#its all so. fucking stupid but he always makes me so goddamn mad

[superpeeboy]

I wanna play the Velma Staplebot headcanons game!!

okok so Velma is Business’s personal assistant and she is very loyal to him. . this is just in the movie and lego.com actually this is true.

I think, after the events of the movie, Velma would still be an assistant to Business! Because most of her job wasn’t to hunting master builders it was to help assist Business with scheduling (the scheduling thing is TRUE thanks again lego Velma is innocent she never did anything wrong ever…)

Business is kinda a manchild sorry but he just absolutely would not be able to take care of himself he would stick a fork in an outlet if you looked away from him for two seconds… so Velma would help him not do that. She’s still his assistant, just also in the home too. And socially sometimes too, as you can see in the gif in the beginning she is alerting Business because the camera is on them! so basically Velma is kind of a caretaker for Business.

Velma is just as bothered by Business’s unique personality as anyone else. bcuz hes an annoying old man. i think Velma has more patience with him than others but it is by no means a lot of patience. hes annoying. i think Velma gets annoyed easily anyways I think she has a bit of temper and she just feels loyal to Business for creating her so he gets to be a little annoying before she tells him to cut the shit.

Velma is effectively tfem because all the robots are made genderless. also she likes women 🤫

I think Velma has a bit of jealousy towards GCBC for being leagues more popular than her when they are both assistants for the same guy (SAVE HER SAVE THE BACKGROUND CHARACTER!! SAVE HER!!!)

Velma says “dot-dot-dot.” or “ellipses.” outloud when she is speechless. whcih is often because some people are stupid.

Velma

ALSO ADDING SOME SPECIFIC CHARCATER INTERVATIONS I MADE UP WITH AZALEA theres some golfingbuddies here beware..

velma can tolerate benny and business in isolation but if they are both present at the same time its a nightmare. they do not act right.

Ih my god imagine velma sneaking vegetables into businesses food cuz he refuses to eat his vegetables EVEN THOUGH HE IS A GROWNA SS MAN

Also i think he[business] licks the oreo stuff and then doesnt eat the cookies or like hands them to someone else but they have business saliva on tjem?? So nobody likes it. also 100%. he judt piles all the cookies on his desk and when he's done shoves them into the trash cna He could literally make them with more stuffing theyre octan brand oreos but hes like. NO! NO WE NEED MORE MONEY!!!! velmas like we can always make ones specifically for you and he's all like NOOOOOO WASTE OF MONEY NONONO NO!

theyd[golfingbuddies’d] be at like at an octan mcdonalds playplace or some shit and theyd be trying to drown eachother in the ballpit and business would get mad and velma would have to drive them both home because business and benny both cant drive despite being 50 year old men and theyd have their arms crossed in the backseats and theyd be glaring at eachother and velma would be so fucking upset because these are GROWN ASS MEN

Velma is a sweat at candy crush and business asks her to help beat levels, Velmaaaaaa i cant beat level 228 on candy crush… can you help mee

velma watching tv in the living room and she hears benny in the distance saying “trust me dude, its perfectly safe to put a knife in the toaster.” she has never turned aorund so fast

like when ur brocploi isnt flavorless and boiled way too long it's good woa. imean ik some ppl like flavorles and boilrd BUT not my thig ya feel (business likes it flavorless and boiled) benny over for dinner witj business and he grabs velma’s coat like anlittle orphan and is like… can u cook sometjing Edible for me Where do uou put the seasoning in this house maam… benny asking velma for some goddamn pepper at the least

She'd[velma’d] probably lose it if they[golfingbuddies] ever had a road trip together because i think after an hour in a car together benny and business would start fighting IN THE CAR and velma would have to pull the “IF YOU TWO DONT KNOCK IT OFF RIGHT THIS SECOND IM TURNING THIS CAR AROUND.”

They[golfingbuddies] might do that thing where they fight and then velma walks in and they pretend they were just hanging out while business has liek. an entire bite taken out of his hair. ANd then velma leaves and they keep fighting

I think business acts like a cat as in when he hasnt eaten for a normal amount of time he acts like he has been starving for years, Like when its a bit before lunchtime he will complain sooooo much. GIRL LUNCH IS IN LIKE 3 MINUTES CALM DOWN YOURE THE BOSS YOU COULD LITERALLY GO GET LUNCH NOW AND NOBODY WOULD BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT (he needs to follw the schedule. That he made up.) he goes to velma like VELMAAAA IM HUNGRY and velma's just. you-own-all-the-restaurants-in-the-area-sir

GOD JOW I HAVE THE VISION OF BUSINESS WITH A SUPER TALL ICE CREAM CONE AND THEN IT FALLS AND HE STARTS CRYING, if eel like this would happen multiple times and at some point velma just demands he can only get Two Scoops of ice cream AT MOST and then he gets so upset YOURE NOT THE BOSS OFME I CAN GET AS MUCH ICW CREAM AS I WANT.and then velma gets mad.

he gets two scoops.

(business has to sit in the back cuz he puts his feet on the dashwhen hes in the front) … i think he kicks the seat infront of him like a literal toddler. istg he tries it once and then velma does this and he never tries it again

[cheeeeseburger]

Dream girl Part 4

Next part

Sidney Crosby x Reader

Masterlist

A/N: I had something else completely written for this part but somehow I lost it so anyway here's part 4! English is not my first language, apologies for the mistakes, enjoy!

“Yeah dude, some fucking pipe broke and now there’s water all over our goddamn new condo.” Like usual, Sid was busy listening to your boyfriend’s convo, trying to gather some info on you. Apparently, something broke in the brand-new condo that you and your boyfriend just bought together. Sidney knew all about it. After your almost-kiss, he though his heart had suffered enough for the week until he saw that fucking post on your Instagram. You were holding the key, and he was holding you, and Sidney just wanted to disappear forever.

Anyway. That must be why you didn’t attend a single game this week. Must have been too busy. Sidney was relieved. So you weren’t avoiding him. You still hadn’t replied to his texts saying he was sorry for almost kissing you, but at least you were not actively trying to escape him. His heart warmed a little in his chest.

“Oh man, that sucks. You haven’t even lived a month in it!” Another young defenseman chimed in. The story was getting real interesting now.

“Yet they still expect a payment every week. What a bunch of assholes. And they won’t fix it until another month! I mean, do they expect me and my girlfriend to live in a hotel for another fucking month?” For once, he could sympathize with the rookie. Yeah, it must suck to live in a hotel. He especially thought about you. You had to hate it. He had to do something about it.e H

Sometimes, love makes you stupid. It was one of these occasions. Sidney would ask you to move in with him. Temporarily, of course. With the boyfriend included.

It had got to be his worst idea yet. But it seemed he couldn’t keep the words from spilling out: “I have a basement you guys could use.”

So nice. So helpful. So generous. Yet so selfish. Sidney Crosby, what a nice guy, eh?

Of course, your boyfriend agreed on the spot, not bothering to check beforehand with you. He didn’t understand why you were freaking out, and it had to stay that way.

Two days later, you were knocking on the captain’s door, suitcase in hand. How could this go wrong?

At first, Sidney thought he could manage. It wasn’t like you were always there. Most of the time, you were hiding from him anyway. He wanted to talk to you about the moment you almost had right there in his kitchen, but it was hard with the rookie always being there.

Honestly, the first week went well. Sure, he found a thong in his batch of laundry and the image of you wearing it drove him mad, but everything was going well.

Until he heard it. That first moan, the first clue that you were arching your back for someone that wasn’t him. Sidney felt his heart sink in his stomach. He wanted to turn on the TV to forget the angelic noise, but he heard it again. This time, it was louder, needier. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn’t move.

Against his will, Sidney’s hand made its way underneath his pants. The effect you had on him was crazy. Your voice only got louder, echoing through the walls of his home. He began to stroke himself.

Faintly, he could hear the noises your boyfriend made, but he decided to ignore them. Pretending to be the one making you moan was simply too good. It sounded like you were matching Sid’s tempo better than his anyway. When your screams began to be louder and more frequent, he picked up the pace. He just knew that you were getting close, and so was he, but he wanted his girl to finish first.

His girl. That lie almost made him come on the spot. He threw his head back and imagined you were doing the same. He wished you were riding his thigh.

Suddenly, the bed in his basement stopped creaking. Your boyfriend thanked everyone but you for existing as he finished. He was done and apparently, for him, it meant that you were done too. Sidney called bullshit on that immediately.

