#its calmer here now but its wild thinking of how many people left

[i-post-posts]

Super bored so I decided to block all my bot followers and then I just decided to look through the blogs that follow me and about 90% haven't posted in the last year. Most of those haven't in several. It's kinda sad tbh

[sjsmith56]

Finding Jade - Chapter 6, Finding Jade

Summary: Jade dreams of Bucky after he fell from the train. During the day everyone relaxes in various ways. Bucky and Jade search for gemstones in the nearby wash. The day ends with a bonfire and singing.

Length: 4K

Characters: Bucky, Jade, Ben, Peter, Sam

Warnings: 18+ only, sexual content (p in v), accepting death, cursing.

Author notes: After a disturbing dream the rest of the day was pretty normal for the Avengers.

<<Chapter 5

〰️〰️〰️〰️

It's so cold.  The fall should have killed him but somehow he's still alive.  His left arm hurts so much and he tries to lift it but it won't move.  Painfully he turns his head to his side and sees a bloody mess where his arm used to be. 

"No, no, no...," he whispers.  "My arm, I've lost my arm."

He takes stock of where he is now, at the bottom of a chasm between the mountains.  How did he get here?  His arm hurts again and he screams at the pain.  He fell, that's right, he fell from the train.  Steve tried to reach him but he fell before they could touch hands. 

"Steve...Steve...I'm sorry pal.  This is the end of the line for me."

He looks to the other side and sees he's on a ridge.  There is a sound of water past the ridge.  If he can just get there he can end it.  End the pain.  End the certainty of freezing to death.  He's tries to move but all he feels is pain.  He's broken, too broken to end things on his terms. 

"FUCK!" he screams, over and over again.

A few minutes later he is calmer, more accepting of how he will die, the slow descent into darkness.  He thinks of his parents and his sister.  He thinks of all the women he slept with starting at the beginning.  He was 17, she was 19 and fast.  Cora thought he was pretty and he took advantage of it.  But she taught him a lot so that the next one, a few months later, Jean was her name... she was so pretty and willing, he made her come first and discovered women liked that, made them feel he was taking care of them.  He was sleepy and it was hard to remember the next one.  Beatrice, that was it.  Catholic, had gone to school in a convent.  She was wild for him.  They almost got caught by her dad as he fucked her in her parent's garage, in the back seat of her dad's car.  He wasn't cold anymore, in fact he felt warm and using his right hand he slowly, painfully unbuttoned his jacket.  The effort exhausted him and he forgot where he was in remembering all the women.  It didn't matter, there were so many and they all mixed together into one image.  A strange but compelling face, blonde, almost white hair.  Who was she?  He didn't remember her.  He would have....

"Jade," Bucky whispered, stroking her hair.  "Sweetheart, you're dreaming.  Wake up."

She opened her eyes, confused at first that she wasn't on the snowy ridge anymore.  Raising her left hand she was surprised to see her arm was still there.  Bucky stroked her hair again and she realized she had been in his memories, the ones she had stored during their mental connection.  She touched his face and he kissed her gently, asked if she was okay.

"I'm alright," she said.  "Bad dream but I'm back here with you now.  Can you hold me until I fall asleep again?"

She nestled her head into his arms and he pulled her body closer to him.  His hand found its way to her hair, her soft silky hair that he couldn't touch enough.  Making her feel safe was good, good for him as well.  It calmed him and made him feel needed. 

Now I look into your eyes

I can see forever

The search is over

You were with me all the while

        The Search is Over by Survivor

The word was out about the gemstone finds on the brief search of the wash where the rain had stirred up the old waterway.  A few days after finishing building up the roadway almost everyone wanted to try their hand at finding a treasure in the flotsam left behind in the wash.  Both Jade and Ma instructed people on what to look for.  The best moment was when Ma found gold, a small scattering in a pocket gouged out by the rain.  The metal, being heavy, stayed at the bottom of the pocket in little flakes that most people would overlook.  But Ma had noticed a glint and investigated further, finding the little bonanza.  There wasn't a lot, but it was enough to melt into a tiny rough bar that could go a long way on the next provision trip.   There were even some pieces of driftwood that must have floated on top of the water flow for miles to reach them.  Ma had the guys drag them back to the Bunker, said they could be used for carving, burning in a bonfire or leaving as is for a rustic but meaningful piece of natural art. 

Jade took Bucky out to a section where no one else was looking and they stopped to kiss and caress each other before searching.  He watched her intently as she kept her eyes down to the ground looking for good candidates. 

"Where did you learn all of this?" he asked.

"From Ma," she said.  "I was homeschooled because Ma thought the authorities would come after me.  She has her nursing degree so she isn't unschooled herself.  We used a home schooling organization for most of it.  Ma threw out the religious stuff saying I had already had enough of that.  We went to the Library, she bought books.  Taught herself jewelry making by using YouTube, then taught me.  We've done the same with Ben."

"It's really hit a chord with everyone," he said.  "This wash is full of gemstones and we didn't know how valuable they were.  It took you to show us."

"Fossil!" she exclaimed, running to the side of the wash. 

There were bones sticking out and she dropped to her knees to dig out more of it.  Bucky kneeled down with her to uncover it but they soon realized it was bigger than they thought.  Digging into his pocket Bucky pulled out a small GPS unit.

"We use these in case we get lost," he said.  "The Bunker coordinates are loaded in as home base.  If we get lost we just use this and hike back to the right coordinates.  I can save the location of these bones so that when things get back to normal we can let a university know for their palaeontology department."

"Good thinking," she said.  "Oh look, a piece of jade."

She dug her finger into the soil below the fossil and pried up a small piece of jade.  The top of it had been scoured by the action of the flood waters.  She held it up.

"It's the same colour as your eyes," he said, smiling.  "May I have it?  I have an idea for a project I can use it in."

"A project?" she laughed.  "Anything I should know about?"

"I'm an open book," he replied.  "You know you could always look and find out."

She kissed him.  "No, I'll only go in if you allow me," she answered.

He pulled her close and kissed her passionately, both of them on their knees in the soft sandy dirt of the wash.  His hand was in her soft hair and he caressed her head through it as they kissed sensuously.  When they finished he kept his face near hers, feeling her breath on his face.

"I can't get enough of you," he said softly.  "You mean everything to me."

"You know that I saw this before," she replied.  "I saw us kissing, making love and I wanted to show you all of it but you weren't ready."

"I'm ready for a lot more," he said, kissing her again.

He pressed himself into her and she felt his arousal.  "Later," she whispered and pulled away to stand up.

He stayed on his knees a moment longer before reluctantly standing with her.  She was already bending over peering around the ground.  He fingered the jade in his hand before putting it in the small coin pocket in his jeans.  He could start making the ring now.

As they got closer to the Bunker they could hear Buddy barking excitedly.  A piece of wood flew through the air and the dog came flying near them to catch it before it hit the ground.  It landed near some quartz and Jade went down on her knees to use her fingers to dig it out.  Bucky kneeled down to help and they discovered it was a huge piece, only the tip of it showing above the ground.

"Hold on," he said.  "I've got something that will pry it up."

Running to the workshop he came back with a pick axe and a shovel.  Jade moved back as he hit the dirt all around the quartz with the pick axe.  In all the directions it hit more rock.  Using the shovel he tested the ground to see how far away he had to go before he hit normal ground.  It was over ten feet wide.

"This is a quartz vein," said Jade.  "There's a good chance there's gold in it.  It might be in powder form though.  We can only extract it by crushing the quartz and putting the powder in a pan with water, swishing it around and watch for the gold to sink.  Hit it with the pick axe and see if you can chip a piece off."

She stepped back and Bucky took a swing at the quartz.  He knocked off a piece and Jade took a close look at it but couldn't tell for sure.

"Ma has more experience with gold prospecting," she said.  "You should mark this location so we can come back to it."

Buddy came flying back at a stick thrown in their way and they heard Peter and Ben laughing.  They both shook their heads at the unlikely friendship between 20 year old Peter and 10 year old Ben.  The next time the stick came out to them Bucky picked it up and threw it back at the boys, hitting Peter on the thigh.

"Ow, Bucky!" he yelled.

"You've almost hit us a few times, kid!" he yelled back.  "Throw it somewhere else."

"Good arm," said Jade, as they walked slowly in.  "Were you always this good or is it a super soldier thing?"

"A bit of both," he said.  "Pitcher in baseball, quarterback in football.  The serum enhances the abilities.  Don't know how Steve got so good at it, he was literally the 98 pound weakling.  He was always picking fights though.  Didn't like bullies.  Neither do I."

"We thought of putting Ben in regular school but he marches to the beat of his own drum," said Jade.  "I worry that he has doesn't have any peer friendships.  Even Peter is too old for him, really."

"Peter's been where Ben is," said Bucky, tossing the quartz chunk up in the air as he walked.  "Smart at a young age, socially awkward.  He was 14 when he first kicked my ass.  Then he was lost in the Snap.  So was I, Sam, and Wanda."

They walked without talking for a few more minutes, eyes lowered to the ground searching for gemstones.

"You used the time travel machine that they used to get the stones to go back for Steve," said Jade.  "You weren't even sure it would work."

"Bruce and I took the quinjet to what used to be the Avengers compound in upstate New York," he said.  "We left the machine in storage there after Steve returned to the past.  It was risky, because there was a lake nearby and you know how the Others are about water.  We gambled there were still Pym particles in storage with it and there were.  I went back with an extra suit and enough particles for Steve and Peggy to come back with me.  We thought of going back for Tony, Vision and Natasha but their timelines ended and couldn't start up again in the future."

He stopped and looked at her squinting up at him in the bright sunlight.  Never had he dated a woman who looked like her.  Most of the blondes he had known were bottle blondes, but hers was the real thing. 

"What?" she asked.  "Do I remind you of someone?"

"No," he replied.  "Most blondes I knew were bottle blondes.  Your hair is natural and so much more beautiful.  Were your parents this blonde?"

"I think my dad was," she said.  "I have no memory of what my mother looked like.  Ben looks more like his dad.  Do you want kids?"

"Someday," he admitted.  "I was pretty wild, chased a lot of girls, but I always thought I would end up with a nice wife and family after the war.  HYDRA took care of that.   I, um... never mind."

He started walking again, holding the shovel and pick axe in one hand, and Jade smiled.  He had broadcast his mind pretty openly in that little pause and she knew he was going to ask if she would have another.  She jogged a little to catch up with him and put her arm around his waist.  He smiled and put his free arm around her shoulder.  They kept walking, stopping once in a while to pick up an interesting looking rock.  The time they spent together was pretty tame by entertainment standards but they were both content and happy to be in each other's company. 

"Have you learned to ride yet?" she asked.  "I've been out a few times and I like it.  When Clint goes home I'm going to take over looking after the horses.  Maria has been helping as well."

"I've been out a couple of times," he admitted.  "It wasn't pretty.  I am a city boy after all, Brooklyn.  A motorcycle is more my taste.  I rode one sometimes when I was the Soldier and I remember feeling free on it."

He heard his name being called and he saw Ma waving to him.  Jade either didn't hear or was ignoring her mother.  Looking at his watch he realized he was a few minutes late for an appointment with Ma to teach him how to make jewelry.

"I just remembered I have a meeting," he said.  "Can I catch you later, before supper?"

She nodded and he bent over, kissing her sweetly.  He took the quartz from her and took it with him.  Ma thought messaged him that Jade was watching so he went inside the Bunker instead and met Ma in the workshop by going through the interior door.  Jade turned away and headed for Peter and Ben instead.  They asked if she wanted a bonfire with some of the driftwood, in the interior courtyard. 

"I'm pretty sure we have the fixings for s'mores," said Ben.  "We would ask but us being kids Steve might say no."

"Let's go see if we have the fixings first," said Jade.

She went inside with the boys and sure enough there were marshmallows, graham crackers and chocolate chips.  Next they had to find Steve and they brought it up to him.  He actually liked the idea but when Jade said she wanted to look in the workshop for something to use for toasting forks he said he was headed there and would look himself if the boys and her would bring the wood around.  Peter was breaking the wood apart with his hands thoroughly impressing Ben.  Steve met them out there about ten minutes later with coat hangers twisted into toasting forks.  The plan was made to start the bonfire just after sunset at 7 pm.

After such a beautiful day supper was just as good with everyone in the common room laughing, joking and eating.  It was Sam and Maria's turn to cook and Sam had made jambalaya.  He made two pots of it, one spicy and one not so spicy.  Jade had never had it before so she had the not so spicy.  Bucky, eating the spicy version, rolled his eyes after the first spoonful.

"Sam," he yelled.  "God, I've missed your cooking.  No one makes jambalaya like you."

"Thanks man," said Sam, genuinely pleased.  "It's been a while, hasn't it?"

"Too long," said Bucky, standing up and coming to him.  "I'm sorry.  I'm truly sorry."

Sam looked at him for a moment, then nodded.  "So am I, brother," he said.  "I've missed you.  It's all in the past, agreed?"

Bucky nodded and the two men became friends again, giving each other a pound hug.  Steve looked at Jade and smiled, nodding his head.  Bucky sat back down next to Jade and she nudged him on the shoulder with her head.  For dessert Maria had made banana chocolate cake using the overripe bananas no one had wanted to eat.  Again people were giving multiple thanks for it.  By the time everyone else cleaned up the fire outside was started, the s'mores fixings brought out and an assortment of benches from the workout room were assembled around the fire.  Jade got a little chilled despite the fire and Bucky ran into their room bringing out his jean jacket and placing it around her shoulders.  It was much too big for her but she rolled up the sleeves and said it was hers now.  Ma told a ghost story.  Peter and Ben talked people into playing charades.  Clint was cajoled into singing after Jade said she heard him sing to the horses.  He said he would only do it if she sang as well.  They sang Friends in Low Places and got everyone clapping in time to it.  Bucky mentioned Steve could sing, being in the church choir.

"That was supposed to help my asthma and it was before my voice changed, Bucky," said Steve.  "I only know stuff from the 40s like you.  Wait, I've got it, I have a good one."

He started belting out Singing in the Rain and everyone joined in.  For the next two hours they sang, ate s'mores, joked and laughed.  It turned out to be one of the most enjoyable evenings the Avengers had ever had as a group in the Bunker.  Even Bruce stayed for the entire time sitting beside Ma.  When the fire died down to embers the men brought buckets of dirt and sand to put out the fire.  Bucky put his arm around Jade and Ben, herding them home.

"I heard you and Peter thought of this," said Bucky to Ben.  "Nicely done, it was a lot of fun."

"Thanks, Bucky," he replied.  "It was such a nice day and we both thought it would be a nice way to end it.  Um, if you two want to have noisy sex Peter said I could sleep on his couch.  I don't mind, really."

Bucky shook his head feeling affection for the boy.  Ben was the most direct kid he had ever met.  His honesty shone through.

"Sure Ben," he said.  "That's very thoughtful of you."

"Take your toothbrush," said Jade, smiling, as he ran in to get a change of clothes.  "How thoughtful, really, that's your take on it?"

"What else do you say to a ten year old who knows you're having sex with his mom?" asked Bucky.  "We are having noisy sex, aren't we?"

"His birthday is next week," she suddenly said.  "I don't have anything to give him."

"I've got you covered," said Bucky.  "Ma alerted me and we've been making him something from all of us."

"Tell me what you did," she demanded.

"Nope," he said.  "It's going to be a surprise."

She squeezed his waist.  When they got inside the room they could smell woodsmoke so Bucky pulled Jade into the shower with him.

"We have ten minutes of water," he said, "before it automatically shuts off.  As much as I would love to make love in here I don't relish the thought of being covered in soap when the water stops."

Quickly they soaped each other down and rinsed off then enjoyed kissing and caressing under the water until it shut off suddenly.  Jade wrapped her hair up in a towel then another around herself while Bucky did the same.  Picking her up he carried her to the bed and got on it beside her. 

"We smell so much better now," he said, kissing her neck and playfully pulling at her towel.

Putting his hand into her hair the head towel came off and he suddenly kissed her deeply and sensuously.  This time he undid her towel and pulled it away from her body then pushed her down below him.  Laying on top of her he stroked her hair while kissing her softly.   

"This was one of the best days of my life," he said softly.  "Because you were there with me for most of it."

He kissed her deeply again and she drew him in closer with her arms.  "You're overdressed," she whispered, tugging at his towel. 

Smiling, he reached under himself and pulled it off.  "That better?" he asked. 

She nodded and caressed his bottom, then ran her hands up his back.  He raised himself so he was on all fours then kissed her body starting at her breasts and working his way down.  When he got to her pubic area he slowed down nuzzling her lower abdomen and the top of her thighs before gently opening her and licking inside.  Her back arched immediately and she gave a short sigh as he found the parts of her that aroused her.  As she ran her hands through his hair she raised her hips into him and he went down harder on her, making her body twitch.  He started to caress and squeeze her thighs before pressing down on them and trapping them under his arms. 

"James," she panted.  "I love your tongue."

"I love yours, baby," he purred, as he sucked lightly on her clitoris and she gasped.  "Do you want to come now or when I'm in you?"

"Both," she whispered, as she squirmed under him.

Smiling he increased his pace on her and had her straining to come as he held her legs down.  When she suddenly tensed and cried out he released her legs and gently squeezed them to move the blood through them.  Wiping his face with the towel he laid between her legs nuzzling her breasts then moving up to her neck. 

"Well, I'm half done," he whispered in her ear.

"Mmmm," she hummed.  "I should have said yes that first night.  Your tongue...."

As he stroked himself to become hard again she leaned over and gently licked him before taking him into her mouth.  He caressed her silky soft hair as she brought him to the edge before stopping and holding the tip of him.

"Why are you stopping?" he gasped.

"Just wait a little and let the sensation lessen," she said softly.  "Then it will be more intense when you're in me."

They kissed and caressed until Bucky entered her again.  Quickly the intensity increased for both of them and when they came together they cried out loud at the intensity of it.  Bucky laid in Jade for some time, kissing her face and neck still recovering from the emotion it had ignited in him.

"My beautiful Jade," he whispered emotionally, "I would die for you.  If it ever came to that I would lay my life down to save yours."

"Shh, babe," she soothed him.  "Just stay in me, stay with me.  I love you being in me, being part of me."

Eventually he pulled out and lay his head in her arms, just as he had envisioned that day in the workout room.  He never wanted to be anywhere else other than with her.  When he finished the ring he would ask her, and he would commit his life to her, his gem, his Jade.

Chapter 7>>

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[spencerspecifics]

HI HI HI PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WRITE MOREID AT PRIDE AND SOME PINING AND SPENCER THINKS DEREK IS STRAIGHT BUT HE ISN'T AND THEY KIIIITTTTTHHHHH

I absolutely love your energy fuck yes!! I’m so sorry this took forever, ive got school, work and some other personal things happening so I appreciate your patience!

No TW, B u t, a creep hits on Spencer at pride, so if that is upsetting please note that! Thanks :)

———————————————————————

Pride

———————————————————————

Garcia had been pestering Spencer about going to pride for the past week now, and it was slowly driving him insane.

He used almost every excuse he could think of. When he first turned her down, he had simply said, “Sorry, I’m going to be busy that week.” And of course, Garcia being Garcia, she stole his calendar to see what he was busy with (spoiler alert: he had nothing. Except a reminder to go grocery shopping, and email some professors and research scientists back).

So, she persisted, and he came up with a dozen more excuses; “I was considering flying out to see my mom”, “The local museum has a new interactive archeology exhibit for adults, and I want to learn more about ancient structures”, “I have to do a presentation on thermodynamics”.

None of those excuses work, as she sniffed out every lie, “Spencer, you hate flying to Vegas last minute, that archaeology exhibit has been open for months, and your calendar is empty!”

So with her persistence, and legitimate bullying, Spencer found himself finally agreeing. “Fine, but come over to my apartment before we leave so you can help me.” After all, he wasn’t really familiar with pride parades, and what the scene was like there. He was going to be a fish out of water, he already knew that for certain.

~

True to her word, Garcia showed up an hour before the pride parade was set to start, carrying a coffee in each hand- how she possibly knocked on his apartment door, Spencer didn’t know.

“I brought you a pick me up, that way you have no excuse to be in a bad mood!” She spoke in her signature sing song voice as Spencer let her inside, she barreled in like a hurricane. God, Spencer wasn’t ready for this.

“Thanks..” Spencer decided to reply with that lame response, and not with what he was actually thinking. He took the coffee from her wordlessly as she stepped in further, going to sit down on his couch.

“You excited?” Garcia asked as she set her cup down on his cluttered coffee table. Reid just shrugged, “I don’t know. I don’t do great with crowds.”

“But you do great with disarming murderers?” “You know that’s different-” Spencer said, doing his best to argue, “Reid it is literally not. Both are anxiety inducing, but one is life or death, and it’s not pride. So you can do this.”

Spencer sighed, resigning himself to not arguing with Garcia. Because she was right, though at times her arguments sounded wild. He just had to get over this anxiety and show up at pride, he could do this, right?

~

Wrong. So, very, wrong. They had left his apartment with thirty minutes to spare, deciding to walk over to where pride was being held- as it was only a few blocks away in a public park.

And as soon as they got there, Spencer wanted out. There were so many people, more than he estimated (and his estimations were usually spot on.), and there was just chaos everywhere. Music, dancing, shouting, singing, drag queens running around happily. Spencer wasn’t sure what to do. He was out of his element.

Garcia seemed to sense that, though, as she dragged Spencer over to some stalls that sold pride flags, pins, and other miscellaneous pride related things.

“C’mon Reid, why don’t you look around and find something you like?” She offered up, something for him to do- something for him to stay busy with. He could do that. Spencer nodded simply, Garcia stayed by his side- looking at pride related wear for herself.

~

Spencer ended up deciding on a small pin that simply said; “love all”, planning to stick it on his messenger bag strap. Garcia bought a pin as well, but hers just had her pronouns on them; “she/her/hers”.

Looking at all the pride apparel was a good distraction for Spencer, he felt a lot more calmer now- though that didn’t stop him from feeling like he stuck out like a sore thumb. He’s just not familiar with this world, and it’s awkward to suddenly be in the middle of it.

Spencer was in the middle of looking at another booth that sold flags, possibly considering buying himself a small one to stick in his pencil cup at work, because Garcia left him to go compliment a drag queen- when a voice broke through.

“Hey, pretty boy!”

That was a voice all too familiar, what on earth was Morgan doing here? Spencer looked up at him as he made his way towards him. “Hey,” Spencer spoke awkwardly. Not sure what to say.

Spencer was gay. He was fine with admitting he was gay, but he hadn’t really told the team. He thought they figured it out on their own. And they probably had, but still, having his coworker see him at a pride event- it was anxiety inducing.

“What’re- what’re you doing here?” Spencer asked, stumbling over his words as he dropped the small flag he was holding back onto the vendors table.

“Oh, well I’m on the local PFLAG committee. I’m just here to hand out flyers and stuff. But I’m glad to see you’re here, I’m guessing Garcia’s here too?” He asked Spencer casually, as if he hadn’t just dropped a bomb on Spencer.

He was on the PFLAG committee? Why? To help queer people, obviously, but that had to mean he was gay or something- Spencer couldn’t stop his mind from coming up with every possible answer to why Derek was on the committee.

Spencer just nodded in response, he moved himself back from the vendors table to get out of the way, so other customers could look at the flags being sold.

“Yeah, she’s- there.” Reid pointed her out, as if on cue she came out of the thick crowd that had started to gather back up, the parade portion of pride had concluded by now, and people were coming over to the vendors section.

“Hey, Babygirl!” Derek called over to her, and Garcia somehow lit up with a smile brighter than the one she was wearing before, “Well, hey!” She responded enthusiastically, walking up swiftly to give Derek a quick embrace, which he happily returned.

“I wasn’t sure how long you were staying for, but I’m glad I caught you!” Garcia started rambling to Derek, about how the drag queen she met was so nice; “Her name was Mysteria Hysteria. Isn’t that genius?”.

~

Spencer just stepped back from them both, not sure what to do, not sure if he fully belonged. Pride was a nice event, it was. But the longer he stood around, the more he felt like he should be leaving. Everyone was laughing and smiling, everyone was just happy. And Spencer couldn’t stop racking his brain. In the beginning, he couldn’t stop thinking because of his anxiety, but now he was searching his brain for a reason why Derek was here and what it meant.

Of course, a stupid large portion of Spencer’s mind went to “maybe Morgan likes men”, and then an even larger and stupider portion of his mind had the absurdity to think; “maybe he’s interested in me”. Which Spencer did not even want to remotely entertain, because if he fell down that rabbit hole, he’d never climb back out.

