#but people who are more likely to be able to tolerate it long-term can pass that benchmark

[wackywatchdotcom]

man, i have to go do something in a minute here, but i am CONSTANTLY think about like... how long DOES the average circus member last before they abstract?

we dont have a lot of information about the passage of time in general in the show (which is infinitely painful to me, who likes to know about technical details very in-depth. but i understand writing wise why its like this) other than that the first 4 episodes take place over the span of 4(? or 5, depending on how you interpret the ending scene of episode 4) (which this also intrigues me that 8-9 days will pass over the course of the show... and also makes me curious about just how eventful the average day truly is in the circus!) days and that everyone in the circus has likely been here for at MINIMUM 2 years

(i say that because jax says "weve been stuck here for years" which implies that all of the people there at the time have been there for more than one year and because of the plural years, a minimum of 2. maybe. he also could just be oversimplifying things but unless given reason to think otherwise im interpretting the line this way)

we know of a at least ~18 people whove been in the circus total, but i frankly think its more than that. we know ribbit abstracted before kaufmo, but we dont know when ribbit joined the circus, or how much time was between these

it also depends on how long you think the circus members have been trapped for. i personally think this has been going on for at minimum 10 years (i have my own hcs abt it being ~16 years, but thats just hc and based on a bunch of my interpretations of random details) but we dont really know this, and how long this has been happening, and how long kingers been here, and whether or not kinger has or hasnt been here the longest

like if its been like 5 years thatd mean like... 3-4 people join the circus each year (on average). if its 10 years thatd mean 1-2 people join the circus each year (on average). and we dont even know how many people the circus has in it at one time on avg!! like theres the theory it floats around 6, but thats just a theory and not smth we know for sure. point being, we dont even know how often people join the circus and that effects a LOT of things

idk..... i guess the question really is 'how often can a person last in the circus before they literally cannot take it anymore' which is a much sadder question. we dont even know how long ago queenie abstracted, or ribbit abstracted. did zooble know ribbit? did ribbit get here before or after zooble did??

it just haunts me a little

[solarmorrigan]

I have a lot of thoughts about Steve who craves physical affection, who thinks of his worth in terms of what he can do for other people, and who got very drunk at high school parties. This is one of them

CW for heavily implied past dubcon (not between Eddie and Steve). Please take care

-

Eddie has never seen Steve drunk.

At least – not up close. There had been a few high school parties back in the day where Eddie had passed by the “Keg Stand King,” but since he’s come to know Steve personally (intimately), Steve has barely touched alcohol.

He’s told Eddie the story of being drugged against his will and how he doesn’t want to repeat the feeling of losing control, and how he doesn’t like not being able to drive if he needs to, and how the hangover would probably just trigger a migraine anyway – and, really, he just doesn’t drink much anymore.

Yet tonight had been a special occasion: Robin’s birthday. She herself isn’t much for alcohol (for at least some reasons that match up with Steve’s), but drinking, she said, feels like a part of the birthday experience. She’d somehow gotten Steve to match her beer for beer, for “emotional support,” and it hadn’t taken long for the both of them to become entirely inebriated.

Time has apparently greatly eroded Steve’s tolerance.

Eddie had distantly expected him to be kind of a bitchy drunk—and he had become a bit cattier, for sure—but mostly he’d just become affectionate. There had been hugs for nearly everyone, and he’d spent the latter half of the party slowly migrating into Eddie’s lap, plying him with constant kisses on the cheek and giggling ridiculously at nearly everything Eddie had said.

It had been sort of adorable (not that Eddie will tell him that; no, he’s going to sit on that information until it benefits him).

It’s a little less fun now that he’s trying to cart Steve up to his room and into bed. Steve is a bit wobbly, and a lot heavy, and is much more interested in trying to cling to Eddie like a koala and bury his face in Eddie’s neck than he is in actually walking anywhere.

“Y’know, we could cuddle to your heart’s content if you’d just let me get you to bed,” Eddie points out when he and Steve have stalled out partway down the hall, leaning against the closed door to the bathroom.

Steve hums vaguely, tightening the grip he has on Eddie’s t-shirt. “But you’re out here,” he mumbles, nuzzling into the crook of Eddie’s neck.

A shiver travels down Eddie’s spine at the feeling of Steve’s warm breath ghosting across his throat, but it doesn’t go much further than a gentle, dying flutter in his gut. As affectionate as Steve has been, as hungry for contact as he’s acted all night, there’s been nothing sexual about it. It’s been all hugs and sweet kisses, not heated embraces and sloppy make outs.

Besides– Steve’s drunk. Eddie’s not going to take advantage.

He wedges a hand between himself and Steve and gently pushes Steve back.

“I’m coming to bed with you, you colossal dork,” Eddie says.

Steve blinks at Eddie, slightly unfocused. “Oh.” He finally heaves up and away from the wall, grabbing Eddie’s hand to tug him along as he weaves unsteadily down the hall. “Well why didn’t you say so?”

Eddie rolls his eyes, all affection. “Where else would I be going?”

Steve stops when they get to his room, apparently pondering the answer.

“Away?” he finally volunteers, half-questioning, as if he’s hoping he’s wrong.

“No, baby,” Eddie assures him immediately, leaning in to give him a quick kiss. “I’m staying. Gotta make sure you don’t choke on your tongue after you pass out, anyway.”

“’m not that drunk,” Steve says; he rolls his eyes and then immediately seems to regret it, reaching out for Eddie’s shoulder to steady himself.

“Uh huh,” Eddie drawls. “Okay, time for bed, big boy.”

Grumbling, Steve releases Eddie to shuffle over to the bed, where he flops down on his back with a sigh, jeans and all.

“Alright, not exactly what I meant, but I can work with this,” Eddie says, kneeling on the bed by Steve’s hip.

They’d managed to ditch their shoes in the entryway, but they’re otherwise fully dressed, and Steve is going to be uncomfortable if he tries to spend the whole night in his belt and jeans.

Steve squirms a bit when Eddie reaches for his belt buckle, as if he’s not quite sure whether to move away or not.

“Eddie…” he groans – an exasperated sort of groan, rather than the usual way he groans Eddie’s name when he’s squirming on the bed.

“Just hold still,” Eddie shushes him with a quick pat to the hip.

He gets as far as pulling the tongue of the belt through the buckle before Steve’s hands shoot out and grab Eddie by the wrists. His grip is surprisingly strong, considering how uncoordinated he’d been tonight, and Eddie stills immediately.

“Steve?” Eddie looks up to see Steve staring down at him, wide-eyed and apprehensive; hell, if Eddie didn’t know any better, he might say Steve looks… sort of frightened.

“Not– not tonight,” Steve says, enunciating carefully, and Eddie’s confusion only increases.

He doesn’t want his belt off tonight? Is that what he’s worked up about?

In the wake of Eddie’s baffled lack of response, Steve only grows more insistent, tugging Eddie’s hands away from his waist.

“Not while I’m–” Steve breaks off, licking his lips nervously. He shakes his head and adds quietly, “Please.”

Brows furrowed, Eddie stares at Steve a second longer. “Not while you’re…?” Then the penny drops, and Eddie jerks away from Steve so quickly that Steve barely has time to let go. “Oh shit, no. That’s not– no, I’m not– Steve, fuck, no, that’s not what I’m doing.”

Steve stares up at Eddie, the anxiety he’s a little too drunk to mask still lingering in his eyes.

“I promise, I was only trying to get your belt and pants off so you’d be more comfortable. For sleeping!” Eddie says quickly. “But you can keep them on if you want. Hell, put on more layers. Do you want a jacket?”

Distantly, Eddie realizes he’s rambling and tries to stop; it doesn’t seem to be helping.

“I– I know I was kissing you,” Steve says, then glances away with a grimace, seeming a bit more sober now. “Practically throwing myself at you. ’m sorry, I just–”

“Don’t be sorry. Don’t be,” Eddie says firmly. “Even if you were throwing yourself at me—even though you weren’t; like, I can tell the difference between cuddly you and horny you, okay?—but even if you had been, you can still say no. You can always say no. But I swear, Steve, I was only trying to get you comfy, that’s all.”

For a moment, Steve just breathes, processing Eddie’s words as carefully as his sloshed brain will allow.

“Are you still going to stay?” he finally asks. “Even though I don’t want to have sex?”

“Of course,” Eddie blurts, some dizzying combination of baffled, anxious, and incensed. “I’m only gonna leave if you tell me to.”