There was no way you were feeling satisfied after that. You and Sidney were on the same pace, and he was nowhere near finished. Sure, a few minutes ago you seemed closed, but the fucking rookie was selfish. So selfish that he had to ruin the pleasure of two people that night.

Sid was so pissed for you. You deserved that orgasm. If you were his girl, he would’ve made you come twice already, with a third time coming soon. He would let you rest awhile only to rock your world harder a few moments later. Every single night.

Of course, Sidney was frustrated for himself too. He had no choice but to take a shower, because there was no way he would be able to sleep without getting some kind of satisfaction. The warmth of your mouth would be better, but the palm of his hand and the hot water would have to do for the night.

It didn’t take long for him to get right back on track. Now that he didn’t have your moans as background music, he thought of all the way he would make you come.

For the first time, of course, it would have to be sweet. After all, he was gentleman. He would worship you and tell you the million reasons why you were his dream girl. Only when you would be convinced that you’re an angel would he let himself think about finishing.

 He would have to eat you out next. His age was his biggest asset in that department. Guys his age knew how to take care of their girls. No way the rookie had ever used his tongue on you. Fucking idiot.

If he felt especially riled up one night, he would have to have you against a wall. He wanted to see the pictures trembling and the frames falling on the floor.

His next thought had him steadying himself on the wall. He wanted to have you somewhere he was sure your boyfriend would hear. Sidney had to let him know that only him could make you satisfied. After all, you were his dream girl.

That was all it took. He hoped the sound of the water would hide his grunts as he released all that frustration inside of him.

Yeah, he did feel guilty as he stepped out of the shower. I mean, he had just jacked off to the thought of you. But it wasn’t like it was the first time, nor would it be the last. Actually, he only felt guilty because he knew you weren’t feeling satisfied like he was right now. Sidney would have to change that soon.

[pansy-picnics]

I really want to say this somewhere but honestly, my favorite part of Varigo is that it can really go both ways.

Like they have that soft fluffy thing going for them with that first love energy and it’s absolutely adorable in whatever it’s done with. And very believable.

But then they can also have this side where these two hate each other, but they want to MAKE OUT SO BAD IT HURTS TO WATCH. Like major enemies to lovers vibes and it’s very believable.

Maybe it’s just because Hugo technically never existed but any dynamic that any fanfic or art gives them just MAKES SENCE TO ME.

they are enemies AND lovers……... it is the funniest thing to me tbh i cannot see them being super lovey-dovey all the time after they get together, like its not that they AREN’T sickeningly in love, it’s just that they can flip between that and calling each other ugly whores within 5 seconds and they’re completely unfazed. as funny as it is i personally think it’s because at their core they are both kids who were forced to grow up too fast, and they bring out each others inner child in a way…. cuz like, their rivalry/hatred for each other has never been, in any way, Reasonable or Mature

hugo was suspicious when they met, sure, but i don’t think thats really why varian disliked him- i think that’s just the reason he used to justify it in his head. Really he just thought hugo was cool as fuck and he was really mad about being outshined on HIS coming of age quest. like. HE’S the main character bro. Who does this blonde bitch think he is. Goddamn. /j

and….Hugo was the same way lol. like despite his awful circumstances and all the angst going on in his head he only initially antagonized varian because he was a 19 year old boy and wanted to look cool and act like he knew everything. THEIR WHOLE RIVALRY WAS SO CHILDISH! AND THATS WHATS SO SPECIAL ABOUT IT I FEEL CUZ….NEITHER OF THEM HAVE EVER REALLY HAD THAT BEFORE.

ITS EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAID!! it’s that they’re each others first love…but they are also simultaneously each other’s first best friend and also each other’s first Enemy. Neither of them have REALLY done any of that before like ever. varian had friends but he’s never had friends HIS AGE, yk? its completely new for both of them, each for separate reasons, and because of that they are both acting like stupid fucking 12 year olds about it.

even after they get together i think the core of their dynamic is that….they were kind of each other’s (incredibly belated) childhood best friend. and they will always be best friends first and foremost Yk? they bring out each others inner child. it’s why even when they’ve been married for 40 years they tease each other like theyre two middle schoolers fighting on the school bus over pokemon cards. its why they always know exactly how to make the other laugh or cheer them up after a long day. they know EXACTLY how to push each others buttons but they also know when is too far, which is why they can just say the most vile things to each other without even hesitating because they KNOW they don’t gaf. They share one braincell together but they’re also both genius mad scientists so they COULD take over the world together if they wanted to but they’re too busy playing jenga with glass beakers in their pajamas at 2 pm. Idk. They need to be shot.

[pixeldistractions]

June 2088. (previously)

Jordan’s ten years with Colette had been a cacophony of ’no’s’.

“No, don’t come to bed after ten. It wakes me up and I can’t fall back asleep. Don’t get in my bed without a shower. Don’t get in my bed wet. No naps, either. You know what? The couch is fine for you, isn’t it?”

“No more tattoos. They’re trashy.”

“No, we’re not getting a bigger truck because no, you’re not getting a camper. I don’t want a camper outside my house. That’s trashy.”

“No, I hate that music. I hate that music, too. I just hate music. All music.”

“No, we’re not getting a dog. No, not a cat, either. A chicken? Are you fucking kidding me? Where the hell are we gonna put a goddamn chicken?!?”

“No work clothes in the house. No tools, either. I hate your clothes—you dress like a homeless man.”

“No campfires. Ew, I can smell it on you for days.”

“No kippers in the house. Ew, no kippers at work either. No kippers ever. I can smell them before you even eat them, and it makes me want to vomit.”

So when he came to her with this idea, he had little faith that she would say yes.

The boys were in the living room with a cartoon, and Colette was at the dining room table with her laptop. Jordan sat down.

She looked up from her work with a sneer. “What?”

“I want to take the boys on a backpacking trip,” Jordan said. “Banff, it’s in Canada. It’s a two-day drive.”

Go big or go home.

He held his breath.

“So you’re not working?” Colette asked. “Is she paying you for all this time off?”

“She is, actually.”

“Huh.” Then he saw the wheels of her brain turning, doing the math. An ask this big would cost him. Did he want to pay the price? After some consideration, Colette let out a patronizing chuckle, “Well, good luck with that.”

She didn’t say no. He was surprised, but also not.

Maybe she didn’t believe he would actually do it. Or maybe she’d hold it against him as ammunition. She did this sometimes. When she knew her razor sharp attitude had run away from her for too long, she offered a little peace treaty, as if to say, Remember that time I let you take the boys backpacking in Canada? Remember that? And she would remind him of that small grace for the rest of his life.

But he intended to take this grace, and he would run with it.

The boys needed no convincing. They minded their father, fetching this and that from whatever corner of the house, making a monstrous pile by the door. Then, before she could complain about it, both the pile and the boys were gone in a blitz, leaving only the movie they hadn’t been watching with its credits rolling.

With the boys out of her hair for two weeks, Colette felt adrift. Since they were on their own vacation, she thought she should treat herself to a few days off as well.

The first few hours, the first whole day, she reveled in the novelty of having only herself to worry about. She day-drank a whole bottle of rosé while watching HGTV in her bathrobe.

He was mad. He’d been mad for months. Why? She didn’t know, she didn’t ask, and she wasn’t sure she really cared. Mad was what they did with each other. But what Colette knew was that they never really broke up because they were never exactly together, which meant they never needed to make up because they never broke up in the first place. He would get over it, eventually. And maybe this time away would help.

Maybe she even owed him this little favor because he always wanted to be a scout dad. “No, that’s stupid. They don’t need that,” she’d said. She wanted the boys in academic triathlon instead. What good is learning to make a campfire as opposed to world diplomacy? High school was coming for them faster than they realized. You get on the wrong track, and your prospects were sunk. Colette knew better than anyone how one wrong choice in your youth could destroy all your hopes and dreams.

But sure, go light campfires in the wilderness for a couple of weeks, if you must.

You have to throw the dog a bone sometimes.

Colette stayed up late, binging crime dramas. With no chance of little boys barging into her room, she slept naked in her bed long into the morning. Then she took herself out for lunch at the kind of place you couldn’t bring nine-year-olds.

Not that she didn’t worry. She questioned Jordan’s parenting skills. She sent them off with a notebook of rules and phone numbers, and she was sure they’d already tucked it under the front seat of the truck where it would stay until the day they returned. Would the boys come back bruised and burnt and eaten alive by who knows what creatures? Would they catch rashes and intestinal parasites from drinking river water? The hiking, the falls, the wildfires, the hot springs full of boiling acid that dumb souls have ventured too close to and took their last bath. She doubted whether Jordan had ever even seen those news stories.

