#its over now I’m okay now
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I hate talking on the phone so much oh I hate it so much I hate talking on the phone why can’t I just ring people and not need to type up a whole paragraph
#I am literally shaking and crying#My new meds are messing with me and I had to call in sick to work#I don’t know why I can’t talk on the phone#It’s over now#its over now#I’m okay now#i justbhate talking on the phone I had a script but the person who picked up said “how are you going” instead of “hello” and it threw me of#Phone anxiety sucks#ugh#its over now I’m okay now
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soukoku shippers can NEVER come after kunizai now with the excuse of them having no angst i think they honestly win tragic yaoi of the year award WAIT UNTIL DAZAI HEARS HIS PARTNER GOT TURNED INTO A 7/11 $2.50 FROST GLACIER SLUSHIE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#ITS SO OVER WHAT THE FUCK………#IVE BEEN JUMPING OVER SPOILERS LIKE ITS THE OLYMPICS BUT NOTHING PREPARED ME FOR HAVING TO CONFRONT THE FACT#THAT DAZAI WILL HAVE TO COME HOME AND REALIZE THAT KUNIKIDA IS GONE#head in my hands i’m fucking MISERABLE right now#IMAGINE BEING TORN FROM YOUR FAMILY AND COMING BACK TO REALIZE THE ONE PERSON WHO MADE YOUR HOUSE A HOME#WHO HAS GUIDED YOU INTO YOUR NEW LIFE#WHO HAS STAYED BY YOUR SIDE AND TRUSTED YOU WITH THEIR ENTIRE HEART#IS NOW DEAD? AND YOU HAVE TO MOVE ON WITHOUT THEM? WITHOUT THE STEPPING STONE?#IM ACTUALLY GOING TO KMS THIS IS NOT OKAY ASAGIRI#bsd 117#bsd#knkdz
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“Rae, why does this coin look so unique compared to the other yen?”
“Oh! See how this one has a face instead of the number of value on it? It’s because this is American currency, this here is a quarter, worth 25 cents. They have George Washington’s portrait in them.”
“That- That’s George Washington!? The first president of the United States!?”
“Uh… yah? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing! I simply, uhm… envisioned him rather differently than… this.”
Based on Even in the Next One !!! This isn’t an actual scene inside the chapters, but it’s just so easy to imagine them with how lively they feel. Please go give it a read if you haven’t yet <3
To @jobrrr : AUUGHH I’M IN LOVE WITH YOUR FIC!!! It has been a few months since I last became this invested in one :’D It just feels SO real and there are so many thoughts in my head as a result; hopefully I overcome my shyness and drop a comment proper sometime soon. Thank you for your service.
ALSO @melpymoo ! HUGE thank you for reading this alongside me omfg this is crazy, never before has a hyperfix been revived this violently 😭 Ty for granting me the space to be totally normal about these 2, looking forward to the rest of your reactions ^^
#I was planning on working on this in the server vc while we listened to the LN2 audiobook#But I got so fucking invested all over again I didnt and actually just sat there in dread#counting the pages until *that* scene on the final chapter arrived#i was sick#i was ill#its okay though drawing afterwards was my therapy#ANYWAYS#im gonna go read ch12 now wish me luck im worried#ilu Rei Oohashi you’ll forever be famous no matter if you can make a crème brûlée or not#just PLEASE COMMUNICATE#long live yuri#okay tag time#watashi no oshi wa akuyaku reijou#wataoshi#i’m in love with the villainess#im in love with the villainess#claire francois#rae taylor#rei ohashi#iftv#iltv
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Christmas in the Undercroft
Trying something a bit different! And thought I’d get festive with it since it’s December 🎄
#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy art#sebastian sallow#hogwarts legacy mc#ominis gaunt#had a crisis and decided I didn’t know if I liked my style#I mean idk what my style really is#tried to do something more cartoony??#but looking now it just looks really similar to what I normally do lmaoooo#But oh well the intent was there#and I think I still like it anyway 😂#I’m so bad at fussing over small insignificant details too#so I’m just gonna post this before I spend several more hours messing about with it#and also so I can go to bed and sleep#so if I’ve missed something then lol oh well#okay I think I’m done rambling now#its nearly Christmas woop woop
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my last reblog got me thinking about phantom of the opera but if cherik was in it
technically cherik is in it but you get my point
its the fact i don’t even like cherik (phantom) i prefer Christine and Raoul
now you gotta think which one cherik (xmen) would be
we could just have cherik be cherik and make do with them NOT ending up together
hrmm or we could give them a happy ending-ish where they do end up together
no clue, its up to what pairing you like more i suppose
anyway i like phantom and i also like cherik (xmen) fun times
Erik and Erik 🤯
#i understand Erik and Raoul cause i also have a crush on christine 😻#cherik times 2#i like the music from phantom#its weird thinking of these guys singing but ya know i’ll get over it#bro charles singing think of me 😭😭😭😭#but wait if we have cherik as two of the three in this love arrow who would be the third??#okay logan time to get out of your hole you’re apart of this now#i want erik to be raoul mainly because i want endgame cherik 😭#i hope context makes it clearer when i’m talking about a specific cherik#and also which erik i’m talking about#its messing me up a bit#GAAHH CHILDHOOD SWEETHEARTS CHERIK I NEED YOU#welp time to rewatch phantom 😁#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#x men#phantom of the opera#wish does not shut up
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I did a thing…again.
