#pretend this neva happened

[natriae]

part 1

honestly this could be read alone

Osamu watched as his brother angrily walked out of his restaurant. It was obvious that this wasn’t Atsumu’s standard victim pout he did to get attention. This was his ‘fuck, i just fucked something up so badly that even i know it’. Rare for Atsumu but not new. Osamu, however, is quickly distracted by your trembling body as you run to the bathroom. What the fuck did he do now?

Suna glances at Osamu as his body turns back around towards the front door. The silent interaction doesn’t go unnoticed by the other boys, but they know better than to interfere. Quickly excusing himself, Osamu exits the front door to find his brother crouched on the side of the building with his head in his hands. There was one thing Osamu told his brother when he first introduced you too. You simply were just another loyal patron to his establishment, but he saw how his brother looked at you. After you had left, Osamu made it very clear that Atsumu was not to hurt you. You were a sweet girl who did not need to be left crying over his brother. He knew the kind of man Atsumu was. He wasn’t ever there for a long time. All he wanted was a good one, but the way Atsumu's eyes watched you thank Osamu for delivering your food had a look of childlike innocence that Osamu had only seen in Atsumu’s first love.

Back in the restaurant the boys had their own conversation about what was possibly happening. Not realizing how thin the walls were to the bathroom. Your sobs had quieted down and you were sure you were ready to head back out and pretend that none of this ever happened. While grabbing the handle you hear the soft talk of Sunarin’s voice, “You know I surprisingly had hope he wouldn’t fuck this one up too. I mean she really isn’t his type, but I don’t know maybe he wanted to try something new.”

“Rin knock it off, that's not nice,” Kita quickly responds, but all you can hear is the low chuckle of Suna’s laugh. What did he mean? Were you really not Atsumu’s type at all? It wouldn’t be the first time you had heard this, but hearing it from someone that Atsumu sees as a brother hurts worse. Your hand slowly reclines back to a position at your side, body falling into the same sync softly sliding down the wall. Your eyes twitch, unable to find the water to cry. It all hurts. Of course it was silly to date him.

Outside Osamu crouches down next to his brother. Atsumu doesn’t bother looking up, already sensing who was there. The younger twin waits patiently watching the lights switch from red to green down the street. It’s much quieter here than in Tokyo. Most of the city is already asleep and the streets are empty. The occasional sound of another restaurant closing up for the night is loud and clear for the two boys to hear. He watches as Atsumu’s arms fall to rest on his knees and he lifts his head so body leans back to completely rest on the wall. Osamu notices how Atsumu patiently waits for him to scold him. For him to immediately question what the hell he did. To possibly pick a fight this late in the night, but none of that comes. Life’s different now, and they both know now that some situations can’t be solved by bickering. He’s grateful his brother can read him well enough that he knows he regrets what happened without having to say it.

“I messed up ‘samu. Just like ya said I would,” Atsumu states, looking to the ground. Too ashamed to look at his brother. If there's one thing Atsumu has had to learn to control while growing up, it’s his ego, and he’s constantly being tested by the universe to see if he finally learned better. Yet here he is once again ruining something that was good for him all because he got defensive. He wasn’t thinking. Something he’s really good at. It was a cheap shot that he deeply regrets.

“I neva said ya were gonna to mess up,” Osamu sighs, watching his brother’s face for a twitch of emotion, “I wanned ta make sure ‘ou were gonna go into this for the right reasons. I’ve watched ya crash and burn far too much. I just want ya to be happy.” Osamu finishes. Calmly watching his brother he notices Atsumu's face go through several emotions.

Eventually the elder twin settles on, “what should i do ‘samu?” the look on his face resembling one of a kicked puppy. It hurts Osamu to see his brother like this. He can even remember the last time Atsumu came to him for advice, but here he is looking like a lost little boy who wants his mother.

“do what y're good at,'' Osamu lightly chuckles, “talk ta her, dude,” is all he says before he gets up and walks back into Onigiri Miya. Atsumu is left with his thoughts for a little bit longer before he gets up and watches the scene from the front window.

He leans against the wall and watches Osamu wave his arm up, motioning the small party to follow him to his apartment. He can't hear what they are saying, but based on Osamu's face he knows there's no room for anyone to question.

Walking back into the empty restaurant he slowly locks the door worrying about the inevitable. His brother's restaurant is a mess. There are streamers everywhere, some ripped from where they were taped to the wall. Plastic cups litter the tables who's chairs have been stacked away in the back to make more space. His eyes finally land on the bathroom door where you hide.

His heart feels like it's tearing itself in two. Something he hasn't felt in years, but he's older now and he won't lose you. When his grandma passed back then Atsumu covered his pain with what he thought was love. Yet it always ended the same, with his brother drinking away till he passed out. However, he was okay with losing them. It was almost a pain he wanted to feel for not grieving his grandmother like he should have. A torment he thought he deserved.

Then he met you. When he learned you've never been in a relationship, nor a situationship, he felt as though it was a gift from his ancestors. A way for him to learn that he does deserve happiness, but he never thought about the many tests it would come with. He's old enough now to stop running from his problems. You were perfect for him. He wasn't going to lose you now.

“y/n” he says quietly while knocking on the bathroom door, “y/n please open up, please” he begs. There's a small shuffling on the other side that's just enough to keep his thoughts from spiraling further. He takes a deep breath before going up to knock again. As his hand raises, he hears the door click signaling you've unlocked it.

You’ve opened the door just enough to be able to see him. Not fully exiting. “what?” you question softly. Your throat dry from the constant tears. You're careful in noticing how his face morphs into multiple emotions seemingly fighting with his brain and heart.

“please come out, will ya,” he begs once more, hand reaching out for yours. He pulls his bottom lip in as he takes a deep breath. It’s as though the man before you is made of glass - for you to see all of him, and you’ll take it. Even if it is far too late.

Finally stepping out of the bathroom Atsumu is left to see your flushed face obviously reddened by the constant wiping of tears. He swears his heart shattered further. He needs to explain, but his mouth simply won't open, so he gestures to the booth where it all began.

Your miind finally has time to recognize the pounding headache overtaking your body. Hardly allowing you to recognize that the shop is completely empty. Atsumu sits down first then you follow in suit on the opposite side. Resting your eyes for a moment you don't realize that Atsumu has already grabbed you a glass of water for your headache. You politely thank him and take a sip. Your brain and body immediately relaxing at the sign of water.

“I want to ask for you to be patient with me, but I don’t deserve it—” Atsumu starts quietly.

“‘sumu—”

“no, please let me say it all before m’ ego gets in the way,” his face slowly lifts and his eyes go searching for yours. Once they catch he immediately looks away. Not once in this relationship have you seen Atsumu so unconfident. He always walked into every situation with a level of confidence you could only wish to achieve. From day one, he took charge. Always guiding you, being there for you, and all around keeping you safe, but it was obvious sometimes it became too much for even him to keep up with. He'd break down when you weren't around and walk out with a mask.

He knew there were a lot of first for you when this relationship started, and the way he approached all of them made you feel loved. A rare feeling that made you love him all the more. He never out right showed his inner turmoil. Which is why today came as such a shock, but with the way his eyes glossed over and his hands shook you figured today might be the day he finally opens up. “I'm sorry y/n. I really really am,” he says, voice cracking towards the end. He takes a deep breath before continuing, “ I shouldn't ‘ave snapped at ya,” he lets out a sound similar to scoff, yet also laughing at himself, “ I- I've never been good at communicating my feelings very well,” this makes you laugh. No shit.

“ I know, it's obvious, but there was one thing ya should know. I made a promise to m’self, ‘samu, and even my ma. That's how ya know it's serious. From the moment I met ya… I knew ‘ou were the one. I'm not entirely sure how ta explain it, but I wanted no one but y’u, and when ya left this very restaurant. I ran ta Osamu ta ask about y’u, so ya can imagine my disappointment when he said y’u were quiet and all he knew was your order,” He smiles back at the thought, “I- I don't mean i was disappointed ya were quiet by the way,” he rushes out making you smile. You nod your head telling him to continue.

“That day while I was still tryna to understand these new feelings I eventually made a promise to m’self… Y’u were going to be mine, but I told m’self that I will make ya the happiest person on earth. Whatever it takes, and when I finally told ‘samu I was gonna ask ya out. He stared me directly in the eye and said ‘’tsumu ya break her heart i'll kill ya’ and that's when I knew for sure y’u were a gift ta me.” Atsumu’s eyes glass over before he continues, “Ya know, when ya first met my ma she said ta me ‘’honey, she’s a nice girl. Be nice.’ and I know that doesn’t sound like a lot, but I know my ma was never proud of my decisions especially when it came ta love. I was stubborn and I would always flee the minute things got difficult, and If i’m being honest I think it was a way to distract myself from all the pain I held in.

My shithead dad left when I was young, so when times got hard on my ma ‘Samu and I would go to my grandma’s.” A tear falls down his face and his leg begins to bounce under the table, “She was an amazing woman, and I’d spent a lot of time with her. I will not lie she was quite the gossip so there were a lot of things I shouldn’t have known…but I did. I knew that my ma just wanted to be loved, and I think from a young age I took that duty upon m’self. To make sure she knew she was loved, and my grandma was proud of me for that.

So, when my grandma passed I started college I figured I didn’t have time to grieve her and I spent a lot of time drownin’ out my sorrows with… sex.” He pauses for a moment, “ I-I noticed how happy it made me, and I figured I’m making these girls feel loved so I must be doing something right, but then things got messy. I spiraled and I swore it off when I got into MSBY, but then I met y’u.

I swear it was like my grandma placed ya here to knock me back into place. She always told me I would make an amazing husband and for some reason that day I met y’u I was reminded of that. I didn’t even know who ya were, but I knew deep down that y’u weren’t just anyone… I never told ya this, but I did start going to therapy after I met ya, and everything and every way I have reacted was genuine, but being here, with everyone, I think I knew ya would start ta see that old side of me that I tried so hard to bury, and I got scared…” by now the tears fall freely down his face, but he refuses to completely break. He’s always had to be the man of the house, but he needs to know that he’s allowed to show his emotions as well. That’s a lot of responsibility for a young boy.

Getting up from your seat, new tears fall from your face as you walk around to the same bench Atsumu sits on. Wrapping your arms around his frame you hold his head to your chest, and he breaks. He cries and his shoulders shake as he lets out the pain of the last several years.

It was obvious since the moment you met him that he was soft on the inside. He’s lost himself over the years like many have, but you’re glad he’s starting to pick up those pieces and put them back together. You squeeze him a little tighter before finally speaking up, “‘Tsumu…thank you for telling me all this. I was in my head a lot. I’m always in my head a lot,” you giggle, still holding him close, “If we want this to work we need to communicate,” you whispered for only him to hear. His head softly nods before he lifts his head up.

“What were ya gonna ask me before?” he whispers back.

You lean closer to him, your noses almost touching. Taking a deep breath you begin, “From the stories, and especially the things Suna was saying I was really beating myself up about how many relationships you’ve had. It’s stupid, It’s just jealousy.” you say, shaking your head.

“No, you’re allowed to feel that way. If we were switched I’d probably be in ma head about it too.” he attempts to calm you down. His hands move to hold yours, squeezing them to let you know that this is real.

“Sometimes I get really upset when I think about…maybe you had girlfriends with sexier bodies than me,” his head shakes, “ or maybe it’s a burden that I don’t always know what I’m doing, like when we kiss,” you finish, his head falls at your statement, but his hands never leaves yours. Now he understands why his statement before was so hurtful. Why can’t he just think about others for once?

You shake his hands to bring his attention back to you, “please don’t beat yourself up over it,” you beg.

He takes a deep breath before bringing one of your hands to his face so he can kiss it. “I hate that I hurt ya, but please do not ever compare yourself to anyone in my past. There’s a reason they’re in the past. Y’u are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Trust me I’ve seen a lotta woman,” He jokes. At that you lightly smack his arm. “I’m kidding, but seriously you are special, and I love you,” He brings your body close, holding you tight to his chest. Your hearts beating as one.

tags:

@mangiswig @fashionloverr846 @dracarysbitch @bbqsauceonmytitties2 @07-lsssaaa @touchmyanarchicblogs @z0mbi3dl @suyaaachin @fairyflorasworld @stellarnathy @kensqueent @gigiiiiislife @mncxbe @gustomagkalatnimicadito @yuminako @girlincrimson @haitanibros0007

IT WORKED!!!

[tinylilacbun]

hiii! idk if you’re requests are open but I was wondering if you could do a daddy wade x little girl reader (i can already hear him call her peanut!)where she skins her knee playing but tries to hide it from him and when he finds out she tells him she wanted to regenerate like her daddy🥹

Just like you

Pairing: daddy!wade x little!reader

Warnings: age regression, fluff, hurt knee, tiny mention of blood, comfort

As a little with a mercenary as a caregiver who's often gone during the day you know how to keep yourself entertained without getting bored, sometimes watching too much cartoons than you were allowed but other than that you were a good peanut.

Another day with Wade being gone and about to earn some money, with the promise to be there for movie night, you were busy playing to make the time go faster.

Looking through your toy chest you pull out a cape, giggling in delight you quickly fasten it around your neck. You also grab two stuffies to play with, rushing to the living room.

Wade was a hero in your eyes, obviously. He doesn't exactly tells you what happens exactly during his jobs, just snippets and not any gory details for obvious reasons, but nonetheless he's your hero. That's why you love to pretend you are a hero yourself.

As you keep playing that you're rescuing your hostage stuffed bunny from a cat you run around the living room, jumping up and down the couch you lose your balance and fall knees first onto the hardwood floor with a yelp.

You sit on the floor, pouting at your now bloody knees and hesitantly touch one and wince at the sting. "Owie..."

But you don't start crying. Your daddy doesn't cry either, he sucks it up and keeps going with the knowledge that he will regenerate in no time. So, with a huff you get up and continue playing as if nothing happened.

A while later you are sitting on the couch watching a cartoon as you hear the front door unlocking and Wade steps inside, still wearing his suit and carries a bag of takeaway.

"Daddy's home!" He loudly announces himself. "That'll never get old." He walks over to the counter that separates the kitchen from the living area to set down the bag and takes off his mask as well.

The second his hands are free you quickly get up and run into his awaiting arms. "Missed you daddy."

He smiles, picking you up by your thighs and kisses the tip of your nose. "I missed you too, peanut. Bet you had more fun than me. You didn't start our movie night without me, did you?"