“I’m not an idiot,” Jordan promised. But, huh, she’d be the judge of that when he brought those boys back in one piece.

To be honest, she hated taking time off. She was bored and irritated and could never really relax. So she went back to work.

— “why are you here? #2: little sparks catch fire” part 5/6

author’s note: bonus points for actually asking her for a chicken though, right? 😂🤣😂

Next -> // WAYH #2 start // index

[romsabombs]

malevolent part 46 the unclean live listen notes

SPOILERS BELOW

faroe jumpscare

is she haunting him lol

i cant believe he slept

"its probably an animal" u guys keep forgetting what podcast you're in

"you were sleeping?" "NO👹" defensive for no reason

stop hiding things from eachother challenge impossible

"it was just Things" 😐

what is blud yapping about😭🙏

LILY MENTIONED‼️

yeah yeah we know john we were all there🙄

cheesy ass episode where are the horrors

TRAIN STORY CALLBACK :33333

u dont have to remind me this story is bouncing around in my brain at all times

ooohh okayyyy music

arthur is not registering any of this let the man sleep💀

john praising lily for just doing her job is so funny to me

omgg :3 faroe is hanging out

no its not malam his ass doesnt sound like that

is he not even considering that it could be faroe usually he jumps at any chance to mention her

its disney pixar movie brave

shes guiding him?? showing him the way??

do u think they're fae

oh hes being compelled

"we shouldnt just sit here" ya thatd be a boring episode

hes fighting it

they're fae i faer

maybe just go the opposite direction

"what We're seeing" ok arthur

oh ermm😕😕

ANOTHER CULT??? COME ON😐😐

omg crying obsidian literally minecraft

oh dear a child. oh nvm He

its that dead child in the river isnt it

HAHA HE ROBBED THEM

arthur what happened to your decluttering mindset

HAHA YORRICK💀💀💀 they kidnapped his ass

oh his ass gonna is snitch on us

👹fuck mother darkness👹

"as unfortunate as that is" 💀

what makes u think he didnt lie to you about being the last of his kind

"we wouldn't be walking into a trap BLINDLY" "we'd be walking in with MY EYES wide open"

yorrick if you dont rat us out we'll buy you a lego set😇😇 or a chew toy

bro just dont follow him hes obviously just using the bag to bait you

ok dont get the bag guys r u dumb

STUPID!! DONT!!!! ☠️😠 guys i cant keep defending you

they will not ignore the lights bruh🙏

god we're only 19 minutes in

they're gonna die from this bruh

goddamn it john😭

oh no💀💀💀 man come on

they're cooked🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

wait is it actually okay i cant tell anymore

oh😕😕😕 BLERGH☹️☹️

naur the hunt got to him🙏

idk wtf is going on anymore bruh

okay ya its still a trap

dont drink that fucking water bruh i bet his corpse was in there

ofcourse it looks inviting bruh💀💀

they're what

💀💀 HAHA HE LEFT dumbasses

funny as hell now what

DONT DRINK IT HAHA ARE U CRAZY

it looks inviting again huh😐😐

NOOOOO💀💀 jarthur needs a babysitter bruh

"it leads men astray" only men huh😐 god forbid women have hobbies

HEART OF THE FOREST MENTIONED‼️‼️‼️‼️

they're trying so hard to be otgw

IN THE DREAMLANDS?

YEAHHHHH

omg i knew it'd come back

no guys maybe it's the same forest remember when u gave it your finger n u actually didnt need to and u said Lets hope they'll pay us back

FAE FAE FAE THEYRE FAE💥💥

mushroom smell is a core memory for him💀💀

HAHA WTF sillyness

william mentioned

what is his ass yapping about 😭

is this still a trap wtf r these mushrooms doing to him💀

hes dancing???? naur what the hell

hes cooked the fae got to him💀🙏

music is distorting ermmm😕

blud snorted too many mushrooms

WHAT?????? not the traumadumping

madness madness madness

man what the hell

☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

man i thought he had a relatively good relationship with his dad😕

YOU DID WHAT😨😨

WHAAAT WHAT THE FUCK MAN

did the dancing exhaust him

😕 man what the hell was that

what the hell wait what now

its the king isn't it

this eppy is crazy man ill kms

the fae got to him‼️🗣️🗣️

EVERYONE SPEAKS IN YOUR VOICE BRUH THERE IS ONE VOICE

what is going on bru

WHO?? 🗣️ horick???

was the shrine for him then

bro is bargaining💀

wuh oh😕

WHAT😨😨😨

YOUNGER????? not again arthur💀

once a child murderer always a child murderer

is arthur pulling this guy's chain bru

nah he was definitely lying right😕

fym "what are you doing" what are YOU doing

he what. he slept?? i think arthur was just pulled away from him so he was like. unconscious?? maybe

they just keep making secret deals with evil gods🙄

oh man hes so ashamed

john trying to have a moment with him and getting shot down again

so whats the plan here are you just gonna go back to killing children

"us" hmmmmmm

hes definitely not gonna tell john abt the deal

oh he did. but not about the child part

YEA THE CORPSES RIGHT

yess i was right💥💥💥💥

yeesh😕

i like how in audio dramas the throwing up sound is always just some tin foil getting squeezed

what an episode. i have to pee so bad

MMMM REALLY not liking the theme im seeing in this season (children)

[noahs-white-calvins]

Byler playlist! also giving insight into my tastes lol. Took a lot not to include the soulsborne music i actually always listen to

——

—Mykonos, Fleet Foxes. Mykonos itself is a “gay mecca”, and the Hellenistic greeks were well known for their queerness. The song itself evokes two men bonded by purpose and love to face down challenges. It also reminds me of Patroclus and Achilles, and is a popular song in rhe fandom for Song of Achilles. “Brother you dont need to turn me away/I was waiting down at the ancient gate.” hmmm, gate.

—Goddess, Laufey. This is one of my new favorite songs, and its themes touch on both boys’ insecurities. One can also argue the Eleven sings this, and as I write this out I think it is definitely El in a lot of ways. The “goddess”, a powerful person that Mike idolizes, but when they come to really know each other they realize it cant work.

—Operator (He Doesn’t Call Me), Låpsley. The first of a few on the nose songs lol, very much Will singing this about Mike who sure, tried to call him, but they never came through.

—Does Your Mother Know, ABBA. This show needs ABBA! everything does lol, you can listen to 70s disco in the 80s. Anyway, I see this being about Mike and his gaze toward Will. Wanting him, thinking he’s hot a cute, but keeping it. It’s lighthearted and I enjoy the idea of Karen getting sus that Mike like’s Will. I also see Mike jogging to this.

—Let You Break My Heart Again, Laufey. Love Laufey. Another where it applies to both boys. “Someday I will stop falling in love with you.” Mike trying so hard to move on from Will, and Will so torn up by how much he loves Mike.

—Good Luck Babe, Chappell Roan. I mean, does this need explanation? The comphet anthem of a generation, Will screaming this into the microphone while Mike watches. It’s like he was drunk at the airport in a way, trying to stuff his feelings away and salve his pain with lies.

—Black Sheep, Metric. The original version, this time an edgier take on their feelings, Will mostly. He’s upset, mad at Mike. “Now that the truth is just a rule/That you can bend” its giving Mike becoming a goddamn comphet pretzel.

—Baseball, Hippo Campus. Baseball being the Conformity Allegory, A. B: this song has some fun and poetic allusions to physical intimacy and touches on the relationship between the boys. I also just realized it has blue and yellow in the lyrics!

—As the World Caves In, Sarah Cochran cover. The song that plays as they think the world is ending around them, maybe it is. They’ve finally come together and make love. it’s awkward anf funny and passionate and feels so fucking good. In the end, they lie there and wait to see if the world will indeed cave in.

—Idea of Her, Cavetown. So many of Robbie’s songs work for them, as we’ll see with the next one. His trans experience speaks to the hiding of oneself, denying truths, and like this song addresses: loving the idea of something. We got California rep AND a top down view of Mike’s feelings about Eleven. “Can’t get your name past my lips like a slur.” To me, it reads as both the love he can’t say to El because its not true, and that it’s so hard to use Will’s name right after it.

—Boys Will Be Bugs, Cavetown. This is about Mike being stupid.

—Jupiter, C Duncan. A gay songwriter, Duncan’s song here has me imagine Will taking Mike on the journey of acceptance. Driving as the song plays, hands close to touching. A dreamlike sequence with Will taking charge, sensitively.

