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day dreaming

redraw of something i had done around a year ago, and though this ones a bit more unfinished than id like but i should probably put it down

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if you look through this post, i heavily recommend you also look through the tags, because i agree (seeing two atm)

to add onto this conversation (and i should warn, my addition to this conversation is based around experience). i had been talking about it semi recently with my therapist and have some older experience, the therapy process on the socio-cognitive model has been harmful and i believe it to be as well. (our old therapist claiming that other alters only serve harmful functions no matter the function and putting their names in quotes, as if they were not an existing part, but imaginary). as i understand it through my current therapist as well, the treatment process is just "ignore it" i guess, in hopes that one will fully integrate by suppressing.

though, really, my barriers with a few of my head mates have gone down through communication / validating and asking why they feared things, why they were angry, etc., and has overall helped my stability to ask why they do the things they do opposed to act like they dont exist at all. and i find that experience with quite a few systems, and got my advice to do this from other systems online first

the idea that someone can just get it based on suggestion that they may have it is strange. i believe theres a difference in putting definitions and recognizing patterns in your experience versus suddenly putting on a play because you were "exposed to media with DID in it." crazy thing, but i think that when people say that they are experiencing something, we should probably listen to them.

i believe that its infinitely more harmful to tell someone that what they are experiencing isnt real and a result to exposure, opposed to asking "why?" people will be wrong, and professionals will be wrong sometimes: we were diagnosed with CRPS instead of hEDS, and as a result of not knowing what hEDS was, we believed that our experience was a result of the other disorder. neither can be shown on an xray or mri like a break can, and our experience did not match all of the criteria of CRPS, but that does not change that the experience was real, and rather demonstrates a lack of knowledge and resources than a simple "faking." the same can be said for really anything else.

and while correlation does not equal causation, it should causation should be considered when the comorbidity of trauma and DID is impossibly high. and of course, if you tell someone to shut up enough about really anything, they will. especially if that idea is dissociative and can be more ignored than hyper- responses, and especially if you are actively no longer giving them a safe space to be vulnerable. and, idk it just makes more sense to me that it would be trauma based, the brain does very interesting things in attempt to protect itself. both physically and mentally

i agree that there may also be genetic dispositions, and i hope that they research further into that. overall, i agree with the conclusion you have come to. and though ive said it all on call before so i feel a bit silly repeating all of my points in your reblog, i want to add discussion to my blog as well fhaha

Consensus on DID is annoying because there really isn’t one

The more medical research I do, the more I realize DID even up in the medical community feels like twitter discourse.

That is it say- polarized and heated. I mean I understand it, as of now there’s two main models the Trauma Model and the Socio Cognitive/Fantasy

To summarize for those who aren’t annoying nerds:

Trauma model: Dissociation is from traumatic experiences and cases amnesia barriers around personalities and memories

Socio Cog/ Fantasy model: People are suggestible and fantasy prone, DID is just fantasy and doesn’t actually exist

Now my psychiatrist who diagnosed me followed the Socio Cog model (which wasn’t fun) and explained my parts were just me believing I had alters, therefore the cure was “ignore it”. In all fairness the socio cog model is more complex but the conclusion is it’s false. The trauma model has flaws too in its studies, the definition of what severe trauma isn’t determined well. But despite that i do believe it has more merit then Socio Cog. I mean Socio Cog is heavily reliant on False memory syndrome which comes from a foundational belief that “you can’t recover csa memories” which is just provably wrong.

Outside of the medical community you have movements like the inclusive plurality movement which I find much more enjoyable to research than Socio cog. I do think they have interesting points! How I’ve concluded on the endogenic movement is that it tends to be very spiritual and religious. I wouldn’t tell a Christian that they are stupid to think they are talking to angels because I’m an atheist, just as I wouldn’t go out of my way to call an endo stupid for believing they have many souls possessing them. I think they have merit with brining research interest to personality disorders having similar structures to a DID system. (That is somewhat true because bpd is on the same dissociative level as osdd-1b) but a lot of it just sounds like self talk, imaginary friends, and spirituality.. not really comparable to DID.

What’s my current belief?

I think DID will probably end up being like BPD in origins. Mostly formed due to trauma and invalidating environments at a young age, but I wouldn’t be surprised if there were genetic dispositions. But my belief can change! I just wish more people gave a shit about the disorder to look into it. The false memory foundation and socio cognitive approach actively discourages research on the disorder. When I asked “why isn’t there clinics?” I was told “typically if you invalidate the belief in personalities the patient will stop reporting the issue” which made me feel shitty.

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I have a Pinterest! I have a lot of reposts without credit so,,,here’s my official account.

I don’t expect many people to follow me there, it’s just there’s so much posts without credit to me lol.

