#its the same journey but im so different

[pinkcadillaccas]

Anyone else feeling the relentless march of time on this Saturday night

[deductions-and-magic]

On the perimeter of the Int.

so I just watched Interior Chinatown and discovered Archie Kao (and proceeded to start watching his entire filmography as you do) (also i think i really need to read the book Edit: finished the book!! might write a new post)

And I think it is so poignant that he is Uncle Wong

The ABC (American Born Chinese) who has a foot in both worlds (the first to realize the dangers involved and believes it’s his responsibility to protect his people!), who says

"I was born here. In this city. I've been here my whole life."

and yet is so grounded in both cultures

who finds the victims of the systematic violence resulting from the police procedural

is performed by the ABC who was raised on an American farm, who did not know Mandarin when he moved to China a few years back to find his roots and pursued acting there, who is now back in the US (source: his Int. Chinatown interviews), who has always tried to help. to change things (even if small)

In his interviews he talked about how he spent most of his time in Hollywood on procedural dramas

And parallels with Willis Wu who as a "Generic Asian Man" could not be the hero, the lead (on CSI: Enhance! On Chicago PD: Detective but tech guy — so many parallels)

So he, like many Asian Americans, IS Willis Wu (like Uncle Wong was Willis but even more similar)

but more importantly, his path of America -> Asia -> America is the path of so many people who are unsure of “self” and where they stand, thinking about where they come from and what that actually means

What being American Means, What being Asian Means, What being Asian-American Means

so I think it's likely this show represents a culmination of his journey of self discovery

As a Chinese American

And what that means to him.

Not at the intersection of two cultures but Cape Horn -- a confluence

Where oceans crash together and people get submerged

where there is a distinct divide but you can’t see it when you’re in the water

In Chinese there's a saying: "见山是山，见水是水；见山不是山，见水不是水；依然见山还是山，见水还是水", which roughly translates to “Seeing mountains as mountains, seeing water as water; seeing mountains not as mountains, seeing water not as water; still seeing mountains as mountains, water as water"

like you're back where you are before, and it's the same

but it’s different now

Which applies to so many things here.

[defness]

→ drawing the same pose over and over again and feels cringe

→ realizes that these drawings are simply pre-ref drawings to figure out one's design so I can Draw Them

→ no longer feels cringe

[joshuamj]

i am Blind to basically anything I'm not familiar with, so i still don't know anythin about In Stars and Time. Could you give some info on it??? i am looking for games to play rn....

hmmm okay.. I will say, going in blind is best! I went in knowing literally only 3 things. 1) that it was about a timeloop, 2) that it was entirely monochrome, and 3) that this one character I had seen once was in it (Mirabelle, didn't know her name, just that she existed). And going in with such little knowledge was great, I'd highly recommend

But if you want more, then here's a bit more.. (mostly a synopsis of stuff you'll figure out early on, no major spoilers)

Obviously its a story about a timeloop! In the game, your party is a group trying to save the world from someone simply known as "the King" who is freezing the entire country in time. Interestingly, the game takes place at the end of your journey. The entire party has been assembled and have known each other, you've journeyed across the country, collected items that'll allow you to enter where the King awaits. All thats left to do is go through where he's holed up and defeat him. Also interestingly, you don't play as the protagonist of this story I've just mentioned. A girl named Mirabelle is the chosen one, blessed by her god, she is unable to be frozen in time, and has taken it upon herself to save her country. Yet, you aren't playing as her. You're playing as someone named Siffrin, just one of her party members, and one that says that they're only here because "they have nothing better to do." This should be Mirabelle's story, but you quickly realize why it isn't. Not long into the game, Siffrin's life unexpectedly comes to an end, and the fact that there's a timeloop afoot becomes apparent. Nobody but you and one strange mystery person (named "Loop" of all things) are aware of the loops. In the game you'll do all that you can to make it to the King and defeat him and keep your friends safe, no matter how many deaths, no matter how much time. But thing's aren't that simple you'll find!

Also this game is about a timeloop, so as you may guess, there's a lot of death involved so warnings for lots of death (including suicide), and also warnings for Really Bad Mental Health Stuff, as you may also guess, being trapped in a timeloop isn't good for your mental health. Check the warnings for the game if you think you may need to!

[magnoliamyrrh]

also. realized last night

[vacalimpia]

english makes itself unnecessarily hard with some words i think the english language would really be benefited by having tildes. tildes change lives theyre a bit confusing to pick up at first but i think that small hurdle in primary and middle school education is worth it for distinguishing when to read "read" and "read" so they wont look the same

[shimmershifts]

an open letter to those who have not yet shifted.

i don't know how many of you will see this, let alone how many will read it entirely. this letter is for those who have been trying to shift for two years, five years, more. those who cannot give up, and those who will not give up, and maybe even those who already have. to preface, this letter will not rehash everything you already know. you've scrolled every forum, you've seen every method, you've read every tip. you've trialed, and errored, and persevered... but you're still here. law of assumption, manifestation, belief, intention. but you're still here. you've been told all about shifting... right? you already know what shifting is... right? you should already know how to shift... right? but you're still here.

this letter is not intended to debase or invalidate those who do already believe in those things and who are satisfied with that. this is for those who have been trying that way for 2 years, 5 years, and more, and still haven't shifted. this is for those who might want an alternative perspective.

what you've been told

in my personal opinion, the online shifting community as it currently stands is very... rigid. narrow. there are a few dominant views, and then the many who drown out any possible dissent or disagreement. i do understand why this happens. reality shifting is already a marginal belief, hounded by anti-shifters and disbelieved and debunked on all sides, so it makes sense that people feel the instinct to close ranks at any sign of an outsider. unfortunately, this has led to a community that raises its hackles at even other reality shifters who simply don't believe the exact same way that you do. law of assumption. manifestation. intent. (and dare i say it, the multiverse.)

i don't believe in any of that, in the context of shifting.

now, wait! don't go yet, stay with me. it's okay if you do. i'm not intending to change the minds of those who already believe in these things. i'm not going to go at anyone and say "i'm right, you're wrong, and you must change your mind to agree with me!" that would be silly, and counterproductive. let's lower our guards, and extend an olive branch, please. if you feel these things serve your journey, then carry on. you're allowed to disagree with me, i won't be upset. you're allowed to think i'm wrong, if you want. literally no worries at all.

but i am a little tired frankly of certain ideas being treated as the only options, and often in a rude or hostile manner. if you are someone who has spent five years trying to shift, and you see yet another post that boils down to "all you have to do is want it hard enough" does that not hurt your soul? the following sections of this post are for those who these ideas have not been working for. for those who have not yet shifted. it's been two years. five years. more. and you're still here. are you open to another possibility?

what is reality shifting?

i've told you what i don't believe, but what about what i do? i'll try to keep this as concise as possible for the sake of brevity and comprehension, knowing i could potentially clarify in future posts. but please continue with the understanding that im a chronic overexplainer, and my curse is the fact that the extra words don't always actually increase understanding. bear with me.

reality shifting: broadly speaking, this refers to shifting your linear experience of reality from one, to another. this has been known by many other names in the past, across continents and cultures, even in pre-agriculture societies. i'd include ideas like persistent realms, quantum jumping, focus 21, etc. language is subjective, and people may describe or understand the same experience in different ways.

i believe reality shifting is a haphazard side effect of our limited ability to perceive and comprehend reality. let me explain. space, as we understand it, is three dimensional. but reality isn't. it's our bodies and minds limiting our perception and understanding that makes all of reality seem that way to us at surface level.

1D: let's consider a hypothetical one dimensional existence. everything would a straight line, and the only way to perceive anything else would be as a single point directly in front or directly behind you. forwards and backward. the 2D and 3D are beyond your limited ability to physically sense or feel, let alone to comprehend. Forget about the 4D (time). due to your lack of comprehension, you cannot move at will in two dimensional planes, let alone three dimensional space or even time. you are static, a single point.

2D: let's consider a hypothetical two dimensional existence. it would be a flat, infinite planar expanse. you might be a square, or a circle. you can move freely in two dimensional directions (forward, backwards, side to side), but not in the 3D. No up, no down. If you tried to perceive a three dimensional object, you would only be able to comprehend it as linear, a line on the horizon where it intersects your 2 dimensional plane. you would perceive the 3D as moving around or within you on its own, without the ability to direct it. the 4D, or time, if you could perceive it, would be static, a singular point at a time.

3D: what about our three dimensional existence? congratulations, you now are a form, such as a sphere, or a cube. you can move freely in a voluminous, infinite three dimensional space. Forward, backwards, side to side, up, and down. if you *try* to perceive the fourth dimension (time), you can only comprehend it as linear, a line where it intersects your 3 dimensional space. You perceive it as moving around or within you on its own, without the ability to direct it yourself. any dimensions higher than that, if you could perceive it, would be static, a singular point at a time.

quick 4D sidebar: clearing this one up now because this will confuse some of you who are involved in other communities. in many law of assumption and manifestation communities, "4D" has been used to refer to your imagination, inner world, a bridge to "higher vibrational states", etc. i don't use it that way. i use it in the sense of the mathematical concept, or linking three-dimensional space with time. 4D=time.

