#ive officially gotten stupider

[skyrim-forever]

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

mewhen i

[pshcomforts]

➳ falling in love | psh. & pjs.

collegestudent!sunghoon x fem!reader, collegestudent!jay x fem!reader (feat. wonyoung from ive)

“i feel falling in love with all my heart”

synopsis: you and sunghoon have become distant ever since he started going out with wonyoung, allowing you to be closer with jay.

warning/content: written in third pov. angst. fluff. slight angst ending(?) not proofread. cursing. hoon’s not really in here a lot (sorry). jay ending <3 (this one kinda hurt)

comments, likes, and reposts are appreciated :)

word count: 6.7k

a/n: part one — ₊˚ʚ let you break my heart again ɞ˚₊

fictional characters — dae (jungwon’s boyfriend), min-su (heeseung’s girlfriend), and ji-woo (jake’s girlfriend). the long awaited part two!!

༘˚⋆𐙚｡masterlist⋆.✧˚

current song playing: falling in love by cigarettes after sex

↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺

1:11 ───────|──────────── -2:53

months had passed since sunghoon and wonyoung were officially dating.

and from then on, him and y/n haven’t been the same. she’s kept a clear distance in everything, ensuring that girl code was still relevant for his girlfriend.

wonyoung was thankful for it. she didn’t need to worry about the usual girl friend waiting for the perfect moment to seize the guy.

in fact, y/n steered clear of the couple so much that sunghoon and her didn’t even talk on the daily basis anymore.

no more constant texts. no more late night calls. no more stupid inside jokes.

they’d all now been reserved for wonyoung..

and jay.

ever since the girl accidentally bursted into tears in front of him, they’ve gotten slightly closer.

and being the gentleman his parents raised him to be, jay always ensured she was okay before her class started by walking her there every day — even if his classes were across campus.

he was a change from sunghoon.

usually, hoon would tease and make fun of y/n, but with jay, he was sweet and gentle — careful, almost, with how he treated her.

it was definitely something she’d have to adjust to but she didn’t mind. the 5’11 boy was comforting to her in every way.

but even then, she did kind of miss sunghoon. he just always got her, and she always got him. it seemed like he didn’t mind the change either though, as long as he was with wonyoung, he was okay.

because he wasn’t y/n’s. he was never to begin with.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

“hey,” ji-woo snapped her fingers at y/n, who instantly shot her head up.

“hm?”

“girl are you okay? you keep spacing out..,”

y/n groaned out a sigh before planting her head on min-su’s shoulder. “i’m fine.., i’m just really tired from the last minute study session i had with jay yesterday.”

“you guys studied again?” she heard min-su muffle on the side.

“yeah, he asked so i just went along with it.”

the atmosphere became quiet after her words processed to everyone. “what..?” she asked with shifting eyes.

“doesn’t jay usually hate study sessions?” dae mumbled.

“yeah but he really needed help on his assignment, and i just happened to be there.”

the boy shifted his gaze to ji-woo once more, allowing y/n to catch on and glance at min-su with a — ‘the hell are they doing?’ — kind of look, just for her friend to snort out a laugh.

“don’t look at me, i’ve been with hee since last night.” min-su defended.

y/n nodded before looking at the other two. “why do you guys keep looking at each other like that?”

“um well.., don’t you think it’s a little suspicious that jay wanted to do a study session when he hates them?” ji-woo murmured.

“no.. we’re friends with him, he’d ask any one of us for help.”

dae grumbled a sigh of slight irritation before replying, “yeah but he asked you, y/n, when it’s been almost two years since you took that class.”

“mhm.. and didn’t you say you were kind of getting over sunghoon?” jake’s girl interrogated once more.

y/n sighed, shaking her head at her friends. min-su, who quickly caught on, spoke — “alright alright that’s enough, let her get some rest before her class starts.”

the group went on to talk about something else as y/n stayed stuck on ji-woo’s words. it was true that she was getting slightly over her crush, but that was only because she basically never saw him as much as she used to.

he was still in the friend group, but he just never felt present in her eyes anymore. the only thing they’d exchange would be a soft laugh when somebody joked, but other than that, the relationship was gone.

maybe she just missed how it was, or maybe she just missed him and his homely presence.

“y/n?? did you even hear us?” dae snapped with furrowed brows.

she lost her train of thought as she looked over to jungwon’s boyfriend, who continued to wear a worried look. “sorry.. i got distracted, what?” she murmured.

“we’re gonna go out with our men this weekend, just to a farmers market and walk around. wanna come with us? we miss you..,” ji-woo chimed in with hopeful eyes.

“i’m right here…,” the girl attempted to joke, causing light giggles to go around in the circle.

“girl we haven’t properly seen you in weeks. you’re either studying at home or you’re with jay somewhere.” min-su added in.

y/n’s stomach randomly dropped at the statement of being with jay elsewhere. her heartbeats were getting slightly heavier and her fingers were fidgeting with each other. she knew this feeling. she knew it a little too well.

“i’m not always with jay..,” she tried to deflect.

dae giggled at her state. “i swear whenever i see you on campus, jay’s beside you.”

“he’s just a comforting friend..,”

“yeah so bring him when we go out this weekend!” jake’s girlfriend beamed with a plastered grin.

it was obvious that the group was trying to get her mind off of hoon now that he was with wonyoung, but y/n had to admit, it was strange. she used to always have her ears be filled with mumbling words from them of how her and her favorite boy would get together soon.

but it was gone. that moment was gone now, and she didn’t know whether to be glad or ashamed that she was moving on a little too quick.

so instead, the girl just whipped her head to her friend. “what, so him and i could 7th wheel you three?” she shot, head already shaking in disagreement.

“well if you bring him then it won’t be 7th wheeling!” dae attempted to reason.

“is this really your guys’ way of convincing me to go when i won’t have fun?”

“what won’t be fun?” niki’s voice suddenly boomed from min-su’s behind.

y/n groaned as she found a few members taking the empty seats around the table, jay voluntarily sitting next to her. “they’re trying to make me 7th wheel on saturday, i should say no right?”

the maknae snorted out a laugh before placing his elbow onto her shoulder. “they’re really gonna torture you like that?” he mumbled in a snicker.

“right! that’s what i’m saying!”

jay chuckled, dusting niki’s arm off of his friend’s shoulder as he uttered, “why would they do that?”

“we’re trying to make her go out more!” ji-woo panned with an eye roll, causing jake to holler out laughs as he responded, “love, is it really the best way to have her go out with couples after spending weeks to get comfortable around sunghoon and wonyoung?”

“he’s got a point, babe.” jungwon commented, looking directly in dae’s eyes with sparkles. “she’ll still have fun though!” the boy tried to defend, avoiding his favorite boy’s features.

“heeseung’s not even here to make it worst but all this couple stuff with just those two is making me sick. how will i survive it being three couples?” y/n gagged, body shaking in horror.

the handsome male beside her chuckled as he gave a soft ruffle to her hair. “good luck with that, text me if you get bored.” jay suggested.

there it was again. the nervous bubbles fuming in her stomach, the eye pupils dilating after meeting eye contact. it was happening.

“don’t be surprised if your phone gets filled with my text messages.” y/n joked back, hoping that he didn’t see through her.

the male probably would’ve if sunghoon hadn’t just entered in with wonyoung linked beside one of his arms.

“who’s getting spammed?” hoon tried to beam in while taking a seat across from his old friend.

he instantly locked eyes with her but she tore her gaze away, looking at ji-woo instead. “they’re trying to make me go somewhere with them,” y/n said, trying to ignore the obvious awkward tension.

ji-woo wore a half smile as she squeezed her boyfriend’s hands out of instinct. “she should go right?” she asked to sunghoon.

the male only nodded, and y/n wasn’t sure if anyone else caught on but she found him holding back a joke that he’d usually make if they were still close.

ouch.

her head lowered once she felt her heart grip on a little tighter in her chest, each vein tingling in despair.

“you should go, y/n, you never want to go out anywhere,” she heard him say. those words were the first thing he’s ever said to her in months. and again, it was strange.

he’d usually say something along the lines of — “don’t go out, let’s just stay at my place and we’ll study” — but he wasn’t there for her anymore.

immediately, the poor girl was then reminded of the times when it’d just be the two hanging with each other. no one else, but them.

they were introverts, but they were extroverts when they were together. when one wasn’t feeling it, the other would be there just to be a comforting presence.

tears filled her eyes as she bit her lips from holding them in. it felt stupid to tear up about something like this, but she couldn’t help it. they didn’t talk anymore, and sunghoon seemed completely fine with it.

y/n was too, but she just needed time to adjust. after all, he did nothing wrong.

as she remained quiet, she felt jay nudge her with his elbow, causing her to look at him with confused eyes.

the male shifted his attention to her and watched how her beautifully glistened eyes emphasized her thoughts. he only raised his brows though, gesturing that she should respond back.

“i don’t know yet. i’m still debating,” she tried to laugh off.

once again, she avoided eye contact with sunghoon, turning to look at dae and min-su instead.

“hoonie’s right, you should go! it’ll be fun especially after working so hard, y/n!” wonyoung chimed in with a sweet smile.

‘hoonie..,’ y/n thought. ‘his nickname..,’

she looked up to the pretty girl and grinned back. in her peripheral vision, she could see the scattered exchanges from min-su to ji-woo, and then ji-woo to dae, and then dae to jungwon, and so forth.

did it hurt that she heard somebody else call him hoonie? sure, but she wasn’t gonna rampage about it.

he wasn’t hers to be acting like that in the first place.

“you’re right, wonyoung. i should go huh??” the girl immediately beamed back, causing wonyoung to agree in a charming manner. she was so gorgeous.

as the conversation continued out and others began talking as well, y/n constantly found herself looking at how hoon stayed attentive on his girlfriend. he was still that same caring boy, just not to her anymore.

“stop staring, they might catch on.” a small whisper lingered in her ear, evidently being jay’s who only chuckled afterward.

she sent a light smack to his arm. “shut up, i’m not staring that much.”

