#its never fun to realize you dont like people
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the sad thing about hazbin is that its such a good concept but the more and more you think about it the more it falls apart just entirely. cause ive been thinking about the angels and heaven and hell and it just... doesnt make sense. if the angels are 'bad grrrr evil' why do you want to send your people there? who's to say that they won't be treated badly there? what about the people that they'e harmed there? how would they feel about seeing their potential killers/bullies in heaven? isnt the point of heaven knowing that theres no one bad there? the world isnt black and white, they had chances while they were alive to do good right? why should they get a third one after they realize the consequences? isn't that unfair? is there a point where they can't be redeemed any longer? is there a limit to redemption? what about hilter? could he hypothetically be redeemed by the hotel? they cant turn sinners away so theyd have to accept him right? what about valentino? how would angel feel about that? why are we so focused on sera approving the extermination when she was doing it to protect heaven but not lucifer who didnt give a shit about hell until his daughter talked him into it? why does he get a pass? is it because of that one framing with fire in sera's eyes? what if you put that in lucifers eyes? would people try to justify him?
it just... crumbles and i know they didnt have a lot of time but like... come on. i dont hate vivzipop at all in fact i really do like hazbin but i can only like it to a surface level is the problem. if i dig deeper than it crumbles and thats... not fun. i like helluva boss and personally... i think its better than hazbin it has such better writing despite being in the same universe but those concerns dont really apply because guess what? theyre never brought up.
anyways yeah... i hate that i cant truly appreciate hazbin without running into complications
#hazbin hotel#critisism#vivziepop#hazbin#hazbin criticism#vivzipop critical#dont get me wrong#i think shes a good writer#but this is not her best#like at all#i wanna enjoy this so badly but...#its so hard to
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hi, thank you. youve opened a can of worms that cannot be closed
killer is such an interesting character to me. i realized that im not actually too sure where to start but ill start with his timeline;
the idea of a character whose home was slowly destroyed for reasons outside of their control and beyond what they couldve ever thought was real is an incredibly interesting concept to me. i also love psychological horror and reality breaking type of things in relation to it.
to be transformed into something outside of the bounds of definition, and live with the consequences of that, of your loss of autonomy is terrifying. to be named under that total loss is horrifying. to know that everybody will only know your name and never what you went through to get there, that no one would even really care. not that you could get yourself to. theres so much potential with the idea of someone who wants to drain your world of everything for entertainment, and they can forcefully recode it, and they do not care about you because you are just a game character to them. and you are the only one aware of this. and when youre taken out of the timeline by a strange man who can also forcefully shift your control of your situation, everyone will only know you as just as bad as him. as a murderer with no reason. and every time you look at this man (nightmare) all you can feel is the same hatred you feel for yourself. you cant help but feel like youre the same. but this isnt about nightmare as much as i really do love him and writing his character (also super passionate about him)
i have a lot of problems in general with his fandom portrayal and the fact that we either see him as portrayed as either incredibly childish, dumb, very sexualized, etc. and its okay to want to write him how you want to write him, have fun, just not our cup of tea
to us, hes incredibly agile, quiet. hes eerie and incredibly smart and much more aware of whats going on than he lets on. he has lost all respect for anyone who claims theyre more powerful than him, and the way he taunts is by bringing them back to his level (or just doing things he knows pisses them off but not enough to get him killed for it. massive staring problem and wont elaborate on it). and while he can be flirty, where i understand the sexualization comes from.
i think i just crave more in depth characterization from him. how terrifying he is during battles, how he knows the knives he fights with better than the air he breathes and the placement of his feet just as much. how he could be using his magic but its difficult to fight him even without it. the absence of what he could be doing and the presence of how difficult what he is doing showing through. his disconnection from the world around him and how hard it is to realize that everything around you is just codes. that everything is malleable in the wrong hands and everyone lives their lives blissfully unaware of how quickly things can change. and how he could be deeply angry by this but never actually feel it well in his chest like he sees with others. he isnt indifferent, and at some point, somewhere he might express that care. but he cant. and this is it. and he doesnt know how to move on from that.
