#ive gotten to spend more time with my brother than i have in all of 2022

[lunarflare64]

January 2023 has been three years long and there's still another week to go

[doitforbangchan]

Cross My Heart- Kim Hongjoong

Masterlist

did i spend my time writing this instead of working on Abanb? yes yes i did. But ive had brainrot for Joong and needed to get this out sooo..please enjoy :)

ps- this fic may be triggering for some so please see the warnings!

Brothers best friend! Hongjoong x reader (afab)

Warnings: Afab/fem reader, smut, unprotected p in v, cream pies, dubcon/noncon, fingering, drinking, drink spiking, drunk reader, coercion, cursing, kissing, dom!hongjoong, inexperienced (not virgin)! Reader, pet names, crying, name calling, possesive! Hongjoong, Hongjoong is a bad person, and probably more. Not proofread :)

WC: 4.5k

Hongjoong looked good tonight. Too good. Sinfully good. He was wearing dark black jeans and an equally dark ripped tank that accentuated his slender waist perfectly. He sported his normal rings and chains, adding a few more for the occasion. Hongjoongs hair was platinum blonde- he seemed to have gotten it done within the last few months since you’ve seen him. If you had less self control you’d be drooling. 

For the last decade of your life you’ve had the biggest crush on Hongjoong. The way he carries himself always captivated you. From the swag in his walk to the charm in his smirk. He made you weak in the knees. Not to mention he was respectful and kind to everyone- especially to you. Though you would never dream of acting on your feelings for the man for one reason and one reason only.  

He was your brother's best friend. 

And your brother, Seonghwa, had made it very clear to you his best friend was off limits. 

You had expected him to be here. You knew he wouldn’t let Hwa down, especially when your brother was celebrating the biggest accomplishment of his life- his college graduation. Still; even though you knew he would be here in your home seeing him in person did nothing to slow the rapid beating of your heart in your chest. There was something so docile and charming about him that you couldn’t let go of. Maybe it was the way he leaned into you when he told you a secret. Or maybe it was the way he always made you feel included even when your brother didn’t want you around. 

The party was in full swing; your family home flooded with people all here to celebrate your brother. Some were people you knew, others were friends of your brother. Your parents were gracious enough to let him throw this ‘gathering’ while they were away for the weekend. You were both fully grown adults and they knew you could be trusted. 

From your spot across the room you could see your brother and Hongjoong playing beer pong. More like Joong playing beer pong while your brother swayed and missed every shot. It was only 11pm and your brother was already trashed, his pregaming taking more of a toll on him than he anticipated. 

You watched as a ball from the opponents sunk into the very last cup in their team, Hongjoog throwing his head back in frustration as the other team cheered for their victory. He must have sensed your eyes on him because suddenly he turned his head and made direct eye contact with you. He offered you a gentle smile and a small wave that you returned. Then he lifted the last solo cup of beer up as if cheersing you, and he tilted his head and downed the liquid. 

Pushing off the wall, you made your way into the kitchen to grab a drink. You didn’t plan on drinking tonight. You wanted to stay coherent so you could make sure nothing bad happened to your parents home, so you only grabbed a cup full of soda. 

Once you had your cup full you turned around from the counter but you were met with a hard surface. You almost lost balance but suddenly you were steadied by strong hands. 

“Careful there, Y/n. You almost dropped your drink.” 

You could feel your face burning as you looked to see the playful twinkle in the gorgeous eyes of Hongjoong. “Oh, t-thank you Joong.” Fuck you can’t belive you stuttered. You’ve known this guy for almost half your life, get a fucking grip. 

“No problem.” He let you go and you felt your breath return to you. “How have you been? I haven’t seen you in a while.” He didn’t have a drink in his hand so he reached around you and grabbed a bottle of tequila and a sprite. 

“I’ve been good, just working a lot to pay off my school debt. Ya know, same ole same ole.” You shrugged and sipped your drink.

He nodded, “Yeah me too. Things at the studio have kept me pretty busy.” Hongjoong graduated a year ago and immediately got a job in music production. He was so young and already living his dream. You admired him for it. You watched as he poured himself a shot and poured a second one. “You like tequila?” 

You shook your head, “Normally yes, but not tonight. Thank you though.” 

He gave you a pouty lip “Aw come on, not even one to celebrate?” He was already pushing it towards you as he lifted his own. 

You tilted your head side to side in contemplation before giving in with a small nod. “Ok, only one.” He used his fingers to cross his heart dramatically which made you giggle. He gave you that charming smile of his while he handed you your shot. You clinked shot glasses and both of you downed the liquor. 

You cringed as you felt the burn of the alcohol go down your throat, and you immediately had to chase it down with a sip of your soda. You mentally cursed whoever bought this cheap tequila (knowing it was you). 

Hongjoong patted your shoulder as you put your glass back down, laughing in jest at your disgusted face. “Yeah it’s pretty terrible.”  You were a known lightweight and you could feel the effects of the liquor already but you held yourself together well. Or so you thought. 

Faintly from the living room you could hear your favorite song playing. You gasped in realization, your tipsy brain getting excited. “My song is on!” 

Hongjoong chuckled and reached for your hand. “Let’s go then.” 

You ignored the fluttering in your stomach when he grabbed your hand, and looked at him confused. “Go where?” 

“To dance? This is your favorite song, isn’t it?” He said it like it was the most basic answer in the world, still giving you that playful yet dashing smile of his. 

“Oh.. I don’t know…” Your mind immediately went to your brother and how upset he would be if he found you dancing with Joong. You went to pull your hand back but he held on gently. “Hwa might be upset..” 

He snorted and rolled his eyes. “Doll, I don’t think he’s in his right mind to be upset about anything.” He nodded towards where he could see Seonghwa leaning against the wall, attempting to flirt with a pretty girl he graduated with.  “Plus it’s just a dance. Nothing nefarious.” 

You found yourself slowly nodding in agreement, one little dance couldn’t hurt. Right? 

“Alright, just one.” You held up a single finger. He crossed his heart once again, then laced your fingers together.

You went to walk away but he stopped you. “Don’t forget your drink. You don’t want some weirdo spiking it or something.” You nodded as you grabbed your cup then allowed him to pull you into the living room. 

---------------------------

One dance turned into two, then three. You don’t know why but you could feel your inhibitions leave you the more you danced and by the time you finished your drink. By dance number three you could tell something was up. You were abnormally drunk for only taking one shot. The pumping music and the crowds of partygoers only added to it. 

Hongjoong was being respectful, keeping his hands on your waist or your hands and spinning you around. He didn’t try to kiss you or hold you too tight even when you grabbed him to balance yourself  during the current slow song. 

“You doing alright, sweetheart?” He asked in a low tone, concern for you lacing his voice. 

“I don’ know wha’s wrong wif me..” Your words were slightly slurred. You could hear the drunkenness in your voice and it made you embarrassed. It was then it occurred to you the situation you still found yourself in. Pressed up against Hongjoong. Your crush- who was off limits. You pushed yourself away from him hastily, making him bristle when you almost fell. “I gotta go.” 

“Wait a sec, doll, what’s wron-” 

“What is goin on over here?” It was Seonghwa who interrupted Hongjoongs question. Somehow he had managed to drunkenly stagger into the living room without either of you knowing. He too leaned on Hongjoong for support. His hazy gaze settled on you, “Y/n are you ok?” 

You started to nod but it turned into you shaking your head ‘no’. “Hwa..” 

“I think she had a little too much to drink.” Hongjoong said, trying to hold both of you up but making it look effortless. 

Your brother hummed, narrowing his glossed over eyes at you. Then he sighed, “Looks like I’ll have to take care of her. Time for bed.” He went to grab your arm but he almost lost his balance, being more drunk than he appeared (which was already very drunk). Hongjoong didn’t miss the way Seonghwa muttered under his breath about you being a nuisance. 

You wanted to protest but Hongjoong cut you off. “I can take her up to her room. You should enjoy your party.” He pointed behind Hwa, “Plus there's a pretty little minx giving you eyes over there.” 

Seonghwa snapped his neck around to see the girl from earlier, giving him a wave of her fingers and a wink. He turned back to Hongjoong, “You’ll make sure she gets to bed?” Hongjoong made a cross over his heart. “Damn you really are my best friend. Thanks man, I owe you one.” And with that, the boy slinked off back to his new conquest. 

Hongjoong chuckled at the actions of his best friend, then turned his attention back to you. With no warning he scooped you up into his arms. You shrieked as you were suddenly lifted from the ground. “Waahhhhh!” 

“Calm down, doll. I’m taking you to bed.” He soothed you, walking through the crowds. He ignored the hoots and hollers people tossed at you both, only smirking in response. Joong stepped over a few wasted people who sat on the stairs. If you had your wits about you you would have swooned over how strong he is. 

Thankfully there was no one else trying to suck face- or worse- in your room, so he was able to set you down with no delay. You faintly recognized the minute sound of the lock on your door being turned, but you chalked it up to residuals from the music that blared downstairs. 

You relaxed into your sheets, happy to be back in your own comforting space. You shut your eyes and sighed. For a moment it was quiet and you had forgotten about the guest who was still in your room with you. 

That is, until you felt his lithe fingers trail up your thigh. Your eyes snapped open as you took in the scene in front of you. Hongjoong had somehow crawled onto your bed without you noticing and had taken his shirt off. 

“J-joong? Wha are you doing?” 

“Shhh, it’s alright, doll.” His usually soothing voice had a light bite to it that made you shiver and his eyes had a fire behind them you’ve never seen before. “M’ just taking care of you like I promised your brother I would.” His touches traveled even further up your thigh, getting closer to slipping under your skirt. 

“Joong I-I don’t think Hwa would like this..” You tried to protest and scoot up your bed but he put his weight down on you, holding you in place. His masculine cologne was making you even dizzier. 

By now his hand was on the cusp of touching your panties, the tip of his finger itching to get that centimeter closer to your core. 

“I’m not in Hwas bed, now am I?” He was almost condescending with the way he spoke to you. It was alarming as he had never once spoken to you like this before. “Aren’t you an adult? Or do you need your older brother's permission for everything?” 

“I don’t need his permission to do anything!” You protested, your voice coming out louder than intended. 

He snorted and sat up again, appearing disappointed. “Nah, I get it. I just thought you liked me, is all. I guess I was wrong.” He turned as if he was about to leave.

Your hand shot out and grabbed his shoulder before he could get off the bed. “No wait! I do like you Hongjoong! I like you so much!” 

He concealed his smirk with a sigh, “Doesn’t seem like it, doll. Seems to me you don’t want me, when all I wanna do is make you feel good.” His words reached deep into your drunken heart, making tears spring to your lashes. 

“No I do, I swear! Please Joongie, don’t be upset with me. M’ sorry!”You got out through your sniffles. You tried again to pull him back to you and thankfully he let you this time. “I do like you, I always have.” 

“Aww don’t cry sweetheart, you’re too pretty for tears.” He cooed and wiped the liquid from your cheeks. For some reason that made you cry even harder, your hold on him tightening even more. “ Gonna be good for me now, doll?” You nodded rapidly, wanting him to be happy with you again. “Thata girl.” 

After another wipe at your cheeks he used that same hand to tilt your face up to his, you held your breath as his eyes flickered down to your lips then back to your eyes. With no more hesitation he crashed your lips together. It was not soft and delicate like you had imagined he would kiss. Instead his mouth was punishing- a dangerous mix of teeth and tongue. He bit at your lip harshly, making you whimper from the pain. 

His hand that was not on your face slithered back down to your center, where this time he touched your most intimate area, running over your panties and to your clit. The contact made you jump and gasp; you weren’t used to being touched this intimately. You weren’t a virgin, but your experience was lackinging for the most part.  And doing this right now with Hongjoong- your brother's best friend- made you feel filthy. But that fact also made you start to get wetter than you ever had before.

Your own hands wrapped around his wrist in an attempt to stop him, but he never slowed or stopped. “Joongie.. We can’t do this.. It’s wrong…”His rubbing on your clit got even more intense as you spoke, his frustration with you coming through, and the pleasure was beginning to become painful. “Ow, y-your hurting me.” 

He turned your head forcefully and ran the thick of his tongue along your cheek, making you shiver, until his lips reached your ear. With a breathy growl he chuckled in your ear. “If you behave and let me play then it won’t hurt. I can feel how wet you are through these flimsy panties, I know you like it. Dirty slut.” 

You yelped when he delivered a punishing smack to your core, “Hongjoong!” 

“Don’t act like you don’t like it, Doll.” He started nipping and sucking at your neck and your grip on him tightened. “I’ve seen the way you look at me. The way you drool like a dog over me whenever I come around. You always act so innocent and shy, as if you haven’t been eye fucking me for years, makes me so fucking hard.” 

You couldn’t even breathe let alone move, the lust and terror combined were making you stiff and compliant. You could not believe Hongjoong, the sweetest and kindest man you had ever met - the boy you were raised around- your Joongie; was doing this dastardly act to you. You couldn’t decide if you loved this side of him or hated it. 

There was a part of your brain that was happy to have any part of him you could get so you decided not to fight him anymore. His kisses and touches turned sweeter the more you relaxed, he hummed in satisfaction when your hands released his wrist. 

“There's my sweet girl. You know Joongie will take care of you, yeah?” His tone was smug and you knew he would have a smirk on his face. “I’ll make you feel so good. Cross my heart, doll.” He took your small nod as permission to continue. 

His nimble fingers went to the waistband of your thong and he roughly pulled it down and exposed your now dripping pussy to his view. With no warning he rammed a finger into your hole, making your back arch as he started pumping it in and out of you. “S-shit, Joongie!” 

“You like my fingers inside you? I know you do, your pussy is leaking all over my hand.” He slipped another finger in, now using two and curling the tips until he found the spongy spot inside of you. You moaned lewdly at the sensation, eyes wide in shock. “Oooo I think I found your g-spot. I bet no one has ever touched that special little spot huh sweetheart?” 

You shook your head rapidly, but your lack of verbal response caused him to tut at you then swiftly withdraw from your pussy and deliver another stinging slap to your folds. “N-no one but you Joongie! Only you!” 

He purred and sucked a devilish mark on your neck, “Mmm I like the sound of that. Only me. The way it should be.”

 Both your heart and your core fluttered as he said it. It gave you hope that just maybe he felt the same way about you that you felt for him. Little did you know he always had. 

 He sat up and pulled back from you completely, looking down at you with those demeaning eyes of his. He almost groaned out loud at how fucked out you already looked and he had barely touched you yet. Hongjoong had wanted you for years. He was usually a patient man, but after the years of watching you prance around in little skirts and seeing the ways other guys looked at you, his patience had worn thin. And since you were too caught up in the fact that he was your brother's best friend he knew he had to be the one to take initiative. Thank god you didn’t taste the copious amount of liquor in your drink cup earlier… 

“You’re so beautiful, baby, all spread out and glassy eyed. Mmm I could just eat you up.” He sucked on the fingers that had previously been in you, both of you whining at the lewd act. “Fuck, so tasty too. Gonna have to feast on this pussy, baby.” You clenched your thighs at the thought of him eating you out, making him chuckle darkly. “Seems like my little whore wants that. Too bad, that’ll have to be on the agenda for later. I need you now.” 

