#jesper loves protective wylan

[shit-people-probably-didnt-say]

Jesper: I swear on my life-

Kaz: Ive seen your life, swear on something valuable

Wylan: EXCUSE YOU MOTHERFU-

[thesevenumbrellas]

Seeing a lot of autistic Wylan essays on here and now I’m realizing why the fandom has dubbed him the child and why it’s making me so uncomfortable

[l0st-in-time]

Happy belated shadow & bone day !

Please enjoy my somewhat rough wesper drawing *inspired* by season II

This is just my silly interpretation :)

[fulltimeviking]

pov i am watching shadow and bone season 2

[dragonqueenstormwitch]

to be loved is to be seen

and it’s kaz choosing a ship for inej that he thinks suits her

it’s mal knowing alina loves the blue irises, not the white ones

it’s jesper memorizing wylan’s face and telling genya how to tailor him back

it’s david keeping a list of all the ways genya likes to be complimented

it’s nikolai designing a structure to protect zoya’s garden and promising to always make it summer for her

[barrel-crow-n]

I was just thinking about how Kaz built this heartless persona for himself and how everyone falls for it to varying degrees: He's widely regarded as a monster and as "not made right"; Inej thought he wouldn't come for her and that once she was useless to him that he would discard her; Jesper never knows where exactly he stands with him; Nina "doesn't want to know what dark hole he crawled out of"; Wylan calls him "the most vengeful creature he had ever met"; Matthias believes he's a demon. But in reality his true motives for most things are love and grief and loss of family.

Kaz only wanted money for revenge, he didn't want to try and build a meaningful connection with Imogen because she would distract him from pursuing his vengeance, he only mentions how Pekka conned them out of money to explain how they ended up on the streets, how it was never about the money but about Jordie.

Kaz says that he and Jordie were such easy marks because they missed their dad. Kaz's biggest gripe was not just the loss of Jordie but the illusion of a home and family that Pekka had snatched away before the plague snatched Jordie away too.

It all always leads back to Jordie and his loss and avenging him and about never wanting to be that vulnerable again. Kaz created Kaz Brekker to protect himself, to hide his vulnerabilities. His grief is hidden behind a fake name, his naivety is hidden behind violence, his touch aversion is hidden behind the gloves.

Kaz pushes people away because he fears what will happen if he lets them in. He gets mean when he's vulnerable to hide said vulnerability. He did it in the clocktower, he did it in the bathroom. After he accidently calls Jesper Jordie he lashes out verbally and physically, when Inej asks about Jordie and Pekka's involvement in what happened he recounts how he tortured someone. In both incidents it's again Jordie that he's hiding, that is causing him to be vulnerable. It always leads back to Jordie. Even with Van Eck! He's again angry that he fell for what he fell for before, the thing that made him lose Jordie making him temporarily lose Inej.

In both the Jesper and Inej examples he hides behind violence - by brawling with Jesper and recounting a time when he tortured a young boy. He does this because he loves Inej and Jesper, and it scares him, and he doesn't know what to do with it. Because everyone he's ever loved has died in horrible ways (his father was torn apart by a plough, his brother died from a horrible sickness) and he doesn't want to go through it again - especially since he still hasn't let go of Jordie, although it has been eight years.

Kaz is a person who loves so deeply. Who is mainly motivated by love. Who, when Pekka asks him what he wants, replies "Bring my brother back from the dead." because he never cared about money, nor power, nor anything else. He just wants his brother. All he wanted this whole time is his brother, and since he no longer has him he lashes out, all hurt and grieving. He's hurting so badly that he destroys everyone even mildly involved in what took Jordie away from him. But he only did that because he loved Jordie. It wasn't revenge for the sake of money it was for the sake of love. It was for the sake of Jordie.

Kaz loved Jordie so much that he became the most feared person in Ketterdam, that he took down the King of the Barrel and a merchant from one of the oldest families in Ketterdam (because even if his gripe with Van Eck was unrelated, it's because of Jordie's loss that life snowballed into their interactions and the consequent betrayal and destruction of everything Van Eck held dear). Kaz loved Jordie so much that it changed the entire course of the narrative.

If not for Jordie's loss the heist wouldn't of happened, all of the Crows lives would've been different, some of the Crows would even most likely be dead, and this extends even further to much more major things. The King of Ravka managed to steal the titanium because of his help which will aid Ravka in wars, the path to jurda parem is no longer in the hands of the Fjerdans and a cure is being safely developed in Ravka because Kaz rescued Kuwei, Wylan took over the Van Eck empire because Kaz tampered with Van Eck's will and papers, Inej is working on taking down the slave trade which is only possible because Kaz freed her from her indenture, Nina became the queen of Fjerda because of things that Kaz started (her joining the Dregs instead of being indebted to the Dime Lions, him freeing Matthias, him organising the heist, Matthias dying in the aftermath, her going to Fjerda to bury Matthias and the results which ended up being her and her new lover on the Fjerdan throne trying to fix prejudice against grisha, and women, in the most conservative country).

All of it leads back to Kaz. And he did all of it for Jordie. It all always leads back to Jordie. Jordie and Kaz's love for his big brother and his grief over having him snatched away from him.

[petertingle-yipyip]

THAT’LL BE THE DAY - KAZ BREKKER

Pairing: (established) Kaz x Reader

Word Count: 1,710

Summary: (request) “Heyy… I wasn’t sure whether your requests were closed or not… so I am asking you Kaz Brekker x reader wife who’s a Russian assassin and they have been trying really hard for a baby and reader ends up having twin boys. Thank you <3”

The first time it hit you was in the middle of a job.

You were heading back to meet the rest of your crew when the nausea slammed into you. Your steps faltered as your hand came to your mouth. You could feel the vomit threatening but you forced it down. It wasn’t the time. Swallowing the nasty feeling, you kept going and kept it to yourself.

