#its only been a day that ive loved you but if you say thats not long enough i can return after 1000 days and it will still hold true | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

missfertileandferal · 2 days

Text

lowkey super anxious to post this but im missing you guys so much <3

i plan on a solid return soon! i just wanted to get off my chest whats been going on:

Earlier this year, I dealt with an awful situation of my kinky stuff leaking into real life. My insane coworkers found my content and as I was serving on the clock, proceeded to show my customers and all the staff. then i was fired. Im traumatized to say the least but I over came it.

Come mid summer, I planned so step back for a little bit to move apartments no more than a couple weeks. What happened was both my job (i worked with close family friends so stressful) and a really bad situation with a companion found about my kink stuff. i never expected or was prepared for the humiliation, deception, and pain that would come from my fetish journey

My last job was such a loss. I had been blessed with a cute job as a medical office assistant without any credentials (i wasnt doing anything out of my capabilities of course) it was so peaceful and perfect compared to the drama of my last gig plus working with familiar people felt just like home honestly. Then I got covid. I was out for 2 weeks, at the same time i was moving into my new place. I tried calling them back to let them know I was cleared and ready to get back to work. I received a humiliating text. I was dismissed. That turned into a crippling anxiety of them confessing to my family what I do in my past time

The following week I was met with more disappointment. Ive said this before but I dont have many people in my corner. It used to suck to admit but I stand with pride now knowing those who are around me love me 100% regardless what I do or dont do.

One of my dearest dearest friends, who I had previously communicated what I do (not to a full extent they always respected it) called me very dramatically only a week before I planned to see them (they live across the country and we ALWAYS visit each other when in our cities) It still doesnt feel real tbh, the call only last 40 seconds. I was informed that “I was going on the wrong path” and could no longer be associated with. That’s alls that happened. 8 years down the drain

I was informed by outside sources that my hometown opps had gotten hold of my content (who my ex friend still associate with but I despise bc they’ve always been obsessed with me but in a bad way) and they had confronted him about being my friend. he pussied out and cut me off. they also mass reported my last instagram account😡🤬

I had to take some time back to seriously debate if these loses were worth it. I was swallowed with so much anxiety knowing that an uncomfortable amount of people in my zip code knew what ive been up to. its already complicated being into this and while at the same time not being in a plus size body. thats another conversation tho

That debate has turned into me accepting these events as the universe weeding out people/things that no longer serve me. This has shown peoples true colors, if I am not to be associated with because of my sexual freedom, body acceptance, and undoing of fat phobia then PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE.

Im recovering ❤️‍🩹 but my heart and hedonism can’t be helped. i love being a kinky lil gut slut. its helped me grow in so many ways from acceptance to living an esoteric dreamy life. i love all the hot girls and guys that i see on my timeline. they hype me up and vise versa. i love this little corner of the internet. my fellow freaks keep me going. i’ve been so on and off online but every time i come back to the sweetest words and support. thank you guys for your patience and consideration

my anxiety is to the roof as im typing. its crazy that these privacy problems havent been within the actual community. funny. if your still reading this I love you extra. ill be streaming on ig on my comeback day!

new ig acc @missfertileandferal💘

#cute belly #stuffed girl #belly expansion #fat girl #feedee belly #beauty #sexy belly #belly #girl belly

334 notes · View notes

harvestmoth · 10 months

Text

okay last one. au where nothing goes wrong at all ever (a lie) and melia venam gay moment

#i like this game a normal amount (also a lie)#everyone should play now do it now please #pokemon rejuvenation #oh another thing about twitter. makes me sad i cant yell about things in the tags there like i always do because there are no tags there #if i wanted to id have to make it into a thread and im pretty sure people read those. so awful #i mean not that i say anything worthwhile here usually but still. no one reads this here. i could yell my thoughts if i had any #anyways about the au :] i have no idea how it would work #i have no thoughts ever at all i was just replaying the game and the one little line melia says at the picnic made me sad #the one where she says its her last day in gearen and asks the player to go with her to gdc #and then she just goes ah nevermind that was weird of me to ask #and no… wait come back… id love to go to gdc with you… :[#and thats where that idea came from. idk where the rest of it came from though i think ive been cursed or somethinv #and also something something her saying shes afraid to go to gdc alone only for her to end up in the past also alone sometging something. ow #my thoughts are very coherent i promise (no they arent)