"Nooo, I could neva! Waited jus' for you." You giggle, eyeing the bag of food your stomach growls. "What's this?"

"I got your favorite takeout." He says, chuckling at the way you're almost drooling at the sight. "Get settled on the couch and I'll be there in a minute, 'kay?"

You nod enthusiastically, rushing back to your previous spot when Wade set you back on the ground.

Soon enough he got changed into something comfortable and you both are eating your dinner on the couch while he tells you about today's job, making sure it's appropriate for your current headspace.

When you finish eating and Wade has put on the movie you got to choose this week you get more comfortable.

Wade sits back down next to you, grabbing a fluffy blanket to cover you both but stops when he gets a glimpse of your knees. "Peanut, what's this?"

"Huh? Oh, that happened when I was playing hero. S'okay, jus' hurts a little!" You shrug it off with a smile.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" He sighs.

"Wanted to be like you daddy." You mumble, looking down at your hands.

His eyes soften at that, a small smile replacing his frown. "Like me?"

"Mhm, wanted to regenerate like you 'cause is so cool!"

"Oh peanut, you're too sweet for this world. Wait here, I'll be right back."

Sure enough he comes back with a pack of hello kitty bandaids, kneeling down beside the couch and quickly unwrapping two of them, placing them carefully on your knees. "There, all patched up. You're still just like me, y'know? You just need a little longer to regenerate than me and that's okay."

"Really?" You ask a little uncertainty, tilting your head.

"Oh, hell yeah. You're just as cool as me and that means we deserve this." He pulls out two lollipops and you squeal, instantly reaching out for it. "Let me unwrap it first."

He settles back down next to you, letting you snuggle into his side before taking the wrapping off and handing you your treat.

He wraps an arm around you, kissing your head. "You'll always be my cool peanut."

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ ✧˖°

Taglist

@chimindity

For everything:

@my-river-lilly @pauntedblacknails @fanfictioniseverything @devilslilbabysblog @buckymydarlingangel @hallecarey1 @daybreakwinter @loveshineslikethesky @wandaslittlewhore @vase-of-lilies @white-wolf1940 @simpingbutch @mischiefsemimanaged @alina02 @teddybearsgrr @doozywoozy @angelbabydoll28 @glxwingrxse @lilymurphy03 @veryvaughnny @lokigirlszendaya @youngstarfishdinosaur @little--baby--bear @minideathgoddess @rach2602 @gh0stgurl @flourishandblotts-inc @lovelyy-moonlight @yoruse

@mythixmagic @iris-xoxo-juhu

For Marvel only:

@aagn360

[tiredfox64]

Since my identity as an anon have been exposed for that fic I did request,,,,

Can you make Pipsqueak pt. 2,,,,

*looks at u with my big eyes*

(I need to know the stupid shenanigans,,,,)

(Sorry got gay)

Little Bitty Pretty One

Yip notes: in my best Italian accent Don't say I neva did anything for ya. You are in debt to me.

Pairing: Bi-Han x Gn reader

Warnings ‼️: Haha you still small!

It seems when you need Liu Kang the most he is not there to answer. He could at least leave a message.

Well, you’re still small, unfortunately. Or maybe you like this situation. You’ve been stuck this way for two days now. Just as Bi-Han thought, you are incapable of doing many things. You’ve been depending on him for everything. You truly had no choice but to obey your grandmaster. Cause when you are the size of a Norway rat but lack the abilities of one your survivability is at a low possibility. So do him a favor and act good.

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

Bi-Han tries his best not to wake you up in the morning. He’s been keeping you in his room so he can keep an eye on you and prevent you from getting hurt. He has to tiptoe around or else he will wake you up. Little does he know you’ve been waking up when he does because he always groans when he wakes up. What a loudmouth. You stir in your makeshift bed made of soft cloth material and a sponge before pretending to still be asleep. He doesn’t know that you like to peek at him when he is getting ready for the day. He doesn’t sleep with a shirt on…need I say more? It’s enjoyable to watch him tie his hair into a bun, he looks so pretty. But you can’t watch him change fully he puts a bowl over you to prevent you from seeing. No worries there are holes at the top to allow you to breathe. Alright, now he will wake you up.

He pokes your back viciously but not enough to possibly break your spine. You smack his finger which does nothing, go figures. Then he scolds you lightly for hitting your grandmaster. Again, he can’t yell or else he will risk bursting your eardrums.

Breakfast time! What do you want? Trick question, you have no choice. Whatever Bi-Han gives you is what you get. He purposely leaves some of the food big to make it seem like you are a rat nibbling on it. As he eats his breakfast he’ll occasionally look to his side to see you nibbling on a slice of carrot, your teeth leaving little marks. Now you’re whining, saying you need much more than that.

“You are acting very greedy. Have I not done enough for you already?” Bi-Han asked but you know he is being petty. When is he not.

Fine, he gave you a proper meal. Though the slice of cucumber he provided was still too big for you so you had to munch on it for a bit. He found it entertaining to see you stuff my cheeks full of food like a hamster. You did look silly that way. Especially with that glare you gave him.

Time for practice! Not for you, you’re too tiny for that. You’re gonna be staying in the palm of Bi-Han’s hand where he will proceed to pet your back with his finger. He starts from the top of your head before sliding down to your lower back. For some reason, you immediately relax when he does that. You fight a little because you know he likes finding people’s weak spots and exploiting them. But you stood little chance since even when you were big you still couldn’t fight him off. So you are forced to partake in this wonderful torment where he slowly watches you melt in his hands.

Bi-Han was so distracted by tormenting you he forgot to give orders to the rest of his clan. They waited with confused expressions. Kuai Liang had to tap on his brother to get his attention, only to be glared at by him as he quickly cupped you in his hands. He thought someone was trying to snatch you away from him. He can’t have that happening.

“What do you want, Kuai Liang?” he asked in annoyance.

Kuai Liang craned his neck in the direction of the clan to show that they were waiting. Bi-Han groaned as usual and gave them an order. Something mundane because he couldn’t care less in that moment. He was more preoccupied with you which you were trying to squeeze out of his hands again because you didn’t appreciate him leaving you in darkness.

Your little hands were trying to scratch their way between his fingers before he realized what you were doing. He uncapped his hands and you looked up at him like he just committed the ultimate betrayal.

“Don’t give me that face.”

He had you sit on his hand while looking out to the clan so you could watch them. His pointer finger and thumb were constantly squishing your face or rubbing below your chin. At this point anything he is doing to you is subconscious. He doesn’t know that he is doing it but it feels right to do, like twirling a pen while writing. It is necessary to squish something so small and fragile. You’re not having it. You’re out of here! Plan your escape!

You started walking on his arm, occasionally having to grab onto his arm guards to prevent yourself from plummeting to the ground. He sees your efforts and he does not like it. He tried to grab you but you kept swerving out of the way. Soon enough you were at his clothes and used them as a way to get down. You heard him saying words such as ‘stop’, ‘no’, and the occasional ‘obey your grandmaster’. You’re your own person, you can handle yourself! You can survive without your grandmaster’s assistance.

Never mind there was a giant golden orb weaver on the ground. It’s a female unfortunately so it’s humongous. You are not ready to handle that.

Bi-Han!!!

He froze the weaver in a matter of seconds before shattering it into millions of pieces. You were hugging his boot with your eyes closed, wondering if he demolished the arachnid. He picked you up by your uniform and you screamed thinking it was the spider before realizing it was Bi-Han.

“Will you listen to me now?” he asked with his usual grumpy tone.

“Yes, grandmaster.” You replied with your head lowered.

You obeyed him for the rest of the time, thank the elder gods. I would say that it made everything easier but you were still left being poked, petted, and squished by Bi-Han. At least when dinner time rolled around you were able to breathe. You got to munch on a nice, fat dumpling. Took a while before you got to the filling but it was so worth it when you did. That dinner could have knocked you out immediately after. You almost did but you were startled when Bi-Han picked you up and brought you to his office.

Escape plan part two!

Forget it, he already knew what you were planning. You tried to run around on his deck but he quickly pulled you back before placing you at one end of a hand towel. In one fell swoop he rolled you up like sushi. There, now you will stay in one place.

“Hey! You can’t do this! I’m a human being!” You yelled in a shrilled voice.

“A human being who drank a potion when I told you not to.” He got you there.

You could be angry all you want but you did get yourself into this mess. So just lay there and take your medicine.

You were forced to lay there silently as Bi-Han worked for about half an hour before the door opened. Finally, Liu Kang is here to help you. But for some reason, Bi-Han didn’t seem to be thrilled about this.

“I have been informed that there was a little incident,” Pun intended, “Let me assist in making things righ—oh.”

Liu Kang saw you wrapped in the hand towel with your eyebrows furrowed in anger. He gave a questioning look towards Bi-Han but at the same time, he could understand if your grandmaster had a hard time keeping you under control. Liu Kang had to hold himself back from chuckling as he reached towards you. He was going to unravel you to help get you back to normal but Bi-Han snatched you away. It nearly gave you whiplash.

“Bi-Han, I need them to get them back to normal.” Liu Kang informed him but Bi-Han walked out of the room with you in hand.

You were shouting at him and asking what he was doing and saying that this was what he wanted. You may think this whole situation was a hassle for Bi-Han. You would be slightly wrong. He finds this situation very entertaining and even, though he would never admit, adorable. It’s like having his own personal pet. A pet that has to depend on him because they don’t have any animal-like skills.

He will have you return back to normal one of these days. But this day won’t be it. Liu Kang was trying to get an answer from him but he wouldn’t say a word. He walked right into his bedroom, made a wall of ice to prevent anyone from getting in, and sat right on his bed.

He unraveled you before carefully placing you in your makeshift bed. He didn’t want you asking any more questions so he started to pet your back again. It’s too easy. With the food in your belly, the tight wrap from the towel, and the feeling of Bi-Han petting and rubbing your back you were out like a light. You were even drooling a little.

Bi-Han hasn’t felt this much joy from something in a long, long time. He wasn’t even allowed to have a pet when he was young. So let him enjoy this for a little longer then he will bring you back to normal.

But when you are back to normal you better not drink another strange potion he swears to the elder gods!

Now he can get ready for bed. He needs to mentally prepare himself for the next day. Who knows what you could do then.

Are you peeking at him taking his shirt off again? Turn your head! Damn rodent…

Yap notes: Last time I wrote for you that spine-eating goofball payed me a visit. He better not come around again just cause I did this for you. Also I hope you are feeling better I saw that you said you were sick get some Vic’s vaporub, ginger ale, and an egg to cleanse yourself. Adiós!

[angelgoeslewd]

is she the other girl? (Raphael’s Part)

🔮 summary: inspired by this post, Raphael is rumored to be seen getting cozy with another women. you, though not officially dating him, get a bit jealous and confront him about it.

🎧 listening pairing: ava. natalie jane.

⚠️ warnings: heavy angst, some language, bad coping skills.

[BARBATOS, DIAVOLO, SIMEON, AND SOLOMON COMING SOON!]

Raphael was not known for his social personality. there were definitely a lot of rumors and gossip going around about him, but many of them had to do with his sarcastic demeanor, his cold shoulder, and blank face. all of it was pretty much bullshit and you easily tuned most of it out. except the day you were in the library, sorting through books to find a specific one he had recommended reading alongside the other he gave you, a touching gesture to you, though to some it may have seemed like he was trying to look down on you, like you wouldn’t understand his book unless you read its companion. but to you? you cherished the fact that he shared something with you, something you knew he liked. he simply wanted you to see it from his eyes. and that’s when it happened.

two fellow students came around the corner to your side of the library, hushed whispers in between the rows of book. it wasn’t unusual, but the minute you caught whiff of Raphael’s name being dropped, you felt you owed some sort of defensiveness to the angel who had so kindly gave you his reading recommendation, straight from his own shelf, and instantly turned to jump in, a decision you usually chose not to make. and did you ever regret it.

“-I know! Who’d ever thought it? Mr. Holier-Than-Thou, neva seen a smile a day in his life got game!”

“You’re sure it was her? She’s so pretty! What does she see in him??”

“I know!! That’s what I said- but, and get this, apparently she was wrapped around his arm the whole time! They went to a bunch’a places! This fancy restaurant on Main, some sort of jewelry shop… like a ridiculous amount of money had to have been spent on her! I dunno what it is, but Raphael’s got it!”

they both laugh and being to walk away, the sound of their voices fading as they do. you standing there with your raised hand, pointed into a wagging finger, and let it drops to your side as you blinked at their words. Raphael… had a girlfriend? He had a girlfriend? That you didn’t know about? He was a very private person, but he didn’t seem like the type to lead you on. Especially when he was treating you so special now… the way he beelined to sit next to you, how he shared his things with you, asked you to spend time with him more… you thought he was the type who would only do things like that when he was interested in someone. did you misjudge his feelings? he… couldn’t have misjudged yours, however. you thought you made it quite obvious you had a thing for the angel. he… should’ve said something. he just let you go on this impossible quest that you would never win and embarrass yourself? so you could be the silly human trying to win the heart of an angel? it hurt.

it hurt so much — the confusion, the embarrassment, how much emphasis you put on feeling like your affections were shared — that you had to completely separate yourself from him for a while. you couldn’t face any of the angels, in fact, knowing they would try to help on behalf of their brother and you just couldn’t deal with it. you completely rearranged your schedule, choosing to nap with Belphie one day, be late to classes with Mammon so you could sit in the back with him, eat lunch out with Beel, all so you could avoid the angels. your heart hurt whenever you saw Luke worriedly glancing your way, but the idea of him bringing up whatever happened with Raphael had you turning the other direction. Simeon and Raphael both stared at you whenever you had classes together, even if it meant them getting admonished by the teacher. you kept your gaze to your paper or the board, pretending not to see them in the corner of your eye. you were packed and out the door before they ever had time to approach you.

it was hard, having the piercing gaze of the angels always on you, trying to avoid them when they always seem to know where you were, but whenever you thought back to what happened in the library, your heart throbbed painfully and you continued to mute their texts, leave your phone in your room and go on whatever outing the demon brothers had planned for that day.

an entire week goes by like this.

surprisingly, it was Solomon who ended up approaching you. he had tactfully avoided the whole thing, never mentioning it to you and therefore still was allowed contact with you, but you still kept him on thin ice and were positive he knew that. you suppose that’s why he trapped you. Solomon asked you to help him study a new spell, avoiding any outing that seemed to suggest small talk, instead offering to go to the human world, where you knew it would be nearly impossible for the angels to follow, as they almost always needed permission from Michael to go on such a field trip. you agreed and when you got there, he immediately started working on the spell, to his defense. but… it was much too easy. you got it after 30 minutes. he shrugged and pushed it off, saying it seemed more difficult in theory. he offered you tea and again, you agreed, disarmed by the convincing lies.

and that’s when he dropped it on you. “I think you should talk to Raphael.” you stopped, cup half raised to your mouth, looking at him, seething.