He deftly undid his belt which brought your attention to the bulge in the pants. As he pushed down the fabric of both his pants and underwear you were left in shock. 

Holy shit he was HUGE 

You weren’t sure how that was supposed to fit inside you. Apparently Hongjoong could see your trepidation because he smirked and held in a laugh at your wide eyes. “I’ll make it fit sweetheart, don’t worry.” 

When he leaned down over you, caging you in, is when the severity really hit you. Your hands went to his chest as you tried to push him off but he was stronger than you, using his weight to hold you down. “Wait, Joong I-” 

“I’m done waiting. You’ve been teasing me for years, I’m not gonna let you get away with it again. Hold still.” He all but snarled at you as he lined up his tip to your weeping entrance. He ignored your further pleas for him to wait, dragging the thick tip of his member through your slick before he slowly pushed into you. 

You wailed as you felt him impale you. “NNNGGGHHH!” Your arms threw themselves over Hongjoongs shoulders and your nails embedded in his skin so harshly he knew he would have marks for days to come. 

“Holy shit, how are you so fucking tight?” He sounded so desperate already, his need getting the better of him.”You gotta relax for me babe, you might snap my dick off.” 

Thankfully he gave you a moment to adjust; he knew he was big and he truly didn’t want to hurt you. You took deep breaths and tried to relax. You could feel your walls pulsing around the thick intrusion. Hongjoong was slathering your neck with sloppy kisses in an attempt to distract you from the discomfort. It was the sweetness you craved from him and you could feel yourself loosening up. 

Soon enough your body was pliable enough for him to move. “Good girl.” He praised as he started to move, his hips gyrating to create friction that made both of you moan. You practically purred at his praise and your pelvis subconsciously bucked up into his. “Mm you like when I call you my good girl, don’t you?” He licked at the skin under your ear and nipped there. 

You nodded and tried to answer but the full feeling of him was making it hard for your brain to catch up. “Mhmm” 

He smiled against you and then fully lifted his pelvis until the tip was barely inside, then shoved himself in all at once, bottoming out in one fail swoop. Your eyes screwed shut and your legs automatically wrapped around his waist in an attempt to hold him too you. Though, your efforts were in vain and Hongjoong began to pound into you over and over. 

The glide of him inside of you was otherworldly. This was both the best experience of your life and the worst. On one hand you were so happy to have the man of your dreams here in your bed, making you feel such intense pleasure. On the other hand… 

Something felt so wrong. 

More like something about him felt wrong. The Hongjoong you knew had never been so dominating - demanding- or abrasive. It was thrilling to say the least. 

“You look so good under me, you dirty whore.” 

You whined at the name, feeling ashamed at the gush of arousal that came from you at his malicious words. “M’ your whore Joongie. Only yours.” 

There was a hiccup in his movements then he was back on beat but this time with even more force. “I like the sound of that. My whore. This pussy is alllll for me, isn’t it?” You nodded and squeezed his shoulders. “No other man will ever touch this perfect pussy ever again. I’ll ruin you enough that no one will even think about touching what’s mine.” 

“Yours! M’ yours!” 

He chuckled and let one of his hands snake down to wear your bodies met, “You are mine. And I take care of things that belong to me.” His agile fingers found your clit with ease and he started to rub the nub with quick, lively movements. 

Your back arched further, pushing your still clothed chest into his bare one. “F-fuck.” You were getting so close, your tipsy state made your high build quicker than ever before; though it could also have something to do with the exact man causing your pleasure. “Joongie..” 

The man could feel you clench down on him and he knew that was a sign you were about to cum. “Go ahead and cum for me. Let me see how fucking gorgeous you look when you cum all over my cock.” 

With his permission you let go. You cried loudly as you crashed over the precipice, your head thrown back and your thighs shaking in ecstasy. Thank god the music was still blaring downstairs or every person in this house would have heard you. 

He groaned at the sight of you trembling and crying below him and felt that he wasn’t going to be far behind. Joong leaned back on his haunches and yanked your hips up onto his lap all while never exiting your center. He wanted to feel you clench like that again; he knew it would throw him right over the edge. 

Before you even finished quivering he took his other hand that wasn’t on your clit, and shoved two of his fingers inside you along with his cock. Now you have truly never felt so damn full in your life. It was almost too much for you to handle. He also sped up the messaging on your clit, the combination sending you jolting into another orgasm. 

“HONGJOONG OH MY GOD” You screamed as the most intense orgasm you’ve ever felt hit you like a freight train. You could hear a splashing sound and a sudden flooding of wetness all over your inner thighs. 

“Holy shit, you’re fucking squirting! Fuck, that is so fucking hot.” He couldn’t hold it in any longer, with a final hard thrust that felt like it hit your cervix he finally came inside of you. His hot cum coated your inner walls- it was so hot you compared it to getting a brand. Perhaps in his own twisted way that’s what he had done. Branded you as his. 

He let himself fall back onto you as he crashed his lips into your own; both wet with drool. When he pulled away from you, you were both panting. Hongjoong wiped away the remaining tears from your face, stroking your cheeks and looking down at you with the most loving look anyone has ever given you. Your heart was melting and you leaned up and gave him another sweet peck on his lips. 

He accepted your kiss then gave you a few of his own, first on your lips then all over your face, making you giggle. 

He sighed wistfully and flopped down beside you, pulling you up into his arms. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” You hummed, curling yourself into him. “I’m so happy you're finally mine.” He pressed another kiss to your head. You both could still feel and hear the vibrations from the loud party. You vaguely wondered if anyone had any clue of the debauchery that had taken place up here. Then another quick thought ran through your head and it made your heart stop.

Hongjoong hadn’t used a condom… 

And you were not on birth control. 

Hongjoongs wandering fingers found your overly sensitive center once again and he deftly pushed the leaking cum back into you. 

“And I always treat what's mine the way they deserve. Cross my heart.”

Comments and reblogs are very much appreciated!

©doitforbangchan

[myladysapphire]

My Lady Strong (IV)

Aemond had always been protective of his neice, obssessed even, insiting on keeping her sheltered, and purley his, he never let her stray far and following the incident at Driftmark, Aemma was rarley without Aemond as her shadow. How will the kind, sheltered girl fair in the dance of dragons?

word count: 1,495

CW: bullying, feelings of neglect and isolation

Fem!oc x Aemond Targeryen can be read as x reader)

Masterlist | series masterlist | previous part | next part

disclamer:  i do not own any of claim any of the A song of ice and  fire characters, all rights belong to GRR MARTIN, all characters are his except for my OC

It had been nearly a year since the events of Driftmark. Since her mother and brothers had left to Dragonstone. A year since her fathers death. And yet she already had a new father, one she did not like, alongside his two daughters. She had also gained a new brother. But she hadn’t met him, and she doubted she would meet him soon. As each day passed the distance between Dragonstone and the red keep seemed to get bigger and bigger.

“My dear?” she heard Alicent call out, having gotten closer the last year, Alicent had become more and more of a mother to her, and being her 9th nameday and her mother and brothers nowhere to be seen, to Aemma it had began to seem like Alicent was more of a mother to her than her own. A fact little 9 year old Aemma could not stomach to admit.

“Yes?” she asked, looking up from her spot in the library. She had found her time often spent alone as of late. Aemond having become more distant since the incident. And Heleana, well was Heleana, keeping to herself, though she had become more and more isolated since her wedding to Aegon last month. And Aegon spent most of his time at the bottom of a bottle in the depths of kingslanding. So she resided in herself spending days in the library by herself, in a spot that used to be her and Aemonds to just becoming hers. And the few spare moments Aemond seemed to give her were spent training Vaghar, or watching him train with ser criston. He no longer wanted to chase after each other in the godswoods, or read in the library. Or simply just existing in each others company. She understood, somewhat, he was becoming a man, a man hell bent on learning everything in him to defend himself, to learn to fight. Everyone was growing up, but her, and she was being left behind.

“My sweet girl, what's wrong?” Alicent questioned, rounding the corner to see Aemma in what she knew to be her spot. “Hmm? You seem to spend every moment alone, and I know many girls at court who would die for a moment of time spent with you.”

“What girls? Helena only ever wants to be by herself, and seems to ignore me every time i spend time with her, and the last set of girls you summoned just whispered rumours behind my back. I don't wish to spend time with them, i just want Aemond, and he doesn't want me.”

Sighing, Alicent moved down to her level, talking her hands in hers, “that's not true, Aemond still adores you, he is, well-... he's becoming a man and needs time to grow, and after the events of driftmark, well they changed him, just give him time.

“Time? Thats all ive done, it's been almost a year, and not even a moon had passed after driftamrk has he started to ice me out. He was supposed to marry me, and yet he's completely changed!”

“He's a boy, a twelve, Trust me sweetheart, he's just a silly boy who thinks he has to do all of these things to make up for his lack of eye. He thinks you will not love him, think him to be hideous, that is why.” Alicent responded, soothing Aemma, by stroking her hair.

“Well that's just plain stupid!”

“I know,sweet girl, but all boys are.” Alicent continued “ know, we have a birthday ball and feast to attend, and my gift is waiting for you.” she said standing up and inviting Aemma up with her.

In her chambers, laid out on her bed was a white dress embellished with gold. It had puffed sleeves that slimmed down to cover her arm. The dress was lkonger than her usual dresses, and more wide, though not by much. Glod was laced around the neck line, and out edges of the dress, with gold and silver jewels scattered across it, creatijng a pattern down the bodedice. The white itself seemed to shimmer, as if moonlight was bouncing off it. When she put it on she felt pretty. She felt beautiful. Her hair was tied up with a gold ribbon, decorated with pearls and butterflies. For this she knew the gift was not Alicent but Aemonds, or atleast he had some influence. Butterflies. The thing they always used to chase, and the thing ameond loved to compare her too. Butterflies. 

The feast was magnificent, lords and ladies from all over Westeros had come, and she had received more than enough gifts and attention though not from anyone that mattered to her. 

Aemodn was there from the start, though he stuck to eating rather than actually spending any time with her. His attention seemed to be elsewhere.

“Aemond?” she questioned, trying to capture his attention “Aemond, are you enjoying the feast?” he did not reply, looking down at his plate instead, avoiding eye contact. “Aemond?” she pushed again “Aemond!? By the gods answer me!”

“Hmm?” he hummed looking up, allowing her to see the book placed in his lap.

“Gods why wojnt you talk to me?” she asked, moveing to turn to him, her eyes filling with tears, “ for the last six moons i have been acting like a stay dog trying to get your attenion, and now even at a feast helped in my honoru, you brign-” she reached forward grabbing Aemonds book “- a book. A book? To my own party, instead of talking to me. Why?”

“Aemma, please-”

“No, tell me.!”

“Gods, you're a child!” he snactehd the book from her hand, “your just a silly little girl, can't you understand that, you could not defend me, and when you had the chance to you ran off to your pathetic mother, and then come crying to me for help, whilst i have just lost an eye to your bas-” he shook his head, a look of shame fillking his face as he sees her eyes filled with tears, “gods!” he sighed, dragging a hand down his face, reaching forward “Aemma- it's been a lot lately, i have had to relearn everything, to fit with the loss of my eye, and i, look im sorry, i just snapped. But you have to understand, i cnat be a child anylonger, being your friend, and litening to your childish escapades caused me to be in this situation. Now I have to be a man, I have to stop being a child.”

“So you have to stop being my freind, to go on your silly little- your, to be a man? What does that even mean?!” she cried, “it's my nameday, can you not just be my friend for today?” she was begging,it was almost pitiful. 

Aemonds face changed, snapping form the look of shame and regret to annoyance, to cold and still, a face evewryone would soon be familiar with, “ and why would i want to do that” he sneerd, dropping her hand, and standing up, before briskly leaving the room without a single glance back. 

The rest of her night was spent alone. With Heleana leaving not shortly after Aemond, followed by Aegon muttering something about doing his husbandly duty. Alicent and her grandsire had already left an hour in, the King's health failing him, and forcing many of the lords and ladies to leave, as if their only purpose was to talk to him and not her. So she was left all by herself bar a few older cousins that she did not know. 

But the remaining hours she was forced to stay, many lordlings asked her to dance, and it turns out Alicent had already summoned some more girls to King's Landing, arranging a meeting  witht them at her own ball. Taking her mind of the event sthat had happened prior, evne if for a few hours. For a few hours she wasnt so alone, for a few hours she was just a nine year old girl celebrating her name day, celebrating with her friends. People who over the next four years would become the only people she truly had.

And when she did finally retire to her rooms, and she was well and truly alone she cried, she knew no one would knock and have late night celebrations, just as no one had knocked at midnight to wish her a happy name day. Just as Aemond did not spend every second of the day with her, smuggling her all the food she wanted, and giving her a gift for every hour of the day. She spent it alone, and she would spend the next four namedays alone, crying. She would celebrate with her ladies, though it would never be the same, she owuld dance with strangers, and not ameond, where dresses gifted by people other than her mother and Aemond. Her family would become more distant and Aemond becomes less and less her Aemond.

next part

Taglist (bold means could not tag)

My lady strong: @aemondssiut@idonotknowenglish @sydneyyyya @wondergal2001 @whitejuliana1204 @meowtastick @bellaisasleep @tinykryptonitewerewolf @sarahkimtae @winchesterfamiliebusiness @iiamthehybrid @zzz000eee @spookydaddy01 @melllinaa @ateliefloresdaprimavera @aelora-a @aleemendoza2425-blog @chittakii @gghoulzz @ryiana @duckworthbean @cynic-spirit @may-machin @Gianinaa19 @wolfiealina @unique7676 @yentroucnagol @loserwithnofriends @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @urmomsbananabread @azaleapotterblack @delaynew

Hotd: @targaryenmoony @theanxietyqueen17 @flrboyd @zillahvathek @dark-night-sky-99 @apollonshootafar

Aemond: @blossomedflowerofluv @violet-potter

[stellar-skyy]

DANCE WITH ME! - Platonic Freminet & reader

i. SUMMARY: Freminet dances with his sibling. ii. CONTENT WARNINGS: Implied sensory overload. iii. NOTES: STRICTLY PLATONIC, found family, older sibling!reader, fluff, slight hurt/comfort(?), gn!reader, they/them pronouns used, 1.5k words. iv. A/N: I really wanted to get this out because it's the last time I have time to write for like a week, so I'm sorry if it seems rushed. ;-; This is technically a continuation of my other Freminet fic, the warmth of home, set much further in the future.