“you’re staring enough,” he joked back, letting his fingers softly nudge her cheeks.

the girl rolled her eyes as jay continued to brightly smile alongside her. “there’s too many couples here,” she mumbled to him, letting her attention stay on each couple coiled up against each other.

“i agree, wanna get out of here?”

she whipped her head in an instant. “yes please!” she harshly whispered back, causing a satisfied grin to be worn on him. “i just have to go to the restroom first.”

jay dramatically sighed — “it’s always the restroom first.”

“shut up!” y/n yelled back, giving a ruthless hit to the arm.

she swore though, that when she got up from her seat, she saw hoon flicker his gaze to her and jay. it was most likely what she wasn’t thinking, but she still caught onto it.

“actually, we’re gonna go too, wonyoung has class soon and i wanna make sure she gets there on time.” sunghoon suddenly spurted out, allowing the two to stand up as well.

the group nodded as the couple took their departure, while niki and sunoo left to their classes, leaving y/n and her three closest friends to run off to the restroom together.

as they left, jay couldn’t help but watch her disappear in his sight. something about her just eased him.

his gaze softened and he found himself smiling without even realizing it. was it happening to him too?

his heart was beating and his breathing was getting heavy at the mere thought of his friend, y/n.

“you really like her, don’t you?” jungwon immediately chimed in with a wiggle in his brows.

jay jokingly scoffed as he laughed. “i don’t like her,” he murmured. “she’s just a friend.”

“yeah a really GOOD friend,” jake added in as well, patting his friend’s back while chuckling.

as jay was about to give another remark, heeseung intruded in — “who are we talking about?”

“y/n and jay.”

“oh that he likes her?” he teased, catching on right away.

“i don’t like her,” the boy grumbled. “we’ve just gotten closer, that’s it.”

“jay.. just admit it,” one of the boys uttered.

“she’s a friend i’ve been comforting since she’s still trying to get over sunghoon, our other friend.”

jake guffawed out a laugh as he murmured, “dude, you’re so bad at lying. she’s starting to get over him because of you anyway.”

jay’s head shot up. “really?” his heart was rapidly racing now, was he really the reason why she was beginning to move on and no longer hurt?

his lips curled into a small grin as he dumbly smiled to himself.

“you definitely like her,” the oldest of them all teased.

jay shot a glare towards him before sighing in defeat. “i don’t like her but .. she’s nice to be around.” a pink tint began to hit his cheeks as he thought about y/n again.

the three boys snickered to themselves as they patted him on the back. “congrats bro, you’re in love,” jake mumbled.

while the four continued to converse, dae and the girls came back soon afterward.

“you still wanna leave?” jay asked, eyes coming into a sparkling haze.

y/n gulped. he was so handsome, and she could just stare at him all day. “yeah,” she cleared her throat. “let’s go, i have class soon.”

as she gathered her things, she found jungwon raising his brows towards jay, only to earn a downturned smile from him.

“let’s leave these people alone,” he grumbled before pulling her away.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

as the two walked around campus, wasting time, their hands constantly bumped against each others. the lingering jay had just to tangle his fingers with hers was crowding his thoughts. he just wanted to know what it was like, to experience it with her at least once.

“i like her..,” he quietly confirmed to himself. “i do…,”

“what was that, jay?” y/n looked up at him with a half smile.

“ah.. nothing. so you’re going with them on the weekend?”

“i kind of don’t want to.., should i just stay home?” she mumbled.

jay chuckled before wrapping his arm around her shoulder. “you should go, it’ll be fun!”

the change from jay and sunghoon was again, too easy to catch on, but y/n ignored it this time.

“wanna go with me??” she suddenly asked with pleading eyes.

the male’s heart stopped for a second. “you want me to go with you..?” he slowly repeated.

“mhm, go with me! so i won’t be alone.. please, jay!”

he softly chuckled as the two stopped in their tracks. “why don’t you ask niki?”

“jay.. come on, we’re closer, it’ll be more fun!”

his heart thumped, and he harshly gulped down every nerve in his body. “y/n..,”

“jay…,” she scowled back with a teasing smile. “come on!”

“you’re just gonna keep asking, aren’t you?”

“yeah so you should just say yes!”

the boy sighed to himself before finally giving in. “fine.. i’ll go.”

y/n jumped up and down in glee, hitting his arms as she yelled, “yay! i won’t be a 7th wheeler!”

jay watched her make little hops, grinning ear to ear as his pupils dilated from looking at her.

he was completely falling for her and he was okay with it. he knew she most likely still liked sunghoon though, but just for the time being, he was enjoying his personal moments with her.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

the weekend came and y/n found herself dolling up for the day sooner than she thought.

“just a day with jay.. usual stuff,” she attempted to convince herself.

as she finally checked her phone, she found text notifications from the boy.

mr. jjongtsby 🐈‍⬛:

I’m almost there, y/n

Are you reading this? I know you don’t have notifications on

I’m pulling up

y/n <33:

oh shit sorry! i’m coming out now :)

the girl rushed out of the door, giving quick goodbyes to her family members before meeting with jay.

“sorry,” she huffed. “i didn’t see your notifications until now.”

he chuckled while backing the car out. “no worries. i thought you almost forgot about our day for a second there.”

her body tensed up at his words. “our day..?”

“yeah, our day with the others.” jay mumbled, hollering out a laugh to cancel out the nervous bubble in his stomach. “ready to go through couple stuff?”

butterflies erupted in her stomach this time as she tried to play it off. “yeah.. let’s go!”

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

hours had passed since jay picked her up, and they had been completely surrounded by each others presence.

the couples were together of course, always walking side by side with arms linked together — leaving jay and y/n to walk along just as friends. her friends would occasionally try to add her into the conversations, but she knew she wasn’t fit for them, especially if they were couple-related things.

“oh isn’t this cute jakey??” she’d hear her friend sickly say, letting her become disgusted from behind.

“oh it is, love! you want it? i’ll get it for you,” jake would murmur back with a smiley face.

maybe she was just a hater, but she couldn’t stand it. then she’d hear her other friend, dae go — “wonie, let’s take a picture with this!”

and that’d only allow jungwon to squish his favorite boy’s cheeks while placing a soft kiss — “okay babe, get ready for the camera,” he’d cheekily respond.

and if that wasn’t enough, she’d already find min-su simply gathered in heeseung’s arms. the boy couldn’t stop clinging himself around her as he mumbled sweet nothings to her.

it was an appalling mess, and y/n was tired of it.

“you really hate seeing them be happy?” jay chimed, teeth fully on display to show his wide grin.

she softly nudged him as she shook her head. “i don’t hate it, but it’s just a little gross…,” the girl replied.

“you signed yourself up for this, you know?”

“jay..,” y/n scowled, sending him a faint glare.

he only smiled at that before backing off. “fine fine, but you know i’m right.”

she playfully rolled her eyes, pushing his shoulder back as she walked a little slower than her friends.

“alright come on grumpy pants, let’s catch up with them.” he mumbled, dragging her away with a slight grip to the wrist.

the two caught up with everyone else who stopped at a bracelet stand.

“baby, let’s get this one.” min-su uttered to her boyfriend who was already reaching for the same purple band as her. “i already knew what color,” he whispered against her, causing a flush color to form on her cheeks.

jake turned to ji-woo as well, letting his eyes sparkle to display his puppy look before mumbling, “what about this one, love? it’s our color.” his hands held a similar pattern to the other bracelet but in green, causing his girl to excitedly squeal — “it’s so us, jake!”

while the other two couples situated themselves, dae and jungwon were already exchanging each others similarly colored bracelets — which were navy blue of course.

“wonie, this color matches us right? i wanted purple but min-su and hee already got it..,” he softly pouted.

won only grinned, making dents in his cheeks for his dimples as he replied, “of course babe. anything matches you because you’re perfect.”

y/n heard her friend giggle like crazy, and all she could do was send a stank eye that wasn’t caught on by anyone else but jay, earning a quiet chuckle from him.

perhaps if the girl was in a relationship like her friends, she’d get it, but she wasn’t. she was the last single friend left.

so as she watched her friends create core memories with their partners from behind, she scanned through each colored bracelet as well — eyes searching for a color she may find fond.

however, the only color that she could see herself wearing was the black one. it was simple, but it had its unique features sticking out to her in the best way possible.

y/n picked it up, contemplating whether or not she should get it. “no one to match with.. but it’s pretty, so i guess.” she reasoned, going to the owner to pay afterward.

it was set in her mind that no one could possibly care to match with her, but jay was willing to. the girl didn’t catch onto the fact that he was secretly observing her.

he was just being discreet, watching to see which colored bracelet she’d choose so he didn’t get the wrong one.

as soon as she picked up the black one, his hands snatched the other free bracelet, causing him to catch a glimpse of the other owner who only beamed a confused look in why he had to seize it like that.

he apologetically smiled before approaching where his new found crush was at.

“cash or card?” the owner asked.

as y/n was about to speak, jay quickly intruded in. “card, i’ll pay.” he beamed with a dazzling smile towards her.

“what?? you’re gonna pay? you don’t have to-“

“too late, it’s yours now, wear it.” jay assured back, flashing another grin before handing her the bracelet.

y/n’s heart fluttered at his kind gesture. he was just being a friend but even then, it was still doing something to her.

“thanks jay.. that was really sweet.”

the male chuckled as he wrapped his own bracelet around his wrist. “don’t mention it, you deserve to be treated this way,” he mumbled with a nervous laugh.

“i do..,” she said under her breath.

it was changing, everything was changing. the clear picture was starting to change from sunghoon and she wasn’t hating it.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

about an hour had passed and the night was soon ending for the group.

“do we have to go already?” ji-woo pouted.

“yes, love, we’re exhuasted.” jake replied, chuckling as he wrapped his arms behind her.

dae sighed on the side. “well we can always stay out just for a little longer..,”

“you know you’re tired, baby, let’s get some rest hm?” won squeezed his boyfriend’s hands, resting on his shoulder as his eyes were glued shut.

heeseung and min-su didn’t bother to chime in. the two were simply already shutting down from all the walking and constant stops.