maybe when he gets close to people his relationships end up showing slow signs of trust. when he does trust people is he surprised if they leave? how scared is he to depend on anyone when no one was ever there to? maybe one day he finally learns to sleep with his chest or back exposed and around people. and his version of hanging out is going "hey i know a spot" and its a 50 minute walk through a closed off forest but its beautiful. and youll probably get some diseases, just gotta hope you dont. the next place is probably a feral cat colony hiding in the sewers hes been feeding and slowly gaining the trust of. hes weird.
in general i really do love complex characters and think about them a lot. and i love seeing how complex characters can be written. i love exploring the possibilities with him and i find that when we either write him or collab stories where we write characters interacting with him, we have a lot of fun and end up thinking about him a lot.
my friend @nullandvalid is a big killer enthusiast too and if you send him an ask you could probably get a big rant too. (also @thaltro. both him and null write killer super well imo. been incredibly fun to listen to them talk about how they write him and engage in writing stories with them) thank you for giving me time to yap about it, ill probably be thinking of more in the meantime but this is all i have atm fhahaha
another one for fun, pretty experimental. this one was one of those "draw regardless of whether or not you think it looks good" things. swore to myself the next utmv character i drew and posted was gonna be fell but here we are. gonna try to get used to posting things that i dont consider my best work. hi killer love you dude
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clarity really is the most brutal of muses
#rens ruminations#feb 15 2022#yes this is valentines day related#fun facts#i am growing#its never fun to realize you dont like people#whether thats a friend youve had for going on three years#or its the person youve been going on dates with#rose colored glasses#but like tinting the past#i just want to feel something#really really old draft#still single in 2023
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they should get to kill each other at least twice .i think
#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#lg doodles#i drew this a few days ago but im so tired after work ngl . sittingnin bed like =__= ..#and im visiting family this weekend so idek if ill get to it until next weekend#but ya i love them i loge them so much#i love the tension in atots right after stanford comes back#and hes like writing sll this shit ab stan in the journal#while learning that he stole his identity and so on and stans like hey so i did this rly selfless thing for u can you at least#acknowledge it and they r just stewing in their own anger 😭#actually i love their dynamic so much . the arguing as they mimic each other 1:1 and rhe animosity and#ykw im gna make another post but the grammar stanley scene is my favorite#magbe its not post worthy nvm idc but thats probably one of my fav interactions in the whole series#its so stupid that u know its real HELPPlike yeah that rly isnjust how it is . in fact ive done more over less 🫶#HAHAHAHAH#ugh.love . lovee i wish#i dont think gf needs a continuation im totally in the 2 season boat here#but if they ever did a post series stan and ford exploration ohhh believe . trust tht i would not shut up ab it ever#i want to see them talk so bad . im so greedy bc i feel like they didnt talk enough in the series bc im partial 2 them i just want them in#everything .#i think their personalities are so fun esp bc ford isnt the annoying nerd archetype i like that hes a cocky bitch#and i like that stan is an equally cocky bitch and they both have too much pride that they butt heads over literally everythjng#but they also recognize how ridiculous it all is like 😭. even when theyre fighting over the journal they both r like ok pause r u ok#hmm.. so many ppl here capture their dynamic well too.😭at least the people who dont generalize either into a single personality trait yk#imso tired im tired#but guys i love talking ab ford and stan theybr so everything to me in ways i dnt think incould ever articulate like u see them and u just g#get it . ugh. turning my head and passing out . ford is so funny hes so stupid i love him i cant bekieve i was a ford hater im sorry ive#atoned im changed im a changed oerson i didnt realize the magnitude of his serve .but stanley as my day 1 will never change . just know .(k#idk if anyonf ever reads this fsr down but if u r here say cheesee📸📸
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the halloween special, i mean, Medieval AU continues>> the arrival of the grievously wounded Kingsguard disrupts Bastien's very isolated, very drunk rural village life - but in much different way than he expected. somehow, miraculously, Wolfgang slowly recovers, and the two of them spend many evenings sharing wine and stories by the fireside, finding each other to be pleasant company.