Because yes, he did like Derek. He liked him a lot, the start for his liking towards the man was innocuous enough- which is why it was a problem for Spencer. He didn’t realized he liked Morgan until it was too late. And now he had been battling these feelings for years. Spencer wasn’t ever going to act on them, he just had to live with them- which he had been doing, which he has been content with. But this new information, about Morgan being here, being part of PFLAG- it was going to make Reid’s mind implode in on itself.

~

Reid decided the best thing was to say; “I’m gonna get some water, I’ll be back.” To which Derek and Garcia both nodded to, and Spencer was off, away from the vendors stand and the only two people he knew at pride.

And while that was a good thing, it was simultaneously not so good. Because now he was alone, overwhelmed, and thinking too much. And now he had a task to do, find himself some water.

~

That task seemed to be more difficult than anticipated, as the prides layout was a confusing maze, spencer had to pass in front of a group of drag queens in order to get to the food trucks that were on site- but he eventually got there.

He walked up to the first food truck he saw, it didn’t matter what they sold, he wasn’t getting it.

“What can I get for you?” The cashier asked him, “Just a water, please.” He ordered, the cashier nodded and pulled a bottle out from a cooler that was nearby within the truck, handing it over to spencer as they told him his total, a dollar twenty five. Spencer paid quickly, stepping back and away from the food truck, as he wasn’t sure where else to go now. He didn’t want to go back towards Derek or Garcia, he honestly wanted to go home.

He just needed a minute, some space and time to breathe and relax. He was stressing himself out. And about what? Nothing of goddamn importance, just a stupid crush he had been living with for a while now.

~

Spencer had been leaning against the back the food truck for not long, only a couple of minutes as he was absorbed in thought as he fiddled with the cap on the water bottle.

He was doing his best to follow the grounding techniques he had learned, something to help him calm down, when suddenly- a stranger emerged out of the crowd.

“Hey there, handsome.” The man said confidently as he strode up to introduce himself Spencer. Spencer looked up to meet his eyes, the man in question was a fine looking guy, chiseled jawline, long shoulder length hair, a bit of facial stubble. He was handsome. “Hello,” Spencer answered hollowly in response. In an ordinary situation, he would try and seem more lively- but he wasn’t in a normal situation, not at all.

The anxiety of attending pride was stress enough on its own, but now knowing the guy he had been drooling over for years was here- and worked as a PFLAG volunteer? It was enough to make him lose his mind.

The man didn’t seem to notice Spencer’s empty response, however, as he answered suavely in response; “I couldn’t help but notice you from across the way. I’m Fabian,” Thankfully, the man- Fabian, didn’t stick his hand out for a handshake, instead casually pushing his hair back a bit.

“I’m Spencer,” Reid replied simply, knowing it was best to ride this odd social interaction out, rather than try and fight it. “That’s a lovely name,” Fabian complimented, “Is this your first time at pride, Spencer?” He asked him casually, taking a step forward, closer to Spencer. He was all too confident for Spencer, he too comfortable with invading Spencer’s space. If Spencer could’ve, he would’ve stepped back.

“Uh, yeah. My friend dragged me along.” Reid explained, twisting the bottle cap back onto his half empty water bottle. Fabian nodded, “Your boyfriend didn’t take you?” Fabian asked him. That was a leading question, Spencer had alarm bells ringing in his head the second he heard it. “No. He- um- he met up with us here.” Spencer replied unconvincingly, Fabian obviously did not believe a word he said.

“Well,” Fabian took another step forward, practically blocking Reid in against the back of the food truck, leaning in farther to whisper in Spencer’s ear; “I don’t see him around. So, why don’t you and I get out of here? Hm?”

Spencer wasn’t sure of what to do. He wanted to kick this guy in the crotch and just book it, but he wasn’t sure if his FBI status would protect him in this scenario. He wasn’t sure what could protect him in this scenario.

“Pretty boy! There you are!” A saving grace broke through, and suddenly Fabian was stepping back, and Morgan was walking up.

Thank god, thank fucking god, that’s all Spencer could manage to think as Derek came to stand beside him. “Hey, babe.” Spencer said, cringing at his voice, at what he just said. But that feeling only lasted for a moment as Fabian was still standing right there, staring them both down now.

Spencer could only throw his wish in the sky and hope Derek caught it coming down, ‘please catch along to why I’m calling you babe’ Reid was trying to say.

And Derek caught it, “Hey, baby, was worried about you. Who’s your friend?” He said in his smooth voice, a voice Spencer couldn’t forget. He especially couldn’t forget now, being called ‘baby’ was something Spencer especially could not forget.

“I’m Fabian, you’re Spencer’s boyfriend?” Fabian asked, as if them both calling each other ‘babe’ counted for nothing. “Yeah, I’m Derek.” Morgan responded simply, sliding his hand around Spencer’s waist as if to prove a point. Fabian just nodded, looking between Spencer and Derek one last time before talking; “Well, it was nice to meet you, I’ve gotta get going. See you.”

And then, he was off, fast walking away from Derek and Reid, escaping the terrible situation he had created. Fabian quickly disappeared into the thick crowd, and by then Spencer had his hand squeezing his water bottle all too tightly- as evident by the terrible crunch sound it made. He was too anxious to let go.

“Hey, are you okay?” Derek asked him softly, pulling his hand away from Spencer’s waist. “Can we find somewhere else- can we go sit down?” Spencer asked him quickly. Reid didn’t want to talk about it right this second, right where it had happened. He wanted to leave, he wanted to leave pride and never come back.

~

Derek didn’t ask a single follow up question as he led Reid away from the food trucks, taking him back towards the vendors stands, and then a bit further back, into the normal-not-so-pride-parade-filled park area. Somewhere less stressful, less scary.

“What did that guy want?” Derek asked Spencer casually as they made their way towards a bench that was sat under a large oak tree. Spencer didn’t speak right away, instead he waited until they were seated to start talking.

“He was trying to flirt, but then he wanted me to leave with him.” Spencer explained as he took a deep breath in, just being away from all the loud sounds and sights was helping him calm down. Derek rubbed Spencer’s back in slow, circular motions as Spencer kept talking.

“He was a classic example of a narcissistic personality, it just made me so uncomfortable- he invaded my space.”

“He was a creep, Reid. Simple as that,” Derek kept rubbing Spencer’s back slowly, Spencer nodded. “I know. Sorry, it shook me up.” Spencer attempted to apologized, and Derek was immediately having none of that.

“Reid, no. Don’t apologize for that, don’t you dare. He was a creep, I’m sorry you got caught up with him. It’s okay if you’re shaken up. We can stay here until you feel up to going back, or we can leave. But I’m not leaving you.”

~

And so they sat for a good amount of time on that park bench, at one point Derek stopped rubbing Spencer’s back, instead just keeping his arm stretched out against the back of the bench and against Spencer’s back. Spencer loved it, but he knew if he thought about it for too long he wouldn’t be able to stop thinking. That was his biggest problem, he couldn’t stop thinking.

He had to know, he decided, he couldn’t just wonder why Derek was on the committee for PFLAG. He wanted to know, he had to.

“Derek?” He spoke up softly, sounds of laughing and shouting and music were still heard in the distance, but they were safe from the sounds under the tree. “Mhm?” Derek hummed in response, looking up at the aforementioned tree that was providing shade for them.

His eyes were tracing the way the branches curved and bent around each other, it was something he did to pass the time. Spencer thought he was extraordinary for it, Derek loved to see where things went; he was curious- after all these years, and all the bad they had seen together, Derek still loved to search and find the beauty.

“Why are you on the PFLAG committee ?” Spencer asked him, it was thankfully an innocuous enough ask to not draw too much of Derek profilings side out to pry apart his question. Derek shrugged, and was quiet for a second before responding, “I know what it’s like to be a scared kid, unsure of his identity. If I can help someone through that, that’s all that matters. Same reason I’m in the BAU, to help people.”

Spencer stayed quiet, Derek’s reason was so sincere and so sweet and kind- and only driving him to think further. Was Derek still unsure of his identity? Was he an ally? Why did he have to make Spencer swoon so hard without even trying?

“So, you’re just an ally?” Spencer approached Derek carefully with that question, not wanting to impose or be rude- but just feign simple curiosity, praying Derek wasn’t using his profiling skills right now to decode Spencer’s fake motive.

Derek didn’t notice, thankfully, as he chuckled lowly in response; “No, pretty boy, I’m bisexual. I don’t really tell the team, but it’s not confidential information. Plus, Garcia found Grindr on my phone. Can’t hide anything from that girl.”

Spencer nodded, mumbling something in response about how Garcia had hacked his email to make sure he was free for pride. And then, the two fell into silence again. But it didn’t last for long, because Derek wanted to know just as much, why was Spencer here?

“What about you, Reid?” Derek asked him cautiously, the way you approach a puppy you find on the side of the road. Calm and slow, trying to get him to trust him bit by bit. “What about me?” Spencer asked, not wanting to answer anything about himself unless Derek was specific.

“Are you an ally?” Morgan asked him, leaving the question open ended. Spencer could say as little or as much as he wanted. This is how you get him to open up, Derek knew that for a fact. “Um.. yeah, I mean- who isn’t? I just- I have to be. I’m.. gay.” Spencer admitted all too awkwardly, not at all in a normal fashion. But nothing about Spencer was in normal fashion.

Derek nodded slowly, not responding as he stared back up, tracing his eyes over the tree branches yet again.

~

A few hours had passed, Spencer and Derek eventually left their peaceful bench under the large oak tree, and instead moved back towards the parking lot.

“Garcia’s got a ride home already- I think she got that drag queen to get her home.” Derek explained as they approached his truck, Spencer nodded as he followed Derek. “Anyways,” Derek continued speaking, “I can give you a ride home. Let’s get going.”

“You don’t have to-“ Spencer started, Derek immediately shut him down. “I want to, c’mon. It’s late, you’re tired. I know you are. Let me take you home.” Spencer just nodded in agreement, he couldn’t argue with Derek, even if he did try. Morgan was a stubborn man.

So, Spencer followed Derek into his truck, and they sat in comfortable silence as they started on their journey back to Spencer’s safe space, his apartment.

~

By the time Derek pulled his truck into the apartments parking lot, Spencer knew something was just the slightest bit wrong. Derek had barely spoken for the entire ride, and usually he loves to say something, to make Spencer smile or laugh, or even just nod and mumble in agreement. But he had done none of that on the way to Spencers.

“Are you alright?” Spencer asked, turning to face Derek as he put the vehicle in park. Derek didn’t meet his eyes, staring at the steering wheel instead as he spoke; “Yeah. Sorry. I’m just thinking.”

“About what?” Spencer pried, absentmindedly unbuckling his seatbelt as he spoke, “About today.” Derek said, not explaining further. “Was today bad?”

Derek shook his head, “No. It started weird, it’s ending pretty good, though. But I’m gonna regret today forever if I don’t do something right now.”

Now, Spencer was confused. Not sure at all what Derek could be talking about, “What do you mean?” He asked, voice quieter than before.

Derek said nothing as he unbuckled his own seatbelt, turning to face Spencer as well, and then he leaned in- closer than they had ever been before. Their noses were almost touching, and Spencer didn’t move. Instead, he watched Derek’s eyes expectantly.

Then, Derek broke through, they were no longer intersecting each other’s personal space- now they were fully destroying each other’s atmospheres. Derek’s lips were on Spencer’s, a chaste, soft, quick kiss- something Spencer would have wanted to go for a lot longer. But then, he pulled away just as fast.

“...That’s what I meant..” He mumbled after a second, looking back towards the steering wheel, looking away from Spencer- and more importantly, not seeing the smile on Spencer’s face.

Spencer couldn’t help it. He knew it was terrible to be smiling right now- he should jump and say something to fix what was happening. But he had to smile, he couldn’t believe that had actually just happened, his brain was still computing and re-circuiting, trying to savor the memory and not forget how Derek’s lips felt against his.

Spencer dragged himself out of his own head quickly, though. He did all he could think of to do in the moment, get Derek back. “Morgan.” Spencer said, tugging on Derek’s sleeve as he did so, forcing him to look back at Spencer and meet his eyes again.

But Spencer didn’t say anything, and he didn’t give Derek the chance to speak, either. Instead, he leant forward, pressing his lips against Derek’s. This is all he had wanted to know for the longest time, and now he had it.

~

Maybe pride wasn’t so bad after all, you just have to be with the right people for it to work out.

———————————————————————

[hraishin]

Au-gust Prompt: Day One - Ancient Gods

So, I was looking at the Au-gust prompts and staring very hard at the Ancient Gods prompt because I am a mythology whore (affectionate) and suddenly I remembered how I cried during my college class about Pompeii cause I'm also very sensitive. Turns out I managed to find a way to put those two things together and shove it into a cherik fic for the prompt (which I actually wanted to do for a while, but only now it clicked). Hope you like this, sorry for the angst (I'm not really sorry)

I'll be posting it to Ao3 later, most likely. Enjoy!

WC: 1.2k+

-

"Please, you have to leave!" Charles tried, holding the man's shoulders tightly with his hands, his gaze urgent.

He could've tried bending the man's mind, could've placed the suggestion for that man and his family to leave that place as fast as they could, but it would be dangerous. The others would find out about Charles' interference, would punish him for it, and the fate of those humans would be worse. He knew that the family's life was doomed, knew the Fates would cut the threads of their lives in a few hours, and he knew he shouldn't interfere with the Fates' work.

Still, he had to try. 

"This town will burn," Charles said more urgently, and he knew his fingers were bruising the man's skin as he tried to move away from Charles' grip. His children behind him seemed terrified. "You can still leave-"

The man managed to take Charles' hands away from him, pushing Charles to the ground. He fell down with a grunt, body against the hard stone ground, curling his body as an ox almost stepped on his head as it pulled a cart through the streets, its owner shouting angrily at Charles to be careful.

"Stay away from me and my family," the man who Charles had tried to save warned, a scowl on his face as Charles' heart broke.

The ground rumbled as the Vesuvius became more and more active, ready to destroy and kill everything around it. Everyone seemed to ignore it — it wasn't the first tremor they felt, but he knew that soon they'd feel the last.

As Charles started getting up, his pride stained by the treatment he received, he felt a hand grab him by the back of his tunic, forcing him up before the same hand grabbed his arm, pulling him quickly through the street until they were in a tight side alley. 

There was only so much that Charles could take, and he felt himself grow irritated by how he was being handled. He was a god, after all, and he was about to make sure the person who pulled him to the alley knew that when he saw Erik's face in front of him, stoic as always, although his eyes seemed dark.

"What do you think you're doing?" Erik rasped out, letting go of Charles' arm to glare at him. "You're lucky I found you before the others did."

"Why?" Charles replied stubbornly, almost growling as Erik sighed loudly, too used to that stubbornness to not be surprised. "Would they try to kill me for this?"

"You surely remember Prometheus." Charles winced, even if his anger didn't dissipate. "Don't be a fool, Charles-"

"A fool?" Charles asked, Erik's mouth closing immediately at the way Charles' eyes glared at him. "They are punishing those people for nothing-"

"Those people are disregarding us, or have you forgotten?" Erik spit back, their eyes locked together. "They're doomed, Charles. Accept it."

"You don't believe that," Charles said then, his voice calmer now as he saw Erik's jaw clench at the truth in Charles' words. "Don't forget I know your thoughts, Erik. And I know you."

"You wouldn't let me forget even if I wanted to."

Charles stepped forward then, his hands holding Erik's face as the other god widened his eyes slightly. The last time Charles had seen Erik eye to eye, just the two of them, they had fought — he still remembered the earth shaking around them, the way every human who had the bad luck of being next to them had become disoriented, their minds fogged up by Charles' anger — so the reaction was understandable. Still, Erik didn't pull away.

"You awakened Vesuvius, you can put it to rest. Erik, please-"

"You know I can't." Erik shook his head, his voice almost a whisper, pulling Charles' hands from his face like they burned. "Don't ask that of me. If I disobey the order-"

"Say it was me. Tell them I took hold of your mind and I'll take the punishment."

"And then what, Charles?" Erik loudly asked, Charles' eyes closing as he lowered his head. "You'll be punished and- and taken away from me, and then I'll have to awaken the Vesuvius again, and all that effort will be for nothing."

Charles kneeled on the ground, defeated, as he felt another tremor shaking the ground. He felt Erik moving in front of him, kneeling before he felt Erik's forehead meeting his, blue eyes finally opening to stare at Erik's grey ones. It had been far too long since he last saw them.

"Some are already leaving," Erik's voice was a quiet whisper now as he uttered the words, a secret for only Charles to hear. "The tremors- I'm using them to warn them. The ones who feel them and listen are leaving, there are ships parting from Pompeii and Herculaneum right now. Not all of them will perish."

"But many will," Charles whispered back, feeling and seeing Erik nod shortly, grey eyes clouded.

The next tremor was more violent under Charles' knees, Erik's hands moving to keep him stable. He couldn't help but smile at Erik, albeit sadly, for the insistent tremors. 

"Let's get out of here," Erik's hand moved, finger brushing against Charles' chin for a quick second. "I'd rather not see you burning from the heat."

-

From far away, Charles' eyes watched as the cloud of smoke took over the sky, the minds of all humans fading one by one as the heat wave killed them first, and he could almost hear from where he stood as the Fates cut the threads, the deafening sound of them finally snapping. The ships in the distance were filled with people who mourned the deaths and clamored for safety. Charles sighed, a touch of his mind to theirs filling them with a safe feeling — they'd live, he knew that, and he made sure they felt that too. 

By his side, Erik stared at him with a blank expression, even if his mind was a maelstrom of thoughts and emotions. Charles had always been the only one who saw through Erik's stoic face, and maybe that was why he had fallen in love with Erik from the moment he met the other god. Maybe that was why he still loved Erik even after they both had left many, many times, bitter from their fights.

He turned his eyes to look at Erik as well then, unable to smile, Erik's grey's eyes saddening with it.

"For how long will you resent me for this?" Erik asked, his voice unsure. 

Charles huffed out amusedly, shaking his head before moving, placing a kiss to Erik's cheek before turning his back to him, walking away.

"I don't resent you," Charles said.

"Liar," Erik quickly responded to that, loud, so Charles would hear. Charles smiled to himself.

"You saved some of them when I couldn't," Charles didn't look back or stopped walking, feeling the gloom in Erik's mind. "That's enough."

"Don't disappear from me again for long, Charles… I barely got you back."

"I won't," Charles said, finally looking back so Erik would see his eyes, so he'd know he wasn't lying. "But, please... Don't follow me. I'll come back to you, my love. I promise you that- but not today, not yet."

As Charles walked away, he felt the earth shaking under his feet again, the Vesuvius exploding once more, eyes moving to that mountain as it reflected his lover's wild mind.

[ravenousgf]

"Screw you for being so perfect." @wesper-week Day 1: Jealousy

It wasn't like Wylan wanted to think about it.

It wasn't like he mapped out the slow descent to insanity, first when the thought randomly popped up as he did the dishes, then as he looked in the mirror at his unremarkable eyes and nearly invisible, too-short eyelashes, then as he lay awake in the dawn, staring at Jesper's sleeping form bathed in rose-gold from the open window that his boyfriend would definitely grumble about when he woke up.

No, when he wondered how many other places and people had seen Jesper in that same position, sprawled over white bedcovers, long lashes brushing his cheekbones and face uncharacteristically at peace--it was uninvited torture.

It had only been half a year, and already he was growing old and insecure. Seventeen, and he already felt like he wasn't enough--no match for Jesper's vivacity, his keen wit and keener gaze, no match for Jesper's smarter, calmer, tougher friends. Jesper had always been a rolling stone, even as the path chipped and chipped away at him though he deserved better (he deserved the goddamn world) and he sparkled through it all, stayed the wondrous boy he was. Wylan was something he'd had picked up, something Jesper, like his dad, like the part of his brain that should have gotten him to read, could easily drop back down, forget about, if he wasn't good enough for them.

When he stared at the silver rim around his teacup, Madeline's blue-gray eyes flashed before him; when he saw Jesper swallow the bitter coffee he needed to focus, sometimes, Kaz's eyes appeared, liquified; and every interaction that Jes was better at than Wylan--which was every interaction ever--only served to remind him of how easy it was to fall in love with Jesper.

It had taken him far less than was prudent, after all.

Now, as Jesper plucked a flute of champagne off a passing waitress and scanned the room, the butterflies in Wylan's stomach multiplied, going haywire.

'Ready?' Jes asked, dark eyes twinkling, and Wylan nodded vigorously. Fuck no.

Jesper flitted about like one of the butterflies, a wink here, a brush of shoulders there, a one-armed hug even as his hand remained firmly clasped in Wylan's. Jesper had always been magic, with his too-fast thoughts and shimmering restlessness and ever-expanding host of crazy ideas, but today, in his neon blue outfit and diamond stud, he outshone plain, awkward, blushing, Wylan even more than usual.

Saints. Where had that come from?

That night, he stayed up just as late as Jesper, and when they finally went to bed at 3 bells, he felt like a hammer had been taken to his brain over and over.

'Jes,' he whispered into the darkness, their fingertips brushing. Sparks never left the points of contact. His chest felt like it could burst with everything he'd left unsaid so far.

'Hm?'

'Do you think we should go out more, like this?' Say no, he pleaded. Say I'm enough for you, with my stupid flute and stupid flirting that could never compare to your charisma and my even more stupid dependency.

Jesper's eyes were black sockets in the dark, graying as he blinked. 'Are you really asking me if I like great drinks, better food, and company at its finest?' he laughed, a low, stuttered sound that did things to Wylan's chest. 'Sure, merchling. Is that what you want?'

'It's alright.'

Jes trailed his fingers up Wylan's arm, touch featherlight. 'Alright? What about my outfit today was alright?' his tone was teasing.

Wylan turned his head so their noses were nearly brushing. 'I suppose I've seen worse.'

That damned laugh again. It was like music. No, even better. Warped music, toughened and deeper and far too gorgeous for a time like this, for feelings like his. Wylan wondered if the thudding of his heart could really be felt through his arm.

Jesper drew closer, and before Wylan could react, warm, honeyed lips were pressing against his, strong arms pulling him in, his soft gasp swallowed like the golden drink swigged earlier that night. He shut his eyes as Jesper buried his hand in his hair, and gripped Jesper's shoulders, pushed every doubt, every painful, atrocious, petty comparison to the back of his mind as he bit down on Jesper's lip, lightly, craving the groan that would inevitably ensue--

Jesper pulled away, hard enough to roll to the opposite side of the bed. Wylan's eyes felt like bulbs in his face.

'What's wrong?'

Jesper took his hand--thank Ghezen. 'You tell me, Wy.'

But how could he?

'Was it the party?' The mattress shifted as Jesper propped himself up on one arm. 'I suppose it was too tame, but it was only our first in a while. All those damned jobs...I can always take you someplace more interesting soon.'

Saints. That was tame?

Jes' foot pushed up against his, warm as an armchair by the fireplace or a loved one's smile, and rings clinked together in the near-blackness.

Say something, idiot. 'It was fine,' he mumbled, before Jesper could worry himself any longer. 'I'm sorry I don't know any places better.' Now come closer and continue where you left us off.

'We both know that's my job, merchling.' Jes squeezed his sweaty palm and for the millionth time, Wylan repressed a shudder at the strangeness of all this, of Jesper Fahey still finding him new and interesting and worth getting his palm all gross over. He could almost hear Jesper's grin. 'You're the smart one, remember?'

His cheeks heated in the dark. 'No, I'm not. They're not mutually exclusive.'

'Sure they're not. But that doesn't mean I'm not right.'

'You're not right either way.' his voice had risen above a whisper almost without his knowledge.

'Ok, what's this about? What did I fuck up?'

Wylan almost laughed at the very idea. 'What? No. That's ridiculous.'

'Why, thank you. I live to serve.' The bite was evident enough.

Ghezen, I'm horrible at this. 'No, no, no, that's not it. It's not you, it's me!'

'Did you just--'

'Shut up.'

'--really? that's what you're--'

'I'm sorry I'm so boring, alright?' he burst out. He felt rather than saw Jesper freeze up. 'You called this one tame and it's the most social I've ever been, and I'm not sure if your clubs, or your...your...' he struggled to say it. 'I don't think I could ever love all that. It's not my scene, never will be.'

Jes reached out, untangled Wylan's hands, and he realised that in his distress he'd wrung them together rather aggressively. It stung now that he'd stopped.

Jesper was quiet. Then, 'Have you ever been to one of them?'

Oh, saints. Lie or truth, lie or truth. 'Ye--no, actually. I don't have to go to know that it would be too much.'

'But--'

'Would you go with Inej?'

'What?'

'Would you go off with Inej, live out your year on the seas in a pirate vessel, etcetera etcetera...?'

'Did you really just say the entire word?'

'Answer the question.'

