#its not what you can do for mental illness its what it can do for you

[lamentationsofasinner]

on sunday september 8th 2024, i lost my grandma to a stroke. i hadn't seen her for a month even though she lived just up the road from me because i had been on holiday and been to see my other grandparents. my parents and my brother saw her on the wednesday before she died, because she brought us date slice, but i was watching maiden at the cinema with my friends, so i didn't see her. my dad saw her on the saturday walking around the seafront, and said she seemed perfectly fine. at about three o clock that day, when i was doing biology revision, my dad got a phonecall from my grandad that she'd had a stroke, and that the ambulance was on its way.

my grandparents had been ill prior to this, but this was my first experience with knowing that that person was going to die. me and my mum watched catch me if you can with leonardo dicaprio and ate garlic bread. at about 9 oclock, my dad came home with my grandad, because my grandma was still in the icu, and ate pasta at our table. i made tea with my back to them because i was silently crying.

i went to bed, and the next morning, i went into my mum's room, and she told me grandma had passed away in the night. i sobbed for hours.

i went back to school the next day, and my mum emailed the school telling them what had happened. i was fine for about a week, but i was fine in a manic way. the following monday, the dam broke. i had a panic attack in english, and things went downhill quickly from there. i vividly remember having a mental breakdown on the floor of my science teacher's classroom, crying so hard that i had to go and be sick. he wasn't there so he didn't see it because he had to go on duty, and i'm so glad he didnt, because i consider that my lowest point.

her and my grandad were third and fourth parents to me, looking after me when my mum was working and my dad was away. i have so many fond memories of her, which i clutch close to my chest.

i grieved for months. i'm still grieving. sometimes i'm completely fine, and then it clobbers me over the head. this is my first experience with grief, and fucking hell, it's awful. it's eroded me into someone i barely recognise. i didn't cry, not ever, and now i cry all the time. it's changed me fundamentally as a person and i hate this new, mean, snappy, overly emotional version of me.

No one prepares you for how crippling grief is, last year my mom died of cancer. I watched her decline so rapidly that my brain couldn't understand who I was looking at by the time she passed. I couldn't understand who I was by the time she passed because I had to become a vessel who makes appointments, dresses, nurses, cooks and an entity who does not sleep. I did it all alone. The reality is that cancer eats away at everything, it lives on even after the patient dies. It ate away at every part of me, I couldn't get out of bed, I had sleep paralysis, I couldn't stop seeing her... like that. They asked me if she's my grandmother when they carried her out of the house. She was in her early 50s. Do you understand? In 3 months, she began to look like she was 80. Everyone wanted me to move on after a month, no one called anymore, not even a text. I thought I was alone when she was alive, but this was a new type of isolation. One that I barely survived. (thank you to my mutuals and tumblr for being an outlet)

It's been a year and 6 months, today I realized she's not the first thing I think of in the morning, or the last thing I think of before I fall asleep. I couldn't even call to do paperwork before, now I'm forgetting why it was even that difficult.

The sun's out, I think i'm going to get ice cream without feeling guilty that it's not something she can do anymore.

[hausofodyssey]

✨ Astro Insights ✨

Astrology also can be used to explore ways to identify one's strengths, weaknesses and how to improve your physical and mental health. Part 1 covers the 1st house, this is part 2 with looks at the 6th house and part 3 will focus on the 8th house. I will also make a separate post for mental health houses.

Please be mindful these are just my own studies and do what is best for your circumstances and what feels good for YOU!

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6th House

In astrology the 6th house governs daily habits, diet, exercise and illness. It shows in how someone manages their wellbeing and any potential health issues.  The 6th house shows how you manage health, work, and daily routines. Understanding its placements helps optimise wellness, revealing health strengths, weaknesses, and ideal habits.

The person's health is specifically attached to their ability to advance at work and their work environment, thus any trouble that shows up in the 6th house can adversely affect one's general sense of wellbeing. 

Best Exercises Routines Based on 6th House Sign:

Fire Signs (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) Need high-intensity workouts to burn excess energy. Exercises like HIIT, running, weightlifting, kickboxing etc

Earth Signs (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) Thrive with slow, steady exercises. Yoga, strength training and hiking could be good for these signs.

Air Signs (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) Need variety and movement-based workouts (dance, cycling, Pilates, social sports)  

Water Signs (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces) Benefit from fluid and mindful movements and exercises like swimming, tai chi, yoga and breath work could be suitable for these signs.

Scorpio 6th house 

Scorpio here suggests intense health cycles—you might experience periods of great vitality followed by periods of deep exhaustion. Your body may be highly regenerative, but you could also be prone to chronic or hidden health issues that take time to diagnose.

