#its summer so im getting to see so much sunlight

[sunlightera]

one month on T!! ive been working out and have even more muscle in my arm now!! its the first time i've been really confident about myself and im just. aauggh im really excited !! i picked up my next month of prescription the other day and i just !! i cant wait to make this post for two months to see if there are any more changes!!

[talkorsomething]

genuinely tried to Be Asleep for like two hours this time and just couldn't. I think i'm cursed [unwell]

[honeytonedhottie]

get ready to get back to school⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🗒️

i can hardly believe that school is coming up. in like, two/one week. ISNT THAT ABSURD? i feel like summer just flew past but im very excited to start my junior year of highschool…💬🎀

BUYING DREAM SCHOOL SUPPLIES ;

when ur school supplies are cute, you'll feel MOTIVATED to put them to good use. idek what it is. 99% of my school supplies are pink and because of that im motivated to take good notes, study my notes etc because seeing the sparks of pink just make me so HAPPY.

so ofc this year my school supply list has remained consistent in its color scheme of pink, pink and more pink 🎀. some things on my school shopping list are ->

notebooks

a binder

dividers for the binders with adorable labels

pink and purple gel pens (along with black gel pens)

pastel highlighters

looseleaf paper

a fluffy pink pen

FIX UR SLEEP SCHEDULE ;

ik a lot of us (including myself some times) stay up for way to long and feel like our sleep schedule is BEYOND repair but it is not. u need to be getting back into a consistent sleeping routine that keeps u healthy and well rested not only for back to school but for ur own well being. you'll have plenty of time tomorrow for what u choose to stay up all night doing, i promise.

FOR MY ONLINE GIRLIES ;

so this year i'll be taking a semester online so i've been dabbling in figuring out the perfect routine for an online school regimen. one in which i could balance personal and academic life in a healthy way (get sunlight everyday, sleep on time etc) some things that im going to prioritize while doing a semester online are ->

♡ getting fresh air everyday

♡ going for a walk everyday and making sure to stay active

♡ NOT doing school work in bed

so a tip i've learned is that the things that u do in bed, your mind will like, associate ur bed with it. so for example if ur constantly playing video games in bed, when its time to relax and go to bed, when ur in bed your mind will be like "time to play video games". so i will not be doing school work in bed, also for a healthy change of scenery…💬🎀

♡ going out with my friends and calling them everyday so that im not isolated

♡ keeping a steady and productive routine

SETTING GOALS ;

lets be goal oriented, A+ academic barbies this year ✍🏽. to make sure that ur doing ur very best its important to set goals for urself. having something to strive for is a great way to stay motivated and disciplined during the year. my goal for my junior year is to keep my straight A streak and finish with my law distinction (im 3/4 of the way done). and ofc its important to break down ur goals, and i'll give an example of how i did this.

so in freshman year ik i wanted a distinction in law, and to get a distinction in law i would have to take 4 separate law courses. there are 4 years in highschool so if i took one law course per school year i'd have my distinction. but i wanted to expedite the process so i took one course freshman year, and two courses sophomore year. this year i will take one more.

this frees up SO much time for me to get another distinction and since i've already taken a course of business in freshman year, i'll strive for my business distinction too…💬🎀

if u dont know where to start with goal setting for school here are some ideas ->

♡ maintain ur current GPA or try and raise it

♡ never get below a B on any assignment or test

♡ do every single homework assignment (never take a zero)

STAYING ORGANIZED ;

staying organized is CRUCIAL for being successful in school. i use notion to keep myself organized during the school year. by putting down dates for tests in my calendar, ik when i need to start preparing. and by making a todo list everyday i can stay on top of my assignment.

if u struggle with school organization, set aside an hour a day to just make sure that everything is in its place. and it doesnt even have to be an hour, just set aside time every single day to make sure that everything it where its supposed to be. it'll save you SO much time in the future and you'll rly thank urself for it in the future.

and to end this post, i'll share some school/academic related affirmations 💗

🗒️ im literally the definition of beauty and brains

📔 im the top of my class

🗒️ i must have perfect memory cuz i remember everything im taught in class

📔 im literally a GENIUS

🗒️ i effortlessly stay at the top of my class

📔 wow, im smart, pretty, AND talented?? god rly does have favorites

[ghostboneswrites2]

( prison timeline , fluff ) since im a big cat person, Daryl goes for a run and sees a kitten all shrivelled up in a corner of the store he was looting. The first thing that popped on his mind was reader considering her constant ramblings about how cute they are. He ofcourse couldnt see the vision though. So he took it in for reader's sake and had it cuddle up inside his vest while riding his motorcycle back.

Hello anon sorry for the wait 💕

Scraps

Warnings: none aside from the kitten being in bad condition when Daryl finds it ~ and mentions of dead bodies

Masterlist - Taglist - Daryl Dixon Summer Fic Challenge

As the sun beat down on him, leeching sweat from his tanned skin, Daryl felt annoyed. His clothes were sticking to him and the stupid store he was meant to be looting smelled like rotten bodies, especially in this Georgian summer heat.

Nonetheless, he had a job to do. We all got jobs to do, as Beth would say. So, he tightened his bootstraps and stalked inside, suppressing a gas as he looked around at all the dead bodies that littered the floor. Up and down the aisles, he quickly realized the place had already been taken for everything it had. With hopes of finding something in the office behind the counter, he broke his way inside, only to find dusty surfaces and and old papers scattered about.

He guessed whoever ran the place wasn’t the organizational type. With a sigh he finally decided to check around back for anything of potential use. The dumpster was turned over sideways, old trash bouncing around in the barely noticeable breeze. He crouched down and peeked inside the sideways bin, squinting in the sunlight. He had almost gotten up and walked away when he heard it. A tiny, pathetic little squeak. He focused his eyes, and caught sight of a tiny little black fur ball.

“The hell?” He muttered as two big green eyes appeared against the pitch blackness of fur. He reached his long arm in and gripped the little thing, pulling it out to look it over. It was scrawny, probably barely hanging on. It’s fur was sticky and matted, and it’s tail had some kind of injury that stunk almost as much as the dead bodies inside. “Ya ain’t doin too hot out here, are ya buddy?” He said softly to the dirty little thing.

Daryl was torn. One one hand, he had no time for a fucking cat of all things. On the other hand, he could practically hear your incessant ranting about how much you loved cats, and how badly you wanted one.

“Nah.” He shook his head and set the little thing down, pouring some of his water in an old cup for it to drink. “Y/N won’t know.” He assured himself. How could you? It wasn’t like you were there.

He sighed and waved goodbye to the little kitty, who hadn’t touched the water, only stared at him as it shivered to itself. He went to turn away, but he realized that the cat was shivering in the middle of the summer. He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, closing his eyes as he threw his head back in frustration. “God damn it.” He grumbled as he turned back and scooped up the little kitty and stomped back to his bike. “Fuckin’ cat.” He kept complaining to himself, all the while tucking the little kitty inside his vest and starting up his bike.

The trip back to the prison was longer than the ride to the little store. He had to steer with one hand as the little kitty was held snug against his chest by the other.

Back home, you were the first to greet him, as per usual. You thought he may have been hurt at first, as he didn’t typically ride his bike with one hand clutches to his chest. But, when he stood up and pulled a scraggly little kitten from inside his best, you practically screeched with excitement. He couldn’t get a single word in before you snatched the little baby up and looked it over.

“Where did you find this cutie?!” You asked.

“In a dump—“

“What’s its name?”

“Don’t have one—“

“What happened to its tail?”

“Damn it, will ya just listen?” He snapped, tired of you cutting him off. “I found it in a dumpster. Tails infected. Might not survive the night if—“

“Hershel!” You called out, skipping away from him as Rick strolled over to see what the commotion was.

“Was that a cat?” Rick asked with one eyebrow quirked up.

“Shut up.” Daryl glared, throwing one leg over his bone so he could properly go park it.

“What about the general store? It was empty?” Rick pressed on.

“Nothin’ but dead bodies and dying kittens.”

Later, when Daryl had parked and made his way inside, you were crouched over with Hershel examining the kitten, which Carl promptly named Scraps. Daryl caught the tail end of the examination.

“Well, I’ll need some supplies. Gonna need to amputate the tail, first. It’s necrotic. I’ll also need some antibiotics and some kitten formula. It can’t be more than a couple weeks old. It’s a miracle it’s survived this long without its mother.”

Your head snapped over to Daryl immediately, eyes big and watery at the idea that they couldn’t save the baby.

Hershel turned and looked at Daryl with a knowing look. Daryl groaned and shook his head.

“There’s a farmer supply store about a mile south of here. It should have everything we need if we wanna get this cat in good shape.” The old man told him.

“Just write me a damn list.” Daryl sighed as he went to gas up his bike.