Freminet stood against the furthest wall of the ballroom, holding a glass with both hands and hoping if he huddled close enough into the corner he would become one with the wallpaper itself.

Lyney was dazzling guests on the other side of the room, a luminous smile on his lips and no shortage of charm dripping from his words. A clever magic trick here, a whisper of sweet words there, and half of the party had fallen for him. Lynette stood beside him: silent, but still carrying her own unique charm. She might not be as flashy as Lyney, but she still was one the guests fawned over, for her quiet charisma and peculiar demeanour.

Freminet wasn’t originally on the guestlist of the party, only being added at the last minute as a ‘thank you’ from the hotel owner for fixing some bits of machinery within the walls of the hotel. And even then, it took Lyney convincing him to make a polite appearance to drag him away from the sea—the place he was planning on spending that night instead.

They’d arrived as a group, being greeted warmly by the host. It took about three minutes for Lyney to be swept away by a crowd of adoring fans of his performances, Lynette following close behind as she always did, and Freminet—

Freminet was left alone. 

It wasn’t as if being overlooked was a new experience for him. Lyney and Lynette thrived in the spotlight, while all Freminet did was wilt, so they were content keeping the attention away from him. It was easier that way; he could blend into the shadows and retreat back into his own mind, where there was no one to disturb him. He didn’t care about being ignored by the guests.

(He just didn’t want to be ignored by his siblings.)

Freminet clutched the glass tightly in his hands. He was still too young to drink, so when he was handed the glass of wine by a passing waiter, Lynette was quick to swoop over and swap it with a glass of water instead, before returning to her twin’s side.  

The music had gotten louder, the orchestra playing a more upbeat song than the ballad that had preceded it. It was an enjoyable sound in theory, but the sheer volume of it—combined with the overlapping chatter in the room, thick smell of wine, and bustling crowds—made it sound like they were playing their violins with knives. They scraped along the strings, a metallic screeching echoing across the ballroom.

Why didn’t anyone else look bothered by the noise? Was he the only one who could hear it?

“—eminet? Freminet?”

The voice cut through the other noise in his ears, letting his attention fall directly on the concerned look of the person in front of him. He stumbled backwards slightly—when did they get so close?

“Freminet, are you okay?” (Name) repeated, a furrow in their brow. “I’ve been calling for you and you haven’t responded.”

“I-I’m okay, it’s just…” He swallowed, looking back down at the glass of water in his hands. “…very loud.”

Their eyes widened in understanding. “Do you want to me to take you somewhere quieter?”

He nodded, shrinking back into himself. Disappearing acts were more his brother’s specialty, but he wouldn’t mind being whisked away for a while. And of course, it wasn’t polite to make his sibling escort him out of the party, but the noise was so dreadful that he couldn’t even bring himself to feel self-conscious about it.

(Name) brought him through the crowd, dodging both guests and waiters as they led him past the dancefloor, up the stairs and out a set of double doors. The two emerged onto a balcony, almost being knocked back by the biting wind.

“Here. We can stay as long as you like.” They said, sliding down against the railing to sit cross-legged on the floor. Cautiously, Freminet did the same.

“It’s much quieter here.” He muttered to himself, before addressing (Name) again. “Won’t you be missing the party?”

“It’s okay,” they said easily. “I was pretty tired myself.”

The music was still audible through to the balcony, reverberating through the walls in a muted symphony. As minutes passed, it shifted in tone from joyful melodies to a slower waltz.

Through the window they could see through to the bottom floor, where Lyney still entertaining guests. As the music changed, he looked over at Lynette with a tilt of his head. She blinked back at him and nodded slightly, taking his hand as he extended it to her. Their ability to communicate without a single word was always something that puzzled Freminet, but seeing the guest’s confused reactions made him think it was just something that only made sense to the two of them.

“What are they doing?” Freminet mumbled, watching Lyney lead Lynette to the centre of the dance floor.

“They’re going to dance together.” (Name) replied, also observing the pair. Sure enough, Lyney let go of Lynette’s hand long enough to shift it to the middle of her back, clasping their other hands together and sweeping across the floor.

“They look so elegant…”

(Name) hummed in agreement.

“I think I would have liked to dance. Not in front of everyone, though.” Freminet said quietly. (Name) was quiet for a beat, before abruptly standing up.

“I guess it’s good we’re alone out here, then.”

“Huh?” He blinked at them.

“Dance with me!” They stuck out their hand, a grin across their face.

“R-Right now?” He glanced around himself, as if there were guests loitering around the corner, ready to scoff at him at any moment. “But we’re outside, and I don’t—”

“We can still hear the music from out here,” They reasoned, not moving their hand. “It’s just me. There’s no one out here to stare at you.”

“I’m not that good.” Freminet frowned, looking back at Lyney and Lynette twirling across the floor. More guests had swarmed to the dancefloor following their lead, pairs spinning and dancing across the ballroom. The dance seemed easy enough to follow, and Lynette had run him through the basic steps of the waltz ‘in case of emergency’…

Before he could think about it too hard, Freminet had laced his fingers around his siblings and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. (Name) rested their other hand in the middle of his back, while he hesitantly placed his on top of their shoulder.

In time with the music, Freminet was pulled across the balcony in a gentle rhythm. They glided round in a gradual circle, in time to the tempo of the music echoing outside.

One, two, three. One, two, three.

On the third beat, Freminet faltered, almost stepping on (Name)’s feet before he caught himself. He ducked his head in embarrassment, watching his feet carefully to make sure he didn’t accidentally stumble.

The dance was slightly awkward with their inexperience, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. The music was faint in his ears, the crowd was a distant memory, and all he could pay attention to was how light he felt. This must be how Lyney and Lynette feel when they’re together; like he was free to let the weights slide off his shoulders and just simply exist, without worrying about the other’s judgement. He’d never have his other half like they had, but he had (Name) and that was good enough.

They let go of the hand across his back, stepping back to spin him around in a twirl. The movement made him slightly dizzy, but they were right there to grab onto him and make sure he didn’t fall. To think, his plans changed from diving into the ocean and not emerging until the early morning to dancing a waltz on a balcony with his sibling. The entire thing…

It was rather absurd, wasn’t it?

A giggle escaped his lips, then another and another until he could hardly breathe through the laughter. His sibling was staring at him like he’d gone mad, and with good reason. Freminet wasn’t one for emotion—he liked to think of himself as an impassive and cold, free from needless feelings. It wasn’t in his nature to smile often or laugh.

But (Name) soon fell into their own fit of giggles, as if catching a contagion. Their steps stumbled and faltered, until they’d collapsed against each other. Freminet looked up at them, an open smile twisting his features into something almost unrecognisable. There was a warmth spreading across his chest, akin to the exhilaration he got whenever he first dove into the water.

“Do you want to go back inside?” They asked, stepping back to lean against the railing. Freminet hesitated.

He could see through the glass that the twins had finished their dance, Lyney whispering to Lynette while scanning the room in a look Freminet knew to be the face he made whenever he was hiding how troubled he was. His eyes swept around the guests—looking for the two of them, it seemed. Logically, he knew he should go back inside to at least let them know he was okay, and hadn’t just vanished into the sea like he usually did. It would be the polite thing to do.

But he had his sibling with him. And the wind was a pleasant coldness against his cheeks.

“It’s peaceful out here.” He said quietly. “Let’s… stay a little bit longer.”

reblogs and comments are appreciated! ♡

[froggibus]

Resurrection - Wally West

Pairing: Wally West x gn! Reader, platonic! Dick Grayson x reader

Genre: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort

Word Count: 5.5k

Summary: it’s been almost a year since Wally died, and life has not been kind to you. it doesn’t help that when you get the flu and your fever spikes, you start seeing the speedster everywhere you turn

CW: loss of a loved one, grief, sickness, hallucinations, reader is worried they’re going crazy, overactive imagination, mentions of death, mentions of suicide, panic attacks, ghosts, reader was a part of Young Justice, mutual pining, friends to lovers, resurrection

This alludes heavily to the Young Justice tv show, especially Wally’s death. I apologize in advance because I have poor knowledge of the Flash Family and speedforce!!

day 1 of me pushing my Wally West agenda!! i absolutely adore Wally, and im so happy to be writing about him. this is literally the longest thing ive ever posted on this site but I got so into the story that I couldn’t stop. hopefully this makes sense and isn’t just a jumble of words 😭also i think from now on im gonna include wally in any of my dick/jason/tim hcs

also im very tempted to do a pt2/make a series of wally adapting to life afterwards

————

You groan in your bed, your fever spiking to an almost unbearable temperature. You spend a lot of time in bed nowadays—ever since your best friend died almost a year ago, you haven’t had the drive to do much. But being sick the past week has only confined you to your bed even more. 

You roll over, hoping the other half of your pillow is somehow cooler than the side you’re on now. It’s not, and your body feels like it’s going to overheat. If it was possible to put less clothing on, you would, but the chances of your roommate coming in and seeing you naked are too high. 

Speaking of your roommate, you know that when Dick comes home and sees how bad your temperature has gotten, he’ll rush you to the hospital. Paranoid, big brother Dick who insists he can’t lose another friend. Dick, who moved in with you a few months after Wally died because he was afraid you might hurt yourself. Dick, who forced you to put socks on and keep most of your clothes on because even though you feel hot, he knows you’re still vulnerable to the cold. 

The socks scratch at your ankles now and you long to pull them off, lazily dragging your feet together. You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to calm your burning nerve ends. 

As much pain as you’re in, this is the most you’ve felt since Wally died. From the day you watched him get vaporised, everything around you has just gotten duller by the day. You can hardly stomach to put on your costume, let alone look at Barry or Bart. Even seeing The Flash on the news is enough to make you sick. 

“Y/n,” a soft voice echoes from the bed next to you. 

You force your eyes open, your dark room greeting you. “Hello?”

There’s no answer, and you’re able to close your eyes again. You relax into your bedsheets, kicking the blankets off of your legs in a desperate attempt to get some relief. Clearly your fever has spiked to the point where you’re losing it. 

“Y/n!” The voice is stronger now, and it sounds more desperate than before. More than that—there’s something familiar to it. 

You open your eyes again and gasp, all of the breath leaving your body. There, sitting on the bed next to you, is Wally. His green eyes are full of concern, his mouth pulled into a tight line. 

“Oh god,” you whine, “I really am losing it.”

You squeeze your eyes shut, willing the hallucination of your dead best friend to go away. How could any god be so cruel to inflict this on you? Knowing how you felt about Wally—and what he’d said to you during your last moments together?

When you open your eyes again, he’s still sitting there. His unruly red hair is falling into his face and all you want is to reach out and brush it away. 

“You’re not losing it,” he says. 

“I’m so sick that I’m hallucinating my dead best friend. How is that not losing it?”

He shrugs. “I mean it does sound pretty crazy, but I’m here, aren’t I?”

“You’re dead,” you say simply, voice void of emotions. “You died and you left and you’re never coming back.”

“I got better.”

Everything about him screams Wally. His voice, his mannerisms, even the stupid jokes he makes. But you know it’s just your brain playing a stupid trick on you. Your braincells have overheated and you’re left staring at a ghost. 

“No, you didn’t. And you never will, Wally. And I know that so I don’t get why my stupid brain can’t leave this alone.”

He lays down on his side next to you, looking up at you with those doe eyes. “There wasn’t a body, you know.”

His words make you angry, they make you choke on the lump in your throat. But he’s right. Something about his death always seemed wrong to you, and even after this long, you still can’t accept it. He’s saying all of the right things, and it almost makes you believe he’s really here. 

“So say you are here…why now? Why here? Why am I the only one who’s seen you?”

He strokes his chin, pretending to be deep in thought. “I don’t really know, y/n. I’ve been here the whole time. I’ve watched everything. I know how hard things have been for you guys…” 

You don’t say anything, just staring at him expectantly, forcing him to keep talking. 

“I’m sorry you’re sick, but I’m glad Dick is taking care of you.”

“Answer the question, Wally. Why now?”

He sighs. “I think it’s because you’re sick. I think once your fever got past a certain point you were able to hear me, and once you could hear me, you could see me.”

“How would that even work?” You squint at him, “how did you even know I could hear you?”

“I didn’t it’s just—it’s a habit to talk to you, you know? But anyway, I think it has something to do with the speed force being attracted to the release of energy, and whenever you have a fever, you release massive amounts of it. But since yours is so high…” he gestures at himself for emphasis. 

“So as long as I stay sick, I can see you?”

“I think so.”

“Then I never want to get better,” you murmur. 

“Y/n,” he sighs, and the tone he uses makes you freeze. You’ve only ever heard him use it once before—with you on the day he died. 

The thought brings a tear to your eye, his words echoing in your ears. I love you, y/n, I always have. I’ll be back for you, okay?

When Dick gets home from work, he’s surprised to hear you talking. His first instinct is that you’re feeling better and you’re arranging to go back to work, but as he gets closer to your bedroom door, he realizes it’s not the case. 

He listens in for a bit, hearing a one sided conversation. As soon as he hears you say ‘Wally’, he’s barging through your door only to find you talking to the air. 

“Dick!” You cry out, gesturing to the empty bed next to you, “look! He’s back, he’s here. Wally’s here!”

Dick’s heart aches for you. You’re clearly unwell and in your feverish state, your mind is playing tricks on you. 

“Y/n,” Dick sighs, “I think it’s time we go to a doctor.”

He approaches your bedside slowly, trying not to startle or upset you. He knows you’re hallucinating, and he really doesn’t want to trigger anything worse to happen. 

He kneels at your bedside, just behind Wally. “Come on, we need to get you to the hospital.”

“N-no! I can’t leave Wally!”

Wally’s face crinkles up the way it always has when he feels guilty. “Y/n, I think you should go with Rob.”

“No!” You cry out, “you can’t leave me again!”

Dick gives you no warning before he’s pulling you into his arms, your feverish skin scorching his. He holds you securely, even as you cry and beg him to take you back to Wally. 

“Wally, please! Do something! Let him see you! Don’t—don’t leave me again!”

“Y/n,” Dick rubs your sweaty hair out of your face. “It’s gonna be okay. You’re really sick, and you’re hallucinating, but we’ll make you all better. I just need you to trust me.”

You take a deep breath, and then another, looking over Dick’s shoulder at the redhead sitting on your bed, giving you a sad look. He gives you a wave, “it’s okay, y/n. Everything will be okay.”

You just hope he’s right. 

—

The hospital takes an eternity to admit you, leaving you lying on Dick’s lap in the waiting room. You keep your eyes closed, hoping that if you open them Wally will be there, but you know he won’t. 

Dick strokes your hair, rubs your back, does anything he can to keep you comfortable. When a nurse finally calls your name, he helps you to your feet and half carries you down the hall. 