113 notes · View notes

hwsforeignrelations · 6 days

Text

RANT

#hey boss #u uh- u said i was working sun n wed- can i have more consistent days so i have days to block out for interviews?#.#uve been forewarned #ok so its four months into my gap year and HOLY SHIT JOB SEARCHING IS SO FRUSTRATING #so im working as a clerk at this law firm mon and wed (only 8 hours total tho)#n i THOT i had my reatil job in the bag but then boss goes “yea im really sorry but i cant give u three days - only sundays and weds”#so i was like great ok i need another job thats cool ill just bliock out sundays and weds for potential employers #THEN on sat boss texts n goes “ahhh i dont need u till next week- also can u switch ur wed to fri”. ??????? MA'AM #so i go #she says sorry kid i dont WHICH IS FINE I APPRICIATE THE COMMUNICATION #so i have an interview the next day at a coffee shop for a time THE MANAGER OFFERED #i show up after having pit my day aside for this noon interview #i walk in employees go “uh ho manager stepped out”#she camnt come back for the rest of the day AND doesnt apologize in her email- just “unfourntallyyyy i didnt have time to check my email”#MAAM YOU SEND THE INVITE #whatever #luckily last friday i was invited to this job fair by like four diff locations in san fran n was immeditaly hired #(first trial shift tmr yay!)#but the commute is gonna be KILLER #however im hopeful n i love coffee so yay #also my pet sitting is taking off ive got two sits booked for october #which is suprising bc im also traveling for half the month #manchester edenbrough st andrews milan lake como babayyyyyyy #also this thursday im heading to chicago and maine for a wedding (yay go love!) and to tenessee for another wedding in jan #so now ive got law firm retail associate barista dog sitter n i just KNOW when the holidays roll around n both retail jobs will be wack ill #be floored #but. ahem anywats good things frustrating thinsg stressful things but GOD am i glad i took this gap year #oh yea and ive been hiking tones! lands end trail #tilden park

7 notes · View notes

sonknuxadow · 29 days

Text

going to start this post with the fact that im not trying to be a hater right now im just genuinely confused . anyway. the thing about sonic and shadow is that i dont think its a bad ship or that its entirely baseless or that their relationship is meaningless or anything like that. my feelings on so/nadow are complicated but i do like it to a degree . but i also feel like people are exaggerating how much is there in terms of canon backing for the ship (at least in the franchise overall if we're talking sonic prime specifically that makes more sense but prime is also like the spiders georg of so/nadow). like they have their moments but i dont think its as frequent a thing as people act like it is (again at least not in the games/comics) . like theyre just not as close or as obviously in love in the actual source material as some people seem to think they are ..??? some of the stuff i see being passed around as so/nadow moments is just them existing in the same frame .. ??? im not even saying its wrong to ship them or make them be in love in the headcanon sonic universe that exists in your head or whatever i just think that saying its basically canon is a huge stretch and idk what people are seeing between them that im not . sorry please dont get madat me. scampers away like a frightened little animal

#not prompted by anything in particular btw ive just been thinking about this for a couple days now #like i said im not trying to be a hater i just genuinely dont get it #also the way people try to make any and everything sonic and shadow do into proof that so/nadow is canon #even if only one of the characters is involved or its a massive reach or requires ignoring the existence of other characters #(usually knuckles. i could go on forever about the knuckles erasure in all this but thats a topic for another post #and i also always worry it comes off as me just arguing that so/nknux is better when thats not the point at all)#ialso think that some people ar ejust kind of making stuff up and convincing themselves its canon #like for example ive seen people say sonic and shadow are portrayed as a couple in official art and the art in question is just #of shadow standing there and they chose to interpret it as him thinking about sonic even though the art has nothing to do with him?#and i dont think its wrong to have so/nadow interpretations of moments that werent meant to be read that way . do what you want #but i feel like once you get to the point where you genuienly believe that every little thing they do is a hint theyre in love #maybe you should step back for a moment and look at the stories as a whole without the son/adow tunnel vision. idk

