#ive had bad experiences before | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lee-and-honey-bee · 7 months

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That’s great!!! What did he think of Honey? Are you gonna take her with you on the date?

Heheh....

OK so maybe I didn't tell him about Honey...

Or the fact I'm riddled with anxiety and PTSD....

But! We're going on a date soon!

So that's good news!

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ratherbefangirling · 2 years

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To the person who sent me a ship on anon

You need to reblog the og post and let me know

#ive had bad experiences before #its about healthy boundaries

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marblerose-rue · 1 month

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got asked to draw two of my old wc rp ocs :-) left is cicadahop, right is scallopstar

#my art #wc oc #squints. its been a dogs age since ive posted anything wc oc related #oc #BUT YA!!!! these guys are old. i think i made cicadahop 2018-2019 but i could be wrong/i have no way of checking haha #and scallopstar was made 2020.? i think? both are vaaastly different #if i were to play them today i think id keep a lot of things the same for cicada. shes just a silly girl who wants to make friends and #and be kind. as for scallopstar. i think id change a lot #one reason: ive gotten a lot better (I HOPE) with storytelling now that ive been playing dnd for a well over a year #and since i also run two different campaigns. two: i have more experience writing a character with an arc that turns them into a villain #three: i was really going through it at the time so. erm. LMFAO plus i was like 16 so ANDKJFGNJDFHBGJH #but yeah!!! kinda crazy looking at my old art and seeing how much ive improved #also a weird feeling to draw them again but not a Bad weird feeling. been doing a lot of reminiscing #thank god we can copy/paste tags bc if i had to rewrite this all id be so sad HAHA #the crop was weird so i wanted to fix it before it was too late lol #since these 2 are ocs im not gonna indicate this was a request the same way i will with the other requests lol

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shadyhouse · 2 months

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i keep getting rejected from job applications and i have no idea what im doing wrong. i wish they would just tell you WHY you're getting rejected and ways to improve. its a guessing game that ends up making me feel even more worthless than i felt before

#like i have been nonstop applying for jobs for the past YEAR and ive gotten TWO INTERVIEWS #one of them i got kicked out of near immediately bc you werent allowed to be late to the job and i mentioned i take the bus (mistake i know)#and the other one i had to turn down bc they wanted to pay me $11/hr despite me already having the experience they needed #and i just reapplied to an old job i had a couple years ago that pays well but i got an instant rejection #not to mention all the other jobs ive been applying to that dont even TRY to contact me before rejecting me #and then my current job where ive been pretty much explicitly told i'm never ever going to get promoted and i keep getting my hours cut #for reasons beyond my comprehension like i dont know what im even doing wrong bc no one will TELL ME #JUST TELL ME WHAT IM DOING WRONG #WHY AM I BEING BAD AT LIFE. CAN YOU THROW ME A BONE PLEASE.#IM TIRED OF SURVIVING I WANT TO THRIVE #IVE BEEN SURVIVING MY WHOLE LIFE IM JUST EXHAUSTED I WANT TO FEEL GOOD ABOUT SOMETHING I DID FOR ONCE PLEASE #Sorry for venting im trying to hold back a breakdown and i have to leave for work in an hour and i just need to shout into the void about it #even applying for like medical based jobs hasnt worked out. you wont even let me be a RECEPTIONIST?#i feel trapped at my current job. even my coworkers have been telling me that ive had my position for wayyyy too long and im gonna be stuck #like tell me something i dont know!!!!!!!!!! tell me how to get a better job!!!!!!!!!!!!! bc im struggling in every aspect of my life!!!!!!#whoever cursed me its working i hope youre happy. the haters love to see it

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jinstronaut · 3 months

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this is also why i stopped using my tracked tag for a while tbh