'Alright, fine. I see your point. But Wy,' he threaded their fingers through each others' so Wylan could feel the individual cool presses of Jesper's rings, 'that's fine. I mean, it does matter to me, but at the end of the day I could never say no to staying in with you. I mean, I'd be mad to. And all this'--he gestured, arms shadowed swirls in the night--'a magnificient house, and your books, and not having to worry about money, well, I'd be an idiot to want to go out all the time. This is what my dreams were of on that terrible ship to the ice court. Well, those, Inej dying--nightmares, honestly--and you, of course.'

'What was I wearing?' it popped out without a second thought. Wylan's heart was beating double time, speeding faster than ever now that the heavyweights were lifted off it.

Jesper's third genuine laugh of the night was uproarious. Thank Saints for you Jes. 'Well played, merchling.'

'I try,' Wylan whispered, as they reached for each other again, and this time Jesper's muffled reply was cut off by Wylan. Good. Let me surprise you.

'I'll make my wild, wild parties less frequent,' Jesper whispered against his lips, 'now I know you'll be waiting at home.'

Wylan laughed a little. 'Oh, how romantic.'

'I try.' was all Jesper parroted with a gleam in his eye before flipping them, and Wylan lost all rational thought to better feelings.

The room echoed with their slowly building bliss.

[unprofessional-bard]

Chapter 9 - Love Among the Ruins

Losing My Religion Series Masterlist

Unprofessional Bard's Masterlist

Previous Chapter • Next Chapter

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female!Reader/OC

Warnings: Angst in the beginning, some fluff in the middle and smutty smutty smut with dirty talk(?) at the end with a surprise 😌

Summary: The lovers finally confront each other.

Word Count: 5.925

Author's Note: For those who are wondering about the date - it's mid September & October, 2035! I'm so sorry for the late update, my inspo was a little low; writing this chapter was disastrous because I changed the course of the story halfway through but after many proofreading's and editing, here we are. My apologies again for keeping you all waiting for so long, I hope y'all are still interested in this series 🥺

Enjoy!

As you had predicted, you hadn't healed an ounce. All your bruises did was change colour and, according to Katherine, it was a sign that you were healing. Bullshit, you had said. You didn't say you knew better than a doctor, but you'd had similar scars like these and they healed quicker in the span of a week than these had in ten days.

"I'm sorry-" You had immediately apologised to Katherine after you let your frustration slip. "I didn't mean to offend you."

"No offense taken," She smiled sadly. "I understand your frustration, (Y/N). Physical damage like yours takes its toll on the person."

"I ain't healing, Katherine." You croaked, sighing. "It doesn't have anything to do with your treatment."

"I know," Katherine caressed your shoulder gently. "You went through hell and you need to rest. You need to heal emotionally so the rest of you can too."

The words stuck to you, of course you knew it had something to do with your mental health, but you didn't know exactly what you needed or needed to do.

But deep down, you knew exactly what you needed.

So that's why -after a total of a week and a day in the infirmary had passed and Tommy visited you by himself on a rainy morning- you decided to confront Joel.

"Hey," Tommy appeared by your door with that stupid smirk and Texan drawl.

"Hey," You chuckled through your nose at the sight of him. Your voice was better than it was a couple of days ago: "You look cheerful."

"No more than usual," Tommy sat down. "How're you feelin' today?"

"No shittier than usual," You scoffed, making him chortle. Before you knew it, the following words rolled out of your tongue: "I want to see Joel." Tommy's expression morphed into a shocked one, as he clearly wasn't expecting you to say that, so you added while he remained silent: "That ass hasn't visited me once."

"He... actually did- does," Tommy cleared his throat. "But you don't know that 'cause he does when you're asleep."

Your eyes widened at the new information, your brows immediately knitted: "What?"

"Dolly, look-"

"Don't you Dolly me!" You hissed. "Tommy Miller, you're no less of an ass than your brother!"

"Why am I an ass now?!" Tommy objected.

"You knew he visited me and kept it from me?!" You raised your voice.

"What's going on?" Daisy suddenly walked in, hearing the commotion from meters away.

"Nothing- don't worry," He quickly lowered his voice and reassured her. "Something bit Dolly in the ass."

"Oh fuck you Tommy," You flipped him off. "You're lucky I'm stuck to this damned bed, or I'd smack the shit out of you-"

"Why is my husband's sister-in-law smacking the shit out of my husband?" Maria appeared out of nowhere, smirking as she looked at the scene in front of her.

Tommy liked to refer to you as her sister-in-law, even though you weren't labelled as married with Joel; it unintentionally became a habit of the actually married couple and, even though the road ahead wasn't clear for you, they made you a part of the family. You didn't mind, you didn't try to protest against it because this was exactly the same case with "Dolly".

"Your husband is being an ass!" You groaned.

Tommy stayed quiet for a moment, then sighed in defeat. "You know what? You're actually right. I should've told you."

"...It's okay," You didn't look him in the eyes as you exhaled heavily.

A confused Daisy walked out of the room with an okay, nevermind kind of expression on her face, making Maria walk into the room and close the door behind her: "What happened?"

"Joel visits me while I'm asleep and none of you bother to tell me about it?" You looked between them in a displeased manner.

Maria and Tommy exchanged a guily look between themselves, then Maria spoke: "Yeah, we should've told you, you're right... but you said you weren't ready to face him just yet. He knows this and he's ashamed of what he did, so I think he thought it was better to visit you like that than not visit at all."

"Well, I'm not going to pussy out and avoid this furthermore, I want to see him." The couple exchanged another worried look before you added: "Bring him here- to me."

Tommy chuckled. "He'll come running, don't worry, but he just left for patrol..."

"Oh... okay. Afterwards, then." You said, calmer now.

"I'll let him know when he returns," Maria turned to her husband and then back to you. "I'm glad you decided to talk to him - one of you had to do it sooner or later and, well, I knew it was going to be you."

You gave Maria an alien look, many emotions running through your mind as she continued: "You may not be aware, but you're quite confrontational. I think Ellie got that from you."

"Oh, no," You smiled a little. "I got it from her. She's the most confrontational kid I've ever seen."

Maria smiled back: "As I was saying, you're confrontational, but Joel isn't - according to Tommy, anyways."

"You're right, to some level anyway," You looked at Tommy, then leaned back on your pillows.

Whether they liked it or not, a person has to come face to face with their mistakes, accept them, learn from them and move on. It was easier said than done of course, you knew this better than anyone - suddenly you felt sick to your stomach, memories of your first weeks in Jackson interrupting your train of thought, all of a sudden making you nauseous and giving you a desperate urge to be left alone.

"Are you okay, (Y/N)?" Maria sat beside you. "You're going paler by the second-"

"I'm fine," You gulped. "Just- old memories-"

Maria immediately took your hand which was closest to her in both of hers: "It's going to be okay, nothing that can't be sorted out."

"I know," You smiled weakly, the need to empty your insides crawling up your throat. "I should rest a while, I don't feel too well-"

"Should I call Kat?" Tommy asked and Maria gave you a concerned look.

"No, no, I'm fine, I just- I need to sleep for a bit..." You gave her hand a weak, reassuring squeeze, then closed your eyes and pressed your head against the pillows. The couple took this as their cue and left quietly, letting you fall into a long sleep.

----

It was a tough day for the eldest Miller brother. He was absolutely drained and currently sleeping on the uncomfortable, leather chair outside your room after a rather harsh patrol; his arms were crossed and legs were spread and he was sure his neck would've snapped in half if he hadn't woken up to the echoing of a door opening. He quickly sat up, all those years out in the wild having made his hearing hypersensitive, and cursed quietly, rubbing his neck and groaning. The watch on the wall read 19:07 and his head snapped towards your door immediately, but before he could get up, a voice he wasn't entirely fond of scratched at his ears.

"Hey man..." It was Walt. He scratched the back of his neck as Joel slowly turned his head toward him. "I- I wanted to see how she was doin'..."

Joel just nodded: "She's cross with you, but she'll appreciate that."

"Wait- you cool with me visiting her?" Walt halted, making Joel sigh and cross his arms.

"I am- unless you give me a reason not to be." He said and told the redhead not to push his luck. Walt just nodded and sat beside Joel.

"Would ya mind if I asked what happened?" Walt spoke, his green eyes falling on Joel's hazel ones.

"I do." Joel didn't look at him, focusing on the floor instead. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"It's just that, I saw Tommy and Maria talking with Eugene and I overheard how your relationship was ah..."

Joel's head snapped at Walt's words which trailed off: "Didn't I just say I don't wanna talk about it?"

"Right- you're right, I'm sorry." Walt apologised as Joel gave him an irritated look. "I am, really."

Joel turned his head forward and leaned back, sighing through his nose. He couldn't believe you would've ended up with Walt, of all the people in Jackson, if Ellie hadn't set you two up on Christmas- or, well, if he had died in that hospital while saving his daugh-

"I just wanna say," Walt interrupted Joel's train of thought. "She'll come around. She always does. I pulled off some real stupid shit ever since we became friends and she always forgave me. She's a good person."

Joel side eyed him: "Yeah, she is..."

"But don't tell me you're gonna wait here until she makes up her mind and decides to forgive you Lord knows when?" Walt chuckled. "You don't wait for someone that long..."

Joel turned his head toward him once more and straightened up, hands squeezing his arms tighter at his nonsense: "I am gonna wait. You bet your ass I will - as long as she wants me to. She's broken, but healing- and that kinda healin'?" He pointed at your room. "It takes a lotta time... She has all the time she needs to make up her mind- don't really care if it takes days or weeks. I'm heartbroken too, but in the end, I'll wait."

Walt's smile immediately dropped the second those words left Joel's lips. He was frozen on spot, totally humiliated and couldn't do anything as he added: "I don't expect you to understand. If you loved her like I do, you'd wait."

Joel could tell Walt wanted to be swallowed by a deep hole in the ground - he was utterly dumbfounded and clearly wasn't aware of how your relationship with Joel was love at its truest form.

"I think it's best if you leave now." Joel sighed once more, got up without sparing another look at the shocked man, then quietly walked into your room.

----

You woke up from a reoccurring nightmare right when the chatter outside had began. It's the same scenario: You're captured by Axel, but there are different endings sometimes.

Usually, it's just the image of Axel's ruined corpse. You knew you'd done some pretty fucked up things in the past as a FEDRA soldier and you acknowledged them, but none of them was as bad as this one, you thought. Beating a man to death to the point of bringing his insides out? Even though your acts were mostly justified in your head and by the people who knew the story, you simply couldn't believe you went as far as to torture him to death.

He was right, he did ruin you.

Sometimes, right before you're captured, he shoots Joel in the head while negotiating your surrender. This is the worst one next to the one when you let the darkness envelop you whole- let it embrace you and you end up losing everyone and everything, including your mind. Those are the ones that wake you up with a brutal scream, that has the nurses rushing into your room in panic.

Sometimes it'd be after he captured and tortured you: After hearing the gunshots from outside and fleeing, you'd die and wake up in cold sweat with trembling hands. Sometimes, one little mistake and either Tommy or Joel -or both- would die. Sometimes you'd die right in front of them- Axel would shoot back instead of running like a coward and the bullet would put a hole between your brows. The thing that scared you wasn't the dying bit, it was the fear of failure and agony you'd cause to your family: To Joel and Ellie, Tommy, Maria and to the others who cared for you. The way Joel told you not to go after Axel or to not do certain things echoed through your subconscious and you acknowledged just how right he was.

That was what you were afraid of.

Disappointment, disapproval and failure.

In this nightmare, however, you were going hand to hand with Gabe. You remembered how scared you'd felt when he pulled off that move with his legs, trapping your neck between his ankles with incredible flexibility and slamming you to the ground while you were trying to stab him, almost crushing your neck - that scene was replaying in your head, but in this version, he cut off your breathing and you could't get up on time when Joel pushed through. Just as he got into your line of vision to shoot him, however, Gabe reached for the pistol strapped to his thigh and shot Joel in the head; you woke up with a gasp, eyes wide and you were trembling everywhere. You were sweating as if you'd ran a marathon under the sun and your breathing was heavy just as much.

As you laid in the bed, stunned, you heard everything that was being said outside. At first you couldn't hear anything other than your breathing and heartbeat, but as you forced yourself to calm down, the voices got clearer and clearer: It was Walt and Joel.

Your teeth were about to crush from clenching them so tight, you still weren't processing the chatter completely, but you managed to understand only these words:

"If you loved her like I do, you'd wait."

You felt like you were paralyzed on spot, tears rolling out of the corners of your eyes and running down the side of your nose were mixing with the droplets of sweat formed around your face when you heard a soft knock on your door and the opening of it: "Hey..." You were looking bewildered, as if you'd seen some supernatural creature, making Joel alert: "Hey, are you alright?"

You just blinked a couple of times as you shook your head sideways. There was a barbed wire wrapped around your throat, you couldn't reply as he walked to your side, stood just above you and asked: "What's wrong, what happened?"

You were expecting Joel to give you a hug or- just caress your back- anything. But he didn't. He didn't touch you, or call you baby, sweetheart, darling...

Dolly...

For an insane second, the failure you were so afraid of came crashing down along with the lines he spoke outside, making you gasp after realising you'd been holding your breath: "Oh Joel," You finally reached out for him, voice cracking, which reminded him of when he pulled Ellie off of that cannibalistic maniac. He gently took your hand in his and immediately sat down beside you without wasting another second. "I'm so sorry-"

"Don't be sorry, darlin', you got nothing to apologise for." Joel put an arm around your shoulders, pulling you flush against his chest. You were his darlin' again, just like that. His chin rested on your head as you trembled and cried: "You heard what I said, didn't you?" He felt you nod against his chest: "I meant every word of it."

You two stayed like that for awhile. Joel eventually leaned back on the bed with you in his arms and let you snivel, tears of his own rolling down his cheeks and onto your pillow in the meanwhile. His hold never loosened around you: As if, if he let you go at that moment, he'd lose you forever. He suppressed the whines that were stuck in his throat - he didn't want to upset you furthermore, didn't want you feeling guilty than you already were.

"Let me look at you," You whispered after a long time, face pressed against his brown jacket you adored, his scent making it's way into your lungs despite your blocked nose.

Joel reluctantly pulled away then, letting you raise your head so that you could take a proper look at him. His eyes were puffy and wet, just like yours: "You got a lil' something on your nose, miss."

You giggled as he reached for napkins from behind him, stayed quiet and gazed into his eyes as he wiped your nose clean; then he moved onto your wet cheeks, then the corners of your eyes. He was so gentle with you, so gentle, that you almost cried again. He took another napkin and wiped the sweat around your temples, forehead and neck; once he was done, he put the napkin away, then looked into your eyes. You shook your head and looked down, embarrassed: "Will you ever forgive me? I-"

"Shh," Joel carefully grabbed your chin with his thumb and pointing finger, pushed your head up slowly and looked deep into your eyes: "I ain't mad or upset. I would've waited for as long as you needed, if it meant bein' yours again."

Your eyes looked away, feeling more ashamed than ever. After a moment of silence, you figured, you shouldn't be upset any longer -for his sake- and spoke: "Since when were you so fancy with words?"

He chuckled softly: "Ever since I figured you like 'em." You chuckled as well and looked lovingly into his eyes. "Know this, (Y/N): I'd do anything for you. Anything."

You realised then, that a kiss much needed by both parties was long overdue, so you leaned forward and attached your lips onto his, cupping his cheek. He kissed back, passionately and full of emotion with a hint of aching, acknowledging the fact that you'd do anything for him too. Neither of you were aware of Tommy and Ellie watching from the door, the younger Miller smiling to himself, then leaving you two be while your daughter watched her parents, finally reunited and in each other's arms.

Things escalated pretty quickly after that. Your healing improved massively, but the road ahead was still long. Your nightmares were still a thing, but you slept better, so you didn't complain. Everyone's moods had improved as well, the Millers were finally happy which boosted other people's morals. You and Joel did a lot of talking and explaining, promising each other that from then on, you'd be more open to each other about the things that disturb you. Joel had explained how one of Axel's guards had taken his jacket off of him before they left because he knew you'd try to escape and it'd be a convincing trap - you, most importantly, opened up to him about how you felt as you killed the man in question.

"You said that nothing could give you more joy than... killing him," Joel cleared his throat awkwardly. "Did you... did you really mean that?"

You stared and blinked. Of course it hadn't, it could never: "Do you actually think that brought joy to me?" Joel nodded sideways. He knew you didn't enjoy it of course. "You do know that, nothing brings more joy into my life than you- and Ellie, right?" You questioned with a tense expression. Had he really seen through you that clearly to assume that the act of torturing someone gave you joy? But you relaxed when Joel let out a relieved sigh, then nodded up and down. "There's never a single truth spoken on a battle if your aim is to anger or scare your opponent..."

"I know, it's just," Joel looked up at you from where he was seated. "I'd've never thought I'd see you like that. You were... you weren't yourself."

"Were you really surprised?" You asked. "Or were you scared?"

Joel thought on your words for a moment: "I guess... I guess I was scared an' upset. To see you like that- I love you darlin'. I wouldn't want anything makin' you like- like that. I... I almost thought I wasn't-"

It was you who nodded then, letting him sigh in a frustrated manner when he struggled to explain himself, but you understood him: "I know Joel... There are ugly sides to the both of us, but- Trust me, I know."

Tommy was glad Joel had found someone he could comfortably open up to like that, it made him happy to know that his brother was in good hands- your hands, unlike his ex-wife's. A month had passed ever since and you were allowed to leave the infirmary and move back in with your lover. You were able to walk without crutches but you needed someone's help like a pregnant lady who could give birth any minute and, 98% of the time, that someone was Joel, of course.

And as soon as you got home, on a chilly October evening...

"Missed me, did you?" Joel chuckled when you didn't let his hand go after he laid you down on your shared bed. You gave him a shy smile and tugged at his hand, biting your lip as he sat down beside you.

"I'm feeling a lot better because of you," You placed soft kisses on his knuckles. "I wasn't healing properly, you know, before we talked." Joel nodded slowly and returned the gesture on your unoccupied hand - your knuckles, the back of your hand and slowly turning your arm and kissing a trail down to your wrist as you continued: "I've wanted to kiss you for so long, to hold you and to be held by you - I got all of that... But there's another thing I want."

He was no fool, he knew exactly what you meant: "Hm? Whatever could that be?"

"Come closer and I'll tell you," You smirked and that line earned you a hungry kiss as your lover placed himself gently on top of you, getting rid of his clothes in the process.

"Oh, I've wanted this too, would you believe that?" Joel smiled into the crook of your neck as he unbuttoned his shirt.

"Really?" You said, your voice quiet in a whisper, as your fingers went under his shirt and trailed up his ribs. "What a coincidence."

Once his shirt came off and he stood above you, his hungry eyes eating you up with a stare which always had heat pooling between your legs, your playfulness dropped as you took in his features. It had been so long since you'd seen his body, you immediately noticed a few changes: Like a new small scar by the side of his chest and the weight loss, of course: "How much weight did you loose?"

"Well," Joel was caught a little off guard and since you were distracted, he slowly began undoing the buttons of your blouse, invisibly wincing at the few bruises decorating your skin. "I can't exactly know, can I?"

His playful tone put a smile on your lips regardless: "I'm serious Joel- is that a new scar?"

He quickly left your blouse's buttons and dipped down, grinded his aching member against yours, his lips finding yours in a hungry kiss. When you parted for the sake of getting some oxygen into your lungs, he spoke: "Darlin', it's been some time since we saw each other - it's nothin' to get upset over. Trust me." You nodded and smiled, hands cupping his ass and pushing them up to indicate that you required another kiss, which Joel gladly obliged: "There are more... pressing matters to attend to."

The best part about this sex was, almost nothing hurt. You had taken a good amount of painkillers before you left and, it was like he knew exactly where you were hurt from your encounter a month ago, so he placed his body on yours accordingly. He slowly moved his head down your neck and then to the valley of your breasts, your hands going into his hair as soon as his teeth were nibbling at your nipples, giving each an equal amount of attention which had you soaked already: "Oh Joel-"

"Yes baby," Joel hissed as he planted passionate kisses around your chest, leaving a wet trail on your breasts which he missed very much; he was having a hard time controlling his urge to decorate them along your shoulders and neck with different shades of red and blue, but of course he held back. Your blouse was all the way open as you rubbed your clothed core against his hard cock. Katherine had suggested that you wore a skirt to make things easier for you when you were getting ready to move out, which you had gladly accepted as wearing pants would be uncomfortable difficult... Little had you known it'd make things easier for Joel too.

Your thighs were bare - somehow, only your underwear was covered by the edges of the skirt and the sight almost made Joel moan, much to your delight, so you grabbed him through his underwear and heard the most beautiful sound as a result: "Fuck, (Y/N)," Joel groaned, face twisted up in yearning and pleasure, which inevitably made you moan. "I don't wanna hurt you, baby."

"You won't," You pleaded as he leaned down and pressed his forehead against yours while settling between your legs, his grip on your thighs were somewhere between hard and soft. "I'll tell you if anything hurts, I promise, but for the love of god, just fuck me Joel."

This was probably a stupid idea. The activity would be too tiring for your body and the last thing Joel wanted to do was cause you distress instead of pleasure, but that was just unfair to the man. It was as if you were provoking him to play rough, because despite what you had told him about letting him know if anything hurt, he still was going to hold back... but what you said afterwards gave him all the permission he needed. Your wish was his command.

His pupils dilated before he lifted your skirt up and dipped his head between your legs, pulling your underwear aside and licking a long stripe up your folds after giving your inner thigh a gentle bite. You gasped loudly, his tongue brushing directly over your clit: "God- fuck!" You were loud, but you didn't care, because he was eating you up just like a man who hadn't eaten anything in a month - which was exactly his case. This felt like the first time again. His tongue expertly worked you to your orgasm, licking between your lips as his beard scratched your inner thighs from time to time; holding you down with his arms around your legs, parting them wider and moving his tongue in a variety of directions as he made you moan over and over again. He hummed against your pussy but suddenly stopped and got up to his knees. You whined at the contact loss, never having felt more disappointed in your life: "Joel..."

He quickly but carefully climbed on top of you, then laid down beside you, diving his fingers between your folds and making them linger around your entrance. With a deep kiss, he inserted a finger into you and you thought you were gonna come right then and there at the feeling. You were partly trapped between his body and the bed and you loved it, moans stuck at the back of your throat as you made out a little roughly, his finger an absolute bliss as it reclaimed its place inside you.

"Joel," You gasped. "More... I need more."

"Hm?" Joel groaned into your ear. "More of what?"

"You- Ah-" You moaned when he inserted a second digit inside your walls, leaving you scratching at his back and possibly leaving a few marks in the process. "Fuck..."

"I bet you missed this, huh?" Joel growled quietly into your ear, grinding his erection to the side of your leg as he stretched you with his thick fingers. "I know I did, seeing you like this..."

"Yes," You moaned, your hand going to grab his cock as he lightly sucked hickeys onto your lower neck and collarbone. Joel moaned when you did, a thrill went down your spine at how hard he was and when he unintentionally thrusted his hips up in your hand, your eyes rolled to the back of your head: "Ohh Joel, t-touch me-"

He thrusted his hips one more time into your hand and as soon as his thumb brushed against your clit, a not so subtle and a rather pornographic moan left your lips, head falling back on the pillows with your grip on his shoulders and nails embedded in his skin. You held onto him for dear life as he fingered you through your orgasm, the wet sounds driving him wild: "There you go, baby, you did so well..."

His words of praise and encouragement weren't lost among your shallow breaths - your body was trembling, not having had such a powerful orgasm in a long time took a toll on you. You'd never seen Joel this desperate and shaky too, like a teenager who was about to have sex for the first time (not that your case was any different).

"Does it hurt?" Joel asked while carefully spreading your legs apart. "When I hold you here?" He grabbed your waist gently - you nodded yes. You weren't exactly sure why it hurt, but you must've taken a few hits there. "Okay... How about here?" His hands smoothly moved to your hips and when you made his hands squeeze a little tighter and noticed you were okay, you nodded no. "Good... I'm gonna turn you over, yeah? Is that okay?"

You nodded, and helped him turn you around and lay your lower body on the pillows. He gently placed your legs as far away from each other without hurting you, exposing your glistening pussy and presenting your ass to him in the perfect angle. A rather animalistic grunt left his lips at the sight, but still he made sure you were okay: "You alright baby?"

"Yes..." You moaned eagerly, secretly not really looking forward to the pain you had to endure for a short while before adjusting to his size again - but you needed him, which was enough to take your mind off the pain. Plus, it was going to be like your first time with him, which was an out-of-earth experience; you were excited that you were going to relive something similar to that again.