4D and 5D: so, time is the fourth dimension. that means it is four dimensional, yet due to our limitations as 3D creatures, we can only perceive it as linear. we perceive it as moving around us, without our direction, forwards, (or backwards in some cultures). what about the 5th dimension? the static one? the one we can only perceive one point of at a time? let's call this 5th dimension... reality. due to our limited perception, it may not seem like it, but time and reality are just like space in that all of it exists at once. if you were a 5th dimensional creature, you wouldn't see a bunch of different realities, you'd just see one the way we just see one 3D universe around us right now.

tip: think of it this way, if a three dimensional creature moving through time is only able to perceive it linearly, it may think that each point of time exists separately, passing by in chronological order. this would be like a character in a book, the character experiences each page one at a time as we turn the page. but we know that actually, the entire book exists all at the same time, and already did exist before we picked it up and started reading it, and continues to exist even when we set it down. the same is true of time, and reality. even if we perceive it as linear, or a point, all of it actually exists simultaneously, like space.

still, we can only perceive one point of reality at a time. i believe when we reality shift, we are by some freak of nature (or nurture) finding a way to trigger a "movement" in this "5th dimension," and therefor shifting our linear experience of time and our singular perceptual experience of one reality to another. ("movement" is a bit of an abstraction here, as movement generally refers to 3D space. you're not actually moving anywhere, you're already there, you just... can't see it at the same time as this.)

ok, so how the heavens do i shift?

if you read through all of the above, i assume that's what you're asking by now. "get to the point shimmer! how do i shift?" if you don't need intention, belief, assumption, manifestation, three gallons of water, crystals, or anything else then what do you need to shift?

if we boil shifting down to its absolute core, all you need to do in order to shift is to shift. (put down the pitch forks, and the flaming feathers and tar. i'll elaborate.)

shifting involves finding a way for us 3 dimensional creatures to trigger a shift in a dimensional direction that we do not have the capacity to perceive. so what i mean by "all you have to do to shift, is to shift" is that there is no physical movement, or secret password we can whisper that makes us shift, not inherently. it's sort of like being told to find your invisible and non corporeal primordial tail, and then swish it in a direction that doesn't spatially exist. find your "move in the 5D button", and then press it. except, there is no button.

so how do we "move" from one point of reality to the other? well, the first clue to this is in noticing what part of us is actually doing the "moving".

you don't make it happen with your three dimensional form. there is no body part or mass or motor function in your 3D body that triggers a shift. there's nothing that allows a three dimensional form to move in five dimensional directions... you just can't. your body stays here. that's good news actually, in my opinion. there is no need to force yourself into strange bodily positions, or chug water, or whatever else. your 3D body is irrelevant, because it's not going anywhere. you don't have to do anything with your body to shift. some people can shift awake, asleep, in the shower, walking around, etc.

you also don't necessarily do it with the fourth dimension, time. there is no specific amount of time that you'll shift after. it might seem you've spent a lot of time trying to shift, but the actual shift itself is instantaneous. some people shift their first try, and some of you might be on your second decade of attempts. again, the time factor being irrelevant is good news because this means it doesn't have to take time.

i also don't think we do it with just intent or belief. the intention word gets used so much it basically means nothing, but the general idea is that intent is the driving force that manifests your desired outcome. in the context of shifting, people use it like "set your intention to shift, and you will" or "intent makes you shift." or the dreaded "you just have to believe harder." personally, i don't think that's true. i don't think intention makes you shift. if it did, you all would have shifted by now, right? i think looking anyone who's been trying to shift for 4 years dead in the eye and telling them they just haven't intended to shift yet is honestly a bit cruel and unusual. some people who intend to shift will shift, but in my opinion, its a case of correlation, and not causation. there are also people who shift without intending to, or who intend to shift but don't.

it's also not really our thoughts that shift. or our mind as a concept, or our entire self. we know this because you don't turn into a comatose vegetable when you shift to a different reality. your thoughts, mind, and self here are unaffected by your awareness shifting away from it. if you successfully "permashifted" to hogwarts tonight, your self here would still wake up in the morning and go to work.

so what does shift? only our linear experience of our own awareness. so in order to reality shift, we just need to find a way to trigger our awareness to shift from one point of reality to another in a non linear fashion, and then integrate that into our linear experience. aha! you think. great! now how do i do that...? unfortunately, this is not an exact science (yet.) once you begin shifting regularly, i think it gets "easier" in some regards because you get a sense for how your awareness "feels" and what works for you. for those who haven't shifted, i can't say "take three deep breaths and recite the secret words, and then you'll shift." there is nothing specific you can physically do that will for certain make you shift. there's no secret passwords.

there is no key to shifting. the good news is, this means there is also no lock.

what we can do is get ourselves primed, into a state that increases the chances our awareness is triggered to shift. ie, find the "move in the 5D" button, (you know, the one that doesn't exist) and learn how to press it. and because it is our awareness that shifts, my "methods" have to do with priming your awareness for shifting. you don't need to believe, which is a good thing because it means doubts won't hold you back. you don't necessarily need to intend, which is a good thing because it means there are no secret blockages in your way. no "subconscious", no "reprogramming", no "delusion is the solution." you don't need any of that. you also don't have to do anything specific with your body or space unless you feel like it and want to. you don't need a script, but you can make one if you want. it's whatever, it's irrelevant darling, it's non-consequential.

these three methods below basically encompass all shifting methods out there. i might expand on techniques for these methods later, but for now i'll go over the basics.

method one: pure awareness

it basically boils down to two steps. get into a state of pure awareness, and then shift.

the first step for this method is actually a simple one, sort of, but i think it's unkind to call it easy. it can be easy, if you just happen to have a perfect technique that works for you on your first try. if so, congrats! if not, don't despair. it comes more naturally to some than others, at first. you can probably build the skills and try different techniques necessary for you to get there.

but what is pure awareness? it's currently very often being called "the void state", but i'm not using that term for a few reasons. one, i think using the term "the void state" or calling it "the void" is making people think it's some sort of place that they're trying to go. it's not. it's not a physical place at all, and that's kind of the point. most of the time, your awareness is perceiving reality through the confines concept of 3D reality, because that's the data input it's receiving from your brain and body. that grounds you in this reality, and allows you to go about your day to day life. your goal with the pure awareness method is to focus on just your awareness, absent of all 3D distraction data and input. that way, your awareness is primed to be triggered to shift its focus to the 3D perception of a different point of reality when you come out of that state.

i might make a post about techniques for getting into the state of pure awareness, but this post is already long enough.

method two: destabilization of awareness

this method gets over complicated, but it basically boils down to two steps. destabilize your awareness, and then shift.

honestly, most shifting methods i see online are in some way doing this. lucid dreams, the hypnogogic state, SATS, self-hypnosis, "symptoms", and also all those iterations of the "raven method" the "staircase method" the "alice in wonderland method" etc are all basically ways to destabilize your awareness from the linear perception it is so used to in this point of reality, offering the opportunity of triggering a shift to a different one. they're all sort of either distracting or subverting your focus on the 3D here in this point of reality.

basically, you'll be trying to discombobulate yourself to the point your awareness is not focused on 3D reality, and trigger a shift.

method three: absence of awareness

sleep method gang, rise up. i'm serious. this method involves reducing your awareness to zero, or as close to it as possible, another potentially prime state to trigger a shift. (and by sleep method, i don't mean lucid dreamers or SATS, i mean simply going to sleep here, having a period of complete unawareness, like totally dreamless sleep, and then waking up in your DR.)

this absence of awareness during sleep is (in my experience) the most common cause of accidental or unintentional shifts, but you might be one of those who can trigger a shift to desired realities with this too.

sleeping is not the only way to get to the state of the lack of awareness. i'd say total distraction methods also count for this. you're not asleep, your body is awake, but you're so "zoned out" (or alternatively in a meditative state such that) you're absolutely not aware of the 3D experience of this point of reality anymore.

this is completely different from the state of pure awareness by the way, because in the state of pure awareness you are aware. like, in pure awareness you have a full train of thought and total control. the absence of awareness is the opposite. it feels sort of like a "blip" where reality time and space passed you by and you were not aware of it.

