#its like people who think miss swifts music is enjoyed by teen girls because they all identify with it

[freebooter4ever]

ok im listening to the doc and wow this dude really needs to move on from the 80s and get a life... BUT also the doc is trying to make it seem like all teens in the 80s 'identified' with these characters? is that true for you guys? i never did. but i also didnt identify with clue*less or even vero*nica mars which was pretty solidly my era. the doc is trying to claim that this hegemony of 'identification' is a good thing and that the multiple options of today is making it harder for teens to relate to each other as a group. but the doc is saying this from the pov of a rich white dude. i would argue that today's much broader representation - watching a korean american girl starring in her own teen girl rom com where she is shown to look past the racism of the 80s movies in order to enjoy sixteen c*andles.... I think that is a million times better than what came before. the definition of who could tell stories in the 80s was so much more narrow, it was absurd. and to all the boys was blatantly critiquing that. it was supposed to be sad that lara jean is forced to endure stereotypes just to get her movie romance fix. it's also notable in that movie that lara jean identified most with books, where you could kind of imagine a main character however you wanted even if technically you knew they didnt look like you.

tldr my question to my other 30 somethings would be if 'br*at pack' was ever a bad thing in your lifetime and if you actually identified with these kids in the movies who seemed to have no direction or care in life beyond their tiny little suburban world. cause that was certainly never me as a teen lol. fascinating to watch and fun to imagine living as but not relatable.

[talkurtalk]

Hi here have a rant because I’m emotional in this Chili’s tonight:

It’s been a long, rough ride these past 16 months for me. Yes, I mean the entirety of 2017 and the beginning of 2018. My life’s been a rollercoaster of emotions and events that I wouldn’t wish on anyone, but I’ve gotten through it and now I’m hopeful for the future largely in part to one Miss Taylor Swift.

Firstly there’s the fact that I’m a sophomore (soon to be junior) in high school, and as anyone who is/has ever been a sophomore (soon to be junior) in high school will tell you: that is never easy on its own. I’m switching to a different school for next year because the school I’m at now just wasn’t working out. I’ve met some absolutely wonderful people, but the stress of always being too smart or not smart enough, or too good or not good enough has taken its toll. As anyone who’s ever met me could tell you; I don’t do molds, labels, or boxes, and when you live in a small farm town in the middle of the USA, you’re expected to fit into a mold, label, and box. Overall I guess I’m just glad that this chapter in my life is ending, even though I’ll definitely miss seeing some of my friends’ faces every day. Here’s to my new school being better, as they claim to be.

Next, things get a bit more emotional... so brace yourselves. I don’t like to talk about this with people face to face, in fact I refuse to talk about it, so what’s my solution? Put it on the internet for a bunch of strangers to read. Because logic. And because eventually I’ll tie everything in to involve Taylor Swift, like most everything I say, because I have a HUGE thank you to put into words.

Approximately 9 years ago my mother was diagnosed with a terminal cancer called Carcinoid Cancer. I don’t know exactly how long they predicted she would live, but I just knew that there was no curing it, only treating it and keeping it under control for as long as possible. (After all I was 7 or 8, so I really didn’t fully understand what was happening at the time, just that my mom had cancer). I never had a great relationship with my mother, and some of the fault was definitely mine, because I was a snotty little pre-teen for 5 of those 9 years who was going through the “oh my god mom, stop embarrassing me” phase. Every day I really wish I would’ve stopped and realized how wonderful my mother was before now, but I can’t go back and undo things, and frankly I’m still trying to get to the point where I can be okay with that, but It’ll just take some time. 

I’ll admit I don’t really want to share many details about how things progressed over those 9 years, I apologize for that, but it just makes me a bit uncomfortable to talk about. Just know that things progressively got worse, as they do with terminal diseases. 

My mother was admitted to the hospital on August 24, 2017 after the second time last year that her liver basically shut down because of the cancer. (The first was in January, but she had seemed alright after that) My dad had been out of town on a business trip, so I ended up spending the  majority of the night at the hospital with my mom and some close family friends (I don’t have any siblings and our closest biological family lives halfway across the country). He flew in right away and got to the hospital at 3 in the morning on August 25. 

