#i just think Vash is very very perceptive. and i like to think he knew & just didnt do anything about it

[orcelito]

ok, i cant resist the urge to make a post about it after all, especially since it's related to a post i made prior

one of my favorite moments in trimax is By Far this part in chapter 35

[ID: Two pages from Trigun. The first starts with Wolfwood thinking, "Now that I think 'bout it, it may be one of the major differences between our species." That deep rooted dear I felt on the ship…" He thinks of Vash crying blood and, swearing, wonders, "Is he the one who can save humankind? That monster?" Wolfwood is briefly shown in resolution before someone calls, "Hey, Wolfwood!" and he looks up with surprise.

Vash sits with a smile at the edge of a rooftop, backed by the Fifth Moon and its prominent crater. Vash asks with a smile, "Just coming back now? You're a bit of a night owl, huh?" Wolfwood looks taken aback and wary. End ID]

Right Here. Vash is just sitting there, smiling like normal, but he's got the backdrop of the damage he caused on the moon set Perfectly behind him. it's a glaring reminder to Wolfwood of who exactly he's dealing with here, and that TERRIFIES him.

& the fact that Wolfwood still remembers that moment of crying blood as a moment of true fear. because for all the cheer Vash shows in the average moment, Wolfwood just recently saw him nearly lose control Again (at the Dragon's Nest). the second time he witnessed it, & the third time he would know about.

Vash is a walking atomic bomb with multiple charges. even with how cheerful & kind he is, he's shown Multiple Times that he does not have full control. he is decidedly something different, something Hazardous to humans, and Wolfwood knows this very very painfully.

for all that Wolfwood loves Vash, he is also terrified of him. and at this point in the story, that terror is potent enough to nearly eclipse his affection for Vash.

leading to some of the next most iconic pages:

[ID: The next page starts with Wolfwood standing behind the sitting Vash, his expression hard and the moon bright behind him. Vash seems sad and has one eye open. A close-up focuses on Wolfwood looking down.

Wolfwood thinks, "So easy to pull the trigger. So easy to remove half the problem." Another close-up with bright lighting obscures his face but for one eye. Then Vash turns around curiously and asks, "What's up?" Wolfwood sits behind him and says "Nothin'. Come on. Let's go." Vash seems surprised as Wolfwood scolds, "Don't get yerself tangled up in every little skirmish ya see. It'll be pointless if ya get yerself killed before ya meet him." End ID]

the manga frames it like Vash doesn't know Wolfwood was pointing the gun at him, but I think he did know. he's freakishly perceptive over and over again throughout the story. he HAS to be in order to survive like he has. he'd hear the movement of the gun & sense Wolfwood behind him...

he'd know. i really think he knew.

but he doesn't do anything about it. there is zero fear in his face. he turns to look at Wolfwood curiously, a bit confused, but not afraid. he never once thought that Wolfwood would shoot him. there's full faith and trust there in that moment.

Wolfwood pretends that nothing happened, & Vash lets him. they both move on, not talking about it, because they never talk about Anything of substance like this (not until much, Much later).

overall, it's just such a great example of their relationship's development. Wolfwood's fear & Vash's trust that he won't act on it... it's just. Man.

(EDIT: people have made some good points about how Vash's expression when Wolfwood points the gun at him shows that he probably did know and YEAH that's a good point! & probably why I was so certain he knew lol, I just hadn't realized it myself)

[nanomooselet]

My Brother's Keeper (V)

This whole memory retrieval/assimilation scene is interesting for a number of reasons (putting aside the continuous wails of agony emitted watching it; I know I discuss it calmly, but that's because I'm a wizard I compartmentalise/modulate my tone in text. Hooray for incomplete degrees).

In the score, this bit is called "The Memory World of Knives" - these are Knives's memories, ones that he can share with Vash for whatever reason. By that token, then, it's how you can figure out which incidents Knives has direct knowledge of and involvement in.

He remembers the blood-soaked room of withered Plants, of course. Doubt he'll ever forget it. Not because of the Last Run, but because it's when Vash turned on him and their confrontation was put on pause - up until now.

