#jesus christ youre selfish arent you

[catboysalmon]

The fucking DEMONS

[dead-loch]

I cannot fucking believe americans allowed this to happen again. jesus fucking christ. thank you for dooming the entire fucking world for your own selfishness. unbelievable. WHY ARENT MORE OF YOU QUESTIONING WHY THE FUCK AN ‘ELECTORAL COLLEGE’ IS MAKING MASSIVE DECISIONS IN YOUR NAMES? did you not learn your fucking lesson last time? holy fuck.

[cryptic-science]

LONG VENT POST. BE WARNED.

i need help. i need help cleaning my room. i do. and ive been so fucking afraid to admit that but i fucking need someone to hold my hand and be gentle with me through the process.

but no, i cant. i cant ask for help, especially not from the person i want help from the most. i cant ask because im not a little kid anymore. i cant have someone hold my hand through everything. thats not how life fucking works. im almost 19. im an adult. i should have the fucking responsibility to keep my bedroom clean.

when was the last time it was actually properly clean ? it must have been what, like, 2018 ? 2019 ? fuck. Fuck. four ? five ? fucking years. almost six, really. jesus christ.

even if she did say yes, even if i could ask her in the first place...you know she wouldnt be gentle. you know she would yell and get annoyed and force you to get rid of things you arent ready to. and youd feel trapped, and scared, and oh so fucking ashamed and guilty. and youd cry and cry and cry and cry. youd sob and youd beg, just like the little girl you are.

she doesnt ask much of you. she never has. you know this. everyone knows this. you never really had to do chores as a kid. not properly anyway. right now, all she wants you to do is get a job and clean your room.

why is this still so hard for you ?she got you what you needed right ? she got you the anti-depressants. she got you the adhd meds. she got you the autism diagnosis. so why are you still like this ? the meds are working, arent they ? why are you still Wrong ? what else could you possibly fucking need ??

all you do is take. and take. and take. you are so fucking selfish. why arent you fixed yet ? why cant you get off your ass and clean your fucking room ? why cant you get off your ass and get a fucking job ? why do you still lack the motivation ?

you are lazy. you are lazy. you are lazy.

how can you live like this ? there is garbage piled next to your bed. there are molding cups on your dresser. there are both carpet and larder beetles squirming through your things.

you have too much shit. you get too attached. maybe you are a hoarder.

you are disgusting. you are filthy.

your hygiene doesnt help either. you changed today but when was the last time those clothes were washed ? when was the last time you showered ? when was the last time you brushed your teeth ? you are vile. you are filth.

she yells because she loves you. she yells because she loves you. she yells because she loves you.

shes been through so fucking much. you know this. everyone knows this. you could have had it so much worse.

she is not the villain. she is human. you realized she was human a long time ago. shes doing her best with what she knows.

would it be easier if you moved out ? you are too scared to do that. maybe, itd be easier to clean your room, though. she doesnt want you to leave either. you know that despite the times shes threatened to kick you out. shes too scared for you to go too. you cant live with her forever. you know this. she does to. shes said that phrase to you many times. you are too scared to leave. you cant handle change. its safe here. youve been here for so long. its familiar. its close to most of the important places you need to go. it took you such a long time to be able to memorize the paths in order to get to them. you cant drive. everything is perfect here. its safe. its safe. its safe.

the pear tree was cut down. it was planted long before you ever lived there. part of you thinks that maybe its a sign. you arent too sure for what, though.

you are trying not to cry. you dont want to cry. especially not right now.

she says she doesnt think you are a disappointment, but how can that be true when all youve done, your whole entire life, is dissapoint her ? you have failed at every expectation and want she had, and still has, for you.

you were born this strange and rotten thing.

but she still loves you.

and you love her too.

you need a job. you should be using this time to look for a job. you are scared. you need to stop putting it off. you need to stop lying whenever she asks if youve been looking. youve applied to a few places but, you only got hired once. and you quit after a day and a half. it was Too Much for you. you were scared and your body hurt and the job was too fast-paced and it was all so fucking overwhelming. so you ran from it. you gave up.

because you are a coward.

you can count on one hand the amount of interviews youve actually gotten.

why is this so hard for you ? why must there be so fucking much wrong with you ?

just do something, please. anything. any job you can get your hands on. you need it.

why arent you doing it ? why ??

you want to be better. you want so fucking badly to be better, in so fucking many ways.

you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better. you wish you were better.

i want to learn how to be better.

i dont know how to be better.

i dont know where to start.

i dont know.

help.

[womenfrommars]

“But what about the icky nasty kinksters 🥺” bitch, women are literally going to die because of abortion bans and all you can think about is moral grandstanding. “If you don’t agree with me ur not a feminist cause that means your prokink 😡” I don’t have the time or energy to give a single rip about imaginary freaks right now because I LIVE SOMEWHERE WHERE IM ABOUT TO HAVE LESS BODILY AUTONOMY THAN A CORPSE! My state already has shit abortion laws and it’s about to get infinitely worse. You don’t even live here. I don’t care what county you “meant” to be talking about, abortion conversations got a whole lot more busy in the past two days because SCOTUS decided that women do not have the right to their own internal organs. You are distracting from the conversation. I don’t want to hear anti-abortion sentiments from some cunt who lives in a country who has abortion rights. Omfg, you live somewhere with better abortion laws than my state has EVER had. The sheer amount of privilege your shit take comes from is fucking unbelievable. You have the privilege to worry about stupid stuff like imaginary kinksters. Most women don’t!! THERE ARENT EVEN EXCEPTIONS FOR RAPE OR INCEST, WHICH ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO PROVE ANYWAY AND UTTERLY USELESS. I can have literally everything taken away from me if some scrote decides to rape me. I could fucking die if that happened and it wouldn’t matter. There are politicians advocating for not even aborting when the pregnancy is ectopic. You can be arrested and charged for miscarrying!!! And all you care about are freaks on reddit????? I never want to hear this shit from another “feminist” ever again. You can take your opinion and shove it up your ass. This is literally the worst take I’ve seen from radblr. It’s sick and disgusting that you thought this was a good thing to post in the first place and even worse that you keep defending your wholly anti-feminist take. Jesus christ, what a lack of empathy or compassion for other women. It’s so fucking selfish. And I haven’t even acknowledged that most of the reproductive rights we have at all could be rolled back, including all birth control which btw is the only thing keeping me from bleeding out once a month, because they hinge on roe v. wade and all the privacy laws that influenced. It’s not even just womens rights, since I know you don’t care about those! Roe v. wade has so much resting on it and they are just taking it away like it’s nothing. We didn’t even get to elect these people and we have no way to influence them. This is shit that started before I was even born. They know what they are about to do is unpopular with the majority of the American public but they don’t care. We are losing +50 years of progress in a second and you only care about the “wrong” kind of woman getting an abortion. There is no hope here. I hope a meteor takes out my entire country tomorrow. I want it all wiped off the face of the earth. I’d be happier if everyone here was dead. I’d be happier dead. I hope the entire SCOTUS spontaneously drops dead. We’re all going to let this happen and no one will care. I don’t want to hear another stupid take about abortion and I wish everyone who disagrees with me would die. I’m so fucking tired. An old high school classmate messaged me saying he wants to rape me because I was vocally pro-choice and he wants to punish me. I’m sure other women here are getting the same kinds of threats. These are my internal organs!! I should have the right to my internal organs!!! Always! Idc even if a woman had consensual sex and got pregnant, she still has the rights to her own insides!!! If you have nothing useful to say then just stay quiet. No one asked you about how you felt about the “morality” of abortion. What a stupid thing to try and answer in the first place. No one wanted your dog-shit opinion.

Anon please get help. I'm not even saying this for snarky Internet clout. I really do believe you need professional help

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

is everyone just... selfish? i've been trying to urge my friends to use my preferred pronouns and it backfires every time. am i expecting too much? it feels like they arent even trying. they're all cis so they'll never know what its like and i feel so alone.

(i may or may not have blocked all of them and deactivated the rest of my social media and made a playlist with people, set me free and dear my friend on loop)

(edited with follow up) Get new friends.

I'm serious. It is not that hard. You are not expecting too much. There's a difference between accidentally forgetting and being a disrespectful idiot. Cis or not, friends will take steps to remember and make the change.