—Like Real People Do, Hozier. This is Hozier descending from music heaven telling these two to fucking kiss already.

—Beneath the Brine, The Family Crest. this feels to me like Mike melodramatically singing about Will while he’s trapped in the UD, and when he’s possessed and away from him.

—No Woman, Whitney. LA reference! While also referencing Mike’s changes, lying to himself, “walking through a haze” of his conflicting feelings for Will and El.

thats all for now! if anyone has byler tracks id love to see them

[the-dumpster-fire-of-life]

heyy hope ur day has been good so far!

could i request a bill x reader hurt/comfort oneshot?

Reader and bill get into a massive fight about something stupid they dont even remember anymore and in the heat of the moment bill says something about readers weight wich they are extremely insecure of (reader is a bit chubby) and both of them are just standing completely shocked about what just happened and the reader starts tearing up so bill tries to hug her and apologise but the reader pushes him away not wanting to be touched and he then realises how he fucked up.

a few days later after the reader avoided him he shows up with puffy eyes and eye bags, holding flowers and apologises saying how he knows that what he did wasnt right and that he cant undo everything but he wants to try and will wait how ever long reader needs to trust him again?

sorry if this is a bit much and its ok if ur not comfortable writing this!

have a great day!

(Yo! Sure I can but so sorry, I'm not good at apologies so I left it at the end like a sorta cliff hanger bc I suck at giving and writing apologies. But anyway, enjoy!)

An Apology Won't Cut It

You didn't even know how the hell this started, and how it ended up here.

It was a small argument, ending up in comments thrown and bickering until yelling ensued and the rest of the band left you both alone.

Yelling in the hotel room you and Bill shared after a concert when you just wanted to sleep away everything.

What you can remember was that Bill got mad at you for 'flirting' with a fan.

Yes, you used to flirt with fans, basically what Tom did, flirting with fans girls and boys alike until you got into a relationship with Bill and that stopped.

You used to enjoy it, but put an end to it once Bill expressed his feelings for you before.

You didn't engage in fan advances, but when you put them off you were scolded by your publicist and told not to and just smile, brush them off and move on.

Of course, you didn't want to be scolded anymore, so you just agreed and tried to keep your distance.

But the fanboy at the signing today would not give in, not taking the hint at your strained smiles and goodbyes but being tugged back into the conversation.

Bill noticed and you could see his attitude change the more and more the boy flirted, and the more you stood there, trying to get away but Bill didn't see that through his annoyance.

Georg had to swoop in and save you from being uncomfortable, and the last thing you wanted was to be arguing with Bill over something you didn't even want.

"This is so goddamn pointless, Bill. I tried!" You yelled, exhausted from the night and fed up as Bill scoffed.

"You didn't try anything. You stood there and let him flirt with you when I stood there like a dumbass!" Bill countered, visibly angry at you.

"Yeah! You stood there and watched him make me uncomfortable! Georg had to come get me." You sighed, running a hand through your hair to try and calm down.

"For all anyone knows is that you were flirting back! Like you always do!" Bill tried to get it across from his spot standing across from you.

"Like I always do?! Don't throw that shit back at me!" You yelled back, pissed at him for bringing up past relationships before you were even together, and something he already knew wasn't true.

"Don't go there because I didn't do anything wrong. I tried to get away, you stood there like an asshole watching me but are still blaming me."

Bill scoffed, muttering a comment under his breath he would soon regret when the room fell silent.

He soon stilled, a cold sweat running through him as he heard what his own mouth muttered through the room.

Bill looked up to see your face, anger, hurt and shock written across your face.

"Really?" You muttered, you scoffed as you gave a small laugh out of bewilderment as Bill stood up in surprise in himself.

"(Name)-" Bill tried before you cut him off.

"You really wanna fucking go there?" You asked, your voice strong but coming out with the same hurt written across your face.

Bill felt guilty eating up in him, the memories of comforting you about your insecurity of your weight in his mind, bringing up your confidence in yourself as he helped you.

Even holding your hand as you told him about the insecurities, remembering how he comforted you and made you feel like the most beautiful being in the world.

Only to see him crush it as the stupid fucking comment about your own weigh and insecurity was used against you in an argument.

By none other than Bill.

"You're an asshole, Bill." You shook your head, trying to blink away the tears.

You were angry at yourself for what happened at the concert, even if you tried your best to make it stop but was still blamed.

"I'm sorry." Bill apologized quickly, walking closer to you and trying to pull you in for a hug, for both of you but his hand was quickly slapped away.

You backed away towards the door of the room, snatching your arm away from your boyfriend, or what Bill feared, ex-boyfriend.

You were a strong person and Bill knew that, you told him many times that even if it was an insecurity, you wouldn't let it be used against you or let yourself feel like shit because of it.

It had been before by previous boyfriends, and you left their asses because of it, and Bill may even now join that list.

"Don't you fucking touch me." You cursed at Bill, the boy's guilt multiplying as he saw you get rid of the tears, replacing them with anger fueled ones.

"Get the fuck out and get a new hotel room. I'm not gonna be around someone who immediately goes to that when arguing." You told Bill, your boyfriend tried to speak up but nothing came out.

"I told you about it, you even comforted me about it." You scoffed, staring through him as Bill frowned.

"(Name), I'm sorry." Bill apologized once more, trying to step closer to you but stopped when you turned on your heel and walked to the door.

"Get your shit and you better be gone when I get back. I'm not crying over your ass."

Bill watched the door open, hearing it slam against the frame and your footsteps leaving down the hall.

Bill stood in his place, cursing at himself for his own stupidity and trying to find a way to fix this but came up empty.

The only thing Bill could do now was sink down into the seat by the bed, looking around at tour abandoned belongings mixed in with his.

He could only hope for a way to fix what he may have fucking ruined over his own stupidity.

[slutsukio]

how they react when you tell them you like them. ( awotw x black!fem reader )

NETEYAM ! ׄ  ⭑ ⁔

❊ — cant even lie, neteyam was already knew, but he was oblivious as well. he picked up your flirty habits and late night talks with him, and assumed that you liked him.

❊ — "oh i knew that already." he chuckled at you as your jaw hung from straight EMBARASSMENT. he laughed dead at you in your face, before grabbing your hand and planting a sweet kiss on the back-side of it.

❊ — you guys talked that night about what you guys wanted to be, and how not to rush into things if you needed time to think about this more.

❊ — very respectful of your voice and opinions and lets you have the stage when you want to be heard. talked his ear off ALL GODDAMN NIGHT, and apologized in the morning for it.

❊ — after yall got off the phone, he went to go tell lo'ak who was up on the game, and they started celebrating and got hella excited.

❊ — p.s, they daddy came in the room and told them to shut up cus they was too damn loud, and him and lo'ak laughed the rest of the night off.

LO'AK ! ׄ  ⭑ ⁔

❊ — now lo'ak ass, he had to find out from kiri that you liked him. i SWEAR he was so confused, and realized how bad he been fumbling.

❊ —"OHHH SHITTTT." he yelled aloud and whipped out his phone and ran to his room. you answered the facetime call and seen a big smirk on his face.

❊ — "a lil birdie told me you liked me." he spoke to you while giggle and kicking his feet, to obviously make the moment more alive. your eyes widened and you let out a nervous chuckle and trailed off a lil bit.

❊ — he eventually made plans to go out with you, on a date. he had to get neteyam and kiri to help cause he aint wanna fuck it up more than he already had.

❊ — you and lo'ak went on a lil picnic date, and he surprised you with some of your favorite vinyls. jill scott, sade, micheal jackson, etc. had bought you both cookies and wings to talk about some things, before he asked you the big question.

❊ — "so...do you wanna be my girlfriend?" he muttered to you while avoiding eye contact, and you couldn't help but laugh. you jumped in his arms and gave him a lil kiss on the cheek.

❊ — "of course i'd be your girlfriend, stupid." you told him before two big smiles were painted on the both of you guys' faces.

❊ — p.s, he told his homeboys and his brother he got a kiss the first date, knowing damn well it was a PECK.

KIRI ! ׄ  ⭑ ⁔

❊ — you kept it long enough as a secret, thinking all the gifts you gave her were just friendly friends yk. she was SHOCKED, but not in a bad way ofc.

❊ — ever since you guys started dating, she would always hold your hand out in public, wear your bracelets/necklaces, and really cherish everything you give her.

❊ —you gave her a love letter on yall year anniversary (not dating, just knowing eachother), and she started to tear up.