@kissmeunicornbaobei @thesadcatt0 @clairealeehelsing @duckybird101 @tmntfixationxreader @ryoujoking @blackvelveteen1339 @yondus-girl @ladylincoln @sunshinebug9 @saylum559 @yoowhatthefuck @duffmckagansbandana @celtic-crossbow @virginsexgod69 @dazzling-roaring-20s @l0kilaufeys0n7 @uhnanix @superbowlisgay @liizzygrant @eddiemunsonsupremecy

[r1999isgonnakillmeoneday]

i have been getting a tad bit too obsessed with reverse 1999 lately and compiled some stuff around might edit it if i find more

this yapping session will be abt sonetto

her name is deprived from a fourteen line poetry called the Sonnet while also having the meaning of “little song or sound’

her udimo is a dog called Cirneco Dell’Etna a breed that originated from italy as stated in her storyboard

she doesn't know her date of birth and uses the date of when she was adopted by the foundation as her birthday (January 10th)

she's 16 yrs old

she's speculated to be 5'3 ft or 160 cm

her compliments are so sincere that people are often too shy to face her (the rizzler)

back in SPDM she was worried about vertin's arcane skill exams and tutored her privately

a helper in the SPDM once found a challenge letter with pink heart patterns in the trash bin (might imply that the letter was from matilda to sonetto)

sonetto is an artist as stated in her 80% bond story and glassfeder's description

sonetto likes collecting newspapers and treasures them

every year she gets a present from vertin on her birthday which is mostly a collection of poems

it’s implied (this is really obvious) that she has a crush on the timekeeper/Vertin and has also been implied sonetto's va during the reddit Q&A

on her medal she has an embroidered dog on it (i just thought this was cute)

since she doesn't know much about the outside world or her culture she doesn't see anything wrong with pineapple pizza or gelato pizza for that matter (april fools and pizza hut collab comic)

she keeps a frog in a jar in her room

time for voiceline analysis

"Sempre caro mi fu quest'ermo colle.”

this quote is derived from the poem L’Infinito by Giacomo Leopardi in the autumn of 1819 the poem is meant to show how he yearns to travel beyond his restrictive hometown of Recanati and experience more of the world that he studied.

this can also show the way sonetto might have wished to see the outside world just as she studied on the textbooks

"Regna sereno intenso ed infinito.”

a line from the poem Mezzogiorno Alpino written after a short stay in Courmayeur, Giosuè Carducci reflects on the clear Alpine landscape, with the aim of highlighting the power of nature.

the trees stood as if to enjoy the pleasure of the sunlight penetrating their branches, absolute silence dominates, broken only by the rustling of the river water.

this might show how much interest and adoration sonetto shows towards things outside of the foundation

“So long lives this and this gives power to thee.”

a line from the famous poem Sonnet 18 by William Shakespeare, where he used this poem to praise the beauty of his beloved where their beauty is more preferable than a hot summer day. theres a bit of a change in the lines "So long lives this and this gives life to thee." the original line used life instead of power, it wouldn't really make sense if they used life for a buffer it would've been more of a healing skill so i get it

(i actually don't know what link this has towards sonetto soo fun fact sonnet 18 was about a man)

"I know the moon and this is an alien city”

the line is derived from the poem A London Thoroughfare 2 A.M by Amy Lowell the meaning of this poem is the feeling of being lost in a busy city, expressing emotions such as loneliness and being overwhelmed and how the only thing familiar to the writer was the moon. (aight im sorry idk how to word this one again another fun fact Amy Lowell is a sapphic and likes to call her muse or lover Lady of the moon)

“Each moment, now night.”

One of the lines from the poem Night by Max Weber (not the sociologist, also not sure on what to write since i dont actually know what the poem actually means i like to think that its about the silence and darkness of the night to show loneliness)

so basically most of these references loneliness and adoration towards the things the writer wrote about which might link to how sonetto might feel adoration and curiosity for the outside world and how she might've felt lonely in the foundation after being closed off from the outside world

(sorry if some words might not make sense and for how many things i've kept blank i failed literature so feel free to correct me im always up for discussion, its funny the way i found out most poets are queer are because of this)

[paladin--strait]

JAMIEEEEEE ❤️❤️❤️❤️

yessss we love jamie ❤

honestly not sure if this is a request or not but heres a little something just in case it is haha

sorry if it's not what you wanted, let me know if you'd like something else!

the sun peeked through the blinds of jamie and I's shared room for our vacation in maui. the waves are crashing and creating a calming atmosphere for us while we sleep. I hear the birds chirping and the trees moving with the wind, with that beachy smell of sand and saltwater to tie it all together.

jamie's arms are wrapped around my waist from behind and he sleeps happily behind me. as I'm taking in the sights outside of our window while still in bed, I decide to let jamie sleep longer.

my hands carefully push his arms off of me and I sneak out of the bed and onto our porch. I take a seat on the padded chair outside, kicking my feet up on the footstool and taking in the morning sun. the air outside the cold room is warm, only getting hotter the longer I spend outside. I close my eyes and almost bask in the sun, taking in every ounce of sunlight possible while we're here.

the sliding of the glass door breaks my focus on my morning tan. I turn and see jamie, smiling at me with tired eyes. "goodmorning, jim jam!" I say with a smile.

"how long have you been out here by yourself?" he frowns slipping on his shoes before walking onto the porch and shutting the door.

"well what time is it?" i ask while he pushes the button on the side of his phone to turn it on, peeking at the time before turning it off. "its 9:03."

"well then, its been two hours."

"you should have woke me up and we could have gone for a walk on the beach." he says with a chuckle before standing beside me. "and we could've got breakfast too. im kinda hungry."

I belt out a laugh and jamie joins me. I love his laugh. even though jamie is a grown man, his laugh comes out it's like a loud giggle mixed with some wheezes, it's honestly hilarious. it really brightens up a room when he laughs.

jamie is the light of my life. I would do anything for him and he would do anything for me. he is the sweetest man I have ever met. a lot of my past relationships have ended badly since I'm the type of person to just trust people blindly, which ends up hurting me in the long run.

but jamie is different than all of the other guys I've met. I'm honored to have met him in anaheim and I'm still honored to have been with him all the way to philadelphia. and now we're here, in hawaii and enjoying our time alone together before we meet up with everybody else at the hughes' lake house.

jamie's hand takes a hold of mine and he pulls me up and walks me to the edge of the porch, our hands resting on the fence that keeps us from falling over. "I love you so much. thank you for everything." he says, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind.

later on that day, jamie and I were walking on the beach, toes in the sand when jamie got down on one knee and proposed to me. I of course said yes and cried in his arms soon after. I cried even harder when all of our friends popped out from behind me and surprised me with their presence.

I then learned that we are all staying in hualalai for the summer instead of the lake house and all of our friends are now with us for the rest of the time. this summer turns out to be the best summer I've ever had.

[raainberry]

As NAYEON'S birthday and her giving us "No problem" live performance!

You gotta try It!! (If not busy ofc)

Idol;Im Nayeon. Song "No problem " by Nayeon

No Problem

« An absolute bop that Nayeon sang specifically for ME to enjoy. »

Nayeon x gn!reader

Fluff

synopsis - a wave of fatigue pushes you to cancel on an early morning date with Nayeon. she doesn’t mind though.

wordcount - 1.5K

A/N - You are absolutely right anon I did try, but it took me a week to get inspired and I don’t like to force things so here we are SORRY, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO NAYEON THO 😬🎉

Maybe putting your bed against the window wasn’t the brightest idea you’ve ever had.

It was cute a few months ago, when spring brought its prettiest days. You enjoyed the sunlight, and the breeze on the hotter ones, reading books while your girlfriend napped in your lap.

Now that summer came to an end, though, fall announced itself with a few rain drops falling through the window before landing on your skin.

You retracted your leg into the covers, groaning to yourself as the light forced you to open your eyes.

You stared at the open window, feeling the same breeze that helped cooling down the room from the late summer heat of the night before.

The thick, grey clouds were nice to look at. Somewhat of a new and more interesting sight after weeks of clear blue skies, one you found comfort in.

It would have been cute now too if you’d just closed the window.

You sighed, sitting up enough to close it before letting yourself fall back against the pillows. You were too tired to stay up any longer.

It had been a very long week, filled with overtime and whatnot. It was all a blur, you barely knew what happened, but you sure were feeling the aftermath…

You looked at the time on your phone. 8:32am. You were supposed to meet up with Nayeon in a couple of hours. She wanted to check out this new café that opened down her street, but with the looks of things on your side, it looked like it would have to wait…

-

“No problem.”

You smiled at your girlfriend’s words as if she could see it through the phone.

“You’re too good for me.” You sighed dramatically, making her laugh.

“Why? What did I do?” She asked in between giggles.

“I just called you to cancel on something you’ve been looking to do, I feel awful yet you’re not even a little bit upset about it.” You explained.

“Y/N, you’re not feeling well, the least I can do is be understanding. It’s not like you’re canceling for no reason.” She assured. “I will be upset if we don’t see each other, though.”

You smiled once more, “I was just about to ask you to come over instead.”

“And I’m already on my way. We’re so perfect for each other.” She joked, making you laugh.

“Just hurry.”

And just that she did.

You barely had time to shower that she was already making herself comfortable under your roof.

“Y/N!”

“Yes, Nayeon, how can I help you?” You asked, rounding the corner into the living room where she was unpacking some takeaway bag.