If someone tells you their pronouns changed, do so promptly and without question. It took them a lot to even tell you in the first place. It's not your business what their reasons are. Doesn't matter what they look like currently or how they present themselves. Correct yourself when you make a mistake and when they correct you, apologize and remember for next time.

-

follow up:

right??? i tried talking to one of them and JESUS FUCKING CHRIST what the actual shit is wrong with them? i told them my pronouns weren't on there for like,,, fun and that i needed people to use them. and THEY LITERALLY SAID I DONT NEED PEOPLE TO ACCEPT ME??

I MEAN YALL ARE NOT JUST ANY EPOPLE???? U GUYS ARE MY friends ??

F

R

I

E

N

D

S

NOT strangers NOT someone on the fucking street.

i mean if u WANTED to excuse ur ability to not accomodate, you couldve jsut told me on the face bestie i wouldve not minded honesty.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?

What the fuck is that supposed to mean, you don't need people to accept you? Oh, okay, so what if you started referring to all of them as fuckin' donkeys, and that's honestly being mean to the donkey in doing so, like shit

(I know it's childish but what in the actual FUCK)

Yeah, get new friends, these people are trash and they most certainly are NOT your friends for saying such careless, foolish things.

-

and another one! XD

considering i was abt to do stupid shit to myself when i saw the friends messages, u made me LAUGH LMAO THANK YOUU i thought i was being crazy there for a second but NO THEYRE ACTUALLY JUST NOT GOOD thank you ur awesome

You are certainly not crazy, absolutely ridiculous for someone to think they can be your friend and say something like, "you don't need people to accept you" when all it is is simply using a different word to refer to you.

That's it.

Is that so difficult?

???

[pjinthestreets]

i am saying this to myself no one read my cringe bleach postcanon

ok but this is what goes down though: renji+rukia marriage. im just saying it happens. im just saying ichigo and orihime would come? come on they saved Da Soul Socielty like seven times they can RSVP. fuckin

momo comes too obviously.. obviously kira is invited and stuff but hes zombifried and not exactly the life of the party no one rly wants him there and he does not want to go. not actly important if he shows up but i Do think the angst factor would be tastey like if hes on the side like conspicuously Just Standing There. alright ive Shown My Face gotta go :|

momo also on da side like hm yep lovely shindig let me just :) have one more drink :) tee hee lovely party guys! im crying because im just very happy for the happy couple GOTTA LOVE IT OK ILL BE OUTSIDE GETTING SOME AIR

orihime outside Actually getting air (lotta people she barely knows carousing and being. You Know.) like o hi uhh Miss. (FUCK I KNOW IVE SEEN HER BEFORE WHAT WAS HER NAME UHHH) Hows it going? Oh my god shes crying GIRL CRYING ALERT SUPPORTIVE MODE ACTIVATED

momo, kinda tipsy and a little bit totally miserable: no its fine its nice! i just kind of pictured things differently you know! i should be happy for them! but i keep thinking about how i was gonna get married someday. selfish right

orihime: :( babe no. come here. sweetheart. youre beautiful theres lots of time to find love! besides arent shinigami like immortal? :)? the right person is out there for you i promise!

momo, definitely tearing up now: no its not that i actually had someone. but like. thats the problem lol

orihime: ???

orihime: oh god. :( thats so sad i

hang on

like still alive type corpse? like has part of his own reiatsu still intact type walking around making everyone uncomfortable type ohhhh yeah actually that sounds like. a solveable problem to me

momo: ?!?!?!!!?!?!?!?!?!

orihime: yeah man if you can get him to consent i can almost definitely revive him with my godlike powers. nobody seems to remember this but i am almost the most powerful guy in this narrative

kira an indeterminate amount of time later: i dont rly see how this is going to improve things for my actual. utility as a killing machine. which is all i am good for etc etc sad boy noises

momo, clinging to sanity by a fucking shred at this point: shut the fuck up and get good dude you cannot imagine the stress this situation has put me under

orihime: cool alright let me juuuuust

kira: OH GOD IM ALIVE JESUS CHRIST I CAN FEEL EVERYTHING

momo: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

rose, like 25 miles away: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mayuri, who definitely just lost a pet project and is prepared to argue intellectual property rights AFTER taking it out in Blood: what are u doing with my personal property i fuckin made that thing >:(

rose, finally getting a chance to use that sweet sweet bankai that got like 2 panels of airtime: you know for some reason it didnt occur to me until just now that someone else could do your job :) die :)

* le epic battle* [30+ episodes (colloquially known as the ‘mayuri eats shit forever’ arc)]*

downside to this is we may never get that sweet hoodie look on izuru. im gonna hazard that a guy who kinda gets his power and entire like character scheme from themes of despair, pain, and disempowerment mayyyy be cheated out of a bankai by this move. but it is simply the sacrifice we will have to make for the constantly-shafted-side-characters-get-their-happy-ending (and, can’t emphasize this enough, mayuri eats shit and dies forever) arc

[littlebabycrybtch]

anyways, autistic adult here going out to all the autism parents out there;;; stop fucking bragging about abusing your autistic kids. i lived through my autistic childhood, you havent, you need to hear me out. stop posting your horrible ‘inspirational stories’ about how happy you are that you ‘pushed through’ and did something awful and distressing to your child in an effort to make them normal. it is so harmful and so disgusting for autistic people to have to hear about. those stories make me wanna gag. they give me physical discomfort, the way these people are so... Proud of themselves, for thinking they are ‘eradicating’ these evil autism symptoms, like the symptoms arent just an inherent fucking PART of their child they destroyed out of blind ignorant ‘care’. fucking listen to yourself. you did not help them. i dont care that they learned some new (usually unnecessary and performative) neurotypical skill you had been pushing on them for years. i dont care how fuzzy inside that makes you feel. i dont care about whatever you come up with that proves their ‘progress’. no. you were projecting your frustrations. you were pressuring them into smth they didnt need. you didnt Fucking help them. you made them Conform. you Hurt them to make them act like everyone else, bc you let yourself become that convinced that their autism is whats damaging them, and not the outside world that tries to dismantle what they are on the daily, for no fucking REASON besides irrationally projecting your own standards and ideals onto them. the ‘cure’ for autism is not ‘acting normal’, for gods sake. you Punished them for being autistic instead of accepting it and accommodating them. frankly, no matter your real intention, its selfish.

like. im sorry but im livid, i am TIRED of seeing this kind of shit encouraged everywhere. forcing your kid into meltdowns unless it is a 110% safety concern, is abuse and disability discrimination, especially when you are trying to force them to be ‘normal’ by punishing them in these awful prejudiced ways until they meet YOUR idealized standards of functioning and ‘quality of life’, which is self centered for gods sake! like! nah man actually im totally fine with some of my symptoms if you people would just leave me the fuck alone about it??? i like stimming, i like special interests, my ‘sensory issues’ can become blissful when i find the right sensory experience, my struggle to communicate has given me so many beautiful Alternatives and connected me with so many people. im fucking fine, i dont always need to bend to you, you can bend to me sometimes, okay? like. smh, neurotypicals/abled people, society revolves around you, sure, but that doesnt mean someone being Different from you makes them the wrong or unhealthy one... they can be Perfectly happy even though they dont live the way you do, and to think otherwise is again, just really self centered. why are you the default? why is YOUR HAPPINESS with YOUR LIFE the default standard??? someone being different from you doesnt always mean their existence automatically Pains them, or that its Lesser or Worse. accommodation and understanding does a hell of a lot better for somebody than trying to just force them to act how you do under the ignorant assumption that it Must be inherently better for them and their existence. “but- things would be easier for them if they were normal right! thats just how the world is!” cool. but they arent. listen to me. They Arent. just fucking accept that, and focus on fixing the obviously bigger issue, the whole ‘WORLD’ part that rejects everything abnormal, jesus christ. like honestly, thats the worst part about being ‘abnormal’, how the outside world fucking treats you. its how they wont fucking let you exist and wont get off their ass to try and understand or support you, without conditions that include ‘copy me as best as you can so its easier for me’. the worst part is that the people who ‘support’ you view that support as wittling you into something less difficult for them to ‘help’ at the expense of your fucking basic comforts or happiness, and they still think theyre doing you a noble favor by making you like themselves. ffs. guys. stop abusing your kids. stop.

