#jedi fallen order fic

[frost-queen]

I’ll risk it all for you (Reader x Cal Kestis)

Requested by: anon, Forever tag: @missmelodramatic, @theletterhart, @alex--awesome--22​, @elllie-does-the-posts, @floatlosers​, @merlieve​, @queen-of-books​, @glimmering-darling-dolly​, @denkisclown​, @wildieflower​, @meyocoko​, @bubblybrianna​, @justanothercoco​ @idkwhatmyusernameis,  @subjecta13-thefangirl, @m-rae23​, @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr​

You carefully looked where you stepped. Everywhere nothing but green. Kashyyyk was the planet you were on to find a Wookiee chieftain named Tarfful. – “Keep up Y/n!” – Cal called out, turning briefly to you. – “Scared I’ll fall behind?” – you responded with mischief in your eyes. Cal shook his head childishly, mocking your ways. He puffed loud, turning back to the front. His eyes widened when his foot took a step forwards. In a split second wrapped a rope around his ankle, shooting him up in the air. BD-1 having jumped off his back. Cal was hanging upside down, waving his arms around. 

You came closer, laughing your ass off. – “How’s it hanging?” – you asked lowering yourself with a tilt of your head to smile at him. Cal slowly swinging from side to side. – “Can you cut me down?” – he said irritated. You gave him a gentle poke in the chest, letting him swing a bit more, thinking. – “If you say pretty, please.” – you responded. – “Y/n!” – Cal groaned trying to pull his chest up with little success. – “I didn’t hear you say please.” – you made clear, holding your hand behind your ear. – “Can you for one second not be irritating?” – he already felt his blood lower to his head, making him dizzy. 

Shrugging your shoulders, you straightened your posture again. – “Bye Cal.” – you waved him goodbye, taking your leave. Cal pressed his palms against his eyes, groaning. – “Okay, wait!” – he forced out, hand stretched out to you. Curling up a smile, you returned to him. – “Yes Cal.” – you asked keeping him still as you let yourself bend down to meet eyes with him.

“Can you please cut me down…” – he asked. BD deliberately not interfering with your bickering. – “Sure.” – you answered. Pulling out a knife, you cut down Cal. He dropped with a loud thud, groaning at the sudden pain in his back. He came sitting down, untying the rope from around his ankle. – “See that wasn’t that hard, was it?” – you said out loud. Cal’s face stood sour, BD approaching. The droid hopped onto his back before he got up. You took a few steps, pausing to look at Cal behind you. 

“You might want to be careful; I hear there are boobytraps here.” – you teasingly exclaimed. Cal walked up to you, giving you a hard nudge. Making you nearly lose your balance. – “Very funny.” – you called out waiting to see his response, but there never came one. Following close by, you kept your eye out. You had been lucky to have not encountered any stormtroopers on your way. The war on Kashyyyk not being a pleasant one. Stepping up your pace, you took the lead. Taking a halt at a cliff. Cal coming to stand beside you. 

Hands on his hip he took a deep breath. He spotted a vine not that far, pulling it closer with the use of the force. – “So you want to go first or would you rather have us swing cozy together?” – he wiggled with his eyebrows making you roll your eyes. Cal shrugged his shoulders, taking a few steps back. – “BD, hold on.” – he said over his shoulder, gripping on tight to the vine. He started running, setting himself off at the cliff to jump across. You watched as he swinged in perfect balance across, landing steady on his feet.

He turned around waiting for an applause. You clapped briefly for his ego with a sarcastic smile. He gestured to you to be ready to catch the vine. Pulling his arm back, he let it swing hard back. You caught it, grabbing around with your hands to be certain you’d have it. Cal motioned for you to come. Taking a deep breath, you took some uncertain steps back. Running up to the cliff, you squealed loud at the drop off. The vine swung halfway across the cliff when a blaster shot fired your way. It missed you, hitting the rocky wall. 

Cal’s eyes widened, turning to where it came from. Up on another cliffy part, he noticed three stormtroopers. The sudden attack had startled you that much, you’d forgot to jump. Swinging above the deeps, slowing down with each swing. – “Cal!” – you called out in a panic, clamping onto the vine. He gasped loud, eyes wide with fear as you were a clear target now. You screamed, ducking a bit when blasters fired your way, missing you by a few hairs each time. Cal tensed his jaw, stretching his hand out upwards. 

He felt the strong push of the force, but the stormtroopers were too far for him to do any good damage. His eyes stood grant when a shot went your way. He forced his hand forwards, hitting you with the force. The vine got swung hard back to avoid being hit. You called it out, swinging hard back. There wasn’t much he could do. He needed to think quickly to avoid any concerning troubles. – “Y/n!” – he shouted. – “Hang on and when I tell you to, you let go and leap forwards.”

“What?” – you panicked at how ridiculous dangerous that sounded. – “Just trust me.” – he said in return. You nodded shakily as Cal used his way to make the vine move. You got blasted back, making you swing back. Blasts firing above your head. You went one more back, till you swung strongly back. – “Now!” – Cal shouted running up to the edge. You let go, jumping as you blind fully trusted Cal. Cal held his arm out for you to catch. Your fingers brushing over his lower arm down to his hand in the hopes he’d catch you. 

A blast fired Cal’s way making him flinch. You gasped loud, feeling your fingers brush against his, nothing afterwards. – “No!” – Cal screamed out; hand reached out down when he saw you fall. Your screams dying out down the pit you were falling. Cal got up, taking no second to dive headfirst after you. Hand stretched, wanting to reach for you. You had no idea what was below, eyes fixated on Cal who desperately tried to reach you. Light as a feather, you closed your eyes waiting for the worst. Then your back crashed against something hard, followed by wetness. 

Cal fell down into the waters, reaching for your body under water. You felt an arm go around your body, being pulled to the surface. Cal and you gasped above water. – “You okay Y/n?” – he asked worriedly, one hand pressed against your wet cheek. You splashed water in his face, confusing him for a second. – “What were you thinking!” – you called out furious. – “What?” – Cal replied confused. – “Why’d you jump so recklessly after me!” – splashing more water at him, you were angry that he would do something that stupid.

“I don’t know! I just did!” – he shouted back, getting as equally worked up as you. – “You could’ve been killed!” – you called out, arms trembling from the raw emotion. – “So could you!” – Cal responded loudly, staring intensely at you. Both holding that fierce gaze even when BD beeped loud on Cal’s back. Cal and you puffed, looking away. The two of you swimming to a little green island. Cal shook his leg in an attempt to dry it faster. You squeezed the water out of your clothing. A deep sound came from the caves not far from the little island you were on. 

It made you stumbled back against Cal. Cal holding you by the shoulders. – “Don’t tell me you are scared Y/n?” – he smirked, looking over your shoulder down to you. – “I am. Not.” – you confidently replied. Another sound made you shriek, clamping onto Cal. – “What was that Y/n?” – he laughed, all smug looking. You looked frightened around. – “It’s probably one of those spider creatures.” – he teased. Your eyes widened frantically, making you almost jump into his arms. Not wanting to be on the ground if it was. Cal laughing louder than ever at how needy you were. – “This isn’t funny Cal!” – you said rudely. – “You know I am deadly afraid of those things.”

“I know.” – he whispered in your ear, unable to hide the power it gave him. You pushed yourself off Cal, having a shudder go down your spine. – “It is probably nothing, Y/n.” – he reassured you. You weren’t so sure. Cal pointed at the caves as it was the only way away from this place. Swallowing nervously, you followed quietly. Darkness embraced you like a cloak when you entered the cave. BD turning his head lights on to light the way. 

Cal extracting his saber as it gave a faint light, reflecting against his face. Looking over his shoulder, he made sure you were close by. BD bleeped curiously, his lights beaming off the walls. Venturing deeper into the gaping cave’s mouth. You reached out to Cal, startling him. – “It’s just me.” – you said nervously. He took a deep breath, taking your hand. Guiding it to his belt where he insisted on you taking a hold off. This way he’d know you were close. Cal lowered his lightsaber when he came at an open space. Light from above falling into the pit. BD’s light dimming. 

The sunlight making you close your eyes for a second to adjust to it. Cal took a moment to observe. – “We can climb up right there.” – he pointed out. Not hearing you response, made him look down to his belt. Your hand wasn’t on it anymore, making him lift his head back up. – “Y/n?” – he said concerned, looking around. He found you standing not far from him, standing stiff. He walked up to you, tugging on your arm.

When you wouldn’t move, he knew something was wrong. BD bleeping warningly, making him look up. From a hole lighted up a few eyes. Cal gasped watching one of those spider creatures crawl out of it. His eyes widening, knowing how much you feared them. He pulled you behind him. – “BD! Stay with her!” – he ordered. The little droid jumping off his back. Cal readied his lightsaber with a twirl. He was about to launch forwards when he spotted another one coming. Soon three or four more came crawling out, making him back up. 

BD jumping warningly in front of you to move. You backed away, falling over a rock. – “Get back!” – Cal called out, waving his lightsaber around. BD moving frantically in front of you daring one to even come near you, for he would protect you till his last bleep. Cal launched forwards, striking his lightsaber at one of the spider creatures. Needing to keep his eyes on the others as well. From the corner of his eye, he saw one make his way over to you. Cal spun around, pulling the creature back by the way of the force. Gritting his teeth, he let it drop near him, sticking his lightsaber through it. With three at a time where they hissing and tapping their front legs forwards to Cal. Your heart beating out of your chest, too scared to move. Cal rolled back to block one’s path to you.

He fought them fiercely knowing how much it meant to you. Ready to fight them off for you. He struck another one down as two more appeared through the crawling space. One running rapidly over to BD and you. Your eyes wide with fear. BD electrocuted it as it only stung a bit. Cal shot his hand out, forcing it to be dragged back. He gasped when something sticky wrapped around his hand. 