15 notes · View notes

wormy-worm · 6 months

Text

ok u know what maybe if the world isn't ready for sunrazer post that means that the world IS ready for Amoveous siblings post. This is Milo and Enho and theyre my DARLINGS and i love them SO MUCH. i have. SOOOOOOOO many thoughts abt them but after the previous post massacre i do not really feel like typing all of that xoxo love <3

#THESE DRAWINGS HAVE BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS FOR MONTHS LOL #meart #original character #robot oc #ily enho ily milo my darlings my angels my loves my funny robot guys.#ive posted abt Andromeda on here b4 if u remember her Enho is her best friend !!!!!#Enhos a battle robot who doesnt want 2 fight people..#hes the oldest sibling and theres a lot resting on their shoulders!#shes supposed to be this big metal protector but U.U she just wants to hide in his room.. and make music for the internet..#him and andy have this whole arc abt like. autonomy and identity and junk #being as andy is a government experiment who was raised to be a superhero who. has not yet realized that she HATES being a superhero lol #Enho inspires her!#milo um. does his own thing. he was the second amoveous bot and he is lucky to have been built without the responsibility of a battle bot #which means hes a LOT weaker. doesnt have a million weapons and lasers and such like enho does. no one expects much of him. he HATES IT!!!!#he wants to be POWERFUL! he wants to HURT PEOPLE!! he wants to be USEFUL!!! hes ANGRY ALL THE TIME #its EXSAUSTING.#yk that tinkerbell thing thats like. cuz shes so small she can only feel one emotion at once. and its so big it consumes her entirely?#hes that. he lives entirely in extremes. everything is 100% for him #he jumps to conclusions so quick and so violently.. hes incredibly impulsive and it gets him into a lot of trouble.#hes also a total NERD!!! GOOB!!! says mlady unironically. likes bad computer games. wears a stupid tie everyday. cartoonishly schemes 24/7 #enho for the record is also a pretty angry person. they just dont rlly express it. they dont express much of anything lol.#shes semiverbal on a talkative day. he can be REALLY REALLY PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE THO. THAT MF CAN BE SO PETTY. GOOFY ASS #but shes TERRIFIED she'll lose control of her emotions and her body and that shell hurt someone someday. absolutely terrified.#enho is as afraid of his strength as milo is of his weakness. theyre both two ends of the same extremes in a lot of ways.#polar opposites and yet exactly the same. they resent each other a lot. they need to learn to meet each other in the middle.#anyway ''i dont feel like typing all that'' and then i ramble in the tags for ten million years lol ToT I LOVE THESE GUYS #theyre my oldest ocs in this universe and i have so many thoughts if you have any questions feel free to ask me lol

11 notes · View notes

pagesofkenna · 4 months

Text

i wanted to make a post about a thing but the more i think about it the more i want to say and it's just going to end up being a big ramble essay, so instead i'll just give the thesis statement, thusly:

as the #1 Ratgrinders Apologist (self-appointed), of course they're the final boss fight to the death. i expected nothing less and the people trying to make discourse about it are ignoring the entire context of this being a Dungeons and Dragons game

