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isalisewrites · 1 month ago

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ive been reading terrible but great since 2021 ive been reading tomarry since i was like 12 reading fates favorite. i dont rly interact bc my main fandom and presence is so far apart that my little circle deeefinitely doesnt gaf abt tomarry or hp and wld in fact be scandalized . so i was really regretting that i dont have anyone to cry to about how spectacular and lifechanging that was and then i guessed i cld jst anon u since thats a thing.

ur a hero. just the exact, perfect, seriously right amount of lead up because if there was more i really wld snap under the pressure of tom being too thick because then it wld just piss me off instead i was spellbound. u provided a genuine .. i swear masterpiece u were providing like a parent oh wow ..... like how people want sweet treats every now and then i never had to go searching. its 1 am for me and ive had sadly late nights this last few weeks since winter break began and it happened the other day that it was 5 am and i had two beautiful long chapters of terrible but great waiting for me when i woke up. and when i tell u oooooooooooh god i sobbed like a fucking baby last night reading that. harrys heartbreak my god. my goodness. this kind of emotional turmoil probably doesnt exist so far at this extent in any other tomarry im following. that doesnt matter i wont need it because wow. truly incredible.

hes finally a bit. understanding of himself. he knows hes in love now. wow . i am a small puddle

oh and how i cried for voldemorts passing. u have no clue like i had snot all down my throat i was under my blanket like i was twelve again or something. seriously i cried because not only did u craft that so excellently but i was as attached to him as harry is . because i care so much for every little thing in this story because ive practically grown a bit with it . wow its 2025 now you know. 47 minutes since the clock went 12. so its been four years of your writing this piece anyway and ive been blessed. so thankyou i cant share my overwhelmed incandescent happiness with anyone else in the world at all sadly tragically its my own fault anyways for not tomarrying right. but its personal for me so i dont mind that im only sharing it with u. thankyou so so much.

and my favorite thing ever in this fic besides their bitchfight and toms revelation that harry is his own personal dr who is probably fleamont potter god bless him may he marry euphemia and harry officiates or at least flowerboys for him. praise the lord and isalise for this fleamont and euphemia.......... they bring me SOOOOO MUCH FUCKING JOY wow. im gonna go reread all the fleamont moments. and then im probably gonna reread the last chapter. and then im Prrooobably gonna get it tattoed on my chest. have a good one isalise u absolute unit

FATE’S FAVOURITE NAME DROP.

Fate’s Favourite and Past’s Player are some of my foundational Tom/Harry stories, even though they’re platonic in this series. There’s a fight in Past’s Player that was the spark of my desire for a huge duel to the death, aka The Twink Fight, for Terrible, But Great. I love the fight in Past’s Player, how Tom drugs Harry for information and the two of them have a feral fight. But my story, I wanted something immense.

After all these years, I still remember my favorite line from Fate’s Favourite.

“You have very pretty eyes… They’d look good in my collection.”

Zevi Prince was the reason I wanted Quintus Prince to exist.

you belong to me (i belong to you) sparked the idea of a more complex relationship between Harry and Death in Terrible, But Great. I adore Harry in this fic so very much.

So many others were foundational fics for me.

DMAY

Of Your Making

A Dangerous Game

No Glory

A Dangerous Game and No Glory were trigger fics, as were Fate’s Favourite and Past’s Player. What I mean by that is they were a catalyst in pushing me to write Terrible, But Great. Let me be EXCEPTIONALLY clear: they are all beautifully written and exactly what they need to be in terms of the story they’re trying to tell. They are S Tier stories and truly beloved.

But they weren’t what I was looking for exactly in a Tomarry story.

They scratched a few itches, but not all of them. (I actually have another idea for a Harry/Voldemort fic that was triggered/inspired by If Paths Diverge, but I'm not writing that idea at this time.) I needed something else. Honestly, these kinds of fics are the best because they’re always the source of creating something else. These types of fics are so vital to fandom life in all other fandoms, too.

I wanted a Harry who was equal to Tom, who challenged him. I wanted a Harry who stood up to Tom. I wanted a Harry who was still a Gryffindor, who was still self sacrificing, but also gave into his shadow side for Tom. As Harry grows a little darker, Tom grows a little lighter. (One of my favorite shounen ai manga does this. No.6) I’d read so many fics where Harry was always giving something up for Tom/Voldemort, while Tom/Voldemort never did. Harry was always sacrificing something and Tom was always taking. The inequality grew to hurt too much. I wanted to see a Tom/Voldemort so very smitten, so very much in love that he would do anything for his Harry.

I got a comment on chapter 52 complaining about TBG Harry losing his spine and conviction, that the two of them didn’t feel like equals anymore.

Chapter 53 completely shows otherwise. Tom is willing to do anything for Harry in return. Tom is willing to sacrifice one of his greatest desires, finding out his heritage in the Chamber of Secrets, for Harry. They are equals. Terrible, But Great is a story of sacrifice, but from both of them.

The emotions of Harry realizing he’d do anything for Tom, even stay at his side while he spirals downward is a scary, sobering realization to have. It’s terrifying. He’d have to watch Tom lose himself. Though he’d stay at Tom’s side, he would inevitably watch Tom spiritually die right before his very eyes.

I was crying a ton while editing chapter 52, especially when I added the sections of Tom’s dialogue from previous chapters. UGH, MY HEART. I’m so glad those emotions carried across to you. That’s truly what I wanted. I wanted heartbreak in the most perfect way, one where it was okay in the end.

Thank you so very much for sharing your love of Terrible, But Great with me. It fills my heart so much. I can’t wait to continue on with Arc Three and beyond, to have you all share in more powerful emotions with me. Those boys still have a lot to learn. And don’t worry, we’ll get to see more of Monty and Effie soon. You can look forward to a lot of growth for Harry and Tom in Arc Three and, yes, in Arc Four as well.

Isa

#harry potter #tom riddle #tomarry #hp #fanfiction #fanfic #hp fanfic #terrible but great #anon asks #god bless anons

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ewanmitchellconnoisseur · 11 months ago

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"𝑭𝒖𝒄𝒌 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆" - 𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒕３ 𝑬𝒕𝒕𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒙 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

A/N: This is part three of the Anti-Love Ettore on-shot.

Summary: You and Ettore decided to give the love thing a shot only it's not what either of you expected it to be which forces you to make some choices that would end up haunting you.

TW: spitting, edgning, choking, smut, orgasm denial, nipple play, cuffing, degredation, sexual assault, blood

Word Count: 4.2k

← Previous Part • Next Chapter →

I cant remember who made the X Banner. If you know please tell me.

Everything had been going pretty well.

You and Ettore decided to give being in an actual relationship a shot. It was odd at first Ettore didn't know how to act or what to say, he felt off referring to you as his girlfriend and you could tell he wasn't fully into it.

For Ettore, he knew he was only doing it to keep you around. You wouldn't stay with him otherwise in his mind. If being your boyfriend was what he had to do so that you wouldn't leave him that's what he would do.

He tried his best and even did research about what normal boyfriends would do. He took you out on movie dates which would just end up being awkward as he sat next to you rigid. He tried to be sweet to you but it just came off cold for some reason. The only time he showed the smallest amount of intimacy and care was during sex and afterwards.

A part of you just wanted to end it. Go back to the way you were. But you were also scared, what if he decided none of it was worth the trouble? In a matter of seconds Ettore can find someone new and leave you in the dust. This thought scared you and wracked your brain. He could grow tired of you and find a new plaything in a matter of seconds.

So to make him think it was ok you acted like everything was just that. You tried not to show any discomfort when he was acting odd or pretended that the dates were amazing.

But as time went on you noticed his behaviour changing. Ettore insisted you moved in with him saying that that's what normal couples do after a while. You expressed that typically that doesn't happen for some time but he said you both wouldn't need to wait long.

Somehow without you ever physically saying yes you ended up leaving your old apartment and moving in with him. From there it got even worse. Ettore became specific about the clothes you would wear or when you would leave.

The issue is Ettore didn't think anything of the way he was behaving. Considering he was getting most of his information on relationships online and probably on the wrong side of it he was sure that what he was doing was working. And deep down it was helping him too. Every time you left in a revealing outfit he worried about another guy seeing you and you falling in love with him. Not to mention this was also how he saw the men his mom would date behave. Is this not how he was supposed to be?

When you were out too long he imagined you were on a date or secretly with some guy rather than coming home to him. He's scared that you want a softer love than he can offer. The worry tires him down just like his dark and possessiveness do the same for you. You're both on edge with eachother worrying about what the other would do if you were honest. It's become all too complicated and you regret ever agreeing to this.

You think back to the first and only time he has ever said "I love you". Although that he said he meant it you don't think he did. Ettore isn't capable of real love if anything he is against it. In his mind, the only thing that happens between men and women is purely physical.

So after 3 months of giving this a shot...you are ready to give up. But you know you can't do it like normal people. You know Ettore can kill people considering the one time you helped him get rid of a body. Would he kill you? If you tried to break up with him like everybody else on this planet would Ettore murder you right where you stand?

You had spent weeks thinking of what you should do...and finally, you think you found a solution...one you knew Ettore wouldn't like but could free you both of this mess.

Your mind was made up. You'd enjoy this last night with him and leave the next day while he was out.

You both had planned to stay home that night and just watch movies.

You lay on top of him as you both stared at the screen. You could tell he had fallen asleep as his breathing had gone from being controlled to relaxed. You took this moment to take him in for the last time. To truly get a look at him.

You slowly sat up so you were straddling him. You brushed some hair out of his face smiling as you remember the small argument you had when you tried to convince him to let you give him a haircut. He made it very clear he didn't trust your barber skills.

Ettore started mumbling in his sleep, something he does often. He shifts in his sleep his cock brushing against you in the best way.

Even in his sleep his a horny little man. His hips start moving more as his breathing gets deeper. You smirk lean down and kiss him gently. You get an idea in your head that you know he will hate you for but you can't resist. If this was going to be your last time fucking him you might as well make it good.

You get up to retrieve something as you walk away you hear shuffling and worry he got up but then you don't hear anything else. You get what you need and walk back over to the couch seeing he had flipped onto his stomach.

This works better for you as you gently grab one of his hands and cuff it before bringing the other behind his back to cuff it. Just as it clicks close you see him slowly open his eyes.

His brows furrow as he tries to move his hands. He calls your name with a tired and annoyed tone. You duck behind the couch covering your mouth to stop you from laughing out loud.

Ettore sits up rolling his eyes as he feels the cuffs around his wrist.

"This isn't funny." You get up and walk around the couch so you're standing in front of him. He looks up at you with a straight face. "Take 'em off."

You shake your head and get on his lap straddling his waist. He groans as you slowly grind down on him. He leans forward running his nose up your neck, something about your scent had him going crazy every time.

"If you wanted me to fuck you all you had to do was ask." He whispers in your ear as he lifts his hips up so you can feel more of him.

You yank his head back by his hair. He winces as he smirks.

You had never taken control before. When it came to Ettore there was no room for you to be dominant he liked to control everything. So this? This was an opportunity you could not pass up.

You tilted his head to the side as you kissed your way up his neck still grinding down on him. You listened as he gently panted in your ear. He tried to lift his hips but anytime he did you lifted yourself so he couldn't feel you.

"No moving." You switched to the other side of his neck. You gently bite down on his ear lobe before leaning back and sitting up to take off your shirt.

You move slowly as take the fabric off freeing your breasts. Ettore tries to lean forward but you push him back roughly. He gives you an annoyed look.

You lean back and gently rub your nipples in front of him. He calls your name in annoyance but you keep going. You stand up and slowly take off your shorts and then help him out of his sweatpants before getting back on his lap.

He was so hard that it almost looked painful. He again tried moving his hips and you once again sat up higher so he couldn't reach you.

"This is evil." He leans his head back. You lifted his head back up.

"Spit." He rolled his eyes to which you reached and pinched one of his nipples. He winced in pain as his eyes snapped back to yours. "I said" You lifted your hand to his mouth. "Spit." His jaw clenched.

But he gave in and did as you said and spat in your hand. You reached down and stroked him ever so slowly, gently running your thumb over the slit on his tip each time your hand came up. His head leaned back against the couch as he closed his eyes.

Ettore did his best not to move but it was so hard, you were going far too slow for him. Involuntarily his hips bucked forward as you squeezed him harder.

You quickly let go of him.

"I said no moving." You reach down in between your own legs and gather some of your wetness bringing it to your clit rubbing tight circles.

"Please." You could barely hear the words come out of his mouth. He looked down watching you as you slid a finger inside.

"Please what?" You started to slowly move your fingers in and out of you. You could never reach the same places he can but you could pretend it feels just as good to simply piss him off.

"Fuck baby- pl..please fuck me." He was so pent up at this point that all he wanted to was be buried deep inside you. You smirked as you removed your fingers and lined him up. You ran him through your folds repeatedly, and for the first time, you heard a genuine whimper come out of him. "Please please please."

Pride swells in your chest as you slowly sink down on him the second you're filled to the hilt he groans throwing his head back, mouth agape. An idea comes into your mind and...well since you were leaving anyway you might as well go all the way.

Ettore's eyes widened as he felt you spit in his mouth. You grasped his cheeks in one hand.

"Swallow." He stared at you for a moment before a smirk crept on his face. He would get payback later but for now, he'll play along. He swallowed before leaning forward to kiss you. You gave his tongue access to your mouth.

You lifted your hips just till his tip was in and sat down quickly. You moaned into each other's mouths as you repeated the same movement. Wrapping your arms around his neck you started going faster. Deep in your pleasure, Ettore lifts his hips to meet your pace.

You could feel him twitching inside of you as he got closer and closer. He knew you were close to him as he felt your pussy clenching down on him.

"F-fuck." groaned deeply and you knew he was just there. As he was about to finish you get off him quickly. "What the fuck!?"

You reached down circling your clit as you used your other hand to sink two fingers inside of you. You finished yourself off as Ettore watched. When you opened your eyes and looked at him he was absolutely livid and still horribly hard.

"You have to uncuff me eventually baby." He lifted his knees quickly so you fell against his chest. He licked a bead of sweat off your neck savouring the taste. You brought the same fingers that were just inside you to his lips. He opened his mouth as he sucked them clean.

You reached over to the side table and grabbed the key. You eye him before helping him to lean forward so you can uncuff him. You only got one hand free before he flipped you onto your stomach and shoved himself back inside you.