“Is that why you invited me here?” you spat, slapping down the teacup a little harder than you should have. “Just to talk about him?”

Solomon considered you for a moment. Then shook his head and asked, “What happened? Apparently, according to him, everything was going just fine and then you started avoiding all of them.”

“Just fine? Yeah, he would say that.” you scoffed. “He has a girlfriend.”

Solomon blinked, “No, he doesn’t.”

“Yes, he does!”

“I’ve never seen her.”

“Me neither!”

“Then how do you even know he has one?”

“These things come out, Solomon! You can’t just hide it forever! But you also just can’t ignore a girlfriend! She was on his arm — he took her to all these nice places! Everyone saw it!”

the sorcerer leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes, hand on his chin, frowning as he thought. you grit your teething, cursing him, Raphael, those students, with every breath you took. sadly, you can’t do mental spells just yet, and it doesn’t work.

after a while, he shook his head. his eyes blinked open, but the frown stayed in place. “I… really don’t think so. It’s not my place to say but… you mean something to him. He’s completely insufferable right now, you know? He’s been that way since you’ve started ignoring him; snapping at all of us, hiding out in his room for almost the entire day. No one can get him out. It’s a train wreck, really.” He sits forward, leaning over the table to drive his words home, “Please. You don’t have to forgive him, you don’t even have to be nice. Just. Talk to him. If not for him, then for Luke. Raphael made him cry yesterday.”

and that’s where you sit currently. Back at the House of Lamentation, on your bed, glaring at your phone. You haven’t even opened the chat, dreading doing so, but you have to get this over with. you pick up the phone. you open the chat.

it is filled with over 200 messages of him pleading with you to talk him, asking what happened. 29 missed calls. you take a breath, asking Michael to have mercy on you and let Raphael be asleep, and begin to type,

‘we need to talk.’

the green online light is instant, like he’s been waiting by his phone.

‘Yes. Please. Where can we meet?’

‘no. here.’

‘Why do you not want to meet me? What happened?’

another text quickly follows that one.

‘I miss you so much.’

it’s something that makes tears hop to your eyes, his honeyed sweetness — his absolute honesty of his feelings when you know he hates it. it means so much and feels like a stab to the chest all at once. all the feelings you’ve been avoiding hit you over and over, the undertow of your sea of emotions pulling you out, anger and betrayal and pain washing over you again and again, and you can’t stop yourself from hastily typing out a response.

‘you had a girlfriend?? this whole time?? i thiught i meant something to you. i thought we were i dont know connecting!? i felt so close to you, i wanted to share everything you did, i paid attention to everything you said, every little thing i could learn about you. it hurts so much to have you do this to me. i wanted to be with you every single second i could, you mean so much to me. did it mean anything to you? was i just a plaything? a human you could toy with to amuse yourself??’

‘…’

your anxiety spikes when the dots indicating he’s writing pop up. they disappear. they return. they linger. it happens a couple times and you so badly want to throw your phone across the room, but you’re so invested in what he has to say, how he could excuse himself for this, when one line pops up.

‘I don’t have a girlfriend.’

you do end up throwing your phone.

you end up crying into your pillow for a while, completely ignoring the sound of your phone vibrating with message alerts. but when your ringtone goes off, you decide to pick yourself up and answer it.

Raphael calls your name from the speaker.

it crackles like he’s outside, wind blowing into the microphone, but you still can hear him. “What are you talking about? I don’t have a girlfriend.”

“Raph,” you say, exhausted from all your emotions. “People saw you. The- the girl! Hanging off of your arm!”

“Girl… ? Ah. You must mean that one.”

“That one? You have others?” you deadpan.

“No. No, that’s not what I’m trying to say. The blonde one, yes?”

“I- I don’t know! I didn’t ask for details! I was too busy being hurt by — ”

“The jewelry store? Yes, I can see how that might have looked.” He sighs, barely audible above the wind. “That’s why I was trying so hard to get rid of that witch. I knew something like this could happen.”

to say you’re shocked would be an understatement, his words make you second guess everything you’ve done in the past week. “The… witch?” you ask meekly.

“Yes. The drunk one. She kept grabbing my arm and following me while I was doing errands for Michael. I couldn’t get her off and Michael needed those things urgently. They couldn’t wait. I understand how looked from the outside. I’m sorry I hurt you.”

you’re on the verge of crying again. he didn’t… have a girlfriend? you’re so embarrassed, yet relieved, and you feel so stupid for even believing those damn rumors, but you were so hurt by such a believable story-

Raphael calls your name again, this time, despite it sounding identical, is tinged with worry. “You’re whimpering into the phone. Are you ok?”

“I- I’m ok. I just… feel so stupid right now,” you whispered, voice cracking as you force yourself through the sentence. “Raphael, I’m so sorry, I- I should’ve-” you can’t finish. you have to cover your mouth as the tears win, flowing over your hot cheeks, hoping he doesn’t make fun of you too much.

you expect some sort of sarcastic response, a comment that slices you when it points out how ridiculous and over the top you’ve made this scenario. but it doesn’t come. Raphael doesn’t do any of that. All he asks is, “Can I come over?”

“Yes,” you choke, breaking down even harder.

and then he’s there, you don’t know how, but his arms wrap around you, his cold jacket catching on your soft pajama top. he clutches you to his chest as you cry, taking the phone from you and setting it down on your desk so you don’t have to clutch it tightly and hurt your fingers.

“Raph… Raph.”

“I’m here. Come on, let’s get you to the bed.”

You twist your fingers in his jacket, a silent plea for him not to let go, but it never even looks like he plans to, awkwardly steering you to the bed as his legs teeter to the side of yours. he falls down with you in his arms, stroking your hair. when your cries taper off, he hands you tissues and wipes your face with his the top of his shirt.

you can feel how puffy your face is, as you sit up, straddling him. he lies there, his blue eyes taking you in as he lets his hands hesitantly rest on your hips. “Raph, I’m- I’m so sorry. I should’ve come to you about it. I made everyone miserable.”

He gives you one of his rare, warm smiles, shaking his head. “Don’t worry about it. I’m just happy we’re ok now.” A nervous look crosses his face and he looks away from you. “Did… did you mean what you said earlier? You want to be with me?”

“I- yeah. I did- do! I do. Very much so.”

“Next time, I’m taking you on errands with me.”

[integra1127grimmreaper]

Written All Over Your Face (Joel Miller)

Joel Miller Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Prev

Warning: swearing, angst, bit of smut

Summary: You return home for Sarah's sixteenth birthday. Part 2 of - Should Probably Leave. Inspired by - Tanya Tucker's - I Bet She Knows.

It's been two years but here you were, back in Austin; your only reason for returning was that it was Sarah's sixteenth birthday. You really dreaded having to come back here after everything that happened with Joel but there was no chance in hell you were going to miss one of the biggest birthdays in that girl's life. Although things with her father and you had soured you still cared deeply for Sarah and was going to be there for her big day, come hell or high water.

You were genuinely excited to see Sarah again, the only contact with her having been over the phone. What damped it was having to see Joel with her. Tess, the woman that he had been seeing for the past year or so, according to your mother.

To say you were dumbstruck by the news would be putting it lightly, you were completely shattered by it. Here you were, still trying to mend the pieces of your broken heart, yet Joel hadn't taken that long to move on after you left; something that he had pushed you to do.

The Miller house was already booming with activity by the time you arrived; not wanting to risk bumping into Joel so soon into the event, you had sent your parents ahead and decide to go a bit late. Easily sneaking in through the sea of people gathered in the backyard, you head straight for the alcoholic beverages; if you planned to survive this event, you'll need all the liquid courage you could get.

"Knew that back profile looked familiar..." a male voice drawls out behind you.

Shaking your head with small chuckle, you turn around smirking, "hey there baby Miller."

Tommy audibly scoffs, pressing a hand to his chest in pretend offense, "baby Miller...? Ya wound me, Sweetheart. Ain't been a baby in a long-ass time."

"Can see so" you chuckle, scanning him head to toe, "how ya been, Tommy?"

"Nuh-uh... that ain't how we greet" Tommy shakes his head in displeasure, spreading his arms then. Audibly snorting, you step into his open arms for a hug.

"Much better..." Tommy groans, hugging you tightly. "Life's been good" he states, letting you go.

"Still playing at being the charming Lady's Man?" you smirk at him.

"Actually... in a stable relationship" Tommy shyly responds, scratching the back of his head.

"No, shit?!" you mouth drops in bemusement, "neva thought the day would come that Tommy Miller would settle down..."

"Just had to meet the right woman" Tommy shyly shrugs.

"So, what's this wonderful woman's name?" you smirk at him.

"Maria" Tommy replies proudly, scanning the sea of people, "should be round here somewhere..."

"Sure I'll meet her later" you remark, not wanting him to fuss too much over it.

"Joel and Sarah know ya here?" Tommy remarks then, causing to internally flinch at the thought of having to face him.

"Just arrived, but I'll catch up with 'em."

Tommy's face turns to a serious look then, "they missed ya. Both of 'em."

"I missed Sarah terribly too" you respond, making sure not to touch the topic of Joel.

Tommy frowns at your words, or lack thereof, "he really has missed ya."

"Tommy" you sigh out, "let's not go there."

"But-" Tommy attempt to argue but you cut him off.

"He's with someone now and that ship sailed two years ago."

Tommy opens his mouth to say something but is interrupted by someone calling his name out. Head dropping in defeat, he lets out a heavy sigh, leaving you with four last words; "just talk with him."

She wouldn't know me if she saw me And you'd turn your head if you did She'll never know how much you loved me Or what kind of love we had

You threw away all our pictures But the memories won't go away She's asking questions that you don't have to answer It's written all over your face Yes, it's written all over your face

I bet she knows when I'm on your mind I bet she sees it in your eyes What's in your heart, you cannot hide I bet she knows when I'm on your mind

*

After Tommy left you to your own devices, you managed to find an inconspicuous spot; planning on hiding out of sight as best as possible. You were three drinks in, enjoying the serenity in the little spot you were seated until it happened; a laugh, the deep raspy laugh of Joel's that you once loved to hear yet now was in utter agony by it. Then right on que, the crowd parted and there he stood; tall and broad as ever. He had his back to you, and you were at a great advantage to secretly admire him from your little spot.

A faint smile tugged at your lips as you sat and watched Joel having an animated conversation with a woman and man, whilst another male stood stoically listening to it. It was good to see him happy. It was good that at least one of you were.

Your sense of equanimity was soon shattered when the woman laughs at something Joel says, tilting her head upward to press a kiss to his lips. So that's her? That's Tess...

Well, that's enough party for you... Sarah would forgive you if you sent her text message, that you had fallen ill before finding her and you could always give her gift the next day.

With that thought in mind, you got up to leave but your plans were instantly foiled by a loud excited shrieking of your name.

"Y/N! You came!" an adrenalized Sarah flings herself into your open arms.

"Hey, Lovebug..." you groan out into her mass of curls, pulling slightly away then to smile at her.

"Happy Sweet Sixteen" you hand the little gift box.

"Thank you!" she excitedly squeals, pulling you in for another hug. "I'm so glad you're here. You have to tell me everything about New York!"

"I will, I will..." you chuckle, attempting to calm her down a bit, "we can go out shoppin' an chat 'bout everythin' over coffee."

"Deal" Sarah grins in excitement, suddenly bring up a dreaded topic. "You seen Dad yet? He'd be so happy to see you. I'm sure he's somewhere around here..."

"He's probably busy..." you attempt to steer away from it as Sarah scans the crowd.

"There he is!" Sarah calls out and against your better judgement; you turn toward the direction she had pointed out, only to find that Joel was staring at you the entire after hearing Sarah yelling out your name.

As two of stood silently staring at each other, you felt yourself being transported by to that night two years ago.

Late in the midnight hour When you're doing what lovers do There's still a desire deep down inside That's just between me and you

Now don't you ever feel guilty Giving just half of your heart Holdin' on to your foolish pride Is just keeping us apart Yea, it's just keeping us apart

I bet she knows when I'm on your mind I bet she sees it in your eyes What's in your heart, you cannot hide I bet she knows when I'm on your mind

*

Flashback

The minute Joel and you reached the bedroom, both your clothes went flying in a frenzy to get one another naked.

"Jesus, ya gorgeous..." Joel groans out in appreciation at your naked form.

"Joel..." you blush at his words, turning to a more serious tone then, "what I tell ya about talking?"

"That I do it too much an should be doin' somethin' else..." Joel snickers, wrapping his arms around you.

"Exactly so-" your words get cut off by Joel pushing backwards onto the bed, laying his naked body over your own.

"This ya way of tellin' me to shut up?" you giggle.

"Workin' ain't it..." Joel smirk, tipping down to capture your lips in a deep kiss. You let out a soft whimper when his when slowly moves down your body to cup eventually cup your mound.

"Jesus, ya soak..." Joel groans in approval.

"Stop teasing, Joel..." you whine out in frustration.

"Hold ya horses, Sweetheart..." Joel snickers in warning, fingers gently probing at your entrance, "need to get ya ready first."

"Am ready..." you whine out and Joel shoots you a warning glare.

"Not for my cock. I'm a lot to take...need to open ya up bit first."

"Joel..." you begin to whine but it comes out as a loud gasp when he slips a thick finger inside you.

"There she is..." Joel coos working the finger slowly in and out of you, second added now long after, causing you to whimper out in pleasure.

"Jesus, ya tight..." Joel groans as he continues working his thick digits in and out of you, "an ya wanted me to just shove it in ya...?"

"Fuck, Joel...!" you cry out in response as he picks up the pace of thrusting his digits into.

"Good girl..." Joel praises as your hips rock along with the motion of his fingers. "Fuck. Need to taste ya...."

End

*

"Y/N?" Sarah's voice calls you out from your trance.

"Huh?" you turn your attention back toward her.

"I asked if you're gonna say hi?"

"He's busy" you shake your head.

"It's just Tess and the new neighbors, Bill and Frank, they won't mind" Sarah reassures you.