“i’m tired too!” y/n added on. “what about you jay?”

“i’m pretty beat, but i should take you home soon.”

“now?”

“mhm, let’s go.” jay quickly confirmed, quietly acknowledging her social battery running out.

the two left with little waves of goodbyes to their friends before they reached his car.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

the car ride was quiet through it all. normally, jay loved to go through a highlighted series of what happened best today, but y/n was quiet — indicating that she’d honestly rather stay silent for the time being.

the girl was an introvert, and he was understanding of that, so he only let slow music softly boom in the car as he drove.

it was a change from his old relationships but he didn’t mind it. he knew she was the kind of girl who just wanted peace and quiet at times, and this was it.

when they finally arrived to her place, jay lowered the music and was about to turn to y/n, only to find her plopping her head against his shoulder.

“y/n..?” he tried to call in a low voice. “are you asleep?”

the male waited for a response but got none back whatsoever, allowing him to conclude that she, indeed, was knocked out.

quiet snores left her mouth as she muzzled her head further onto his shoulder. she was comfortably situated, and he loved that she could always just confide into him for that kind of thing.

“cute,” he murmured to himself, beaming a soft grin that displayed his thumping heart for her.

jay parked the car, allowing her to sleep for a few minutes before she woke up out of fear and confusion.

“we’re already here?” y/n grumbled, eyes peeking around the windshield with a groggy expression.

she heard him give a quiet laugh that immediately erupted a mount of butterflies in her stomah as he replied, “yeah but i wanted you to sleep a little, you were really tired.”

“thanks,” she sighed. “today was really fun with you.”

“back at you, get home safe okay?”

“you too,” the girl bunked her wrist against his, causing her to look down at the jingle her bracelet made with his accessory.

then she found it. the matching black bracelet he bought. her heart dropped to her stomach but in a good way.

she had basically confirmed that he was thinking of her in the way she was second guessing.

“your bracelet..?” she uttered out of instinct.

jay tensed up. the instant thought of how awkward it’d be if she didn’t feel the same quickly stole his attention. he was scared and lost, which only caused him to harshly pull his wrist away from her electrifying touch.

“yeah, i like the color,” he bluntly replied with a clear throat.

she smiled, blood rushing to her cheeks as she said, “hey it’s just like-“

“don’t you have to go home?” he harshly cut her off. regret immediately took form on his face once he realized how rude he sounded.

he hated that he was sounding like this because it wasn’t him. he was gentle and reassuring, not cold hearted.

y/n didn’t know how to react though. one minute he’s sweet, and the next he’s cruelly blunt. ‘but maybe it was just from exhaustion,’ she thought to herself before nodding, trying to seem unfazed as she only reached out for the door.

jay wanted to stop and apologize, but he also felt like a creep with getting a matching bracelet without her consent. it wasn’t creepy-like but he was just overthinking it.

as the girl waved goodbye with an attempted smile to ensure everything was okay, jay only pressed his lips into a firm line out of humiliation. he’d like to leave the scene and get rid of the embarrassing moment, but he had to make sure she got in safely.

so when she did, he instantly drove away with a head shake.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

a few weeks were now hitting the mark of when they’d gone out with the couples, and y/n wasn’t sure if it was just her, but she felt a wavering distance between her and jay.

it was panicking her. she already lost sunghoon and she now might be losing jay.

to be quite honest though, her mind was already off of hoon. she didn’t notice him as much anymore, and it was clear that her mind was beginning to render him out.

it was jay that kept her up at night now, from the late night ‘what if’s’ to the stupid sleeping scenarios. it was him, and no longer sunghoon.

it was him who was always there for her, and she realized it once he kept a distance.

she hated it. normally, she’d be the one who’d avoid but she missed talking to him. she missed how he’d light up her day just by simply being near her. she missed him.

whenever the group would sit at a table, jay never chose to sit next to her anymore. he’d either force himself next to niki or he’d just sit next to one of the couples.

‘did i do something wrong?’ she’d constantly think.

but it wasn’t her fault, not at all. jay was just too embarrassed to face her after the bracelet incident. it wasn’t that big of a deal, but he hated how he acted. so until he could normally talk to her again, he was avoiding every interaction possible.

“hey,” dae called to y/n. “are you leaving to class soon?”

“yeah, i have a few minutes left. why? you want me gone?” she joked back with a brow raise.

the boy rolled his eyes as little giggles left the others mouths. “well no, i was just asking!”

y/n laughed as well before checking her phone. “yeah just like two more minutes and then i’ll start walking.”

“you’re done at 3, right?” sunoo asked.

“yep, i’ll walk back to you guys around that time.” she checked her phone again and grumbled out a sigh. “i guess it’s time to go..,”

the girl stood up from the table and sadly waved her goodbyes.

“go with her dude,” heeseung mumbled to jay.

the younger shot his head up. “what??”

“you always walk her, why aren’t you walking her?” jake chimed in with a harsh whisper.

“it’s just a little awkward after.. you know..,”

“that doesn’t give you a reason to not make sure she’s safe though. you know you’ll still walk her,” sunoo scowled.

the boy defeatedly sighed, knowing that his friend was right before tossing his bag over his shoulder and catching up to y/n.

as she walked, she felt her bag be taken off of her shoulders, causing her to look up at the person.

“oh you’re walking me again?”

“mhm,” he only responded.

y/n pressed her lips into a thin line that highlighted the awkward tension. she didn’t know what to say since he was unresponsive, but she couldn’t have it this way.

“jay?”

“hm?”

the girl softly gripped his wrist to stop him from walking, pulling him to the side where no other students could see them.

“why can’t you look me in the eyes?” her brows were slightly furrowed now and she crossed her arms.

“what? what are you talking about?” jay attempted to deny. “i can look you in the eyes.”

what a liar.

a puff of air left her mouth as she slightly ridiculed him. he was saying that, but he wasn’t even meeting her gaze.

y/n rolled her eyes before closing the gap between them. her hands firmly held his jaw, squishing his cheeks and forcing him to lock eyes. her head tilted as she tried to figure him out. she normally wasn’t this confident in getting a man to look at her, but for jay, she had to know.

on the other hand, the male was flustered. he felt his heart doing somersaults with how abrupt she suddenly was in doing something like this. he knew she wasn’t the ‘go for it’ type of girl, so for her to have confidence like this was melting him on the spot.

“look me in the eyes, jongseong.” she murmured, causing a light laugh to burst out of him.

y/n reflected the smile back before huffing out a sigh again. “i’m serious, look me in the eyes. are you okay? what’s wrong? are you feeling sick or something?” her hands that held his cheeks immediately started feeling his forehead for a possible heat temperature.

it wasn’t doing well for jay though that his favorite girl was putting her hands around his face. his breathing was getting heavier and his sight was blurring with her soft touches.

he closed his eyes, calming himself down before holding her wrist to stop at his cheeks.

the girl cocked her head to the side again, hearing him softly sigh as he murmured, “just keep it there, it’s making me feel better” — leaving a subtle kiss at the palm of her hands.

this time, it was her heart beating like crazy now. her hands were slightly shaking, but his hold was reassuring in every way.

“so you are sick..?” she uttered, causing a gentle laugh to leave his throat.

“something like that..,”

“jay-“

“i’m sorry for avoiding you. i’m sorry, it wasn’t right of me but i was just feeling embarrassed.” he quickly communicated.

y/n’s eyes softened at his apology. “what are you sorry for? you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“it was just embarrassing that i got a matching bracelet with you without even asking,” he clarified, scratching his head with an awkward laugh.

her heart melted at his sweet manner. even when he was trying to avoid her, he couldn’t.

“you know you could’ve just asked, jongseong,” she teased. “i would’ve said yes to matching with you.”

jay beamed an apologetic smile before turning his gaze down to their feet. “i thought you wouldn’t have wanted to.. especially since…,”

“since?”

“since you still like sunghoon..,” his heart blew out a sigh at the possibility of her still liking their friend.

his attention continued to stay lowered at their feet, and y/n only watched him try to hide his soft pout away, fluttering her stomach with butterflies once more.

“jongseong..,” she called, knees bending down so she could find his gaze from below.

the male chuckled at her act before replying, “stop using my government name.”

“why not.. jongseong?” she teased back.

“what were you gonna say?” jay murmured, ignoring her teasings but secretly liking it.

y/n giggled, clearing her throat as she responded, “do you think i still like sunghoon?”

his heart dropped to his stomach again. he hated this queasy feeling but he couldn’t stop her if it was how she felt. “don’t you..?” he murmured back to her.

the girl saw how he subtly pushed himself away from her, causing her to sigh and hold his cheeks.

“i like you, jay.”

“w..what? you what?” he flustered.

y/n grinned ear to ear. “i said i like you.. jongseong.”

she felt his cheeks heat up with a tint of red, allowing him to cheekily smile in embarrassment.

“one more time,” he murmured.

she exasperated a sigh before pulling his face towards her. immediately, a soft kiss was planted onto each others lips. it was only a peck though, the girl wasn’t confident enough yet.

jay’s lips coiled into a smile as she said, “does that show it better?”

“i think we gotta try again.”

the boy crashed his lips against hers, holding her gently with one hand at the jaw and the other at the waist. his heart was melting with every second he stayed glued to her.

y/n found her hands to be in his hair, dangling itself into his silk strands that caused soft shivers down his spine.

jay smiled into the kiss, lips curling from the sweet sensations he was receiving from his girl, allowing her to smile into it as well.

once she felt out of breath, she pulled away, only to be littered with soft pecks on her lips.

“you’re gonna be late for class, you know?” he murmured against her skin.

the girl giggled before sweetly nudging his head away. “that’s okay, we can ditch again.” she uttered in reminisce.

“are we gonna do something better than study?”

“yeah, like a date?” she impulsively spoke.

jay’s ears perked up with a hue of red colored at the tips. “you’re confident right now.. i like this side of you.”