A few days later, you were at the Club in the usual booth with your friends. Nina brought over a plate of waffles, piled high with powdery sweetness and fruits. The smell of the treats made your stomach roll. Your hand came to your mouth as if that contact would keep the feeling to just that.

“Saints, Nina. What did you coat that with?” You mumbled, inching away from the monstrous creation.

“Nothing more than usual.” She frowned. “Are you alright? You seem… Well, green.”

“Fine.” You swallowed the rising bile in your throat. “Excuse me.”

You practically climbed over Wylan to get out the booth. You heard some comments from your friends, words of concern mostly, but you didn’t stop. You kept going until you were out in the Barrel streets. You took a deep breath and the immediate nausea settled, but there was still a general unease in your stomach.

What was going on?

You realized also you were exhausted. You had been for a few days. Your body was fatigued and achy. Your back was tight, joints stiff, eyes heavy.

The terrible thought that you had been poisoned crept into your mind. You hurried to the Slat, both hoping for and dreading Kaz’s presence there. You wanted to talk to him and have him help you figure it out, but if something was actually wrong, you couldn’t bear to think of how he’d handle it.

Instead, you focused on the possibility of poison. A tainted blade or bullet would be an easy enough carrier. You thought of past jobs and any injuries you took. Usually, you were careful. Some compared you to the Wraith, but you wouldn’t know. You joined the Crows after she set sail. Regardless, you couldn’t remember any time that would’ve worked to infect you.

A gas, maybe, but others from your crew would’ve felt it. You considered maybe they were immune, something the Kerch had defense against. Then again, your crew was from scattered places across the world. None of them would’ve been.

You got to your quarters quickly, a shared space between you and Kaz. You let out a relieved sigh when you saw he wasn’t there. You went straight for the bathroom.

You stripped your shirt to examine your torso for something. A knick. A slice. A penetration. Even if it was old and scabbed and visibly wrong, you would’ve taken it. You would’ve loved the explanation for your sudden ailment.

Instead, facing back at you in the mirror, was the same body you knew.

Well… Mostly knew.

Your bound chest to allow your protective gear to fit seemed different. You leaned a bit closer to the mirror, poked the flesh that was practically spilling out.

Odd, you never bound yourself that tight.

You frowned as your eyes drifted further down to your stomach. Your head cocked in confusion. Your stomach seemed rounder, bloated almost.

The new possibility made you dizzy. Gently, you placed. hand on your stomach.

“Are you really in there?” You asked your belly before laughing in disbelief. “If not, I’ve definitely gone mad.”

“Y/N?” Kaz’s voice echoed, urgency clear in his tone.

“In here.” You called over your shoulder, but your attention was still on your reflection in the mirror. You noticed you were smiling slightly.

“Jesper told me you practically ran from the Club.” He said tightly. His eyes were roving your body, looking for an injury.

You rolled your eyes a bit. Clearly, Jesper told him more than that.

“Do I seem… different?” You turned to him. You lowered your hand, folded both behind your back to allow a clear view.

“You seem tired.” He confessed. His leather clad hand rested lightly on your cheek. “Too many late nights in the shadows.”

Kaz usually managed to touch you without his gloves. When you two first met, you were averse to touch as well, through very different traumas. You grew up with physical touch as pain. Touch was turned to death for him. Together, you worked through it as you grew to trust and care for each other.

A gift, he once told you. To touch you and be touched by you was a gift.

“Shadows are my friends.” You shrugged. “They don’t exhaust me, my love.”

“Are you sick then?” He asked quietly.

“I don’t think so.” You shook your head. Gently, you took his hand from your cheek and placed it on your stomach.

His eyes were searching yours and you cracked a smile.

“Not a sickness, but there is something.” You answered.

The next day, he insisted you go to a Corporalnik. You offered the clinic but he said no. People can get sick at the clinic, and you knew why that bothered him. His brother died of a sickness. He wouldn’t risk that for you, especially if you were in the condition you suspected.

Without much protest, you went with him to Little Ravka. It was relatively easy to get in with a Corporalnik, considering who you and Kaz were and the little ‘we’re-friends-of-the-Ravkan-crown’ line he liked to throw around.

“Dirtyhands and the Shadowmaker. I should consider myself lucky.” The woman greeted with a smile. “What brings you to my door?”

“I’ve been feeling different.” You explained carefully. “Tired, achy, nauseous.”

“Kerch medicine isn’t enough?” She raised a brow.

“It’s not treatment we’re hoping for.” You shook your head. “It’s confirmation. The symptoms are a few weeks old, more persistent as time goes on.”

“Let me guess. Your body’s changing as well?”

You nodded hesitantly.

She looked between you and Kaz a few times, as if she was piecing the request together. She smirked to herself before she came closer. Her hands moved quickly and you reached out for Kaz. Immediately, he took hold of your forearm and you gripped tight to his sleeve in return.

She stepped away and sighed.

“You two together is enough chaos around here. Seems like Kerch will need to brace for a new type of storm.” She folded her hands in front of her.

“Are you saying…” Saying the word seemed impossible. Could you truly be pregnant?

“You’ll need to step away for a bit, Shadowmaker.” She smiled. “You’ve got two more important things to make.”

“Two?” You breathed. The idea made your knees weak but Kaz was there immediately to support you.

“May the Saints watch over you and guide you.” She patted your shoulder.

She then turned to Kaz and gave him some tips and instructions, which you tuned out. You knew he’d remember everything she said so you didn’t need to listen. You were too wrapped up in the idea of carrying two babies. Being pregnant alone was an insane concept, but to have two babies was undreamt of.

You were quiet on your walk back to the Slat.

“I was thinking…” You began. “About how my work will change now.”

“I was thinking the same.” Kaz nodded.

“So we’re agreed?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll slow down for now and then step back in a bit.” You said at the same time Kaz said “You’re off any jobs for the foreseeable future.”

“Excuse me?” You said loudly. “You don’t make that choice for me.”

No. No, Kaz couldn’t take that away from you. Something strange took over your thoughts. You worked, no matter what pain or ailment you endured. That was who you were, who you were molded to be.