The sound of your voice made her turn to you with the brightest grin, matching her eyes, and that’s all you remember before she crashed into your arms, hugging you tight enough to show you how much she’d missed you.

And just in case that wasn’t enough, she voiced it.

“I missed you so much!”

“It’s only been a week.” You chuckled, downplaying your own feelings.

“Yes, and look in what state I get you back.” She pointed out. “All worn out and not fun. You haven’t even kissed me yet.”

She pouted, removing any want and need to tease her from your mind.

“Well, you didn’t give me a chance to.” You argued.

She rolled her eyes in annoyance before puckering her lips. That earned her a long awaited kiss as you couldn’t resist the sight.

“You’re lucky you’re cute enough.” You smirked, earning yourself a push as she turned back to the takeaway bag.

“What did you bring?” You asked, looking over her shoulders as you wrapped your arms around her waist.

“Coffee from the new place.” She smiled. “You couldn’t go so I brought it to you.”

The gesture warmed your heart. She was so sweet to you, you felt undeserving at times like these. You knew she didn’t blame you, nor did she mind it, but you were still mad at yourself for not being able to push through this fatigue.

It’s been going for a few weeks now, but as you barely had time to recover, it only piled up with time.

Although it was new to you, Nayeon was familiar with the feeling. That’s why she was so understanding. You knew that, but still… She still made sure to include you in her packed schedule. She still made sure to show up.

You usually did too, which is why you couldn’t help but feel bad for not being able to return the effort this time around.

“You wanted to go that bad?” You frowned, feeling even worse.

“Yeah, it was so cute, Y/N you would have loved it! There were flowers and green everywhere, and the barista was so nice.” She gushed, turning around in your embrace to face you.

You put on a smile as quickly as you could, not wanting to bring her mood down on top of everything else.

“I’ll go with you next time, I promise.”

That promise, along with your smile, seemed good enough for her to overlook the negative.

She saw right through that smile you offered her, but she knew you didn’t want to sulk. She knew you wanted to cheer up just as much as she did, and that was her job.

So she simply smiled back, and handed you the coffee she’d ordered for you.

“Your favorite.”

“Thank you.” You let go of her waist to grab the cup, giving it a smell before bringing it to your lips.

“How is it?” She asked, curious. “Good, right?”

You nodded approvingly, “So good. I might just go live with you, and go there every day.”

“Very good excuse. I’ve taught you well.” She smiled, pinching your cheeks.

She loved to find silly things to use as an excuse to be even closer to you. The first one was the cold as you started dating last winter, which she used to steal one one of your sweaters. The last one was your place being closer to her workplace than her own apartment, which she used to sleep over last week, and a lot of other times.

“So what do you want to do?”

“I just want to spend the day with you doing nothing…” You said truthfully, inviting her to join you on the couch with open arms.

She happily accepted the invitation, and practically jumped into your arms where she felt herself get squeezed against your chest almost immediately.

“Will that make you feel better?” She asked, freeing herself away enough to look at you.

Her gaze held such care for you, all you could do was smile out of shyness. You couldn’t believe she she felt the same way you did about her.

It made you all giddy, leaving you with nothing but the urge to kiss her. It was the only way to express what you felt for her in those moments.

So you brushed a hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear before placing a kiss on her lips, where you tasted a bit of her own coffee.

“You have no idea.”

“Then it works for me.” She smiled, resting her head back against your chest.

The two of you ended up cuddling on the couch all day, alternating between lazy activities such as watching and commenting dramas, as well as napping. Sometimes, one of you would fall asleep during an entire episode, but only because you knew the other would catch you up on what you missed.

It was all simple, really, and maybe that’s what made you love that day so much. All you did was appreciate her presence, relishing in the warmth her body and mind provided in this cooling weather.

It was healing almost, how easy it was to be with her.

People painted love as this complicated, unreasonable thing. An idea you agreed with as you often found yourself wondering what even the point of it was.

But that was before she came along.

Sure, it sounds cliché, but that’s another idea about love that you agreed with. More and more, every day since you met her, and that day wasn’t an exception.

You went to bed with a heart even fuller of love for her than in the morning, and when she asked to spend the night again, you thought it would explode.

The stars were hiding far behind the clouds that night, but your window somehow made it all look pretty anyway.

The two of you stared up at the sky, enjoying how close you were to each other as if you hadn’t been glued together for ten hours straight.

At this hour, you usually talked about random things, emptying whatever weighed on your mind lately. Those conversations carried you through the night until sunrise a few times, but tonight was not going to be one of those.

Not a word had been spoken in a long while when you felt yourself drifting away. You fought it, wanting to stay in the moment for as long as you could, but it seemed like Nayeon was rooting for you to lose.

You rested your head on her shoulder, an arm wrapped securely around you while the other allowed her hand to wander around your scalp. She loved to play with your hair, she found it as relaxing as you did.

Good thing you loved it too.

You never stood a chance against this peaceful setting.

“I love you.” You mumbled, needing to get it off your chest before sleep knocked you out.

“I love you too.” She smiled, leaving a kiss on your cheek.

“Thank you for today.” You mumbled again, this time you sounded half gone, which amused her.

“No problem.” She said, squeezing you a little tighter.

Needless to say, you went to sleep with a smile that day.

And every day after that.

How couldn’t you with a love as easy as this one.

[aechii]

₍⁠₍ SPEAK NO EViL ₎⁠₎ ~ CH. 2

[ a kylian mbappe series ]

SYNOPSiS ! it's summer break, where, yes, academic freedom ensues, but for stellar, upcoming young football stars, an unmissable opportunity springs. bondy elite summer academy prepares its youth for the professional world, and inevitably, everybody is hungry to succeed. girl or boy. life isn't kind to 18 year old kylian mbappe, and being mute seems to be a limiting factor of his progress. but once he's accepted into the football camp, he's determined to prove that his football speaks for itself. yet, in the midst of fatal determination and apathetic competitiveness, he doesn't expect to grow intrigue for [y/n], a profound player in the camp's feminine unit, whose kindness and exquisite skill awakens a visceral feeling within kylian, showing him someone else that he could love in a world filled with hate.

PAiRiNG ! mute!kylian x fem!reader | fem!reader x oc!boyfriend

A/N !  i would like to first sincerely apologise for the super long wait. life's been 🫨 but we move. i just love how i’ve written kylian and ethan’s relationship here 😭 like im over here shitting tears and scraping paints off walls cos they’re honestly too wholesome and the best brothers to exist (canonically and prbly irl but who knows?). brice and kylian’s bromance is BROMANCING, lemme just say; im very proud of the characterisation i’ve established for everyone tbh. anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter! things get a little bit more yk 👀 so im very excited for you lot to read this hehehe. tell me your thoughts in my askbox, i’m very eager to know 🤍

SERiES MASTERLiST ! here!

TAGLiST ! [ ask here, those in bold i couldn't tag ] @sad1esgf @ts1mp0ne @fezlvr @ippid @kyksgirl @user6373738 @kenjekwownwjn @lalunaenamoradasworld @mywhimsyjournal @imagesthatlive @heli991113 @cinderellawithashoe

the moment kylian exits the car, he’s encompassed by a wave of thick disbelief. his eyes seem stitched to the grandeur building that stands before him; it’s all glass, glittering in the sunlight that bleeds incinerating heat upon the earth below, and it sends the boy into a frenzy. hasn’t seen infrastructure that screams money to such an extent.

he flaps a hand in front of his face, fanning himself, although rather futile. brice, from the other side of the vehicle, walks up beside him, crossing his arms as he leans on the door.

“wow… just wow.”

kylian turns to face him, arching an eyebrow, as he signs, “haven’t you been here before? moreover, many, many times?”

they’re in public, and as usual, kylian finds his throat go stagnant and brain go blank, so decides to use his hands instead. he’s ever so grateful for brice’s present at that moment.

“yeah, but,” brice exhales, almost wistfully, “it’s always better in person.”

“you’re right about that.”

kylian’s father rolls his suitcase towards him, dumping his duffel bag on top. a smile, a proud one, is ever present on his face, akin to kylian’s. he knows his father sees himself in him, has so much faith in him, and it’s a driving force of his purpose here. not just for him, but his whole family; a referral is the only thing that gleams in his conscience, knows that he mustn’t let the 5 weeks be in vain.

wilfried puts a gentle, fatherly hand on his son’s shoulder, a grounding gesture that speaks much to kylian’s mind. 

“do well, hm?”

“you mean, like i always do?” a cheshire grin fills his face, and it makes his father laugh.

“yes,” wilfried nods and chuckles, “like you always do, kylian mbappe.”

ethan materialises out of nowhere, hooking an arm over his brother’s shoulder. kylian almost pushes him off, but for the sake of goodbyes and farewells (for only 5 weeks, yes, but he’s never been away from ethan for even half of that), he tolerates his sudden attachment. 

“that hurt, you know?” kylian brusquely signs. ethan removes his arm as he returns a sheepish, “sorry,” before resting his head upon his brother’s shoulder. 

kylian exhales, then limply signs, “i’ll miss you bad.”

