#ive talked a bit about it on here but i have really mixed opinions on everything lately

[bloodmoonlich]

.

[9w1ft]

i think you’re being quite clear here which is an art that i lack… ive struggled writing something so direct because it feels like infighting territory and i’ve been sort of going back and forth a bit in my head and heart about all this. i have mixed feelings that are hard to articulate for me and it’s a string of events that effects many similar but different groups of people so it just feels like it’s hard to walk without unintentional stepping on toes.

and people have a right to say what they think based on what taylor is expressing. for sure. a right on the individual level, yes. and the way swifties jump on gaylors about this is and forever will be an issue. i don’t want to dismiss that on a base level. it really shouldn’t be an attack about what everyday people think. it’s more about how it is expressed by institutions.

and people can be hurt! even when we can and other people can separate these things (for example i think chely was clear enough about pointing out that she didn’t like that it was published), pushback can still hurt in any form because it’s representative of a generally negative climate that we find ourselves constantly in, and any perceived disapproval gets very easily weaponized, and scrolling through hostility hurts.

now here’s the part i struggle with articulating.

because i also feel like there’s a dichotomy or like an opposing tension between two things in the space right now, perhaps, there’s a little bit of… wanting-to-have-your-cake-and-eat-it-too about things that’s been growing in recent years among people popularizing gaylor, or gaylorism. because by and large gaylor people have been working to justify the discussion of queerness in taylor’s work as something divorced from taylor the individual and the people she knows (“museless”!), to “elevate” or “legitimize” the (their? the?) discussion of it at all, often posturing as you do in fandom so as to up your clout or credibility within the community, and, perhaps as a product of these things, more gaylors are bringing what they think, their thoughts and theories, into increasingly public facing platforms. video form content. using their own real faces and names. podcasts. guest interviews. personality-centric community building. you get these sort of… pseudo-platforms. not quite public but not quite fandom. and gaylor people have been pulling out what parts of gaylor that they deem ethical to talk about, brushing off the parts they decide aren’t, running with it, and from within that repackaging and polishing, things have become normalized to world at large and increasingly louder takes have made their way into institutions. news websites. internet publication social media presences. college curriculums. and it feels great to be seen and heard, yes, but from within that, at some point some of the public facing takes are going to start toeing some line. like, maybe at some point there’s a line of some sort? idk? it would seem that taylor pointed out that line, or decided not to course correct whoever pointed out the line.

what i think i mean to say is, i struggle with anyone saying there is nothing wrong with voicing your opinion on taylor’s queerness if they are also actively working to popularize and normalize talking about taylor’s queerness using or supporting platforms or venues that, while they might often be homemade, contribute to things ultimately being published across the line. you can’t have it both ways. otherwise, yes, a lot of sympathy for the hate going around this week for us all as a collective community.

and one thing i kept returning to this week was the word museless and how sure, on the surface, it seems like such an easy argument to say that people who focus on taylor’s muses are being invasive because people are being named and that talking about queer subtext is not because it’s academic and generalist. but i kind of wonder if the opposite isn’t actually true sometimes.

because what kaylors or other earnest muse groups are doing is trying to understand what inspired taylor to create most of her music in the first place; the what is so often a who because of the amount of love songs in her discography. and in the end, all we can really say at this point are rumors, look at the public facing reality we are stacked up against right now. all we can really be is weird. tinhatty. all we are doing is creating more folklore. if we are delusional, we are not credible. on the other hand, while talking about how gay her stuff is on tumblr or a bulletin board is all well and fine, if you go further afield than that and make a point of doing so “objectively” and spending so much time to build up ones legitimacy, working to become an authority, and taking money for it, it kinda means you’re ultimately building a stronger and stronger objective case for her being gay (umbrella term) at all. and that —at this point in time— is a threat.

i don’t think there’s a hard right or wrong, like sure, one could make some trolley problem argument that taylor the individual shouldn’t take precedent over her work being made an example of for the greater good or something to that effect, but at the same time maybe there’s something or there are some things in there to protect? maybe there are reasons she is not out? maybe she wants to proceed in her own way, because of the context of her life? maybe there’s a reason to want to maybe not make an endeavor of taylor? the other day i saw some stuff floating around on twitter about how oh i’ve never seen a full kaylor timeline kaylors never present a clear timeline post-2016 and then you get people commenting that’s because they don’t have one ha hah! take that kaylors! blah blah blah and it’s like, no, how about considering why the heck any one of us would want to collate that or even express our thoughts in full to people who belong to a group that refuses to keep things to themselves, given what we believe? like, my understanding or perception of taylor’s muse makes me want to be all hazy about it. focusing just on the queerness… i worry it might be making some amount of people lose perspective.

[gladiatorcunt]

Didn’t know you were a kpop fan babe 😧 Kinda not surprised, but still… Your faves?

“kinda not surprised” erm

(i got into it like around 2015 and i typically go for 3rd gen to earlier when it comes to music, also i don’t interact with any fandoms on social media anymore since i’ve gotten older (and i don’t rlly keep up with the idols themselves) beyond what edits i see or what gets so popular i have to see it on my fyp)

red velvet (my girlies)

loona (haseul could’ve been the baekhyun of loona if they used her properly beyond 1 line)

exo (masterclass in discography and actually being a capital i idol but also mess and mismanagement, arguably a big part of some of their issues is the tension between sk and china, etc.)

vixx (still a fair bit underrated imo when you consider how long they’ve been active, their vocal ability, being known for their concepts, like ughhhhh leo is one of the only idols who i will be like ‘that’s my husband and we have 6 kids <3’ about)

monsta x (very solid discography, talented, rappers that genuinely have something which there a lot of rappers in kpop groups just bc they’re trying to get appeal, still mildly irritated over the wonho thing bc the way companies deal with stuff like that when the idol is innocent is just so annoying. queen is one of the best bsides in kpop history.)

ramble under the cut

honorary shinee (jonghyun is my golden standard male vocalist), boa, snsd, sunmi, btob mentions

unfortunately jay park is cute and i do like mommae, dean’s like one album he did (i didn’t listen to the other one if that even was a full second album), i used to fw hyuna but she’s pissed me the fuck off

fave time out jail ig: bts (just really grew out of being into them ig since boy with luv came out, some of their tiktok fanbase proudly bullying people and how i feel about the quality of their music now (missing house of cards type quality) + the western validation debate + being on tumblr when people made jungkook’s whole personality at 19 yrs old being goo goo ga ga over banana milk and having a noona kink)), nct (the t*eil thing, but imo if people like that want to hide then they will so i think at least some of the members didn’t know, i don’t keep up with that so i’m not sure if any other info has since come out. i believe he did it with how things are rn and as a csa survivor i just feel a bit gross with being overly supportive of them)

and then there is the can of worms that is the group named after colors (another case where imo they were better earlier on, playing with fire >>>>)

i don’t really have any 4th gen faves, i love ateez and i like some stray title tracks (as in random not stray kids lmao) & bsides from groups here and there

i have mixed feelings about 4-5th gen (imo music is not the focus so much as international reach and social media presence), riize (wonbin is so fine though like sm employs pretty boy idols and refuses to manage them properly) and new jeans (i really wished i liked their music because literally everyone else does), ive’s title tracks are pretty solid (i don’t know anything about their bsides), le sserafim is ehhhhhhhh (i think i literally only like anti fragile + they do need to improve technically for me), enhyphen (i will say is the closet to being a fave for me because i eat up their obsessive songs that are apparently about their webtoon???????? and that one jyp cover (i assume bc he was there) bangs, also again they’re fine 😖)

for the life of me i can’t fully commit to aespa but their concept is cool (and the lore should stick to them and not be attached to every sm group imo)

talking about the songs i like & listen to regularly/industry opinions is a different discussion (that i dipped into too much here) i fear so i’ll shut up!!! i could probably get back into it if a company debuted a group and was like ‘안녕하세요! we are D.I.L.F!’ and the members are all at least in their mid 40’s and they groan when they try to bow

[outivv]

— random rambles —

Synopsis: I just wanna gush about these characters :’)

Warnings: a lot of my own personal headcanons on the characters lol, mentions of raw cookie dough (putting this here justtt in case), and it’s not proofread

Characters: almost all the twisted wonderland characters!!

Pronouns for reader: gender neutral/ not mentioned

A/n: heyyy, I know I asked for genshin requests but IVE HAD TWISTED WONDERLAND ON THE BRAINNNN for like no reason too… it’s very very strange tbh. Anyways, I really enjoyed writing this, so I hope you like it just as much as I do!! Have a great rest of your day!!

Malleus is absolutely the type to listen to every word you have to say. He isn’t very knowledgeable of a lot of more modern things, so he’s very interested in whatever you have to say :). Best boyfriend for anyone who has a major hyperfixation, this man will eat that shit up. He has a great memory too!! You could tell him everything about your current hyperfixation and he’ll remember it for the rest of his life.

Sebek and silver are weirdly the best duo to be friends ugh in my opinion. Oh my god imagine being in a little trio with them. That’d be so fun!! For example baking with them, Sebek would be very precise yet messy, and silver is probably the type to sneak a little bit of the batter/ frosting JVEJEHE. He definitely eats raw cookie dough straight from the bowl (it’s ok silver so do I, we can get sick together). Sebek probably yells at him for it too, like “MALLEUS WOULDNT APPRECIATE IT IF YOU GOT SICK SILVER.” “Bro wha” JVEJEHE. They’d just be so goofy to be friends with :]

Any time of the day. Anywhere. Any place. Idia is ready to dump his hyperfixations on you. AND IF YOU HAVE THE DAME HYPERFIXATION AS HIM??? It’s over. You are officially now his best friend uhhh would you actually like to just live with him???? If it’s not obvious I’m headcanoning Idia as autistic so. Anyways, if you stim with him? He gets really happy, but also really really nervous?? And pretty flustered. Ortho once walked in on you both just talking about your hyperfixations and he was like “idk what half this means but happy you’re happy” and just left MEVEJEH

Rook probably has a weird infatuation with fancy teas. You know what I mean? He just gives off the vibes, or someone who taste tests teas like they’re wine. Like “oh yes, I can taste the rose in this, mm.. yes yes, 1920’s rose tea, that was freshly brewed in a kettle. Very fine taste you have [name]” “Uhh I just bought this from sam’s shop for like $2. So. Sure??”

I think Jamil REALLY likes collecting random things with snakes on them. He gives the vibes of someone who just likes snakes of all kinds. Socks with a cobra on it?? Yes please. He wears them regularly. A cute little snake keychain, that is in his room somewhere, and sometimes he even puts it on his favorite bag. He just really likes snakes?? I know his last name is viper, so it’s super on brand, but despite all that, I genuinely think he just is one of those people that’s like “wow!! Snakes!! I love them :)” for like no reason. (I was one of those people. I would know a fellow snake enjoyer when I see one /j)

This isn’t a headcanon but more of a… random thought. How do Jack, ruggie, and Leona hold phones?? I saw Art of this once I forgot who made it but it was of Leona, and it just made me think like, their ears on on top of their head ok? So. When they take a call, mkay. Where do they hold their phones? Normally so they can’t hear? Or up to their ear, so then the other person on the phone can’t really hear them speaking, AND they look dumb. WHICH IS IT I MUST KNOW

Jade and Floyd mix in random mermaid slang with their regular speech. HSHEJHE imagine. Imagine just hearing “awww shrimpy you’re acting like a real starfish right now :(“ and then jade just “I must agree with Floyd, he’s saying the seaweed” LIKE WJEGSJVSKDHD IMAGINE. Oh my god- no because imagine being like “do you think this outfit is cute?” “Yeah I think you look absolutely stingray.” HSVEKEBS worst part about it is Floyd uses it the most and when you’re like “Floyd. Floyd why did you call me a pile of dried up and grey coral :(?” He just doesn’t explain, and keeps using it, and you don’t know of you should be flattered?? Or offended.