Just realized that ya’ll need to click for better quality for some reason this post looks especially bad 🤚
#OKAY so this piece is a little old#I think I posted it on my twitter (of which I do not use anymore) and nobody really cared for it#WHICH IS FINE#I don’t make art for others I do it for me#BUT I know for a fact that some of you will definelty like this so I’m posting it on here as well#I added a WHOLE new just standing still sketch of Killer and a bunch of doodles to make it more fun#but technically the orginal piece was just the ‘in murder mode leaning over one’#which I could post seperately if ya’ll wanna see that idk??#ya know without the extra image of him and the doodles so its looks less like a collage#ANYWAYS back to the art I REALLY like how I drew Killer in this#LIKE HE LOOKS SO GOOD#ITS CRAZY#so pretty so lucious so cute#I’m literally obessed with drawing flame lighting#everything looks pretty in a nice warm glow#so yeah#he be standing#he be killing#hes killer#OH and all the doodles are of course easily apparent the rest are his trivia#oda thinks his flower is a snow drop#that boy would be a chef in a real world au#and one of his hobbies is playing the drums#so if ya’ll didn’t know that now you do#i also like to think how I wrote his name is how he signs his name#killer one piece#kid pirates#illustration#digital art#one piece
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you know what guys. after this whole thing goes down, i hope we get the ACTUAL kamiyama school festival and it is a very good comparison to the first one. where we can see clearly how much mizuki has grown since that first event in january 2021, since that first school festival in middle school.
and i hope mizuki gets to have fun with her friends and can hang out with ena. and i hope ena has fun too. i hope she gets to tease akito, forge bonds with her classmates at the fried squid stall, and hopefully get roped into a dumb show with the oddballs 1 2. i hope this is ena’s pandemonium. i hope we all can have a little bit of joy and whimsy while getting to see how much the gang’s lives have changed at this point.
and i hope rui is a little worried for mizuki — i sincerely hope he is somewhere in mizu5, quietly waiting by the rooftop like he always has for her. but by the end of the schoolfes event he can look at mizuki, her whole face bright as all eight students in our little kamikou main cast gang come down from the rooftop (for one last time maybe, but we don’t talk about graduation in front of rui… unless ofc we bring it up this event) and he can say “you’ve come such a long way, haven’t you, mizuki? i’m happy for you.”