“it’s only 5 weeks?”

he looks at ethan incredulously, “only 5 weeks, you say? okay then. don’t call or text me at all.”

“you did not need to go there,” ethan’s response is deadpanned and immediate, making his older brother grin widely. kylian would definitely miss this. life will feel slightly sloped and discrepant without ethan’s constant antics, but kylian knows that his career comes with sacrifices, the most obvious one being stepping out of his comfort zone: the restricting boundaries that sees him remaining inert within the lines of local club football. 

bondy is the light at the end of the tunnel, and kylian just hopes that the journey would be worth it.

ethan snaps him out of his mental dally with a tight side hug, then he realises that it’s time for him to depart and register himself in. beyond a certain point, marked out by a blue roped barrier hanging from gold posts (a colour combination kylian would need to get used to for the next month and more, all in the name of bondy patriarchy), family members are prohibited, and so last words are to be said within the parking lot. 

“i will miss you,” ethan mumbles. evokes a smile out of kylian as he notices ethan’s hesitation, “believe me, i know.”

from behind him, his father urges him to go as a line of participants accumulate, and begins to feel the trepidation press against his heart.

“love you, bro.” ethan signs. his mind screams, ‘don’t go, don’t go, don’t go.’

kylian’s mind shrieks, ‘don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.’

“that referral is yours.”

masks a pained smile behind a light-hearted one, ruffling ethan’s hair as he received a glare back. god, he’ll miss ethan more than he fathomed.

“it is.”

then they fistbump, for the last time.

+_-

inside is cool and dry, differing from the hot, humid, sticky air outside that had clung feverishly to skin. the interior structure of the academy puts its external counterpart to utter shame. high ceilings, suspending blue-jewel-embezzled chandeliers, ribbons of gold and royal blue traced in half-wave curves along the walls that seem to be the only thing in this unfathomable-acred campus that don't  abide by the fervid colour scheme. kylian has never seen as many trophies in one glass cabinet (or, rather, walk-in closet; it is massive) as what just stood in the far corner of the foyer. 

“close your mouth, ky,” brice leans in and whispers, snickering. they are unlucky, having to join the right foot of the queue after spending a few extra minutes receiving last minute warnings and advice from their mothers especially. nothing with ill intentions, but rather harsh loving concern. 

kylian immediately shuts his mouth, flushed. brice grins wider, shoving a hand atop kylian’s hair and rubbing it roughly. he’s immediately slapped away and sent on his way with a pointed glare. 

“you're a heathen."

brice snickers, albeit loudly, "right back at you."

they're both taken aback as two boys right in front of them, identical twins they suppose because they look eerily akin, glance behind with looks of confused judgement. the exchange is swift and they turn to face ahead no more than a second later, before huddling close to the other, and swapping whispers. 

their thoughts, though internal, are vehemently blatant to kylian. from a retrospective point of view, he understands– it's as if brice had talked to thin air. he nudges his friend beside, and dejectedly gestures, "sign, please."

brice's understanding is immediate, and rather apologetically, he responds, "okay, sorry." 

"don't be."

they stand and shuffle down the line in silence. it's unlike brice to be wordless for such an extended period of time, but as for kylian, it's second nature. an hour passes, they've only progressed by half of the queue, and its obvious that brice is becoming restless. they haven't sat once, and although kylian had suggested he sit on his suitcase (it was undoubtedly big enough), he refused, saying that it wasn't strong enough to bear his weight. 

"you good, b?"

brice catches him a second too late in his peripheral vision, and asks him to repeat.

"i said, are you good?"

"it's like you're asking me to fight," brice signs humourously, "but yeah, i'm good. just… buzzing with every feeling you could think of."

kylian nods, but brice's words simmer properly, and he then realises what he had said, "every feeling? so you feel… angry, con-"

"why wouldn't i be?"

kylian's delirious, "why… would you be?"

he watches as brice glares at the boys in front of them, and he sighs, "i thought you would've gotten used to it by now, brice."

"you're my best friend— practically practically a brother to me. why would i just let it go, moreover, get 'used to it'?"

kylian notices how his signs get more rapid and hard to decipher. he has a habit of merging two words- subconsciously, he doesn't blame him- or missing out words entirely when he's angry. he stares more intently to understand his friend. 

"i get you. but you're doing more harm than good when you retaliate."

brice doesn't sign back, and huffs begrudgingly. they fall into a prolonged silence once again, and it takes another half an hour before the reach the front counter. 

"welcome to bondy academy! can i please have your names and factions?"

the receptionist is a young woman, probably only 3-4 years older than the two, with honey skin and honey skin and a frizzy afro. kylian looks at her gold-and-blue name tag and sees the name 'genevieve' written in bold black. 

brice gives her a friendy smile, "my name is brice tchaga and his," he points at his friend, "is kylian mbappé. we're both in elite. we’re both in elite."

she nods, typing their names into the computer before again, nodding affirmatively again. she slides a clipboard upon the counter with a pen, and asks them to write their signature next to their name. brice does so, and slides it to kylian, who looks at him and discreetly signs, "i don't have a signature."

"you don't?" brice's face morphs into one of subtle surprise as kylian nods his head. 

"just… make up one. or just write your name fancily, it's not that important here."

kylian is acquiescent, and as brice waits for him to finish writing, he looks up to see genevieve looking at them. her eyes, however, hold no malice, and rather watches them, smiling. 

"you both sign?"

brice's mouth falls agape, "you sign?"

genevieve chuckles, "yeah. my mother is deaf so i had to learn early."

by now, kylian's noticed the exchange between the two, brice turning to him for permission to share his reason. he gives him a look, and brice knows that kylian can handle himself. he's probably happy that he's found a common ground with someone who's not brice, even though she may only be the receptionist. 

"i've been selectively mute for a while, so i talk mostly by signing. brice here is my translator, i guess— wow, now i'm trauma dumping."

kylian is ever-glad that it's practically just the three of them in the foyer, save a couple of bustling workers who are too busy to notice them. 

genevieve laughs heartily, grabbing two gold lanyards from beside her before handing it to the both of them. 

"don't worry, you're good. those are your id and keycards by the way. you lose them, you have no access into your room for the next 24 hours."

kylian scrutinises his and makes a face when he notices the rather unflattering photo they had used. 

"you two are running late now, so i'll let you go," genvieve says. her face suddenly turns stoic, "my only advice is to keep your head down, not everyone here is as nice as i am."

"i did come here expecting the worst, to be honest."

"pessimist."

"i'm being practical, brice."

genvieve intervenes, "it's not all that bad. arguably the best football experience you'll ever have before going professional."

she glances at her watch, alarmed, "okay, i really have to let you go now. the conference room is through those doors, down the stairs, and then the first door on your right."

kylian smiles at her, and expresses his gratitude as brice does the same. she dismisses it with a graceful wave of her hand.

"i'll be rooting for the both of you," genevieve chides, then signs, "good luck."

hopeful and with spirits elevated, brice and kylian amble to the conference room. it’s capacity is just as expected, if not larger, occupied by gold-rimmed blue chairs which accommodate several other competitors, in 6 rows of ten. their entrance alerts those already seated, and a few turn around to take a glance. he wasn’t expecting to see all factions congregating simultaneously, observing the range of ages situated around the room. kylian feels the heat of anxiety nip at his skin, and as he and brice stroll to take their seats, he begins to feel nauseous. 

it’s only a few seconds later when a man, with salt and pepper hair and clad in a suit of a colour that quite frankly, kylian is absolutely tired of seeing and it’s only his first day, walks in. his aura of assertiveness is palpable, and as he, along with a few other adults, take their stand on the pulpit before them, the whole room falls silent.

a lean man, dressed in casual sporting gear and first born trainers steps forward, "all rise.'

a ripple of shuffling bodies and chairs permeates around the room. kylian observes his surroundings, analyses how he, along with brice, are one of the shortest boys in the elite faction. he grumbles internally at that. 

the same voice tells them to sit, and the audience obeys, then the room slithers into another deafening quietude. it feels as if it's prohibited to even breathe and kylian can sense his hands gathering with sweat. 

"good morning bondy," the same distinguished man from earlier pronounces, voice detailed with bass, "my name is jacob dubois and it is an utmost pleasure to have all 60 of you here; i hope the appreciation is reciprocated."

a few nods come from the kids around him and slight relief washes over kylian as he realises that they are free to move. 

"you all have been selectively chosen to come here. we didn't choose random aspirants, but ones who show passion, determination and most of all, potential." 

kylian's fingers tingle with excitement. he's here for a reason. 

"thus, we expect all of you to follow our ethos with pride."

formalities extend for more than half an hour, kylian feels his buttcheeks ache and has had to nudge brice awake numerous times. 

"did you not sleep?"

"i did," he signs back sluggishly, "this talk is always boring."

kylian can't deny that, shaking his head with a small grin. 

as the clock strikes 11am, an hour since they had entered the room, the director finally graces them with the technicalities of the regime itself. 

"your 5 weeks here will be filled with training, educational trips, end-of-week assessments and, most importantly, improvement. you're expected to be up at 5am everyday-"

murmurs erupt, mostly by the younger factions, and mr dubois brings a palm up to silence them. 