[itsrlymine]

i apologize for the really long ask but i really wanted to share my thoughts and i would make my own loa blog but i dont have it in me to deal with anons so i fear i will dump them all on you 😔 first off i want to say THANKKKK YOUUUUUU you literally changed my manifestation journey i used to be really into manifestation back in 2021/2022 and i was trying to manifest my dream face but it never happened no matter how much i affirmed or listened to subs or anything so i was just like fuck it this manifesting stuff isnt real imma just move on with my life and thats how i went about my life until you popped up on my dashboard a month ago and usually i would click not interested on any loa content but i was like you know what lemme give this stuff a chance again bc i did try the non manifesting route and it didnt work out bc when i tell you my life went DOWNHILL i used to protect myself from negative experiences by having the belief that i was simply the exception to terrible stuff but the moment i left the loa behind and was like no thats unrealistic anything can happen well guess what!! so many bad stuff happened in my life the last 2 years its genuinely crazy. so i was like lemme try this again and i went through your blog and really tried to materialize everything you were saying and read it with the attitude that what you are saying IS real instead of the doubting attitude i had towards loa advice/info back in 2022 and things really shifted for me.

so the first thing i learned is that MANIFESTATION IS REAL and more importantly NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE what i went through these past two years was proof to me that manifestation is real because once i adopted that negative mindset and dropped any positive beliefs i had my life became a nightmare and all those terrible thoughts manifested right before my eyes. for example i used to believe that i always looked pretty no matter what, this was just something part of my belief system but when i abandoned the law and everything i told myself no thats crazy i cant mAniFeSt looking pretty its unrealistic if im not pretty then im just not and bro when i tell you i was at my lowest appearance wise I WAS AT MY LOWESSTT my classmates at school would come up to me and tell me i looked so different and so dull even my mom would say the same stuff to me and tell me i changed i also noticed a difference when i looked in the mirror. the reason why i felt like manifestation wasnt real was because it just seemed really crazy to me, i felt like things materializing out of nowhere and appearances changing drastically was just like something fantastical and just not possible here in the real world. well i am here to tell you that is NAWT THE CASE! the world is not logical and im gonna tell you why. most of us here have grew up religious, and whats more illogical than religion? there are so many stories in the bible where illogical stuff happen like youre telling me some guy can turn water into wine? doesnt that sound like something out of a fantasy movie? but it happened, right? you believe in the bible so you believe in all the stuff that happened in it even the magical stuff. and another thing with growing up religious is that we always hear stories about miracles where for example a neighbor who was really sick suddenly woke up completely healthy. and we also were taught that we can ask god for anything and that god can make anything happen. i remember when my dad would teach me about religion he would say that god can make the grass is purple if he wanted to. it isnt just in religion but also in another spiritual communities and stuff they also have their own stories where things that dont really make sense logically happen. this goes to show that the world and humanity were never logical and that illogical things can happen, they've been happening since the dawn of time. people just came up with their own explanations. so get that thought that you cant change your entire face because its too crazy out of your head because it isn't. anything is possible. we literally live on a rock and we somehow move and speak and talk and somehow atoms exist so pls get with the program aint nothing logical in this life and the sooner you come to terms with that the better. nothing is too crazy because existence itself is crazy.

the second thing i learned was that MANIFESTATION IS NOT A PROCESS. i used to hear this all the time back in 2022 and it never made sense to me i was always like what tf are yall talking about???? my understanding was that manifestation is the act of trying to get something, but i was so so wrong. everything changed for me when i started approaching manifestation with the attitude that i was reminding myself of what i have, not trying to get what i want. basically stop thinking of manifestation as manifestation if ykwim. to really understand this im gonna have to talk about the whole "decide that you have your desire > affirm that you have it > keep presisting" thing and break it down.

so what do people mean when they tell you to decide that you have your desire? does it mean saying out loud "i have __" and then a few seconds going "alright wheres my ___?" no. it means you in your mind decide that its ALREADY YOURS and that you ALREADY GOT IT. i dont know how to word this any differently because its so simple its literally in the words. im gonna try an example. im assuming that youre reading this with your eyes so you have eyes. are you trying to 'manifest' having eyes? when you say "i have eyes" are you using an affirmation to get eyes? is having eyes a desire youre trying to 'manifest'? no because you literally already have eyes bro how else are you reading this with your bootyhole??? so when you say "i have eyes" you arent manifesting via affirming, youre just saying it to remind yourself because well you have eyes. you arent trying to manifest eyes because you already have them. thats what it means to decide that your desire is yours. it means to stop treating what is yours as a desire because its literally yours. stop seeing it as something youre trying to manifest because you already have it, wtf do you need to manifest for? do you get it? don't think of doing this as you tricking your mind into thinking you have your desires because AGAINN you arent tricking anything you literally already have it. when you say "i have eyes" and you have eyes are you trying to trick gour brain? no. that sounds silly. im sorry that this is so repetitive but its literally that simple idk what everyone else is doing complicating the most simple thing ever.

and now, what do people mean by affirm that you have it? does that mean using affirmations to manifest your 'desire'? (i put desire in quotations bc you already have it since you decided you do) no. it simply means reminding yourself that you do. ill go back to the eyes example. if you were to say "i have eyes" right now would you understand that as some woo woo manifestation affirmation technique? no because you already have eyes. what youre doing is simply stating a fact and reminding yourself of it for funsies. you arent trying to manifest anything because you already have it. affirming doesn't mean tricking your brain or your subconscious that you have your desire or whatever, its just you reminding yourself.

and finally, what does it mean to persist? does that mean fighting for your life trying to convince yourself that you have your desire? no. because you already have it. it simply means that everytime you ask yourself "oh why isnt this showing up in my 3d?" you tell yourself "bro what tf are you on about were not manifesting anything we already have it are you crazy?" that's all. going back to the eyes example, you know you have eyes, so if someone came up to you rn and was like "hey did your eyes come in yet?" you'd probably think they hit their head or something because your eyes are literally right there its how youre seeing their dumbass. that's the same attitude you have to have towards your 'desires'. stop thinking of your 'desires' as desires, stop thinking youre trying to manifest anything, stop thinking you have to wait for anything to show up in the 3d or that the 3d is lagging behind or whatever, stop seeing manifestation as manifestation, stop imagining yourself sending in success stories asks when you get your desires, basically just stop dawg. you already have it. "dont contradict yourself" (although again you arent contradicting anything bc you already have it im just running out of ways to simply something thats already so simple). thats what it means to manifest instantly.

anyways thats all i wanted to say. im so sorry for the horrendously long ask i would make it even longer by talking about my success now but i think you would beat my ass if i did. bye bye love u

!!!!! you ate this whole thing up. y'all better come read this.

[welsknightenjoyer]

Cant wait for wc!scott to get hit by the realisation that in the time between milo's death and now, he has changed so much that he will no longer be the person milo remembers

[mashkaroom]

Translation thoughts on the greatest poem of our time, “His wife has filled his house with chintz. To keep it real I fuck him on the floor”

It’s actually quite tricky to translate. Because it’s so short, each word and grammatical construction is carrying a lot of weight. It also, as people have noted, plays with registers. “Chintz” is a word with its own set of associations. Chintz is a type of fabric with its origins in India. The disparaging connotation is from chintz’s eventual commonality. Chintz was actually banned from England and France because the local textile mills couldn’t compete.

Keep it real” is tremendously difficult to translate -- it’s a bit difficult to even define. It means to be authentic and genuine, but it also has connotations of staying true to one’s roots. Like many English slang words, it comes first from AAVE. From this article on the phrase:

“[K]eeping it real meant performing an individual’s experience of being Black in the United States. As such, it became a form of resistance. Insisting on a different reality, one that wasn’t recognized by the dominant culture, empowered Black people to ‘forge a parallel system of meaning,’ according to cultural critic Mich Nyawalo...The phrase’s roots in racialized resistance, however, were erased when it was adopted by the mostly-White film world of the 1970s and ’80s....Keeping it real in this context indicated a performance done so well that audiences could forget it was a performance.This version of keeping it real wasn’t about testifying to personal experience; it was about inventing it.”

One has to imagine that jjbang8 did not have the origins of these phrases in mind when composing the poem, but even if by coincidence, the etymological and cultural journeys of these two central lexemes perfectly reflect the themes of the poem. The two words have themselves traveled away from the authenticity they once represented, and, in a new context, have taken on new meanings -- the hero of our poem, the unnamed “him”, is, presumably, in quite a similar situation.

Setting aside the question of register, of the phonology, prosody, and meter of the original, of the information that is transmitted through bits of grammar that don’t necessarily exist in other languages -- a gifted translator might be able to account for all of these -- how do you translate the journey of the words themselves?

In my translations, I decided to go for the most evocative words, even if they don’t evoke the exact same things as in the original. The strength of these two lines is that they imply that there’s more than just what you see, whether that’s the details of the story -- what’s happening in the marriage? how do the narrator and the husband know each other? -- or the cultural background of the very words themselves. I wanted to try and replicate this effect.

Yiddish first:

זייַן ווייַב האָט אָנגעפֿילט זייַן הויז מיט הבלים

צו בלייַבן וויטיש, איך שטוף אים אופֿן דיל. zayn vayb hot ongefilt zayn hoyz mit havolim.

tsu blaybn vitish, ikh shtup im afn dil

This translation is pretty direct. There is a word for chintz in Yiddish -- tsits -- but, as far as I can tell, it refers only to the fabric; it doesn’t have the same derogatory connotation as in English. I chose, instead, havolim, a loshn-koydesh word that means “vanity, nothingness, nonsense, trifles”. In Hebrew, it can also mean breath or vapor. I chose this over the other competitors because it, too, is a word with a journey and with a secondary meaning. Rather than imagining the bright prints of chintz, we might imagine a more olfactory implication -- his wife has filled his house with perfumes or cleaning fluids. It can carry the implication that something is being masked as well as the associations with vanity and gaudiness.