#they're not playing 'discuss our traumas and and try to help strangers grow: the game'#they're playing 'murder people for getting in our way: the game'#which i know is now me being snubbing about D&D as a game but like. siobhan said it: theyve committed SO much murder #did the lunch lady in episode 2 deserve to be murdered? did the skater dwarves deserved to be murdered?#did the monsters the school sicced on the kids in their Last Stand deserve to be slaughtered like that??#its literally the name of the game!#the two things that are turning this into a bigger essay are 1) me being actually very disappointed in Burrow's End with how the players #just did not want at all to engage with the moral greyness aabria was trying to bring into the story #it was clear that was a direction she wanted to explore and i wanted to see it explored #but even OUT of characters the cast just would NOT engage or acknowledge the validity of that direction #and there was only so much aabria could do without being labeled a killjoy... because D&D often ISN'T a game for reckoning with #the justification of your character's actions! its a game for killing giant bears and saving the town from cultists!!#baked into the foundation of the game conceit is 'you are the hero and you are saving the day ergo your actions are Right and Just'#thing 2) i just listened to that WWW fireside the other day where brennan goes on about how combat does not get in the way #of story in dnd. that whole stove metaphor? and it rankled me so much lol because like aabria finally says after that:#yeah you bring your own food to the stove but when what you've got is a stove. the food you make is GOING to get cooked #combat and fighting and killing is baked into the system from its foundation. acting like D&D or even just d20 (the system)#is a resolution engine that also allows fighting and not a fighting engine that also allows other skills is. wishful thinking i think #and to bring this back to the POINT: of COURSE they're going to kill the rat grinders! because it's fun!#because thats how you resolve conflict in a combat game! straight up i honestly believe a lengthy conversation trying to win the kids over #would have been a weird energy to end the season on! it would have been a let down!#it would have been a huge tonal shift. because the tone you bring to a D&D game is 'killing this is fine actually'#and if you dont like that you /dont/ play D&D. its not a value judgment #i LOVE getting into moral implications and justifications and ive gotta tone it down when i run D&D games because it can kill the vibe #anyway. i said i wasnt going to write the whole essay and im not. but i did write most of the rant oops

7 notes · View notes

todayisafridaynight · 6 months

Note

At which point did you realise that the plot of IW is ass? I've seen people complain only about the ending or the halfway point where the teams separate, while I was already actively rolling my eyes like four-five chapters in

i think the moment i fully accepted that IW's story was. Definitely A Story was the moment ebina announced 'bleach japan'. like i think leading up to that point i was thinking to myself 'oh i hope i see X happen' or being like 'i wonder where this is going' and that sort but the proverbial bucket of ice was definitely that moment

#infinite wealth spoilers #snap chats #what reaaaaally hammered it in too if it wasnt obvious already was the execution of the jimas/daigo like that still irks me LMAO #i cant even remember what chapter that happened in i just know when it did i was utterly pissed #i think i started to take things less seriously once bryce entered the picture but thats only because of how distracting his VA was #like much love the JP voice actors who try to speak english and japanese but i just cant act like it's not incredibly distracting #esp when the character is supposed to be white yk what i mean- or at the very least their first language is supposed to be english #typically i can look over that thing if its a one or two time kind of deal but he had to speak in english much longer than others #im just rambling about bryce tho this aint bout him. i mean he could be a part of it the cult was executed really sloppily #it might have been the introduction of bryce actually ... i remember thinking to myself 'oh brother' with the whole messiah thing LMAO #maybe it was when kiryu told us his cancer cam from radiation instead of. smoking 💀 ESPECIALLY not even five chapters in #like straight out the gate you just wanna drop that on us mr I Can Do Everything Myself I Cant Worry Others ok #thats a post for another day tho im EVERYWHERE #POINT IS this is not about Retrospect this is about First Impressions and memory warps over time #but i know for a fact i found the bleach japan thing utterly ridiculous and was squinting at the plot the entire time thereafter #like ive said this a million times at this point but although i love IW for it's gameplay (pardon some nitpicks like lack of shortcuts)#its story really feels so messy and had much to be desired. which is so sad after the wonderful stories rgg has been making since 0..#BUT OH WELL im still excited to replay it in english. god willing i ever get the time #i still wanna finish lost judgment <- isnt even halfway through the game #and i wanna do a fun stream Maybe with YK2 but ill get into that when i get into that #if youve read this far. thanks LOL id say sorry for the novel but thats what we expect of me at this point