The spider creatures fighting back. Moving his hand down, he started tearing it off. Two more spiders hissed their web his way. Making him drop his saber, hands bound together. Inhaling sharply was he now defenseless. They started surrounding him as he struggled to get free. Your eyes fixated on Cal, hearing him struggle. The urge to help him screaming louder inside of you. But what of those creatures you feared for so long. BD hopped on one foot, the other sticking to his body with a web. 

Slowly your friends were endangering themselves. Taking frantic breaths, you needed to act now. Something snapped inside of you, seeing them tackle Cal to the ground. Jumping up, you screamed it out, blasting at them. Cal turning his head in surprise at you. You kept firing, screaming out your rage. The spider creatures got several hits. One lost it’s leg as another one had pus trailing down it’s body. You got closer to them, acting on adrenaline to save your friends then to give in to your fear.

One exploded making Cal roll away. They started backing away to the hole they came from. You wouldn’t let them escape, taking your revenge on them. One by one shooting them till they died or exploded. Out of breath, you lowered your blaster. Cal frantically freeing himself to get to you. Knees buckling, they gave in, letting you drop down. Cal rushed in front of you, taking you by the shoulder. – “Are you okay Y/n?” – he asked worriedly. 

You let your hand rest against his cheek, catching your breath. Cal’s gaze moved rapidly over yours, taking a deep breath. – “You… you fought them Y/n… you actually fought them…” – he said half smiling. Touching your cheek he was very proud of you. – “Why? What made you overcome your fear?” – he asked. – “You…” – you responded. – “I couldn’t… I couldn’t watch losing you.” – you added, pulling yourself a bit up by his uniform. 

Cal let his finger brush against your cheek, sucking in a deep breath. Leaning in as he pressed his lips onto yours. Moving his hands to your lower back, pressing you closer to him. You kissed him passionately back. BD bleeping made you pull away. Cal got up to retrieve his lightsaber. You smiling admiring at him. He noticed it, chuckling. – “Are you going to continue drooling over me Y/n? or are you actually going to be helpful?”

You gave him a roll of your eyes. You walked up to him, standing near him to look upwards. – “It’s a pretty high climb.” – you stated. Cal moved his hand around your back, pulling you towards him. – “I know.” – he whispered before stealing a kiss from you. You gave him a playful slap for being so silly. – “Lucky for you, I can get us up in no time.” – he answered walking up to the wall. You followed, pushing him back with your bottom against his front. 

“I go first.” – you insisted. Cal smirking. – “Of course you are.” – he chuckled. You started the climb as Cal was right behind you. – “Eyes up Cal!” – you called out. – “Oh they are up.” – he replied mischievous. You looked down seeing him look up to you smiling. Rolling your eyes, you knew he was just enjoying the view. In no time were you back up to continue your search for Tarfful.

------------------------------------------------------------

Read more of my fics on my Masterlists!  

[hereforthefanficsandromance]

Fan Prize Story #3: Finding the Way Back Chapter I

Masterlists

AO3 Blogger Tumblr Audio Versions ⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆

Chapter Summary

Cal doesn't return from a mission forcing you to venture out into the Kashyyyk jungle to rescue him and face your greatest fears. Rating: 18+ Words: 1.2K

This story was made for @angeldarkness95 ⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆

The heat of the explosion forces sweat to bead along your forehead, dampening your neat hair. It was closer than you would have liked, but your reddened skin remains unburned. You smile at the flames engulfing the wretched Imperial base; it was an eyesore anyway. 

Something tugs at your mind, reminding you that this mission was a dual effort, bringing your attention to Cal. “That’s odd…” 

Fear consumes you, urging you to rush to aid Cal, but you push away the lies. You cannot believe such trivial feelings, only facts are reliable. Cal completed his portion of the mission, since the base blew up so spectacularly. He is on his way back to the ship, just like you. 

You shake your head and begin the journey back towards the Mantis. Cal must return from the opposite end of the base, where he completed his portion of the mission. Despite the tugging in your head, you keep your thoughts on getting back to the ship. Cal will meet you there. 

You speak aloud to your worry, hoping to rest the fear. “It’s probably nothing.” 

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆

It takes over half an hour to get back, even keeping your pace at a light jog. As you enter the loading door, Greez and Cere look up from their seats at the table. 

You flash them a victory smile and glance around your current housing, grateful to be away from the wildlife. “Mission complete! Did Cal beat me back?”

Cere raises her dark eyebrows. “Cal has not returned yet.” 

You shrug and sit on the bench seating in the middle of the craft, enjoying the downtime while Cal makes his way back. You suspect Cal’s return will take twice as long as yours, assuming he doesn’t get distracted. “I’m sure he’ll be here soon. BD probably ran off to scan something.” 

Cere joins you and sits at the opposite end. “I hope you’re right. He’s not late…yet.” 

You chuckle. “You know how Cal is, always getting distracted by something.” 

You pass the downtime with your feet resting on the center table, enjoying peace after exerting yourself all afternoon. Blowing up an Imperial base is easy enough, like taking clams from a Gungan. The bucketheads stand out against the greenery of the forest, making them easy to target. 

The difficulty was the dangerous fauna, which blends into the landscape, hiding from view, using the element of surprise as its chief advantage. You shudder at the thought of the multi legged creatures; the recent memory making your skin crawl. 

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆

You lower your feet, boots sounding on the grated floor as it becomes clear Cal is actually late. Cere makes multiple efforts to reach him on the comms, but radio static is the only response. You take up leaning against the loading door frame, surveying the edge of the forest for Cal’s unlikely return. 

Guilt creeps in, pondering if the tug in your mind had been a warning of Cal’s inevitable absence. You reject the notion, reminding yourself that you cannot trust in the Force anymore. It has failed you in your time of need, and you won’t be so foolish twice. Minutes drag by and you find it difficult to relax, despite your statuesque frame in the doorway. 

Cere joins you, worry etched on her forehead. “We still can’t reach Cal on the comms. Kashyyyk does an excellent job blocking our signals.” 

Greez’s voice rings out from the kitchen. “Kid, did you see anything out there?” 

You answer Greez too loud, nearing overly defensive. “No! I mean, Cal definitely completed his part of the mission, or the explosion wouldn’t have been so spectacular.” 

He raises two palms in a mock shrug. “How ‘bout the Force? You can feel each other through it, right?” 

Your face heats at the thought of feeling Cal under any circumstances, causing you to stutter your attempted response. 

Cere interrupts. “That’s not exactly how it works, Greez.” 

“Well, what do I know? I’m just the guy who takes care of all you Jedi. You could at least fill me in on how it works.” 

Cere joins Greez in the kitchen, attempting to explain the Force. You’d find comfort in their banter if icy dread wasn’t washing over you. Absent minded, you pull your favorite stylus out of your pocket and spin it to soothe the discomfort of worry. 

You wonder if you were wrong to ignore the tug, if you’re too late now. Eyes closing and breathing slowly through your nose, you push aside the endless array of outcomes. Your mind, a creature of habit, attempts to slip into meditation, but you don’t allow it. Only focusing on your breathing and keeping one foot in the present. 

You stare at the tree line, willing Cal’s appearance to put an end to the internal suffering in your mind. He doesn’t, and each second wears on you. 

What if he’s horribly injured, or worse, dead? Regret seeps in, knowing that you didn’t tell him the truth about your feelings. How he takes your breath away when he stands too close, or how your heart flutters when he cracks a joke in his low and husky voice. 

Finally, you succumb to the panic, moving into the ship to retrieve a supply bag, tossing your favored item into its depths. Cere and Greez perk up, watching you with interest. 

You spare them a glance as you move methodically to ensure the bag is well stocked. “I’m going to go look for him. He’s been gone too long.” 

Cere nods. “Stay safe out there. The Kashyyyk forest is dangerous. Keep your eyes up.” 

You press your lips together. “I’ve got this. I’ll bring back Cal in one piece.” 

She gives you a tight-lipped smile, standing to bid you goodbye. “May the Force be with you.” 

You don’t acknowledge the language and exit the ship. 

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆

As you enter the web of trees, your ears attune to the roar of life around you: chirping, screeches, and rustling from above. The noise puts you on high alert, each hair on your body standing on end. The heightened state forces you into paranoia; keeping a hand on your lightsaber and jumping at shadows, fearing the worst. Though it is not the perils of the jungle that terrify you, but the man awaiting your rescue. 

You had a lover, a normal life, years after the purge. He had meant everything to you, but it’s clear you did not hold equal value in his heart. 

Adrenaline courses through your veins at the memory and the dangerous terrain. You focus hard to calm your breathing, but the longer you go without meditation, the more difficult controlling your body and mind has become. 

You speak aloud in a low tone, trying to soothe yourself as one might soothe a child. “It’s not a big deal. Cal’s fine. Nothing happened to him.” 

Your mind takes the words and runs in a different direction, making you aware of the possibility that Cal is, in fact, luring you deep into the woods to betray you. If one man could betray your love and trust, why wouldn’t another? Perhaps it’s your fate to be cast aside for a richer opportunity, to feel the flame of love and burn in its heat. 

Your feelings for Cal are likely blinding you to his true nature. His good looks are a distraction; his muscular form, his flaming hair, his kind eyes. 

“No! Cal wouldn’t do that…I hope…” 

The image of his eyes crinkled as he laughs at your joke, flashes before your eyes. He wouldn’t, would he? You want to believe the best in him, but you grip your lightsaber hilt tight as you move through the jungle. 

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆

Need to Rant with Others Who Have Read This Story?

Join My DiscordIt's free! Members get updates, sneak peaks, bonus content, events, and countdowns to new chapters. We'd love to have you, even if you just lurk!