You. Always. Endured.

The tears welling in your eyes only added to your frustration. If Kaz took you off jobs, you were of no use to him, the Crows, your friends. You’d be a throw away, useless body, waste of resources. Words that weren’t yours, names your friends never used, clouded your focus. With those in mind, you silently cried.

“Y/N?” Kaz said, nearly a gasp. When he discarded his gloves, you didn’t know. With an abundance of caution, he placed his hands on either cheek. You felt the strokes of his thumbs brushing away the falling tears.

“You can’t.” You breathed shakily. “I can keep working, Kaz, I promise. I- I’ll be careful. I can do more int-“

“Where is this coming from?”

“You won’t want me if I’m not useful.”

“I’ll have to be six feet underground to feel like that.” He said firmly. He almost sounded offended that you’d even suggest that. “Nothing will ever change you and I. You can stand there and argue with the wall until your sweet face turns blue. This-“ He nodded between you two. “-is here to stay.”

“But-“ You tried.

“I don’t care about the jobs, my Dear. I care about you.” He said with a gentle force. You sniffled as he continued. “Keeping you safe is all that matters. All three of you.”

You smiled and laughed slightly. “We don’t know it’ll keep.”

One of his hands went down to rest on your stomach and you laid both of your hands over his.

“I’ll do whatever I can to help you.” He promised.

You smiled a bit wider and dropped your forehead against his shoulder. He chuckled quietly and leaned his cheek against your hair.

“I’m scared.” You confessed. “I may be a terrible mother.”

“I’m not sure I know how to be a father.” He answered calmly. “But we can figure it out together, Y/N.”

“They’ll be the safest kids in the Barrel.”

“They’ll handle knives before they can walk.”

“Jes is gonna try to teach them to shoot as soon as they can stand.” You laughed.

“That’ll be the day.” You could hear the slight smile in his words.

“They’ll need names.” You leaned away to see his expression. “I feel like they’ll be boys.”

“Twin boys then?” He raised a brow and you simply shrugged.

“Mother’s intuition, I guess.” You grinned. “What about…”

“Jordie.” He said quietly, knowing what you were going to say. “We should…”

“Of course.” You placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. “He’d be so proud of you… I am.”

He said nothing, just pulled you against him and held you close. You didn’t need him to say anything. You wrapped your arms around him just as tight and you knew, without any doubt, that you wouldn’t want a family with anyone else.

[undiscovered-horizon]

"Four Crow Investigation II: Lovebirds' Outfox" - Kaz Brekker x Reader

[Four Crow Investigation]

☽ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ☾

Enjoying my work? You can leave me a tip on Ko-Fi

SUMMARY: Nina and the rest of "crow-vestigators" are not as inconspicuous as they think. Being a little too spiteful for your own good, Kaz and you string them along. What the amateur detectives consider "evidence" of an affair is actually a well-thought-out scenario.

WORDCOUNT: ~ 2.1k

>>Grishaverse-inspired playlist&lt;<

You stare with amusement as Wylan, Jesper, Inej and Nina are sitting around the table in a hardly inconspicuous manner. They’re leaning so close to each other, their bodies are covering their faces but you don’t need to read their lips or expressions to know exactly what they’re talking about. Meaningful glances, small nudges, animated whispering - none of that escaped your attention.

Then, you feel Kaz squeezing your hand in an attempt to shift your focus from the gossiping friends back to him. His eyebrows are slightly raised in a silent question.

"Do you think they know that we know that they know?" you ask, cringing at the word salad filled with repetitions.

"No," Kaz answers without hesitation. "Considering how long it took them to notice something so obvious, their observation skills are more underwhelming than I had originally thought."

The two of you glance towards your friends once more, left to only guess what tall tales they were making up. Observation skills, Kaz’s voice resounds in your head. Yes, they are good at noticing things they are desperately looking for, so, maybe, if they are looking for crumbs…

"Actually, I have an idea,” you begin in a hushed tone.  Kaz turns to look at you, his expression hardens the moment he notices your mischievous grin. “Up for a bit of roleplay?"

It’s been a wild week for the four Crows. They sat down at a corner table, across the club from you and Kaz talking about something by the bar counter. Absorbed by the conversation, you’re pouring a drink in a record-long time. Your hand hovers above the rum bottle as you’re closely listening to Kaz saying something. Then, to the surprise of the gossip club, you erupt in laughter.

Jesper frowns. “I’m telling you, there’s two of them. She gets the nice Kaz, we get the mean one.”

“No, the mean Kaz is still inside,” Inej refutes. “The nice one is making an effort to bury him but he’s definitely in there. Saw it myself.”

He turns back towards the group. Jesper puts his finger up in a warning gesture and speaks slowly: “Do not tell me Kaz Brekker is a knight in shining armour because there is no way I’m treating that as anything but a bad joke. I’m barely believing the stuff I’ve seen with my own two eyes.”

“N-no, there is some truth to that,” Wylan interjects. “I didn’t see him get angry,” he quickly adds, ”just… strangely protective.”

“So we can agree,” Nina says with expected giddiness, “there is passion in the perpetually grim Kaz Brekker.”

Jesper squints his eyes with suspicion. “I hate the fact that you used passion and Kaz in the same sentence but at the same time I’m curious why.”

“Oh, you’re going to love it!” She taps the table excitedly. “I’ll go first.”

╚ Nina’s Evidence ╝

You’re pacing around the office, jumping from one leg to another, shaking and fidgeting as much as you can without making much noise. While preparing to fool the Heartrender’s power, you’re ensuring that you look the part:

“Is this obscene enough?” you ask unbuttoning your shirt further. Tugging at your clothing, you’re making yourself look even more disheveled. Even the smallest sound outside the office door makes you jump as you’re impatiently waiting for a certain creek of one of the steps.