"-and curfew is at 9pm. anybody who is seen outside of their accommodation past this hour will be punished."

he waits for any objections, doesn't get any, and proceeds. 

"today is your first day of training. you'll first be taken to your rooms where your kit will be, then receive a tour of the campus. all factions will congregate in their designated parlour where their head coach will give itineraries, and tell you what to do next."

"who's ours?" kylian asks brice, and he shrugs, "dunno. i was asleep at that part."

rolling his eyes, kylian shifts his focus back to the man behind the pulpit. 

"i wish all of you the best, and may the best 3 get their referrals."

a round of applause ensues as the line of coaches upfront move towards where they were sat, and, kylian guesses she's the junior faction's head coach, a tall woman with blond hair orders the kids sat right at the front to stand. they leave the room with their rolling luggages and the rest move into hushed, murmuring chatter. 

"that was long for no reason," brice stretches his neck as he signs, yawning. 

"i know, but sleeping? i thought you said you got 8 hours."

"well, i could barely sleep for 5. my aim was 8."

kylian brings a hand to brice's head, pushing it down to his shoulder. 

"sleep for a bit, something's telling me we'll be here a while."

the boy snuggles in immediately, whispering a 'thank you', in which kylian just pats his knee in response. 

by the time they're summoned, it's been another half hour. kylian taps brice awake, signalling at the suitcase, grateful that brice catches on quickly. his stomach churns in hunger, yet knows they won't be eating for while. 

their head coach, kylian comes to learn, is coach moreau; dark-skinned, averagely talk with dark facial hair. he's not as intimidating as mr dubois, but both kylian and brice can smell his sternness from a mile away. 

"your rooms are on the other side of campus so we'll have to walk to get there. at the lobby, i'll give you your door numbers and you can find your way. please keep your keycards safe, you hear?"

they all nod, and some verbally express their affirmatives.

"good. let's go."

their amble is a good 5 minutes, and both boys, at the end, don't see the need of having a tour. they had passed everything they could think of, and they wonder just what more bondy could have. 

the accommodation is a sleek mini apartment complex, in kylian's words, and seeing as though it only seemed to have one floor, he's unsure if it'll fit all 20 of them. the main door is cut from space grey tempered glass and two security men stand mightily at the entrance, greeting coach moreau, shaking hands.

he then turns towards them again, "feminine and masculine units are separated. this building is for the boys and the girls' complex is behind this one."

kylian ignores the defeated sighs that come from a few boys in front of them as brice glances at him.

"get settled and dressed in your kits by," he checks his watch and gives a reasonable time, "12.15. do not wear your boots indoors, at all, so please keep them in the string bag we've provided for you. let's start rooming you lot."

pairs of names are stated with their room number and little by little, the group breaks off. kylian and brice's names come last, and they are given the number 5b.

they move towards the elevator, waiting for it to come back down. the metal doors slide open and they shuffle inside, kylian just about catching the sight of the girls leaving as the doors shut again. 

brice releases an exaggerated sigh, "i need sleep."

"we've got a whole day ahead of us, if you're able to, you should buy some lucozade at lunch."

brice shakes his head, "i stay clear of those things, mr addicted-to-energy-drinks."

kylian huffs, throwing his hands in the air, "i'm not addicted, i just have one a day."

"have or need?"

kylian throws him a deadpanned look as the elevator opens, giving him the middle finger. brice snickers and follows him out, both looking at the doors they pass for their room. they reach the end of the corridor before finding it, and brice uses his card to open the door. 

"holy. fucking. shit."

brice drops the handle of his suitcase, rushing in like a child gone feral at a candy shop. kylian rolls his eyes as he picks it up, but then freezes when he notices the interior. 

the entire space as soon as they enter, is an enormous area of the living room. it's just about bigger than brice's own bedroom back at home (which, in turn, is much larger than kylian's) and everything feels too fresh to touch. a colour scheme of dark grey and white occupies the space, a large bondy logo  stuck on an empty wall in dark blue. 

"i'm surprised they didn't dump a bright gold sofa here," brice teases, and kylian hums in agreement, "with you on that one. i'm getting tired of seeing those colours, i swear."

brice opens one of the doors, notices that it's the bathroom, then closes it again. 

"restroom?"

"yup."

brice goes to the one not far from the one he had just opened and storms inside screaming, "dibs this one!"

that triggers kylian, who runs to the room, completely astonished at the size. there's no way in hell that the other one's bigger. 

brice jumps back first upon the bed, closing his eyes in bliss, " 've missed these beds."

kylian leans on the door frame, watching his friend in faux disdain, "didn't even give me a chance to fight for this room."

"it doesn't work like that, ky."

"you're sick."

he moves back upright, walking to the room beside brice's, and is succumbed by shock. 

just what more surprises does bondy have?

his room is marginally larger than his friend's, a large king sized bed, protruding outwards from the wall situated to his right. a white desk sits near the window, which overlooks the bondy campus, and beside that, a white-washed timber wardrobe. 

he grants brice the peace of mind at the moment, smirking to himself, and shuts the door quietly as he moves into the room. on the bed is a navy blue string bag, and kylian picks it up. the material is light yet sturdy, feeling the thin material of his kit inside, then he tugs it open. 

the attire is navy blue, with one thick gold stripe running vertically on the left, the crest sitting right on top. he smiles warmly as he turns it around and sees his surname etched in gold as well. there's no number. he's the number 7 in his club, and knows he needs to prove that he's worthy of it here. 

he changes into his kit and glances at the clock. it reads 12pm, and kylian exits his room to retrieve his case just his friend does the same. 

"i feel expensive," brice chides, kylian agreeing. he's also clad in his kit, everything completely identical apart from the name scribbled on his back. 

"we only have 15 minutes to unpack," kylian informs as brice wheels his suitcase into the room. 

"i probably won't do all of it– only half."

they both sort out their wardrobe, almost getting carried away as brice barges into kylian's room telling him that they have 2 minutes to spare. they decide to take the stairs this time, woe betide them they leave their keycards, and reach the lobby just as coach moreau gets there too. 

through the glass door awaits the feminine half of their faction, already socialising as a group, and kylian feels his chest dip. he tries not to think about it too much, afterall, he has brice, and it'll be very unlike his friend to ditch him for someone else during their say. 

coach moreau moves them outside before talking, "we'll begin the tour down the south wing- here- before moving towards north. i hope all of you are ready because this campus is big."

brice leans into kylian and whispers, "you don't say." kylian breaks into a smile, pushing his friend gently. 

during the hour the spend walking- walking!- around bondy's grounds, kylian's brain overspills with information that flies into his ear and out the other. salvages as little as the fact that south wing consists of their dorms, from junior to elite, and leisure spaces whereas its north counterpart inhabits the main and training pitches, every type of hall you could think of, separate parlours for factions to bask in and the canteen. 

brices legs are completely spent, kylian's no different, and once they make their way into their designated space, brice wastes no time to sit on the blue settee. 

"okay everybody, take a seat," coach moreau's voice comes from behind the bunch. they all find a place to sit as the man stands at the front. 

“since i’m sure not everyone knows each other here, we’ll do short introductions. you can state your full name if you want, and what club you currently play for,” his eyes scan the room. the passion is definitely there, that’s undeniable, and coach moreau can see more potential than he ever has. “football is not just about skill and playing, but forming relationships with your teammates, as well. remember, bondy is competitive, but do not let it get to your heads, okay?”

a chorus of ‘yes coach’ follows, and he smiles at the teenagers before him. kylian’s brain seems to go stagnant and he feels scorched all over. he hadn’t planned for this, isn’t prepared. brice looks at him, silently asking if he’s okay, but he doesn’t find it in him to respond. before brice could initiate his concern, verbally, their coach is speaking again.

“alright, we’ll go clockwise, i’ll start; i’m coach moreau and i’ve been coaching here for about 20 years now. i’m normally accompanied by coach lambert, who teaches the feminine unit, but she’s been off for the past few hours. she should be back for training later today.”

the next boy starts to speak. he’s tan skinned, with dark brown hair that’s completely shaved into a buzzcut, “i’m zion saez and i play for l’aigles.” 

the girl beside him shoots him a grin, and he returns it. if anyone present was any dumber, it would be unknown that they’re a couple. they try to be discreet, but their fleeting, prolonged touches sell them out. 

“i’m [y/n], and i also play for l’aigles,” zion’s girlfriend states after. a girl beside her begins her introduction, and before kylian could fathom, it’s his turn. he doesn’t speak- for god’s sake he can’t- and the silence is nibbling at his ears. 

“boy, it’s your turn,” coach moreau’s voice penetrates into the room. everyone’s staring, their eyes dig into his skin, and he brings his hands up to sign. he’s shaking, but hopes that brice can determine it good enough.

“i’m kylian, and i play for loc.”

no one makes a sound afterwards, and his heart collapses in on itself. coach moreau looks at him, his eyes speak of something he cannot understand, then a voice comes from his far left. 