Vash fleeing the SEEDs wreckage in ep 1/8 then entering the Plant room in ep 9, Knives withdrawing, then showing up at Jeneora Rock in ep 3, then finally Vash entering Knives's piano room in July at the end of ep 10, and the confrontation/manipulation/awakening/battle over 11 and 12. It's all a single argument/fight split into parts, separated by over a century.

Funny that the only thing Knives seems to truly regret about it is cutting off Vash's arm. Maybe… maybe because it's the one wound even he can't lie to himself about inflicting. I wonder, does he believe it was his one mistake? If he'd found another way, Vash wouldn't have stuck a gun in his face? Which makes him trying to "fix" it being what clues Vash in that he's being lied to some sublime irony. Vash doesn't trust a world where his brother never hurt him.

Anyway, Knives was obviously there in person to destroy Jeneora Rock, so he remembers that. Knives definitely intended Rosa's rejection to happen when he left her alive (interesting that he only uses her voice, not her appearance. This man has a problem with women) and he would have learned about Tonis's injuries from Zazie via the cage of bug-Worms.

Then comes the crashed ships and the vanishing reporters. Roberto and Meryl don't do anything but stand there looking blank, and that's because Knives doesn't have anything to do with them. He doesn't care to learn what they mean to Vash, so he doesn't bother to twist it. He goes for “oh they'd hate you if they knew about what you've done”, and as Vash's shame makes him vulnerable, he rips them out of Vash's head. That's them disposed of and he doesn't think about them again. (More fool him.)

The guilt that Knives planted in Vash is his primary weapon. Remember that it was his guilt that made Vash want to die in the wake of the Fall. Knives is using it to chip away at his will to resist; every time Vash is reminded of it, he reels and his defences weaken.

Similarly, it's why we don't see that much of Rem and nothing of her post-Tesla except her running into the fire. What we do see of her makes her look rather one-dimensionally nice, well-meaning but suspiciously secretive, and Vash food-obsessed, dorky, clingy, insecure and oblivious. Meanwhile Nai is very clever and perceptive and handsome and perfect and amazing with his super cool powers, just like Rem said. But she didn't actually mean anything to him.

It's conspicuous that he also doesn't actually talk at all about poor Tesla and tries to dismiss her significance ("she was but a grain of sand in the desert of their misdeeds" is a banger line, by the way; the English localisation is always excellent but goes off as the series draws to its climax, and it don't stop 'til the credits roll on the finale). These are the rare points you can find honesty in anything Knives says: via what he omits.

You have to keep in mind throughout this entire sequence that besides the geranium petals and Vash cuddling Rem in the fields of geraniums, Knives is in control. This is his world, and these are his memories that he's using to infiltrate and tear Vash's memories apart. It's not objective - there's no context, for one - nor is it complete. Vash's perspective is absent.

It's actually a bit surprising how rarely Vash's voice comes through in the series. From what I can tell it's mostly Knives's perspective that's assumed.

But oh yes, Knives knows all about the Punisher. He built the Eye of Michael, after all, and Dr. Conrad works for him. Rollo crying out to Vash for salvation that he never received probably came from Dr. Conrad, as well as that it was Wolfwood in the end who killed Monev.

And here we are at last. The dreadful cost and hidden purpose I mentioned all the way back in Part I comes due. Wolfwood's purpose, the poison lacing Knives's helpful gift. He's the viral shell carrying Knives's infection. Because Vash opened his heart to Wolfwood as a friend, he also opened it to Knives.

And so, from the inside, Knives begins inexorably to devour his brother alive.

Knives-the-person wearing the Punisher's face to fire Punisher-the-weapon and kill Rollo/Tonis, the child Vash couldn't save, is his most perfectly constructed and vile feat of manipulation below I did it all for you./Everything I did was for you. It has an almost perversely admirable precision.

Silly Vash. Did he think he'd made a friend in the Punisher? Brought out the goodness in him? The Punisher is a monster, a killer, a weapon and what's more, one who was always being wielded by Knives. He betrayed you; he isn't a good man and he'll never change because humanity never learns. Just like Knives told Vash all those years ago. Was it really "Wolfwood" who Vash loved, or was it only the part of him that was shaped by his real brother? (It's the former because Vash clocked him from the start and could tell Wolfwood never wanted to be the Punisher, but even if Knives wasn't gleefully monologuing he'd never hear it. I hate how much he's enjoying this.)