❊ — "noo, baby dont cry." you chuckled and wiped her tears away before hugging her, whilst giggling a little bit. she keeps all of you guys' photos, jewlery, letters, and cards in a lil box, along with her moms stuff too.

❊ — she calls it her "loved ones" or "gifts from my eywa's."

❊ — p.s, her brothers make fun of her about her corny nicknames all the time, but its a sibling thing. they know how much she loves you.

TSIREYA ! ׄ  ⭑ ⁔

❊ — baby girl started to blush and giggle and everything.

❊ — "you like..me?" her surprised tone and her flushed skin made you laugh in her face (not in a rude manner ofc), and kissed her forehead.

❊ —ao'unung be side eyeing yall and everything. "aye aye aye, what yall doin in this room?" he would burst through it and see you guys fake sleeping together.

❊ — you guys are always having dates at both of you guys' houses. her parents welcome you with smiles and warmth, yours do the same with her.

❊ — shes most def the type to send you cute tiktok dances and be like "learn them cus we gonna do this." if you DONT learn them, she aint gon be mad, gonna take the time outta her day and a plethora of tries to get it perfect.

❊ — p.s, lo'ak was crying when you scooped tsireya up before he coulda got the chance to even TALK to her.

A'OUNUNG ! ׄ  ⭑ ⁔

❊ — now THIS nigga right here knew it, just like neteyam. yall was always talking to eachother, play fighting with one another, then going home and telling yalls siblings about eachother.

❊ — tsireya and you hung out alot, and everytime she'd come home ao'unung standing right by the fucking door. "yo, what did you and y/n do today." he asked, tryna take mental notes of what you like.

❊ — when you and your friend group hung out, you saw ao'unung and his homeboys out (like tsireya aint tell him yall was gonna be out), and came up and asked you for yk your numberr so he could "get to know you better."

❊ — when yall started talking, he responded in a blink of a damn eye. this nigga aint NEVER been so thirsty for nobody, he was on his joe goldberg shit.

❊ — after talking for a few months, yall started talking 25/8 and eventually he asked you on a date.

❊ — he had tsireya help and everything, and ofc you said yes and jumped into his arms with a big smile on your face.

❊ — p.s, he the third to last of his homeboys to finally get a gf. the last two were roxto and lo'ak.

❁ suki speaking — why am i just now finding out tsireya is fucking 13. i thought she was fucking 15 atleast. but, enjoy the fluff guys!! giggle, love u all.

[towerartt]

Handsome Jack 8, 12 ❤️‼️

ouhhh so sorry this took me so long to answer...

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

I’ll tell you if you promise not to get mad at me💔

A big chunk of the fandom wrongly views him as the Capitalism Incarnated, while he is quite obviously simply a product of the psychopathy breeding system. Jack’s psychopathy is a reaction to a crime that is uniquely capitalistic. Angel’s kidnapping is a crime of greed. He is, as every Borderlands character, uniquely traumatised by the world he was born into. Borderlands shows what capitalism does to men. Jack is not much different from the psychos/bandits of Pandora. For both, the planet is a prison. Psychos choose to assimilate, and Jack chooses to destroy it. He is the universal threat; neither the poor Pandorians nor the elite are safe from him. 

But does the distinction matter? I believe so. This affects the narrative as a whole. 

We can choose to see Jack as Capitalism, and we get to kill him, and then we all go out for milkshakes. Simple and up-lifting, and very American. But to me, Borderlands is largely pessimistic. Honest people die, the leaders are either cowardly or evil, and the oppressed are often gross, stupid, and difficult to sympathise with. And we cannot kill capitalism, so we kill a scapegoat in its place. The world of Borderlands is fixed: Jack’s death does not affect the status quo; it only frees the tyrant spot for the new, yet-to-come aggressor. This is less satisfying, isn’t it.

(Possibly I am overanalysing a silly shooter game that isn't concerned with a critique of capitalism/colonialism deeper than a simple and straightforward “It is very bad.”)

And despise is a strong word. Interpret him however you want. What I truly despise is haters going "Why are you Jack's apologist?" because he activates my maternal instincts! Next question.

+ personal nitpick. The "Is he/is he not a tragic hero" debate. Girls NONE of you are using the same definition of neither hero nor tragic. I hope a huge asteroid takes out all of us.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

I have soo many so I'll just drop a few here that I haven't talked about before mkay <3

Uncharacteristically (and unsurprisingly) squeamish about burnt flesh. Nisha once brought him a scorched hand after some village burning (it looked kinda funny she thought it would make him laugh how was she suppose to know he is so goddamn sensitive) and he started gagging when she dropped it on his desk. When she gets really mad at him, she dumps some burnt remains at his apartment (she loves him dearly btw)

He journals a lot. Partially because, in his opinion, it is a very Great Leader activity, but also because Angel cannot pry into what he has written down on the pages. He knows this deeply annoys her. She can see everything, and she knows everything except for her father's thoughts. Sometimes Jack makes Angel echo him and patiently wait while he finishes his entry to really rub it in. He sometimes draws her.

I hope this is comprehensible. Part of Jack’s mythos being that he only has scars on his front, kinda like Alexander the Great, because a real hero always bravely faces his enemies. But actually, his back is a mess of scars from childhood. Wouldn’t that be fucked up?? All his fanatics are like "Erm, Jack would never ever let anybody get him from behind because he is SUPER cool and smart, and he never runs away from a fight <33" I think this would add to his inferiority complex.

Thank you for this ask💕 Ouhhh I love talking about this guy

[galactic-academia]

Love One Another (As I Have Loved You)

Continuation to Finding God and Divine Wrath

Rating: M; minors, pass your way.

Category: F/M

Fandom: The Young Pope

Relationship: Lenny Belardo x F!Reader

Tags: language, sexy times drowned into metaphors, angst, unrequited (?) love, Chrismas mass, Reader smokes cigaret and has hair long enough to get pulled; TW: rejection, loneliness. Read as "The author chose not to warn for content, or Archive Warnings could apply, but the author has chosen not to specify them" on AO3. Don't hesitate to message me to get more informations if you want to read this story but don't feel like starting it without full warnings.

Words: 873

Notes: Set before Lenny became pope, but after he became Cardinal and the Archbishop of New York. Don't blame me, blame the Noots (don't, for I love my Noots).

Masterpost | Ask | Guidelines |

This is ridiculous.

You and Lenny… It has always been complicated. You’re both piggy-headed and have far too much pride for anything between the two of you being a bed of roses, even without considering his situation. But this outdoes all the shit you’ve come through.

There, on a Christmas day, you’re chain-smoking on your couch while glaring at your TV. Monseigneur Belardo is celebrating mass into St Patrick’s Cathedral before thousands of believers, since the whole affair is broadcasted on TV. And truly, this is ridiculous. 

He’s been babbling for almost an hour now, about love, and peace, and forgiveness and you would laugh your heart out if you weren’t so goddamn mad. Please, Lenny Belardo doesn’t know shit about peace and has never practiced forgiveness. As for love… He shouldn’t be authorized to even spell the fucking word.

The first time you fucked Lenny, long before he became the a Cardinal and the Archbishop of New York, it wasn’t about love. Transgression, yes; sacrilege, certainly; but “love” was never mentioned. But when he cupped your hips in his large, almost trembling hands to receive the bestowal of your body like he would hold the chalice with the wine become blood of Christ; when he came to your altar as often - in not more - as he went to Jesus’ one, maybe it didn’t need to be told? Maybe Lenny didn’t need words and labels to love you.

What a fool you have been.

When Lenny’s been called to a “higher destiny” than the one he had in your humble city, you followed him. No question asked. You left your job and you sold your house and you came to New-York, ready for a new life, and you weren’t afraid, for Lenny was with you. Should have been with you.

But you wouldn’t believe what a fucking cardinal has to do. Meetings, business trips, phone calls to one end of the world and then the other. Masses, benedictions, public appearances, preachings… Maybe he has some time to pray, while he’s brushing his teeth… 

He didn’t have time for you, and his secretary was beginning to be rude with you; when she hung up on you after one too many calls to his office, you lost it. You went to his place and cried for him until the security came and tried to make you leave and Lenny stopped them. For the first time in weeks, he finally was before you.

You weren’t prepared to get sermonized.

“This is my life, now”, he has said, “I’m a servant of God and I must honor Him”.

And it hurts you to think back about it now, the tears in your eyes and the tremor in your voice when you told him “I thought you loved me”. What a stupid thing to say in the first place…

“I only love God.”

Now, it seems laughable how, the closer to God he thinks to get, the more his heart desiccates. It didn’t make you laugh, then.

