#ive been stuck here for years
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discovering the borrower in my house because i accidentally exhaled my vape in their direction and heard them choking on the sudden blue razz flavored cloud that consumed them
#g/t#giant tiny#nicotine mention#ID FEEL SO BAD 😭#also DONT EVER VAPE KIDS. DONT SMOKE. DONT DO ZYNS IR WHATEVER#this shit is so easy to pick up and so so hard to drop#ive been stuck here for years
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Hero.
#legend of zelda#echoes of wisdom#loz eow#loz#zelda#tri#josh art tag#been meaning to do a full on stained glass drawing for like 2 years now lol#ive had ideas but none really stuck with me until this one#and the reason why is cuz this one was more of a scene! it wasnt just a normal drawing made to look like stained glass#it had what is supposed to be a literal window with someone standing before it looking up at it#also i find the timing of this drawing funny#cuz i just recently changed my shading style to resemble stained glass even more so than usual#cuz for years now ive gottem comments saying#my style reminds people of stained glass#and sometimes i see it sometimes i dont#cuz my shading style changes and sometimes it really did look glass like#but other times i dont think it did?? but i still got those comments??#maybe its like the way i do lineart or block out shapes?#idk but recently when i was growing tired of my previous coloring style i remembered those comments#and decided to lean into it#but now just a little while after that#here i am doing a legit stained glass illustration lol
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didnt have the time to do a full finished drawing, but i tried to keep up with my tradition for redrawing the same good bro day drawing ive done for 3 years already :')
(last year's, which also has links to prev years as well)
#feels like i havent drawn the boys in. forever. i missed them#kinda unrelated and i said this on twitter too but i think most of you guys here should hear it...#i know a lot of you have followed me since my early dmc days and i just wanted to take the chance to thank you#its crazy to me that ppl have known me for so long and the support means a lot to me#i know i havent posted a lot this year bc ive just been busy with work but im grateful you guys still stuck around. thank you :)#anyways back to actual tags#devil may cry#vergil(dmc)#dante(dmc)#allyart
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you might be sitting there thinking "can you stop making all this mediocre art and just get back to costuming again" at which point i invite you to hear my secret list as to why im drawing more instead of cosplaying lately. are you ready
1. its free
2.
#BABY GIRL....THE ECONOMY...#also as a fun little fact im doing insanely bad right now my depression is the worst its been in years#ive been trying and failing to do fuckall for months but nothing sticks#i actually already blew my costume budget for october but both attempts failed bc i cant get it together#so#here we are#yall are going to be stuck with another 3 weeks of non costume art until i get paid again
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juvie buddies
#alek art#td duncan#td mal#total drama#total drama all stars#(if i want to get technical)#2024#duncan is around 15 here... mal is around 16#ive thought really hard about them these past few days . in my brain they actually knew each other and canon is different#duncan and mike got along really well. in juvie mal refused to speak to anyone about anything and would fight as many people as he could .#he wanted to stay in there and far away from home . they get roomed together and duncan is the first person who mal can talk to . he isnt#scared of him . he relates to him a lot . like -> wow we both act out for attention and people think we are terrible because of it#duncan being a mentally ill teenager seeing mal an also very mentally ill teenager thought 'i can fix him' . mike and duncan speak too here#i cant really see anyone else fronting besides those two . their brain was on lockdown and mike wanted out so bad . i see manitoba as a#gatekeeper so hed handle some sessions with their psych. i want to say they (duncan and mike) get moved to a psyche ward just because#i have more knowledge on being in one and how it goes ... but yeah i like duncan mal a lot . this art isnt ship whatsoever though 🙏 i dont#see them as a couple their dynamic is just better as friends imo#but anyways in all stars they obviously recognize each other but have an unspoken agreement not to say anything abt it#duncan is a known criminal but mike isnt like that . mike hadnt even told zoey about that part of his life . so duncan wanted to respect his#privacy -> then mal starts hurting people and he has to step in . mal isnt a good person by any means but i dont think he was that bad in#juvie . so duncan had to come to terms that his friend wasnt the same person he was years ago (in all stars duncan is ~18 and i think mike#is almost 20... so it had been a while since they last talked)#them getting each other like no other and being in pain because they couldnt really speak . i see them having a conversation still in moon#madness abt their past and history . god i just think abt them and their wasted potential wdym mike and duncan were in juvie together#duncan was in for trespassing or destruction of private property or something really dumb . mal fought his parent(s) and got in for assault#mal was already in when duncan was placed . and duncan was let out early on good behavior + his parents (dad) mostly did it to teach him a#lesson . wrong of them or otherwise . so mal was just kinda stuck there until they realized he was actually not right in the head . think he#knew abt their DID but was only diagnosed in juvie and had to go from there . tbh he shouldve been tried as an adult but td logic . doesnt#matter dw guys . mike gets the 'was put on random meds that made him go braindead' treatment bc that was me . post mental hospital abilify#had me messed up
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I thought Will would like messing with louise sometimes. Louise doesnt seem to like his sense of humor, though.