#project sekai#karamell yells#mizuki akiyama#ena shinonome#rui kamishiro#mizu5#sorry for making this sort of about rui. will not happen again#I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THE KAMIYAMA HIGH FESTIVAL EVENT#and i will elaborate on the graduation thing btw#@ lunchtime i came with this wholeee scenario#rui’s a lil bit worried about mizuki after whatever happens in mizu5#and is all ‘oh boy i hope she’s enjoying today’#and cough okay i stole this bit from honakana wedding BUT#tsukasa’s like ‘well rui. you know what time it is’#‘its our last school festival rui. we need to make sure everyone’s having fun!#tis the duty of us seniors HAHAHAHA ok so blah blah blah’#and just ig. kidnaps ena for a little bit#phantom thief style. she is so confused but plays along#and mizuki and rui (and the other 2nd years) get to go around the school to look for them#over time rui kind of realises ‘hm. actually. mizuki is having so much fun right now… wow the power of companionship :)’#and ofc the final destination is that rooftop#and rui lets the 2nd years go in front of him and watches them…. and is all ‘wow. i might never get to do this again.#i’m so glad we get to be connected like this :)’#blah blah. wholesome ending. blah………..#what a ramble hey#but tis my duty as chairwoman of rui#a friend of his is a favourite of mine#cough SORRY AGAIN
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t4t steddie arguing who gets to carry the other over the threshold
they comprise and take it in turns carrying each other
#stranger things#steddie#steve harrington#transfem steve harrington#eddie munson#transmasc eddie munson#eddie: i’m the man so i should carry you#stevie: i’m taller and stronger than you so i’m less likely to drop you#eddie: are you challenging me??#stevie: …yeah i guess i am#eddie: bet#eddie: *drops stevie before making it through the doorway*#eddie: …would it still count if i gave you a piggy back?#stevie: i mean technically yeah bc you’d be carrying me#eddie: *gives stevie a piggyback over the threshold*#stevie: okay let me down its my turn now#stevie: *effortlessly sweeps eddie into a bridal carry and walks outside then immediately back inside*#eddie: *swooning*
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Wife and I looking at the 70 mm brutalist screenings this week like….. okay our options are the Angelika with the subway rattling every five minutes. or the basement of the Lincoln square amc with the rats where some insect bit my wife during a Spider-Man movie years ago and she had a fever for two weeks. Yeah no. I’ll catch it later Mr. Corbet. Be SO serious.
#just send me a screener so I can watch it in five sittings get over yourself#no Alamo notably which is so odd for a 70 mm but these meager options could mean two things#one that the studio is doing a specific release strategy that is often used to ascribe capital I Importance and Prestige to a film#by choosing those two theaters for the demographic they serve in those areas#or two that they couldn’t get slots at Alamo or Lincoln center or other common 70 mm places and this is all they were offered#both are like LOL OKAY#a24 has had a near perfect release strategy instinct for a decade now so I don’t doubt them#it’s just that I’m like ITS FOUR HOURS LOL BYE#I CANT GET A RECLINER AT LEAST?????
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So so sorry if you've answered this before [or if you just didn't wanna talk about this] but I noticed your part is absent from the Primadonna Spottedleaf map? Again sorry if this is overstepping bounds but I'm just curious if you knew about that
all good. got kicked for supporting bi lesbians i think. they just said ‘because of the drama’
#which is weird because they supported me previously#gonna say it.#tons of wc creators have no spine. i really tried to understand not wanting to get involved in ‘drama’#and prioritising your participants#but it got to the point where people who agreed with me would still kick me from their maps to sate the rabid callout culture#anyway. can you tell i’m bitter? i’m very bitter. i put in free labour for so many maps and while it is within a host’s rights to kick#whoever they want. its also within MY rights to be bitter about it#sorry lol. rant over#ignore me#anyway it would be nice if people were this aggressive about the people who raided my servers calling me and my participants racial slurs#but i guess racism just isnt as big of a deal as random bullshit queer infighting#OKAY#SORRY#RANT ACTUALLY OVER NOW#yeen rambles#ask
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I’ll never understand younger siblings whining about their older siblings moving away like I bet yall were nasty and annoying too like wow all those years and you claim to adore the older sibling and post oh woe is me the older sibling abandoned me … girl … the older sibling didn’t have a parental certificate or anything.