One of his hands held your head down against the couch cushion as the other pressed down on your back deepening your arch. He wasted no time slamming into you over and over chasing back the high you robbed him of. The only sounds in the room were your whimpers and the sound of his hips meeting your ass.

Ettore watched as his cock started glistening with how wet you were getting. His hips and your ass becoming a sticky mess.

He pulled you up by your hair the same way you had done to him and wrapped his hand around your throat from behind.

"Is this what you wanted?" The angle had him hitting that lovely spot inside you over and over. Your eyes were rolled back and all he got as a response were moans. "Such a dirty fucking slut." He squeezed your throat harder. "Fucking answer me."

"Y-yes!" His other hand let go of your waist as he reached in between your legs and pinched your clit. Tears fell down your cheeks.

"Yes? Yes, your a dirty fucking slut?" All you can do is wince as you try to squirm away from him but he has you tight by the throat. He turns your head and licks one of your tears. "Yeah, I know you are. Come on then. Cum for me baby. Soak my fucking cock." He let go of you and grabbed your hips with both hands.

Ettore watched as your body shook as you came. Your pussy squeezing him so hard, begging him for his cum. "There you go. So pretty when you cum." He started breathing quicker as he felt himself about to finish. He came deep inside you still fucking you slowly even after you both came, fucking his cum back into you as it spilled out. You whimpered as he didn't stop.

"Shhh shh." He soothed you running his hands up your back. He moved you to the side not pulling out as he got comfortable behind you. His arm was under your head as his other hand ran up and down your sides. He kissed your neck and nestled himself in its crook, you could feel his breath fanning over your neck. "Go to sleep."

Ettore opens the door closing it behind him. He places a box on the floor before taking off his shoes and jacket,

Ettore notices how quiet it is which is odd considering whenever you home there's always some noise in the house. He checks the bathroom but you're clearly not in there. He has a gut-wrenching feeling and walks over to his dresser opening the drawers he had emptied to make space for you and your clothes.

His blood runs cold as he sees them empty. No clothes inside. He walks over to the closet by the front door and opens it. Your shoes are gone and your jackets are all gone too. Panicking he takes out his phone sending you multiple messages in a row demanding to know where you were and why your stuff was gone.

He paces around his apartment waiting for a response. No matter how many times she attempts to call you you never pick up. He leaves voicemail after voicemail but you never respond.

30 minutes later his phone dings. He almost falls as he runs to it hoping to see a message from with a lame excuse that will explain everything. But what he finds only breaks his heart. Though you tried to give him a heartfelt message it all went over his head.

His mind only focuses on the fact that you left him. You actually left him.

Ettore wasted no time getting his shoes and jacket back on as he left his house. He spent hours going to all your favourite places and where he would think you would. He didn't stop texting or calling and as he walked out of the last place he could think of he pulled out his phone and sent another text.

He waited a couple seconds before the message had an exclamation mark beside it and said it could not be sent. He tried again and again. He then tried to call you but it immediately went to voicemail.

"No no no." He kept trying and soon realized you had blocked him.

Just like that, he had lost you. The little light he thought he had found was gone and there wasn't anything he could do about it. There was no way he could get you back or track you down.

It sent him in a spiral. He starts searching for you in other women. Trying to see if he can get the same reaction. Two of them were dull, and two others fought back and were too dry for him. There were three others who he had been too rough with and he had managed to clean up their bodies well.

One day he thinks he finally finds one. She looks like you, dresses like you, heck she even talks like you. He was in the same bar as her watching from the corner. When she was finally leaving he followed her. She drunkenly walked home and made the mistake of heading into the park. Ettore made his move then.

He was rough and didn't even try to prepare her. He had hit her multiple times to get her to stop fighting back. When he was finished his dick was soaked in her blood and she was passed out. He sighed as it pissed him off that she wasn't anything like you. She didn't clench around him or cry in pleasure, just pain.

Considering he had some drinks in the bar, he made a drunk error...he had left her there...and that would be his biggest mistake.

Two more days had gone by before there was a knock at his door. He opened it not checking who it was and was met by police tackling him to the ground and arresting him.

The girl had woken up in that park and went immediately to the hospital without showering any evidence off. His DNA was all over her and inside her and that was all they needed to catch him. They tied him to the other three that had died recently and even got him to confess to two more he killed before he had met you.

Ettore knew he was going to jail forever. He would never get out. But that didn't bother him, it was the idea that he would never have a woman again that had him fucking livid.

By the time his trial was over he had been there for two months. He almost assaulted one of the nurses, just itching to be deep inside the poor unsuspecting girl, but he was being watched like a hawk.

There was no death penalty in the UK, so Ettore assumed he would spend the rest of his life in jail surrounded by disgusting men.

That was until he was called into a room where he was told he would be joining a mission. Ettore would head into space and do whatever fucking thing the guy said. He would never return to earth and would die up there. The idea wasn't appealing to him, he could give less of a fuck about stars and shit and didn't even want to entertain the idea. Until the lawyer with pants too tight mentioned it was co-ed.

His eyes lit up and he said yes immediately. Being on that ship was a better fate than being in jail. The chance to be around women again after months of testosterone was so appealing he felt his mouth pool with saliva.

He had never cummed by his own hand so hard in the past few months as he did that night. His brain came up with new material as he imagined the different women that could be on the ship. Surely some of them would be aching for the same thing. They had also been without sex for months just like him. At least one of them would be willing to give it up. And even if none of them were Ettore had no problem resorting to his old tactics.

When the morning finally came for him to leave this shit-hole prison he couldn't have been happier. For the first time in months, he smiled and laughed. The euphoria was all too much for him to contain silently.

That feeling died quick as he watched other inmates board the ship. And across from him sat someone he never thought he'd see again.

Leaving was one of the hardest things you did. For the first two weeks, you kept contemplating going back to him but you knew that wasn't a good idea. You cursed yourself for not staying but then patted yourself on the back for being able to leave.

It was tough for a very long time. You started stealing way more than before. Your new apartment was filled with stuff you never even wanted but just felt the need to take. But it wasn't enough. None of it was enough to fill the new void.

You made some new friends. Delinquents just like you. They too had a fond for stealing and grabbing whatever they could. Although you had become a more quiet person they enjoyed your presence and your experience in stealing. So they eventually invited you in on their more serious adventures.

It started small. Robbing people at ATMs, breaking into cars, even robbing houses when the owners were gone. You had no interest in stealing money but being out all the time gave you less time to think about him.

The group had grown over time what was once four of you became thirteen. With this new large group the self-appointed "leader", Jarvis, came up with a plan for an actual heist.

You would rob one of the banks in your town. You told him you had no care for money and that you weren't interested in this. Unlike the other members, he didn't have anything on you. Nothing to blackmail you with. So he used his other assets. As he continued to plan the heist he would spend time with just you alone. He could tell you were lonely, he didn't care why but knew he could use it to his advantage.

It had been so long since someone had touched you and you were quick to give in. It wasn't the same as when you were with Ettore. Jarvis finished too quickly and did too little to get you to your peak. You often had to fake it simply because you didn't want to hurt his feelings.

But one thing was different. Jarvis wasn't scared to take you into public. He was able to give you the soft love you wanted from Ettore. He wasn't awkward on dates and didn't hesitate to hold your hand or wrap his arms around you. He even kissed you often.

So how could you deny him when he came to you and asked you to take someone's place in the heist. He made promises that with the money the two of you would leave this shit country and go somewhere tropical.

You believed him and you should have. Jarvis was sincere though you'd always think looking back that he had lied to you, he didn't.

When the day of the heist came you were prepared. He had spent the last week teaching you how to shoot a gun and running over all the plans with you.

But when shit went south and the police managed to get in the building without any of you noticing Jarvis ran and didn't take you with him.

Out of the thirteen of you, four of you died of gunshot wounds, three of you escaped and six of you were arrested.

Some hostages had died and after the trial, it looked like you would end up spending the rest of your life behind bars.

Jail was cold and boring. Your fingers were still sticky and you often got in trouble for it. But you never stopped, occasionally stealing other inmates' commissaries.

You had built a bad rep for yourself and people were starting to get sick and tired of you. So you were also quick to take the offer to get off this planet.

You didn't care if it meant you would never come back. You had given so much to this planet and never got anything in return but heartbreak, pain and fucking depression. You'd much rather die staring at the beauty of space than the faces of women who want you dead.

Getting on that ship felt like confirmation of what you're doing. There was no turning back and even if you wanted to you didn't really have a choice. This was the only version of the death penalty they could give you so thats what you were getting.

You were sat in a chair as the man in front of you started strapping you in. Once he was done he moved on to the next person who was sitting next to you.

As you looked up in front of you your heart dropped to your damn toenails. Ettore sat in front of you with the same shocked expression. You watched as that expression went from something of a shock to happiness to anger then to lust.

You both sat there staring at each other as the rest of the inmates were brought on board and strapped in.

Your name was then called a couple of times but you were too focused on Ettore to even hear anything.

You felt a hand touch your thigh and turned your head to see who it was. Clearly whatever higher power there was wanted to torment the fuck out of you.

Jarvis sat next to you with a smile on his face. You looked back over to Ettore who now wore a look of pure rage.

"Shit..."

A/N: Heyy!!! Sorry this took me so long. I kind of had writers block and then I also had school assignments but im back now!!

There's only one more chapter of this series and im super excited!!

Gen Taglist : @thought--bubble, @valeskafics

"Fuck Love" Taglist: @scarletbedlam @fan-goddess @qyburnsghost @hi-eleonora

*Bold means I couldn't tag you. If you want to be tagged let me know in the comments.

#ewan mitchell verse #ewan nation #ewanverse #ewan mitchell #ewan mitchell fanfic #ettore x reader #ettore high life #ettore #ettore smut

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amethystfairy1 · 29 days ago

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(I keep sending asks so I dont remember if I've told you this alr or not if so feel free to just delete one of them lol)

Anyway just got back from a really long trip overseas and during that trip I downloaded a buncha chapters of your works to read in various Ubers, and because of the fact that my family has 5 people and most ubers only carry 4, my (ten-year-old) sister ended up on my lap in most cases. So she ended up reading a LOT of TTSBC and a biiit of TT. She wanted me to let you know her commentary on the things she read so here's that (chapters in the order she read them):

TTSBC:

Little birdie - "I think that that one was the most boring out of the ones I read, which is impressive cause it was really interesting. So I was like; 'its good... OMG WHAT IS HAPPENING' in a good way for the rest of the book.

Snickerdoodle - "I likey. Its one of those things that when you read it you feel like you wanna start doing push-ups but you cant read and do push-ups at the same time. It was also really cute." (take that as you will, no clue what it means lol)

Freezer-burned Fever - "That's a chapter?! It was so short... wouldn't putting ice on your back hurt your spine? Also arent their feathers really sensitive, why would he be okay with them being wet."

Hopeful Hero - "Makes me think of that one Christmas song, 'grandma got run over by a reindeer'. I loved the part where he couldn't do anything and Grian flew away and came back as an avian (still, he was already an avian but like now he was cool) and then everyone was like 'Avians arent that bad... or are they?' I liked that he let Grian push him because it showed that they were getting more comfortable with each other, it was cute, like Snickerdoodle. [holds up french fry Christmas squishmellow] also look, its like the chips they ate!"

- I see the danger, it's written there in your eyes: "Scar is very cool. Mumbo... he's there. Grian is Tom Stoltman cause he's flying all night. The storekeeper... let me think of a way to say this nicely... GET OUT!!!!! [all caps, five exclamation marks]. It made my heart sad and my tummy hurt, and then the happy part hurt more because Grian was sad."

"Also... she's in college? [yes] What's she in college for? [I don't know] How'd she find time for writing a book? Isn't college for ten years? Did she write in her free time? I thought there's no free time in college? Did she do it in class? She clearly put thought into it." Message from her:

Hello! What are you doing college for? Where did you go to school for to get writing this good? I like your books. Please write 50,000 more words about Grian and Scar. Actually, add three more zeros to that. Okay. Thank you!

Awhhh???

That's so cute????

I DO get your asks I'm just so behind in my askbox I'm sorry! 😭 I love all your asks, I swear I LOVE the super long asks, I just always take long to answer them because I wanna answer them properly and take my time and I always end up taking too longggggg...

I'm so glad both you and your little sister are enjoying my stories! Thank you so much! I loved all your little comment!

Ah, to answer those questions, I'm not going to school for writing! 😆 I just write for fun and I guess I've done it so much that I managed to get pretty good at it! I'm actually a masters student, so I already have my undergraduate degree! And I'm getting my degrees in history! I'm so glad you like my stories, thank you so much!!! I dunno about 50k more Desert Duo, but I mean, stranger things have happened!

As for when I write, I do it in my free time! Which I don't have a ton of, but I'm pretty quick at typing and writing is my favorite way to relax so I manage to get a lot of it done even when I don't have a ton of time for it! Thanks so much for your nice words!!!

#fanfic #ao3 fanfic #through the sky blue cracks #ttsbc au #ttsbc

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spidermans-l-o-v-e-r · 9 months ago

Text

Strawberries and Cream

Pairing: Eddie x Reader

Word count: 5.9k

Masterlist

Notes: *me peeing while figuring out what to name this chapter* *sees a bottle that says planets* Niceeeee. I need you to know, that while editing this, I am LITERALLY ON MY LAPTOP SETTING THE QUEUEUEUE button (I cant spell that) I added one sentence. and I promise you when you read this you're gonna know and just hear my evil laughter

Episode 4: Fast Cars and Faster Planets

“What do mean you guys had a steamy ass make out sesh and immediately said “oh we’re totally friends” Buck is practically pulling his hair out as Eddie tells him what happened after you guys left the party

“Because we are friends Buck,” He tells him like it’s the simplest thing in the world, but Buck is ready to slam his head into the wall

“Friends don’t have make-out sessions!!!” Buck yells at him. Eddie glares at him to lower his voice and Buck rolls his eyes

“Okay but didn’t we- “

“That was one time!” Buck stops him, putting his hands over his mouth

“And we agreed to never talk about that again! In a bro way, not a “we were embarrassed to do that” way”

Eddie pushes his hands away and sighs “So why is it any different?”