but how long will the vampire be able to resist the call of the priest's blood >:3
#oc art#original characters#art#sketch#medieval au#wolfgang#bastien#wolfien#comics#god this turned into such a meme fsifjs please i hope you enjoy#i had way too much fun sketching these#next time we will find out what happened in Week 3#to give you more context about bastiens little life he had plans of rising through the ranks and becoming a respected and rich bishop#instead he ends up assigned to a fuck off village in the south where the people dont really like him and he doesnt really like them#he spends his days tending to the few animals he keeps and tending to his shitty wine#when a knight comes knocking on his door hes like fuck. its the cops and they finally realized we havent been paying taxes#luckily for him this particular knight is in worse trouble than his whole village#i never know how much people want to know so i try to write succint posts but i have Lore for each of these interactions. feel free to ask
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one major difference i have found between service industry work (in my case food service but this is widely applicable to similar jobs) and other public-facing positions is that the job itself is often very similar because people is the same, it's just in service everyone approaches you already thinking they're right and you're a fucking idiot and its their god given right to disrespect you, where in other positions even if they are not nice to you they usually acknowledge that you know more than them on issues pertaining to your job. like the difference in behaviour from people who see you as serving them vs helping them is unreal. i am doing literally the exact same things. customer is always right mentality did irreparable damage to the fabric of society
#good idea generator#i loveee the library front desk everyone is polite and people will just ask you anything#they assume so much knowledge and access to data#ill be like 'just one moment let me look that up in the system' [googles name of school + upcoming events]#also not in a mean way but i never realized until i worked here how little anybody is googling anything#i think its funny and i also love to google things for people so i am perfectly suited to this#and some questions even though they are googleable the issue is more that the person isnt totally sure what theyre asking#but like. the library hours are visible on the home page. and outside the building that you just walked into on a sign#PPL DO NOT READ SIGNS. i knew that from other jobs but good lord people do NOT even GLANCE at signs#ppl would fully walk past like 4 signs about a specific thing and proceed to ask me a q about the thing. after waiting in a line#constantly CONSTANTLY ppl are trying to enter or exit through locked doors. clambering over closed signs to do so#its someones job when the library closes specifically to point out the signs and direct ppl to an open exit#and still often people will get up to the automatic doors and be baffled and confused as to why they dont open#but like even this i dealt w/this at my food service job and it was so frustrating#bc when you had to confront these people they would get MAD AT YOU. furious that they didnt read a sign telling them where to line up#but at the library people are polite and apologetic so you know it's not malice or entitlement ppl are just kind of inattentive#monumental difference tbh i actually love front counter so much people are so fun#and i like it when nobody is actively trying to kill me with their mind while we speak
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ok im listening to the doc and wow this dude really needs to move on from the 80s and get a life... BUT also the doc is trying to make it seem like all teens in the 80s 'identified' with these characters? is that true for you guys? i never did. but i also didnt identify with clue*less or even vero*nica mars which was pretty solidly my era. the doc is trying to claim that this hegemony of 'identification' is a good thing and that the multiple options of today is making it harder for teens to relate to each other as a group. but the doc is saying this from the pov of a rich white dude. i would argue that today's much broader representation - watching a korean american girl starring in her own teen girl rom com where she is shown to look past the racism of the 80s movies in order to enjoy sixteen c*andles.... I think that is a million times better than what came before. the definition of who could tell stories in the 80s was so much more narrow, it was absurd. and to all the boys was blatantly critiquing that. it was supposed to be sad that lara jean is forced to endure stereotypes just to get her movie romance fix. it's also notable in that movie that lara jean identified most with books, where you could kind of imagine a main character however you wanted even if technically you knew they didnt look like you.
tldr my question to my other 30 somethings would be if 'br*at pack' was ever a bad thing in your lifetime and if you actually identified with these kids in the movies who seemed to have no direction or care in life beyond their tiny little suburban world. cause that was certainly never me as a teen lol. fascinating to watch and fun to imagine living as but not relatable.
