14 yrs. Out of every group (1st gen to current) BB is just so different and the range they can deliver is unparalleled that I hesitate to call them an idol group.

In that short span of time, not even knowing what burning sun is about, Seungri just rubs me off the wrong way. There is no problem with ambition & tenacity but his is coupled with greed and even desperation. I looked back on their videos and he just seems to have this huge inferiority complex and wants to be seen ALL the time. He hogs the camera. In Go Show when Youngbae was dancing, he was too when it isn't his turn. In Strong Heart, he was imitating TOP when he didn't have to. In Family Outing he made them choose between him & Daesung. He's jealous of GD, but he'd always been jealous of Daesung also bec of his celebrity connections (which Dae doesn't ever exploit). Maybe that's why there is always noticeable distance between them. He's always the one saying "Nyongtory" which I didn't buy into; it struck me as always been for show only. It doesn't feel the same way as ToDae, there had been affection there right from the beginning.

It also struck me how the members treat him & Dae when they are both the maknae line. The rest have always been affectionate with Dae, constantly praising him. They play up his strengths (knowing Dae has his insecurities too & he had struggled so much esp in 2011 that he's never been the same despite his current playfulness). Even GD joked he wants to be Dae in one of those MADE series interviews. Their messages to him are always thankful (even 2 "I love you's" from TOP 😊). But with Seungri, they seem to always have their guard up when he opens his mouth. I like how Taeyang publicly showed his disdain for S in the GD & friends show.

Even w/o the scandal they'd eventually be a group of 4. Going back to old shows, I think this solidified in Go Show. In Weekly Idol, GD said that there's 1 they could do w/o. Same in Infinite Challenge. In Radio Star, they've repeatedly warned him about his acquaintances. They've readied themselves for this possibility long ago. They already saw the writing on the wall even if they don't know the extent of how badly he'd f*** it up.

But it's also good that it's Seungri who is out; I'm sure they could bounce back w/o him. They still have 2 of the vocal powerhouses who could very easily take his parts. His sound is not distinct anyway.

If it is any of the remaining 4, I doubt if they'd come back as a group, subunits maybe? (I even think that if Dae quits, then TOP won't come back even if GD & Tae wants to. This opinion is not being a ToDae fan as I'm not a shipper, I just like their friendship). I'm happy with the 4; with them there's balance: 2 singers, 2 rappers, GDYB & Todae as BFFs.

Even if they don't want to come back in SoKor, there's always Japan & China. I think they'd do well internationally, esp in Southeast Asia (there's too many of us waiting for their return). And if there's one group who could rise from this level of adversity, it's Big Bang. Go OT4! 🎉

One, I’m glad that you didn’t let Seungri turn you away from the whole group. One bad apple shouldn’t spoil the rest!

Two, I felt the same way to be quite honest. I didn’t dislike Seungri, I liked him in some aspects but he didn’t really click with me like the others. His overly cocky, obnoxious yet attention seeking personality turned me off. Wasn’t interested half of the time. His constant loud mouth always interrupting the others to squeeze himself into the picture when the spotlight wasn’t on him every minute got annoying to watch.

I’ve always noticed to a different behavior the members had with Seungri. As you’re right they expressed so much affection and love towards Daesung without it being forced and fan-serviced. Nyongtory was so noticeably forceful while the chemistry between the other four was always out of realism and not planned. I remember somewhere reading that GD said in their Made movie that he sometimes didn’t feel comfortable with what Seungri had planned on stage of their little scripted, Fan-serviced skin ship drabbles. Seungri was the one who thought of all of the ideas and pursued GD into the act. Why? Well it’s obvious, right in front of you. GD is the most popular member and if Seungri continues to do Nyongtory fs services he gets attention from GD and fans. The one and only few things he thrived off of. Seungri was always aware he was the least mentioned member. While the other members never needed forceful fan service their affection was always natural.

Their messages were always more warning and said in a scolded manner for Seungri, like each time was a lesson they needed to comprehend into his pea sized brain. I’m aware that their screen time together many of these red flags flew over our heads, we didn’t worry or take it into consideration like we have now. It was right in the open for all of us to catch on sometime..

I continue to say this is why the members weren’t shocked or surprised with the news. The kind of crime and involvement? Absolutely, they most likely didn’t assume he’d screw up so horribly the whole country would hate his guts and shun away but enough to have him leave and get the boot out of the group. It’s seems they’ve always taken into consideration he’d leave on his own sometime.

For the sake of BigBang they seem like they’ll do just fine continuing on without him. They’ve made it this far, I’d be pretty surprising if they didn’t. I’m not sure if you are aware or this but the four members renewed their contracts with their company Yge last March. That April of 2020 they were schedule for a big music festival Coachella. The pandemic ruined that moment. They’ll be back soon enough. GD , TOP and Taeyang have given hints. No one else will be leaving. The charts, fandom, South Korea and more are missing their existence.

Lastly, If a newer vip like you can sense and see the discomfort and untrustworthy vibes from him than so can many other fans; new or old just by going back and noticing behaviors and phrases from old variety or concerts.

[goblinconceivable]

braindump: betty/daniel

I’ve been living with them for a while, notes taken, a few stories significantly started but there’s a gelling issue, which I’m hoping is at least partially down to a lack of proper braindumping.  So, in no particular order and certainly not comprehensive:

Frankly I also got too hooked on the last 2 eps, which is likely where I’m blocked.  It’s an abrupt emotional twist for them (esp Daniel), and in trying to make sense of that I’m losing focus on the 4 previous years.

- I’m a little bit obsessed in the scene where Betty tries to convince Matt she’s fearless by pointing out her bang-less-ness.  And then runs into Daniel, who is at that moment half brain-washed, but yet when she asks about her fearless quotient his response is immediate and natural and entirely lacking in irony: “no bangs.”  It’s a tiny little moment that shows how well he not only knows her, but understands her.  Without judgment, without fanfare.  Were I to have a husband, this is the sort of response that would confirm I’d married the absolute perfect guy for me.

- They’re too close for mirroring to be an important indicator, but there are two scenes that stand out in this vein: the first is when Betty thinks he may have pushed Christina down the stares and steals the video.  She’s backing out the door, and he follows, matching her step for step.  I love the direction choices because from her perspective there’s a sense of menace, Daniel as potential villain is stalking her.  But from his guileless perspective he’s talking to her and if she’s moving, so is he.  The second is from the penultimate, talking about Trista, where Betty’s rolling back and forth and he moves with her, rather than simply turning his head.  It signals his full engagement in the conversation, seeking her attention, and is why the scene plays as flirting rather than their normal banter.

- That bulletpoint was getting a bit long, so second point on the flirting is that it plays against Betty shutting down the conversation “none of my business,” leading to the fight over involvement in each other’s personal lives, leading to the revelation that they know each other at that deep personal level so very, very well.  Which was a very clumsy leadup to Daniel’s revelation during Hilda’s wedding speech, that could have been handled so much more deftly but those last two eps were quite rushed, I don’t know when they found out about the shortened season but it feels like they’d planned for more space and had to jab in exposition.

- Becaaaaause: they narratively broke his ‘aha’ moment onto “know you better than you do” while the strength of the message is really in the “do anything to protect them.”  Which is, I believe, where they cut to his softened expression.  Not coincidentally, this is precisely what a lot of fan-readings of the characters focus on: Daniel will do anything to protect Betty.  Bobby might have said he’d throw himself under a bus for Hilda, but Daniel HAS done that for Betty- in fact literally doing so would probably have been easier than publicly shouldering the blame for the Tornado cover and giving away the profits.  Due to the fact that he had time to consider the consequences and did it anyway.

- Which is tidy segue into an admission that I’m flying mostly blind on the Molly arc because I basically skipped all her scenes, but it’s my understanding that Daniel doing this was a pivotal moment for them.  Ie, she was impressed that he did this thing.  I mean, I really appreciate that he spent the whole press conference scene looking for Betty, so the show in no way undercut their relationship.  But then they very clearly built the Molly relationship on the foundation of not only the man Daniel had become due to Betty, but choices he was making in large measure for Betty: it’s not that he saw Betty beaten down and resolved the situation: he was upset but lost, she yelled at him, and THEN he resolved the situation by taking the bullet.  Did I break grammar by ending up with two colon’d clauses in the same sentence?  It’s a braindump, ain’t gotta be pretty.  XP

- Quick sidebar that the same thing happens with Alexis.  She was expecting to come back to one brother, but then listens in on his pep talk with Betty and finds she’s returned to a different brother.  This may be where I got the “an assistant” phrasing, if so, my bad.  But basically, she was impressed with Daniel’s actions, not understanding that it was Betty specifically inspiring his actions.

- Follow that a step further and did Molly ever acknowledge how important Betty is to him?  Legit question.  I think her line here was about him doing it “for an assistant” (?) rather than even “his assistant,” establishing Betty as a non-entity for her.  (Quoting a summary but I think I’m in the ballpark.)  And I’m sure I’d have read about it somewhere if she brought Betty up during their discussion on who he’d date when she was dead.

- Just one last note on Molly, (okay it’s a multi-part though it veers off her as a character) but a possibly incorrect beef is that I hate the Daniel/Molly relationship because there’s no interesting or even real conflict?  It’s perfect?  I’m supposed to think this is magical “true love”?  Molly has apparently been engaged for years to a man she doesn’t really love (and um... that’s lazy not strong), and helps inspire a vengeance filled betrayal by her ex because she’s so awesome everyone loves her?  But she comes out squeaky clean because any emotional cheating on her part is balanced and thus “justified” by Connor falling for Wilhemina.  And then the only “conflict” is that she’s dying, and is perfect throughout it?  That’s...  weak.

-That poem thing WOULD have been an interesting point of conflict but it was resolved by Betty’s intervention, rather than within the relationship.  Which actually is an incredibly interesting beat.  The problem with that being it’s so entirely consistent with the role Betty plays in Daniel’s life that it’s treated as just another beat, as if it doesn’t MATTER that a fundamental moment of intimacy and growth of vulnerability in Daniel’s very important romantic relationship is a door opened by a third party.  There’s a strong argument to be made for something but I broke off to write the next point and now can’t remember what that strong argument is.  I might remember later.  It may have had something to do with Molly being a stepping stone in Daniel’s arc, but the cult-thing was so long and dominating that it didn’t work, it tied him too tightly for too long and coinciding with a loosening of his relationship with Betty there was flailing.

- Quick one: Daniel’s fast-forwarded and time-bounded relationship with Molly is the analog to Betty’s time-limited relationship with Henry.  Which is a discussion I would like Daniel and Betty to have.  Esp. noting that Betty and Henry had issues they worked through together (ice cream foreplay being one.)