“you make me confident,” y/n replied, blood rushing to her cheeks even more.

and it was then that it hit her. she always knew why sunghoon matched wonyoung — she brought the best out of him, and now the girl had found that. she had found her match with jay.

“will you still be confident during the date?” he challenged with his infamous smirk.

“guess you’ll just have to take me out and we’ll see.”

“let’s go then.. darling.”

oh?

her heart instantly fluttered at the new name call. “darling?” she whispered, breaths getting heavy.

“cat got your tongue now?” jay murmured as he kissed her cheeks.

“shut up.. let’s go, jongseong.” she rolled her eyes, causing a deep chuckle to be heard from him.

usually, she’d call her crush ‘loser’ and even though she wasn’t in love with sunghoon anymore, it still felt unusual for her to call jay something that’d been reserved for him.

but it didn’t matter anymore. hoon was no longer on her mind.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

about a month or two had gone by and ever since then, jay and y/n were going strong together.

he still walked her to class and ensured her safety came first like he usually did, but this time, he voluntarily left to the car first so he could minimize her walking.

y/n was left alone, sitting on the cemented seat as she texted her friends.

“this seat taken?” a husk and familiar voice asked from behind.

almost instantly, her heart softly sank. it was sunghoon.

she hadn’t talked to him in months, better yet, seen him in some months. ever since she got with jay, he was just never around anymore.

“hoon?” she murmured. that nickname made both of their hearts thump.

it wasn’t in a way of loving each other, but more so of missing each other. they used to be close friends after all.

sunghoon softly grinned as she shook her head ‘no’ to his question, allowing him to sit beside her.

it was awkward. they used to be friends and now, they can’t even talk to each other.

the two were introverts, but they couldn’t find it in themselves to be extroverts with each other again.

“so you and jay?” hoon suddenly uttered.

“yeah.. we just got close after you and wonyoung started dating.”

“yeah i noticed..,”

his mumble was almost incoherent to her, but she still turned to look at him. “what?”

“nothing..,” he awkwardly chuckled. “i’m happy for you though y/n. he’s a great guy.”

“yeah he is.. but thanks —” she paused for a second, “— loser.”

sunghoon softly laughed at the familiar name call. he hadn’t heard that from her in months and it was comforting in some kind of way.

“i’m happy for you too, sunghoon. let’s try and make our relationships last,” y/n joked, causing the two to cackle out quiet laughs.

as he was about to say more, jay suddenly pulled up to the curb, hinting that it was time for her to go.

she waved hoon goodbye as she got into the car and drove off.

the male kept his gaze down once they were out of his sight. that was the most they’ve talked in months, and it’d honestly probably be the last.

he sighed as he wore a small smile. she left too soon for him to even mention how much he missed her, how much he missed everything — their jokes, their talks, their teasings.

they used to always talk about everything and be each others comfort but things were different now.

he was happy in his relationship with wonyoung, but he just missed y/n as a friend.

sunghoon let out another soft sigh while thinking back to the heartwarming memories. “miss you.. loser.” he mumbled to himself, giving a faint grin at his thoughts.

the male stayed stuck on how they used to be until a notification shifted his attention. it was a text from wonyoung, telling where she’d be and how they should meet for another study date.

he smiled before immediately texting back and leaving the scene.

and there it was.

sunghoon and y/n went their separate ways, falling in love with someone else who wasn’t their mirrored self, someone who brought the best in them.

★・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・★

taglist: @firstclassjaylee @dimplewonie @baevsxii <3

[tiddygame]

i’ve stared at this for so long that i now hate it and think ive lost all concept of how to write so take this and get it out of my google docs

the introduction is rough and the medical depictions (and accuracy/realism) could use some (a lot of) work but whatever! here it is, my vague yet still oddly specific idea of how the face reveal would go in @myriadblvck ’s streamer au:

tw: description of a panic attack? i think?

[this takes place post first irl meet but before they’re officially together]

imagine ghost has a glasgow smile but on one side they carved a little too deep and left some nerve damage. time and surgery helped, after which he could eat unimpeded and talk without a lisp, but there's still some facial nerve damage and/or skin contractures from scarring, specifically around the corner of his mouth.

now, everytime he smiles, be it shit eating grin or a full genuine joy filled smile that not even grumpy mcgrumperson could hold off, it always looks wrong because one corner doesn't raise fully like the other.

everything else is fine, there isn’t any facial paralysis, he just smiles… wrong. especially since only one eye properly squints when he smiles, giving him the look of someone who got stuck mid wink.

if he wants to look “normal” (or as normal as he could get it) he has to manually squint his other eye. still, it always felt weird; you don't realize how much those muscles affect the rest of your face until they're gone.

it's why he learned to always wear the mask.

when his expression is neutral, you don’t really notice it. if you can see his mouth when he talks however, it’s obvious that there’s something wrong. he wouldn’t say he’s necessarily ashamed of the scars and damage itself, but it’s the stares that are the worst. before he started hiding behind it, people would openly gawk or even glare at him as if he was some ne’er-do-well gang member that got what was coming to him.

he still remembers the cosmetic surgeon that had been talking to him about fixing the contractures— the whole appointment was a fucking nightmare. the cuts had healed nicely enough especially considering how bad it could have been; he was lucky to only need a little cosmetic help. the only reason he was there was so he could fucking eat food without struggling to open his mouth.

the doctor spent god knows how long breaking down everything wrong with his face like he was a fucking car mechanic lying about how dirty your filter is. the guy constantly mentioned that while he was under, they could also fix his jawline, do a rhinoplasty, trying to break him down to agree to more work.

he was already fuming my the time the doc brought up how kids would react. asking ghost if he wanted to scare children since “you cant expect the little youngins that are still learning about the world to not get scared by something scary,” and that “even some adults would cringe at the scarring.”

what stuck out most was the condescending smile he had when he said it. as if he was pointing out the obvious and ghost was being stupid and shortsighted by not agreeing.

he declined everything except what was medically necessary. the procedure went fine and after an aggravatingly long recovery period, he could eat solid foods again without issue. but the comments still stuck with him.

…okay, maybe he’s a little ashamed.

scaring kids with your face doesn’t feel good and being reminded of everything you’ve lost when you try to smile can really fuck you up in a way words fail to describe.

so yeah, he hates it. he’s gotten used to the mask, both skull clad balaclava and simple medical mask, being a permanent layer of armor. even now that he’s a bit more comfortable in his own skin it still feels wrong to pull it off.

when he gets close to soap, it still feels like a layer of vulnerability that he’ll never be prepared for.

the first time he let soap see his face, there hadn’t been any grandiose build up, no extravagant planning.

simon had arrived just a few hours earlier. he hated commercial flights with a burning passion but it was always worth it to see johnny.

with soaps twin out of town for the week, he had decided to take leave to spend time with his friend, a friend that he most certainly did NOT have a crush on (a disclaimer roach and gaz heard everytime they started snickering over ghost taking leave.)

johnny had cooked something nice and simple for dinner, saying that simon had spent too long with MREs and deserved real food (ghost only agreed if he was the one washing the dishes, soap had laughed and told him he's not so kind as to let him off the hook for chores).

when they ate, it was always in the living room with johnny taking care to always stay angled away from simon, never trying to catch a glimpse, regardless of how much he wanted to see what was under the mask. the obvious gesture of kindness and respect for his boundaries always left him feeling all weird and fuzzy inside. but, then again, johnny seemed pretty good at triggering that feeling in general.

their finished plates were on the coffee table and johnny was watching whatever dumb movie he had put on. he was pretty sure the man spent more time talking over it and making fun of everything than he did actually watching it (it was simon’s favorite way to watch a movie.)

ghost however, was watching soap. thinking.

in the end, it was an impulsive decision made after a strong three seconds of consideration.

“you uhm— you can look by the way,” ghost stared at the can of soda in his hands, immediately regretting the words.

“what?” soap didn’t fully turn, just shifted slightly to hear him better. a simple gesture to show he was listening without turning to face him. it normally made simon happy to see that johnny was more than willing to accommodate for his boundaries. now though it made him feel stupid for robbing johnny of a normal face to face conversation, a normal human interaction, just over his idiotic insecurities.

“my face, you—,” he felt his heart block his airway and tried clearing his throat before continuing, “you can look if you want,” christ he wanted the ground to swallow him whole. why was he getting so fucked up over this?

“are you sure?” he hadn’t turned yet, but ghost could see his pensive expression from here. this should be nothing. realistically, he knew johnny seeing his scars wouldn’t suddenly make him hate him… right?

“yes.”

but it was more than the fear of hatred, wasn’t it? he was scared that johnny would see him. see more than just the scars, see all of the ugly idiosyncrasies and insecurities laid bare. afraid that johnny would see the truth of how unlovable he was.

jesus he was getting so fucking worked up and dramatic over nothing.

ghost didn’t look up. he made an effort to not focus on his peripheral vision. he heard soap turn, heard the intake of breath. the silence was loud only for a second. then, deafening white noise surrounded him, inescapable, suffocating.

fuck.

he didn’t regret giving permission but god did he regret everything else; the stupid scars, the stupid nerve damage, the stupid way he had managed to fall for someone so fucking good like johnny while he was unequivocally unworthy of his love.

stop being so fucking dramatic. you are not together, never have been and never will be. reality was blatant in front of him but it didn’t stop his heart from foolishly hoping.

he heard soap stand and walk closer. saw from where he was still staring a hole in the can his feet step in front of his. saw johnny’s hands raise. he took a deep breath in, closed his eyes, and with a great deal of effort didn’t flinch when soaps fingers grazed his cheek.

both of his hands came up to cup his face, holding him and ever so slightly tilting his face up, giving him the chance to pull away. he didn’t. he may be a coward but he wasn’t backing down.

ghost eventually opened his eyes to see soap staring at him with wide eyes. he looked away, staring off to some point on the right. he hated not knowing what soap was thinking.

they stayed there for a while before soap broke the silence, muttering, “i fuckin knew you had freckles.”

it was stupid but it shocked a laugh out of ghost. he meant to drop his head, embarrassed that something so dumb made him laugh, but accidentally just pushed himself further into soaps hands making him blush.

he looked up and saw soap staring even harder than before. the chuckle died in his chest.