“Because. You are both. Clearly. Into each other.” Buck punctuates every sentence with a clap

“Okay so fine! I’m done talking about this! I told you what happened there. Done” Eddie throws his hands in the air and gets up from his seat, storming downstairs. Buck slides his hand down his face, rolling his eyes to the freakin heavens, and follows after him

“Eddie- fuck okay fine. I’m sorry. I’m being pushy” He says as he reaches out for him. He pats his shoulder and gives it a squeeze

“No… I’m just. Being sensitive I guess. You’re right Buck, I do really like her… I’m just not ready to tell her that and she doesn’t seem ready to tell me that either, but I think she knows how I feel. And there’s still the question of "If she even does like me back.”

Buck’s hand covers his mouth, he stops for a moment. He’s gotta be there for his friend he’s gotta be supportive and loving, his friend is feeling vulnerable.

“I love you Eddie, thank you for feeling like you can come to me. But that’s the dumbest fucking thing you’ve ever said to me and I desperately want to kick your ass”

Nailed it.

“What- what how! How-“ Eddie is spluttering and Buck just shakes his head, and walks away, giving him both fingers.

“What did you say to him?” Hen asks as she walks by, Eddie throws his hands in the air again

“I don’t know!! All I said was I didn’t know if Y/N liked me back”

“After you told me that you guys made out half naked in the front seat of the fucking car And had that weird “friends” moment!!!” Buck yells across the station and Hen's mouth drops open, as does Chimney’s … and Bobby’s and that one probie Eddie can never remember the name of

“You did what?!?!” Chimney yells down from the stairs and Buck slaps his hands over his mouth, giggling

“Oh my god Eddie I’m so sorry”

“Hold up-I’m so- what?!?” Hen's mouth is wide open

“Jesus fucking-“ Eddie runs his hands through his hair, glaring at Buck, who’s having a giggle fit as he jogs back over.

Chimney and Bobby both come over too and Eddie feels like he’s been caught by his parents sneaking his girlfriend into the house

“I’m literally going to end your life” He points at Buck

“I'm sorry I didn’t mean to blurt it out”

“Did you guys only make out?” Hen asks

“I’m pretty sure Eddie would tell us if they had sex” Chim defends him

“Did you use protection?” Bobby looks like he’s gonna have a heart attack. They’re all talking at once and Eddie looks like he’s about to strangle Buck

“Oh my god no! God they just made out that’s it! I'm totally over exaggerating” Buck tries to backpedal as best he can, Hen looks at him skeptically

“You were pretty clear with what you said, it didn’t seem all…Buckified”

“First of all, hurtful. Second of all. Come on! Let’s just you know, leave him alone!”

“You think she’s told Maddie by now?” Bobby asks Chimney

“I’m literally texting her right now,” He says, looking down at his phone

“Okay come on- really! No! Bobby?!” Eddie gestures wildly and Buck tries to snatch Chimney’s phone

“Guys we should respect Eddie! We don’t need to know his personal-“ he’s trying to rein this entire thing back in but there’s no corralling this circus. Bobby would know, he’s been trying for years and it's never worked.

“Oh my god, they were at the beach under the stars!!” Chimney coos and Hen shakes Eddie’s shoulders

“That’s our boy!”

“We’re so proud of you” Bobby pats his back and Eddie looks up, trying to figure out which rafter to hang himself and Buck from.

“Seriously I’m sorry about Buck and Maddie… maybe I shouldn’t have told them”

“Eh I gave em hell already” Eddie chuckles “Besides, you have a right to talk to your cousins… even if one of them is the biggest blabbermouth I’ve ever met in my entire life”

You giggle and shake your head “As long as you’re not mad…”

“Of course I’m not mad sweet girl. I’ll talk to you later, I’m gonna be driving” You can hear the smile in his voice

“Just put me on speaker, safety schmaftey” You joke and he snickers before biting his lip

“So, I’ll come pick you up later tonight okay? We’ll go to the drive-in and then go back to that diner”

“Sounds good to me,” You say, your voice sweet and sappy. Maddie fake gags and you throw a pillow at her

“Alright… sounds good..” he says, but he doesn’t hang up and neither do you. You listen to him get in the truck and you both laugh lightly

“You’re supposed to hang up you know” He teases, his cheeks blushing.

“Yeah and so are you” You giggle, Maddie groans loudly

“Oh god don’t you two dare do this. I will hang up on both of your asses for you”

You both laugh and Eddie shakes his head “Bye sweet girl, I’ll talk to you later”

“Bye Eddie” You roll your eyes at the nickname, your cheeks feeling like they’re on fire. He hangs up and you set your phone down on your stomach before covering your face with your hands, squealing and kicking.

“What did he say that’s got you like that?” Maddie asks, looking over at you as she eats her chocolate-covered popcorn

“He called me “sweet girl” twice” you squeal all over again, literally rolling off the couch. Maddie laughs at you and sits forward

“Oh god Y/N are you okay?” She’s giggling with you and you sit up, using the coffee table to get up off the floor

“We’re going to the drive-in! Oh god a drive-in that’s so freaking cool”

“And romantic” Maddie adds, a teasing look on her face

“Oh shut up it’s not that romantic… probably”

“It’s super romantic!” She says, “And we need to get you something cute to wear”

“It’s not a date Maddie!” Your cheeks flush but… you want to dress up nice for Eddie admittedly and it’s not like you’ve had a chance to in forever… it doesn’t even have to be something frilly or overly dressy. Just something that made you feel sexy when he looked at you

“Fine, we can go shopping” You sigh, giving in.

“Let’s visionboard this, maybe we can just shop for one or two pieces” She grabs her iPad and pulls up a blanket document, casting it to the TV and you roll your eyes, coming to sit on the couch with her. She starts a Pinterest board and invites you to it

“Okay, so drive-in vibes. I’m thinking something jean, maybe a leather jacket?”

You spend the next half hour with her, going through Pinterest and putting together a little collage of the outfit you’re looking for. You’re going to borrow her Doc Martens and get a new pair of jeans shorts. You’re both undecided on the top and after going back and forth for another 10 minutes she finally gets up from the couch and goes digging in her closet. She’s way too pregnant for this but there’s no way you can stop her. She pulls out an old KISS t-shirt. The sleeves are rolled and it’s oversized.

“This is perfect. We tuck it in? Buy you some fishnets? And maybe a thong”

She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively and you throw a pillow at her

“I’m not wearing a thong!”

You and Maddie are getting ready to leave when she gets called into work for a couple of hours. She begrudgingly leaves you at her place, promising to be home as soon as she can and you can help yourself to anything in the fridge

“I promise we’ll have time to go shopping! Even if we have to go with Buck! You’re gonna look cute”

“Where are we going?” Buck’s standing in the doorway, one shoe still hanging from his foot

“Eddie and Y/N are going to the drive-in and we’re getting her a new outfit” She kisses you both on your cheek and says her goodbyes.

“You and Eddie are finally going on a date?” He asks as he closes the door behind Maddie and comes into the house

“Oh my god for the last time, it’s not a date! Eddie asked me if I wanted to go see The Mummy at the drive-in and I said yes! And then we’re going to the diner”

“Oh my god. Oh. My. God. You are literally describing a date!“

“I’m describing a cool and laid-back hang-out with a friend!!”

“I swear to god if you and Eddie say you’re friends one more time I’m gonna lose my shit”

“We are!!”

“Oh, that is it!!”

Buck tackles you over onto the couch and starts throwing a flurry of tiny punches. You’re laughing hysterically as he tickles your sides and pretends to slap you silly. He shakes your shoulders and you squeal, trying to shove him off of you

“Alright alright!! Enough” you wheeze, falling over onto the floor. He slaps your butt one last time and throws a pillow at you

“Just date already!!!”

The call comes to Buck first, and he’s out the door before they even hang up. He pulls you out with him to the car and you rush to get in

“What’s going on??” You ask, your voice panicked

“Eddie called I can barely understand him, he sent me his location. Call Maddie for me?”

Your phone is already ringing “Maddie?? What’s happening?”

There was a seven-car pile-up on the highway apparently and Eddie called it in with what clarity he had before he hung up and called Buck for help.

“Bobby’s gonna have his ass for calling me” He laughs nervously, his hands shaking as he drives. He’s not being careful in the least.

“Buck that was-“ He speeds through the red light, he’s not even paying attention at this point. Just rambling now

“He knows he’s not supposed to call me! I’m off duty! He knows I would come get him, no matter what. I’ll always come get him I’ll always come save him. Like he does for me? You know-“

You put your hand on his shoulder and scoot closer to him “Hey, hey calm down. You’re not driving safe okay? And we can’t get to Eddie if you’re not being safe. It’s gonna be okay.”

Buck slows down marginally but stops running through red lights. His hands flex on the steering wheel nervously and you smile softly, rubbing his arm trying to soothe him.

The scene is… less than ideal, Buck gets you two past the checkpoints and you run up to the officers on the scene, they’re delegating and everyone who can be is being moved. But you hear that something is leaking and they’re not sure what. They know it’s leaking from the truck that got hit and skidded a couple hundred or so yards from the rest of the pileup but that’s about it…The man is responding on his radio when people begin frantically yelling and running away.

The explosion knocks you backward from the way it shakes the ground, the pile of cars shakes and groans and the fire is heading towards them fast. Efforts are tripled to get people out of the cars but it’s not enough.

“I have to help them, promise me you’ll stay right here, please. I’m begging you, tell me you’ll stay right here”

“I’ll stay,” you tell him reluctantly but quickly

“ I’ll stay here, you go help”

Buck kisses your head before he runs off and you’re just left there, standing next to a man barking orders into a radio and all you can do is watch.

Buck is helping people and you can see he’s struggling to not look for Eddie but Eddie would agree their lives come first. You’re helping people get settled on the sidelines now, helping them sit down and giving them bottles of water while they wait for the paramedics to come to check them out.

You’re giving a mother an extra bottle for her kid when you hear someone yelling fire, the cars are starting to catch fire. Adrenaline shoots through you as look towards the pile-up, Buck is bringing an older woman to the side when he looks at you. You’ve got the same look in your eyes that he gets, that Maddie gets.

Buck tries his best to hold you back, his arms firmly around your waist as he catches you before you can run.

“No! You can’t! You know you can’t you have to stop!”

“But he’s in there “ you sob, trying to fight your way out of his arms

“They’ll get him Y/N I promise. I’ll get him my damn self if I have to!”

You fall to the ground, and Buck collapses with you and holds you against him. He’s rocking the two of you. There’s no time for this but he knows you. And he knows how you feel about Eddie…

“It’s gonna be okay, it’s okay” he repeats to the both of you, he’s shaking just as hard as you are as you both watch the pile-up of cars not even knowing where Eddie’s is. Buck waits until you’ve calmed down a little and lets you go before he goes running back into the danger zone, things are moving faster but it’s just not enough.

“Fuck this!” You yell as you go running past the barricades, past the cops screaming at you to stop, the first car you come up to is empty, and so are the next three. Two people are working to get one woman out and another three working on helping a family out. You run around the pile and Buck is standing there dragging a man away

“Are you shitting- Y/N what are you doing?!” Buck yells at you, still dragging the man. You grab his feet and pick them up, it makes the work faster and you get him to the sidelines where the paramedics take him

“No absolutely fucking not, no. Do you know what “no” means?!?” Buck immediately starts yelling at you and you shove him back toward the crash

“No one is gonna get saved if you keep yelling at me! Yell at me later!”

“Oh I'm gonna kill you, I'm so gonna kill you. I’m gonna kill you so hard you’ll-“

“Buck?!”

Both you and Buck freeze, he stops yelling at you and you look toward the pile

“Eddie?!” You both yell in unison running towards a shiny blue truck. Eddie is upside down, his head bleeding, his arms cut up. You both go racing towards the truck, Buck laughs through his tears as he carefully opens the front door. The truck creeks and all of you stop moving

“She has to come in Buck, she’s the only one small enough” his voice is so tired, you can tell he’s fading fast “I gotta admit, not even sure why the hell she’s over here in the first place”

“Be careful” Buck warns you as you get down on your knees, Buck tosses you his coat from the back seat of the truck and you put it over the glass, crawling in.

“Because she’s a Buckley. We’re stubborn as hell”

You crawl into the space, it’s a tight fit but Buck wouldn’t have been able to at all. “Hey handsome, hang out here often?” You ask as you start to work on getting him out of the seat

Eddie chuckles lightly but groans “God don’t make me laugh, it hurts. It’s getting pretty hot… fire coming over here?”

“You bet it is,” Buck says, helping to maneuver Eddie. They shouldn’t be moving him, they don’t know the extent of his injuries but he could die either way

“You, you look so good. Is that what you were going to wear today?” Eddie asks you, his eyes closing slowly

“Hey, hey stay with me,” you say calmly, although the way your heart is pounding and your hands are shaking kind of gives way the panic “I was going to change, this is kind of just my lounging outfit”

“Goddamn if that’s your lounging outfit you need to sleep over more often” He chuckles breathlessly, his eyes closing. "God I love you"

You don't hear it.

“Eddie?? Eddie?!” You pat his cheek lightly and he doesn’t respond

“Buck?!” Your voice is high-pitched and panicky

“Keep it together Y/N we got this c’mon you need to focus”

You take a deep breath and still for a second, he’s right. There’s no time for panic in this situation. You wait for Buck’s count and cut the strap of the seatbelt, he catches Eddie and pulls him from the wreckage. He isn’t making a noise as you grab his feet and bring him away. A couple of paramedics run over getting him onto a spinal board. Buck forces you to go with him, promising he’ll be safe and that nothing is gonna happen to him. He shuts the doors to the ambulance and you’re off to the hospital.

“Mrs. Diaz?”

You’re stirred awake by the Doctor gently shaking your shoulder. His voice is deep and honeyed. He’s a good-looking man, a delicious-looking man. His name tag, Dr. Pascal, has a cute little green animal sticker on it.

You’d been directed to a waiting room while they assessed Eddie yesterday. The nurse wasn’t going to bring you back to the family room until you turned on the waterworks, sobbing about the condition of your “husband”

“H-he was on his way h-home for our first-anniversary dinner. He accidentally left his ring at home today too!” you cry into a small handful of tissues. She rubs your back, shushing you and helping you into a chair. She sits with you for a little bit, consoling you and honestly, you do feel a little bad but god this is an award-winning performance.