Vitish -- Okay, this is a good one. Keep in mind, of course, that I’ve never heard or seen it used before today, so my understanding of its nuances is very limited, but I’ll explain to you exactly how I am sourcing its meaning. The Comprehensive Yiddish-English Dictionary (CYED) gives this as “gone astray (esp. woman); slang correct, honest”. I used the Yiddish Book Center’s optical character recognition software, which allows you to search for strings in their corpus, to confirm that both usages are, in fact, attested. It’s a pretty rare word in text, though, as the CYED implies, it might have been more common in spoken speech. It appears in a glossary in “Bay unds yuden” (Among Us Jews) as a thieves cant word, where it’s definted as נאַריש, שרעקעוודיק, אונבעהאלפ. אויך נישט גנביש. אין דער דייַטשער גאַונער-שפראַך --  witsch -- נאַריש, or “foolish, terrible, clumsy/pathetic. not of the thieves world. in the German thieves cant witsch means foolish”. A vitishe nekeyve (vitishe woman) is either a slacker or a prostitute. I can’t prove this for sure, but my sense is that it might come from the same root as vitz, joke (it’s used a couple of times in the corpus to mention laughing at a vitish remark -- which makes it seem kind of similar to witty). I assume the German thieve’s cant that’s being referred to is Rotwelsch, which has its own fascinating history and, in fact, incorporates a lot of Yiddish. In fact, for this reason, some of the first Yiddish linguists were actually criminologists! What an excellent set of associations, no? It has the slangy sense of straightforward of honest; it has a sense of sexual non-normativity (we might use it to read into the relationship between the narrator and the husband) -- and a feminized one at that; it was used by an underground subculture, and, again, the meaning there was quite different -- like the “real” in “keeping it real” it was used to indicate whether or not someone was “in” on the life (tho “real” is used to mean that the person is in, while “vitish” is used to mean they’re not). It’s variety of meanings are more ambiguous than “keep it real”, which can pretty much only be read positively, and it also brings in a tinge of criminality. Though it doesn’t have the same exact connotations as “keep it real”, I think it’s about as ideal of a fit as we’ll get because it’s equally evocative of more below the surface. I also chose “tsu blaybn vitish”, which is “to stay vitish”, as opposed to something like “to make it vitish” to keep the slight ambiguity of time that “keep it real” has -- keeping it real does< I think, imply that there is a pre-existing “real” to which one can adhere, so I wanted to imply the same.

The rest is straight-forward. “Shtup” is one of a few words the Comprehensive English-Yiddish Dictionary (CEYD) gives for “fuck”, and I think it has a nice sound.

Ok, now Russian

женой твой дом наполнен финтифлюшками

чтоб не блудить с пути, ебемся на полу

zhenoy tvoy dom napolnin fintiflyushkami.

shtob ne bludit’ s puti’, yebyomsya na polu

In order to preserve, more or less, the iambic meter, I made a few more changes here -- since Russian, unlike Yiddish, is not a Germanic language, it’s harder to keep the same structure + word order while also maintaining the rhythm. I would translate this back to English as:

“Your house is filled with trifles by your wife. To not stray off the path, we’re fucking on the floor”

So a few notes before we get into the choice of words for “chintz” and “keep it real”. To preserve the iamb, I changed “his” to “your”. This changes the lines from a narration of events to some outside party to a conversation between the two men at the center. Russian also has both formal and informal you (formal you is also the plural form, as is the case in a number of other languages). I went with informal you because I wanted to preserve the fact that his wife has filled his house not their house, as someone pointed out in the original chain (though I don’t think that differentiation is nearly as striking in the 2nd person) and because it’s unlikely you’d be on formal you with someone you’re fucking (unless it’s, like, a kink thing). I honestly didn’t even consider making it formal, but that would actually raise a lot of interesting implications about the relationship between the speaker and the husband, as well as with what that means about the “realness” of the situation. Is, in fact, the narrator only creating a mirage of a more real, more meaningful encounter, while the actual truth -- that there is a woman the husband has made promises to that he’s betraying -- is obscured? that this intimacy is just a facade? Is there perhaps some sort of power differential that the narrator wishes to point out? Or perhaps is the way that the narrator is keeping it real by pointing out the distance between the two of them? there is no pretense of intimacy, the narrator is calling this what it is -- an encounter without deeper significance?

Much to think about, but I actually think the two men do have history --  i think the narrator remembers the house back when it was actually only “his house” and was as yet unfilled with chintz. We also don’t know what they were calling each other prior to this moment. This could be the first time they switched to the informal you. 

Ok moving on, I originally translated it as “твой дом наполнен финтифлюшками жены”. Honestly, this sounds more elegant than what I have now, but I ultimately though removing the wife from either a subject or agent position (grammatically, I mean) was too big a betrayal of the original. The original judges the wife. She took an active role in filling the house. If she were made passive, that read is certainly a possible one -- perhaps even the dominant one -- but it could also read more like “we are doing this in a space filled with reminders of his wife and the life they share” -- the action of filling is no longer what’s being focused on. Why do I say the current translation is inelegant? I feel you stumble over it a little, because it’s almost a garden path sentence. This is also an assset though. “Zhenoy tvoy dom napolnen” is a fully grammatical sentence on its own, and it means “Your house is filled by your wife” -- as in English, the primary read is that the wife is what the house is full of. If the sentence makes you stumble, perhaps that’s even good -- we focus, for good reason, on the relationship between the two men, but in a translation, the wife is able to draw more attention to herself.

Ok, chintz: I chose the word “финтифлюшки” (fintiflyushki), meaning trifle/bobble/tchotchke, because it, allegedly, comes from the german phrase finten und flausen, meaning illusions and vanity/nonsense. Once again, I like that the word has a journey, specifically a cross-linguistic one.

Keep it real: this one, frankly, fails to capture the impact of the original, in my opinion, but allow me to explain the reasoning. “Stray off the path” implies, again, that there is some sort of path that both the narrator and the husband were on before the wife and the chintz -- and one they intend to continue taking, one that this act is a maintenance of. It brings in a little irony, since the husband very much is straying from the path of his marriage. “Bludit’“ can also mean to be unfaithful in a marriage (as, in fact, can “stray”). The proto-slavic word it comes from can mean to delude or debauch -- they want to do the latter but not the former.

As for register -- “shtob” is a bit informal. I would write the full version (shto by) in an email, for example. The word for fuck, yebyomsa, is from one of the “mat” words, the extra special top tier of russian swears, definitely not to be said in polite company (and, if you are a man of a certain generation or background, not in front of women; it’s not that the use of mat automatically invokes a male-only environment, but if we’re already thinking that deeply about it. But while we’re on the topic, i will say that in my circles in the US, women use mat much more actively than men (at least in front of me, who was, up until recently, a woman and also a child).)

Ok i think that’s all the comments i have!

[luvyeni]

ROADTRIP ,, 한지성 이필릭스

pairing ‎⸝⸝⸝ lee felix x han jisung x fem!reader wc. 5k+

genre. smut, b2l, poly relationship

𓄷 iηcℓudᥱs ... threesomes, heavy mxm themes, dry humping, soooo much sexual tension, car sex?, voyeurism, unprotected sex, oral sex ( m. receiving ),

nia's notes. been a minute since i posted a long one and since its the theme is fitting.

ׁ ׅ ୨ ❪ masterlist! ❫ ୧ ⊹ ࣪

although you desperately needed this vacation; you hated packing for it.

“why do i need 3 different bikinis?” you threw the bottom's into your suitcase; felix on the other side of the phone. “because we'll be there for three days, dummy.” you scoffed. “yes three, but i won't be in a bikini the entire weekend; why not two?” you asked. “well one for the beach; two for the pool— wait, why do i need two for the pool?”

“yn i don't know; jisung was the one to say you needed five— no i don't care she is asking too many questions, if you're gonna be a pervert don't invite me in it, say you want her in a bikini all weekend and go.” you laughed at your two best friends. “yn he wants to see you in a bikini all weekend.”

“i-i never said- why do you both do this to me? the boy whined. “i just asked how many bikinis do girls normally bring on vacation? five was just a random number.” he tried to explain himself. “sungie no need to defend yourself so much if you don't mean it, you must really want to see me in a bikini.” you heard him sigh. “im gonna crash this car.”

the three of you met during your first years of university; all of you fresh out of highschool, unaware of what you wanted to do; taking comfort in each other's company, spending the next three years glued to each other, spending weekends and holidays together; studying together, sleeping over each other's apartment everything.

a month before; during the finals, it took a lot out of all of you, so you came up with the idea of going on a summer road trip, staying in an airbnb, and just having fun together.