Lilia is an avid league of legends player. I’m correct. Don’t say I’m not. I don’t even play league of legends and yet I’m gonna headcanon Lilia as a league fan. Because, I am correct. (He also probably is a fan of guilty gear, and Elfen ring but you didn’t hear it from me)

Mkay now Sebek , Idia, and azul, are the type of people, that whenever their crush is around or whatever, they are absolutely not responsive. Literally freeze. Now with Idia after like a few minutes of trying to get him to respond, it’s a 50/50 chance (that you will lose.) that hell either run away and hide, or if you’re lucky he’ll actually try to say something to you before he gets too nervous and just leaves KEGEJS. Azul on the other hand will freeze, not responsive for like two seconds, then “oh prefect I didn’t know you’d be here.” “You’re right in front of my dorm.” “Oh.”. AND SEBEK JUST COMPLETELY DOESNT RESPOND AND LEAVES BEFORE YOU CAB SAY ANYTHING TO HIM WJEGKEGEKE

I like to think epel and riddle are close friends. They both have weirdly fiery, and yet calm personalities, and I think epel would make a BEAUTIFUL apple tart for riddle a lot. Like imagine all the details in the apples, cause he carved into them, and omg I would respectfully devour an apple tart made by epel. But I also wouldn’t… cause it’s so pretty :’)

Vil has a separate MagiCam account dedicated to fitness. And, AND cater follows it. Why? Because it’s “super aesthetic” (in reality it’s to encourage himself to work out cause vil is like obviously super strong and successful so like working out and being athletic MUST have something to do with that.) (cater also never works out SJSGEJE)

[xplrvibes]

Im watchibg the first conjuring episode now (sorry if ive already said that) and its so sweet how they sit down just snc and sam immediately asks colby how he’s feeling

Im seeing everything now thru a new lens knowing sam is the guide and colby is the psychic and my hunch about it is literally fact and like an actual thing

ugh my heart.

- aussie anon

Sidenote that has nothing to do with anything: I had to dig out my laptop to answer this, cause the tumblr mobile app is lagging hardcore for me today. Anyone else having issues?

I've always thought it was interesting how often they get "Colby" or "Cole" during an Estes session. They get "Sam" too, but that's such a common name that I could see that being said on the radio quite often so that one coming through quite a bit doesn't surprise me - but how many Cole/Colbys are really out there on the radios waves across the US/Canada/Europe??

My opinion on the Estes, by the way, is not that it's an actual spirit coming through and speaking over the waves, for the most part - it's clearly bits and pieces of radio stations coming through for a second here and there - but rather, the person under the Estes session is almost being used as a psychic tool in a way to hear things from those radio waves that need to be heard in order to get the message across/out (hence why some people are better at it than others - Colby vs the girl that wasn't Rae whose name I forgot, sorry during the last video was a good visual representation of that). But having said that, Colby's name coming through as often as it does is just weird cause there cannot be that many ways to say "Colby" on the radio, so maybe it's a mix of radio waves and actual voices?

I don't know. Regardless, it's a collaborative effort between the person going under, the spirits, and the radio waves to make it all happen, is what I say.

Anyway, I love how casual Colby was about his name being said mixed with the word "kill" cause I would not have been as casual lol.

I don't remember anymore which Conjuring video has Colby getting locked in the basement and straight panicking, and Sam running back to the house and just going "oh he's probably freaking out right now" and yelling Colby's name as if Colby could hear him (I think that was the second video?), but that's another good Sam the Worrywart moment - although he ruins it by coming in and immediately thinking Colby was lying about the door being locked.

Man has some trust issues lol.

But the thing that made the very first Conjuring video stand out to me was their Estes sessions in the basement - Colby having an actual and legit panic attack halfway through and the stuff both of them were getting in their sessions was clearly something just fucking with them in a very unhelpful way and it had such a creepy creepy vibe to it. I didn't love the last series they did back in October, for a lot of reasons, but that first Conjuring video they did is really deserving of all of the attention and views it got.

Also, as far as fanfic is concerned - hey, write away! Maybe it's cause I've been on the internet for a long time and spent way too many years in the SPN trenches, but I think there's way worse things that can be written than just a standard RPF fic (wincest comes to mind). I think there are areas where it can get weird (and I think talking to snc themselves about it is ALWAYS a no-no and too far across the line), but for the most part, fics are fics. Write what makes you happy!

[tonydaddingham]

hope you're good!!!✨ i did get your first one but no matter! very good thanks! you? oh well. i've lost a few emails to the connection in the last few days so i figured just in case.

also thank you re: the amv, haha!!! i ended up doing another using The Darkness, but your suggestion of using Original Sin is inspired, ive put it on the list!!! as for being on the nose... well, i did one to lewis capaldi's heavenly kind of state of mind, so make of that what you will! you're welcome! it really is fantastic! (as are your others; i'm looking forward to the abba one.) lol true about heavenly kind of state of mind and original sin is just such a good song.

i completely agree with your remarks on the implications of god... feels incongruous with other aspects of god's characterisation or indeed the theme of the story - to my interpretation, anyway. yes to this entire paragraph. absolutely celebrate everyone writing whatever they want and god getting increasingly frustrated as increasingly ludicrous fanfic like matchmaking schemes keep failing is potentially hilarious but in my opinion it doesn't work with god or the story at large for her to be involved in things.

i also love the metaphorical imagery, the poetry, of crowley being the question, and aziraphale being the answer (this sparks narrative analytical joy). oooo yes that is great imagery. i agree that free will has to be the plan and aziraphale and crowley do represent that in a way but i think that might be - from god's perspective not the authorial one - fairly coincidental. like it didn't have to specifically be those two? i don't know. i tend to consider god pretty much entirely a non entity as speculation goes. she narrates and that's it.

whilst that certainly speaks to me as being his behaviour, im not personally convinced that is his motive. i think the motive question might end up going round and round in circles once you start digging into it. where do we exactly put the line between 'god wants' and 'i want' to establish a starting point? i don't think he's trying to undermine her authority. i do think he's trying to take/has already taken over heaven but maybe he thinks that's what god would want him to do. she's not talking so he's just going to have to defer to his own judgement of what god's will is and his own desires are certainly influencing that judgement extensively. to what degree he's aware of this? tricky question if you ask me. i prefer him to be fully aware and nonetheless certain that he's doing the divinely approved good/right thing but that really is just personal preference and you do make a good case for the reverse. might just call it a mix of both and give up on the details before i accidentally talk myself into a paradox.

for me, it's the specific, simplified concept that moral absolutism doesn't exist. noone is completely evil, just as noone is wholly good. good point! this is why i agree that the metatron should think he's doing the right/good thing (even if he fulfills the function of the major villain). i guess i just feel like a bit more self awareness might give him more agency?

it would make sense, to me, for this to extend to metatron this whole paragraph also makes a very good point. i said above that he thinks he's doing the right/good thing but might it be more accurate that he believes he's doing the necessary thing? that he needs to put himself in power and do all these reprehensible things because it's the only way to preserve heaven and with it god's will and the concept of 'goodness'? that could open up a bunch of things around the end justifying the means.

i think both absolutely could be correct, a mix of them - for me, the former being personal against metatron's motive, and the latter against his character. don't have anything to add here i'm afraid; just wanted to say i like this a lot!

his questions, i think again for me it makes for a more compelling character arc that crowley has existed throughout his fall and being a demon as not getting any answers you're probably right here narratively speaking. i got attached to the whole serpent thematic but the more i think about it that does also work with just questions. the serpent only opens up the path to knowledge without directly partaking of it themself after all. and the wrong questions are still dangerous. maybe even more so than the answers.

albeit, i have a feeling that the answer will essentially be that there are no answers, and it's 'up to each of you to find your own ones' oh yeah. definitely.

thoughts [about the demons]? hmmm. i'm inclined to say seeing more demons asking questions is just because we're seeing more demons now. not to mention hastur and ligur were fairly major antagonists (and i'm not yet convinced hastur isn't coming back!). it's the same as muriel to me. just because heaven and hell are absolutely terrible it doesn't mean all angels and demons are so we're now getting nicer characters on both sides to show this and balance out each side's antagonists. as for why the short-staffing: i like the idea that demons are just defecting but i think maybe something's wrong in hell? shax tells crowley beelzebub 'put some of the lesser demons on half rations'. this is a new aka post armageddon development so presumably pre armageddon hell had enough resources for everyone to be getting full rations. now there's less demons around than before but less resources per demon. of course i'm assuming that the half rations is because of lack of resources and not some other reason like punishment but I don't think that's an unreasonable assumption to make: when eric keep interrupting to draw attention to the lack of demons he also points out that they won't be able to take the large transporter which seems like a resources issue as well. it's almost like something's draining hell. i haven't the foggiest how or what or why but i'm pretty sure it'll matter next season.

i meant 'conclusive' haha!!! ah ok. that makes a lot more sense then and in that case i agree. the archangels aren't innocent but they're not as bad as the metatron either.

but the bottom line - as i see it - for them is to preserve heaven. we can view their actions as deplorable, and that is true, but in their unique circumstances, what other action would, could, or should they have taken? i refer back to my thoughts above on moral absolutism and its place - if it has any - in GO and its characters. yep! it's very likely the archangels think what they're doing - including the things they do to maintain their power (and they infight and try to exercise power over each other but they always present a united front to other angels) - are necessary. though as i said in ny last ask i'm not sure that doesn't make them more dangerous. righteousness is, shall we say, not good.

re: memory of their time as angels, this is where i largely fluctuate on how much i subscribe to the memory wipe theory - but i don't think it's a full wipe, but potentially partial? oof. yeah there's something happening with memory but the details?

but i think perhaps that the memory wipe is attributable more to the BOL than to the metatron himself - i do think there's potentially a link between falling/erasure of grace and divinity, and to memories of being an angel gabriel though. he was going to have his memory erased - depending on whether putting it in the fly was just backup or full removal, did - while staying an angel. i feel like tht might counter the fall/memory loss connection.

as for demons not being aware of a wider issue, that's a fair point - but do demons really talk to each other? wouldn't that indicate a weakness, vulnerability? if there is a large-scale memory problem going on, which is a very tentative thought anyway, im not sure that any of the demons would in fact talk to others about it. true and why i didn't discount the collateral damage option after the first season. though if it happened to everyone it might have been acknowledged in company policy? just another part of falling. like i said i really think it might be something that happened only to crowley because of whatever specific role he played and not a large scale operation. if we can trust his drunken ramble he still remembers the act of falling itself just not what led up to it and that i would tentatively hazard the other demons do based on what we see and hear from them. p.s. this doesn't really properly fit into my speculation but i still wanted to say it: 'we are the fallen. never forget that.' 'it's not the kind of thing you forget.' gains a certain kind of irony if there's as many holes in crowley's memory as i suspect.

i have my #halo theory wherein i wonder if aziraphale was the specific angel to actually declare the war in heaven ok that is a very interesting idea for parallels and mirroring. first he declares the war in heaven, then he introduces war to humanity and finally he declares war in hell defending the bookshop in episode six. rule of three. *pauses* oh shit. and hereby i just found a narrative argument for having the scapegoat theory apply to both pre fall and present day crowley. awcw get scapegoated for the fall, the serpent of eden gets scapegoated for the fall of man and crowley gets scapegoated for whatever happens with the second coming/the still unresolved declaration of war on hell. rule of three. that of course would set them up for not only mirroring/paralleling their own story arcs but also as counterpoints to each other. ok this possibility fascinates me. might need to think on it more and then get back to you about it later! and then of course there's the characterisation element of carrying the weight of that kind of guilt around, which is plenty interesting in its own right, not to mention could add another layer to him accepting the metatron's offer.

i absolutely love your interpretation of crowley's inner conflict, i think that's so well put, and i like it a lot!!! i certainly don't think crowley is willfully ignorant or in denial of his potential part in his own - or the wider - fall, but perhaps just doesn't want to examine or confront it, as you said... or perhaps doesn't remember altogether, and has just cobbled together why he thinks he fell. firstly, thanks! i tend to the latter option, but think the internal conflict/fear of finding himself to be evil would work with either especially if we lean into the scapegoat theory which does also work with either.