(Characters are will and louise from @peachnewt 's story, getting in deep !!)
#okay so im gonna say this in the tags cause im too much of a pussy to say it for real#but ive never interacted with any vore communities before#mostly because ive always felt like it was too “weird”. also ive just never found any i was really felt comfortable with#but recently (after literal years of figuring myself out and feeling like i was crazy) ive realised i do actually want to talk to you guys#it probably sounds dumb but finding GID and actually exploring a bit of the community here has shown me#that there ARE people like me. with the same experiences and feelings.#after spending my whole life feeling like a freak. finally meeting people who are just like me#okay that really does sound cringe but you know what i mean right?#idk. ive felt more seen and “normal” about myself in the last week than i have in forever#and i guess i just hope you guys can show me around the place and talk to me about the things that have been stuck in my head for forever#finding this insanely niche community of “nonsexual comfort safe vore” or whatever other terms can be used#has seriously changed a lot for me#and i cant wait to talk to all of you more \:]#gid fanart#will and louise gid
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:(
#i dont really like getting mopey on this account but things have . sucked ass for a really long time#and its really getting to me that my situation is just inescapable and intolerable#my arm might be broken and it doesn't even change anything except that ive seen the cats even less because ive been barricading my door#i hate asking for help knowing im still stuck here#that the support people give can only go to buying me time rsther than an actual solution dusgusts me. i feel horrific over it#ive never completed anything. i just take and take snd take and im so tired of it.#im too much and i get that. i really do. i just don't have anything else left but that#its going to be six years of denial soon. i want to grieve. i want to be allowed to grieve#but i can't express anything in this house except silence. i cant be angry or its wrong. i cant be happy or im being manipulative.#i cant talk or im selfish and intrusive. and im tired.#i just need a hug man. and affordable rent.#sorry for all of that. just struggling to be normal#patch me through to palaven command
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2023 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix - Fernando Alonso
#weird to be doing this for the last time this season#literally have been doing it since bahrain quali aahhhh....#well gifing before that but this specfifc interview type gif wow this is the last one#dont want to get to emo in the tags bcs ive not really found words just yet for how i feel abt the season#but thanks so much everyone for supporting me all this way!!! its been so much fun#literally the thing keeping me going is making these after every race#i started this habit as a silly thing to keep my progress while watching thru older seasins#and i could never have imagined how much i would make!! so again thanks for all the support#id say 'see you next year' as if im not going to be loitering here all winter break#so uhhhhh stay posted for old content and art??? thanks love you!!!#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#we do a little bit of f1#2023 abu dhabi gp#i used to put: '(2023 races watched: 22/22)#and i wish i stuck w that but i didnt but just know...I WATCHED THEM ALL AND TWO IN PERSON YAYAYAYAY#I have trouble sticking w things w an extended time so its cool to have gotten to this point
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Me rising from the dead after 3 months
#sin speaking#(yo what happened it was january yesterday)#(......H E L L O)#(guess who finally got their elvanse back lmao i feel like ive been trapped in the chalice dungeons for a thousand years)#(if u ever have imposter syndrome about having adhd. boy will missing ur meds make you think twice about that LOL)#(regret to inform you all that i have been violently obsessed with lop since it got patched in february and i replayed it. 8 times. lmao)#(i also regret to inform you that i have another new hunter. tragic. but i am not immune to choir propoganda.)#(good news though! i have some art stuff to post so look 4ward to that i guess lmao)#(SO SORRY IVE BEEN GONE SO GRATEFUL TO SEE ANYONE HAS STUCK AROUND i have missed being productive here....soooooo bad lmao)#(im not going to promise too much tho bc lmao god always strikes me down for my hubris but YEAH. HI 😀)