#and i might do it again bc its just #a reminder that no one rly cares abt what i do / who i am etc #which might sound over dramatic idk how else to describe it tho its just hollow #it feels very much like a Chore and a Task and if i dont reblog things fast enough from my tag #people get very angry and/or upset with me even tho theres just #so much content and i have 0 time so everything gets queued no matter what #like this whole experience feels like a chore lmao #and it never ever used to #but now theres so much animosity if i dont behave / interact with things Properly #or whatever the make believe rules are idk #this dash can just be so negative like have we all truly descended into madness during this hiatus #bc like i get it ive been up and down and all around too but ive never been straight up MEAN to anyone in this community #and i never want to either so this entire situation thats been bubbling for months just feels like shit #bc what the fuck changed and how do we get back to where we were #i never ever ever ever felt this way before like idk the middle of last year #but ever since like last fall its just been idk. Bad #once again im sorry if ive ever done anything to upset anyone but my silence / absence doesnt mean i dont care #ive just been Incredibly busy due to some real life changes that are out of my control #i might not have energy to answer everything but i do Read everything and it does make me smile #and i save messages that are kind in my heart so i can be reminded of the root of what this blog is supposed to be #a space for something im very passionate about and previously had nowhere else to express said passion #so like idk if we all like the same things why does this weird feeling of competition linger over us lmao #why do all ccs have to fight???? each other???? when we all love and do the same things????#i have nothing against anyone personally but what i Do take issue with is the way that ive been doing this since 2021 and im fully just #ignored and shoved aside by so many people for reasons i fully dont know or understand #so yeah idk this is a novel i just woke up from a spontaneous nap bc im so exhausted i can only stay awake for 3 hours at a time #but yeah anyways idk !#be nice its so easy !#tbd

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nerdie-faerie · 6 months

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Finished packing at half 7, took an hour nap and then only just made it to my coach with a couple of minutes to spare, I live on the edge. The edge of a panic attack

#ace is a mess #packing perils #travel tag #tw: anxiety #im such a dumbass i literally could not get my brain to engage with the tasks #i left without doing everything i needed/wanted to and thats already after i realised as i was about to lock my flat #that i forgot my laptop charger and had to go back in for it cant wait to realise what else ive forgotten when i get home ✌️😗#i had to collect packages before i left and one of them turned out to be one of the presents i thought wasnt coming so thats something #god my heart is pounding and raining so i was tryna drag my stupid luggage around on slippery cobbles whilst in a panic #not my finest and yet somehow not my dumbest but im making new records for that every year at uni #is not as bad as my friend's travel experience though and as far as my mum is aware i was completely organised and responsible #maybe ill remember to get checked for adhd while im home at the gp im actually registered to

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re-decorate · 5 days

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i need to jump into a volcano

#ive had bad research experiences before #(mostly my fault bc i didnt know what i was doing and i was too naive to know i could ask for help or for more responsibility)#but this is catastrophic #too bad i tied my capstone requirement to this #bc i dont even know if this project will work out #oh im so fucked #there goes my productive summer #ramblings

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lopsidedtreetrunks · 3 months

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I need to remember that my blog is for ME and that I can post/reblog whatever I want forever and it doesn't matter if people think im cringe or not

#this is specifically about how im scared to rb rick and morty stuff bc ive had bad experience with fandom policing on here before bdjksks #but that was like... 2016 or smth so realistically i need the chill tf out about it #im struggling to hide how insane i am aboutthis show on my blog bsasds #gonna go through all thw shit ive liked and reblog a few things in a min lmao #i love you rnm tumblr <3 #ignore me

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hella1975 · 1 year

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idk how irl celebrities handle fame at a young age like at seventeen i had a couple hundred people regularly interacting with me and putting me on a pedestal and that almost made me crazy. i see new writers getting attention in fandom and i immediately have to put myself in front of them and start barking. get behind me girl