"Actually, I ain't feelin' all that good..." you respond with a grimace.

"Oh, no" Sarah looks to you in concern, "what's wrong?"

"Nothin' major, just bit of jetlag I reckon" you wave her concern off, feeling a bit guilty at lying to her. "Think I'mma just head on home."

"Ok, you do that" Sarah nods in understanding, "I'll tell Dad, you said hi."

"Thanks, Hun" you smile, pulling her in for a hug, "enjoy the party an I'll speak to ya soon."

"Love you" Sarah plants a kiss to your cheek.

"Love ya too, Lovebug" you plant one onto her forehead in return.

 "Who was that?" Tess asks, pulling Joel's attention away from your retreating form.

"Huh?" Joel brows furrows in confusion.

"The woman that was with Sarah, who is she?" Tess nods her head in the direction you had been.

"Oh, no one... just a friend of Sarah's" Joel splutters out with a headshake.

"You sure...?" Tess arches a brow at him, "cause, the two of you were staring at each other weirdly for quite some time."

"Yea, she lives in the neighbourhood" Joel attempts to shrug the topic off, "just ain't seen her in a while."

Tess's gaze narrows for a split second, suddenly smiling she turns back to Bill and Frank, "where were we?"

While the three of them continue talking, Joel finds his attention slipping back to the direction you left in. Heading dropping with a low sigh, shaking himself back to attention; he returns to conversation.

In the cool of the night When the howling wind calls my name You can run into her arms But it's not the same It's just not the same, but

I bet she knows I bet she sees it in your eyes What's in your heart, you cannot hide I bet she knows when I'm on your mind

I bet she knows when I'm on your mind I bet she sees it in your eyes What's in your heart, you cannot hide I bet she knows when I'm on your mind... 

Nxt

[clearcloudlesssky]

*sips tea* WHY, HELLO THERE

I am here to inquire about your writing! (I just want to give you an excuse to make a tumblr post about it because you're an amazing writer)

Who's your favorite oc and why?

What two characters do you think have the most interesting dynamic together out of the ones youve written?

What tropes do you use the most?

Do you have any ocs you think youd get along with irl? Any you think you'd hate irl?

ALSO...CAN I MARRY ORPHEUS??? (and eule i love them both)

WHY, HELLO TO YOU AS WELL

thank you for inquiring about my writing!! it means a lot seriously

i am so so sorry i didn’t answer this sooner i literally did not know that there was a inbox until today sobs

well anyhoo questions

1) who’s your favorite oc and why?

my favorite oc at the moment is levine. mostly cause depressed doctor with a missing inventor childhood friend, who disappeared after a morally wrong experiment, but then the subject of that experiment appears at his doorstep and what tf is he supposed to do now.

plus i just like his personality (me saying he’s quiet and hates interacting with people just like me frfr)

ok but on the legitimate side of things

levine tends to portray himself as a misanthrope who dislikes spending time with others, but in reality he uses it as a mask to cover up the fact that he doesn’t actually hate people, rather he ends up caring too much, so he just withdraws.

he pretends to be the first option, but ultimately he’s a bleeding heart disguised as a cynic. yes, he’s bitter and somewhat jaded by certain events, but that doesn’t stop him from feeding the scrawny cat on the side of the road or taking in a child? automaton? person? that was left to him.

plus his relationship with childhood friend aka local crazy woman camille who is his exact opposite is fun to write

2) what two characters do you think have the most interesting dynamic together out of the ones you’ve written?

hmmm out of the characters that i’ve written so far the relationship between yuna and neva is probably the most interesting to me, seconded by marion and cinna.

in yuna/neva’s case it’s the mixture of childhood-friends-turned-reluctant-enemies-but-not-really, and the thing about their vibe that i like is that they just keep making each other worse. they love each other, they adore each other, but they also hate and despise each other, and whenever one falls it’s inevitable that the other follows.

yuna is usually the one to take the first downward plunge, without any hesitation, and she always looks back at neva like “are you coming?” —and neva always looks at her, and something inside her whispers that this is wrong, she shouldn’t be doing this, but another part says yes this feels good, and enjoys the thrill, and it’s that side that wins over like all of the time.

because when it comes down to it yuna just does what she wants in the moment, without much regard for the future or the people around her. maybe a different person could reel her in, or clean up her messes, or tell her hey this is wrong, but that person will never be neva. neva is kinda apathetic to both life and people, she’s just plodding through life. yes, she has a better moral compass than yuna, but she’s not pressed enough to follow through on that bit of conscience within her and stop what they’re doing, so everything usually just spirals and spirals until it explodes.

that was basically them in their teenage years, and when the story starts as reuniting adults, the pattern just. happens again but on a larger scale. i told you they’re my toxic lesbians and i love themmmm

3) what tropes do you use the most?

erm i would say that i use “childhood friends” AKA “knew each other in youth” wayyyy too frequently. also a sucker for the parental figure and traumatized child relationship

4) do you have any ocs you think you’d get along with irl? any you think you’d hate?

i think that i’d get along with eurydice (wow i should probably rename her) mostly because she’s a chill lady, runs a tea shop. i’d like to get a drink from her and just relax. i also think i’d get along with doll but let’s be real, doll gets along with like 99% of the people they meet. they are my sunshine porcelain automaton child. (i coparent with levine.)

erm i would probably dislike hanging around yuna, enough said about that. i kinda want to say marion but i wrote him to be fairly charismatic and i don’t think that i would be immune haha

5) can i you marry orpheus (also eule)

STOP MARRYING PEOPLE’S OCS ASHER >:(((((

you have permission to marry eule. but marion comes as a side piece. this is non-negotiable.

as for orpheus, ask anil lmao

suddenly occurs to me that nobody knows who these people are. oH well maybe i’ll post more later TwT

i wrote this at 2AM coughing so if this is incoherent i sincerely apologize

[cg-saturn]

hewwo saduwn 

m having a hawd time wite now cus i jus got axcepted inta a cowwege wich is weawwy good bu m awso weawwy scawed to gwow up an hafta live aw by mysewf ina state were i don kno anybody an i can’t be wif my mommy an daddy an bwoders an were i hafta fly to get to an dats weawwy weawwy scawy. 

m tuning 18 in jus a few monts an m weawwy scawed. i neva wike getting owder cus i jus wanna be widdle again an it makes me hav panic tacks an cwy wots wen i tink bout it too much. m weawwy scawed to be owder an hafta do tings by mysewf i jus wanna be baby again an not hafta wowwy bout stuffs. 

sowwy if dis is too much i jus don kno who ta tawk to bout dis an your weawwy nice an hewpful 

-cosmo (@littlespaceyboy) 

Hey little one, I want to start this off by letting you know you're not alone. Growing up is really scary and hard, but no matter what your big age is, you'll always be a little kiddo at heart.

College is not for everyone. I'm so tired of the way we (americans) pretend that you need to keep climbing the stairs instead of giving yourself a moment to rest. When you're 18, you shouldn't have to figure out the rest of your life. You are still a kid. We pretend that there's some magic change that happens as soon as you turn 18, but there isn't.

As someone who attempted college, I feel like the only thing I really learned was that I had no idea what was going on. I went for two years and didn't make any friends, the food was awful, and I really struggled with my classes. Maybe it was the school I was at, but also maybe I just wasn't ready for it. It's hard to be away from the things you know and the people you care about. For me, I was suddenly confronted by the fact that I have some severe mental disabilities that had never been delt with, like adhd and other issues. I never had to face them in high school, but suddenly I was struggling to wake up for a 9am class and getting straight d's when I was an a/b student growing up. It was a different world, and I couldn't adjust.

I also don't want to sound like I'm just dissing going to college, because I do think it's important if you have a goal in life that requires a degree, but not everyone's paths go in that direction, and I think it's important to remind the up and coming kiddos that growing up doesn't have to be as fast as we pretend it does.

If you are going to college, I do have some advice too- set your alarms and remember to eat at least twice a day. I really struggled with organization, both time and physical. Tote buckets and planners go a long way when you can remember to use them. Try to set time aside every day for assignments, and don't push them off until last minute. I know its hard to start things, but I promise the faster you get it done the less you'll have to worry about. Join a study group with kids from your classes, or go to extra credit workshops when they're offered. It helps to get out of your room and study around campus too- its a great way to socialize when you're someone like me who hates making friends, just go to the library and meet a mutual study buddy to sit silently with and maybe get dinner after.

I know being away from home is scary. No matter what home life you come from, a change in living situations is always hard. I'm so proud of you for going on such a huge adventure kiddo! And I promise- home will be there when you get back. Living now, your family is just a phone call away when you miss them. Sending letters back and forth can be really fun too, most schools give mailboxes for students to use. Definitely remember to bring your stuffies and blankies, and never forget that just because you're getting bigger doesn't mean you're any less of a little kiddo 💕

Sending you love cosmo, please feel free to dm me too if you need anything at all. I'm wishing you and all my other Littles who are moving on the best of luck, and im so so proud of you for making it through high school! @littlespaceboy

Pippi Saturn 💕

[burning-fcols]

✩    「   @dorkydemcn​    」   ✩  - Continued from ★

「 ☆ 」     ❝  Well, yeah— Of course we’re friends.  ❞  Angel says with a light laugh, patting Jerry’s hand a few times before moving it away. Resting his elbow on the table, cheek is propped up by a fist as he continues through a grin,  ❝  D’ya think I’d be hangin’ around you fo’ free if we weren’t? My time’s valuable, baby… and I’ve decided that you’re worth it~  ❞  Not many people get to see this side of Angel. Playful in a calm, casual way. Comfortable in his flowy sundress, no need for dramatic airs or form-fitting clothes. Not needing to fill a role— any more than he normally does —because someone paid to see it.

Around Jerry, he doesn’t need to try quite so hard.

The bashful guy deserves a reward for that.

Leaning further over the table, chest rests on his crossed arms, fluff spilling from the low neckline of his dress. Fluttering his lashes, he playfully adds,  ❝  I’ve also decided that I’d like t’ show ya a li’l thanks. Fer bein’ such a great guy… So, how about it? It ain’t a big deal. Jus’ two people pressin’ their lips togetha’ an’ havin’ a bit of fun~  ❞  It’s funny, despite all the stuff he’s done, Jerry’s flushed expression makes Angel feel as if he’s suggesting a full-out orgy. He supposes he can’t judge the other too harshly. Kisses aren’t to be taken lightly… Not when someone thinks they matter.

Smile turning softer, voice follows suit, a hand reaching out to cup Jerry’s cheek,  ❝  C’mon, Jer-Bear… I wanna do this. If you end up not likin’ it, then we can pretend th’ whole thing neva’ happened, alright?  ❞  From the light chuckle interlaced in the suggestion, Angel clearly doubts that’ll be the case.  ❝  Tell ya what, if you’re interested- then meet me half-way.  ❞  Brushing his thumb against the other’s cheek before lowering his hand, Angel moves a bit closer, leaving enough space between them for Jerry to have to make a move for anything to happen.  ❝  An’ if you ain’t, jus’ lemme know an’ we can get back t’ lunch. Eitha’ way, you got nothin’ t’ lose.  ❞  

Patiently waiting to see what Jerry does, Angel calmly studies Jerry’s reaction, eyes glittering with a fond curiosity.   「 ☆ 」

[saso-does-art]

Trigger wanting: these 2 chapter include: Addiction, Drugging, Implied rape, Abuse, MUDER, Ingery: ENKOY AT YOUR OWN RISK

Chapter 2: the yaoyorozu faimly

(trigger warning: implied rape)

(a few months ago)

(hinakos pov)

I smiled as the day finally ended. I was making tea. "You want some?" I asked as Setsuko walked in. She nodded before I put some lsd tablets in. I knew she liked LSD, so I got her addicted to it. I smiled, giving her the tea she passed out after drinking the cup. I pretended to panic, calling 911 after 10 minutes. "Help! My friend overdosed due to her addiction." I lied.

(a week later)

(netsukes pov)

I sighed as I walked into rehab for the 3rd this month. I was almost going to be realized and finally allowed to go to school.

(A month later)

I was walking home before I was pinned to the wall by Dabi. I stared at him, his hands now on me… I don't want to talk about what happened that night.

Chapter 3: the Aquino family

(small note: akua is a childhood friend of both present Mic and Aizawa)

(13 years ago)

(Akua's (akua is Setsukos mother) pov)

"We need to leave," Emilio (my husband) said, holding Kaki by the shirt. At the time, I was having my 2-year-old daughter Setsuko. "What happened-" I started as he instructed me. "NO time to explain," he muttered. I called my friend from elementary school (present mic) and explained it to him. We then immigrated back to Japan. The country I grew up in. Kaki was just 12, and Setsuko was only 2 at the time. When we got into Japan and settled into our new home, troubles arose…

(2 years later)

I watched my baby bleed out. Neva, Emilio killed him… HE KILLED MY BABY. I could feel my life shatter as Neva stopped moving; she stopped breathing, and Setsuko started crying. I tried to calm her, but not before Emilio got to her first. He, using the knife, had cut a slit across her right eye.

(a year later)

(setsukes pov)

I walked with my brother to the house of his friend Touya. Touya greeted us there. As we walked past the rooms, I noticed a young boy with red and white hair (I later found out (at the entrance exam) that the boy was Shoto Todoroki). I had stopped walking with them, and I watched him. He then turned around to notice me. I smiled slightly, walking slightly into the room. I then realized that my brother was gone, so I was going to figure out where he was, but the kid grabbed my arm. I then started to feel my arm burn, the burn hurting more and more, and eventually, I screamed in pain. The scream broke the glass of a vase in the room, and he had let go to cover his ears. I took that moment to back away from him, the burn scar still very visible. I was almost shaking.

(A few months later)

I could hear Kaki and Dad argue in the other room. Then I listened to the front door slam as Kaki ran out. "He is just going to Touyas for the night. He will be back tomorrow, right?" I told myself. The next day, Kaki didn't come back, "he's just taking more time with Touya; he'll be back tomorrow, right?" I told myself. The next day, we were told that Touya died in a fire the day Kaki ran off and that they had not even seen Kaki that night or yesterday.