To see him spout all that nonsense in front of an adoring audience, it riles you up. You can feel it simmer low in your belly. Isn’t he pretty, that bastard, all in white; an albino peacock doing a cartwheel in front of its court. And that smile… You’ll never get tired of that smile. It calls troubles, fun troubles; a bratty behavior met with a few, powerful slaps and a punishing pace. You can almost still feel his hand pulling on your hair.

Fuck, you liked it when he lost control over himself and get a little rough with you. You suspect he came harder when he could see tears rolling down your cheeks.

As the choir ends and Lenny comes back to his pulpit, opening his arms and making his voice vibrate through the cathedral, you can’t help but rub your thighs together. It’s been too long. And why not, after all? Isn’t Christmas about love? It would be relevant, for once, giving yourself some love on Christmas day, yeah? So you drown out Lenny’s soliloquy - the man has always been his better audience, anyway - and let your fingers play another anthem; your eyes never leaving his angelic face.

You push yourself over the edge quickly, never better served than by yourself, yeah? Well… It’s efficient, at least. In a haze you see the assembly get up and turn to each other to shake hands, kiss on the cheeks - sometimes both - and Lenny stays there, petrified. Alone, standing high in a storm of people bending toward each other, let in peace to witness his fellow human beings show affection to one another. Just as he asked them to.

And, once again, you would laugh - if you couldn’t feel your heart shattering into your chest. He looks both so majestic and lonely in the center of that magnificent cathedral, surrounded by those ethereal lights. You miss him.

Not five minutes after the end of the Service, as you’re still breathing a little hard, your phone lights up and starts to vibrate. You shouldn’t pick up, not after the crap he dumped on you.

You shouldn’t pick it up.

You shouldn’t pick it up.

You shouldn’t pick it up.

You shoul-

Back to The Young Pope Masterlist

[ladysomething]

hun, you sure as hell honor your name, couse you're mad. as in mad mad. madhatter kind lf mad iykwim

still, I missed my favorite mad mad angsty-hate-complot-ish-sex writer and being here but now I'm back from the dead to do once again 5+1

1. btw loved the chapter, but I had to remind myself that it's ficticion, because I was this close to pulling my hair. my goodness they really are stupid aren't they? and I might need to kidnap and torture Christian to get him to spill the goddamn tea because Max won't do it. asshole. and funny question I have a feeling you won't asnwer or was already asked. what's the relationship that Jean Luc and Max have? like, was he there in the oast with Kelly as well? from where and how do they know each other?

2. look, I like Pierre irl. kinda. sometimes. but here he's getting on my nerves more than he would usually. I really don't get his side of his relationship with Charles and that's something I forgot to ask from last chapter. because the heck was that shit of letting Charles do stuff. like, first he acts like a big protective brother, then he starts kinda controlling and then he goes on to do the alpha version of dick meassurent with Max? I desperately need some light on this. is it gonna be cleared some day in the future or am I never getting that answer?

3. and the fact that Charles got the end of the stupid fight like what the actual fuck is wrong with people in this society. this is not a movie where two idiots fight for the damsel in distress. do better *judgemental look*

4. very time Max uses his alpha voice, a fairy looses their wings. and he himself looses a part of his heart. I find it awfully confusing that he keeps doing it over and over and over, and then dares to make me feel bad about him feeling bad about Charles feeling bad and the action itself. fuck him honestly. I mean, Charles' on the task, but you know what I mean

5. is the 2025 ferrari line up happening here as well? does Max knows LH is gonna be Charles' new teammate or how's that situation here, because I feel like that could be trouble. wonder why.

+1. jesus FUUUUUCK that shit was a campfire. hot. like. hooot. I've recently discovered that I have a thing *specially* for Max in fics *specifically* when he's about to have sex with Charles, or already having sex with him and then he laughs or smiles or smirkS GOOD FUCKING LORD. and he did here. I almost passed out of hotness. or. is it horniness? idk

+2. your uptades always catch me when I'm at work. so obviously I have to either risk myself to eternal bullying and open ao3 in the middle of my office or in the lounge or go to the bathroom for 20+ minutes and have everyone thinking I either died or ate something thay was rotten since 1965. it's always worth either way. I saw someone saying that this fic hits like cocaine and look. I've never done cocaine but I share the feeling. sure as fuck I do. this is my way to thank you for your service contributing to get me insane piece by piece.

omg you're back!!!!! hi!!!! I hope everything is ok with you.

obvi I won't answer, but everything will be revealed in the fic!! but I willlll sayyyyy ... Max and Jean-Luc have known each other for a while :)

we have absolutely not seen the last of pierre! but I can kinda answer a little bit, even though it's a cop out - but a lot of his behaviour can be boiled down to the fact that he's and alpha, and feels super protective over Charles.

for real Charles was catching strays. he was like ..... but what'd I do?

hahahahaha yeah he's a complex little bean isn't he?? hates using it, and yet .... makes you wonder what kind of things he was maybe taught as a kind about how to deal with omegas ....

hah I wish I could make that ferrari line up work, but tbh this was all plotted out before that announcement so. no, its currently not a thing in this universe.

+ 1. Max is just. so hot. in every iteration of him.

+2. please let me know if you ever read it at work (either in front of people or in the bathroom) so I know if that happened. I'd really love to know.

[pansy-picnics]

Missing Lance hours

god same. literally all day every day i am thinking about lance. i’m so tired of him being the “hard one to draw” just because he’s a large bald black man and so he always either is absent from fanart or just gets completely butchered. like i know from experience IF U CAN FIGURE OUT HOW TO DRAW EUGENE U CAN FIGURE OUT HOW TO DRAW LANCE. ITS LITERALLY NOT THAT HARD TO LOOK UP THAT DESCRIPTION AND FIND A BUNCH OF REFERENCES!!!! U JUST NEED TO ACTUALLY PUT IN THE EFFORT TO TRY!!!!

OK. whatever. sorry. i’m getting worked up again. i need to say though i don’t think anyone gives him enough credit for THIS fucking scene

BECAUSE LIKE OH MY GOD??? EVERYONE WAS JUST BRUTE FORCING THIS FIGHT THEY WOULD’VE LOST SO HARD IF LANCE WASN’T THE ONE TO IMMEDIATELY REALIZE THAT DESTROYING THE STATUES WOULD STOP THE GHOSTS FROM SUMMONING….not even edmund and like HE FUCKING LIVES HERE???? like my dude this is literally YOUR house get your weird ass uncle under control already. goddamn.

PEOPLE ARE SOOO QUICK TO CALL LANCE STUPID AND IMPULSIVE JUST BC HE LIKES TO BE A LITTLE SILLY AND GOOFY WHEN HIS GUARD IS DOWN. but especially when you remember that lance is a very cautious and anxious dude and yet this scene makes it so clear that he’s an absolute POWERHOUSE under pressure and i’m SO MAD THAT WE DIDN’T GET TO SEE MORE OF THAT!!!!!!

look at this face girl. this is NOT the face of someone who’s acting absentmindedly on his first impulse. he KNEW what he was doing he had an idea and he was RIGHT and he SLAYED he’s INSANEEEEE.

whenever i think about lance strongbow i am instantly filled with the rage of a thousand suns. i’m currently punching holes in drywall. kill me.

[cowboy-robooty]

FUCK WIENERS DAD.