At first, his hands pressed down on the bed so he didn't apply pressure to you from anywhere as he lined himself up and pushed slightly. You were already stretched by Joel's thick fingers -which you had missed oh so much- and you were absolutely soaked, it took you only a moment to adjust and let him move deeper into you. He lightly snapped his hips into you, making you moan simultaneously.

"F-fuck-!... You good sugar?" Joel whispered, in an unintentionally seductive tone, which made you clamp down on his length. "Fuck..."

"Yes, yes, yes, Joel-" You whined, absolutely losing your mind over the way he filled you up. "Fuck, ohmygod, please-"

"Shit," Joel growled and started to push in and out of you at a very gentle pace. "You feel so good- Oh Dolly, I'm gonna fuck you so good, darlin'-"

"Yes!" You cried out, tears at the corners of your eyes from the immense pleasure you were receiving. "I'm all yours- ahh~"

Being embarrassed by the noises you made was thrown out of the window a long time ago, thank goodness, otherwise you would've been a little too self-conscious about how loud you were and how much you talked or made noises in general. Joel was exactly in the same state, you two just couldn't keep your mouths shut even if you didn't say a word - neither of you were complaining about the other being loud, of course, it was delightful.

Your jaw hung open when he started going a little faster and harder, your mind going blank at how big and good he felt from this angle, the small bites you felt around the back of your neck wasn't helping your case in any way. You could only hold onto the pillows your head was resting on and moan into the soft material as he reclaimed what was always his.

You could tell he was having a hard time to not grab your hips, or ass, or any part of you; so you decided to spare him the agony and grabbed his wrist which was right next to your head: "Joel, oh- wait..."

"Did I hurt you?" He immediately froze on spot.

"No, no," You reassured him, a whisper of a moan leaving your bruised lips. "Help me up?"

He was confused at what you meant, but quickly got the idea once you pushed yourself on your knees. This position was particularly one of his favourites and you, despite your current state, wanted nothing more than to be railed by this man at the moment and he did it best when he held you close and slammed into you from behind.

You got on your knees and spread them wider, lowering your lower body down while you supported your upper with your arms; Joel immediately pressed his body against yours, hugged your frame with an arm across your chest and pushed into you once more, getting the loveliest sound out of you: "Look at you- couldn't even wait to heal properly..." He growled into your ear, biting the shell of it gently. He groped your breast with the hand on your chest and pinched your nipple between his pointing and middle fingers, which had you throwing your head back right onto the crook of his neck. He kissed your cheek as he continued pounding into you: "You like it when I fuck you like this, huh?"

"Yes," You whined, face twisted up in utter pleasure and somewhat overstimulation. "So good, Joel, so fucking good~"

You felt his hand, which wasn't on your chest, suddenly lift off the bed and sneak down to your clit, causing you to arch your back and have Joel deeper inside you, if that was even possible at this point and a few strokes to your clit had you coming undone around his cock with a high pitched moan.

"Shit," Joel growled and pulled out right before he came, spilling his seed all over your back and ass. The both of you saw the stars because of how powerful the orgasm was, taking a while to recollect yourselves and just panting and trembling. Joel tiredly reached for napkins which were on the nightstand and wiped you clean with them, gently turning you around and laying on your back. He rested his head right below the valley of your breasts, he couldn't seem to catch his breath; you ran your fingers through his hair slowly, looking at the ceiling then chuckling: "Was that too much for you, cowboy?"

He chuckled lightly: "No... maybe..."

You giggled at the exhaustion in his voice, then placed a kiss on the top of his head; a gesture which made him look up, then rise himself a little upwards so he looked directly down at you. You gave him a warm smile and a quizzical look, then, finally he whispered: "(Y/N)..."

"Joel?" You flashed your teeth at him when your smile widened. You really wouldn't know what to do without him, you could confidently say that he was the love of your life.

And, just like he had read your mind, with a shy smile stretched across his lips, he spoke, voice husky yet silvery:

"(Y/N), will you marry me?"

[jasontoddiefor]

MTTT AU chapter 8: A Place - Room of a Thousand Fountains

Read on AO3

Anakin Skywalker had always been an energetic and vibrant child. He drew your attention whenever he was in the room, even when he was holding himself back. It was one of the reasons Plo had agreed so readily to send little Ahsoka Tano to him. His opinion didn’t count for much, but he was still her Finder and had spent quite a lot of time with her since she had been brought to the temple. She had the same kind of spirit as her Master, and with Ahsoka around, Anakin wouldn’t be able to let his own fire burn as much, burn out, or risk hurting her.

Plo was sure that Anakin would keep her safe, be a light that would guide her.

Even now, Anakin was almost painfully bright in the Force, but he was also hurting to a degree Plo had encountered not once before. Shadows and doubts were clinging to him, stifling him. Only ashes remained of the bonfire and, beneath that thick dead remnant, new saplings grew only slowly.

The pain they had felt in the temple after Skywalker’s arrival was had been intolerable even in its contained form. It should be no surprise that Anakin was still in such a bad condition, yet Plo was taken aback when he came face to face with him.

“Anakin,” he greeted the young man. Plo was the first Council member to arrive at their chosen meeting place, had he caught Ahsoka just the day before and listened to her worries. He had hurried to catch the young Knight on his own, gain insight into how he acted when he wasn’t questioned by the whole Council.

“Master Plo,” Anakin said and inclined his head towards him.

He moved to stand up, but Plo raised his hands to stop him. The action obviously caused him further pain and Plo was not going to add another weight to the many burdens the boy was already carrying.

“I will join you on the ground, Anakin,” Plo said and sat down right next to Anakin.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had simply taken a few moments to rest in the Room of a Thousand Fountains. He knew it certainly hadn’t been since the war had broken out. Plo decided to follow Anakin’s example and took off his shoes. Feeling the grass beneath his feet was soothing; did it remind him of more peaceful times. In the distance, he could hear some younglings playing, and the water of one of the many rivers and waterfalls in these halls rush downwards.

This was certainly a calmer and a kinder place to meet than the Council chambers. Plo could understand why Anakin had asked to assemble here instead of the Council room.

Not that Anakin had asked.

Obi-Wan had directed the Council to this place, the very heart of their temple and the place the furthest away from the busy world outside.

If the report Anakin was to deliver was really as earth-shattering as Obi-Wan words had alluded to, it was probably for the best.

He still wasn’t ready to believe the bits of information Obi-Wan had let slip. Perhaps Plo was clinging to the fickle hope that Anakin’s revelations would clear them up, reveal that they hadn’t allowed a Sith Lord to gain control of the entire Republic.

Plo knew that Obi-Wan had no reason to lie, but hope always died last.

Glancing towards his left, Plo found Obi-Wan was standing in some distance, typing away on his datapad. Plo wasn’t fooled for even a second. He had raised more than one Padawan and he knew that Obi-Wan’s attention was entirely on his student.

It was as adorable as it was reassuring, even if the price for their closeness was high. Over a decade ago, the Council hadn’t been quite sure what they thought Obi-Wan and Anakin would become. When they had let the young Knight take on the boy, it had been accompanied by many worries over their mental health, but the two of them had surprised everyone positively. They had grown up to bring out the best in each other, so much that Kenobi-and-Skywalker was a set expression in everyone’s mouth.

Even now, when both were hurting so obviously, they were holding onto one another.

“Ahsoka has learned well from you,” Plo said. He thought it would be for the best if he tried to ease Anakin into a conversation. Ahsoka seemed like a safe topic to start with, especially given how devoted she was to her Master. Seldom had Plo seen a Master and Padawan pair become attuned to each other so quickly.

Then again, most of the training bonds weren’t forged during wartime.

“She is strong and capable,” Anakin replied, avoiding Plo’s gaze and keeping his own fixed on something in the distance. “I don’t think I taught her anything she couldn’t have figured out on her own.”

“Little ‘Soka was always a smart one, if a bit of a wild card,” Plo agreed.

It was the reason Plo hadn’t picked her to be his Padawan though he currently didn’t have one. Ahsoka deserved a Master who was more similar to her. With Kenobi keeping oversight of them both, she and Anakin had seemed like a good fit.

“She deserves better.”

Anakin sounded so similar to the Obi-Wan from ten years ago that Plo wished he could let the lost young man from back then meet this one now, show them both how far they could go despite insecurities.

“Every Padawan does. A teacher can never be good enough. This is why we have to try.”

“But I wasn’t good enough,” Anakin stated matter-of-factly. “She-“He shut up immediately, mouth pressed in a thin line, as if only now noticing what secrets were escaping him. The Force around them shifted, cradling Anakin like a child and making it seem like he wasn’t quite there, but more a blurry image.

Plo debated pushing, learning what he wanted to keep quiet about, what had happened to little ‘Soka in that vision of his. He couldn’t imagine, didn’t want to imagine anything happening to the sweet girl who had clung to his robes with wide eyes and excitedly babbled to him in the language of her people.

“Ahsoka is very worried about you,” Plo decided to say instead, take their conversation in a different direction. “Apparently, she is quite vexed that you won’t spar with her anymore.”

If Skywalker had tried to fade into the background before, now he was positively trying to disappear in it entirely. What happened that had made him fear every possible topic Plo could bring up? The silence between them was almost oppressive, heavy on their shoulders. Plo decided to stay silent, give Anakin time to come out of his shell again. He didn’t know who much time passed until the heavy feeling lifted and he began to speak.

“I- I forgot how beautiful it is in here.” Anakin curled his toes and spread his fingers so that the grass could get in between them. “I didn’t visit this place in years. I don’t know if it was still standing.”

“That is quite a shame,” Plo commented. “We could take another look around if you feel capable of walking.”

Anakin looked up from the ground, eyeing Plo with confusion and suspicion.

“The others won’t be here for a while,” Plo elaborated. “It would be unwise to let the time go to waste, wouldn’t it? I was told that one of the youngling clans remodeled one of the gardens. I think we have the time to look at it and pass our congratulations on to them.”

Anakin looked torn between desire and fear. Like a child, he looked back to Obi-Wan, who, indeed as Plo had predicted, had been paying close attention to the conversation and was now staring at them. When Obi-Wan nodded, Anakin hesitantly bit his lip. “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I wouldn’t offer it otherwise, Anakin.” Plo rose to his feet and held out his hand.

Tellingly, Anakin took it with his flesh hand. He held onto it perhaps for a moment longer than necessary, but then he let go and buried his hands in the sleeves of his robe, hiding them and their trembling away.

“I believe the youngling garden is a level up. Is there any place you’d like to see on your way there?”

Anakin didn’t reply at first, then he turned to look towards the right. Plo had never been the most knowledgeable about the room, preferring to spend his time with mathematics and not plants, but Anakin knew exactly what laid there.

“The yellow gardens,” he finally replied. “I’d like to see the yellow gardens.”

Plo nodded and then, with Anakin by his side, still barefoot leaving their shoes behind, they walked into the direction of the garden. Plo kept his eyes closely on Anakin the entire time, observing his reaction to the Jedi passing them; they had agreed for a meeting here for a reason after all. There weren’t many people passing them, but they crossed paths with another once in a while, though they never noticed Anakin. Perhaps his idea of wrapping himself up in the Force indeed had merit. Plo wondered whether he had learned that during the war, folding himself so much into his surroundings that he was overlooked unless he wanted to be seen. It was definitely a clever trick.

When they reached the yellow gardens, Anakin ore or less walked past all the bushes and trees without paying them any mind, straight up until he reached the very end where yellow flowers grew in small bushes.

Anakin crouched down in front of them and so very carefully traced over the petals with his fingers.

“Are they your favorite?” Plo asked.

Anakin shook his head. “No, my favorite was- there is a flower I inherited from Qui-Gon. It should bloom in a few months. These flowers are from Naboo. I hate- dislike them.”

Anakin fell silent again, still not looking away from the delicate flowers.

“What do they mean?”

“Grief,” Anakin replied, “for a life lost too early.”

The way Anakin spoke about it, Plo could feel the Force around them start to weep. It wasn’t just grief for a life lost, but Anakin’s grief. It was thick and palpable, so thick in the air, you could almost choke on it. With Anakin’s back turned to him, Plo gently raised a hand to his throat, wondering if there was a malfunction in his mask. Calming himself, he gently reached out himself, running warm fingers over old wounds torn open again.

“I will fix it,” Anakin spoke up suddenly. “I promise you that. I won’t let it happen again. You will all be safe.”

You will all be alive.

Anakin didn’t have to say it, but Plo heard it anyway.

It was, at that moment, all the confirmation that he needed. The broken bits of Obi-Wan’s statement had all been true after all and the future, even if it was one just envisioned, had been darker than all periods of the past.

“We shall do the same,” Plo promised as Anakin stood up again.

As they walked back to the meeting point, Plo quietly tried to think of who was currently on Senate duty, and how quickly he could let them know that the Chancellor was to be considered a threat.

And how much longer they could refuse Palpatine’s inquiries to talking to Anakin.

[moccahobi]

A Spark in the Commons [Yugyeom x Reader]

Pairing: Got7 Yugyeom x GN Reader

Genre: Fluff, Hybrid au, College au, 13+

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: Mentions of a panic attack

A/N: This was done for @got7writerscollective​‘s flightlog project! It’s my first official got7 fic! So please enjoy!

Summery: You help an anxious deer shifter in the shifter union commons and a friendship buds. 

The Shifter Union commons of Seoul University was empty aside from you and the occasional guard who would sweep through to make sure that nothing amiss was happening. Of course nothing ever was on evenings like these where the only person in the commons was an employee getting paid to make sure any shifter in need had someone. Some nights were more wild and full of shifters who were in various states of shifting, but you didn’t like to work those nights. You prefered staffing the less crowded times when there were next to no one in the commons and you could work on homework while getting paid. Even with the occasional person who would come in, the quieter nights were best in your personal opinion. 

This evening was one of those quiet nights. You’d been alone in the common space for almost an hour, the last shifter having left after the two of you had a conversation about a class they were taking. It was just as you finished writing your tenth page of your peace studies essay that you felt the strung and pungent smell of burnt toast and something more bitter made you look up to see an anxious deer shifter, his antlers parting his hair as he approached the open common’s room.

“Hello! Welcome to the Seoul University’s shifter union!” You said cautiously, your eyes meeting his large, blown out ones with worry as he finally entered the commons.

The man stopped stiffly, tightly gripping his bag and not breaking eye contact with you, his nose flaring as he sniffed the room. Breaking eye contact first, you gave him a once over, struck by how still he was. You were glad that you took blockers this morning, your predatory raccoon pheromones not filling the room this moment and making the poor shifter feel more anxious and he didn’t need that. Poor man was working himself up enough already.

“How can I help you?”

He didn’t move, a small squeak leaving him.

“Would you like a private room to shift in?” You pointed to a door to the right of you that led to some small rooms sterile for shifters who needed to engage with their animal form privately for a little, “The union has some rooms for people right over there.” 

He lowered his eyes which were looking more and more deer-like by the second and quickly walked over to the door that led to the private rooms, closing loudly behind him. A sigh left you as you tried to return to your paper. Many times shifters needed space when their stress and anxiety forced them to shift, but you knew that before the man left you’d need to talk to him. 

Part of your job at the shifter union required you to  record his use of the room, check in to make sure that he was ok, and that the emergency need of the space wasn’t due to any issues on campus. You worried about him trying to run off the second he calmed down enough to return to his human form, having dealt with many shifters who feared using the union for its help or felt like they had to return to class immediately after a forced shift. They never had to. The union worked out a deal with the school to make sure forced shifts were seen as excused absences if filed through the union. You loved this job and how it allowed you to help your fellow shifters. You’d be damned if you didn’t take your work seriously. 

In fact, part of the reason you got on pheromone blockers was to make prey shifters more comfortable around you (the other part simply due to you not enjoying the feeling of heat and regular blockers kept your heat at bay). At the thought of pheromones, you got up, opened one of the windows and lit a candle in an attempt to start breaking up the stress pheromones that hung in the air. 

What sounded like a constant clatter of hooves made it hard to focus on your paper. It wasn’t like you could look at what was happening, the rooms had windows high up to allow light in but not let people see what those who were decompressing were doing. Somehow, the noise of the anxious shifter became background clatter and you managed to carve out a good chunk of your essay before you started to hear more… human-like movements in the back space. 

Your mind drifted to how you could get his attention without scaring him when he finally exited. There was a chance that he was informed about the processes the commons tries to have when the rooms are used but there is also a chance that he is completely unaware of them. There were many shifters who didn’t know the protocol. Plus,  if you did need to get his attention, you didn’t want to startle him or make it look like he was in trouble for using the space for three hours. The decompression rooms were here for moments like this after all. You heard the telltale click of the door opening but before you had time to try to get his attention, he spoke. 

“I… thank you for letting me use the room for so long.” His voice was soft and smooth and, unlike last time, you were the one whose eyes widened and felt frozen in place. 

He was good looking and smelling when he wasn’t sending off stress pheramones every which way, and his voice… it was so soft.

You floundered for a second before coughing, “N-No problem. They’re here for all shifters. Which room did you end up using? I will want to tell the next person working the union commons to make sure it gets cleaned.” 

“I used the room number… 3,” He said while leaning back to verify. 

A silence hung in the air after he spoke, he was clearly waiting for you to speak but you were still frozen. He hesitated before slowly walking past you, his eyes trained on you as if waiting to see if you kept talking or if he was free to go.

“Before you go… may I ask…” 

You froze… you knew how you were supposed to go about getting the information. You needed to ask for his student ID, name, and why they needed the room… but something about this man was making words hard for you. Your mind was blanking and stuttering as it tried to function. 

“Yes?” 

“I-If you have time, we like to keep a record of who uses the rooms and why. Mostly just to keep track… but also if you were using it because of…” 

Come on, Y/n! You knew this stuff! Why were you struggling so much now?

You sighed, “If it was caused by a staff member or a fellow student, the union can take action to protect your rights as a shifter. There are also options to message professors or coaches to excuse possible absences if the room was used for a stress shift. Also… I, as a worker, um… I work here and part of my job is to be an ear for venting and… all that… I am not a mandatory reporter too so if that is a worry… uhh… don’t.” 

He nodded slowly, “Uhh… I have a class… now,” He mumbled and pointed back to the entrance of the commons, “was on my way to it when I got a little… overwhelmed…”

Did he not check his phone yet? Any evening class was going to be done at this time you thought, checking the clock on your computer just to verify.

“Sir, you were in the room for three hours.”

“What?!” His eyes widened and you noticed his pupils grow once again. 

Quickly, you jumped up and walked over to where he was standing, “Don’t worry about it! If you give me a list of your professors, I can email them! This can count as an excused absence! There’s no need to worry.”

His eyes seemed to gloss over as he stumbled back slightly, his breaths coming out shift and fast. Quickly, you moved to guide him back to one of the nearest chairs that was only a few steps away and plush, gently rubbing his arm as he took a sharp intake of air and collapsed onto the chair, his horns slowly growing again and pushing some hair back.You got up and locked the door to the union entrance before returning to help. While it was normally policy to keep the door open and unlocked all times a staff member was in, you could risk making sure no one interrupted this moment to make sure this student felt safe (especially since you were a fairly small school and there were only 1000 shifters… out of 5000 students in the school and it was dinner rush). 

By the time you did make it back to him, he was starting to hyperventilate, his eyes distant and his antlers growing by the second. At this point, his distress pheromones were making the air heavy and hard to breath in and you were thankful that the window was open. You simply sat next to him and waited. At this point, if you tried to touch him, he would likely feel even more panicked and you didn’t want to do anything that could possibly harm him. Panic attacks were hard enough without any extra stressors.

The panic attack came in waves and you sat with him through it until he was able to speak some, but instead of letting him even think about apologizing, you simply started to ask him about the room. How many grey items were there? Purple? Green? And so forth until his breathing was calmer and you stopped being showered in his stress pheromones. 

“My name’s Yugyeom, by the way.” He said after a minute of silence when he finally calmed down more.

“Nice to meet you Yugyeom, I’m Y/n.” 

As it turned out, Yugyeom was a transfer just a year below you and had just declared his major the day he came in. You could easily see how the stress of being a transfer, with a human roommate (who didn’t want him to shift), delaring, and the start of a seven week night course could compound. That night, the two of you talked until Yejin, one of your coworkers came for her shift and forced you out so that you could get some sleep. The two of you left in a fit of laughs and then walked around campus and talked even more until you barely had enough money to drive back to your apartment. Despite how the night started, it was probably the best night of your whole week and you were hoping to talk to Yugyeom whenever you saw him next to get his number and hopefully hang out… Although you were tempted to try to pursue a romantic relationship as well. 

The thing was, that after that night you didn’t see him for a whole week! You’d see his name on the record of people who used the shifting rooms, would sometimes have to clean up after him, and even saw him around campus some. Sadly, it seemed as if your schedules never matched up to see eachother again and despite all the near meet-ups, you didn’t have a chance to talk to him again. You wanted to as well… you were worried about the anxious transfer student and wanted to make sure that he was doing ok. 

Part of you wanted to seek him out. The campus was small and you were fairly positive that the two of you saw glimpses of each other (and just didn’t realize) so seeking him out wouldn’t be too hard to do. That part of you was overshadowed by a worry that he didn’t want to try to have a friendship with you or the little flirting you did near the end of the night was too much and now he never wanted to talk to you again. Of course it was a mostly irrational fear (hopefully), but it kept you from trying to find Yugyeom.

 . Just as you were starting to give up hope of seeing him again, you were proven wrong. It was another late shift at the shifter union and since you didn’t have any dier work that needed to be done, you simply sat one one of the couches and read.You were still present in case anyone wanted to be in the space, but you were trying to relax. It was somewhat hard though as you were also very aware of the security guard who was slowly meandering around the unions commons and making sure that everything was ok. As the guard spent more and more time slowly walking around the commons, you started paying less and less attention to your book, instead your senses honing in on the guard. It was likely due to your raccoon part that you felt so cautious around the guard but the longer he stuck in the union commons, the worse you felt about him. 

He was taking glances at you. Maybe he was just double checking to make sure all was alright but your mind started to wander. You hadn’t had issues with this guard but you knew that some of the security guards were iffy around the shifters they thought they could dominere. Part of you wished that you weren’t on pheromone blockers so you could show him that you were not a shifter to be messed with. That you could be intimidating and a force to be reckoned with. Technically raccoons were apex predators.

Before your mind started to wander further about how you could intimidate or protect yourself against the guard, the union door opened and the smell of Yugyeom filled your senses. Almost as soon as it hit your nostrils, you felt yourself relax. Part of you told yourself that it was simply due to having another person in the room and a male shifter at that (another part of you swooned when you caught a glimpse of Yugyeom in all his glory). 

The guard  huffed and, as Yugyeom started to settle into a seat somewhat near you, the guard left the room. As he left, you wondered what he was thinking and if he actually wanted to try something or if your anxiety was all in your head. You really hoped it was all in your head. 

Slowly, you relaxed in your seat, part of your brain still focusing on Yugyeom while you tried to continue reading. His smell comforted you.  You didn’t know why, but you didn’t feel the need to question it. Instead, you simply settled further into your chair and focused on your book again, taking deep breaths all the while.

As the night dragged on, you occasionally checked on Yugyeom to make sure that he was ok (and maybe see if he was looking at you. During all your “sneaky” glances, you were once again struck by how handsome he was. Even as his brows furrowed in confusion and got ink on his nose, he was so good looking. No one should look as good as he looked while doing school work.

At one point, you had to stifle a small laugh when you saw him reach for some drink he brought with him only to realize that it was empty. The shocked face he made when he realized made you want to swoon and get him another drink as well, but you didn’t want to speak and further break the delicate silence. Apparently Yugyeom must have heard your laugh because he looked up and met your eyes. Both of you simply stared at each other in awkward silence.

Fuck.

“Uh… what were you drinking?” You asked, cringing as each word was spoken.

A sinkhole would be wonderful at this point. You really didn’t want to answer and yet he was simply looking even more confused as the silence festered, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to think of what to say in response. 

Fuck.

Without even giving him time to answer, you excused yourself hastily, embarrassment filling you to the brim as you practically ran out of the commons. Now you had another issue to worry about as well… what would be your excuse for leaving?

You were such a dumbass for leaving. 

Fuck.

Yugyeom was surely going to answer if you hadn’t left, and now that you suddenly left he probably thought you were rude and most definitely wouldn’t want to be your friend. All your stuff was still in the commons as well and you still had another two hours that you were supposed to be working the commons before your shift was done. It wasn’t like you could just leave and not return for the night.

The only plus you could see was that you had your lanyard with you. At least you could get something at a vending machine or something. It wasn’t the most acceptable reason to walk out of the commons before he could answer but at least it was something. 