They leave the two of you in a small, isolated room with a bed covered in scratchy sheets. Dick helps you climb up while the nurse insists a doctor will be by shortly. 

Dick holds your hand the whole time, the skin on his palm turning sweaty from where your hand touches his. Your fever has only gone up since you left the house and you feel like you’re going to burn alive. 

Finally, a doctor comes in and she starts to run all kinds of tests on you. After a while, they insert an IV into your arm and push fluids to keep you hydrated. They give you medicine to help you drift off to sleep, your eyes fluttering shut before you realize what’s happening. 

You wake up a few hours later, Dick no longer asleep at your bedside. Your temperature has gone down, and while you still feel feverish, you’re coherent enough to know what’s going on around you. 

“—hallucinating our best friend who died almost a year ago.” Dick tried to keep his voice down but you can hear it from the hallway. 

“It’s common in extremely high fever’s to experience visual, auditory and sometimes even tactile hallucinations,” the doctor explains. “Y/n’s fever was beyond high enough to cause any number of these complications.” 

Your shoulders slump. You knew deep down that Wally wasn’t really there, that he was a hallucination, but a part of you just hoped…

“But it’s going to be alright? There’s not any permanent side effects?”

The doctor sounds tired of Dick’s questions. “No, we’re keeping y/n overnight for observation but there shouldn’t be any long term side effects.”

Dick thanks the woman and slips back into your room, stopping in his tracks past the door when he realises you’re awake. “How are you feeling?” He whispers. 

“Somewhat better,” you admit. “Not hallucinating anymore.”

He sits in the chair next to your bed and squeezes your hand. “That’s good to hear.”

“I-I’m sorry if I upset you earlier…talking about Wally and everything. I just—it seemed so real, you know? He was right there, Dick.”

“I know. You don’t need to apologize. Your mind was playing tricks on you, n/n. I know you didn’t mean any harm by it.”

You can’t help the tears that trickle down your cheeks. “I just—I miss him so much!” 

“It’s okay,” Dick leans over your bed, pulling you tightly to his chest. “I miss him too. I miss him so, so much. And if there was any chance…you know I would take it too.”

“Did I ever tell you what he said to me that day? Just before he passed?”

Dick shakes his head. 

“He said—,” your voice shakes so severely it’s hard to get the words out. “He said ‘I love you, y/n. I always have. I’ll be back for you, okay?’” 

The gears in Dick’s brain click together, and suddenly everything makes sense. It was no secret that you and Wally had been pining after each other for years. Always cuddling and fighting and loving and hating each other. Dick was close to both of you, and he of all people knew how your feelings were bubbling over. He knew how badly you wanted to be with Wally—and how badly Wally wanted to be with you.

It’s a cruel joke, he thinks. That in one day you got everything you wanted, and an hour later had it ripped away. No wonder you’d been like a zombie this year.

“Y/n…” he squeezes your hand reassuringly. 

You squeeze his hand back, and between the fever and the medicine and Dick’s skin on yours, everything in the world feels right for a minute. 

—

It takes two weeks for you to fully recover from being sick. If it weren’t for your roommate being the ultra rich adoptive son of Bruce Wayne, you probably would have had to go back to work sooner. Dick insisted that you stay home until you were fully recovered, though, offering to cover your bills for the month. 

It’s also been two weeks since you saw Wally. It’s been easy to brush it off as a fever dream, but something deep within you wants it to be something more than that. Still, you try to continue on with your day to day life, putting thoughts of the speedster as far away from you as possible. 

You pull into the Bludhaven News parking lot with ten minutes to spare. You grab your bag from the passenger seat and clip your badge to your shirt before grabbing the coffee you’d stopped for on the way. You’re determined to make today a good day. 

You settle in at your desk, smiling at the picture of you and the original Young Justice team was kids. It makes you happy, but in the most bittersweet meaning of the word. You run your fingers across the glass, stopping them at the lightning symbol on Wally’s chest. 

You’re interrupted by your boss stopping at your desk. 

“Hey, l/n, good to have you back,” she smiles, and you feel as though she really means it. “We’re having a meeting in five minutes.”

You nod, thanking her. She leaves you at your desk, letting you get organized before you have to meet them in the conference room. 

You bring your laptop and coffee and settle in at the big round table in the spinning desk chair. Other journalists, reporters and higher ups slowly file into the room, filling it up until it’s so full it feels almost hard to breathe. 

Your boss enters the room last, standing at the front in front of the tv. She welcomes you back before explaining what’s going on in current events, and what she expects everyone to report on. 

You sip your coffee, zoning out for the majority of her presentation. Every once and a while, she clicks a remote and the screen changes to a new slide. You don’t pay much attention to the tv, only glancing at it every so often. 

When the screen changes to three familiar figures, you freeze. It feels like someone dumped cold water on you, and you’re painfully aware of everything going on around you. 

The screen shows Wally, Bart and Barry on the day he died. Wally has a big grin on his face, clad in his Kid Flash suit, giving a salute to a security camera. You’re not sure how they got this picture, but a part of you wishes they didn’t. 

“—the one year anniversary since the Flash Family saved the world, and since Kid Flash bravely sacrificed himself to achieve this goal. We want to honour them for their ultimate sacrifice, and that’s why this month, we’ll be doing daily pieces on the great exploits of the family. Also—,”

Her words echo in your ears, everything feels far away from you. The only thing you can focus on is the way your heart is pounding and the way all the air is sucked out of your lungs. Wally’s face stares at you from the tv screen, and the walls close in. 

You’re on your feet in an instant. “Pardon me,” you rasp out, before almost running out of the room. 

You’re not sure where you’re going. Your head is spinning, your heart is racing, everything is fading away. You stumble your way into the bathroom, locking the door behind you before your knees buckle and you hit the floor. 

You claw at your throat, desperate for air. You squeeze your eyes shut, clenching your fists, desperate for pressure. When you open your eyes, you swear Wally is there. 

“You’re not here,” you gasp. “You’re not real.”

Wally’s green eyes are wide, staring at you with concern. “Y/n—,”

“You’re not real! You’re just some ghost—fucking haunting me for no reason at all!”

It breaks his heart to see you like this. So sad, so hurt, barely able to breathe. 

“Stop,” you choke out, “stop haunting me! Stop, stop, stop it!”

Wally hasn’t seen you have a panic attack this bad since you were kids. Curled up in a ball, gasping for air and repeating the same word over and over again. He’s desperate to help you—help you like he did back then. 

He doesn’t even register what he’s doing until he pulls you into his lap, arms tight around your waist. He keeps a hand over your heart, tracing circles over it. 

“Y/n, y/n…” He murmurs softly, “y/n, listen to me. Deep breath in, okay? Follow my example, feel my heart beating.”

You’re not sure how you can feel his arms on you, feel his heart beating against your back. You’re half convinced you’ve already fainted, and you’re laying on the bathroom floor having another fever dream. 

Still, you follow his example. You breathe in when you feel his chest rise, and breathe out when you feel his chest fall. You stay silent for a few minutes, leaning completely against Wally until you can breathe again. 

Wally rubs your hair, his other hand tracing circles on your hip bone. “How are you feeling?” He asks. 

“Better,” you admit. 

It takes a few minutes longer for either of you to register that he’s touching you. His hands are on your body and you can feel them. 

“Wally, you’re touching me.”

“I’m touching you?”

The shock is almost enough to send you back into a panic attack. Ghosts can’t touch people, neither can fever dreams. But somehow, someway, Wally West is holding you in his arms. 

—

You leave the bathroom ten minutes later, after you and Wally went back and forth on if he was really there with you or not. You insist you’re losing it, but Wally insists he’s there, and somehow when you were sick, you connected to the speed force and now you can see him. 

You head back to your desk with no intention of working, set on researching the speed force and if it’s possible to connect to it without being a speedster. Of course, Google doesn’t yield the results you hope, so you decide to go a different route. 

You pull out your phone and text Dick. 

You: do you think you could get me Barry’s number? need it for work 

Robin 1.0: I think I can manage 

You: you’re the best 

Robin 1.0: don’t you know it

It only takes a few minutes before he texts you his contact for Barry Allen. You waste no time in opening the contact and sending him a quick text. 

Of course, you don’t get to see what he responds because suddenly your boss is over your shoulder. 

“Y/n, you know what our policy is on personal devices at work. There’s too much sensitive information here.”

“I know, I know. But if I play my cards right,” your ability to think on your feet coming in handy, “I could get us an exclusive interview with the Flash.”

She lights up at that. “Okay, but remember, no pictures or recordings.”

“Sure thing,” you nod and wait for her to leave before opening up your phone and seeing that you have a new text. 

You: can I ask you a few questions on the speed force?

Barry Allen: sure thing

You: i know the speedforce is like it’s own separate thing that speedsters connect to, but is it possible for non speedsters to connect to it? 

Barry Allen: only under extenuating circumstances. not every ordinary person can just connect to it, but if you’ve been in contact with the speedforce unwittingly or if a speedster has accidentally shared particles with you it’s possible. why?

You: just…a theory im working on for work. we’re doing a piece on Flash Family to honour you guys for saving the world and I wanted to look into it more 

You: thank you

Barry Allen: do you think you’ve been in contact with a speedster recently?

You: i don’t know, if I’m being honest. 

Barry Allen: okay…keep me updated, okay? if you need anything at all, don’t hesitate to ask 

You: thanks

You frown, your conversation with Barry only making you feel more confused. How would you have had contact with a speedster or the speedforce? It’s been almost a year since you last touched Wally, and there’s no way the symptoms are only coming out now. And the speedforce—there’s no way for you to have connected with it either. 

You look up from your phone only to see Wally sitting on your desk, looking at you with amusement. “Get what you wanted?”

“Why are you still here?”

“What?” He holds his hand over his chest, feigning hurt. “You don’t want me here?”

You go to speak but realize your coworkers are giving you strange looks. You quickly put your phone up to your ear, pretending to be on a phone call. 

“Of course I want you here. I lo—miss you, okay? But it’s not possible. You shouldn’t be here.”

“But I am, y/n. And did Barry not just confirm that to you?”

You sigh. “I will admit, what Barry said does confirm my theory, and what you said while I was sick but…”

“But?”

“It shouldn’t be possible. You were vaporized, Wally. You’re dead. So even if you are here, you’re just a ghost.” 

“Ghost, schmost,” he rolls his eyes, leaning in to flick your arm. “Does that not feel real to you?”

“I don’t know, okay? Just—I need time to think. About everything.”

You don’t say it, but it lingers in the air: I need time to think about you. 

You put your phone down, indicating to the boy that you’re done talking, before returning to your job. The day goes by fast when you’re contemplating if you’re actually being haunted by the ghost of your best friend or not. 

Before you know it, you’re heading home. When you get through the door of the apartment, Dick is nowhere to be found. He must still be at work, you think. 

You kick off your shoes and set your bag on the counter before throwing yourself on your bed. You lay down for only a minute before a familiar cologne fills your scent. One you haven’t smelled in a long time. 

You don’t need to open your eyes to know that Wally is back. “What are you doing here?”

“I was hoping I could catch you changing,” you can hear the grin in his voice. 

You sit up, staring at him with wide eyes. “Wait—if you’ve been here this whole time then…?”

“Yeah,” he laughs, rubbing the back of his neck. “But I didn’t! I mean, I thought about it but…it feels wrong.” 

“More wrong than confessing your love to me and then dying?”

Both of you freeze after that, and your hand flies up to your mouth as if you can force the words back in there. 

“I—y/n…you know that if I had a choice, I would have come back to you. Right?”

You nod, “I know. It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine,” he places a hand over yours. “I wanted to come back to you. Even though you didn’t say it back, I just thought—”

“You didn’t give me a chance to say it back! You dumped all that on me and then you ran away and left, Wally! You didn’t give me the chance!”

Your outburst surprises both of you. Wally isn’t sure what to do—if he should apologize or be angry or both or neither. So he says nothing. 

“I-I think you should go, Wally. You’re only doing harm by being here. You’re dead and I need to move on and I never will if you’re just here haunting me.”

You expect him to argue or to make a joke, but the boy doesn’t do any of that. He gives you a lazy, one handed salute, like the kind he would give before speeding away as kids. 

And then he disappears. 

You feel sad and angry all at the same time. You know it’s not fair to Wally to lash out at him like that, but how is it fair for him to open up old wounds? For him to haunt you? 

When Dick gets home, he’s surprised to see you dressed in your old costume. It’s been so long since you put it on, you look almost strange to him. 

“Uh, y/n?” He asks, “not that I’m against this but, what’s up with the costume?”

“I was thinking I could go out on patrol with you tonight,” you explain. “It’s been a while. I need to blow off steam.” 

“Okay, let me get changed.”

That’s good enough for you, so you settle in at the counter and wait for Nightwing to suit up. He comes out a few minutes later, clad in the black and blue Nightwing suit. 

He looks at you seriously through his domino mask. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“If I don’t get out, I’ll go stir crazy.”

“Okay, okay,” he raises his hands in surrender. “But don’t push yourself, okay? And I’ll be there the whole time.”

“Alright, dad,” you roll your eyes. “Let’s go.”

—

Patrol goes fine. It’s just the usual robberies and gang violence, nothing that you and Nightwing can’t handle. Of course, that’s until you hear there’s a bank robbery over the scanner. 

The two of you are about to take off and head towards the bank when you hear the radio go off again. This time, it’s a jewellery store being robbed. 

“Go!” You say to Nightwing, “you get the bank, I can handle the store.”

He seems content with that answer, grappling to the nearest rooftop and heading off towards the bank. You turn and head towards the jewellery store, hoping it’s enough to take your mind off of Wally. 

You get to the store just in time to stop the robbers from shooting the owner.  You knock the gun out of one of their hands, turning to fight the other one. There’s five total, maybe six, but your vision is tunnelling and all you can focus on is the adrenaline pumping through your veins and your need for a distraction. 

You make your way through three of them, and just as you turn to fight the fourth, you hear someone yell from behind you. 

“Y/n, look out!”

You knock out the fourth and turn around, just in time to see Wally West pass through you and punch the man in the face. He hits him hard enough to send him falling to the floor.

You stare at Wally in shock. “You—you hit him!”

“Are you okay?” He’s breathing hard, chest rising and falling rapidly. 

“You saved me…” You mutter. “How did you do that?”

“I-I don’t know,” he admits, placing his hands on your shoulders. “I just didn’t want you to get hurt and then I passed through you and—”

“Dick!” You exclaim, realising you haven’t heard anything from him in a while, and that he still hasn’t returned to you. “Somethings wrong, Wal. We—I gotta go!”

Wally goes to protest, but you’re already running away. Not only are you running away, you’re running at the speed of light, yellow lightning crackling from your ankles. You don’t realize it, too focused on getting to Dick. 