[yakocchi]

Our Prenuptial Nightmare // Eisuke

hooray, finally the end to this dumb season LOL but i like this one a lot…… maybe it’s even the one from this season only worth reading (i havent read all of them tho)

well this one is actually kind of refreshing bc as i posted before, it’s abt the MC losing her memories. she’s not just a season 1 blank slate… she doesn’t remember anything after getting a job at the Tres Spades, so she barely remembers her own friends as well. yikesu

my rambling behind the cut

so eisuke honestly treats her the same as he always does, just obviously more distanced (im gonna read the His POV after this so idk rn). shes pretty spooked about this scary guy, maybe even more than she was in season 1 since he’s way more caring about her health or w/e despite being a CEO and all. for a pretty long time, he keeps her stuck in the hospital. he brings her a dvd that contains a media appearance of him publicly introducing her as his fiancée and she’s like “tf, is this a prank???” and all sorts of ppl visit her and stuff. shes still pretty much in disbelief about the whole thing until her parents come visit and they clearly know who this weird guy is

eventually she gets stuck in his penthouse instead. tbh she’s probably not “healthy” enough to work rn given that she doesn’t remember anything about her job, but she can’t even step one foot outside the room without soryu and his goons (appointed by eisuke) being like “HEY WAT U DOIN” so it’s kind of dull and jarring for her haha. later she finds a diary that she wrote in before her memory loss and she’s like “oh wow……. i was simpin that hard for this guy huh” (ok more like “wow, i really love this guy huh”… but i mean same thing). she also wants to make food for him and cooked up a risotto but since eisuke’s been busy af, she ends up falling asleep before he comes home (late) to eat it.

then eventually she presses forward about learning more bc she feels that eisuke is hiding a lot about himself, esp. in terms of what he does. and shes right abt that bc hes purposefully not saying anything abt the black market auctions, etc. eventually eisuke gives in and explains to her the whole 20m bid thing that started this whole romance. she tells him she wants to learn more, and so eisuke turns it into a whole date. They have a date that’s the “type of date for a first date”, and then it concludes with the inn at Kobe.

PART 2 eisuke makes it sound like hes gonna bone her but obv the guy is just teasing for the most part and it ends p cute bc he’s sweet (sweet for his standards) about it. later they go to that same petting zoo or w/e with the cute bunnies. lol eventually the same bunny that doesn’t seem to hate him shows up too. they end up bringing the rabbit home (the rabbit’s name is Maron, as in “chestnut”) to take care of. i guess maron is their animal bebe now it’s been like a month, so she returns to work eventually. hikaru notes that she’s doing pretty well for someone who doesn’t remember how any of this works. but then later, she passes out while remembering the strange discussion she overheard the day she lost her memories. eisuke goes WAH MC and then when she eventually wakes up and he’s like “it’s ok, dw abt it” while she’s like “bro i got something to tell u”. next day he tells her that he’s made her the Floor Leader of the eventual “Tres Spades Maldives”, but then she realizes during the flight that the man with her is not Eisuke, but Yuuma sent there to comfort her and also to do the Maldives business stuff. it’s obvious eisuke’s trying to separate from her. after all, it’s been a month and there’s no sign of her memories returning. he’s pretty blunt about organizing all of it without her realizing (wow what’s new). she’s really sad about it but relents and goes with it anyway. i mean eisuke is obviously pretty sad about it too since he parts with her with that genuine smile and says along the lines of “Don’t forget… that I’ve always loved your dumb face.” why i QQin BRO

well hikaru and yuuma are here in maldives so not too bad. also the penthouse bedroom is pretty good, it’s an aquarium lookin thing anyway so obv eventually the “generic gangster model” guy has to show up and kidnap her. well yuuma comes to the rescue and blahblah they want to murder her bc eisuke knew too much abt business nonsense going on again and then she dives into the sea. before she drowns, the real eisuke miraculously shows up to save her blahblah everyone else comes to save the day (2) and then they return to the Maldives suite. eisuke is like “smh i should’ve taught u how to protect urself” (…) “swear to me that u will not behave like an idiota ever again” and her memories come back after she goes “I can’t promise that (…) if you put yourself into danger, then I will continue to do the same” and has a flashback of his confessions from various seasons. HUGS lol that cg really has him going :I before a : )

everything goes back to normal, she finds a ring on her right hand and they’re wearing like… couple rings..... boi you guys are supposed to be married soon, just wait for those well fin. i skipped a buncha stuff in this “ramble” but yea my first impressions and all

[doxypsychlean]

Was there ever a time, ever a moment?

Pairings: Aemond Targaryen X OC

Summary: "That bastard truly loves her. And she's been toying with him this whole time"

Warnings: Explicit language(more will be added later on, gotta come up w it first)

Multiple Chapters

Previous chapter/s: 1 , 2

Next chapter/s: 4

Thou shan't repost/copy/ translate any of my work or I'll sneak into your home late at night and bite your nose off!

English isn't my first language. I don't proofread. I slap commas wherever I feel they're needed.

A/n: We do NO blinking in this establishment! Gotta get our eyes all nice and dry. There's some translation of the Asshai'i down below btw. Wasn't sure what to do w it tbh, but I felt like trying to fit it btwn the actual convo would be too much to deal w.

It was days like this one that made the young woman regret ever leaving her home. King's Landing weather did not agree with her, nor did she with it. It was always too hot, too sunny. She was used to the cold Asshai days and even colder nights.

Although the Shadow city was as southeast as Essos goes, the weather there had always been on the colder side. The thick blankets of black clouds that stood watch over the city did not let any light pass through.

Another thing she was starting to miss dearly was how silent Asshai was in comparison. It's sheer size was massive, said to be great enough to contain all of King's Landing, Oldtown, Volantis and Qarth within its walls combined. The population however, was low. Low enough for a person to spend their entire day walking around without encountering another soul. And even if they did, the locals stayed out of eachother's way. They did not spend their time hiding in the shadows. They were the shadows.

Shadows with some busy lifestyles, that is. Everyone had somewhere to be. Something to do. No distractions. The Asshai'i were devoted to their craft. There were no children around to scream their lungs out or babble to no end. There were no birds to chirp happily in the trees. In fact, there were no animals in the Shadow. They'd all die within a day of being brought into the city. Only thing they had were blind, deformed fish that dwelled in the contaminated waters of the Ash, only madmen would dare consume.

For her and for few others Asshai was Heaven on Earth. Quiet, as peaceful as it would allow and mostly importantly- one was free to do as they wished. As long as they had the necessary means. As long as they possessed the power.

"Salen guenhwyvār xen'h Nevae."

Rebonna sensed their presence long before they even appeared behind her.

"Āeksio salen." The two shadows siad in unison.

"Kav othok emā nesh syt tel'quien tha?" Rebonna asked, never stopping to look at them. All the while pretending she did not see the silver haired man watching them from afar. About time.

The two creatures walking close behind her did not say anything. Not that they had to, she already knew what they answer would be.

"...Sýrí?"

"Āeksio salen, eron iksis daor narom a feer...Thamar saz'gon daor." The taller one's voice reached her ears . His dull eyes were staring at hers. Never blinking.

The woman stopped and turned to face the two. They held her gaze. Doing the opposite in such a moment would be a fatal mistake. They knew what happened to cowards.

"Essa mirith, guenhwyvar salen. Aeth tha eron iksis maleē bithreem."

Silence fell upon the halls of the Red Keep. They could all hear him now. He thought himself a skilled, great warrior. One of great vigor and low-cunning. Yet he walked around the place as if he were purposely trying to get his cover blown.

"Āeksio salen...Mirri eno iksis egzieā thamar."

Rebonna circled around her servants, so she could stand between the two. She grabbed each of their arms and pushed them forward,the skirts of her dress trailing behind her as she sped up.

"Tha millentu rumol issa. Ha'ave kav othok, guenhwyvar salen. Thamar keskidosso ti." She let out a laugh. Her eyes were not laughing though. She did not appreciate him meddling.

"Mero thamar...?" The one on her right asked.

"Daor neh-akh, Enek. Kāolin issa naeot, tha ledā zyrelá sen thaóla. Giś forbin."

"Hae othok ukasire, Āeksio salen." Enek agreed. He picked up the pace, so did Beliz.

They walked through the halls for a bit, trying their best not to think of the scorching sun outside.

"Ziry iksos iā gevie den...othok umbagon issa daor harev tha. Harāth. Adelan o ivestragon se hama, tezo Nevae ono othok kav soliz tha. Ukairth iorwe issa."

"Yare, Āeksio salen." The two creatures responded.

Enek dissappeared without saying a word, leaving but a trail of black smoke where he once stood. His disdain for this foreign land was more than obvious. Rebonna felt the same. She had to stay here though. Just for a bit longer. But she couldn't force her shadows to do the same. It wouldn't be fair to them.

While the Master of Shadows was getting lost in her own thoughts, her loyal servant had allowed himself to turn and face the young prince that was following them. Their eyes met. He could sense it. The jealousy, the possessiveness, the questions, the distrust, the slight hints of anger. All bubbling inside.

"Othok io vesnābi havve, morgon salen. Tanaka vesnābi." He said while still looking at the silver haired stranger. "Sen daor keskidossa linta,  zāh se tolie kessa. Enok ov latruum."

"Othok ukasire tha eron?" The lady let out another laugh "...Thamar pendagon ēma ukam, nek-akh vallo. Sem harāth, kav daor ez onast fuihiniv."

"We'll see you soon, friend." Beliz was gone as well. Rebonna kept pushing forward, she was almost out of the Red Keep and into the godswoods.

Not long after she reached the Weirwood. So many years had passed. She couldn't help but feel like they were still watching. She stood still, watching as the wind raced between the red leaves.

"Do you remember the last time I saw one of your...?" She trailed off. "My Prince."

"My lady." Aemond cleared his throat, his fingers fidgeting.

"I haven't seen you since the feast."

He took another step towards her. All he wanted to do was take her in his arms. Be able to touch her. Just like those strangers had.

He was drawn to her, like a moth is to a flame. Everything in his being screamed, pleaded for him not to do it. It was unnatural. One side of him found it odd how close he felt to her, to someone he'd only seen once in his whole life. The other side of him couldn't care less. All he wanted was her. All he wanted was to make her laugh like she did at that feast. Like she did with those two mysterious strangers. He needed to hear all the stories she had to tell- of the foreign land she came from, of her past, of the strange tongue she spoke in. Of those strange creautures that had the ability to dissappear into thin air.

"For which I am filled with more sorrow than you could ever imagine, my lady. There were matters in need of attending to."

In reality, the silver haired prince had tried to avoid her as much as possible after the conversation he had with his mother, the Queen. She was right. He knew nothing of her. Of her people. He had to be careful.

The prince tried to find as much information on the Asshai'i before he had to face her again. But the Westerosi rarely ventured that far east. And when they did, they almost never made it back. The Shadows either swallowed them or drove them to insanity.

If he had to be honest, he was scared. All these unfamiliar emotions made him feel overwhelmed. She was a stranger. Not to be trusted. Yet.

Even so, Aemond felt shame tug at his heart. He should have been spending more time with his betrothed. Damned be the council meetings, the training sessions with Cole, his studies and all his other excuses. He should be with her. Maybe he would've found some answers by now, had he not tried to hide from her like a scared little boy...

"I... You are to be my wife. I should be spending more time with you. I apologize. "

"No need, my prince." She finally turned to look at him, the prince freezing in place. "And I beg of you, adress me by my name."

"Only if you'd do me the honor first, my-"

She was looking at him, one eyebrow raised and a mischievous grin lighting up her face. The void her eyes were fixed on him.

"-Rebonna." The prince corrected himself.

"Yours."

His heart felt like it was about to explode into million tiny pieces any second now. His. His.

"Care to take a walk with me?" Rebonna asked, her eyes searching his.

The man's arm shot up so fast, it didn't even register to him he had moved.

"Let's go then." Soft giggle made it's way out past her lips, her hand finding it's way around his, just like it did the night of the feast.

Lady Vessard did not expect for it to be so easy to get the gorgeous prince to open up to her. From what she'd heard about him, he was an ill-tempered, stubborn and distant. With her, he was dashing, thoughtful and eager to tell her as much about himself as he could. Of course, Aemond made sure to leave out the unpleasant memories. There was more than enough time for that, his betrothed was not worried. If she could trick him into telling her that much with only having met once prior to this leisurely stroll, she'd be getting everything she needed out of him in no time.

The short walk in the gardens had turned into a whole tour around the Red Keep. The prince couldn't stop talking. He told her the story of how he'd claimed his dragon,Vhagar, and the excitement of getting to ride her for the first time. As a student of history, the mention of Vhagar led to him telling her of all the dragons that came before her. Like Balerion the Black Dread, his father's dragon. The only memory that was left of Old Valyria, his skull now decorating the rat-infested dungeons. Then came the topic of Valyria itself. Rebonna listened to him w half a ear. Unlike the young Targaryen, she'd had the pleasure of seeing the city at it's strongest. She didn't need to hear tales of it, especially from someone like him.

Prince Aemond was baring himself to her without even realizing it. It was the simplest of things that made him most vulnerable to her power. The feeling of her gentle hand around his forearm was enough to keep the satisfied smirk on his face and any rational thought out of his head. He was doing all the work for her. So easy.

He didn't notice she'd completely stopped listening to him at first. Her eyes were going over every crack and crevice of the Red Keep, never stopping at one place for too long, never blinking. As if she was afraid she'd miss something.

"Rebonna?"

Her hand had dropped back to her side. Aemond was standing in front of her now, searching her face.

"Hm?"

"Am I boring you?" A wave of sadness and insecurity, then one of confusion flashed across his face in the matter of a split second second.

"Oh Aemond, never! I have simply had a tiring day. I have yet to get used to everything around here. It's a bit..."

"Overwhelming?" He finished her thought for her.

She nodded, gripping his arm once again, just a bit stronger this time. Aemond's face flashed red. She caught him staring at her as they walked, mind blank.

"You must be tired, Rebonna, I apologize..."

"Do you do this often, my prince?"

"What exactly, my lady?"

"Apologizing when you're not at fault" the woman laughed.

She had him backed into a corner. She could see the gears turning in his head, he was about to offer her another apology.

"Oh...I apolo-"

"Brother! Seven Hells, I've been looking for you for hours now! Ah, Lady Vessard! It's so good to see you again!"

The sweet, shy boy in front of her dissappeared in the blink of an eye.

"What is it that you want?" His voice had dropped, eye darting from the woman that was still clinging to him and his brother. If it weren't for her, he would have ripped Aegon's head off with his bare hands.

"Our presence has been requested at the small council meeting." Aegon winked at his brother. "Come now, I'm sure lady Vessard has had enough of you talking her ear off and all that... My lady!"