- Player!  So going back to a happy place, when Betty’s on the phone trying to fix the apartment situation and the camera pans onto Daniel just leaning against the doorway: this may be a legitimate little moment of “squee!”  There’s so much denial in his laid back attitude at Player, but I still love watching how the informality of the environment reflects in the informality with Betty.  He gives her free reign, and there’s many answers to “why,” and I (almost) don’t want to go into them because I totally adore how this Daniel is basically a College!Daniel only he’s latched onto Betty, who, meanwhile, is just being Betty.  OMG how different his life would have been if he’d met Betty in college...

- Okay I actually don’t feel like going into whys, it’s just an arc to enjoy.  With a small mention of how he TOTALLY was playing with the MODE book and handed it to Betty knowing she’d understand and use it to get them back in.  Such a crazy subtle manipulation, to the point where I’m not sure it wasn’t almost entirely subconscious on Daniel’s part.

- The YETI recommendation letter.  What I love is that this is another time when Daniel fvcks up, but fixes it, and more importantly displays competence and ingenuity alongside authentic caring and effort.  Here’s the thing: YETI wanted Betty, even if it was just a quota thing (which it wasn’t entirely, at least one of the board was generally enthused.)  So all that was necessary was to have them re-label her as from Player.  Daniel knew this and did this.  And told Betty that.  BUUUUT that point was purposefully (by script and character) overshadowed by the gesture of the lengthy rec letter he put significant time into.  Whose real audience was... wait for it...  Betty.  He even did a second draft!  Which is more time and effort and a cleaner product.

-  Also flaking on her practice run.  I also enjoy how he (finally...) bounced back into the office clearly having forgotten her schedule, but having mentally shifted from Molly-space into Betty-space.  He’s enthused, he’s engaged, he’s sort of bantering and I’d like to see where that scene would have gone if she hadn’t immediately gotten the acceptance call.

- So there’s this moment somewhat early on, pretty sure when Betty’s taking the writing class, and wants Daniel to give her feedback.  And he’s all “why?,” coming from his “I don’t actually know what I’m doing” place.  She responds that he’s her friend and wants to know what he thinks.  And he does a little double-take at that word.  Because until that point Daniel totally sees Betty as HIS Friend, and they’ve referred to each other as friends, with a little “f,” and he believes that.  But it wasn’t until this moment that he even considered that HE might be HER Friend.  Presumably because he doesn’t believe he has anything to offer her, beyond the power he holds as EIC and her boss - ie, “here run this show” and other such responsibilities.

- Which is a recurring theme.  Pronounced on relationship stuff especially.  When she asks him for input on the Henry vs Gio situation, when she’s trying to date the playwright.  His response is always “I’m in no position to offer relationship advice/judgment on relationships.”  He sorta dodges the first and is permissive on the second.  I don’t know where to go with that so I’ll leave it (for now).

- When  he was supposed to be in Rio, Betty wasn’t even at MODE, she was working for the “enemy,” and he was sending her regular postcards?  First, they’d have been postmarked in New York and presumably with local stamps, so I’m not 100% on Betty not cottoning on.  But it’s super cute that he was thinking of her when he was incommunicado with literally everyone else.  Did he want her to figure it out (subconsciously)?  It’s an act of reaching out, but also of convincing: he’s created a fictional narrative of being in Rio, fed and embellished by the media and swallowed by coworkers, but it’s through Betty that he’s establishing the fiction in a definitive way.  He wants HER to believe it, because if SHE believes he’s there and having a good time, then he can believe it too, with a small piece of his imagination.

- Same convincing as in Player.  BTW, how did all those messages on her phone work?  He was 99% totally hiding the situation from her.  a) why wouldn’t he just call her from his phone, as he always did in the past?  b) he was creating another fictional space.  Where her “number” was literally on a post-it on his temporary assistant’s monitor.  It’s all play: “call Betty” happens many times, and every one is the act of doing it while knowing that he’s not really doing it.  c) Betty does not point out that he should have been confused he never heard back, or more to the point, that he never heard her voicemail message.  d) he was in a state of limbo waiting for her to come back, nothing is real until she does.  At which point there’s lovely dramatic tension since he both wants her to fix it and get them out of there, and wants to draw her into this new reality and thus make it feel viable.

- 100th Anniversary edition.  I love the idea that he’s hep on her writing his bio because he needs her name, at least, to be next to his.  His identity as EIC is predicated on her being his partner, and needs that shown, even if it’s functionally an “in joke” because it’s not like she can be featured.  In musing over his thoughts while flipping through the book right before deciding to quit, I usually come back to a realization of the transience of the role, but I want it to be a gutpunch of how he assumed, without being aware, that Betty would be next to him in picture, and that’s what they were heading for.

- I’ve actually got through most of my notes, so just a couple more.  Daniel is super impressionable.  He did what Becks told him to in the pilot.  He did what Natalie told him in the cult-situation.  Both against his better judgment - his look after Betty when he kicked her out for being “drama he didn’t need” - that’s the same look when he told her to clock out and was dragged off by the not-16-year-old.  I’m too tired to go check the pilot, but assuming similar look there.  He does what he’s told by anyone telling him to do something, but he WANTS to be rescued from the bad influences, who are so often so forceful.

- Final scene: okay so it turns out quick a lot of my thoughts are trying to understand Daniel.  His growth is blatant and deep.  So a second round will be more Betty-focused.  ‘Cuz I identify strongly with her and don’t have a lot of surface questions about her motivations, but I’m LOST on side of the romantic coin.  And plus she deserves a close look regarding how she grows during the series.

- I watched at least part of the reunion and very much like how AF answered the question of the final scene versus what EM says.  Because I think they each, as actors, see it from the perspective of their characters, which means it was played authentically and grants insight.  AF basically says that she saw it as Daniel coming to say thank you, and how it came down to Betty teaching him that he was good enough.  Which came across a little funny because her phrasing implied they’d never talk or see each other again or something and that’s an alarming finality.  But also implies that Betty really did see moving to London as a significant parting of ways, something that started as soon as she became an editor and their relationship changed.  Probably before.

- She then challenged EM as to why Daniel didn’t say goodbye (as if she didn’t know and hadn’t thought about it?  I’m guessing this was panel performance: asking the question “in character” and throwing the question to the other relevant actor.)  But anyway, EM’s answer was “Because things were just starting.”  Which is blatantly a shippy answer, and he even explains Daniel’s “revelation” as when he “really saw Betty for the first time through and through.”

- At some point in these things you’re like: oh but I thought of something else, and only stop when your brain falls asleep.

- I thought of something else.  And then I forgot it.  My brain is failing!  But not yet failed.

- After Betty gets her braces off there’s this scene near the end, at the shoot.  Daniel sees her and crosses quite purposefully to talk with her.  He wants to banter and share this exciting moment with her.  And the scene goes a little strange when Betty kinda goes “yeah, going now bye.”  I expected more eye contact, a big smile, more conversation.  That’s Betty.  That’s them.  But instead it’s a little awkward so Something Is Happening Here.  Is she self-conscious?  Did she see and hear something in Daniel’s look and comment right after she was detached from the bra and isn’t at this moment comfortable with him?  Is this all fallout from her dream in which she and Daniel slept together/he thought she was a bad person/rejected her only they chose not to explicate this/cut a useful scene/thought I’d get that right away but I’m obtuse?  I don’t think it’s the last one because while I can be horribly obtuse, I don’t think it was coded.  But that’s what the obtuse would say.

- At any rate they don’t pick up on it again, next scene (next ep) they’re back to normal.

- But Daniel does immediately chase after Amanda and let go of her.  Which is payoff for his convo with Betty earlier where she sort of disdainfully asks if he WANTS a more serious relationship with Amanda.  I did sort of wonder if he actually does, but Betty’s judgmentalness is what convinces him he doesn’t.  Usually I’d say Betty understands him so well she knows he doesn’t, but they’re not as close at this point, Betty is living her own life much more, so I dunno.

- But I don’t actually think Daniel was falling for Amanda, or that the show wanted us to think that was ultimately a viable path.  Because of that moment when he’s in a car, calls Amanda, says “I really need to see  you” and she turns him down.  It parallels his text to Betty when Molly died.  One text and Betty came over.  This was an actual distressed voice convo and Amanda doesn’t care enough about him to be there, which is really great development for Amanda even though we don’t see her!  She previously went after Matt when he was in jail, she’s interested in Tyler here, she’s not totally pining for Daniel!

- Daniel of course was using Amanda and their earned if mild emotional intimacy as a crutch, trying to fill the space Betty left.  Also note when Amanda turned him down for sex and he stayed to “hang out,” - this is not supposed to be an analysis of Amanda but I wanna note I like that moment because it felt like she was pleased to think she wasn’t just sex to him, while still being over him romantically. Because she does care about him.

- Or for pete’s...  I have this bad habit of writing notes which I later look at and am like... “huh?”  This is a fic idea, from Daniel’s POV: “Betty had moulded him, often by sheer force of her iron will, into being a man who almost deserved Molly.  And he'd turned right around and become a man who would never deserve Betty.”  And I DON’T REMEMBER WHAT THE SECOND HALF MEANS.  Specifically.

- Wedding dancing.  Happens twice.  Hilda’s wedding, we know what that is.  But at Daniel’s wedding.  I like that he wasn’t 100% Molly focused, ‘cuz, shipper.  And I know why the show had Matt cut in, because gotta keep things moving.  But isn’t it a thing that you don’t cut in on the groom/bride?  It’s their day.  Daniel just sort of nonverbally asks Betty if it’s okay (to leave her with Matt), but can’t help a) thinking he was a bit put out and b) want Molly to see his expression looking at Betty and have some sort of “aha” moment where she - do Molly and Betty have any scenes together?  I don’t remember seeing any and I think I did skim through all the eps, but I need to do that again.

- Ooh, one of the things I forgot en route!  I like that Betty has revolving love interests, because that’s textual argument for Betty never having feelings (romantic) for Daniel.  Which is super, super important in this iteration of the story.  There’s a couple moments - pilot and the first bridge scene - where she arguably has a momentary crush, which quickly settles into a developing platonic relationship.  

- Jump back to Daniel finally seeing Betty as a true equal = romantic feelings.  It’s a thing.  Look my brain is deteriorting and wording is hard!  So there’s two sided imbalance throughout.  Daniel always saw Betty with this veneer of youth, and a great deal of his use for her is helping her “grow into the woman she’ll be.”  And that’s the roadblock in him seeing her as a romantic possibility.  Which was initially quite awesome because he was sleeping with people younger than her, even the “she’s actually 20″ girl was younger than Betty.  And yet always saw her as in many ways more mature and competent than her.  And double-yet he still saw how much further she could, and would, grow.  His belief in her knows no bounds.