The reproductive system, bladder, and detoxification organs (like the colon) may need extra care. Since Scorpio is about deep transformation, alternative healing methods (detox, therapy, or even energy healing) can be beneficial. Work-related stress can deeply affect your health, making emotional resilience crucial.

Since Scorpio's energy is intense, powerful, and transformative, their works could be ones that channel emotions into movement (boxing, weight lighting, martial arts), include intense yet therapeutic activities (hot yoga, sauna therapy, swimming) and promote deep relaxation after exertion (breath-work, stretching and massage therapy could be beneficial for this placement)

Libra 6th house

When Libra is in the 6th house, individuals with this placement may struggle with blood sugar imbalances, for example too much sugar or processed foods could cause fatigue, skin breakouts, or hormonal fluctuations.

Hormonal & sugar sensitivities can be an issue for this placement as Libra/Venus energy can affect hormone balance leading to issues like acne, bloating, or weight fluctuations. Digestive Issues may arise from emotional stress. Health can be affected by toxic relationships, work stress or emotional imbalance.

Libra in the 6th house suggests social or aesthetically pleasing workouts like dance classes, group fitness activities or workouts with a friend, this could help with staying committed. Avoid overly aggressive, harsh workouts as you need harmony, not exhaustion, and 

As Libra is ruled by Venus, this means that beauty and wellness and a solid skincare routine, massages or even aromatherapy outdoors improve both physical and mental health. Creative outlets like painting, listening to music or design can reduce anxiety & improve wellbeing.

Aquarius 6th house

When Aquarius is in the 6th house, your health and daily habits are unconventional and unpredictable and people with this placement might struggle with sticking to routine for too long before getting bored.

Holistic or alternative health practices could be interesting such as herbal medicine, biohacking or cutting edge wellness trends.

Aquarius rules circulation, the nervous system and lower legs like the ankles, calves, shin, watch for issues like restless leg syndrome, poor circulation and random energy crashes. Also Aquarius being ruled by Uranus, there can be sudden or unexpected health issues.

Individuals with Aquarius in the 6th house need to create a flexible health routine  and incorporate variety to keep things engaging. Movement based activities like trampolining, cycling or dancing can be good in supporting circulation.

[imhereformysciencefriends]

Gaston is honestly the easiest Disney villain to do a Wicked-style perspective retelling of, imho. Like,

You are stupid, and you are arrogant, but your arrogance is not necessarily ill-earned. Your town might be a pretty damn small pond, but you are undoubtedly the biggest fish in it. You excel at all the masculine pastimes you pursue, you are well renowned amongst your peers, and you have multiple examples of women fawning over you.

You are attracted to the most beautiful woman in town. Of course you are. You are a simple man of simple wants, and although she is weird and bookish, she is uncontestedly the most beautiful fish in your small, small pond.

So you attempt to woo her. You flatter her with compliments that would be well received by any woman in your town that was not weird and bookish. But she is, so she does not enjoy your compliments. You spin a tale of a future that all your contemporaries would consider simple and idyllic, well regarded amongst the values of your time period. But she is a strange and funny girl, that Belle, so she does not want what you have been raised to believe that all people would want for their futures. When she rejects you, your feelings, ego, and the bottom of your chin are all bruised. 

So you have a sulk in the tavern about it. Softer souls than yours have nursed a broken heart over some ale and a game of darts, and your companions, your peers, your friends, all remind you of how highly they regard you, of how you have a whole community of people who know you, love you, admire you, and while the most beautiful girl in town may have rejected you, there are still plenty of women who are quite beautiful in their own right who do share your values and aspirations for the future. You are roused by their affection, and your spirits are once again high.

A while later, the father of the woman who rejected you bursts into the tavern, clearly unwell. He’s babbling, out of breath and talking fast, spinning wild tales of cursed castles, demonic furniture that moves on its own, and a terrible, lumbering beast that took him prisoner and, as the cost for his release, now holds his daughter imprisoned.

So you get in contact with the best option for medical treatment of your era. Your era will not be remembered kindly for its treatment of mentally unwell patients, but that will be then, and this is now, and so you arrange the best medical care that you have access to for him, and then organize a rescue mission. She broke your heart, but she is still a member of your community, reclusive and strange as she is, and as a member of your community it is naturally the responsibility of you and the townsfolk to go save her. Whether or not the beast is real, her father’s fear for her safety certainly is, and the fact that she did not come home with him is evidence enough.

But then she’s there! And she is also raving, she pulls a mirror from her bag to show you that the beast is actually a good person, but what she shows you is no simple man. There really is a beast. It is horrible, groaning, roaring, with giant fangs, horns protruding from its fur, muscles on its torso well beyond what even you, with a lifetime of dedication, have built and what’s worst of all—its eyes. There is something intelligent in those eyes. Something that scares you.