Prince Aegon grabbed his brother by the sleeve and tried to pull him forward, but Aemond wouldn't budge. His attention had gone back to his wife-to-be, crystal blue eye silently pleading.

"My lady, would you do me the honor of dining with me this evening?"

"Of course, my prince. It'd be my pleasure." She let go of his arm with a sweet smile. Aemond felt sick at the loss of contact. "I'll see you later this evening then?"

He simply nodded. The prince couldn't trust his voice in this moment.

"That would be lovely!"

Aemond nodded again.

"Prince Aemond, Prince Aegon."

The two men were left there to stare at her as she turned the corner and dissappeared into the depths of the Red Keep.

"Told you she won't bite. You should've asked her long ago, instead of sulking and hiding from her"

"One more word..."

"Fine, fine..."

The entire time the two brothers spent walking towards the small council chamber, the younger prince could think of only two things. The feeling of his betrothed wrapped around his arm and what he meant to ask her after he followed her into the godswoods. But he couldn't remember.

*Translation of the Asshai'i down below*

R: My Shadows of Darkness.

B,E: Master.

R: Have you got anything for me?

R: ...Well?

B: Master, there's no trace of them... We found nothing.

R: It's all right, my shadows. I did not expect them to show their faces this soon.

E: Master... Someone is here.

R: I know exactly who it is. As do you, my shadows. We share the same eyes.

E: Should we...?

R: No need, Enek. If it were to come to this, I would deal with him myself. Keep walking.

E: As you wish, Master.

R: It's a beautiful day, you shouldn't stay here because of me...Go. Get back home and tell the Dark Ones what you told me. It's their move.

B,E: Yes, Master.

B: You're playing a dangerous game, old friend. Extremely dangerous. He may not be able to see through,but the others will...Sooner or later.

R: You think I don't know that...? We'll deal with them accordingly, need be. Now go, do not leave the others waiting.

[yumbees]

NEW SERIES PREMIERS

Telling their pronouns!

Abuela: *death stare* "take a guess". (she respects all pronouns she just doesn't understand why anyone would ask her)

Felix: "He him!" but you can hear the smile

Julieta: "She. Did you eat enough for lunch? You look hungry."

Pepa: "She. Why? Is something wrong?" Clouds form. she's suspicious.

Bruno: "I live with rats."

Agustin: "He/him" but he pronounces the slash

Isabela: "Gorgeous. But she."

Dolores: "The question isn't mine, it's yours. There's something you haven't told anyone yet but your parents will be supportive I promise"

Luisa: "she her" but it's so weird cause every time she says that she sneezes and everyone is so confused but really it just happened the first two times and she thought it was so funny she fakes it now

Camilo: *laughs really hard for a really long time*

Mirabel: "She and they. What's your hip size?" She's making you a dress

Antonio: "He. Ask me again in ten years."

To seeing the mona lisa

Abuela: "Beautiful." she buys a poster of it from the gift shop

Felix: "I don't see the appeal" takes a face swap selfie with it

Julieta: "Where are the statues?"

Pepa: "She seems like she needs a nap." *yawn*

Bruno: can't even see it cause he's too short and also the rats are misbehaving

Agustin: Makes that one face from that scene

Isabela: "I'm still prettier" *hair toss*

Dolores: She's not paying attention she's listening to the many gossipy convos around her

Luisa: takes a picture and covers it with emotes and stickers and puts it on instagram

Camilo: pretends to eat it

Mirabel: gets kicked out cause camilo was pretending to be her while pretending to eat it

Antonio: well behaved and respectful. the museum people were too scared to not let the leopard come in too but he's behaving as well

What were you hoping your gift would be?

Abuela: "My children"

Felix: "I've always wanted to dunk a basketball."

Julieta: "We didn't have any idea what was coming."

Pepa: "I just wanted to make the door glow."

Bruno: "Literally anything but this"

Agustin: *covered in bee stings* "I'm just glad Julieta has what she has."

Isabela: "I was happy when I got mine but I've always been jealous of Luisa's"

Dolores: "I didn't know what was happening, I thought i was gonna get flowers too..."

Luisa: "I really wanted to fly"

Camilo: "I'd have liked anything that let me perform. Luisa's or Isa's or Mama's... all good."

Mirabel: "I fully expected something with light. Like moving light or making light or glowing."

Antonio: *very very small shy voice* "I didn't think I would get one. I just didn't want Abuela to be mad at me."

As Vines

Abuela: "I'm sixteen. I'm a grandmutha"

Felix: "I love you bitch. i ain't neva gonna stop lovin you. bitch."

Julieta: "i'm just cooking pizza" BANG

Pepa: "Bats. It's frickin bats. I love halloween"

Bruno: the one where big bird kicks down the door

Agustin: The i'm just cooking pizza one bit hes the one that gets hit

Isabela: any vine with an elmo in it

Dolores: "I DONT GET NO SLEEP CAUSE OF YALL. YALL NEVER GONNA SLEEP CAUSE OF ME"

Luisa: "i love myself. Even though i look like a burnt chicken nugget, i still love myself."

Camilo: "STOP SAYING I LOOK LIKE CHICKEN LITTLE. HES DUMB, AND HES A COWARD. AND I AM NOT A COWARD."

Mirabel: "Road work ahead? Uh, yeah, I sure hope it does."

Antonio: "It's an avacado! Thanks."

[itshoneys]

——laughter fell from her lips when her bestie flipped her off; which surely helped lighten her mood a little as she was about to delve into the latest endeavors of her personal life. “no, I didn’t,” she began, gently shaking her head. “I mean, I wanted to but she stopped me,” she responded in a matter-of-fact tone. she doesn’t know if it would have been better if she had just run, pretended this was nothing instead and so she wouldn’t be in this position now. she groaned, leaning her head back against the headrest of the armchair, blinking at the ceiling. “but I already did, Neva!” she pointed out; she has already compromised their friendship even she said that she wouldn’t, promised to herself that she would not act out on this crush for fear of repeating the same mistake twice ( and losing Karmen altogether from her life as a result ). “after she stopped me, we talked about other things for a while….” she recalled, shifting in her place to better face the blonde. listening to her best friend speaks, her brow furrowed at the thought; she had not thought of that possibility at all, if she was being frank. she had been drinking, but she wasn’t drunk; she knew exactly what she was doing. “wait…you think, maybe this was why she did not even mention it?” well, she did say they didn’t have to talk about it when she stopped her, but still. “well…I am…” sighing, Honey met Neva’s grey-blue eyes, holding her gaze. “I kinda ran into an ex after that had happened and realized I might still have feelings for them…” she confessed; she had no intention to hide anything from Neva anyway, she trusts her completely, even if she is going to be a little tough with her, she knows that she has her best interest at heart. and right now she wants to talk to her about this, everything, to get an opinion that will help her with the situation she is in. “…but that is a thing of the past, too.”

⸻ 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐀 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐃 her middle finger playfully when her bestie stuck out her tongue for her, laughing at her words. The Swedish blonde nodded as if she was incentivizing her to talk and have a glimpse of her story. ❛ Karmen… Yes. Go on. ❜ Small world, she does know who is the other woman, it had been a while since she saw her. Neva is not going anywhere lately for obvious reasons… It wasn't like she could hang out with people. Her pupils widened a little in surprise as her mesmerizing grey-blush hues locked into hers. ❛ Ohhh, yay?! ❜ There is a hint of hesitation on the 'yay' word. Then her ghost smile vanished upon the rest of the story. ❛ Did she like it? Or did you just run? ❜ She inquired curiously, and Neva rested a hand on her bump, trying to analyze the situation. ❛ So, you kissed her and then she stopped you… And then… You left? That's the end of it? Do not commit the same mistake twice. Did you talk after that or it is just 'weird?' ❜ As a natural overthinker, she was trying to imagine this scenario from a different point of view. ❛ Maybe she stopped you because she may thought you were drunk, and only wanted her drunk… You said it was like an after-party or some shit when you visit her right? ❜ Besides, Neva was her partner before the pregnancy before hitting up clubs with her and leaving drunk. ❛ Don't worry, Honey. I'm sure we can find a way for you not to press the same button again… Is there any other problem after that or? Remember tell me all the details, or I can't help you.❜ To be fair, she didn't think she was good at romantic pieces of advice. Ryan happens to be her soulmate, and besides if Ryan wasn't in her life, she probably would suck in flirt, etc…

[caspercryptid]

coffee shop au but it's still mafia. like the coffee shops are fronts. but the actual goncharov cast are just workers on the cafe side (2 rival cafes ofc, sofia runs the other).

Alright. Hi. Hello. I didn't get to sofia but feel free to send a follow up ask if you want the wlw.

my tip button's on, ko-fi in bio, help keep a disabled writer alive and kicking and writing, and i'd just like to say in advance. That my prose is not normally this purple. I blame goncharov.

also if you get to the end of this and go. Is he just giving Andrey the kubric stare while his internal monologue is going? yes. Yes he is.

___

Goncharov had been accused, on occasion, of overthinking. 

Usually by Katya, when she was in one of her moods, the sort of moods that left deliberately round little cigarette burns on the tables, the couches, his suits. They were perfect, lacking the carelessness of bullet holes, her cigarette at a 90 degree angle with the fabric as she looked him directly in the eyes and said Котёнок, you think too much. You write entire worlds into simple little gestures. Not everything means everything. He hadn’t looked her in the eyes, had instead looked at the cigarette burn, forcing her to look at it too, and she’d sighed, muttered something apologetic about the old frost burn nerve damage in her fingers. He didn’t believe it for a minute. Her trigger finger was perfect, and so was her aim. Always had been, whether it was with a gun or a cruel word. 

So perhaps it was only a cup of coffee.

Perhaps Andrey only wanted a cup of coffee, only happened to be here on the shift Goncharov had taken to make himself appear as the friendly manager of the coffee bar. That, and the boy he’d hired to do this job had met with an unfortunate accident. That had happened several times now. Frankly, that was business. He didn’t spare it too much thought. People in his proximity tended to die one way or the other, either by his hand or otherwise. Death followed him like an old friend, like an old enemy, like Andrey always had. Perhaps he’d come to see Andrey as the death of him, following him. Perhaps that’s why they’d grown so friendly, lately. 

Well, perhaps not too friendly. Andrey had tried to stab him last week. But wasn’t that just the way of it, now? They needed to keep up the pretense. Enemies they had always been, and enemies they would remain, even if Andrey understood him like no one else did, both stranded in this strange place, too hot, too balmy, too far from home. It felt strange to long for the kiss of the cold, the one that left him so breathless he thought he’d fall into the water of the Neva and finally sleep, the empty dreamless sleep of a man who’s had the last of the ecstasy wrung from him, a life well lived and well past time to end. 

Ah, he was doing it again, wasn’t he.

He looks up at Andrey, who is still standing on the other side of the counter, a somewhat patronizingly patient expression on his face. He is not entirely sure how long he has been standing there. There is a script here, the nature of which Goncharov is unused to, though he is used to scripts. Has his life not been a script? Has he not played his role, and played it well? A loyal son to the end, a loving husband. He would have been a father too, had Katya permitted. Perhaps she was right. Perhaps they did not have the kind of love that allowed it. Perhaps this was no place for a child, this strange country, these strangers. He can hear the clocks ticking. 

But no, that’s the foot of a man in line behind Andrey, who is still waiting, still patient. Always patient. 

“--What will it be?” he asks, adds a halfhearted, “-sir.”

Formality. As though they are strangers. As though they were ever strangers.

Andrey lifts an eyebrow, like he finds the honorific curious, but that’s the only acknowledgement he gives it. 

“Cappuccino.” he says, his voice dark and rich as the coffee. 

“Right away, sir.” Goncharov says, savoring a bit, this pretended distance that allows two men bound in moral combat to stand within arms reach of each other without violence. He could close his hands around Andrey’s neck from this distance. He could touch his face. He won’t, of course. Why would he do that. What purpose would it serve.

He starts the machine. 

The stream of steam reminds him of the train leaving the platform, the last time he left home. It had been so cold. It’s strange to see it in a hot country, like his breath in the wind, like the steam on the windows the last time he and Katya had been entangled, in a car, on the side of the road. He blinks that away, feeling strangely guilty for thinking about Katya now. The steam is gone, much like the breath of warmth from his marriage. How long has it been since she reached for him like that? Does she reach for Sofia now? Or for no one at all. He wonders if she’s lonely. How strange it is, to be lonely in the same bed as someone else, to look into their eyes and see only yourself. The coffee grows cold in his hand, like katya’s hand in his, and then there’s a warm hand on his shoulder.

“Goncharov.” Andrey says. “Please give me the cappuccino and stop staring at it.”

Ah, he’d done it again. 

He’s momentarily annoyed at Andrey for breaking the farce, the impersonal fantasy, but remembers a moment later that he’s wearing a tag with his name on it. Ah, they are still here. Still playing the game. Aside from the warm touch of his hand. On his shoulder, not his neck. Why was his touch so gentle? It would be easier to bear his hands on his neck than the touch to the shoulder. And then Andrey’s hands are on his, confounding him as he removes the coffee from his hands, drawing it away.

"thank you." He says, and leaves, without paying.