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Post that has rerouted my brain
#this is legitimately so world changing for me because never before in my whole like 2 years of undyne obsession Ive really just stuck to-#-my own observations about her character. but OML.#after reading this. for the very first time ive had this absolutely mind crushing moment where someone else has made an insanely correct-#observation about her and her character and just all these little things that are lightly implied THAT I SOMEHOW DIDNT NOTICE BEFORE!!!!!!#AND WHEN I SAY THIS HAS CHANGED ME. THIS PERSON WHO POSTED THIS. THIS PERSON THEY ARE SO CORRECT OMG#AND I JUST#DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY CONNECTIONS THIS HAS JUST MADE IN MY MIND. THE SUDDENLY MAKING SENSE OF EVERYTHING THAT I AM EXPERIENCING.#YOU DO NOT EVEN KNOW OH MY GOD#this isnt even just a ''im begging you to read this post i found its rlly good''#its a ''THIS POST I FOUND MAKES AN INCREDIBLY CORRECT POINT THAT I SOMEHOW NEVER MADE BEFORE AND MY BRAIN HAS BEEN CHANGED FOREVER NOW.''#THIS IS. THIS IS SO#its just really a lot to me to see someone who originally didn't really think much into undyne really#but there by making one small crucial observation here it has just blown my world of this character and just who she is etc etc efce ceecceg#i honestly cant even believe i never even picked up on this until literally just now while just searching undyne on google-#-because of how much i needed to see something new of her#AND DID I!!!!!!!!!#that is insane to me how did i never even see this this is changing my everything i am so in love with this post#undyne appreciation my absolute fucking beloved#undyne#undertale#undyne undertale#hdjdjdkskskaaass omgggg hdhdjdndnddn guyss you don't even know#this might not even seem like a lot but it has just opened up so much for me i promise I'll make it all make more sense one day trust me ily
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It's actually so fucked to no longer have access to a rack and barbells
#i miss moving heavy weight its genuinely so fucking depressing being stuck at 100lbs max with dumbbells!!! I want to squat again!!!!#moving back to CA has been insanely depressing theres no fucking nature where im at and when i go on daily walks its just fucking conk crete#it also doesnt help that i literally have maybe 1/10th the friends here#which is funny bc i was only in WA for like. 3 years?#and ive been in CA my whole life besides then#i just do not vibe with californians#anyways this isnt even on topic anymore#but if you are a CA friend youre in a very exclusive group of 4 people
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k, m, n, t for pd and/or suck!!! >:33333
K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?
-> you know i gotta say wiwi. i have to. that character was Made For Me i swear to GOD . genuinely i cannot think about prime defenders season 2 episode 39 without feeling physically sick bc i love it so much. its the only one i havent relistened to since i heard it the first time. i KNOW its gonna make me cry again so i genuienly have not touched it even though theres things in there i need to hear again for character research. his arc is so like. narratively satisfying in a way that hits me so fucking deep to my core in an extremely personal way. and like. there were definitely some Decisions that i was REALLY ANNOYING about hating when they were brought up because im used to media with bad storytelling/creators that do not care about their characters but. looking back on it i would not change a single thing about it. i love you wiwi so much.
-> FOR SUCK.... its not over yet. so i cannot definitively say. campaign finale comes out tomorrow so my answer may change depending on that but for right now i think i gotta say arthur. i joke a lot about hating arthur for no real reason in particular but. man his story is just REALLY good. not going 2 give you suck spoilers (hehe) but i also really like how shilo has grown through the campaign. hes my little guy :]
M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.
-> TIDE. TIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TIDE TIDE TIDE I LOVE TIDE SO MUCH. thats my dad thats my best friend i love tide so much dude. every time he is mentioned or on screen i am just like :D HI TIDE I LOVE YOU TIDE
-> grefgore :] light of my life this is how i feel anytime i think about grefgore
N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).