but similarly, i think it's also fair to assess crowley as having some measure of the same mentality as he did before he fell; that he can be quite blinkered, self-assured, and at times quite arrogant. yep! though - without trying to excuse it away - i do wonder how much of it's also a defence mechanism at this point.

and please, please do not think im hating on him - critique of a character does not mean i dislike him or find him reprehensible, i promise; it's quite the opposite honestly!!! no worries, i absolutely do no think that! if that's how my p.s. came across i'm very sorry. absolutely not my intention. i enjoy your analyses so it was just a passing thought i had that it'd probably be interesting to see you discuss an aspect of the story and/or characters you don't talk about as much; i find it usually is when people do. (you can blame the history teacher i had in my last few years of school for that lol. she was big on that sort of thing and i guess it just stuck with me.)

the narrative would still hold and be profound if it were the other way around. just personally i like the idea of him being a heavenly Nobody to becoming a hellish Somebody is rather compelling!!!✨ fair enough. i think there's definitely great things you could do with either so i'm more than happy to just sit back and see where it'll go. 🦭

hey 🦭 anon, lovely!!!✨💕 two gorgeously long and complex asks (second under the cut) - gosh, where to start!!!

okay let's get cracking with the first!!!

the abba one has been placed on hold for the time being (inspiration did not vibe with me for it BUT another is in the works and is actually shaping up to be a Slap so stay tuned!!!)

i agree with you re: metatron, i think his motive is going to be somewhat cyclical, and mutually inclusive - to be motivated in what he determines as 'good' and as decreed by god by lack of any other instruction, and to be in his own selfish or narcissistic interests - can and i think probably will exist simultaneously.

i don't think he necessarily would be unaware of what he's doing, per se, but more that he's convinced that as the voice of god, whatever he thinks and does is sanctified as being god's will (because god hasnt told him otherwise) and is done in the name of preserving heaven - and, by extension, the balance of good and evil. therefore, of course, it must be inherently good.

personally, i don't believe that that would remove any agency from metatron (same as aziraphale who, for all of his questionable decisions, to my mind hasn't lacked agency), even if we would evaluate metatron's actions as being bad or wrong - to him, they truly wouldn't be... but like you said re: necessity, i think metatron would potentially see his actions as necessary, and what is necessary is to uphold the 'good'... so does it therefore remain up to everyone else whether those actions are right or wrong? yes, imo - but it's the context that's key.

i guess the closest i can liken metatron to as a 'villain' type character (and please, mea culpa, im not very imaginative) would be javert from les misérables. the law is created, in his eyes, to uphold justice (good); when that law is broken, he is compelled to mete out that justice (also good). it's not a perfect analogy, and obviously there is compelling context on valjean's part (his parolee papers for time served on a justifiable crime make it impossible for him to start a new life as a free man), but ultimately he broke his parole and the law, and javert, whilst operating in a broken system, is doing what he believes to be the good, right thing.

LOVE your thoughts around hell and the short-staffing/dwindling resource issue. i did some writing around shax a couple of days ago, so in hand with that I'll think on your points a little more, they're excellent ones!!!

re: fall/memory loss - possibly, but i personally don't think so. i did a little bit of speculation around the BOL and saraqael, especially in relation to the trial scene, a while ago - it's probably in my #book of life and #saraqael meta tags, if you wanted a peruse!!! but the batshit thought essentially was: what saraqael has access to, in that scene, was the BOL, and she operates it on behalf of metatron... and did during the fall, too.

re: crowley critique, no no it didn't come across like that at all!!! ive just unfortunately had asks previously where people have questioned whether or not i like him, because ive been quite heavily critical of him, and wondered if i find anything redeemable about him... suffice to say, i feel the need now to ensure that any readers do not think that i dislike him if i point out his more... questionable traits; i just find them way more interesting and compelling in a character than the good ones!!!💕

onto your second ask, and just to clarify - it wasn't my mum, unfortunately!!! (the most insight my mum ever gave on GO was this beauty -

- she gets it).

but regardless!!! first of all, LOVE your speculation and what you've thought out!!! i will honestly need to think on it more before i can come to any kind of conclusion, but i am - and i hope you don't mind - essentially going to use this as a scribble pad for some speculation. some of it is in direct relation to your spec, some is general to the fall/war, and some is just Stuff feeding into it... hope that's okay!!!

could totally see it happening - that AWCW fought on heaven's side, and was made to fall essentially at the last minute/unexpectedly for a reason he doesn't even really know, and had to rationalise after the fact

however, i think that removes, as we've batted back and forth already and in the bit above, a little bit of agency on AWCW's part. i don't think AWCW chose to fall, of course, but i do think that he asked questions/made decisions, and followed through on them/stood by them, that resulted in his becoming a demon, regardless of whether he fell or was pushed

agree that hell can't make angels fall; it doesn't make sense, and i refer back to my thoughts/theory on BOL on this

also hard-agree that, without the memory-wipe theory in play, it doesn't make any sense for AWCW to have answers to dangerous (?) questions, because of the risk he'd pose once fallen. it would make far more sense, like they planned with gabriel, to just simply wipe his memory and demote him to a lesser choir*. so i think that's where, personally, i simply do think that he just didn't get any answers at all

now this all could arguably skew the scapegoat theory, but not necessarily, because the idea that he could have been scapegoated by his own 'friends' still stands, imo

my conclusion at the moment, but it will still require more thought for definite, is that i don't think it will have been the case - i think in a way it would feel a little overcomplicated, and whilst devastating i think would erase some of crowley's accountability for his decisions... not necessarily bad decisions! but decisions nonetheless.

*this has just precipitated the unfortunate thought (unfortunate in that it's gone 1:30am and i need to sleep) that - well, what if that was what was meant to happen to crowley??? same as muriel (we speculate), and same as gabriel, he was initially intended to fall but to a lower rank, with no memories, and instead he legged it? like gabriel did? immediately i can think of multiple reasons as to why i don't think this was the case, but... still interesting to think about.

anyway! this response snowballed a bit and for that please have another apology dance 💃 but let me begin with, pure hypothesis, a rough sequence of events re: the fall:

> AWCW and aziraphale meet, he starts asking questions

> meets lucifer and co, AWCW falls in with their little group that does not consider it bad to ask questions, and maybe he reiterates his 'if i were in charge' thought because he feels comfortable to do so amongst them

> lucifer starts getting bolder, as do his closest cohort, about challenging god, and crowley gets swept up in it, or fully agrees with lucifer and actually fully supports him - and aziraphale knows none of this is going on/nothing about AWCW's association with them

> all comes to a head, god nopes out of the whole thing (free will argument), and when things can't be reconciled, war* is declared (👀 at aziraphale and his halo frisbee)

> war, etc., possible temporary ceasefire or lucifer concedes; all the rebels are brought for their Final Judgement before the metatron and the archangels etc

> lucifer implicates AWCW for leading him astray, that he was the one asking questions, and now lucifer has been corrupted or something, idk, but metatron decides all of them need to go - and yet perhaps a particularly harsh punishment is in fact due for AWCW (so yeah, actually, perhaps it is only crowley that doesnt fully remember heaven? that was his own personal punishment, to not remember parts of his time in heaven/the fall?*)

> initiate::Book Of Life Protocol

*now that im writing it out though, i do wonder if that makes sense, that the war would precede the fall...? i think it would, because it seems like the fallen would, well, fall, as punishment for rebellion, and then go off to plot their revenge etc in hell furfur confirms in ep4 that the war/"dubious battle" indeed came "just before" the fall!!! wahoo!!!

*the thing is... in leviticus, there were two goats - sacrificial goat, and the scapegoat. so this is where, i - in equal conviction which is, to say, shaky at best - also personally hold the thought that AWCW might never have been the scapegoat, and instead aziraphale* potentially was - leaving AWCW to be the sacrificial.

this last thought is slightly tangential, but stick with me:

*we know aziraphale was a cherub during the pre-fall scene, and in eden. that doesn't mean that he stayed a cherub in between these points

i recently added some ramblings to this meta on his ring, which i think is the hallmark of the archangel rank - and the fact he wears his on his opposite hand to the others, and constantly covers it, feels very indicative of some unseen backstory

it also feels that him being on earth is an ostracism, a roundabout punishment by way of being cast out but not falling...

and the thing is that genesis 3:24 (KJV) reads the following:

"So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life."

so if aziraphale, as a singular cherub, was placed in eden, it was after the fall of humanity, after original sin. we only see aziraphale arrive to give adam the sword as they were leaving, not beforehand. and after eden, it's suggested, he was demoted to principality (the angelology is debated i know but im sticking with christian/GO-confirmed combination angelology for the moment)

so it can't, to my mind, be because of the apple business that aziraphale was demoted - it's not as if he let the serpent in (if we follow genesis, he arguably wasnt even there at that point). it could be because he gave away his sword, but a) god knows and let him get away with it, and b) neither gabriel nor the quartermaster knew that he gave it away in s1

so what other reason could it have been? well, the only plausible reason i can think of is that it's because he didn't smite crawley when given the opportunity on the wall

others have debated whether or not it was aziraphale telling AWCW about the stars that led to AWCW's fall, and perhaps in point of fact it was... but im not certain that anyone would have known about it, other than them. maybe aziraphale refused to fight (after knowing that AWCW was amongst the other side?), he refused to wield his archangel power in some way (like gabriel refused?), or he actually defended AWCW (personal favourite)?

idk, but either way, whatever he did, he was punished for it with the demotion to cherub, and then demoted again to principality for not smiting the serpent of eden

instead of AWCW being the scapegoat for the fall, was he sacrificed as an example, to atone for fallen, and aziraphale was scapegoated to atone for the fall of humanity? had the blame of not destroying the serpent of eden placed upon him, and was cast into the wilderness (earth)?

i realise how ridiculous it all sounds, believe me, but my sleepiness is now officially winning so i shall leave it there (honestly 🦭 anon, im so sorry for the unrelated ramble, but it's actually so helpful for me to type this out, it helps with understanding what my own theories even are when i write other stuff... so thank you!!!)✨

[aegori]

MY OPINIONS ON MUTANT MAYHEM (spoilers)

remember this is all just MY OPINION. whether you loved the movie or hated it, great, just as long as you give it a chance then whatever you feel about the movie is valid.

(yes i do have a rottmnt pfp but rottmnt is not my first or favorite tmnt, and even tho i am salty that rottmnt is paused ik that mutant mayhem is not the reason why rottmnt got paused in 2020. anything negative i have to say abt mutant mayhem has nothing to do with rottmnt. also this is not the only tmnt i have negative opinions on so please dont think im trying to single this movie out)

the good

the soundtrack, animation, action and character design was amazing.

 i loved the dynamic between the turtles and splinter, they really felt like a family. 

there were moments that were funny. i tally marked the moments i thought were funny and got 12 tallies.

 i enjoy superfly as a villain. the voice acting for superfly was great, the movie really started to improve for me when he was introduced. 

the bad

pop culture references. too many of them. i couldnt help but roll my eyes by the 5th celebrity name drop. i actually tally marked how many pop culture references there were, i mightve missed a few, but there were at least 7 celebrities mentioned and at least 8 pop culture references. it was a bit ridiculous. 

a lot of uncomfortable jokes. things like them speculating what splinters rectum might smell like, talking about being milked and having nipples, the puking, when splinter kissed the roach woman.... yea moments like that that made me wince in the movie theater and while watching at home. i also tally marked this, i was made uncomfortable about 17 times watching this movie. 

the bayverse movies get criticized for having a shitty method of them learning ninjutsu, but i thought mutant mayhem was worse. they learned ninjutsu through youtube videos? i mean maybe its not impossible but it seems a little more silly to me than learning through a book.

the turtles, while yes they do have different personalities, i felt like they were the most similar in this movie, personality wise. it often felt like they were merging into one character, with them constantly talking at the same time, and none of them having much time alone on screen. i had a hard time deciding which turtle i liked the best in the movie, because well they just seemed so similar to each other. 

i have mixed feelings on april. i actually really liked her design. i guess my problem comes from her seeming distant, as ive seen another say. also i hated the puke jokes.

im not sure why, but i felt bored for the majority of the movie. it wasnt until superfly was introduced 45 minutes into the movie where things started to pick up. but i think im in the minority here, as ive only seen one other person say they were bored by the movie. 

the mutants besides superfly were very forgettable. i dont remember any of the new mutants names even after watching for a second time. ofc i do remember bebop and rocksteady, leatherhead, mondo gecko.... but they arent new characters. i also dont like how all the mutants besides superfly are now allies with the turtles. 

i dont like how they are not secret and they start going to high school. i guess theres nothing wrong with it, i just prefer when the turtles are secret. 

ik this seems quite negative, its just easier for me to talk about things i dont like vs the things i do like. 

i thought the movie was decent, i give it a 6/10

i get that a lot of people are protective of this movie, and i understand why. i think that as long as you give it a chance, any opinion you have of it is valid

[twilekd]

#TWILEKD — an independent, private, and highly selective original character from the STAR WARS franchise. Please check out the carrd before following. Below 21* dni.

blogroll. @grandmcff (tarkin), @gunslingd (the ghoul)

CARRD. / PROMO. / PINTEREST. / VERSES.