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆

Love/Like/Hate What You Read?

Comment (please!) on AO3 or Blogger Anonymous/Comment/Message/Reblog on Tumblr Compliments feed me Constructive Criticism improves me

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆

Next Chapter

[serena-darrin]

So, I got Baldur's Gate 3 for my Birthday, and uh, I've rather been eaten by that fandom now too. (It doesn't help that the Baldur's Gate fandom is one of my earliest fandoms I wrote for, eons ago, and I have a much-neglected BG2 fanfic on Ao3 that I still have material for!) So between that and Jedi Survivor, I have wonderful, terrible, ideas for @Whumptober. The question is, will I actually have time to get the ideas from my head to the computer, considering I am currently behind with Work Writing? /sigh/

[spaced0lphin]

Stinger Mantis Interior Shots for Reference

Here is a collection of some interior shots of the Stinger Mantis, as a visual resource intended for fic writers and artists. I included basic overviews of each area, and a few angles of notable interest (Such as what Cal can actually see when sitting in his chair, or his cot.) Find them all behind the cut!

The Galley

The Seating Area

The Cockpit

The Cockpit: Cal's Eye View (Seated)

Cal's Room

Cal's Room: Cal's Eye View (Lying on Cot)

The Weird Secret Room Under the Stairs

This is probably a hallway leading to Greez and Cere's individual quarters. The actual doors at the end of this hallway have weird textures on, but understandable as they're never meant to be seen.

Enjoy! I hope these are useful. If you need reference like this of other areas, let me know.

[wayfaringjedi]

The Blanket Stitch

Read on Ao3 // 2,735 words // Cal/Merrin // T for Teen Cal's favourite poncho is destroyed during a death-defying escape. Merrin tends to his wounds, and through that tenderness, the two piece together a shared moment in time. (From a Discord prompt.)

[animatedjen]

The days after Fallen Order, Pt 4

[fullbattleregalia]

I’ve been reading a lot of Star Wars prequels time travel fix-its, and I really want one now where it’s Anakin and Trilla (aka Second Sister), who get sent back. Anakin from right after he finally kills Palpatine and Trilla from right after Vader killed her. Just two semi-kinda-maybe reformed sith jammed back into their teenage bodies and being like, “Well, that was an absolute shit show - let’s not do that again.” Only Anakin had just started his redemption arc when he died and Trilla had only just gotten the closure to maybe consider a starting a redemption arc when she died, so they have no idea what they’re doing. Aside from killing Palpatine - that is the one thing they definitely agree on. How? Not sure. Still working on that.

Anyway, Anakin is around 17; Trilla is almost 14. They’ve snuck out of the Temple and are on the run on Coruscant, so that they can complete their plan of “Murder the Supreme Chancellor with Extreme Prejudice” and also because Trilla maaaaay have reflexively kidnapped an initiate on their way out of the Temple. Listen, teeny Initiate Cal Kestis was right there, and he’s the one thing Trilla has roundabout positive associations with at the moment, and the sudden reintroduction of teenage hormones is hell on impulse control. So she’s keeping him. This is her tiny initiate now. Cere can’t have him. Neither can Anakin - go kidnap your own initiate if you want one so bad.

Cal thinks this is all an exciting adventure, though he doesn’t quite understand why Padawan Suduri and Padawan Skywalker keep arguing over whether just blowing up the entire Senate building is worth the effort. Maybe it’s an inside joke?

[incorrectskywalkers]

Fallen Order AU where Cere is killed and Cal is taken by Darth Vader with the intention of making him an Inquisitor. But when Cal’s psychometric abilities are revealed, Vader has a different plan in mind, one that causes certain truths and revelations to come to light. Cal didn’t know what he was getting into when he showed Vader what he saw through those echoes, but he really didn’t sign up to accompany said Sith Lord while he went through a midlife crisis.

Essentially, Vader finds out the truth about how Palpatine lied to him and how Padmé really died and also the fact that he has twins out there somewhere and decides “fuck palpatine” and drags a bewildered Cal - who becomes his unofficial apprentice of sorts - with him as he plots a way to take the emperor down and also, find his kids.

Also a Darth Vader redemption of sorts. He’s still a pretty shitty guy at the start and his whole reason for wanting to kill the Emperor is solely to avenge Padmé. He also has some murderous intent towards Obi-Wan for hiding his children from him and also, leaving him to burn. He’s in the mindset of believing that he wasn’t at fault and blames others for everything that happened, including his actions. But gets a hard wakeup call from Cal when he shows him just how shitty things are and what the Empire, what he has done and finally thinks “oh, I’m the problem” and from then on his slow redemption starts as he sets out on attempting to repair the damage done as he starts back on the rocky path towards the light. He also trains Cal, who at first goes “fuck that and fuck you” but eventually the two become a duo. Like Vader and Starkiller if Vader was going through a crisis, stumbling through a path of redemption and Starkiller was his tired, annoyed, unofficial apprentice who was unwillingly dragged along for the ride.

[breakfastteatime]

Today's Fallen Order request is Shine for @thefinaljediknight

The planet sings. Cal feels it the moment they touch down. This world is so alive, and not because there’s a Maw somewhere beneath him, waiting for its next meal. The Force gushes and froths, a rapid river ready to swallow him whole. Beyond the cockpit, the planet’s incredible plant life shimmers in the soft rain, yellows, reds, purples, oranges, pinks, humming and swaying. The Force wants to take him by the hand and lead him in a dance. He looks to Cere. Does she feel it too? If she does, she shows nothing. Is that how effectively she’s cut herself off from the Force? Cal can’t imagine not feeling this, even if the Force might pull him apart like petals on the wind.

“Cal?” Greez calls as he finalises the landing procedure. “Something wrong? You’re looking spacey.”

He shakes his head, unable to put it into words. What would he say to someone who can’t feel the Force at all? How could he explain how this planet shines? BD too. He has no sense of this.

What a terrible, inexplicable loss for them. Cal can’t bear it. He can’t.

“Hey, whoa, what – ” Greez’s confusion is silenced when Cal wraps his arms around him and hugs him tight. “You okay, kid?”

Cal feels Greez patting him on the back, offering comfort when it should be the other way around. He reaches out, pulls BD in close too. “I wish you two could feel this.”

“Uh – ”

BD gives a curious beep.

Cal can’t speak.

“This planet is very, very strong in the Force,” Cere explains for Greez’s benefit. “Cal is a little overwhelmed by it.”

“Oh,” Greez says. He returns the hug. “If this is what Cal looks like when he’s overwhelmed, I think we can handle it.”

BD announces Cal scan results suggest he’s high.

Cere’s smile catches on the Force and flutters off on golden wings. “Yes, it probably feels a lot like that for him.”

Cal can’t contain himself a moment longer. Releasing Greez and BD, he rushes to the hatch, hits the override, and opens the ship up to the world ahead. He throws himself to the ground before the ramp can finish extending. His feet hit the grass – bare feet because he didn’t stop to put his boots on. Pollen and seeds cast themselves into the air, sparkling in the light when the sun breaks through the rainclouds. Cal tilts his face to the sky, eyes closed as he basks in the energy humming around him. No, he won’t fly away here. Maybe he’ll sink instead, into a cloud of light and life, streams of light dancing around him. He does a one-legged twirl worthy of BD just to take it all in, pulling the Force around him so it gathers like a cloak. The Force takes his hand and pulls him away, leading him up, up, up, above a forest of flowers in bloom and trees finding new life in spring. The world is coming back to life after a long, hard winter, and the planet sings with such joy the Force swells and rises.

A hand lands on his shoulder. “Cal.”

It’s hard, returning to himself. Cere’s warm hand, the cupped light that is her true self a beacon calling him back. He opens his eyes and sees a meadow around him, flowers turned to him like he is the sun. He’s on his knees, Cere at his side. Lungs full of fresh, clean air, he reaches out, lets the yellowpinkpurplered petals brush over his fingers. “Cere,” he breathes. He can’t capture what this place is. He’s never felt anything like it. Never. And with his slowly healing Force connection, it feels like… like maybe he really can do what Cere’s asking of him, expecting of him.

Trust only in the Force.

Cere crouches down, wrapping an arm around him. “I know,” she says.

He falls against her side, closing tear-filled eyes. Such joy. He doesn’t want to leave.

“Can you hold onto yourself while Greez and I head into town, or do we need to go somewhere else?”

It’s an effort to pull back, to put a barrier between him and this wonderful place. He is drunk on this place, so high he could brush the stars with his fingers.

Cere’s hand closes around his, pulling it down. “I think Greez might need to go on this trip alone.”

Cal falls forward, pressing his ear to the dirt. He can hear the planet’s song. He wants to listen to its ebb and flow forever.

“Is he okay?” Greez’s voice blends with the music.

“Can you manage the resupply?” Cere’s voice soars above the chorus. “I need to stay with him.”

Cal can’t contain himself. “I can hear the song.”

BD whistles, his weight leaving Cal’s back. The next thing he feels is Cere’s hand once more, resting on his back. She is a mute dulling the music, and he can’t stand it. He can’t. He doesn’t want to simply hear it; he wants to be in that flow.  “Let go,” he tells Cere.

“No. I know, Cal, I know what this must be like for you, but you mustn’t let it carry you away. Hold onto yourself. Let the Force flow around you here, not through you. If the Force is a river, you are standing on the banks watching it rush by.”

He doesn’t want to watch. It’s not enough. He’s never felt the Force so completely before, so happy, unrestrained, life, so much life, everything alive and –

Cere’s touch is more insistent now, a sharp tug where a Padawan braid once would have hung. Startled, he stares at her. “I know, I’m sorry. Focus on me. We’re going back to the ship.”