Clearly, entering that castle drives folks mad, because the next thing she tells you is that this beast, this thing, is not only a good man, but a man she has fallen in love with. You are not a smart man. You do not even know where to begin with that. But you do know hunting. You do know your townsfolk. And you do know that that beast cannot be left alone to continue capturing and terrorizing members of your community. Two good people have already been driven mad by whatever conspires inside its haunted home, and that is two too many. You rally your people. You have a beast to hunt. 

Like, we dislike Gaston because he’s an asshole, but you can very easily make and follow a logic trail for him that paints him as mostly-average and entirely reasonable. 

[proud-cloud]

Three Cheers for sweet revenge plot song by song according to me

My credentials are that uhmm ive listened to this album like weekly since i was like 12 and uhm im taking english A-Level (crime and tragedy) sooooo

Full disclaimer i could do a line by line analysis on pretty much all of these songs but then this would be stupidly long so im just touching on the points or lyrics i think are most important for the plot! Oh and i cant spell and im trieddd of writing academic essays so im kinda yapping ngl

HELENA

honestly i barely have anything to say here but i imagine its the demo woman’s funeral (yes ik its abt Gerard ways grandma but let me cook) kind of setting the tone and exploring his grief, creating the circumstances for his deal with the devil - especially in the bridge.

GIVE EM HELL KID

Ok so here!! Is where i start to have more to say!! So in my head the man (im just gonna call them tje man and the woman or like he/she from here on) has accepted the deal with satan to kill 1000 evil men and is basically on a killing spree? So from my immense medical knowledge of watching house im preity sure epidrene is a steroid, which like gives him energy (interestingly ive been on them a few times for asthma and they have a long list of mental side effects such as uhhh mania (fall out boy whooo) anxiety and depression which maybe foreshadows his sorta insanity towards the end as his guilt haunts him) acting as a symbol of his immense motivation to see his wife again, so verse one especially is before his downfall where hes like yippee killing people to see my wife again!! The chorus i imagine is sang by both him and the woman in heaven as they both long for each other uhm and later on in the song it does seem as if hes begining to kind of loose it a bit due to his grief? kind of foreshadowing his well everything later on in the album. In the bridge i imagine hes kind of mocking their teenage selves (linking to im not okay later on) especially in the line “we are young and we dont care” criticicing their hopefullness by comparing it to their current circumstance - ironic as it only gets worse from here.

TO THE END

Now i know this is based on a rose for emily (i tried to read it and there were a LOT of slurs from what i remeber so that was yeah) but for the sake of my silly little narrative were kinda just not gonna touch on that. So here i believe the man has been set to kill this couple, just to find the wife has killed her husband (with the “cyanide you drank” i assume) which drives him into a sort of crisis, questioning if this was what would have happened to him and his wife if she had lived and they had stayed married for this long (fueling his sexuality crisis in prison). I could go so much further into this, especially language wise but for the sake of everyones sanity ill leave it here :)

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DO TO GUYS LIKE US IN PRISION

so hes literally in the middle of a gunfight in the centre of a resturant and the police come and theyre like come with ur arms raised high and ok so!!! Theres many people who could explain this better than me but the man gets arrested for killing all these people and gets sent to jailllll. Ive heard some people talk about it as an allegory for SA in prison and others who talk abt it as him realising his gay/bi ect and honestly i can see both. I really like the line “too much to late or just not enough of this, pain in my heart for your dying wish, i kiss your lips again!” Which, running with the latter intrepretation, suggests hes feeling regret for all the murdering hes done and is questioning if he ever did love his wife this much, and if he should move on and fix his mistakes. So to make a long story short he has a sexuality crisis in prision! Toward the end, he escapes prision and with his “friends” from jail, lilely from setting it on “fire” (i got the friends bit from the lyric “but ill go down with my friends”) escaping jail but at the cost of further loosing his sanity and grasp on morality.

IM NOT OKAY (I PROMISE)

for conveniences sake he either gets knocked out (the giggles at the end of prision i guess beinf from a concussion or something?) or just like goes to sleep somehwhere after the prison break with the other ex inmates and has a flashback to his time in high school, when he fell in love with his wife. As an audienve were kinds like dude she did not like you back then calm down which makes us question the morality of his mission, but for him it reminds him of what hes fighting for and erases the doubt he had in their love in to the end and prison. I will say im kinda pidgenholing this in with the flashback but uhm yeah!

THE GHOST OF YOU

This song acts as a continuation of his grief, back in the present day after im not okay made him remember what he was doing this all for. This basically confirms his belief that killing all these people is right because he needs to see her again. He battles with his morality knowing that she should be “never coming home” cause shes dead but then considering the deal with satan and its morality asking himself “could i? Should i?”. Towards the end, it seems like he decides killing the men to bring her back is the right thing to do. the line “If i fall, down” seems to show his commitment to her regardless of morality, hes willing to ‘fall down’ to hell if it means he gets more time with her which is ironic as he later does go to hell, but never gets to see her again.