There’s a little commotion outside of the room before Buck appears

“Oh baby girl,” he says softly as you rush into his arms

“Her brother” he mumbles to the nurse, shaking her hand. He hugs you tightly, rubbing your back as he quiets your crying

“Hey, it’s gonna be okay kiddo. No matter what you’re here for him and that’s all that matters. Can we go back soon?” He looks to the nurse

“I’m not sure, I’ll have the doctor come get you when it’s okay. I hope everything turns out sweetie”

“Thank you” you sniffle into Buck’s shirt

The wife bit might be a bit much and you’re a bit shy to even tell Eddie… but it’s kinda cute to be Mrs. Diaz right now, it makes you feel all giddy and sappy inside.

Buck called Bobby, letting him know what happened so he’d spread the word. He sits on the couch with you, putting his feet up on the small coffee table in front of him.

“You doin' okay?” He asks quietly and you shrug

“Are you?… he’s your best friend” You lean into him, your head on his chest. He puts his arm around you and lays his cheek on top of your head

“I’m not worried. He’s the strongest, coolest, guy I know. Cool guys don’t die”

His voice cuts out a little at the end and you hug him tighter “He’s not gonna die Buck. He just needs some rest”

Your voice is soft and warm but firm and you feel him sag into your arms. You and Buck sit together for hours, there’s not much of a change. Eventually, Bobby comes in, using his status, and finds you two asleep. He ruffles Buck’s hair and smiles at you. Buck stirs a little and wakes up

“Hey Cap”

“Hey son”

“Anyone else here?” Buck scoots you both over and Bobby sits next to him, putting his arm over Buck’s shoulders

“Nah, told em to stay home, that I’d handle everything. Which by the way, I’ll handle everything”

Buck smiles a little and nods, he leans back into Bobby and closes his eyes again

“Thanks, Dad”

You greet the doctor with a small, nervous smile, little tears appearing in your eyes again.

“You can see him now, he’s still asleep but he should be waking up soon. His body just needs time”

He leads you back to Eddie’s room, his arm around your waist for support. You look like you’re about to pass out yourself and he’s worried. He helps you into a chair next to Eddie’s bed and squeezes your shoulder reassuringly, promising to come check on you two soon.

“I’ll go get your brother”

Eddie wakes up to the annoying beeping of the machines around him. He blinks softly, cringing at the bright lights above him. He goes to raise his hand over his eyes, but stops short, hissing in pain. The lights are lowered and he feels soft hands on his arm, easing it back into place.

“Careful…you dislocated your shoulder”

Buck is in the cafeteria getting you two something to eat when Eddie’s eyes flutter open.

You’re at his bedside, pulling the covers back up over his chest. He reaches out for you anyway, wincing and you take his hand in yours

“Quit moving so much” you scold him and he smirks, looking around the room

“How long was I out for?” You hold a cup up and put the straw in his mouth

“A day or so, but like all of yesterday, and during the night. It’s 2 in the afternoon. So not like a day-day but like a day you know what I mean?”

Oddly he does know what you mean.

“How did you get in here?” He asks as he gingerly tries to sit up, You help him, raising the bed and fluffing up his pillow behind him

“Uh… I may have said I was your wife”

Eddie looks at you, blinking before he laughs “No- really how did they let you in” he chuckles lightly

You waved your fingers with a little smirk on your face, a simple gold ring was on your finger, and Eddie had one too.

“I was already wearing the ring in general… and Buck brought one from home for you last night. I told them you just left yours on the nightstand that day. And trust me that was an award-winning sob performance okay”

Eddie puts his hand up to yours. Your hand is so much smaller than his… so much softer. You wrap your fingers around his and stand up, leaning over to kiss him gently.

“I’ve never been so scared” You whisper honestly, your heart beating out of your chest. Eddie tugs on your hip, pulling you closer to him and you smirk, raising an eyebrow. You go around the bed, to his good side, and crawl in with him. He puts his arm around you and pulls you into him, kissing your head.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you sweet girl” he whispers into your hair, nuzzling his head against you. He doesn’t remember too much of what happened, but he does remember you and Buck saving him, that’s about the only thing he can remember

“I like you, Eddie”

Athena was right, life was too short to keep that from him. He freezes in his tracks, he’s short-circuiting and his heart monitor gives away the way his heart rate picks up when you say that. You giggle into his chest and he groans

“I like you too Y/N, I should have told you sooner. Like you know, the minute I saw you”

You blush at his words, looking up at him.

“Friends until we’re ready to move things forward?” You ask softly, carding your fingers through his hair. Your palm rests on his cheek and he leans into your touch.

“Friends until I heal up and can take you on a proper date”

It’s funny how things work out. You and Buck help Eddie into his bedroom, and then Buck helps bring your bags in from the jeep and into the spare room. You’re not moving in officially, just long enough to nurse Eddie back to health. Which Buck insisted on. The doctor said he’d be up and running again in a week or two but Buck couldn’t stand the idea of Eddie being home alone and, to be honest, neither could you.

“Please let me remind you both, that I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself”

He sits up a bit awkwardly, wincing, and Buck helps him. Grumbling as he fluffs up Eddie’s pillow

“You need help for at least three days minimum and with Y/N not having anything to do she’s the perfect nurse”

“You guys are acting like I’m a child this is ridiculous” Eddie crosses one arm over his chest, pouting especially because he can’t cross both

“You know if it makes you feel better, Buck bought you a surprise,” you say as you smooth out the covers on the end of the bed

“What kind of surprise?” Eddie perks up a little and Buck claps his hands, rubbing them together

“Oh ho ho just you wait and see. I’ll be right back!” Buck runs out of the room and you roll your eyes

“I don’t even know where the hell he got it”

“What is it?”

“Oh, I’m not telling you. And there’s no way in hell either of you is making me do it”

“Do what?” Before Eddie can even begin to guess, Buck comes running back in, he jumps on the bed, jostling Eddie and nearly knocking you off

“Tadaaaa!!!” He throws a clear costume bag in Eddie’s lap, it’s a nurse's costume complete with a cute little hat. Eddie bursts out laughing, holding onto his chest until he’s wheezing and crying. Both he and Buck are in a heap and your arms are crossed tightly over your chest as you turn away from them and slide off the bed

“It’s not funny!” You yell at them and they keep giggling their heads off, wiping at their eyes

“Oh come on, please? Please, please, please just once” Eddie has his hands clasped now, giving you the biggest, sweetest puppy dog eyes, and your mouth drops. Buck copies him and they put their heads together like they’re little angels and not the absolute assholes they’re being

“Why are you trying to get me into it?!” You point a finger at Buck and he gestures wildly

“Because that’s comedy gold!! And you know it’s just fun”

“How about you put it on!”

“Bet. Bet” Buck snatches it from the bed and gets off “If I do it, you do it”

“Deal”

“Wait no deal!” Eddie says “He’ll stretch it out! Go buy another one”

“Oh my god you’re right” Buck tosses it at you and grabs his keys from the bedside table

“I’ll be back!!”

You climb back onto the bed as Buck leaves, crawling over and fluffing up Eddie’s pillow again

“You guys are idiots”

“Yeah, but we’re your idiots. Maybe we can get me one and we can be a group for Halloween

You giggle and lay next to him on the bed, putting your head on the other pillow. He looks at you, a soft smile on his face.

“Hi”

“You really gonna put that thing on?” He nods at it and you blush

“Yeah. Because we both know Buck will, and I’m a woman of my word”

Eddie looks at you, a mischievous little smirk on his face

“You know…. I wouldn’t mind a little pre-show”

You give him a look “A pre-show huh?”

“I’m sure it would cheer me up… you know since I’m so hurt and all” he gives you those big ole puppy dog eyes again and you let your head fall back laughing

“You’re such a little shit”

You grab the bag from the bed and hop down

“Give me a minute”

Eddie isn’t sure what he expected, but he wasn’t prepared for when you walk back into his room. He can hear the sultry click of your heels as you walk slowly down the hallway… he shifts nervously, looking at the door.

“Surprise” you hold your arms up, waving your fingers “What do you think, I thought the heels sold it” You giggle as you do a little spin for him. “Buck is gonna look great in this, and I'm already hating”

Have you ever seen that scene in SpongeBob? Where little SpongeBob's are running around his brain trying to figure out his name and everything is on fire?

Eddie’s mouth drops wide open. He’s not sure where to look first, he’s not even sure if he should be looking. You walk over to him, placing your finger under his chin and closing his mouth

“Dropped somethin’ gorgeous” You purr and he slaps a pillow over his lap

“Go change. Go change right now”

“Yeah no I’m pretty comfortable like this actually” You hop up on the bed, crossing one leg over the other. You prop yourself up with your hands and let your head fall back. Eddie is speechless and mindless and he’s sure all the blood in his body has gone to one place in particular at this point

“You need anything, sir? Water maybe? A sponge bath” you whisper breathlessly, biting the tip of your finger.

His face flushes even deeper and you fall onto your back cackling

“Oh my god, Eddie you should see your face!”

Eddie watches you laughing at him, his eyes narrow as yours water. You sit up, still giggling and trying to hold yourself together

“I’m so-sorry” you snicker. Crawling up to him, you sit on your legs and lean forward a bit

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t be laughing so much at your reaction that’s not very-“ You don’t even get to finish your apology

Because you’re within reach now.

His arm shoots out and he pulls you in by the back of your head, you stumble forward and land against his chest, your hands in front of you. He pushes your lips together, greedily kissing you like he’s missed your sweet taste. When he’s sure you’ll stay there, his hand trails down your side before tossing the pillow aside and tugging you into his lap properly.

“Eddie wait you have to-“

“Did I say stop kissing me?” His voice is deep and a bit growly when he speaks, he’s glaring at you and you melt right into his lap like a dreamy little puddle.

Your lips frantically find his again and he moans in approval, your tongue lapping at his, before twisting in a lock for dominance. You feel his hand slide down over your ass and play with the fabric of the dress a bit like he’s tempted to pull it up.

And he is tempted to pool it around your waist and see just what other surprises you’re hiding.

He adjusts his hips a bit and rubs against you. He can feel that little wet patch beginning to form on the front of your panties. You moan softly and it’s like music to his ears, that’s one of the most beautiful sounds he’s ever heard fall from your lips. He ruts his hips against yours again and you whimper this time, holding onto his good shoulder. Your hips automatically come back down on his, grinding down a bit. He grins wickedly, trailing kisses across your cheek

“Tell me what you taste like” He whispers in your ear, nibbling it a little “Have you ever tasted yourself, angel?” He walks two fingers down your hip and around to the front of your dress

“Will you let me-“

“Oh my god, you guys, I can’t believe they actually had one in my-“

Buck comes into the bedroom, takes one look at the two of you, and screams at the top of his lungs

“Oh- oh my- oh- god oh-“ He gags. “Are you???? Did I??? Wait are you?! Oh my god are-!?!”

He can’t tell if he should be happy, or bleach out his eyeballs.

You scramble off of Eddie’s lap and slap the pillow over his hard-on. He yelps and you squeak

“Shit. Sorry. Buck no-no-no!!! It’s not what it looks like!!” You get off the bed and his mouth drops even more as you straighten out your dress

“Are those heels!?!”

“I thought it would be funny!! I thought they worked with the costume!!”

“I mean yeah they do but I’m never gonna find any in my size that goes with this”

“Okay fine I’ll take them off so it’s fair”

“Okay… anyway…” He screams again and falls to his knees, covering his face “Mama noooooooo”

You groan and fall backwards on the bed and Eddie just laughs at Buck’s theatrics

“We didn’t do anything!!” You yell over his crying and he struggles to pull himself up off the floor using the bed

“You slept with my best friend!” He points at you and your mouth drops open

“I did not!! We made out! That’s it”

“Well stop making out!”

“Do you want that?” Eddie asks, looking at him

“Oh my god of course not. I want my cousin and my best friend to get married so we can be related. Stop making out with him!!” He throws a pillow at you and it knocks you backwards

“I don’t know how to feel. Do I want you guys to finally fuck and get together? Uh yes?!. But will I also end my life if I ever see that? Also yes!!!”

“Can you just go change, you freaking cockblock” Eddie hisses at him and Buck gives him a skeptical look

“Yeah. Because you two would have had sex anyway. Sure.”

You roll over back next to Eddie and lay your head on his chest.

“He’s the worst”

“No, actually he is”

“I can still hear you guys!!”

Buck takes his time changing, you can hear him bouncing as he fights his ass into the tights

“Do you want help?” You giggle, Eddie is rubbing soft circles on your back, truly enjoying the way you’re lying with him in that skimpy little outfit.

“Oh my god” Eddie looks up when Buck walks in and does a little spin, matching your exact stance from earlier

“Oh my god” you repeat, your jaw dropping.

“He looks better than you do”

“He looks better than I do”

#rhys writes #words by rhys #eddie diaz #eddie diaz x reader #911 x reader #911 abc #9 1 1 fanfiction #911 fox #911 show #evan buck buckely #howie han #chimney han #hen wilson #henrietta wilson #bobby nash #I cannot believe I forgot this tag #Strawberries and Cream

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yeondollie · 1 year ago

Text

ʙᴀᴍ ʏᴀɴɢ ɢᴀɴɢ ౨ৎ ♡ .ᐟ

'i closed the chapter on the days we spent together.'

. . warnings ; ANGST .ᐟ, breaking up, argument, fem reader, taehyun is kinda mean, crying, heartbreak, reader is needy, taehyun gets annoyed of reader, just over all sad ecfhuehfusih !!

a/n ; i have been listening in bam yang gang on repeat its so so so good but so sad :(. the beat is so adorable and so is bibi i love her sm sm but the song is so sad and as soon as i heard it i thought about making a story with it . this is just a drabble so i dont have a word count sorry :< anyways, enjoy !! ₊˚⊹ ᰔ

"why do you want so much out of me? can i have some peace and quiet to myself? god.." here we were again. arguing with taehyun was getting more and more common, though you hated it. taehyun knew you were a sensitive person and didn't like conflict but you were just pissing him off lately.

you didn't know what to say really. though you were only trying to check up on him after work, he wasn't having it. "it's like you're attached to my hip, truly." you suck in the tears in your eyes as he says this. you didn't wanna fight, you just wanted to please him in any way you could.