Kaz doesn’t answer. His watchful eyes are following your movements as he’s focusing on keeping his attention on the task at hand. That bright mind of his, however, fights relentlessly to memorize your unkempt look instead.

Not hearing him respond to your question, you turn around to look at Kaz. Leaning against the desk, he’s just staring at you with a quite inexplicable intensity. His unspoken passion is only making the voice in the back of your head louder: what if it was Him undoing my shirt?

But you stifle this thought. It’s not the time for this. Searching for distraction, you look at Kaz’s collar - the first two buttons are undone but they make him appear more sleepy rather than caught red handed at a moment of weakness.

“May I?” you ask, gesturing towards his garment.

“Go ahead,” he quietly answers. There’s a lot of trust in his lack of movement and calmness about your closeness.

Carefully, you grab the hem of his collar and open his shirt further, while making sure your fingers do not even graze the bare skin underneath, despite the urge sitting deep inside your abdomen. Then, you take a step back, examining his general state and whether it sets a believable scene. A proud smile creeps onto your face.

“You’re really enjoying this,” Kaz states.

“Actually,” you say as you lean against the table, fairly unaware that because of your disheveled clothing your cleavage is significantly more visible, “I’d be enjoying this little scheme a lot more if we were in fact being scandalous.”

Whether that was your objective or not, Kaz’s heartbeat picks up noticeably, his rogue mind flashing explicit images before his eyes.

A creek of stairs.

You and Kaz give each other a meaningful glance and you push the paperweight off the desk, knowing that Nina can hear it. The door swings open and you’re immediately in character, looking away with the most embarrassed expression you could muster.

Kaz clears his throat. “Is there a reason why you’re barging in?”

Nina looks a bit lost, still piecing together what she might have just interrupted. “I… uhm… I talked with Lizzie Hardy. She’s in, we can count on her.”

“Understood,” he says in a low, firm voice. “Now go. And learn to knock.”

A half-grin enters her face as she gets rid of any doubts as to what the two of you had been presumably occupied with before she entered. With a skip to her step, Nina throws a “You bet I will!” before leaving the office. She’s quite sure no one will have a better gossip than her.

╚ Wylan’s Evidence ╝

Wylan is startled by your yelp of pain, almost dropping the delicate vial in his hands. His focus immediately shifts to you, who is now frowning with your hand raised slightly above your head. A string of curses leaves your mouth as you check the wound again - yes, still there and still bleeding.

Right, bleeding.

“Are you okay?” he asks in a worried tone. Part of you feels guilty for fooling Wylan because of the sheepiness he wears most of the time but, on the other hand, he is part of the gossip girl club. This little scheme is just a consequence of his choice.

“Yeah, no problem. I’m a big girl, I’ll just wrap this and I’ll be fine,” you answer casually.

Pretending to look for something that can work as a bandage, you’re praying that Wylan can’t smell the cranberry preserve slowly dripping down your forearm. There’s an urge deep inside you to lick the jam, almost tasting the sweet and sour fruit in your imagination.

Kaz, who was waiting for the well-played-out yelp, rushes into the room with a grim expression. The moment he’s supposed to notice your injury, he makes a show of dropping his shoulders. He’s not saying anything, only giving short sighs and annoyed grunts as he reaches for a random rag laying around. 

“I’d advise against cutting off your fingers,” he says loud enough for Wylan to hear as he’s tightening the wrapped rag around your palm. "You need to be more ca-" Kaz cuts himself off, suddenly realizing he was about to use an off-limits word. "You need to pay attention to what you're doing."

Looking over Kaz’s shoulder, you see Wylan nervously glancing at the two of you out of the corner of his eyes. Jesper is going to hear world-shattering news in the next hour - on that you can safely bet any number of limbs.

╚ Jesper’s Evidence ╝

Too busy retelling what he had learned while following Lizzie Hardy, Jesper doesn’t notice the tiny signal you give Kaz while the three of you are walking through the streets of Ketterdam.

Air, cobblestone, a lost dog - it doesn’t matter. You stumble over something but ever watchful Kaz manages to grab you by the waist, preventing you from falling. To be honest, until this moment you weren’t completely sure this is going to work out because you never practiced this with Kaz. Well, you did, once, but the two of you got significantly distracted early on. So the plan to outfox Nosy Jesper was a leap of faith - literally and figuratively.

Jesper, the man in question, halted his story as he’s watching the unbelievable occurrence of Kaz having a caring reflex. For a moment he considers whether this wasn’t some kind of miraculous coincidence but on the other hand, the movement looked so natural and purposeful that it simply had to be deliberate.

Standing on your own, you look towards Jesper, who’s still staring at you and Kaz with furrowed eyebrows and his mouth slightly agape. “You were saying?” you coax him to continue as though nothing happened.

“Yes, right, the thing,” he stutters out as he’s trying to remember what he was talking about before seeing something so strange he’s questioning his own sanity.

╚ Inej’s Evidence ╝

Due to the late hour, or rather an hour so late it can be considered early, the club is deserted except for you and Kaz sitting by the bar. He’s silently watching your profile as you’re applying another layer of theatrical paint and makeup.

“Does it look realistic?” you ask for the hundredth time while examining the bruise in a small hand-held mirror.

“It’s good enough.”

You set down the mirror and look at him. To a degree, you know he won’t agree to your proposition but you try anyway, just to make sure:

“Maybe you could hit me?” you suggest. His expression grows colder. “Just for good measure. To really sell this,” you add in your own defense, as though there is a possibility of him retaliating for such a ridiculous proposition. Even when furious beyond imagination, you’ve heard him yell exactly once out of anger.

He leans closer towards you. Paradoxically, it’s you who is uncomfortable with the sudden intimacy but maybe the uneasiness is not due to the proximity but the chilling tension that has sprouted between the two of you. Kaz studies your expression for a moment, his jaw relaxes and clenches over and over again as he’s clearly pondering the earthiest way he can put his thoughts into words.

“I will never raise my hand against you,” his voice is quiet and wavering with emotions, “even if my life depends on it. So don’t ask again. Ever.”