- Meanwhile Betty sees him as...  someone who’s also becoming.  Who has great potential.  Bullying him into it if necessary.  And because he’s guided by her, she can’t crush on him, he’s like her pet.  Were she to have a crush, much less fall for him, it would have been horrifying.  She needs to have a moment when she sees him as a true equal, someone who - look, everyone is always still growing so it’s not like he needs to be fully formed, and it’s a little murkier what the moment would look like when she finally sees Daniel “for the first time.”

- ‘cuz as noted, Betty has been there for pretty much every important moment of growth and crossroads in every facet of Daniel’s life.  Whereas Betty consistently had many things and relationships in her life Daniel was not involved in.  She’s always been way more self-reliant (not the word I wanted, is there one that starts with c?)  It’s why they did sort of need to peel away through a chunk of S4, because Daniel needed to learn to cope without Betty propping him up, because it’s like a Miranda-thing:

- “I don’t need Gary.  But I want him.”

- Daniel has to be able to be find without Betty before Betty can see him as a viable romantic partner.  She has to see something she never has before.  Daniel saw that the seedling he’d been protecting was not only strong enough to survive on its own had grown up and bloomed (process begun early in the season when he was being overprotective and she shut that down).  For Betty...  I guess Daniel...  ...  .....  it didn’t happen in the show.  As EM noted, for Daniel, the ending was the beginning.  Because his moment isn’t leaving MODE, that’s just the corresponding moment to Betty shaking him off.  His moment is further down the road when he puts into practice everything he’s learned and ...  something answered in fanfic because it’s spec and I’m tuckered.

[destinyc1020]

It’s so funny cause you would think have learned that the way they go about things to try and keep what’s going on between them private the more obvious they make it. Like liking each other’s family and friends posts but not each other’s like come on guys. And z posting for every other co star but Tom. If you want us to believe he is just a friend and co star z maybe treat him like you treat the others. That is what has always made them so obvious how over the top they go to try and hide it.

Thank you lol. 😆 You would THINK they would realize that they're actually making things MORE obvious lol.

In an effort to hide whatever it is they are to each other right now, she's actually making it more obvious by not just treating Tom like a normal friend lol. 😅 And him vice versa. Although, I feel like he'd be more likely to just treat her like normal if she was okay with that.

Like I said before, if they're happy, then I'm happy lol. 😅 But looking at this from an outsider's pov, I just don't see how you can have a healthy, long-term, sustainable relationship with someone when you handle it in this manner, for a long time. 🤦🏾‍♀️ In the beginning, I understand, but past the 6 month mark, it's time to give up the charade (esp if LDR) if you want a chance at long-term survival. Jmho.

Silly me, I thought that they had learned from their past mistakes lol. 😆 🤣 Now it's making me wonder if maybe their breakup wasn't so much due to privacy disagreements, but more so due to smthg else. 👀

I also feel like maybe Tom is okay with being private, but just not being FRIEND-ZONED publicly, or seeing her do cringey DC videos. 🙄

So, I mean, if they're both just not talking about it, and aren't denying anything to the media, or trying to discredit relationship rumors through tweets, then maybe he's okay with it!? 🤷🏾‍♀️

I mean, Tom did seem to try to go through great lengths to hide Nadia (unsuccessfully, I might add lol) during the Quarantine on several occasions lol. 😏

Sooo... even he's not really trying to out himself freely.

Anyway, they've only been in Atlanta together since early Nov, so it's only technically been 2... nearly 3 months. Sooo....🤷🏾‍♀️ I'll give them a pass.... for NOW lol. 😄

But if I keep seeing the same thing past 6 months (if smthg is actually going on), then I'll be like.... hmm.... idk if this can last.

[yaz-the-spaz]

Hi ! I really want to know about the bullying happened to Liam? I’ve been listening to Zayn’s MOM and some lyric (know what you’ve been through etc) remind me of this.... I just thought it would really help me understand Ziam’s relationship better? Also if you know anything about Zayn’s early life I would die to know! Thanks! Hope it’s not too much to ask(btw I watched the videos that Liam’s high school girlfriend Shannon posted in 2010, he was so cute, that kind of triggered me to know more too

hey nonnie, i don’t really have much concrete information on this unfortunately other than what little liam’s shared himself. i’m not sure how much of that you’ve seen though so this may or may not be new info for you at all but i guess i’ll just sum up what i can remember of what he’s said which is pretty much just general stuff: 

he was bullied in school as a teen (not sure about before his teen years but it also wouldn’t surprise me) and didn’t have really have many close friends...there’s possibly also a point where he didn’t have any just based on what’s known about his 16th birthday which is that literally not a single person showed up after he invited (i think??) his whole class or at least a good portion of it and his family went all out with getting a big fancy cake and lots of decorations and i think even rented out a little venue space or something like that to host the party and it just ended up being the 5 of them...i can’t seem to find it at the moment but there’s a pic of him somewhere where he’s literally just sitting there at the table all by himself with this big cake (that was obviously meant for way more than 5 people) and it’s absolutely heart-breaking. idk if you’ve seen any of the backstory of sophiam but supposedly there was a girl in high school that liam really liked and he tried a few times to ask her out and every time she turned him down. sophia is rumored to be that girl (though how true that is, or how much it was just a convenient way to sell the narrative of them as some sort of super messed-up version of high school sweethearts i ofc have no real idea). but anyway that, combined with kind of off-hand comments i feel like i remember him making along the lines of being sort of unlucky in love growing up, i think also says a lot of how he was treated and perceived in school. there’s also the fact that at one point the bullying got so bad his dad enrolled him in boxing as a way to help boost his self-esteem and help him feel more confident about defending and sticking up for himself. and after he went on txf in 2008 things only got worse cause, despite whatever brief fame/notoriety and positive-ish attention he might have gotten shortly following his run on the show, after about a year or so of things with his music career not really progressing (and people around town recognizing him and noticing that he hadn’t “done” anything else or really “gone anywhere” in his career) he started getting publicly ridiculed. random people would literally yell cruel stuff at him in the street or in fast food restaurants about him basically being a has-been and stuff like that...

as for zayn i don’t really know much of his early life either other than little bit i’ve shared that i recall seeing. i know it was circulated that he was out as bi as young as 15/16 and that ppl from his school and from the bradford area (esp the areas close to his neighborhood) knew. he was also bullied in his early years (more around elementary school/primary school age) b/c his school at the time was primarily full of white and kids apparently they would literally call him “funny-looking” and stuff like that and make fun of him for being brown and muslim, but he eventually switched schools and things got a lot better. that’s about all i know for him though

[cancerbiophd]

A technician in my group has a habit of making me look stupid by publicly telling me things she thinks I do wrong (mostly things she explicitly taught me so or does herself) while having said nothing earlier when she saw me doing it in private. I have a feeling she does it because I'm starting to be really appreciated by our PI and she thinks I'm pushing her out of the spotlight but still it really sucks... :(

Ohhh oh yIKES your technician is a horrible person for doing this to you. Totally unfair and uncalled for! I’m sorry to hear that tech is creating a toxic work environment for you :\ You definitely don’t deserve to be treated like this!

I think you could go about trying to make this right a few ways:

Speak up next time she publicly bullies you. Respond with something like, “I was not aware I was doing this technique/protocol wrong as this is how you taught me to do it. Thank you for bringing that to our attention. I will make a note of that change in the SOP [Standard Operating Procedure aka a lab’s main protocol for an experiment] and I will try to do/not do that from now on.” And then definitely record that change down in the protocol (whether it’s a shared lab protocol or something you have written down on your own). This way, if she tries to go back on her word again, you have written proof (and witnesses!) of what she wanted changed. 

If you want to take this one step further, start documenting all the experimental steps she teaches you, type and print it out, ask her “Hey is this what you want me to do?” and if she approves, have her sign it. And if she tries to pull that BS during lab meeting ever again, wham bam SLAM that signed SOP on the table and be like “that’s not what you signed off on. Are you suggesting we make some changes?”. (Is this me being a bit sassy? Maybe. But ain’t no dickhead gonna make any of my followers feel inferior without their consent, so we fighting fire with a bucket of ice cold water hunny!!)

Anyway, having robust and reproducible results in the whole goal of research, right! And you can’t be reproducible if the SOP keeps changing for no reason. So ya, if anyone is questioning why you’re doing this (signing SOPs and whatnot), just say it’s to keep your experiments reproducible as per the ethics of scientific research. Who’s gonna argue against that?

Talk to the technician privately, and ask her that for the safety of yourself and the entire lab, and for the integrity of the experiments, to please tell you when and what you’re doing wrong if she sees it. Be sure to add something like: “If you see what I’m doing is wrong and you say nothing to stop me, you are partially responsible for any negative outcomes, especially if I’m doing something unsafe.” Maybe that’ll jolt her to clean up her act. 

If talking to the tech goes nowhere, the next step is to talk privately to your PI. As the ultimate authority figure in the lab, they’ll hopefully be able to put an end to this. I would frame your conversation not so much as “your tech is being mean!” but “hey this isn’t good for anyone involved, including you!”. So something like this: “I’ve noticed __(tech’s name)__ has seen me do things incorrectly but did not stop me while I was doing it, only bringing it up after the fact during lab meetings. I’ve since asked her to tell me immediately so I don’t jeopardize my safety, or the safety of others, or the integrity of experiments, but she refused. I don’t want to work in an unsafe environment, nor do I want other members of the lab to either, and I also don’t want to waste thousands of dollars of your money on failed and/or non-reproducible experiments. Would you be able to talk to __(tech’s name)__ and explain that I would like her to catch my mistakes while they’re still fixable?” Something like that.

And to help support your claims, you can consider having a written record of your situation. Write down 1) all the incidences where the tech has made you feel uncomfortable, including dates and exactly what she said (if you remember); and 2) what was said during the above convo with the tech, because if she refuses to tell you not to do something when she spots it, she’s basically agreeing to not care about any negative outcomes–something I’m sure the PI (and your research institution) would not be happy about (esp if it jeopardizes safety and hard-earned grant money). And then sign and date that puppy, because now it’s a legal thing that you can also take to HR if need be. 

Some may think this is all overkill, but I think it’s an appropriate and professional response to address harassment in the workplace (and yes, she is harassing you by unjustly making you feel uncomfortable!), as well as a possible breach in scientific ethics (ie. not sticking to an agreed-upon SOP that may jeopardize reproducibility). You deserve a safe and productive work environment. 

I hope that tech stops being a chum bucket of curdled milk soon! Lemme know if there’s anything else I can help with. My private chat is always open too!