At that thought, you briskly walked to the closest vending machine, hoping no one who was still working late in the building wouldn’t look at you or try to talk to you. It was just down the hall so it wouldn’t take you too long to get something and return as long as no one talked to you. 

Before you punched in a number for one of the foods in the machine though, you found yourself realizing that you had no idea what he liked to eat. As if tonight couldn’t get any more embarrassing. It was like part of you was dying as you stared angrily at the vending machine for help (not like it was sentient and could suddenly shout “This is the food Yugyeom gets every time!”).

In the end, you settled for getting him one of your favorite snacks from the vending machine and praying that Yugyeom had some sense in food. As you slowly walked back to the commons, different scenarios played through your mind depending on how he reacted. It wasn’t until you almost entered that you wondered if he was even still in the commons. 

He was, thankfully. 

When you entered, you stopped at the door though, suddenly worried about going up to Yugyeom and giving him the snack… It wasn’t a big deal… but what if he was allergic to what you got? Or what if he…

“Are you just going to stand by the door?” His voice cut through your thoughts.

You coughed awkwardly, “No… Sorry for leaving so suddenly earlier… I… uh… I had to pee. Badly. To make it up though…” You shuffled to him and quickly set the snack in front of him, “Here’s a snack. I didn’t know what to get you so I got my favorite.”

He looked shocked, “Thank you! I love this snack! I was drinking a matcha latte by the way. The cafe downstairs makes a really good latte. I’m addicted.”

“They are so amazing.” You laughed and nodded, quickly sitting in your seat again as relief filled you, “I remember having like five a day until I ran out of swipes for it on my card and had to struggle without them for the rest of the semester… which had like two months left.”

Yugyeom snorted and you felt a jolt of excitement at hearing it, “Yeah. One of my friends is that way with their coldbrews. Loves their honey and vanilla one.” He scrunched up his nose cutely, “It doesn’t taste good to me though.”

“You know… if you want really good matcha stuff. There’s a cafe off campus near the town’s library that is all matcha themed. They have some other stuff but almost everything uses matcha in it and it’s amazing.” 

“That sounds amazing… I’d love to go sometime… maybe…” Yugyeom stopped and you noticed a deep blush grow on his face, “Maybe we could go together sometime.”

“I’d like that a lot.” 

You felt positively giddy as you waited for Yugyeom outside of the union commons the following day, your mind racing as you tried to look calm and collected. Of course, almost every shifter in the room could smell the anxiety wafting off of you as you waited but all of them had the decency to act like you weren’t anxious… well except for Yejin who was another shifter who worked at the union and was probably your closest friend that you also worked with. 

As soon as she saw you show up with nothing but a small backpack that only held a few things and smelled your anxiety, she knew right away that you weren’t in the commons to relax. When you told her that you were meeting with a… a friend, she got all excited (even more excited when you confessed that you were here earlier than needed). You weren’t normally someone who was overly worried about time, especially when it came to hanging out, but Yugyeom made you nervous and you wanted to impress. 

While Yejin started to complain about you not telling her sooner, you felt thankful that you hadn’t. She was amazing and you loved her, but you knew that if you told her that you were hanging with a guy you had a crush on, she would try to style you up. You didn’t think that this was the type of occasion for that. Besides, Yugyeom probably meant it as a friendship hang out and not a date hangout. Your gay ass never knew how to handle good looking people who wanted to be friends… especially when they were as sweet and good looking as Yugyeom. 

You so had a crush on the guy. 

Fuck.

“Haha. Looks like we both had the idea of arriving early.” Yugyeom’s laugh broke you from your train of thoughts. 

You looked up to see him enter the commons and make a b-line to you, and you were struck with how handsome he was. Not that he wasn’t normally. He always looked good, but he looked amazing in the large blue sweater and skinny jeans. What topped it off was that his hair was swept back in a graceful windblown manner, unlike the past few times where it rested in a simple bowl cut that still managed to make him look amazing.

Like you, there was also a smell of nervousness that radiated off of  him, but neither of you mentioned the nervous smells. If anything, his anxiousness made you feel more excited and comforted. Maybe Yugyeom thought of this as something more than two potential friends hanging out… just like you did. 

You tried to smile as naturally as possible (although, it probably looked slightly pained), “Yeah! I mean… I had a shift here just before this.”

“Oh.” Yugyeom’s smile faltered slightly and you immediately knew you messed up.

“Not like I wouldn’t have arrived early if I didn’t have a shift,” You laughed awkwardly, the two of you now walking to your car to go to the matcha shop, “Honestly, I am so bad with time, if it wasn’t’ for my shift, I would have probably been here two hours early instead of just thirty minutes early.” 

“I thought you just got off of a shift?” Yugyeom smirked and you blushed.

“I… Yeah. I mean… I got off two hours ago, went to get ready, and then I returned… not…” 

Yugyeom laughed loudly and shook his head, effectively cutting you off. Before either of you had time to respond, you made it to your car and in a somewhat awkward silence, the two of you got in and drove to the matcha place. The actual time in the cafe was… amazing. 

Laughter and amicable conversation filled the whole evening as the two of you tried multiple foods and drinks together. Before you knew it, the sun set and you had to drop Yugyeom off at campus before returning to your apartment for the night, a pile of reading waiting for you to work on the next day. All throughout the next day, you felt as if you were floating on cloud nine, a dazed smile stuck on your face when you thought back on the time at the cafe. 

It was only after not seeing Yugyeom around for a few days that you started to feel anxiety pool and bubble in you once again. 

Did you do something wrong?

You’d given him your number… he knew where he could find you… why hadn’t you two talked since?

Suddenly, you started to feel jumpy and worried, reliving the moments at the cafe over and over again so see if there was something you possibly did wrong to make Yugyeom not want to associate with you again. Maybe it was because the two if you barely talked about shifters… You weren’t a common shifter and people often had trouble guessing normally but you are now on pheromone blockers as well and that adds a whole extra layer of befuddlement, but what type of shifter you were shouldn’t matter… unless was Yugyeom one of those shifters that didn’t like associating with predators? 

No. Surely he couldn’t be that way. 

Prey shifters didn’t often use pheromone blockers in the first place… he had to have known that you were some sort of predator… so that couldn’t be it… right? 

Surly… 

You sighed and shook your head to try to release some of the anxiety you were holding. It wasn’t good for you to hold it all in like this. There was barely any time for you to shift and relax lately and at this point. It would probably give you less stress to just find Yugyeom yourself and ask instead of dwelling on why the man hasn’t messaged you yet. You didn’t need people stress along with the regular school and shifter stress. But damn, you couldn’t stop dwelling on how stupid you were for not asking for his number in return. 

Tiredly, you picked at the dinner in front of you, your body feeling the stress building. This wasn’t how you wanted to spend your Friday. You planned to go out later in your racoon form and run around for hours on end, but now that you were thinking more about it, maybe it would be good for you to spend more time in your shifter form this weekend. You didn’t want to return home yet. The apartment was empty and while normally you enjoyed the alone time, you felt the need to be around people today. 

Maybe you could put your stuff in the shifter commons and wander around campus… although many humans didn’t enjoy seeing raccoons around so maybe it would be better if you stayed in the shifter commons so that no one got too startled by you. Most people wouldn’t bat an eye at an animal in the commons. 

After picking at some more of your food, you put your dishes in a bin for the cafeteria staff and walked off, each step making you more excited for spending some time in your animal form. Inside the shifter commons there were probably a handful of people, some half-shifted and some chilling around in their animal forms.

“Hey Yejin!” You said with a smile as you made your way to Yejin (who was staffing the common today).

“Omg! Y/n! It’s so good to see you here today! I was meaning to ask, do you think you could take my shift Monday? Jisoo asked me out and Monday works best for them.” Yejin was smiling broadly as she spoke.

“Sure. Can you watch over my stuff? I want to shift and while I can still watch over it myself, with you here, I can wander more.”

“It’s a deal!” You responded eagerly, already putting your bag under her desk, your ears excitedly popping out. 

Fairly painlessly, you shifted, your clothes falling around you as you grew smaller and smaller. As soon as you fully shifted, you felt relief flood you. In the back of your mind, there was still stress to worry about, but right now, you felt relaxed and relieved. You weazled out of your heap of clothes excitedly and watched as Yejin nudged them under the table with the rest of your stuff before running off to explore the commons. In your human form, the commons were a usual gathering place but as a raccoon, it was a jungle of excitement. Soon enough, you found yourself following your nose which had locked onto some tasty smelling food somewhere in the room. You weren’t likely going to get to eat the food but you’d be damned if you weren’t going to try. The smell led to someone you didn’t expect to see in the commons.

Yugyeom. 

He hadn’t noticed you yet though and you had half the mind to turn around and explore elsewhere when someone he was next to pointed at you and started excitedly shouting.

“A trash panda! Omg! I’ve never seen a raccoon shifter before! Omg! This is so cool!” The man kept gushing as he stood up and looked at you closely, his eyes wide.

You got a strong dog wiff coming off of him and his intensity made you freeze. The man must have gotten the hint because the next second he was whimpering and closing his eyes slowly. Part of you wanted to laugh because most shifters still understood what people were saying but another part of you was comforted at how he tried to communicate with you. Slowly you closed your eyes as well before making grabby motions with your hands. You wanted to sniff him more.

He extended one of his hands, clearly understanding what you were saying, and you sniffed him slowly. 

“Yugyeom! Come introduce yourself! It’s rude to just stare!” The man said, ushering Yugyeom to join the both of you in the ground.

Yugyeom slowly blinked at you and extended his hand which you happily sniffed, enjoying the comfort that washed over you with his smell. At this point, you were fairly positive that he knew who you were but he didn’t say anything.

“Oh! Would you be willing to at some point tonight, we will be here all night,” The man shot Yugyeom a look at that addition, “Come talk to us in your human form? I’d love to be friends with you!”

“Their name is Y/n, Jackson. We’re… we’re friends.” You relished as blush spread across his face as he spoke and nodded.

“Omg! This is the person that you were telling me--” 

“Nope! Don’t continue!”

“That you want to ask on a date?” 

Your world stopped and you felt your eyes widen in shock and excitement. 

He wanted to ask you out. 

You started to jump around and made excited squeaking noises, before you could stop yourself you jumped onto Yugyeom, excitedly scenting his arm.

Jackson started laughing happily, “I guess that means they want to go on a date with you too dude!

[jiaraendgame]

Hi! Can you write a little blurb about Rafe?? Maybe like his reaction to you deep cleaning your guys’ apartment and maybe you found a number or something? And he reassures you that it’s not what you think?? Idk something like that. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, thank you!

Wires Crossed Rafe x Reader

A/N: Lovely anon I’m sorry this took two days to finish up! Thank you so much for being the first person ever to ask me for a blurb! I had planned for it to be done way sooner, but uh I got a bit carried away. I am not good at writing anything small so oops! This is lowkey no longer a little blurb as requested but a full imagine/fic I hope you like this little adventure! 

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of past drug abuse, baby angst, fluff, domestic Rafe. Non-canon Rafe IE he isn’t a murderer. Probs out of character a bit cause I lowkey usually write the psycho mean Rafe so this was a challenge but I enjoyed it!

Word Count: 3k+

It was no surprise you were up before Rafe was. You’d always been an early riser. However, when you awoke right as the sun just began to kiss your cheeks through the blinds, you knew you’d be waiting quite some time for your sleepy boyfriend to join you for the day. You look up at Rafe’s soft face. Mouth slightly ajar as faint hums of breath leave his lips. He looked so saintly at this moment. You didn’t want to disturb him, so you attempted to slip from his arms, but the motion caused the boy to stir. Curse his light sleeping, you thought. The boy's eyes softly fluttered open and gazed down at you as he instinctively pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Good morning, angel…” his voice slurred in its sleepy tone. “Where are you going so early this morning? It’s barely even…” He glances at the clock sitting on the nightstand. “Baby… it’s barely even 6:30am, don’t leave me yet.” He whines as he wraps his arms back around your torso.

You giggle at the pout on his face as he reels you in burying his face in your neck. You can feel his breath on your skin, tempting you to lay here with him for a moment longer. However, you knew if you didn’t get up now, you’d be late for the events Rafe had planned for the day.

“I didn’t mean to wake you, babe, I was just trying to prepare for today. Seeing as you haven’t told me any of the events you had in store. I need to be ready for anything with you.” A light giggle escapes your lips.

“ Just close your eyes again love, you can drift back off for a while, and in another hour or so, you can join me, okay? Just because I’m up doesn’t mean you have to be.”

“But baby doll, I want to make sure you are rested for the day I have planned. You know me and the boys can get a bit chaotic, I don’t need you getting worn out because of us.”

It’s true whenever Topper and Kelce visited from the Outer Banks, you were sure in for a rush of excitement that often ended up tiring you out. Unfortunately, you were the type of person who once you were awake, there was no way for you to fall back asleep. Even if you are comfortable and safe in the arms of your love.

The boy was drifting back to sleep, and you used this as your opportunity to free yourself from his loving grip. One more sleepy glance and sigh, leaving Rafe’s lips. He knew he has lost this battle. 

“Looks like you’re the one who will need the rest babe, just sleep a bit more I will be out in the living room when you are ready to get up.” You whisper to Rafe placing a soft but chaste kiss to his lips. “Sweet dreams, my sleepy boy.”

He smiles as you pull away, “I’ll be dreaming of you, angel.” With that, it was not long before Rafe had fallen back into his slumber. You raise from the bed as softly as you can silently leave the bedroom, closing the door with a subtle click. Today was shaping up to be interesting if Rafe was this lovey-dovey in his sleepy state.

Looking around your small apartment, you began to realize that neither of you had cleaned for days. There was glassware and other miscellaneous dishes piled in the sink. Books and papers spread across the breakfast bar from your late-night study session. But the worst culprit was the living room. There were clothes on the floor next to the almost toppling hamper and throw blankets splayed across the back of the futon. 

It’s not that you and Rafe were messy, quite the opposite usually, but as of late with everything going on, you both let your daily tasks slip your minds. The small one-bedroom apartment looked as if a tornado blew through it, and thus you found your distraction to keep you occupied until Rafe was ready to go to brunch. Topper and Kelce were visiting from the Outer Banks, and you couldn’t have them see your apartment in this state. Even if they were used to more luxurious accommodations, you didn’t want them to feel uncomfortable in your home. These were Rafe’s best friends, after all, you had to remind them that you could hang with the best of them even if you lacked the money they had. 

Even though you had been with Rafe going on 3 years now, you worried you weren’t good enough for him. So you always went the extra mile to impress the people in his life. Even though you didn’t have to. Rafe loved you for you, and you found each other at the right time. You saved Rafe from his downfall of addiction. Taking him in when his father kicked him out. Saving him from himself and ultimately helping him grow as a person. He uplifted you and motivated you to work towards your dreams that you once believed would amount to nothing. He proved to you that you were worth more than the words of hate that your mother spewed to you daily. He pushed you to achieve the best, and now you are going for your degree in criminal justice. The final push you needed to go for your goal was witnessing Rafe break down when his father was sentenced for murder. That nearly sent the boy over the edge, but you pulled him back, and that was when Rafe knew you were the one. You two were like a puzzle that just clicked, fitting into place so perfectly it was frightening for both of you.

Sighing at the chores in front of you, you decide to tackle the kitchen first, cleaning the dishes while simultaneously getting water everywhere. This is why Rafe was in charge of the dishes. You always seemed to make more of a mess than you planned to. Rafe would always joke that you weren’t meant to be a housewife. After cleaning up the dishes and mopping up the new mess you created on the floor, your first task was done. Before wiping down the counters, you cleaned off and organized your notes and books from the breakfast bar. These were the times you really wished you had a house with its own study, much like Rafe’s childhood home. It was evident with the two of you living together for so many years that you started to run out of space. As you cleaned, things began to feel better, the atmosphere calmer. 

You threw on a pot of coffee so it would be ready for when Rafe woke up, knowing he needed his caffeine before facing the day. Let’s just say if he didn’t get his morning cup, he was the poutiest and grumpiest of bears all day. You giggled to yourself, thinking back to the first time Rafe stayed over with you. You never drank coffee. It wasn’t your beverage of choice, but boy did you quickly invest in a small coffee maker when you saw him without caffeine. He stumbled out of your bedroom, groggy rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and subconsciously raided your cabinets for a mug. The shock on his face when you told him you didn’t drink coffee still makes you chuckle. He whined at you like a child until you took him to the nearest Starbucks. He was cute when he was grumpy, but boy did his childlike manner know how to get under your skin. This boy was no morning person.

Out in the living room, you started to gather up the throw blankets and folded them neatly, placing them inside the ottoman next to the futon. Sighing, you knew you had to attack the mountain of laundry next. You gathered the near toppling hamper and dragged it to the door so it would be ready to run down to the laundromat, but you couldn’t leave the excess pile on the floor. You grabbed an empty basket and started throwing clothes into it. A mix of sweatshirts, pants, polos, and crop tops quickly filled the small wicker basket The remaining items left behind are a pair of your jean shorts followed by a pair of Rafe’s khakis.

You picked up Rafe’s tan khaki shorts, and they feel heavier than normal. You dig your hand into his pockets and pull out the spare apartment keys that hung on a lanyard. Setting them on the table, you notice a torn piece of paper had slipped to the floor. You pick it up and see a number scribbled out on it. That was odd.

Why did Rafe have a random number in his shorts? Why didn’t he just keep it on his phone if he needed it? Who’s number was this? Was he using again? Your head spiraled, and panic set it. There was no way he’d hurt you, right? Not after everything you’ve two have been through. He loved you, right? You loved him. 

You knew better than to panic, but those three little words swallowed your heart when you thought of Rafe, and if there was any chance, he didn’t feel the same you had to know. Against your better judgment, you pull your phone off the charger and start to dial the number. Hesitating before pressing send.

Ring

Ring

Ring

Click...

“Hello?”

You gulp at the sound of a sickeningly sweet voice that answered the phone.

“Uhm yeah hi, sorry, but w-who is this?”

“This is Stacey, who is this?” The sweet voice sounded just as confused as your thoughts were.

“I found this number in my b-“ you pause before finishing your sentence. Instead, opting for asking what you need to know.

“Do you know Rafe Cameron?” You blurt out the string of words connected by one fast breath.

“Oh! Rafe! Yes, of course, I know him. He’s such a cutie!” The voice rang out with a giggle.

“We spent some wild times together back in the day, but anyways I never caught your name or why you’re calling actually.” She spoke a hazed tone to her voice.

The line was silent. You didn’t know what to say or think anymore. Only one thought rang in your head. Rafe was cheating on you.

Before Stacey could speak again, you hung up the phone. A mix of hurt and angry tears slipping from your sockets. You couldn’t believe he did this. All the times he told you you were his only one had all been lies. Nothing made sense, and throwing 3 years of a relationship down the drain hurt more than you could have ever imagined.

You loved this boy with all your heart, and he shattered yours. Your emotions took over as if you were on autopilot. You watched your actions unfold from within. You picked up the basket of clothes and stormed into the bedroom. The doorknob hit the wall startling the sleeping boy, but before he could realize what was going on, you dumped the clothes onto him in a huff.

“Did ya lose something, babe?” You seethe through your teeth.

The groggy boy wiping sleep from his eyes stutters out, barely coherent words.

“Wh-What? What’s going on? Baby, are you okay?”

You scoff at Rafe, “Am I okay? Ha! I’d be a lot better if I had never found this fall out of your pocket this morning, asshole.”

You ball up and chuck the torn paper at Rafe, who looks from your beet-red face back to the paper. Eyes going wide at your discovery.

“You’re such an asshole, you know that? I can’t believe after everything you’d stoop so low Rafe Cameron.”

“I really fucking thought you’d changed, that you weren’t some arrogant prick who begged the world to praise the ground you walked on, but I guess I was wrong. Can take the boy from the Kooks but can’t take the Kook out of the boy.” You spat your words out.

“N-no baby, you don’t understand hold on just let me explain!”

“Explain what? That you cheated on me with some bitch named Stacey? That you held my heart in your hand and knowingly crushed it just to get your rocks off? Pathetic Rafe truly and utterly pathetic!”

Rafe was visibly upset, looking at you through glassy eyes. He didn’t want you to be hurt. That’s the last thing he wanted, but there was no way you’d listen to him that this was all just a big misunderstanding.

“Baby doll, please just take a few breaths. This is not what you think.” He sweeps his arms up and pulls your hands into his. You sit on the edge of the bed, avoiding his gaze.

“I swear to you I would never in my life do anything to hurt you. Babe, how could I? I love you more than anyone on this godforsaken planet.”

You looked over to Rafe, the anger you held, turning to pure sadness. You didn’t know what to think, so all you could do was listen. 

He rubbed circles with his thumbs on the backs of your hands. Holding you tight. “You’re my person, baby doll. My only person. You came into my life when I was so lost. You picked me up when my father kicked me out. You got me to get clean and was with me through all the relapsing and withdrawals. You never left my side. Always faithful. I would never dream of breaking your heart when you’re the one who found mine.” 

You sigh a shaky breath and look into your beautiful boyfriend's eyes, still just as lost, but you knew what he said was real. The warmth in your heart grew once more. Leaning into his touch, you speak with a sheepish tone.

“If this is a misunderstanding, then tell me the honest truth, Rafe. Who is Stacey, and why did you have her number?”

Rafe cups your face with his hands and looks you straight in the eyes.

“Y/N, I love you, okay?” 

He waits a minute, and getting no response from you, he continues. 

“Stacey is one of Sarah’s old friends from the Banks. We hung out a bit back in the day, but that was years ago. She was a big partier and a bit of an enabler. We would both do lines together and raise a bit of hell, but honestly, that's all our friendship was.”

“Okay... why are you talking to her now?”

“Well, baby, Sarah gave me her number because Stacey runs a well known...  uh, business.” The hesitation in your boy's voice makes you wince. Was he lying again?

“And what kind of business are we talking about? Rafe, you told me you’d be honest. I-I can’t take the lying, please just be straight with me here.”

Rafe sighed as he was about to come clean, but luck was on his side. You hear the rough knock knock knock come from the front of the apartment. Your guests were here. You knew this was his escape plan now, hoping you wouldn’t bring anything up in front of his friends. Usually, he’d be right, but this time you weren’t letting him off the hook. Not with how hurt you were feeling.

Rafe and you both stepped towards the door, opening it to see two smiling faces. Topper and Kelce looked strangely eager.

“My boys! You couldn’t have come at a better time!” The shirtless and sweat-panted boy spoke ushering his friends in.

They exchanged hugs and a few quick whispers as you stood back arms crossed.

“So, do you two know about Stacey?” The words fall out of your mouth.

They look at her and back to Rafe, concern in their eyes.

“Uhh, I mean, we know Stacey from back in the day,” Kelce spoke openly.

“Yeah she was pretty cool, I wonder what she’s doing nowadays. Don’t see her around the Banks anymore, really.” Topper adds.

“Oh, I’ll tell you what she’s been up to. Her and Rafe have been talking ain’t that right handsome?”

Rafe sighs, eyeing the boys. Before he could speak again, you spoke up.

“So to continue our conversation, Rafe, what business is Stacey in, and why you have any interest in it?” 

The two boys are wide-eyed. “Y/N really, there is something you're missing here.”

“Yeah, a real misunderstanding!”

“Oh, not you guys too! I can’t believe this. Why don’t you see what’s happened is wrong?”

“Baby doll, can I just say one more thing before you make up your mind in what has happened?”

“Fine... this better be good, Cameron.”

Rafe quickly turns to his boys, huddled up like they were having a meeting. Mumbles exchanged. Through the hushed tones, you managed to catch Topper asking Rafe if he was sure this was the right time and him replying he had no choice he couldn’t lose you.

Rafe turns around and looks you in the eyes, his hand hidden behind his back.

“Y/N, you mean the absolute world to me. You are my everything. You balance me in ways I never knew possible, and every day I wake up, I realize I love you more and more. I’ve grown so much with you in my life, and I wouldn’t beg for it to change. I want our lives to continue to keep growing together. I want our adventures to bring us to crazy places. I want to wake up every day with no doubt in my mind that you are truly and perfectly my girl. Forever. So please listen to me when I say, everything you are feeling right now is so incredibly false. I would never do anything to intentionally harm you. I love you so damn much Y/N, and that’s why I need to know...”

There is a pause as Rafe swiftly drops to his knee. Your mouth hangs open in complete shock. You are stunned at the sight in front of you as he brings his arm out front and opens up a small black velvet box. Inside, a dainty silver band holds a shining crystal clear diamond. Topper and Kelce beam behind the boy kneeling anxious for the next words that fall from his lips.

“Will you marry me?” Rafe’s eyes glass over once more, but not from hurt like earlier but with pure and resounding love for the girl in front of him.