Suddenly, you feel strangely small next to him as though Kaz is but a shadow that quickly grows larger as candlelight dims. “Right, sorry,” you answer awkwardly.

The door to the club opens with a creek and the nervous conversation has to be cut short. You cover your face with hands, having rubbed some chili seeds into your palms earlier. As the capsaicin reaches your nostrils and eyes, forcing yourself to cry is easier than ever. Pretending to be agonizing over something, you keep reminding yourself not to actually touch your eyes or nose.

You can’t see her face but you’re sure Inej is wearing a worried or confused expression and you’re quite correct in your guess - she walks towards you and Kaz with apprehension as though she’s still wondering whether she wants to intrude. Inej momentarily grows anxious, noticing the vibrant bruise on the side of your face.

Then, in a truly dramatic fashion, Kaz gets up from the bar stool and storms out of the club as you had agreed beforehand. While he’s passing Inej, she calls out to him:

“Kaz-”

But he’s quick to cut her off in a harsh voice:

“Not now, Inej.”

The door closes behind him with a slam and considering the state of the two of you, she prefers not to ask questions. It will be easier to sleep at night.

“They’re staring,” you inform Kaz while pouring him a drink.

“As far as I know, they have a reason to,” he answers, taking a sip of the beverage. His eyes are boring into you like his trying to look past your skin and bones, into your mind if not your very soul.

A wide smile brightens your face. You lean on the counter, face close to Kaz’s. Although it’s been some time, it still makes your heart flutter that he doesn’t move away. Perhaps it’s just his unreadable expression or maybe he really is unbothered by the proximity.

“To be honest, I enjoyed our little theatrics.” Smiling at him, your teeth glisten in the dim light inside the club.

“You make an impressive con artist, I have to admit.”

“Ah, forget the con part,” you wave your hand in dismissal. “It was entertaining, alright, but the best part was just spending time with you.”

Kaz almost chokes on his drink.

____ @moonstruckpoet @shara-ne @queenkalico

[jkriordanverse]

soc but we don't really talk about the ways the characters grieve over matthias's death much so i'm doing it.

Note: since @clarissaweasley-10 is still grieving i thought i'd make this to soften the blow

Kaz - This guy lost one of his crows. They were supposed to be under his care, he was supposed to protect them. They were all supposed to make it. But they didn't. And it scares him because what if it hadn't been Matthias but Inej, or Jesper, or Wylan, or hell, even Nina. This is Jordie all over again, he let someone get a bit too close and now they're gone...it hurts. My personal hc is that he doesn't really allow himself to grieve, and chooses instead to overwork himself until finally Inej confronts him and tells him it's okay to miss Matthias.

Inej - It upsets her that he died, given their situations were so similar to each other, both having their families taken away from them at a young age, then going into something that wasn't good. But Matthias, he had his whole life ahead of him. I mean, Inej wasn't sure what she was going to do after Kaz and the heists and all of that, but Matthias was going to settle down with Nina, and then all this happened. And it's just wrong that he was taken away so early and maybe the gods she believed in hadn't been so giving as she thoguht they were. But overall I think she'd be the first to make peace with it.

Wylan - It scares him. I mean, from his time with Van Eck leading up towards his incident in the canal, he's been on edge at the thought of death and he might die alone, too. But now he's with his friends, and his life is going great, and he has what could possibly be the love of his life, he feels invincible and it was perfect. But then Matthias died and hell, he wasn't even really there when it happened. and it wasn't perfect anymore, and it reminds him that maybe life is more fragile than he remembered.

Jesper - It haunts him like it haunts Nina. I mean, what if he had been the one who took parem instead, then maybe, just maybe, Nina would've still had her powers and might've been able to heal Matthias back, or at least control his blood pressure to a stable level until Kaz got a healer. I think like Inej, he knows that Mattthias had his whole life ahead of him, and it kinda gives him the thought that maybe he should've been the one who died instead of Matthias. or he should've been there, maybe his Grisha powers could'ved deflected the bullet elsewhere, there were endless possibilities. It haunts him, and he never really gets over it, even though he acts like he has.

[ashessonfire]

Part two of 'Intruder' <3

'Intruder' Kaz Brekker x Reader (part 2)

Prompt - A few months had passed since you stumbled into the crow club, leaving the crows curious as to who they were. How will the crows react to the most vulnerable secret of Kaz Brekker finally being revealed?

- Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Civilian!Reader (Gender neutral) - Warnings: none? again just Kaz being soft, some mentions of the break in but literally PURE FLUFF

A/N: Once again i am incredibly grateful for all the love and support, and hopefully i have done justice with this part two! it can be read as a stand alone, some of the context will be confusing, but hopefully still just as cute! if you haven't read the first part, you can find it here!!

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A couple of months had passed since your less than ideal first meeting with the crows. Since that frantic day, your locks had been switched to the latest designs, being inspected thoroughly by your lover until even he, the master of his trade, struggled to crack them.

Although you were still paranoid beyond belief each time you turned the key to your home, the knowledge that Kaz had thoroughly ensured your protection settled the nerves fluttering in your chest. Frequent visits from your husband weren’t unusual, often slipping away from his desk during the earliest hours to bask in your company, allowing you to bathe him with love and affection, something he had slowly accepted and found he thoroughly enjoyed, only on one condition.

It had to be from you.

But since that night, he came over more frequently, stopping off after heists with gifts he had ‘bought’, or dropping in to work on blueprints, stating that there was too much paper cluttering the desk in his usual space, making you smile at his blatant lies just to be closer to you.

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Kaz vigorously battled with his mind on the night you visited the crow club, having to repress his heart's wishes to stay with you, for your safety, and his peace of mind.

However, he dragged himself back, leg stiffening in the frigid air, sending sharp bolts of pain through to his bone. Yet that wasn’t what plagued the man as he limped back to the slat. What haunted him most was the idea that he would have to confront his crows about his one true weakness.