“we're outside, hurry up , I want to make it to the airbnb as soon as possible, it's still early we can order dinner.” felix said. “okay I'm coming now, let me just grab my hair brush.” you said. “I'll be down there soon.” you hung up the phone.

jisung sat in the back seat, felix using the passenger seat for his snacks for the trip there, watching you exit the door of your building. “jisung watching her like that makes you seem like a creep.” jisung rolled his eyes. “don't act like you don't look at her the same way, don't act like you didn't come to her call at 4am when her air conditioning broke.” the boy responed. “sure did” the boy confessed proudly. “ you don't know how to fix an air conditioner felix.” felix turned back to the boy. “she didn't have a shirt on.” jisung said, you opened the door. “i didn't really care about the air conditioner.”

“what?” you stood there while felix got out to put your suitcase into the car. “who didn't have a shirt on?” you asked. “you.” felix got back into the car. “would you get in the car, letting all the cold air out.” felix said; you ran to the other side of the car, getting into the back next to jisung. “hi.” you smiled at the flustered boy. “h-hi.” he looked out the window to mask his red face. “now when didn't I have a shirt on?”

fellix pulled off; beginning your three day journey. “i’m so excited.” you squealed excitedly. “i needed this, school kicked my ass this semester.” felix nodded, the GPS giving him the directions. “i want to go lay on the beach all day, the whole weekend.” jisung groaned next to you. “that's a lot.” you rolled your eyes. “of course you think so sungie, you hate being outside, period.” you chuckled, tapping his face. “i’m surprised we were able to drag you out of the apartment for this.”

“and miss you in a bikini?” felix commented from the front. “not a chance, you know how much material that is for our sungie that is?” that comment would have offended you; creeped you out if it were any other guys, but you guys always talked to each other like this, flirty banter and touches; but it never escalated— well except that time you and felix drunkenly made out at a house party. “s-shut up.” the boy stuttered out. “don't worry, I didn't bring five , but i bought three i'm sure you'll love.”

the ride was calm after that, felix focusing on driving, occasionally cursing at the drivers; jisung to your right, his earphones in as he took in the scenery. you scrolled mindlessly on your phone, boredom taking over you, you began to fidget— jisung took notice of this. “are you okay?” jisung asked, taking his headphones off. “i'm fine.” you smiled. “are you comfortable?”

“my legs are a little cold.” he watched you rub your bare thighs to keep them warm, he always liked your thighs, the plushness, he would often daydream about how they would feel if he laid his head on them, or squeezed them in his hands— or how they would squeeze around his head while he ate you out. “i-i can tell lix to turn down the aircon,” he said, gulping; trying to free himself from those thoughts. “no it's fine, i have a blanket i can use in my bag, but it's in the back.” he quickly turned around, grabbing the bag. “this?” you nodded, he handed you the pink fluffy blanket. “thank you sungie.” you threw the blanket over your lap. “here.” you scooted over, covering his lap with the blanket. “now we're both warm.”

that was his problem, he was too warm, and being under this blanket did nothing to stop his mind from running wild; which made his body heat up more. now you weren't dumb, you could feel his presence on you, every time you moved your legs he would look at your thighs then you, before turning back out the window— you thought it was cute, he was cute.

he was back to looking out of the window, when he felt your head on his shoulders. “turn the radio up.” you told felix, he did, telling you not so much so he could hear. “thank you lixie.” he could feel the heat from your breath on his neck. “i love this song.” he froze, feeling your hand on his knee. “you like this song sungie?” he nodded, you could practically see the gears turning in his head. “i-its okay.”

he was fucked. he could feel his pants tightening around his lower region, rubbing his knee, all the way up to his lower thigh. “y-y/n.” he whispered, you squeezed his thigh, he grabbed your hand. “n-not here.” He said. “why not?” you whispered in his ear, not really helping his situation. “he's not watching one is watching.” you managed to get out of his hold— there wasn't much of a hold, he barely was putting in any effort to ‘restrain you.’ “he can't hear us.” he felt the wetness of your lips on his neck. “and you know want this.”

your hand finally reached where you wanted, he looked down at you, desperation all in his eyes. “you're so hard.” you gasped; “what did you think about all the bikinis you get to see me in?” you palmed him lightly. “i bought them just for you.” he bit his lip, trying not to moan. “or was it my thighs.” you teased. “you haven't kept your eyes off them since i got into the car.” he felt you unbutton his pants, your hands making its way into them, running your hands along his clothed cock. “you're so big.” you pulled his underwear down. “poor thing you're leaking.”

he turned his head as a way to conceal his moans; you took his heavy cock into your hand, slowly stroking it. “fu-fuck.” he hissed as you ran your fingers along his tip. “i wish i could see it.” you said. “i bet it's really pretty.” you squeezed him, stroking faster; he threw his head back, making you stop as felix turned back. “ji?” his head tilted to the side, looking into the rearview mirror. “you good?”

he could barely answer, your hand still on his cock. “ye-yeah.” he stuttered. “my legs are just a bit tired.” he e said, the blonde haired boy turned to you. “y/n?” You hummed. “i'm fine.” he nodded. “we should be there soon.” he turned back around, both of you letting out a sigh.

you turned your attention back to the boy. “you gotta be quiet.” you kissed his cheek, keeping up your movements. “don't want him to hear you cumming all over yourself right?” you said. “you're gonna cum aren't you?’” he nodded. “then cum for me.” you commanded , he lowered his head, letting out a sigh as he came all over your hands. “fuck.”

you pulled your hands out of his pants; his mess dripping from your hands, his mess getting on the blanket. “do you feel better?” he nodded, his cheeks flushed. “you look so cute when you're cumming.” you wiped your hand on the blanket. “so cute.”

just like that you were back to doing whatever you were doing, jisung tucked himself back into his pants , looking around making sure no one saw what you were doing; putting his headphones back on; staring out of the window, you rested your head on his shoulder, innocently this time, closing your eyes, drifting off to sleep; so unaware that felkx knew what you were doing under that blanket, the look in his friend face as you kissed him, stroking his cock, making hard as a rock.

“we're here.” felix pulled into the house driveway. felix got out of the driver's seat. “jisung wake her up.” he grabbed his extra snack before grabbing his bags. “wh-what?” the boy stuttered. “um, because she's laying on you.” he scoffed. “why else would i ask you?” was the last thing he said walking up the driveway, jisung swore he saw a smirk on the boy's face.

“y-y/n.” He tapped you. “yn we're here.” you moved around, eyes fluttering open. “we made it to the house.” you sat up, stretching. “finally.” you said tiredly. “i need to stretch my legs; and unpack before dinner” you said, “you might want to go now, before felix tries to get the better room.” you got out of the car, he got a good look at your ass as you walked up the driveway.

he quickly packed up everything, still holding on to the blanket; opening the door, walking up the driveway as well. “you here finally.” felix said with a smug smile. “you got a good look at her ass?” he folded his arms. “i wasn't looking at her ass.” jisung tried to defend himself. “who are you telling me or yourself?” he walked away from the boy. “close the door on your way in.”

jisung made his way into the house, taking his shoes off, felix standing at the kitchen island unloading the alcohol and snacks you'd need for the week. “this house is nice.” he said , noticing your absence. “what? looking for yn?” felix chuckled putting away the things. “i was just wonder- she's in the bathroom if you'd like to join her.” he turned towards the boy, looking around the room, noticing his menacing smirk. “is it finally clicking?” he said. “i thought it would at least be a day before it happened, but not in the back of the car with me in it.”

jisung wanted to crawl into a hole and die as they teased him. “did you really think i didn't hear you moaning?” felix stepped forward. “jisung i’ve heard you moaning countless of times.” he said, caging the boy against the counter. “i know what you look like when you're cumming, remember?” felixs eyes wandered to his lips, smirking; backing up letting the boy breathe. “don't worry, i won't tell her I know.” felix said, “or what we've done.” jisung nodded. “but if all bets are off like we promised,” he said. “best believe i'm getting something out this week.” he winked. “doesn't matter who either.” was the last thing he said before walking to his room.

after you all unpacked, you joined each other in the living room where felix had chinese food waiting for you both; you talked about what you were going to do; shopping and spending the day at the beach. “and there's a hot tub.” felix said. “really?” you asked. “lets get in.” you jumped up. “i’m gonna go change.” they watched you run up the steps. “you coming?” felix asked jisung, standing up. “to the hot tub?” the boy was stressed, of course he wanted to, but seeing you both in a bathing suit may send him into a coma. “duh; if you are, hurry up and get dressed.” the boy followed behind you.

you made your way back down the steps, outside to the back of the house where the hot tub and pool where felix was heating the water up. “is it ready?” he turned to you, his mouth dropped open, the dark blue bikini stuck to your body— well what little of the fabric there was did. “what if you just take it off, there's no point of it?” felix smirked. “might as well give our jisungie a full peek.”