THE JETSET LIFE IS GONNA KILL YOU

and hes back to killing again!! I think “her killing jar” is a metaphor for his fixation on his wife and the things its driving him to do. Hes trapped as if he was in a jar by the deal he made with satan for her. Its kind of difficult to explain but essentially hes assuring himself that hes doing it all for her and its all worth it as his sanity slowly dissipates, which i believe is demonstrated through the lyric “pull the plug” kinda symbolising hes giving up on himself and dedicating everything to her. Now this is obviously unhealthily obsessive and is the point where we definately start to question if what hes doing is right - is he not essentially playing god now? Should one man act as judge, jury and executioner?

INTERLUDE

ok its literally just the interlude but here i beleive he is praying for god, the “saints”, to “protect” his wife in heaven further showing his like motive? For all of his murders - his love for her however dangerously codependant.

THANK YOU FOR THE VENOM

HE KILLS MORE PEOPLE 🔥🔥 its almost like he has to kill 1000 evil men damn. BUT now hes starting to loose his grip on reality and is killing innocent people. I like to think he goes to the church he married his wife in and starts killing people - hence the line “sister im not much a poet but a criminal” - hes changed completely from the man he once was. They try to convince him to like stop saying its not what his wife would have wanted but he does not listen - in the lyric “preach all you want but whos gonna save me” - and continues to spiral into a life of crime and implied addiction (when in the chorus he says “give me all your posion and give me all your pills”)

HANG EM HIGH

THIS!! This is the one i can never fully figure out despite it being so good 🙏🙏 it feels like a cop out to say he suddenly becomes a cowboy or idk has to kill a cowboy but any other way i can interpret it is just the same old back to mourning his wife and dedicating his life to her so uhm yeah take any of those 3 or your own and run with it (please tell me if you know how to make this fit better than me)

ITS NOT A FASHION STATEMENT ITS A FUCKING DEATHWISH

Hes now so deep into his mission he cant quit despite the regret he feels. This kind of links back to his mocking of their younger selves in give em hell through the lyric “do you remeber back there when we met you told me this gets harder, well it did!”. Hes kind of pondering how his life got this bad wishing it didnt have to be this way. however he believes they will soon be reunited - evidenced through lines such as “im coming back from the dead” and the repeated references to resserection and him finding his wife, “your running out of places, to hide from me”. At the end, he says “i lost my fear of falling, i will be with you”, further showing he thinks he will soon see his wife again and simmilarly to the ghost of you shows hes willing to sacrafice his soul just to see her again

CEMETERY DRIVE

trust me the fake music video in my head for this goes HARD. So he visits the cemetary where his wife is buried to kinda tell her in a way? That hes almost finished and he’ll see her soon. And in my like the cool cinemetic imaganary music video he dances with her ghost but uhm plot wise hes kinda lamenting how much he misses here as the chorus goes “i miss you, so far”. Now theres some confusion as to how she died as here it says “and they found you on the bathroom floor” but in i never told you it says “they gave us two shots to the back of the head” so i imagine he got caught up in some like bad stuff and they killed her in their home - the bathroom - which does add some depth to his grief as he feels responsable for her death hence why he wants to bring her back so bad. His dedication to her is reinforced through the lyric “so i wont stop lying wont stop dying” which as ive said a lottt shows his like questionably large levels of motivation in this mission from satan. The repetition of “way down” at the end foreshadows the twist in the next song - that he's going to hell - and this idea has been building up throughout the narrative but its reaching its peak now and we begin to see it as a serious possibility considering the innocent people he has killed alongside the guilty ones.

I NEVER TOLD YOU WHAT I DO FOR A LIVING

Aaaaand im realising ive made it all the way through this without even having to check the tracklist which shows that i lack a life! But anyways this song communicates the concept so well and i genuienly could line by line delve into it but for the sake of conciceness as i have been i will just cover the basic concept