“well guys, my autistic kid wouldnt stop pissing themselves so i just stopped buying diapers and made them sit on the toilet for 6 hours, and guess what, they use the toilet the Right way now! :)” “my kid wouldnt hug me or say i love you, so i held them down on the bed till they stopped fighting my affection! now we hug all the time!” “i took away my childs favorite item until they were able to verbally ask for it back. now they know how to say “please”. they must be SO much happier!” i need for you to listen to me right now. you are not fixing them. you are not HELPING THEM. you are breaking them into your neurotypical life like a pair of fucking tennis shoes. its for you. you are conditioning them, with trauma. the fact that you dont see that is a Disturbing display of how little you actually are trying to understand about your child’s life, or frankly anybody elses experiences besides yours. Leave them the fuck alone. you really wanna help your autistic kid fit into the world? dont punish them for stimming, tell ppl in public to stop fucking staring, bc it is their fucking problem. dont force your type of affection or communication, pay some fuckin attention and you’ll start noticing the ways in which THEY communicate with you, which is just as fine. and for the love of god my dude! buy diapers! they exist for a reason! just buy your fucking child their fucking diapers. ill kick your ass oh my God, 

[swampgallows]

twitter and tumblr et al are all so self-congratulatory for ‘having conversations’ about mental illness and neurodiversity and trauma but it all seems like it’s only for the sake of self-diagnosis instead of recovery. which like obviously im not the first person to bring up the anti-recovery mindset on social media (and i sure better not be the last) but like im not really fuckin interested in how many of my eight billion idiosyncrasies are actually ‘symptoms’ of ptsd or anxiety or adhd or whatever the fuck. i wanna know what you expect people to fuckin do about it. what’s the step AFTER diagnosis? just being able to reblog/retweet Posts and go “OMG this is SO me”???? a diagnosis is not just an answer, but meant to be a new step. ‘i have this, so now how to do i manage it?’ 

i recently watched a lecture from a pediatrician about how severe the overlap is between ptsd symptoms and adhd symptoms, how the two are comorbid, how they are exacerbated and/or misdiagnosed in children of color, and how, ultimately, the two can be so similar in their behavioral symptoms to the point of being indistinguishable. which is why dr. brown later suggests that it is more important than ever to begin screening for trauma in childhood, as well as screening for adhd more for girls and children of color. why? because the root cause affects the treatment. e.g. hyperactivity due to trauma (hypervigilance) is not physically manifested in the same way as with autism or adhd even though behaviorally it is quite similar. therefore medication administered to patients for hyperactivity from adhd can have a drastically negative affect on patients with ptsd, even though they are meant to treat the same issue. it is in treatment that diagnosis matters most, not just the merit of diagnosis in and of itself.

a diagnosis itself is not a treatment. getting a diagnosis (or self-dxing) just to make zero alterations to your life or behavior and instead rest on the laurels of “having an answer” (or excuse!) is not treatment. it is your first step to treatment. this is also why diagnoses can change or sometimes, as our understanding of treatment and science and psychology grows and develops, they can be eliminated entirely (see: all subsets of schizophrenia pre-DSM5, “ADD”, etc.). 

mostly im just fuckin mad seeing these posts over and over or hearing from my peers about trauma but nobody can seem to tell me a single fucking thing i can do about it, including my therapist (who offered oh-so-helpful suggestions like “picture yourself as someone doing something other than what youre doing right now, just believe it's possible” [direct from my therapy notes]). if i hadnt done my own research to discover treatments like EMDR or even fringe controversial experimental shit like mdma and ketamine therapy and had to rely on social networks and shit therapists, id be stuck in a goddamn loop of meditation and yoga and pity party posting online. it’s just so fucking frustrating that this information is so hard to find and that trying to recover, even among peers who are also suffering from the same thing, feels like a solitary burden. it is very annoying when people say ‘you’re not alone’, but they only mean in diagnosis and not in recovery.

i keep trying to tell my therapists that i am done discovering “why” i have trauma. i understand acutely that i have it, and i want to know how to move on and grow from it. but all they keep telling me over and over is to just sit with my feelings, or imagine myself being different than how i am now, offering no tangible way for me to bridge that gap. things like red flags for avoiding the trappings of abusive relationships, or recognizing ‘green flags’ for healthy relationships, or figuring out how to establish proper emotional boundaries (and why boundaries are necessary, and that having boundaries is not selfish or greedy) are all things i learned on my own from my own research. i have had to be my own advocate through everything and it is FUCKING EXHAUSTING. throughout three different therapists i have taught them more about what i am going through than they taught me. and so it becomes very hard to trust in these people when they still believe shit studies from 20 years ago like “ecstasy puts holes in your brain and you can become permanently psychotic after doing it JUST ONCE!!111″  i know humans arent perfect but jesus fucking christ. 

[choco-style]

lately I’ve found myself mind yelling “shut the fuck up” more than usual and I don’t know who to talk to because there’s nothing anyone can do to stop it, I just have to wait to go to school and feel better, which is crazy because the general opinion on school is “god I hate it I just wanna go home” and that’s what I used to think too when I was in my awful 5-8 grade class

and it’s not just real life people I want to shut up, I feel like I’m getting more defensive and my favourite creators are getting called all kinds of things by people who claim to have the higher moral ground (or whatever you call it), when they themselves wish terrible things upon people who have either done nothing wrong, or who have apologized for everything they did wrong. and it’s 99% on tumblr. now I understand why no one fucking likes this site.

and I’m back again in this state where “I wanna go home” doesn’t at all refer to the actual apartment, but to a mentally happy place. and it sounds edgy when your brain says I wanna go home I wanna go home I wanna go home I wanna go home please shut the fuck up

this isn’t even that bad and it’s nothing serious and I don’t know how I feel about all this I just needed to let it out and tumblr is where I can write longass “diary entries” and very few people who I care about will read them, and if someone has a problem with them I don’t give a single shit about their feelings and I hope they get the help they need to not turn into a shitty person or worse.

ive also been kinda mean??like not quite but kinda??? i dont know i just feel like i peaked and now im just kinda there. but im not even in the neutral empty doorway kind of state, its like now im in the room but idk what i wanna do and i need to pee but theres no toilet and im just there. like how dreams feel sometimes,,,,, idk aaagh

during the first 5 days of the week i look forward to the weekend because that keeps me happy and good and nice but then the weekend is the worst part of every week and i look forward to going to school, and now i wont even have this escape because this is the last week were going to school this decade and i have to breathe the same air and hear the same sounds as my family and i dont want to, i wanna go to school and be distracted and plan out my evenings and mornings when im basically alone. or something. i dont know what im talking about. i just dont want winter break. i dont wanna talk to my family when theyre all together. whenever theres even two people from my family in the same room i feel like i want to cry and i end up wishing id made plans or something, anything just to be somewhere else. 

youtube videos arent working anymore. or they are, but not really. i can block out the sound partially but i can still hear other people. and i think its normal but also fucked up. “what is?” well thanks for asking, me in “ “s, having these people argue so much is common but fucked up, having to stop whatever ur doing just to check whether or not a family member is crying, only to find out theyre laughing, is fucked up but maybe common. wanting to be home alone is common and not fucked up i think. going into a mental crisis because youre in this eternal circle of being sad - amplifying it because ur an attention whore - realising ur an attention whore - instead of stopping, u amplify THIS to feel absolutely terrible except not really because its not real or is it - now ur making urself look like the victim of realising ur not the victim. jesus fucking christ u stop thinking about it and it happens again a while later. just shut the fuck up, me. shut the fuck up. make my brain shut the fuck up,  i would literally probably cry happy tears if someone could make me shut the fuck up forever. or maybe i wouldnt but right now i feel like im gonna cry thinking about it. or its just placebo. or not placebo, the negative one. or idk. maybe i was right the first time i dont know. and now my back hurts cuz im like a little bug or whatever im just writing like. reversed arched. i dont know how to explain it lmao. i dont wanna read this thiing ever again but i most likely will! yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! be happy lol u knwo the meme thats like cmon work. idk what it was but the reference is in my brain and i feel like i could use it. and now i sound weird. well not weird im just going thru the thing i explained earlier in this thing. but i wont write abt it im just gonna not think about it bc that seems to work really well. felt the need to add ^^ as if im talking to someone or maybe making my thoughts talk to me rn like how i would talk to someone irl lmao.theyve actually been silent for a while so idk.