"yes i-i.. i'll give you time. i’m sorry." you say, tearing still welling in your eyes. this, for some reason, set taehyun off completely. why couldn’t you stand up for yourself? it was pathetic in his eyes. “see! thats why im upset. you’re like a doormat- you get walked all over, it’s pathetic.” he scoffs, letting out a small laugh even.

holding the tears back, about to flow, you mutter out some words. “you’re r-right, i’m s-sorry.” you sniffle a bit, looking up at the ceiling to avoid the tears falling out of your eyes. you’ve never felt more pathetic in your life, it was such a horrible feeling. taehyun didn’t seem phased at all, walking up and getting in your face.

“so thats it? sorry? you think thats gonna fix everything?” he says, his face only inches from yours. it was weird, usually when he was this close he would be kissing you or looking at you longingly but no. not this time, not anymore. the only time he looked at you was with lust or anger behind his eyes.

it felt like the two of you would only have sex or only argue, it was tiring- so tiring. he used to hold your cold hand in his own warm hand. he used to kiss your forehead and play with your hair, what happened? the tears flickered down your cheek as you answered him. “t-tyun i.. i don’t know what else to d-do.” now quickly wiping your own tears.

when he realizes you’re crying, he doesn’t bat an eye. its like all his love for you was drained from his heart- you hated it so much. “you know what _____? we’re done. i cant fucking do this with you anymore. you’re just so.. so needy and dumb!” he raises his voice, now watching you flinch in front of him.

you didn’t even have the energy to stop him, watching him with blurry eyes. watching how much he changed over the span of you two dating was shocking and saddening to you. oh how you longed for the sweet taehyun you once had.

before he could exit your house, forever saying bye to him you did one last thing. “taehyun..?” you whisper, not even having the energy to talk loudly. “what?” he whips back at you. you grab his school name tag he gave you, when he first confessed his feelings for you when the two of you were still in high school.

grabbing his name tag, along with your own- you walked up to him gently. you placed your name tag in his hand, looking into his angry eyes. “so you can remember me, you promised me you’d never forget me right?”

his eyes flickered with sympathy one final last time.

#txt fanfic #txt x reader #txt scenarios #txt #yeondolliesworks #tomorrow x together #tubatu #txt angst #beomgyu #kang taehyun #txt taehyun #taehyun x reader #taehyun angst #soobin #huening kai #yeonjun

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yanderesimp2000 · 11 months ago

Text

extreme yan Adam x fem reader chap 5/6 "look at you now completely helpless" MWBB 18+

CHAP 1

https://www.tumblr.com/yanderesimp2000/745338401920860160/extreme-yandere-adam-x-fem-reader-chap-15-start?source=share

CHAP 2

https://www.tumblr.com/yanderesimp2000/745426251094818816/extreme-yandere-adam-x-fem-listener-chap-25?source=share

CHAP 3

https://www.tumblr.com/yanderesimp2000/745572611124232192/yan-adam-x-fem-reader-chap-35-someone-else-dares?source=share

CHAP 4

https://www.tumblr.com/yanderesimp2000/745703396615520256/yandere-adam-x-fem-reader-chapter-46-this-is?source=share

My personal fav comic PLEASE READ IT, IT FLOPPED

https://www.tumblr.com/yanderesimp2000/745889674747396097/asmodeus-x-any-gender-reader?source=share

Reblogging is allowed,Please like and follow if you enjoyed and if you hated it be brutality honest don't fucking hold back

TWS,Brainwashed listener,Cruellty, Adam being the normal incel he is, threats, smut,reader has clipped wings, You having to wash Adams crusty wings , playfully Adam, Wrestling in Adams HUGE ASS BATHTUB,Sex,kinda teabagging

you woke up today in bed with Adam he was snoring his smooth tan skin pressing against your face his ruffled hair covering your eyes you didn't remember much about the last day all you remembered was you were very bad and you got punished but you don't know how then you suddenly start to here Adam stirring a little this lasted for 2 minutes before he opened his eyes looking at you and said "oh hey bitch how are ya" you weren't taken aback because this is just how your supposed to be treated right "good Adam how did you sleep" you replied adam scoffed annoyed and said "it was fucking fine okay" you were a little sad but didn't want to make him feel bad so you just took it

adam groaned again before saying "yea now make me breakfast I'm fucking starving he then seemed to remember something Oh yeah you need to wash my wings their so dirty and the need a whole bath" you were happy getting that info because you were being useful thus making him love you more then you hear him shout "babe, Make me some pancakes and they better be with bacon or your gonna be in a world of hurt" it sounded like he was joking but at this point you don't know what's a joke or teasing and what's a threat

you finish up breakfast and call him in from the living room "breakfast is ready babe" you call Adam sighed and said "just bring it to the couch we can eat their okay" you agreed knowing you couldn't say no to him he's done so much for you how could you say now You walk over with your guy's plate and you plob down next to him

you two didn't really talk much while you were eating he did do something though he was rubbing his fingers between your wings but they felt weird for some reason you think you were probably going insane but they felt strange You ruffled and derufffled them quickly and thought you were just insane When adam noticed this he said "oh sorry babes didnt tell you about what happened last night" he said In a sickeningly sweet tone "you tried to run away into the big dangerous world theirs fucking sickos that would to terrible things to you so i just..... Altered your wing structure so you cant run off anymore" something in you tried to say "no no no this isnt right" but it was quickly drowned out by "your crazy he's just trying to keep you safe why would you fight him he knows what's best obviously" and all that came down to you saying a simple "Ok" in a submissive purr you said it like it didn't even matter heaven is built for flying and now your practically immobile

Adam looked at you in a caring sweet tone You liked it when his mask was off he looked a little scary with his mask on but you would never admit it he kept gently rubbing your wings before they were clipped your wings were 105 cm before but now they were small and puny he didn't want to slice your wings of entirely because he found your wings cute now they were a measly 60 CM so their now to small to be able to pick you up off the ground. You rested against Adams shoulder as he snaps his finger and the plate disappears he turns on the TV to watch of those strange fantasy shows his arms wrap around you as you two watch making you feel safe

(DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO RIGHT AFTER THAT SO 2 HOURS TIME SKIP)

The TV clicked off and Adam said "damn that episode was good did you see that Fea totally stuck it to those orc good shit man, Oh wait yeah my wings are fucking filthy you really gotten clean them" you internally groan because cleaning wings was hard and since he couldn't reach his wings you were in charge of cleaning them

He picked you up with one hand and walked over to the bathroom the way he picked you up felt weird because his hand was right around you waist. Once you got into the bathroom he undressed and turned on the water his back turned to your so you could wash his wings.by the way Adams bathtub is huge its like the size of a mini pool. You looked at them for a little looking at where to start You bragged about keeping good condition to your wings but Adams were horrible there were clumps strung up together lots of wing dandruff, and crumbs in-between his wings "well what are you waiting for bitch you gonna clean it or just look" he mocked making you feel guilty so you quickly got a bucket of water and poured water on his wings. some thing was so cruel about it you were cleaning his healthy and fine wings while you had clipped wings some cruel fucking irony

Adams wings twitched and slapped you in the face he burst out laughing and said "fuck I'm so sorry they do that sometimes" you knew he was lying but you were okay with that he was just having a lil fun right? You then got the soap and started to scrub it against his wings rubbing your hands in-between his feathers and getting all the dirt and crumbs off Adam giggled and said. "why don't you join me in here" you didn't get a chance to respond before he grabbed you and shoved you into the water with him the Bathe was huge so their was plenty of room for you to squirm and struggle too. the water created a barrier to stop you from making any fast movements. Adam chuckled and said "your cute like this all pinned down and helpless Y'know" he was teasing you and you were a little embarrassed but didn't say anything. He then turned around and said "there there get back to work on my wings then it will be over he said as you tuned off the water so it wouldn't over flow

You finished getting his wings cleaned and they had a nice glossy tint other then the crumbs inside before the wings are pretty healthy nice strong feathers and good size you then start to leave the bath but Adam pulls you back in "where ya going were gonna have a party" He said in a flirtatious voice he was already naked you could see his hard cock as he towered over you he then did something strange he started to wrestle you you realized he was playing and fought back as hard as you could but he pinned you down "hi" he said in a cheesy voice before you managed to catch him of guard and wriggle out he then says "impressive but not good enough" and he wrestles you back onto him the water was spilling from all the movements but he didn't care he just kept aggressively snuggling with you

he then pulled you out of the water and into the sauna with him where he said "yeah were really gonna have a party now" before pinning you down and putting his swollen nut sack on your face he giggled and said "y'know how people say to suck my balls now you really are" this teasing voice only made you more and more wet he got you he then moved up and but it in your mouth and you started to suckled on them they started to swell up even more which you didn't think was even possible and you were more and more aroused. the hairy sac took up you whole mouth and tasted salty but good. You then got your other hand and started to jerk him "ughh babe fuck... "Adam moaned before a bead of precum appeared on his cock. He was closer and closer to cumming he was also putting his fingers in your pussy making you feel better and better until you both reached climax at around the same time

"UGH that was great" he moaned before cleaning his crotch up "we should do that more often he giggled before slapping your ass and saying "clean yourself up bitch" before leaving the room

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x you #yandere #hazbin adam x reader #helluva boss #adam x you #hazbin hotel adam x reader #adam x reader #yandere adam #yandere male #dark romance #male yandere #adam hazbin hotel #Adam #hazbin hotel adam #romantic #writing

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starsofang · 4 months ago

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Dear Angie I think I have scared a lot of people today because of the shriek I made when I saw the update and all the other ones I made through reading the chapter while I was standing in line with my friend so she could have a book signed by an author, some people lokked at me with funny faces and my friend now has a bruised in her arm because I gripped it so hard to shake her.

But we'll to the important part the chapter, first, I fucking hate Graves your description made me freaking gag I hope he dies a horrible death the one that Price said seems fitting.

Now, I can not talk about this chapter without going through it chronologically because so much happened in it. “Dove, it’s okay. Just listen to my voice, alright? I’m right here.” Gaz, being the first one to talk to her, makes so much sense because to me, he seems the most love struck by her. “The telescope,” Ghost said, voice low. “He’s talkin’ about the telescope.” How did Ghost know? Does he know what the poem means? Has he told Price or not? Or maybe Graved talked to him in his head earlier? I hope it's the last one. “Don’t fuckin’ talk to him,” Soap hissed, scowling. You say it to him, Johnny, defend your boyfriend. You instantly shifted your eyes to look at Gaz, ... You knew why he was having a hard time—you gifted the telescope to him, ... It was something he treasured, something he didn’t want to let go of. My poor Gaz, I can't, I'm going to steal it from Graves just to give it back to you, my baby boy. “Attagirl,” he praised, calming your nerves. Price you call me that again and I'm going fucking feral I'm a sucker for that pet name. “It’s my fault she’s marked. So long as she gets fixed up, I could care less about bein’ thrown into a cell. I’m with Price,” he finished. GOD, I'M A SUCKER FOR THESE INTERACTIONS, MY FAVOURITE EMOTIONAL CONSTIPATED BABY IS TRYING HIS BEST GIVE HIM A GOLDEN STAR.

Now now now now the Price kiss is just the best, I cant stand it, all that dialoge, how you described the kiss (I supposed that it was her first so I missed that it wasn't awkward but it was amazing best). “I am not an emotional man,” he murmured quietly, seeming just as unsure as you were. “I make very stupid decisions and take paths I shouldn’t take. One of them is tellin’ me to kiss you, and I’m not sure if that’s alright.” Well, man, let your intrusive thoughts win already. KISS HER PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU. “Gaz tried to when I gifted him the telescope,” yeah... try... I don't know who fault that was right, Angie. “I hope that is okay.” Darling it is, they are all fucking each other. Price broke out into a smile, huffing out a breathy laugh. “So long as he did not beat me to it.” Angie, I know you remark this so many times, so we remember what we could have had, but that you take it away, and I don't know how to feel.

I hope that Gaz and Soap are the first thing that Y/N sees when they wake up. I need some time with them because he haven't had time with the reader.

Now, this fun fact is accompanied by an image of how I imagine Price's quarters. So the fun fact is that the beds in any ship are built in the walls so they don't move because imagine being in a ship with a normal bed, it would end in the other end of the room, so that way is less dangerous. And from the medieval era to the early 20th Century the closet bed (witch is just a bed built in a closet) was surprisingly popular across Europe. I suspect that the fact that the beds in the ships are built like that comes from the closet bed, but I haven't really looked into it or researched it.

This is what a bed in a ship used to look like.

They were normally individual, even the captain's one. But because Price is fucking massive (like the other three) and for future parts of the story 👀 I changed it for a double bed with a more intricate wood work (I headcanon that his ship is his pride and that even if it is small it is really beautiful and gorgeous). So this is the one that I imagine.

And for the layout of his quarters, I imagine it like this.

The bed would be at the right of the desk, and the rest for me is perfect for him. At this point, I'm just going to make a Pinterest board with all my references photos because they are a lot.

To finish, thank you for the early chapter. You feed us extremely well, and we appreciate it, love you so much 🩵💖🩵

PLSSS DON’T TRAUMATIZE YOUR FRIENDS (that’s so me tho, i do exactly that when a fic i love is updated LMFOAOS)

i said this in another ask, but i had to make graves a nasty freak because unfortunately, his game character is one i like even if he’s a bad guy 😫 had to do it for my sanity

gaz is 100% the most lovestruck and much more open about it, he’s a very gentle lover imo. all of them (ghost is a progress) have a very special feeling thing going on, it’s all different but in their own lil ways.

my thought process with ghost knowing about the telescope is that he knows the prophecy like the back of his hand, given that it’s detrimental to him. the verse in the prophecy about a looking glass for ocean eyes is 100% what he first thought of graves wanting, and the telescope is pretty important in the prophecy. it was more of a ‘he immediately knows’ kinda moment since he has the prophecy engraved in his head.

“they’re all fucking each other” goodbyeeee that line had me on the floor

y’all were mad about the almost gaz kiss but price got it instead 😜 a win in my books

the BED!!! hello, i absolutely can envision his bed/quarters looking like. i 100% agree with you on the fact he takes pride in his ship, because that’s ALL he has, that’s his entire life, and hello they’re pirates obviously there’s thievery going on for them to have the funds to do it. UGH those pictures are so pretty, i’m absolutely going to imagine that now every time i write about it. if u make a pinterest board i HAVE to see it.