Everywhere you turn, Vash, and no matter far it is you run, I'll be here for you because I love you. (I won't let you get away.)

How foolish you are, little brother, to have your hopes kindled because you "saved" a monster. One only lives if another dies - and a monster would rather die. You should let it happen. It's a necessary sacrifice. It's mercy. Death is a wonderful thing. (Death is a mercy Tesla never received. And perhaps still hasn't.)

You're too weak to give it to them. That's why they'll never love you as I do. You make the false promise that is hope for salvation, and inevitably you fail to fulfil it, and they will always turn upon you in their despair. (I am the only one who will protect you.)

There is a single promise that you can always keep. Your real purpose. The reason you exist. What a weapon is for. Have mercy. I will wield you. You need not continue to suffer. Don't fight. Submit. Give yourself to me. Let go. Unleash your power.

By the way, literally every single one of the things he's using to heap blame on Vash is Knives's fucking fault and he is the worst brother ever of all time forever and ever amen. And a liar. Knives can never forgive humanity, he says, because only he loves Vash enough to protect him from humanity. Even a human's love, he says, is a leash; contingent upon Vash's charm and usefulness and indistinguishable from hatred...

Knives either lives on opposite planet or he's secretly human.

And still. And yet.

I pity him.

(Okay. We're in the home stretch now, guys - and believe me, I deeply appreciate your support - but you might want to brace yourself.)

(Part I)

(Part II)

(Part III)

(Part IV)

(Part VI)

(Part VII)

[lost-technology]

A Lust-Filled Animal

Ace Trigun Week Prompt 3: Coming Out Milly was a perceptive one... Who knew that he was THAT kind of ace gunman?

A Lust-Filled Animal Vash was nursing a bruise on his left cheek.   Meryl wore an angry, determined look on her face.  “It was just some harmless flirting,” Vash complained.  “Flirting? You were practically climbing her!” It was another day spent with ladies that Vash apparently did not consider ladies because he never acted around Meryl Stryfe and Milly Thompson the way he acted around almost every other woman he met from town to town. He had just successfully chased away a “hot young thing” by coming on too strong.  Vash the Stampede was “a notorious womanizer” as the notices about him read – not that anything else about him was true.  The two insurance agents had learned that he wasn’t the cadaver-junkie that he was advertised to be, nor was he “12 feils tall.”  He didn’t have a mohawk.  Sometimes his nerves seemed more like jelly than like steel. “Someone has to protect innocent citizens from this lust-filled animal!” Meryl complained.  Milly held up a finger.  “I don’t think he really is, Meryl.” “Didn’t you just see him?”  “Well, Ma’am,” Milly began, ignoring the look of discomfort Vash was giving her, “He always goes over the top, doesn’t he?”  “Hmmm,” Meryl contemplated, “I suppose he does.  It’s not like he ever gets lucky.” “Girls!  Girls!”

“Well, I think Mr. Vash chases women away on purpose!”  Vash’s face fell and his eyes were wide. 

“It’s true, isn’t it?” Milly asked, sitting down on the bench next to him.  “I think you’re trying to keep them out of danger.  It won’t work on us! Following you is our job!” Vash grumbled something under his breath about “perception.”  “So who do you think you are, hot pants?” Meryl demanded.  “What you’ve been doing is very rude!” Vash rubbed the back of his neck.  “I’m not actually as interested in girls as people think, heh, heh,” he confessed.  “Guys, either, really.  But, you know, I have a reputation to uphold!” “Some reputation!” Meryl spat.  “Well,” Milly tallied, “Vash the Stampede isn’t a vicious killer, he’s not 12 fiels tall, he doesn’t have a mohawk, he wants love and peace for the world and he’s NOT a womanizer!” “I guess so,” Vash said uncomfortably.  He never needed a donut so badly in his life. 

[epilvgue]

「𝔟𝔞𝔫𝔤 𝔟𝔞𝔫𝔤!」- Somehow he had almost just assumed that everyone else must be from Earth as well, even if it was a different version from what Vash was vaguely familiar with.

Yet even in his perhaps played up shock, the man's perceptiveness did not fail him. The formerly fair haired man caught the forlorn expression that flickered over Thor's face at the mention of Earth but he wouldn't comment on it.