“do that again.”

ghost just gave him a confused look.

“smile.”

such a simple request, a one word sentence, but it set his face ablaze. his breath caught in his throat, somewhere around where his heart was still trying to choke him.

…he hadn’t thought it was that bad but soaps reaction indicated otherwise. fuck. was his it that awful? he wanted the ground to swallow him whole. this was stupid. he was stupid.

“simon,” of course, one word from johnny and it felt like he could breathe again.

“please?”

fucking goddamn soap and his stupid fucking puppy dog eyes and the way he has ghost wrapped around his fucking finger without even realizing.

ghost smiled. there was no real mirth, more a grimace than anything else. he just wanted to get this over with.

soap was still staring at him, his thumbs tracing his lips, following scars, drawing imaginary lines between freckles… if he wasn't so terrified it might have felt nice.

“Christ,” ghosts heart cracked more, “you weren't lying when you said you were beautiful.”

ghost huffed a laugh and went back to staring off to the right, the fake smile dropping. of course soap would try to lighten the mood with a joke.

his panic fled as quickly as it had consumed him, now just left sitting in soap's living room, face still cradled in caring hands, resigned to his mistakes.

he felt so tired and johnny's hands felt so inviting.

“i wasn't joking,” soap looked…upset? angry? wait— fuck, what’d he do?

ghost stared back at soap, confused and tired. soaps nails felt the grooves of the scar, catching where the skin was raised and lowered.

“you don't have to lie, soap. im a grown man. I'm not fragile. you don't need to coddle me,” ghost said it like it was a joke, hoping soap would laugh along and that this would all just blow over. that tomorrow morning they could forget this ever happened.

“are you calling me a liar?” soap’s brow furrowed. great. instead, he had managed to make everything worse and piss off soap as well.

ghost took in a deep breath, giving himself another shot at calming things down, “no, I'm not. I think you're lying, but you're not a liar,” he stood and stepped to the side, grabbing their dirty plates and walking them to the kitchen sink, “you just don't want to upset me, it's fine. I get it. you're a nice person but you don't have to lie to spare my feelings.”

“I am not fucking lying!” as per usual, all ghost had managed to do was make things worse. there’s a reason he had decided to stick to the battlefield and give up on domesticity.

“well alright then. agree to disagree,” he turned the kitchen tap and started rinsing the dishes, waiting for the water to heat up. just walk away. end it there. let us forget about this stupid blunder and move on. please just leave it. please, please, please—

“no.”

the force behind it damn near made ghost drop the plate he was holding. he managed to set it in the sink carefully and turned to face soap, who was now in the kitchen as well.

“i— I'm not just gonna fucking— simon,” soap took in a deeper breath and went to continue but ghost was faster.

“johnny,” he interrupted, walking forward with his hands up in a gesture of surrender, approaching slowly.

one last chance to not fuck everything up.

“the fact is they're called deformities for a reason. they're not cute. they're not pretty. they're your body’s way of healing what it can and protecting what it can't. it's not meant to look nice, it's just—”

“bullshit they’re not pretty! says fucking who?” the genuine distress in soap’s voice and force behind his words caught him off guard. “simon—”

he huffed and ran his fingers through his hair roughly, pulling slightly at the strands. christ, ghost needs to shut the fuck up. every single time he speaks he just upsets soap more and more.

he needs to retake his hostage negotiations courses. clearly he has forgotten everything about how to diffuse a situation.

johnny takes another second to breathe and collect his thoughts before he speaks.

“simon. I know that— that ‘this’ isn't something that's going to fix itself overnight and I don't expect it to. but, ‘the fact is,’ I think you're pretty.”

ghost opens his mouth to disagree but johnny doesn’t let him.

“no no,” johnny put his hand over simon’s mouth, shocking him into silence. he blinks twice, stupefied.

“i think— no. I know you're pretty. cute even. beautiful is a given but obviously worth mentioning.”

his hand moved to cup simon’s cheek. ghost grabbed his wrist but didn’t stop him, wether it was a warning or encouragement he himself didn’t know.

johnny continued, unperturbed, “you disagreeing doesn't change that, right?”

there was a pause and simon realized he wanted an answer.

“johnny-”

“ah ah!” his hand moved back to cover his mouth, grabbing his face and shaking his head back and forth, over accentuating his words, “you disagreeing doesn't change that, right? yes or no.”

he stopped shaking him and moved his hand back to simon’s cheek. simon sighed, defeated, “yes. you are right.”

johnny looked smug, “good. and what do you say when i give you a compliment you don’t agree with?”

simon sputtered, “wha— i don't fucking know—”

“nothing! you don’t say anything!” soap looked way too proud of himself and he continued, “or thank you if you feel so inclined.”

“that was a trick question,” simon replied eventually.

johnny thumbed over his scars once more, again tracing them, “sure it was. now go take a shower.”

he patted his cheek twice and walked to the hallway.

“wait,” johnny probably shook the few remaining brain cells out of his head. “this whole conversation ends with you telling me that I stink?”

“yes. rancid,” johnny opened the door to the linen closet. simon was still in the kitchen. the tap was still running.

“no dipshit, do you not remember telling me that commercial planes makes you feel gross?” johnny threw a towel at him, which he caught just in time for johnny to hit him with a bath rag.

ghost had mentioned that… ages ago, he thinks. on facetime with each other, discussing the merits of bathrooms on public transport. he had said that enclosed, crowded spaces like commercial planes or buses made him feel, well, gross. how—or why—did he remember that?

“but… I’m supposed to wash the dishes?” a weak argument against the stubbornness he was faced with but simon had officially lost track of his mind and this conversation.

johnny shot him a weird look as he walked back towards the kitchen sink. simon still hadn’t moved.

“did you think i was being serious earlier?”

“yes???” he felt like he had been given a lobotomy.

johnny decided to take pity on him and explained in a soft voice that felt out of place, “i was being sarcastic. i’m not going to make you wash the dishes, simon.”

“but that was the agreement: you cook and i wash the dishes.”

johnny laughed as if he remembered something funny, “yeah, i lied.”

simon still stood there, trying to figure out if he had a stroke. johnny had been angry, completely pissed at him, but now was letting him off the hook and calling him pretty? what the fuck is happening?

johnny turned him and pushed him towards the hallway. simon could have resisted but his resolve always seems to crumble around johnny mactavish.

“now go shower, you beautiful bastard,” soap grabbed one of the plates out of the sink and started washing it with water that had probably heated ages ago.

ghost walked towards the bathroom, feeling like he was on autopilot, limbs disconnected from his brain. his cheek still felt… odd? weird? tingly?

it felt something from where johnny had grabbed it. ghost thinks… he thinks he likes the feeling, whatever it is.

he needs to sleep.

[afantasyoffiction]

buddie fic recs!

ok so someone in the buddie safe zone asked for fic recs and i. ahem. i may have gotten carried away while procrastinating on my wip ok

so here's my Official List of Buddie and 9-1-1 fic recs which i will update with fics that make me go insane! it saves me going through my ao3 history ever again i hope

short n sweet buddie fics

anything by cavevulpis on ao3, but especially Hotbox Heroes its SO FUNNY. actually especially It's me or the cat, because that one made me scream into my pillow

(anywhere but) underneath the mistletoe by lenaboskow - some festive teehee minific

the (diaz-buckley-han) mistletoe scheme by pinkpeach tea. yes thats two consecutive mistletoe fics what about it theyre both WONDERFUL

appetency by daisies_and_briars - i was expecting this to be like a fun chill fic and it was but it also completely like made me insane

post season 8 ansgty fix it fics

Stay with me (you're all I need) by accio_magic

and it feels like i'm coming home by dershoimvik, this one was so freaking beautiful and i cannot believe mugs make me cry now

strawberry lemonade by itsjuststar - road trip!

it wakes me up inside just to feel your pain by hopelesslittlekilljoy - haven't finished yet but whoo boy. wow

beating the horse by doitgently. i mean with all of these read the tags but this one especially. don't read if ur already anxious it is entirely buck being mentally and physically unwell about eddie! very good fic

at least its not a tsunami by Taboo_writer - not technically post s8 i don't thinkk? but very good very angsty and now i hear that line and want to cry. more about buddie ndes and their relationship over time

i'll run to you (there's no place i wouldn't go) by kabnd. listen. listen. if tim minear copied this exactly??? giving credit obvi? i would DIE its ALL I NEED. like shenanigans? check. wholesome? check. angsty? check. squealing ceaselessly into my pillow bc theyre so DUMB and STUPID and IN LOVE. um. yeah. check (buck looking at his clipboard check) check

i squealed into my pillow

Buck Day Afternoon by Bookwork0303. this sounds like a crackfic and it kinda is but its actually. inordinately funny and way too angsty and way way way too good for what it actually is, which is a fic about buck trauma dumping to the men who are holding him hostage and everyone shipping buddie about it

nursing our wounds by withmeornotatall - a HILARIOUS outsider pov fic where a writer on Hotshots makes nurse 1 and nurse 2 canon like we all deserve

i'll run to you (there's no place i wouldn't go). yes ive said this already. but goddamm this deserves to be on this list twice jfc INCREDIBLE PLEASE READ IT EVERYONE AND GO COMMENT THIS AUTHOR DESERVES EVERYTHING

alternate universe

I didn't mean to say i do, but i do by schrijverr - haven't finished yet but its. very good. too good. i'm not ok abt it

um anyways anyone reading pls comment ur favs! also credit to the fandom in general because. its been how long? and we already have some incredible freaking stuff out here. like the quality of content in this fandom is insanely good, the amount of interaction is so wholesome and i'm generally so happy to be here

[sotiriabellou]

one of my goals for this year was to cut down my monster energy consumption bc its gotten to the point of becoming a rlly embarrassing addiction and there's no way that drinking 1-3 energy drinks per day for two years straight has done me any good.so i resolved to cut down my consumption to maybe 1 drink once or twice a week(as stupid as it is i cant rlly stop completely rn) and so far ive accomplished that!anyway when i was visiting my cousins during christmas we drove to a city close to their village and while we were strolling through the city square i noticed one cornerstore that had a fridge full of monster and!!more importantly had some of the flavours that ive seen online but have never tried bc they simply are not available in greece.ever since ive thought about visiting that city yes just for the drink.which is normal.one of my cousins lives there and ive been thinking i could visit her but im not sure where i would find the time and shes just gotten her first official post-uni job so im worried i might be a burden to her.