[jcmorgenstern]

@superohclair oh god okay please know these are all just incoherent ramblings so like, idk, please feel free to add on or ignore me if im just wildly off base but this is a bad summary of what ive been thinking about and also my first titans/batman meta?? (also, hi!)

okay so for the disclaimer round: I am not an actual cultural studies major, nor do I have an extensive background in looking at the police/military industrial complex in media. also my comics knowledge is pretty shaky and im a big noob(I recently got into titans, and before that was pretty ignorant of the dceu besides batman) so I’ll kind of focus in on the show and stuff im more familiar with and apologize in advance?. basically im just a semi-educated idiot with Opinions, anyone with more knowledge/expertise please jump in! this is literally just the bullshit I spat out incoherently off the top of my head. did i mention im a comics noob? because im a comics noob.

so on a general level, I think we can all agree that batman as a cultural force is somewhat on the conservative side, if not simply due to its age and commercial positioning in American culture. there are a lot of challenges and nuances to that and it’s definitely expanding and changing as DC tries to position itself in the way that will...make the most money, but all you have to do is take a gander through the different iterations of the stories in the comics and it’ll smack you in the fucking face. like compare the first iteration of Jason keeping kids out of drugs to the titans version and you’ve got to at least chuckle. at the end of the day, this is a story about a (white male) billionaire who fights crime.

to be fair, I’d argue the romanticization of the police isn’t as aggressive as it could be—they are most often presented as corrupt and incompetent. However, considering the main cop characters depicted like Jim Gordon, the guys in Gotham (it’s been a while since I saw it, sorry) are often the romanticized “good few” (and often or almost always white cis/het men), that’s on pretty shaky ground. I don’t have the background in the comics strong enough to make specific arguments, so I’ll cede the point to someone who does and disagrees, but having recently watched a show that deals excellently with police incompetence, racism, and brutality (7 Seconds on Netflix), I feel at the very least something is deeply missing. like, analysis of race wrt police brutality in any aspect at all whatsoever.

I think it can be compellingly read that batman does heavily play into the military/police industrial complex due to its takes on violence—just play the Arkham games for more than an hour and you’ll know what I mean. to be a little less vague, even though batman as a franchise valorizes “psychiatric treatment” and “nonviolence,” the entire game seems pretty aware it characterizes treatment as a madhouse and nonviolence as breaking someone’s back or neck magically without killing them because you’re a “good guy.” while it is definitely subversive that the franchise even considers these elements at all, they don’t always do a fantastic job living up to them.

and then when you consider the fetishization of tools of violence both in canon and in the fandom, it gets worse. same with prisons—if anything it dehumanizes people in prisons even more than like, cop shows in general, which is pretty impressive(ly bad). like there’s just no nuance afforded and arkham is generally glamorized. the fact that one of the inmates is a crocodile assassin, I will admit, does not help. im not really sure how to mitigate that when, again, one of the inmates is a crocodile assassin, but I think my point still stands. fuck you, killer croc. (im just kidding unfuck him or whatever)

not to take this on a Jason Todd tangent but I was thinking about it this afternoon and again when thinking about that cop scene again and in many ways he does serve as a challenge to both batman’s ideology as well as the ideology of the franchise in general. his depiction is always a bit of a sticking point and it’s always fascinating to me to see how any given adaptation handles it. like Jason’s “”street”” origin has become inseparable from his characterization as an angry, brash, violent kid, and that in itself reflects a whole host of cultural stereotypes that I might argue occasionally/often dip into racialized tropes (like just imagine if he wasn’t white, ok). red hood (a play on robin hood and the outlaws, as I just realized...today) is in my exposure/experience mostly depicted as a villain, but he challenges batman’s no-kill philosophy both on an ethical and practical level. every time the joker escapes he kills a whole score more of innocent people, let alone the other rogues—is it truly ethical to let him live or avoid killing him for the cost of one life and let others die?

moreover, batman’s ““blind”” faith in the justice system (prisons, publicly-funded asylum prisons, courts) is conveniently elided—the story usually ends when he drops bad guy of the day off at arkham or ties up the bad guys and lets the police come etc etc. part of this is obviously bc car chases are more cinematic than dry court procedurals, but there is an alternate universe where bruce wayne never becomes batman and instead advocates for the arkham warden to be replaced with someone competent and the system overhauled, or in programs encouraging a more diverse and educated police force, or even into social welfare programs. (I am vaguely aware this is sometimes/often part of canon, but I don’t think it’s fair to say it’s the main focus. and again, I get it’s not nearly as cinematic).

overall, I think the most frustrating thing about the batman franchise or at least what I’ve seen or read of it is that while it does attempt to deal with corruption and injustice at all levels of the criminal justice system/government, it does so either by treating it as “just how life is” or having Dick or Jim Gordon or whoever the fuckjust wipe it out by “eliminating the dirty cops,” completely ignoring the non-fantasy ways these problems are dealt with in real life. it just isn’t realistic. instead of putting restrictions on police violence or educating cops on how to use their weapons or putting work into eradicating the culture of racism and prejudice or god basically anything it’s just all cinematized into the “good few” triumphing over the bad...somehow. its always unsatisfying and ultimately feels like lip service to me, personally.

this also dovetails with the very frustrating way mental health/”insanity” or “madness” is dealt with in canon, very typical of mainstream fiction. like for example:“madness is like gravity, all it takes is a little push.” yikes, if by ‘push’ you mean significant life stressors, genetic load, and environemntal influences,  then sure. challenge any dudebro joker fanboy to explain exactly what combination of DSM disorders the joker has to explain his “””insanity””” and see what happens. (these are, in fact, my plans for this Friday evening. im a hit at parties).

anyway I do really want to wax poetic about that cop scene in 1x06 so im gonna do just that! honestly when I first saw that I immediately sat up like I’d sat on a fucking tack, my cultural studies senses were tingling. the whole “fuck batman” ethos of the show had already been interesting to me, esp in s1, when bruce was basically standing in for the baby boomers and dick being our millennial/GenX hero. I do think dick was explicitly intended to appeal to a millennial audience and embody the millennial ethos. By that logic, the tension between dick and Jason immediately struck me as allegorical (Jason constantly commenting on dick being old, outdated, using slang dick doesn’t understand and generally being full of youthful obnoxious fistbumping energy).

Even if subconsciously on the part of the writers, jason’s over-aggressive energy can be read as a commentary on genZ—seen by mainstream millennial/GenX audiences as taking things too far. Like, the cops in 1x06 could have been Nick Zucco’s hired men or idk pretty much anyone, yet they explicitly chose cops and even had Jason explain why he deliberately went after them for being cops so dick (cop) could judge him for it. his rationale? he was beaten up by cops on the street, so he’s returning the favor. he doesn’t have the focused “righteous” rage of batman or dick/nightwing towards valid targets, he just has rage at the world and specifically the system—framed here as unacceptable or fanatical. as if like, dressing up like a bat and punching people at night is, um, totally normal and uncontroversial.

on a slightly wider scope, the show seems to internally struggle with its own progressive ethos—on the one hand, they hire the wildly talented chellah man, but on the other hand they will likely kill him off soon. or they cast anna diop, drawing wrath from the loudly racist underbelly of fandom, but sideline her. perhaps it’s a genuine struggle, perhaps they simply don’t want to alienate the bigots in the fanbase, but the issue of cops stuck out to me when I was watching as an social issue where they explicitly came down on one side over the other. jason’s characterization is, I admit and appreciate, still nuanced, but I’d argue that’s literally just bc he’s a white guy and a fan favorite. cast an actor of color as Jason and see how fast fandom and the writer’s room turns on him.

anyway i don’t really have the place to speak about what an explicitly nonwhite!cop!dick grayson would look like, but I do think it would be a fascinating and exciting place to start in exploring and correcting the kind of vague and nebulous complaints i raise above. (edit: i should have made more clear, i mean in the show, which hasn’t dealt with dick’s heritage afaik). also, there’s something to be said about the cop vs detective thing but I don’t really have the brain juice or expertise to say it? anyway if you got this far i hope it was at least interesting and again pls jump in id love to hear other people’s takes!!

tldr i took two (2) cultural studies classes and have Opinions

[silklaurentharry]

the long awaited “why does this bitch hate harry?” list

DISCLAIMER:

these are all my opinions, this doesnt mean i think hes a bad person-i think he does a lot of good things-this is just a list of bad things, this doesnt mean that i could never start to like him ever again-it just means these are things that dont sit right with me that i think are important and cant be overlooked! (they dont ruin him, and make him an unbearable person or CANCEL him-its just things that i decided i dont like anymore!)

PLEASE DONT MAKE THIS MORE THAN WHAT IT IS! im making this bc ppl want it(ive gotten more asks about this list than i ever have on any piece of my writing ever so...anyway)

also um....i still read harry smut and want him to fuck me but like- hate fucking is the best so can u blame me?

SO. Let’s start with the moment i first started disliking him.

yacht!gate. is there really more to be said???? if yes-basically he went on a fucking yacht with k*nd*ll and jeff and kris and his mom and robin etc. kendall is so privileged and just a not great person in my eyes and even though this was before “tpwk” he was still saying shit like “be nice to nice” and who is the opposite of that? kendall.

then, he cut his hair. smh. THIS IS A JOKE OKAY.

hes besties with people like james corden and ben winston. who use him for his fame(not his fault but hasnt he always said “you can always tell” when ppl are just using u?) and shit(you saw that shitty sitcom, correct?) and james took a ‘cutesy’ little photo of him kissing sean spicers cheek. aka trumps ex press secretary. aka a fucking shithole of a man. dont know about you but if i “treated ppl with kindness” i wouldnt be associated with anyone close to trump.

camille fckn rowe. i mean...lmao. and its 2019 and he’s STILL being seen with her. 

performed at the vsfs. who before this past one has alWAYS been fatphobic and ppl are JUST NOW shocked at the fact they actually came out and said it. lmao. i get it was a big move for his career but if he really cared about morals would he do it even with the past mistreatment of fat or ‘overweight’ models in that show? i wouldnt. but thats just me

now this next one is purely just me and just puts a bad taste in my mouth-u dont have to agree on any, but esp this one. from what i know(i havent been keeping up with him regularly for the past 3-4 years)-he has never said anything about getting back with 1D, when all of the other’s have said they “have to” and “would drop everything” to get back together. and that just doesnt sit right with me-again, just me but...i dont like it!!

he has been surrounding himself with shitty, all around AWFUL people since he left 1D. and idk if thats bc of management telling him to for PR, his own actions that are finally getting out bc hes no longer restrained under modest, or if its just a coincidence. bUT. “tpwk” doesnt really sit well if you publicly hangout with fuckheads that dont do that.