And even then, he’d only go as far as the couch downstairs (just in case).

Slowly, Steve nods, then reaches for his belt to pull it off in a series of determined, clumsy movements. He drops it on the floor when he’s done but makes no move to remove his jeans.

Eddie, following suit, resigns himself to an uncomfortable night. He strips off his jewelry and his own belt but leaves his pants on.

All the lights go out, save for a small, dim lamp on Steve’s desk, and then Eddie crawls on top of the covers with Steve, pulling the blanket from the end of the bed—a gift from Claudia—up over both of them.

A little of the churning, anxious mess in Eddie’s chest eases when Steve immediately plasters himself to his side, resting his head on Eddie’s chest (and Eddie just knows there’s going to be drool there come morning, but he can’t bear to move him). All the same, even as he hears Steve’s breathing even out into sleep, Eddie can’t get his mind to rest.

What has he done to give Steve the impression that he’d try to fuck him when he’s too drunk to really say yes? What has he done to make him think he’d leave if Steve doesn’t put out?

Nothing.

Genuinely and truly, Eddie can’t think of anything. There have been plenty of times they’ve hung out, even shared a bed, and they haven’t had sex. Sure, they’re active, but they do actually do other things together.

There have been other nights where sex has seemed like a sure thing, only to be halted by an apologetic look from Steve and the start of a migraine. There have been times Eddie’s called it off because his anxiety has reared up and bit him in the ass. There’s never been anger over it.

That leaves two options: it’s either an imagined scenario stirred up by anxiety and insecurity and alcohol, or… it’s based on a different experience, in a different time and place.

All things considered, Eddie has a terrible, sinking feeling that he knows which one it is.

[autumn-sweet-fae]

Jayvik time-travel fix-it Concept

So with the anomaly transportation theory gaining more support, let me pitch this to ya’ll:

Jayce and Viktor holding the acceleration rune stone between them in the chaos of the anomaly one second, and then standing together in Jayce’s old blown up apartment, with Jayce’s same acceleration rune stone bracelet held between them the next.

The two fall into each other, hugging and crying at both being alive together and being back before all their mistakes could be made.

They’re both restored to their younger selves, but also forever changed by their connection to the arcane. Viktor can still feel the arcane within him, not the consuming void of the hexcore, but a new awareness and understanding of the world he didn’t have before. He could also still feel the tethered connection to Jayce, those iridescent fingerprints reemerging in a glow when the connection is tugged, but otherwise hidden.

Jayce can still feel the phantom pains of his anomaly infected injuries, the webbed scars following into this reality, even though the bone itself never suffered the break. Jayce himself cannot sense the arcane as well a Viktor on his own, but when he tugs on their connection he can feel it through his partner.

And so here they are, two young scientist turned mages, sitting in the center of Piltover, a city that has no tolerance for any such magics.

It’s Jayce who suggest they leave for Zaun, take what they can carry and find a little place in the undercity to hide away, until they can figure out what they want to do next. Viktor finds himself agreeing, as there’s no way he can face Heimerdinger again without the Yortle clocking his dramatic change of character, if not his outright connection to the arcane.

Viktor would think of getting in contact with Vander, the man he found within the beast. He deeply regretted what he had done to Vander in their past life, and hoped he and Jayce might be able to help him in some way. After all, it makes sense for two runaways to seek to build an allyship with the leader of the Lanes, for both protection and potential work in the short term.

It’s in this moment then that Viktor is slapped with the realization that this is the very night Vander dies.

Refusing to let such a thing come to pass, to let Vanders beautiful dream for Zaun and his family be shattered once again, the two would start brainstorming what they could possibly do to prevent such an out come. It doesn’t take long for them to come to one troubling conclusion….

To instead ally themselves with Silco through using Viktors past connection with Dr. Reveck.

-

Later, when Vander discovers Vi’s plan to turn herself in, Vander and Benzo rush to stop her, just as they had in the main timeline.

Except here, no one comes for them. Not Captain Greyson and her Enforcers as they had expected, and not Silco and his goons either. Instead, the night goes on, and Vanders family is safe, not yet aware of the strings being pulled around them.

Until the next day, when Captain Greyson arrives for a privet chat. She carry’s two documents with her. One, the confession from Vi. The other, a warrant for the arrest of two wanted men who had gone missing last night. After stealing all the confiscated equipment from the lab Vanders kids had robbed.

She demands that Vander use his pull over the Lanes to fine these missing fugitives, and in exchange, she’ll push to have the search for his people dismissed. After all, one of the missing men, Jayce Talis, was the same man that lived in that apartment. And Viktor? A potential traitor to the academy and Piltover, to have no doubt helped a disgraced mad scientist like Talis steal back his illegal research and then smuggled him out of the city to his homeland of Zaun.

The Hound of the Underground will do what it takes to protect his family.

The hunt is on.

(Additionally, Viktor eventually wearing Silco down to rethink his takeover plans and maybe even Communicate with Vander. While Vander is getting back his spark to fight back against Piltover again between more arguments with Vi and maybe a confrontation with Jayce.

Viva la revolution + Zaundads couple counseling)

[brucewaynehater101]

None of the GLs interested their cities enough to get boons before they got their rings and once they got their rings it cut them off from receiving boons from any singular place on any planet since they technically had to belong to everywhere

Cities that have developed the sentience and enough sapience to be able to grant any sort of blessing or boon have to be BIG and have to have something that gives them weight of sorts in either historical or mystical terms or both would be better though some cities can suddenly awaken with the right catalyst. A city that can draw more people to it is a stronger city. Gotham got mystical weight first, twisted and bloody, and then historical as time passed. Metropolis had a catalyst in the form of both Lex Luthor and Superman. A lot of cities without as much history or distinction suddenly "woke up" with the catalyst of their heroes.

Those who usually catch the interest of the cities would be people who make a big difference, whether positive or negative doesn't particularly matter, what matters is that they are the sort that bring some sort of distinction to the city or they are the sort that keeps the city strong and healthy. Most importantly, they are dedicated to just that city, people who go about creating kingdoms and empires never receive any sort of boon or favor from even their capitol cities because conquering a city is the equivalent of one spouse cheating on another. Protecting other cities, or the planet in general, is somewhat tolerated as long as the main city is obviously the priority. Artists and writers tend to become city favorites after they're dead which doesn't really do much for them. (Florence is still throwing a fit that the remains of Dante aren't in Florence's custody) The Joker was something unique who brought a certain distinction to Gotham. Poison Ivy improved the health of the city to some degree. Tim kept Gotham stable even when it didn't want to be stable anymore. The city might also like those that seem to personify some aspect or some neighborhood within the city. Jason, for example, was Crime Alley to his bones, and not just the Crime Alley of the present, but also Crime Alley when it was Park Alley, before the deaths of Martha and Thomas Wayne put Gotham on such a downward spiral. The only other Gothamite that Gotham has ever found that so perfectly encompasses some part of itself was Bruce.

When the Joker killed Jason, killed her little Park Alley and made him into Crime Alley completely, Gotham felt not only the pain of the death of one of her favorites, but also got the echoes of losing Martha and Thomas again. That and the Joker had diluted his brand with Harleen who was generally better at the whole schtick so he wasn't unique anymore and he had seemingly abandoned and forsworn Gotham for another country with that whole really weird and pretty racist Joker being ambassador in the middle east bit. Then of course the Joker crippled Barbara who was the daughter of one of Gotham's chosen as well as a force that worked for Gotham's health. And Joker had become something that actively made people avoid Gotham and was messing with her whole power base of the population of Gotham. The Joker killing Jason led to No Man's land. Everything else led to Gotham hating the Joker as much as a sentient semi sapient city can hate anyone.

Dick, Stephanie, Duke, Cass, and Damian were offered boons and favors more or less because Bruce took them in and Bruce is Gotham's absolute favorite rather than because Gotham was particularly interested in them first. Tim is offered boons and favors on his own merits once Gotham calmed down enough to be sorry and realize their birdy is wonderful. Bruce personifies Gotham in many ways and he brings distinction to the city, is an example of Gotham's history, and people often come to Gotham to work for Wayne Enterprises aka Bruce's (and later Tim's) company.

Hmm... I appreciate the questions about GL being answered from this post.