MWAH I LOVE YOU, THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOVE AS ALWAYS POOKIE

#call of the sea #angie’s asks #angie talks <3

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stevie-petey · 6 months ago

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Hey m! I know you're writing a bonus chapter right now (which I'm so excited for!!!) but I had a blurb idea of you're still doing em. When the Byers move and after all the goodbyes are said. Jonathan's pov driving away from bug and all these emotions and memories coming back. Maybe a little insight on some of the conflicted feelings about bug because we know there's a little something brewing there. Or maybe not and I'm just delusional and in love with Jonathan who knows.

anon i am also in love with jonathan and ur not at all delusional <333 everything is intentional !!

enjoy !

"'come again soon'," will reads aloud the hawkins sign, the goodbye it bids to its visitors. except will had never been a visitor, he had grown up in this town his entire life. will shakes his head, he cant believe theyre really leaving. "think we ever will come back here?"

jonathan eyes dont leave the road. he refuses to look at the sign they pass. he doesnt look back in his mirror to watch it fade into the distance. he has to look forward. look ahead. not back.

"sure, yeah." he responds to his brother. like will, jonathan also cant believe theyre really leaving. this is where they grew up, and the horrors they faced cant erase that. "i mean, hawkins is our home, ya know?"

home. jonathan knows that the word is your favorite within the english language. for a long time, he didnt understand how it could be. it was just a house. just four walls and a roof.

then, one day, jonathan understood.

will nods, he doesnt say anything else. instead, he turns to watch the landscape fly past his window. the radio in the car has one of jonathans tapes playing softly. neither boy speaks. the memories each of them posses settle in the car. they get lost in their own thoughts.

jonathan thinks about nancy. their kiss goodbye still lingers on his lips. with every mile he drives, he can feel the distance between them grow and the tension within his chest tighten. jonathan loves her with such a ferocity that terrifies him. hes weak for nancy. she guides him, steadies him, and he doesnt know what hes going to do without her.

no one has ever understood how nancy and jonathan fell for one another. not even you, despite how well you know them both.

if hes being honest, jonathan doesnt quite understand how it happened, either. all he knows is that one day nancy walked into his life and everything sharpened. his senses were heightened.

loving nancy wheeler was like walking into a thunder storm knowing the lightning will kiss your skin instead of singeing it.

to love nancy wheeler was to be invincible. she makes jonathan braver, more cunning, she pushes him to be better. to be bolder. she would never let him drown in his own silence.

but this love is also rough, it is hard with edges that sometimes puncture jonathans skin. everything to nancy is a challenge. its how she views the world; its how she views everything around her.

suddenly the tape pauses, changes to the next song, and the soft beginning notes of these days by the cure plays.

jonathan smiles.

he discovered the song when he had been laying on his bedroom floor with you next to him. his dad had left behind old tapes. you showed up on the byers doorstep as you always did, and that day had been one of jonathans quiet days. they happened sometimes, following the divorce.

you never asked why, or for jonathan to speak when he didnt want to. never had you ever pushed him. instead you laid next to jonathan on the floor and listened to music together. your hair tickled his face, your hand skimmed his, and jonathan breathed in the scent of his best friend.

the song floated through the room. you seemed to like it, jonathan remembers you closing your eyes and humming along to it. from the very beginning of your relationship, jonathan knew that music was something you didnt want to talk about. it was something that was only yours, and he never pushed you. the acceptance went both ways.

as you were humming, jonathan turned his head to face you. his breath had caught in his chest, he felt as if he had been knocked down. the afternoon suns rays painted your face, illuminating you. the yellow gold of the light made you look like a marble statue jonathan had learned about in class last year. angelic, soft, a work of art.

jonathan knew he loved you the day you called his name on weathertop hill. the dandelions had framed your face, caught in your hair, and the yellow ones danced around your ankles. your smile had been the same as it is now, a year later and still just as delicate.

loving you was soft, easy. for jonathan, loving you was something he didnt know how to not do. sometimes it felt like he was born to love you, to understand the complexities behind your eyes and the hurt you masked. just as you do for him.

it strikes jonathan then, how differently he loves you and nancy.

for you, love is safe, warm, familiar.

for nancy, love is complex, gritty, all encompassing.

and now jonathan will be thousands of miles apart from the two of you.

nancy has always loved a challenge. youve always loved familiarity.

jonathan wonders how this will end.

#ask #anon #m speaks #come home blurb #m's writing #set in season 3 !#does this make sense ????#in my head it does #age old question of should love soothe wounds or messily stitch them up #neither option is wrong #one simply hurts more but heals faster #the other is a remedy that isnt guaranteed to work #ya know ?

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esorxy · 1 year ago

Text

remembering all the insanely long marauders fics ive brainrotted over because i kinda forgot all of them. roughly in the order i read them.

Whatever happened to the young, young lovers?

355k, jegulus wolfstar rosekiller. post war (ended by regulus) where they just hang around grimmauld place all day. i literally cant remember anything that happened. but i liked how they stayed home and didnt go outside, because i relate to that. it was alternating chapters between post war and pre war, honestly i dont even know it was just so much relationship angst and regulus being incredibly competent and hurt.

All The Young Dudes

526k, the character development and buildup, its like the level of the actual series without the annual voldemort attack. i was DESTROYED by the ending, it lived in my brain rent free for like a week. why did it have to be canon compliant???! the way they spent so much time pining, so much time apart, and so little time together. but that theyre literal soulmates, which is so sad for grant (he suffered true emotional damage) lmfao. I guess this is the basis (canon??) of marauders era

we can be heroes, for ever and ever

102k alternate happy ending to atyd - yes PLEASE this is what i needed to heal the pain after reading atyd.

choices

624k. lowkey feel the same way towards this as atyd, except it didnt live in my brain rent free for a week. in that i respect that it's good and got heartbroken when everyone died and they didn't get their happy ending, but it did get me into jegulus so I'm not complaining. IDK it's just sad, but i love regulus and evan and cerci. even though i deadass can't remember anything else.

crimson rivers

865k actually SOBBING this fic is everything. so much plot and so much hurt, it is amazing and painful and intense. it has the most picturesque scenes, beautiful happy ending. but i did kinda get sick of it near the end cos its so fuckin long, and i was not into the girls in the fic so i was kinda cbs

holding onto the self

76k and it was so good i felt so sad for sirius. this is the type of fic which makes me jaw drop and suck in breath like poor baby honestly. no summary needed cos ill never forget what its about lmfao....

just lovers

321k fake dating au. this is GREAT. its so light hearted which is a great change from the akckdjebakzj. this is the climb to the top for regulus being my favourite character. lowkey can't remember shit but i liked it and i need more fics like it because it was creative and there's not much room for that in marauders verse

only the brave

645k and The fic of my dreams. this is everything and i loved every second of it. every character is so great, and it got me into pandalily!!! perfect amount of hurt (a lot), and such good plot. it has every ship i like, i was like drowning in a hot spring of happiness while reading this

ecliptic

147k, oh it's so creative and new. it was so suspenseful cos we got 0 answers, and the fic is deadass incomplete wtf!! i love how everyone is sad but mostly rational. the jegulus was really really nice, and i liked how the cruciatus was made out to be a big deal so the hurt/comfort is better. i feel like the plot is better than the delivery

wolfstar my one true pair, jegulus my second true pair, evan®ulus has a special place in my heart, marauders fanfiction a permanent space in my mind for at least the next few weeks

new edit: shit! i forgot to update and i read so many more long fics and can barely remember them now

mastermind

311k i cant even remember anything that happened ... except i liked the dynamic between narcissa and regulus, and narcissa is so damn pretty. this was the one where regulus made james and sirius go with him to the cave, and then james had to force him to drink the potion, so much angst arghhhh.

all along there was some invisible string (tying you to me)

103k spiderman AU + high school and all i can say that its an original setting... the pining was great, and the spiderman kiss!! but other than that like it was good, i guess

I adored you madly, extravagantly, absurdly

243k Victorian AU with arranged marriage trans regulus. I loved regulus' character, he was so spiteful and petty but also down bad, and jegulus matched so perfectly together. i want his life so bad because his literal job was being married, like deadass he didnt do shit all day except read, play with his cats and pine for his husband...

a violent kind of spin

212k not going to lie, my favourite/most striking parts of this fic were the $h scenes... and i just finished it last night so I dont even have an excuse. james asking sirius to turn around and not even waiting for him to do it??? oml hes unhinged and it was so well written. the bathtub scene when he was on a timer and then just walked out like everything was fine!!! help it was so angsty im in love. i feel like i speedran this fic and didnt read it properly, which is probably accurate

Im not gonna teach him how to dance with you

122k. rosekiller is the BEST. i love the whole plot tbh and it was so well paced. love that for evan because nobody else is gonna keep by with barty's crazy. i would have liked it more if it had crack undertones but yknow whatever, cant have everything. i thoroughly enjoyed all the romantic tension in the leadup, the way they were both so in love im gone.

All the young dudes - Sirius' Perspective

628k, let me tell you, canon has no right being that sad, and the beloved author just fed off that like a parasite. i should have expected how this fanfic would destroy me, but the delivery made it so much more painful. i sobbed reading the Halloween and Azkaban chapters. and sirius,,, like why did you have to be so angry all the time. and so obsessed with remus from day 1. it was great. although like halfway through i just felt like ... wolfstar is so basic. jegulus once jegulus forever i guess.

whatever our souls are made of

157k hanahaki where we really gotta work for the happy ending. OML it was so beautifully sad. reggie 💔💔. sirius said nobody on the earth deserves his baby brother, but if he had to pick someone, it would be James 😭😭 I'm a broken man

oml i havent updated in 2 months... its ok i didnt read that much cos i was too tired with uni and work. anyway i found all my fics through tiktok, tumblr, or thru the author cos this gold mine is too big sorry chief. which is like. someone recommended this following fic :skull:

I'm not okay (I solemnly swear)

107k and unfinished :000 cant believe it i read something unfinished but when i read the tags i was like ok yeah im in. my secret is that i read fics like these!!! and most of them are not well written but this one is. and so was that other one about sirius but it was only like 78k so i didnt write it up. anyway poor reggie is going through it, and idk if its ever getting finished cos the poor author might be going through it too. additional note: idk if this is the one but bestie has so many problems like get help fr.

the veil of secrecy

100k but its unfinished and let me tell nobody i was devastated. omg it was so sad so the summary is after reggie defected voldymouldy found out and like --- got all his remaining horcruxes and stuffed them inside his chest and abdominal cavity in some crazy ass surgery. and then he sewed his mouth shut and broke his fingers and kept him around him like some porcelain doll/pet and thats the punishment????? oml how do u think of that... anyway so he dissociates into his fabric walls of occlumency so voldy doesnt know where the locket is. ok whatever they escape and he falls in love with jamie idk. its unfinished.

to the boy who...

238k its similar to the previous one (written by the same author ibbsterkisster) and i found it to read to cope with the first one not being finished. yes this is like 3x as long sighs we all know how it is. anyway its similar except reggie is like his boy toy instead... which is even worse. anyway i cant remember anything about the jegulus but i DO remember that evan was so sweet (as he is) he like stroked the bruise on reggies wrist very gently :facepalm: and that scene lives rent free in my brain.

blood on my shirt, heart in my hand

22k and id just like to say, this is the kind of horror that i like. its kinda a mystery at first but its not so creepy, and the jegulus endgame is stronger than a bulletproof vest. so james is having dreams which are vaguely murderous, and when he wakes up the events like kinda match up. turns out hes like having some repetitive dissociative episode every night at 12.37am and getting up to murder people. and after the first time reggie was just like 'well if ur in then im in too' and straight up helps him murder people ?!? i loved it. murder husbands.

the long game

250k and this is the most unique fic youll get here. modern high school au where reggie is like this god genius talented painter and they work on a musical set together, and reggie gets an art show and idk why this stood out to me but he drew like a green soft and a purple cushion and was like... this represents me and evan, cos were ok separately but great together. i read this so long ago i cant even remember what i thought of it

jealousy, jealousy

85k + unfinished again!! anyway so bartylus fake date so james and evan can get jealous and then they both end up together. i just remember it was so cute because they would just hug each other like constantly all the time, and cry at the smallest inconvenience, then their friend/boyfriend would go and lie with them in bed and hug them and that was like a very significant portion of it. and im not even complaining this is the type of physical affection they deserve

pathological people pleaser

114k but it passed so fast?!?! james is so fuckin unstable man like get a therapist. ok i actually enjoyed this so much because for some reason i was really into horror (it was literally 2 days ago) and this wasnt horror but they did not reveal like why james was so fucked, and which parts of his narration were unreliable until quite a bit in. also there was more than a month gap between me bookmarking this one and the last one and like i dont even know what i did with myself??? (actually i lied i read more fanfiction i just forgot i did cos i forgot to bookmark it) (summary: summer holiday where starchaser fall in love also effie died in a car crash on the way to james after he called and was like mom im gonna kms. ok but it was really well written and full of suspense)

anti-hero

237k and i just finished it so its fresh in my mind (for once) ok now that i think about it i have no idea why regulus lived that first time... maybe i didnt read closely enough but like when fics are that long i kinda just miss some stuff or forget it and they all blur together anyway. ok so firstly i want a story of james and regulus in this universe when they were still at hogwarts because like having a secret relationship for 2 years and also doing drugs.. just the hurt comfort ahhh maybe without all the hurt and yelling but whatever. cant have it all. anyway this was so well written i always like narcissa tbh. glad james and regulus sorted out their shit eventually even though it took so. fucking. long. anyway yikes (summary: reggie lives after the cave and they go horcrux hunting and kill voldy but then reggie fucks off to america and becomes a drug addict again but comes back, and james has anger issues but only when it comes to regulus anyway they kept hurting each other that i didnt even feel sad anymore when it happened) addition: oml reggie being an addict + nic in beautiful boy the stars aligned finally i get some visual scenes in this fandom

doing a word count sum of the above and its: 6 million and 476 thousand...