You arrive at the bank to see a bunch of lackeys passed out on the floor. Nightwing is leaning on a counter, holding his hands over a bullet hole in his side. 

“Hey!” You cry out, skidding to a stop next to him. The bank smells gross, like gunpowder and..burning rubber? “Are you okay? Did you get them all?”

He clenched his jaw. “All but one. He headed North, there’s no way we’ll catch him. He’s probably out of town by now.”

“No, he’s not going to get away with this. We’re going to find him.”

And before Dick can ask, you’re tearing away from the bank, lightning in your wake. His jaw falls open at the sight. In the dark, with the speed you’re going and the lightning coming out, you almost look like Wally…

You run as fast as you can, keeping your eyes peeled for the man driving the truck of jewels. You catch up to him in no time, throwing your body weight against the truck fast enough to tip it over. 

Your veins are electrified, pure lightning in your system, better than adrenaline ever could be. You rip the man out of the truck and toss him onto the street. It only takes one hit for you to knock him out, and only a few more seconds to tie him up. 

It’s then that you realize what just happened, how fast you were going. You look down to see the soles of your shoes on fire, the thighs of your costume torn open from the fabric chafing so fast.

Something about the ruined shoes and the torn fabric makes you think of Wally, and the thought of the ghost in the bank saving your life only makes you want to run even more. Is this how he felt everytime he ran? It’s exhilarating, it only makes you want more.

You keep running, running straight up the side of a building before stopping in your tracks on the roof. How did this even happen? You look around, half expecting to see Wally there, but he’s not. 

Your legs quiver, threatening to collapse beneath you. Your feet ache from all of the running and your shoes have practically disintegrated into nothing. You know you’re done for the night, your body at its absolute limit. 

Your knees buckle, but before you can hit the ground, there’s a streak of yellow and suddenly Wally is holding you up against his chest. 

“I—what’s going on?” You ask. 

Wally holds you up with one arm, staring at his other hand. He shakes it, going fast enough to make it seem as though his hand is vibrating. 

“I don’t know,” he admits. “I—something’s changed. I can feel it.”

You hear the unmistakable sound of a grappling hook before Nightwing is landing on the roof. “Holy shit, y/n. How were you going so fast? For a second there, I thought it was—Wally?”

His face pales at the sight of the redhead, clad in his Kid Flash suit, holding you up against his body. There’s no way he’s here now, alive and well, right in front of his eyes. 

“You…you can see him?”

Dick is running across the roof in an instant, feet pushing him closer to his best friend. He jumps on both of you, arms wrapping around you both. “Wally,” he sobs into his shoulder. “How—how are you here?”

There’s another flash of lightning—red lightning—and suddenly The Flash is standing next to you guys. “I can answer that.”

Wally grins insanely wide, making sure you’re steady against Dick before jumping to hug his former mentor. 

“How did you know I was here?” He asks. 

Barry smiles, “I could feel it. In the speedforce. There was a huge amount of energy released and then for the first time in a year, I could feel you.”

“But how did that happen?” Dick interjects, before adding, “not that we’re not happy to see you.” 

Wally goes back to hugging you, wiping off the tears that have slipped from your eyes and kissing the top of your forehead. “I think y/n here somehow borrowed my speed and-and opened a portal into the speedforce.”

“I brought you back?” Your voice is so quiet it’s barely a whisper. 

“You brought me back!” He’s beaming at you. 

He wraps his arms around your waist, spinning you in a circle. He sets you down on the ground, only to tip your head back and plant a kiss to your lips. It’s intense, passionate, full of the longing he’s felt for you since you were kids. 

You wrap your arms around his shoulders, using him to keep yourself up. His body is so warm and hard under your touch, so familiar to you. You draw him closer, not even caring if Dick and Barry are standing there staring at you. 

When he finally pulls away, he flashes you the biggest smile in the world. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for that.”

“So,” Dick awkwardly says, “why don’t we take this back to our place?”

Wally grabs your hand in his, squeezing it tightly. “I think that’s a really good idea.”

[maraudersoncrack1981]

25 Days of Jegumus - Day 1 - Snowflake

☆ @noblehouseofgay ☆

I know in late but I'm trying to get my love for writing back and I thought this could be fun!! I'll try upload Day 2 soon :3 <3

TW:

•Mentions of Walburgas A+ Parenting

•May not make sense as again, this is just me trying to love writing again/get better

•Our favourite homos

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Regulus sat in the astronomy tower, scarf wrapped around his neck and gloves clinging to his hands as he watched the snow fall. Tomorrow would be the day everyone goes home for the Christmas holidays, including him. He'd be back in that same old house, with his same old family, with their same old values.

With their same old abuse.

Whilst other families will be spending Christmas cosied up by the fire, opening presents, and having fun with loved ones, he'd be going about his day like it was any other because how dare the thought of celebrating a filthy muggle holiday even cross his mind. He has and never will be aloud to celebrate Christmas.

Just as Regulus was about to start moping some more about how much he was dreading tomorrow's train ride, the door to the astronomy tower burst open, making Regulus jump and let out a small squeel, and who other than James Fleamont fucking Potter to show up at a time like this huh?

James'face lit up at the sight of him, "Reggie, hi!" he said in that dumb angelic voice of his whilst wearing that stupidly gorgeous smile that he hated.

"What do you want, Potter? im busy!" Regulus said, eyes glaring trying to scare him away.

James looked at him, smile fading into a worried frown. "Is everything okay Reg..? What happened?" James makes his way over to Regulus, his eyebrows creased as he looked down at him, taking Regulus' hands in his. Regulus took a shakey breath.

"O-Of course i am?!" He stuttered, trying to keep up a cold act. "Why would it matter to you Potter, its none of your business!" He spits, again trying to make him go away. He was starting to get emotional now.

"Not when you're so clearly upset! I know you, you're gonna pretend like nothings wrong and try to get me to leave you alone, then you're gonna be up here for the next 4 or so hours upset out of your mind. So tell me Reggie, whats wrong?" James stated, still holding Regulus' hands gently. He began to tear up. How could James know him so well?

"I dont want to go home for Christmas" He lets out in one breath. Eyes tearing up at the thought of spending another Christmas without his brother; cold, sore, and alone.

"I-I hate it there James! If one word comes out of my mouth if ive not been spoken to i get hexed! The abuse was bad when Sirius was there but ever since he left its just gotten worse! Im scared to breath to loud around them James!" He breaks down, tears now spilling out of his eyes from all the built up pain and hurt he hasnt let out for the past 3 years.

James pulled him into his chest and held him closely as Regulus wept, holding on tight. "Shhh its okay..." James comforted.

James pulled away and held Regulus' face in his hands, wipping away the tears as best he can, and James' eyes lit up with an idea.

"Come home with me." He spluttered out, Regulus' gave a shocked expression, not expecting such a proposition.

"B-But- I cant! They'll come after me James! Dont be so nieve! If they find me theyll hurt you!" Regulus panicked, how could James think of such an idea?! it would only make things worse... right?

"Think about it Reg! Christmas with Sirius! And me of course but thats besides the point... and even if they do come looking for you we wont let them take you! Trust me Reggie" James says, looking into his eyes with hope and very poorly hidden excitement. And for somr reason, he does trust him. He sniffs and lets a small smile cross his face.

"I suppose... its not the worst idea your brains came up with..." Regulas says, slightly teasing. James lets out a laugh as a huge grin plants itslef on him. Something small, white and fragile catches james' attention, his eyes slowly following it before it lands on Regulus' red cold nose.

"A snowflake..." James murmured, a look of pure adoration in his eyes looking at the smaller boy who was trying to see the snowflake before it melted.

Regulus let out a small laugh before meeting his gaze. He gave a soft smile in return.

"Thank you James"

"Its my pleasure Reggie"

[palmastrings]

Yall need to calm dafaq down about Obey me

So the fandom kinda blew up last night and we are still recovering.

Ok let's all take a deep breath everyone 😌

To start, it isn't the end of the world if the story continues from season four on the og to season five on nb. I seriously have no idea how some of yall who have been playing since the dawn of Obey Mes release haven't gotten past lesson 20 yet. I have been playing for a little more than a year now, and I have gotten my normal lessons up to 80 (Can't say the same about my hard lessons but whatever) without spending a single dime. Season four was already a year ago. It's old news.

All I can say to you all who are struggling with the game (cuz iv been there) is that it really just requires a lot of patience and dedication.

If anything, I'm glad that obey me is getting a fresh start. It will give those players left behind an opportunity to catch up without feeling overwhelmed, and players who have gotten to the end continue.

I swear to God that if I have to do one more goddamn dance battle, I'm gonna rip out my hair. The rhythm game aspect is gonna be so refreshing. This brings me up to my next point.

THIS ISNT THE END. This is really just Obey Me but updated.

Also keep in mind that while at some point it will continue from lesson 80. It's gonna have its own separate time travel plot so you arnt completely left behind if you haven't made it that far in the Og.

While I am slightly bummed we probably won't get to transfer our data, I'll live with it.

On other trivial notes

1.) The brothers being more anglic than demonic for the game isn't bad. If anything that might kinda allude to Mc corrupting them some way or another. Mc is the demon after all

2.) Bummed that Cerbrus isn't a surprise guest smh 😔

3.) Who dafaq actually spend that much money on a mobile game??? (You know who I'm talking about)

4.) Lets stop hating please the game isn't even out yet and everyone has their torches and pitchforks

I probably have more to talk about, but I can't think of it rn

[my-castles-crumbling]

hiya cas! i hope youre well 😊

so, i have some medical issues (nothing serious!! probably - im still waiting for a proper diagnosis but ive had a few appointments and tests etc and have been assured its nothing to be concerned about) and so i obviously have to go to hospital appointments sometimes for the aforementioned tests and discussions. it was scary at first (i hadnt been in a hospital since the day i was born up until this point, and i was 18 when i had my first of these appointments) but its easier now, but im still a little stressed

im not technically estranged from my family - i still live at home with both parents, and we're on decent enough terms - but we dont really have any sort of important conversations. or any personal conversations either. so i guess we're just not really close? idk. anyway, this has meant i have absolutely no idea what any of my family medical history is. i had to find out through my older sister that my father was diagnosed with diabetes four years ago (and she only found out because she worked at the pharmacy where he got his stuff from), and my eldest brother was the one who told me my grandparents' causes of death (they died before my birth and my parents never mention them), but they dont know any more than that either

this hasnt been an issue for me before, because obviously ive never needed to know. ive never been asked about it, but now that my own health isnt right, i kinda need to know. in my first appointment i got asked about it, but i told the doctor i didnt know and would ask at home

i did ask, to be fair. i spoke to my mother and explained why i needed to know but she just kind of... brushed it off? idk if thats the right way to phrase it. she said there was some vague thing about heart issues but she didnt say anything specifically, or which side of the family it came from, or anything all thay helpful at all

its so frustrating because im not the first of their kids to need this information. my sister has medical problems too (different issues than mine though) and our parents were no help with her either

i spoke to a friend about it last autumn when i first went to hospital and he looked at me so oddly, it made me feel so broken, i guess. apparently discussing medical history isnt a taboo subject in most households, because he knew all of his and he's never been to hospital for anything. but the way he looked at me like i was weird or something for not knowing was awful. again, it made me feel genuinely broken and damaged. it was kind of one of those moments where you realise 'oh, my family isnt normal' and it sucked, because i thought id had that realisation years ago

its happened with some other stuff too (i.e. telling parents about a relationship, friends, interests, spending time with family etc) and it just... it really sucks. i dont know what else there is to say than that ig lol

i was going somewhere with this ask, but ive kinda gotten off track and now i cant remember, soooo.... have a good day! thanks for reading my ramble 🥰

Hi hon!

I’m so sorry, whose moments of realization suck, truly. Please know that you did nothing wrong <3 

Because this is a health thing, I do have some advice for you (ignore me if you want!) There are forms on the internet that have questions about family history. Print one out and just give it to your mom and dad. Don’t give them room to question it. Say your doctor needs it, and you need them to fill it out.

I wonder, though, if your parents don’t share their history with you, they might not know their parents history. A lot of times, these kinds of things that happen in families are passed down. 

But yeah. Just give them a form and make it a health thing. You deserve that info. 

Again, please know that you are NOT broken, and it has nothing to do with you <3

(naming you medical anon)

[transyonic-iv]

i personally dont rlly have an incest/ageplay kink but i do find it rlly interesting that it's labelled as "a transgender kink" (often by other trans ppl on a more joking sense or in callout post/lolcow/"cancel" culture sense, but also the culture of incestual/pedophilic rape and other allegation against trans ppl who are parents/want to be parents, or the disautonomization of trans children as inappropriately sexual— the attitudes towards minors wanting to buy / adults helping provide packers/breast forms, sex toys, gendered underwear, for example. )

don't think it's inherently a transgender kink, i mean, sooooooooooo many cis ppl are into it, would be ridiculous, and I don't rlly like the idea that it's a part of "trans culture" in that every/most trans person you meet is going to be into it, often commonly joked about,

(at least that ive seen in tumblr+twitter+often 4chan/reddit but im less familiar w those. and not saying my perspective is based on a 100% factually neutral way of gathering data, of course not, but tbh im quite "chronically online" because im so isolated bc disability + my status as a sex worker + being transgender. and online kink is my job and a special interest of mine outside of that so generally i spend a lottttt of time w u all in the tags and on individual blogs maybe more than most.. but idk if that's actually true, and again. don't have perfect data on online spaces esp because tbh they have sooooooo much of it; it's hard to be cognizant of/studying everything when social media sites/apps allow basically no maximum to who can be "in a community" and more recently has gotten algorithmic + restricted rather than linear relationship to time, censorship/search inaccessibility happens so much... )

but. i do find it interesting how it issss rlly commonly talked about in a way for trans women/fems to access "sisterhood" as womanhood , or trans men/mascs to access "brotherhood" as manhood (and ageplay as a way to explore gendered forms of "childlike" desires + experiences), which is a common sentiment/relational connection made out of incest kink context within more general t4t culture as an idea of solidarity + begining transition. i personally even before considering incestplay very much or connecting the two, was never super comfortable with the idea of calling transmascs brothers or transfems sisters. the "welcome to brother/sisterhood", both from cis ppl and other trans ppl , eugh. not rlly my thing, since it's often condescending and kinda binarist, like. why perpetuate the idea of manhood and womanhood as distinct categories that should not be supported across within trans subculture, especially if it doesn't come with like, actual support for a person who's "beginning their transition" and may need a lot of it)

makes me think about how that connection is extended to "cis" (both LGB and cishet, gender conforming or nonconforming) ppl as well. using it as a reassurance about gender as well as playing w the idea of family as an inherently abusive, often violently gendered social structure. but i think that's way more commonly discussed and not something i feel i can contribute much to by talking more abt it. cis ppl look for gender validation in sex just as much as a trans person might,

tbh, often "chasers" are motivated by that. not always purposefully looking for an opportunity to abuse trans ppl, but interested in trans ppl not only because trans ppl aren't inherently incompatible w cis ppl unlike popular transphobic narratives, but also specifically because the structure of transness offers different avenues of (both "validating" or "invalidating" in out-of-kink identity labels. praise + degradation kink is a huge part of genderplay very often) exploration of genderplay. most commonly discussed in regard to cismale "sissy"/"femboy"/ "forcefem" and its relationship w transfemininity, but also in cisfemale bimbo kink, "himbo"/musclejock cismale gay/autoerotic muscle fetishism, "tomboy" chasing, and big dick fetishism /small dick humiliation (and less commonly seen fetishism of bigger clits, or praise-focused narratives around smaller dicks) all forms of orientation play: "dykebreaking" / "straight forced gay" / fantasies about submitting to or being tempted by straight man or straight woman within gaymale/lesbian spaces, or even in nerd/gamer chaser spaces sometimes, both exploring gender identity but also sexuality. more ppl are more bisexual than they realize , the bi / monosexual binary is still heavily enforced, and trans ppl often are an avenue for cis ppl in exploring that, often in a misgendering or otherwise transphobic objectifying way ie:girlpenis or boyvulva/tits chasing, but not always.