-> CHARACTER STUDIES. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. I LIKE A GOOD SHIPPING FIC AS MUCH AS THE NEXT GUY BUT PLEASE GOD WRITE THEM IN CHARACTER. EXPLORE THEIR THOUGHTS AND EMOTIONS AND WHY THEY MAKE CERTAIN DECISIONS THE WAY THEY DO. this doesnt even go for just pd and suck this is like. true for every single fandom ive ever fucking been in. do you know how hard it is to find character studies in the danny phantom tag on ao3. nobody has even fucking watched the show how are they going to write character studies they just want (<< i cannot legally finish this sentence without getting in so much trouble) I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING MY FUCKING SELF AROUND HERE. ALL I EVER WRITE ARE CHARACTER STUDIES BC THATS THE WAY I THINK ABOUT CHARACTERS. I LOVE THEIR MOTIVATIONS I LOVE TO GET INSIDE THEIR BRAINS LIKE A LITTLE PARASITE AND IT IS ALWAYS SURPRISING TO ME WHEN OTHER PEOPLE DO NOT THINK LIKE THIS. (edit im just now reading through this and realized the question says three things. i did not process that. my three things are all more character studies please)
T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?
-> oh dude i have so many hmmmmmmm how to choose just one. i have a LOT of feelings about wiwis original death and i might write something about that when i can get over my shrimp emotions about him. dakota cole audhd truther but that ones pretty much canon anyway so i dont think it counts. vyncent and his relationship with growing up in fantasy world and then being thrown into prime and how he adjusted to that. I think he really lies shitty syfy channel type horror movies that are so stupidly bad. and also plays a lot of video games but again i think thats mostly canon already. i think tide listens to dad rock but also like. ocean man by ween. you already know about my william and ashe being each others emotional support at concerts. i think william and ashe should hang out and do emo kid things more. i also have a lot of feelings about ashe and coping with the crippling loneliness of basically growing up alone and how the pd becoming like INSTANT best friends was so much for him in sooo many ways. you already know how i feel about mark i am in the middle of dissecting him like im in a high school biology class as we speak. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i know im gonna think of something really good after i hit the post button so stay tuned
#ive written like. maybe 2 shipping fics in recent years and one was while i was high on post-wisdom-teeth-surgery drugs#and the other has been in my wips for over a year bc i got to the quote unquote romantic part and ran out of all ideas#<< ive started working on this one again and instead of making them kiss i just went on for like . 4 more paragrapsh#about how the robot character finds it inconvenient to be in a body that visibly emotes. so that explains a lot i guess#the murderbot influence has hit me apparently#I DONT REALLY HAVE MANY SUCK HEADCANONS. as much as i loooove the suckening it doesnt like. grip me quite as hard as#pd and riptide do.#same with bitb! i fucking looooove bitb and i think about it so much but i dont necessarily have hcs for it because i like.#prefer the way canon is??? if that makes sense????#I DO HOWEVER love to say the phrase “arthur bennett is a beautiful name for a butch lesbian” only bc i saw a piece of fanart with#that as the caption after like. epsiode 3. and it got stuck in my mind#oh also idk if ur here yet but arthur and deacon are also divorced father toxic exes in my mind. they totally fuck in a vampire style#(<< which is . ALSO a quote from a piece of fnaart that got stuck in my mind so fucking hard. they totally fuck in a vampire style.#i hate it here)#GODDD THANK U FOR LETTING ME RAMBLE. CAN YOU TELL IM NORMAL ABOUT THIS#asks#intertexts#friends!!!