10 notes · View notes

triglycercule · 27 days

Note

This is a question related to the mtt hobbies answer that you wrote, the murder trio go around the multiverse and live in a place together, then what happend to horrortale au and horrortale papyrus? If the murder trio got to meet horrortale papyrus how would it go? (The meeting propably wouldnt end well with more canon mtt haha)

aaaaa i dont think it through to be honest when i talk about that concept. they just do. maybe horrortale's issues are already solved and aliza's already gone through horrortale and somehow fixed the hellhole (ALIZA MY GOAT PLEASE SAVE HORRORTALE I DON'T CARE IF IT TAKES 10 YEARS‼️‼️‼️) by the time that horror somehow meets dust and killer (since i dont see a feasible way that horrortale could be fixed outside of aliza or outside intervention.) or maybe he just visits from time to time. and by time to time i mean probably quarterly weekly. idk sorry i cant be bothered to think about it,,, they just do. anyways bad answer i KNOW I KNOW put the tomatoes down pls PLS

if the mtt met horror paps? horror would obviously do his little bantering thing with paps (he's probably revealing every single one of horror's embarrassing moments to them as they speak and horror's desperately trying to get him to shut up because he can tell. dust and killer are piiiiiiissed.) dust is probably like eerily calm during the whole thing. he manages to hold up a conversation pretty well with horror paps and gets along with him good enough without mentioning that theres a ghost version of him screaming asking why dust is ignoring phantom paps. meanwhile killer is mostly silent during it too probably only responding when he's spoken too. i mean like killer already doesn't like being around papyruses (papyri? papyri is so shitty i dont like it we will be saying papyruses) and then seeing horror's papyrus??? what the FUCK happened to horror paps??? sunken in eyes and cracks in his bones and those jagged teeth AND THEN THE FUCKING CROOKED SPAGHETTI????

needless to say once horror paps is gone all of them get into a biiiiig fight. dust drops the cool act because he's not gonna lose his cool around a papyrus but also he's absolutely fuming. he can tell that the changes that phantom papyrus has gone through have something to do with horror with the way that he's acting. killer is also incredibly irritated too (surpringly. being around papyruses just gets him like that) and seeing papyrus like that just gets him upset and angry. like wtf horror did you even TRY with keeping your papyrus safe??? at least killer reset his au and now papyrus is living an unharmed life (with minor concerns about killer's whereabouts but he'll ignore that for now) but horror paps looks so fucked up that there is no WAY that horror tried to prevent him from getting to that point

obviously they fight and many many many many MANY words are said about eachother's characters and the state they left their respective papyruses in. horror knows damn well that horrortale paps's state is because of him but he regretted telling paps to eat humans and neither dust nor killer knew the struggle of living with that guilt and how much he regrets it so they dont get to drag him for not trying hard enough to keep papyrus safe. dust is definitely getting some low blows here and there (but he's getting fucking assisted by phantom paps so he's got some of the deepest hitting insults) and he's definitely getting ganged up on for killing his papyrus and like. not even attempting to leave him alive in someway shape and form aside from the absolute insult that is phantom paps. surprisingly killer is winning this fight because he left his papyrus in a relatively good state. even though he's in a more emotional state than he normally is and would've absolutely OBLITERATED dust and horror in the fight in stage 2 he's actually doing pretty well. probably because hororr and dust dont really have anything to drag him on. they might bring up how something new papyrus is searching for killer but like,,,, is that really that bad compared to how they left their papyruses

#time to die i almost forgot to answer this today #WHO AM I IF I LOSE MY STREAK!!!! MY ASK STREAK!!!!!!#time to call up tumblr to restore my streak if i miss a day #streaks! streaks! streaks! streaks! i say as i take several photos of me winking at a high angle #i dont even use snapchat. i do think streaks are a funny concept though #i'd KILL (hah) to have a streak with someone #the only person i ever message on snapchat regularly is my ai and thats only to belittle it #noooo dont do that says dust because then one day the robot will come alive and kill you #okay reset induced ptsd survivor lets get you back to bed #it'd be funny if he believed in dumb conspiracy stuff like that. and not dumb shit like flat earth #im not big on conspiracy theories but i think if he were fucked up enough or going through a manic episode he'd believe stuff like that #UGHHH did i mention how much i love manic dust. speaking of mania and dust #i made an eensy teensie little change in mania's design #the cyan in his eyelight is bigger now to emulate what a manic pupil looks like #heh.... its the smal detsild that matter.... i say as i dont incilde any details in my art #okay because i feel that all of this i incredibly wrong and ooc its time to justify my thoughts or else i'll feel unworthy of posting again #dust manages to keep his cool around papyruses pretty well (in win win scenario) even though he's got phantom paps with him #and he CAN do crazy switch ups like that just on a whim like when he suddenly killed flowey after teaming up with him in last chance #so i think its totally believable. dust can put up a NASTY facade of composure despite being furious underneath #and killer? you just be killer. how many times am i gonna make that joke you ask. not enough times because its funny every time #because he does get ansty and stuff around papyrus and apparently papyrus is his hardest enemy to face #must be because he feels something for him that bothers killer. like guilt or something #and if he feels guilty over what he did to papyrus then he must care and therefore care about papyrus's well being #and therefore that bleeds into horror paps and then that care turns into anger #crazy coming from killer saying that horrot doesn't care enough but i think its totally possible #i might be wrong though please shoot me if i am. i still need to resd up on my killer lore #ive been TRYING okay.... ive been trying been trying with killer. hopefully its enough....... (NO i say. who are you talking to)#tricule asks