“can you not speak?” his tone is almost degrading, and the humiliation that permeates through kylian is an understatement. 

“he’s mute,” brice seethes, “there’s no reason to be rude about it.”

the boy doesn’t respond, staring at brice with his face crumpled in scorn, and kylian nudges him to let it go. an expectant, yet awkward silence commences, and kylian has to nudge brice again, knowing that in his state of anger, his self-awareness is absent. 

“brice. i play for toc too.”

coach moreau’s gaze interchanges between zion and brice, then he says, “what i said before isn’t a joke. football is about respect, and you’re taught that from early, or am i lying?”

there’s no reply, and he repeats himself, louder and miffed, “am i lying?! zion? brice?”

a collective, murmured ‘no coach’ comes from the both of them, and coach moreau hums. 

“i’m glad i’m being heard. let’s go to lunch.”

+_-

their first training session succeeds after their lunch break, in which the meal was a simple plate of pasta, but kylian had to get seconds. the more bondy surprises him, the more he thinks there’s a catch. privilege cannot come so effortlessly and also have him running scot-free; he leaves that thought for his future self, though. 

coach moreau has gathered them at the centre of one of the training pitches, with the feminine unit on another with coach lambert, after an exertive warm-up and drills ensemble. 

“i feel like i’ve played a full 90,” brice complains to kylian as he stands beside him. his friend pats his shoulder apologetically.

“since it’s your first day, i think a good game of 5-a-side will really establish the skill we have in this team, don’t you think?”

a cacophony of excited cheers and hollers come from the boys and adrenaline finally pumps within kylian. 

“team one will have…” he scans his clipboard, “brice, joel, kylian, rafael and kody. the rest of you on team two, get yourself some green bibs, you’ll be shooting to the goal on my right. let’s get going boys.”

kylian and brice get in position as they wait for the opposing team to situate themselves. once they do, the game begins with the shrill sound of coach moreau’s whistle, and kylian is already dashing for the ball. it’s passed to someone else on the green-bib team before he can reach it, and as brice is closer, he’s able to tackle it off the boy. he passes it back to kylian, who makes a run for the goal.

his speed gives coach moreau whiplash, he has never seen such like it; it’s almost an art to watch, elegantly swift and gets faster with every metre he runs. he circles kylian’s name and goes back to watching the game, just quick enough to notice zion barge into kylian with such vigour that he tumbles out of the pitch. he pushes his whistle between his lips and blows it forcefully. 

everything happens with hastened velocity. kylian is quick to regenerate himself, standing up and immediately shoves zion’s back with all his strength. his sides throbs with a dull ache from the collision prior, yet all he sees is red as zion’s face comes uncomfortably close to his, lips stretched in a sickening smile as he taunts kylian. 

“what are you gonna do, huh? you can’t even talk, you fucking freak.”

then he’s dragged away by coach moreau before his fist can even come close to zion’s cheek.

[tsumugismaster]

it doesn’t surprise me that you are a neutral person.. not that I think you would do anything bad!! ^^’ i just see you as very cool and collected.. someone who thinks with their head. but i also wouldn’t be surprised if at times, your heart does take control.. but obviously i don’t really know anything so im just talking to talk haha…..

yeah, i was a.. “pick me” as a child. it doesn’t surprise me.. with parents that wanted me a certain way, i kind of felt like i needed to be perfect for everyone around me. now im a people pleaser.. how shocking. i absolutely love nature.. though i absolutely abhor mosquitoes. excuse my language.. i fucking hate them. for some reason, they just love my blood.. so in the summer, i always get like, 40 mosquito bites every time i go outside. the wonders of the midwest… also including the millions of ticks always lurking around.. but either way, i love nature. to think that all of the things around us were created from one little thing.. one chain reaction led to our world.. its absolutely marvelous. the smells, the sights, the feelings.. everything is beautifully unique in its own way. i love just going outside and feeling sun on my skin, hearing birds chirping, feeling the slight breeze and hearing it push past the leaves on the trees.. i love it so much. i.. would love to hike with you, if you’d give me the chance. if i could have any pet, i would want a bernese, a chow chow or a squirrel.. OR A CAT! my family doesn’t like cats, so we can’t have one.. :(

i played clarinet for a very long time but recently quit, and i played piano then quit, but im trying to learn again.. playing the viola is extremely difficult, thats incredible! i have trouble trusting people, but i usually show my imperfections quickly after becoming obsessed with someone.. i wish i could keep it in easier, but i cant. ive known pain and fear and sorrow for a long time.. i cant imagine a moment without it. its much easier to pretend to be something, than to be yourself.. but yes, i really love to sing. its my life, its my safe space. i wouldn’t be sane without it.. obviously i dont think i have much talent, but some may agree with you. either way.. the compliment feels nice, even if i dont fully believe it.

my mom is a good person at heart, for sure.. we’ve had our moments, but she’s a good mom. that’s what matters. trust me, there are certain bugs that i cannot deal with. flying bugs, and big bugs specifically.. its so silly to me that we have something like that in common. how interesting.

you don’t have to apologize.. im just glad you’re here now. talking with you is a gift. thank you so much. im sorry if i seem slightly off.. i have some things going on in my personal life making me feel certain ways. but talking with you has made me feel less alone.

your ladybug waits 🐞

Ah! I don’t mind, I enjoy listening to people’s assumptions of me. Gives me a good idea of what people really think of me. I do mostly use my heart though, it got to me where I am. A fairly enjoyable life but very busy. I think I trust it more than my brain, of course I’ll use my brain if needed.

REAL!! Mosquitoes are my literal nightmare during the summer, even during night those stupid pests start biting my feet.. it’s quite the hellhole when it starts itching in multiple places. They adore you don’t they? Aha! Your language is fine! You are free to say mostly whatever you want. You’re quite the imaginative person, There’s something magical about nature, isn’t there? It’s like every little detail, from the way the sunlight filters through the leaves to the sound of the wind, is its own quiet masterpiece. It makes you feel small but in a comforting way, like you’re part of something so much bigger, at least for me.

Of course! I’d love going on walks or hikes with other people! There’s something special about sharing that kind of peace with someone else—just walking, talking, or even just being quiet together while soaking in everything around us. It’s a way to connect not just with nature but with each other too. I think it would be amazing to experience that with you.

Ah! I also want a pet cat, my cousin has an orange one and she’s so cute! But sometimes she scratches and bites my ankles.. I’ll sill love her forever no matter how much she hurts me. I need to search up all the other animals you said cause damn I do not know what any of the rest are..

Mm interesting, though I have nothing to comment on for your instruments, hope you learning to play the piano again goes smoothly! Ahaha we are pretty different in that since I absolutely hate singing, it was never for me. Maybe it’s because I never felt like my voice was good enough, or maybe I just didn’t connect with it the way others seem to. Alas, I found myself to connect through writing. I definitely completely admire and look up to people like you though! You’re quite the inspiration without realizing it

That’s good! I can’t say anything since I rather just not talk about my mom.. I’m not in the best situation with her but still love her. Please.. flying bugs will be the death of me, the most embarrassing part of me is seeing how I react to a bigass bug, also rats are very scary to me.. eugh it gives me the shivers..

Ah thank you, I’m glad to ease you on whatever is going on. No worries! I’m here for anything really, even if we haven’t known eachother for long. I’ll plan on sleeping now though. Goodnight my dear ladybug! You are free to send me whatever you want while I sleep

[mybatimblog]

my head feels like TV static

tw venting i am overwhelmed this is mostly a stream of consciousness and makes only half sense

i need to spill things somewhere i hope it helps

sirry this is kind of like real life stuff

i do not have anxiety in the diagnostic sense but there is so much in my body right now its going to pour out of my eyes and i'm worried i will drown in it

there is too much going on and not enough sleep to function i can either take my medication be productive and not sleep until four hours before my alarm or allow sleep instead of work

i can only pretend to be someone else for so long to keep my mood up i can only pretend for so long until i run out of fuel and it does not help much to pretend to be "Sammy Lawrence" or "Remus Lupin" or "Bucky barnes" before the character's instabilities actually make it hard to feel better and then i am back and so tired

i can pretend to be one of my own characters but they are pieces of me and it doesn't help much

the dopamine it gives me to spend time with stuff i like doesn't help my brain is moving too fast i feel like im spinning

books and paper and paint are so expensive i didnt get a textbook until yesterday because it took me two weeks to make the decision about whether i should risk a virus and get it for $20 or spend 50 dollars more just to rent it digitally and as for the art supplies i need to buy special paper? and the project is due sooner than id like

and food is so expensive i have food but not REAL food and I cannot eat cereal and popcorn forever but i have dishes to do and its either a drive to the less expensive grocery store or a 20 minute walk to the more expensive one

ive been trying to start a patreon but have no time to make content for the patreon

sunlight never reaches my window and my apartment is very dark but if I open my windows to let light in, people can see me so easily. my plants will die soon. i got a new plant recently as a reward for working so hard this summer and im afraid its going to die and im afraid that if this were a book and some student were reporting on it they'd relate my plant's health to mine and how i may be slowly falling apart

putting the light on helps a lot but not when we pay for electric and i have to think about how expensive it is to exist

i have been trying to pay my water bill for days and watching every drop i use because the other day my tap was on for 4 hours while i was away from home but the water lady has not emailed me back

i make list after list after list and its the same tasks that i still have to do them all

last night i tried to watch Fresh because i started it two days ago and sebastian stan is candy for the brain and i did not finish the movie but i had to pay for my enjoyment because the next day i feel like THIS and it is a punishment for trying to relax

when you look up how to deal with anxiety everything is things i cannot do except for breathe and breathing is not helping its all "sleep better" and "eat better" and "exercise" and "plan a time to worry"

i would like to melt but i have so much work to do

[renjibozo]

episode 8 trailer dropped, you know what that means !