id title this “if im being honest” to like show im trying to get my rthoughts out with no real filtering but aaah idk. i dont wanna do it bc the title would be like. bigger and semibold and itd draw attention to  it. i want this to not be read by people but maybe someone will. i have like 2 or 3 people in mind who would maybe maybe maybe read this but i dont know. its really not anything so you shouldnt read it. maybe someone could skim this. is that how you say it. also there is some filtering of my thoughts because i dont wanna name anyone im not looking for trouble i just wanna talk into the void and feel better and maybe this is really it. i do feel kind of relaxed now. my uhhh wrists, yeah thats what theyre fcalled, they kinda hurt and my fingers dont hurt but like, the joints are very,,,accentuated? but not like visually they just. i can conciously feel them? and my throat and kinda eyes? thats bc of almost kinda crying but lol idk. and like ive always hated accentuated feelings and i read this thing on wikipedia about sensory overload and idk if its a normal thing that happens like when something stings or hurts or if its a symptom of something or i dont know but ive always kinda joked about it and its also related to tics. ticks? ticks. tics. and its not really what im feeling rn but its a thing that happens sometimes. kind of. but like when u walk up the stairs and u feel ur right leg has been doing/making more effort pushing u up than ur left leg and u try to balance out the effort and it can be hurtful i guess bc if something like an eye or arm hurts u try to balance out the pain and that can be bad dont do that but like i can do it bc i wont do it in bad scenarios. i went off track lololol sorry

this is kind of what my mind speeches and discourses look like so yeah i hope this goes unnoticed or someone notices it and i can just say nah dude im good trust me because i am i think and u should maybe probably trust me bc usually i have it better than everyone i talk to online or in real life so its fine if u trust me because its nothing to worry about really. ur precious and u desrrve more attention than whatever this thingy is. take care of yourself. the only thing ur allowed to think about this post if u read it (or not but like sure), according to my selfish brain, is that oh wow its cool that u tried mimicking (??) ur thoufhts and id be lioke yeah haha i dont even know whats wriitten in here anymroe im cool like that hahahhahahhhhhhhahha hehe hoho hihi you know. so dont feel anything else than indifference and maybe admiration. i wouldnt say the former if this were something i put thought into but it isnt so enjoy! honesty. kinda.

[enixamyram]

Hey, guess what, I’ve found another screen rant I want to react to! I wasn’t planning to do any more but, reading through this article, I just have SO many problems with it... So Let’s do another, agree or disagree with a Screenrant article made by someone with no bias at all. (Sarcasm for the last part by the way.) So let’s see:

Agreed with this point. People act like, if the characters weren’t on screen then they disappeared or something. Maybe they were just living their own lives?

... I don’t even understand this article. Apparently this is 20 things people get wrong and this point is that the timeline can make sense, but then OP goes on to say “However, the more characters were introduced and the more worlds the characters ventured into, it became clearer and clearer that time didn't work the same way everywhere... However, in a world of fairytales, expecting anything more than that is simply asking too much. What does it matter, exactly, when some of these events took place as long as we know that they were a long time ago in a universe not at all like our own?”

Like, so that means this isn’t something people get wrong - the timeline DOESN’T make sense - so what the hell is it doing in this article? You can’t claim you’ve solved it just because you shrug and go “yeah but it’s magic so what do you expect?”

I mean the text directly conflicts the title/bullet point. Luckily I can still safely say I disagree, both with the title and the text because the timeline became f*cked, and just making an embarrassed shrugging face doesn’t change that.

I can’t even say disagree because this is just plain wrong! I don’t quite understand this writer. I can’t tell what they’re deal is, like did they just give a poor title to their article?

Season 1 - The Original Curse Season 2 - Belle and Sneezy lost their memories. Season 3 - Everyone lost a year. Season 5 - Camelot Season 6 - Emma lost her memories Season 7 - Another Curse.

Notice how I left out 4? Well this is where I’m getting confused because this is what OP had to say about Season 4: “While season four dabbled with alternate universes, memories were never wiped or reset in the way they were in every other season.”

... But their memories WERE wiped! They were essentially in a curse because their memories WERE wiped and they WERE given new identities just like the original curse. So yes, memory wipes did in fact happen every single season!

So I can’t agree or disagree because maybe some people do call Ruby a lesbian, but most everyone I talk to calls her bi... So I’ma just skip this one.

Note: She’s bi people. This is canon. If you don’t agree then tough shit.

Agreed, there’s plenty of other ways true love can be proven. TLK is probably just the most convenient, lol.

Kind of agree? I mean I think most people do know and acknowledge this but I guess it can sometimes escape people without realising in passing sentences?

This is true. It was a lame and terrible reveal that made no sense but it was revealed.

... Like, I’m getting confused again. Because this title either doesn’t fit or the writer lives under a rock because no one get’s this wrong! Everyone - rightfully - calls out Zelena for what she did. Even Zelena fans admit what she did was messed up!

... I do agree, I don’t think she made up for all the awful things she did and she definitely became “one of the team” way too quickly for my liking. (I’m hesitant because I suddenly have an idea what side of the fandom wrote this article and I can pretty much predict where it’s going.)

AND THERE IT IS!

DISAGREE.  DISAGREE. DISAGREE. DISAGREE. DISAGREE. DISAGREE.

“Nothing says good guy like being an older man who takes advantage of a young girl, impregnates her, and lets her go to jail for crimes you yourself committed.” First off, we don’t know his age. Second, he didn’t ‘impregnant’ her. She got pregnant. It takes two to tango though I doubt the writer knows this. And third, Emma went to jail for HER crimes. Sorry, dear writer, but let me just fill you in. Aiding and abetting a fellow criminal IS A CRIME! Emma did wrong and she was punished for it. I don’t necessarily agree with what Neal did but he is not responsible for where Emma ended up.

“Even further, nothing says good guy like someone who mocks the woman he allegedly loves for the years of trauma, suffering, and scars she endured as a result of your callous, selfish behavior.” ... WHEN?!

“... Neal Cassidy became more and more like the selfish, frequently malicious parents who raised him.” ... Again, WHEN?! Like seriously, selfish maybe but malicious?!

“In no world would he have been the right man for Emma or a good father to Henry because he could never accept accountability for any of his many wrongdoings.” Except, you know, Neal knew Henry all of five minutes and was already dedicated to being a great dad to him and literally was WAY better at being a father to Henry than Hook ever was to the kid. And I added the Hook part because my God, the writer of this article couldn’t be more obvious a CS shipper if they had every sentence end with swans and pirate flags.

It’s amazing how, even dead, they’re still threatened by Neal’s character.

Maybe this was true in S6, but by S7 they had clearly retconned it, making the Wish Realm a very real place. Otherwise there’s a ton of plot holes and you’ve got to be a real idiot to say you’d rather accept plot holes than that the Wish Realm might actually be real.

(Also, just saying, another terrible title because what happened to Emma and Regina when they were in the Wish Realm very much DID happen. So again, really poor titles for this article that clearly doesn’t know what it’s point is.)

... She VIOLATED everyone’s minds by erasing their memories and TRIED TO MURDER ZELENA!

She may have had good intentions but that doesn’t change the fact that she was a villain for a season! Dude, have you never heard the phrase “the road to hell was paved with good intentions”?! I’ll defend Emma turning Hook into a Dark One for sure, but trying to completely ignore the awful things she did?! Jesus Christ!

Again... What? OP... Everyone already KNOWS this. This article is meant to be things people gets wrong but, honestly, I think OP’s the only idiot who gets things wrong at this point. So I’m once again torn because I agree with the statement but I don’t agree that this is something people get wrong.

*Sigh* OP’s giving me a migraine. Not because their statement is incorrect, but because all their reasoning is!

“Regina, as we know, went back and forth to points outside of Maine many times during the preceding 28 years.” It was actually explained, by Regina herself to Hook in Season 2, that because she (and he) had no cursed memories, crossing the town line would not affect them.

“Greg and Tamara are also able to cross the town lines, with Greg even remembering the tiny town for years and years after a traumatic encounter within it during his childhood.” Again. The town line affects people who ARE CURSED! This is made very clear! Henry can also cross the town line when he went to get Emma.

The title, once again, is misleading. People are able to leave - so long as they don’t CROSS THE TOWN LINE. That’s the part CURSED people are not able to do.

I’ve given up Agreeing and Disagreeing at this point. OP’s points are making my brain hurt so let’s just move on.