Instead, Vash blinked. Once. Twice.

...The realm eternal? Asgard? - Something like that sounded familiar somehow, but he couldn't place it. It was fuzzy, long in the past, maybe something he had read once upon a time on the ship.

Finally, the ace gunman touched the back of his neck with a little grin. "Sorry but I don' think I've ever heard of a place like that... I'll take it you've never heard of a planet called No Man's Land either, huh?"

Vash didn't immediately assume the man had lived millennia, why should he? Not that the concept of a long life was foreign to Vash... he knew well that he might survive for a very long time himself. Near indefinitely depending on how he used his power. Even if he was hanging by a thread. All of his sister Dependents on No Man's Land had been around for likely more than a millennia themselves. Or close to it.

He nodded, now sticking his hands into pockets of his duster. He nearly burrowed his face into the high collar, a distant look coming to his eye. "Yeah, probably different. I never really knew Earth. Humans had already set off before I was born. Only ever really got a sense of it thanks movies and books and the Geo-Plant room."

But then he pulled his head out of it all and smiled again. "Anyways, what's yer planet like though? Asgard, right?" By now the pair were actually ambling out of the labyrinthine shop at last. And for a moment Vash paused. "Say, ya want a drink or somethin' ta eat? My treat, call it thanks fer helpin' me out. We could keep talkin' if yer interested."

「𝔟𝔞𝔫𝔤 𝔟𝔞𝔫𝔤!」- There was a moment where nothing seemed to come of his offered hand and Vash thought about pulling back before it became too awkward. Yet before he could, Thor had gripped him in quite the firm handshake. The hollow smile lit up just slightly as they exchanged pleasantries.

Then, as they weaved around a display, the blonde asked a rather tough question. And it showed on Vash's face as he furrowed his brow slightly. He crossed his arms, head bobbing from side to side as he thought. Until finally, almost dejectedly -

"...That's kind of a difficult question ta answer..." He knew that it wasn't like he had to explain the whole thing, he didn't have to tell the man absolutely everything, but even then, explaining it to someone who might not understand took a lot more thought than trying to explain it to someone like Roberto, who, while from an apparent alternate reality, understood the basics despite how things differed.

"...We used ta live on Earth, but then the old humans went searchin' for other places to live. They used up too much on Earth so they had ta go beyond it, lookin' fer new places ta colonize." His voice dipped, The Fall still painful to think about. "There was a malfunction with one of the fleets and it ended up crashin'. A lotta lives were lost in the crash but the survivors did their best. So... I'm sorta from Earth, but also not."

However, quickly, it dawned on him and he snapped his head up to look at Thor wish a sort of blank-faced shock and curiosity. Of course, it could be that the man was just from a different colony but the way he spoke definitely made it seem -

Huh?

Despite everything he had witnessed, despite what he was: from modified humans to other Independents, his nigh innumerable sisters, to sentient worm hive minds like Zazie the Beast ...aliens proper were still...

Spooky.

"...Hang on... you're not from Earth?"

[noa748]

Do you have the Trigun Si posted anywhere?

nah.  but for your amusement, here’s what I have so far…

The sky is an unbelievable shade of blue.

The observation sparked a sense of déjà vu in him.  The temperature was unusually mild today and the sunshine more cheery than severe.  It almost felt like he was being mocked.

That’s right.  I remember thinking the same thing the day I met…

…The day he met that terrifying man in the white jacket.  The last person he had met that made him feel such an utter lack of control.  He felt like he was unraveling today, just like he had back then…

Another step.  His feet felt like they were weighted with lead.  History repeated itself, didn’t it?  Here he was, alone all over again.

His brother was gone.  Vanished.

Well, that wasn’t right.  He was certainly somewhere, but there was no trail to follow.  He hadn’t even taken his gun, which was unthinkable.  Had he been in his right mind?  Still injured, he posed a threat mostly to himself—but fully healed, he was a threat to humanity.

Vash the Stampede wasn’t sure what to make of it.  He just knew that the moment he lost track of Knives, he had to leave everything he had built for himself behind.  No one he loved was safe with his brother on the loose.

Rem… how could I have been such a fool?