HE ISNT LIKE EMOTIONALLY OR PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE OR ANYTHNG. HES JUST SO FUCKING USELESS!!! THIS BITCH IS DESTROYING WIENERS ENTIRE FUCKING HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS NOT EVEN A JOKE. THEY CANT EVEN USE THE BATHROOM ANYMORE BECAUSE HIS FATASS BROKE THE BATHROOM AND NOW THEY HAVE TO USE THE GUEST ONE. THIS BITCH FORCED WIENERS ENTIRE FAMILY TO FUMIGATE THE ENTIRE FUCKING HOUSE (HAS BEEN DOING THIS FOR LIKE 2 WEEKS NOW BTW) BECAUSE HIS STUPIDASS KEEPS EATING FOOD AT 3 IN THE MORNING AND THEN HE JUST LEAVES HIS HALF EATEN SHIT ALL OVER THE PLACE! IT ATTRACTS BUGS. RATS. FUCKING CREATURES AND NOW THEIR HOUSE IS INFESTED AND THEY HAVE TO FREAKING FILL IT WITH POISONOUS GAS TO KILL FUCKING EVERRRYYTHINGG INSIDE! WIENER COULDNT EVEN MAKE KOREAN NOODLES BECAUSE HIS KITCHEN IS A LITERAL DEATH TRAP. "TO BE FAIR THE ONLY GOOD THING HES DOING RIGHT NOW IS FIXING MY MOMS CAR FOR FREE AND THIS TIME HE WASN'T EVEN THE ONE WHO RUINED THE CAR" - WIENER. BITCH. THEY HAVE ANOTHER CAR TO USE. BUT THEY CANT FUCKING USE IT BECAUSE ITS HIS DADS TRINKETMOBILE THATS SO INSANELY FUCKED UP AND FILLED TO THE BRIM WITH BULLSHIT. AND PROBABLY ACTUAL SHIT. HUMAN. DOG. HORSE. CAT. I DONT FUCKIN KNOW BRO BUT IT IS NOT RIGHT. THE ENTIRE FUCKING THING IS COVERED IN DUST SOMEHOW AND HES JUST RUINING EVERYONES LIFE. EVERYTIME THEY TELL HIM TO CLEAN UP AFTER HIMSELF HE SAYS THAT ITS THE MANS JOB TO DO WORK AND ITS THE WOMANS JOB TO CLEAN. BITCH DONT EVEN GOT A JOB. HE IS UNEMPLOYED AS FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE LIVES LIKE GODDAMN GINTOKI ALL HE DOES IS ODD JOBS FOR FAMILY MEMBERS. HIS MOM HAS TO WORK A 12 HOUR JOB EVERY SINGLE DAY TO MAKES ENDS MEET AND THEN IS ALWAYS MAD BECAUSE SHE COMES HOME TO A DESTROYED ASS HOUSE BECAUSE HER STUPID FAILASS HUSBAND RUINED IT AGAIN!! WIENER AND HIS BROTHER AND HIS MOM ARE ALWAYS FUCKING CLEANING EVERY SINGLE DAY BECAUSE HIS DAD IS JUST LEAVING SHIT EVERYWHERE. HE DRINKS OUT OF THE MILK JUG. EVEN THOUGH THEY KEEP TELLING HIM TO FUCKING STOP!!!!! HE. IS. AN. ANIMAL! HE CANT EVEN WIPE HIS OWN DAMN ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RN WIENER TOLD ME HES OUTSIDE WORKING AND TINKERING. BITCH TINKERING ON WHAT? HE AINT EVEN FIXING THE CAR RN. BRO IS JUST MAKING RANDOM SHIT IN THE YARD. HES LESS GOOD AT MAKING SHIT THAN FUCKIN DOUBLE D FROM ED EDD N EDDY. GOD. DAMN. (PHOTOS BELOW ARE PROOF OF THIS ANIMALS MADNESS)

MAKE THIS BITCH FUCKING STOP. OR DIE SO HELL STOP.

LIKE TO CHARGE

REBLOG TO CAST

[pwnyta]

tell me about lost in general bc i watched it vaguely as it was releasing but i was. a child. and never rewatched it and i love learning abt media secondhand through ppl who are rlly into it bc i always learn things in variable order or with immense biases. :)c

THATS SO MUCH RESPONSIBILITY!!! THERES SO TO EXPLAIN!!!

Well obviously.... LOST is about a bunch of survivors of a plane that crashed on a mysterious spooky island and happenings HAPPEN & shenanigans ensue but the story is so twisty turny there is no way I could possibly explain...

BUT I WILL TALK ABOUT MY BLORBOS!!!

FROM MY SHOW!!!

We'll get these three dumbasses outta the way. In order-

Jack. Hes a doctor and the main guy of the series.

Kate. Shes a criminal. The main girl of the series

Sawyer. Hes way better then the other two also a criminal the rival love interest for Kate.. hes gruff. Hes smarmy. he makes insensitive jokes about people. He gets a way more interesting story than the other two. Hes like Daryl Dixon from TWD except actually hot and not stupid as hell. Theyre basically the same guy.

The tension between these 3 fuckin idiots is SO played out. None of this is Kates fault but her character is made significantly worse when this love triangle turned love... square when Juliet gets added later. Jack gets with both Kate and Juliet at some point and theyre both way more interesting with basically anyone else. Including Sawyer!!!

This is all Jacks fault. As per usual.

Jacks claim to fame- Being wrong... all the god damn time. So much that he does is just not correct. Except being nice to Sayid. That is always correct.

Kates Claim to fame- Bein bogged down by fuckin love interests and being an immediately better character when not around them. Especially when shes with Claire.

Sawyers Claim to fame- Bein a redneck guy.

Sun and Jin. Sun is the daughter of some shady business man and Jin, because he loves Sun, ends up working for her father and their life kinda spirals for a bit NGL but they get SOOOO much better.

MY BABIES.... DO NOT SEPARATE THEM.

Sun and Jin are so fucking good its actually crazy. Initially Jin was gonna just get killed off for bein a bastard but (presumably) the writers were like 'Are we really gonna waste DANIEL DAE KIM like that? Are we being so for real? Have you seen him???' And they changed their minds and Sun and Jin are both so precious and I LOVE THEM SO MUCH I DONT WANNA SPOIL THINGS BUT I LOVE THEM. Theyre hands scene.... I WILL CRY FOREVER.

Suns Claim to fame- Crackin Ben in the dome cuz she REASONABLY didnt believe him! Jack could never.

Jins Claim to fame- Being found in the woods occasionally by world weary friends and instantly making theyre day better.

Walt and Michael...

I think what happened here is Walt grew too quickly for the show and he just sorta got let go... which left Michael with NOT MUCH ELSE TO DO.

BUT THE WRITERS DID THIS MAN SO FUCKING DIRTY ITS INSANE. The fandom too! Walt gets kidnapped by some dudes AT GUN POINT. AT SEA!!! AND NO ONE FUCKING CARED... EXCEPT MICHAEL. But people got REAL MAD at Michael for everything he did after in desperation to get his son back. MICHAEL DID NOTHING WRONG(except for all the wrongs he did but we forgive him.)

Michaels relationship with Sun & Jin was great. First there was a thing with Sun and Jin... and then Sun with Michael... and then Jin and Michael (A wild and adorable friendship holy shit)...

Anyways Michael deserved better KEEP MY WIFES NAME OUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH. Wasting Harold Perrineau... Imma watch OZ instead THATLL SHOW YOU.

Walts Claim to fame- Bein a lil cutie pie of like 5 minutes & then getting kicked off the show for growing like 12 feet an hour (speculation)

Michaels Claim to fame- Ruining Hurleys date & becoming Sun and Jins boyfriend.

Charlie and Claire! Charlie is drug addict member of the band DRIVE SHAFT! Claire is a pregnant lady whos secretly something to someone else but we wont get into it.

They are sometimes cute sometimes cursed Claire deserves better and NOT PENNYS BOAT STILL MAKES ME CRY. GOOD BYE.

Charlies Claim to Fame- Putting his hand on glass and devastating a community of innocent fans.

Claires Claim to Fame- Taking care of 'Aaron' IYKYK

Sayid has such a cursed life... if anyone has watched VLD... its worse than what they did to Shiro. People he loves keeps dying, hes forced to kill people, every time he gets hurt he looks up with his big sad brown eyes and says he deserves it. he tries so hard to be a good man... WHY DO THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO HIM.

Claim to fame- His big sad brown eyes and his luscious curls... and that time he snapped a mans neck with his ankles after he was tied up and beaten and held at gun point... As one does.

And then theres THIS fuckin freak... JOHN LOCKE.

His dad stole his kidney and threw him out a window paralyzing him from the waist down and he acts completely normal because of that throughout the rest of the show. (HES PHENOMENAL.)

Claim to fame- DONT EVER TELL ME WHAT I CANT DO!!!!!

Then theres HUGO. BEST BOY!!!! Hes basically the only normal person on this entire island. Sometimes bad things happen to him THROUGH NO FAULT OF HIS OWN OH MY GOD PLEASE BE NICE TO HIM.

Claim to fame- HURLEY HUGS!!!! GOLLY HE HUGS SO MANY PEOPLE AND THEYRE ALL HAPPY ABOUT IT!!! EVEN MILES! And Miles could find a way to complain about ANYTHING.

-----

Those are like the MAIN GUYS.

WHO THE HELL IS NIKKI!? We just dont know.

But have some important other guys~

DESMOND AND PENNY....

(me blubbering and bawling)

Claim to fame- (I just continue pointing and crying) CHARLIEEEE

BEN LINUS!!!