#jrnlsht#its like people who think miss swifts music is enjoyed by teen girls because they all identify with it#rather than it just being an appealing ideal and simple narrative to enjoy more than real life#also EVERYONE i knew growing up looked at the bra*t pack affectionately like breakfast*c*lub was idolized#it was a good story! it was fun to watch!#maybe 80s kids really did grow up that sheltered with a small world?#growing up in the 90s we were painfully aware of our place in the world and that even as children we had to have goals in life#and that there was no time for fucking around#but we also had 9*/11 and the poltical fallout which sparked debates at the middle school lunch table#i imagine teens nowadays are probably even more aware of global conflict around them than I was#or maybe my group of friends were just weird and everybody around us were clueless without our realizing#i dont think so though i give teenagers more credit than that#i mean i was younger than 10 when people started asking what college i was going to#not my parents btw im talking total strangers#my dad never put any pressure on me to do anything it was not his style#his style was disappointment if i ever put a toe out of line lol#like yes of course you arent going to college sure thats fine but still if you dont take the hardest classes and#get straight As you will shame me#which 100% worked i idolized my dad#and then i went to one of the top colleges in the country like it was easy 🤣
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yall have GOT to be more normal about deaf people
#maybe this is just the growing up with a teacher of the deaf and hard of hearing but yall need to seriously lower your expectations of what#deaf people can do. not even in an infantilizing way lots of people dont seem to realize that some deaf people cant read english because#they never learned english. “oh but they know ASL” that is american sign language not english. not every deaf person can read lips some dea#people are able to hear some etc. dont make fun of the way they talk dont call them deaf if theyve asked you not to. they dont have to#explain why but its often because of weirdos like this that they prefer to call themselves hard of hearing or experiencing hearing loss ove#calling themselves deaf
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people smarter than me have said this before but jesus christ why does every job seem to require at least a year of experience and a degree in some hyperspecific field. where did the entry level positions go? how am i even supposed to get experience if none of yall will give me a job without it?
#theres already almost nothing related to my field being offered but even the unrelated things that i think i could try are out bc of this#most of the stuff id actually care abt doing actually require 3-5+yrs! in a field that i cant get into without experience i cant get!#and people talk abt how 'nobody wants to work' i am BEGGING you for a job. literally begging (cover letters).#im coming to the horrifying realization that its possible Nothing i have done w my entire life matters. i have nothing useful#i really feel like i made a mistake. that cant be the best five years of my life i wasnt even happy during most of them#i applied to six jobs weeks ago and ive heard back from one of them and it was a rejection. and theres nothing else to apply to#my degree isnt helping and all of my hobbies are useless. why am i only good at/passionate abt arts. why not math or smth instead#i should have just done ece like i was planning to instead of my honours. what was even the point#and im watching other people in my year get great jobs right out of university. watching my BROTHER get offered work on a silver platter#hes 19 and got five different offers + didnt apply people just asked him to work for them. second year in a row this has happened#hes never had to work for minimum wage. hes always had a good job in his field lined up anytime he wants to work and it always pays well#and i finished five years and ive had to beg for everything ive ever gotten and its still not enough to count for anything#im proud of him but fuck it stings a little#levi.txt#vent tw#oh right i forgot i should just walk in and shake the managers hand. /right/. and they will simply give me a job on the spot bc of this#if people whove been working the same job since before 1990 dont fucking stop giving me bad advice istfg#and these same people say nepotism isnt real and in the same breath talk abt giving their nephew a summer job at their company#literally all i want is work i can be decent at that i care abt and making a living wage. it doesnt have to be fun i dont want to be rich#i just want to do an ok job feel like my work matters and make enough to start my life. thats all
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I keep thinking abt this one post on r/letterboxd where op was like "why are so many reviews for movies w two male friends always 'they should kiss' 'they're husbands' 'they're gay' etc. There should be real reviews and men should be allowed to be friends."