* disclaimer: if I knew you before the 21+ rule you are fine to follow, but for new followers the 21+ is enforced.

I. This blog is private and follow backs may take me some time to do. I also tend to prefer a low follower count as I like having a clean dash, for it helps with my mental health and related. I ask also that if you are a personal / non-RP blog to not reblog my threads, as it messes up my notifs. Likes and asks however are totally fine! Onto other things my activity is very sporadic and I am normally mobile bound so I rarely get to my laptop. That aside on weekends I usually am not on Tumblr, as I'm out hiking, traveling or spending time with my partner. I have a life outside of Tumblr and do this for fun!!

II. No drama allowed. The block button exists for a reason, and it is something I use. If we break mutuals I will hardblock, if only because with how dysfunctional tumblr is it makes it easier than softblocking and doesn't cause any awkward refollowing on either side. I ask that if you are a bigot of any kind and fit general dni criteria to not follow me. I also refuse to write underage, incest and rape scenarios. Hate anons will be deleted, as will ones wanting to stir drama. Leave me out of it, or DM me personally if you have an issue.

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IV. Unless discussed prior all relationships are in their own universes. I ship with chemistry and do enjoy talking ooc about our muses, as it helps me get an idea of things and how our muses may (or may not) get along! On the topic of NSFW it is something I am not really interested in, but I am not opposed to it. Full blown NSFW will NOT BE WRITTEN ON THIS BLOG. So if that is all you are here for, then please leave. If we do end up getting to a point like that in a thread I ask we do a fade to black sort of thing.

** Little NSFW asks are fine, however I rarely reblog those. Thank you for respecting my opinion on this.

V. Hi! My name is Iggy and you may know me from my old Piett blog (admrl) or my old Tarkin blog (grcndmoffs). I have been in the Star Wars fandom / RPC for a few years, but only recently have returned to it. Truthfully Star Wars is a big comfort to me, and it is very nice to be back here again. Onto other things, my Discord is @cic8a if you wish to get into contact with me. I only ask that you tell me who you are if you add me so I know! My Tumblr IMs are open to all who may need anything or need someone to talk to, as is the anon feature. Just please do not abuse that feature, for I will turn it off if it is and that just ruins it for everyone.

VI. This being said onto triggers. I tag triggers as 'trigger /', and know that very dark and triggering content will be present on this blog. Mun does not equal muse, and I ask that if you EVER need anything tagged to please let me know. I tag everything I think could possibly upset someone, as I wish for my blog to be a safe spot for all. Thank you so much for reading this far. Ily

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[thecherrygod]

Do you ever wake up from a dream and you know you're gonna have a day™

i feel like ive had a similar dream to this one a few times ago but also i feel like i have deja vus in dreams sometimes so im unsure. either deja vus or a moment of lucid dreaming that doesnt last enough, but i also tend to have recurring dreams so who knows, also if i think i know why something is happening in the dream i will put my opinion lmao anyways.

so. i was waiting for a bus, apparently the 125 (which is a mix of the two buses i usually took from my house, before we moved, to go to a few places) with the first friend i made in elementary school, who happens to be in three dreams ive had this month, also there were my first crush and some other guy. in theory we were going each to our houses, but instead i got on an appartment

in theory from what i think is another dream, i could just go to this woman for therapy whenever i felt it necessary, like just walk in and thats it. also if i couldnt pay her in money i could pay her in yogurt for some reason. so im just there, going as if i own the place, walking stairs in a white beige sterile looking building, and then entering the office, with a voice in the back of my head going 'you should have knocked' but i was already halfway through the door (ive been going through it kinda and thinking i should get therapy so i believe thatswhy i dream of going to therapy dhsdghdsgd)

at that moment im not me anymore, im some blonde woman with long hair, theres noise in there, the therapist talking to someone, and sounds like a baby. apparently she had a child not that long ago and it was there but in another room in the office thing. and so the blonde kind of. sits on the floor. lays there, talking to the therapist and apparently she therapist was gonna 'check their fortune' or future or something, in my brain what made sense is that the blonde was pregnant and the therapist was gonna tell her about her future child. also there was a tv in the room and it had a movie or something that was starring the blonde. apparently the movie was called something similar to 'degberaux' or something. im sure it ended in beraux but it started with a b and had a g in there too but... its unclear.

after that im me again and im in some sort of classroom thats empty except for someone who we used to be friends and it ended up badly and while its bc both of us i do feel very guilty about it. i sorta try to both ignore and aknoweledge her, first i sit on the complete opposite side of her, we have a hesitant small talk, in which i sit closer to her but from an angle i cant really see her face, and we talk a bit more but nothing else. more people start filling the room, a girl that went to school with me that i promised i was gonna invite her to my house to play videogames but i never did good on that promise (more guilt it seems lmao) and i talk more with her. i notice shes drawing some sort of comic with neat line art and i ask her about it, if its her own story and stuff. she says yes, shows me the pages which are mostly trees and plants and a single panel with a guy, and while im looking she says that shes been doing them like this bc her computer broke down and couldnt work on it digitally and was worried she forgot completely how that worked (something that literally happened to me last year so i know where that comes from)

then i am just. back at the therapists office, this time im me again, but now completely distraught, very stressed and at the verge of tears partially just bc paying therapy in yogurt is making me feel that even if that was the therapists idea. theres a kitchen table in the office, it has like.. holes in it but under the wholes its like theres sand under the table so you can still let things on the table with no risk of them actually falling to the floor. so i am attempting to pay my therapy session. with yogurt. its a 6 pack of creamy vanilla yogurt specifically from a brand from here which is common but relatively good quality, and i look at it from the outside, the. bowl or whatever now kinda transparent. and i begin panicking more, its barely there inside, and it looks brownish, kinda rotten, as if it was consuming itself, and i begin opening them and my therapist doesnt complain about that shes just kinda confused but like 'ah its fine ill eat them all together' and im like 'no. you wont. look at them. its. bad' so she looks over my shoulder and goes '... oh. the yogurt died' (i think this is because ive been spiralling the last few days bc of mayo for a few reasons tbh)

so yeah. the yogurt died. i was paying therapy in yogurt and the yogurt. died. so i just broke down. i started properly crying. at first she didnt know if she should aproach me but i guess she felt bad and did give me a hug which also sorta helped me calm down but i was also calming down bc irl i dont cry more than like 5 tears except i reach a specific point of breakdown also about the hug. i believe it to be unproffesional afaik but in the dream it was sort of comforting and also i think that whenever i get hugged in dreams i just do cry a lot which. man i think thats its own situation lmao) after that my phone was a bit stuck on one of the holes in the table and shes laughing a bit like 'im not so sure how youre gonna take it off there haha.. good luck' and i just put my hand in there and take it out almost like a puzzle piece with just a bit of force but nothing too difficult.

after that im now in a dining table surrounded by guys that have been classmates at different points in my life. just sorta talking. at this point is where i know that i have therapy whenever i want it/need it bc one of the guys that went to highschool with me (and got himself into an alcohol indused coma during out graduation party) had killed multiple people and im not sure if dream me had actually seen it happening with my own eyes or not but i got the image of blood splatters there as a memory so maybe)

after that we are leaving. its night, everything is dark, also the atmosphere is tense and a bit.. scary? maybe just bc its night. i am leaving with a girl. idk who, its almost like she could have been any of the three friends that i had seen before, or maybe all of them in one, im not really sure. and i think 'fuck i didnt say goodbye to my therapist properly' and i get a bit anxious but also full of guilt so i ask the girl to wait for me, ill go do that real quick.

i find my therapist, shes just there in a room that feels like a greenhouse mixed with an attic, kinda dark but since its made of glass you can see bc of outside lights. i get close like 'ma'am i am so sorry i didnt properly say goodbye to you and i also wanted to thank you' but she seems distant, cold, and maybe a bit angry. i still go back in for a hug and i am in fact tearing up again. she pats me in the back like when someone just gives you the quickest hug so it doesnt last a lot but you still know its sorta okay even tho maybe not fully okay. after that she breaks the hug and says 'if you are acting like this it means i am doing a good job' and she just. leaves. i try to follow her bc well im unwell i dont think i should be alone and it felt like she was abandoning me

so i get close to her, she looks at me how youd look at an animal, a pet, thats just following you everywhere, but also a bit.. disappointed at my behavior? and then when im about to fully reach her i woke up

[hexhomos]

hi! i love your jayce takes so much hes been one of my faves for years now so it always makes me happy to read ppl talk abt him! may i ask what reason do you think jayce had for not backing up viktor with the whole blitzcrank situation? ive always thought it was something like. shrugs. jayce vc 'not my problem' but i love hearing abt others peoples opinions abt this very specific bit lol

This feels like one of these questions w/ multiple answers tbh.

The easy answer:

The writing team wants to make sure you know there is an "escalation" of their conflict, so we go by rule of threes: the problem starts by omission (jayce fails to intervene), develops into friction (jayce intervenes with the diving suits, to stupid results), and then settles into rancor (viktor comes to collect a debt with the crystal, they do not see eye to eye, it all blows up even more catastrophically). Via this setup, you don't necessarily Need to dig into why a character has slipped down the rocks the first time- if they do it thrice, you're building a pattern. You are communicating to the audience that they are a person prone to Slipping Down The Rocks. The important part is that it fits, and even more so retroactively.

The "ok let's get in the headspace" answer:

Jayce’s reputation as an asshole feeds into him consciously or subconsciously reinforcing the image of "Being An Asshole" again and again. It's already how people refer to him and what people expect of him, he's grown used to it so far, so what would be the point of bursting golden-hearted pollyanna this late in the game and pledging faith in the one *other* guy everyone else is against? Would it even truly help? When he's accusing a professor? It might be worse.

Full disclosure: I don't think he knows why he did it either. He's definitely aware that it was a dickhead move, but he's also not the kind of guy who'll ever admit he got paralyzed in the face of fear (or at least not without pushing), so it's not like I'm giving him an easy way out for him here. If asked? He’d probably default to rationalizing it as ‘not my problem’ 100%. But… we know full well that he feels massively guilty about it. You really just have to look at these textbits from his runeterra expansion featuring Jayce + one of the forge workers currently working with him (Axel)

And you can basically taste the way he has been manhandling the conversation towards not letting the same mistake happen twice, even when their superiors want him to be the Head Genius. (IMHO this is also perfectly in line with how jayce talis refers to hextech as a shared dream; i like to think of them as made up of the same character putty but environmental development molded them differently. Nurture vs nature etc. He *wants* viktor to be there - but it seems like he’s the only one who does.)

It's a mixed bag. Jayce sucks at communicating and communicating publicly is even worse. But he could have tried; and that's the point of it being a tip-of-the-iceberg mistake.

[mazojo]

Winter 2021 Anime Opinions

As always its that time of the year I pretend to be an anime connoisseur and leave my review on this seasons anime so take it with a grain of salt asdfgh from the one I enjoyed the least to the most.