“you love to blame him, but i think it's you.” you said smugly, walking past him, his eyes traveling down to your ass, getting into the warm water, sighing. “maybe it's you who wants a full peek.” you tilted your head to the side, he chuckled, climbing inside with you , the water coming up to his waist. “please.” he made his way next to you “if i wanted to, i would just.” he stood in front of you, his arm coming to your back, finding the string. “fe-felix.” he smirked. “take it off myself.”

you heard a cough, you both pulled away. “jisung, you made it.” you smiled. “y-yeah, i was having a hard time finding my shorts.” he said. “get in.” you invited , he slowly got into the pool, sitting on the other side , completely different from you and felix; you were practically sitting on the boy's lap. “why are you sitting so far ji?” you grabbed the glasses sitting on the edge, filling the two cups with the alcohol, handing one to felix. “i got you a beer sung , I know you don't like strong alcohol.”

“look at her so caring.” felix teased. “she can be caring when she wants to can't she ji?” felix asked. “always taking care of you right?” jisung looked past you right at him, where he was smirking. “i like taking care of him.” you said, he took a sip of his beer. “you like when i take care of you sung don't you?” he could feel himself getting hard. “ye-yeah.” he stuttered out. “oh like she did in the car?” jisungs eyes widened. “please if im gonna sit here and watch you eye fuck each other im gonna say something, and it's not like she didn't know i saw.”

“i did, i just didn't care.” you shrugged. “why are you jealous?” you now turned to felix. “wishing it was you i was touching?” you floated back over to the boy. “making you cum?” the air had definitely shifted between the three of you. “or are you jealous that i was the one to make sungie cum and not you?” you knew what those two had, it just wasn't your business. “i could make you both cum right now easily baby, i'm not jealous in anyway.”

jisung didn't say anything, just watching as you both got closer and closer to each other , until felix closed the gap; kissing you, his hands traveling down to your ass, squeezing it. jisung couldn't believe his eyes, watching you both make out in front of him, his cock could though, it twitched with excitement.

your hands tangled up in felix hair as he pressed you against the hot tub, tugging at it. “fuck.” he sighed, pulling away; pressing against your neck. “lix.” you moaned, both of your bodies, grinding against each other. “wh-what about sung.” you finally acknowledged the boy in front— felix smirked, pulling away, lips covered in your gloss. “he's free to join if he wants.” the boy turned back to you. “he better make up his mind now, before i take you right here in front of him.”

“um.” the older boy gulped, he so badly wanted to get in between you both, but he was scared. “not tonight.” he said. “im really tired.” he said. “the door is always open.” felix was quick to drag you out of the hot tub. “good night sung.” you smiled. “fuck come on, i’m fucking hard.”

“oh fuck!” jisung couldn't get rid of his hard on, especially when he could hear both of you moaning on the other side of the wall. “fuck deeper lix.” his hands traveled down to his pants, palming his erection. “fuck, you're so fucking tight.” he pulled his pants down , his cock springing , he hissed as the air conditioned room hit his leaking tip.

he wrapped his hands around his base , moving his hands up and down, listening to both of you going at it , it didn't matter who voice he heard , all he could do was imagine what you two looked like; how high pitched your voice got when you were close, how deep felixs got when you tightened around him, letting you know how he was gonna cum.

before he knew it, cum was spurting from his tip , cumming all over his chest and hands. “sh-shit.” he cursed as his hand got all dirty, but he kept going, stroking himself over and over until he could hear both of you cumming, he followed right behind you. “fu-fuck i can't.” he whined , pulling his hand away from his sore cock, he heavily breathed , soft cock sitting on his stomach, covered in his release.

he got out of bed , his post nut clarity hitting him as he cleaned himself up with a towel, climbing back to bed, the sound of you both still going at it as he drifted off to sleep.

he got up the next morning, the house was still quiet— getting up stretching; rubbing his eyes as he made his way to the bathroom. he did his business, brushing his teeth before making his way back to the bathroom, felix standing there made him jump. “i heard you, you know?” he asked.

“we both did.” jisung looked down at the ground. “if you felt uncomfortable you should've said— i wasn't uncomfortable.” he said. “i wanted to join.” he confessed. “so why didn't you?”

“i was scared,” he said. “of what, she literally jerked you off in front of me.” he said. “i-i know , but this is different.” he said. “i just don't know what to do with both of you.” he said. “you just need guidance.” he said , inching closer to the boy. “let us do that.” he took the boys hand. “i-is she good?” felix smirked. “so fucking good.” he bit his lip. “you’ll fucking cum as soon as you feel how tight she is.”

“is she the only one you're desperate to see naked?” the blonde haired boy pouted. “not me?” he now had the boy pressed against the wall. “you don't miss how i feel against you.” felix could feel the boy's cock hardening. “i guess you do.” jisungs hips moved involuntarily, felix cursed; ready to go again. “w-we can't do this out here.” jisung stuttered. “why not?” felix hummed , grabbing the boys waist to steady him as they rubbed against each other. “you're about to cum, i can feel your cock twitching.”

the boy was right, he did know his body like back of his hands. “fu-fuck lix.” he cursed. “I'm gonna cum.” he whined. “then cum for me, no one is stopping you.” felix grabbed the boys face, kissing him hold him up as they both came. “fu-fuck lix I can't.” the blonde stop, wiping the drool from the elders face. “still sore from last night?” he smirked. “fucked yourself to sleep.” jisung whined. “stop.” felix laughed. “let's get cleaned up before she wakes up, you know she likes coffee and breakfast before her day really starts.”

“let's go to the beach today.” you finally had woken up, coffee and breakfast waiting for you curiosity of felix. “i want to get out of the house.” you said, jisung could see all of the marks felix left on you, all the way down to your exposed chest. “sure we can, it's why we're here.” felix sat down next to you. “ji you coming?” he nodded, smiling. “yeah.” you clapped. “great, let's eat and get dressed so we can go.”

after breakfast you all went to your respective room, doing whatever; getting dressed when it was time , making your way to the car. “you gonna sit in the front with me, or you're sit in that back and make our sungie feel good again?” you rolled your eyes, turning to jisung. “i’ll leave him be for now.” you climbed into the front seat.

the drive down to the beach was nice; the air felt good, jisung and felix looking at you and how beautiful you were. felix knew, he knew his feelings the day he kissed you at that party; jisung on the other hand , his hit him like a brick, and he didn't know what to do.

“she really is something.” they both watched you tan from the water. “yeah she is.” felix said. “so we both have feelings for her.” jisung said. “and she clearly likes us both.” felix saw you sit up , looking at them smiling, waving them over. “and us?” the freckled boy asked. “do you like us?” he pointed in between them. “i-i do.” he said. “i really do, i like you both.” felix smiled, grabbed a hold of the boys hand. “well then it's settled.”

you saw them walking up to your towel; hand and hand as they sat down. “and what is this?” you said, smirking. “what was said when i wasn't ear shot?” you asked. “the same thing i told you last night.” felix smirked. “well you know after you regained conscience.”

truth is, after last night, felix did confess to you; and his feelings for jisung. it was like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders , hearing him say that; holding that in by yourself took a toll on you, constantly fighting with your feelings for both the boys. “and?” you looked at both of them. “fortunately for you, you’ll never have to use that useless ass vibrator you keep in your top drawer.”

hearing that he felt the same made your heart swell; never did you think you'd be here today. “let's go back to airbnb.”

the sat in the back with jisung on the way back; you held his hand, leaving little kisses on his fingers. “she can be pretty loving when she isn't horny.” felix said from the front. “well that doesn't mean im not horny, im just really happy.” you said, kissing his cheeks, watching them turn red. “really happy.”

the three of you made it to your airbnb, taking your shoes off outside. “i need a shower.” you said, feeling the sand everywhere already. “join me?” you held your hands out. “both of you.”

you thanked the gods, the people who owned the house had a walk in shower, big enough to fit all three of you. “i fucking hate sand.” you ran the water, getting rid of your clothing, the boys staring at you, making you stop. “are you both gonna just stand there or are you gonna stand there and be perverts?” you climbed into the shower, the boys undressing, getting into the water. “fuck that's hot!”

“you're gonna have to get used it if we're gonna be showering more frequently.” your purred, felix seeing the look in your eyes, forming a plan in his head. “baby why don't you give our sungie some love.” he ordered. “he's a bit nervous about this whole thing.” you pouted, turning to the boy. “don't be nervous.” you whispered in his ear. “we'll take good care of you.” your hands raked down his chest, he moaned as your manicured hand wrapped around the base of his cock. “i promise.”

your hand moved up and down, running your thumb along his tip. “fu-fuck please.” he whined, giving himself to you completely. “feels good baby?” you kissed his neck. “so-so good.” he threw his head back against the shower. “get on your knees.” felix said. “get him off like you did me yesterday.” felix cursed, stroking his cock slowly as he watched sink down to your knees , taking the older boy into your mouth. “oh my god.”

you bobbed your head up and down. “pretty you can do better, take him deeper.” your hands squeezed his thighs as you took him fully into your mouth. “oh fuck , im gonna cum if you keep doing that.” he groaned, you gagged around his length, making his legs shake. “fuck fuck fuck.” his hips tangled up in your hair , pushing you down on his cock, holding it until he came. “fuck im sorry.” he said as you pulled away. “i got carried away.”