No hate just it hurts my feelings a bit.

I don’t have all my drawings on there but I’m slowly compiling them

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doodle dump

("we decided to treat soul impairments by hitting it with jackhammers and required meds removal" / "cool thanks." / "having a soul is a sin!!!" / "ok. cool new development") (the only thing between him and the unspeakable is sentience) (to be animated / creators kill us all 7 days fish now)

my handwriting is a nightmare, sorry

i wish i could explain to you how jarring it is to see your government set up camps that have already killed people and begin countless genuinely horrifying things that further exemplify the feelings of impending doom and paranoia, then in the same breath go on a rant about how "erm your famous childrens show puppet is actually the devil incarnate and a communist (they dont know what that is) because hes red and we actually need to start adding radiation into the water. yes it might kill you and the ecosystem incredibly quickly but you might glow!! thats so cool guys, we can glow. we're making it so you cant actually filter water anymore its illegal now and youll be punished to the full extent of the law for doing so." all beneath the face of a previously beloved dead dog

hanging in there though. spending a lot of time with my loved ones and writing. (and, at the very least, all of my personal feelings about it are serving useful for writing)

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slowly getting through animating fog and becoming more comfortable with my editing software. third try. featuring a little bit of psych ( @thaltro ) this time

love the posturizing filter. finally figured out how to do moving, consistent gradients in my drawing software. might try to find a more productive way of keeping a character that bleeds into background but nonetheless, good progress

edit: i should note that the star should technically be beneath the fog. i just didnt want to figure that out for animation purposes and didnt realize i could get away with it until i finished the entirety of the video 🙁 whoops. better luck next time

double edit. i just realized i put thr fog on the wrong side of their face. also my bad 🙁

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Sacralized Violence

took me 99hrs and 20 mins

fuckb

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hes so beauriful

Forgot to post this like 2 weeks ago

Psych <33

@thaltro

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made to eat and sleep forced to grind. made to live forced to grind. made to grind

my brain will be fried and i will not even know the miserable taste of the caffiene concoctions you made to tormenr me with because i will be stuck endlessly grinding. entertaining. these teal walls turn orange. the angel cats meowing bleeds into the instrumentals. everyone disappears. orange

its like nightwatch itd snjust likennightwatch

im glad you like it fhaha i love you. gonna work on it again today, had to pry myself off of it by thr time i ended up taking a break yesterday. cant wait for it to be finished

massive wip

saw this animation on tiktok a while ago and couldnt ever stop thinking about it. admittedly i started this project idk how long ago now but im able to work on it again. now you guys get the wip before tiktok does and im gonna take a break

scell belongs to @thaltro

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green., bgreen. 🙂

massive wip

saw this animation on tiktok a while ago and couldnt ever stop thinking about it. admittedly i started this project idk how long ago now but im able to work on it again. now you guys get the wip before tiktok does and im gonna take a break

scell belongs to @thaltro

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massive wip

saw this animation on tiktok a while ago and couldnt ever stop thinking about it. admittedly i started this project idk how long ago now but im able to work on it again. now you guys get the wip before tiktok does and im gonna take a break

scell belongs to @thaltro

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(Redraw) Where did I start? And where did you end? Did we ever end?

Again if you followed me in my old account @thaltro follow me here since I lost access

I projected a lot on this one ok (they are a system to me)

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(Redraw) Where did I start? And where did you end? Did we ever end?

Again if you followed me in my old account @thaltro follow me here since I lost access

I projected a lot on this one ok (they are a system to me)

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(Redraw) Where did I start? And where did you end? Did we ever end?

Again if you followed me in my old account @thaltro follow me here since I lost access

I projected a lot on this one ok (they are a system to me)

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WARMUP!!!!

ouughh i've been watching httyd and the netflix series with oneof my boyfriends for alittle while now and i Love her so much . ough. it's honestly a brreath of fresh air to actually have a series that pays attention to its world building and takes so much care to its characters. she's always been one of my favorites . i love you stormfly you are so gorgeous and deserve. All the chicken

she's so fun to draw . i Should get into drawing dragons again

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Download parasite?

sucks I lost my login to my og account, this was for an anon who requested fresh 💔

anyways if you followed me @thaltro please follow me here

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Well I’m stupid. It’s me @thaltro I accidentally logged out of my account and forgot my fucjing email,, now I have to start all over again. Great job genius.

Tried everything, can’t get it back. Well there goes all my effort building an audience. 😭

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no it isn't boy you will not be lost forever .

Well I’m stupid. It’s me @thaltro I accidentally logged out of my account and forgot my fucjing email,, now I have to start all over again. Great job genius.

Tried everything, can’t get it back. Well there goes all my effort building an audience. 😭