You’re right OP. It did serve a purpose. It’s purpose was to be a cash grab!

Apparently OP’s excuse is that Anna and Elsa helped Emma come into her own as a magic user? Like yeah, I’m calling bullshit. Emma had no problem using her magic until they brought Frozen in, then they made a whole storyline of Emma having problems just to justify having Elsa struggle and then help her with it.

And after they left they were barely even mentioned. So, again. NO PURPOSE. (Apart from a cash grab.)

Okay, so actually, I do agree. Regina is still Henry’s mum but the fact is, his adoption can’t be legal because Regina would need to have lied on her application and all the usual checks usually done for people wanting to adopt couldn’t possibly have happened.

I was going to agree on technicality but you know what? No.

DISAGREE!

Just because the couples aren’t perfect doesn’t make them toxic. (Using OP’s examples:) “Robin's relationship with Regina results in his being repeatedly assaulted and fathering a child as a result of that assault.” Wow, dude, wait to blame the girlfriend for some of the bad stuff that happened in Robin’s life. I sure feel sorry for whoever you end up with if this is how you see it. “Hook and Emma frequently lie to one another as well,” Lying does not equal a toxic relationship! Certain lies, maybe, but general lying is just what people do when they’re embarrassed or ashamed or upset. What counts is what you’re lying about and also whether or not you come clean about it.

The only one I’ll agree with is RumBelle but even then OP completely misses the reason WHY they’re a toxic relationship. Instead they generalise it into very un-toxic details.

... Again... Like... I agree with the statement but NO ONE GETS THIS WRONG!

OP is clearly just using this article as an excuse to bash Regina. And I’m not a Regina fan, but no, dude, if you’re gonna do this then make a “20 of the worst things Regina ever did” list. Not a “20 things people get wrong” and then list a bunch of things that one in ten people gets wrong!

And now OP’s repeating. Because I’m pretty sure this was covered in the 4th one? Like, agree. I guess. But it feels like OP was running out of things and figured Regina bashing again would be too obvious or something.

Okay. Now this is something a lot of people won’t agree with but... I do.

I agree the show was intended to be Emma’s story and that it then got popular and other characters got popular and it branched out into something more.

... However OP is still a colossus idiot because they ended on this sentence:

“It's what made the concept of a seventh season without almost any of the Charmings such a laughable concept - and such a colossal failure, as well.” And while Season 7 may not be the masterpiece I pretend it is to piss of anti’s, it is also far from the worst. OP just hates it because their fav wasn’t centre stage and they’re bitter as hell.

Wow this was probably the stupidest article yet. OP either clearly doesn’t know what they were meant to be doing (a list of things people often forget about the show) or they just wanted to make a list where they bitched a few points and couldn’t be bothered to think of a catchy title or reason why. Either way, OP’s an idiot and most of these points are ridiculously dumb.

[worthless-weight-in-gold]

james acastar: repertoire meme

"luckily i was able to convince them it was a homophobic slur” “i love dr pepper. i dont claim to understand it, im not that arrogant” “ive never sent a fruit salad back because it was too dr peppery. thats a lie, i have. its really funny. i send most food back cause its too dr peppery just to see how they bring it back and what they change. you learn a lot about a chef” “no tape, no string... all box” “im like ‘screw you, you stupid parcel tape! i dont need you anymore! im closing the boxes using the boxes themselves! you can suck it! you can suck it forever, you goddamn parcel tape--’ to be honest i was taking the divorce a lot harder than i thought i was” “i love saying ‘i can see the sea.’ therse very few opportunities you get to say it. you can say it when you see the sea... uh... maybe during an eye test?” “i love you but i dont feel like i know you” “what if every relationship youve ever been in is someone slowly figuring out they didnt like you as much as they hoped they would?” “Is... die plural? anyway he accidentally killed two people” “i dont know if youve ever been in a gang but - pwsh- you get cross a lot!” “paisley paisley makes the girls go craisley” youve got to know your place in the food chair; its one above books” “too much of a good thing, the old death” “and that is every relationship ever: one of you is more selfish and thats why its doomed to fail” “its the devil. who lets not forget is a total rotter” “the happier you are, the sadder you end up. thats what i learned at the dentist” “i used to fantasize about bringing my own divider. weve all dared to dream in our lifetime” “get over it, i killed him over a year ago. im at the funeral arent i?” “oh jesus christ. i wish id gone to kenya” “you remember that time in crawley, a man threw maltesers at you and called you a bitch?” “yesterday was great! yesterday i finished my bread research” “leadership looks but, but it’s stressful. just look at anyone leading a conga” “out of everyone in the world, someone is the worst one. they dont even know it, either. they have no idea” “there are four things you can be in life; sober, tipsy, drunk, hungover. tipsy is the only one out of the four where you don't cry during it” “out of all the fog and steam came galloping... a goose” “im not a very adventurous person. ive only ever used one side of a cheese grater” “never before have i been so offended by something i 100% agree with” “youre not the only person who hates everyone, thank you” “the novelty has not worn off with curly fries”  “You dont realize how much you need something ‘til its gone, do you?”

[eksbdan-blog]

New Post has been published on https://passingbynehushtan.com/2019/10/23/how-sacrifice-sins-of-the-world/

How Can a Person Atone in a Sacrifice for the Sins of the World? Only One Way. Part 1.

Hint about the title. If you are thinking the answer that is God is the person, so he is. But not “God,” only God. It’s really not confusing at all. Ideas like “God” are not our problem. It’s their meaning when it’s not something that we want to hear. Then the idea becomes a problem. Here is the real meaning for “God,” and is perfectly and conservatively Christian, but still not something that you may want to hear.

Sacrifice for the Sins of the World? Why can’t religion be simple?

Well, actually it’s very, very simple. It’s just that kind of simple we don’t want.

When I was growing up and attending church, I increasingly realized the central theological message of Christianity as the sacrifice of the Son of God for the sins of the world. How does belief in this act affect the redemption of the individual? As time went on and I could reflect on a proposition deeper, this seemed harder to accept than presented.

Now the forgiveness of sin comes from more than the belief in Christ’s work on the Cross for your sin. That is a belief about your work, too, namely, that your sin keeps you from God, and if there is not a solution to this, you will die in your sins. 

In penal substitutionary atonement, why you repent is that you realize that you can’t save yourself, that God has to do it for you, by offering Himself as your substitute, taking your sin on himself. John McArthur puts it this way:1

“The Lord has caused the iniquity of us all to fall on Him. The Lord God Himself chose the sacrificial Lamb, the Servant, Messiah, the sacrificial Lamb. The Servant Messiah was voluntarily willing to submit Himself to become the vicarious substitute. God caused Him then to pick up all the guilt that belonged to us and take the full fury of divine wrath. Five different ways in Isaiah 53:4-6, five different ways it speaks of the vicarious, substitutionary provision of Jesus Christ, dying in our place. This is the heart of the gospel.”

Now, for those that affirm it, everyone seems very possessive and insistent on a certain formulation of atonement. Still, no one seems eager to explain how faith comes into this, thought essential for salvation no matter to what version you subscribe.

Are your sins the issue? Why, and what is to compel you to think Jesus’s solution is better than anyone else’s version of the operation of transcendence?

Well, obviously it’s about a better miraculous event proving his is a real operation. But not a real one, as I had come to believe, only because of inference from a stand-alone miracle that only God could perform such as the empty tomb. Not better because of the kind of miracle assumed to be manifest because this kind of sacrifice is unique. Real because something else happened that makes it true, but not that it makes more sense and appeals to reason on its own. My thought became that it was better, and perfect, and real, primarily because of a miracle in our mind, triggered by one that God performed in the world, of its description of something in the mind of God.

A miracle is God’s calling card. A miracle is an overt display of God’s existence, nature, and mind, which is so overpowering to the senses that it is accepted as such without meditation. But I think that if this miracle can happen in the outer world, it can also occur inferentially in the subjective world. This miraculous occasion has just as much power coming through spiritual senses and the physical senses. If that is true, then it is also a miracle that Christ hung on a cross for the forgiveness of sin. Although not a miracle in the objective sense, I expect it to be itself the wonder of a divine concept expected to change us once seen for what it is.