More about this AU can be seen from this post

Anyways, I am truly vibing with the criteria for sentient semi-eldritch city beings. It does make sense that they would need either specific reasons/energies/events to develop into consciousness. Their different origins would probably play into how the beings react to certain people/events, what boons they give out, how many boons are possible, and their overall characteristics. They do not follow human morals and more so favor people based on their ability to protect, uplift, or expand the city... or how intriguing that person is.

As far as who of the Bats received offers of boons based on Bruce, I think this is limited to Dick, Cass, and Damian. Steph (if not for her own independent work as Spoiler) might have been offered a boon due to Tim. Duke, on the other hand, was part of the We Are Robins. Gotham would've been keeping a keen eye on him before he joined the Bats.

I'm curious what the time frame between "training to be vigilante" and "offered a boon" is. Tim is the outlier that doesn't count, ofc.

I love this AU and your additions to it. I'm curious what other notable figures (outside of the vigilantes and rogues) got Gotham's boon. Would the CoO have any?

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Some worldbuilding/lore HCs for the balance and structure of the Underworld.

The Underworld is broken up into seven different zones, all surrounded by a ring-like barrier blocking them off from each other. The rings have specific entrances, and you must have permission in order to legally pass through, although people do illegally slip through, but doing so can be dangerous depending on where you try and get in. While Zalgo is technically the king of all of the Underworld, he has six leaders who are in charge of keeping things running smoothly in the zones that he doesn't reside in. These leaders can resign or be replaced if necessary if Zalgo feels they aren't doing a good enough job, or if he doesn't like how they've decided to do things.

These seven zones are all ranked based on how dangerous it is to reside there based on strength. One is the least dangerous zone, and seven is the most dangerous. Slender (along with the creeps) and Zalgo reside in the first zone, as do a majority of the Underworld's human residents. There are no human residents in the seventh zone and only a few in the zones between one and seven. I don't think any of the human creeps in the mansion would be able to survive in a zone more dangerous than three, and I don't think anyone other than BEN and Slender in the mansion would be able to survive past area five. Most of those areas are occupied by eldritch beings, with the strongest and most elite occupying the seventh zone. Slender was raised in the seventh zone, where his mother was born and raised. Those that die and become demons/ghosts/eldritch beings usually spawn into the first zone, although they may spawn in other zones as well on occasion, but that can limit survival depending on the strength they receive.

The seven zones tend to have different ideas of how to exist. The first zone is the most like Earth in terms of its views on life and existence. The second zone is a work-focused ring that values working your whole existence for the benefit of keeping things running in the Underworld above all else and is filled with most of the ambitious inhabitants of the Underworld. The third zone values self-indulgence, full of hedonistic beings that go against the normal status of the Underworld to only focus on their own wants and desires. The fourth zone is where most of the mafia in the Underworld tend to reside, and where most illegal trade and actions tend to occur, and being full of violence and greed, most weak individuals tend to avoid this zone and the ones after it. The fifth zone prioritizes violence even more than the last, in what could be considered the military zone of the Underworld, being full of beings that focus on fighting and training and the development and distribution of weapons. The sixth zone is one of the scariest to live in, being run on a rigid dictatorship that presents itself as the happiest place in the Underworld, and any that show a single sign of depression or fear are often executed in this zone as its leader has no tolerance for anything but "joy", even if fake and manufactured, and this zone is known for medication production in the Underworld (including its own famously branded Smile Pills, a euphoric medication that demons there use to try to avoid losing the happiness their leader so violently strives for). The seventh zone is one ruled by the oldest and strongest of beings, and presents itself as one of elegance and violence together, valuing strength and power above all else, ridiculing the weak, and valuing the oldest traditions marked by the original surviving eldritch beings.

Every 100 years there is an event known as The Great Sleep. This is an event that makes or breaks the hierarchy in the Underworld because it can allow the weak to destroy the strong. The Great Sleep lasts for one month and occurs randomly. The strongest beings in the Underworld, eldritch/ghosts/demons alike, will fall asleep for that entire month-long period, and will not be able to wake no matter what. This is the only time that ghosts are required to sleep. Their bodies do this to allow them to rest and recuperate the strength required to control their power. Leading up to this, those strongest beings will start to become exhausted, often dazing off or falling asleep when they don't normally, and eventually, a mark will appear on their bodies signifying that they have been chosen. Once the mark appears, those that bear it tend to go into hiding, often in elaborately guarded and protected areas. This is because once they fall asleep, those weaker than them hunt them, taking advantage of their defenselessness and killing them (or exorcising/sealing them if they're ghosts) to disrupt the power balance in the Underworld. Slender's parents, Slender himself, Zalgo, and BEN in my canon are the creeps that would fall under this century's Great Sleep. Slender's parents have a hidden sanctum in which they sleep during this event, and as a proxy of Slender's, BEN would also be given access to this area. Zalgo has a protected sanctum underneath his castle which is heavily guarded. During this time, business tends to slow in the Underworld as underlings of those sleeping are left in charge of any businesses, and there's an increase in violence/danger, so most people don't go outside as much.

The six leaders established by Zalgo make up what accounts as a "court" in the Underworld, and they rule on different laws that are made, and how things are run and treated in each of the zones and the Underworld as a whole, however, there is a second set of leaders, chosen not by Zalgo, but by strength. As I've said before, there's a ranking in the Underworld of the strongest and most talented assassins, but there's also a ranking of the most powerful beings in the Underworld. These beings regularly compete and fight (and sometimes die) to try and prove their strength. The three strongest are able to join the court system and vote on how matters should be handled in the Underworld. The leaders chosen by Zalgo each get one vote, and the three strongest beings each get two votes. I there is ever a tie, Zalgo himself breaks the tie with a vote of his own. However, if a ruling is passed that Zalgo doesn't agree with, he holds the right to challenge it as well and refuse to allow it. There is often disagreement amongst the six leaders and the three strongest, as ironically, the three strongest beings are the ones advocating for fairness and equality, while most of the leaders chosen by Zalgo want a more demonic, immoral leaning regulation of the zones and laws. If you were to ask Zalgo, though, he'd agree with the three strongest. 

[yakuzacanons]

hello i saw judgment asks were open and i audibly cheered for joy! could i get some yagami dating headcannons both sfw and nsfw please!! i love this man more than life itself please bless me up!!

YAGAMI TIME MY BELOVED finally let's give it up for my boy ( I am in love with him???)

For a guy who does detective work for a living, Yagami can be laughably dumb and awkward. This is actually super adorable to most people, although he thinks it's super embarassing.

Super good at hiding his hand, if that makes sense. He will not tip you off in any sense with even the slightest hint that he's into you. You will not be able to tell by looking so don't try.

Definitely more of an "actions speak louder than words" guy. If he likes you, then he's going to see you. That's that.

One of the better texters of all of the boys. Understands emojis and responds pretty quickly. Does not understand any memes to save his life. Send him animal pics though, he likes that.

Don't be afraid to blow up his phone! He's a busy boy so he might pass out without remembering to call you, but if you call him he will answer, even if he's very sleepy.

Speaking of sleep, he's either sleeping like a stone or the lightest of lightweights. Depending on whichever kind of sleep he got the night before, he will either be very energetic when he sees you or the softest boy.

Genuinely not picky or choosy about what kind of partner he has. Super open minded and not judgemental at all (despite the game's title). Amazingly easy to talk to, especially with anything you struggle with. Super dependent guy and very supportive.

What Yagami DOES show when he's into someone is an interest in facts. Where are you from? When's your birthday? What's your favorite color? What're you doing today? Man has questions, man needs answers.

A confession is 50/50, he kind of goes with the vibe. If he gets the feeling you'd want him to confess first, he'll go for it. Not super showy but he does have a slight flair for making the moment cute.

Winner of most handsome boyfriend award. Even when you two are going steady, it will take a long as time for you to not get tangled up in how charming he is. Shit, that might never wear off.

He's one of the more experienced boys with dates, less so with long term relationships though. He knows where to go, what to eat, what gifts to get, etc. Don't ask him about decorating an apartment. He don't know shit.

Everyone always assumes that Yagami is not a sexual guy because he's on the quiet side (plus he won't openly flirt like Kaito will with someone he likes). Ironic, given that between the two Yagami is the top (more on that later).

Slightly higher than average sex drive, but working long nights all by himself have given him an ungodly tolerance so if you're busy, he can wait. Normally, he'd just jack off but in a relationship, that energy gets pent up until the next time you guys fuck so... watch out.