I keep forgetting that people genuinely use letterboxd for actual film review/critique, I just use it as a way to keep track of what movies I've watched and to see silly comments(if I want to read more constructive reviews, I'll go to the reddit post for the movie.) And also dying bcs I have written at least 5 reviews that are something along the lines of "they should've kissed!"
#i will never understand why straight people get offended????#like seriously dude how does people shipping two same sex characters#or even just commenting that they felt there were romantic/sexual undertones#even remotely affect you??#the majority of people probably dont even mention that kinda thing so just let me have fun dude 😭😭#maybe im tired abt how many movie characters are presumed straight! maybe i assume every character is queer!!#<- no but seriously. like if you presume every chara is straight bcs thats your pov. my pov is different!#like when they try to say '[blank] isnt gay! theres no proof' well is there proof they're completely straight hm 🤨#but anyways idk when i go on r/letterboxd i realize me and some people are using that site in completely different ways#for most films the top reviews are snappy comments so is that not the point??#but. main point. how people perceive a film or a characters' dynamics shouldnt offend you so much#its okay if you see them differently. i assure you that a small amnt of people calling them gay on the internet +#wont affect real same sex friendships 😭#catie.rambling.txt
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no lets talk about the lesbophobia and misogyny actually. tell me why a minor femslash ship pisses you off so much to the point you disqualify them when theyre winning and you cry that you got “fucked over” by the person who coined it and was clearly taking it in good fun? or do you only like femslash when it means your male faves can hook up without a girl getting in the way and feel vaguely uncomfortable when it exists completely independent of that
#like she was READY TO LOSE??? she had posts on her tumblr that were like ''lol itd be funny but i dont expect it''#and when op contacted her she was like ''hehe sorry didnt realize people would sweep but this is fun'' basically#echoed voice#just saying maybe op wouldnt care so much if it was two men who never interacted#its so funny. this website is like yayyyyy omg we love pure gay women love and then scream and cry and throw up#when even FICTIONAL (not even canon) (not even important) gay women get more attention than fictional gay men#in something thats completely for fun and does not matter or reflect on anything irl bc the characters in question arent even gay#like. idk i know its all fiction but the way you act about minor shit like this is telling to me abt how u feel abt real gay people
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genuinely confused at how my dad decided to get a degree in a scientific field
#i think it might have been a legacy thing from his granpa cause how else#that man hates everything that is related to science he hates learning he hates being wrong#it seems like he got all knowledge before age 18 and just stuck with it what he forgot he forgot it no longer exists#today it was earthquake denier basically his opinion is that over here there was 1755 and nothing else#just loud and dumb and wrong#i do Not get it. like i love science!! the whole fun of it is learning new things! especially at this surface level#where you can just get a bunch of knowledge about a bunch of different shit and broaden your library of fun facts and trivia#but he genuinely hates learning. idk if it hurts his ego to realize he is a lot dumber in a lot of different topics than a lot of ppl#like sir you who last studied earthquakes in 5th grade and never again do not know more than a doctor of sismology you just dont!!#like its not even close!!! that should be a good thing to realize! that people just go ham on their niche interests and end up#arming humanity with digestable knowledge!! thats so fucking cool! how could you possibly like science and not like that people know more#than you and are willing to teach and to share!!#anyway yea love science hate my dad the usual <3#rambles
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ok.