[lesbicosmos]

happy first day of @chrisginnyweek !!!!

day 1 prompt: colours

my interpretation: makeup. this is entirely based on That One lesbian photo on pinterest

summary: ginny wants her makeup done for the play but can't seem to get it right on her own, so chris does it for her

this is also on ao3 if you wanna read it over there :))

ive got some colour back, she thinks so too

It was their weekly sleepover at Chris’s house, a time both of them treasured over almost every other time, especially since their friendship developed into something more. They’d been spending even more time together since Chris and Chet had broken up a few months ago, and Chris seemed so much happier. She’d originally felt bad that she’d been more focused on Ginny’s brother than her for so long, but she ensured Ginny it was nothing to do with her, she had just felt like she couldn’t fully be herself with Chet like she was with Ginny, and it was rare that she was at Ginny’s place not to see him.

Then the breakup had happened, then the confession to Ginny. And now, Chris was lying with her head in her girlfriend’s lap, Ginny gently stroking her blonde hair, which seemed even brighter than usual in the glow of the beginnings of sunset.

“Chris, can I ask you something?” Ginny asked, breaking the comfortable silence the two of them had created.

“Yeah, Gin?” Chris replied, looking up at her.

“So you know how I’ve got a dress rehearsal for the play tomorrow?”

Chris nodded. Ginny had gotten the part of Hermia in her school’s production of A Midsummer Night’s Dream, and she’d been ecstatic about it for weeks.

“Well I was thinking, I want to try and do some makeup to match my costume. I’ve been trying to do it for a few days now, but I just can’t get it to look any good,” she said sadly.

“You want me to do your makeup for you?”

“Would you?”

“Of course!”

Chris jumped up from Ginny’s lap, almost scaring her with how fast she moved.

“Your costume’s pink isn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“I have the perfect eyeshadow, hold on.”

Chris raced over to her dresser, opening a drawer, and rummaged through it for a few seconds before pulling out a small golden pallete. Then, she leaned over to the hand-painted pots on her dresser and took two differently sized brushes.

“Where should I sit?” Ginny asked.

“Right there on the bed will be fine.”

Chris returned to the bed, sitting beside Ginny.

“This is probably the most gorgeous eyeshadow I own,” Chris remarked proudly, opening up the golden lid to reveal several small circles filled with compacted powder, all in different shades of pinks and oranges. Fitting, Ginny thought. It perfectly matched the sunset just outside the window.

Chris took a few minutes of silent contemplation, deciding exactly what she was going to do with her girlfriend’s eyes. Ginny was becoming overwhelmed by the way Chris was looking at her…so intense but so loving.

“Okay, I have an idea,” Chris said at last, looking away from Ginny to instead look at the palette in her hand

“Sorry, before you start, can I kiss you?”

That got Chris to look up at her again, slightly confused but completely welcoming the suggestion, she nodded, and Ginny crashed their lips together. It was short, but passionate.

“Sorry, just…the way you were looking at me then, I couldn’t not.”

Chris laughed softly, then took one of the makeup brushes and dipped it into one of the light orange eyeshadows, picking up the pigment.

“Close your eyes for me?”

Ginny closed her eyes as Chris gently took her chin in her hands. She couldn’t help the soft giggle that escaped her throat as the brush touched her eyelid.

“God, you’re so ticklish,” Chris said playfully, trying to get her brush in the place on Ginny’s lids that she had mentally planned.

Suddenly, Ginny felt the absence of the brush touching her skin, and she hesitantly opened them.

“You alright?”

“Yeah, just…the lighting isn’t great. I can’t fully see what I’m doing.”

“Oh.”

“I have an idea, though. Lie down.”

Ginny was confused as to how lying down on the bed would solve the lighting problem, but she did so nonetheless, expecting Chris to simply move closer to her to do her makeup like that. Chris, however, had other ideas. She stood up, then climbed up onto the bed so that her legs were either side of Ginny’s waist, straddling her. Ginny’s breath hitched.

“Is this alright? If it’s not I can-“

“No, it’s fine. More than fine,” Ginny replied, smiling up at Chris in what could only be awe.

Chris leaned down so that her face and Ginny’s were only inches apart, pallet in one hand and brush in the other, staying stable with only her core strength.

Ginny felt the brush on her eyelid once more and seemed to zone out from reality, relaxing under Chris’s gentle touch as she painted the gorgeous summery colours onto her eyes.

After a few minutes, Ginny felt Chris shift and she opened her eyes.

“You’re all done,” Chris said sweetly, looking down at her work.

She leaned over to her bedside table and grabbed a small compact mirror that sat beside her lamp.

“Here,” she said, handing it to Ginny.

Ginny carefully opened the small pink mirror, looking at her reflection.

The makeup was done beautifully. Orange in the inner corners of her eyelids perfectly blended into pink on the outside. The colours were perfect, subtle: not too bright that it seemed glaringly obvious she was wearing makeup, but just pigmented enough to be picked up by the stage lights tomorrow.

“Holt shit…Chris, I love it. I love it so much, it’s so pretty!”

“You’re so pretty.”

Ginny could feel her heart skip a beat at the compliment.

“Those are absolutely your colours. They really bring out your eyes. And your eyes are gorgeous anyway.”

“My colours? Have you seen those colours on you? You look like an actual angel, like all of the time."

Ginny slowly sat up from the position she was originally in, Chris not moving from on top of her so by the time Ginny was upright, her girlfriend was straddling her lap instead. She could see how Chris visibly blushed from her statement, her cheeks growing slightly pinker. She looked beautiful. See! Ginny thought. Pink! It’s your colour! She silently made a promise to herself to make Chris blush more often, just to see that soft colour rise in her cheeks that suited her so well.

“Okay, one thing,” Ginny said, lifting the mirror to her face once again.

“Yeah?” replied Chris, seeming to become more fidgety, as if nervous Ginny was going to say something was wrong.

“I’m not entirely convinced the ‘lighting’ was a problem, y’know.”

Chris relaxed, a playful grin growing on her face in place of the subtle worry.

“Are you complaining?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Absolutely not,” Ginny sighed in response, taking Chris’s face in her hands and pulling her in for a kiss, this one longer and deeper than before, their hands quickly coming up to tangle in each other’s hair.

Chris’s cheeks were pink again already.

[gurokichi]

Hehe, no need to apologize for getting excited! I love being your Doll and am so happy to see how excited you got when I called you my bon <3

All of the inverts take care of themselves most of the time, other than making sure they have enough food and water; And we've almost always had cats and dogs so it would be more of a chore to not take care of them! The chickens are the ones that feel out of the way in my daily life, but they are great, so I don't mind!

Most people think the feeling of someone watching them is unsettling; but when I know it's just you, it's so nice and cozy!

Bon really knows how to fluster it's Doll (⁄ ⁄>⁄ ⁄ ⁄ ⁄<⁄ ⁄)

You enjoy such a variety of games! Doll also love loves pixel art, so pretty! I've always been interested in Stardew Valley because of the graphics, I'm honestly happy I haven't gotten it already after hearing about Fields of Mistria!!! It looks so pretty! Doll wouldn't be able to keep up playing so many different games at once, how does Bon do it!!! That issue with steam sounds so annoying,,, I used to share a Spotify account with a friend and it'd do the same!!! Ooo, I've watched see my brothers play red dead redemption 2 before, usually I don't like games like that but I've actually been quite interested in it, I may give red dead 2 a try one day! Doll would probably accidentally abuse their horse too, Doll doesn't game much so wouldn't be used to the controls (╥﹏╥)

Recently ive played Minecraft, Sims 4, fallguys, and a few games on roblox if I play with friends,,, but I also a few on my list to play once I get a computer, which should hopefully be soon ^^ league of legends, stardew valley, and now Fields of Mistria, sweet pool, slow damage, and I'm sure I'm forgetting some-

Sorry this response has taken so so long!!! Doll keeps on getting busy, I hate it I just wanna spend time with My Bon~

-Your Dolly 🎀💕

You really love being my doll? Yay!!◝(ᵔᗜᵔ)◜ I'm glad that I can make you happy, my doll deserves to be.

Ah, that's really cool!! How come you keep so many different animals? I wish I could have a pet, but the others who live here are very against having anything besides people living in the house. I once got close to convincing them to let me keep rats, though. Did not happen in the end </3

Stardew Valley is definitely worth a try, even if you get Fields of Mistria. It has a lot more content, and if you get it on PC, there are tons of mods that you can use to add even more content and make it look the way you want it to! As for me playing so many games, I have a lot of free time on my hands. I don't have much else to do... most of my time is just spent waiting for someone to come talk to me. Everyone else is busy with their own things, so I gotta kill time somehow while waiting for them. I find RDR2 interesting so far; it's definitely not something I'd usually play either. Someone I know seems to really like it, and I also used to watch my brothers play, so I decided to finally pick it up. Ehehe, I'm sure you'd get the hang of it eventually!! The controls are pretty confusing, though..

Ah, I've played all of those before! What do you enjoy doing in Minecraft and the Sims? What games do you like playing on Roblox? I hope that you're able to get a computer soon to play all the games that you want to play!! I've heard of LoL but never played it myself. You'll have to let me know if it's fun. I only know of Slow Damage after looking through your blog, but not what it's about. I've never heard of Sweet Pool. What are those two games?

That's totally okay, Dolly. No need to apologize; I understand you might be busy, and I don't mind waiting. It's not like I'm going anywhere, so take all the time you need to reply!! (≧◡≦) ♡

[thescribblings]

Question; if this's your future leo after war what about the rest of his brothers? Are they dead? Alive? And what are they doing?

Ooo, you're asking the big plot related questions 👀

I haven't gotten into this part of my AU yet due to, well, not being able to properly tell the story. But since you asked so nicely :]

LORE INFODUMP TIME!

(Seriously this got out of hand so fast-)

Here's a bit copied and pasted from my personal notes

*ninpo, he's more practiced than leo due to his portals vanishing at age 20-30, he doesn't need his nagamaki to portal anymore, and is very skilled with his portals all in all.

-can create countless tiny apple sized portals as long as he has enough focus to plan the trajectory of the apple, he can do tricks like that with little difficulty, and loves using it in battle

-he can phase his body between reality and the portal dimension, letting him pass through physical objects, and people

-he can summon his nagamaki, but he can also summon Leo's swords, depends what mental state he's in, along with which is closer. Same goes for teleporting to his, or Leo's weapon

-

*his inability to portal wasn't due to having lost his ninpo, per se, he had just used it up, kinda like being burnt out, but on a whole nother level

-his ninpo vanished due to his body using it as a life source, keeping him alive, at the very least. It did have severe side effects, his ninpo making up for skipped meals, dehydration, lost sleep and more.

-ninpo side effects consisted of being severely underweight from his habit to skip meal after meal, his scales dry and dull from his lack of water, and a constant wear and tear on his body from the lack of sleep for nights on end. When he'd finally crash due to his energy literally running out, he'd collapse on the spot, passing out and finally getting some well deserved sleep

-after appearing in the past, his body was so used to its survival tactics that he couldn't sleep, despite the undeniable safety. he couldn't eat without a trashcan in arms reach, and after his third time violently upchucking his food he avoided eating entirely, having to get iv fluids and a feeding tube with the lightest nutritional liquid they could manage, instead. He did still drink water, after marveling at how clean it was

-to combat the previous point, they slowly started introducing foods easy on the stomach more and more, eventually deciding to have him snack throughout the day instead of full meals. To help with his sleep issues, they tried giving him a small dose of a drug to knock him out, he didn't like it but it worked for the most part, casey would often spend the night in the medbay with him as a comfort for them both.

*His brothers, after meditating and talking with karai for the first time since his portals vanished, he saw three pairs of eyes staring into his, across from him. his brothers signature colours were swirling around him. He then passed out, and the colours shot out in a multicolored shockwave of sorts, wrecking his surroundings. his recovered ninpo completely drained from his body in mere seconds. In this scenario his ninpo had been drained despite his brothers ninpo having fused with his own, this however means that when he recovers his ninpo, it's as strong as the four of them combined, along with being multicolored from then on.

-he wasn't aware of what happened, afterwards, not remembering the encounter with his brothers

-his ninpo started recovering four times as fast, which wasn't a lot, but it was an improvement

-the stronger his ninpo got, the more his brothers could interract with the world. They were completely invisible, and not really there physically for the first few weeks, but as their ninpo grew, they started doing things around the lair, Akari (donatello) going into his counterparts technology, leaving notes on how to fix coding, improve tech. Michaelangelo helping everyone out with aches, illness, bad moods etc, giving them a mental and physical boost. Raphael protecting them by redirecting projectiles, acting as a shield if necessary, and even helping them find things they misplaced.

-eventually his brothers are visible to mikey, but the transition from invisible to visible was freaky, seeing glimpses of eyes, tall silhouettes around corners, feeling watched, the horror movie experience. Unlike mikey, the others needed to activate their ninpo to be able to see his brothers, but the latter are always capable of physically interracting with the world

-later on donnie and Akari work together to create cloaking brooch esque pendants that let his brothers be visible to the naked eye

-his brothers can still use their ninpo seperately, but they're usually careful, as they could easily drain nardo if it got out of hand

Here's just a bit of clarifying info ig?

Orions brothers are dead, they're tethered to him, in a way, but they're not stuck to him. The further away from him they are the less of their ninpo he has access to, it causes them no harm to wander around and he encourages them to live their lives the way they want to, and not just stick around him because them leaving affects him, it just so happens to be that they want to be around their brother, their family.