“To meditate?”

“No, not here. I think you’d disappear forever.”

“Become one with the Force?” It would be like being all the colours of a rainbow. He can’t help smiling.

“Definitely no becoming one with the Force, Cal. We’re going to ground you, one way or another.”

The Mantis hums around him, and Cal can’t remember if that’s the ship’s usual sound or if maybe it’s found a song to sing too. Cere sits him down on the couch.

“Potolli weave really is so comfortable,” Cal sighs.

“Come back down from the sky.” Cere sits on the table ahead of him.

“You shine,” Cal tells her. He pokes her. “You can’t hide it from me!”

Cere smiles, a strange smile, all sad and wistful. “When your master wanted you to hone your focus, what did he make you do?” she asks.

Padawan, it is –

“ – time for instruction.” He giggles at his own impression of Master Tapal.

“And what were those instructions?” Cere asks gently.

Focus on the here and now, what you see ahead of you, the scent in the air, the feel of the deck beneath your feet and the clothes against your skin. Tell me all about it.

By the time Cal’s done telling Cere all about it, the Force’s song has dropped in volume and he feels very aware of himself. Was he always so unwieldy? So clumsy? He stares at Cere, feeling the blush on his skin. Did he really try to hug the ground? Maybe if he asks nicely it will swallow him whole. “Sorry, I – ”

She cuts him off. “It’s very special, isn’t it?”

He grins. “Very.”

[starwarsalltypesoflove]

SW - ALL TYPES OF LOVE WEEK

INFO

Star Wars: All Types of Love week is a fandom event of fancreations, lasting a week, that celebrates love in its many forms! Since we celebrate romantic love and familial love often, we thought it might be time to give an opportunity for other kinds of love to shine!

Inspired by the Ancient Greek Philosophers and their seven kinds of love, we aim to showcase those different, less celebrated loves. Rooting for the little guys!

HOW TO PARTICIPATE

No sign-up, nothing. Just create!!!

Post during the appropriate week and you’re good!

We welcome any kind of creation, as long as it is truly yours. Even old posts being reblogged is fine! Old creations deserve as much love as new ones.

Fanfics, fanarts, moodboards, fanvids, fancomics, banners, playlists… An epic fic or a 100 word drabble, an amazing painting or a stick figures funny scene- we love it all!!

WHEN TO POST

Wednesday 7th of February, 00h00 PST, to Wednesday 14th of February, 23h59 PST.

HOW TO POST

Post under the tag SWATOLW during the week the event is running. Add the tag of the type of love you are representing. 

Be sure to @ us so we can appreciate what you’ve made and put it in the round-up!

WHAT TO POST

Star Wars characters, places, animals, games… Be it from the movies, the novels, the comics, the shows like The Clone Wars, The Mandalorian, Andor or even your own OC, the important parts are:

It must be from the Star Wars fandom

It must be about Love and that love must be not romantic or familial

To get a better idea of what we mean by that, you can read more about the seven types of love here. In short, we want to give a chance to shine to:

Love of Friends #philia

Love of Strangers #agape

Love of Partners #pragma

Love of Players #ludus

Love of Self #philautia

You can post about any of these, at any time of the week. There isn’t a day assigned to each type. The point is to create without pressure and celebrate all the types of love we don’t often focus on! The more of these you depict, the more we will love you for it!

QUESTIONS

“I love my two clones who are bffs, but they are clones. Does their love count as familial?”

Well, the truth rather depends on your point of view how you present it.

Pairs like Fives and Echo, and Rex and Cody, are usually understood in canon and fandom to be family. They can be friends too, but we’d prefer to focus on other pairs for this event. Post another time. We’re sure people will love it.

Alpha-17 and Cody have a cross-generational friendship? As long as the way their relationship is described/shown isn’t the dynamic of big brother & younger brother, or father figure & son figure, it’s good!

Want to show off Waxer & Boil being two peas in a pod? We would love that! As long as it isn’t a ship or they, the characters, don’t feel like the other is kin in the way we understand it.

“I want to show my two Mandalorians who are Partners In Bounty Hunting, but they are from the same clan. Does this work?”

No. I’m sorry, but it does not. We consider clan to be the SW equivalent of immediate family, a close circle, so it’s not the right event for this. But it does work if they are just from the same house or faction!

“Can I do two Jedi who are teammates and lovers?”

You can show any characters (two, three, four…) having a relationship that is sexual and based on love. As long as that love is not romantic.

If what moves your Jedi is the sense of purpose found in duty, the common love for the Light and the wider galaxy, the playfulness and affection shared between bed partners, these feelings can be as big as the moon, and it is still fine!

That is the whole point!

Feelings can be enormous and serious and important and still not be romantic or familial.

But if it’s shown or implied that the relationship is romantic/familial or turning so at some point, that is not what our event is focused on.

We know people are a bit tired from the holidays and that Valentine’s Day is a period often rich with events, which is why we put these conditions so it can be as low-pressure as possible. The point is to rejoice in all the breadth and the richness of the human sentient experience of love. In the love of Star Wars. And in the love of this community.

Be civil and show goodwill to participants and spectators. Be kind. YKINMKATO. Go crazy! Be creative! Have fun!

Love!

@swfandomevents

[i-think-in-metaphors]

no sign of the little one.

Cal turns around, compelled by a power he’s learning isn’t his.

And he sees – a ghost.

That’s all it can be. A kriffin’ ghost.

A figure in white. Plastoid chest piece scuffed with blaster marks from a mission gone wrong.

[frost-queen]

Touch on touch (Reader x Cal Kestis)

Requested by: anon Forever tag:@missmelodramatic, @merlin-dahlia, @alex--awesome--22, @elllie-does-the-posts, @floatlosers, @merlieve, @queen-of-books, @glimmering-darling-dolly@denkisclown, @wildieflower, @meyocoko, @bubblybrianna, @justanothercoco@subjecta13-thefangirl, @m-rae23, @harleyquinnswifeyfrfr, @swampthing07, @melsunshine

You frantically panicked feeling a hand on your back. It made you jump out of your skin, taking a leap forwards to get away. Turning around, you were panting. – “Hey it’s just me.” – Cal said holding both his hands up. You untensed knowing it was him. BD bleeped loud on his back. – “You are right.” – he told the droid. – “I’m sorry I should’ve given you a warning before touching.” – Cal told you.

You shakily shook your head. – “No… it’s fine… it’s just… something I need to get familiar with.” – you responded rubbing your hands nervously together. Cal nodded lowering his hands. He knew all too well of your journey. How touch starved you were after being in solitude for so long.

Dropped onto a forgotten planet because there was a war going on. Inquisitors raiding every planet. Your parents thought it was best to hide you on a planet not existing on the maps. Cal remembered it clear how you first shared your story after finding you.

He was on the planet to lay low from the empire for a while. What he didn’t expect was to find someone, a girl on this abandoned planet. He was for sure surprised. At first you were very wary. Keeping your distance. Only the droid was allowed to come close after a while. Cal respected your boundaries, trying to gain your trust from afar.

He kept a close eye, knowing BD was near you. It took him nearly a week to just get a few inches closer to you. By the end of the next week he achieved to sit by you. Then it took him a lot more trust and patience to be where he was now with you. Trusting him enough you shared your story. Of how your parents dropped you here with the promise to return and collect you.

You waited patiently for years. If it wasn’t for Cal dropping by, you’d still be waiting. Waiting for people that were never going to come. You did not know if they were killed or had simply forgotten about you. To be honest you couldn’t care. They abandoned you.

Cal looked briefly over his shoulder to BD. BD bleeped loud. – “May I approach?” – Cal said humorously. You laughed loud. – “Since you asked so nicely.” – you replied. Cal smirked approaching you calmly. He held his hand up, quirking his eyebrow up. You smiled slowly moving your hand up as well. Your palms touched making him smile wider. He moved his fingers down, holding your hand.

He gestured if he could come closer. Hesitant for a second, you yielded and nodded. Cal stepped closer to you. Tips of your shoes touching. He brought your entangled hand closer to his lips, leaving a sweet kiss there. It tickled making you wave your hand at the ticklish feeling. – “Now do it here.” – you said pointing at your arm. – “As my lady pleases.” – he said not minding at all. If it was up to him, he’d be kissing you non-stop all around.

He kissed your arm, giving you that same tickling sensation. – “Anywhere else Y/n?” – he asked raising his eyebrow flirty. You thought for a moment, tapping your neck gently. You didn’t have to say that twice. Cal placed his hand behind your neck, forcing you to lean your head back to give him more area to kiss. His lips kissed you so teasingly it almost made you weak on your knees.

He kissed you there trice as you chuckled enjoyable. He knew you liked it, you just needed to get more used to it. The beard that he had grown out, brushing against your smooth skin. You cleared your throat tapping your chin. Cal looked up, tilting your head more back by your chin. – “And here I thought you weren’t so keen on my touch.” – he chuckled out with a flicker of pining in his eyes.

“I have my moments.” – you answered, tapping your chin again. BD hopped off his back, letting you have some room. Cal slowly kissed your chin, his touch making you grasp onto him. Cal pulled your chin down, his lips coming in line with yours. – “My turn to choose.” – he breathed out, staring at your lips. – “Go on.” – you whispered.

Cal smirked, knowing there was something else he needed to do first. He moved his hands under your shirt against your back. Slowly letting his  hands rub your back. Your back arched as you groaned with delight. He knew it was your weak spot. So desperate for his touch all of the sudden you grabbed him, forcing your lips onto his. He kissed you like there was no one around. Well there was no one around…

When you returned to the Mantis, BD was joined by Cere. – “I was wondering what you were doing for the little one to seek out my company.” – Cere teased, giving him a head rub. – “Nothing like you think.” – Cal answered humorously. Cere hummed not believing much of it. You came sitting down. Cal coming to sit beside you.