his fans. now if you dont fall under this descriptor im about to give-thats great! love you♡ anyway, his fans are OBSESSED. and i fucking mean obsessed. with gay pride now. which is fucking amazING!!!! BUT. these are the same people who are afraid of their gay friends falling in love with them. who the moment someone points out something that could prove harry to be gay(or at least open) instantly deny it and say there’s no way(medicine lyrics). who go to pride just to go and not to show support to the LGBTQ+ community. heres a quote from rolling stone(article will be linked at the end)  “ On the surface level, pride is being overrun by straight people and large companies who attempt to capitalize on gay culture with limited-edition pride products. A combination of the influx of straightness at Pride, along with the major setbacks the LGBTQ community has experienced in the past two years, has encouraged LGBTQ people and activism groups, like the Reclaim Pride Coalition, to once again make Pride a form of protest, not simply a celebration ” “ The issue isn’t then, “Is it appropriate for allies to attend Pride?” because the answer is unequivocally yes. ” “ The issue becomes “What’s the best way to show support while simultaneously realizing that as a straight and cisgender person, Pride isn’t for you?” ”  if you are an ally-we love you, truly. BUT. when you just go to pride dressed in rainbow and think its all about dancing and shit(sometimes it is!) but never actually stand up and do things for the LGBTQ+ community(i understand not everyone can because of their safety but im talking about people who can and choose not to because they’re comfortable). so again- if you are a true ally and understand when to sit down and be quiet, i love you. if you dont- use this as a time to educate yourself! “... so perhaps you should ask yourself, “Am I an ally the other 11 months of the year?” ” i love you as well!

and finally-i dont think ive ever heard him actually apologize for something....like, have we?? i cant remember a time where i have. if he changes and learns-great. but, in the meantime- i personally think apologies are needed! he keeps his fans in the dark about almost everything(which i think is healthy and good for him) but when it comes to not saying anything about BLM signs/flags and then just posting a picture on instagram (AFTER! fans came for him might i add) it’s something you should not keep in the dark. come out and say something and then once we see you change- yes! a king that learns from mistakes! 

NOW. i want to say i will always love him bc i still think hes a good person. just not the greatest like yall make him out to be. hes ugly sometimes inside(and out...sorry), he hangs out with shitty people that dont line up with things he profits off of(tpwk), and he doesnt need to be up on this pedestal you guys have put him on. imo-he could stand to be knocked down a few pegs! i already expect to get some hate on this, and thats okay-we all have different opinions and see things differently! im here to show my reasons and if youd like-send an ask on how you disagree! i love discussing things! i love you♡(be nice to me)

rolling stone article by ZACHARY ZANE-a good read!

[neonstatic]

Everything wrong with 13RW

Firstly, the premise of the source book is distasteful and it should've never become a full show with 13 episodes of 1 hour each season.

The creators contacting health professionals to get advice on how to handle the themes in the show and ignoring ALL of the advice shows the little care given for “spreading a message” or “starting a conversation” (more like starting a controversy).

Now onto the points in which the show failed to convey a positive message in both season 1 & season 2.

I recommend watching this video for short indications on why the show does more bad than good.

And before anyone says anything, I am mentally ill and I study psychology so jot that down.

SEASON 1

Sensationalism of suicide

As a vehicle for vengeance (thru tapes)

As a tool to gain attention

The tapes are treated as words of truth and justice

If the tapes are ever criticized, it is done by characters featured on the tapes, which serves to delegitimize such opinions since they're the "bad guys" of the story

Act of committing suicide blamed on others (esp bad when the 11 persons’ wrongdoings cannot be equated in most cases)

Most people didn't deserve a tape:

Jessica cut ties with her over a misunderstanding

Zach emptied her encouragement mailbox (and quickly stopped after being called out) and she thought he threw away a personal letter she wrote him (this tape is extremely unwarranted)

Courtney claimed Hannah came onto her because she was afraid to be outed as lesbian but in the end, the photos and rumours affected them both anyway

Ryan published a poem of hers without her consent; disrespectful but not ill-intended

Clay walked away after she insisted for him to leave her alone (this tape is extremely unwarranted)

Sheri knocked down a sign and left Hannah out on the street because she didn’t want to call 911, which “caused” the death of a student (this tape is extremely unwarranted)

Those who deserved a tape (debatable in some cases):

Justin, for making up lies about her and spreading a revealing picture of her

Alex, for cutting ties, objectifying/publicly humiliating and submitting her to harassment in school

Bryce, for spreading a revealing picture of her and raping her

Marcus, for misleading, harassing and humiliating her in public

Tyler, for stalking and spreading pictures of [Courtney and] her

Mr Porter, for his very poor handling of her obvious distress

Hannah's story is no fair representation of real life

Technically, she’s a victim of social bullying (damaging someone's social reputation & lying and spreading rumours) but...

She's esp a victim of circumstances made by the creator - she's a fictional character whose purpose is to be a martyr in her story; in the real world, things would have played out much differently

Hannah tries to reach out once then gives up and justifies this bc the school counsellor didn't come running after her when she stormed out (again assuming ppl are mind readers)

Graphic rape scenes with the potential to trigger viewers - even those who aren’t survivors (replayed numerous times throughout the show as flashbacks)

Graphic and extended suicide scene (goes directly against professionals’ guidelines but screw vulnerable viewers I guess?)

Finality of suicide forgotten by the structure of narration = Hannah’s omnipresent even though she's literally dead, which grossly undermines the consequences of suicide

Adults portrayed as clueless and unable to help (not a good idea to put in teenagers’ head)

SEASON 2

Vague mention of mental illness

Implying anxiety runs in Hannah's maternal side but not diving into it

Sky being diagnosed with bipolar although there was no extensive portrayal of her symptoms (since she wasn’t onscreen for long) and immediately disappearing from the show while she’s the only character going through professional therapy and recovery (smth they would have rly benefited from showing)

Trivializing mental illness for plot use

Clay hallucinating Hannah - acknowledged but not addressed for being a serious psychotic symptom

Minors in sexual situations (too many times!)

Graphic scene of a brutal sexual battery (entirely for shock value, it didn’t have to be shown this way and you can't tell me otherwise)

Conflicting message regarding drug use

Severity of addiction (Justin getting clean then relapsing)

Recreational use (minors doing molly for fun... instead of marijuana which is less risky in comparison)

Trivializing school shooting

Advertisement tool (last episode of S1 heavily hinting at it)

Teased several times throughout the season

Blatant reference to Columbine

Not going through with it - worse move ever…

Irresponsible guide on how to approach an impulsive armed person

From a storytelling POV

Hannah the martyr

Hard to sympathize with when the tapes serve to exact vengeance more than it serves to explain how she felt and why she did what she did, making her manipulative at best

The fact that she was a bully herself in the past

(Plus being “shown” how Hannah was would've been better than being “told” how she was by other characters)

Overall terrible attempt at creating a suicide victim / mentally ill person ppl should sympathize with, the last thing the mentally ill needs is to be related to a character that is so easy to dislike

Clay as a main character

Lost his value since the story's progress doesn't rly depend on him (even tho we're forced to follow him)

Character development: he gets real snappy and no one calls him out? Increasingly unlikable

(Not that he was that likeable by the end of S1… spreading a naked picture of Tyler? #WelcomeToYourTape)

Tyler and his arc

Attempt at explaining the possible cause of school shooting? Failed.

Most school shooters aren’t victims of bullying, in fact many (if not all) are associated with hate groups like white supremacist, misogynists, etc.

Had plenty of reasons to commit suicide over mass shooting (and I don’t mean it in a ‘suicide can be justified’ sense but tbh besides his interest in guns, he’s never depicted as aggressively angry or remotely prone to violence)

Could've brought attention to male depression and male suicide far better than Alex’s story

Technical POV

Very lacking warnings. There should be hotlines at the end of every episode not at the beginning. Self-righteousness and superficial philosophy in both dialogue and narration show the shallowness and pretentiousness of the directors.

The show is presented as an objective representation instead of a media to consume and dissect and judge for oneself = in other words, the morale is laid out for you. Putting up content so shocking most of your target audience cannot watch for fear of being triggered is irresponsible. Trigger warnings don't solve that. Shooting implicit scenes and not explicit scenes is what protects viewers and still conveys the message.

Message

The show is depressing; there's barely any positive outcome. Every character is helpless to their situation. It would benefit greatly of some comic relief.

“We should be careful what we say to people.” Only when it comes to Hannah, everyone else we can be harsh to, apparently. “We should care more for people.” (True, but you can’t love depression away.) “We have power over nothing.” "We can't change anything.” “Adults don't understand us.” “We can't confide to anyone.” “We can't trust anyone.”

Seriously it's a fkg downer. This show highlights all the problems but gives no solution. You expect your audience of teenagers to figure it out for themselves? You expect your audience of teenagers to go out of their way to "start a conversation" with their parents over some sensationalist teen drama show? You must be kidding me. (Do you know how a conversation about 13RW goes? “I loved the show!” “I didn’t.” The end.)

Final note

The directors should have inserted a segment after each episode (or every couple) with the actors themselves discussing what happened to/between the characters and how it could have been handled better. If you want to act like your show is a PSA, treat it as such.

[guccifloralsuits]

Gryles obviously

fuck yes, I love them sm, that gryles special snatched every single one of my wigs I am so bald. 2017 is truly the year of gryles