[dionysus-is-my-dude]

what's up, my dudes? It's been a while since I even just doomscrolled on here. I had the second part of my psych eval and got the results earlier this week. Finally OFFICIALLY diagnosed with ADHD, combined type, and reaffirmed my bipolar II, PTSD, anxiety, and depression as well. Some of my cognitive functions were noted as having gotten worse since the first time I was evaluated a few years ago. Not enjoying that, but figured that would happen. I'll have my physical eval in September, so now I have to once again play the waiting game. tw: talk about menstrual cycle

I just finished the worst period of my life. 7 days straight of such a heavy flow that I ended up in the hospital on an IV to replace all the fluids I was losing. Absolute insanity. It's undoubtedly my fault for not taking my new birth control pills correctly. They put me on a three-month set now, so I'll go three months on the pill with no period, then take a week off to have one period, to lessen how many I have. But, damn, if they're all gonna be like this, I may as well just have my stupid uterus removed.

On another note, my store is finally starting to put out Halloween stuff!! I'm so excited. So far, there hasn't been anything that I really want except this cute witch garden frog statue, but it's not worth $15 when it's broken. I'm moreso interested in the blankets when they all get here. I haven't felt a connection with any of the ones we have so far.

I'm cleaning my art room. I even took pictures and uploaded them onto Canva to circle things and make visible notes about what I want this room to look like and where to put things. I've so far only done my desk and a white storage cubby thing beside my desk, and I've gotten rid of all the dead plants and cheap, plastic pots. I have a bunch of embroidery and crochet stuff that I really wanna get rid of. Is anyone interested in buying that stuff? I've got a bag filled with a few small crochet hooks and other helpful items, tons of yarn, and lots of embroidery supplies like a storage container filled with floss and TWO books of needles. Please let me know with a message if anyone is interested in picking up these hobbies. I have pretty much everything you need to pick up either one.

That about wraps up what I've been up to since the last update. Someone recommended a book they wrote, so I'll be reading that and letting y'all know about it. Everyone, please drink plenty of water, please take your meds, and don't forget that Dionysus wants you to BE as cool as you LOOK during this hot weather.

[analogwriting]

You-… you almost cut your HAND OFF??? Tf do you work on 😭

AHAHAH I didn't almost cut it off!!! at least not the whole thing but I definitely almost took a decent chunk off a finger or two 💀💀 I HAVE seen people slice chunks/tips of their fingers off. and it's typically bc they're doing something stupid and it's completely preventable

at work we have a slicer. a bizerba

this is kinda what it looks like only ours is old as shit. but it's for cutting deli meat, cheese, and veggies. and when I was loading up the turkey it just decided to move itself and pulled me with it and I almost didn't move my hand in time

woulda had some ambrose sandos forreal. we also have a ghost in our store bc they like to move shit. this ain't the first time I've almost gotten my hand in this manner. IVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR ALMOST SEVEN YEARS THO AND IVE ONLY SLICED MY HANDS UP LIKE THREE TIMES!!!! so it's not too scary idk lmfao

and when I say sliced up it's usually like me cleaning it and not paying attention and getting knicked. nothing too crazy.

BREAD KNIVES ARE A WHOLE OTHER STORY. IT AINT A NEW OFFICIAL KNIFE IF I DONT ACCIDENTALLY CUT MYSELF SOMEHOW 💀💀 but they're never life threatening injuries, it's just cause I'm doing something dumb or not adhering to knife safety and being dumb SO THATS ON ME

[djuvlipen]

wait actually, same anon from earlier, i have another question please, hope this isnt a stupid one. how do you/what other opinions have you heard abt the incentives taken to educate roma kids? im particularly interested in this bc in romania both among us and the roma part of the issue w trafficking is that girls are uneducated and lack opportunities, and generally im all for education being done in small rural communities, and in the future id like to spend my time in communities trying to do anything at all to help w this mess. but. at the same time ive always felt theres something - i hate this word but oh well - problamatic about it? obviously roma kids deserve equal access to education, and i know specifically for roma girls this is often harder because at times they are expected to marry young - which happens w us too at times. but at the same time, there are many roma in romania who dont want to send their kids to school, even when the opportunity is presented and insentives are taken, and from what i get one of the reasons is that there are those who see it as an attempt at forced assimilation....is it systemic opression to use the state to get these kids to school? at times too i have gotten the sense that the education system is in a way trying to make the kids less roma, if that makes sense, and that i rly dont agree w or think its gonna help much

Hi anon! This is a really tough question

You identified the different issues at play here. On the one hand, it is true that education is very important as it leads to employment opportunities and as it lowers the rates of early child marriage, sex trafficking and prostitution, and sexism overall.

On the other hand, European countries (not just Romania) have all used their institutions (be it the healthcare system or the education system, for example) to persecute Roma, take Romani children and forcibly assimilate them into the white dominant culture by separating them from their families. That was the policy in my country in the 18th century and during WWII, for example. That's why many, many Roma distrust any State officials, including medical professionals and teachers. This relationship is even more complicated by the discrimination you can get at school for being Romani (bullying from classmates, discrimination from teachers, up to outright segregation in specific Romani classes).

And still today, many national or European-wide programs or organizations are still embedded in this rhetoric. I'd advise you to look up Angéla Koczé's book Gender, Ethnicity and Class (I have a link to it in my pinned post, it's available for free online), she's a Hungarian Romani academic who talked a lot about the colonial dimension of these programs. Here, "colonial" is defined as the exercise of a political and economic power by more powerful groups over weaker ones. You get a lot of pro-Romani orgs, like the Open Society Fundation, a very famous one that played a key role during the Decade of Roma Inclusion, that will back programs in support of Romani rights, but will do so in a paternalistic manner, using the rhetoric of "civilizing the Roma". These organizations are led by white people, with Roma rarely being in commands, and their Romani employees regularly experience racism from them. Grassroots Romani programs get sidelined, they often don't get invited to programs led by these big groups, which leads Koczé to qualify it as a silencing technique.

If many Roma don't want to send their kids to school, it's because the trust we put in the education system is very eroded, has been eroded by a history of persecution, and is still very flimsy nowadays. This, as well as misogyny, is then justified by "culture" ("we take our daughter out of school to get her married"), which is a good excuse to naturalize sexism, but also, to prevent us from being fully aware of the history of anti-Romani racism

Because it's not true that Roma don't want their kids to receive an education. I don't live in Romania but I work with an association that helps Romanian Romani immigrant children with school, their homework, etc. Romani parents are either enthusiastic, or are interested in the project but can't rely on it because they have other priorities. Once, a 6yo Romanian Romani girl I was helping didn't come because she had to help her parents earning money. This Romani family eventually dropped off the project because they were evicted from their home so they moved to another city to find a new place to live.

tl;dr, no I don't think it's systemic discrimination to use the State to get Romani kids to school. However the way it's being done right now is most often than not systemic discrimination, because Romani kids are often subjected to bullying at school, they are sometimes put in segregated classes, and lack of education is a reason that was/is still used to take Romani children away from their parents. It could be done differently, in a non oppressive way, but European countries all have a long history of anti-Romani racism that they are not addressing, and using the State to force Romani kids to school will not help build a relationship of trust between Roma and education professionals. Moreover, as long as European States don't fix their economic system, that has been marginalizing and impoverishing Roma for so long, no progress will be made, as poverty prevents children from receiving good quality education

Hope this helps!

[adhdwerewolfgf]

Tell us a story about a WoD character you've played? 🥺

OH MAN UHH i've honestly only ever really played one character! one of my partners (tho they werent my partner at the time) got very into WoD after playing bloodlines and wanted to a run a VTM chronicle, so they gathered me and a bunch of other friends to play. none of us players had any idea about lore, so it was completely new territory.

i, of course, as an avid werewolf fan that didn't really have much interest in vampires themselves, asked if i could play a werewolf instead. my storyteller explained to me why that wouldn't work, so i settled for Werewolf Lite™️ (a gangrel pc), and now i am utterly obsessed with my big scary wolf girl. her name is Veronika and she just like me fr fr. i have a bunch of art ive been meaning to post of her on my art blog but i havent gotten around to it just yet......

as for a story, i can't really think of anything super interesting off the top of my head? but i do have a story from the first chronicle we played.

my partner was running an official intro story set in Denver (Alien Hunger i think it was called?). we got to the point where we were fresh fledglings and the prince had summoned our little coterie to go see him. unfortunately due to a misunderstanding on my part as a player, i thought he was asking that we meet him not on neutral ground but at his own haven, and so in turn Veronika was utterly convinced that the prince was summoning us just so he could kill us easily. this lead to her taking every method possible of not going with the sheriff, to the point of slashing one of the cars tyres with her pocket knife so they couldnt drive us. the driver had a spare of course and eventually we did go see the prince, but god did Veronika put up a fight.

once i realised the misunderstanding i felt so bad lmao, like my storyteller told me that it was one of the most difficult things they had to deal with as a GM and it was all because i was stupid and did not listen properly (though we laugh about it now, and they added it helped them improve as a GM by learning to deal with problem players). moral of the story is listen to your GM!!!

there is........ also the time Veronika shredded a group of hunters during a fury frenzy out in the woods but we don't talk about that.