[crystal-moon-101]

Since I saw people talking about Ben's little big chill kids, I thought I'd finally do some headshots of my ones, who are also a part of my Ben 10 Next Gen. For me, I've always imagined that for young necrofriggians, they all start out looking the same (Beyond some size difference), but as they grow older, they'll start to develop their own patterns, small body traits and shades of colour, as showcased here. I'll share the little info on each sibling, and the basics of who they are as a person. When Ben first found them again, saving them from poachers and going full mum mode, they had been developing these different psychical traits, but not enough to identify each properly on their own, so while giving them names, Gwen used bandana pieces to colour code them, and each kid still wears theirs to this day, slightly modified. So here they are now, as full grown young adults. You can follow from left to right each row, or just the colours next to their names. -North (Black)- The largest and physically strongest of the kids, North acts as the leading member when Ben isn't around, doing their best to watch out for their siblings and be a middle ground to them. It's been this way since they were born, looking out for them and doing whatever they can to protect the others. This has resulted in North collecting quite a few scars and wing tears, though they wear them with pride, wanting to display how strong they are to others. They often looks up to Ben when it comes to being a hero, in how their mumdad protects others and the galaxy, and wants to be a fighter like him one day, often asking to train with their mumdad whenever he's around. Ben has suggested Plumber training for North, but they're still thinking about that. -Tundra (Red)- Tundra is a very curious one, and is known to wander off when things catch their interest. They prefer using experience to learn from, thus making them quick on their feet when something happens, and good at thinking logical. When the siblings are struggling with something, or come across some kind of problem, it's often Tundra who provides the quickest answers that should go well for them. That being said, due to their wandering, they gave gotten into trouble a few times and need to be saved by their siblings or Ben, as despite how smart they are, they can be a bit of a ditz when something catches their interest. -Grey (Silver)- Having a connection to the earth bellow, Grey often spends their time searching caves, and any hidden areas they can find. They especially love to research and find minerals of any kind, ranging from metals to gems, sometimes even studying their metal lunch for the day before eating it. Because of this, they can be carelessly dirty, and aren't the cleanest of people, but does pick up after themself when reminded. Grey is also pretty close with their sibling Storm, and surprising Gwen and Ben when first hearing the two call each other "Dweeb" and "Doofas", when first meeting them again. -Storm (Brown)- As someone who likes to spend a lot of time flying and high in the clouds, Storm is fascinated by the weather and how it behaves, and feeling the cold fresh air and challenging themself with flight training. This has provided them to have the most agility in the air, and knows the best ways to build up speeds, while also not draining themself. Whenever they aren't flying around, they're doing research on the weather, very keen to be a meteorologist one day. Whenever Ben visits, they will often ask him about the weather on other planets, and any adventures he's had in the sky. Storm is also pretty close with their sibling Grey, and surprising Gwen and Ben when first hearing the two call each other "Dweeb" and "Doofas", when first meeting them again. -Crystal (Blue)- Graceful on their feet, Crystal is a charming and gentle person, with a keenness for the art of dancing, especially when hovering in the air. This was something sparked in them when seeing how the patches in their wings, which are see through, glittered and reflected light through them, making Crystal often move around to see what they could get them to do, and the introduction of dancing was something they latched onto as a result. They are one of the hardest of the siblings to get angry, upset or rile up, and often goes with the flow and speaks in a slow and soft voice. Because of their kind nature and beautiful display of their wings, Crystal has attracted many others who are interested in them, many falling for them after meeting Crystal for a mere minute, though they tend to pretend not to notice, and turn down those who ask. -Orion (Orange)- Having an eye for art, Orion is a skilled painter and drawer, while also dabbling into other art forms to create things, their room filled with their works of art, and often creating gifts for others. From when they were little, Orion has always admired their auntie Gwen, and are always keen and eager to hang out with her when she visits, showing every new drawing and painting they have made while she was away. In fact their fondness for auntie Gwen is why they picked the orange bandana, as it reminded them of her hair. -Neva (Green)- Fashion focused and head strong, Neva is a keen one, who knows exactly what they like and isn't afraid to say it. They love designing things to wear, especially since fashion isn't that big on Kylmyys, and Ben brings them fabrics and items they request from earth whenever he comes by on a visit. Though, despite Neva's expensive tastes, they are most certainly aren't a snob, and more often than not create outfits and accessories for others that Neva knows they'd like, and wants to bring out the best beauty in them. Though admittedly, they can get a bit carried away if someone asks for fashion advice, or even brings up the idea of something related to it. Neva also a bit of a business mind too, having gotten some clients recently on their homeworld after seeing what Neva could make. -Raine (Aqua)- A very sweet young one, Raine has a keen eye for collecting things, particularly shiny or unknown stuff. From gemstones to simple earth utensil, if something interests them, Raine is known to take it with them, sometimes snatching without thinking. They don't mean any harm, and just sometimes think before acting, and will give something back if they've realized what they've done, but if it's clear they can keep it, then they aren't one to share, though do like to show off what they have with joy. They are also very well organized, knowing where everything they own is, and even when their siblings misplace something, having a photography memory and mental list of things. They may own a lot of stuff, but that doesn't mean they want to live in a pigsty. -Vale (Yellow)- Being one of the quiet ones, Vale likes to keep a lot to themself, and don't speak very often, only when they need to. They spend a lot of time outside, observing nature as it passes by them, using a little diary to note down what they see, hear, feel, smell and even taste. They like to appreciate silence and the world around them, and the beauty of nature, and collect little things to store away in their diary as memory. Whenever they visit earth, they love to visit the forests in the spring and summer, seeing the range of colours blooming from flowers, and has many flower prints because of this. -Lux (Beige)- Quite the basic of people, Lux likes to live life in a simple way, and tends to try and stare clear of any chaos, which is quite hard when you have 13 wild siblings. Because of them, they can come across as annoyed and frustrated at times, and can be blunt and honest, but they do love their siblings, and is often the one that says what's needed to be said. Lux also have massive wings compared to their body, a ratio none of the others have, and use to trip over their feet a lot growing up. Now, their massive wings are a great way to hide away when they're not in the mood to talk to read a book, or to hug a family member when seeing them down. -Micha (Pink)- Bubbly and sneaky, Micha has been dubbed the "Pink Ninja" for a reason, someone almost always able to hide away and sneak up on others. They love to jump scare people, and has found more and more crafty ways to get around without being noticed, even without their ability to go invisible. They love to pull jokes and get a laugh out of people, and Micha is known to have a snort with their own laughter. It's always their mission to catch Ben off guard when he visits, as each time it gets trickier due to him knowing it's coming, and his training and skills build up over the years, but Micha always finds a way in the end. -Zodiac (Gold)- Patient and often neutral toned, Zodiac is often seen to be pretty wise. From a young age, they've always loved stories from history, especially those about myths and legends they hear from around the galaxy, and spend a lot of their time reading and researching anything they hear about, always keen to hear a new story they may have never heard about before. It always fascinates them how much Ben has seen and done, and the stories he tells, Zodiac is practically fond of those about Alien X and Celestialsapians, and wants to meet one one day. -Alaska (White)- High on energy 99% of the time, Alaska is always zooming around and never has time to stop. They rarely sit still for long, and it takes a lot to drain them of their endless energy, always moving in a blink of an eye. Because of this, Alaska is the fastest of the crew, which has come in handy often. But they can be easily bored, and a little frustrating to deal with when they don't pay attention, but they do like to spend that energy by jumping around each sibling to spend the day with, and wants to engage in all of their activities to support them. -Arlo (Purple- The smallest of them, Arlo was born the runt of the group, but thanks to their siblings, especially North, they managed to survive childhood when most other necrofriggian runts would have died. This makes Arlo the baby of the group, and the one they all want to protect, even if it can be a little baring at much, wanting to prove they can be strong on their own. And Arlo somewhat got their wish, when reaching a certain age and Ben learning that one of his children had the spark, thus meaning Arlo is an Anodite, and is able to use magic, though they're far from being perfect at it, and their small body sometimes struggles to keep up. But each day Arlo practices, wanting to feel more than just the tiny one, but they are generally kind and great with emotions, being very supportive and just trying their hardest.

[sylvain-writes]

Cold Pizza (Raphael x Gender Neutral Reader)

Rated: T Gender Neutral Reader, power outage, banter, light angst and fluff, mutual pining, friends to lovers, Raph can cook <5k words

*

Snow falls gently upon the city outside your window, and it should be calm. You should want to listen to soft jazz or something. You should be sipping tea and enjoying the sight. But instead you're stifling a laugh at the sound of Raphael swearing behind you as he stubs his toe in the dark.

"Shit. Why the hell is that in the middle of the floor?"

"It's a coffee table, Raph. It's in front of the couch same as always." You haven't redecorated the apartment in months, but it's only Raph's second visit. You can't really blame him for not knowing the layout of the place by heart. But he's a ninja, isn't he? Shouldn't he be better at finding his way through the shadows?

The table scrapes against the hardwood floor as he drags it back into place and you snicker into the sleeve of your long-sleeve tee. The building only lost power ten minutes ago but your hands are already getting cold.

The crinkle of the last bag of potato chips gets louder as Raphael comes up behind you. "Don woulda neva let this happen."

"Really?" You huff. "Donatello wouldn't have let the blizzard get so bad that it took down the power lines?"

"Well, he woulda made sure the generator was workin', but no. That's not what I'm talkin' about." He crunched and munched in your ear.

As payback for the purposefully annoying chew, you snagged a chip out of his hand and gnashed your teeth over it hard. Crumbs fell to the ground and he snarled, shaking his head.

"You heathen. This is the last of the food! Your cupboards are bare."

"My cupboards? Ok, grandma..." You don't hide your snicker this time. "There's canned soup and, like, other stuff in the pantry, dude. Don't get your panties in a twist."

"We can't turn on the stove if there's no power, genius."

"It's a gas oven, genius."

"I don't know what difference that makes, Einstein."

"It means all I need is a lighter and I can ignite the gas, Einstein."

"Well, you don't smoke, Edison."

"Valid. But I do have a lighter. It's in a drawer somewhere."

It does take another ten minutes to actually find the lighter, in your nightstand, having been tossed there after you used it to light some candles in your room forever ago. And even after you find it, you set a pot of water to boil only to have Raphael complain that he can't find the pasta you were sure was in the pantry.

"Well, what is in there?" you ask as you light a few more candles around the kitchen.

Raphael places a jar of tomato sauce on the counter, but his tone remains unimpressed. "Flour and shit."

"That's fucking gross."

"You know what I mean." Raphael opened the cabinet door wide. "Flour, sugar, salt... I don't know. Like, a thousand different jars of seasonings you've probably never used ever."

"How do you know I've never used them?"

"Probably because they've all got their plastic seals on?"

"Right. I don't really cook that much."

Raphael gestures to the otherwise empty shelves. "I'm shocked."

"Well..." You pass the jar of tomato sauce you were going to use for the pasta you actually don't have from one hand to the other as you think. "There's gotta be something. Grab the cereal, at least."

The Honey Nut Cheerios barely have a bowl left. It's hard to ignore it when Raphael's stomach growls.

"Ok, ok. Maybe we should order take out?" But as you form the question, you notice something more than hunger and frustration in the way Raphael wraps his arms around himself. "You feeling alright?"

"Sure." Raphael shrugs, and though you have to squint in the evening's fading light, you think he looks a little paler than usual.

"Raph?"

He's the master of compartmentalizing and hiding his feelings -- until they bubble over into a fiery mess -- but he's utter crap at suppressing the shiver that runs through his arms while you're staring.

"Dude… you're sick or something."

"I'm not," Raph says, relaxing his arms from around his body to his sides, but his shoulders remain tense. His arms stay tucked tight against his sides. "I'm fine. There's nothin' to say. We're stuck here. Right?"

"Call Donnie."

"He can't… he can't come out in this weather."

"The weather?" The winds had died down. And yeah, the drifts were pretty high in some parts of the city, but it was dark enough that- "Are you too cold?"

Raphael shrugs.

You move closer to him, reaching out, and his arm under your hand feels cold to the touch. "Raph…"

He leans into your touch a second longer than he wants to, chasing the heat as you pull your hand away. You're close friends, but you don't go around holding onto each other or anything. The way he chases the warmth of your hand, the small needy sound in his throat, breaks you inside.

"It’s why we got generators at the lair. They mostly run on street power Donnie got hooked up, but… don't do so well in the cold, y'know?"

"Shit. I'm sorry." You turn on another burner and fill another pot of water. "Can you, uh, get in touch with D? I know there's a way to get the oven going but I, er, don't wanna blow up the apartment in the process."

Raph nods and you notice another shiver. He hunches in on himself as he thumbs out a text to his brother.

While he's occupied, you rush over to the living room and grab a blanket from the couch. You're not sure he wants to admit just how cold he is, so you don't wrap it around his shoulders yourself, but you place it on the counter with purpose and head into the bedroom to find a heavier sweater for yourself. And some socks. You definitely need to double up your socks. And shit, maybe you should offer Raph some socks too.

But what the hell socks do you have that'll fit him?

You grab the comforter from your bed and hug a pair of pillows to your chest. The way to the livingroom causes you to stumble and you know you're not looking the cutest you've ever looked when you crash into the couch with your load, but you manage to grunt like a buffoon when you bounce off the couch cushions and land hard on the floor.

"Graceful." Raphael says from the kitchen counter. He saunters over, wrapped up in the blanket, wearing it like a shawl and looking ever so much like a reptilian version of the big bad wolf pretending to be grandma.

"My, what big eyes you have." You kid, and you smirk, but color blooms high on Raphs cheeks and you watch him duck his head just a bit as he tries not to break your gaze.

"They um… they're the same as always , y'know?"

From there on the floor, you look up at him and wonder when he became so shy. He's been your best friend for ages. He's muscles and bravado. He's a ninja skill set and a heart of gold. He's fire and sugar and the kind of spicy that'll catch you on fire if you stay too close, but you always want to be close to him and you know one day you're going to get burned. It's why you don't touch. It's why you point to the blankets and pillows on the couch and you back away from the pile so he can get them himself.

You know if you get too close. If you let yourself linger near him, you'll stay too long. You'll get burned. What's between you simmers when you keep your distance. That's good. That's better. You don't want him to push you away, so it's better to keep some distance. He hasn't pulled you closer, so you think you're doing the right thing. If you were reading this wrong, there would have been some clue. Someone would have said something. Raph would have said something. He's not one to mince words about what he wants.

He's very much the guy who tells you what he wants when he wants it.

"Don says we can light the pilot and have the gas oven heat the room, but you're gonna have to do it because my hands are too big."

"Know what they say about a man with big hands?"

Raphael crosses his arms over his chest, unamused. "Woulda lit the damn thing myself if my hands were smaller so it don't really matter what people say about big hands. At the moment these big hands are useless."

"Geez, Raph," you scoot around him to get at the oven. "You're not useless. Chrissake."

The oven lights and you crank it up to 500°F. "We can leave the door open a crack and let it warm the room."

"Or we can make pizza."

"Sure. Yeah." You say, dripping with sarcasm. "We could totally learn how to make pizza in the dark with no electricity or ingredients."

"We don't got no ingredients." Exasperated, Raphael throws off the blanket and gestures toward the pantry. "You got spices. Sauce. Flour."

"What about cheese?" Your hands are on your hips and your toe is tapping because you just know he's going to come after your snacks.

"I saw like 7000 Polly-O string cheese things in your crisper drawer-"

"Don't touch my string cheese!" He wouldn't dare.

"We can grate it down for-"

"You monster!"

Raphael is more snarl than laugh when he crows, "You're being ridiculous! I'm making pizza. Are you in?" His gaze narrows and you think he may be serious about tossing you out of the kitchen. "Or are you just in my way?"