#wjatevr. i dont care#no actually i do care. its about morishige how can i not care#i saw a very interesting take on why morishige chases yuka (not the tutorial idea. thats also interesting though)#something about how he was protecting her and he was never going to harm her#and i was like huh. maybe i misunderstood because i played the game when i was 11#and then i realized i literally played it last week#i cant help but disagree? yeah he wasnt planning on hurting her. it makes the whole chase scene very funny especially if you get caught#he keeps repeating the same thing and me and my sister joke about it all the time lol#but anyways. i think that even in the manga he wouldnt have hurt her even though he hints at his intent being more malicious than in game#i love this scene because i love hearing people talk about why the fuck he did this#let me talk about the manga instead for a moment actually i think this scene is much funner there#he stops for a moment when yuka stops crying before he breaks into this very obviously malicious grin#like he was EXCITED. the darkening had already startrd to show and its very clear while hes chasing her#the whole time he was just messing with her. he wasnt planning to harm her in the manga either#because he literally catches up to her. and he could've caught up to her multiple times had he not been taking pictures as she ran#all he did when he caught up to her was whisper in her ear. so#yeah. he wasnt going to kill her or injure her like in the anime. but does that mean he had any good intentions?#im not sure how this could be described as him simply helping her#and i could be remembering wrong but doesnt he somewhat explain himself in book of shadows?#i remember him saying something about him just having fun and enjoying how scared she was#so ive always just seen it as him enjoying the rush he got from chasing someone weaker than him#because it was partially the darkening right?#im not one to say that morishige is inherently evil or always had a huge interest in gore or anything. becausw its not true#but i dont want to deface his character by warping his intentions to seem less malicious#i need to get a fucking journal this is getting out of hand#finn.txt
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like theres not a lot of games im REALLY good at so when there are ones i latch on super hard. and boy have i latched on to this one
#and i think part of it is that im on console and therefore kinda at an automatic disadvantage?#like no matter what you do you still will never have as many buttons or the quick cursor movement as pc#so you have to make do with way less hotkeys and either just Way Less Weapon Options or brute force your way through them#like most ranged weapons are Ass on console aiming them is so frustrating because you cant just Put Cursor On Enemy And Track It#and grappling is so much harder too#like i have played a lot on pc too so this isnt just me going 'woe is me this must be harder' like it is So Much Harder#i had to kinda build my own key mapping from the ground up bc the defaults werent intuitive at all#except jump‚ you dont feel like having jump on a trigger makes sense and then you set it to b or a and then the next time you want to jump#while shooting youre like Ah. Its So I Dont Have To Let Go Of The Aiming Stick To Jump. and switch it back in shame#but ! all of that combined. console is so much harder. so i think my brain was like 'alright well in that case#fuck you im gonna get good at it anyways' and now we're here#also i didnt realize until recently that most people play it multiplayer???#like i looked up something i cant remember what but it was like 'if you like most others play in multiplayer-' and im like#Wait Huh.#and it said something about the bosses kind of being more scaled for multiple players and that#single player makes it harder again#so im just like. clawing my way through mud and barbed wire for fun#its funny too cause i remember the controls thing almost made me drop it again but then one day i was like#yeah they are weird as fuck controls and complicated as hell but i bet if i did it long enough i could force myself#to learn it well enough to make it instinct#and sure enough !! like the grapple button when i first set it to b it was sooo hard to use at all#forget shit like grapple dashing or grapple dodging i could barely aim it while walking#and then i realized i had to just. only use the grapple when i could be pointing the movement stick the way i needed#so i couldnt use it as often or as versatilely as pc but i can still use it to some degree#adapt achieve overcome etc i fucking love vibeo game#sorry if this is bragging or weird im just very proud of the amount of skill in this game ive built up so quick#its my one (1) thing right now#my other ones are binding of isaac (not dead god but still p fuckin good tbh *tucks hair behind ear)#splatoon (2&3 specifically salmon run)#but those ones arent really active right now
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my fear of being found is so intense sometimes. I relate to those who are always running and hiding. one musician who has had to quit her career and must produce music in silence... she really resonates w me for this reason. some people are hell bent, obsessive and evil. and will not let you go.