He moved his hand between your back and the sofa, forcing you to lean a bit forwards. He let his hand slide under your shirt once more. Rubbing your back in a calming way. He felt how it untensed you. BD hopped onto the table in front of you. BD started bleeping loud moving around while giving sight to his words.

You laughed loud at what he was telling you. Cal smiled, looking over at you. Impulsively he gave your shoulder a kiss. – “I love you Y/n.” – he whispered, making Cere pretend she didn’t hear that. You turned to him. – “I love you too Cal Kestis.” – you responded.

--------------------------------------

Read more of my fics on my Masterlists!  

[hereforthefanficsandromance]

The Way He Looks at You Series I:I

Act I: The Way He Looks at You Chapter 1: The Way He Looks at You

Read on AO3 Read on Blogger Read on Tumblr Story Master List: The Way He Looks at You Series

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆

Chapter Summary

After being dumped by your Jedi boyfriend, you accidentally bump into Inquisitor Cal Kestis, the Thirteenth Brother. He takes an interest in you and intends to give you what you desire most. Rating: 18+ Words: 2.7K

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆

You are shuffling through a city on Coruscant, attempting to find relief in the crowded marketplace. Having fled your work at the nearby Rebellion safe house, you had walked until ending up here. It’s always been dangerous working right under the nose of the Empire, but it became lucrative to have a few soldiers at ground zero.

Your eyes are tired from all the crying, and you can barely pay attention as you walk down the dirty streets. Normally, showing weakness in public would humiliate you, but right now, it doesn’t feel like it matters if people see you at your worst. Nothing can cause more distress than the pain in your chest.

You had woken up this morning believing your life to be moving in a positive direction. It took six months of going steady, and two years of pretending not to flirt while on various missions together. But you had finally gone all the way with your boyfriend, thinking things could only get better.

You’re one hell of a pilot; and had a knack for knowing exactly where to be to get your teammates out of particularly sticky situations. It made you valuable to the Rebellion; it allowed you to meet Theo.

He fell for you during your first mission together, but rejected his feelings. You’re pretty, but that isn’t enough to pull a Jedi. Theo’s initial attraction to you ensured more opportunities to work together; he found any excuse to assign you as the pilot for his missions.

You were immediately smitten as well and struggled to resist his natural charm. Emoting your feelings was second nature, which makes it easy to flirt when you find someone attractive. You were confident in your ability to get boyfriends, but meeting Theo caused you to stumble. You lost your confidence with flirting and instead let him lead. Jedi had been off limits before the purge and you had lived under the assumption that this was still true. You weren’t willing to risk losing him by pushing your luck.

When speaking to Theo, you carefully monitored your words, but never fretted your actions. Conveniently, you were always available to help him with any task. You also kept a first aid pack on your ship at all times, trying desperately to be the one to bandage his wounds. It meant one-on-one time where you had an excuse to touch him and listen to his stories. The conversations quickly became more friendly. You would giggle at his jokes and he would try to impress you with his tales. You hated to see him hurt, but found yourself disappointed when he came back unscathed.

You accidentally showed that disappointment after a mission when he excitedly let you know that he finally made it back without a single injury. While you said nothing incriminating, you felt your expression drop and Theo noticed it as well.

He later tapped you on the shoulder during the journey home and asked if you could look at his finger. Claiming that he didn’t feel any pain when he first got back on the ship but he was feeling an ache now. You both knew it was a lie, but you wrapped his finger anyway while he watched and talked about the events of the day.

He was so handsome it made it difficult to stay focused on your work. His features never failed to captivate you; he had dark messy hair and gray eyes that pulled you in. It didn’t hurt that he also had a charming, boyish smile and always looked right at you when he spoke. He made you feel special during those times, like everything he said was only to pull a reaction only from you.

The longer the two of you worked together, the more you needed him like air. Everyone else realized how inseparable you both had become, but you knew nothing could result from it. He was always loyal to the Jedi Code, and you understood he could not form attachments.

Theo surprised you when he asked you to be his girlfriend. He did it during one of your many first aid sessions. He had been silent while you tended to the cut on his arm, prompting you to ask if he was okay. Theo paused for a moment, then suggested the possibility of dating. There was conflict in his eyes when he asked, however, you both agreed to try the relationship. You were over the moon, but he seemed reserved in his decision.

Your relationship lacked most physical intimacy, but you were happy just to belong to him. The two of you kissed from time to time, but Theo always cut the sessions short before they could lead anywhere. Despite your disappointment, you respected his decision to take things slowly until yesterday.

You had intentionally been wearing rather revealing clothing on your day off with him. You couldn’t help it. He was so good looking that you wanted more. Maybe not sex, but more than kissing. You just wanted him to desire you the way you desired him. The blue shirt you chose was low cut, showing off your ample cleavage. You had paired it with a black skirt that hit above your knees. You spent the day with Theo, teasing him relentlessly but acting innocent the entire time.

It was so easy to just bend over right in front of him while picking something up, allowing your skirt to rise a couple of inches. When you stood back up, holding whatever object you had pretended to care about, his face had become flushed and his mouth hung open.

During lunch, you had placed your hands in your lap to push your breasts together while he spoke. Tilting your head to the side while listening to him tell a story from a recent mission. You didn’t miss how he glanced down and stumbled over his words, needing a moment to regather his thoughts before continuing the tale.

You even squeezed past him when he was standing in a tight area of his kitchen. There was nothing you needed on the other side of his body, but you found something to pretend to grab, just so you could rub your ass against the front of his trousers. You had felt how stiff he already was for you, but ignored it, or at least acted like you didn’t notice. He had released the tiniest exhale at the touch, a small gasp showing his inability to fully resist his desire.

It was enough. When you kissed him goodnight before leaving to go back to your own place, he wasn’t ready to stop. He had pulled you flush against his body, something he hadn’t done previously while kissing. It became obvious why he had always kept space between your bodies. His arousal was apparent. It was hard not to rub against it, but you didn’t want to risk scaring him off, so you let Theo lead.

He guided you back into his bedroom without coming up for air. However, he broke the kiss to ask permission before removing each article of your clothing. He removed them all, and you had never felt more beautiful in that moment. The way he observed your body was far superior to any of the times he watched you when he spoke. His hungry gaze and small smile could make anyone feel like the most gorgeous woman in the world.

When he took off his clothes, and you stopped breathing. He was perfect. You had seen him without a shirt from the previous times of doing his first aid. And you had definitely looked when he wasn’t paying attention. But this was nothing like those moments. Because he wanted you to look, he wanted to see how your eyes raked over his body. He watched you, wanting to see your approval and lust. He didn’t stop watching you as he slowly removed his trousers. You felt a distinct need to open your mouth when they dipped down past his hips and it slapped upwards, hitting his lower belly.

But he didn’t give you an opportunity to satisfy that craving, because he pulled you into his arms and backed you up against his bed. Wanting to get right to the main event. It made sense. It’s not like he had much experience in that realm. You thought that maybe the next time you could show him how enjoyable things could be before orgasm. But this time, you’d let him take what he needed.

The poor man barely lasted a minute, but that minute felt like heaven. Theo was needy and chasing his own pleasure. It still felt good, but it wasn’t enough to get you off. The noises he made during that minute, if only you could have recorded them. That would be the only sound you would want to hear for the rest of your life. The whimper that escaped his lips when he first entered you did something to your brain that you may never understand. His grunts in your ear as he pumped himself deep into your heat were music to your ears. You bit down on his shoulder just to hear more. His body reacted immediately to the feeling, and he groaned deep and throaty, precisely what you wanted. Only then, you realized that you accidentally pushed him over the edge.

He had collapsed onto your body, kissing your neck and collarbone repeatedly, like he was trying to thank you for allowing him to reach his peak. He rolled you both onto your sides and held you close against his chest all night, whispering sweet nothings into your hair until you both fell asleep.

Then you woke up this morning, and he wasn’t holding you anymore, he wasn’t even laying in the bed with you. Instead, he was sitting on the edge of the bed, his back facing you. Of course, you immediately asked if everything was okay, letting the sheets fall from your body. He never answered your question and only asked you to put your clothes back on so he could talk to you. It was the most humiliated you’d ever felt. You suddenly felt extremely vulnerable in your nakedness. He wouldn’t even look at you, as if ashamed at the thought of even viewing your unclothed body. The body that he had been so eager to see, and touch, and be inside of was suddenly impossible for him to look at.

With your clothes on, he finally looked at you. He explained he had broken the Jedi Code, and he needed to remember the old ways and not stray from his path. There was a ringing in your ears as your mind exited your body, desperate to protect you from the hurt you both knew was coming.

Theo broke up with you, and it felt like you were watching your life get sucked away into the abyss. He stated that the two of you could no longer work together on missions, at least until this had blown over. But encouraged you to go back to Yavin 4, to continue your work with a different team. He tried to explain the Rebellion could surely use your talents elsewhere and you are a good soldier in this fight. It’s like the last six months of your relationship had never existed. The way he spoke sounded like a captain speaking to an underling; there was no familiarity.

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆

The emotions well up again as you remember how he looked at you. The past few years, Theo gazed at you like you were all that mattered to him. Yet today, when he looked at you, that expression had vanished. You would likely never see that look on his face again.

Hot tears pool and flood towards the quickest exit from your lower lids. The big ones fall straight from the center while the smaller ones had the courtesy to fall from the corners. You wipe them away before they hit your exposed chest. A cruel reminder that you were wearing yesterday’s clothes, and the memories stored in them.