As it's the only warm room in the apartment, you're ready to make all the sacrifices necessary to keep your ass in the kitchen.

Raphael and his big hands leave you at a loss as he uses his thick fingers to ever so delicately arrange his phone against the tomato sauce jar. “Sit still ya lil fucker.” With each adjustment he makes, the phone slides down the counter, unwilling to stand in place so that he can read the recipe without getting his phone dirty with sticky doughy hands.

You shouldn’t just stand there watching with a grin, but you really can’t help it. It’s adorable. You really think you may be falling in love with him just watching the way he shifts the phone inch by inch. Then when he finally has the phone in place, he throws his hands up in the air, victory writ large upon his features. His smile is open and wide and it’s such a stark contrast to see him now, his body flooded with joy and warmth as opposed to when he was near frozen, that you can’t help but smile back. You’re a little thrown by just how charming that smile can be. You lock eyes and get stuck. He’s so handsome. He’s so true to himself. He’s just real and raw and he doesn’t care that this is only a tiny victory of some phone vs man vs counter slip ridiculousness. He’s excited and he lets you join him in this celebration because it’s fun and it doesn’t have to mean anything more than fun.

You shake your head as you grab the flour from the pantry and place it on the counter. “One small step for a man, one giant leap toward making a pizza. We actually need to get some ingredients in a bowl, methinks.”

Raphael takes the flour and tears the never opened bag open from the top. He’s obviously never done it before. Flour ends up everywhere and you don’t even bother to tell him that he could have easily unfolded the flour bag and made far less mess.

As you watch his flour dusted face reemerge from the plume of flour, you’re actually glad you didn’t mention it. Or else you wouldn’t have had the chance to see him look so surprised. To surprise a ninja, now that had to be some kind of feat.

Raphael’s green eyes blink at you, stark contrast green from the white floured face around them. His mask is caked in the stuff. You laugh as you reach forward. “May I?”

He hasn’t really said yes, but he’s spoken no objection either, so you slide the mask over his head and dust it off before laying it on the counter.

Seeing him without his mask is always a pleasure. One of the small pleasures you don’t mention out loud. Like standing too close, it runs the risk of being burned. Something Raphael could take away if you make too big a deal of it. So, you try not to stare, while simultaneously trying to memorize every bump and slope of his features.

“You’re a real mess,” you say, wiping Raph’s cheek with a clean hand. “How much of this flour are we gonna lose before you whip up dinner, huh?”

Raphael has been staring at you. He hasn’t even been paying attention to your words. In fact, he’s not sure you’re speaking. Everything feels like it’s moving in slow motion because your hands are reaching toward him for the second and third time today and that never happens. That never happens and Raph knows for sure because he pays attention to that sort of thing. He notices when you come close because he waits for it. He wishes for it. He clocks each step you take toward him and bites back a pout each time you pull away.

When your hands reach for his mask, he doesn’t know what to say, so he stays still. And you unmask him. And the world doesn’t stop turning, but it sure feels like all of the air has been sucked from the room. But you’re smiling, so he knows nothing bad has happened.

You’re smiling so the world is still spinning.

His mask is in your hands and flour is falling to the floor like weightless raindrops and he can almost make out your laughter past the sound of his own thoughts. There’s nothing Raphael loves more than his time with you. The sound of your voice. The curve of your smile. The barely visible sunburst of silver under the pigment of your iris.

He shouldn’t know about that design. He shouldn’t pay such close attention to your eyes that it would be plastered in his memory. But he has. He does. He watches you when you’re not paying attention. When you’re playing around with his brothers or working at your computer. He watches the light reflect off your eyes. He could map the lines of your irises. And that’s probably weird. He’s no artist. He knows that. He can’t do flowery words or paint a picture. But he has a mind like a steel trap. He remembers everything about you.

So, when you tease him about making dinner, he knows you’re probably thinking about your own lack of culinary experience. You’re worried about screwing things up and probably relieved that Raphael is a little clumsy himself.

Raph uses this to his advantage, to make things a little easier for you. With a kind smile, he points to the cabinets. “I need a mixing bowl and some measuring cups. Oil, salt, and sugar. And yeast. We need yeast.”

“Yeah. OK. Like I have fucking yeast up in this bitch.”

Raphael hums and turns. He’s pretty sure he saw something that looked suspiciously like yeast in the cabinet. And there, on the row with all of the other unused herbs and spices, was a jar of the stuff. “You really suck at this.”

You raise an eyebrow in surprise. “Don’t I know it.” There’s no way to argue around it.

Taking orders from Raphael isn’t a turn on or anything. You’re not getting goosebumps from his praise or hanging on his every word like it’s the air that you breathe. But he’s standing close and the way his breath is warmer than the air around you makes your blood feel like it’s thrumming through your veins a little more quickly tonight than it was just minutes ago.

Standing in front of the open oven is hot work. You don’t know much about dough, but you’ve watched enough Great British Bake Off to know this rise is going to happen fast in the hot kitchen.

“We should close the oven door,” you suggest. “Get the inside temperature right and let the dough do it’s thing before we shape it and sauce it up and stuff.”

“Wow, that’s a lotta we talk. You sure you’re up to the task? Thought you were taking more of a supervisory role, here.”

“I grated the cheese, didn’t I?”

“You made more wine than cheese, sweetheart.”

“Yes, well, it was my favorite snack.”

“It’s sacrifice will be worth it.”

The pizzas only took about ten minutes in the oven before the dough was crispy, the cheese not quite burned, and the sauce was bubbly hot. Raphael moved them onto the bare countertop to cool. “So, we keepin’ the oven on or?”

“Of course we can.” You glance at the oven and then at the pile of blankets and pillows in the living room. “Can’t we?”

“I could ask Don? Seems like the power could be out all night. Not sure we should leave the oven on indefinitely.”

“Well… we’ll figure that out after we eat, I guess.”

Eating was weird. You sat close, sharing the light of a candle to make sure you weren’t dripping sauce all over yourselves. Your elbows nudged each other as you moved and you had to stop yourself from shifting further away each time. It would look suspicious. You weren’t close because you wanted to be, because you desired to be as close to Raphael as physically possible without fear of your feelings being known… you were sitting elbow to elbow with him now because you needed to. He wasn’t going to read anything into it.

“You have sauce on your chin.”

“I what?”

“Sauce,” Raphael said, quieter than you expect from him. Perhaps he worries about shouting in your face. Things do seem louder in the dark. So then why does he sound like he’s whispering?

“Oh. Yeah. The sauce is good, Raph. You, uh, know your way around that spice rack.”

“Nah, I mean…” Raphael shakes his head good naturedly and sighs before lifting his thumb to your chin. He takes your face in his hand as he drags his thumb over your chin, wiping your skin clean with a smooth drag of his thumb.

“Raph?” You suck in a breath and you catch his gaze. He’s squinting at you as you struggle to make sense of his sudden closeness.

When he pulls away, you watch as he wipes his hand on his shorts. “You had sauce. Ya know? It was uh, just there.”

“Oh!” You wipe at the spot Raph has already cleaned, your cheeks and ears growing hot. “I… thanks.”

“Yeah, no prob.” Raphael clears his throat and scratches the back of his neck. He’s still not wearing his mask, so each twitch of his eyes is out in the open. But you wonder if it’s a trick of the light, him looking embarrassed and unsure.

“The blankets and stuff. I was gonna say we should tuck under them. I don’t know about you, but that oven’s been off for a minute and I’m already feeling like-”

“The blankets are good.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Raph says, swallowing hard. “The cold makes me a little tired, you know?”

You shrug. You suppose it makes sense. You feel a little tired yourself. “You could sleep. Do you mind if I share the couch with you? That’s my stuff from my room.”

“No. I mean, yeah. I mean. I don’t mind sharin’. Donatello says humans run hot?”

“Compared to you?” You know you probably shouldn’t joke about something like this when Raphael was vulnerable, but you always joke about everything. To not joke about this feels like it would make things worse, make them mean more, give the vulnerability more weight than if you treat it the same as everything else. “Yeah. I guess. We’re warm-blooded.” It feels weird to refer to humans as we and the turtles as they. You rarely think of yourself as different from them. You haven’t thought of them as other than the guys for so long. “It’s um…”

“Yeah, so, like sharing would be fine. It’s cool.”

“You wanna use my body, Raph? That what this is about? You tryin’ to steal my heat? My human fire?”

“Are you kidding?”

“About mi fuego humano?”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Baby you can light my fire.”

“I don’t even know you.”

“You wanna sleep with a stranger! For shame!”

“Don’t slut shame me. I never slut shame you.”

“Yeah ok, sure, dude.”

“What? I don’t.”

“Uh, you crap on every guy I’ve ever been out with.”

“No, I don’t. No I haven’t.”

Suddenly all the joking isn’t fun. Because if Raphael can’t see how hard you’ve tried to get over him. How hard you’ve tried to move past your feelings for him, feelings that he so very clearly does not reciprocate, then you really don’t want to play this game anymore.

You stand up and move to the couch. You won’t deny him your body heat if that’s what he needs, but you don’t think you can carry on this conversation. By the time he gets to the blankets, they’ll be warm, you think. Then maybe you can have a minute to yourself.

Raphael follows you to the living room in quiet contemplation. “I hate the guys you date.”

“Great. They were real winners anyway so, thanks for running them off. Never did stand a chance with them.”

“They weren’t good enough for you.”

“Pfft.” He doesn’t get it. None of them were good enough, yeah. Because every guy you’ve ever talked to, ever listened to talk about their hobbies and dreams and hopes and family, every guy who has ever taken an interest in you, you’ve compared to Raphael. And every one of them has come up short.

“You know how good you are? Like, a good person. Not like 'tries to be good' or 'does the right thing' kinda good…”

“Gee thanks, big guy. I’m blushing.”

Raphael turns to face you on the couch, his back braced against the arm rest and honest to god shoves you with his bare foot. You can’t help but notice his toes are ice cold. “What I’m saying is you’re the 'real' good. A good heart. You do the wrong shit for the right reasons kinda good. You hurt because you care, yet you still care.”

You let Raph ramble because you don’t know what you’d say if you stopped him, if you acknowledge the things that he says. You let Raph ramble and you pull his ice cold foot into your lap under the blankets. You warm it in your hands. Maybe it should be gross. He’s been walking around the apartment since early this afternoon barefoot. But it’s just feet. Just skin. Just flesh and bone and it’s all so cold between your palms.

Raphael scoots down against the armrest, just a little so that his foot is resting comfortably in your lap. He turns away from you to look at an alert on his phone, all the while still talking about how good you were when you tried to help Leo with his attempt to try every flavor of Pringles that you could find at the gas station mini mart. It was a valiant attempt and Leo didn’t want to do it alone. You both ended up with pretty bad indigestion, but it was fun and Raphael had seemed extra happy to see Leo making a friend and being a total idiot with you.

“Donatello says the power should be up and running again sometime tonight. There was an update on the website or something.”

“They give updates on this shit?”

“I guess?”

Your hands move to Raphael’s other foot as you nod. “I don’t really like the guys I date either,” you admit aloud. “It’s not that I set out ready to dump them, it’s just that they don’t interest me. I try to get to know them, I try to let them get to know me. But it goes nowhere. I don’t get that feeling, you know?”

Raphael’s jaw tenses, but he doesn’t answer.

You think maybe he doesn’t know that feeling. Maybe he doesn’t feel romantic attraction the way you do. “Raph, have you ever-”

“I don’t like it.”

You nod, thinking you’ll get more out of him if you stay silent. But when he doesn’t elaborate, you realize you have to say something. “You don’t like…”

“All those guys goin’ out with ya. They don’t know ya. They don’t treat ya the way ya should be treated.”

“Really? How do they treat me?”

“Like… like… They don’t let ya let go. I see ya going off with them and you go quiet or you laugh too loud.”

“I’m too quiet. I’m too loud. Which is it, Raph?”

“You deserve somebody who lets ya have fun. You make jokes and goof off and sometimes yeah it’s cause you’re nervous but mostly it’s cause ya have funny shit goin’ on in ya head and ya wanna let me in on the joke.”

You nod. You really do think you’re the most hilarious person on the fucking planet. It’d be a shame to keep all the good stuff to yourself. Even so, you don’t share your thoughts with just anybody. Raphael is right, it’s him who you want to let in.

“If I took ya out, it’d be like tonight.”

“Oh. Yeah. Yeah.” You say thoughtfully, sarcastically, poking fun and rubbing at your chin not caring a whit that you just had Raphael’s feet in your hands. “Like tonight. You’d cut the power to the city so we could freeze our asses off, then set up a super romantic dinner where we eat by candlelight.”

“We’d be laughing. Teasin. I’d make you dinner and if you want fucking candles I’ll light you a fucking candle.”

“And I’d rub your feet to thank you for making me such a delicious dinner.”

“Yeah. I deserve some pampering.”

“What about me? I don’t deserve to be pampered?”

“I just made you a romantic dinner with candles and all that shit.”

“Hypothetically. Yet here I am, literally rubbing your feet.”

“So what do you want, you want a foot rub for you too? Huh? You want a little shoulder rub cause you worked so hard watching me work my ass off in the kitchen?”

You pinch his ankle surprised he can feel anything when it all feels like rock solid muscle. Instead of answering with words, you give him a wry grin and move around a bit under the blankets. You relax into his chest, lying your head over his heart and settling your body between his and the pillows. “You’re a real smartass.”

Beneath you, Raphael lies still.

“This OK?”

Raph shifts a bit, you feel his hands rise and fall. “I don’t really know what to do with my hands.”

You hum and nod your head against Raphael’s chest. You reach blindly for Raph’s arms, one by one, and wrap them over your back. “Don’t have to do anything.”

Raphael relaxes a little at the news. He ducks his head low and you think you can feel him breathe you in. He rests his cheek on the top of your head before asking, “This that body heat thing?”

You nuzzle his chest, allowing yourself to slip under his arm a bit. Better position for falling asleep. “Yeah,” you say. “Sure.”

Raphael squeezes his arms around you, but he doesn’t say anything. You have to ask or you won’t be sure. Even if it means getting burned. Even if it means you’ve put too much meaning into things and you’re going to be pushed away, you have to know.

“This is more than a body heat thing. For me.” You bury your face in his chest as you wait for his response. At least, for a few seconds longer, you can pretend his heart is beating for you.

“When I take you on a proper date, there’s gonna be tables and napkins. And maybe something fancy to drink...”

“And then-”

“This. And then, this.”

“I like this.”

“Me too.”