#since when were we friends nor did I have any obligation over you or towards you#we are literally roommates here acting like we’re friends#dora daily#I say this cause I saw yet another younger sibling on tiktok trying to make themselves a victim like the older one is clearly avoiding the#whole family and changing their phone number so u guys don’t contact for a reason like wth did you guys do that’s so bad they would go#through all that trouble#‘older siblings will never understand how doing that affects us physically and mentally’ oh quit whining and cope#I didn’t have an older sibling I relied on only myself heck not even strangers help me when I’m in dire need#I think yall need to cope harder and wake up to the real world#not all younger siblings but a lot of them like my little brother 13yo is good id never want to abandon him but the rest … yeah bye#idgaf you should’ve not been an idiot because believe me ik kids mess up but not like this#and now she’s grovelling at my feet bye grovel harder#like just an hour ago or so she came up to me and was like I’m going to school for the first day are you gonna miss me#I said no because she always tells me no when I ask her if she missed me#and somehow she had the audacity to be upset like okay#the same girl who tells me to move out btw#my mum said oh u have to be her best friend cause if she has nobody here then she will have to rely on strangers#and she would find herself in trouble cause they don’t have good intent oh gee I wonder which person caused me to do that#it’s honestly ironic#like Eris and virtue happened because she couldn’t step up and be a normal mother byeeee#and anyways whyre you acting like having a sibling is essential#it honestly isn’t like why would I be nice to a girl who dogs on me and beats me up and is disrespectful#she’s not that young anymore she’s almost 12#‘oh they have different personalities’ well i hate hers and im not to be forced to like it either its my right
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i just woke up in the middle of the night, started immediately like catastrophising because that’s just what my brain does. and then, not 30 seconds into it, the concept of Jay Ferin was inserted into my mind. i instantly felt better. she’s like my guardian angel <3
#kicks my feet like an anime school girl#jayyy <3 love herrr <3#ok i back to sleep now#i just thought to share that cause it’s very funny to me :]#i would like to emphasize that the last part is a joke but also not because wow girly just ‘get down mr president’ed me#except the bullet is the crippling feeling of impending doom and the president is me#which is crazy because i would never ever want to be the president i mean truly FUCK that but whatever#lmao okay but nice to know my brain still loves my pirates :]#i’ve been very very focused only on reading Worm and a few other books that i haven’t even watched Judgement yet :(#which isn’t a bad thing cause i loveeee worm sooo much and there’s nothing saying i have to watch the episode immediately upon its upload#but still man idk i think jays losing steam with keeping my anxiety back#she’s only one girl </3#a very lovely girl that i adore! but only one nontheless#though i’m sure there are people on here that would disagree hehehe#ok cal go to sleep now#baiiiii everyone :3#see you all tomorrow where i will have a very rough school day and then watch jrwi and everything will be sunshine and rainbows again#late night rambles are done for now :]#over the hills
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hey just a reminder that sometimes you have to accept that you’re going to have to have feelings without a filter, and you’re going to have to tell people that you care about them, and you’re going to have to start saying i love you. if you want affection and love and adoration you cannot close yourself off forever and ever. keep up your walls as you must to protect yourself but not forever. and if you feel like you can’t ever let them down then i’m sorry. i hope you find someone that makes you feel safe enough to start saying and feeling these things.
#lolaa.txt#little thing about emotions.#i’m not affectionate. not really.#im a deflector and i laugh off affection and love a lot#and all it has ever done for me is push away people who want to help me so so badly.#and it’s a slow change. slowwwww. the tiniest steps .#and i go back so often.#today my boyfriend said he missed me and that i was pretty when i woke up and i told him i was going to never speak to him again#because i cannot accept these things and it so so hard to say that i appreciate it#but i know i know he needs to hear it and he needs to feel appreciated yknow?#and im working on it im trying so hard#especially when you have been fucked over for saying your feelings in the past. it’s hard. it’s so hard. and i’m sorry#just. tell your friends you love them. tell people when you’re excited or happy.#smile when you get to do fun things. laugh at jokes! scream and yell and cry and hit things and grin and be out there#numbness will not fix what problems you have. it won’t.#it’s comfortable but you can’t have love without discomfort sometimes#sorry about all this i’m just . i’m having a bad day and it’s really hard today to be open to everyone#so this is my try#i am upset. and i miss my friends. and i love my mom and i am also mad at her because i am frustrated with the world right now.#and i am tired but because its tiring to force myself to exist and feel#i need to relearn how to be a child about it#and that’s okay#that’s all ; sorry for the long tags. thank you for being here
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I don’t know, me personally, I just think two adults playing pretend & pretending being gross together with full open communication & consent between them is harmless, but maybe that’s just me.