who is more likely to hurt the other? Harry’s more likely to hurt Nick - he’ll go out to the club with Nick, and sometimes he’s only got eyes for him, and those nights are the best, but sometimes he’ll be flirting by the back of the bar with a leggy model instead and that hurts Nick a lot but he just grits his teeth and down another drink. who is emotionally stronger? Ah…I don’t know. Nick, maybe? Because he’s just got this easy way about him, like he’s at peace with his life, and he’s got his shit figured out. Even if he doesn’t like what he’s feeling, he acknowledges and accepts it. Harry tries not to feel the things he doesn’t want towho is physically stronger? Harry, although it’s close who is more likely to break a bone? Honestly I see them drunkenly trying to pull some stupid shit together which ends up with matching broken arms. Everyone notices when it happens but Nick & Harry are suspiciously tight lipped about what went down. (they made a pact to each other about never mentioning it, ever, and neither is gunna be the one to break it) who knows best what to say to upset the other? I…don’t really see them consciously learning the ways to make the other mad. They have a really healthy relationship - otherwise they wouldn’t have stayed such good friends for so long - and I think when they upset each other, it’s only ever accidental. Well, Nick knows Harry hates when he publicly brings up past relationships, but that’s within the realm of their work and not their personal relationship, which they keep (rightfully) very separate. who is most likely to apologise first after an argument? Harry. He’ll have done something that pissed Nick off, but he’s not sure what, so he shows up at Nick’s with N’s favorite takeout and a movie and an apology in his eyes and Nick can’t stay mad. who treats who’s wounds more often? Harry was always there for Nick’s relationship dramas, and always the person to help him get over his latest breakups, and gain back that post-relationship confidence. who is in constant need of comfort? Nick constantly comforts Harry, especially when it came to band drama, because he was an outside perspective who harry knew would a l w a y s be on his side, through thick and thin, through all the ups and downs. who’s most likely to walk out on the other? Nick. Because sometimes harry makes him feel all types of ways, and Nick just…needs some time away. Harry’s such an all encompassing presence and Nick is already in too deep and occasionally it’s all too much. He needs some time to regain his head. He always comes back, in the end. who will propose? Harry, because Nick is afraid of saddling down harry (which harry assures him is completely insane. Harry wants Nick, and no one else). It’ll be during a star-gazing date, and they’ll have driven to an empty meadow, sitting on the hood of their car and making up stories for the constillations (because the old ones are boring). Nick is telling Harry about how the Big Dipper was really frizz-beed into the sky by the drunken kitchen help after-hours, as a giant fuck you to their ass-hole boss, and harry can’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it. He looks over at Nick who’s smiling wide, content, with his crinkled eyes and laugh lines and it dawns on him suddenly: he wants to marry this man. He doesn’t even have a ring, so he slips one off his finger, and gets down on one knee. They’ll go out and get a real one, eventually, but for now, this will have to do. Nick thinks he’s having a piss, at first. It takes a while to convince him he’s not. He says yes, of course, and some passionate car sex ensues. Wow I need to go write a fic about this….who has the most difficult parents? neither, their parents knew their relationship was a long time coming and are surprised they didn’t get together sooner. who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? They both do, all the time, because their hands fit so well so why not fit them together? It’s super cliche to say their hands fit like puzzle pieces but their hands fit together like puzzle pieceswho comes up for the other all the time? Nick goes to every Harry show he has the chance to see and Harry comes into Radio One every free day he has in London. They text every day, sometimes just a joke and reaction gif or two, sometimes long winded conversations. who hogs the blankets? Harry is such a blanket hog, but they go out and buy like 12 extra blankets so its not too much of a problem. Harry also likes to use Nick as his personal blanket and Nick is more than okay with that.who gets more sad? Harry, sometimes randomly. He’ll just, go from having a good time to a mood drop in seconds, but Nick is great at picking up when Harry’s no longer having fun and knows how to comfort him. It only happens when in large crowds, when everyone is rambunctious and loud and talking over each other and he feels..out of place? Anyways, Nick gets it. who is better at cheering the other up? They are both great at it. They’re both the type to show up unannounced at the other’s house with wine and chocolate or a plan to head on an adventure, because they can tell the other is down. who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes? Harry to Nick - did you see the way he kind of did in in the gryles special when nick cracks a joke at that axe throwing place I LIVE who is more streetwise? Nick because Harry can’t really go out without getting recognized, so. He stays inside most the time, or in private who is more wise? They are both wise as hell and I think Nick doesn’t show it as much bc (esp on the radio) it’s not really his job, but. I bet gryles get like, deep as hell sometimes - and not the in a Fake Deep way, either. who’s the shyest? Harry, Nick’s job is literally to be extroverted. I love how easily Nick accepts harry’s shyness though. Ugh. I’m so deep in my gryles feelings after writing this someone help me. who boasts about the other more? Nick about Harry because he knows harry (secretly) loves it. Harry, on the other hand, rarely likes speaking about those that he holds close. It’s like he wants to keep them all for himself. who sits on who’s lap? Harry on Nicks lap, facing him with his legs straddled over nicks hips, having to tilt slightly upwards to meet nick’s eyes. 

Fuck, I need to go read some fan fiction, immediately. I am now balls deep in gryles feelings holy shit I am not okay. I am actually crying. thanks 4 this ily 

Send me ships and I’ll answer these questions about them wooo

[the-hero-of-queens-blog]

Too Far - A Peter Parker One-Shot

hey guys! since everyone reacted so well to my first one-shot (which you can read here), I decided to write another one! I got inspired after reading this by itsallavenger, it’s really awesome so check it out! I also wrote this because I know have 215 followers! Thanks everyone for the follows, it means so much to me! Okay, enjoy the fic! 

Characters: Peter, Ned, MJ, May, Flash, Tony 

Warnings: Some violence, underage drinking, drug use, just angst tbh

Word Count: 4434

Summary: Peter, MJ, and Ned all go to a party at Flash’s house after he promises to “make amends” with Petr. While MJ and Ned are skeptical, Peter is ecstatic to finally be rid of the bullying and to be accept by his peers. But, nothing goes right for Peter. 

The day started nothing like how it had ended. To Peter, Ned, and MJ, it had been a typical Friday. They had gone through all their classes. They competed to see who could answers more questions correctly in class. They saw who got the highest grade on their recent chem test; Peter in first with a 98, MJ in second with a 97, and Ned in third with a 93.

During lunch the trio sat together at their usual table, discussing their plans for that night.

“Okay, so after Decathlon practice, we’re going to Peter’s apartment to finish building the Death Star. Does everyone know their parts?” Ned asks while chowing down on the sub par school lunch.

“You’re in charge of building the framework, I’m in change are building the upper half-” Peter responds and MJ picks up from there.

“And I’m in charge of building the bottom half. I’m in as long as I get to pick the music this time.” MJ responds, not looking up from her binder for the Decathlon team.

“Hey, what’s wrong with my music?” Peter asks defensively.

“Surprisingly, nothing. But I have some new records that you guys would actually appreciate.” MJ responds, her voice remains its normal steadiness.

“I’m excited to finally finish the Death Star! This is gonna be so epic!!” Ned exclaims with a warm smile on his face.

“Maybe if we finish in time we can watch The Empire Strikes Back!” Peter responds, looking for both their reactions.

“Star Wars is cool, but Star Trek is way better. Way more diversity and to be honest, much more scientifically sound than Star Wars, sorry George Lucas.” MJ responds, causing Peter to make a sour face.

“Star Trek is fine, but the story of Star Wars is way better. I mean it has everything! Adventure, love, drama, comedic relief!”

“All of which are found in Star Trek,” MJ responds.

“Fine, since we watched Star Wars last time, I guess we can watch Star Trek tonight,” Peter grumbles as he gives in to MJ.

“So guys, I was thinking we do some lightning round trivia for Decathlon practice today. We’ve been so focused on individual subjects that we should see what our critical thinking skills are like and test on all ten subjects. We tend to focus more on science and math, for obvious reasons, and we need to branch out.” MJ says and they talk about the decathlon practice until lunch is over and they are forced to finish the rest of their classes.

It wasn’t until after decathlon practice that their days changed. Mr. Harrington had already left the room to pick up his forgotten folder of paper that needed grading over the weekend. That’s when Flash decided it would be a good time to make an announcement.

“Listen up everyone! My parents are out of town this weekend and I’m throwing an absolute banger! I’ve decided to be nice for once and invite everyone! Kinda going for Party of the Year sorta thing!! See you all at 8.” Flash yells from atop a table, always aiming for dramatics.

“Yeah, no way we’re going to that lame party,” MJ says as she packs her bag.

“Parker! Come here a second!” Flash yells, signaling Peter over.

Peter, Ned, and MJ all look at each other, confused about why Flash would want to talk to Peter instead of publicly humiliating him instead.

Peter slowly makes his way over, a cautious look on his face.

“What do you want, Flash,” Peter asks in an aggressive tone.

“Woah, calm down there dude. I just wanted to say that I think we should have a fresh start.” Flash responds, laughing.

“A what?” Peter asks, caught completely off guard.

“A fresh start? You’re one of the smartest kids in the grade Parker, I assume you know what that means.” Flesh says.

“I know what it means, Flash. But why do you want it with me? Why the sudden change?” Peter asks, suspicious.

“You know, Parker. I never gave you a chance. I always saw you as competition so I made you my enemy. But since we’ve been on the team and everything that’s happened lately, I think we should start over. We could be better as friends than as enemies.” Flash says, and for a second, Peter believes him.

“Look, I get it if you don’t believe me. If the situation was flipped, I probably wouldn't either. Why don’t you and your friends come to the party tonight? Don’t worry about trying to find your own booze, I’ve got you covered. If I don’t prove to you my honesty tonight, then I’ll leave you alone. Think about it. People are coming at 8 if you do come.” Flash says, and before Peter can react, He’s gone.

Peter walks back over to MJ and Ned almost shell shocked.

“Dude, what was that?” Ned asks, concerned for his friend.

“What that ass-hat say this time? Another original dick joke?” MJ asks.

“He said he wants a fresh start?” Peter responds, still confused.

“A fresh start? Really, after being in school together for how many years he wants to pretend he hasn’t been an asshole to you?” MJ responds, anger slipping into her usually steady tone.

“I don’t know. He actually seemed kind of sincere. He invited all three of us to his party tonight to prove it.” Peter responds, earning an eye roll from MJ.

“While I’m always down for a party, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Fuck Flash, we have legos to build and Star Trek to debate about. That’s better than any party he could throw.” MJ responds, turning to walk out of the gym.

“Yeah, we can have more fun on our own than with them!” Ned adds, following MJ.

“Guys, I’m serious, I want to go! I think he was telling the truth! Why would he invite you guys too if he wanted to mess with me? Please, we should go!” Peter practically begs, an almost desperate look in his eyes.

MJ and Ned share a look for a moment before they break. Peter never is this adamant about anything that they do. If his friends want to do something, he’ll do everything in his power to do it. If they don’t want to do something, he drops it like he hadn’t even suggested it. But this is something he really wants. They didn’t want to see him get hurt, but they didn’t want to be the reason that Peter has one less bully either. Anyway, if they were there want could go wrong?

“Fine, we’ll go. But, that’s only if May can drive us and you owe us a lego and Star Trek night.” MJ says, causing the biggest grin to spread across Peter’s face.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you! You guys will not regret this!” Peter exclaims.

Little did MJ and Ned know that they would regret it.

The trio arrived at Flash’s house at 8:30, or what May called “fashionably late”. Ned was in his signature hat, giving off what he called “cool vibes”. MJ was in the same outfit she wore to school, not bothering to change. Peter wore a nice button up with jeans. For once, he decided to forgo the sweater to try and seem less like a nerd and more like the kind of person who goes to parties.

“Wow, I remember parties in the suburbs! These rich kids had the best houses to tr-. You know what, I’m not gonna finish that. Are you guys ready?” May asks as she pulled up in front of the huge house.

“Yeah, May we’re good. I’ll see at home later!” Peter rushes, wanting to get inside quickly.

“Thanks for the ride, May!” Ned says and MJ repeats.

“Don’t worry about it guys! And if you need a ride later, don’t hesitate to call!! My cell will be on all night! And don’t drink too much if you do!” May yells out of the window as the trio make their way up the huge driveway.