The tears in your eyes cause your vision to blur so severely that you accidentally bump into a civilian on the street. You don’t want any trouble, so you quickly mumble out an apology. Your body gently bounces off of them and you adjust your direction so that you can try to pass without hitting them.

A hand grabs right above your elbow, not letting you pass. You feel the sense of danger, but are overall too numb to fully emote.

“You should really be more careful.” A cruel voice says, you can hear their lips curling as they speak. Alarm bells are ringing, but the shock of this morning dulls the intensity.

First, you look down at the hand, trying to process the situation. Long slender fingers curl around your arm, gripping you in place. The pale skin covered in a galaxy of freckles. You want to follow the constellations upwards, but the cuff of their black uniform prevents it.

Your heart palpitates, your eyes creeping up the sleeve, until you see it. The Inquisitor Insignia on their shoulder, right at eye level. Your gaze hesitates, denial setting into your mind, knowing what you’re seeing but not wanting to confirm your suspicions.

“I’m speaking to you.” The voice says, tightening their fingers around your upper arm.

This snaps you out of the thoughts. You look up into a pair of intense green eyes. His bright red hair and the matching stubble immediately give away the identity of this man.

Your familiarity of the Inquisitors had come from several years of working for the rebellion. Theo had even known this man before he fell to the Dark Side; they had trained together as younglings.

The Thirteenth Brother’s sharp features are menacing but beautiful. The photos you had seen didn't do him justice. He’s handsome, but his hard eyes lack mercy and it makes your whole body tremble. You can’t help but let your eyes trail over his features, especially when he stands so close and it might be the last thing you ever see. At least he’s easy on the eyes.

Your gaze traces the sharp edge of his jaw before glancing up at his well-groomed hair. As your eyes travel downward, you note the thin scar across its bridge that runs onto his right cheek. Finally, observing at his full lips and accidentally wondering what they must feel like. You didn’t think it was possible to feel so much attraction towards someone so dangerous. Something must be wrong with you.

The Thirteenth Brother snickers and uses his other hand to place a finger under your chin. Tilting your head until your eyes finally look back up into his. He has a funny expression on his face, a combination of annoyance and amusement. The left corner of his mouth raises ever so slightly.

“I haven’t heard that before.” He says.

Your eyebrows furrow, not understanding his words.

He clarifies, “Easy on the eyes.” His expression doesn’t change. He only observes your face as it flushes with realization.

You panic and quickly run through everything he might have heard in your mind: about his lips, and your attraction, and something being wrong with you. You try to clear your mind and focus on returning his stare. His eyes are fierce and focused on you, as if you are the only thing he sees at this moment.

Butterflies fill your stomach, maybe in fear, but more likely just from the excitement of being looked at this way. It’s intense and feels extremely intimate. He’s watching your every movement, like he sees you completely and wants to know more. Probably only looking at you this way because he is reading your mind. Oh no, he’s reading your mind.

You quickly drop your gaze, but he doesn’t drop your chin, so now you're back to staring at his lips by accident, but you don’t resist fantasizing about them. Your brain has given up on self preservation, too exhausted to care about the danger.

He bends down slightly, trying to lower his gaze to where you are looking, to get your attention. Your eyes refocus back on his own.

“Usually I leave others speechless from fear, but you, you don’t seem afraid in the way I prefer.” He says in a low voice, the vibrations causing you to shiver slightly. “I find you intriguing, so I’ll be keeping you.”

He leans forward, your hair catching in his stubble as his mouth reaches the shell of your ear. “Perhaps, if you’re good, I’ll permit you the feel of my lips.”

Your brain goes fuzzy between his words and the feel of his hot breath as he speaks. Honestly, his mouth may just be intoxicating. He lets out the tiniest chuckle before pulling away. He definitely heard that.

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆

Need to Rant with Others Who Have Read This Story?

Join My Discord It's free! Members get updates, sneak peaks, bonus content, events, and countdowns to new chapters. We'd love to have you, even if you just lurk!

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆

Love/Like/Hate What You Read?

Comment (please!) on AO3 or Blogger Anonymous/Comment/Message/Reblog on Tumblr Compliments feed me Constructive Criticism improves me

⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆ ˚｡⋆

Next Chapter: The Way He Touches You

[serena-darrin]

I teased a teeny bit of this earlier on the FicWip post, but:

Uh yeah. It's the first (and probably only) work in this series that doesn't feature Cal, because I found someone else to pick on instead. . . . . and, uh, I'm sorry. I had Questions and attempted to write something that answered them, this is what happened.

[spaced0lphin]

Fanfiction Release: Dialects

Read on Ao3 // 9,320 words // Merrin/Cal

If only for her sake, Cal Kestis cannot help but hope Merrin is wrong about being the last Nightsister. A little exchange of ideas opens up new possibilities, sending the two on a mission for answers. Cal must come to terms with the reality of his attachment and how it holds him back. But is it the attachment to a person, or to an old concept?

Rated T, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Mutual Pining, Teen Romance, Nightsister Magick/Culture, The Force, Canon Compliant, Jedi in Love

[djarintreble]

cost of attachment || c. kestis

summary: It's been years since you've seen your friend, Cal Kestis. His return causes you to question if leaving the fight is worth his company as well as wonder if you were ever meant to be more. You stumble on what might be the answer to both of your struggles. What is worth more, the fight or a chance of companionship?

notes: My first kestis fic! I’ve been playing jedi: survivor slowly cause i don’t want to finish it! I'm hoping to make this a short series.

tags: Cal Kestis x Fem!reader, jedi: survivor storyline (first 3 hrs of gameplay), angsty flashback, fluff, use of y/n and made up name (kinda like fulcrum for ahsoka), greez plays matchmaker, slow burn (wc: 5k+)

“I can’t keep doing this, Cal. I’m tired.” you cried, a hand going from your hip to gently touch your temple as a headache threatened to appear.

It’s been a long day of trying to convince your fellow jedi that it was time.

Time to let go of the fight.

“We can’t give up…” Cal slowly reached to where you stood and cautiously placed a hand on your arm. He said your name so soft, so gentle, as if he was afraid it would crumble if said louder. “If we don’t keep fighting, who will?”

You looked up at your best friend who you’ve fought along side with for the past 3 years. As two former padawans, you ventured throughout the galaxy hoping to restore the jedi order. The mantis crew was stronger than ever. But even warriors get tired. Now, you wanted nothing more than to forget it all.

Forget the Empire. Forget the purge. Forget the Order.

Except you couldn’t forget. That was a word used in the heat of the moment. All you really wanted was peace. But peace was costly and now it seems it might cost the closest thing you’ve had to an attachment. Someone you loved.

Cal Kestis was far from giving up. His determination drawing to be his weakness.

“No matter what we do. The Empire won’t stop. I can’t keep doing this.”

“So you’re leaving.” He stated softly.

“I don’t have to. We can move forward together. Find a planet on the outer rim, far away from Imperials, maybe Greez can finally open his saloon.” You try to lighten the mood, going to grab Cal’s hand in reassurance. Before you can, he pulls away.

“How can you think that when there are millions of life forms dying at the hands of the Empire? If we stop, who will be there for them?” His passion blinded him. Guided by anger, trauma, and unadmittedly, fear. He had the mind of a seasoned warrior, not that of a young man.

“There are others, Cal. We’ve done our part. We can trust that the rebellion will carry on. You’ve gone your whole life surrounded by war. Don’t you think it’s time to take a breath? Rest? Like actually rest not just meditating and hoping that does the trick before your next excursion.” Your words fell short to the jedi in front of you as he turned around, facing the mantis.

“I can’t stop.” He said, quietly. It only took a few steps before he was at the ramp as he headed back into the ship.

Your training as a jedi helped you in assessing your emotions and not reacting by them. Right now, you wanted to beg Cal to listen to you, to run away, to start a new life. You wanted to grab his hand and admit the feelings you’ve had for him since the day you met back on Bogana.

But you didn’t.

“Then I cannot go with you.” You said, earning a quick turn of the jedi’s head.

He looked at you with a sudden force of emotions. You continued to stand still against the coruscant hanger platform with a straight face. This time he was not afraid to speak your name allowed. He didn’t know how to feel. You really were serious.

“What does this mean then?” He asked, holding back from finishing the question with, for us?

“I have fought my whole life, Cal. It’s time I learn to live. There will always be war. There will always be suffering. If you choose to continue and fight, we must go our separate ways.” You say firmly.

There was a long silence between the two of you. Both scared to be the first one to leave, never losing eye contact.

“Cal, Y/N, we gotta go. I just got a message from Gerrera. We’re needed on- oh…” Greez scrambled out of the mantis. He was hit with a wall of tension created between the two of you. “I, uh, we gotta go, kids.”

“She’s not coming.” Cal said, his green eyes still locked on you. You were the first to look away, giving a knowing look toward Greez. He knew where your mind was at. He was nothing but proud of your decision and that it was only a matter of time before you left the mantis crew. He saw your bag that held what little you possessed and nodded.

“Right… uh, Cal. Let’s go.” He said, giving you a frown. You looked back up at Cal and swore you could feel his pain. It was enough to almost make you change your mind but you swallowed down the guilt and stood a little higher as Greez led Cal back into the Mantis.

“Please rest soon, Cal. You are worth more than the fight.” You gave a final word catching a glimpse of a nod from the jedi before the doors of the Mantis closed.

It has been 3 years since you’ve last seen Cal Kestis. He couldn’t escape your mind though. He has made a name for himself in the galaxy, known as the Empires most wanted. He still couldn’t put down the fight.

As for you, traveling the galaxy was top priority. Sure you’ve had your fair share of planet excursions but they were always on a mission. You never had time to explore the markets and learn of the different cultures. You wanted to learn shryiiwook on the planet of Kashyyyk while being led through the trees by wookies. You wanted to get a taste of luxury provided by the locals of coruscant. You wanted to taste the fruit you saw on Aplooine since the one time you visited, you were too focused on not getting blasted by Imps.