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breaking out into hives gnawing at my enclosure bars i Need to work on my comic again to physically see what happens next
#LUCKILY i get the whole next week off bc we're so ahead from them workin us to death all damn year SO#im gunna try my damnedest and get all the shit i got in my system drawn out nfsw and regular drawings too done this week and then Hopefully#im going to start the next comic section by next week#gunna risk it all bc theres still fucking nowhere to move out to so im gunna get one more update in b4 the end of this year#currently stuck between allegedly making too much to live here and literally every single other place too expensive to move into whadda joy#but whats new pussycat ANYWAY im so ready to start working on concepts for the next scene in wheel bitten ive been plOTTIN#getting to the stage where the visions have been actively sitting in my brain for so long its starting to drive me crazy YEEHAW
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love how the BAFTA bitches are also losing their fucking minds over the ginger swag noodle going "i would like to spend.... hhngh' bcuz girl- SAME
#ive been stuck here for half a year now please#id say send help but i quite like it in the misery#this is ny roman empire my Chicago my everything#crowley baby you're my everything#good omens#david tennant#bafta 2024#baftas#doctor who
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WHY R PEOPLE SO MEAN
#experiencing bullying for the first time at age 21 in college#i was walking home and on the phone w my ma an some girl behind me headed me off and yelled at me bcz i was walking too slow#like girl i did not know u were there !! u could have asked me to move !!#im sick of this place an these people !!#i met some rly nice pplon the train who were from a less prestigious college that i wanted to go to but didnt get in an they were SO NICE#i couldnt believe it. an i thought it was maybe just me but even they said that most ppl they met from the school im at were kinda rude#and stuck up an i was kinda the exception an they were like sry if that was rude! but i was like NO UR RIGHT !! THEYRE NOT NICE#i probably shouldve gone to a four year community college all the ppl ive met here outside of the foster program have been kinda#stuck up an mean. i think i simply cannot get along with rich people 👍#this school is too prestigious for me i gotta get outta here#AW WELL at least now i wont die wondering what it wouldve been like to go to a big fancy school. i now know that its mid#its fine actually its been kinda fun ina lot of ways#and i can always drop out once my lease is up 👍#vent /
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its so embarassing likee. going to talk abt a feeling you have but you already know ppl will be like Oh that sounds like depression lol and its like. well yes . i know . trust me i am so aware i am depressed . but its still like a thing ive been thinking abt and wanting to talk abt but ik itll just be like Ok hun 👍. idk idk what response i would want tho ig FNFNFNF
#not anything serious i was just thinking how like. idk. this is gonna sound rly stupid#but for me personally like. sometimes. How do i phrase this without sounding rly evil#i think obv ppl can spend their money however they want but like. its kind of hard 4 me to grasp sometimes like. there r things that ppl#spend a lot of money on bc it makes them happy like umm. vacations or pets or hobbies or whathaveyou. and obviously thats fine but#i iust feel like its all so. temporary and like. idk. idt im ohrasing this right at all i just likee. the thought of working all year to#afford to take a vacation and then working again to afford another vacation just makes me feel like i want to die. like. idk... i like#vacations we dont need to go on them a lot but ig its just like. everything we do just feels like a waste of time. not in like a Ohh you#should be doing more work Obviously its just like. idk. maybe it is just me. but i feel like im just waiting until i die and can be done#with it i guess. and everything i do is just to fill time until that happens. yk ? which is silly bc of my whole. Thing i cant talk abt#but ppl talk abt like. going out and partying or going on vacation or whatever and i like. I like those things its nice when they happen#but they dont rly make me longterm any happier i guess. everything just feels like another thing im doing. idk. this rly isnt coming out the#way it is in my head. and Again i know this is just depression shit or whatever im just like. its all exhausting. it just makes me feel so#tired. to think abt working and working and working so i can pay to be alive and i can save to do one fun thing every so often to keep me#sane enough to keep working and working and working and i probably wont ever be able to retire itll just be. work. and then ill die. yk.#but i feel like the vacations and stuff dont like. refresh me very much. maybe its just bc ive only been on one 'vacation' as an adult and#it was just like. coming home to see my family. and realizing id have to move back home yk..#+ like. my mom nd my gran taking me out for a weekend when i lived up there#nd those things were nice and all but once its over its like. it doesnt fuel me to keep going it doesnt make me feel any better abt having#to work for the rest of my life#ik im being ridiculous bc im literally unemployed and i cant even get up off my ass to get my stupid fucking ged so i can get a job and be#Useful to my family its just like. idk.... i try so hard to be like Oh nothing mayters and thats why everything matters type thing like. Yes#all things end and the point is to just try to be happy until it does#but i feel like it just doesnt happen for me. i feel like any happiness i feel is so insanely like. it happens and then its gone. and its#back to just. the knowledge that im still fucking stuck here. and i will be until it happens. yk. i play video games tomoass the time until#i go back to sleep then i wake up and i make a spreadsheet to pass the time until i go back to sleep#and everyday just feels like passing the time until i go back to sleep and itll just keep going until it happens. and its nice to have nice#days but whats like. the point. yk. everything just ends#IDK. this is all very whiny im sry. ive just been feeling it a lot lately . i hope this doesnt feel like me being like Ohhh you ppl r so#dumb participating in hobbies and going out and having fun dont you know yr gonna DIE? thats not what im trying to be like#its just like. i feel like it doesnt make me as happy as it does other ppl like. none of it refreshes me or makes me want to keep going
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