Wave!!: Surfing Yappe!! (TV)

You are seeing currently the only probably best thing about Wave asdfghj Tanaka bby I am SO sorry you got stuck here,,,,, Its bad because I had so many expectations for Wave but it just...... isn’t very good? The characters feel 2 dimensional, animation is veeeery average and the plot is all over the place? Dont even get me started on the Shou situation plot device that they just brushed over and went on with and,,,,,big sigh

Urasekai Picnic

To be honest is not very fair to compare this one to the rest as ive only watched the first 2 eps but ill catch up eventually asdfghj its not bad just that the plot didnt capture me as much as I hoped but the two main characters cutiess the plot just confuses me asdfgh but I don't have much to say about it

Yakusoku no Neverland 2nd Season

So uh anyways Chile I don't wanna talk about it the only reason this is not dead last is because RayEmma cute moments but yeah don't watch this clown show go read the manga for self care ✨

Jaku-Chara Tomozaki-kun

The only reason this is here is because she. The main girl I cant remember the name of sucks and main dude is very normal asdfgh the plot is basically “Want people to like you? change everything about yourself and become a normie robot!!!” ASDFGHJ Like its so over the top and cringe at times it becomes very confusing but hey I am not caught up either so I may change opinions (x doubt tho)

2.43: Seiin Koukou Danshi Volley-bu

From this point onwards I basically like everything. 2.43 Started suuuuper strong for me, definitely thought it would be one of my favs this season but as the eps went by I just.... kinda lost interest asdfgh? Like its not bad, but its a sort of mix between Stars Align and Haikyuu where I would have loved a more character based story with dark subplots like Stars Align but got the parts I always criticize about Haikyuu were there was a point I didn't really knew any of the characters? ASDFGH like the enemy team is super cool and Love their designs but if you ask me to tell you anything about them I already forgot rip. Its still cute and the animation is cool but yeah it kind of disappointed me in the end a bit ;w;

Shingeki no Kyojin: The Final Season

AOT Is so sexci because it keeps on hurting me and I come back every-time for it ASDFGHJ Not much to say that hasn't been said, characters are super interesting, plot is a bit confusing at times for me to follow but amazing and I just :))) could go on about certain characters :))))) but I wont :))))

Wonder Egg Priority

Wonder egg priority is very talked about right now so I wont get too much into it other than definitely give it a watch if you like the more philosophical and “makes you reflect on your life choices” sort of anime ASDFGHJ the visuals are stunning and the characters very well build, although I am very confused at times I am still enjoying it tons ^^ Trigger warning however for some heavy topics I recommend checking the warnings before watching it <3

Kemono Jihen

I LOVE THEM OKaY? asdfghjk Kemono Jihen gives me the found family topes and I eat them all right up, I love the characters , their designs, the plot, everything. To be fair tho, I did enjoy the manga more than the anime but maybe its a pacing thing? idk but I definitely recommend 100% taking on the manga and maybe after watch the anime but I am enjoying it tons!!

Kai Byoui Ramune

This one may come as a surprise lol?? Like I haven't seen a single soul talk about Ramune but like??? I am actually enjoying it a lot?? and look forward every week for the ep? asdfghj Like yes I will be the first to admit the animation isn't really the beeeeest out there but the plot is funny while also being serious, the characters are quirky and interesting to keep the flow going and I am liking the undertone heavy messages? the soundtrack also slaps imo and yeah I would definitely say to watch the first ep and if you like that sort of dynamic take it up on the rest!

I★Chu: Halfway Through the Idol

Okay I will be the first one to admit this is just me being trash for the idol shows but like?? its my list so I get to decide which found family I am screaming about next ASDFGHJ. As an avid A3 stan this gave me serious vibes of my boys (plus they were made form the same company so like not very surprised there loll) and like I think the characters are cute with adorable relationships and cute songs and its just a lighthearted show I sit down every Wednesday and smile through the 25 minutes so yes I Chu deserves a high spot and yes I recommend it even if it has like a 6.3 on myanimelist sksksks

Dr. Stone: Stone Wars

Look at Gen!!!! enough reasons to watch dr stone!!!! ASDFGH but in all seriousness I....... love them okAy? The plot is amazing and the characters are super entertaining (hiiii Ukyo Gen Senku and Chrome muak) and although it may seem a bit slower paced than first season the arc is gonna get better and better and the finale is gonna be great if they stick to the manga. Only sad that I dont get to see my pirate fuckboy but we better be getting a third season

Bungou Stray Dogs Wan!

when I say this is the happiness of all my Tuesdays I ain’t even exaggerating ASDFGHJ Does this have an important plot? no. Is it transcending to animation? not really. Is it BSD content I've been starving for? absolutely!!! Tbh I see my favorite anime characters in chibi version and I go feral, go watch BSD pogg!!

Horimiya

Me?? searching for that one gif of the side ship scene am obsessed over?? more likely than you think ASDFGH Horimiya holds a special place in my heart because it was the first manga I ever read and the nostalgia is stroNG,,,,,, The plot isn't anything really transcending but the way the characters are captured the feelings just,,,,,, stan!! Also Yuki x Tooru supremacy !

Skate-Leading☆Stars

Okaaaaay this is also me being a bitch for sports anime but like, again, are we surprised?? ASDFGHJ It may be my love for Hayato speaking but ive absolutely loves Skate Leading Stars, I love the group, the main characters, the ships, the routines and its so pretty and they are in love and like the competition and asdfgh its gOoD OKaY??? Watch it if anything for Hayato 👉🏻 👈🏻 My bastard bitch I love the gremlin.

Beastars 2nd Season

I think we are all sleeping on Beastars brushing it off as a furry show. I don’t speak enough about it and I am not one to go about poetic cinemaness on main but beastars is a very poetic cinema show and yall sleeping on it. Coming from someone who was uncomfortable at first with the whole animal relationships part at first, just know beastars is so much more than that, it has a complicated plot with critics about the society within the show with amazing characters, great soundtrack and animation plus banger plot. Pina, Jack, Juno and Legoshi best characters and every week I look forward for the next eps so I hope yall go give it some love.

SK8 The Infinity

If it wasnt clear from my spam every Saturday that I am absolutely in love with this show I dont know what to tell you ASDFGHJ. Sk8 has an amazing range of characters I find fascinating, specially Reki, very much so everything Reki asdfgh but yeah!! Its super entertaining with an interesting plot and its definetely becoming one of my favorite animes because the amount of times ive rewatched the episodes to cope is kind of embarrassing lmaooo, definetely give it a try although I understand its not for everyone but like,,,,, do it for Reki? 🤧👉🏻👈🏻

[shoezuki]

Tommy's prison/revival arc isnt well written actually

Anyways ive been wanting to talk on it a while for a bit here but havent had the Time or like. The thought to. But im gonna go off now.

First off im gonna say im ASSUMING this stream and plot of tommy being in the prison with dream is written entirely by tommy and dream. Wilbur May be involved in the latest stream but im not sure.

Bringing tommy back to life after only three days of him being dead did practically nothing to progress plot, the characters, or audience's understanding. In fact i feel that it damaged Other characters' potential and plot and already established plotlines.

The 'development' aspect

A really, really easy way to see if anything has changed or developed through an arc or plotline is to straightup just compare the 'beginning' to the 'end' in terms of the barebones situation. So;

Beginning: tommy is trapped in an isolated prison cell with dream, his own abuser who has hurt him in the past, for an unknown amount of time. He's terrified of dream and being stuck there with him.

End: tommy is trapped in an isolated prison cell with dream after being killed then revived by him, his own abuser whos hurt him in the past, for an unknown amount of time. Hes terrified of dream and being stuck there with him.

Okay. This is simplified obvious. But the point stands. ALTHOUGH the troupe of 'going back to the beginning' is common in the heroes journey its. It doesnt work here. Has tommy learned anything? Has he changed as a character? Is the severity of their situation any different? Have we, as the audience, learned anything new?

Im going to expand on that last point because i think it has the strongest potential argument. Technically for progression in literature and development of plot/characters, things can Change without them being Aware as characters. It can change just by the audience's perception changing or being challenge.

Slight example: i've been reading a webcomic called Your Throne. Its a fantasy/political drama about a noble lady who entered a competition with another noble lady to become the empress. The main lady lost despite her being a better fit, and the comic starts with the main lady trying to assassinate the empress. Its assumed and stated by the main lady that she 'ruined her life' and so thats all the readers know. However, later in the novel we see flashbacks to the competition itself and find that the two ladies were extremely close friends, neither wanting anything bad for the other, but it was the emperor himself who manipulated both of them for his own agenda. Those flashbacks gave us an entirely different idea of who the real antagonist is and completely changed the two main ladies' relationship. THAT is how the audience's understanding of the plot and novel can be used to change the entire story. We dont get such here though

Some things that were brought to light during tommy being dead/revived:

Dream is capable of reviving people infinitely

This was already implicated and assumed. The book dream has being a means of reviving people has been around Technically since schlatt's death. This just 'confirmed' what was known

Time works differently/feels longer in the afterlife

This doesnt really impact much beyond emotions and implications. If we had more insight into what the 'afterlife' is like beyond nothingness perhaps so. But really it just makes it so wilbur being dead for what feels like 9 years and tommy having been dead for 2 months appeal to emotions.

Wilbur is evil

This one fuckin sucks i cant lie HSKSHSISSGEGDV. Like i was gon go on bout it and i will but it jus sucks. We have nothing to go on besides tommy's word, no examlles of what Horrible things wilbur said could make tommy assume this, etcetc. Ill most likely make a seperate post on how this feels like we're just going to get 'wilbur is a horrible villain' type with him. But still. I feel wilbur Not Being Good isnt a new development.

Dream is going to revive wilbur

This doesnt feel new either, part because phil had wanted to revive wilbur before (ill get to that more later) and that tommy had kept dream alive/initially imprisoned him with the idea of him reviving wilbur.

Dream believes wilbur will break him out of prison

Okau this makes no sense to me actually. I cwnt understand How exactly wilbur would be able to do this? Or why dream believes he even Could? Mans been dead for like 9 years and all we Know of the afterlife is that its black... nothingness. How would 9 years of that make wilbur capable of busting the prison open?

So. Yeah. All in all this plotline hasnt done anything new, developed things, or altered people's perceptions. We just ended up back at square one. Back to tommy being traumatized, dream being 'evil' and horrible and doing villain monologues, and them being stuck together.

Other characters and plotlines

Im pretty damn sure tommy's revival fucked up a LOT of other characters' plotlines and potential development. Honestly i feel this has a lot to do with the writers not communicating with other ccs well enough. But Ill talk about specific characters from least to most fucked over in my opinion:

Sam

He's the best off. He hqd been there during tommy's death, had been close to tommy, had majorly blamed himself and his own mistakes for tommy's death. His grief and self hatred was actually really heartbreaking and well done. The attached character of Sam Nook being unaware of tommy's death and simply waiting for tommy to return was a really good parallel to sam's own grief and anger. like it really snapped sam the guy who cares for tommy and wants to do Right by him back together with him as the Warden of the prison. Mixed personal life with 'just business'.

I feel it wouldve been nice to have him like. Have more time to grieve properly and come to terms eith tommy's death and his own involvement/influence over the events. Him finding tommy alive again Could be a means of him like. Facing his own grief head on if done well.

Ranboo

Mostly in the context of him and sam's argument do i feel it got screwed over. The weight of them yelling at each other and trying to find who to blame and the implications that Maybe ranboo was the one who caused the security breach that closed down the prison on tommy just.... doesnt hit so hard anymore. Because how can there be blame and arguments and a 'who done it' mystery when tommy popped up all fine again?

Puffy

I dony know much of her involvement or how she found out tommy died (besides metagaming shhhhh) but i saw her monologuing of how they 'failed' tommy and like. Her whole 'he was so young we the Adults failed him' spiel is like........... inconsequential? Now??? Like no dont worry he died but hes alright now.