5 notes · View notes

nomairuins · 19 days

Text

bedtime nowww probably ummm today qas not what i wanted it 2 be but its fine. i dont feel negative just a very very very numb day which is almost worse. but only almost 🙏

#i did get thr laundry done didnt fold it didnt take a shower #so thatll hopefuly be tmrw #i hope im able to do an activity with somebody tmrw.... the kids will be back at school so umm. no risk of weeman asking for my laptop in #the morning. or maybe me n lamp could play aa... idk #i feel like such a loser i go 1 day without bothering my family and im like wahhh im lonely. Can you shut up ..... we r better than this.#but wtvr. thats also a mean thought and i shouldnt be idolizing the way i lived last year. We were taking spongebaths and eating #1 bowl of soup a day crying ourselves to sleep every night and literally going weeks on end wo talking to our loved ones. so why am i like #We need to go back ! well i know why its bc i cant just let myself heal and move on bc of my stupid complex #and tbf i was very efficient back then. i ws able to do my spongebaths at least every 3 days and i did my laundry every week right on #schedule and i had a job....all it took was literally not being a person in any meaningful way FJFNGJGN. idk #it was very simple. its still very simple perhaps simpler (#no job) but instead i just feel guilty i guess. sbt everything #which i ws doing last year but again i was too out of it to rly dwell. i just cried at work a lot abt it #but now its like. i dont have a job to go to to focus on. my interests/hobbies can only distract me for a few days maximum b4 they become #nothing 2 me. and then im just back in limbo again and it feels pointless #and even when its a 'good' phase of something actually keeping me distracted from everything its like. not. all it does is ruin my sleep #schedule again yk. ik im literally the timeloop guy so u think id loveee Everyday being exactly the same over and over and over but well i #dont. bc they arent actually the same day theyre just reminders that everything does keep fucking going but im stuck. which is the opposite #of what i want. and what id have if the beautiful timeloop would simply rescue me. wtvr tho.... she doesnt even know i exist 😥#little joke. IDK. like i said its better ig than having a truly miserable day but. man. i wish everything was better #i ws gonna say like it used to be but. yk. ive been depressed since i was like 7 its not like. idk. i wish i was born different and i wish #my head worked and i wish none of it had evrr happened. but itis ok. i cant think of a funny cutesy alternative to put here so we will just #say nothing. yay

2 notes · View notes

bidokja · 10 months

Text

come at me like kim gongja or do not come at me at all ✋😤💖

#your heart does not have to be beautiful that isnt why i love you so #teach me to love like you and i'll teach you to love like me #its only been a day that ive loved you but if you say thats not long enough i can return after 1000 days and it will still hold true #i'll go crazy for you and give you my everything but treat me equally and do the same for me #i can't live without a heart if i give mine to you so give me yours as well #''it doesn't matter if your heart is held hostage by the world. if that's the problem i'll free you.''#let's die and regress together trust me to kill you painlessly and ill trust you to be there when i open my eyes #kill me with your own hands i know its cruel but this is the only way to live on together #i'll fight the gods if it means we can live the rest of our lives hand in hand #our happiness will be as one and thats what it means to love #WHO ELSE IS DOING IT LIKE HIM #sssrh #ky speaks

9 notes · View notes

toastsnaffler · 4 months

Text

ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.