My mom spent the next full day in the hospital, then the next night and was released the morning after that. To put it frankly, she had been alert enough in the hospital to tell us that she wanted to be at home for her end. The weekend of August 26th and 27th, my dad and I stayed home with my mom and had multiple of hers and our friends stop by. I went to bed that Sunday night expecting to go to school like normal the next day, and well, let’s just say when I expect things to be normal, weird shit happens.

My dad woke me up at 6:45 am on Monday August 28 to tell me that my mom had passed away. See, I’ve never been good at handling my emotions, so I didn’t cry right away, but I just kind of hugged him while he cried. There were PLENTY of tears from me in the following months- and I am so grateful for my dad for being there for me during the really bad days I had.

For any of you swities with really good memories, you’ll recall that at midnight on the night of August 24 Look What You Made Me Do was released. While it might seem like the absolute opposite of a comforting song in my situation, I really, truly think that it helped me get through that weekend more than anything else. At that time it was just so amazing to hear something new from Taylor, the person who I have looked up to for so long, and to have it be something so different. Plus, it’s the perfect angry song, and I’ll have you know that I was pretty angry at the universe during and after that weekend. I still am, but to a lesser degree. 

As the next single was released (...Ready For It?), and then the entirety of reputation, I discovered this new album and this new Taylor who had risen up from the dead proud, fierce, and happier than she’s ever been. This new Taylor who was a survivor, a real human person, and a goddess all at the same time. 

One of the few things that I allowed my mother and I to have a common interest in was Taylor Swift. (Yes, I actually didn’t allow myself to like things that I love because my mother liked them. I was a horrible little pre-teen to others as well as myself). I was pretty late to the swiftie party, as I really started listening to and enjoying Taylor’s music when I first listened to Red in 2012, but when 1989 came out I was full-on obsessed. My mom really liked the album too and was glad that Taylor was my biggest role model over some of the other celebrities that she didn’t really care for. My mom and dad surprised me with tickets to the 1989 tour stop in Denver, and I cannot tell you how excited and happy I was. My mom didn’t end up going with me, because she’s never been a huge fan of arena concerts, but she was always down to watch the 1989 World Tour Live video with me when we had Apple Music for a year or so. 

I guess my point is that reputation is really important to me because of its timing and overall message. Taylor is doing better than she ever was- she survived the fires and floods of the past few years and has grown stronger because of what she’s been through. If she can survive and thrive after all of that, I can too. And, when it comes to timing, there was possibly no better time for me that this album could’ve been announced and released. I honestly could not tell you where I would be today without @taylorswift and reputation. 

You empowered me to keep going Tay, and I am eternally grateful to you for that. You were one of the only connections between my mother and I as well, and in a way you still are. I can’t think of any of your songs without thinking of how excited or exasperated my mom’s reaction was when I played it for the millionth time. Or about how she would sing along ridiculously to Shake It Off and How You Get The Girl and All You Had To Do Was Stay, and I would roll my eyes and be embarrassed, but it was some of the best times I had with her.

On a more light-hearted note, it has been so wonderful to see how much you’ve grown as the reputation era progresses Miss Taylor. The reason I’m writing all this up randomly on a Sunday night at almost midnight is because of how happy and grown-up you looked at the Billboard Awards tonight. I don’t know why you winning those two awards triggered all these emotions in me, but it did, so here I am writing this now. Thanks to you, I think I’m starting to heal, and I know I’ve grown, even if it’s not exactly in the ways you have. I’ve never been in love, and I’ve never had a long list of ex-lovers, but somehow I know what it feels like to be ferociously angry, happy, excited, sad and loved, and I know I have you to thank for helping me put it all into words over the years.

So, from the bottom of my heart, body, and soul,

Thank You, Taylor Swift.

@taylorswift @taylornation