Philza

BET YOU DIDNY EXPECT TO SEE THIS FUCKER!!!!!! But actually though i want to talk bout how this ties into phil. A LOT. for Zalbr ❤. But also because i see ppl tying phil to tommy's death n like nah shutup u doin it wrong. Ill go off more in a Wilbur Post. But essentially: i dont like that dream is now going to revive wilbur. I feel they arent going to tie philza into this Despite phil having originally been trying to revive his son and studying on it and Attempting and Failing. But now suddenly dream can just. Say some magic words and Poof wilbur lives? So we're just going to Kill philza's revival attempts plotline and leave that hanging? This made his efforts seem pointless and Wack like oh why didnt you just Say The Magic Words phil????

Niki

I feel really bad for niki. She hasnt been able to do a lore stream during tommy's 'death' (she tweeted she wanted to but her computer wasnt working) and considering her entire character.... that shit is important. We seen it with Jack Manifold how tommy's death impacted Him considering he literally wanted tommy dead. And since niki is in a similar boat to jack of trying to kill tommy and it being her Only goal...... thats extremely important.

BUT. i feel there wasnt any communication. Did she or anyone even know tommy would be revived? Did no one consider they could At Least let her do a single stream on it? Like jack manifold????

We couldve gotten a Really good niki lore stream. I genuinely was so excited for it and i dont regularly watch her. But we seen it with jack manifold which is why i dont feel he got screwed because mans genuinely did So Good he could pop off with anything n i think it works in His favour. But now........ for niki. Canonically she never even knew tommy was Dead. So its like nothing even happened for her. Is she just supposed to continue on trying to kill tommy with no progression?

What i think would work

This is more me being like 'hey @ the dsmp writers let me in' type speculation sbosegussgs. But i was thinkin on a Really easy way to 'fix' this without rewriting lore and the streams.

Dream should kill tommy again now that he's been revived and Leave Him Dead.

More development for the characters who are affected by his death Especially niki. More time for grief and self reflection and development

A chance for the audience to figure out what the 'afterlife' really is.

Dream is supposed to be smart and a master manipulator or something right? Why doesnt he use being able to revive tommy as a bargaining chip with sam for his own freedom?

The audience would now Know dream's intentions with tommy better, that this death isnt 'final', but we could still see other characters' grief and reactions and coping without it feeling cheap. Ive seen some 'but people dont know tommy is alive so hes still dead in their mind' but that sucks imo.

We'd know more on dream's ability to revive people and that he can just Do It on a whim (which i think sucks but hey im trying) but no one else would know this canonically

Okay. Im done. If you read this. Thankyou. I love you. Hmu.

[fbdo-ohyeaaaaah]

first off, your tumblr is dah bomb - please know that you're carrying the ferris fandom on your back. the thought you put into your posts is incredible <3 I'd love to see an in depth sloane analysis post, especially considering how much of a fan favourite she is despite her little known background / childhood / future goals. do you have any hc's towards her home life and where you could see her post fbdo? or hc's for her in general? possibly including her zodiac, love language and fears - just desperate for any form of peterson content. would also be interesting to see someone explore the possible neurodivergency presented in the film, i don't know if this is me projecting but all three seem possibly nd and i love that!

thank you!!! thats very sweet of you to say and as always it gets to me when i see people enjoying my blog. honestly at this point im not trying to curate a fandom im just trying to have fun with this movie lol, but its nice you think that. oh and im so happy youre a sloane fan and do want people to delve deeper with her character, and i should be doing more of that too, but for now i can link you with a few posts on my blog i think you'll enjoy! mostly from my friend zoe who was like so passionate about the movie and sloane's character and making fbdo headcanons, she was an absolute talent at that seriously i love her posts to death (if ur wondering where you can find them theyre at her old blog @fbdo1986 , she's cooled down on making stuff for the movie recently but i know it still holds a special place in her heart. she currently runs a great 60/70s centered blog at @petecochrans)

a post full of great sloane headcanons

a great post centered on sloane and cameron's disability headcanons

couple of sloane headcanons from a love ask game

a few sloane headcanons from when i participated in that same love ask game

also if you want more canonical sloane content the perfect place to get it from is the original draft of the fbdo screenplay, which im sure were filmed because apparently the original cut of the movie is two and a half hours long so hopefully by some miracle that cut will someday be released. but for now youve got the script, which has SO many good sloane parts in it building up her character, that i wish at least some of was kept in the final product. honestly the script is a mixed bag for me, cause it has some unecessary and awkward bits im glad were cut out, but then there are bits that i really enjoyed that develop sloane's and even ferris' characters more, but on the other hand cameron's character is developed less than in the final movie, and the trio doesnt seem as tight-knit in the script despite the additional dialogue. then there were a few moments that were needlessly innappropriate and crude (and problematic cause as much as i dont like using that word for how much its been saturated in its use recently its like. accurate here, and reflects some of the movie's problems.) . someday i'll delve into my opinion of it in an essay/post thing but i dont have time or energy for that right now lol, so if you want read the script for yourself and see what you think.

as for the neurodivergency, ive been tempted to talk about it even though im not sure if im neurodivergent, but while ive been suspecting for a while i am i dont think im enough of an authority to talk about it (especially if im not diagnosed). i have seen a stray post here and there of nds headcanoning sloane and cameron as autistic, and ferris as having adhd, which from what i know fits pretty well. you could even say fer has a makeshift stim toy, the rabbit's foot he keeps in his pocket. it's shown he's rubbing it when he's at the bottom of the taxi and nervous about his dad seeing him (he even hands it to cameron for comfort), he's swinging it on its chain when talking to sloane and cameron after the parade while waiting for the car, and again he's shown rubbing it when he's saying goodbye to sloane toward the end.

anyway thank you so much for the ask, hope the answer is satisying enough :)

[i-did]

hi hello i couldn't sleep last night so i was scrolling thru all ur asks and stuff and ur opinions and analyses are so interesting!!! and then afterwards i was thinking about what u were saying about mlm smut and i'd also been thinking about such things a little bit recently bc like.....at a certain point it becomes quite clear that the vast majority of smut-writing is just imitation. like there's the sex noise verb list and all and the whole general mechanics of the sex and those things just .... replicate over and over. and the whole thing w people writing mlm vs wlw smut regardless of their own sexual orientation..... like i feel like a big part of that is just a self-perpetuating thing. like if u have not had sex and u r getting all ur (pleasure-related) sex ed from fandom (even if u do watch porn, that doesn't rlly tell u how to describe stuff? idk) regardless of What fandom , the majority is going to be mlm smut. which is itself majority imitation of other mlm smut, imitating and imitating back to whoever knows what the first smut fanfic was etc. there's just way More to mimic than there is on the women side of things. which then becomes a self-perpetuating thing, bc the mimicry continues and generates more and more. and---if there are fundamental misunderstandings of anatomy involved---those self-perpetuate as well. and maybe even exaggerate. and yeah. does this all make sense? idk i was just thinking about it. like all the stereotypes and stuff continue bc writers are getting their inspo from other writers rather than their own brains. or something. idk!!!!! it's just all... divorced from reality? bc words. or something!! i hope u get what i'm trying to say. just thoughts i've been thinking. anyway i think ur thoughts are cool. and ur writing. ok bye have a good day!!

Okay yeah this is kinda messy but hope u see this, uhh yeah I think you're right about the echo chamber effect fr about stuff. I think it's a mix of projecting too sometimes. talk more under the cut and also link to a video essay since I love video essays.

Here’s a video that sort of touches on this topic: 

“Gay fanfiction” by Sarah Z. (has CC)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8E_C00dKwI

This video begins to talk about fetishization at the end, but also… not really. The words “gay fanfiction” is used as a catchall, when really gay fanfiction is largely mlm written by non-mlm.

Fandom is a largely women's space dominated by the female gaze in a media industry world that is dominated by men and the male gaze. I'm really glad women have this space to explore creativity and queerness, and I don't expect the female gaze to go away, but I am still ultimately bummed out I can’t read most fanfic or interact with most fandom spaces without having fetishization in my face. 

So about 80% of fandom is women, and most of those women aren't straight, but 90% of those women prefer mlm ships. Why don’t they prefer wlw ships? Well definitely part of it is the fact that queerbaiting is centered around white straight men, and then there is also the fact that women tend not to be written as well charcter wise. But the fact still remains that you get jerjean getting priority over Layla and Alvarez who are in canon just as much and are a canon wlw couple who actually interact as well as Alvarez could likely be a woc because of her Hispanic last name. Korasami doesn’t get nearly as much hype as zuko and saka, despite the fact that they are 2 fully dimensional characters who canonly kiss and hold hands, something the creators fought for and ended up having to sacrifice another reboot for. 

I do believe the fandom echo-chamber is largely responsible for… a lot of things, like you're saying. But what's interesting is that the complaints I've heard about visual porn from non mlm in the fandom space is that they can’t get off to it because its for the male gaze and misogynistic usually. But they also don't seem to notice how the mlm smut circles has the female gaze and is also… almost always mlm. If it was a pure anatomical not knowing thing, I get that, but I also think that leads to the question of “then why the male body for porn, and not your own? The one you know and are familiar with?” 

I know some people want to get outside of their own body for porn and don’t want to think of their own anatomy at all, but overall I'm still uncomfortable. If an anglo said “well I watch porn of only Mexicans so I don't self insert” I'm gonna be like … hhhh in a similar way. I understand people “like what they like” but I wish they also noticed said patterns in the first place. I understand the t4t tumblr porn circle, and how it's different from cis people who only watch trans porn. 

I actually wished that instead of fandom focusing on mlm ships where some asshole guy hits on bottom troupe charcter for top troupe character to save, was instead… a wlw character experiencing said shitty getting hit on and other wlw swooping in. what's interesting is fandom writes a lot about misogynistic experiences without often realizing it. Ive read fanfic where guys get called sluts for sleeping with people or called bitch for speaking their mind, these arent things men usually experience, but rather women. Fandom has a lot of internalized misogyny and also queerphobia imo. Women characters often get pushed to the sidelines and men become the canvas for female fans to project onto. 

There is this natural inclination to mlm. When people are talking about “gay shipping” or “gay books” or “gay feels” or even just “gay” mlm is what’s largely in mind. I honestly am kinda saddened by this because if gay fanfiction was really solely about writing more to feel represented, then you would see a lot of bi and ace and lesbian rep, but this isn't the case. Queer women are seriously underrepresented, and I want to hear their stories and read them in fanfiction as well as published. 50% of lgbt literature is mlm, and of that its largely written by women. Becky Albertalli, Rainbow Rowell, Maggie Stiefvater, are the YA big names and are all women writing mlm. Red white and royal blue is written by Casey McQuiston and Captive prince (which is not YA) is written by C. S. Pacat, who is non-binary, but is also TME and not mlm. These are all the big names in mlm lit, behind them is some gay men, but honestly their stories aren't preferred, they're not the right “flavor” for the consumers usually, who are largely women. In general YA consumers and authors are women, but I wish that they… just wrote about women too. I think there is a certain… snowball effect to the overrepresentation of mlm representing the whole LGBT community that leads to fetishization, as well as misogyny playing a factor in: less women characters being written well to write fanfic on, when they are written well they're taken less seriously or the audience struggles to relate to them, they're less marketable then men. 

Idk I never feel “seen” or “represented” by any of the books above, which don't address boyhood and manhood and queerness intersecting really, and AFTG doesn’t either. I relate to AFTG as a trauma victim who has experienced a lot of what many of the characters go through and have gone through in the EC as well as them just overall being very well written characters, but I don't relate to it as a mlm really. I've never seen like.. gay voice or being straight passing or femphobia or how boyhood can be affected from a young age by those around you sensing you're ‘other’ or if you didn't experience this you feel outside the mlm community. Let alone sub cultures like bear and leather and pup, at most you see the word “he's such a twink” in fandom which... i fr hate non mlm using that word because it's usually used to replace the f-slur essentially, used derogatorily or to call him “such a bottom” and stuff like that. It’s like a joke or an insult.