#this is very much a vague post if there ever was one & I’m absolutely vagueing#again; pay attention to the wording & reread if you need to#I think adults playing pretend on its own is harmless as long as everyone involved consents to it#idk how much more simply I can put this tbh but had to unfollow someone over saying certain kinks are harmful#like wow okay if they knew my other blog they’d be saying I’m an absolute freak probably tbh#always seems to be younger folks who have the unhealthy takes about kink but in this case i cant say nothing yknow?#idk this person & they're going through some stuff so i can't really say anything without it sounding tone policing plus parasocial#but just because bad people like a kink doesn't make a kink bad; trauma too doesn't make a kink bad; uncomfortable maybe but not harmful#just like in general yknow? its only as harmful as you make it between yourself & others. Everyone has to communicate or the whole thing#will fall apart. In this case there was absolutely some communication issues which lead to trauma but also just seeing someone agree that#a kink I like is harmful is like idk made me super uncomfortable even if the person is traumatized & going through it still just yeesh#idk seeing someone you follow for a while be like 'yeah this kink you like is bad' when by itself its actually harmless just leaves a#bad taste in your mouth if that makes sense. it just really rubbed me the wrong way so mmm 😕#I hope that person gets all the help & support they need; I'm just uncomfy with the rhetoric of 'certain kink bad' when its just like not#you're traumatized actually is what's going on & that person who hurt you was into said kinks so now in your brain those r bad#absolutely fair way to feel; but adults playing pretend with these specific ones is absolutely not inherently harmful#& pushing that kind of mindset is also coincidentally something right wingers especially want right now & commonly so yeah no#I just bleh it makes me feel gross when other people say stuff akin to that like oh that's like SWERF rhetoric even if unintentional jeez 😓#mine#op
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The mortifying ordeal of Blog You Respect and Think is Cool reblogging your Self Indulgent AU with tag comments on every chapter
#ra speaks#stressing myself out bc my silly self indulgent au caught their attention and not the main story I’ve been polishing for over a year#*screaming* it’s fine it’s cool its cool it’s fine#I really admire their ethics and share this interest w them so it’s like. oughhghhh it’s okay you don’t need to look at the thing I made#it’s been months too since I wrote the first half so it’s like WHAT IF I DID STUPID SHIT???#edit: they stopped reblogging w tag comments and are now chronologically liking the chapters. is. is that good? are they queueing them to#avoid spamming? are they like oh it’s not actually that good let’s just quietly read the rest to be polite?#<- I’m aware of how fucking insane I sound. I am acknowledging my stupid social anxiety
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#the sun went down at 4 pm and I am once again having an existential crisis#I went to a bookstore and saw stupid romance book covers and started thinking about how I’m probably gonna ‘die alone’#whatever the fuck that means#I don’t KNOW okay I don’t know if I’m aromantic or just too traumatized and avoidant to be capable of intimacy. but I have no friends and#I’m lonely as fuck#and I don’t want to date but I want someone to be committed to me and I want someone to fuck but I don’t trust people and I#am pretty sure if I fucked someone I would burst into tears bc of how long its been since I’ve been touched#I want a family. like that is one thing I know for sure I don’t know exactly what that even means or looks like#but I want a FAMILY. and not the one I was born with#I don’t mean kids I mwan commitment and fucking. People#and the universe is not on my fucking side girl. she’s not I don’t care what you say#I thought I had a found family in college and look where that is now. dust#and I’m 25 years old#and I’m missing so many milestones#and maybe it doesn’t matter maybe dating and fucking do not give you worth yeah yeah okay#but this is not the life I thought I would have at this age. and I feel like I should be entitled to grieve that#not like I want to. I want to be normal and I want to be over it.#to be perfectly fucking honest. I wish I could wake up tomorrow#and fall in love with someone and have a boring normal happily ever after.#I wish I could be the person who’s capable of that and I know that’s a naive and childish and unwoke desire to have#but I’m just being so real with you chief. I do not know how to live in this world being who I am.#and I don’t want to fucking be alone.#not because it makes me less worthy but because I’m just fucking sick of being lonely. okay.#anyway. I’m probably deleting this#p
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