Again, Yagami isn't a picky guy and is pretty open minded so if you've got kinks, he's not going to back down. He's seen so much weird shit from work in general that it's super hard to phase him. Maybe like no knife-play though? There IS a limit somewhere.

Noisy fuck. Moans like a motherfucker and sounds damn good while doing so. Typically can go a couple rounds, depends on how tired he is. Also, he loves kissing in pretty much every form.

Two important notes: he looks super angelic when he's sleeping, so if you wake up before him, be sure to take in the view. Second of all: pull. his. hair. Just do it. Trust me. It'll be music to your ears. You're welcome.

[object-vault-9]

What are the vault parents like?

Here's some blurbs! They're long so they're under the split

Rake:

Spade and Shovel's father and the primary family they had throughout their life (besides each other). Before election, he was a farmer, but he was very charismatic. He knew what the people of the vault wanted, and he represented that over the competition at the time. He was basically "the man of the people" after a long time of corruption.

The vault terms are until retirement/end of life. As the overseer, he had a generally successful term, though he started to lose touch with the part of himself that made him so relatable, especially with the loss of his spouse. He changed , and became more protective, sometimes sheltering his twin children too much and keeping them involved with his leadership closer than he should have.

His decisions around how to handle the famine caused a split amongst the vault, first his leadership was challenged and then 'war' broke out. By the time the vault regained the control he had almost wasted away, and he left the leadership to his twins. No one was left in the position to challenge the young overseers.

Trowel:

Spade and Shovel's mother. Manager of the farm system. The whole system. Incredibly intelligent, but often more quiet and reserved than their spouse. She preferred to let other people handle the social situations. Fell in love with Rake when he was a farmer and supported him throughout his campaign, though she would often express how she missed when life was simpler.

She passed away from a terminal illness, and around her death came the first domino in the failure of the farm. The person taking over her position struggled, but the agricultural system the vault used was on the verge of collapse even if she was still alive.

They would often joke how it wasn't fair their whole family was so tall.

Shovel takes after her personality a lot.

Egg Timer:

It is really wound up and high strung, and it works itself up a lot. It is very righteous, like Timer, and tends to tick like she does.

It tends to be pretty serious all the time, and it can take a second to get a joke. Prone to yelling at other kitchen staff, but it works as hard as the rest of them and yells at people who mess with the staff even more. It's a feisty little timer.

It's very intense, and is quick to start fights and pick sides.

Light Bulb: 

They aren't very verbose, like Timer, nor are they very physically expressive. They tend to be passive, even to the point they get walked over. Despite how intense Egg Timer is though, she always gives them the space to talk.

They like joking around, especially if they're able to catch Egg Timer off guard. Prone to pranks. Their bulb lights up when they have an idea and Egg Timer knows to look out for that. They're a terrible liar, even with a good poker face.

Their face is basically always :) and :| and they're really mellow

They would spend more time with their daughter Timer with their lower paced job. Timer was bored at the time but she really misses doing the rounds with them.

Corkboard:

This guy has a major RBF, and it's not because of all the pins in his face. He and his wife handle the education in the vault, with Cork being the one to handle the more 'serious' topics like math and history. He has a low tolerance for shenanigans and a very strict, often cold personality.

He loves his son, but Push Pin is such a goofball that he was often getting in trouble with his dad, and used to think he'd just never be able to make him proud. 

Despite being a strait laced, stern faced guy, he did have a secret soft spot for the silly things from time to time. He'd surprise his spouse and son with little silly gestures from time to time, like small pranks or dressing up for a history lesson.

Paint Bucket:

Very artsy, very silly, people don't look at Paint Bucket and it getting along with someone like Corkboard, but it did more than make it work, it was the one that courted him.

Paint Bucket did art, english and music. And for science, she and Corkboard would work together to make hands on small science projects.

The vault was very low on supplies and its library was small so she'd have to be creative to make it work. 

Push Pin takes a lot after them, and it was sometimes a bad influence. When Push Pin would get in trouble for pulling a prank, Paint Bucket might secretly unground him. 

Vault life was very dull, often by design with the walls all looking the same and the life centered around keeping the farm alive, and Paint Bucket thought this was vital to keeping up morale.

[mannatea]

pt1

the people have spoken. it's awakening time (again)

man, when fe13 originally came out, the fandom was honestly so so fun. everyone criticized the game (it's FE fandom, what else are we good for?) but like, even the most critical people were generally also having a lot of fun.

anyway, i was looking through the files on my 3ds, and my brother's lunatic (completed!) file was still there. so was my original file. naturally i went and looked at my original file to see who i had paired up and it was pretty fun to see what i had originally settled on (and how they differ from the pairings i'd choose now).

some thoughts about my replay thus far:

i decided to go with female default robin, gonna hook her up with chrom since i never experienced that before.

i already feel like robin is more or less her own character in a way i haven't felt since i played awakening the first time. not a fan of amnesia but the whole passed out on the ground randomly thing feeeels like a nod to fe7 to me, so i'll forgive that part (but not the amnesia lol).

i don't love the oooh dark beginning scene movie stuff, but probably only because engage did that too and it was 10x worse than here, so i'm soured on it.

anyway, robin's brought into the fold (haha, a fitting term because of the shepherds...get it.........the fold...the--uhh) but adapts pretty well. most importantly, she hasn't done or said anything stupid, which already sets her miles ahead of corrin (sorry corrin, you could have been sooo good but you were not). then again, in corrin's defense, fe13 starts out a lot lower-stakes and so doesn't feel as insane/doesn't force robin in any particular direction.

i guess what robin has going for her is that she's here and she's chillin' but like, it doesn't feel like the story revolves specifically around her the way it does for all future avatar characters. like obviously the story will involve her later but it doesn't just start with her at the center of everything.

which. i never hated robin as a character, even on my first playthrough of the game, so it's neat to try to pick apart why that is.

it's honestly hilarious how little i remember of this game beyond like, the bare minimum details of the bad future timeline.

LUCINA! LUCINA! LUCINA! LUCINA! never underestimate my love for her.

lol. i remember how marth being revealed as an ancestor was like :O in the fandom at the time.

the start of the game is pretty...tolerable. i actually liked the very beginning because it feels like a good introduction to the world, but i feel like they start veering off a little too quickly for my taste. Not sure how to describe this exactly... um.

maybe this goes back to the amnesia thing for me? very quickly they're just using it as an excuse to infodump and it just feels really silly. it's like robin has selective amnesia.

don't get me wrong, i can forgive stuff like "i think i studied this? i think i can do magic?" shit as like, necessary more for the gameplay/introducing newer folks to the gameplay loop, but boy is it just kind of...silly in-game.

i DO like that frederick calls it out immediately but that doesn't really change the fact that chrom is a fool for just believing all of this without any good reason ("just a feeling" is so fucking cringe). yeah she helped defeat some risen but like. that's kind of meaningless? they're not people per se? honestly, if robin came in able to use healing staves and HEALED CHROM that alone would have gone a long way in making it make sense why he'd trust them quickly. just saying.

and yeah yeah i know chrom is a more trusting guy, but there are limitations to that. c'mon now.

them deciding to call the things "risen" in the first place is fine i guess but it's so annoying that there's no explanation of the name choice. maybe we're meant to make assumptions based on the name the council chose? i mean, i hope so. but since they disappear into smoke are we meant to see them as like, zombies/resurrected corpses or something...else? something created?

tbh i forgot about the risen entirely until the replay LOL that's how small of an impact they had on my give-a-damn i guess.

i'm sure i'll have more thoughts about them later. very curious to see how i feel about them by the end of the game/if they were even necessary in the first place.

you unlock supports really early in the game and they almost immediately contradict the events of the game if you do start unlocking them and watching them. for example, characters talking about "the war"/"the campaign." bro nobody's declared war yet LOL!

this isn't a criticism fwiw; engage had this issue too at certain points. i think it's fine to just assume most of the conversations take place around ch6 or later in fe13. i am, however, amused at this.

i actually like some of the information we're fed about the world and such. i always liked emmeryn and do remember her fondly, so the context of her father being not a good person and of emm putting an end to the war after his death but still having to endure hatred and heckling most of her life is honestly really good stuff. makes her a lot more compelling as a character. and the way chrom understands how hard that was for her is also really good.

this game definitely made me IMMEDIATELY miss the tighter focus that some older FE games had. like yeah there's a worldwide/contintentwide conflict, but the story/characters don't feel completely scattered.