meetings that start in the dark

656k and oml i was SEMI HOOKED. honestly like why did it take them so fucking long to get back together like the moment Voldemort dropped dead James should have been unable to stay away from regulus. anyway love how they're obsessed with each other, love how Luna and Harry are playing matchmaker. and i especially love how Sirius was the lame embarrassing parent ahah. also the amount of bs evan has to put up with from reg and barty... jesus christ i loved them in this except for how he was buff girl no evan is a twink and this fic wont change my mind

sometimes, running away does solve all your problems

15k so reggie literally walks out of his house and his parents dont even notice and he runs away and meets james and they live together it was perfect omfg i loved it so so so much. it had the same sad, resigned tone as the dsmp fics that i was obsessed with before and would reread over and over. and the small village quiet life is a dream

27 club

27k and why was it so heavy oml like i didn't sign up for this sadness. ok so reggie is DEAD but before that he and James were like lovers and drug buddies but also lacked healthy communication. james is like bye imma get clean without u, the literal love of my life. the whole thing was so sad because it would be like one bit of 'oh and they were in love and making music' and then another bit of 'james was mourning so hard he couldnt get out of bed'. it was lowkey magical to read except for how hes dead.

you missed my heart

100k and omfg im in shock tbh. like what the actual fuck. I'm in shock in an "im unsettled and creeped out" way. i don't even know why because ive read serial killer jegulus fics before and it was all peachy, but maybe this one was so creepy because we were in the dark, and the killing isn't unrealistic and romanticised. James was so smitten with regulus too I'm crying i was actually convinced that reggie wasn't the killer. i need soft regulus fluff to cope with this. to erase the image of reggie being a psychopath. omg Sirius after finding out the truth.. poor boy was like catatonic. I'm never reading unhappy ending fics again I've become weak my heart can't take it

I'm going to start including the shorter fanfics that i read and are memorable as well because i don't discriminate

which means i have a lot of catching up to do

the moment and the sound

29k so james runs away with harry to escape voldemort and meets reggie by chance. they live together and james is like straight up depressed. i liked this fic but also forgot what it was like.

raise hell

30k it's basically about them being angels and demons and working together to idk stop the world from ending. i liked the tone of the fic in that everyone was like set in their ways and was like wtf at everyone else but also i wish it was longer and there was more about each person's like representation like Sirius being the angel of justice. also it was so funny regulus the angel of diligence and James the demon of lust.

blackpool

63k and omg it was so well written but i was so confused the whole time cos i have no literary ability. like regulus being a straight up unreliable narrator?!?! deadass in shock half the time reading this tbh

calm before the storm

51k and i could draw a graph of the shock factor of this fic and it would look like a staircase with 3 steps. at the start it was so happy and cute and i was like omg why did i click on this again and then sirius dies and james loses his memory and reggie is like fucked up that's the first step up and then they heal whatever but then reggie straight up starts murdering people and making a show out of it i read it all like 😳😳. unhinged fr, and also everyone tried to kts at least once like besties go see a therapist please

pink lemonade

121k band tour au where they sing (i think mostly) arctic monkeys songs and kudos because the lyrics all fit so well to whatever clown ass miscommunication situation jegulus have going on. it was relationship angst and maybe i would have enjoyed it more if i read it earlier but rn i need action and thrill. i was like to my irl friend like miscommunication angst isn't enough for me anymore i need murder and she was like girl wtf.

youngblood

75k basically jegulus were roommates in juvenile detection and they had such a deep soul connection in the 2 months and then never reconnected until like 9 years later. ok anyway my favourite part was James and how he was so unhinged. like literally provoking bullies so they hurt him is his form of sh... girl get a grip honestly but also respect for the idgaf factor

mercy

36k so james gets possessed by a ??demon called mercy and reg is an exorcist... so its very obvious what drew me into this. anyway james lives at regs house while hes figuring out what the fuck is wrong with him and they just ??? fall in love. ok slow burn was not really burning at all more like a ticking bomb but the horror was cute. also i found it at night and then read it all at like 8-9am in the morning before getting out of bed so i cant remember it but it was well written and the demon was lowkey cute too he was just out for drama which i can relate

#marauders fic recs #wolfstar fic rec #jegulus fic recs #marauders ao3 #jegulus fanfiction #wolfstar fanfiction

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tillthelandslide · 1 year ago

Text

Same For You (11): Ego

A/n: Firstly, I need to say a massive thank you to @procrastinatinglikeapro (again) for your help with this chapter, your idea's are gold and I hope you like the way they panned out in this chapter, I love you and am so grateful to have you, honestly you do so much for me and you've done so much for this series that I adore so thankyou thankyou thankyou! You're the best... I hope you all enjoy this chapter! I love it and hope you do to :)

Lastly, this is the last thing I will be posting before I take my break, I'm not sure how long I will be gone but I want you all to know I love you and your support means the world to me, always.

Series Warnings: slow burn romance, eventual smut, age gap, complicated relationship (low-key unhealthy dynamics), eventual love...

Chapter warnings: there's probably some spelling mistakes/grammatical errors, strong language, confusing relationships

Taglist: @scooby-doodoo @thereisaplaceintheheart @theoriginalwhatsername @eaglestar31 @thefrontofmymind @fallingforel @partoftheairforce @procrastinatinglikeapro @poisonmedaddy13 @xthe1975 @all-things-fic @jstbeeingme @rossgirly @juliardk @you-muppet @moodyyyychickx @k4tie75 @friedlandblog @insidemymind19 @zzzhealy @at-her-very-foreign (add yourself using the link in my bio 😊)

Masterlist

(10) Dylan

Her head is pressed against his chest, his arms wrapped gently around her frame, his back aches against the (now) stiff feeling sofa, but he swore to himself he wouldn't move an inch, not wanting to wake her, needing to have her like this, if only for a brief moment.

For a moment he's unaware of his surroundings when he wakes, blinking a few times before he remembers where he is. At the end of her garden, in her home studio, squeezed together on a sofa she has in the room, one in which was far too small for them both. She shuffles next to him and he grunts as her arm jabs in in the side.

"Sorry" she mumbles into his chest, he just laughs pulling her tighter into his embrace. In her half asleep state, the thought that this shouldn't be happening doesn't creep into her mind. The thought that hours after Ross was just in her bedroom, she had fallen asleep in Matty's arms in her studio, completely escapes her.

"Morning love" his morning voice, one in which is gravely and deep, shocks her to the core. But it also soothes her and causes a happy smile to break out across her face.

"Morning" she feels him place a kiss to her forehead, new territory but more than welcomed. Still no sign of "we cants" or even the thought of Ross. She'd feel bad when she realised, that much was certain.

"You're pretty in the morning" she pulls away from his chest, looking at him for the first time that day. His eyes were sleepy and the brown orbs looked lighter in the morning light, he had a small, happy smile resting against his mouth and his eyelashes were curly and messy.

"So are you" she admits and he smiles nuzzling back into her neck. She giggles at the feeling of his stubble scratching her skin, finding his chin and pulling him away from her once more. Her eyes drift over the skin, fingertips following her line of sight, lightly scratching the stubble, making his eyes flutter shut and a content hum fall from his mouth. The noise does something to her and her eyes snap down to his lips for a brief second. She thinks about what it would feel like to have them against her own, whether they'd be soft or chapped, she had a slight inclination that she wouldn't mind either of those options. She wonders whether they'd make her stomach flutter, like Ross' did. She wonders how different they'd feel, whether they'd be gentler, or maybe harsher. She didn't know, and she wouldn't.

"You need to shave" she says and he nods, eyes still shut. When her movements stop his eyes reopen, falling on her mouth, noticing how her bottom lip was tucked in-between her teeth.

Oh he thinks, did she want this too?

He wonders what her lips would taste like, he thinks they'd be sweet, like cherry or strawberry, or maybe like honey or chocolate. He wonders how she'd kiss, would it be confident or unsure? Would it completely disable him, take over his entire being or would it just be like any other kiss? He knew he needed to find out, although he also knew he shouldn't. He just had to.

He moved forward just slightly, one hand taking in her waist. This definitely was not friendly anymore. He knew this shouldn't be happening, he knew his best friend clearly liked her, but he couldn't stop himself, not in that moment.

"Why'd you stop?" He asks. Because of Ross, because I can't like both of you, because we work together, because of Ross, because I like you but like Ross too, because despite how much I want to, I can't have you both she thinks. A pang of guilt hits her when the thoughts flood in, along with the "we cants" that she seemingly forgot about when she awoke.

"Matty...." She warns when he moves forward again, lips centimetres away from hers.

"Yes love?" He asks, eyebrow raising. Please don't stop me he thinks, please let me, just once, we can keep it between us, he thinks. They couldn't, one of them would feel far to guilty and would have to tell Ross. They both could lose her if they did that, and she could lose them. She couldn't imagine anything worse.

"Stop" she says, hand coming up to his shoulder and halting his movements, eyes shutting to avoid him completely, not trusting herself to look at him, worried she'd cave. Matty obviously doesn't know that things had begun progressing with Ross, this was the perfect time to tell him, but she couldn't bring herself to do so.

"Please love... Just one" she knows he's asking to kiss her but she shakes her head.

"We work together Matty... I can't" she says, she doesn't move just yet, his lips still grazing her.

"That doesn't mean you don't want to" he says and she shakes her head and she sighs.

"Don't do that Matty, don't ruin it" she says and he's the one sighing now.

"You've already ruined it" he says and her eyes snap open at that, finding his as she breathes out a sad "Matty..." and then she's standing, moving away from him, pulling at her jumper, trying to cover herself up from his stare.

"I'm sorry that was really dicky of me... I'm sorry" he stands too. Silence falls between them,

"Okay...." He wants to ask what this is then? How come he stayed the night? How come they cuddled until they fell asleep? Friends don't do that.

"I'm sorry Matty... You should go" she says and he nods, standing from his place on the sofa walking over to her and wrapping her up in a quick hug.

"Don't overthink this and let it affect us... It is is what it is" he says with a kiss to her forehead, before he's slipping out the door of the studio. His words send her reeling. What does he mean? Don't overthink this? It was confusing, how could she not?

She didn't understand him, or what he wanted. But she guess she's the exact same.

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Matty doesn't come to the studio that day, he doesn't text her with an explanation, and neither George nor Ross know the reason for his absence. Ross meets her at a coffee shop near the studio, they sit and talk for a while, tucked away into the corner, they look like a proper couple (although they weren't one): holding hands and kissing and cuddling without fear of people seeing (even though maybe they should have). They walk hand in hand down the street, only dropping the others when they near the studio.

The studio is crowded, far too crowded for her liking, it doesn't matter that they're her band and her friends, she feels claustrophobic and her breath is bated and harsh. Ross notices but doesn't say anything, even when she removes herself from the room. He wants nothing more than to follow her, to hug her until she calmed down, but she made him promise not to do anything that would make their situation obvious.

George searches for her, finding her in a closet somewhere, she's cramped into the small space, she sits with her back against the wall, her legs tucked up with her head placed on her knees.

He can tell she's trying to control her breathing, but she's struggling.

"Are you okay love?" He knows the question is redundant given the circumstances but he didn't know what else to say.

"Yeah just give me a moment" she says her voice so hoarse, she doesn't quite sound like her and it panics him. If she was to have a full blown panic attack, what would he do? He didn't know. Could he get Ross or would that panic her more? Could he call Matty? No, he doesn't think he should, he has a slight feeling this was because of him. A hunch.

"Is there anything I can do?" He asks and she finally looks up at him, her pupils are blown wide, and her eyes glisten, tears threatening to fall. She shakes her head but then her face contorts and her eyebrows raise as if she's had an idea.

"Just... Talk to me?" She asks. George hesitates but his back finds the wall and he slides down against it, crossing his legs given his height, he barely fit.

"Think the tracks so far sound really good, the band seem to love it and-" he's interrupted by her words, breathless ones "not about work" he nods and thinks for a moment.

"You know this morning when I was coming to the studio I saw this dog running about, it was cute, but in an ugly kind of way... I tried looking for it's owner but I couldn't so I just picked it up and started walking towards where it came from, hoping I'd cross paths with it's owner" he begins telling the story and she listens intently, distracted and so her breathing slows, almost returning to normal. Her rapid heartbeat slowly returning to a gentle pitter-patter.

"Eventually came across this man who shouted at me for supposedly 'stealing' his dog... I explained that I found it and was looking to return it to its owner.... He was having none of it. You know how people say dogs look like their owners? Well in that moment I completely understood what they mean" he explains and she finds herself laughing softly.

There is silence for a few moments and then she sighs.

"Thanks G, sorry about that" she says, smiling at him but a little awkwardly as if she felt bad for him, having to deal with her when she's like that.

"It's alright... Does that happen a lot?" He asks, not to intrude but just so he could prepare himself.

"Umm... Used to happen a lot more. Not so much anymore" she says and he nods.

"Do you mind me asking what caused it? Don't have to tell me obviously... Just know I'm here for you" he says and she nods, smiling. George had been somewhat of a saving grace recently, giving her advice and becoming the type of friend you know you could always rely on.

"G I might've messed up something really good... I might've put myself into a really difficult situation and I don't know how to sort it out" she admits and he nods. He doesn't delve any deeper than that, not really needing to. From what Matty had said about her, it was clear he fancied her and George already knew Ross was infatuated, it was obvious she was in a sticky situation.

"I'm sure you haven't messed anything up... How about, you just talk to them?" He says, she's surprised he knows what she was talking about without her having to say very much. But she couldn't help but wonder whether it was that obvious.

"Mattys ignoring me...." She says.

"Ignore him back..." Her eyebrows raise at that "I know he's my best friend and all... But that man hates it when he doesn't get what he wants... He'll come running back in no time... Besides, he cares about you too much" George says and she nods.

"Can I tell you something?" she asks and he nods. She suddenly knows she doesn't need to ask him not to tell anyone else. He was loyal and he wouldn't do that.

"I think... I like them both and I'm worried I'm going to fuck it all up and lose them both. I think I'm making a big mistake G... Should I just shut it down? Stop it once and for all... Before things get too out of hand" she asks and he sighs.

"I think... There's no harm in seeing how things go... You've just got to be honest with them... you might be surprised, but I don't want to see anyone getting hurt though, so if you think that's going to happen... Then maybe it would be best to shut it down" it wasn't exactly the answer she was hoping for, but she knew it was the right one. She wonders what he means but being surprised, but she doesn't have the energy to ask.

"Yeah..." She picks at her nail varnish, George reaches forward and grasps her hand gently, halting the attack.

"I don't think you'll ever lose either of them though... truly... I've known both of them practically my whole life and I've never seen either of them care for someone so much" George admits and she can't help but smile.