Like i said, it causes them no harm to wander, including Orion. Physically, at least (more on that later). Ori is just fine with just his own ninpo, he's still as powerful as he needs to be to protect himself and those he loves,

Their fused ninpo works kinda like a tracker, if Ori were to lose his brothers he could search until he felt more of their ninpo, and then follow that until he finds them, so on and so forth.

when they're all together, everyone can feel the others ninpo, Ori is just the vessel when they're together. This does however mean that one of, or all of Orions brothers could accidentally drain all of their ninpo, so they usually stay out of petty fights and let Ori handle them, but if there's something that needs a bit more teamwork? You'll get to see what they can *really* do when they fight as a unit

If their ninpo were to be completely drained, Orion would pass out and his brothers would fade and be put into a foggy dreamlike state, they won't be solid or visible anymore until their ninpo recovers. By the time he wakes up again he'll be exhausted, dizzy, and suffering from a horrible migraine.

This dreamlike state is how they first came to be in the present, after he spoke with karai and triggered the explosive reaction in the training room, The little bit of ninpo he'd recovered was completely drained. Which led to him collapsing on the spot and waking up a few minutes later, dizzy and with the worst migraine he'd ever experienced. After this, his ninpo recovered four times faster than before, but he wasn't aware that his brothers were with him again

As his ninpo recovered, his brothers became more tangible and aware, their perception growing clearer by the day. Eventually they started kinda haunting their family, in their own unique ways

Aaaand here's a whole set of notes on Orion and facts under the cut :p

(All words btw, it is split up a bit and i think i made it okay to read?)

*specifics

-weight, 230 kg

-height, 7'4, 223cm

-age, 40

-calorie intake, 6377, eats 1600cal meals, usually getting the last 1500 through snacking

*Will throw out food (especially meat) the day after it expires, the smell of rotted meat is too reminiscent of krang/sickness. Any and all leftovers are eaten within days most times, often not more than two as he has nothing against eating the same food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner

*often very resourceful, knows survival tactics and avoids wasting food (the previous point being an exception), is usually a very efficient meal planner, he's an omnivore, but he likes to lean more towards a carnivorous, protein rich and high fat diet. occasional keto meals

-any type of meat, often favoring red meats

-most fruits, berries, favorite is peach (sliced)

-any and all nuts, common snack, but he does also like incorporating them in meals

-vegetable enthusiast, loves trying different combinations and adding them in smoothies and the like

-has a sweet tooth, usually satisfies it with fruits, rather than candy and the such, although he does eat the occasional pastry, in moderation

-He avoids overly sugary foods, as they affect his more feral state, making him jittery, paranoid, and anxious, similar to being overcaffeinated

*basically immune to spice due to tastebuds being obliterated by the atrocious sensations he had to put them through

-figured this out when he had no issues eating one of mikey's extra spicy meals, leo tried a bite and struggled with the sheer amount of spice mikey had crammed in there

-it's a 'can handle spice' scenario, rather than a 'can't feel spice' scenario, find something outrageously spicy and he'll still have the typical 'ate something too spicy' reaction; reclined, fanning face, sweaty, flushed, panting with a slight grin, the masochist.

-he likes spicy food, since it scratches a masochism itch in his brain, though he rarely goes over his spice tolerance

*coffee enthusiast, his energy levels are on an all time low, so he can rely on the stimulant a bit much. Around five cups on bad days, though he tries to limit himself to max three, most days

*stress stims

-clicking in back of throat, very common one, usually represses it

-scratching at self, pants, furniture

-rubbing prosthetic thigh, often when phantom pains flare up

-compulsive hissing, uncommon, usually if he feels threatened, rather than stressed

-bursts of growling, more common than hissing, usually used as a "back off" sound, also if he feels threatened

-fiddling with clothes, nearby object, bracelet, nearby person

*sometimes, to comfort someone he'll start humming very quietly, not to be heard, but felt. The vibrations of his voice a comforting sensation to his family

-he started doing this in a desperate attempt to quiet casey down as a kid, when they couldn't afford to make noise, then it stuck

*has his occasional 'off day' where his feral tendencies are greatly exaggerated, memories of off days tend to be foggy. Easy to trigger episodes during off days

*despite his over all lack of energy, he loves exercise and is borderline a workaholic at times, the others having stepped in on numerous occasions when he starts getting too close to 'won't be able to walk tomorrow' territory.

-his favorite thing is running, will often go on early morning, late night, midnight, mid day runs, sometimes multiple a day, but usually just his daily ones

-enjoys the peacefulness of yoga, flexibility training, compared to his other interests

-weight lifting multiple times a week

*ninpo, he's more practiced than leo due to his portals vanishing at age 20-30, he doesn't need his nagamaki to portal anymore, and is very skilled with his portals all in all.

-can create countless tiny apple sized portals as long as he has enough focus to plan the trajectory of the apple, he can do tricks like that with little difficulty, and loves using it in battle

-he can phase his body between reality and the portal dimension, letting him pass through physical objects, and people

-he can summon his nagamaki, but he can also summon Leo's swords, depends what mental state he's in, along with which is closer. Same goes for teleporting to his, or Leo's weapon

-

*his inability to portal wasn't due to having lost his ninpo, per se, he had just used it up, kinda like being burnt out, but on a whole nother level

-his ninpo vanished due to his body using it as a life source, keeping him alive, at the very least. It did have severe side effects, his ninpo making up for skipped meals, dehydration, lost sleep and more.

-ninpo side effects consisted of being severely underweight from his habit to skip meal after meal, his scales dry and dull from his lack of water, and a constant wear and tear on his body from the lack of sleep for nights on end. When he'd finally crash due to his energy literally running out, he'd collapse on the spot, passing out and finally getting some well deserved sleep

-after appearing in the past, his body was so used to its survival tactics that he couldn't sleep, despite the undeniable safety. he couldn't eat without a trashcan in arms reach, and after his third time violently upchucking his food he avoided eating entirely, having to get iv fluids and a feeding tube with the lightest nutritional liquid they could manage, instead. He did still drink water, after marveling at how clean it was

-to combat the previous point, they slowly started introducing foods easy on the stomach more and more, eventually deciding to have him snack throughout the day instead of full meals. To help with his sleep issues, they tried giving him a small dose of a drug to knock him out, he didn't like it but it worked for the most part, casey would often spend the night in the medbay with him as a comfort for them both.

*His brothers, after meditating and talking with karai for the first time since his portals vanished, he saw three pairs of eyes staring into his, across from him. his brothers signature colours were swirling around him. He then passed out, and the colours shot out in a multicolored shockwave of sorts, wrecking his surroundings. his recovered ninpo completely drained from his body in mere seconds. In this scenario his ninpo had been drained despite his brothers ninpo having fused with his own, this however means that when he recovers his ninpo, it's as strong as the four of them combined, along with being multicolored from then on.

-he wasn't aware of what happened, afterwards, not remembering the encounter with his brothers

-his ninpo started recovering four times as fast, which wasn't a lot, but it was an improvement

-the stronger his ninpo got, the more his brothers could interract with the world. They were completely invisible, and not really there physically for the first few weeks, but as their ninpo grew, they started doing things around the lair, Akari (donatello) going into his counterparts technology, leaving notes on how to fix coding, improve tech. Michaelangelo helping everyone out with aches, illness, bad moods etc, giving them a mental and physical boost. Raphael protecting them by redirecting projectiles, acting as a shield if necessary, and even helping them find things they misplaced.

-eventually his brothers are visible to mikey, but the transition from invisible to visible was freaky, seeing glimpses of eyes, tall silhouettes around corners, feeling watched, the horror movie experience. Unlike mikey, the others needed to activate their ninpo to be able to see his brothers, but the latter are always capable of physically interracting with the world

-later on donnie and Akari work together to create cloaking brooch esque pendants that let his brothers be visible to the naked eye

-his brothers can still use their ninpo seperately, but they're usually careful, as they could easily drain nardo if it got out of hand

*protective over his leg port, when his prosthetics are detached

-often growls if someone comes to close, bites if you're unlucky

-only lets leo touch it without arguement, even his donnie always got growling during check-ups

-rarely goes without a prosthetic, if his leg is gone he'll use the built in spare, reminiscent of an endo skeleton

*The colour pink is traumatic, for obvious reasons, will trigger episodes, but he comes back quick when the colour is out of sight again. Not without agressive hissing, growling, and possibly pouncing if you're unlucky. If you're very unlucky he might go straight for the 5'7 nagamaki blade that he can summon on demand

-donnie designs contact lenses that cancel out the colour pink, until the exposure therapy pays off

*Recurring flashback dream, vividly relives sister krang torturing him as slowly as she can, slowly snapping his arm off before tossing it to some krang hounds as a treat, but mainly carving off most of his thigh, cutting into his femur from hip to a bit below the knee, before reaching into his leg and excruciatingly, slowly twisting the bone out of its socket, doing the same to his knee joint. Then ripping the last bits of flesh keeping his leg even remotely attached before holding up the femur as if in amusement (cue his screaming)

*dissociates quite often, can be completely gone, or barely there at times, other times he's just a bit out of it

*michaelangelo helped him teach his brain to wake up to certain triggers due to their special circumstances, words, patterns, etc

-krang

*when a panic attack is triggered he will flee, running as far away as possible (kilometers) before hiding somewhere quiet, dark, and secluded. Tends to scratch at neck, thigh, nape etc as a form of unintended self harm, the pain helping him stay somewhat grounded

-this can result in deep gashes from his nails, but due to his healing factor, they heal within days, and rarely ever leave a scar. If there is a scar it's usually barely noticable

-

-

*when an anxiety attack is triggered he'll likely dissociate, along with a lot of stress stimming

*neat freak due to being forced to live in filth for two decades, keeps the lair spotless, always does chores in time, daily showers at least, just feels most at home when everything is tidy and genuinely enjoys the process of cleaning

[gerhinehart19]

I fucking hate when nureotypical people talk about how autistic people are all geniuses and how they have this one special interest that they excel in and thats what there career is but man, if only they were more social. I fucking hate it. We do not have to be a genuis for it to be okay that we are autistic. Us going out and doing something amazing with our "specialized feild" is not the price we pay to live in this society as autistic people. I hate the over generalizing of all autistic people. Genius, but socially inept. I hate it. Both my fiance and I have autism. And neither of us are geniuses. We have interest and hobbies, but no more than any other person. I'm smart, but no genius and my fiance is more street smart than anything. I don't understand social cues, or non verbal cues, or most verbal cues, I say things that are inappropriate for the conversation, but I've still been able to keep jobs that involve people, becuase all I have to do is be friendly. I've never found people who has held me not saying the right thing or understanding something against me. Ive also gotten more better throught time at being able to communicate myself better. And my fiance is even better at social situations. He says the wrong things also, his words come out the opposite of what he means to say, he misunderstands tones, but he also can be friends with any person he's just met. He had probably 50 friends. He doesnt have some genuis hobby that will change the word. He likes cars, yeah, but he doesnt know everything about them, theyre just a hobby. And I don't do anything smart. I like to paint and to write, but I don't spend every waking moment doing it. Yeah, we hyperfocus but it's not like nuerotrypicals think it is. I'm not saying there isn't the genuis, but socially inept autistic person out there, my brother is. He's a genuis, he loves science, he cant be around people becuase of just how socially inept he is. But he shouldn't be the expectation. Every autistic person is different, just like how every person is different. It doesn't sound like a harmful stereotype, but it is. I've had people tell me that I can't be autistic becuase I can hold a basic conversation and cause I'm not genuis about one thing in particular. I've been told that my brother is the "real" autistic person out of the two of us, cause he fits the stereotype more. It also leads up to so much expectation from autistic children. I would just really like this shit to stop.

And this shit here is exactly what I'm talking about: my dad talking about my brother that I previously mentioned. Becuase some (my brother) fit that very narrow scope of view, obviously all of them do. I hate it.

[fraener]

11/18/24

starting to find the right edge again in trances. theres a new practitioner in town who has just opened a shop in a triangle with mine and the apothecary down the street, strange happenstances. shes a magician who does the old rich white british guy type magic though, alchemy and so on. i feel so much more connected to the pauper's folk charms than all that stuff. i did pick up a book from her though about astragali, shes got a wonderful library. more of c.b.'s perfumes and another spindleful of wool. another fight with h about the fact that he no longer conceptualizes our relationship as a partnership on some deep level, and how it has become entirely a give and take as separate entities ordeal. he just "didnt think to tell me" i had been directly and formally invited to his brothers engagement party, or that he only rsvp'd for himself without saying a thing to me or his brother, because he had already decided he wanted to go alone. i really dont think that was actually the case, i think hes gotten very good at lying to himself and others and he loves playing up being thoughtless and careless. thinking now about s telling me a while back that everything clicked for him when he started thinking about things with him an b in terms of 'together' rather than 'me and you'. i did a little clearing up here and there and changed the sheets. first day off in a week and a half for me today. by some miracle ive so far avoided getting sick despite working a lot and going to eeme and class. i spend so little time at home i feel like, and when i do im often exhausted. i want that to change. i feel sort of trodden down. i had a good time with h last week on the beach in the leaping tide and seeing p&s's play with e and her friends from abroad. the ensemble event at the bookstore was charming, stepping in and out of the thick, freezing fog and big full moonlight was charming. the sweet boy upstairs who brought me a warm drink was charming. r.r. calling me again after so long was charming. i was thinking about ian again around 4 this morning, tossing and turning. i was thinking about the nature of the sickness we cast on one another, his terror and my terror. i wont reach out to him this spring, i dont think. i dont believe at all that hell write to me. have lost a lot of faith, i suppose, in the trumpet player as well. there just isnt any room in his life for me unless i were to take up very little space. i am on the hunt for somewhere i can take up a lot of space. i like the clear bit of floor next to my bed, i want to feel cleared. i want to spend so much less time thinking about what ails and instead dive into my work, musically and magically. i think ill go for a walk in the brief snatch of sun here and set to it. every day feels like a week long and yet time is passing very quick.

its later in the day and id like to say ive been seeing this with strange and removed clarity lately, the type i get when i start to get the hang of something right before everything changes again. i feel oddly stable and so im a bit curious and worried for whats going to come.

[happy-tori-friends]

How about a protective prompt with Splendont and the twins? Pick whichever quote draws you in the most

when i have to make decisions i crumble under pressure so naturally i grabbed all the dialogue prompts that i think fit, gave 'em a number, and used my good pal dicebot.

...of course then i get conflicted. 'do i really want to do this one?' indecision is a plague and it runs in my family. so to wheel decide i went.

it didn't help.

eventually i decided on... “  look at me. you’re gonna be okay.  ” usually for quote prompts (ironically save for the 1st one i did) the pov character is usually the one saying the thing but i decided to do something different bc i have a lot of dont povs already.

uh. content warning for. violence. yeah. they survived the eggs they should be fine. this got long because favoritism and also ive wanted to write something like this for a while.

