#ive been on and off sick for like
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that's me in the corner
that's me in a
snot
fight
losing to flu season
#personal#ive been on and off sick for like#a month?#and i am so so tired of it#im over worked#never have enough time to recover#its a vicious cycle
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[id in alt]
rouge teaches shadow how to fly
#monotoneart#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#shadow the hedgehog#rouge the bat#sonic x shadow generations#sonic x shadow generations spoilers#i drew this back when shadow's wings were shown off. then i got sick of looking at this cause ive been working on it foreverrr.#then came back and decided i liked it sjdhfjdsf#...but if there's any more mistakes. they dont exist
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zzz
#my post#my art#art#dnp#dan and phil#phan#phanart#phil lester#amazingphil#daniel howell#danisnotonfire#im so sick :(( i spent a lot of hours yeaterday painting and procrastinating uni work#i am going to rip off my sinus#ive been sleeping like shite so it was mmmmmmm.. a choice.. that i finished thi#*s drawing
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Suspirium - Thom York
#this is my very favorite song and i think ive been wanting to make this for abt a year#when i was at my most compulsivly unwell i would be focusing so hard and sleeping so little that i would feel physically sick#like the world was tilting around me and i would think: all is well as long as i keep spinning#bc i would stop moving and suddenly id be in pieces on the floor. but now i think my favorite lines are: when i arrive will u come and find#me? or in a croud be one of them? bc its such a profoundly lonely idea. i dont believe in a life after death. i think when ur gone ur gone#your brain stops and the thing that made you you is gone forever. but if i imagined an afterlife image getting off a train onto a crowded#platform and searching for my mom through all the chaos. when i arrive will u come and find me? would our connect extend past a lifetime?#or would u be in a crowed one of them? would i stand alone in a sea of people waiting for someone who was never coming?#its a very upsetting thought#im glad i waited to make this bc i feel the song more deeply after the death of my mom. it feels more sad and more ethereal.#there r like 2 different versions of the lyrics bc thom york is so fucking hard to understand#so i use the version i like better#original art
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cant stop thinkin bout charles and erik readin together on the couch but instead of reading with him charles is listening to eriks thoughts while he reads. Live mind commentary ……..
#xmen#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#snap chats#the rare time i post an idea of mine only because i really cant think of a way id draw this#usually i hoard my ideas cause i like surprising you guys but this aint really one i feel like drawing so. For You my friends#like i COULD but. idk just isnt particularly something im itching to draw it just seems cute#but anyways no chat let me cook alright hear me out cause i talk in my brain all the time while i read#sometimes i stop reading just to think about a bit i read yeah#i want charles to listen in on all of eriks side comments or observations he makes while reading something#like if he wanted to charles could read the whole book in less than five minutes- maybe shorter than that#and that aint fun that aint cool …. so time for Audible: Husband Edition. With Commentary#ITD BE SO COZY just hangin out by the fireplace …. maybe its snowin outisde … if snow even exists anymore atp#a light fire cracklin and the study SEEMS totally quiet otherwise and yet…..#charles has been locked in to erik’s off-the-cuff literary analysis and mild comments for the past twenty minutes. its simple but its bliss#charles doesnt have to worry about being seen as invasive .. he doesnt have to suppress his powers …#the rare occasion erik lets charles into his mind for somethin so innocent .. ive made myself sick i fear#see now i wanna try writing a fic but 1.) have written in years 2.) id have to really think hard on how erik would commentate on a book#hm…… actually i do wonder what erik’s commentary on The Fable of the Bees would be …..#IN ANY CASE. maybe - at the very least- i can draw cherik by the fireplce someday ….#thatd be cute … hm …. depends on if i get in the mood for it down the line#anyways i have to drive back to my dorm !!! boo !!!! so good night everyone !!!!!
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redesigned creek cuz im sick of feeling rage every time i see him
#a lot offff this is based off rps with him :3 so if ur like why. that's why#im sick of rping him and seeing his ugly canon icon and having a physical visceral reaction#i want to see him in the new movies style SO BAD!!!! RAGRHH#also i went thru a lot of effort to make his trousers NOT neon yellow only for the filters i applied to turn them neon again#creek#trolls#redesign#art#fanart#my recent art has been so sketchy and non refined but i truly just cant b bothered atm#now realising ive hardly posted it here HOLD ONNN I will b posting all my recent art eventually#he clacks when he walks cuz i think its a very relaxing sound. namaste or whatever
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woe. clown be upon ye
#clownpierce#lifesteal smp#mcyt#.....idk what else to tag this as.#didnt look at much fanart while designing him so i just went based off of the skin and my mental image of jesters/clowns#and then looked at fanart after i finished and realized like everyone draws him in a cool suit/vest kinda thing#and thats SICK but ive already drawn this so im rolling with it now#virgil arts#anyways. why is it always minecraft that my brain latches on to.#why is that the default#i like this guy tho. his videos are surprisingly chill and theyve been keeping me sane for the past few days
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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Come back home when you have some sense
You can throw your life away just not at my expense
You’re not the son I raised