Why is this an important consideration? Because no one thinks the Parable of the Sower is a miracle meant for our spiritual awakening and then our salvation, only that of things such as Jesus’s healing ministry and the resurrection. Then, few are as impressed with Isaiah 53 as a miracle to write sermons upon as they are with Jesus’ ethics in the calling the little children for a blessing, or his washing of the disciple’s feet. And then, we look at Jesus on the Cross and think that this represents only what he had to go through to secure our forgiveness, while never so much as having heard of Daniel 9:26. There is a working assumption in our theology and the human heart that what we have of evidence of transcendence that is clear is fake, because it’s too good to be true, and only fit for the naive religionist. What is not so clear, and looks more mundane, but while still being also a product of the agent of transcendence which produced that clear view, is also not worthy of the remarkable either, but only of an uncommon morality. Viola, religion!

What is left, on the one hand, is an evidential sideshow of curious and eyebrow-raising unsolved mysteries of Christian religious literature called apologetics. On the other side, a revival tent of swooning and sweating enthusiasts in which everything that we need to or happen to feel at a given moment is granted the most serious respect as sincere moments of truth-seeking. Still on the other side of the Christain compound is the dimly lit hall of writing and reading desks, over which hover the innumerable bald heads of the scholars, deep in the patristic fathers for the discovery of the 2nd-century kerygma. But with all that brainpower never divinely fired, they never do know how to use that knowledge to bring up a revelation about what really changed from the 1st century. Our Christian experience and expression of faith is a mosh-pit of brains and bodies thrown against each other and never against any other, which is not a body and not in a mosh-pit. We have the truth, but what we really love about it that it allows us to use it and feel good about having it while not having it at all.

What this comes down to in this mediation of Jesus and the Cross is if we are practicing His Christianity or some chimera of our own making. Then, by that, whether we are saved or damned. I think it a pretty important topic.

I think that the teaching of Jesus is supposed to be a transfer of knowledge from the otherwise impossible source of God’s mind. There is not supposed to be in Christ’s action of the raising of Lazarus a disconnection to any other truth that God communicated. Isn’t the acceptance of a greater truth and a greater miracle manifest to our spiritual senses not supposed to be its point? Is not the teaching of Jesus in his words and actions the inducement of such a miracle, to open us up to the understanding of spiritual, otherworldly truth? Arent we saved through the hearing of the Gospel, presumably, as we think of commonly it, not an overt miracle?

Ok then, we know that the function of these external displays of God’s glory is for stopping our selfish mouths and brains from thinking our thoughts and replacing them with God’s. I believe that the real miracle that we have to witness is a miracle of the content of God’s thoughts in ours: an exclusively miraculous content.

If the image of Christ on the Cross will not be one of these, is it no wonder why we think it’s possible, and normal, for a saved person never to have seen or understood it as anything more than and OT act of religion replaced by a universal one? That it does not have any other symbolic theological significance past “propitiatory atonement by sacrifice”? Not a wonder that Christ on the Cross becomes to the unbelieving world a mere creative religious notion intrinsically no more ingenious than those of any other religion? That the suspicion that it has a unique divine intrinsic power, far beyond its ability to inspire a common emotional response to any such scene, like pity and love for someone suffering in our place, is lost? Is it no wonder then if we were to denigrate and dismiss any inference from it that would suggest that its signification denotes a disclosure about a kind of crucial sin to which we are addicted? That we would sell our souls and re-crucify Christ again if its transformative power were to be thought possible of exposure and judgment of us?

Please go to the next page…

May I make a prediction? Before this article ends, you will for the first time in your life of faith become something of the mind of God new to you, if I can successfully convince you that the Cross means is nothing less than your death or your life in a way that is miraculous. You have not heard of this before, because it’s unconsciously a closely guarded secret of the Christian consciousness. In normal consciousness, and even in normal evangelism, its a truth not entertained and uttered openly as an article of faith. You are not supposed to be fed the answer to a question that God wants you to discover on your own, but only by the motivation of your love of truth. Nevertheless, how you handle this truth, whether aware or unaware,  whether by agreement in words or practice, will determine your end. How you respond will decide whether or not you are playing around in mundane world religion or a simple manifestation of divine Truth, because this is the very function of the theological significance of the scene of Christ dying on a Cross.

Its the one truth of the faith that you could say is universally hated and actively shunned, but also the one truth about he faith, and about the Bible,  that is the least deniable.

I do this because there will come a day, which I believe will come shortly when we will have nothing left to inform our faith than the recollection of this real miracle of theological formation of which I speak. After the withering assaults from more carnally seductive alternatives, we will want to go back to the real fundamentals of our faith, and it’s not what we think they are.

Restating the Obvious

Let me reiterate the preceding in a variety of ways.

Now, I’m jumping into my early twenties in my quest to solve something about Christianity and its message confusing to me. I was not capable of this kind of question early on.  Why is it that the act of dying on the Cross is a less powerful revelatory element to faith than the empty tomb when they are both supposed to be supremely revelatory? This question bears not on the initial place and route of the miraculous into the spirit, but the final one. Some of the considerations toward an answer to which I deal will seem pedantic, and I apologize for that. But go with it. It’s necessary because when this subject opens up, it touches upon so much of what and how we think by cultural Christianity that, as powerful as this truth is, that firewall is constructed as its sufficient counter at every turn.

Where do miracles occur? I mean miracles that are demonstrably and rationally exposable and examinable to all. Not only personal subjective experiences. Is there today a change in emphasis from the time of the 1st century? If Christ as a sacrifice for world sin is important, and supremely so, and is the most important miracle, this question we have to confront this hard and early.

Must our most essential and objective demonstration of God for which our spirits are responsible only be in an overt miracle, whether seen or reported? Is a miracle not also an alien knowledge? Do wonders that show an impossible exception to the laws of nature has a more important counterpart in those that only occur in the spirit as a response to divine knowledge? Can’t this abstract miracle, just as examinable and open to scrutiny as to its validity, which occurs in the spirit and processes in the spirit to the spirit, not carry the same epistemic weight as an objective miracle which occurs within the physical world, processed within the spirit and to the spirit?  Can you then call it a Christian belief which asks one to believe in a sacrifice for sins which is no more remarkable than any other religious concept? A belief thought not having a miraculous and intrinsically transformative signification for which any sincere seeker would be responsible? Finally, it is not a symbol, which appears not as a miracle but a common act or word, which is hidden by God as to its intended meaning, that which becomes a miraculous instance of God’s power and nature in the spirit after it we know the knowledge it carries? This symbol essentially becoming within that space every bit a theophany of God to the spirit as if God appeared to the eye, which secures a substantive relationship with God that we can profess but can never have otherwise?

Is this subjectivism?

It may seem like I’m saying that experience of faith within your heart and mind is just as valid a proof of God as a miracle within space/time, but this is far from what I’m saying. You will think this because we are trained to think, as I said, of faith as not necessarily grounded in facts and the “spirit” as emotion.

I ask again, must the Christian message not be that there must be an appearance of God to the mind and heart with as much epistemic weight as that which occurs to the five senses? A presentation, in the form of knowledge, which has just as much power to influence the people around you to God’s reality after being reported by you? It would seem that what happens in space/time, brought into the spirit for processing, which is a demonstration of the presence and power of God, will be powerless and puerile until this miracle of its meaning occurs.

I say that Jesus on the Cross is one of them and the greatest of them all. Not that it is a miracle in the material world. An exception to the laws of nature. But a miracle in the spiritual world, through thought, that is every bit as palpable there.

I think we have to keep in mind that if you repent of your sin, your sin first needs representation and a solution by the sacrifice of Jesus before forgiveness. Or else you are repenting for your sin for the same reason a person repents who knows nothing about or does not believe in Messiah’s work on the Cross.  And your sin is found, and its cure rendered, not by a creative religious idea for which you believe and repent, or by no spiritual knowledge at all. By a miracle within which is fundamentally a revelation of his Person. An indispensable miraculous predicate. One which all religious ideas are to sign and represent in an inferior but essential capacity, but in an unbreakable relationship. What you believe and the reason you believe it has to be the equal of God’s revelation, and that revelation of Messiah on the Cross should be every bit as much of one as your kind of understanding and belief in it.

Please go to the next page….

Faith and Practice: Words Mean Things

There seems to be a disconnection between Christian faith and practice, but in a way in which those words as defined culturally have lost their meaning in Christian theology. Is “faith” only faith, and is “practice” only practice, to be used thus in the same flattened way that other religions use them? I don’t believe Christian faith should not be “faith” in the world’s estimation, and “practice” should not either.