“don't worry she likes it, look at her face.” felix got tired of watching, grabbing your hair much like jisung did. “told you, look at her drooling over my cock.” he tapped his tip on you lips. “open.” he commanded. “good girl.” he pushed your head down. “just like that.” he sighed. “love this mouth already.” he held it still as he abused your throat. “fuck.”

felix pulled jisung into a passionate kiss, his other hand grabbing a hold of the boys cock, which was even harder than before. “so fucking hard.” he groaned. “fuck does that feel good?” jisung nodded. “so-so good.” he whimpered. “i-im not -shit- I'm not gonna last.” he felt the sensation building in his stomach. “fuck me too, I'm gonna cum.” felix pulled out of your mouth, stroking himself and jisung. “open your mouth.” he let jisung go. “fuck I'm cumming.” felix groaned , cumming. “fuck!” he cursed , his release hitting your cheeks and lips.

“come on sung , cum for her look how bad she wants it.” the blonde hair boy encouraged the boy who stroked his cock, he looked down at you, your face covered in cum, lips swollen; the boy's cock twitched in his hand as he released himself all over your face.

giving up on the shower , the three of you stepped out ,hands all over each other's as you made a way to the bedroom, the bed getting wet from your bodies as you climbed on top of jisung. “you ready?” he nodded, you slowly sunk down on him. “fuck he's so big.” you moaned out, as you fully took him in. “don't move yet.” felix got behind you, holding your waist. “think you can take us both?”

you nodded, moving your ass against him; this made jisung moan. “easy.” felix said. “don't make him cum before i get inside you.” his hissed as he pressed the tip of his cock against your already filled cunt. “fuck, baby it's okay.” he slowly bullied his cock inside you. “goddamn.” he sighed , you we holding yourself up planting your hands right besides jisungs head, as felix filled your cunt, both the boys inside you now. “wa-wait fuck.” jisung whined.

he could feel it all, the tightening from your cunt, the twitching from felixs dick— it was all too much. “shit if you don't move, im gonna cum.” he said , sweat rolling down his forehead. “told you she was tight, you ready baby?” you nodded. “please move.” all three of you began to move, han bucking his hips up, as you moved your hips up and down, felix controlling how fast you went. “fuck let's speed this up.”

he gripped your waist as he began to fuck into much rougher, all three of you moaning out. “fuck i can feel both of you.” his voice was deep and dripping with lust. “fuck sung your cock keeps twitching -shit- you gonna cum?” the boy below, nodded. “fuck sungie.” you whined, “please cum inside me.”

that's all he needed before he was cumming; your legs shaking as you followed him , cumming; a white ring forming around their cocks. “sh-shit.” felix pulled out, stroking himself, his release sprouting from his cock, hitting your ass and jisungs thighs. “fuuuuck.” he finished himself.

the three of you laid down in felix; fully showered and dressed, your legs tangled up with each other. “so now what” jisung was the first one to speak. “do we just go home after this and never speak of it, or do we actually give this a try?” he asked. “how do we explain this to people?”

it was silent before you spoke up. “We don't explain it, it's none of their business.” you said. “i like you both, i want to be with you both.”

“yeah but people will talk.” felix scoffed. “let them talk , we all like each other and we aren't hurting everyone.”

hearing you both, jisung felt comfortable; knowing you both would protect him. “don't worry ji we both got you.” he smiled. “now what should we do tomorrow.” you asked. “i know what we should do.” felix smirked against your skin. “we aren't staying in the house the entire trip and having sex , I want to go shopping.”

jisung smiled listening to you both go back and forth. “we can easily do both.” he spoke up. “see now that he can have you whenever, he's gonna let his perv flag fly.” felix said , your head resting on his forearm as he ran his fingers through jisungs hair. “st-stop calling me a perv.” he said. “did you give her back the black panties you stole?" you shot up in shock.

“i thought i lost those, i swore i was going crazy !”

©️LUVYENI

[filurig]

new little silly, eernah... she's a hooftender from a settlement not super far away from vätterunda, but seperate from Ehrumnen, Gahuurn. Moar little things about stuff i have thought about in relation to her below

a hooftender is a hrumeh (bäckahäst...ian) occupation that like the name implies takes care of hoof maintenance. some do take care of hoof maintenance on their own but the convenience of hooftenders is appreciated, especially during seasons of accelerated hoof growth, as well for hruma who cannot take care of them on their own due to things like old age, disability, etc. hooftenders also will take care of medical issues related to the hooves, so generally they tend to have a medical education as well specifically concerning hooves/feet.

reason why she will pop up in pareidolia despite not being from the most relevant hruma settlement in pareidolia (ehrumnen) is because during every hrumeh spring festival, hruma from different settlements will often gather to mingle and find potential partners. most festivals are set up in one area, often a grove, seperate from the settlements which young hruma make a journey to for the duration of the festival. and the festival Happens in pareidolia which selma goes to

Yes she is trans and i have pondered how hruma culture treats trans ppl and its a bit complicated, a bit negative (although there are probably some cultures who arent as negative but the ones im talking about are ehrumnen, gahuurn and adjacent settlements). ill just paste a discord screenshot for the general idea of their family/gender dynamics;

but yes this is also all very prefaced by the fact that most hruma societies percieve gender and sex to be very correlated if not one in the same and it doesnt only affect trans hruma but also gender nonconforming hruma. being a stag who wants to be more present in his children's lives than what is "normal" is seen as a bit overbearing, emasculating and also condescending to his hinds. a hind that wants work even after having had fawns (and before they are independent) is seen as irresponsible and weak. a trans hruma who lives in a different way of what is expected of their sex, while not treated with as much violence as is typical for humans, are shunned socially often in a bit of a condescending way - like they are what they are out of immaturity and an inability to accept what role they are best fit for in society. ive still gotta ponder this more and there might be religious overtones to the reasons as to why this stuff is quite established culturally to many hruma but yea

[abnomi]

IDK if i was the first to notice this or not but i havent seen anyone talk about this before!! i love going crazy over colors and now is my Chance.

something subtle but notable about Ralph's design is how he has a teal undershirt. (debatably turquoise or green or something, but it is teal in this post..sorry green/turquoise truthers...)

i wondered for a bit why exactly that was a feature of his design, as it stood out to me for some reason; its a contrasting color to red, his main color, of course, so i brushed it off as an accent.

upon further inspection, however, what does that mean with the knowledge we have of him wanting to be good? or about who he shares a connection with?

green/blue is generally known to symbolize goodness, as its the opposing color to red, a color that can represent evil or danger depending on its context.

as you can see here, this crude caricature of Ralph is lacking that extra pop of color; the nicelanders dont see the good inside of him, only seeing the external deep red hues :-(

it doesnt end there, though. which character in this film is represented by a certain teal color?

someone Ralph carries close to his heart, someone who helped define his personhood and who he is internally. that spunky racer girl who relied on him just as he relied on her. not just a glitch, but Vanellope.

Vanellope represents someone who is able to accept herself and grow stronger because of it, and in exploring her own identity, Ralph took a journey of his own alongside her. she's a figure of love, passion, and resistance. taking this into account, her main color symbolizes the same.

we can also see bits of red in Vanellope's design!

interestingly, the main spots we see it in are her licorice hair tie, the stitches and strings of her hoodie, and the bottom of her shoes.

now i could be overanalyzing this a bit, but each of these features have something in common: they're all used for support. the tie supports her hair, the threads keep her hoodie together, and her shoes let her run around and be a kid safely. yeah, she made all of those by herself on her own terms, but Ralph supports her too, right? shes the heart and hes the practicality.

not to mention the MEDALS OHHH the medals. beware ⚠️🚨 im going to overanalyze this like crazy ok let me be neurodivergent about this

all three of these medals have differences that could mean a variety of different things. I'll break each one down individually:

Vanellope's gift

handmade with love, the medal itself is teal (if we ignore the brown underside). as stated before, teal implies love and resistance. this is also quite obvious due to the gift being heart-shaped.

relating to that last point, notice how he wears it close to his chest? it's practically a second heart to him! what else is close to his chest? TEAL UNDERSHIRT. wow!!! so that love was there with him the whole time!

the ribbon itself is pink, not blue or red like traditional medals. this is less significant, i will admit, but i find it nice how its so simple yet defies what a "real" medal is meant to look like, ESPECIALLY in relation to Ralph's expectations as to what a medal should be.

Hero's medal

It's a reflective gold, something that hypnotized Ralph immediately upon being greeted with it (kind of like a certain racer heeheheehoo)... this is all pretty obvious; gold is for winners, and supposedly, only heros can be winners.

something a little less obvious, though, is the blue of his ribbon. so, why is it blue, specifically? now, this isn't teal, this is more of a royal blue. something similar to Felix's palette... a hero. Ralph treats goodness as something attainable, love as transactional. it's not real, it's not genuine. he wears this symbol of heroism without truly EARNING it.