#jhariah#this one just rawrrfrrr#and then uh another line thats like ‘tell me did you raise a man?’#nice#im just listening to the new album to cope with nasty sickness and feeling out of it#god this album is really good it has every emotion in there like this song for example just the part where they scream the chorus its like#hnnnghhh#hm some other moments from the album im liking a lot uhhh i love re: concerns a lot#the part where hes like reading off the complaints and then the part where hes just screaming and its like BAM BAM BAM BAAAM#sasuke is so good and the bit at the end where its like ‘i just want you to know im so so...’#like hes gonna say sorry but cant seem to say the word for whatever reason and i know nothing about sasuke#but i has to imagine the fan girlies are eating gravel over that one lol it gets me#and theres just that like spooky echoing afterwards#the intro to fire4fun goes SOOOOOOOO hard i was losing my shit its awesome#the entirety of trust ceremony is giving me big feelings but specifically that part towards the end where its all quiet and you hear#its like whistling i think? like a marching band is coming in maybe#but it also kinda sounds like nature too and idk i like got a little bit um magical at that part cuz i was driving down a big hill#and it had been raining but there was a clearing in the clouds and the sun was bright and like at this particular hill#you can just see everything like the land stretches for miles theres trees hills the river farms all that shit#and idk with the extreme stress and depression ive been feeling its hard to have these moments where life seems worth it#and its hard to really feel anything anymore or to feel in the moment but idk i was just going down that hill seeing everything and it was#very majestic so yeah that song is definitely gonna have the same effect as pin eye for me#which i must mention pin eye again its still OOOOGHH very good it came at a pretty good time for me#yeah basically this album is uhhhh whats keeping me somewhat grounded rn i recommend 👍
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I need them to add a Splat playlist or something in-game if they're not gonna add an option to mute the music, because I can't keep listening to the same Splatfest song that I hate every time
#IM SICK OF SUFFER NO FOOLS#IM SO TIRED OF IT#I JUST PLAYED A MATCH AND IT PLAYED IT AGAIN#IVE BEEN HEARING THIS DAMN SONG EVERY GAME STOP IT. I HATE THIS FUCKING SONG#ETC#to the person who suggested to turn off the game sound. no. i like being aware of my surroundings esp with sound cues#i love being hyper aware of whats going on in the game. like i play much worse without hearing in-game audio
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im thinking of changing my name again because im cursing at my 14 year old self who picked this random white name for me to live with now so ive been researching traditional Sakha names to get it right and apparently before the russians came and fucked up all our shit with their taxes and christianity, it was the norm for every Sakha person to change their name in their lifetime if not twice, then three times, and who knows if maybe more
basically, the newborn Sakha in the pre-christianity era would be given a name right away after birth like all kids, but once they grew up and started exhibiting individual traits they would be given a descriptive nickname which could describe pretty much anything about a person - positive characteristics, negative characteristics, physical quirks, facial features, body type, age, etc etc. one of my faves i found was Бэлтэкэ (Belteke) with means ‘round face’. would fit me ngl
anyways this is awesome news for me and i just wanted to share because learning that changing names throughout your life is historically super normal for our people makes me feel better about changing it for the second time, yknow? especially with the fact that those names were an individual’s descriptor. almost kind of like being trans and changing your name to one that suits you as a person better so you don’t walk around with the one that had nothing to do with who you really are on a personal level for your whole life
#also#apparently we had the practice of naming our kids ugly names to wart off demons too#i wonder if there’s ever been a Sakha kid named after the word hiccup#mostly from what ive read it was names based on nature like scary animals or gross insec#so they’d be walking around named Wolf and Polar Bear and stuff#sick as hell no?????#gene talks#sakha#yakut
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15.2-
#ive been feeling like absolute dogshit#the last 2 days#called off of work today#BUT STILL HAD TO GO OUT#see docs and get meds like pls#me wanna stay home#also busted my knee? but limping is the least of my worry#it’s the constant feeling of deathly sickness about#fuck off#also good night!#i say nauseated#sketch#year of the dragon
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Wish I could talk about how angeal is gay coded without forcing people to sit through bible study… People hype up how genesis is gay coded because he is eve, but angeal is not talked about at all in the same sense despite representing adam and it’s strange to me.
#not art#I have a feeling I know why lol#was writing about it already and I was like. man. no one wants to read this#head in my hands#I'm sorry no art btw ive been sick off and on so much#angeal hewley
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Pipe by XNDA
Sewis | E | 10k
"Hey, man. This might sound really weird, and I swear this is not how I flirt. But my bathroom sink is currently trying to flood my bathroom. I'm new to the area and I don't know anyone and you're the closest person in Grindr. Would you, by any chance, know how to fix a sink?"
#mine#f1 rpf#sewis#ive been so sick/busy/off of tumblr that it took me a week to make this#i like it though#silly little post to go with my silly little fic#my fic
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Condi posted some music!
Video Description: A tweet by @/Condifiction that reads: "I've been trying to remake my favorite song from the new FFXIV expac recently and I'm pretty proud of what I have so far". There is an attached clip of his music program, with the audio/instrumentals making the song on display. He then replies to himself with: "Its essentially just transcribing an already existing song by ear, but I've learned a lot doing it and this has definitely been the hardest on[e] I've tried". End Video Description
+ some replies
#post archived!#august#condifiction#twitter post#this is sick as fuck#and twitter really hates me for some reason and i tried recording the final 2-3 seconds that got cut off here like 7 times#it never worked#anyway let me know if the video description format is wonky or ive messed up a photo id somehow#trying to make this all accessible. thats the point of an archive lmao#ive been told its helpful! and im glad! but i just wanna make sure im doing this right
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averse Avery IS your kid, literally yours and Nyxy’s kid
"Whoops, spoiler alert"
#anon asks#ask avjverse#yall really have way to have me skip some chapters#ive been aching to release their debut but since nyx had been off the net for a while and me being busy with work exam and sickness#basically everyday life leaving me tired#i got no time to update much with the main story#averse#newverse#averse_auto#dust!auto#avery#nyxverse child#averse like every other autos dont place affinity to fanchildren#they didnt make them so...#avj old art
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