“I’m not drinking so you two have fun. One of us needs to be of sound mind.” MJ says.

“We’ll be okay, MJ. You don’t need to worry about us.” Ned replies.

“Yeah, okay sure,” MJ says.

When the three open the door, they are met with a sea of people. It seems like every kid in their grade came to the party. And seeing as the closest neighbor was half a mile away, no one would interrupt them. No one feared of being too loud or too crazy because the only ones who would know would be each other.

“Okay guys, make sure we stay together. Don’t want to lose each other.” MJ says as she starts to make her way through the crowd. Ned follows without a second thought but Peter scrambles after them.

For the most part, they stayed together. That is until they got to the kitchen. MJ and Ned continued forward, but Peter was called away by none other than the host himself.

“Peter, bro what’s up! Glad you made it!” Flash yells from behind the counter, surrounded by other guys on the football team.

“Oh, uh, h-hey guys! W-what's up?” Peter responds, entering the kitchen full of the guys who have berated him for the last ten years and even some girls who treated him like dirt.

“We’re just partying dude! Did you just get here?” Flash asks, no sign of hostility in his voice.

“Uh, yeah,” Peter responds, walking deeper into the kitchen.

“Well then let’s get you a drink! Betty makes some stronger rum and cokes? Do you drink those or are you into something else?” Flash asks, and frankly, Peter has no clue. He’s never drank before but he doesn’t want any of them to know that.

“Rum and cokes are my favorite man. I’d love one!” Peter responds, taking the cup handed to him by the pretty redhead.

“Let’s play flip cup! Peter, you’re on my team!” Flash says and after that, things get bad.

Ned and MJ spend a majority of their time trying to find Peter. Despite MJ’s warning, he quickly separated himself from the group. Not that MJ would say it, but PEter was vulnerable here, especially by himself. She didn’t trust Flash’s intentions. But, they kept getting distracted by people saying help or questioning why they were even at the party in the first place.

Back in the kitchen, Peter kept taking the drinks that were given to him. They were bitter, but he pretended that he knew that they would and was used to it. He didn’t want to look like a fool in front of the entire team and all the girls. He played game after game, not questioning the fact that they would stop halfway after he would finish. He was having fun. No one was yelling insults at him or degrading him. The girls weren’t ignoring him, they were interested in what he had to say. The guys wanted to talk to him. He felt on top of the world, almost as great as he did when he was Spider-Man. But drunk or not, he would never give that away. He didn’t feel the drinks at first. Sure, he felt a little lost and giggled more than he’d like to admit, but nothing too extreme. But then, it seemed to hit him like a ton of bricks.

His head started to hurt at first, but he blamed that on the loud music pumping throughout the house. Then, he felt a little dizzy, but he attributed that to the different flips and jumps that he had been encouraged to do by his new friends. But when he started to feel drowsy and a little out of breath he felt like something was wrong.

“Guysss, I-I don feel s g-good. M-Mayb I shoul goo lie-e own.” Peter’s speech was severely slurred, which in the back of his mind he knew he should worry about, but he couldn’t focus on anything right now.

“Aww come on, Parker. Don’t be such a pussy! The fun only just started!” Flash says, shoving Peter, causing him to go crashing into the counter, banging his ribs harshly.

The hit caused the wind out of him. The laughs combined with the music seemed to trigger something. Suddenly he was back under the collapsed building and not in the middle of Flash’s kitchen.

“Parker, don’t tell me you’re giving up on me now! I thought we could be friends! I even got these hot ladies to be nice to you!” Flash yells, tugging Peter forward, crashing into the sink.

“Guyss, ‘uys s-stop. I don f-feel ‘ood.” Peter responds, his breath quickening.

“I know what will make you feel better. Why don’t we show these girls how much of a pussy you really are!” Flash yells, causing the whole room to break out into laughter.

Before PEter could react, Flash is tugging on Peter’s shirt, attempting to show his scrawny body off. He also attempts to pull down Peter’s pants to further the humiliation. Peter now fully panics and shoves Flash as hard as his weak arms will allow him to.

Flash goes flying into the counter, wiping off the sick smile on his face.

“Big mistake, shithead!” Flash yells once he collects himself.

Suddenly, before Peter can react, Flash and four of his teammates are attacking him. Even completely sober, five on one would be a struggle. But right now, he was just shy of incapacitated. He was being berated with kicks, punches, and shoves. He was completely overwhelmed by all of it. He wasn’t being beaten up by school bullies, He was fighting The Vulture and his goons, except he couldn’t fight back. He wasn’t in the kitchen anymore. In his mind, he was somewhere else. Every hit to the stomach or chest and he was trapped in that building. Every hit to the face and he was facing The Vulture on the plane; he was still in the crash.

One kid, who while wasn’t friends with Peter also didn’t have anything against him, happened to stumble upon the scene. Horrified by what he was seeing, he scrambled to find Peter’s friends, hoping to stop this from becoming worse. MJ and Ned were on the back porch, on the other side of the house searching for Peter when a frazzled boy from their shared Calculus class approached them.

“Peter is getting crushed in the kitchen! Flash and his crew are kicking the crap outta him! I could hear a group of the cheerleaders that whatever they slipped in his drink was definitely working and he looks like he’s about the pass out! He’s hallucinating or something. He was like freaking out about a bird and like a building collapse. I didn’t know what to do so I went to you guys!” The kid yells, the alcohol he drank rolling off his breath.

“Oh my god, Peter!” MJ yells, her calm demeanor completely flipped into pure panic.

Ned and MJ rush to the kitchen, hoping to save Peter from whatever beating he was taking, scared out of their minds as to what Flash could have put into his drink. But, when they get to the kitchen, there is no sign of Peter. Just a ripped part of his shirt and splatters of blood on the counter and part of the floor.

“Flash, what the fuck did you do to him!” MJ screams, getting everyone’s attention.

“Oh, come on Michelle. We were just having a bit of fun! Little Penis Parker was the one who couldn’t handle it.” Flash says, getting laughs out of everyone but the pair.

“Where the fuck is he you piece of shit!” MJ screams, throwing the nearest cup at Flash’s head.

“Jesus, you bitch! I have no idea where he went! He ran out the front door screaming about plane crashes and vultures and buildings collapsing! I didn’t think the G would do that, but it was damn funny to watch!” Flash responds.

MJ and Ned share a look of pure horror.

“You sick fuck, you gave him GHP! What the fuck is wrong with you! How much did you give him?”

“Well the first vial didn’t work at first, so we added two more vials to be sure!” Everyone laughs.

Before anyone could respond, MJ marches up to Flash and punches him square in the nose. Blood immediately starts spurting out after a loud crack.

“Bitch, you broke my fucking nose! What the fuck is wrong with you!” Flash screams through the blood.

“He could overdose from that! He could die out there! I don’t know if you noticed due to your lack of humanity, but it’s the middle of December and it’s only twenty degrees out!” MJ screams.

Both her and Ned storm out of the house. Now that they were straying away from the house, panic replaced their anger.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! What are we gonna do?” Ned panics.

“Peter! Peter, where are you!” MJ screams out of cupped hands.

“He’s could be miles away by now! How do you know he can hear you!” Ned reacts.

“Do you have a better idea! He’s Spider-Man for god’s sake! If he can hear someone in distress from so far away, how do you know he can’t hear us!” MJ yells back, stunning Ned.

“How did you know that! He didn’t tell you!” Ned responds.

“He didn’t have to, I just knew okay! My suspicions were confirmed when I went looking for his calculator and found his suit in his backpack! Anyways, this doesn’t matter! We need help!” MJ says, tears forming in her eyes. Ned and Peter were her best and only friends. She would be devastated if something bad happens to Peter and she could have stopped it.

“Well we can’t call the cops and if we call Aunt May she’ll freak out and call the fucking FBI if she needs to. But I have an idea of who to call!” Ned says as he rips his phone out of his sweatshirt pocket.

Peter had given up on running. Well, he hadn’t really decided that more like his body decided to stop listening to what he told it. He could barely keep his eyes open, all he wanted to do was sleep, but he couldn’t.

The Vulture and his gang of alien weapons criminals were after him. He couldn’t breathe, not after the building collapsed on him. He couldn’t remember how he got out. All he knows is that his body is in so much pain. He can still feel the heat from the plane crashing. But the cold from the snow feels so nice but so wrong on his bare skin. He couldn’t tell where he was.

He was terrified and alone and all he wanted was for Aunt May to hold him or MJ and Ned to find him. But he didn’t even know where he was. Was he in Brooklyn or Queens or Germany or somewhere else?

“Mr. Stark! It’s Peter’s friend, Ned Leeds! Mr. St-” Ned begins the call but is cut off by a tired Tony.

“Kid, I gave this number to you and Peter for emergencies only. What could you two need at 12 o’clock at night on a Friday!” Tony says, exasperated.

“Mr. Stark, Peter is in trouble a-and w-we can't-” Ned tries but is crying too hard to get through it. MJ rips the phone out of his hand.

“Mr. Stark, my name is MJ, I’m a friend of Peter’s. We were at a party and we got separated. Someone slipped GHP in his drinks and started to beat him up. He was hallucinating about his fight with The Vulture and ran out of the house and now we can’t find him! It’s really cold and we’re scared! We didn’t know who else to call!” MJ explains on the phone, her emotions getting the best of her at the end.

“I’m sending Happy to pick you up. I’m coming right now!” Tony screams into the phone before hanging up.

Tony threw his phone down onto the desk in his lap and immediately stepped into the suit. He set the speed to as fast as possible and rushed to the coordinates of the phone call. He didn't understand what was happening. He would understand Peter drinking, he’s 16 years old. But to hear he was drugged and beaten baffled him. He didn’t understand why kids would do that. Especially to someone so selfless and someone who tries so hard to make everyone happy.

Tony searched throw the snow for Peter. After what seemed like an hour but was probably only about 20 minutes he found him. He almost missed him at first, Thought the patch of black was a bush. But the red streaking around it caught his attention and F.R.I.D.A.Y. alerted him that it was in fact, Peter. He rushed down into the snow to scoop Peter up when he realized that Peter was, in fact, conscious and was attempting to fight off an invisible foe.

“Peter! Peter, stop no one is there. It’s just me!” Tony yells, but PEter either ignores him or can’t hear him.

Ton crouches next to Peter, holding onto him tightly, keeping him from hurting himself further.

“N-No, stop-p, lease. L-Leav me alon!” Peter screams out in an extremely slurred almost indistinguishable speech.

“Peter, it’s me! It’s Tony. The Vulture is in prison. You’re safe! You’re safe!” Tony screams, holding Peter tighter.

Recognition flashes in Peter’s cracked open eyes.

“M-Mista ‘Tark, wha-” PEter mumbles out, confused but Tony cut him off.