Tears begin to slip from your eyes. You can’t believe you ever thought Rafe would take away all you have built together in the last three years. You felt the guilt in your stomach whirl. Unsure if you can accept the love and admiration coming from the boy you love knelt in front of you.

“Rafe... I am so... so incredibly sorry.” You sob out hands covering your face.

Rafe is up in seconds encasing you in his arms, laying a kiss on your hairline.

“Shh baby doll, it’s okay, I promise. I’m here. It’s okay, love. Don’t be sorry. I know it looked suspicious. I just wanted to surprise you.”

“I-I still don’t understand.”

Rafe chuckles a bit before explaining.

“My love, Stacey is an old friend from Outer Banks. She and Sarah are still pretty tight. And she happens to be in the business of custom jewelry... she makes some of the best work on the east coast.”

Realization dawns on you once more at how terribly you read the situation.

“I was in contact with her cause I wanted to make my girl a custom ring that was one of a kind, just for you and no one else. That’s part of the reason the boys came up. So they could deliver the ring to me.”

“I can’t believe I was so worked up, oh my god baby. I’m so sorry I never wanted to be the jealous girl, but I was just so, so heartbroken at the thought of losing you... I can’t lose you, babe.”

You stand silently inhaling the scent of the love of your life who you screamed at for trying to surprise you with the best gift you’ve ever received.

“So... does that mean she said yes or?” Topper and Kelce chuckle trying to defuse the awkward tension in the room.

You erupt into laughter, and so does Rafe. You wrap your hands around his neck, pulling his lips down to yours.

“Forever and always, baby... yes, I’ll marry you.” At that moment, you encompass him in a deep kiss, not caring you had company in the room. You were hungry for his love and embrace more than ever before.

You couldn’t wait to live the rest of your life with Rafe, and who knew what the future held for you both. One thing was for sure you would tackle it together face on because nothing mattered to you more than the bliss you felt for your one true love.

[mattbflatt-loves-starset]

The Progression of Failed Love - A STARSET Playlist

Y’all ever make a playlist before? That shit is so much fun. Using the music by your favorite artists and ordering them in such a way that portrays your own idea or story... I love it, and I’ve only just started doing it. It’s a very unique way to creatively express yourself. Now that I’ve hyped my audience up, it’s time to break all of your hearts by sharing my playlist of STARSET songs called “The Progression of Failed Love” which follows the story of a typical young couple who just couldn’t make it work. Yes I know, this is a dumb movie trope told a million times and blah blah blah, but this is my blog so deal with it ya fuckin’ dorks… of course I’m kidding, and in all seriousness, this was the most genuine playlist I was able to make. I have my own personal connection to it, and if you’ve had a relationship before, you’ll most likely find a way to connect to it. I enjoy it, and I hope you do as well.

The playlist’s first three songs in order are “Satellite”, “DIE FOR YOU”, and “Starlight”, and they encompass the honeymoon stage of a budding relationship. Let’s call these songs Act I of this story. “Satellite” to me really embodies the feeling one gets when they first fall for someone. The energy is high and all you can think about is what you would do for this individual, with lyrics that support this idea greatly:

“Satellite! Shine on me tonight!

I will be your gravity, I will stay and never leave…

My satellite! Are you here tonight?

Shine your light and set me free.

Take the darkness out of me.

Shine on me!”

The relationship hasn’t started yet, but the interest is growing like crazy. These lyrics hit hard, check out the rest of them here:

STARSET – Satellite Lyrics 

“DIE FOR YOU” is just a more intense version of “Satellite” within the context of this story, but it makes sense because this song represents when the relationship is now official. Both parties have fallen for each other, and the love is starting to run deep. The whole vibe of the song is much more intimate, with a calmer kit part (hot damn Adam Gilbert you are smart with writing your kit parts), but yet the same exact key and even a similar tempo. The songs are so similar, yet so different, and it’s really smart. Kudos to STARSET for this, and as a personal benefit, it makes the story of this playlist flow really well.

Starset - Die For You (Official Audio) 

“Starlight” is a very specific moment in time, and marks the end of the honeymoon phase. The couple is stargazing, and the sky is just beautiful. I see many colors and galaxies in the night sky when listening to this song. The only thing is, they aren’t physically together. Their lives have picked up, and while they can’t be with each other at the moment, they still love each other very much, so they stargazed on a phone call. They are sad that they have to spend less time together, but they reassure each other that they love the other person very much, and that they are inseparable. This song has a very special place in my heart, as it’s just a beautiful song that makes me think a lot. I get a little heartsick listening to it, as it makes me think about memories that are dear to me, but it fits this spot perfectly in my playlist story.

Starset - Starlight (Official Lyric Video)

The honeymoon period has now concluded and we are moving into Act II of this story, where problems arise. This act starts with the song “Telepathic”, which has a frustrating feel to me. The song is from the perspective of only one of the characters, as they feel their significant other expects them to be a mind reader and won’t share emotions by just talking about them. As I’m sure a lot of people understand, this is infuriating to deal with, as it just makes people typically want to slam their head through a fuckin’ brick wall. At the same time, this character is very easily read by their significant other, as they wear their heart on their sleeve, making it seem like their lover is… well… “Telepathic”. This brings up insecurity, and arguments ensue. The lyrics support this idea well, for example:

“But you can read my mind

I feel it all the time.

Felt it all around you…

You had me under spell right from the start

I don’t have a telepathic heart.”

STARSET – Telepathic Lyrics 

The arguments get worse as we progress into the song “FAULTLINE”. This song has a lot to do with pointing fingers and blaming, as now both lovers in this story are outright arguing with each other a lot, and over stupid shit too. They aren’t handling being apart from each other well and are having a hard time with communication due to insecurity and distance. The vibe of this song fits this mood, as it’s got a sparse but tense groove, and the accompanying guitar/synth parts are rough and a bit grungy. Out of all the songs in this playlist, this one takes 3nd place for the lyrics fitting well into the story, with such snippets as:

“First you gotta know, how to play the victim

Hate to tell ya so, but you repeat the symptoms like an aftershock

And I only wanna make it stop…”

And also:

“Caught me shaking at the site, oh

Caught me quaking in my mind, oh

You’re tripping over every fault of mine

You’re breaking open every single time

It’s never black and white, no

Going seismic out of spite, oh

I never know if it’s your fault or mine

You’re breaking open every single time

Faultline.”

STARSET - FAULTLINE (Official Audio)

 Like damn, that entire second snippet is the whole ass chorus. This song fits super well here.

The last song in Act II has some intense, even lustful feelings tied to it, this song being “PERFECT MACHINE”. The couple is desperate to make things work, as they still love each other very much but are really struggling. When they see each other, they engage constantly in what people called “hate-fucking” which ultimately solves nothing, and then fighting after they are done. Yes I know this was a WILD turn out of left field, but this is the story I envision with this playlist, very intense and potentially very real. The song I feel is the entire progression of one… erm… let’s call it a “session” of what was described above. It starts with the lustful feelings I mentioned before, then about one third of the way through the song, the entire feeling changes, becoming very angry and desperate. This song takes 2nd place for lyrics best fitting the story, with the lyrics changing from this:

“Show me your insides, show me your secrets

Show me what you desire… I can fake it”

To this:

“Even you know… even you know, this was all for nothing…”

STARSET - PERFECT MACHINE (Official Audio)

STARSET – PERFECT MACHINE Lyrics 

Again, damn bro. I relate to this part of the story the least, as I’ve never experienced something like this, but holy shit that still cuts deep.

Finally, we reach Act III of this story, the end and the aftermath. This act opens up with “Let It Die”, which is the song that marks the inevitable end of this relationship. This song talks a lot about “breathing back life” into something and I feel that marks the end of a relationship very well. The feelings have been lost and it’s very possible that at least one party has moved on, so it needs to end. There’s not much to say about this song, except the one lyric that really made this song claim its spot on this playlist:

“But you told me, if you loved me, let it die”

Starset - Let It Die (Official Audio)

The relationship is now over, and one of the characters has left the narrative. We now enter the mind of the one who was still holding on to feelings. With this, the penultimate song to this playlist is the iconic “My Demons”. This song paints the image of inner demons attacking someone, and how they once had a significant other that would save them from these demons. The song references sickness, demons, needing help, and other color words that really paint the picture of someone mourning the death of love they once had. It is one of STARSET’s most emotionally impactful songs, and every single OG STARSET fan knows this song. This part of the story is the perfect spot for this song, and though I don’t want to copy another batch of lyrics for the purpose of finishing this story, I strongly encourage you to just listen to the song and pay attention to these lyrics. They’re very audible and very emotionally charged.

Starset - My Demons (Official Music Video)

We have finally reached the end, and the song that ends this whole story is “Ricochet”, another one of STARSET’s best songs. I know what I said about not copying another batch of lyrics to this post, but this song wins 1st place for lyrics relating to the story on this playlist, because this song is literally about reflection on a failed relationship and just wanting to see the other person:

“We were one in the same,

Running like moths to the flames,

You’d hang on every word I’d say 

But now they only ricochet…

We were falling away,

You left me with a bittersweet taste,

But when I send my heart your way,

It bounces off the walls you made,

Ricochet”

COME. ON. You CANNOT tell me this isn’t the best way to conclude this really sad story. This isn’t the only set of lyrics in the song that paints this picture well, THE WHOLE SONG DOES. Back to the story, time has passed and the remaining character still misses their ex-lover. They’ve tried really hard to rebuild some sort of relationship with them, but it just didn’t work. This song is the final stage of their mourning, and while they know very deep down that it will get better, they need this time to grieve.

Starset - Ricochet (Official Music Video)

STARSET – Ricochet Lyrics

I don't relate to this entire story, but it was sure as hell fun to write. I apologize for any emotional pain that I have caused during the telling of this story, but this is what came to mind when I was creating the playlist. You’re a real one if you made it to the end, this being my longest post yet. I really hope you enjoyed.

Links Used (In Order):

https://genius.com/Starset-satellite-lyrics 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJxSNbAer9M 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7tiCEp3K3Rs 

https://genius.com/Starset-telepathic-lyrics 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfqVlwetWfY 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keMBtyjYUPQ 

https://genius.com/Starset-perfect-machine-lyrics 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJtBYAKBByk 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkll0StZJLA 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SaC0YVaIMno

https://genius.com/Starset-ricochet-lyrics

[extremelyblackandwhite]

the unseen one - 30

Pairing: Hades!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: none

A/N: i’ve been foreshadowing this ending since like mid fic and i’m proud for not giving up on this ending which i almost did but thankfully i did (yay plot consistency). i’m rly emotional about finishing another fanfic, it’s been such a joyful ride and i wanna thank everyone who commented and liked/reblogged my work for these past months, you guys are fantastic. enjoy xx 

A kaleidoscope. A kaleidoscope was the first thing that broke through the darkness in various shades of pink, white, and grey. The images were blurry and the colours vibrant as it spun through the darkness, soon enough becoming the only thing occupying what once was a sea of darkness. The once silence that wrapped itself around like a tight hug gave way to the sound of stream water, sounds of nature and spring slightly blooming in her ear drums. What once was nothing was blooming and alive. 

A warm feeling settled over her chest and in a harsh move she opened her eyes, raising her chest and gasping up for air. The first sight was bloom, the perfect utopia of what spring sounded like in every song and every fairytale with various different flowers and tones of various colours. She looked down at her hands, noticing how warm they were, almost too warm and as she was about to snap her head back, petals started falling onto her palms. 

She should be scared, but she somehow wasn’t and as if it had been a taught movement, her hands moved up to her hair, feeling more white petals falling on her palms and legs. Y/N looked around, not understanding where she was standing or where she was for that matter. She was surrounded by a blooming environment, blooming so slowly yet so fast she could see the flower buttons open. 

Slowly but surely her senses started to recover to her, noticing the cold marbled stone she was sat on and the warm sun hit her skin. Bucky. Was Bucky alright? Where was Bucky? Her mind couldn’t wrap itself around her last memory of Bucky’s terrified face. Was he okay? Where was he? She was removed of her line of thinking by a shattering sound. Y/N immediately turned her head towards the sound seeing Hecate mouth wide open as if she had seen something fantastic.

     - Where’s Bucky? - her voice came rather raspy but the goddess of witchcraft was still standing there wondering if Gaia was playing tricks on her. Dead mortals don’t come back to life. Dear gods, dead mortals who gain the hatred of half the pantheon don’t come back to to life as part of the pantheon itself. - Where’s Bucky?!

She questioned again, turning around and placing her bare feet on the grass patch yet unlike normal, the grass did not turn dark green, instead blooming from her steps as if she herself controlled nature. Hecate stopped her by putting herself in front of Y/N. She knew better not to annoy a newly born goddess specially because she didn’t seem to know what she was and therefore had little to no grip with what she could do.

    - I’ll get someone to get him, you need to sit down. - she motioned for Y/N to sit down as carefully as someone handling a bomb. Hecate quickly send a equally confused nymph to go grab the incredibly depressed god of the Underworld.

Y/N sat down against the bark of a cherry blossom, looking at Hecate who had a very confused yet careful look in her eyes. The goddess of witchcraft sat next to Y/N as more petals started to fall on her hands. She had forgotten how it was to be next to a very nervous goddess of spring.

    - Where are these coming from? - Y/N threw the bunch of petals onto the ground, noticing they kept falling onto her hands.

    - They’re coming from you. You need to stop stressing or they’ll keep showing up. No harsh emotions, just breathe. 

    - Why are you talking to me as if I were going into labor? - more petals fell off making her huff, throwing another bunch on the ground. - What’s going on? 

    - In the easiest ways of putting it in ... I would say you’re ... well, the goddess of Spring. - she pointed out at the once dead grooves which were now blooming like the rest of the Elysium. Damn, it was better than the rest of the Elysium with his beautiful tall blossom and fruit trees with a substantial amount of flower bushes and other grass weeds. 

   - The goddess of Spring no longer exists, Bucky told me so. - she replied, very overprotective over the answer she had gotten from her beloved. Like an expression of her huffing, more flower petals fell over on top of her hands. 

   - Goddesses doesn’t cease to exist, specially a goddess responsible for a whole season. They are ... chosen if they cease to exist. The titans seem to have chosen ... well ... I guess you. 

   - That is not funny. - she got up from her sitting position, once again smoothing over the petals that had stuck to the fabric of her gown. Hecate surely was not her biggest fan but she knew what she was and she definitely was not a goddess. At least she didn’t felt like one. How did goddesses even feel? Did they fell any different from mortals? She was about to question Hecate about that fact when two nymphs entered the grooves pulling a very unwilling God of the Underworld with them.

Y/N turned to face him, the first thing calling her attention was the stubble turned beard and the dark bags under his now very wide awake blue eyes almost as if he wasn’t expecting her to be there. Y/N rushed over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck, burying her nose in the space between his neck and neck. Bucky stood still wondering if he was dreaming again or if he had finally managed to overdose himself with ambrosia but no, she was there, she was there with her arms wrapped around him and flowers blooming from the top of her head and dropping onto him. His eyes settled on Hecate who had the same surprised eyes yet slightly less than him. 

Y/N pushed back, noticing something wrong in Bucky’s aura but he was still staring at her. He caressed her jaw with his knuckles, thumb caressing the soft part of her cheek. Noticing its warmth and her soft smile he didn’t know if he wanted to raise her up or kiss her. He settled on kissing her, noticing the newly added honey like taste to her lips and more flowers falling onto their hands.

   - I’m not sure if I adore this. - she caressed his beard, making him chuckle as he kissed her again. - Stop, when was the last time you slept?

   - Long enough, this might be some hallucination of you.

   - No, I’m here. 

>>>>>

The Underworld was a mess and that was something that came rather lightly from Y/N’s point of view as it normally used to be constantly messy full of dead souls and unruly nymphs. However, today, it seemed like everything had broke loose and every single god, goddess, demigods, oracles and every single thing that could be considered mythical and gone down to the underworld for her coronation. Was she happy about it? No. Was James happy about it? Also no. They’d rather be in their secluded little spot of the underworld without anyone around. However, protocol demanded the new goddess of Spring to have a public coronation if she became Queen of the Underworld. Besides, Y/N was a bit way too cheerful to see those who had wanted that spot see her gain the crown to the Underworld. 

      - I’m going to catch you, sunflower. - Bucky chuckled lowly as he briefly saw the grass she had stepped on bloom with white roses. He heard her giggling in the distance and then it stopped, rendering him alone and somewhat lost and because he wasn’t used to the newly found sunlight, the fresh air and fauna that surrounded him in the Groves, he asked for help from one of the nymphs who were taking care of the flora.

An annoyed nymph turned to be face to face with her King, pointed towards a direction. He was aware that this was supposed to be a fair game, something fun that his beloved had come up with in the moment bored of coronation preparations, but he would rather be done with it quickly so that they could enjoy each other’s companies and bring her back to a very pissed and very stressed Hecate.

He walked and walked, listening always for the river that the undead and nymphs had spoken up and asking ever so often for directions for other servants. They would whisper a “Over there” and point or a “Go North”, and Bucky would believe their words because they had been nothing but loyal to him. In fact, much more loyal to them than others had ever been to him - he found that, in the afterlife, people - or what was left of them - were much calmer and kinder than those who were still alive. 

Soon enough, he found his beautiful Y/N humming by the river. Her delicate feet were dangling and lightly touching the water that ran on the stream and her eyes were shut, head moving to the rhythm of the chirping birds and a small smile played on her lips. Quietly, he inched closer to her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her to him and burying his face in her hair; it smelled of everything good about spring, from freshness to wild flowers and ripe fruit. 

She giggled and kicked her legs up in the air, clearly enjoying the attention she was receiving but also no liking that her little game had come to an end which meant she had to return to the very much annoying job of preparing for the ceremony.

     - Seems like I found you. - the God of the Underworld grinned against her hair, setting her on the ground but holding onto her hips, admiring her figure; her newly found position led to her being constantly adorned with luxurious fabrics, veils with beautiful patterns and so many jewels, mostly gifts from Demeter from all people, but somehow it was when she wore something as simple as a white dress enveloping her form and golden sandals that he found her the most mesmerising. The simplicity and purity that he had fallen so hard for that he moved heaven and earth to have, regardless of what everyone else said, regardless of how lowly they found Gaia to have named a mortal Goddess of Spring. She was always a goddess in his eyes but the actual title did suit her better than anyone else. - Did you have fun escaping your responsibilities?

    - Would have been funner if you didn’t cheat, Bucky. - she raised her eyebrows at the man and crossed her arms, knowing fully well he had. How else would he know his way through the newly found Groves if he barely entered them. Sighing, she kissed his lips lightly and then grabbed his hand to take him to the nearest shade. - I’m sure Hecate sent you after me. 

     - Yes, she says you’re being quite impossible but personally, I was hoping we could have some personal fun. - he smirked, pressing a kiss to the shell of her ear, then to her neck and collarbone, making her shiver and push him to the side lightly. - Such a harsh no. 

     - I don’t need my nymphs to see that. - she blushed and fidgeted with her hands and wedding ring, sitting down and resting her back against the bark of a tree. The God of the Underworld chuckled and sat beside her, wrapping an arm around her waist. - But I can be swayed if you cancel the whole ordeal.

     - You know I can’t. - he kissed her shoulder. - They’re already very upset over your decision of giving the souls of the Elysium their memories. 

     - They are much more happy and you can’t deny it. - she pointed out. Y/N had technically been a ruling consort ever since she got wedded to Bucky in a very small ceremony where no one but them were included. As such, Y/N had put forward a motion to give the Elysium’s residents their mortal memories back, something that of course had been passed as she was fiercely backed by Demeter who could put the fear in any god by just looking at them. It had made the residents much happier and Bucky much happier considering he could now speak to his friends, family, and most importantly Steve. She on the other hand had managed to reunite with her parents and introduce them to Bucky which managed to be their version of normality. This had however created a stir with Zeus who was still very much upset a mortal was now a goddess he could no longer order around. - This is ridiculous, why do they need to see it?

     - It’ll just be for a few hours. Besides, I wanna see you become my Queen. 

     - Okay. - she shrugged. - Only because I love you.

     - I know. - he smiled, lovingly. - I just hope you don’t change your mind, we’re sort of in this forever. 

     - What does Steve say? Til the end of the line?

    - Til the end of the line, sunflower. 

THE END

tag list: @philogrobizedvee​​​​​​  @keithseabrook27​​​​​ @inlovewith3​​​​19 @nwbstan​ @romanoffs-heart

[alolowrites]

Get on the Floor

Summary: Todoroki invites you to his successful nightclub. Meanwhile, you invite the dashing man to join you on the dance floor after catching his eye. 

Author’s note: I recommend listening to Michael Jackson’s “Get on the Floor” for the full effect.

~~~

Disco music blared throughout the packed nightclub as lights flashed across the energetic crowd going wild on the dance floor.

Todoroki took one sip from his whiskey, the beverage leaving a rather sharp taste against his throat. His heterochromia eyes quietly scanned at the scene below him and he fished for his phone hiding inside his pocket.

‘11:35pm’ read the time and Todoroki shoved it back inside his white pants. Midoriya and the others said they would be here soon, but that was ten minutes ago. Todoroki signaled the waitress to bring him another glass of whiskey and she obediently fetched for one. After all, the young man was the nightclub’s owner.

The twenty-six year old business man opened this club after convincing his father, Enji, that such investment would be promising for the Todoroki Enterprise. It took many proposal meetings which laid out the nightclub’s financial backbone and, most importantly, the potential profit it could make after two years.

Fast forward two years and here he was—proudly relishing his project’s success through the delightful screams of the crowd. Todoroki tries to frequently visit his club to make sure everything was running smoothly. Of course, he whole heartily trusted his staff to supervise in absence; after all, he did hire them after they successfully passed his thorough vetting process. But to be physically present and seeing the club running himself made Todoroki feel calmer.

“Sir, your guests are here,” a bodyguard informed the stoic man and Todoroki blinked. The young man nodded, allowing the bodyguard to relay the message. The burly guard gestured his coworker to lift the red rope nestled at the bottom of the staircase. Gray and blue eyes mindlessly glanced below, but took a double take when he spotted you.

Midoriya did say Uraraka was going to bring along her roommate and Todoroki had no problem with this. He didn’t think much when he told his assistant to add your name on the list, but seeing you now…

Todoroki physically gulped.

As you ascended the stairs, he observed how your delicate fingers grasped the rails to steady yourself on those fierce heels. The dress, a bold and passionate dark cherry hue, accentuated your lovely figure. But it was those eyes—those enticing eyes of yours that captivated him oh so much and it shook his very core.

“Todoroki!” Midoriya cheered at his long-time friend, giving him a quick side hug. Uraraka wrapped both her arms around the half-and-half man before Iida waved a curt hello at him. Finally Todoroki’s eyes fell upon you and you shyly smiled at him.

Uraraka giggled. “Oh Todoroki, this is my wonderful friend and roommate!”

The bubbly brown-haired woman shared your name to the club’s owner and you immediately offered your hand for a polite shake.

“Nice to finally meet you,” you loudly stated over the music with the man’s hand easily engulfing yours. His hand was warm and firm and you squirmed under his intense gaze. You’ve seen a few pictures of him online and from Uraraka herself. He was extremely handsome in those photos, each one carrying a sense of confidence that made your knees weak. So when Uraraka invited you to his nightclub while casually saying he was going to be there…

You. Freaked. Out.

During the Uber ride to the club, you mentally prepared yourself by saying everything was going to go fine. Just say hello, be polite, try not to faint at the sight of him, and maybe dance to a few songs while you’re at it.

Oh how stupid you were for setting those expectations so high. You already failed the moment you spotted him standing near the balcony, sipping on his alcoholic beverage.

“It’s a pleasure to have you here,” Todoroki smoothly replied. Extending his arm out to the empty couch seats, you sat down next to Uraraka and Iida. “Please order anything you like, it’s on the house.”

You ordered a simple Vodka Cranberry to start out safe.

As the night went on, that one glass of Vodka Cranberry transformed into two before finally sipping on a Death in the Afternoon cocktail. Being dead in the afternoon was how you were going to feel the next day if you didn’t stop—but logic was thrown out the window the moment the bodyguard lifted the red velvet rope to Todoroki’s throne.

Your shoulders loosen and your head bobbed to the song’s beat. Todoroki mentioned he decided to host a 70’s disco night and what a smart idea that was; the line to get into his majestic party palace circled around the block. You felt so smug skipping all those people who threw daggers at you.

‘Oh, well,’ you thought as you finished your cocktail. The DJ transitioned from one song to the next and your head snapped up. Giddily patting your friend’s arm, you beamed: “Hey, Uraraka, let’s go dance!”

Todoroki eyed the two women rushing down to the dance floor and he shifted his body accordingly. You pushed your way through the crowd until you were satisfied with where you were. Unintentionally, you placed yourself under the man’s direct eyesight and he intensely watched how your hips sensually swayed to the music.

You snapped your fingers to the beat. You flung your arms high into the air. And you shimmied your shoulders with Uraraka. Grabbing your friend’s hand, you twirled and threw your head back while a loud laugh escaped your lips.

Todoroki’s tongue instinctively licked his own as his fingers curled tightly around his glass.

He was hot and it was not because of his quirk.

Drowning the rest of his whiskey, he harshly slammed his drink on the table and ignored the burning sensation tingling down his throat. Two fingers swiftly unfastened the first three buttons on his silky, navy blue dress shirt before he stood up from his seat.

“Hey, you okay?” Midoriya raised a concerned eyebrow at his friend.

“Yes,” he growled, marching to the stairs. “I’m going to dance.”

Like a predator hunting its prey, Todoroki shoved his way through the sweaty crowd. The alcohol clouded his vision and the music masked his rapid heart beat as he searched for you. Emerging from the tall grass, he spotted your entrancing figure; Uraraka spun you around and you laughed until your eyes landed on his.

You sucked in your breath and momentarily stopped dancing.

However, the liquor swimming in your system brought a new kind of courage you never felt before. Wanting to see how this played out, you flashed Todoroki a flirty smile and beckoned him to come closer with your finger. Without hesitation, the red and white haired man stalked forward as you rhythmically moved your arms all while welcoming him into your space.

He didn’t touch you at first, choosing to keep a slight gap between the both of you.  

You swung your hips left and the man went right. You stepped to the right while he swaggered to the left. The trumpets blew through the speakers as you leaned closer to him. Your hands slid underneath his white suit, dragging your sharp nails on his blue shirt and Todoroki muffled down a moan.

You were torturing him.

The bass picked up and you spun around, your hair tickling Todoroki’s semi-exposed chest. Both of you gyrated against each other, the pace increasing as the song echoed in the background. One of your arms draped around Todoroki’s neck while the other happily guided the man’s hungry hand towards your waist.

His fingers possessively gripped the fabric of your dress and it took all of his willpower not to burn it off from you. He was breathing heavily against your skin. You bit your lips, closing your eyes to selfishly bask yourself in this heated moment. The heavy pants, the hands shamelessly roaming around each other, the adrenaline coursing between your aroused bodies was unbelievable. As your ears listened to the song’s quick whispers, you whipped around and grabbed Todoroki’s shoulders all while boldly piercing into his gaze.  

“Get on the floor,” you proudly sang, mimicking Michael Jackson’s high-pitch laugh. “And dance with me.”

Running your fingers into his hair, you belted out, “I love the way you shake that thing, boy, especially…”

You snatched his hand and boogied your heart out until the song faded away, leaving you both out of breath. As the next song pumped through the speakers, Todoroki yanked you into his chest and whispered, “I’m glad you came tonight.”

“And I’m glad you listened to Michael Jackson’s advice, Icy Hot,” you smirked at him, feeling a chuckle rumble through his chest.

Neither of you left each other side, opting to dance the night away instead.