"I don't understand why though... I'm nothing special" George shakes his head at that.

"Listen... Maybe they see you through rose-tinted glasses, just a little bit. But I don't... And you're amazing Y/n. Charli thinks so too... You're good for them, that much is clear..." He says and she smiles again.

"Let's go back out yeah?" He asks and she nods, he helps her stand and they share a quick hug where she mumbles a thank you.

He speaks once last time "that includes you, you know... don't want to see you get hurt either" before they're joining the rest of the group again.

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It had been four days since she had told George about Matty, they had three studio sessions since then, each missing a certain curly haired singer. It had been four days since she had told Matty about her brother, four days since she woke up in his arms, four days since he wanted to kiss her but she stopped him, four days since he told her "not to overthink this" and then proceeded to ignore her.

He hadn't called her once, no late night or early morning phone calls where he spoke about anything that was going through his chaotic mind. She had opened up about something that was once so painful to her, something so very personal. She was vulnerable with him and he was sweet, they cuddled and it was intimate, exactly what she needed. But now, now she was unsure how to feel. He was making things hard, avoiding studio sessions, ignoring all her attempts to reach out, which reduced with time, she too could play his petty game.

She knows George can tell its bothering her, she's snappy in the studio, annoyed when things aren't working out or she can't get something to sound the way she wanted. She was struggling but most of all, she felt like she was wasting everyone's time.

The evenings and nights were better than the days, wrapped up in Ross' arms, her collection of his jumpers expanding as the days passed. Their lips had become well acquainted and she and he began sharing things only meant to bring each other closer. It was hard to keep her eyes off him in the studio, hard to ignore the way he (or George) smirked when she was caught. She was like a moth to a flame. He was magnetic, truly addictive. Things hadn't progressed passed heavy petting and needy kisses, much to either of their dismay.

Suddenly, Matty's there again, walking around the studio like he owns the place (did he? she didn't know), ego taking up far too much space. Frowning at the fact she's wearing a jumper that is so clearly not hers (Ross') as if he has any right to be pouting at her like that.

They're working on a track they had been brainstorming for the past five days, George, Ross and Y/n (and her band) had got it to a point where each of them were happy with it. But suddenly Matty is in the picture and wants to change it.

He's made George play the track 5 times now, pacing back and forth every time, grumbling words that no one can make out, finger resting against his lip as he thought. She rolls her eyes at him, although he doesn't see, she wish he would. Just to piss him off.

"What is it Matty?" she says, trying her hardest not to come across annoyed, her voice is clipped and it has his eyes finally snapping to her. He looked tired, had he not been sleeping? She pushes the thought away, reminding herself that she was annoyed.

"It's not enough" George and Ross furrow their eyebrows at the man, as if to say "what?".

"It needs more" his arms raise to the ceiling, as if to levitate the music and she finally snaps.

"What the fuck is 'more' Matty?" she asks, all three men look at her, Ross sits with his eyebrows raised, never in the whole month (and a bit) of knowing her, had he heard her sound like that. George sits with a smirk against his mouth, thankful that someone was standing up to Matty, because usually, it would be him. Her band, all of whom are scattered about the room, almost flinch at her words, knowing when this Y/n came out, it was not a good sign.

They're all tired, having (save for Matty) spent practically every hour for the past 5 days in the studio working their hardest to get these tracks right. It's so uncharacteristically like her, her own band are wary of what's about to happen, anxiously waiting another word from either of the pair.

"I dont know... feels kind of empty" his eyes snap to hers, and he raises his eyebrows, using her own words against her is a low blow, even for him. She raises from her chair, almost in slow motion, there is a few moments where everyone in the room think she might hit him. George squares his shoulders and his palms find the edge of his chair, ready to push himself up if needed.

Ross mirrors her actions, standing too, ready to stop her if he needed.

"You're the biggest cunt going Healy" her words are loaded and they cut him, deep. He was used to hearing things like that coming from other peoples mouths, but never had he ever expected that to come from her. He supposes he deserves it. In fact he knows he does.

He knows he's taken it too far and the guilt he feels is enough for him to slink back into an unoccupied chair, mumbling a brief "fuck off" to Ross and George who stare him down. He was hurt, only putting distance between them to protect his own feelings. She hadn't told him whether things with Ross had progressed, but deep down he knew she didn't need to. Something had shifted, and although he was unsure as to why that was or what had happened to cause it, it was obvious something was happening between her and his best friend.

If she had to pick between himself and Ross he was going to take the choice away. Why should she get the chance to break his heart first? He realises it's a bit late for that now, because when his eyes finally snap up to find her watery ones staring back at him, his heart splinters, shattering into a million pieces, as if someone had taken a sledgehammer to glass. He only had himself to blame this time.

"Y/n..." he stands but she's gone before she can stop him. He tries to follow her but a hand on his shoulder stops him. He was half expecting it to be Ross or George but when her drummer is inching over him, looking as if he was going to smash his fist to his face, he halts.

"I wouldn't follow her if I were you... not if you want that pretty face of yours to stay intact" Jays words aren't violent or threatening, he wasn't insinuating that he would be the one to hurt him, he was saying it would be her.

"I've got this" he hears Ross say and Matty can't help but roll his eyes. Of course you do, he thinks. Ross finds her outside the studio sitting against the cold concrete floor, her back against the wall, smoking a joint... well that's new, he thinks.

"Sorry you had to see that... he just had no right saying shit like that... he's ignored me for 5 days and then he's suddenly there with that huge fucking ego of his, thinking he can just change a track he has not helped with whatsoever" her words come out rushed and by the time she's finished talking she's breathless, her chest is heaving. He's slid down the wall too, one thigh pressed against hers, no space between them. She leans on his shoulder as she threads the end of the blunt through her lips, taking a large inhale of weed.

"Don't apologise... he can be a real dick sometimes" Ross says, eyes flicking towards her hand that holds the blunt.

"Sorry if I'm ruining all of your expectations of me" she says, referring to her use of the vile world and her smoking weed.

"Don't. Don't do that..." he says, shaking his head, she raises her eyebrows at him, asking what he means.

"You're only human Y/n..." his hand finds hers and he silently takes the spliff, she chuckles as he inhales before he hands it back to her.

"Truthfully I'm glad you called him a cunt... he needed to be knocked down a peg" Ross says and she can't help but laugh at that.

"i'm sorry he acted that way" Ross says and she sighs, eyes finding his, looping her unoccupied hand into his. He brings their interwoven hands up to his mouth, pressing against her skin gently.

"You must be so tired of apologising for him all the time" Ross just shrugs.

"Kind of comes with the territory... being his best mate for years... think i've had to apologise on behalf of him more times then I can count... You know he doesn't mean it though right?" she nods.

"He just can't deal with the fact he's not getting what he wants" she says and Ross furrows his eyebrows again, unsure what she means. She instantly regrets sparking up the spliff, knowing she became unwavering honest when she smoked weed. It probably had something to do with the fact she was calm, not constantly worried about hurting someone else's feelings.

"He wanted to kiss me..." she admits and Ross's mouth falls open in a little "oh" at the confession. They had spent the past 5 days and nights with each other, shared things that no one else knows, yet this information is new.

"Did you let him?" Ross asks and she shakes her head.

"When did this happen?" she likes that he doesn't sound annoyed at her, he was simply asking to iron out the details.

"After you left the other night... I couldn't sleep because I needed to tell him about Dylan... he came round and I told him... everything" he nods.

"How did he react?"

"Fine... Good. He was really understanding..." she knows if she tells him the rest he'd probably feel a little hurt but she can't stop herself now.

"We ended up falling asleep... nothing happened.. we just cuddled... and we woke the next morning and he tried to kiss me... but I didn't let him" she explains and Ross nods.

"Why?" he asks, wanting to know if the reason had anything to do with him.

"Partly because we work together... mainly because of you" she admits and Ross can't help the huge smile that breaks out across his face. His brain seems to ignore the fact that she didn't once say she didn't want him to kiss her.

"Ross.... I" she goes to say that she does feel something towards Matty but the door behind them opens, revealing Matty himself.

"Mind if I steal her for a second?" Matty says and she turns away from him, her hand falling from Ross' not going unnoticed by the curly haired man standing in the doorway. She inhales more weed, before she's stubbing it out.

"Please" her eyes snap to him and she immediately sees the sincerity and she nods, looking at Ross and nodding, letting him know it was okay.

He stands and Matty takes his place. He leaves them, still happy she didnt kiss Matty because of him.

"I'm really sorry Y/n" he takes her hand in his, she thinks about pulling back but doesn't.

"I dont really know what you want me to say Matty..."

"Say you forgive me" he brings her hand up to his lips, pressing gently against the skin, right where Ross' landed, she immediately pulls away and stands. He looks up at her for a second, before he stands.

"That is not how it works Matty... not how this works" she gestures between them "you cant just ignore me for days after I open up to you about something that was one of the hardest things I've ever been through and then be a dick to me in the studio and then just say 'sorry' and expect me to just forgive you" she argues and he frowns.

"You said you were fine!" she really feels like slapping him then but she refrains.

"Don't be stupid Matty! I still lost my brother and I've dealt with that but I still was vulnerable with you and you completely shut me out!" he knows, he knows no matter how long after someone's death, part of you remains the same, lost and empty without them, no matter if the other parts of you have healed or not. He feels stupid.

"Y/n/n... I'm so sorry... honestly, I'm not just saying that, I really am. I've been an idiot, a selfish one. And I'm genuinely so so sorry" she sees the sincerity in his eyes and it has her own eyes watering.

"Y/n..." he steps towards her and brings her into his embrace, soothing her as she cried.

"I thought you hated me..." she admits and he coos at her, hand soothing down her back, over Ross' jumper. He was so stupid to make this whole situation about that, he was so selfish to make it about him and about Ross, when she was there, bearing her deepest struggles to him.

"I could never hate you and I'm so sorry I ever made you think that" he says, she pulls back slightly and his thumbs find her tear coated cheeks, running along the smooth skin and removing the tears before they fell further.

"You're very pretty when you cry, maybe I should make you cry more often" she doesnt appreciate the joke and shoves him (but only gently), head finding his chest again.

"You're mean" she says and he chuckles, lips finding the top of her head.

"I'm sorry I made it about me" he says into the top of her head, pressing another soothing kiss to her hair.

"Just because I wouldn't kiss you" he doesn't appreciate the joke this time, mumbling a "not fair"

"Bet you would've let Ross kiss you" the comment is uncalled for and she sighs but doesn't budge from his embrace. If only he knew... She suddenly feels awful and she knows what she needs to do...

"Don't do that Matty..." he frowns above her, not that she sees, because when his fingertips find her chin and pull her gently until she's looking at her, she sees a small smile.

"Forget I mentioned it okay?" she nods. She wouldn't forget. She couldn't.

"This has all got a bit out of hand" she laughs and he does too, pulling her into one last hug before letting go.

"Ross is good for you... he deserves you" Matty says and she doesn't know why, but it stumps her.

"Matty... it's... its not like that" liar she thinks. It most definitely was like that. She was wearing his hoodie for Christ sake and she hadn't been able to get him off her mind since that first kiss or since any others shared since.

"Well if it was... you'd have my blessing" she doesn't like that. Not in the slightest. As silly and delusional as it sounded, she wanted him to say it wasn't okay, to demand she picked him instead, maybe that way it would make the decision easier (it wouldn't) .

"Okay...." her voice trails off and she suddenly feels awkward.

Dont lie Matty... he thinks. Tell her it's not okay, tell her that he knew she wanted Ross but tell her that you want her to want you, to need you.

"It really hurt when you threw my own words back at me like that" she says after a moment of silence, she really wants to get away from the topic of Ross and her mind short circuited back to this. He takes her in, her eyes which we're slightly glossy, her bottom lip that rutted out just a little bit, two little dents on her chin from pouting.

He pulls her in quicker than he ever has before. He pushes down all his ego, all the feelings that being rejected conjured up.

"I am so sorry Y/n... I get like that sometimes... I can't promise it won't happen again, I'd love to... But I can't" she wanted to tell him she wouldn't forgive him if he did something like this again, but she knew she would.

"I don't want to hurt you..." His lips are back on her head, she feels warm in his embrace and despite his previous words, she feels safe, like he'd never hurt her, not purposefully anyway.

"So don't" her words are barely there, whispered into his chest, but he hears them. He wishes it was that simple, but he also knew himself, and he knew he couldn't promise that.

"I'll try love... I'll try" she nods.

"Have you been struggling to sleep? You look tired" she says, her hands pushing back his curls slightly. His eyes flutter momentarily before he's staring down at her again. He nods his head.

"Our late night phone calls had become a ritual to be honest... couldn't fall sleep without hearing you on the other side of the phone" he admits and she raises her eyebrows up at him.

"That's your doing Healy" she says.

"I know... wont happen again, trust me" he says and she knows its not true. She knows it most likely will happen again, she's convinced that's their dynamic, she thinks they're almost too similar in some ways. She knew, deep in her soul, that they'd hurt each other in the end, but that they'd also heal each other.

He pulls her into another hug.

"You make it hard to be around you" his confession is sort of backhanded, something that could be taken both ways. Truthfully she doesn't know how to take it. She pulls away from him and frowns up at him.

"What do you mean?" She asks and he sighs deeply, pulling her back once more, not wanting to say any more heart renching admissions to her face.

"It's hard to be around you when I want you like this" he admits. Her stomach flips. Hearing him say she wanted her, it did something to her. Set her alight. She doesn't say anything. And neither does she, for a second.

"Forget I said anything yeah?" Another kiss to her head and then he pulls her back by her chin, only letting her go when she nods.

She wouldn't forget. She couldn't.

"Lets get back yeah?" he asks. She nods. He walks, she follows. Staring at the back of his head, the curls bobbing as he walks up the steps.

What the fuck? she thinks... this whole situation just keeps getting more confusing.

She wants nothing more than to turn him around, say "You cant want to kiss me one minute and then tell me I have your blessing to get with your best friend the next and THEN say you want me", she wants to demand a clear answer. But she doesn't. She returns back to the studio, where everyone watches her intently, half expecting her to snap again. But she doesn't.

And at the end of the session, when the band have slowly filtered out, George has gone home, Matty and Ross walk her home. Together.

(12) June

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