again, i'm not sure amnesiac!robin was really the best choice? but maybe i'll change my mind. i'm probably just soured by it because engage decided to go the same route. the one thing i have to give engage credit for though, is that they DO allow the amnesia to exist outside of the start of the story. like, we're meant to understand that the amnesia affects alear and makes things harder for them. they're carrying on and doing their best, but not knowing/remembering people who are supposed to be important to them is painful.

not sure if we'll see that crop up with robin beyond the later "reveal" (as if it wasn't obvious from the start). i hope i'm misremembering that tho.

the biggest yucks so far in playing are honestly just character writing annoyances? idk. the klutzy shit with sumia. vaike being...somehow less than one dimensional. miriel. kellam. it's cool that they toss a lot of guys at you early on but i really feel like none of these characters were done as much justice as they deserve. and hey, i could forgive one or two issues. like yeah sure sumia is clumsy af because she's awkward. but to some degree it feels like some of these guys are ticking boxes for archetypes or specific traits rather than existing as their own characters.

vaike's especially bad, because i can see where they're borrowing from previous characters in terms of his personality, but at no point so far does he feel like he could be a real guy. (yeah yeah i'm a fanfiction writer, i can figure that shit out. but like. still. please. i'm begging. i just want well written characters.)

like for example, virion borrows some stuff from innes for his supports with sully (archer who wants to protect a melee/front line fighter), but he manages to feel literally NOTHING like innes. in fact, i'm sure innes would hate him if they met LOL. this actually endears virion to me in a way? like his archetype of "eloquent flirt" isn't my favorite by any means, but at least he feels like his own person.

i don't want to call this out based on memory but i DO want to say what i think my opinion on this will be in the future, just to see if it ends up being accurate. i remember when i first played the game, i got the distinct feeling/had this deep-seated opinion that the child characters were actually the "main cast", and that they were by far better written overall than the parents.

maybe i won't feel that way on this playthrough, but i was overall just really underwhelmed with the "parent" characters for my first one.

even without getting that far into the game, this makes some gameplay sense? the parents are literally there to create the child characters after all, and the children need to make some sense within the context of the world. if you over-write the parents you could easily make some of the children not make sense.

but man is it frustrating.

i used to low key wonder if the children should have just been the stars of the show from the start, but now that i'm replaying the game i'm not as convinced of that. but we'll see.

the outrealms/DLC along those lines? stupid as fuck. god i hate that shit. cards to summon heroes is literally so stupid and while i hate it slightly less than engage, it's just trying way too hard and takes away from the main story pretty much instantly. i'm sure no one thinks this shit is canon anyway, but goddddd it just immediately got on my nerves.

then again, DLC in general gets on my nerves, and fe13 and fe14 both were particularly bad about having tons of DLC packs/maps to buy. my rage knows no bounds. i do think DLC in 3h and engage was less awful but still.

i'm only on chapter 6 btw.

[foul-milk]

Sorry for posting a rant that should've stayed in my journal, but I'm hoping maybe I'm not the only one who's experienced this, and can get some advice. tw: suicidal ideation

I've been seeing mental health professionals on and off since I was ~8 yrs old, but even before that at ~5 my parents had to take me to get MRIs done for debilitating migraines, which I had to do again when I was a teenager.

I've mentioned to 2 different therapists, 1 psychiatrist and 1 counselor that I think I may have actual depression based on me experiencing more than 90% of the symptoms I've read about online. Every single time I asked if this was possible, they didn't even let me finish my sentence and cut me off with a wave of their arm and told me that's not possible and I shouldn't even think about things like this.

The psychiatrist I saw even told me (after only talking to me for around 6 minutes) that my issue is that I can't appreciate what my parents are doing for me and that I should be ashamed. She added that I should fix my accent in my first language, that I accidentally developed for going to an english speaking school for 5 years, because it's making me confused about my identity. I was told all this after a 10 minute "assessment", in which I specifically started with telling her that I'm scared because I haven't been able to stop thinking about killing myself for months. She never even addressed this, which was incredibly disappointing because it was the reason I went to see her.

Last year I vowed to myself that I'll never see a therapist again because after the years I've spent seeing multiple ones, I felt like my main issues were still there and I never even got answers for my questions and worries. I know this might be unpopular but I still stand by my opinion that most therapists are scammers who have no idea how to actually help with any real issues. Well, at the end of last year I ended up in an incredibly difficult and terrifying life situation that I tried to fix on my own but ultimately just couldn't, so I decided to try something new and see a counselor instead of a therapist. My experience was better in that it was more future orientated and less about repeatedly ripping open old wounds and doing fuck all to heal them. It definitely wasn't perfect, but she somewhat helped me out of the situation I was in and tried to show me the options I have. But once again, when I mentioned my worry that I think I might actually have depression and a chemical imbalance in my brain, she didn't let me finish and brushed me off.

The reason I kept bringing this up to different professionals is because some of the symptoms I'm experiencing are significantly bringing down my quality of life. One of the main ones I'm plagued by is my inability to feel any positive emotions. Negative ones I can feel, but not all the time. For example, when a family member of mine passed away, I couldn't feel anything, which scared me. Another thing that's causing me issues is that I can't set any goals or dreams. I don't have a dream job, I don't have anything I want to study, I can't imagine what kind of life I would want to create for myself and I can't even set short term goals for just a week ahead. I don't want to do anything, and the things that I do right now (like my job, or anything in my free time) are just things that I tolerate, not because I enjoy them or want to do them for a long time. When I explained this she just blinked at me confused and changed subjects. I understand that happiness and contentment in life comes from within and not from external factors, but what do I do if I just can't achieve that, no matter how hard I try?

I'm so desperate to experience enjoying things, but I feel like since no one I talked to about this understood (or cared) what I'm talking about, I'm never going to get answers. I've heard that there is an issue in psychology with too many people getting diagnosed too easily, so what am I doing wrong that no mental health professional will even take a closer look at my issues? All my life I was just waved off dismissively and told that cannot be the case. Why? I don't understand what I'm doing wrong. Of course I don't want to have depression, but I need answers. I used to think that I only have problems because I'm still a teenager and my mind is changing rapidly, but I'm not a teenager anymore and the same issues still remain. What do I do? I really need some advice with this because I just feel so hopeless.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I love love love reading your posts, and the reblog re your food rules really stood out to me. As someone who has always had food issues and struggled with disordered eating (did not identify neurodivergence until adulthood) I have struggled without the help a parent who had the kind of insight, empathy, and compassion you describe. Do you have any thoughts on repairing dysfunction as it relates to food? Or on how to identify food rules that you subconsciously have that are Not helpful, and how to replace them with helpful rules? Please infodump if you so desire even if it’s not directly related to those two questions :D

I think maybe where I want to start is that my mom's actions as I described them are - I suspect - more the outcome of her own neurodivergent (undiagnosed) resonances with my own (late diagnosed like literally two years ago lol). There were a lot of good resonances! But some really bad ones too. She and I have had some good talks about that recently, although ironically this comes in the wake of her having a stroke and throat surgery with the result that she can't speak in long bouts anymore which has essentially FORCED her to start listening to other people when they talk instead of jumping in over them (her own ADHD presentation is in part deeply impatient and struggles with filtering the though to speech pathway, same as my own unfortunately). She's actually a very good listener these days! It was an adjustment for her not to get annoyed about not being able to talk, and she can still really only hold a conversation for at most 45minutes before she becomes to irritable to continue listening. But those are good 45 minutes! And I'm really proud of her for realizing that this was actually a good thing for her in multiple places and putting the work into it. She has always really struggled with change/transition and with long term consequence evaluation (shocker, same hat again) so I think it took the really dramatic and immediately visible consequences (of for example me going no contact, me explaining to her my experience of shared events/history, and literal near-fatal medical condition and post-op recovery) for her to navigate change. But she's doing it, and she'll be 65 next year so it's pretty cool that she's taking the time now to enhance and improve her life and relationships.

I think when my mom heard me ask her to tell me where to start eating on my plate, she had watched me struggle to eat for so long and had just never considered that I might not yet have the infrastructures that she so relies on to function.

See, my mom's approach to child-rearing was essentially: "my child will remain by my side as close to all times as possible, and while I am going through my life I will simply externalize my internal monologue at my child so it can absorb knowledge and context about the world"

And like. On the one hand. Mom. That is the MOST "I am not neurotypical" way you could possibly raise a kid, what the fuck how did you live long enough to have me and NOT KNOW???