The cake

notice how the ribbon around his neck is red in this imaginary scene? the medal designed for Felix and his wins? his contrasting color? on Ralph, it's almost indistinguishable from his shirt because he isn't supposed to wear it. it wasn't created with him in mind.

ok ok just one more thing. ☝️ Turbo and Ralph parallel with their color schemes.

red as a color carries a dual meaning. on one hand, it can mean passion, love, adrenaline and strength. on the other hand, it could represent evil, malicious intentions, a warning, something dangerous. both Ralph and Turbo share red in their palettes; something to note, Turbo lacks any cool colors.

Ralph is seen as evil when he is truly anything but evil. the red makes him a bigger target considering his position, but this red relates to him internally on a more positive level. its his strength, what keeps his softer core safe. above his teal undershirt.

Turbo is seen as this intense fireball who's just passionate about racing, a little tough guy who just wants to have fun. we all know that this isn't the case. he is dangerous, he is a cautionary tale, a warning and simultaneously a threat.

considering how much as the two parallel each other, its no surprise that they share a color, one that can be interpreted in so many ways. one that ultimately means the reverse for their roles.

[tls12lessthan3]

can i tell you guys about my interpretation of a no-scenarios relationship between kim dokja and yoo sangah. im gonna do it anyway. the thing about a no-scenarios relationship of any kind between kim dokja and yoo sangah, for me, is i really think it would be so difficult for a genuine connection to form between them because kim dokja ultimately dehumanizes and fictionalises her the same way he does yoo joonghyuk. like his specific brand of dissosiation works as him viewing the world through the lens of fiction and he applies that so heavily to yoo sangah when we first meet her. she and him already have some vague form of relationship by this point - i would not call them friends but he moved those cameras for her! he kept her secret! and she knew and trusted him to an extent. that is on top of their teamwork in the job interview.

but we know none of this when we first meet yoo sangah because dokja views her as a heroine who would never cross genres with him, and he erases their history together in the process. he does the same thing with her putting pepper in her boss's coffee - thats not something a perfect pretty heroine would do so we have no idea she did it until she tells us, because kim dokja sort of - filters it out. he smoothes down the edges of her reality as a person and all the 'out of character' things she does into an easily digestible character he can push away as 'from a different genre'. and this is a massive fucking disservice to yoo sangah!! for the same reasons what kim dokja does to yoo joonghyuk is a massive fucking disservice to him!!

shes not a heroine! shes not perfect! shes not from a different genre! shes just a person and she wants to be your friend! i think if they were friends outside of the scenario kim dokja would a) try and push her away and more interestingly to me b) he would continue to try and slot her into his worldview as a 'heroine protagonist' and i think that would really grate on her. especially considering how the role kim dokja creates for her has some parallels to the one her parents made for her. kim dokjas lesson over orv of coming to understand the 'characters' as people is analogous for the one he would need in real life - just like his relationship with yoo joonghyuk couldnt reach its peak until he stopped viewing him as a character, he would need a similar journey of realization to start really understanding yoo sangah. its only then i could see them getting really close.

[djpachipikachu]

doodle dump of unreleased aus that r still actively in my Brain Often but i dont post shit about them

⚠️warning for old art and blood and injury drawn and death mentions⚠️

———

magic lily au:

main theme -

summary is that leo is transported to the samurai rabbit universe instead of his family’s arms through a trifecta of his ninpo, mikey’s mystics that begged for him to be safe, and the ki stone sensing a hero in need

when leo lands in the world, he doesnt know any japanese aside from simple phrases he grew up with; “thank you”, “please”, “excuse me”, “help me”, “i love you”, etc

him and yuichi fall in love and he remains there for a few years ! however . theyve all known since the beginning that the ki stone would take leo back once he was healed. she was clear on the fact he was only there to be helped , not to live there . so yuichi and leo hold off the inevitable, despite leo missing his family horribly and knowinf they think hes dead , despite knowing how selfish it was to have one more day with each other , they avoided the ki stone until they go to the temple together and leo is ripped from the world without even a chance to reallt say goodbye to everyone

uhhh etc etc they were their first and last loves as they were both on the aro spec and didnt have a need to find that kinda love again they just . wanted each other and blehhh

i have a playlist for it as well ! my oldest au , started since i got into the fandom

UUAU:

[temp name]

my original usagi/tmnt iteration with miyamoto usagi as the main protag ! i still want to create a comic and really officially send this out so i wont spoil a lot, but !

the basis is that usagi lives in a post apocolyptic solarpunk society and is forcibly sent back in time to a cyberpunk city where the seeds of a war have begun to sprout, dropped in the middle of the highest tensions between three turtles and their eldest brother who is on the enemy side

doomed siblings, doomed toxic yaoi, doomed Everything, its inspired by idw and 2003 so what else is there to expect

only showing the beta design for usagi ! i have a lot of other drawings for this but again, spoilers

historical graves au:

this one is the most recent of the bunch, just putting my version of yuichi for rise into a more usagi yojimbo styled setting ! the story is entirely different from the fanfic and im still working on it But

yuichi is the great grandchild of miyamoto usagi instead of a distant ancestor , so the debt of the shogun’s assassination is that much heavier and Far more dangerous to hold. yuichi and his adoptive little sister, hana, have recently escaped the mass murder and pillaging of their rabbit village (the same one that mariko and kenichi and usagi grew up in) and are on a journey to find their aunt for sanctuary

along the way, they run into a lot of familiar faces, such as the hamato clan , who has karai as their jōnin ! also yuichi gets possessed by jei at some point

hes trans too so he “disguises” himself as a boy to be more hidden as they travel

ive got one more original iteration but theres like . nothing i want to share from it rn lmao

SOOO THATS IT basicallt !!umm if anyone wants to know more about any of these aus id be happy to answer ! u can request doodles of them too !

if u read this far ily and im kissing you

[enhastolemyheart]

IN THE HONOUR OF SPOOKTOBER, HERE ARE SOME FIC RECS THAT WERE VERY ENTERTAINING AND SCARY AT THE SAME TIME

These fics can be a bit disturbing, so read at your own discretion. contain smut/suggestive themes. warning has been given, pls beware with your decisions.

∞ THE DOLL HOUSE | @ja3yun

synopsis: when you're strapped for cash and an opportunity arises to help you out, you're stuck in a mansion with 4 human-like dolls who do anything but sit still.

BOY WAS THIS A JOURNEY! The concept is just very interesting and i think it is PERFECT for this month. All the dolls have different personalities and their dynamics compliment each other. As you're reading the series, you might fall for jake or jay or sunghoon. nah nah honey, JUST WAIT TILL YOU GET TO HEESEUNG!! it is absolutely insane but i quite loved it! he is ultimately the alpha (please💀) and you might not agree at first but just you wait. I love how they all are so different from each other, like jake is that submissive shy one, jay is your iconic flirty one and sunghoon i believe was cold to the mc at first. and heeseung, he was just a mix of all but nowhere a sub LMAO. if anyone wondering, hoon is my fav 🤭 I RECCOMEND, READ THIS!!!!

∞ DEVIL KNIGHT'S PREY | @/dollyun

HELP SHE'S GONE 😭😭😭 I REALLY DK WHAT HAPPEND BUT I STILL WANT TO SHOW HER APPRECITAION FOR WRITING SUCH AN AMAZING FIC. IF SHE EVER COMES ON HERE AND SHE SEES THIS, HI KNOW THAT THERE ARE PPL HERE WHO CARE ABOUT YOU AND ONE OF THEM IS ME.

it was so so so interesting and horrific but very intriguing all at the same time and I truly loved her fic. ALL PARTS OF IT IT WAS JUST SO GOOD. i remember sending as ask to her saying it was nothing like what i usually read but I enjoyed all through out. I don't remember much but I loved the 'devil games' it gave like mafia irl but no one does anything. in this fic, hee was my fav. ever since he was introduced (i believe he was silver mask), you could just sense the main character energy from his character and the way he talks to mc. there was something about her writing and it was jus very alluring how each character's story was written. my fav was the maze scene (ifykyk). If you love dark romance books, you would've loved this one. TRULY LOVED THIS ONE, I WOULD'VE SAID YOU SHD READ IT BUT WE CAN'T ANYMORE SOO-

∞ I WOULD GIVE UP HEAVEN IF I HAD TO | @drunkhazed

genre. step-siblings AU, pwp, dubcon, love triangle, fluff smut humor angst etc

it's not really as dark (now that i think about it maybe not dark at all) as the other two but i do think it's perfect to read during this season. ik ik it's not one but two step brothers and ppl hate it but hey, give this one a chance, trust me. im not a fan of step-sibling trope myself but this blew my mind. the whole time you read it, you forget they are step-siblings and you have to lowkey remind yourself. i like the plot, it honestly felt like watching a movie and i loved the humor. in this one, its sunghoon. he was just the type to tease and be cocky and behave all push and pull but im all for it. heeseung was sweet and cute, but sunghoon's character definitely dominated over hee's for me. the paris trip was everythinggg it just gave so much potential to sunghoon and he was just all swoony and ughh. IF YOU DON'T MIND THE STEP SIBLING PART, I RECCOMEND YOU READ THIS.