Leaving the mantis allowed you to do just that.

You kept your lightsaber and remained connected in the force. Of course, you still went out of your way to defend helpless people when your conscious forced you to along the way. But never to the point of recognition or turning the ears of the Empire.

New hair, new wardrobe, new name. Only those who knew you prior would even think to call you by your true name.

Though you left, your contact with Cere, Merrin and Greez never ceased.

Cere resided on Jedha, finding a more discreet way of rebelling against the Empire; recollecting the Jedi Archives. Merrin occasionally helping while also fulfilling her own wishes of exploring the galaxy. Sometimes you’d join her on more discreet expeditions.

Greez fulfilled his wish of opening the Pyloon’s Saloon. This was where resided when you weren’t traveling.

Koboh was a beautiful planet filled with many life forms. As a temporary resident of Rambler’s Reach Outpost, you grew close to the other locals and it became the closest thing you’ve had to home outside of the Jedi Temple and the Mantis. You brought back collectibles from all over the galaxy for Doma Dendra. You’d Nekko-back with Mosey throughout the ruins of Koboh. Even Turgle became tolerable.

Now, you were hours away from your next planned adventure to Cantonica. There, your friend Pamiil awaited you, excited to show you around Canto Bight and the other exciting things the planet had to offer.

You just came back from a day’s trip to the far side of Koboh with Mosey, bringing back shards and new information about recent Imperial activity. Your plan was to trade the shards with Doma for a few appropriate attire for the casino planet and pack your bags before leaving that night.

“Thanks, Doma. Hopefully these help me blend in until Pamiil can fit me into one of those dresses that stops my circulation by the end of the night.” You shrugged as you balanced the clothing in your arms.

“Of course, Corde. Safe travels.” The Waluna shop owner called out, a lighthearted laugh following your comment. You smiled at her calling you by your chosen name. Corde; your late master’s name.

You wondered if Master Corde Orum was proud of you. Would she have approved of your decision to step away from the war? Would she have wanted you to keep fighting until you ended up like her? No, you wouldn’t let yourself ponder on such thoughts.

You carried you new clothing back to your small living place, adding it along with the other materials you packed for the trip. Only the essentials and whatever else you could fit into a small pack. The order taught you how to live a minimalist life and that continued to show through your current way of living. Your space only consisted of a bed, a fresher, a small kitchenette, and a hidden compartment where proof of your former life laid.

It was routine to check in on Greez before you left so you made your way toward the saloon with your pack and a few gifts you collected for the Latero.

When you stepped in, you noticed it was buzzing with noise. The place usually only inhabited two or three locals at a time but it was almost as if the entire outpost decided to have a drink at this hour. You caught Mosey at the first table.

“What’s got everyone in a celebrating mood?” You asked.

“I don’t know. Something about ‘down with the raiders’” she said, taking a sip of her drink. “I heard Turgle talking about someone saving him from Rayvis and now they think we’ll get rid of them for good.”

“Hmmm” you said, concern laced in your voice. “Where’s Greez? He’ll know more.”

“Saw him go back into the kitchen a few minutes ago. Let me know what you find out.”

You said hi to Monk before passing through the kitchen doors to find Greez talking through his comms to someone.

“Hey Greez. What’s going on?”

“Oh hey. Rayvis made a visit while you were gone and caused a whole scene.” He laughed nervously. “With Turgle involved, you know how the town gets.”

“Yeah but I heard-“

“My memory is as bad as an Oggdo. I was meaning to bring some of those baskets down to my living quarters and forgot them back in the saloon. Would you be helpful and grab them for me? I’ll take your bags and go down to make a spot for the baskets.” He flashed a smile and held out two arms directing you back out to the saloon. “Thank you!” he sung with a smile too big to dismiss your suspicions.

With a sigh, you turned around to grab the baskets he was asking for. Sure you had somewhere to be, but you could never say no to Greez when he asked for favors. Especially after how many times he saved your life.

Retrieving the baskets, you made your way down to the living quarters. You depended on the force to guide you as the tower of baskets blocked your view.

“Hey Greez, you really need to start cleaning up the place when I’m gone.” You started, setting down the baskets in a corner and turning back around to find the Latero. “I can’t always be the one who-“

You were caught off guard by the person accompanying Greez.

He had fiery red hair and faded scars ran along his nose and neck along with the freckles that painted his skin. Unkempt facial hair hid the scar on his jaw and gave him a more mature look. His hair was grown out in the back and cut on the sides, shaping his face better than his former style. This was all accompanied by sunken green eyes proving he has not slept in days. As he recognized you, his stature became more defined. BD peered from jedi, head tilted in curiosity before little beeps signifying he knew who you were.

Cal Kestis.

Of course he was the talk of the town. Cal was the most wanted man in the galaxy. Here he was in front of you wearing a stupid smile before shaking his head and managing a more serious look.

“Kestis.” You said, not daring to move from your place.

“L/N.” He replied, taking a step toward you. Your reflexes made you take a step back.

“It’s Corde nowadays.” You stated.

“Corde.” he smiled as he realized the significance of the name.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, it was unclear whether you were happy to see him or not. You couldn’t decide yourself. He must have thought you’d go running into his arms or something as he stood there baffled at your tone.

Shouldn’t he be mad at you? You were the first to abandon him. Last time you saw him, the stinger mantis doors were closing as his eyes burned into yours. Surely he didn’t forget that.

“I should ask the same.” he responded, causing you to cross your arms.

“I was about to leave to Cantonica before Greez decided to play a game of unite the jedis.” You said, peering over at the Latero who clearly wasn’t expecting this. His holofilms made him believe this would be the reunion of a lifetime.

“Would you look at that, Corde! It’s Cal Kestis. Your best friend from the good ole days!” He moved closer to the two of you as he pressed on with his match making agenda.

“I see that. He still hasn’t answered my question.” You said, looking back at Cal.

This act of yours was hard to keep up but it was crucial to not let those hindered feelings for your old friend come back. Who knew how long he would be here. Sure you left him but it was bound to happen since the rest of the crew decided to go off on their own too. It was too much to unpack those feelings again.

“The mantis took a bit of damage after our last mission. I came to find the one person who knew the mantis better than anyone for repair.”

Like you suspected. This was a favor. Once the mantis was fixed, he would be gone again.

You shook the thoughts that managed to creep in and looked at Greez to see where he stood with this.

“I said I would help, Corde. Do you think you can help too?” In response to your immediate grimace, he continued, “For old time sake.”

“If it helps, Greez already saved you of a lecture.” Cal smirked. You couldn’t help but return a soft smile.

“Fine. Only because I owe you.” You said, giving Cal a knowing look. Something to repay the way you hurt him that day. Maybe you even owed it to yourself for not saying more. For losing the chance to say how you really felt about him.

“Alright,” Greez huffed before walking over to his wardrobe. “I wanna show you both something.”

With a press of a button, his circular wardrobe rotated to reveal a hidden passageway. The sounds of the machinery moving echoed into the new cave-like hall, signifying just how spacious it really was. You couldn’t but let out a sound of awe as you peered through. It’s been what- two years since you’ve lived here and you’re just now learning about this?

“This is a smuggler’s tunnel. It came with the cantina.”

BD jumped off Cal’s back and pattered over to the entrance and let out his own beeps of curiosity.

“Now you go ahead and look. I keep a lot of spare parts down there. I’m sure you’ll be able to find whatever you need to get the mantis up and running. Besides, it will be more helpful having two sets of hands.” The double meaning was enough to lighten the mood of the room.

“Alright, Greez. We got it. Pamiil will be fine a few more hours.”You laughed, checking to see if you still had your blaster in case of emergency. Carrying around your lightsaber was too dangerous now. It remained in the small box in your flat.

“Thanks. I appreciate all this.” Kestis acknowledged you both. You responded with a nod.

“Cal, can I tell you one thing?” The latero asked. “It’s really good seeing you again.” You smiled, Greez wasn’t someone to wear his emotions on his many sleeves. He had a soft spot for Cal. You couldn’t blame him though, it seemed you did too.

“Yeah, you too.” He responded. “Both of you.” He looked back at you with a sense of vulnerability.

“Yeah…” You trailed, breaking off eye contact between you two. Cal gestured to let you go first and you gladly took it, walking past him.

“And Greez, I’ll think about what you said.” You heard Cal say from behind. You were curious to just what Greez was lecturing Cal about.

“Hey, uh-“ Greez called out, making you and Cal look back over to him. He pondered for a second before simply saying, “Watch your step down there, be careful. I definitely have a pest problem.”

“It’s not me you have to worry about.” You called out, earning a snicker from Greez. Back when the pair of you would go on missions, that became a catch phrase and always ended with you both coming back to the mantis with some wild near-death story. It’s surprising you haven’t given Greez a heart attack… yet.

It was silent besides the echoes of your footsteps and the occasional beeps from BD when he wanted to scan something new. After a few minutes of following the trail marked with circular arches, you came across a green force field blocking you from going any farther. Before you could say anything, a bogling appeared and attempted to go through, resulting in being zapped. The creature fell back with a sad noise.

“Poor fella…” You knelt down to give the bogling a scratch behind its ears as Cal examined the energy field. The bogling leaned into your hand and purred.

“There’s no way through this.” Cal stated. You pushed off your knees to stand back up and look around the tunnel for another way around.

“Look, through there. There’s an opening. Think we can squeeze?” You asked. Cal raised his lightsaber up in the air to illuminate the opening.

“We can manage.” He shrugs, earning a smile from you. Maker… you missed him.