OK SO! Hes metholodically getting through this list (im inferring he has a list from the line “i keep a book of the names”) kind of rushing through them, seen through the fast pace of the first verse, in my head it resembles a video montage of the murder of multiple people off of the list. This is further evidenced through the lyric “another knife in my hands” showing this has somehow become his everyday life as hes become so detached from normalicy in his grief. NOW NOW NOW the lyric “a stain that never comes off the sheets” is an allusion to lady Macbeth (I FREAKING LOVE SHAKESPEARE) (im a hamlet girl tho honestly) where she couldnt wash the blood off of her hands which is a common literary symbol for guilt showing his mission has taken a massive toll on him mentally if we did not already realise this. “It aint the money and it sure as hell aint just for the fame” implies he does not enjoy killing these people despite the fact hes killed probably over a thousand people which againnnn shows his dedication to his wife. Now i know ive said that about a billion times but thats important to consider when we take into account that he does not get to see her again - everything he did was essentially worthless, in fact if anything everything he did just sealed his fate. Therefore, if we view him as a tragic hero (i can go so much more into this but thats for another day) then his hamartia is his love for her, his loyalty which kinda gave him tunnel vision meaning he could not see the flaws his plan and the way he was being exploited by satan.

now theres so much symbolism in the lyrics i could discuss (I LOVE THIS SONG) but i will refrain and kinda skip forward to the bridge/the end. I like to think he turns the last page in his book of names to just see his own name and then begins to spiral - this is where the song goes “and we all fall down”. Im preitty sure gerard ways like screams say “i tried” which like furthers this breakdown as he comes to understand all the wrong he has done and his inevatatable damnation. After a large moral debate he thinks it would have been better if they were both killed together originally “never again / they gave us two shots to the back of the head” and he shoots himself in the hope he will eventually be with her in the afterlife, and if not then a life without her is not a life worth living anyways. It ends with the lyric “were all dead now” (which they are) which reminds me of the rhyme/ game from when i was a kid ring a rosies (which i swear is about the plauge) and how that ends by saying “we all fall down” kinda showing the corruption he brought into the world and that everything must come to an end. This is typical of a tragic hero - his anagorisis (realisation of his flaw / mistake) and then his death - which is why i personally do veiw this album as mostly conforming to troupes of traditional greek tragedy :).

aaaaand thats it!! I dont count bury me in black or desert song as part of the album plot uhhh if anyone else does id love to hear how that sounds so cool but yeah!!! Oh and sorry again for any typos and spelling errors i cannot spell for the life of me uhmm this could be so incoherent for all i know (if so sorry!!) but i hope not 😛

lmk if you’d actualy wanna hear the full yap poetry annotation style for a song cause i love nothing more if not talking i might do the same for danger days if i feel like it so watch out 🔥🔥

[betweenthescarletmoon]

hello fellow mutual from tiktok!!! I am so happy to see you put your thoughts here, i feel it was much harder for us to discuss jayce over there!

I agree with everything you said. A fourth act would've worked wonders for Every Character, not just him. And it does anger me so much that Jayce wasn't seen nor Written as a profound character because of s1. I wish i could have a talk with Christopher Linke about this

The idea that people can only like characters because they're attractive to lessen the load of digesting media is imo most likely the Editing Effect of inatagram and tiktok. It pains me to say but i do wonder if arcane came out by the time we as a generation watched AMVs and 7min edits on youtube instead (or at least i did). Maybe then people would have more profound thoughts on all the characters, including Vi, Jinx, Silco, Mel. And i am glad we can discuss things more over here, but it's still not as common to discuss and analyze as it used to be either.

You've mentioned one of my biggest gripes with fandom interpretation in the cave, WHO would debate bisexuality when they have nothing left but the crumbling inner workings of their mind, building the last comfort it can?? Thank you, i really like the idea that he also found himself resenting them, that is actually a much closer observation to how he Looks at them. I truly like that transition from his tears (which represent his old, vulnerable, sweet self) to that colder bitterness that guides him for the rest of the season (until we get the ending, which from a character narrative standpoint, doesn't make sense to me tbh).

Here's the thing, I've also placed myself in the difficult position of liking those thirst edits, saving them in a folder called "thirst traps" to keep them apart from my Real Jayce Folder, laughing at some of the "why trauma jayce kinda" and the like...while also deep down just feeling so empty and sad about it but feeling like there was nothing i could do about it? I don't wanna be dramatic but it Felt isolating. And maybe it does make me a hypocrite! Conformity and yadda yadda, but i cannot imagine that Jayce was designed to not be hot. I believe that was fully intentional, but i also thought that they were prioritizing his character. When i first saw act 2, i didn't know his agency would be obliterated and his arc ripped from his hands to place it solely on Viktor's. So now it feels even worse, that That is what the writers used him for too. And people are completely fine with it! They're so happy about the soulmates.

Your observations about him not stopping and being stuck in survival mode bring me clarity fr. He's never truly been a man about rest, was he? Perhaps that was his main trauma response all along, sacrificing sleep and Academy grades to get Hextech running, almost killing himself the moment he felt he lost it. Of course he'd do that at a more extreme level, but because act 3 doesn't rest or let the story breathe, i frankly didn't interpret it as that, it just felt like he conveniently stopped being mentally ill to give a speech and fight the war 😂 if he survived, he probably wouldn't have stopped, because stopping meant that PTSD would rear its ugly head. But the tragedy of it all Was that he died. Saving the world yes, but it feels so empty and cruel that he suffered so much just to die. No real accomplishment or meaning, just him serving the narrative and saving Viktor.