On the other hand, because I am my mother's child, this naturally worked wonderfully and was a veritable Garden of Eden upbringing for me.

The places were it wasn't ironically enough, were the places where my mother submitted to someone else's expertise about how to care for me and then had to facilitate compliance with a parenting plan that neither of us could tolerate or work with. I couldn't understand why my mother was no longer communicating with me but rather passing edicts and overriding my concerns - a thing she had historically done incredibly rarely and almost always FOLLOWED UP with an explanation for why it happened. And my mother didn't know how to force me to do things I didn't want to because that was simply never something she'd wanted to or tried to do with me before.

The end result was about a decade of incredibly traumatic domestic violence that neither of us came out of unscathed. And that sucks. But we're both growing and learning together these days, so hope!

Anyways, as far as identifying and changing food rules, the answer is deceptively straightforward.

If I find myself pacing the kitchen in agitation about there being "nothing to eat" or I realize that I have reached within 3hrs of bedtime and still haven't had anything to eat, I literally sit down and stream of consciousness journal for the prompt "why did/didn't this happen?"

It usually starts with a lot of griping and crabby feelings and resentment of self and then eventually I will realize I'm no longer answering the question "why did/didn't this happen" and am literally just like. Mocking myself? In my head? For being a fuck up? And. Well, I know that's not helpful and makes me feel bad and also isn't an answer for why my day happened the way it did. So I remind myself that I am welcomed to feel upset at how things went, but that right now we're only asking why something happened, not how it made me feel. That usually helps me return to the logistical issues. Missing ingredients. Waiting too long to eat and forgetting about my grab and go's. Missing a dose of medication. Being more tired than usual. Carrying more emotional weight related to work than usual. Having an over-burdoned to-do list. That sort of thing. Those are places where I can problem solve. And like. Problem solving is executive functioning, and that's not really my strong suit even on the best of days but certainly not on days where I'm already not eating safely. But I find that writing out the problems like this makes them clearer, and then I can make thought maps** for each one. Once I have those down on paper, it's a lot easier to navigate the actual process of choosing and executing a solution to that issue. Often, it's basically a flag that something else in my life is Asking Too Much of my executive functioning, so there's not enough left for eating. That's uh. Not a sustainable or healthy thing! So I've found that treating it like a sign to start a "system review" so to speak can be really valuable. And often, literally the feeling of knowing what is happening and what I'm going to do about it, and trusting that because it's in my thought map notebook I won't just FORGET like ALWAYS is enough to let me get up and get a snack or a meal. Sorta like a pressure release valve on a pressure cooker I guess right? You vent the pressure before opening it up to see what it made you, you know?

Journaling is the vent. Acknowledging my feelings and hearing them as a communication of need from myself to myself and integrating them into my solutions that way rather than treating emotions as a direct 1:1 of need or problem. It's an abstraction I guess? Puts enough space between me and The Issue to look at it a little more openly. Makes it feel safer to trust that when I am asking for something from another person it's because I have identified a specific thing that I need and cannot or shoud not address effectively myself rather than making asks in anger or hurt. Also lets me realign my internal resource distribution to my needs. Win win!

I think the thing I always worry about is like. When I talk about my system, I use a lot of really confident and clinical language, and I worry that even when I emphasize that I am talking about a thing that is a part of my personal system, people will hear that as "and so if you are experiencing the same manifestation of Issue than this will work for you" but like. It's not the thing, you know? It's the mechanism/algorithm prescribing the thing, right? So like. That's really dependent on Your Personal Context Of Self, and there is REALLY rarely going to be any honest 1:1s. Plenty of coincidental successes! But it can be risky to put too much stock in that right?

Food rules work well for me in part because I am largely a wilful person who has a reflexive rage response at constriction of any kind. I love rules because they help me not have to make decisions, but I also hate rules because they make decisions for me that I would rather make myself. This means that a "food rule" is not just a support system for me. It's a litmus test. Am I fully in reflex mode? If so I will probably lash out at and reject the food rules, which means the food and the food rules aren't the problem, something else is enough of a problem and I am abscuring it enough from myself that I have turned FOOD into a threat to my system. And like, even that is a flattening of the role this serves right? Let alone why it works for me personally. I really don't want to suggest that food rules are the answer to not being able to eat because for you they may well not be! For a LOT of people they may well not be. And even some of those who find it effective may benefit from understanding WHY it works for them in case their why is different from mine.

Honestly what it really comes down to for me is "how can I look back on a situation where I did something I don't want to do in the future or want the OPTION not to do in the future in a completely non-judgemental way?" It's pure function right? If I don't feel in control of my choices, for me that's statistically likely to me emotional or physiological causes of dysautonomia. So the question is: am I in threat mode? Or is it a medical symptom? If the former, why am I in threat mode and how do I have autonomy in that dynamic? Etc.

Finding measure points where I recognize "I have not maintained that conscious thought pattern, how do I get it back" is helpful to keep me from getting too far away from my baseline before I can correct course I guess. My relationship with eating is one of them. What "downtime" activities I can tolerate or enjoy is another. The ranges of time that I conceptualize as equivalent in experience to each other is uet another. Some I can keep track of myself, others I ask wifey for help monitoring.

I think of it kinda like leaening to bowl with the guardrails up, right? You still have to learn what you can do to ensure you bowl WELL, but there's some scaffolding involved to keep you from falling down into the gutter when you aren't yet perfect at performing your life. You gotta find out what guardrails matter to you and why and how you can create them or seek them when they aren't immediately acessible. It's a lot, but it's always felt worth it. I think what matters most is learning how not to scold yourself when you're thinking about something that didn't end up how you needed it to, even if literally only you could have changed the outcome. A mistake is a learning opportunity, not a festering wound. Getting that to become your truth just kinda. Changes what your options are somehow. And if you live in a life where that's not treated as truth, it can be devastating to try and make that switch, regardless of whether or not it ends up being worth it to you.

[dukemeropide]

30. What is their preferred level of activity and stimulation? How do they cope if they get either too little or too much?

Character Dev Questions | still accepting

This answer, unlike the last ones, is mostly headcanon. By and large, I think Wriothesley prefers mental stimulation over physical, contrary to how he may appear (I think back to all the impressions that came out around the time that his designs were leaked, most of which tended to lean more on Big Tough Guy Who Lets His Fists Do The Talking which, while different from canon, is still valuable in conveying how he might come across at a glance, and what kind of assumptions a stranger might make about him). I pull this idea from the fact that he has multiple lines about picnicking in the sun, or lying in the grass, and that his favorite time of day seems to be when he can have his afternoon tea. All of this portrays a character who enjoys physical leisure.

Where does boxing fit in? Wriothesley says it himself: it's not a hobby. From his character stories, we're told that boxing has always been a means to an end for him, first to gather strength and tools to kill his foster parents, and then later to win the credit coupons needed to survive in the Fortress of Meropide. We're also told that after becoming the prison's administrator, he doesn't fight in the Pankration ring much anymore. He's earned himself a comfortable life at this point, and no longer needs to rely on this to make a living. His line about the imitation Pankration ring for the teapot also has him declining the offer to fight in it.

All that is to say: I think if given the choice, in terms of physical activity, Wriothesley would prefer lazing in the sun all day. Obviously, he's muscular and fit, but like with boxing, this is probably borne from necessity.

Mental stimulation, on the other hand... his office is full of books. He talks about how he'd sought out the long lost history of Remuria and read history texts on it just out of his own curiosity. His character stories say that he has "always seemed to be preparing for something," whether that be learning to build meka to defend himself with, amassing credit coupons to take down the last administrator, or building a flying ship for some vague disaster in the uncertain future. Wriothesley comes across as the kind of person who needs projects, and planning for and building toward those projects is rewarding for him. Likewise, his drive to learn appears to be at least partly driven by the possibility that such information might be useful one day, which also seems to be what drives his interest in listening to other people's stories (i.e. finding people he might be able to hire for projects later on).

Overall, I think he has a high tolerance for both mental and physical stimulation (I imagine you'd need to, to run a prison), but to cope with having too much of either, from these two lines --

(Teapot: Nighttime) Wriothesley: The daytime hours are always full of sound and fury, so I've developed a habit of saving work that requires more considered thinking for the evening. Wriothesley: However… I'll pass on that while I'm here. Allow me to space out for a little longer.

(Good Night voice line) "Good night. I'll be staying up for a little while yet — want to run some numbers while everything's nice and quiet."

