#its nothing new to cry about | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

adustoflove · 2 months ago

Text

This will always be a better option than arguing with people and attempting to control them. It's not great, but at least I can control myself by just leaving

#personal #now. I mean NOTHING to no one 🩷 I felt like this before anyway so #its nothing new to cry about #i always mean nothing to anyone and everyone else always just moves on as if I'm nothing regardless 💗#maybe I should just delete this blog too #I wish i could just do what 16 year old me did and constantly ask do you like them more than me #why do you need this many friends why do you need to constantly be around people #why do you do this then complain about it later and then talk super awesome of it even though you complain about it #why did you say this when it wasn't true #I wish I could say that your reminder that you can love more than one person just made me feel EVEN more #unloved somehow . like i thought you didnt EVEN love now all you do is talk to everyone always #you were the one with a bad outlook on life when we met. now youre super fucking happy because you just get to be around people all the tim #well good for you I guess. I'm not happy but im happy for you. I'll just be bitter forever in my own corner.#no amount of communication will ever fix how awful I fucking feel. and I feel like absolute shit either fucking way #and nothing can help. nothing will help. nothing. literally not one word is reassuring to me despite knowing they mean well #i trust none of it. especially because everyone in my life says one thing and then means or does another #this is probably the best solution for everyone atp

3 notes · View notes

thebirdandhersong · 3 months ago

Text

Lol

#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting #with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy #and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because #your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED #OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered #being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal #anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this #can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws #worries #and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please #also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up #in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite #but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying #you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents #but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents #not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up #that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY #you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard #i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation #and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far

21 notes · View notes

hecksupremechips · 2 years ago

Text

Ever think about Date’s view on family and how that relates to his character? When Mizuki asks him to define family, he just awkwardly offers that its like being blood related to someone. It leaves a bitter taste in his mouth and Mizukis, but like, he literally had no idea what a real family looks like. He’s an orphan, a man who grew up with no family and no name, but he doesn’t know that yet. He has no memory of his past, no way of knowing if there’s someone out there waiting for him to come home, if he even had a place to call home. His only frame of reference for a family is Mizuki and her parents. Deep down he knows it’s not right, not loving, but it fits the mold of a nuclear family, man and woman, blood related, so that must be what family is. When he’s asked to take in Mizuki, he’s absolutely clueless because he literally has zero frame of reference for how a child is supposed to be cared for. He puts distance between them because this isn’t his place, he doesn’t have the right to love this child as his own because he isn’t the real dad. There’s no place for someone like him in a family. And it’s baffling to him to hear that Mizuki not only loves him, she needs him because he is her family. Date believes he’s a nobody, just a sad, lonely man with no name who absolutely does not deserve this kind of love. But he has it anyway because he chooses it, he makes something that neither he nor Mizuki have ever had before. HES HOME

#aitsf #ai the somnium files #kaname date #mizuki date #just crying about the date family for the millionth time nothing new #also i just had this realization that like date literally had absolutely ZERO clue what he was doing #cuz its not like he remembers his own childhood so he cant use that as a frame of reference for how to treat his own child #and yet despite this he does a much better job than renju and shoko ever did just because he like. actually loves mizuki lol #honestly kinda fucking insane that date was asked to take care of her instead of hitomi #like renju has a choice between his long term friend who hes really close with and who he knows has lots of experience in childcare #versus his silly friend who lives in the smallest apartment with tons of debt and has literally never seen a baby before #then again thats probably why he didnt choose hitomi cuz he probably wanted to keep mizuki separate from the family he actually cares about #also for meme purposes its just like date is like wow renju youre literally the worst dad ever #and renju is like well okay hotshot if you think its so easy then how about you raise my daughter asshole #and date is like okie and does a significantly better job at it #i love kaname date so fucking much you guys will never understand what we have 😩

171 notes · View notes

dreamyintersexouppy · 12 days ago

Note

sending love to all head mates with complex relationships to the body, language isn’t build to adequately describe our senses of identity and that’s fucking rough sometimes! However y’all choose or opt out of labels, I respect your choices!

thank you! but i think that's the thing about it, tma/tme (from how i understand it novas a good explainer but idk if im a good rememberer) isn't opt in or out, it just describes something that exists already, and while my identity as a boy is real queer how i get treated while fronting is still more affected by how people see the body. it feels like a tma if you don't know me/don't know im fronting and tme if you do but even that seems strange (nova says: that sounds like just tme to me cuz of the opportunity to opt out but it could be more complicated). i think the language is good but i also think it matters more to me to be an ally to nova and all my transfem friends than to think forever about where i sit in a framework that wasn't made to benefit me. in the end that stuff is for trans women and as funny as the joke of boy headmate in tma body is i think my position as boy headmate makes me not the authority on actual meaningful discussion

#hihi nova tags i think it's rly good to question the language with this stuff tho #like it really is a framework based in describing experiences connected to medical gender assignment which is useful for us #but i think this question is more associated with a question about how systems work #like when a split happens do the new headmates share experiences imposed on them because of their gender assignment and tma/tme status #beforehand?#depending on how memories get divided up it can change the answer to that #like green said the language is good i think a lot of the confusion #especially from the people who used this silly point to argue against transfeminism for a bit a while back #is more an indicator that we don't know how systems really work on a wider scale #we can have idividual experiences described but i've yet to see studies that actually try to treat headmates like people and study their #social behaviors and situations #and if there are any then the knowledge isn't widespread enough for me to know about it #but i think its a really interesting question!!! less for 'whose side am i on' type stuff and more for personal understanding #greens my friend and i wanna understand him and i know he wants to understand himself so having a better theoretical framework for un system #s could help that and would probably answer a lot of these questions of intersectionality that seem like grey areas #also yea that post rules it's more of a really funny joke than a meaningful discussion so this is a lotta rambling over nothing #but that's my favorite thing ever sooo #anyway i'm gonna cry rereading what green said omg he's so lovely #getting to see him mature from when i met his has been fucking magical he's such a wonderful thoughtful person #i'm so happy to share a headspace and a life with him!!!!!#i know i don't talk abt my headmates a lot but #aaaaaaaa #love you man