#its been a fear since childhood#it reaches extremes sometimes. like having delusions that work acquaintances are stalking me#anyways this has devolved to some new fears with a recent things in my life#stalking has been a huge theme in my life i just never give it credende i push it down#whether it was the stalking i endured in middle school#or my mother being stalked by dangerous unpredictable men from work#or a 30 year old man online who would repeatedly threaten to find me. i was 10#my memories of friendship with that man are hazy#anyways#ive been in quite a few situationships this year. always sure to never give them too mucb info#they never get my address. they never get my secrets no matter how wasted i get#they get nothing#online however..#it all spills out#i just hope no one will ever find me#no facebook for this reason either#people will find you through those apps that sync contacts. people often dont check it off i notice#i see my abuser on telegram and insta but do not think he sees me. i always click the option to not sync#people will find you if they want too i have found.....#having my ex contact me via my roommate or google photos were 2 fun times of 2022#i only have recently realized how big of a theme this has been in my life#why do i sadly fear its common?..... this issue of stalking.. particularly the vulnerable. Women esp.#i know im not the only one who wants to hide all the time
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i worry a lot about some transfems and its not me trying to be like "im better than you" or some shit its bc some of them remind me of me when i was a kid and new into being considered a girl/woman and being really naive thinking people would treat me better than they would- like i knew people were gonna be shitty but i wasnt prepared for the sheer amount of dehumanization and being reduced to just a sex object... idk... I just want some of you out there to be careful...
#ik its hard to convey tone and emotion through text but i do really worry.#im sure people have felt the same way about me being new into being considered a guy too. Ik i wasnt prepared for how emotionally distant#guys can be. and how like. atomized we all are and how a lot of guys only know how to interact with the world through violence and#being a dick and .-. basically how a lot of guys are just bullies. idk.#i think if we have experiences that we think we can help others by sharing them and maybe preventing them from making the same mistakes#as us then we should share them yknow. idk.#for me at least it does in some ways feel like im a little kid again learning what its like to navigate a new social setting.#like i didnt realize how much playing pvp games with cis guys suck and ppl who grew up with that are just like. 'yeah. thats just how it is#im literally playing wow rn and playing on a pvp server and i literally never attack anyone sdhjdshjvvfd and ppl are just like.#dicks for NO REASON. im LITERALLY RUNNING AWAY. ugh#i get it dude! this is the only way you can feel like you have a big dick but cmon. you gotta accept the truth some day#^and having to learn to talk like that has been something ive had to adopt from dealing with cis dudes. fun#some transfems i want to grab by the shoulders and shake and be like 'DO YOU KNOW YOU'RE BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF'#with a desperate plea in my gaze#'I WANT TO PROTECT YOU BUT I ALSO KNOW PPL HAVE TO LEARN SOME SOCIAL SHIT ON THEIR OWN BUT BY GOD ARE THERE#SOME THINGS I REALLY DO NOT WANT YOU TO HAVE TO FUCKING LEARN ABOUT THAT I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER AND#IS UNFORTUNATELY LIKELY TO HAPPEN TO ANY WOMAN'#why am i becoming a parent. i need to stop. problem is i care too much about people in spite of what ppl might think .-.#i worry so much thats why i yell at ppl online bc i dont want them to get hurt or do something to fuck themselves over idk.#i just... dont express it the best way. like a gym coach or something 🤦#i really am Dad Vibes now huh. how do i stop myself from becoming a dad. i dont even have kids.#well. i have a cat. the eternal rebellious teen. but still#i need to stop expressing my care and fear through anger. its not great. ppl misinterpret me too much w it. but im not mommy enough to#sugarcoat things and coddle people if i feel like thats whats happening. so idk.#i realize this might sound patronizing and im not trying to be at all. to transfems with more experience this is like 'duh' to them probabl#but I'm more talking to the young transfems I see online who seem like they dont go out much and i dont blame them at all for it#its fucking scary out here. especially as a woman. esp as someone alt righters fetishize. and im sorry.
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