PS : i adore viktor i really do but it's getting hard not to resent him bc of what the writers did to butcher him, and how they stripped jayce of everything he was outside of him. I still love him! I promise!

And mutual! If you wanna keep talking in DMs you are welcome to!!

Random Thoughts on the Arcane Fandom about Jayce

this is gonna be a mess but I have nowhere else to talk about this.

I've recently noticed how Jayce Talis has been subjected to all kinds of sexualization since the drop of Act 2 of the second season. People have mentioned many times how trauma has made him "hot". A good and well-known example of this is Danny Motta's reaction to episode 5, where he said, "Holy shit, they made Jayce hot! [...] My dude went from looking like a Muppet to the king of Rohan, and all it took was a little bit of trauma."

This isn't entirely new for him? If people didn't hate Jayce back in S1, they ogled him in the scene where he works on the Forge shirtless, which IS kinda the point because the animators are making him very obviously attractive. But most importantly, he as a character has been reduced to his sexual or romantic relationships since the beginning of time.

It seems that S2 is a response to this in a way. His arc from the ending of S1, where he took responsibility of his actions out of guilt for the child he killed, was slightly set aside for Viktor. Well, ALL of his life, dreams, decisions, everything about him was eclipsed by Viktor's shadow because of the whole "all times, all possibilities" twist. He wasn't expected to show up as a Councilor in any of the meetings, and we must assume he quits at some point, but he surely hasn't resigned from his position by the time Viktor wakes up. Apart from that much needed scene between him and Cait, and the one where he attends the memorial (and is attacked by a vengeful mother), we don't see many of his decisions or what leads him to make them, other than Viktor. This is beautiful in a way because we can SEE how it is a trauma response to losing him. He is obsessive by nature, and he clings to what keeps him and his loved ones safe excessively, but I still had to do a bit of mental gymnastics as to why he went back on the second promise: to not build Hextech weapons again. (Hint: it has to do with the fact that VI saved him with HIS weapon, but it went so fast it's hard to process in the first watch.)

Now back to the sexualization problem. Every time I look up his name and trauma, or PTSD, 95% of the results are thirst edits on Tiktok about how hot he is. No joke. One of the more serious results is my own edit. Of course, a lot of people connect with his suffering without naming it as trauma, and that is great. My concern is that there has been so much focus on Jinx's trauma, Viktor's trauma, even Silco's trauma (which are all valid and fascinating to explore), but there's less attention for other characters who clearly show how their own traumatic experiences has shaped them. Vi, Caitlyn, and Jayce are some of the clearest examples of this, and they've experienced some truly heinous things in the show. Trauma cannot be compared, ever. But why is it that Jayce, who lived through an apocalypse that HE knows HE caused, and lives in complete isolation except the "company" of metal watchers, to the point that he loses touch with reality, and is changed so irrevocably that he loses the naivety and starry-eyed optimism that has always defined him...is seen as hot? And more importantly, why is it that there is very little attention to his experiences on that cave? Every scene between him and Viktor is uploaded in 1080 HD quality, but the scenes of him alone? Fighting to survive? Showing remarkable resilience in the face of his suffering? No, that's not as fun. Not a single one of those scenes is uploaded fully, and I have checked many times. (Some people have actually skipped those scenes to focus on Timebomb. I'm...)

I went online and looked up "why do people sexualize traumatized characters" because let's face it, it's real, it's interesting, and I cannot judge or else I am a hypocrite. Bucky Barnes, Loki, Ellie Williams, Dean Winchester, Vi herself, the list goes on much longer but I can't think of others off the top of my head. We connect with their suffering, and we are pulled by their experiences.

However, Jayce is such a complicated case because he is usually thought of as the greedy himbo that fumbled two baddies, or the confused bisexual, or the guy who lost it because of a situationship (much like Vi, who DID NOT lose it because of a failed romantic endeavor bfr). And then the plot goes and tells us, "Actually, yeah, his life outside of Viktor doesn't matter, he's not even supposed to be alive, because Viktor saved him. All of time is completely inextricable from Viktor." People hate meljay because she manipulated him and "trapped" him in a relationship or something, only to celebrate it when something suspiciously similar happens with the male romantic interest? I initially thought it was beautiful too, bc Soulmates, but man. Mage!Viktor really left the man he loved to rot in complete isolation, eating raw reptiles until throwing up, losing his mind. Say what you want about the allegory for Viktor's life, at least Viktor's isolation was metaphorical up until the Glorious Evolution.