-- it sounds like he seeks quiet solitude after the bustle of the day, whether to work or to simply unwind and space out for a bit.

[the-trans-advice-blog]

Long Vent, apologies in advance (feel free to ignore this):

I'm a bit worried about whether I can transition (legally and medically) cause I live in south africa and I'm just scared the seemingly lack of formalized trans healthcare is gonna fuck stuff up for me, doesn't really help that I everyone I know and know of irl is cis, every single person besides me is cis. And my non-transphobic parents still don't believe that I'm not their little girl even after being out to them for about 2 years. And they're the most liberal family members i have, the rest are extremely conservative and transphobic. And I'm just fucking scared. For fucks sake I don't even have the guarantee of hearing or reading my name anywhere each day. Like atleast I've got a few friends who are extremely supportive of me (one of them continuesly telling me that she does not understand why anyone ever thinks I'm a girl cause I already pass as a cis guy lol) and it fucking sucks that my school is a conservative Christian school (not like america public schools can be religious here) where I was the second "girl" to have a short haircut in the entire school and it's a massive fucking school. Counting me atleast there's 4 people who have short "boy" hair and have to wear the girls' uniform. On that topic I fucking hate that I can't be out to teachers, the teachers regularly make horribly transohobic comments without being prompted to or even knowing about the one half-out trans kid (me). Like i hear shit like teachers saying they believe trans people are truly sick in the head and that they want kids to out their trans friends (luckily my friends are nice enough not to do that) and I hate the girl's uniform I gotta wear and I hate it all and I've still gotta deal with high school for 2 and ¾ years. And idk my mental health has been really bad lately and this all doesn't help, and i love being trans, I just want to atleast be tolerated for it amd have a bit more stable future planned in terms of transition. And I want my parents to fucking be able to help with that, they're wonderful parents otherwise sonjwnush I could just rely on them a little for some of this shit.

idk I'm just scared and tired and dysphoric and I feel very very alone

(On another note, I appreciate your blog a lot, you're cool)

I’m really sorry to hear you’re going through this. Obviously there’s nothing I can say to make it magically better but I hope you do know there’s a huge community out there who’s happy to support you in whatever ways we can. I’m not sure how safe online spaces are for you if your family is conservative but you’ll always have a safe space here to talk about whatever you need to. I hope one day you can get out if you want to, or that something’s changes in the area you’re in. High school is the worst, especially being trans, but I know that you can get through it! I’m really happy you have some supportive friends, and if I were you I’d maybe try to make some online ones if you haven’t already just because it seems like the people around you won’t be very safe.

I wish you luck on your journey and I really hope things get better for you.

[birlwrites]

I was looking thru ur athv worldbuilding tag and was wondering if surrogacy was a thing in sacred 28 circles (or families that care about legacy/continuing their line)?

ik you mentioned that being queer is pretty much acceptable as long as you can pass down the bloodline (aka acceptable for everyone but the heir or lord). surrogacy or a drawn up agreement with someone where “you make/carry my heir and then we never interact again” would fit those needs and was wondering if it would even be on high society’s radar to try something like this.

I could see it as something that’s very scandalous or not good for alliances maybe as an argument against it but I love your worldbuilding and wanted to know what your thoughts are on it (if you have any ofc! if you dont/havent thought of it no worries lmao)

- A

i have indeed thought about this!!

so the thing about marriage, as an institution, is that it is fundamentally about property and resources. marriage among nobility is about forming alliances so that you can use your combined resources to do stuff that benefits you both. then having kids cements that alliance - can't annul it when there are people with both bloodlines. they literally represent the tie between your families

and in the dark network, those bloodlines are especially important, so your kids would Have to have parents from both families - now, let's say of the people who got married, one of them can't/shouldn't have children for whatever reason. a surrogate from that family, ideally/almost necessarily a full sibling for bloodline reasons - either as a donor or someone to carry the pregnancy to term - would be an acceptable substitute. it's not like, *venerated* really, because you're like. Supposed™ to be able to procreate with whoever you married. but sometimes shit happens. so it would be like, tolerable but kept on the DL. you don't want to admit you had fertility troubles, especially because that might make *your* kids seem like bad prospects (within the dark network where bloodlines Really Matter)

so yes surrogacy exists, but the marriage aspect is important as well for the sake of the power struggles within the sacred 28 - it's not purely about reproduction. and nobody wants to admit they had trouble conceiving. it's not something that's discussed or raised out of thin air as an option. more as a last resort if you're unable to have children the "normal" way (envision me saying that with a massive eyeroll)

[anryuuepic]

Test Subject: Neptune Bio

Name: Test Subject Neptune

Species: Ghiasuli

Race: Bluescale

Role: A Test Subject of Winterkill Works, formerly from the Ghiasuli side of the border. Relaxed to a concerning degree, he doesn’t seem to be concerned with any of the disturbing happenings around him. His power is one of two given to the Test Subjects that didn’t backfire. 

Affiliation: Winterkill Works

Gender: Male

Age: 19

Height: 6’3

Appearance: Neptune is a tall, thin man with a lanky, narrow build. His skin is tanned from time spent out in the sun, his eyes are the same blue as a cloudless sky, and his features are gentle and relaxed. Light blond hair falls to around his shoulder blades (with the lower half of it dyed a bright, shimmering turquoise by Apollo), and his bangs are kept pinned up. 

Personality: Neptune is, above all, slow-paced. He’s relaxed to the point of detachment from the world around him, seemingly lost in his own head at all times. Aimless and lacking ambition, he’s content to merely lie around and let his life pass him by, uncaring of what he misses. He moves at his own pace even if it inconveniences others, but while he’s far from apologetic, he doesn’t go out of his way to cause trouble or distress. Those who approach him are met with open, unguarded kindness, though, and he’s the type who tolerates a bit too much from people before he’ll fight back. Secretive, he doesn’t voice the things he thinks about, preferring to let his inner world remain a mystery to everyone, his true thoughts much the same.

Positive Traits: Neptune’s laid-back nature can be a benefit to him. He rarely gets caught up in stress or anxiety, and has a particular sense of confidence that comes from just plain not caring about much of anything. He’s generally an approachable, pleasant person; someone who’s easy to talk to and easy to trust. Being around him often drags others into his pace, bringing a sense of calmness to otherwise tense situations. He’s extremely psychologically resilient and good at helping others as a result. 

Negative Traits: At the same time that it’s his greatest asset, that laid-back nature is Neptune’s biggest flaw. His apathy hurts him more than he realizes, especially in terms of a lack of connection with other people and a lack of control over his own life. He’s utterly aimless, having no hopes, goals, or dreams outside of things that he fully believes are impossible. In the end, he’s the type to do nothing but lie around and daydream about better things while never actually trying to improve the situation he’s in. 

History: As a teenager, Neptune worked on a ship at a particular Ghiasuli lake. He loved the water and open sky more than anything, but a lack of money and means to live eventually drove him to accept an offer from Winterkill Works to become an experimental subject, which required him to leave the country and his job on the ship along with it. He’s never had family or friends that he was close to; just himself and the two-part world that he adores. Leaving that is what he regrets the most, out of all of it. 

Relationships: Neptune is generally tolerated by the other Test Subjects. Venus finds him particularly troublesome, though, and Apollo considers him a dear friend— they’re the only two Ghiasuli present, after all. Neptune himself is open to interacting with whoever approaches him first. He won’t go out of his way to make friends or form relationships, no matter how much he enjoys company when someone does find their way to his door. 

Interests: Neptune likes the sea and sky, long naps, and being able to do what he wants. He dislikes feeling trapped, getting caught up in conflict, and being lectured or scolded. The only thing he’s done since becoming a Test Subject is lie around in his room and sleep the days away. 

WW Role: As one of the specially selected Test Subjects, Neptune was given a particular experimental power. In his case, it was superhuman resilience— in the sense that his healing is accelerated, his needs for food and water are drastically lowered, and more. He’s one of two Test Subjects whose power didn’t backfire, and he feels some level of guilt over that. 

Miscellaneous: Neptune loves the ocean; despite how dangerous it is, the sight of it fills him with incredible joy. The blue in his hair is from Apollo; it’s grown out since the surprise “gift”, and he’s been too lazy to cut off the still-colored parts. People tend to assume he’s older than he is, for reasons he’s never been able to figure out. He greatly dislikes the weather of the Daryan country, especially how dry and windy it tends to be. He insisted on having his room’s ceiling painted to look like the sky he so fondly remembers so that he always has that familiar sight to look up at when he wakes. 