Evidently being you.

Kaz demanded each crow's presence, ordering them to his office as soon as the sun began to slowly bleed its light into the impenetrable darkness of Ketterdam. Once they were situated in the cramped room, he hardened his gaze and lowered his voice, morphing it into a deadly tone.

“I am aware that last night may have surprised you, however you are not to speak a word of it to anyone. Not to dregs, customers, or civilians. Do I make myself clear?” Kaz bit out, leading Jesper to swallow thickly, Nina to shift her gaze to the condensation on the windowpane, and Inej and Wylan to both find wonderfully interesting specks of dirt on the panels of the floor.

The crows remained true to their word, still in awe at the mysterious figure who seemed to have tamed the Bastard of the Barrel, but far more scared of the consequences that may come with disobeying their boss’s order. However, Kaz had made a grave mistake with his command, demanding your existence to remain unbeknownst to the dregs, but never specifying that they were forbidden from discussing you with each other.

You became somewhat of a legend amongst the crows, appearing frequently in gossip which they housed in their cramped rooms at the slat, waiting for the clicking sound of a cane and heavy footsteps to disappear into their owner’s office to begin discussion.

“How long do you reckon they've been together for? I mean, I have never seen Kaz holding anyone’s hand before,” Nina mumbled through a mouthful of pastry, whilst wearing a highly quizzical look.

Jesper smirked at the group, “How did Kaz even manage to find someone like that, furthermore, how did Kaz keep it a secret for so long?” the sharpshooter questioned, one eyebrow raised far above the other. “They seemed so lovely, its surprising Kaz would let someone like that so close to him,” Inej chimed in, sharing a similar curiosity towards you.

As the weeks rolled on, the crows began dropping subtle hints to their leader of their interest in meeting you formally, evidently following the rules of the warning he dealt on the night of the intrusion. Curiosity was consuming the group, and even Kaz couldn’t deny his intensifying wish to display his proudest achievement to his closest friends, his relationship with you.

Unbeknownst to the crows, you too had been troubling Kaz about meeting his friends, desperate to erase your first impression on them and truly show yourself, not the terrified stranger begging for comfort.

After several nights of thorough bargaining with your husband, he reluctantly agreed to introduce his group to you, on the condition that you would be far from the Barrel’s hotspots, somewhere unreachable by rival gang’s watchful eyes. Squeezing Kaz’s hands tight, and giving him an appreciative kiss, you bound off to prepare for tomorrows event, leaving a softly smiling husband in your wake.

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Kaz couldn’t decipher his emotions as they rushed through him at an alarming pace, feeling anxious, excited, and fearful all at once. The pair of you had settled for your favourite café, a small establishment on the outskirts of the city, residing on a flower ridden street, colourful lanterns hanging like falling stars from ropes above the houses. The sight was a direct juxtaposition of the intensity found in your husband’s usual Barrel life, but a contrast which never failed to warm Kaz’s heart whenever he stepped foot there with you.

Dressed in your finest, you waited anxiously at the largest table the cramped café had to offer, adorned with scented candles, besides an array of flowers you had picked early that morning, dew still dripping from a few of the glistening forget-me-nots. You sat beside Kaz, gripping tightly to his gloved hand, the other fidgeting with the edge of his coat as a distraction.

Kaz instantly picked up on your nervous state, squeezing your hand in reassurance and brushing a whisp of fallen hair out of your gently lit eyes, staring long enough to just catch the flicker of the candles within your irises. “They’re only my crew, darling. If they do anything wrong I will…” Kaz began, but he was cut short by your breathy laugh. Apparently, the wrath of your husband against those who threatened you extended even to his closest and most trustworthy companions.

The door swung open, revealing a well dressed set of crows, their eyes steering directly to the couple before they briskly made their way over to you. A sudden fear rose within you, but you refused to display the same expression you had at the crow club, willing to give your best performance until the feeling subsided. You shot each one a welcoming smile, exchanging pleasantries as they made themselves comfortable.

The fear shattered within you as you took each of the crow’s expressions in, which all seemed to strangely resemble awe? Excitement? Your initial confusion was brought to a standstill as Kaz turned to them, stating clearly, “Everyone, this is Y/N, my wife,” offering a tight-lipped smile to his friends.

Nina suddenly spat out her drink, eyes bulging as Jesper made a choking sound somewhere in the back of his throat. Inej and Wylan sat looking dumbfounded, the boy’s jaw hanging slightly open.

“Uhmm. Excuse me, let’s take a few steps back, shall we? Wife?!” Jesper exclaimed, completely in astonishment. Kaz took a deep breath in before tightening his hold on your hand, clearly apprehensive to reveal his most vulnerable softness to his friends, who had rarely seen more than a smirk from their stoic boss. As the crows gathered their thoughts and tried to configure logical reasoning as to what had been revealed, the elderly owner of the café hobbled over, giving Kaz a toothy grin.

“It’s been a while Mr Brekker! I was wondering when we would be graced with your presence again, I have already prepared your regular, peach pie with…” The woman began but was cut off sharply by a “Thank you,” from Kaz, as he turned his head to hide his embarrassment. Nina let out a snort as the other three simultaneously burst into giggles, causing you to fall victim to the contagiousness of the laughter.

By this point Kaz was beyond mortified, being called out as a ‘regular’ at a joyful family-run café at the edge of the Barrel, as well as having his guilty pleasure exposed to his crew who he was positive would never let this go.

Despite this humiliation, Kaz felt a drop of warmth seep into his chest at the sight of you conversing with his friends, immediately connecting with each one of them. He felt something moving inside of him, deciding it was probably you, chipping away at his apparently impenetrable walls.

As the late afternoon clouds faded into the evening haze, the group departed with delighted goodbyes and warm hugs, establishing the beginning of many trips to visit Kaz’s (now) not-so-secret wife. You left them armed with new candles for the slat, baked goods, and most impressively, trinkets from the market which you had bought personally for each crow, going solely off your husband's descriptions of each individual.