#I FEEL LIKE THIS SHOULD BE TALKED ABOUT MORE LMAO LIKE EVEN THOUGH IT'S A VERY SMALL AMOUNT OF ATTENTION #COMPARED TO LIKE. ACTUAL CELEBRITY #IT'S STILL INSANE LIKE FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS IVE HAD RECURRING INSTANCES OF PEOPLE BEING WEIRD #AND PUSHING BOUNDARIES AND GENERALLY FORGETTING IM AN ACTUAL REAL LIFE PERSON #AND EVEN A LOT OF THOSE WHO AREN'T - ACCIDENTALLY OR INTENTIONALLY - NEGATIVE ABOUT IT #STILL VERY CASUALLY TALK ABOUT ME LIKE IM SOME SUPERIOR FORCE #LIKE IM JUST A GUY ACTUALLY #AND EVEN THOUGH IM ONLY TWENTY I CAN HANDLE IT A LOTTTTTTT BETTER #BUT SOMEONE NEEDS TO DO A STUDY ON THIS SHIT FOR YOUNGER PEOPLE #BC AT SEVENTEEN I REALLY REALLY CANNOT STRESS ENOUGH HOW BAD THAT SHIT WAS FOR ME LMAO #and now i just go crazy overprotective of newer/more unsure writers/artists in fandom #if ur reading this and ive done this to you then my bad <3 #like if we're in the same circle and you get a mean ask/comment/experience then it's truly a matter of time before i descend from the sky #sorry <3 it will happen again <3 #someone ive interacted with maybe one time: i got a mean ask-#me immediately seeing red: do you want me to kill them for you #nothing triggered this post btw it's just something that's on my mind a lot #i feel like a war veteran and im literally a student. ive been in the trenches besties. i have suffered more than jesus i think

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pepprs · 9 months

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ok i survived yom kippur. but it took every single scrap of strength in my body and i’m not completely better yet

#purrs #food #ask to tag #got my period thursday… bad cramps friday and saturday to the point where i had to go home early saturday (we were working lol 🤪)…. woke up #sunday with a. headache that got worse and worse throughout the day… 5-6 hours into the fast was in agony and felt like i was going to ****#so i… broke the fast and ate something at like 1am. then woke up in agony at 5am and then again at 9am and had a breakdown / fight with my #mom and then spend the whole rest of the fast deathly nauseous and my head hurting worse than ever. broke the fast an hour before everyone #else did (only ate a tiny bit) and then during the fast breaking dinner i started freaking out bc eating wasn’t making my head hurt less so #my grandpa told me to go lie down with a heating pad on my head and i did and slept for like 2 hours and it helped. finally feel better but #my head still hurts faintly and im scared it’ll come back. also i didn’t do my homework and missed class today to fast so im fucked #ive had headaches like this before but this is the worst one in a LONG time. it wasn’t a migraine bc those are in one specific spot iirc but #this was like… my ENTIRE face and the source of the pain migrated from my jaw to my temple to the bridge of my nose to the back of my head #etc etc and it kept moving around and was so sharp i didn’t even have the strength to open my eyes or walk around. and i think it was making #me interpret hunger as nausea. also i took my temperature bc i was flashing hot and cold and was like 2 degrees under normal body temp and #felt so weak and shaky and had body aches too. lol 😍 hpefully the worst of it is over but my head still hurts a little and im so scared itll #happen again. that was by far my worst fasting experience ever #delete later

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tamagotchikgs · 2 months

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i am so filled w love rn i am so ,,,,, Something. & maybe i am allowed to be comfortable w someone for the first time ever mayb i am safe...... i keep saying this because i never thought i would b. but it only feels more true,,, more possible as time goes on n that is wild 2 me