Long story short, idk mang this was a ramble and I think I'm coning down with something. I wanna see more queer women rep and women authors writing about being a queer woman too. I think it's a complex web of fetishization and a bit of forbidden love yaoi culture (or it used to be in the BOYXBOY days) as well as misogyny on an industry level, creator level, as well as reader/consumer and fandom level. I don’t think it’s inherently wrong to explore other peoples stories and what we read has to be segregated, “only mlm are allowed to read and write mlm, only wlw are allowed to read and write wlw,” but I also think author’s intent and audience and background is telling, as well as overall statistics. Like about an hour ago I was looking for cookbooks in spanish or in english, and I was looking for some mexican food cook books, but I had to look for them using words in spanish because otherwise what came up was a bunch of “fiesta party, easy as uno dos tres authentic cooking!” and I was like… hm. Since I could tell they were marketing to anglos. (also the author’s last names were like michelle smith, james cooper, and this could be for a variety of reasons, but I trust Hispanic names more tbh and deadass would look at the authors pictures and if they had other books in Spanish or what their specialties were.)

anyways. not sure how to end this. uhm if anyone has any book recs (my to read list is like 500 books tho no joke) preferably not YA white mlm written by a white lady, hopefully queer women written by queer woman, LMK, I need more wlw and queer women stories on my list. I have a decent amount but always looking for more. I kinda wanna link my goodreads or my storygraph but I also don't want to get doxxed and it has my legal name on it so.

Also, I'm dyslexic and using spell check but if there's like some wild typos my b.

[theravencawsatmidnight]

Pink Chains

Punk! Kyotani x Bubbly F! reader. Aka my favorite cliche trope. It lives in my head every second of the day.

This is the FIRST HALF because its too much words to fit in one post ! :(

Kyotani owns a grunge /punk apparel shop after leaving the Sendai Frogs after a incident with the Black Jackals. He designs his own clothes and hires Oikawa & Iwaizumi as his employees. Everything goes smoothly for awhile, till you walk in; pink dress, big smile , and bubbly personality. His whole life stops in that moment. 

“Excuse me sir? Do you have a fitting room?”

He blinks finally realizing you are in front of him looking a little huffy, bunching up your cheeks waiting for his answer. Kyo rubs the back of his neck showing off his wolf sleeve to you along with his tone muscles after playing volleyball in highschool. He points with his chin towards the left. “In the back” he tells you. The smile you give him just about melts his fucking heart

***

Oikawa can be heard having a stroke pretty much in the background and a loud slap making him shut up. Kyo shows you where the fitting room is and its more like a room with a curtain on it . You skip past him going in and before you close the curtain you smile at him again.

“Dont leave! I want a second opinion, okay?!?” The curtain whipped closed.

Kyo looked over at his friends and Iwazuimi just nodded fast while Oikawa gave him a thumbs up. Kyo rolled his eyes looking down at his clothes while he waited. A black shirt with a wolf on it , black jeans with rips in them , chains hanging around his pockets and tan boots . He rubs his volleyball tattoo and glances at his sleeve thinking for a minute. Not once had he seen someone like you in his store, even on his day off his friends would text him if such a thing ever happened. So what exactly were you doing?

You flipped your dress over the curtain and Kyos eyes immediately caught it. He looked over his arm and the two were trying not to panic. When he looked back you peeked out from the curtain smiling.

“Ok ready? Be honest ok?”

“...sure..”

you moved the curtain and posed for him. “So?”

It was wonderful, the skirt the shirt the way they fit perfectly on you , the colors looked great on you too even if the shirt was a mix of dark colors and the skirt was red. Kyo gulped taking it in, god he hoped you would be a regular after this.

“Its perfect sweetie.” He said , eyes wide in disbelief.

“Ee really?!?”

“ yes.”

You giggled closing the curtain again and pulled your dress down. Kyo looked over his shoulder again and Iwazuimi had his head on the register and Oikawa was just giving him a thumbs up.

You skipped outta the dressing room holding the items and giving Kyo a smile . “Ill take em !” You told him full of eagerness.

“Okay okay.” He motioned for you to follow him to the register , giving his friends a look till they moved. Kyo went around the desk and rang up the stuff abd of course Oikawa had to say something.

“Never seen a cutie like you before in here!”

Kyo looked over at him and Iwazuimi pulled him away. “I just remembered a shipment came in”

“Iwa-chaaaan”

It was just you and him now. Kyo had no idea what to say to you , fuck he really was awful with girls. He placed the bag on the register and you took it from him , your fingers touching his knuckles and rings for a second. Kyo rubbed his knuckles with his free hand not looking at you.

“Thank you!”

“Uh huh. Anytime.”

He was waiting for the bell on the door to go off, signalling that you left but it never came. Kyo was getting slightly annoyed, not at you but himself. He cant even make conversation.

“I like your tattoo!!!”

He blinked looking over at you to see you pointing to his wolf sleeve. “Its so pretty!!”

“Thank you.”

“Uhm i know people dont like their tattoos touched but i wanted to tell you its pretty.”

“.....you can touch it…” good, cmon Kyo… “i dont mind.” He held his arm out.

“Really?!?” Her hands hovered over it and Kyo nodded slowly.

Slowly you placed your hands on his arm on the first wolf. Kyos hand was in a fist he was so nervous , no female had ever asked to touch his ink before let alone talk to him . You were so soft, feeling your fingers glide over his wolves was the best thing he felt in a long time. It was almost as satisfying as spiking the ball.

“All so pretty!!” You ran your hands up while you spoke. “I want one but im so nervous!!!”

He couldn't help but smile at that. “Oh yeah? Of what?”

“Mm!! I love red pandas.. they are just so cute and tiny !! But also kittens are cute.. “ you stopped at the biggest wolf on his upper arm. He felt you squeeze his muscle.

“Red pandas and kittens would be cool” he told you , trying to flex his arm without you noticing.

“Mmm!!! But the red pandas… they are so fuzzy . And im a little scared of the pain.” Squeeze squeeze.

“It only hurts for a little while.” His face felt red and his hand was no longer a fist. “Maybe i can go with you if you decide to do it. My guy did all my ink.”

You jumped and squeezed for a minute before letting go. “REALLY?!? I . Well uh, youll be there if i get scared ?”

Kyo gave you a smug smile as he rubbed his sleve. “Yeah yeah, you can squeeze my hand if you get scared or it hurts too much.”

“Ah yay!!” You pulled your phone outta your bag and handed it to him. It took him a second to realize what you wanted. Kyo put his number in and you took the phone back giggling.

“Kyo! Okay! Ill see you tonight!!!” You waved goodbye leaving the store and Iwa and Kawa ran over tackling Kyo to the ground .

They teased him till he got fed up and pushed them off . They all sat on the floor just taking in the moment. The look on Iwas face was perfect, he was so proud of his friend and Kawa was too but also he wanted to make jokes . Kyo leaned on the register just staring at his rings with a smile. His phone buzzed a minute later and as soon as he read the text his heart fluttered.

“Hi!! Its y/n! Im so excited for you to with me! Ill meet you outside your shop kay?!? ✨✨✨✨✨”

He smiled and replied back.

“Okay sweetie.”

***

Safe to say Kyo was on edge all day , thank god Iwazuimi was there to help customers whenever Kyo shut down and just had that angry look on his face. Oikawa was stuck on stock duty even though he finished a half hour ago . Kyo just gave him odd jobs till he had enough.

Oikawa went over to the register leaning down on it to see Kyo staring at his phone at the text , he shot Oikawa a look and he just had a smug look on his face.

“Is the summer line out …”

“Yep. Did that about two hours ago.”

“Well go fold something.”

“How about you tell me how this girl has you all messed up Mad Dog.”

Kyo looked up, putting his phone down standing up , he grabbed Oikawas shirt and the smug boy put his hands up grinning.

“Its okay to be nervous Mad Dog.”

“Im not...nervous.”

Iwazuimi looked over and hurried to his friends pulling Oikawa back. “Knock it off.” He told him.

“Iwa-chan tell him he cant see this girl if hes gonna get all angry and pouty.”

Iwazuimi leaned onto the register thinking it over, Oikawa was right , as much as he hated admitting it . “Kyo..shitty Kawa is right.”

Kyo turned to his friend and Oikawa walked away feeling accomplished.

“I know she was super happy and bubbly and you were all closed off in the beginning but you let her touch your ink. You have never let anyone touch your ink before. Your not who you were in highschool Kyotani, dont scare her off .”

He leaned on the register looking at the rings on his hands . “I really fucked myself with that attitude i had didint i, im lucky the Sendai Frogs even picked me up when they did.”

“Remember how annoying it was to hear those girls scream whenever Oikawa served the ball?”

“Mhm.”

“Its your chance to stick it too him , that girl paid no attention to him. And she looked really interested in you. Just calm down and breathe.”

Kyo looked over his shoulder to see Oikawa chatting up a punk girl who was not interested. Iwazuimi stretched while he watched. “This isn't his element anymore. Its yours Kyo.”

He rubbed his tattoo taking in a deep breath. “Damn right it is.”

••

8 o clock finally came and Kyo was still inside writing down the weekly income while Iwa and Kawa locked everything up. Business should pick up soon with his new summer line , he was looking forward to the extra money but not the longer shifts. Iwa and Kawa went over to the desk and Iwazuimi took the key from Kyos hand.

“Excuse you.” He said looking up.

“Your dates here.” Kawa said looking over his shoulder.

Kyo got up looking over Kawa to see you outside the door holding a pink shoulder bag . She really showed up..

“We will finish the records” Iwa told him

“Iwa will finish them” Kawa said

Iwazuimi grabbed his shirt preventing him from leaving. “We, will finish the records.”

“Ugnnn…”

“Lock up after.” Kyo grabbed his jacket putting it on , it was light blue with zippers all over it.

Kyo opened the door feeling his heart in his throat, he was nervous but he could do this. What was he so afraid of ?

You turned around hearing the bell and gave Kyo a big hug and a smile. “Hi Kyo!!!”

Oh fuck.

He lightly put his arm around you and you jumped back smiling . “Ready?”

“Y..yep. Yes. My guy does great work.” He said walking with you.

“Whats he like?!?” You asked walking with him happily.”

“Mmm well, hes nice . Likes to sit in his shop all day. Bit of a wise ass.” He looked down to see you looking at his sleeve again. You glanced up and jumped .

“Sorry!! “

“Dont be, i think you love it as much as i do .”

“Ive always liked wolves but everyone told me they were too scary for me to like.”

Kyo smirked walking closer . “Oh yeah? They aren't all bad.”

“I know!” You poked at his arm. “You are really cool so that just proves they arent all bad.”

It took him a minute to register what you said .”i'm flattered sweetie.”

“Tell me about you!”

“Mm..” Kyo rubbed his sleeve, giving everyone they passed the death glare. “I played volleyball in highschool, those guys at my shop played too on the team. I got picked up by the Sendai Frogs for a bit but after awhile i wanted something calmer”

You stopped walking and Kyo stopped looking back to see you with big eyes. “Whats.. wrong?”

“You did professional volleyball?!?”

“Yep. But i wanted to design things , and Oikawa and Iwazuimi came along with me. My tattoo guy was on our highschool team too.”

“Thats.. AMAZING.” You grabbed his arm following him going on and on asking about being a professional and what it was like.”

Kyo felt really nice inside, he even told you about his attitude in highschool and you just thought it was so silly . “What?!? But your so nice and calm now!”

Safe to say his heart grew after hearing that. He squeezed your hand and let go to open the door to the tattoo shop.

“Thank you sweetie, were here.”

••

The tattoo shop had music blaring as soon as Kyo opened the door making you blink a few hundred times.

“Oi Mattsun!! where are you.” Kyo said, lightly pushing you inside so he could close the door. You found yourself clinging to Kyos arm looking all around trying to adjust to the music and this very bright room . It had art Everywhere. Posters, free hand, digital, tattoos, everything. You could not tell what color the walls were. In the center was the stations with a desk to the left when you walked in and a waiting area in the corner on the right.