You pushed through the passage first, using the blue saber’s light as your guide. On the other side laid broken foundations and a small stream that puddled from a waterfall. Just how big was this tunnel, you thought. As Cal made his way through you both headed for another opening that came from the other side of this cave, behind the walls.

“How long have you lived here on Koboh?” The Jedi asked.

“I don’t consider myself a resident really. It’s more of a base camp between traveling. To keep an eye on Greez.” You say, climbing up one of the statures.

“You were never one for settling.” Cal called out from behind you. You smiled.

“Neither were you. Guess it’s a Jedi thing.” You say.

“Where have you travelled?” He asked. You performed an old wall jump across one of the broken passage ways and turned around to watch Cal catch up. As he landed, the structure between the two of you broke off, causing Cal to jump once again over to where you were at.

“Cal!” You yelled out, running to grab him. You held onto his arm as if his life depended on it. He was fine, honestly more than fine seeing how much you cared about him. A smirk painted his face as he said, “Careful… Nobody’s used these tunnels for a long time now.” You let go of him and turned back around to keep going. Really, you. needed to hide how red your face suddenly appeared.

As you turned around the corner, you found the energy field showing that you made it to the other side. Piles of supplies and crates laid around the cave.

“Just how much junk has Greez been hiding around here?” You asked mindlessly.

“Leave it to him to take another person’s junk and… add more junk.” Cal added.

As you went through the stuff to find the replacements Cal needed, he asked his question again. “Where have you travelled to… Corde?” He asked.

“You don’t have to call me that,” You said quietly, “there’s too much history between us.”

He said your name quietly, treating it as if it was fragile. He was known to do this. Honestly, he was always one to hold the things you cared about closely. Your name, your past, your lightsaber… Your future. It’s why he never asked the questions that lingered in his heads. The ones pertaining the relationship you share, why you really left years ago, why he couldn’t get your name out of his head late in sleepless nights.

Hearing your name from him once again made you feel warm inside. A feeling you were scared to meddle with once again.

“I went back to Kashyyyk recently.” You smiled. Looking up from a crate you were examining, you found Cal staring at you with a blank stare and smile. “What?” You whispered. He shook his head.

“How was it? Did you see Choyyssyk?”

“I did. He’s doing well. He led me through the Origin Tree again, now that it’s been recovered. It was beautiful to see when I wasn’t fighting an inquisitor.” You laughed yet Cal’s face made it clear that comment stung somehow. You continued, “And he even taught me a bit of shryiiwook.”

“Now that- I need to hear.” Cal laughed.

“I can’t speak it,” you laugh along with him. “I wouldn’t have a voice if I tried. I just now know when they’re making fun of you.” Throwing a gadget that you think could be of some use his way, you peered over to more gear around the corner and spotted the gyro module. “Is this what you were looking for?”

Cal follows your gaze and finds the gyro. He nods, “yeah, that’s it.” BD beeped, almost in a way to remind you he’s still there. You were still rusty on binary as you always use to let Cal translate for you. Cal understood what he said however and looked at him with a frown. “I know buddy but we have to keep going.”

You didn’t dare ask for a translation, the conversation obviously hinting toward you. Of course you missed the little droid and his red-headed companion.

Following Cal, you pondered on the idea of seeing him again after this. That maybe this wouldn’t be a one-and-done kind of situation. Maybe Cal would see how beautiful Koboh was and finally understand what you meant by settling down and leaving the fight.

These five years have changed you. They’ve always changed Cal. Neither of you, though, was willing to back down from your mindset. You left the fight and he can’t see a future where he doesn’t.

“Well… Here it is. Let’s go bring it back to the mantis to get it all fixed up.” Cal latched the module onto his belt and began to walk back toward Greez’ room. You followed behind quietly, somewhat sad that your short adventure was coming to a close.

“Hey Cal…” you began. He turned around with a smile. Before you could ask him, the step you took caused the ground beneath you to cave in. Before you could bear your surroundings, the floor slipped from beneath you as you fell into the apparent nothingness. “CAL!” you screamed.

Cal screamed your name before tumbling down after you along with worried beeps from BD.

You thrashed around, hoping to grab onto something, anything that would stop you from continuing down the dark path. Cal reached further toward you and grabbed your hand. With what little force you could focus in, you both pulled into each other. With his arms around you, he managed to wrap around so he was the one that fell first. You managed to land on a fallen arch, sliding down a long path that finally revealed an opening to a new part of the cave. The hill bumped you off causing the two of you to roll onto the new foundation. After scrambling around to find your grounding, you landed on top of Cal; your head landing on his chest.

It seemed you both haven’t processed that the fall was over as Cal kept his tight grip on you and your arms clinged onto the fabric of his vest. The sounds of BD’s concerned beeps brought you back to reality. Cal loosened his hold as you sat up, noticing the position you were both in.

You would have felt embarrassed if you weren’t distracted with how this new light made his green eyes seem almost seafoam green. How his red hair seemed to have bright orange highlights after years of many suns exposures. It’s been years since you’ve seen him up this close. So close you could see the way his faded scar on his nose trailed up toward his left eye in a light pink hue. His lips were chapped as they were left slightly open in response to your sudden curiosity.

“Are you okay?” He asked quietly. You pushed up away from him and suddenly realized how cold this area was. He was so warm.

“Yeah, I- I’m good. You?” Cal sat up onto his elbows with a groan.

“I’ve been better.” He replied honestly. He rolled his shoulders back as he sat up more. You realized he took the fall for you and jumped up to help him.

“Thank you.” Was all you said as you lifted his arm to help him stand up.

“For what?” He asked with a small laugh.

“Looking out me.” You responded, making sure he knew you were serious. He gave you a soft smile. “You always have. Even when I didn’t notice. Like now when you took the fall or all those times you saved my ass back in the mantis days.” Cal gave you a smirk.

“I’ve missed those.” He said, dusting off himself. BD climbed up his back with an agreeing “woooop boop.”

“I have, too.” You placed a hand on his bicep consolingly. “I’ve missed you.” You admitted. There was no more act to play. Now, you couldn’t let Cal leave this planet without knowing just how hard it was for you to leave him that day.

Cal placed his hand over yours. “The day you left… apart of me left as well. I haven’t been the same.” He couldn’t look into your eyes anymore.

“I thought you were mad at me for leaving. It’s why I never reached out. I’m sorry.” Before you could add more, he stopped you; his grip on your hand tightening.

“No. You made the right choice. I didn’t understand it at the time but- seeing you now… it needed to happen. A smart latero once told me, ‘it takes more strength to walk away than to keep fighting.’ I could never be as a strong as you.”

"Cal, that's not true."

"Yes it is. To keep you would mean to leave the fight. And... the fight is all I know." You couldn't respond. He was right. All you could do was wrap your arms around his waist and give him the hug you held back from when you first saw him that day.

You didn’t know where you were but it didn’t matter. Not when it meant you could be wrapped in Cal Kestis’ arms. A place you always wondered would ever become your safe haven.

Time was frozen as you breathed in his warmth once again. You were scared if you let go, you would feel the cold you felt before; the cold that inhabited you for the past few years.

You realized you never settled as you thought. You were still on survival mode under the pretense that you were exploring. To settle, to breath, meant being by his side. It took leaving and experiencing that sense of solitude to realize it. Now, you didn’t want to leave his side ever again. Even if that meant rejoining the fight.

The stubborn side of you thought it was stupid. You weren’t going to change your ways just because your past feelings decided to make an appearance. It was telling you that the second the mantis was fixed, Cal would leave you and you’d never see him again. It would take Koboh three rotations around its sun just to get over the hurt you’d make yourself feel by letting him in again.

But the side of you that was influenced by the force, by the ways you’ve been raised and taught, it told you this was meant to be. The force works in mysterious ways and events like this don’t happen just because. You were meant to see Cal Kestis again. The thought made you squeeze him a little tighter.

Your grip caused him to chuckle as he responded by rubbing your back consolingly. “I’ve missed you, too.”

Finally letting go, you pushed back to scan for any injuries you’ve ignored. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

He rolled his shoulders back again, rolling his head and twisting around waiting for something to pop or hurt. His years of being a scrapper destined him to aching bones and poor posture. So along with his never ending need to fight and not rest, he ignored some of the cracks and soreness. “Yeah yeah I’m alright. Tell you this. The sooner we get to Greez’s, the sooner we can-“ He stops as he looks beyond you. Cal gently moved you out of his way to look.

“The sooner we can what?” You asked, turning to look at whatever caught Cal’s attention. “Oh.”

The vast cave seemed endless. Waterfalls were replaced by old, disfigured structures. It felt familiar. As if you’ve always known they were here. It reminded you of some of the buildings you’ve seen in the distance on Koboh but was afraid to visit alone.

“What is this place?” You asked as you followed behind him. BD responded with a curious 'boop beep.'

“Almost reminds me of the Jedi training grounds.” Cal responded, you gave a nod in agreement. That’s what it was.

"Is this our way back?" You asked.

"Only one way to find out. Care for another adventure?" Cal turned to face you, an enticing smirk plastered on his face. His hands on his hips. BD beeped as in reiterating Cal's question.

You couldn't say no. Especially if it meant more time with your old friend. If this meant you'd be by his side a little longer, you'd wait to see if you would ever become more.

Beyond these caves would soon answer that question as you both worked toward a way to finally put the days of the Empire behind you and breath. Working along side the mantis crew once again to find what you've always longed for.

A home.

----------------

hi!! thank you for reading this! I said I was going to make this just one part but now I want to write more of cal and corde... lmk if you'd like more adventures between them! maybe they will finally admit what they were scared to this whole time.

corde - latin for "heart" french for "string"

tag list: @emberlei @chaoskrakenuwu