Connotative Description: A relaxed, yet apathetic man, detached from the world, who does nothing but dream of better things. Lacking connection and purpose in his life, he’s reached a point of giving up on ever having more.

[embrysunrise]

NOBODY ASKED SO HERE'S A LIST OF ELI'S CHOCOBOS

Spider - Company Chocobo Eli's first chocobo, Spider was named before Eli actually knew or understood chocobo naming conventions. Spider is the bird that sparked Eli's fascination and later special interest in the birds as a whole! Spider is an easygoing bird who has trusted Eli since day 1, and has been a loyal friend. He's getitng on in years but that's not going to stop him from being by Eli's side every step that he can. Eli left him stabled during the events of ShB, which affected his health slightly and while he's recovered, it definitely gave Spider's age a chance to catch up with him. Someone once asked Eli what Spider's full name was and in a panic Eli responded "Spider Lemon." When Toshi asked him why later, Eli's only response was "Because he's not orange." It is now a running joke that Toshi will only refer to Spider as the name of various fruits.

Onyx Rites - Black Chocobo Eli's chocobo given to him as a gift from Haurchefant. After The Vault, Eli had a huge time struggling to be around her because of what she had meant to him and to Haurchefant, as a symbol of flirtation and the only real living memento of Haurchefant he had left. It took him nearly a year to recover from the loss, during which time Onyx was left in the Fortemps stables. After Eli began to recover, he took Onyx out for a walk in the Coerthan highlands and ended up playing in the snow with her, in the most innocent and free moment he'd felt since Haurchefant's passing. Eli redoubled his efforts to repair the relationship with her and now treats her with pride. So long as they're traveling to an appropriate climate, Onyx is usually the bird that Eli will take out for his gathering expeditions, since she doesn't seem to mind the stop-and-go as much as some of his other birds.

Bite Bird - Draught Chocobo When it came out that Eli had a way with animals, someone offered him their "troublesome bird" in hopes that he would be able to find a good home with the WoL. Eli immediately agreed and named him Bite Bird very shortly after meeting him, for obvious reasons.While BB doesn't seem to particularly like anyone, he tolerates Eli more than he does others. Eli still has several scars on his hands and ears from BB being in a temperamental mood that day. BB doesn't really like to be ridden and is more content to be left to his own devices, being cared for and handled as little as possible. Eli gives him space, out of understanding and respect that sometimes people just like to be left alone.

Spark Lime - Race Chocobo Eli began breeding and racing chocobos shortly after realizing it was an option midway through ARR. He proved to have a talent for it and began breeding and raising birds specifically to prove to himself that he was capable at doing so. During Heavensward, Toshi and Eli were technically criminals and so Eli wasn't allowed to race under official terms at the golden saucer, but he had become such good friends with the attendants at the tracks that they were willing to let him try his hands at challenges and time trials during the off-hours, so long as he wasn't seen or caught. It was during this time that Eli raised Spark Lime, who ended up winning Eli the champion jockey title. Since he wasn't officially allowed to race, the win was never recorded in the logbooks and still to this day Eli hasn't re-done the races to get on them in an official capacity. He feels proud and knows what he did, and has no reason to prove himself further. Plus, he thinks it's funny. Spark Lime was retired with all of her lineage after this win, and lives out her life in Eli's prized bird herd.

Max Capacity - Chocobo Carriage Completely by chance while traveling, Eli and Toshi came across a merchant whose carriage bird just would not move. The merchant was raising hell and shouting all sorts of insults, tugging on the bird. Eli hated it, and rather than stand by, Eli approached the merchant and cut him a deal: If Eli could get the bird to move, then they were his. If not, he would pay the merchant 10,000 gil. The merchant couldn't pass up the opportunity and watched in furious amazement as Eli adjusted a piece of the chocobo's harness that had been too tight, soothed the bird, climbed into the carriage, and rode off with Toshi without another word. Eli now uses the carriage to help with transport, give rides, or just for fun. Max is a very mild-mannered bird who is extra cuddly with Eli and loves to do his job more than anything in the world.

Amber Hill - Amber Draught Chocobo When Toshi sold his house in Ul'dah, he gave half of the proceeds to Eli and said "Do whatever you want with it." Eli smiled and disappeared for a few days. Returning to Toshi, it came to light that he had paid an exorbitant sum to reserve an amber draught chick. Known for being mainly carnivorous, half-feral, larger than standard chocobo breeds, and difficult to control, these birds were only available by special reservation and was the one time Eli has ever pulled the "I'm the warrior of light" card. He raised Amber from a chick and while her temperament has proved to be a handful, she respects and trusts Eli. She requires much more work, interaction, and exercise than his other birds and so Eli is most often seen riding her. Amber Hill has tried three separate times to eat Toshi when he was a lalafel, almost succeeding once. Now that Toshi is a catboy, he's not entirely sure that Amber has let go of the idea. Toshi has been quoted as saying "I've never felt more like a prey animal than when she looks at me." to which Eli replies "Yea."

[investspherewealth]

Innovation, Strategic Approach, and Right Guidance: The Key Drivers to Empower Bharat through SIPs

In recent years, Systematic Investment Plans (SIPs) have shown to be one of the best strategies for accumulating wealth in India. SIPs are becoming a popular option for long-term financial planning in India due to the country's expanding middle class and desire for financial independence. However, three important factors—innovation, strategic approach, and appropriate financial advice—are what will determine if SIPs are successful for both individual investors and Bharat (India) as a whole. To fully use SIPs' potential to empower individuals and spur economic progress, these pillars are essential.

Innovation in SIPs

The global environment of making investments is changing mainly because of creative thinking, and SIPs are not unique. As time passed, the standard SIP structure has changed, with technology playing a major role. With user-friendly smartphone apps, cloud-based services, and online platforms, SIPs are now easier to set up and manage for investors than they have ever been. Furthermore, cutting-edge strategies like flexible SIPs, step-up SIPs, and goal-based investing provide tailored answers to suit the various demands of various investor types. These kinds of developments will be essential to allowing more individuals to engage in wealth generation as digital penetration raises in India.

Strategic Approach to SIPs

Proper strategic planning is the basic foundation for a successful SIP. Since many investors in India are still getting to know the advantages  and disadvantages of wealth management, it is more crucial that they have a strategy that suits their risk tolerance and financial objectives. The key to successful investing is to get started early investing in markets, stay disciplined, and examine and alter the portfolio on a regular basis based on market conditions. SIPs have consistently produced returns over the long run, even in turbulent market conditions, according to historical statistics. For example, SIPs in equities mutual funds have outperformed traditional saving vehicles over the last 20 years, with returns of up to 12–15%. In addition to guaranteeing capital growth, a strategic strategy helps reduce market volatility-related risks.

Right Advice: The Game Changer

The importance of strategy and innovation remain the value of professional guidance cannot be observed. To make wise investment selections in a nation as varied as India, where financial literacy levels differ, it is imperative to obtain the appropriate counsel. Expert financial advisers are able to advise investors on which SIP plans best suit their time horizon, risk tolerance, and financial objectives. They can also offer insightful information during market downturns, assisting investors in staying focused on their long-term goals. Studies show that those who get expert financial guidance are more likely to become wealthy over time than people who just make self-directed investments

How InvestSphere Can Help

InvestSphere is committed to empowering Bharat by providing investors with the right tools, strategies, and advice to make the most of SIPs. Through its innovative platform, InvestSphere offers a range of services that make SIP investments easy, transparent, and goal-oriented. Whether you are a first-time investor or someone looking to optimize your portfolio, InvestSphere’s team of experts provides personalized guidance based on your unique financial situation. With a focus on education, InvestSphere also helps investors understand the importance of long-term investing and offers insights into the best strategies for SIP success.

Conclusion

Innovation, a strategic approach, and the right advice are the key drivers that will empower Bharat through SIPs. As India continues on its path toward economic growth, SIPs will play an increasingly important role in helping individuals achieve financial independence. With the right guidance and tools, every investor can leverage SIPs to build wealth over time.

Disclaimer

Innovation, a strategic approach, and the right advice are the key drivers that will empower Bharat through SIPs. As India continues on its path toward economic growth, SIPs will play an increasingly important role in helping individuals achieve financial independence. With the right guidance and tools, every investor can leverage SIPs to build wealth over time.

website: investspherewealth.com