[earthbelowus]

thinking about esteria more.

i think the structure of the revolution is different from what ive been doing. i've been assuming it started definitively in 2124 and ended definitively in 2133. while the ceasefire still would happen in 2133, leading to a defacto esterian state, the 2124 "start" date feels a bit disengenuous.

after all, the unrest started in 2109. the 2108 elections went to the democrats, which signalled a political right-shift akin to what we see now with trump and whatnot. 2105-2109 president had been a particularly stale party for change presidency; where despite legislative action happening and such, things were kind of heating up sociopolitically. the gyrotasse population within american mars continued to increase at a rate slightly greater than the human population, leading a wave of conspiracy theories and xenophobia in the earth states (particularly in conservative former "red states"). especially as the US has gotten into the habit of having white-hot beef with nearly every powerful gyrotasse polity in Sol.

and the entire time theres also increased tension with the USSR and China. so the russophobia and sinophobia Also contributes to their win. so yeah theres a pretty strong dem trifecta formed. and as the opening months of 2109 went by, the entirely blue government would jump on the opportunity to enact all sorts of stupid shit. cold war red scare shit as well as culture war shit on earth, taking rights and having police brutality and censoring and all that. but it was on mars where they *really* pushed their shit.

they loosened government regulations on corporations, letting them burn martian fossil fuels despite. you know. earth still on overdrive trying to fix its own issues. that also drove the martian economy wild as corporations did the shitty fake inflation thing where they just made things expensive cuz they could.

they loosened regulations on the religious charters, leading to an uptick of social conservatism in these areas. long-held federal rights like gay marriage were now on the chopping block, with the most fundie charters hinting at turning the clock back even further.

but what sealed the deal was the landslide decision to create the "gyrotasse territory", carved from the westernmost counties of the urania territory (aka the area that used to be called "ztchdkast" in 2023 canon). the dems solution to the "gyrotasse issue" was to round up every single one on american mars and deport them to this gyrotasse territory. the climate there is cold and harsh, located in the inland urania campuses. the only gyrotasse that would have been spared were ones living in company towns, working for little to no wage. [wage slavery]

so as 2109 went on many cities across american mars would see cops barge into their communities and drag any gyrotasse out, shoving them into trucks or planes and sending them thousands of miles away to the GT. in many communities, especially in low income neighborhoods where the cities forced them to live, they were an integral part of the community, so when these deportations started happening, it was the straw that broke the camel's back. by the end of the year multiple protest organisations would have already sprung up fighting this.

and *thats* where most would put the start of the revolution. because as the 2110s went on, these groups would only grow and multiply, gradually taking control of cities and counties from the american government. the american news cycle would have called it a civil war even in the early 2110s.

now, 2124 is still important. up before then the groups would have been loosely allied, fighting for a common goal but generally disorganised on a pan-colonial level. but on april 8 2124, leaders of the prominent groups and some smaller ones got together in orangetree and took it to the next step, officially forming the first esterian government by unifying their groups under one banner. its when theyd start writing the esterian constitution, drafting the government, and all that stuff. in the following eight earthyears theyd capture more territory now that they were united. theyd immediately begin setting up the government in 2124, getting less rickety as time went on.

as the 2130s began, it was kinda looking like shit for the americans. theyd been pushed out of many strategic locations and entire states had been absorbed into esteria. in 2132, a party for change president ran on the promise to end the war, and after getting inaugurated in 2133, immediately started peace talks with the esterian government, who by then was already doing strong government things like elections and such.

the united states would give up all its possessions west of the continental divide, as well as the territory east of it north of the obama territory, as well as multiple port cities esterian government controlled in other areas of american mars across the globe. this creates the classic "esteria shape", but bigger.

this absolutely kills the president's chance of re-election, but. the president thought it was the best option for the US in the long run

thats when esteria does all the indpendence referendums and such and we get most of olympus insula + ida insula going independent. but the unity of the revolution kept a lot of the new state intact, including most of the port cities abroad. the fighting was long from over, though, as throughout the 2130s and 2140s esteria would have to deal with militant groups from the fundie charters.

so yeah. esteria would be borne from the union of revolutions under one flag. and i know my brain is healing because i only barely thought of tavadia while writing that previous sentence. i am becoming healthy once again

[felixxthefrog]

scheduling this for January 1, 2025 at midnight. a letter to my future self.

for whoever the fuck i've become by the time i'm reading this later.

hey, i guess?

it's january 4th and i just put my playlist in dumpster for u. hope u like it. it's kinda shit, and the Bow Weevils don't fit the vibe, but then neither does Gravy.

i hope ur cool. ive been trying to get cooler. read more books, listen to more music, better books, and better music. i hope you're cool like i want to be cool. educated. witty. funny. i don't know if i'll ever be funny. but maybe you will be.

if you haven't yet, make sure to read that letter i left for you in the start of the green journal. it's sad, but it'll show you the parts of me that you'll inevitably repress.

the panic attacks have started coming back. i'm sorry. i hope you got better.

are you any closer to jacob? do you still go to the bookshop? how many books have we gotten in the last year? how many have we read? enough?

it's never enough books, is it.

have you found any new book shops? any new coffee shops?

how long is your hair?? what color is it?? did you bleach it??? i'm gonna be so mad if you've bleached it. is it curly again? i miss my curls, i hope you have them. take care of them, please. please don't cut them off. i miss them.

are the cats okay? they're big boys now, aren't they? officially two. they're all asleep right now, but they're menaces. does aster still get on cabinets? i bet he does.

what about 🐀? how is she doing? better? closer? comfier? more confident? how is work? still shit?

what about 🧸? how are they? and 🪱?

what about j🐦and 🐧 and 🐻‍❄️?

what about 🕷️?? does he have a partner yet?? i hope he's happy.

(i hope u know who i'm talking about with all the censored names. internet creeps and all. you never know)

how... how was the election? you voted, right? we did? how did it go? is everything okay? i know it probably won't get better but god i hope it does. and if it's not better... i hope you're ready. hurry. get ready, if you aren't. i hope everything is okay. you'll have to tell me who won. i wish i could reassure you. reassure me. know what you know. it's so scary, the not knowing

what about Palestine? israel is getting war crime charges from South Africa soon i think. i hope they get what they deserve. and i hope Palestine is free. i hope they're healing. thriving. i don't know if they will be. but i hope they are. the war isn't over yet but i hope it will be soon.

do you still have hope? do we still have hope? if we ever have a little girl, we should name her pandora.

have you painted the wall more? have you made more art? have you written anything? what about edith hamilton and ishmael reed and maya angelou? do you still love them? are they still with you?

what about.. mom? is she okay? has she grown? changed? is she accepting? does she call you felix? probably not. even if she was accepting, idk if she'd like the name felix.

are you still felix?? do you still use that name? still genderfluid? still a lesbian? jesus christ i hope so. i've been waiting to call myself a lesbian for 6 years now, since we were 14. i'm not giving that up any time soon. i hope.

is that stupid pothos still alive. do you drink more now that you're legal?

do you work? or are you still at home? are you going to school? i'm assuming ur not going to school. can you drive?

i don't know what else to ask. tell me everything.

[chronicbloodynoses]

they’re so right abt the direct connection from social media and serotonin i made a post on instagram and ive gotten 4 likes and im jumping for joy

also i’ve officially lost my old account that i abandoned so idk im kinda happy LOL i just realised today that it’s no longer in my thingy where i could switch to it if i wanted

5 likes! idk how i stayed normal w my old account bc i literally was almost to 1000 followers+my average was around 30-50 ish but my peak was 100~ (if i remember correctly) (i choose to not check)

anyway! watching the office and i just finished a crazy ass episode from season 4 so don’t spoil anything for me or i will sell your organs also i finally did my book report and now im struggling to do my other assignment but yknow how it is 😔

next semester i’m gonna do a college writing and idk how im gonna manage but for book report stuff im just gonna do house of leaves it’s my favourite ever and i decided to do it for my normal english too just so i can REALLY analyse it bc i choose to NOT BE NORMAL abt ANYTHING and esp not my fav book bc i plan to take insane notes on all of it (but i canNOT annotate. putting a gun to my head b4 i write or highlight in a book. esp bc i plan to have this book 4ever and actually it’s a long story new paragraph

i want to have kids in the future and be able to have a lot of books for them to read

line break i hear my mother’s movie/show/idk and i hear a sex scene ive texted her begging to turn it down or i will purchase a fire arm

anyway! so in my house i want to be able to have a bunch of different books bc i just love the way that books look and i want to attempt to become an actual reader but idk it’s hard books usually suck butt!!!!!!!! but i love house of leaves pls pls pls read it

i should make every instance of house blue just like in the book i think that would be cool starting now the h word will be BLUE ……… if i rememberrrrrr yeah

my dilemma is- do i do homework or do i do nothing and possibly get high

homework? nothing really is due til wednesday+thursday

nothing? i totally want to do nothing and possibly get high bc that’s a lot more fun than writing about my writing process….. or creating lesson plans for first graders…….. but i mean i used chat got to help me with ideas so i think im gonna do andy warhol (we need to do it based on an artist) and try to get something thanksgiving-y or something idk also need to get our stupid paper back from our teacher bc she won’t give it back but next time i’m gonna say “hey! we would really appreciate it if you could fill this out during our teaching so we can get it back to our teacher ….” idk work in progress i thought of a better one earlier but yknow also i am bleeding profusely and it sucks butt but at least i’m not bleeding out of my butt LOL #coping uh anyway yeah i should prob figure out what im gonna do or try to get a gummy

BYE GUYS 🙈 ENJOY THE YAP FEST MAYBE

[indigosfindings]

the gist of it is that following fans' observation of (1) the fact that the characters are repeatedly depicted with sci-fi looking knee-high boots...

...and (2) that in some old promo art the "boots" look more like prosthetics...