His pack felt heavier than normal; his shoulder was already getting sore.  He wasn’t used to traveling like this anymore.  He had practiced shooting and worked out every morning for the past six months, but he had still softened up.  He hadn’t realized how much he had been hoping for it all to finally end… until it hadn’t.

He was thinking a lot about the past today, as he trudged step by step through the desert to the city of Octovern.

The girls, at least, were safe.  They were going to be angry with him for leaving, for doing this again, but they were safe.

One night, back then, they almost hadn’t been.  The night he’d taken a life to save them.  How much more would it take to protect the ones he loved?

God helps those who help themselves, friend.

He could hear Wolfwood chastising him even now.  It was the truth; he would just have to keep moving and hope for the best.  He was just so damn tired… couldn’t he be shown some kind of sign, some kind of pat on the back telling him it’d be okay in the end?

Just as he had this thought, he crested a hill and caught a glimpse of a crumpled figure on the other side.  For a moment his breath caught in his throat and he forgot his weary musings; then the figure shifted weakly, and he unthinkingly broke out into a run.

—-

Hey.  Hey… miss—are you okay?  

It was hard to differentiate the voice from the hazy dream I’d been having.  Was this another hallucination?  Blond spiky hair, red coat, bright blue eyes… I knew him.

“Vasss th’ zampeede,” I managed to mumble, squeezing my eyes shut and then opening them again.  My tongue felt swollen.  There was sand in my mouth, in my eyes, jammed into every crevice in my body.

He froze for the briefest of moments, but then I saw him shuffle around for something in his coat.  Something touched my lips and then water, glorious water was flowing into my mouth.

I grabbed at the waterskin and managed to take a solid swig before he tore it out of my hands.  The water stayed down for about two seconds before my stomach revolted and I threw it back up.

“Easy now,” he said quietly, lightly rubbing my back.

When I shakily reached for the waterskin a second time, he kept a firm hold on it and let me have a little at a time.

—-

Who is this girl?

She knew his name.  That alone was coming as less and less of a surprise nowadays, as people started to learn the full story and hear his name associated with more positive deeds.  Without Knives actively working against him, the tides had begun to slowly turn.

But something about her was so strange.  First of all she was carrying no pack, just a small purse slung over her shoulder.  She wore jeans and a t-shirt—nothing to shield her from the desert sun, which was made even more evident by the sunburn she was sporting.

Nothing to shield her save for the cap she wore, a style he hadn’t seen in a long time.  The logo on the front of it read “Patagonia”.

Her shirt had a logo on it, too.  It said “Anchorage, Alaska” and had picture of what looked like… were those mountains?  He had only seen mountains in the books he’d read as a kid.  Alaska…

“The last frontier,” he muttered to himself.  A memory was stirring, though it was hard for him to sort out his thoughts with his mind muddled from exhaustion.

She was still severely dehydrated.  Her short hair was mussed and full of sand from the desert wind; she was sunburnt and her lips were cracked.  He could think about these abnormalities later.  First order of business was to get her out of the sun.

Octovern was still a few iles away…

Oddly enough, he found a little more pep in his step now that he had someone to support.  She would die if she was left out here; he couldn’t afford to drag his feet.

So Vash set off at a much faster pace for the city, the strange girl slung over one shoulder.  For the time being his problems were on the back burner.

—-

For a while the stranger-but-not-a-stranger carried me, and for a while everything was dark.  Time seemed to blur together and my perception of events was hazy.

Then, finally, everything became still and I felt almost centered again.  I was made aware suddenly that I was lying in a bed, eyes closed.  Sunlight was filtering in through my eyelids.

I awoke to see a fairly plain, generic looking room with white walls and wood flooring.  There was a glass of water and a tray with a few medical instruments on the nightstand next to me, so I guessed that maybe I was in some sort of clinic.  A tall window to my left was open, and the sheer white drapes hung over it blew in the warm breeze that was coming in.

There was a man sitting in an armchair against the wall.  He wore brown pants and a white button up shirt, his blond hair slightly messy but still standing in near vertical spikes.  His eyes were closed and he was propping his cheek against one fist.  I noticed a small beauty mark under his left eye.  Such a small detail, but so telling—suddenly I was absolutely certain that I knew this man.