#when did i get here how did i get this how did i get the best thing in my whole life #they r so fucking cool they r everything good in the world #& i adore them w my whole soul #i dont even know how 2 convey it #i dont deserve any of it but god does it feel so good. to just. be able to give love n receive it n it feel .Real #feel like maybe i can fit n exist n have a place even if it's with a single person #not only a place where i belong but where i am allowed 2 love #because like !!!!!! holay molayyyy !!!!!!!!!! i love !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! them so much !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i dont even know how to show it but a !!!!!!!!!!!!! it is in there n it is bubbling every second n i . every moment spent w them is nourish #nourishing my soul #straight lasagna in that bad boy #there has never been anything more important or interesting 2 me i have ever come across in the world than them #yea i still get nervous or . self-conscious w them sometimes because o boy they deserve the world but. it feels so different #it's different to the one i feel everywhere else #im not gonna lie the strong emotions i get because of how much i care can b.. agonizing when it's the bad ones #but the good outweighs them so hard #and ive never had that #usually the bad hits n it takes me down n thats it #i keep going down #but here i get down n then. hey wait. here is good #here is sosoososos much good #n i cherish them for the way they can handle my shit so much HBJABH...#on top of already loving them #instead of . me being a problem it's ok #they grab my shit n twist it #it's like i can be a person if im with them #and the experiences i have had n continue 2 have build onto me #like i am a person. and i can see it. which i never have been or could before #but more than any of the ways they affect me i just love them for . the fact they r them #standalone they r so fucking incredible. n i want them to know that i want them 2 feel that too

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silverislander · 2 months

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people smarter than me have said this before but jesus christ why does every job seem to require at least a year of experience and a degree in some hyperspecific field. where did the entry level positions go? how am i even supposed to get experience if none of yall will give me a job without it?

#theres already almost nothing related to my field being offered but even the unrelated things that i think i could try are out bc of this #most of the stuff id actually care abt doing actually require 3-5+yrs! in a field that i cant get into without experience i cant get!#and people talk abt how 'nobody wants to work' i am BEGGING you for a job. literally begging (cover letters).#im coming to the horrifying realization that its possible Nothing i have done w my entire life matters. i have nothing useful #i really feel like i made a mistake. that cant be the best five years of my life i wasnt even happy during most of them #i applied to six jobs weeks ago and ive heard back from one of them and it was a rejection. and theres nothing else to apply to #my degree isnt helping and all of my hobbies are useless. why am i only good at/passionate abt arts. why not math or smth instead #i should have just done ece like i was planning to instead of my honours. what was even the point #and im watching other people in my year get great jobs right out of university. watching my BROTHER get offered work on a silver platter #hes 19 and got five different offers + didnt apply people just asked him to work for them. second year in a row this has happened #hes never had to work for minimum wage. hes always had a good job in his field lined up anytime he wants to work and it always pays well #and i finished five years and ive had to beg for everything ive ever gotten and its still not enough to count for anything #im proud of him but fuck it stings a little #levi.txt #vent tw #oh right i forgot i should just walk in and shake the managers hand. /right/. and they will simply give me a job on the spot bc of this #if people whove been working the same job since before 1990 dont fucking stop giving me bad advice istfg #and these same people say nepotism isnt real and in the same breath talk abt giving their nephew a summer job at their company #literally all i want is work i can be decent at that i care abt and making a living wage. it doesnt have to be fun i dont want to be rich #i just want to do an ok job feel like my work matters and make enough to start my life. thats all

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lorenlily · 2 months

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the "there's a good album in there" takes are so funny to me

#mostly because its the exact sentiment ive had about nearly all of her releases #i always do have to cut and/or reorder the tracks to make them feel like an album™️ for me #vs the collection of songs that are snapshots of certain points in her life which is mostly what her art has beeb #and theres nothing bad about that because they are snapshots so at the least there is usually some loose theme running through them #but the execution isnt always up to scratch in terms of song choice and order from my interpretation #and thats the thing with being a creative and putting art out to be consumed the art will be consumed and interpreted #and the interpretation is commentary on the consumers own experiences the way the art itself could be commentary of the writers own experien #and when you're putting art into the world you do have to be at peace with the fact there will be these interpretations #whether theyre in the forms of complements or criticism and be able to separate the constructive vs the not #otherwise the art can still be made it'll always find a way to be made but nothing ever has to be put out to be consumed #yeah that one quote just irked me #(and before anyone hates shes not the only artist i think this about)#dais speak not*