It wasn't… good to be out in their part of town late at night. He and Lifty knew this fully well, but sometimes it didn't stop them from doing so. Maybe just a hankering to do something other than stew in the insomnia, or lingering outside after a heist actually went right for once.

Today was the former - Shifty was feeling restless and Lifty had gotten fed up with whatever he had been doing, and so they slipped out of the apartment. A short walk, just to stretch their legs. Avoid alleyways and the like, head to the gas station down the street, maybe snag something there, and then head back. Most of the time, it was really that simple.

This was not most of the time.

“If Splendont found out about us doing this, how much do you think he'd scold us?” Shifty hummed, reaching for his brother's hand so as to not get separated in the darkness.

“Maybe he'd stay over more, or let us stay over more…” Lifty murmured in response, taking the hand. “Probably a pretty stern scolding though, so I'm not sure I want to test the chances, even if I want to spend more-!” Lifty suddenly gasped, grip tightening on his brother's hand.

“What?” Shifty turned to look at him, only to see hands reaching out from around a corner tugging on Lifty's tail. His own lashed, ears perking up as he prepared to grab the younger and pull him away, only for Lifty to let go and be tugged around the corner.

Shifty hissed, running after them, only to have his wrist roughly grabbed. He tried to pull away, but the grip tightened and he was dragged further into the alley alongside, despite his attempts to break free.

…They both knew fully well they were not the worst of the shady people in this part of town. They knew that under the cover of darkness, the far more wicked types would begin to stalk, looking for easy prey. And they knew that they fell into that category for those far stronger, more successful than they were.

“Fuck!” he shouted as they were slammed against the wall, trying to take the split second they were free to grab Lifty and run away. But before he could, their assailant pressed a fut to his abdomen and he wheezed, falling down to his knees.

And despite his fighting against it, his legs and hands were bound, and so were his brother's.

“Let's see if you were smart enough to change that hero's contact name in your phone,” their attacker purred, grabbing Lifty's phone. Shifty took in a sharp breath, because he knew that his name in Lifty's contacts was simply his name.

But…

“Are you stupid or something?” he snarled out despite everything. “You're gonna contact him? For what? Ransom? Don't you know what he could do to you?”

Crimson eyes, not warm like their boyfriend's but cold and calculated, stared at him for a moment. “You're both smart and stupid at the same time. I want that hero to stop bothering me and my associates. You just so happened to pass by and say his name as if you knew him personally, talk like he cared about you personally. And it looks like I inferred correctly!” She twirled a lock of jet black hair around her finger before grinning. “Smile for the camera! And be careful, I turned the flash on.”

Shifty's jaw clenched and he struggled against his bindings. “Bitch! Like hell I'll smile for your fucking picture!”

“Shifty,” Lifty murmured softly, not looking at him, looking at the bindings around his feet. “Don't… don't do that. She'll just…”

The both recoiled as the camera on Lifty's phone shuttered, the flash going off. The woman spent a few more moments typing before she called out. “Two of you! Come out here. Bring the knife. Grab the one with the hat. He has a sharp tongue…”

Footsteps drew near, and Shifty growled as someone kneeled next to him, grabbing his chin and forcing his mouth open. He could hear Lifty visibly gasp and felt him flinch as a second shoved him to the side, reaching into Shifty's mouth and grabbing his tongue. Something cold touched his tongue. Something sharp.

“If you don't keep quiet, or at least don't stop being so crude…” their original assailant hummed, creeping closer to him, holding the stolen phone in front of his face. “Let's say you won't be having that sharp little tongue of yours for much longer.”

If Shifty moved, if he tried to fight, then… His eyes widened and genuine terror crept into his chest. And it was late enough that they'd probably be out here all night, waiting for Splendont to wake up. In such an amount of time, his tongue could get cut off and even worse could be done.

The flash startled him once more and he jerked - not enough to cut it, thank fuck, but enough to raise his heart rate and think about how it could have.

“Now that you know the consequences, I do want to make it clear that just being nice and compliant won't save you,” the woman chuckled, approaching Lifty and wrapping his arms around his neck. His breath hitched, and he saw his brother struggle with the bindings as tears formed in his eyes, and heard him gasp for breath around her hands.

’We're fucked. We're completely and utterly fucked,’ Shifty thought, heart hammering in his chest. They'd gotten cornered before, but never in such a way like this. They'd usually manage to get away somehow, or the curse would kick in. Not this, never this.

The cold metal against his tongue, threatening to chop it off, the sounds of Lifty choking, gasping for breath, and the sensations of the tight bindings… It's enough to make even him tear up. It's all too much, and his heart beating and beating so fast wasn't helping. He wanted this to be over with - if they were going to kill them, get it over with fast. He hated struggling, hated the prolonged pain of a drawn out death, hated the blood and gore that never really fully went away. He didn't want to die, not really, but if it was quick, it'd be better than prolonging it.

…They probably planned to make them suffer, though. If Splendont didn't respond, they'd start cutting off their fingers one by one, remove an eyeball, or other stuff like that.

A shadow began looming above him, but he dared not to look up, dared not to move an inch. Until the knife was tossed away. The hand holding his tongue let go, and they were tossed aside like the lightest thing ever.

Looming above him was Splendont, folding his arms. “I suggest you let go before I toss you aside like your friend over there.”

“...I thought we had a deal, sir? You give us a pretty sum of cash and leave me and my associates alone for good, and your friends will be freed,” Letting go of Lifty's throat, the woman folded her arms, mirroring the hero's. She gave one look to the one still holding Shifty's mouth, and waved him off. He scrambled away as the woman took the lead, and Shifty scooted closer to his wheezing brother, gently touching their shoulders together.

“You think I'd just… bow to your whims like that?” the redhead murmured, eyes narrowing, and there was an intensity in his voice that Shifty had never heard before. Burning red rage hidden behind calmness, he wagered. For him. For Lifty.

The woman hummed. “You focus more on saving people. You wouldn't hurt anyone purposefully, would you? A hero would never do that, especially if all they want is to save people.” A taunt, and she stared at him with a smug look in her eyes. “So, hand it over. Because you're a coward that wouldn't dare hurt anyone unless you had to.”

Instantaneously, Splendont reached and grabbed her by the throat, slamming her against the wall with enough force to hurt but not kill. “You are pretty fucking stupid for assuming that. My brother, maybe, but I'm not above hurting scumbags like you who think they can outsmart me to get their way.” His fingers tightened around her throat. “You're lucky that only one of them actually got physically harmed after being tied up, and it's not the most serious of wounds. Because if you'd done anything more serious, I wouldn't be talking to you right now. Your brains would be splattered in this alleyway, or maybe your body reduced to nothing but ashes.”

The redhead took a deep breath, baring his teeth at her. “I'm not above maiming you or killing you, and honestly, I am considering it anyways. The only reason I haven't yet is because I want you to be alive to go and tell your little crew something. These two are off limits completely, do you understand me? They're under my protection. And if you, or one of your ‘associates’ dares to harm them in any way, shape, or form after this warning I will slaughter you in the most painful way I can think of. Do you understand me?”

Her gasps for breath were similar to Lifty's, and it made him feel… uneasy despite everything. Even if she deserved it, it just made him think of Lifty. His brother sobbed beside him, clearly still shaken up by the experience. Shifty didn't blame him. Even with the sensations of being forced to have his mouth open and tongue held against a knife gone, his heart was still beating so rapidly that he was afraid it'd burst out of his chest. Tears were still flowing from his own eyes, though not in heavy sobs like Lifty, who was still gasping for breath, trembling as he hiccuped and tried not to hyperventilate.

In a way, he felt kind of pathetic. Wondered if Lifty did too. For every excruciatingly painful death that they faced, everything that was more than likely worse than this, Shifty was still… unnerved. Terrified. Was it the threat of permanence, or was the thought, the sound, the feelings, the imagery all too much?

His golden gaze drifted back over to Splendont as he sniffed, wishing his hands were free so he could wipe away the tears, even if to the point the skin around his eyes was raw. He didn't want to be seen like this, even by his boyfriend who had seen him in even more vulnerable states.

The lady hit the ground as he let go of her. “Y-yes… I… I promise…” she wheezed out, and he saw that glimmer of fear within her eyes. She, who felt now what they'd felt. 

Lifty's phone was picked up off the ground and presented to the hero, who took it. “Stay here. I want to see you tell them not to mess with these two. If you try to run, I will find you.” He received a nod in response as she sank to the ground, and he smirked at her before turning his attention to them. He began to undo their bindings, and as soon as his arms were free, he wiped away the tears, taking in a shaky breath and not meeting Splendont's gaze. Instead, once he believed himself to no longer look like a pathetic mess, he grabbed Lifty's hand, making circles with his thumb on his brother's palm.

“Hey. Look at me. You're gonna be okay. Both of you,” Splendont gently grabbed his chin, placing a kiss on his lips before the motion made him flinch and think of the way he'd been held before. He did the same to Lifty, who simply clung onto him and cried. Shifty hesitated, feeling the tears return as he let out a breath, shuddering as he simply stared at him, a wide-eyed mess, trembling like a frightened child, crying like one too.

And yet wordlessly, he followed in Lifty's example, clinging onto Splendont and letting out an anguished sob, mentally pleading for him not to let go, to just… let it happen. Just until he could compose himself. Just until his heart no longer was about to beat out of his chest.

–––––

Even back at their apartment, even after witnessing the scum and her associates promise to leave them be, even when his tears had stopped, even when Splendont was holding them so close to him, rubbing their backs comfortingly, he still felt… indescribably not good. It probably would be the last time they went for a walk or something so late at night. It'd probably fuck with their insomnia even more. Nightmares? Maybe! Because fuck him and Lifty, they deserved the worst possible fucking cards in life at every given opportunity, right?

“Damn it,” he hissed, voice cracking as tears welled up in his eyes again. Why did he have to keep thinking about how he felt? It just made him fall back into crying again, a cycle that was hard to break.

“Shifty,” Splendont murmured softly, holding him closer, wiping away the tears gently. “It's okay to cry and be scared. I think anyone would in your situation.”

“It doesn't feel okay,” he snapped half-heartedly, sniffling, shutting his eyes tightly. “I hate feeling like this, I hate the fact it happened, and I hate the fact that the problem we tried to solve by going out is just going to get worse!”

“Shift…” Lifty murmured softly, looking at him. “...He's right.”

’I KNOW he's right but it doesn't make it feel any better!’ he wanted to shout, but he just held his tongue, burying his face into Splendont's chest.

Splendont continued to rub his back, just holding him while he cried and sobbed like a child. It was soothing, and Lifty grabbed his hand and held it too.

“I love you,” Splendont murmured, kissing his forehead. “More than words can describe. And I'm so glad I got there before they did anything worse because I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something did happen to you. I would take a thousand bullets for the two of you, run through fields of fire and lava, turn back time if I had to. I'd die so many deaths for you… Anything to keep you two safe.”

“I'm sorry,” Lifty murmured softly. “I'm sorry, it was stupid of us to go out so late especially given we live here, but… but we couldn't sleep and we didn't want to just sit around.”

Splendont let out a breath. “Don't apologize. I was feeling restless tonight myself. God, I'm so lucky I was on my way to do an extra round of patrols when I got that text. But… you know what I'm about to say, right?”

“...You don't want us to wander outside at night anymore,” Shifty answered, lifting his head up. “We weren't going to. Not for a while.”

Splendont nodded. “Not alone, at least. If you want to go take a walk, call me. I'll drop everything for you.”

“You're too good. Too good for us,” Lifty murmured. “...Love you…”

“Yeah. We love you.” Shifty added. “...Thanks. For saving us, for… staying with us, for everything.”

They both let out a soft gasp as Splendont pulled them closer, peppering kisses onto their faces. And finally, Shifty no longer felt the dark and cold pit of dread and fear in his stomach, but rather a warm feeling. Love. Safety. The tension began to melt as he relaxed in his boyfriend's arms, giving his brother's hand a squeeze.

Maybe when Splendont left, it would return. But for now he knew they were safe and loved, and that was good enough for him.

[frankmillerturnonyourlocation]

oh dammit i also need to build two more pages. Sigh okay as a reminder to myself and also because i want to talk about them messily here's my two wills that ive been procrastinating on giving tags:

Will Stanton!

From The Dark Is Rising (book series). Wildly dense British fantasy from the 70s that's gonna require more nuanced understanding of western European history to fully analyze and appraise than I have in me to give. With what I've got: it's, uh, definitely a British fantasy series from the 70s, with pieces of all the flaws you'd expect and possibly some exciting new ones, but it's good-hearted overall, and damn if it isn't beautiful.

I picked up a really old copy of the second book in the series from an elementary school that was giving them away during possibly the coldest, darkest, most socially hostile period of my college experience. Real leaving in the dark and coming home after dark vibes. I ended up finishing the book in the following semester, on a bench in town right before a beautiful spring storm. So, like, of course it's tattooed onto my heart.

Will is a twelve-year-old boy who lives on a farm and is also the last of a group of ancient, magic, impossibly wise guardians of all things ontologically good or whatever and he's no longer counted among humans as one of them and he's a little shit to his big sisters and he sings soprano. He walked into the woods with a teenager who wanted to hurt him and he never again acted entirely like a child. He tried to tell his favorite brother about it once. His brother didn't understand. He is the only one of the series' many child heroes who will remember any of it, and he will remember it forever, because he will not die. and im his weird time-lost best friend babysitter he shares a soul bond with and we have small companion dragons that are manifestations of our souls and its rad as fuck okay dont worry about it istg this is as far outside of canon compliance i have gotten with a self ship thus far

and thennnn.

William Shakespeare! (THE CHARARCTER FROM SOMETHING ROTTEN!)

Musicals are so fucking fun. It's like, cool, this thing rewired my brain, and I'm never gonna see it again. And we just do this to ourselves on purpose because live theater is so special and powerful like that. We do this on purpose.

And THEN it's like cool, cool, I'm researching contraceptive methods from the renaissance now, awesome. I'm spending my one wild and precious life thinking about meetcutes with Literal Playwright William Shakespeare. Nobody unfollow me for this. It's barely even rpf.

He's a little BITCH and a PLAGIARIST and a ROCK STAR and a CYNICAL ROMANTIC. I am CROSSDRESSING as a TEENAGE BOY to safely and legally CROSSDRESS AS A WOMAN to play BIT PARTS and get HECKLED onstage. And we slowburn until we develop a deep reliance on each other as two people with few healthy and reciprocal relationships with anyone else.

At some point, he lets me write some scripts and have them performed under his name. We all fucking hear me right now, right? Jesus Christ. It's not historical rpf. But I am saying that I would allow fictionalized, slutty William Shakespeare plagiarize my writing if he let me direct a little bit and also we were in love about it. I am saying that. And we're all still here.