Of course I knew him.  I had spent half of my awkward early teens idolizing him.  

There were a few vague memories coming back of an endless desert and the unforgiving sun… and a man in a red coat, leaning over me.  It was definitely him… but how was it him?

Water.

Suddenly I remembered and the need hit me like a freight train, but my limbs wouldn’t cooperate the way they were supposed to and I flailed so hard trying to reach the glass by my bedside that I fell clean out of the bed.

The man in the chair woke up with a yelp and was fussing at my side in an instant, though all I could muster with my dry vocal cords was a disgruntled groan.  After lying there grimacing for a second, I made grabby hands at the glass of water that was still out of reach.

The blond sat me up and placed the glass in my hands.  I gingerly took a few sips, suddenly remembering throwing up back in the desert.

“Jeez, you scared me,” the man said, sinking to the floor to sit beside me.  He ran a hand through his hair.  “You okay, miss?  Oh, man, I told the doc I’d watch you, he’s gonna kill me…”

I coughed, swallowed another gulp of water, and then chanced a smile.  My cracked lips hurt.

“I’ve been better,” I admitted.  “Where…?”

“The city of Octovern,” he replied.  Then he let out a sheepish laugh, rubbing the back of his neck.  “Sorry.  I’d introduce myself, but it seemed like you already knew me back there.”

I blinked.  Had I said his name back there?  I must’ve.  Octovern?  And the desert… what the hell was going on, anyway?  Was this some kind of elaborate dream?

“Guess so,” I mumbled, brow furrowing.  I pressed a hand to my forehead.  “Sorry.  Um.  Vash.  My name’s… my name’s Brittany.”

“Brittany…” he tested it out, and then looked over to smile at me.  His eyes practically sparkled as his voice dropped a note.  “That’s a very pretty name.”

“Thanks…” I blinked.  It was literally the most common name ever.  Was he trying to flirt?  I didn’t have the energy to figure it out.  “Uh, do you have any food?”

His face fell but he was quick to recover, jumping to his feet.  “Right!  You must be starving!”  He bent down to scoop me up, catching me completely off guard, and placed me back on the bed before dashing out of the room with a quick “Be right back!”

I was left with a brief moment of peace, sitting there on the bed in the quiet room.  My brain was still fighting to catch up.  Octovern… Octovern…

Wasn’t that a city in the manga?  It had been so long.  And that was Vash, so the desert setting made sense, but…

I pinched myself.  Pain.  I glanced around the room, focusing on my senses—the sterile smell of a clinic, the warmth of the breeze coming in through the window, the sound of kids playing outside…

Leaning forward, I peered out the window for a better view.  My room overlooked a busy street.  There were in fact a group of kids kicking a ball around out there.  Across the way was a bakery, and I caught a whiff of what smelled like fresh baked bread.  My stomach growled.

…How could this be a dream?

Staring at my hands in my lap, I fought to remember just what I had been doing before waking up here.  Wandering in the desert…

Suddenly I stopped.  I frowned and felt a cold feeling in my stomach as unwanted memories came back.  Why…?  Couldn’t I just not dwell on shit for one second?

I had just been so depressed, so bitter, so done with the charade of my life… nothing I did ever seemed right or good enough, and I was sick and tired of everything.  The last week of my lease I finally snapped, sold almost everything I owned, and packed the rest in my car.  I quit my shitty job, and that shitty man, with zero notice and got in my car and drove.

That was right… the last thing I remembered was crossing the state border, sobbing, wishing things could’ve been different.  Wishing I could’ve been stronger instead of running away.  Wishing for a sign, any sign, that things were going to be okay.

And then, somehow, I was wandering through the desert, sunburnt and dehydrated.  If he—Vash, if he was Vash—hadn’t found me, I would’ve died.

Footsteps coming back up the hallway.  I looked over just in time to see the blond come back through the doorway, wearing a bright smile.

“Here.”

I reached out to take a steaming bowl of soup from him.  It looked disappointingly brothy, but I understood that that was probably the best I could manage for now.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said quickly, pulling the chair up closer to the bed and sitting down once more.  He examined me for a moment before continuing.  “What were you doing wandering the desert with no food or water, anyway?”