“Oi!!!!”

“Shaddup! Your ruining the best part!!!”

You looked up at Kyo watching him yell with a huge smile on his face.

“OI!!!!”

“KYOTANI I SWEAR ILL FUCK YOU UP IF YOU DONT-... oh my”

The music cut off and a tall man appeared from the other side of the desk . He was covered in tattoos from neck to ankles. Very spiky black hair and a lip ring with ear piercings . He had on loose shorts and black Vans with his tattoo shops shirt on. He made his way around the desk looking you over then giving Kyo a look.

“Who's this?”

Before Kyo could speak you let go of his arm and jumped in front of him. “Im y/n! Id like a tattoo please!”

Mattsun folded his arms smirking and looked over you to Kyo who was half smirking half trying to figure out why the hell you did that.

“ shes with me Mattsun, “

“Alright alright.” He put his hands uo turning his music back on but at a more bearable level and brought you to his station with a sketchbook. You sat down fixing your dress and Kyo took your bag to hold it . Mattsun snapped a picture and Kyo grabbed his shirt.

“Dont.”

“Too late.! Cant wait for Oikawa to see”

“Fuck you Mattsun”

“Uhm..”

They both looked at you and Mattsun chuckled, swatting Kyos hand away and scooted closer to you in his wheely chair . “Okay Y/n , what would you like hmm?”

“Uhm.. a red panda!”

Mattsun looked at Kyo and then you then Kyo then the art on his walls then Kyo again.

“ what did you bring me.”

Kyo was leaning forward in his wheely chair moving back and forth looking very satisfied with this situation. “I mean if you cant do it ill go to 13 Tattoos down the street”

“Fuck you Kyotani you step one foot in that shop and im never inking you again”

You poked Kyos arm and he looked over at you .

“Uhm.. kyo.”

“Yes sweetie?”

“Youll hold my hand right i..”

Mattsun saw Kyo get flustered for a second and chuckled into his sketchbook while he drew a red panda. Good for you Mad Dog.

Kyo looked down at her hand, he was hesitating. He just needed to grab it. What was he doing? She likes you Mad Dog . His arm inched forward and you placed your hand in his , god the clash with his sleeve and your skin was the best thing hes ever seen. So innocent, fragile, excited. And he was loud, lashed out, swore, pushed buttons… god he loved it.

“Y/n hows this look?” He turned the sketchbook around and you looked along with Kyo.

It was in fact a red panda up on its back legs with its little paws in the air with a happy face and some hearts around it.

“Is SO CUTE !! Kyo kyo look!!!”

“I see it sweetie.” He couldn't help but laugh at the little panda and Mattsun. “Its cute, Mattsun”

“Of course!” He set the sketchbook down and got his gear ready. “Im happy you like it y/n, where would you like it?”

“Oh oh! My arm please the inside a little above my elbow ?”

He smiled scooting closer . “Okay, hold it out for me y/n”

You held out your arm and rubbed Kyos hand with your thumb, he jumped in his skin looking down at you but you were focused on Mattsun drawing the panda on you. He lightly rubbed back on your hand enjoying how soft your skin felt against his thumb.

Mattsun peeled the paper away and picked up his tool, turning it on. “Ready?”

“Yes!..”

“Hold still for me y/n” he leaned forward and started on the outline on your skin.

It hurt, oh it hurt.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

You can do this y/n

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

“Still got my art on the wall huh?”

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz

“Why wouldn't i? Hows Kawa and Iwa?”

Zzzzz…..

“Same as always. You should see Oikawa strike out at work Mattsun”

Zzzzzzzz…. it was getting hard to keep a straight face..

“That sounds hilarious is he still complaining over the skinny jeans?”

Zzzzz...z.z.z..zzzzz

“God yeah.”

“Ky..kyo..”

he looked up from the tattoo to see you on the verge of tears, you kept looking down and trying to fidget but Mattsun had a firm grip on you. “Stay still for me y/n okay? Don't move”He glanced at Kyo and leaned back to change ink colors then started on coloring.

“Kyo..-“

He reached up with his free hand to cup your cheek and turn your head so you could see him. “Look at me.”

“K..”

“ sshh.. just focus on me okay? Tell me why you like red pandas .”

“ they.. are fuzzy.. i love fuzzy stuff.. and they are troublemakers getting into.. all sorts of things..”

He lightly ran his thumb under your eye getting rid of a tear .

“Dont..dont let go of my hand..”

“I wont Sweetie. What else do you like about them “

“Doing great Y/n, almost done”

“Uhm.. they.. i love red. Its my favorite color. And they like to flop around and tackle each other.. I heard a zoo nearby has them but.. i dont know where.``

“Miyagi zoo, would you like to go sweetie?”

“Y-yes i..” your eyes wandered away from Kyo and he brought you back to him gently.

“Ssh , look at me. Just me remember?”

“Just.. you.”

“Yes sweetie. Youre doing so good.”

“Done.” He wiped the panda a few times and scooted back taking a picture with his phone. “My apprentice is gonna have a stroke. Okay y/n if you wanna go look my mirror is right over by the wall”

Kyo helped you up and wiped under both of your eyes with his thumbs and you smiled up at him holding yourself. “I..i did it..” you choked out a giggle.

“Yes you did. Go take a look .” Kyo told you and let you go. He watched you make your way to the mirror and Mattsun yanked him over to his desk getting behind it to record the order in the laptop. They were quiet for a second .

Mattsun looked up at Kyo, he was leaning on the desk with his arms up on it.

“How the fuck did you meet her”

“She came into my store, Mattsun. Do you see her?”

“Did she buy ANYTHING?”

“She bought the plaid red skirt and the kitten guitar shirt”

“What the fuck Kyotani.”

“Ask Iwa and Oikawa, they could not keep it together.”

Mattsun took his phone out texting Oikawa.

“I let her touch my sleeve, Mattsun”

His friend dropped his phone looking up at this hard and angry punk guy staring at him.

“She told me she thought it was pretty and I let her touch it, every wolf.”

“I did the ink and i can't even touch it”

“Shes just.. i don't even know Mattsun. Shes different.”

“From your usual? Uh yeah i'd say so.”

“ i wanna hold onto her, but i dont know how, im scared ill.. scare her off.”

“Dont be gettin all sentimental on me Mad Dog, if she didint run off from my music, your swearing or your store shes not gonna run off now, she was going to have a panic attack in my damn chair if you didint calm her down.”

“Shut up, im not sentimental.. she was gonna .. cry.”

“God..”

“Fuck you, how much is the tattoo”

“$40 because im feeling nice and its about time you had a girl interested in you”

Kyo took his wallet out and put the money on the desk, “keep the change”

“Oh what a baller.” He teased taking the money and coming around to shove his friend. “Good to see you, lets all get together soon for some beach volleyball “

“Yeah yeah, and fine. But you call everyone , “

“Killjoy.”

You skipped over hugging Kyos sleeve and showing him your panda and thanking Mattsun over and over.

“Of course y/n , happy you like it.” He pat your head.

••

Kyo said his goodbyes and was walking down the street with you , it was 9 at night now and he did not want to leave yet.. you were still hugging his sleeve not talking much .

“Hey..”

“Yes kyo?”

“You told me your name and i've still been calling you sweetie, why haven't you said anything? “

You let go of his arm skipping in front of him smiling. “Well, i like it. Its cute to hear you say it..”

He smirked, rubbing his head trying not to look at you. “Will you laugh if i say i don't want to leave yet.”

You shyly took his hand holding it. “No, I wont. I uhm.. i have class in the morning but.. do you want to spend the night? N-not for uh .. uhm.. i mean.. i.. uh.”

Kyo laughed pulling his hand back bringing you with it, he wrapped his other arm around you. “That sounds nice sweetie, id love too.”

“Yay!! Youll get to meet Mocha!!!”

“Mocha?”

“My kitten!!!”

He sighed down at you giving you a hug and you squeezed him. “Thank you.. for calming me down …”

“Of course. You did great sweetie.”

You giggled, swaying a bit. “Ahh easy my arm kinda hurts heh..”

“Oh right, it will be tender for a week or so.” He held you close keepin an eye on your arm. “You did great , you really did.”

You nuzzled into his chest feeling full of bliss . “Thank you Kyo.”

••

@zoppzoop

@nekxrizawa, @kyovtani thought you would enjoy this !

[redleadurr]

Your art is rad! I'm not too familiar with Eddsworld but I've heard of it. Where do I begin? (I have a request thingy but I wanna ask this first) Hope you have a nice day or night :D

thank you!! honestly im really bad at like, helping people get into things but ill try my best to lead you to good direction with the show

theres no real continuity in the show (not counting the 2-part eps bc they are self explanatory) besides The End & the newer episodes after that, so really youre free to go in any order youd like (i suggest leaving The End -> the newer eps till last though since the show’s still ongoing with a new ‘season’ i suppose). theres some references to other episodes and stuff like that in a lot of episodes but theyre often just easter eggs that are a lot more fun to find once you already know of the stuff very well 😛

theres 3 ‘seasons’ or i guess more commonly called ‘eras’ of the show which are Classic, Legacy, and Beyond.

Classic goes from the very first video to Space Face (2012). Its probably the most recognized era since Edd G. was the lead here. Considering it was being done in the 2000s-early 2010s, its got a lot of internet/newgrounds humor from the time but its still very enjoyable & doesnt feel dated at all (a lot of people like that era of humor & so do i, its very fun (.: )

Legacy goes from Space Face to The End (2016). This is probably the era where a lot people got into the show & caused the shows boom in popularity a few yrs back... id say its the most experimental era since its very varied in the type of episodes they make and has a lot of different animation styles but imo thats what makes it very cool. its a fun era & a lot of the community’s thoughts/headcanons/etc on the characters & world was shaped by this

Beyond is basically everything after that, the show essentially got picked up again after the now-not-show-finale in 2020. seen a lot of mixed feelings regarding this era of the show but considering its still pretty ‘new’ i dont have a lot of strong opinions about it. i would definitely not consider recommending episodes from this era first though considering how it feels like its being made with the intention of you already knowing about the characters & things (or at least thats how it felt like to me when i revisited the show recently after years & forgetting a lot OOF). because of this ill recommend only classic/legacy stuff haha.

id probably recommend Hammer & Fail (part 1 & 2) as a first episode, it shows off the main characters’ personality well + its the episode that introduces characters that serve as their rivals sometimes in eps after that. its one of my favorites & iirc one of the top fan favorites too!

Ive also seen people tell me that they would recommend Spares first, & i do think thats a pretty solid ep to start with too. Considering its one of the older eps you get to see a lot more of the chaoticness gun blood (not graphic) + humor newgrounds stuff the show had going on, if you are a fan of that era of flash animation

I also recommend Fun Dead... over all very fun to watch and has zombies which are awesome heh. Zombies are a reoccurring thing in eddsworld & Zombeh Attack is a great series of eps which i absolutely love since its more actiony, however considering its age im not sure if i would recommend it as a ‘first’. Fun Dead’s still very fun with the zombies though (.:

Next up is probably Power Edd... you get to learn a bit more about some the characters here while also watching epic stuff go down; its my favorite episode and i just had to include it here hahaha

I was gonna end it with the one that comes after this paragraph but i thought i’d put Zombeh Nation here too. More of the old newgrounds feel this time with zombies

Ok, Finally .. I’d req WTFuture. Its the community’s top favorite episode for good reason. Id talk a bit about what its like & why i reccomend it but i think its better experienced cuz its a VERY cool episode & awesome if you like a bit of scifi

Those are the episodes i would req for you to get started with the show! You do not have to follow the order i set them in (except hammer & fail which i said to watch first to get to know the characters a bit) but i tired to give a general order which i think would work in general... after these its pretty much open for everything (except the end + beyond ya know the deal). you could probably choose to proceed to either watch more legacy or classic eps based on how you felt about the feel of the 2 eras, or i guess, mix it up too.

anyway sorry if this was long, eddsworld is a cool show & its very easy to get into! i hope u enjoy it 🙏🙏🙏