...it became popular to claim that all star fox pilots get their (lower/) legs amputated "so that blood doesnt pool in their legs while they fly". despite being an ENTIRELY fanmade headcanon (probably pulling from the history of a notable wwii pilot who had amputated legs?), it was widely treated as canon by both fans & publications (eg game theory in 2015, gameinformer in 2013, didyouknowgaming in 2012... iirc i think the starfox wiki said it at the time?? dont quote me on that). (there are also more recent examples like some of the comments on this reddit post)

it was so widespread that for a period in the 2010s virtually any fanart that protrayed the characters Legfully would invite a whirlwind of backlash (eg this 2012 smashboards thread which makes reference to it, or awkward zombie's strip about fox's legs not fitting in his boots, which has gotten plenty of "Well-Actually" replies over the years)

(i could swear i remember seeing the artist tweeting something like "please stop messaging me about amputated fox legs" afterward?? i cant seem to find it though)

if you look through these replies youll notice that theyre always phrased as if fox & co's Leglessness is just a Known Thing, like as if this is in-game textual canon and not just a headcanon with traction... equivalent to if everyone started taking it as a given that sans & ness are canonically/officially the same character and suggesting that anyone who didnt know this was stupid. the only other example i can recall of a headcanon making this many people act this annoying is the jumpman thing lmao

afaict it seems like the claim originates around 2012? the earliest iteration ive found is from 4chan, as quoted by this 2012 neogaf post:

(submerged for parsability. note how the quoted portion uses uncertain phrasing--"probably"--but the quoter takes it as gospel. furthermore, lol)

it was formally deconfirmed by dylan cuthbert in a 2016 gameinformer interview. this 2021 article is one of multiple debunks out there.

tldr a sizeable chunk of the star fox fanbase convinced themselves apropos of nothing that a headcanon was Unimpeachable Incontrovertible Official Information and acted annoying about it for a few years

wait oh my god. remember the star fox amputated leg thing

[three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat]

OHH MY GOD THE "BEYOND..." OPTION I FORGOT AB THAT ONE!!! sksw link is such a rascal i love him so...

and donot fucking worry i know EXACTLY what ur talking abt with how it permeates the tags and ao3. finding good ao3 fics is impossible and ESPECIALLY for sksw and oot. im surprised ive found what good ones i can man. also i could talk for hours alone about how L/U has impacted malons character bc i adore her to the point of devoting a major part of my post-oot aus to what happens to her and seeing how shes interpreted nowadays is so. hhhhh !!!!!!! :((( stop making her a scolding mother figure stop making her Links Wife and nothing else she can be so much more than just that!!!!!!!!!!!! aauauausbaa. actually i could talk forever and ever abt how fanon link and malon and zelda tends to make them the worst possible versions of themselves and how l/u kinda perpetuates that but its 1 am and i have a fic to write so fffff

and the names man the names. its such a small thing (and im no stranger to sometimes using those abbreviations in some of my posts when i get especially verbose or have to talk abt multiple links all at once) but i try to go outta my way to refer to the chars as [game] [name] just to make it as clear as possible that im not talking abt the l/u counterparts. theyre practically their own chars to me at this point which sucks when im looking for content of my favs sksw link or oot link and i get Sleepy Soft Boy and Responsible Serious Soldier like no! no!!!!! thats my purse i dont know you /ref!!!!!!!

anyways. maybe i am just old and not with it since ive been a loz fan almost my entire life but it is nice to see someone who feels the same 👍 ty for lettin me complain for a moment there.

on a lighter note tell me about the "sksw link is not actually sleepy" thing bc im curious. its a thing thats mentioned abt pre-destiny link but after zelda falls it does kinda go away aside from the eyebags in his character model and i wanna kno what u hafta say ab it.........

You and I, we can be haters together

The one SMALL mercy I've found while looking up loz fics is that there's no lu fics in the ghiralink tag. For obvious reasons I think. Everywhere else seems to be a fucking HELLHOLE (the first thing I search when I first start looking for fics in a fandom is time travel and uh-- you can imagine what I found (BARELY FUCKING ANYTHING (and also lu)))

Also I haven't gotten around to watching an oot playthrough yet-- is it really that bad with Malon? (For the record I much prefer zelink and like-- I don't even really like zelink all that much beyond ss. And also I hc oot as siblings sometimes. So yeah.)

Honestly I would love to play oot but I can't :( and alas, watching playthroughs is just dreadfully dull (I got a decent way through an mm one though but gave up eventually). Regarding oot link's character though-- I admit I myself have not yet written a fic where it's not lu (or adjacent) so I don't really get the intricacies of his character (see also aforementioned playthrough dullness) so like. If you ever want to talk to someone about it all I would be interested

I also do the name thing, with game then character (on one hand the "hero titles" is just lazy and i really hate how it's become common and they would never give each other names like that but on the other the reason I haven't written much for MY links meet au is because I can't come up with 12 names that don't sound stupid and are also names they would give each other, so. And also apparently those names aren't official to lu (in comic jojo will use things like the old man (time) the smithy (four) the rancher (twilight) and full hero titles on posts (hero of the skies, hero of the four sword, etc)). So as you can see all bad things come from fandom, in this essay I will,

Ok so. It's been a while since I've fully played ss (like two months but my memory is just shit). So I might be wrong. But Link simply does not seem very sleepy to me? Especially not to the extent he is in lu.

For one-- our first introduction to him is him sleeping, yes, and we get told by many npcs and Zelda herself that he oversleeps, but there's a VAST difference between oversleeping and being sleepy. I myself am bad at alarms and such and beyond Premium Loftwing Mail (letter spat in your face) there's really nothing to wake him up, so he'd probably just sleep too long

Also he's been having dreams about the Imprisoned for who knows how long. Dude probably ain't sleeping that well (fi I love you but I think that might have been a mistake)

(Side note he's still in school and there's an open book on his desk-- he COULD be staying up late studying. Unlikely but I think that would be interesting)

Honestly it all just seems like teasing to me-- there's no indication that he's ACTUALLY constantly sleeping too long, just that it's happened enough times that some people have noticed (and it's not like everyone says it). Honestly the only thing pointing to a constant sleepiness is his "sit too long on a stool and start nodding off" animation (which is still like, really funny imo. how are you even DOING that you are SITTING STRAIGHT UP)

Now, delving into my own hcs and such-- he did not sleep. After Impa calls him lazy and too late at the earth temple, something I think would distinctly Fuck Him Up (he SAW the chains Zelda was held by), he would simply-- forgo sleep until it was necessary. I've seen estimates that sksw took place over about 11 months, and that's what I generally use in my fics, so-- my dude really said "I wont rest until I find Zelda" and then took a knife to his sleep schedule

(Side note-- do you think they held a funeral (or Skyloft equivalent) for Zelda? Like it seems that after a week or so of searching, the reasonable conclusion of her being dead would be reached (especially if her bird came back, which-- what's up with that? There must be some nesting area for loftwings, so either it would be seen there or it would also be presumed alongside Zelda if it got sucked down to the surface))

So anyway. His tiredness is self imposed, not something he's always had. (One of my febuwhump fics was that he was literally so exhausted he got hurt and passed out midfight. It was fun.)

Also like I don't know if it's just me but sleepy and tired have different meanings-- sleepy is, idk, cuter? Softer? And tired is. I haven't slept in 17 hours and before that I slept for three hours. (Maybe THAT'S just why it bugs me so much)

And also! Like you said! Beyond the eyebags (which are always there, lending credit to my theory of oversleeping because he simply didn't sleep well/enough) he's really... not tired OR sleepy for the majority of the game

Anyway moving onto lu :) SKY BEING THE LAZY ONE REALLY BUGS ME BECAUSE SIR HAVE YOU EVEN PLAYED THE GAME. YOU'RE GOING TO ASSIGN HIM THE ATTRIBUTE OF LAZINESS WHEN HE ALMOST CERTAINLY PUSHED HIMSELF HARDER TO RESCUE ZELDA AFTER BEING CALLED SUCH? AND THAT'S ALL YOU'RE GOING TO REDUCE HIM TO? YOU COULD'VE AT LEAST PICKED SOMETHING COOL LIKE "GOD KILLER" OR SOMETHING ACCURATE LIKE "LITTLE SHIT"

Ha. He's the one who bugs me the most because ss is my favorite game (not just Zelda game, favorite out of anything) and I've put literal hundred of hours into it. There's honestly more I could say but i fear I've already descended into "wildly incomprehensible"

[nymphoheretic]

I hope you had a lovely day friend! I know we talked tiny bit about how hot Nemi is… how could we not!

I hope you are doing well! I saw you finished some new work! I’ll have to settle down in bed and read soon! How is your head healing? I hope still well! Also hoping your power came back early! But here in FL it never does..

Todays been very long. My grandma was diagnosed with early stages of dementia her last check up. Which I knew was coming, however hearing it official was still hard. They did say they were impressed that at 88 she’s just showing signs, however the aspect of it isn’t great.

Today was her 69th wedding anniversary. She made a comment how my grandpa didn’t bring her flowers, before I corrected her she responded “oh wait he’s dead isn’t he.” That was hard. I baked homemade Icecream sandwiches. Well the cookie part and added Icecream etc, we looked at her wedding photos and overall she had a good day!

I definitely inherited my sweet tooth and love for Icecream from her. Do you have a favorite flavor? As childish as it is mines Cotten candy.. which FINALLY someone started selling bless target!

Sending you all the fresh baked treats and love <3

Nemi..Nemi...Nemi...how I can't wait for him to get more screen time, even if the Hashira training arc is mostly him yelling at Tanji and Genya to get away from him 🤭 He's so stupid and cute. I will kiss him.

My head is healing just fine! Ima have a scar where I was hit, but Im used to having scars on my face by now! Me and Nemi can kiss scars now! But unfortunately, my power still is not back on yet, And the ETA is still the 24th by 10PM!

Your gramdma is still strong! Its just the early signs, thankfully! But 88 and just now showing signs? She's just like my grandma who just turned 83 and still takes care of herself!

Homemade icecream sandwiches sound so good! I want to try to make those smores cookies I've been seeing of tiktok (With homemade cooike dough of course) cause those would be so good with come vanilla ice cream too!

As for my favorite flavor? I like the classics. Chocolate is mine! But Coffee has also grown on me since Ive gotten older (i still pair it with chocolate syrup though lol)