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theblehthatbloos · 3 months

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I'm out of the hospital, turns out I have some kind of emotional trauma that's making my body try to suffocate itself, honestly same but what a bitch way to do it. Making it so I can barely breathe but I still have 99% oxygen and my vitals are good. Fuckin' hell dude. Anyways wish me luck in figuring that out, didn't make a lot of progress crying in the parking lol at 4am while waiting for an Uber after the news that my mind and body have disconnected or something, but check the bracelet swag

Nice

#hell yeah #im going to explode #literally i was so chill #i do get stressed at work but i love my job #i had a really bad dating experience the month before but that's not it i think #i was waiting for my uber home while still suffocating and some random dude started playing music #i have no idea what the lyrics were #i dont even think it was English #but i was thinking about how frustrated i was and i felt my face get wet #just uncontrollable tears #4 minutes straight of crying #head looking up and wiping away every few seconds #paused so my driver didn't see me sobing but they did here me sniffing and trying yo breathe. not the best look #got upstairs and home #picked up a back of nerd candy and i fell apart #ive been chill for atleast a week #yeah i couldn't breathe but nothing came up #alll of this to say...#it was April 2nd #and unless my bodys a prankster #the only other thing from today was the end of the boop #i miss the boop so much #not it but holy shit it brings a little silly smile #boop

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omegasmileyface · 5 months

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im slowly becoming more certain that ive lived an aromantic or aspec experience but im starting to think my experience was VERY much not the norm for those

#i feel like ive rarely had romance pushed onto me. ive been flirted with for usually a day or a couple days which felt so bad but its #over quickly. there was no background pressure for a relationship. i was never grilled or pressured by my family #in school my best friend was a boy which got me some 'oh they must be dating' but (a) nobody gave a shit about me enough to push lol #and (b) you can only consistently have guy friends for so long in a small school before people just get used to it #i feel like dating in high school wasnt really a thing. and i could be wrong but if ir was a thing it was a thing the same as having your #own car and playing varsity sports and doing spirit week etc etc. that was a world so outside mine it genuinely felt like there was no #crossover. we were a gay friend group but we were HIGH SCHOOLERS in the middle of nowhere. we werent gay as in 'dating queerly' we were #gay as in 'queer expectations for future dating' which was a very aspec INCLUSIVE experience #its very likely that the only reason i didnt experience this constant overwhelming pressure to conform that i hear from other aros is just #because im not very observant of emotions. im an autistic outcast who only cared about dating as a concept not a reality yknow? you would #have probably had to say it directly to my face if you wanted me to think you thought i was supposed to be in a relationship #i was just chillin. i dunno. anyway all this is to say i fuckin love valentines day #its a family holiday to me :)

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toastsnaffler · 5 months

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fun sunday afternoon plans my dbt workbook arrived + I have a lecture on adhd + seasonal affective disorder to watch that I signed up for a while ago. maybe either of those will tell me how to survive this winter without killing myself 👍

#its the same dbt book ive used before but i only had a pdf before.. its much easier to navigate/use a physical copy #some of the techniques did help me to reduce bad coping mechanisms significantly last yr. so worth giving it another shot #i dont rly respond well to therapy unless its self administered bc i cant talk to ppl abt my problems + dont trust what they say anyway #its just easier independently in a written format. theyre my issues i got myself into this shit so i can get myself out of it. or not #wish i could at least exercise today but i think it is a chest infection im coming down with. so im not sure i physically can #its painful enough breathing as is. making some lemon honey ginger tea tho so hopefully thatll help #man. the fucking Misery. i hope i make it through this one. sooner rather than later preferably 👍#.vent #.diaries #i have a book on bpd as well. i dont think i have bpd myself but some of the interpersonal issues ppl w bpd have are similar to those-#i experience so just curious whether itll have any useful advice for managing emotional instability/insecurity in relationships

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