Despite us being shown this, people make thirst edits of him in his black fit, and fighting with sexual tension with Viktor. I fear...that I am the only one who finds this tragic. The man forced to create a larger than life persona to sell his work and be seen as an attractive pawn of the system, has become the attractive pawn of the narrative. Viktor's narrative.

Perhaps Viktor was forgotten by the world. But Jayce's kind heart, and brave soul, were forgotten by us.

Just some thoughts to chew about my favorite character and my wish that more people focused on his arc with me

[tsamsheadcanons]

So, y’all lemme pretend that everything is just whole fluff in this show for the sake of my sanity LIKE Y’ALL LEMME DREAM 😭 Like huh, KC, Bloodmoon and practically half of the characters died/have died once, what do you mean that everyone ain’t a happy little autistic family? YOU WERE TRAPPED IN A DIFFERENT TIMELINE, WAKE UP 🙄

SOOO WITH THAT LET’S GET STARTED! :D

Because Solar is still getting used to officially being a father for Jack, he sometimes gets REALLY overwhelmed by just the thought. Like, him taking care of another living being with its own needs that he needs to attend to 24/7? He LOVES Jack, don’t get me wrong – But he is TERRIFIED of failing this really important thing and failing to fill this role. It feels like an overwhelming responsibility that looms large over him because he feels SO ill-equipped to handle that – And that’s why he more and more doubts his parenthood because everything feels like too much for him to carry. And because KC is like the wise old dad/grandfather I DUNNO, he sometimes gives him tips about parenting and stuff and tells him it’s okay to sometimes doubt oneself, but you have to try your best! Sometimes, if Solar is just too tired and needs a nap, KC takes care of Jack and makes him a ‘marshwich’ – A marshmallow sandwich that has grilled marshmallows between two chocolate chip cookies! :D Jack and also Dazzle LOVE them! :D

Bloodmoon and Lunar ALWAYS used to watch Bluey and other kids’ shows together while the others were busy with work, with Bloodmoon often making fun of them and Lunar laughing alongside him! However, mentally, they’ve grown up a bit and still watch these shows sometimes, but not really often. And now, Dazzle and Jack ALWAYS watch these shows that they used to watch – And it feels like this bit of their ‘childhood’ or how you can call it passed down to them. It’s nostalgic to see them shake with laughter just like they used to – Two ‘kids’ laying on the floor, looking at the TV and watching their favorite cartoons together :3

Eclipse and Sun sometimes smoke together on the balcony, usually after a very emotionally heavy day. There are many different reasons as to why it was a draining day for them – For Sun, maybe it was because he had another panic attack again due to flashbacks of his past, or for Eclipse because he relapsed and had this utter self-hatred nearly strangling him again. But it is like a special moment when both do the same for different reasons – It just feels like connecting a bit. Not many words are exchanged, they just smoke in silence with the embers of cigarettes acting like small stars that they had pulled down from the mass of others shining above. [DAMN I’M SHAKESPEAR >:D]

OKAY LIGHT-HEARTED HEADCANON! >:D Moon and Solar write a My Little Pony fanfiction together (with OCs included of course, one of Jack that Solar added into the story and Sun added a OC of Dazzle :3) and every Sunday, they present it in front of the family like some PowerPoint presentation XD The family sometimes give them ideas on how to continue the story or flesh out the characters and are involved in making the project truly what it is! Both are EXTREMELY awkward about it at first – But then they’re the unstoppable autistic duo rambling about their shared hyper fixation a second later :3 It’s their shared project that they work on instead of actually doing the work that they have to do but procrastinate until the last day, relatable, I know 😌✋

I'M SORRY THAT THEY'RE SO LONG- 😭🙏

But no worries, I WILL RETURN WITH MORE! >:D But I will procrastinate that of course ✨😋

I love AUs where everyone is a big happy family

[macabrecravings]

sorry i do not mean to start an argument but... op and rbs,,, i understand what you are saying and i have made jokes about that too but oh my goodness can we take a step back for a moment /lh

boy kylar can have bpd and ocd too,,, mental illness does not discriminate LOL the only reason they are perceived differently is because of how you percieve gender and society

which is FINE !!! /gen

like i am not saying u can't prefer fem kylar, i love her too but i just find it weird to describe them as separate people 😭

I can take a joke but also the replies/post kind of come off as "girl kylar my mentally ill gf <3" and then . "boy kylar the rat freak" ... its fine if u are not attracted to men or have bad experiences w incels and men like him cause Kylar is Fictional... but 😭 this post encapsulates the gender discrimination my bf and i talk about being prevalent in the dol community so i felt the need to yap....