~~~

Gotta love that liquid courage, hahaha!

Thank you again for reading this story!

[capricornus-rex]

Stronger Than Blood (2)

Chapter 2: Meet the Mechanic | Cal Kestis x Reader

Requested by Anon

Summary: Meeting another Force-sensitive was one thing, but having them related to one of the most formidable known duelers was a whole other story to tell. While being stranded in another planet after barely escaping the Haxion Brood, Cal crosses paths with someone who’s at a crossroads with their own identity and lineage.

Also posted in AO3

Tags: Force-User! Reader, Force-Sensitive Reader, Sith-Related! Reader

Previous: Part 1 | Next: Part 3 | Masterlist

2 of ?

The cityscape reminded him so much of Bracca and Coruscant altogether.

Tier upon tier of annexes and alleyways along buildings, big and small, framed the city. Humans and other races diversified the bustling city life. Cal was already beginning to get nauseous for flicking his eyes left and right in search of a parts shop—as well as watching out for Imperial patrols.

“I just hope the Imps doesn’t find out soon that we’re here,”

“Bee… Trill?”

“Yeah, buddy, of course we’re gonna find help. Don’t you worry,” additionally, Cal patted the little droid’s head as he walked.

Not long after his consolation to the droid, a modest parts shop caught the eye of the young redhead. The sign only read “Tundu’s Mech” presuming that it was the name of the owner. Either way, he followed his instincts, trusting that from the looks of the building’s façade, it was highly likely a mechanical parts shop. Hopefully, they’ll have the merchandise the Mantis needs.

The door of the shop was merely twin swinging doors that flopped even when the person has gotten through, the hinges were squeaky enough to produce a sound—signalling the entry of a customer—until it mellowed. An Iktochi appeared from the other side of the room, obscured by a wall of small parts in a closed display case, nonchalantly greeting the boy. The blood-orange creature didn’t face Cal until he waddled towards the counter, in a sort of formality.

“Welcome, friend!” he repeated. “See anything you need here? I assure you I have quality wares as much as the next stall in the block!”

Cal didn’t waste time with the niceties. He started off by telling the parts that the Mantis needs as well as an extra set of hands to help out. Without needing to be prompted, BD-1 flashed a holograph of the entire Mantis’s cross-section, highlighting the damaged parts red.

The Iktochi shopkeeper ran his clawed finger across his chin as he took a gander of the hologram. He wagged his finger.

“Aaaah-ha,” he groaned. “I think we may have something. Hold a minute.”

The owner suddenly shifted to speaking in his native Iktochese, fixating his head in the direction of the other side of his shop. Shortly after, you popped out of the room where he had his eyes on, and then you joined him by the counter. Tundu continued using his dialect on you, it was stern and hissy, you replied in full Iktochese in the same bickering-like manner.

You took notice just now of the ginger boy with a tiny droid riding his shoulder. Your eyes met for the briefest moment and then the Iktochi transitioned into speaking Galactic Basic.

“You’re in the workshop again, child! You’re staying there for way too long and less on watching the store!” Tundu scolded.

“It’s lean hours already, Tundu, I doubt someone will come here,” you argued.

“Well, there is one now, [y/n],”

Tundu gestured to Cal. His presence in the store finally sank into you.

“Hey,” you casually greeted. “What do you need?”

Cal stuttered and fumbled over his person, by habit he searched his pockets hoping to find a compact projector there and forgetting for a moment that BD-1 had that covered. The little droid sensed the redhead’s anxiety and did him a solid of flashing the holograph again.

“Oh, thanks,” he quickly told BD and then turned to the blue projection of the ship. “Yeah, we need these parts—hopefully you have something that fits into a luxury cruiser.”

“An S-161 luxury yacht,” you uttered, an expression of interest plastered all over your face. “Impressive. Not many models like this nowadays. It’s beautiful.”

Cal’s eyes trailed to you, an involuntary smile curled at the corner of his mouth as he studied your inquisitive expression, peering and squinting your eyes closer to the projection to get a better look. He sensed something unique about you ever since you walked in on him and the store owner. It was only a feeling and he didn’t fully trust it yet.

You clicked your tongue, and then hovered your pointer finger about the broken tendon of the landing gear, “I think I can find you a fresh replacement for this one. The others—the bigger parts—are gonna need some inventory checking.”

“You made inventory last month, no?” Tundu jabbed.

“Wouldn’t hurt to visit the storage room,” you shrugged.

“Good, good,” a tired sigh was released from the Iktochi’s lungs. “Sorry, your name? Cal, was it? I shall leave you to my little protégé. My apologies. Bad back, you know.”

Without needing a response from the boy, the Iktochi immediately retreated to his private room in the shop. Now, it’s just you and the boy with a little droid.

“Sorry, he often forgets that he works up his lungs whenever he scolds me,”

“He does seem to trust you well enough though,”

You scoffed, “Guess you could say that.”

A pause. Cal looked around the store while you continued to gather and then re-sort the scattered merchandise on the counter display.

“So, uh, don’t wanna rush you the same way your boss does but when are you gonna do that inventory check?” Cal struggled to sound as politely as he can, without sounding like he’s telling you how to do your job.

You dismissed it as you continued reorganizing the items, “Oh sure, this’ll be done in a sec.”

You told him to wait in that little area that could be the lobby, you gestured to a crate and offered him a seat, followed by an apologize for not having the best interior design in Nalima. You excused yourself to the stockroom, the sound of the metal clanging together was enough an evidence for Cal to know you’re trying your best to help.

You come out of the room with two parts on each hand. You raised the right hand first.

“Okay, this is the landing gear ligament that I told you,” you switched to the left hand. “This is a replacement suspension coil. I didn’t see your ship land but I think it’s safe to assume that you’ve worked up your cruiser there. It’ll be dangerous to work with a brittle suspension.”

You were taken aback when Cal started marching towards you, under the impression that he was about to take the parts off of your hands, you retracted them farther from him and then shot him a quizzical look straight in the eye.

“Don’t worry, I was just gonna take a look,” he said so in a gentle, reassuring tone.

Not only did his voice make you certain enough that he’s trustworthy, it was the feeling he gave off ever since he stepped in the store. Back in the workshop, you had already sensed his presence, but shrugged it off as a fluke—that is until Tundu called for you to the counter and met him.

You were slightly hesitant to hand him over the parts, when he stood close enough, a metal shine caught your eye—you followed it and found a very familiar trinket hanging on the hook of his belt.

Jedi…? Here?

All of a sudden, your mind was in a rush. The memories immediately flooded over you, clouding you of your senses. The hesitation tripled, but you were too late to reaction when you felt his fingertips make contact with your palm as he takes away the parts from your hands with care.

“Are you okay? You kinda froze there for a moment, [y/n],”

“You’re a Jedi, aren’t you?” the delivery of that question was calmer than you expected it to be.

Your eyes met again. Cal had a startled look in his face, while your expression mirrored the same frozen state you had mere seconds ago.

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna turn you in,” you assured him, but uttered it within his earshot. You take a deep breath and shifted back to the real topic at hand, turning your voice back to its normal volume. “Oh, and your busted hyperdrive compressor? That’s a bit tricky.”

“Why? Why’s it tricky?”

“Well, for one: it’s hard to come by those things,” your shrugged your shoulders. “I don’t know why people keep breaking their compressors every now and then.”

“And I suppose you know where to find one?”

An amused chuckle rumbled in your throat, “Take a wild guess, pretty boy.”

Cal replied with his trademark smug, putting himself at par with your snark. For whatever odd reason that he couldn’t point his finger on, the vibe that you exuded intrigued him the longer he interacts with you. It’s almost as if the Force was telling him—rather, nudging him about something.

“Tomorrow. Come by here tomorrow and I’ll take you to the inner district,”

“Why not now?”

That amused smile that adorned your face melted in an instant when the answer came into mind.

“Imperial patrols, they’re stricter—and more suspicious of you—when going through the inner district. Especially at this hour. You arrived here just a tad borderline of the wee hours,”

“No surprise there,” said Cal agreeably.

Two of you have settled the agreement for tomorrow’s excursion. You instructed him to meet you at the store in the morning—when the patrols aren’t so strict. It almost felt like a shame for you to tell him that it’s closing hours now, but he flashed a friendly smile at you as he slowly walked away.

As soon as Cal left the store, the feeling was still there and couldn’t make of it—at least not yet.

“Bee, chirp?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, BD. There’s just… something that about that [y/n],” Cal confided to the tiny companion on his shoulder. “It’s strange, but… I know it means well.”

He dismissed the thought as he made his way back to the Mantis, he eventually spotted the Imperial patrols that you were talking about—white duraplast armor sticking out of the dark, neutral colors of the city like a sore thumb—and evaded them. The whole ordeal reminded him greatly of how he strode Bracca’s streets day and night, in and out of work, just to avoid these Stormtroopers.

Cal got back to the Mantis, unfollowed and unscathed, and bore the good news to the crew in the middle of dinner.

“Just how much trust can you put in a person?” Greez asked, his tone delivered the question somewhat sarcastically, but he was gravely serious.

“Well, I don’t know if I can justify my reason but… there’s just something about her that I can’t explain,”

“You know the word for that is called ‘crush,’ right, kid?”

The young Jedi’s cheeks burned nearly as red as his hair. He averted his face from his crew, hanging his head low while he fiddled away the food on his plate.

“You don’t mean that she’s…”

“Force-sensitive?” Cal shrugged as he drives the prong of his fork into the Scazz steak and brings it into his mouth. “Could be or could not.”

Cere expressed on the crew’s behalf that she trusts Cal’s judgment.

“So far, you haven’t befriended anyone who’s tried to kill us,” Cere blurted, somehow solidifying her confidence in the boy.

“Right?”

The crew continued on with their meal. The quarters weren’t a suitable place for Cal to sleep in yet, so he slept in the couch of the lounge instead—and made himself comfortable there. In the midst of the dead silence of the ship, he had more time to think… of you.

He doesn’t know if you were aware of it, but the moment his fingertips brushed against the skin of your palm, he felt a jolt course into his body. Given that his connection with the Force is still healing, even a Padawan could still spot the signs, however, this was only a hunch that has yet to be proven.

Cal slept with the hope that the Force could tell him more.

[bananiell]

rapper hc part 1

hi guys!!! so i’ve had this idea in my head forever and just didn’t have anyone to share it with but i told hedy about it yesterday and she scammed me into creating tumblr acc and sharing it here lol but when i went to write it down i  realized that i have a lot more to share so it’s gonna be just the 1st part for now, which was the only thing i had in my mind originally but now i’m working on expanding it.

i have a lot of ideas from the songs and this is no exception. this time the inspiration was NF - an amazing rapper and song writer. his songs uncover so much trauma and the things he raps and sings about are so real for a lot of us that you can’t help relating to them. NF’s real name is Nathan which also played part in this idea. lyrics of the songs are what the hc is based on so please listen to the songs i mention and pay attention to the lyrics.

ok i don’t wanna waste more of your time bc the hc is big as it is so without further ado let’s dive into it. p.s. it’s the first time i do a thing like that so im sorry in advance for any inconsistencies or the general drama:)))

TW!! (everything is just mentioned, nothing too graphic) physical abuse, verbal/emotional abuse, alcohol, drinking, drug addiction, overdose, death from overdose, kidnapping, torture (beating, skin burning, cuts – all of it not descriptive), violence, breaking one’s own bones, putting bastards to prison. also NF’s lyrics got a lot of triggers and cover very serious issues so if you decide to listen to some more of his music be careful with that. some of the things mentioned in the songs i’ve used here: depression, grave digging, guns, blood (in a non-violent way).

neil’s story: he grew up in an abusive family. his father was drinking a lot and abused him physically and verbally saying that he was nothing and nobody and would not amount to anything in his life. he despised neil’s love for music and laughed at him. he also hit him more when he noticed anything related to neil’s passion (neil humming some melody or listening to music in his headphones or trying to create smth). his mother tried to protect him but she couldn’t do much bc of her drug addiction. she overdosed during his last year in hs and surprisingly left him some money. when Nathan found out about that he was enraged and beat the shit out of neil so he would give him that money. to run away from his father neil goes to university to study his passion – music. he’s always had some kind of knack for creating music and rapping and now he could explore it more and not be afraid of nathan. he tries to overcome his trauma and even makes some friends (the foxes).

during the freshman year andrew and neil spend a lot of time together. they find the reflections of their hurt in each other and they find understanding. they share some of their past and their traumas; their view of the world and their dreams. andrew feels like he is falling because he’s never met anyone like neil. slowly there are soft touches and furtive glances but neither is ready yet to cross that line.

neil seemingly gets better even though there are a lot of hard moments on the way. however at the end of his freshman year nathan finds him and he and his cronies kidnap and beat neil up for Mary’s money keeping him in the basement for several days. this money is all neil’s got to survive and build his life so he doesn’t say anything and thinks of the ways to run. im not good with making up torture techniques and nathan is not so imaginative here but they still leave neil with scars on his face, his torso and hands (mostly burns from cigarettes, iron, cuts from glass bottles). by the end of the third day neil is physically and morally exhausted so he gives up and transfers all the money to them (he’s got a little of it left on his other acc) and they drunk on their win leave him in the basement. he breaks his fingers to get out of the handcuffs and gets out through the small basement window and runs outside. not long after that he collapses from all the exhaustion and blood loss and someone notices him. they call the cops and the ambulance. after that nathan and his cronies are put into prison and neil is left with almost no money. he leaves the state and a year later with a lot of effort, practicing and self-advertising he successfully signs with a music label under the name N/A.

andrew’s story: tilda didn’t give him up but was a shitty mother (obv) with drug addiction. andrew and aaron’s parents were divorced and their father didn’t live with them but tried to be there when he could. andrew started creating music as an outlet bc tilda’s boyfriends were physically abusing him and he tried to protect aaron from that. he and aaron were close bc they only had each other but andrew still didn’t share his trauma with aaron trying to protect him from that hell. of course he was only a child and couldn’t always take aaron’s place in beating but most of it lay on him. while at hs they became a band with the help of nicky and performed with their songs were they could and tried to self-advertise and wymack (he’s the head of the music dep at uni and also one of the profs) noticed them and offered them partial scholarships. they had some money left after tilda’s overdose (they lived for some time with their father after her death) so they went to get actual education on music production (at this point I don’t care how plausible it sounds, just don’t think too much about it ok lol)

the story:

ok so nathaniel once went to uni with the foxes (is there such a major as music production and singing or smth?) but at the end of his freshman year he disappeared. he was not very sociable so no one really cared where’d he go except for the foxes with whom he became somewhat friends. 1-2 years later he pops up as a new young and very talented rapper named N/A and he’s got burn scars all over his face and hands which he doesn’t hide so very intriguing right??? nobody knows much about him and that his name stands for Neil Abram so they take it literally as ‘no data available’ or smth (hedy also proposed “not applicable”!). foxes are like WTF we know that guy!! and wymack is also like isn’t that nathaniel??

Andrew’s become a huge fan of neil’s music. only renee knows that andrew’s been listening to neil’s songs non stop bc he can relate so hard to them and they just hit him right where it hurts. at the end of their last year they have like a huge final concert or smth and wymack organizes it to be held in one of the palmetto clubs. at the same time neil is coming back to Palmetto bc he is nostalgic of the time he spent in the uni with the foxes and he wants to escape his real life for a moment. he wants to visit the city and reminisce and he believes that none of the foxes really remembers him bc he was a nobody. I know the plot is getting ridiculous but bear with me

so it’s the evening of the gig and the students perform their music (songs, instrumentals, as solos/duets/bands etc). andrew majorly produces rap songs at this point and he performs in duet with renee with their song (NF’s “Can you hold me”). everyone is like shit it was so good but then andrew performs his solo song (NF’s “How could you leave us”). aaron is standing there and is a fucking mess bc he never knew andrew was that affected by their past and their mother’s death bc he never showed it and didn’t ever want to talk about his issues. (be warned this is a heart-wrenching song and it fits fucking perfectly). after that andrew almost runs outside for a smoke, trying to light a cigarette with his shaking fingers and thats when he sees a strange all covered up figure in a black hoodie entering the club but also cautiously looking over their shoulder like they don’t want to be caught. andrew ever the protective one follows him but loses in the crowd of the low lit club. 10 mins later there is quiet and the figure goes on stage – obv its neil. “Intro III” starts playing.

andrew is in awe and he’s never heard this song before so it must be new. he also never saw neil perform live so he cant really move bc the performance is so powerful and magnetic. *neils sitting on one of the disconnected amplifiers in the dark and the music starts building up. At 2:00 of the song after the words “I mean, what are you, outta your mind? 'Cause both of us will be, come on, let's go outside!” he pulls off his hood, his movements are fierce and aggressive and he’s almost screaming in the mic. at words “You had me scared for a second, I thought we were diggin' my grave” theres his fathers smile, vicious, crazy and cruel – thats how he remembered it spending 3 days in that basement. (fyi in the song NF’s talking to his fear and they go back and forth).* 

andrew is mesmerized, the foxes are in shock, the whole crowd does not understand who that is but they watch with open mouths. the song ends and the crowd goes wild. that’s when neil starts talking.

“hello palmetto. this is a great concert you got and some of you guys are fucking talented. my name is neil and I used to go to PSU a long time ago so you prolly don’t know me but professor wymack out there let me come here on this stage and sing a couple of my songs for you. one of them is my old song, and another is new but they both tell my story and I hope you like’em”. 

people cheer and applaud and after a moment another song starts playing. its the one andrew knows (it’s Paralyzed). the atmosphere gets way calmer but everyone is just as hypnotized. during the chorus neil is standing under the dim lights, head turned up facing the ceiling, eyes closed, his scars are illuminated. he looks almost peaceful but there’s pain and apathy showing on his face and in his posture. the song ends and neil leaves the stage. andrew cant make his legs move but he has to meet neil (he just realized that neil’s shared his name with them and it wasn’t “nathaniel” and andrew’s got so many questions).

he forces himself to move and almost runs backstage. neil is already leaving but andrew stops him by grabbing him by his arm. they stand there looking at each other, andrew panting, his body shaking a little, neil wide-eyed.

“Andrew…” he whispers obviously surprised by seeing Andrew here.

“Nath- Neil.” suddenly Andrew cant ask a single question. he’s got so many that it feels like a waste of time to ask them one by one. Neil looks down at where Andrew is still grabbing his arm and Andrew lets go off him like its burnt him. “You are here” he lets out on the exhale like he still can’t believe it.

Neil averts his eyes and puts the hood of his sweater on his head so that the shadows obscure half of his face. “Yeah” he replies and after a few seconds follows with hesitant “How are you?” It is a stupid question, Andrew thinks but he answers nonetheless with simple fine. Neil holds his head low, and Andrew can’t help but wonder if Neil doesn’t wanna look him in the eyes after his disappearance so many years ago or if he simply doesn’t want to see Andrew’s face. Both options hurt him but he doesn’t have the heart to ask.

the end of part 1. come yell at me on twt or here hihi

[korkisobsessions]

The Oath

XIV. Hyung (part 1)

“Hyung, please...” His little brother whimpers.

“I will be back sooner than you think.” He lied. He lied badly. He will probably never come back.

“We can run away and hide in the mountains...”

“You really want to be a brother of a coward, who runs away?” 

his brother whimpers again and shook his head.

“Hold still.” He made knot on his bandage and examined his work. His brother needs new and clean bandages, but Yeong shin had no time to get them. Soldier who came to get him to army was standing just behind the fence, just like Byung Chul was, several years ago.

“You just came back.” tears were soaking to dirty bandages covering his face. Hiding ugly wound where his nose used to be. Leper was agonising whole Sumang village. There were just few lucky ones, who stay healthy. They were taking care of others and burying the unlucky ones.

“I will be back, I swear.”

He made his way outside, his heart tearing apart. This was thousand times worse than the first time he left. Today he had dreadful feeling that he will never see his brother again. He will die in the war and his little brother will be alone in this world. But his brother was running after him making it difficult to leave.

He turned back to him, kneeling before him and hugging him for the last time.

“Hyung, please don’t leave me.” He cried desperately. “Please don’t leave me. Can you please stay?”

Yeong shin was trying not to cry. To have hope. But it was hard. His throat was tight when he spoke.

“Go back inside. I will be back, I promise.” At least, I will do my best to come back.

“Hyung!” desperate cry was tearing his soul and heart apart when he made his way out of his village.

Soldier just nod and walked by his side. He was probably glad that Yeong shin wasn’t resisting.

“Please do not go!”

~°~

“I really wish I can say I’m glad to see you kid, but not in this shit hole.”

“Master!” he bow to Byung Chul, but was surprised when his master pulled him to his arms and patted his back.

Yeongshin looked around and tried to hold back nervous twitch. They were in camp in the middle mass of people. He wasn’t used to it. His home was woods with just his master by his side or little village and his brother.

“Lot of people, you think?” Byung Chul tossed him his flask with alcohol and he sips it. Today he needs to calm his nerves too. “Still I’m afraid it’s not enough.”

He raised his eyebrows with disbelief. He never saw this many men in his life. There can be five hundred soldiers.

“It’s time to go kid. We were sent to spy on our enemy. Group of or brothers went from south and we are going from east. Lord Ahn wants report as soon as possible.”

“It doesn’t even start jet and I wish it’s over already.” He held tight grip on his rifle. After years of being chakho, gun became his other hand. He found himself calmer when his hands held smooth wood and heavy iron, his thumb tracing familiar shape.

Yeongshin always thought about himself like patient man. He could sit in one place for hours and wait for his prey. He could stand in pouring rain just to get the right information. He could track wounded animal for miles to end its misery.

And he spend years with Byung Chul and stayed alive and sane.