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A glowing warmth radiated from the couple as you both walked, fingers entwined, back to your home, taking in the constellations which lit up the tranquil streets you winded through. Kaz decided to reward himself with a rare but well-earnt night in, with the single intent of being doused in your affection.

Kaz smiled lovingly down at you, as you peacefully slept wrapped in his shirt and coat, wiped out by the intense emotions that poured through you that day.

Crouching down slowly, your husband fiddled with a stray piece of your hair, admiring how the serene glow from the fire softened your features, catching in your figure perfectly, framing your face in a halo of light.

He settled down next to you, exhausted but proud. Proud of how far you two had come, which flooded him with a sense of relief. Because as it turns out, his crows could undoubtedly see the same beauty he was blinded by within you.

And it was clear in this moment, both to him and his crew, that Kaz Brekker was more than just in love with you. His entire existence was plagued with sentiment for you, and for once Kaz couldn’t seem to view it as a weakness, rather a sign that something deep inside him was healing.

“I love you, darling of my heart,” Kaz whispered as he kissed you goodnight.

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tag list: @chaoticbeanz @kryptonitewizard @alanis-altair @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy <33

[nine-is-not-a-ten]

Wylan: I protect my investments.

Jesper: Excuse me?

Wylan: What? Kaz said that's how you say 'I love you!'

Jesper: Oh. Oh waIT A SEC---

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

I so often think about what the tone of scene with the backless book would have looked like in the Six of Crows spin off.

In Six of Crows, when the crew arrive in Djerholm they go to an Inn and sit on the terrace to give them a clear, if distant, view of the road that leads to the Ice Court, and Kaz uses a device he calls a 'backless book' to see the prison wagon on the road with perfect clarity - it looks like a perfeclty normal book until you hold it open on a specific page at a specific angle. He passes the book around without telling anyone that it is actually a mirrored lens so that no-one else on the terrace will know what they're talking about, and when Wylan is offered the book by Jesper he initially refuses to take it. He asks 'What does it say?' and Jesper replies 'Just look'. In this scene everyone, including the reader, is yet to learn that Wylan cannot read and therefore this line doesn't have any particular impact on us in the moment, except as a continuation of the idea that Wylan feels uncomfortable and that the others tend to be impatient with him for the way he doesn't fit into their world. But imagine what this scene would look like with the added subtext that Jesper already knows he can't read but the others don't! AND the added subtext they already have an established relationship!!

Imagine the panic in Wylan's eyes slowly growing as the book moves round the group, imagine the hesitation in his voice as he asks Jesper what it says, imagine Jesper softening his voice to reassure him as he gently tells him that he just has to look.

And on this same vein, imagine Jesper beginning to piece together why Wylan 'left' his father's house early on. Imagine Jesper standing on the deck of the Ferolind with Inej as she quietly tells him that Van Eck writes to Wylan every week and Wylan doesn't even open the letters, the way she'd study him as she noticed that he knew something more than her but would never pry. Imagine the way the tone would change for when Wylan is drawing the maps of the Ice Court and says he hasn’t labelled anything because he doesn’t know Fjerdan, despite the fact that he’s already revealed he speaks Fjerdan - in the book no-one questions it and I think that’s partly due to Jesper mocking him and saying that he probably doesn’t speak it well (it’s confirmed later that he does) and partly due to the way he doesn’t fit in and the others aren’t really paying him much attention; it’s a brief moment the reader doesn’t put much stock into until they find out that Wylan can’t read at the end of the book. The added dimension of us already having that subtext would have been absolutely fascinating and I am so so upset we don’t get to see it play out, especially since we would probably have a lot of Wesper angst going on as well - I’m imaging the way Wylan would fear Jesper ratting him out or turning on him because he lied to him and being so shocked that he doesn’t and just not understanding the way he still cares about him or that he would still protect him because he doesn’t know what it feels like to be loved I’m gonna cry

[a-strangers-thoughtss]

Mmmm thinking about Wesper again

Jesper definitely having a crush on Kaz for a little while and then getting together with Wylan,

Wylan… who is heavily paralleled with Kaz throughout both books.

Wylan being incredibly kind and understanding towards him aswell as literally covering for his fuckups and red headed… like his father

Jesper finding someone who can match his crazy while also keep some of his more stupid decisions in check Find someone who can help him regulate his addiction and calm him down when he goes too crazy

Wylan who hasn’t had really anyone pay him an ounce of positive attention in years getting together with someone who litteraly constantly flirts with him and pays attention to him (see Jesper helping Genya give him his face back)

Jesper who never faults him for his dyslexia and instead actively helps him by reading to him

Jesper who pushes him out of his comfort zone and brings out the more adventurous and bold version of himself. Who doesn’t judge him and instead actively encourages him to take up more space.

Uggggg they make me crazy

I love their dynamic so much bc they are so different and similar at the same time

Like they have these little things in common, both have complicated relationships with their parents, both feel like fuckups!!!!

It’s just that they have such different versions of their issues that complement eachother so well (and this goes for Kanej and Helnik aswell)

While Wylans dad is an abusive ass who actively attempts to injure and kill him, Jespers father genuinely loves him and wants to protect him so much that he discourages the use of his powers (the things that could get him killed).

Jespers mother dies when he was young saving a child while Wylans mom’s death is faked when he is young because she is attempting to protect him. (They are both absolutely amazing)

Wylan feels like a fuckup because his father constantly told him how much of one he was for something that was out of his control, and he doesn’t feel useful at all.

Jesper feels like a fuckup because he makes bad decisions and actively puts himself and Colm in danger regardless of the fact that his father wants him to be safe.

Different circumstances, similar feelings

Maybe I’ll go even more in depth into this later, and I’m sure people have pointed these things out before but I just need to say them too bc it’s making me crazy.