guess who's back for another prediction.

ok first off before i put the cut, i just think rei's english is so pleasant to the ears that's all

okay spoiler territory time

(edited a little to add in a little something)

it seems we're finally at that point of PV 2 and 3 where they started planning and preparing a birthday !

but first let me just cry about how cute the conversation between kazuki and rei are before i get into the topic of the scenes playing in the trailer

(don't trust my translation 100% i am only going off of how i understand it with limited knowledge)

Rei: Because Miri came, I started to feel the seasons. Kazuki: That's true∼ Rei: And I thought summer was just hot. Kazuki: You do become more of a hikikomori when the summer comes... Rei: Summer was just limited to coolers, but... Kazuki: But? Rei: There were... also days where I thought the sunlight was nice

also this

Rei: It's the first time that I've ever thought that I liked this weather Kazuki: Barbecuing on tiles sounds good too Rei: I'll have to refuse. Kazuki: Eeh?

i love how rei's a little more talkative and especially about his likes and dislikes when it comes to summer

anyways onto the scenes!

kazuki and miri are preparing but i'm still not sure if they're preparing for rei's birthday because putting kazurei's conversation aside, it should be related to the episode still like the previous trailer for episode 7

since miri's zoo trip is over and the rainy season was shown in episode 7, and kazurei talked about the summer weather, i can only guess that it really is gonna be a rei birthday thing because no way is it miri's birthday bc hers is in november, and her acquisition was in christmas eve

rei bday might be somewhere between june to september

i will cry if i get this correct

the suwa manor i assume??

we don't really see rei outside of the house on his own especially in work attire so this is new new

this implies that despite kyutaro once looking at rei saying he knows the consequences of betraying the organization the most, he is in contact with his boss (father)

did he have an escape attempt once? is this episode going to elaborate on that? this seems more of a rei backstory episode after kazuki's backstory episode

local malewife malewifing as usual, nothing out of the ordinary except he looks just a bit more natural in his position rather than vaguely distressed

im willing to bet kazuki's the one who did her hairstyle because i feel like rei would just accidentally tug on her hair every few seconds but i might be proven wrong or they never show us

favorite child and unfavorite child face off? they have similar facial structures and hair strand placement

the color contrasts is screeching into my face as well

(also i just think rei looks like slender man in that screenshot jesus christ he is terrifying)

now why is this man here

he cannot be related at all so whats he doing here !! was he hired by rei's boss to take care of him or something !!!! curious. so curious

i really do wonder what sort of conversation they're having in the midst of a gunfight inside a ship

maybe the organization found out about miri and them taking in miri?

the infamous "Rei-papa looks lonely sometimes" scene which really just wants me to think its a rei bday episode

NOW WHAT IS THIS !!!! HELLO !!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT HAPPENED LITTLE CRINGEMAN

he's showing too much emotion so i'm convinced that there was a threat made to miri and kazuki by favorite poster suwa child

we never see this man with any kind of scratch or wound from episodes 1 to 7 during gunfights, but we see him a little roughed up in this scene for once which really screams this man might be nearly superhuman but he is not Immune to physical damage (nor is he immune to psychological warfare)

this episode has me hyped because it seems like a tenser vibe compared to kazuki's more melancholy confrontation with his past which he ends up coming to terms with

hopefully rei does get back home safe and sound even if he gets a wound or two, manifesting!!

thats all folks, thanks for coming to my newest installment of yuzu loves overanalyzing 40 seconds of footage

[swiftllama]

Omg im soo happy to be the first person to introduce you to Mitski!! Such a good artist— few other songs by her makes me think of Ian and Anthony, the lyrics is really heart achingly beautiful 😞..

- Francis forever: pov Ian ? Could be Anthony too

- Your best American girl: pov ANTHONY OOOH MY GOD when I first heard him describe Ian as the sun?? This what comes to mind instantly ( just one specific verse tho hehe)

Anyway thank you for the response!! Im so happy i can hyperfixate and share the fixation lol

Hey! Sorry only getting to this now!

Had a listen to both of the songs and oh yeah, very fitting!

Lyric analysis :-

Forever Francis

I know you said Ian’s pov for this, but it’s all Anthony to me. Some of it’s fitting for both but I just see Anthony.

“I don't know what to do without you / I don't know where to put my hands / I've been trying to lay my head down / But I'm writing this at three AM.”

- ‘But I’m writing this at three AM.’ Anthony’s letter! All can think about!

“I don't need the world to see / That I've been the best I can be, but / I don't think I could stand to be / Where you don't see me.”

- I see this from when he’d let go of the resentment towards Smosh/Ian and was wanting to reconnect. He was doing better than he ever had been before, but he doesn’t need the world to see that, only Ian.

“On sunny days I go out walking / I end up on a tree-lined street / I look up at the gaps of sunlight / I miss you more than anything.”

“And autumn comes when you're not yet done / With the summer passing by, but / I don't think I could stand to be / Where you don't see me.”

- So ☀️🔍 coded! Anthony looking up at the sun and thinking of and missing Ian! LITERALLY STOP!

Your Best American Girl

“You're the sun, you've never seen the night / But you hear its song from the morning birds / Well, I'm not the moon, I'm not even a star / But awake at night I'll be singing to the birds.”

- THIS ONE VERSE! YES! Definitely from Anthony’s pov. Also the parallels to the last song with being awake at night thinking about Ian.

“I've been trying to lay my head down / But I'm writing this at three AM.” // “But awake at night I'll be singing to the birds.”

Thank you so much for the recs!

[graceisprettygreat]

Junpei 9 13 15 24 36 49

9. Scene that first made me love (or hate) the character Sadly this is really really hard for me since I first played almost a decade ago. I can't say for certain. i defintiely dont know when i first liked him but i think i can say i probably first LOVED him during safe end. even without voice acting him yelling SNAAAAKE sent chills down my spine. probably 13. Dumbest thing they’ve ever done let his baby falls off his truck LIKE DUDE. THEY WERE AN INFANT. COULDA GONE SPLAT 15. Worst thing they’ve ever done the sister joke in ztd. dude. (half-serious) for real. maybe betraying clover in luna route's on vlr. i fully get why he did it. and wouldnt have it any other way for his character. but MAN. that fucking stings 24. Most annoying habit not sure if this is a real answer but as someone also raised by my grandparents, i hard relate to quark in having certain phrases that annoyed me to NO END as a little kid for truly no reason. like 'if i were me (where would i have put that)" andd i was always like YOU!!! ARE YOU!!!! so i think him saying 'a little scotch should scratch the itch' would also annoy to me to no end. but dont get me wrong I LOVE IT SO MUCH ITS SO CUTE I LOVE HIM i love this phrase i love both the jp and the eng version. hwoever. relate too hard to quark to not say it 36. Their favorite season (no i dont know why this one is bolded) i think this changed a lot through his life. as a kid im of two minds, summer for festivals and being out of school, or fall for seeing akane again. then as he was a young adult, im not so sure. i think he prefers sunlight to not so spring/summer? post-999 winter so he has an 'excuse' to be inside all day. and once the post-apocalyspe exists in earnest. i have done a LOT of climate study into this, what the climate of their world would be like. and have no solid answer (MOSTLY BECAUSE OF TENMYOUJI AND QUARK'S OUTFIT DURING JANUARY ARE BAFFLING) but i have to think summer/fall. more daylight to work and earn by. more crops. less dangers of the cold and ice. 49. Favorite toy as a child all i can think is rubix cube bc of snow's comic and i love it so much. however i also want to say that he would have fuckin loved foam/toy swords as a kid.

[seaside-werewolf]

tell me about your plants!!

(SORRY ANON I WENT TO BED BEFORE I SAW THIS! BUT I LOVE YOU!!!)

I have 7 plants in my room at the moment that I really really love, although I have a couple others around the house that I couldn't fit in anywhere else rip (including a massive monstera that is honestly outgrowing our tiny house, no windows or corners are big enough for it!)