I know I called John a freak but heres John bigger freak of a boyfriend/tormentor/tormentee... This mans name is Been Lyin' basically and he'll lie about anything anywhere at anytime at all down here in the deep blue sea! AND PEOPLE JUST KEEP BELIEVING HIM. So at some point you just go... 'well they kinda deserve it.'

Michael Emersons performance as Ben Linus was so fuckin good they kept him on for the rest of the series even tho he was definitely not supposed to be there that long. IT WAS THE BEST DECISION. BEN IS SO GOOD(as a character in LOST hes a bastard otherwise.)

Claim to fame- Gettin his ass beat constantly. In a funny way. Sayid also gets bullied a lot but Sayid doesnt deserve it. BEN DOES. ITS FUNNY EVERY TIME.

Rousseau is a crazy French woman who lives in the woods. She does torture Sayid a little and a lesser woman would be incinerated for that action alone....... but I love Rousseau.

Claim to fame- Taking any opportunity to beat the shit outta Ben. Good for her.

Abaddon! Hes not an important character really at all... THEY DIDNT DO ANYTHING WITH LANCE REDDICK!?!?!? THEY JUST KILLED HIM!?!? FOR WHAT REASON DO YOU HIRE LANCE REDDICK AND DO NOTHING WITH HIS CHARACTER!?

Claim to Fame- BEING PLAYED BY LANCE REDDICK!!!!!!!

There are a bunch of other characters... ones that I love... like Frank and Miles and Mr Eko and Nikki and Paulo(who the hell are Nikki and Paulo!?) and Rose and Bernard and Boone and Shannon but I'll leave you with one last character.

VINCENT!!!!!! SUCH A GOOD BOY!!!

Claim to Fame- Making sure a certain someone does not die alone cuz they lived together.

I just wanna talk about LOST with you Just wanna kinda get LOST in you ya~ Was thinking maybe I could watch LOST with you cuz im already~ LOST IN YOU~

[kyogre-blue]

OK, Wuwa chapter 1 is done.

It turns out the place I stopped last night was the very last scene of Act V, and Act VI is just the extended finale of chapter 1.

It was... a very mixed bag! If I had to describe it in a word, I would pick "clumsy."

The ideas they were going for are mostly fine, and their execution at least clearly shows what they were trying to do, but man. It gets aggressively Too Much at multiple points, the gameplay is so hand-holdy in parts that I honestly feel kind of confused as to what kind of audience testing led to this (are most people really this stupid??), and the details are, as always, painfully unpolished.

Speaking more specifically, I'll give an example. When defending the city, several NPCs show up to fight too. It's cool seeing them using their skill and ults, I like that! However, not only Verina, but even Yuanwu and Lianyang show up. We haven't even met Yuanwu before and he's, from all indications, just some dude who runs a gym. Every time he talks and then inexplicably shows up in montages of Rover thinking about everyone who is counting on him and Jiyan, it's just so silly. We don't know him! And Lianyang just looks so goofy with the liondancing in this extremely serious situation. I haven't even done his character quest yet, team. Be real, how much did the government give you for this character...

This is a case where less would have been more. Just leave it at Verina healing people, Taoqi getting introduced as leading the NPCs in battle, and Chixia as the face of people we actually know enough to care about.

And it's not the only example. There's stuff like how awkward it feels when everyone talks about Rover, Yangyang and even Baizhi with just first name and no other comment, like they're all very familiar with each other, which doesn't really make much sense. It feels very forced. Or stuff like Jiyan making you "pick" where the troops will be positioned during the operation, but there's only one correct answer anyway, so what was this even for? And just the general excessive amount of padding that isn't congruent with the urgent atmosphere.

(All of this is not helped by the poor EN voice direction.)

Which brings us to the gameplay. I won't comment on them giving us a full party of nothing but trial characters for the entire act, it isn't really a big deal either way. But the "platforming" was just... who the hell needed Jiyan to comment about every single use of the grapple? The grapple points freaking glow! There's nothing else to do anyway! Just explain it once and players can figure it out from there! It was so ridiculous.

And then there's the little details like the "Trial Resonator has left/joined the party" popping up over dramatic cutscenes. It's almost funny. Jiyan is leaving the party! Jiyan is joining the party! This is starting to look like a parody with the uuuuh gameplay and story integration here.

However, the two most unfortunate points were the minor gripes that ruined the very, very end for me. 1) Saved by an ugly mascot. 2) Stupid sounding storyteller cap off.

Not only does it look extremely silly to be shielded by a little mascot's butt with its bunny tail, but the mascot is pretty ugly. Why this thing...... who asked...... especially given the overall tone and vibe of Wuwa??

And then the storyteller.... god, I hate storytellers. They are so fucking awful, I do not understand the CN game obsession with them. Bruh, I don't need some dumb-sounding asshole to tell me the story, I'm playing an interactive modern medium so I can watch the story be acted out by the goddamn characters.

I was so mad I literally took out my headphones and did not perceive anything past the mascot. Which I also hated.

It was otherwise a passable if rather jank ending to the storyline, suitably dramatic and at least there was Jiyan, but those two last points....

Anyway, I'm mildly disappointed that we didn't beat the Threnobian (it just left) and nothing else interesting except the mascot was revealed. Jiyan was nice tho, and I'll play his character quest next, I guess.

[ask-teamplayer]

what do you guys all think of fate?

DARIN: not gunna lie sometime it b like

DARIN: ALL HAIL OUR GREAT FOREVER LEADER

DARIN: i aint know SHIT abt communism but we livin close to it with that guy

DARIN: that cute ass guy...

DARIN: cute as in cutie but also cute ass

DARIN: hes got a really cute ass im sayin

SETH: yeah, hes really hard to like... dislike!

SETH: he just worms his way under your skin and you cant even be mad at the little guy. hes just so charming and funny!

SETH: ive known him since i was young, so i have the best word here. how can you not fall in love with him a little??? bro love i mean. you know. how can you not just wanna wrap him up in a blanket??

NAHLA: Neeeerrrrdsss.

NAHLA: He is so full of bullshit, and honestly it's kind of crazy you think he's some kind of powerful leader type! He only breaks up fights because you're weak for him. So weaakk.

NAHLA: He is fun to prank. I will give you that and that only! It's funny to see him go on his little fits! Maybe that "small people are closer to hell" thing had some truth to it! Haha.

SETH: sure, nahla...

RONIN: yeah, f's probably the reason im friends with any of you stupid fucking people. he deserves some credit for that.

VERA: Hey now

RONIN: shit. except you, v. i dont know if we wouldve met without his divine intervention but i never wouldve hated you.

RONIN: we've got a trio thing going on with the guy, if you havent noticed, anon. he just forces us introverts to talk to each other, so i guess thats one thing he succeeded on.

CORA: I swear hearing the friend group discuss Fate without him in the room is always interesting. It's like he's some kind of friendship zeitgeist. Whenever he's in the room he's the center of attention, whenever he's out of it he's the center of discussion.

CORA: Somehow, every topic of colloquy we as a group have circles around to that boy and his many complexities. I enjoy his presence and participate in many philosophical discussions with him, but I'm more interested in the impact he leaves.

CORA: Every boy I am mutually friends with never shuts the fuck up about him. Even the straightest of macho men I have spoken with who accept his identity. It's quite humorous and frustrating.

LILY: hes silly :P

CORA: That as well...

ENZO: honestly its hard to tell if some of yall are too harsh on him except nahla in which case its really fuckin obvious and you gotta learn some empathy but whatever im not your dad

ENZO: dudes a goddamn sweetie pie but also a little asshole he balances it

ENZO: like the second i get uncomfortable he descends upon me like a shark smelling blood in the water to pamper me like im a fuckin handbag dog and hand out food and reassurances and sort the shit out he literally will just not let me be anxious ever no matter the circumstances

ENZO: he brings fuckin FANNY PACKS sometimes when we re out of school like he is THAT GUY

ENZO: i dont even think he knows half of what he does to me cause he drives me crazy lmao

CORA: As I said: Never shuts the fuck up about him. Homo-erotically crazy about this boy.

CORA: It's fascinating.

ENZO: yo cora i get its like your thing but can you interrogate me about my nonexistent sexuality issues a lil less cause i can fuckin hear you and its not all that polite

ENZO: im from the south i can make jokes like i ever experienced politeness in my life bro! shut up i literally just like the guy cause hes nice im not in the mood today

FATE: Sorry, bathroom break.

FATE: What are we talking about?

ENZO: NOTHING

CORA: Don't worry your pretty little head about it.

FATE: Cool.