boy kylar - adorable pathetic disgusting little stink rat freak

girl kylar - beautiful neurotic bpd ocd yandere princess only i can understand

[starflungwaddledee]

kirbytober 2023 21 + 26 : fav characters + ship [ prev || next ]

putting this at the top because it's extremely important but i received a message implying that some folks headcanon these two as drastically different ages. you may headcanon whatever you like of course, but in my work i firmly think that they're both full adults who are at least 25+. this is abundantly clear in my work. i'm not interested in headcanoning any of them as literal children and i would never touch that shit. dni if you think that sort of ship would actually be okay. don't be a freak. thanks.

very typical to take your favs and then also shove them together but isn't that the point. anyway i have literally never seen anybody else ship them (if you're out there... hello... 😭) despite them both being very main characters and i don't know why?? they could be so cute i think...

they are both industrious adventurers, prolific hard-workers (team task doers), and a little cheekily competitive!

i think that bandee is no stranger to a wide variety of close and intense relationships; he's beloved by many and loves them all equally but distinctly in turn. magolor on the other hand has been sooo isolated and lonely for such a long-ass time, he barely knows how to be friends let alone really care for someone. bandee is smart enough to be suitably wary but kind enough to give him a chance despite that, which i think would knock him off his non-existent feet instantly. in reply, magolor could give him something unique by loving and prioritising him utterly singularly, in a way bandee wouldn't even have realised he was missing

in awtdy (pictured in the sketch page; if you see a tattered looking magolor in my art it's probably this au) in particular they are both thrown into the angst soup together and come out insanely trauma bonded at the hip. their friendship/relationship is central to the plotline; together they're working on a solution to the timeline anomaly, while also hiding that they even really know each other the whole time

[pleasedontcareaboutme]

It's missing my father hours rn so imma just dump a bunch of pictures here and cry

( sorry i don't know the source of anything I just had them on my phone)

(also dont read the tags i just need to let it out lol)

[ganondoodle]

so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-

but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again

(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)

i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)

weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward

but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.

right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)

[natsmagi]

adding onto my last rant from a while ago a little bit, it is fascinating how many people in this fandom completely miss the point of tsumugis character and misconstrue what hes actually about which, ironically, is just what eichi did. and its done in such a similar fashion too, such as making assumptions about his motives, his family relationship, and missing the point in why he chooses to look the way he does. and, time and time again, eichi has been proven to be WRONG about tsumugi. he misunderstood him deeply, and now its eichi whos stuck mourning the past while tsumugi has long since moved on, not the other way around, as tsumugi is on the path of getting his happy ending. and i dont get why people keep trying to take this positivity from him

(s. element epilogue 2)

[xxplastic-cubexx]

hey guys! just dropped him to say that charles xavier is a screamer in bed wait what who said that omg!!!

obligatory mention of charles xavier's soundproofed walls is Obligatory

[timelyrmdoodle]

I need to know… do you think Royal margarine is scared of bugs? Like would he scream and climb on top of furniture with a pantufla in hand ready to throw it (horribly) at the bug or is he a brave guy and just carefully takes the bug outside again?

(Please don’t mind this very oddly specific question, I just think it would be neat if you drew Royal margarine with a little (or big) buggy creature)

OH DEFINETLY THE FIRST ONE

he for sure SAYS he would confidently take the bug outside for you if asked and the bug would be safe and everything would be fine but i dont think he could actually even throw anything at it, hed cower behind buttercream until the bug either just leaves on its own or someone else takes care of it

this also reminded me of this one meme everybody was drawing from however long ago and i wanted to do it for such a long time and i did im sorry couldnt contain myself

also a bonus little doodle of him actually getting the courage to carry said buggy

he would only do this if forced to take care of it by himself with no outside help and then he'd be fine and boast about it for the next 2 hours

[lunarharp]

when an obsessed orufrey person plays ace attorney for the first time in a while

[aibouart]

compilation of my other fav palette challenges from the years past... i should do them again sometime......

chara #9 belongs to @askbookwormflareon

[carnivalls]

.

See the thing is. I know I'm good at writing. Like I have my weak areas or things I need to improve in, but it's not a skill I otherwise spend a lot of time feeling insecure about because a) if I don't believe in my writing literally who will b) if I want to publish my writing I ought to at least feel a resting level of good about it because editors and agents likely will not be cradling my face like a prize cat and telling me how talented I am while asking for their edits c) I've always had an audience for my writing even at its worst– I started sharing my original works online when I was around 16 & that really helped sell to me the idea of 'there will always be someone out there who likes what you do' d) untalented men never think this hard about the quality of their works and they always end up published anyway and e) I don't have many other thoroughly developed skills so why not have one I feel good about. Having said this. Awkward feeling to realize you're one of the authorial weak links in your postgraduate creative writing degree's social circle