The tallest plant in my room is one of my snake plants (Dracaena trifasciata) Not a great picture of it but it's doing really well! Its weird, i've seen some places say snake plants (or Tigers Tail, also a cool name) grow slow which is just not true, they grow incredibly fast if kept well especially over the spring and summer! The new leaf on the righthand side of the pot only started sprouting a couple months ago! The newer leaves on the bottom left are actually a separate plant I decided to put into this pot since there's still lots of space and snake plants often are kinda clumped together and have offshoots around the main oldest bits of the plant. Tbh, I should have left it longer to repot, I got too excited :' ) Snake plants actually like being quite cramped and you can/should leave them a good long while before repotting but mine luckily didn't see to mind! I really love the patterns on snake plants leaves, they are much stronger and lighter when the leaves are new and then do fade with age but they're so lovely :' )

I have a second snake plant that I rescued outside someones university accommodation when i was a student- They left it probably because they thought they killed it, but snake plants are very hard to kill and specifically come from environments where they get very little water, so tbh it was absolutely not a lost cause so it was sad they left it behind! That tall leaf at the back thats out of frame? One of the newer leaves that only started growing this year- shows how fast they grow! You can see which are the oldest leaves at the bottom, the damage on them is from its old home :' ) But it's been very happy! Did you know snake plants only release oxygen at night? They've adapted to do it because it stops them from getting dehydrated during the day! It's also good to dust the leaves or use a damp cloth to wipe them, helps them make the best use of the sunlight they get, I also give them a liquid plant food in the spring/summer, not that they super need it but just to give them a lil boost.

One plant that im very very proud of at the moment is my Silver Satin Pothos :' ) (Epipremnum aureum), sometimes called Devil's Ivy which is kind of a cool name. Most people probably have seen a Golden Pothos, which I think is the most common variety around, but my favourite is the Silver Satin variety because of the cool-toned colours and the amazing leaf patterns! Pothos love climbing and in the wild climb up their host trees (and can kill them if left unchecked...), i've been trying to think for a while of where I can move mine to so it can climb but I still haven't totally decided! In the direct sunlight, the leaves glimmer a little which is very very pretty. The difference between the size of leaves on a houseplant Pothos and a wild one is also insane, their leaves get absolutely Huge in the wild! They can also flower but it is rare, they have a hormone deficiency in their genes which is why it is so rare, although you can artificially get them to flower by spraying them with a gibberellic acid mix thing, I don't know a ton about it though, I'm happy to leave mine alone haha.

Here's one of my slowest growing plants though, a Green Trumpet Jade, or Finger Jade (Crassula ovata)! It's technically a Gollum Jade, but the interesting difference is caused by a mutation due to a bacteria, mycoplasma, which makes the normally flat leaves curl up into tubes! I can never get good pictures of my one but its a really decent size and I've had it for years, my oldest plant! Gollum Jades can live 100+ years and are sometimes passed down between generations!! In the very bottom of the picture you can see the babies, the leaves are fragile and pretty easy to knock off, so when that happens I just pop them into some soil and quite often they will begin to root!

Okay so this is my newest plant and it has absolutely exploded, its been so fast growing! It has doubled in size from when I got it at the end of May. It's called Inchplant, or Wandering Spiderwort (Tradescantia Zebrina) it also has an unfortunate common name that is rightly being phased out/called out more recently. A lot of people have these as hanging plants, but there's not really anywhere to hang plants in my room since it's small so I've opted to tie it to supports to encourage it to grow upwards instead. I got this one for the colour because it's just amazing! Never seen such pink/purple leaves before : ) The pink comes from anthocyanins I believe, specifically Inchplants like mine are bred to have higher levels of anthocyanin, the only way this really affects houseplants like this is they need slightly more light because less green in a plant means less chlorophyll.

Ahhh I feel like this answer is getting kind of long now so I might stop there hhdhfkj, my two other plants in here though are a Dragon Tree (Dracaena Marginata) which hopefully one day will move from window to floor as it gets bigger! And also my quite new Parlour Palm (Chamaedorea Elegans), it is a pretty popular houseplant but also slow growing, so it takes a long long time to get as big as some of the ones you see in fancy house decor photos, but I'm hoping mine will get to that point one day!

Thanks for indulging me anon, I love talking about my plants :" )

[mainfaggot]

dec. 30th '24 — thoughts on this past year

it seemingly just started yesterday...? i woke up to January 1st just a moment ago... (how cliché to say!)

in february, i was a gutted fish bleeding out on the shore. it was a dark time.

March... potential new beginnings and so much uncertainty, so much fear, so much swimming against the current and gasping for air and drinking in wispy, golden glimpses of sunlight for mere milliseconds before being hurled into endless shadows.

april was softer but still quite cruel. we hugged; there was warmth, of course, but that was mostly my own hot blood blooming into a fresh wound. she had stabbed me in the gut quietly, and i smiled anyway. there was blood smeared across my teeth. And ugh... it took so long to floss all the residue away!

anyway, summer was a fever dream... i started getting into greek philosophy briefly in may, i read plato for some 36 hours over the course of two weeks in june, i poured over textbooks to grasp the basics of marxism for the remainder of that same month, and then wrote a paper on marx in july.

i felt lukewarm in august. it was an okay month. not as suffocating or significant as it has been in the past...

september was hellish. i was genuinely, in the psychiatric sense of the word, paranoid. i couldn't be in public without experiencing heart palpitations and racing thoughts about people "seeing right through me." i was going through a backwards metamorphosis it seemed—i had been devolving since april. so tragic, really.

october was the same. it got better though...! the latter half of it, at least.

november: sleep, study, and rot on repeat. in that order. i additionally thought about the endless Nothingness of existence on public transport — typical behaviour for a moderately depressed, pretentious 21 year old in academia. #yas

december was slow, slow, slow and ... well... horribly underwhelming. interestingly enough, for the last 7 or so days, i've been doing okay... sort of like i was in the second half of october (before everything resumed on its pathway of going to shit).

in conclusion, 2024 has been a year that seems to have gone to waste. i could've become a fucking butterfly and somehow im a slimy, half-dead caterpillar hanging out of a cocoon at a grotesque angle. 5/10 because it truly could've been worse. i dont understand why people like me—melancholic, headstrong and yet passionless, overly critical and somehow still missing the entire point—live this long. i suppose i will figure out the answer to that in 2025.

[geek4theseeds]

PINKY (HYPOESTES: PINK POLKA DOT)

MY FIRST EVER BABY!!!

Did i ever tell you that my first ever plant is the pink polka dot girl? YASSSS im so excited to show her growth ;) what’s ironic is her growing in this little pink hello kitty cup (that shows hello kitty holding a teddy bear) is a very meaningful commemoration of giving her the childhood she deserves tbh🤷‍♀️ me as her mother thinks!

How did me as her mother birthed her?

She’s tremendously resilient so far (imagine raising a toddler that is born to be mature, no whining etc) seriously shes growing real fast. I find it funny tho that she was born from a seed starter kit. But aye she was $10 and I had a vision of seeing her grow outta the box.

Why the name… “PINKY”?

Well no fucking shit.

Growth process as of July 20, 2024

She is doing well so far despite spilling her way too much since shes in a fucking hello kitty cup💀 But I put her back together and she just keeps on growing. Don’t we all need a person that is willing to put us back together and help us grow!!! my gf is indeed that person for me!

Buttttt I am indeed giving her a good life. She is tall as fuck and she will soon not need that sandy cheeks ahhh helmet that she got on. She NEEDSSSSS to be surrounded by humidity and light! Gots to put the grow light on her! Also, i gave her plenty of water, plant food, and let her dry out till germination is done/when soil is dry above.

OUTRO

it’s been warmer than usual since it's currently summer so she’s getting there!!! i fear i might have to start buying bigger pots soon. Its kinda that fear where you birthed a baby that is just naturally big so you gotta get your 6 month old some 2 year clothes. But yes she is showing her cotyledons but I cannot wait to see her first true pink leaf 🤭

PS....

OKAY LOWKEY UPSET BC I ACCIDENTALLY BE HEADED ONE OF THE COTYLEDON SPROUTS WHILE PUTTING THE DOME BACK ON BC MY STUPID ASS WAS INTRIGUED BY HER GROWTH BUTTT ITS OKAY BC SHES GOT OTHER SIBLINGS 😣

Are you a geek4theseeds?

This is how I take care of her:

Morning

She gets about 10 hours during the day of light (10 am to 8 pm)

Put her in a spot right near where the sun hits because she prefers indirect bright sunlight!!! She needs light but not too much!! (bc too much sun light on her will dry her out too quick and create a fading look on the leaves…. I want her to stay moist and pink just like my pus-

But her in between my air circulation fan and my humidifier cause she needs air flow and humidity you know what i mean?

Always checking if her vents are not open so we can always create humidity. she would need about 50% of humidity so lets keep that up!

When the sun goes down, I just let her rest in a dark shaded area for about 2-3 hours

Nighttime

When its around 9:30-10, I put her under a grow light for the rest of the night!

She will then get about 5 hours of light (10 pm - 5 am)

The light will turn off a few hours before morning starts so she can get a little grace period of permanent shade. (5 hours of complete shade)

i live in merced so the weather is pretty fair for her. (she gets about 73-76 degrees indoors)

So in total of hours : 15 hrs of light / 8 hrs of shade

So giving her a fair amount of light so that she wont dry/fade. Giving her a fair amount of shade so she can cool down.

If you’re interested in thee hypoestes, Click this whole sentence 🌱