I shook my head, idly stirring the soup.  “I don’t really remember.  Last I checked, I had a vehicle and I knew exactly there I was.”

“Where was that, exactly?”

“Um…” I stared at him dubiously.  “White River Junction, Vermont.”

“…Vermont?” A blank stare was all I received in return.

“Yeah, you know, east coast?”

I knew I was still weirdly in denial… but seeing the look on the man’s face gave me a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.  Despite all the evidence to the contrary, couldn’t this just be a dream?  The implications of it being real were too terrifying.  I had wanted to escape, to run away, but this…

“The shirt you were wearing when I found you…” The blond was frowning, brow furrowed.  “It said ‘Alaska.’”

“Yeah, I have a friend who lives in Anchorage,” I replied, attempting to seem nonchalant.  

Where were my clothes, anyway?  After glancing around the room for a moment, I saw them washed and folded on the shelf below my nightstand.  My Patagonia hat sat atop the pile, mocking me.  I would’ve much rather ended up in Patagonia than stranded in a godforsaken desert.

He was staring at me hard, his blue eyes piercing.  With his cheery façade dropped, I found it difficult to meet his gaze.  The silence felt like it lasted forever.

Then he suddenly reached into his pocket, pulling out a small card with a sheepish grin.

“So where’s New Hampshire?”

“Hey!” I nearly spilled the soup, lunging to snatch the card back.  “Where’d you get my license?!”

He both hands up in a gesture of surrender, leaning back a bit.  “Hey, hey!  Careful!  I just found your wallet and was trying to figure out who you were, that’s all!”

“Coulda said that from the start,” I huffed, clutching the license protectively.  A tiny bit of hot soup had sloshed out and scalded my thigh, and I was trying to hide my pain.

I looked down at the license, and my picture stared back at me.  It was a small bit of familiarity, reassurance that I wasn’t actually going insane.

After some hesitation I opened my mouth to reply, but the sound of footsteps caused us both to look up.  A stocky middle aged man with salt-and-pepper hair had stopped in the doorway.  He was wearing a white lab coat, so I assumed he had to be the doctor.

“Ah!  So she’s awake at last.  Thanks for the help, Vash.”

The blond rubbed the back of his neck.  “Heh, it’s no trouble.”

“How are you feeling, miss?” the doctor asked, turning his gaze on me.

“Um, I’ve seen better days… but I’m holding up okay.”

“Well, I’ll mark that as an improvement,” he replied, smiling.  “Vash, may we have a moment?  I’m sure Felicia would be happy for a hand in the kitchen.”

“Oh—of course!  Right away, Doc!”

I watched as the blond straightened up and was out the door in record time, a dopey grin on his face.  It didn’t take a genius to notice that he had been a little too excited there.  Felicia was probably pretty, whoever she was.

The doctor chuckled, shaking his head.  “For someone who bears the namesake of such a dangerous outlaw, he sure is predictable.”

“You don’t believe he’s really Vash?”

He snorted.  “Do you?”

“Well…”

“Don’t fret over it, in any case.  He was kind enough to bring you here from the desert, after all.”  He paused a moment, frowning.  “I’m sorry, I’m forgetting my manners.  My name is Stanley Ross; I run the clinic here on the east end of Octovern.”

“My name is Brittany Furness,” I said, subtly tucking my driver’s license under the sheets of my bed.  “I’m sorry for the trouble.  My memory’s still a little messed up…”

“That’s to be expected.  You were showing early signs of heat stroke when that young man brought you in.”

He reached over to press the back of his hand to my forehead.  “Your temperature has stabilized since, but I’d still advise you to take it easy for a few days.  I’d like to monitor you for another twenty-four hours just to be safe.”

I stared at the soup in my lap.  That was probably good, considering I literally had nowhere else to go…

A hand on my shoulder.  I looked over to see the doctor giving me a sympathetic smile.

“Don’t worry too much.  You’re still recovering; I’m sure things will seem much clearer by tomorrow morning.”

Feeling dread settle in the pit of my stomach, I forced myself to smile back.  “Thanks… you’re probably right.”

We chatted for another minute while he checked my vitals and made sure I really was okay, and then he left me to finish my bowl of soup, which was now growing lukewarm.