“Ned and MJ called me hysterical. Let’s go. You need to see a Doctor.” Tony responds, flying off with Peter, who passes out after he finishes speaking, in his arms.

Peter woke up, hours later in a hospital like bed. He barely remembered the night before. He remembered May dropping off him, Ned, and MJ at Flash’s house. Everything after that is gone. It was terrifying.

“Good morning,” Tony said, sitting in a chair next to the bed, startling Peter.

“How are you feeling?”

“Sore and confused. Where are MJ and Ned? Where’s May? How did I get here? What happened last night?” Peter asks confused.

He didn’t even plan on getting anything more than buzzed at the party last night. How did he black out? He remembers telling himself to only have four drinks. What happened?

“The doctors found GHP and Rohypnol in your system. Luckily, your enhanced metabolism made it flush out of your system quicker, but it also made you feel it much worse.” Tony responded.

“I was… I was drugged?” Peter asks quietly, his voice horrified.

“Apparently the bullies thought it'd be hysterical. Why didn’t you tell me you were having problems at school? Why were you even there in the first place? You never do that!” Tony asks.

“They, they said that they wanted to make amends. That they wanted a fresh start. They seemed so sincere. I wanted them to be sincere...” Peter responds tears in his eyes.

“Well, apparently they lied. They could have killed you! The drugs in your system slowed down your healing for a bit, so the injuries from the beating will take longer to heal.” Tony responds, pitying him.

“I’ve always been an outcast. Ever since I was a kid. All I had was May and Ned. Now I also have MJ but, I just wanted it to be different. I wanted them to stop berating me and beating me. I can’t fight back because I’m scared I’ll hurt them. I thought they changed…” Peter says, tears falling down his face and sobs racking his battered body.

“Peter, you don’t have to change yourself for them to like you. They’re narrow-minded assholes who won’t get far in life. You’re a good kid. You care so much about people. You’re a thousand times a better person than they all are combined. Don’t forget that.” Tony responds, holding Peter the same way he had the night before.

"Aunt May's gonna kill me," Peter says suddenly.

"She knows you're here. She was sitting with you all night until she had to go to work. She's not mad at you, just scared shitless." Tony responds.

Peter feels both relieved that he isn't going to be in too much trouble but he also feels guilty for making his Aunt worry.

At that moment, Happy burst into the room.

“I tried to take them home, sir. But they threatened to jump out of the moving car if I didn't take them to him. The girl even opened the door in the middle of the 1-9!” Happy says, flustered

“That’s alright, Happy. They can see him.” Tony responded, letting go of the now calmer {eter. MJ and Ned burst into the room, replacing Tony’s spot next to Peter.

“Oh my god, Peter are you okay? We couldn’t find you and you were so delirious and oh my god!” Ned blurts out.

“I’m sorry guys, I should have known it was a trap. I’m an idiot.” He says still emotional.

“Peter, you’re the smartest kid I know. Flash and them are idiots for not seeing that and they are gonna regret what they did. I’m glad you’re okay.” A light blush dusts MJ’s cheeks and Peter turns bright red.

"Thanks, MJ," Peter responds,

"Don't mention it, loser." She responds and they both laugh.

Well, there it is! I really hope that you enjoyed it because I worked hard on this one! It started off as like a quick idea turned into this huge thing so oops. Please let me know if you liked it or hated it or anything you thought about my writing! I love to hear back and I am always trying to get better. 

Also shout-out to tcm--holland for saying a bunch of kind things about my writing! They’re an awesome writer and one of my favorite Spider-Man writers so you should check them out! 

[tvmblrsillyman]

i do not feel comfortable coming off anon, especially because you're already pretty hostile in this reply. i simply wanted to warn you because rab was a actual abuser of mine, and i'm younger/black, so adding that with their fixation of black people/other poc it makes me scared to reveal because they are the reason i'm currently in therapy. i'm sorry you don't believe me, i'm literally just trying to warn you. but i also don't understand how you see screenshots and say "they seem sketchy."

“sorry to send another one, i ran out of space. but saying "in the time i've known them, they haven't done this", invalidates my trauma and also makes it seem like you're completely rebuffing me when i'm trying to express (rightful) caution. i hope you don't treat other people who come to you about anything like this, it's honestly made me feel really shitty. i didn't mention kf, i was mostly talking about myself as a younger black person. thanks anyways. have a good night.“ you know what thats fair. sorry for coming off as hostile and placing a tone that invalidates ur trauma. i’ve only interacted them from a distance from the past couple of years following them so theres a good chance i rly dont know them. im only asking u to come off anon so i dont have to answer publicly esp since i dont know the full story and its hard to know whats right when its fairly easy to fabricate evidence online. (also i mentioned kf bc the blog u mentioned that googling their name would lead to more info which lead to those kf pages. should’ve clarified my bad.) I’ll admit i only skimmed thru the docs which made it seem like its just a compilation donation post they made. i’ll reread it thru again with more care when im more awake. either way i appreciate the time u made to talk to me, good night.

[chatxkilluaxnoir]

@storybookprincess​  Thanks answering my Asks!  I was worried you might not get them, because Tumblr, esp. with my Asks has been weird lately.  Anyway, I totally get you pov on not wanting to write stuff that might invite arguments.  I just wanted to say that I really did love your long Meta posts on stuff and characters.  Like I said, I might not always agree with your pov’s completely, though there is also a lot of stuff I do agree with too, but either way, I enjoy reading you stuff, and find it/them quite enjoyable.  

Yeah, I think in the manga Killua stayed quiet during that scene (I think, I might be wrong, pretty sure “telehxhtrash” would be sure, they have an even better memory of the manga than I do), but the way he reacted in the anime is still sometimes he would do, and very in-character, esp. during the 1st half or so of the series  I admit you saying you might do a long meta post for Killua like that Gon one you did (The one I was talking about in these 2 asks), on anything (Be it on Killua’s motives or morality or something else entirely), got me really excited.  I do hope you do that one(s) someday, and some other HxH and HxH characters metas, because I do love reading them.  Adding a “Read More Link” down below.   

Maybe sometime further into the future; if you ever feel comfortable doing so (again) that is.  I know certain fandoms, like the HxH one, can get very passionate, so debates and arguments happening do happen; most of the time it is done politely enough, but sometimes it can get pretty heated and stuff.  But yeah, if you ever to make more metas, like that Killua one(s), I would read the heck out of it.  If wanted to only send it privately through DM’s or something to people, if you didn’t want to post it/them publickly, that could also work.  But anyway, enough about all that.  

Just gotta say that I understand why you don’t really want to post metas that might introduce arguments and/or discourse for now, if you ever do though, be it publicly or more privately, I would be very happy, because the more analysis and interpretations the better for one of my favorite series ever, with some of my favorite characters and relationships ever (Like Killua, Gon, and their relationships.  Also love the rest of the Main 4, got a love/hate thing with the Zoldycks and their servants, Meruem and The Royal Guard, Bisky, and etc. to name some).  As long as I don’t find the interpretations and analysis completely wrong; like completely and utterly wrong and doesn’t involve character bashing and demonizing, I can be pretty open-minded.  

Anyway, till then, if ever, you do (a) more serious post(s) or another/other longer post(s)/meta(s), I will just enjoy the stuff you enjoy and like doing, i.e., the stuff you said you dong in this quote from the answer to your my asks:  

“i like making small observations & connections, like here , or writing goofy & lighthearted stuff like this, or writing fun & cute head-canons, or giving advice to people, and of course i LOVE writing fic”.  

So yeah, I am just keep enjoy that kind of stuff from you, and be happy when you post more of that kind stuff (Esp. For HxH and Killua and Gon and their relationship).  Esp. your amazing HxH and HxH Killugon Fics, which are always I treat.  And like I have already said, I like you dipping your toe not only into canon and canon divergences, but AUs too (While still keeping the characters (mostly) in character even in the AUs, which is great).  And I am also really enjoying you doing more longer, planned-out, detailed fics.  Your writing just keeps on improving and keeps getting on better!  Thanks for the links you gave me in your answer; I’ll check them out when I can.  

Your fine, you answer was coherent enough, and wasn’t really that disjoined ad convoluted (Plus I can be very all-over-the-place, even when I am completely awake, so at least you have more of an excuse than me, haha), and I was able to understand everything.  Also, I am pretty tired too!  I hope you get some sleep soon, and your vertigo gets better soon.  Being sleep-deprived and/or vertigo both suck, so I hope you get some rest and stuff soon, and that you feel better!  :3

So, I was just reading 1 of your metas: The 1 abt Gon & his behavior (Which was good, even if I don't completely w/ everything in it. Here is an excerpt from it: "(killua, in contrast, is fine taking the short & easy path as long as he & gon get to go together, but killua’s motivations are a different post for a different day)." So I just wanted to ask, if u will ever do that other post abt Killua's motives & stuff (I love reading Killua & Gon metas. Like on their morality & motives)? Ask 1/2.

So yeah, I would if you did that post/meta someday! I love Metas/Analysis (I am craving more!), esp. for HxH, & 2 of my favorite boys ever; Killua & Gon. Also wanted to ask, in that excerpt I put w/ my 1st ask. But u said that Killua was also willing to fight it it met him & Gon passing & moving on to the next phase. I thought in the manga; Killua kept silent, so his thoughts/motives were more ambiguous, but maybe it was in the anime too? It was still prob. in character tho either way. Ask 2/2.

awwww thank you for sending these!!!!  first, to answer your question, i haven’t read the manga, but yes, in the 2011 anime, killua explicitly says he’s fine taking the short & easy path provided he & gon are two of the people who get to take it.

as to whether i’ll write a meta about killua’s motives/morality in the future, my answer at this moment in time is probably not.  i've made some recent-ish changes/adjustments to how i interact with fandom in general based on whether certain behaviors or activities were enriching my experience or detracting from it.  and at least for me right now, making posts where i’m trying to argue a certain side/position within fandom aren’t really a positive experience.  i like making small observations & connections, like here, or writing goofy & lighthearted stuff like this, or writing fun & cute headcanons, or giving advice to people, and of course i LOVE writing fic, but posting anything that will likely invite argument in a public setting isn’t my personal cup of tea at this point in time.  there are plenty of people for whom that is fun & productive & enriching & that’s fabulous & they do awesome at it & i think they bring a lot of amazing perspectives to the fandom.  it’s just not where i’m finding the most enjoyment rn, if that makes sense, so i’m not really in the mood to create that sort of content.

i apologize if anything about this answer is disjointed or convoluted or just generally strange--i am massively sleep deprived at the moment & have been dealing with some pretty intense vertigo all evening, so my brain is extremely extremely fried & i hope you can excuse anything about this that might sound weird. xo