If Christianity is the religion of miracle and demonstration, and not merely of wish-casting, “faith” needs to be faith in and because of a divine phenomenon that occurs in the spirit and the epistemic equal to any divine phenomena that trigger it that occurs in the mundane. It needs to be a miraculous knowledge and radical. To the natural noetic senses crazy radical, and demonstrably so, to show all those not accepting it are crazy. Following as an effect, “practice” can then essentially only be a personal spiritual demonstration of that faith in reaction to the divine phenomena in which it shares space, which is equal to an outward movement of the body in which are the content of speech and the motivations for actions. If not, it is easy why you can think you can believe Christ atoned for your sins but need not think you must know, understand, or become inspired by a provable miraculous act in the Crucifixion, death, and resurrection. You believe in miraculous Christian conclusions, like talismans, not miraculous Christian predicates.

The one verse that always came back to haunt me, beside and above all these other concerns was

John 8:24: “I said therefore unto you, that ye shall die in your sins: for if ye believe not that I am he, ye shall die in your sins.”

Here is contained the essential religious faith and practice, but to natural sight, it sure does not look that way.

Again, How does Faith Work in Redemption?

Well, it’s a little too early for that. But I will tell you this.

This question was becoming a key, because the identity of Jesus, required for us to confess, is the identification of him as Messiah Savior through his apparent, miraculous acts that stand alone as products of the exclusive power of a God of transcendence.  But also those which he performed that are not so plain to see casually, but plain only through honestly, mentally, connecting the act to a prediction that only God could make. If the case, the Atonement must have a far deeper meaning regarding the operation of our salvation than it presents on the surface.

Whether we are speaking of how the atonement works with faith or how faith works with the Gospel, we have the same question: How does Christian faith work in redemption? We will get around to the Gospel. But since, in my view, the sacrifice of Christ on the Cross is such an integral and powerful symbol of what God did to secure our release from the penalty of sin, I could not get it out of my mind when thinking about this.

Now, when I was busy being bewildered over so many questions and with no answers forthcoming, my first thought was that there must be something wrong with me. Maybe I have a spiritual block about spiritual things. Perhaps the whole proposition was a sham, this atonement of a Man-God by sacrifice for the world’s sin. Maybe this Jesus and his followers just invented a novel way of explaining how God’s plan of redemption fulfilled the Law and ended by their chosen religious leader, through which all need to join through them. When the possibility that the Church might not be teaching this correctly came up, I interpreted the word “correctly” here according to one of the choices given by the church and not by the Bible. “Correct” or in “error” according to Protestantism, catholicism, secularism, philosophy. Perhaps its only my Church that is not correct, joining something like, by Catholic perspective, the Protestant heresy of “justification in a moment,” where the real answer lay in adding works to faith in a progressive redemption. Maybe I need to shut my mind up and accept the “Christian” version of the truth, placing my “heart” needs over my “head,” and the church defines them.

In retrospect, although all these alternatives were confronting me in my lack of understanding of the theological formula, and should have weakened my resolve to push through it, I became more determined. Unlike any other religion I knew, Christianity seemed in some strange way to invite this examination, this struggle, deep introspection, just because it did not appear in a hurry to proclaim any more truth than it asked the hearer to admit of himself. It seemed to ask a lot of questions instead of only telling the answer to spiritual matters. This seemed strangely honest. Maybe this Christianity was perhaps more than it appeared above both the pedestrian and scholarly elucidations, and perhaps we are fundamentally ignorant about it.

Sacrifice for the Sins of the World. Christ on the Cross.

Again, asked am I to believe the imputation of Christ’s righteousness defeats that sin that keeps me from God. This result is by the belief of Christ’s sacrifice in my place. How does this operation work?

Knowing Christ’s heavy symbolic strategy of communicating what seemed for the pedestrian senses hard things but also axiomatic truths to those looking for them, was not this symbol of the crucifixion intended to mean something more than “sacrifice” or “death?” Should not the symbol of the crucifixion, knowing Christ’s methods, designed by him as a mirror image of the theology of salvation that he taught? And should not each one, the image and the theology, be as something as unique and surprising as we would expect to have come from transcendence? But here’s the kicker.  Should not the kind of faith that he asks us to have then rendered as foreign and unwanted to the Street as his intended meaning of the Cross is known and becomes paramount in his religion?

That suggested that maybe, just maybe, the Street is not them, but it might be us, the professing Church. I had all these images running through my head of the Pope and his priests. A Billy Graham Crusade. My childhood Methodist church, and the vast ocean out there, the over one billion, taken for granted as “Christian” yet are almost to the man saying that God’s makes exceptions for them because of their handling of a faith symbol which need have nothing remarkable and unexpected as a transcendent signification, and which feeds, counterintuitively, what must only be called feelings of false humility and self-importance.

If you don’t like that statement, I think we can agree that if what is being communicated and received by man and not designed to be touchy-feely, especially that which is inherently foreign and only designed to illuminate the spirit’s desire for truth at any cost, is not going to be touchy-feely. If it is touchy-feely, but also miraculous for the benefit of Truth alone, there is something wrong with the way it is explained.

I wanted to give the Bible every opportunity to speak for itself. I knew that it was a very symbolic, parabolic kind of revelation that Christ presented.  Was the atonement idea represented there in any other sense than someone dying in our place who must be God? It just did not sit well with me that Christianity, on the one hand, claimed an exclusive and complete revelation of God of things kept secret from the foundation of the world and now known, while this revelation as explained to me seemed to be nothing more than what could come from the mind of a creative and ambitious spiritual man on his own.

Please go to the next page…

Not an inconsequential line of investigation, I hope you agree. Here is not some minor concern that only requires the tweaking of an error in an understanding that came from a Greek word or two.

What I found was that, yes, although I found the Atonement in the Bible, the way it was there I found different from the one they offered me in Church, and, as I said, for a long time, this brought complete terror to me before it became a challenge and a blessing. It changed my life, but not before it daily ground me to the pavement and whispered how miserably hopeless and weak I was, that this was not something that I could have thought up myself. I knew now for sure that my “sin” was not really about doing or not doing something, or about how genuinely I accepted and believed a religious idea, or how deeply I believed in God and willing to give up my life for him. These are, again, asking no more of us than the kinds of things any other religion would ask. The problem was that I knew that what stood between God and me was something supernatural, something alien to the world but a part of it. It represented the only spiritual thing that was most manifest, but also the one thing that we are least willing to accept and integrate into our lives.

Symbolic Preliminaries.

We have someone on a Cross in the process of being executed. There are two essential elements to this picture: the person and the method of torture and execution. In the method, there is this means of nailing, tying, and fixing to that which also raises that person from the ground. What does this mean?

In natural sight, this is a man, and in natural sight, this is a piece of wood and some nails. The man is slowly bled to death and asphyxiated. In that natural sight, that is all it has for you. You can see that this is not a public miracle of the supernatural, although miracles accompanied it. It was a very common sight in a 1st Century Roman province. And, also a natural thought, how easy it would have been for God to have sent an army of his angels from the sky, take him off and fly him to heaven in the sight of all the people. Boy, this would bring many people to examine the doctrine of Jesus, would it?

But, if the fundamental problem of humanity is not that he does not believe what he sees, but that he does not believe what he can spiritually see but does not, then such as act as this expectation of God to casual thought would not be respectful of our personhood, our free will, as a person like God. It would be a deletion of free will since such a supernatural act would remove the choice of whether this is the act itself is from God.

However, the supernatural is what man has a problem with and is what God wants for him to accept to be a spiritually righteous person, not just a physical one, which the fulfillment of Personhood and not only its imitation.  If this is not an overt supernatural display, how could it be supernatural in a way that is not the same as the prosaic image of a man dying on a cross to which his natural senses lead him? If this supernatural display supposed to be something like “this was a universal sacrifice for the sins of the world in fulfillment of the tribal one carried out in the Law of Moses,” isn’t that just as well a mere religious and creative mere idea?