[darjeelinh]

Jesper “guard against pain” vs Wylan “guard against joy”

Jesper’s jokester and confident façade was to protect himself from feeling pain, but inside he’s insecure and vulnerable. He hid his grisha nature because the only person who ever treasured it was taken away from him, and grew up being told that it was a curse. So instead he acts like he doesn’t need it. He acts like he takes all the losses and all the hurtful things in good stride but deep inside he’s feeling lost and guilty all the time. That boy is always bouncing on his feet with guilt all the time in the duology. Guilt for disappointing everyone: his father, Kaz, Inej, his mother, and himself. When he thought about Wylan at the end of SOC he thought Wylan wouldn’t want to hang out with criminals like him anymore once he got the money and that had stung more than he thought: it’s the boy inside him feeling abandoned again, the boy that does no good to anyone other than in a fight. And he cope with all that pain, that guilt, with his addiction and his gunslinging - which no one really paid any mind until Wylan saw through his façade.

Wylan, whose joy and hope was taken away from him by his father, was always made to feel less than, shared the same constant feeling of guilt for just being who he is. His father made sure of it, that he knows he’s not allowed to feel anything but anxious and guilt, and his joy was to be choked out of him (metaphorically and literally). Wylan in the show couldn’t even believe when Jesper told him he was smart, thinking it was just a trick to coddle him into some false sense of joy before it would be taken away again. Wylan in the books still holding on to the last shred of decency for his father until that moment at Saint Hilde, instead blaming himself for it, maybe because it would give him a false sense of control over his own pain. Until Jesper saw his own guilt mirrored in Wylan, and helped him to his feet.

Both Jesper and Wylan were able to keep some part of goodness in the face of everything that happened in their lives: Jesper with his good spirits, Wylan with his morals - standing up against Kaz again and again despite being threatened every time. In Jesper, Wylan learned to accept joy again, and that this won’t be taken away from him. And in Wylan, Jesper knew that he has a safe space where he can accept his pain and heal from it in a healthy way.

“You can love something despite seeing all of its flaws.”

Anyway, Wesper is each other’s safe haven.

[lilisouless]

Wylan giving the crows painting lessons, p2

Wylan: alright, can i see your paintings?

Jesper: here´s mine, i used oil paintings , i know the shapes aren't as defined but-

Wylan: whos, this is nice, i love the colors

Nina: aw, you painted Wylan sleeping, he looks like an angel

Matthias: you know, i was afraid you would-

Jesper: and look at the uncensored version!

Jesper lifts a sheet and both Wylan and Matthias groan

Matthias: didn't need to see that! thats too much detail..did you put all your effort on that specifically?

Nina: Did Jesper exagerate or-

Wylan: Nina!

Nina: what? wanna see my portrait

Wylan: well...it´s...it not bad, it has a tridimensional look and there´s a clear artistic style

Matthias: It´s an almost naked portrait...of me. I can't believe you guys took advantage of this to make your...inappropiate jokes

Nina: innapropiate? Matthias, where is your artistic sensibility? There´s nothing inappropiate in natural beauty

Matthias: you put volume in my abs, like, only there, everything else is just flat

Nina: it´s a metaphor, your stomach is protected, meaning your head is clear of emotional bursts, it´s serenity

Matthias: you painted me completely naked, and gave me long and wavy hair to cover my intimacy

Nina: it´s another metaphor, your whole being and feelings are exposed, and only embracing the beauty of life (like that hair) will keep you free

Matthias: you also did my torso three times bigger than my head and legs, you gave me noodle legs and a whole tank up there

Nina: it´s a representation of all the weight you have to carry

Jesper dries a tear: you are such a poet

Wylan: lets just get to Matthias´s painting

Wylan: hey, it´s good, you have a hand for the curves-

Jesper: oh gheezen!

Nina:Matthias, please i know you are always wanting but this is not the time. You drew me too sexual

Matthias: what? no i did not!

Jesper: you exagerated with the boobs

Matthias: no i didn't! i just shaded a bit, Wylan said it was good to give them life-

Nina: well if you wanted real boobs you could have just told me!

Matthias: i didn't...i shaded everything! i put the same shading in everything,not just the boobs! it´s not sexual! she is just that rounded!

Jesper: you make me sick,Helvar

Nina: you prophane poor Wylan´s canvas

[barrel-crow-n]

Colm Fahey as the Crows' parent

Jesper: He's Jesper's biological dad. He fucks up sometimes but he is still an amazing dad trying his best. He cares for Jesper and wants what's best for him. Jesper loves him a lot.

Wylan: Father in law. Colm loves Jesper's boyfriend. He loves their relationship. He's very supportive. He gave them his blessing and he's the kind dad Wylan needed after that bitch of a father.

Inej: Colm likes Jesper's friend. A strong independent woman; kind, polite. It's hard not to love Inej. Plus she obviously really cares about Jesper and Jesper really cares about her. He was worried when she was hurt, and worries in general - after all she's a pirate that hunts slavers.

Matthias: Matthias clearly needed a good father figure (especially after Brum). Colm notices how to reaches for a weapon whenever he hears something. It worries him but he tries to relax him as much as he can when possible.

Nina: She acts like siblings with Jesper. She's loud and funny and Colm likes her a lot, meanwhile Nina asks for Jesper's baby pictures. Colm decided that's a bad idea.

Kaz: Kaz is so polite (around him). And so kind (around him). And he loves Kaz despite the guy being, well, scary. Interestingly, Kaz asks for Jesper's childhood stories. Colm wouldn't take him for the guy that does that but maybe he just wants to get to know Jesper better? (It's blackmail material.) Jesper obviously sees him as a brother, even if they got in a fight, so Colm feels closer to Kaz accordingly. Kaz hasn't had a good father figure in a long time (Per Haskell was a father figure but not a good one) and Colm kind of reminds him of his father because he is also a farmer.

Also they are all teenagers. And Colm's son's friends. Plus none of them have parental figures anywhere to be seen. It's only natural he starts to feel a little protective. Especially paired with their dangerous activities.