My hands were shaking enough that it took some concentration to spoon the broth into my mouth.  I felt a strange mixture of emotions, though most of all I figured I was disoriented and in some degree of shock.

I thought about the life I had abandoned.  Wasn’t this what I had wanted—a complete change, a new start?

But I hadn’t asked to leave my entire world…

Even though I had shut down and left New Hampshire, all of my friends and family had been a phone call away.  I hadn’t wanted to turn back, but I could have if I needed to.  But now all of those options had been snatched from me and I felt like I was stranded…  

This couldn’t be real… this couldn’t really be happening.  How could this be happening?!

I put my head in my hands, but I had spent so much of the past month crying that I had no energy left to do even that.  When could I just catch a break…

—-

How can this be real?

Vash stood at the counter of the kitchen downstairs, methodically cutting vegetables for the doctor’s daughter.  Felicia was indeed cute—there was no doubt about that—but he really had just jumped at the opportunity to sort out his thoughts.

Well, there was also the fact that she was an absolute pro at acting oblivious to his flirting.  He’d mostly given up, but it was still entertaining to try every now and then.  For now he was happy to have a task to keep his hands busy while he tried to figure out just what mess he’d gotten himself into this time.

“Mr. Vash, are you feeling all right?” Felicia had stopped her task, seeming to take note of his silence.

He forced a cheery smile.  “Hmm?  Oh, yeah!  Heh, I guess it’s just been a long couple of days.”

“That’s for sure.  You’re the most interesting newcomers we’ve seen in a while.”  She returned the smile.  “Well, hopefully we can all sit down for dinner together tonight.  Could you dice these too?”

He took the carrots he was handed with a nod.  He knew his smile looked fake and she probably saw through it, but he was too tired to put up a good front.

Brittany Furness… who are you?

Vash trained his eyes on the cutting board once more, brow furrowing.  The young woman’s meagre belongings were safely stored in a cabinet in the room he was renting.  He had gone through them in an effort to find some sort of information about who she was and where she had come from.  The more he had looked, the more confused he had become.

That ID card in her wallet had her name, photo and what looked like an address… but the address named a town he had never heard of.  The corner of the card read “NH – USA” in bold letters.

There was currency in the wallet that read “UNITED STATES OF AMERICA,” as well as other plastic cards bearing her name.

There was a red pen in the purse with the name of an inn written on the side and the words “Jackson, New Hampshire”.

And there was a strange rectangular device with a screen in the purse as well—he had been shocked to see the screen come to life when he pressed the button on the front.  It had displayed a time and date, and when he pressed the button again, it prompted him to input a passcode.

That in particular was advanced technology he hadn’t seen in a very, very long time… not since he was a child.  Which begged the question… who was that woman?

He remembered some of the books Rem had shown him a long time ago, books about her home, where all of the humans of this planet came from—a place called Earth.  Rem had been from a country called the United States.

And—he remembered.  Her hometown was a place called Juneau, in the state of Alaska.  That was why the girl’s shirt had stirred something in him.  He had been so fascinated with the book about Alaska and its dramatic, dreamlike landscapes and cool nicknames, like “the last frontier” and “land of the midnight sun”.  Back on the SEEDs ship, it had seemed impossible that such a land could exist… and it was infinitely amazing that Rem had grown up there.

But Project SEEDS had been formed because Earth’s resources had been depleted… and its creation had occurred nearly two centuries ago.  Was Earth even habitable anymore?

No—unless… unless one of the cold sleep pods had survived the crash, and she had only just now woken up?

He shook his head.  That didn’t explain that handheld device she had.  There was no way it could’ve survived this long and powered up so easily.  And why would someone have boarded a SEEDS ship dressed and equipped like they were just going for a quick outing?  None of it made sense.  She was a mystery.  

What a nightmare… with Knives on the loose, he didn’t want to get involved with anyone.  But there was no way he could just ignore this.  It was too dangerous for her to be around him, but he might be the only one that could help her.

Damn.  He shouldn’t even be here right now.  But he needed to get information, and the city was the place to do it.

He paused in his task for a moment as another thought came to him.  Whatever the explanation… if Earth was all she remembered, how the hell did she know who he was, especially on sight alone?  

This just got more confusing by the second…