A mere religious idea is not tracking with the fact that this Jesus is a man and God,  natural and supernatural, and together is something so unique and transcendent it/He should stand as the most unusual and earth-shattering event in human history. Not just a universal symbol, either Jesus or the Atonement, to replace/correct a Jewish Messiah or its old symbol. That would not be only God placing one thing for another, that would be the historical fulfillment of a Jewish symbol, a symbol designed by God to become miraculously fulfilled. A supernatural meaning in fulfillment of a supernatural symbol of a yet unfulfilled part of Jewish law. Yet as the realization of an Old Testament symbol in its meaning, the physical act and a unique theological message can’t be the meaning because this would say that symbols comprehensively carry and are determinative of meaning. That is precisely the opposite of divine revelation, where divine phenomena and appearances are first and our inferior but morally sufficient ideas about it second.

What kind of meaning are we talking about that aligns with the essential definition of meaning, one which is of knowledge impossible without special revelation by God?

Let us remember that a symbol or an idea is a representational device for the carrying of identification and operation of a thing in itself. It is not meaning itself, only a tool for it to appear in the world. Remember that this sacrificial act by someone who claims to be the Son of God is someone that uses miracles not to bind someone up in a decision but to help them. To point them to the gravity and importance of another one which, like the miracle, is not imminent, but spiritual and self-attesting. Jesus is then not just supposed to be the fulfillment of Elijah or Moses.  No matter how he satisfies them his mission, his mission is not only to bring their ultimate personal instances into the world. Its to deliver their final transcendent message into the world, which represents the end of a chain of symbolic assignation to render ultimate meaning, not another round of it.

Lets also not forget that a proposition is not Truth, its a symbol of truth. You can and must worship, give ultimate value to Truth, but you cant give it to a mere symbol (“mere” making it the pagan equivalent is the idol). To believe “Jesus saves” is a saving proposition, or that saying and believing the propositions “Jesus saves” or “God is sovereign,” will not save you ay more than bowing down to a carved image of Molech. These are conceptual symbols of a faith container, a placeholder for a Truth, not the God who is Truth. And so emotion does not save you, and reason does not save you, doctrinal propositions do not save you, no matter how important they are in the disgesting and understanding of revelation. Those are also only possible images of a Truth received, understood, and believed, not that truth itself or your moral acts themselves. Christ saves you, but not “Christ,” insofar as this is only a designated name and an idea for something of his which is his abstract equivalent and which is nowhere near a cultural formulation. Christ is an objective Person, and he is a revelation of knowledge. You get to use the symbol of faith “Christ” through his informational entity of miraculous knowledge. You don’t get to use the symbol effectively as if independently imbued with that divine power, which rubs off on you like an idol that you merely hold without your demonstrated spiritual connection to the declared truth it represents.

Continued here: How Can a Man Atone for the Sins of the World By His Own Sacrifice? Only one way. Part 2. The Messianic Secret

Schuurman W. Penal Substitutionary Atonement is the Heart of the Gospel: Who Agrees? | Trinity Bible Chapel. Trinity Bible Chapel. https://trinitybiblechapel.ca/penal-substitutionary-atonement-is-the-heart-of-the-gospel-who-agrees/. Published July 19, 2018. Accessed October 26, 2019. ↩

[y-hweh]

James 4:3 says"when you ask,you dont receive,because you ask with wrong motives.." What are wrong motives?Im a new believer and I live in Azerbaijan,there arent many churches here.So I dont have anyone to ask Im asking this,cause I wanna study abroad,and pray my familys financial situation gets better and they can afford my education.Is it selfish?A wrong motive?One of the reasons i wanna study abroad is to live in a Christian country but my main reason is to live in better standards I guess.

Hi Friend, Good question. Wrong motives, I believe would be anything that go against Gods Will and His Goodness. John 15:17 says "If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you."If our heart is aligned with Jesus' heart, then the things we are asking will align with His Will. We'll want what He wants, we'll feel what He feels, we'll be sad when He's said, we'll be joyous when He's joyous. It doesn't sound selfish to me. It sounds like your striving for Christ. I would recommend that when you pray, pray that God's Will be done regardless. Pray that He would use you to fulfill His Will. Pray that He would reveal where He wants you to go. And when He says go - go. But also remember this, sometimes we will not get a divine word from God. He has already laid out His Will all over the Bible. Look to the Word friend, and if what you want aligns with that, then you're good to go. God is a good Father, He will not turn from you if your prayers aren't exactly always correct. He will talk to you, and teach you, and mould you. Listen for Him. Hebrews 13:20-21 saysNow may the God of peace, who brought up from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great Shepherd of the sheep, and ratified an eternal covenant with his blood. May he equip you with all you need for doing his will.
May he produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to him. All glory to him forever and ever! Amen."I hope this answered your question. Best wishes. XX - C

[not-tryin-2-have-a-debate]

related but different i get so fucking annoyed seeing people bitch abotu ufkcing nothing and thats selfish and weird of me because im aware that the way i deal with things by not talking about them and keeping them unknown until i die or it comes up and shocks people also isnt healthy but jesus christ when someones acting like the world is ending and its like bitch you have maybe one responsibility in the whole world

i hate seeing people that arent poor complain about fucking anything hoenstly

i hate people trying to dramatize their situation so other people will listen and think its bad :((( like they know its fucking nothing so they have to make it sounds worse..lmao

i hate hate hate seeing people say they wish they were dead when they dont fucking mean it it pisses me off so fucking much

youre a coward and being suicidal isnt fun and relateble and i want you to shut the fuck up forever i wnat people who dont have a single through in their fucking head going on below the surface to stop pretending they understand pain and stop pretending theyve ever really been fucking hurt and stop pretending they could EVER at ALL fucking Relate to the hour and hours and hours of sobbing alone wishing for nothing but death and hell and sleep and pain

[thosemintcookies]

God, immersing myself with other Christians this Easter for 2 whole days is so exhausting. Like, I know so much of their christianity is not the same as mine. Theres a friend of mine and I was explaining to her deep readings of the bible that I was engaging in and it was reverent and loving but very off kilter from "normal" Christian discourse and I was like "doubt is important and assessing your beliefs and the bible from different perspectives than the one you were taught is good actually" and she was cringing so hard. Like i feel so close to God at times but people think I'm moving away because I'm moving away from church rhetoric. It's a lot. Also can we Christians stop pretending indigenous religions are "witchcraft" (a literal word someone used today) and can we please stop pretending Jewish people are evil and for the sake of christ and my sanity can we please stop pretending women arent meant to be leaders? There was a talk on DEBORAH today and somehow the guy still implied that men are more suited to leadership. DEBORAH. Fuck.

Also if one more speaker pretends that Christians are the most prosecuted group in the world or uses fear mongering to drench children in guilt and shame I am gonna seriously lose it.

Christianity is ineffectual if it isnt showing loving kindness towards others without expecting anything. Not even conversion. Not even a thank you. Its fucking Easter. Jesus died for us in live or whatever. Christianity does not stop at the cross. We are implored to exemplify that. We are not saved to avoid hell. We are saved to work as God's hands to make lives easier for others. As jesus was willing to die despite the accusations of corruption, we are supposed to do what we know to be loving, avoid violence and condemning and that is the burden, that is our cross. Our burden is not just discipleship, it's the act of choosing the other person every time.

Its fundamentally selfish to accept salvation to avoid hell. We follow christ because we love others on this planet, right now as we live. That's the spirit of Easter. I want to hear more messages like this during ministry. I do not need hellfire on my heels to want to follow jesus. I want the peace of love. That's it.

[atinyjedi]

I came to you to fucking fix this. I know we needed distance. look at us. We cant prosper like this. I never wanted to dispute the fact that we need distance. It's the animosity I wanted gone. and it does exist, it exists in how you speak of me, in how you refer to me and how you twist my feelings for you into something they arent. And you told me off. You put words into my mouth when I expressed hurt over what you posted, which by the way, you did the exact same thing back in may to me, and you felt you were in the right for doing so. you said you werent capable of discussing it when in reality you just didnt want to tell me, and I'm blamed in the end for even coming to you at all.

So, jesus christ, I'm so sorry that you meant so much to me that I didn't want everything we fucking worked for to implode over misunderstandings on BOTH of our parts. I'm sorry for after we talk, checking your blog to pick your brain since you were cold and kurt and finding "You're just a child and In the end you're one more selfish lover" and assuming that it was for me. I'm soeey for saying anything at all. I shouldve let you be and let you believe what you want to believe and I shouldve fucked off when you told me to.

Then you call me your enemy, breaking my already shattered heart into the finest dust, and nothing even matters anymore.

So why am I a fucking stupid worthless mess