10 notes · View notes

devilbarista · 4 months ago

Text

the only people with money around here to buy a freaking cybertruck are farmers which is embarrassing bc that is certainly not a farmer truck. the big spotless lifted white brand new Fords were bad enough. for my non Central California friends, you have to understand that the farmers around here are rich business men who exploit undocumented people to do all their work. they have massive (Republican) political power too. we hate farmers here LOL there's a difference between Farmers and farm workers

#i see pro-farmer posts on here about how its like the last true noble profession #and its like.....maybe in other states #its very much industrialized and full of exploitation here in California #like most businesses are its nothing new #but its extra nefarious bc they whine and cry about how theyre growing our food #meanwhile theyre really growing water intensive almonds #to sell overseas #while we're in a drought #I HATE FARMERS!!!!!!!#txt

10 notes · View notes

princesshair · 2 months ago

Text

.

#we're all feeling so much and this may sound selfish but i need to vent #i feel a bit alone rn with all of this #i mean i always knew i was alone but this is just confirming it all to me #everyone in my life knows how much one direction and the boys mean to me #i dont hide from anyone at all #and most of my irl “friends” (dont even know if they can be called friends)#didnt even come to me to say something #and i know most of them saw the news #idk it just feels like it doesnt matter #and also my parents #they truly never cared aabout my likes #cant even properly name the boys even tho im always talking about them #my dad came into my room and saw me crying #and was all “what happened?” and my brother told him #he's only reaction was to say “really?” and the he left #didnt say a word to me at all #later my mom got home and i think my dad told her i was crying #so she came to my room and she at least showed a bit more interest #and asked me about it and who it was and everything #i was crying talking to her and she didnt even give me a hug #idk i felt alone again #i didnt really expect a hug from my dad but i did from my mom #and i got nothing #its like my feelings about anything matter #anyway sorry if its selfish #its just another thing making me feel sad on top of everything else #personal

5 notes · View notes

deathxproof · 1 year ago

Text

Susan Foreman, Abandonment Issues && The Past Haunting John Banville / Nicola Yoon / Franz Kafka in a letter to his father / Hera Lindsey Bird / Franz Kafka in a letter to his father(words changed, for some reason) / Eula Biss / Rainer Maria Rilke / Michael Cunningham / Richey Edwards / @ ghostheavens / The End of the F***ing World / Valeria Luiselli / Phoebe Bridgers / Katherine Fabrizio / Lang Leav / Emily Palermo / Vicente Aleixandre / Lyra Wren / Ocean Vuong / Haruki Murakami / Richard Siken

#a quick and fun little web weaving game before bed that I DEFINITELY DIDNT CRY OVER WHILE MAKING !!!!#character; susan foreman #about; susan foreman #god. GOD. It’s 2 AM. I am unwell about this tonight. I am. oh Susan. in my feelings about her w the Doctor and w (or w/o) the Master.#retroactively knowing that your grandfather was making what he thought was the best choice for you & abandoning + traumatizing you for life #somewhat knowing the feeling after you become a very clueless parent. wanting to do right by your family.#only for your other father figure(that you maybe don’t even realize is him) to kill your husband. the one guy truly grounding you-#-to your new life. and then shortly after your grandfather comes back for a bit. is an influence on your youngest kid.#he gets himself killed trying to be like his granddad. no. you don’t want to travel with him again after that.#you have to be there for your family and also it hurts to see him— but then your kids also want nothing to do with you now that they can-#-see you #you decide that its best to isolate yourself for like. an ungodly amount of time. for your hearts and somehow for other people.#it doesn’t help.#musings !

38 notes · View notes

just-spacetrash · 4 months ago

Text

🤭

#aaaaaaa i rly know how to pick my interests huh #im watching sentinel again #its so funny its so funnnn #once again we got an ep with a new Sexy Mysterious Mystery woman whos just so sexy and mysterious #and im OBSESSED with these fucking. corny 90s fade to black slo-mo sex music with sparkle sound effects and cheesy synths we get #and obviously more background characters with one ear pierced #im getting fashion influenced tbh im gonna start wearing just one earring because of this stupid fucking show #its just. such a nothing show in the grand scheme of things i dont rly know who to talk to about it #i dont have anything profound to say about it i just find immense joy in watching these stupid repetitive episodes #my post #YES this is like my hundredth 'my post' about sentinel what of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#all of them have these stupid corny one liners like all the time im gonna cry #im losing my MIND im trapped in a CAGE #its this🤏 close that ill just start pacing around my room talking about this stupid show out loud to myself #why??????????? i didnt choose this life #if heaven is real its just me getting to explain episode plots one after another

4 notes · View notes

uglyf4wn · 5 days ago

Text

i despise fireworks so much and the ppl who use them.... it would be against the rules to describe what i'd like to happen to them so i cant say..... but i truly from the bottom of my heart despise fireworks and ppl who use them.