But today he found himself patting nervous rhythm with his fingers. They were in territory of the enemy and he didn’t saw Byung Chul for hours.

“Wait here and watch my back.” That was all, his master said, before he disappeared in undergrowth.

Yeong shin almost started counting minutes, when he heard rustling of twigs and leaves.

“I almost thought that you got lost...” he laughed, but his lips froze when he saw that it wasn’t his master who walked out of the bush.

It was man almost same height in Japanese armour. He looked surprised as Yeong shin was. It was obvious, he wasn’t ready to battle. He was probably looking for place to piss. He could be just a bit younger than Yeong shin, his armour looks bigger than he really was.

There was a spark in Yeong shin’s mind. Spark of mercy. Just for a blink of an eye he wanted to lift his hands and beg him to not to scream.

But he remember, long time ago. Chakho brothers beat him almost to unconsciousness, because he let go tiger’s cubs. If he let them go, they will grow up and kill someone.

If he let that man go, he will alarm the enemy and Yeong shin will die. Byung Chul will die. They will probably find other chakho spies and kill them too.

He cannot let that man make a sound.

He grabs his knife from his sleeve. Man opened his mouth, but made just silent gurgle sound, when Yeong shin’s knife pierced his throat.

Just a second later second knife flew from undergrowth and stuck in his forehead. Byung Chul came back with hard face sooner than soldier’s body hits the ground.

“You were slow.” He said dryly without his usual teasing tone.

Yeong shin didn’t say anything. Just pulled their knifes from, man and masked the body as best as he could.

He wanted to ask his master, what he found, but when he saw Byung-Chul’s face, he changed his mind. His master looked suddenly older than he was and his face was pale. He lost his sarcastic grin he always had.

“Let’s go kid.” He took his knife from Yeongshin’s hand and left.

Yeong shin followed him, until he realised that they changed his way. They weren’t heading back to Sangju.

“Master...?”He stopped and looked around. Byung Chul stopped too but wasn’t facing him. “Sangju is that way...”

Yeong shin watched him open his bag and took out heavy pouch.

“You are not coming back with me Yeong shin.”

He didn’t know, what scared him more. That empty tone of his master’s voice, or that he used his name, instead his usual ‘kid’ or the idea of not coming back to Sangju.

“What do you talking about master?”  He whispered with tight voice.

Byung Chul pressed his pouch with coins to his palm and squeezes his shoulder.

“Sangju doesn’t stand a chance. There is too much of them.”

Yeong shin felt like someone kicked air out of his lungs. He blinked few times, until he realised, what is Byung Chul doing.

“I’m not leaving.” he breathes tightly, trying not to panic.

“Yes you are, you fool!” Byung Chul bark. And for the first time was Yeong shin truly afraid of him. “You will take this money and run as far as you can!”

“No...” he shook his head, but his master held his shoulders.

“We cannot win this war. Ahn Hyun is great leader, but this is madness.”

“I can’t...” he was still trying to refused. But just little piece of him wanted to grab the money and run. But it was very small part of his soul that was quickly suffocated. What he would be, if he runs away? Just a coward. Someone who left his village, his family. Someone who left weak innocent boy to die by hands of enemy.

“Yeong shin...” Byung Chul’s voice was suddenly full of emotions and calm. “You are like my son. I just can’t let you die for nothing.”

He felt empty and almost apathetic when his master held him in tight embrace. But his heart aches.

“My brother is there. I must protect him, no matter what it takes.” he found courage and straightened his head. “I’m his only family”

Byung Chul shook with his shoulder with desperation. “You want to die for already dead boy.”

It was like a stab wound right into his heart. “Don’t say that!” he growl like a wild animal. “He will be all right!”

“When?” Byung Chul raised his voice. “When the rest of his face fall apart?”

“Don’t...” Yeongshin felt his chest raising and falling with fast and shallow breath. Red curtain clouded his vision and cold sweat was running down his spine.

“It’s leper you fool. What do you think? That king will send his best healers to that shithole? That your brother will magically heal? No!”

“Shut up!” he screamed and made two steps towards his master, his fists tightly clenched. He didn’t want to punch him, but he was losing his sanity.

“Your brother is like Sangju. Lost case.”

“He’s not!”

“Death in battle will be better than wait until his body will be rotten enough to kill him...”

He didn’t even know he punched him. He just suddenly felt sharp pain in his knuckles. It probably shocked him more than Byung Chul. His master was holding his mouth and between his fingers was running tiny rivulets of blood.

“I’m heading back to Sangju. Don’t try to stop me again.”

“You are stubborn bastard, kid.” He mumbled with sadness in his eyes.

“I will not die! You said it yourself. We are living against all odds.”

Yeong shin head to Sangju with his master following his footsteps. Now it was young chakho who leads the way.

They walk much faster, avoiding conversation. Yeong shins blood was still boiling. He felt somehow betrayed. How could Byung Chul thought that he will accept the money and run away. Did he really think he is coward?

He found himself stopping with clenched fists and tightly clenched jaw. Byung Chul stopped too and spit on the ground remains of blood from his busted lip.

“How many?” Yeong shin spoke, not looking at his master.

“What?” Byung Chul barked.

“How many Japanese soldiers, you saw?” he was losing patience. He knew that his master know what he was asking.

“You don’t want to know, kid.”

“TELL ME!” angry shout escape his throat like a thunder. He never fights with Byung Chul, and never yells. He always felt strong authority towards older man who teaches him everything. But today he felt heartbroken.

Older chakho stood there like a statue. There was long silence between them, before he took deep breath.

“It was around thirty thousand men.”

Yeong shin loose balance and stumbled backwards, catching thick branch to not fall completely. For a while he thought he will lose consciousness.

There were barely five hundred men to protect Sangju. To protect Sumang and his brother.

“That cannot be...”he stuttered, feeling his hands shaking.

“You still have a chance...”

“How could you think that I will leave?” He shouts at Byung Chul. “You have so low opinion...”

“No, I have not.” Byung Chul shook his head and lean on his long walking stick. “I knew you will refuse it.”

“Then why you insisted that I should leave?”

“Because I must at least try to save you.” He bows his head with silver short hair and released long breath. “I tried, so I can die with piece of mind.”

~o~

“My lord, spies are back...some of them” Deok Sung bow his head when he walked into commander’s tent.

Lord Ahn Hyun lifted his eyes from the map and let out tired sigh. He already knew that the news will be bad. He felt it deep in his bones.

“Let them in.”

“It’s two chakhos my lord.” Deok Sung spoke nervously. He didn’t want to insult his lord with inappropriate presence of those men.

“There are just us, or enemy. If they are on our side, we are equal. Let them in.” His eyes were tired from long studying of maps and counting men power.

Deok Sung returned with two men in blue canvas shirts. One of them was older, with short silver hair and nasty scar over his left eye. Ahn Hyun knows that man, but said nothing. Second one was young fierce man with sharp eyes.

“My lord” they said unison

“I heard your brothers didn’t come back...” he pours two cups of water and gives it to them. Older accept it without hesitation, but younger one looked surprised and bow his head. “They are dead or run away.”

“Probably second option, my lord.”Byung Chul sighs and drinks his water. “There is too much of our enemies. I count thirty thousand men. They are very well organised and ready to conquer the city. We should warn Hanyang.”

Lord Ahn Hyun sat back behind the table and hides his face in palms.

“Byung Chul...are you sure? Can your apprentice count?” commander sounds almost desperate. He hoped that it’s mistake. But old chakho shook his head.

“I saw it with my own eyes...I mean eye.” he tried to laugh but he was the only one. “And yes, my apprentice can count. He is smart kid, my lord.”

Yeong shin bow his head and felt his ears getting warm with embarrassment.

“Why are you two come back, when all of other chakhos run away? Why you want to die for this city?” Lord Ahn Hyun pierced them with his deep wise eyes.

“Because it’s my home. ”Yeong shin spoke for the first time.

“You are from Sangju young man?”

“From Sumang, my lord.” He felt cold sweat running down his spine, it was first time he spoke to someone of such high rating.

“Sumang is now leper colony.” Deok Sung looked at him like he was searching for symptoms of the disease.

“I’m healthy. But my little brother is sick.” he raised his chin and looked into Ahn Hyun’s eyes.

“So, you have something to fight for?” something sparks in commander’s eyes. Maybe spark of hope.

“I have.”

“And I got bored, so I thought its perfect time for try not to die.” Byung Chul smiled with his weird sense of humour.

~o~

War was bad thing, nasty and cruel thing. He saw so much pain and brutal things; he thought he will never sleep again. Maybe when he will be dead and it will be probably very soon.

But he was good.

He hated how good he was. Good at killing and fighting. How good duo with Byung Chul they were.

They were tracking enemies and putting them down clean and fast. Sometimes he thought that their victims die without even noticing it. Japanese didn’t know this land. Yeong shin knew every boulder and branch and when he didn’t know, he quickly adapted.

He was good killer, but he didn’t enjoy it. He accepted it like unnecessary thing. Maybe it was what made him be chakho. Spilling blood to stay alive.

They were coming back from the hunt. Hungry and tired, with new trophies for Lord Ahn Hyun. He always gave them to Deok Sung and leave without a word. But today commander’s right hand stopped him.

“There comes message from Sumang. Your brother is doing well. Don’t worry.”

“Thank you.” He bow his head

“Do you want to send message to him?”

“No, thank you.” He looked Deok Sung in the eyes and saw something that scared him. It was like he wanted to say ‘Send message to your brother because soon we will be all dead.’ But Yeong shin can’t simply accept it. “I will tell him everything face to face when this will be over.”

“I hope you do.” Deok Sung murmured and released him. But Yeong shin turned to him once more.

“Is there any healer? My master is wounded...”

Deok Sung nod and looked around. There was few soldiers, talking and playing dice close to one of the fireplaces. “Sang Ho. Can you find master Lee Seung-hui?”

Young soldier stood up with confusion in his face. He was watching Yeong shin with distrust.

“Captain? You want master Lee to treat some chakho?”

Deok Sung had hard face. “Last time, when I was checking, you were just a soldier Sang-Ho. And soldiers follow orders.” It was hard, but that jerk deserved it.

“Yes captain.” He murmured and leaves.

Yeong shin was watching angry soldier disappeared and then turned back to captain. “It wasn’t necessary. It’s just scratch...”

“You can go. Take rest and eat something.” Deok Sung disappeared in tent and left Yeong shin in confusion.

He was missing something. He noticed it the first time that Lord Ahn Hyun knew Byung Chul. And now this exaggerated care...

He made his way back crossing paths of other soldiers.

Byung Chul sat on the cot in their tent pressing dirty rug to his bleeding arm.

There was so little of space that his head was almost touching ceiling. He had already prepared some herbs and his stinky potions he always used.

“Healer is on his way” Yeong shin spoke when he walked in. He had two cups of weak soup, that stink probably worse than Byung Chul’s medicines.

“I don’t need him. I choose to live.” He made a face when he touches his wound again.

“Don’t be like that. It’s real healer, not butcher like last time.” Younger chakho laugh bitterly with memory of his fresh scar. Japanese soldier cut his side. It was just scratch, but that man sews him with thick needle and thread and made it worse. When his master saw it, he was furious.

“That man was animal. He wasn’t good even for fixing these damn tents.” Byung gestured to hole in the roof. “One more rain and we are done.”

“Master, can I ask something?” Yeong shin sip his soup and made himself as comfortable as possible. “Who you were, before you became chakho? What is your real name?”

Byung Chul froze with bloodied rug halfway to his wound. Drops of his blood were dripping on his pants and bed.

“Why you want to know, kid?” his voice was weirdly serious.

“I’m just curious. Lord Ahn knew you, even though he saw you for the first time. And when I said you are hurt to captain, he send one of soldiers for this master Lee Seung-hui.”

Byung Chul was quiet for a while like he was thinking.

“It doesn’t matter kid. Trust me. I’m just old tiger hunter and that’s all.” He took his soup.

“But I was....”

“Leave it, kid!”

Yeong shin shut his mouth and hang his head down. He didn’t want to make his master pissed, especially when he was hurt.

“I’m sorry, master.”

Through the camp rang loud bell. Yeong shin felt cold shiver run down his spine.

“Attack! We are under attack!” scream and loud sound of running men fill the air.

“Fuck me!” Byung Chul spit on the ground, and grabbed his rifle. “My soup will get cold!”

[writingfromkitchenator]

Kili ~ Kiss the Girl

800 Followers Challenge!

Requested by Anon

Based on  Kiss the Girl

Words: 2,642

Warnings: Awkwardness, skin changer reader, parental interference, minor angst

The dwarves first impression of you was finding you sitting atop a pile of orc and warg bodies, taking a long drink from water skin and smiling at them in greeting.  “Ho there friends!  Glad to see I’m not the only one out enjoying the day!”

They had all stared at you, wondering what to think.

Laughing, you jumped down and approached lightly, reaching for the heavy axe that you’d left imbedded in the ground.  “I hope you weren’t hunting this particular quarry, they were being rather a nuisance to me.”

Gandalf was the one who moved first, his brow creasing in a frown.  “It is…Y/N?”

You nod.  “That is my name sir, meaning you must be a wizard, few know me and my kin after all.”

Nodding, the worry doesn’t leave Gandalf’s expression.  “What are you doing all the way out here?”

Shrugging, you heft the axe up and let it rest on your shoulder.  “Exploring, seeing what there is to see, enjoying life on the road. May I ask where your own path leads.”

“None of your business.” Dwalin growled, causing you to raise an eyebrow and shrug.

“That is fair enough, although I’m sure you’d be interested to see this.”  You pulled a note from your pocket and tossed it to Gandalf, who caught it and read it, his worry increasing as he looked back at you.

“You can read this?”

“Barely, at least enough to make sense of what it says.”  You look over the company before you, noting the dwarves, Gandalf and a hobbit. “Seems an odd coincidence that we should meet so soon after.”

“Coincidence indeed.” Gandalf said, still eyeing you with some suspicion.  “Were you waiting for us?

You shake your head. “No, simply resting, one can hardly blame me after such a fight.” You gesture back to the pile of bodies, in which several the dwarves were now quietly discussing.  “Had I met anyone on the path that matched what I read, I would’ve done the same.”

Your head tilts a little then, as if listening, and they all watched your expression darken.  “Tell me friends, would there be a reason why more orcs would be coming along the roads?  It seems to me like your path is a little more wild than most.”

“How many are there?” Gandalf asked quickly, stepping closer.

“Too many,” You look around at them and make a quick decision.  “Come, let’s get you away from this.”

The dwarves would’ve argued but Gandalf was already following you, Bilbo close behind and they quickly realised as howls filled the air that they were going to have little choice.

Along the path you came across Radaghast, who was quick to talk to both you and Gandalf, but it was all too short, ending up running, ending up in Rivendell.

At Rivendell, you offered your services to their quest.  It was met with some distrust, as expected, but it was ultimately clear that your knowledge and skills could be useful.

It was also in Rivendell that you took notice that one particular dwarf seemed to be watching you more closely than the others.

Kili thought that he’d been careful about it, but after you caught him and raised an eyebrow, he knew that he’d been foolish to think that.

“Do you have a problem with me?”  You asked him.

His face flushed slightly. “Not at all, simply trying to learn more about you.”

You smiled a little at his innocence.  “Then you could just ask me master dwarf, I don’t shy away from such things.”

This moment struck up a strange friendship between the two of you and there were a few comments made on the quiet about just what that meant.

Kili was fascinated, having never met someone like you, and you were glad that someone was treating you with kindness instead of mistrust.

Although, you still kept a secret, one you hoped that the company would never find out about, something that the goblin tunnels put to the test.

You still weren’t sure how a part of you hadn’t snapped in there, surrounded by goblins as you were, your heart racing as you fought and ran and killed as many as you could, knowing the plague that they brought across the lands wherever they decided to live. Following it with more running, more fighting against orcs and wargs and finally being rescued by eagles, it was not a good day for you.

“There is a house.”

It was about to get worse.

“Where, we might take refuge.”  Gandalf said quickly, knowing that the orcs were too close and having little doubt of who Bilbo had been talking about.

“Who’s house?”  Thorin growled.  “Are they friend or foe?”

“Neither.”  Gandalf said bluntly.  “He will help us or he will kill us.”

Gandalf shared a look with you and you caught him as they others started to run.  “You know as well as I do that I cannot go there.”

“What other choice to we have Y/N?”  He asked, hurrying after the dwarves.  “This was the path you chose, you were going to have to face the consequences sooner or later.”

Growling, you followed after them, but not feeling any better about where you were now heading.

It had taken you a long time to get away to begin with.

As the dwarves gathered outside Beorn’s door, trying to get in, Beorn charging in in his bear form, you knew that this was going to be it, this was going to be your make or break moment.

Without hesitation, you marched forward towards the oncoming bear, ignoring the call of Kili back to you, and let your own body start to shift.

The dwarves stared as bear suddenly stood before bear, sizing each other up, with roars like thunder before Beorn, looking less than impressed backed away, leaving you guarding the door.

Gandalf hurried them all inside, closing the door on you as you paced the entrance to the home.

“What was that?”  One of the dwarves finally asked.

Gandalf gives a small smile. “That was our host.  His name is Beorn, he’s a skin changer.”

A mutter of confusion went around and Gandalf shakes his head.  “Y/N is his daughter.”

There was a stunned silence before a lot of arguing, making Gandalf chuckle but sigh, noticing that only one dwarf was silent, Kili still staring at the door, his expression conveying so many emotions that it was hard to tell what he was thinking.

“There is little point in discussing it now,” Gandalf said loudly over all of them.  “For now, we are safe, that is all that matters.”

In the morning, they were awoken by an argument.

“…never have left!”

“And what was I supposed to do?  Stay here and live in fear for the rest of my life?”

“You know nothing of what is out there!”

“And nor would I have if I’d just stayed here!  I’ve learnt more in the last year than I ever could have dreamed of!”

They all awkwardly approached the door, straining to look out to see you and Beorn, back in your human forms, staring at each other, even as Beorn chops more wood.

“And if you had wound up in trouble, then what?”  He growled angrily.  “There would’ve been no one there to help you.”

You rolled your eyes. “If you were that worried father, then you could’ve come after me.  You could’ve easily tracked me down, but you didn’t.”

An awkward silence fell between the two of you, the dwarves watching on, trying to judge on what was going to be best to do.

Beorn let a low growl rumble through him.  “It still does not change the fact that you should not have left when I forbade you to.”

You let out a string of curses, throwing your hands in the air as you storm away from.

“Y/N, we are not done talking about this!”  Beorn called you back.

You ignored him, quickly disappearing out of sight.

Gandalf was the one that was left to deal with Beorn, introducing the rest of the company, all except Kili, who snuck out after you.

He found you throwing stones into a small lake, the anger still clear in your expression, not seeming to matter how hard you threw them.

Kili was nervous, but it didn’t stop him stepping closer.  “Are you alright Y/N?”

“Do I look it Kili?” You growled, picking up a particularly large rock and throwing it, forming large ripples in the water.  “I was not eager to come back here.”

“Why?”

“Why?”  You repeated.  “Because he is an overbearing, overprotective parent that is terrified I’ll meet the same fate as the rest of our people!”

Kili flinched at the snarl in your voice but doesn’t move from where he stands.  “I’m sure he means well.”

You sigh, heavily, dropping your arm as you go to throw another stone, your shoulders sinking. “I know, and that’s the worst of it. He could never see what being trapped here was doing to me.”

“Which is why you ran away?”

Nodding, you drop the rock and take a few steps back, sitting heavily on the ground.  “I didn’t have much of a choice.”

Kili joins you, looking at you worriedly.  “We always have a choice Y/N.”

You remain silent, staring at the stilling water, making Kili shift a little uncomfortably, not sure what else to say.

“I'm sorry Kili,” You said finally.  “For not telling you everything.”

Kili smiles, his hand resting on yours.  “It's okay, I get why you didn't.” He then gets a mischievous sparkle in his eye.  “We’re all bizarre, some of us are just better at hiding it that’s all.”

You give him a slightly scalding look but then the two of you are laughing, breaking the final amount of tension in the air.

The two of you rest back, barely even aware that you were holding hands now, just watching the water.

“What's it like?” Kili asked.  “Being able to turn into a bear?”

You shrugged.  “It has its moments, it's always there in the back on my mind, always a part of me, so I can't say I really know anything else.”

Kili hesitates a little but then looks at you.  “Can you show me?”

It took a short moment for Kili's question to register before you looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “Why would you want to see that Kili?”

He shrugs.  “I think it's neat.”

Laughing softly, you shake your head.  “Maybe one day, when I'm calmer, I can't always guarantee her reaction to things and the last thing I want is for it to turn out bad for you.”

“I trust you though,” Kili said quickly.  “I don't think you'd hurt me.”

The two of you stared at each other for a long moment and it was if you both suddenly realised how close you were to each other.

Kili's gaze dropped to your lips and you pulled away shyly, hugging your knees to your chest.  “I may have no desire to hurt you Kili, but it does not meant the unpredictability of my other side won't.  If I am not completely calm and comfortable, it could go very wrong.”

He nods, his cheeks a little flush, the silence following more awkward than before.

“Y/N!  Kili!” Thorin's voice called from the house.

Kili sighed and stood, offering his hand.  “Come on, before they come hunting for us.”

Smiling shyly, you take it, although you couldn't help the well of sadness that bubbled up inside you.

That night, as much as you and Beorn refused to talk to each other, you could feel his eyes moving between you and Kili as you talked.  It agitated you, but you said nothing, not wanting to cause another row in front of the company.

Little did you know, a lot of the company were starting to take notice too.  Much discussion was being had on what to do about Kili and a skin changer.

After you and Kili had walked away, Beorn was the one to break the argument.  “There is nothing you can do.”

The dwarves stared at him. “What?”

Beorn shakes his head. “If what I can see is true, there is nothing that you or I can do, the bond has already been made, whether they realise that yet or not, that is up to them.”

“How can you be so calm about this?” Thorin asked   “Given the argument you had with Y/N-"

“That argument was before I realised just what she couldn't have found should she have remained here.” Beorn gives a solemn smile.  “Like your people, mine too only have one.”

This caused a shift of uncomfortableness around the dwarves, Thorin and Fili in particular.

“Let them be,” Beorn continued with a low grumble in his voice.  “Interfering will only end in heartache.”

Thorin sighed heavily and Fili nudged him, shaking his head.  “We've got to trust Kili, Uncle, you know as well as I do that he's always had a different path.”

Beorn nods.  “So has Y/N. They will be fine.”

Outside, you sighed as you and Kili watched the stars.  “They're all talking about us, you know?”

Kili looks over at you. “Why?”

“They think we're a pair.”

He frowns a little and looks back at the stars.  “They're all too nosy.”

It was your turn to look at him, still finding him frowning.  “They're protective.”

“Over protective.”

“They don't want us to get hurt.”

“Yeah, but we're never going to grow if they don't.” You sigh heavily and roll over to face him properly, Kili doing the same.  “You can't say it doesn't annoy you?”

He nods.  “Of course it does, but they love and care of us, that's what they're meant to do.”

You stared at him for a long moment.  “That's why you made that promise, wasn't it?”

Kili smiles.  “Of course.  Some reassurance is better than none.”  He brushed some hair away from your face.  “Didn’t you want to see your father again?”

“I guess so,” You close your eyes as his hand moves to your cheek.  “I just…I guess I was scared, I didn’t know how he’d react because I’d technically run away.  I had figured that he would never allow me back.”

There is the soft press of lips against yours and your eyes snap open in surprise as Kili pulls away, red creeping to his cheeks.

“What was that for?” You asked quietly.

Kili looks away, a little sheepishly.  “I dunno, I…I’d just been thinking about it.”

Heat crept into your cheeks, smiling a little shyly.  “Oh.”

There was an awkward silence.

“Did you want to try again?”

Kili looked at you, surprised and the two of you stared at each other for a long moment.

He shuffles a little closer. “Only…only if you want to Y/N.”

You smile and gently brush his cheek.  “I wouldn’t have asked if I did.”

Moving in close to each other, there is a moments hesitation before you both moved, your noses hitting each other and causing you both the break into giggles, before moving a bit slower, trying again, the kiss shy at first before you both gained a little more confidence.

Then broke into giggles again.

“Thank you Kili.”  You said softly, letting your foreheads rest together.

“What for?”

“Being there,” You nudged his nose a little.  “And not being afraid of me.”

“There are a lot worse things in the world to be afraid of than a beautiful woman,” Kili smiles.  “Whether she can turn into a bear or not.”

The two of you broke into laughter again before going quiet, lying there with your eyes closed, fingers intwined between the two of you.

“Will we be okay Kili?”

“I promise, we will.”